Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A loud crash pulled Lapis from her slumber. She growled into the pillow, already annoyed with her roommate. The sound of a dog barking followed the crash, and then Lapis was annoyed with her roommate’s dog, too. She threw the blanket off herself with a huff and stomped out of her bedroom, throwing the door open with a bang as it hit the door stopper on the adjacent wall.

Peridot was in the kitchen, the sound of sizzling pans and a gurgling coffee pot filling the living area of their apartment. She flashed Lapis an apologetic look. “Hey, um, good morning. I’m sorry about the noise.”

Lapis ignored her and plopped down onto the couch, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She frowned in annoyance at the dog hair on the sofa that was now clinging to her clothing.

“I’m making some bacon, do you want some?” Peridot asked.

Lapis grumbled in affirmation. Pumpkin, Peridot’s golden retriever, walked up to Lapis and licked her hand. Lapis pulled her hand away in disgust. “Go away,” she told the dog, wiping its saliva onto the couch.

Peridot brought a plate of bacon to Lapis, setting it on the coffee table along with a mug of coffee, as the name of the table would imply. Lapis stood up from the couch, grabbing the bacon in a fist and the mug in her other hand. “I’m going to Steven’s.” She walked out the door without bothering to put on shoes. As she slammed the door behind her she heard Peridot say a quiet “Bye.”

Lapis walked down the street, half-awake as she chewed on the strips of bacon. She took a sip of coffee, ignoring the stares from people gawking at the barefoot, blue-haired girl with a handful of bacon and a coffee mug, looking like she would fall over snoring any second. Lapis hit the button at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. She closed her eyes and hummed as the bacon flavor exploded across her taste buds. As much as Peridot and her dog got on Lapis’s nerves, she had to admit her roommate’s cooking was to die for. She opened her eyes and went to cross the street. Halfway across the crosswalk, she realized she hadn’t checked if the light changed. She heard a honk and then everything went black.

The sound of running water and television filled her ears. Lapis opened her eyes, looking around. Everything had a strange tint to it, as if all the color had been drained from the world and replaced with black and white and shades of grey. She recognized her apartment, though she couldn’t recall ever seeing it from this angle before. Peridot was in the kitchen washing dishes, humming to herself. Lapis tried to stand up but found the task strangely difficult. She managed to stand, but only on all fours. What the fuck is wrong with my legs? she wondered. Lapis tentatively made her way to the kitchen, but a movement in her peripheral stopped her dead in her tracks. The mirror on the wall by Peridot’s door. Lapis walked up to the mirror, blinking as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing. There, in the reflection, staring straight back at her, was Pumpkin.

Chapter Text

Lapis tried to process what she was seeing. Pumpkin. Staring straight back at her. She looked down and saw a pair of paws, the floor much closer to her than it should be. Lapis turned around and saw the rest of the dog, complete with a tail. She willed the tail to swish and nearly jumped out of her skin when it obeyed.

Peridot laughed from the kitchen, “What’s wrong, girl? You act like you’ve never seen your reflection before.”

“Peridot, what the fuck is going on!” Lapis tried to say, but all that came out was a series of barks and borks.

Peridot winced at the loud noise, shushing her.

Lapis scanned the room frantically, unsure of what to do. Table. Television. Sofa. Door. Vase - wait! Door! Lapis ran to the glass sliding door that led to their small patio, pawing at the glass.

“Do you need to go out?” Peridot asked, walking over from the kitchen. Lapis whined in response. “Alright, calm down, Pumpkin.” Peridot unlocked the door and slid it open.

Lapis bolted out the door and ran as fast as her four legs could take her. She could hear Peridot yelling after her, but that only made her run faster. Gotta get to Steven’s. Gotta get to Steven’s. Gotta get to- a horn honking interrupted Lapis’s mental mantra and she barely got out of the way as the car swerved. “Watch where the fuck you’re going!” Lapis said, forgetting that she could only bark.

Lapis made it to the crosswalk she remembered being at earlier. She saw no sign of her human body, though there was a man with a hose cleaning blood off the street. Oh, fuck, that must be mine. Lapis ran over to him and tried to get his attention. “Help!” she tried to say, “I’m trapped in a dog’s body!”

The man scowled at her and kicked her in the stomach, “Get out of here, mutt.” Lapis growled at the man and he sprayed her in the face. She ran away, huffing at the uncomfortable sensation of water in her snout.

She walked down the street, not paying attention to where she was. “Puppy!” somebody yelled. Lapis stopped and turned around, wagging as a pair of children approached her. Great, snot-nosed brats, they’ll at least pay attention to me. One of the kids slapped her on the top of her head and another one pulled on her ears. “Ouch!” Lapis attempted to say, “That fucking hurts!” But, alas, it came out as a snarl and the kids started to cry, running away. Good fucking riddance.

Lapis kept walking and came upon a homeless man sitting against a building, seemingly asleep. The first thing she detected with her dog-senses was that this man stank. Badly. She looked at him in disgust. He opened his eyes and gave her a toothless smile. “Hello, doggy,” he rasped. Lapis stepped closer, lowering her head for him to pet her. He grabbed her collar abruptly, “I reckon dog meat is pretty tasty, eh?”

Lapis tried to pull away from the man, but only succeeded in choking herself. She panicked and sunk her teeth into the man’s arm, satisfied with the scream he gave as he let go of her collar. She booked it and hid in an alley. Fuck, the cops are going to be after you now. Wait - can a hobo even call the cops on you? Lapis tried to spit the taste of the old, probably-diseased man’s blood from her mouth. Another rancid smell reached her nostrils and she thought the man might have followed her, until she realized that the rancid smell was… pleasantly rancid. Her stomach growled in response.

She turned her attention to the garbage can in the alley. Oh, no you aren’t , she told herself. Oh, yes you are , her dog-instincts retorted. After a small battle of will, the dog part of Lapis won out and she found herself snout-deep in a knocked over garbage can. This is so fucking disgusting - so fucking delicious.

After Lapis feasted like a king of the landfill, she laid down on some newspaper in the alley, wondering what her next move should be. A loud crash of thunder sounded and she jumped, not used to how advanced her hearing was now. It began to rain lightly and she huffed as the moisture soaked her fur. It was going to be a long night.

Lapis was pulled out of her slumber by the sound of yelling. It took a second, but she recognized the voice was yelling “Pumpkin!” She lifted her head and saw Peridot running towards her, face red, puffy, and tear stained. Peridot kneeled down to her level. “You stupid dog, I was looking for you all night!” Peridot reached towards Lapis’s neck, making the latter panic momentarily. After her experience with the kids and the hobo, she wasn’t keen on being touched anytime soon. Peridot slipped a leash around her neck and Lapis tried to pull on it. Peridot scratched her neck, right under the collar. The pleasant feeling immediately halted Lapis’s struggle. Ooh, that feels so good.

Peridot frowned, “What’s gotten into you, girl?”

Lapis tried to respond, “Your roommate!”

Peridot laughed at the bark, sighing. “I’m sorry, I guess you just felt cooped up, huh? I’ll take you on more walks from now on, if you promise not to run away and scare me like that.” She stood up and gave a gentle tug on the leash. Lapis mentally sighed - which translated into a huff - and followed Peridot back to their apartment.

Chapter Text

When they arrived back at the apartment, Peridot filled Pumpkin’s food bowl with dry kibble. She set it in front of Lapis. Lapis sniffed the dog food and turned up her nose. I am not going to lower myself to dog food . Lapis’s second head voice retorted, Dude, you are garbage yesterday. Lapis responded to herself, Irrelevant.

While Lapis was very likely going insane, Peridot was watching her in concern. “What’s wrong, Pumpkin? Do you not feel like dry food?” Peridot took a can from the cupboard and opened it. The sound made Lapis’s ears perk up.

Shit, it smells so good , Lapis thought as she watched Peridot pour the wet dog food in her bowl. No, stay strong, Lapis. You’re not a dog - But you are a dog. Lapis relented to her dog instincts and went to scarfing down the chunks of sketchy meat that weren’t good enough for human consumption. She was vaguely aware of Peridot patting her on the head and going to the living room.

Lapis was licking her chops in satisfaction when a loud ringing filled the apartment. Lapis barked at the phone, Holy shit it’s so loud please fucking make it stop it hurts my ears good fucking god. Peridot answered the archaic landline and put Lapis out of her misery. Lapis realized she could hear Steven’s voice on the other end of the phone, thanks to her heightened senses.

“Hey, Steven, what’s up?”

“Lapis got hurt,” Steven replied. Lapis’s ears perked up at her name.

“What?” Peridot asked, “What happened? She didn’t come home last night but I just thought… she stays out sometimes.”

“I’ve been trying to call you all morning,” Steven said, “Where have you been?”

Peridot huffed, shooting a look at Lapis, “Pumpkin ran off and I was looking for her. You didn’t answer my question. What happened to Lapis? Is she okay?”

Lapis mentally thanked the universe that Peridot was asking the questions she couldn’t ask herself.

“She got hit by a car,” Steven said. That much Lapis knew, but what Steven said next was news to her. “The doctors say she’s in a coma, they don’t know when she’ll wake up.”

Peridot choked up, “Oh, no.”

“We’re going to see her soon. Do you want to come with? We can pick you up.”

Peridot hesitated, biting her lip. “I… don’t know if she’d want me there. We’re not exactly close.”

“Are you sure?” Steven pressed.

“Yeah,” Peridot said, “Just… tell her I hope she’s okay, in case she can hear.”
Lapis mentally screamed.

“Alright. And Peridot?”

“Yeah?”

“It’ll be okay. Garnet said she can help you with rent if… if Lapis doesn’t wake up for a while.”

Peridot looked confused. Lapis was flattered that Peridot’s concern put living expenses to the back of her mind. “Oh,” she said, “Thanks. I guess.”

“I’ll talk to you later.”

Lapis heard Steven hang up with a click , Peridot replied a second later. “Bye,” she said, hanging up the landline in a daze.

Chapter Text

The rest of the day passed by rather uneventfully. Peridot seemed a bit shaken by the news, but Lapis didn’t understand why. Peridot had said herself that they weren’t close. Maybe she was just stressed about rent, long-term. Garnet wouldn’t be paying Lapis’s half forever. That is, if Lapis never woke up. Wait… does this mean Pumpkin’s consciousness is in my body? What if I wake up and start crawling around the hospital and peeing on everything? Lapis pondered these pressing questions as she walked into her room, hopping on the bed. She made a few circles, getting comfortable, and laid down on the comforter.

Peridot burst into the room, eyes frantic. “Pumpkin. Get down.”

Lapis ignored her, crossing her paws and resting her chin on them.

Peridot walked up to the bed and grabbed Lapis’s collar, pulling firmly. “Pumpkin, come on,” Peridot whined, “She doesn’t like you shedding on her things. You shouldn’t even be in here!”

Lapis planted her feet on the bed, letting the collar slide towards her ears, praying that the stupid, demeaning thing would slip off. It caught on her ears uncomfortably and she whined.

Peridot let go of the collar and grabbed Lapis’s front legs, still trying to pull her off the bed. She had only succeeded in messing up the bedding. Lapis nipped at Peridot’s fingers.

The girl let go of Lapis, deflating. “I miss her, too, Pumpkin,” she said quietly. What the fuck? Lapis thought. Peridot sighed and walked to the door, “I guess you can stay in here tonight.”

Damn fucking right, I can, Lapis thought victoriously, It’s my room anyway. She re-situated herself on the bed, feeling quite smug for getting her way. As she started to drift off, her ears picked up a sound through the wall. She lifted her head and honed in on the sound. It sounded like… crying?

Lapis’s heart sank. Pumpkin always slept in Peridot’s room - she was Peridot’s emotional support animal, after all. Peridot was probably very lonely... Oh, you are not considering that, Lapis told herself. Ugh, yes you are. She begrudgingly got up and went into Peridot’s room. She took in the sight of Peridot, huddled under her blankets, shaking with quiet sobs.

Lapis knew she couldn’t back out of this now. She jumped onto the bed and nudged Peridot’s shoulder. Peridot sniffled and looked at her, confused. Lapis nudged her again and Peridot wrapped her arms around Lapis’s neck, sobbing into her fur. Lapis shifted so she could lick Peridot’s face. Huh, tears and snot taste kinda good. What the fuck, Lapis? Don’t be weird. You’re in a dog’s body cuddling with your roommate. It’s weird. Lapis huffed, silencing her internal dialogue. I hate being a dog.

Chapter Text

Peridot went about her morning routine - making bacon, eggs, and coffee - while Lapis watched longingly from the floor. Now that she was a dog, she doubted she would get any bacon. She certainly wouldn’t get any coffee. Can dogs even drink coffee? Lapis didn’t know - she didn’t even like dogs, so she had no reason to know what they should or shouldn’t consume.

She lifted her head quizzically as Peridot filled the coffee maker with far too much water. Then, Peridot cracked two eggs into the frying pan and twice as much bacon as one person would eat. Lapis didn’t know what to feel when she realized that Peridot was still cooking for two. Peridot paused, seeming to notice this herself. Her shoulders slumped and she let out a deep sigh, rubbing at her face. Lapis hoped she wouldn’t start crying again. She walked over to Peridot and nudged her roommate’s knee, hoping the gesture would offer some comfort.

Peridot scratched Lapis’s head, smiling sadly down at her. “Sit, Pumpkin.”

Lapis looked at Peridot, unamused, until she noticed that Peridot was dangling two strips of bacon above her head. Lapis obeyed the command, cursing herself. All the shame and humiliation she felt at being treated like a dog was washed away when Peridot lowered the bacon for her to eat. Asdfgsakjh, Lapis thought, sooo fucking good.

Lapis was glad that, if she had to be a dog, she had luckily gotten an owner who was nice enough to share bacon. When you were a human, you had a roommate that would share bacon with you, too, and you hated her, Lapis reminded herself. She was starting to have trouble differentiating between her two head voices: which one was her and which one was against her.

Peridot dished out the eggs and remaining bacon, pouring herself a mug of coffee, leaving the pot half full. She took the frying pan off the burner and turned around to put it in the sink, but Lapis was in her way. Peridot barely missed stepping on Lapis’s tail, dropping the frying pan in the process. “FUCK!” she said, flinching at the loud noise and throwing a wary glance towards Lapis’s bedroom door. She looked terrified, as if she was waiting for Lapis to storm out of the bedroom and yell at her. Lapis realized that was exactly what Peridot was waiting for.

Am I really that scary when she wakes me up? Lapis wondered guiltily, Yeah, I am.

Chapter Text

Lapis found herself in her bedroom, chewing on her nails absentmindedly. Peridot’s voice carried from the other room. She was talking to someone on the phone, but Lapis couldn’t make out the full conversation from this distance.

“Hello, this is Peridot Olivine. I was wondering if I could schedule an appointment for my dog.”

Lapis strained to hear the other side of the conversation, only making out a muffled voice.

“Well,” Peridot replied, “She’s been acting strange lately. She won’t eat dry food. She ran away a few days ago and stayed out all night-”

The muffled voice spoke up, interrupting Peridot.

“No, she’s spayed. She couldn’t have gotten pregnant.”

Lapis huffed indignantly as the muffled voice went on about something.

“Her name is Pumpkin, she’s a four-year-old Labrador. She should be in the database.”

Lapis stretched as more muffled words were exchanged.

“Okay, 2pm today. I can do that. Thank you.”

When it neared 2pm, Lapis had resigned herself to her fate. The vet can’t be any more demeaning than when you ate from the garbage. She allowed Peridot to slip the leash around her neck and walk her. Lapis had to admit, it was a lovely day. The sun was out, a light breeze blew through her fur, and birds chirped in the trees. She and Peridot stopped by a rose bush and Lapis sniffed the flowers, then peed on them.

They arrived at the vet clinic and waited in the lobby. Lapis felt overwhelmed by all the smells and noises, but Peridot’s hand massaging her ear put her at ease. After a few minutes, a woman called Peridot’s named and led them to a room in the back of the building. A chipper young man entered the room, introducing himself as the veterinarian. Lapis got a good vibe from him.

“So, what seems to be the problem with Pumpkin?” he asked, looking at his clipboard and letting Lapis sniff his hand before petting her.

“She won’t eat her dry food and she’s been acting really strange lately.”

The vet hummed and pulled back Lapis’s lips, inspecting her teeth. Lapis wanted to bite him but restrained herself. “Sometimes dogs don’t like dry food because it exacerbates dental pain, but she looks like she has pretty healthy teeth. You said on the phone she ran away?”

“Yeah,” Peridot answered, “A few days ago.”

“Has she been acting sick, like she might have gotten into something?”

The garbage? Lapis wondered.

“No, not sick. She’s just seemed off.”

“Anything going on that might be causing her stress?”

“Well, my roommate has been hospitalized for a few days. Since Pumpkin ran away, actually.”

“Was Pumpkin close to your roommate?” the vet asked.

“No,” Peridot said quickly, “Lapis hates Pumpkin.”

“Are you close with your roommate?”

“Lapis hates me, too,” Peridot said. Lapis whined.

The vet followed up by asking, “Do you hate your roommate?”

Peridot paused, mulling over the question. “No. No, I don’t.”

The veterinarian sat down on a stool by the counter, “Dogs have a sort of sixth sense. They can tell when the people around them are in pain. Even if Pumpkin wasn’t close to Lapis, she may still be upset that a member of her ‘pack’ is gone,” he explained. “Or, Pumpkin could be picking up on your emotions and acting accordingly.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Peridot said.

“Just to be safe, I think we should take a blood sample and make sure there isn’t anything wrong with her health.”

Peridot nodded, holding Lapis and scratching her ears comfortingly while the vet took a blood sample. He told Peridot that the results would be back in about a week and sent them on their way. Peridot walked Lapis back to the lobby, stopping at the front desk to pay the bill.

As they made their way back to the apartment, Peridot’s conversation with the veterinarian kept replaying in Lapis’s head.

“Lapis hates me…”

No, I don’t.

Chapter Text

“I don’t care if you’re on the yellow team, Percy. We can make this work!”

“It’s the color war, Paulette. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

Peridot and Lapis were glued to the couch, watching the latest episode of Camp Pining Hearts. Before the coma and body-swap, Lapis had refused to watch the show with Peridot, despite her roommate asking quite often.

Now, though, Lapis was realizing it was a pretty good show, and she regretted how adamantly she had refused to watch it. She only wished she could watch it in color - yellow team, blue team, pink team, they were all the same grey team to Lapis.

Peridot was eating popcorn with one hand, her other hand absentmindedly petting Lapis. Lapis tried to focus on Paulette and Percy snogging, but a ringing in her ears kept taking her attention off the screen. She squeezed her eyes shut, pawing at her ears.

“What’s wrong, Pumpkin?” Peridot asked. Her voice sounded far away.

The ringing only grew louder and louder, until it was a distinct beeping noise. Lapis opened her eyes, trying to locate the source of the noise. Instantly, she noticed a change in her vision. Color. She tried to sit up but found the effort was a bit painful and she groaned. She realized she was in a bed, the beeping coming from a heart monitor beside her.

“Lapis!”

She looked to her side and saw Steven standing over her, wide-eyed and shocked.

“You’re awake!”

Lapis smiled at him, “Hey Steven.”

“Oh my gosh,” Steven said, “How are you feeling?”

Lapis felt like shit. Her entire body was sore and she had a massive headache. “Good,” she said, “Really good.” She meant it.

“Do you remember what happened to you?”

Lapis wracked her brain. Crossing the street. Dog. Kibble. Peridot. Camp Pining Hearts . “I got hit by a car, right?”

Steven nodded.

Lapis sat up and scanned the room. “Where’s Peridot?”

Steven looked at her quizzically. “At home. Why?”

Lapis let herself fall back onto the bed, “No reason.”

Chapter Text

Lapis was discharged from the hospital that evening. When she opened the door to her apartment, Peridot was at the table eating dinner, looking at Lapis like she’d just seen a ghost.

Lapis beamed, “Hey, Peridot.”

Peridot swallowed a mouthful of food. “Um. Hi.”

Lapis went into her room and took a deep breath, reveling in the homey smell. She plopped down on the bed, burying her face in the pillow and smiling at the dog hair. Peridot cleared her throat from the doorway.

“I’m really sorry about all the dog hair. I didn’t expect you back so soon, I would have washed the bedding if I had known. I can do it now, if you want, so you don’t have to sleep on it like that.”

Lapis rolled over and smiled at Peridot. “Don’t worry about it.”

Peridot looked stunned. “Okay…” she closed the door behind her as she left. Lapis fell asleep a few minutes later.

Lapis awoke to the sound of clatter from the kitchen. Peridot yelled, “Shit!” from the other room. Lapis hopped out of bed, stretching and humming in satisfaction as her back popped. She opened her door and leaned against the frame, smiling at Peridot. The latter nearly cowered at the sight of Lapis. Lapis smiled wider, “Good morning.”

Peridot flinched, “Uhm… your breakfast is on the counter.” Peridot took her plate and sat down at the table. Lapis, instead of taking her food and leaving as she usually did, copied Peridot and sat across from her at the table.

Peridot stared at her plate, sweating nervously. Lapis noticed Pumpkin lying on the floor by her chair and leaned down to pet the dog. Pumpkin looked up at her, confused. Lapis offered a strip of bacon to the dog, smiling as Pumpkin got slobber all over her hand.

Lapis cleared her throat, breaking the silence, “So, I was thinking, that show you always watch. Camp Pining Hearts? I’ve been thinking about getting into it.”

Peridot swallowed, making a choking noise. “Not to be rude, but… how hard did you hit your head?”

Lapis laughed, snorting. “Hard enough. But, seriously, I want to watch Camp Pining Hearts with you.”

“Uh, alright then,” Peridot said, “Maybe later today, I’m going to take Pumpkin for a walk.”

Lapis perked up at the word “walk”, mentally cursing herself. “Oh. Yeah? That sounds fun. Is it okay if I tag along?”

Peridot looked at Lapis cautiously, “Well, um, yeah. I guess.”

Lapis leaned down and scratched Pumpkin’s ear, “You hear that, Pumpkin? You’re going for a walk!” she said, emphasizing the last word. It had the desired effect, making Pumpkin’s ears perk up and her tail thump against the floor.

Peridot went to retrieve Pumpkin’s leash, Lapis feeling a pang of sympathy as it was slipped around Pumpkin’s neck. Lapis held the door for them, a bit envious of Pumpkin’s rapture for the outside world. What fascinating smells and scents was Pumpkin witnessing?

“Hey, Peridot?” Lapis asked.

Peridot jolted, apparently forgetting Lapis was there. “Yes?”

Lapis fidgeted with the sleeve of her jacket, "When I was in my coma... I had a lot of time to think." She stopped walking."You're always so good to me, like making me breakfast every morning. I never really appreciated it, and I want to make it up to you."

Peridot was looking at Lapis like she had two heads. "Okay?"

Lapis cleared her throat, "Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?"

The question took Peridot by surprise, leaving her a blushing and sputtering mess. "I-uh-um… Okay… Sure."

And the rest, as they say, is history.