Work Text:
Gone. Dead. Betrayal. Defeat. Victory. Loss.
Remus couldn’t make sense of words anymore. Words were safe. They had a particular meaning. Not anymore. Not in this world apparently.
In any other world
you could tell the difference.
For Remus there wasn’t a difference between Victory and Loss. People were celebrating. Celebrating the death of Lily and James?
In any other world a victory would probably feel like a victory and they would finally get to test those ridiculous firework experiments Sirius had bragged about for months.
Trust. Betrayal. Sirius.
In any other world Sirius would have died for his friends.
Apparently not in this one.
And let it all unfurl
Into broken remnants
A picture of the Marauders, Lily and Harry in their midst. What was left of them now ?
Lily . James. Peter. Dead.
Killed... killed because- … no actually killed BY Sirius.
Remus tore at his flesh. He didn’t care that it wasn’t the full moon. In this moment he just wanted to feel anything else. He needed to know if this was real. This couldn’t be real.
In any other world Sirius would hold him and mourn with him, raise Harry with him. And give him chocolate in an attempt to make it better.
Smile like you mean it
And let yourself let go
Smiling was easy at the thought of Sirius licking chocolate from his sticky fingers.
It was all wrong.
He hated Sirius...now.
Smile. People are celebrating. He had to smile because Voldemort was gone. Harry survived.
In any other world he would smile because Sirius had managed to teach Harry his first word: Pa-foooood.
But not in this world. In this world Sirius wanted to ki----! No… better try and smile.
Cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man
Why ? WHY ?
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
In any other world he had shared this flat with the most important person in his life.
In this world he stood in the room of a stranger. It was hard to convince himself that he knew the man with the brilliant smile and wavy long black hair in any other world.
But not in this one.
Take a bow, play the part of a lonely, lonely heart
In any other world he had been part of a pack. An unparalleled unconditional friendship.
In this world he had no one. He was alone again.
Not so surprising somehow. It was a part he had once known how to play well.
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
In any other world he would sit on this bed and try to shake Sirius awake.
Not in this world. In this world he had to hold onto Sirius’ lingering scent only to be repulsed by it and empty his stomach on the rug.
In any other world padfoot would curl up on this rug and whine until someone scratched him.
To the world you thought you lived in
In this world. Sirius sleeps in a cell in Azkaban. (Hopefully without a warm bed)
I tried to live alone
But lonely is so lonely, alone
He tore himself to shreds on the first full moon alone. He kept imagining to see Peter in one of the rats in his cellar. But Peter was .... Sirius was….. James. Lily.
No one would ever join him on full moons again.
So human as I am
He hated that Sirius had been right all along. He was human. Or why else would he still have hope in the darkest corners of his heart…
I had to give up my defenses
When McGonagall wrote him to tell him about Harry and about the free position at Hogwarts it seemed to be to good to be true. He wouldn’t be welcome. Harry would probably hate him.
So I smiled and tried to mean it
He needed the money. And he was grateful for her offer. He was.
To let myself let go
Of course he could let the past go.
In any other world the corridors of Hogwarts would have reminded him of countless times he was stuck under the invisibility cloak to stand guard while James and Sirius set up the latest prank.
In this world Sirius had apparently found THE ultimate secret passageway out of Azkaban and wanted to finish what he had started.
Remus was no murderer. But if Sirius would ever come close to him he would let himself go.
After all, in this world, everything was wrong.
Cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Take a bow, play the part of a lonely, lonely heart
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
To the world you thought you lived in
Cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Take a bow, play the part of a lonely, lonely heart
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
To the world you thought you lived in
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Say goodbye
In any other world
You could tell the difference