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Rumours and Radiances
Captain Jean-Luc Picard and his chief medical officer were enjoying themselves in the Holodeck. They were there because the Federation's Entertainment Division had sent over a new program which they had developed, and wanted some influential Starfleet officer's opinions on it! Why he qualified as 'influential', Picard didn't know. As for Beverly Crusher, she had heard what the program was and talked him into letting her come along.
Federation Galaxy Entertainment had worked out a way of changing old twentieth-century films into Holographic images which could be viewed on a Holodeck or a planet's holographic facility. It was much the same principle as already used by the Holodecks, but in these the audience could not participate; also, the audience got to view a twentieth-century human perspective of events instead of a computer's recreation. So Jean-Luc Picard and Dr Beverly Crusher were in Holodeck Three watching "Gone with the Wind".
As Scarlett passed her, Beverly could feel the swish of her dress, and it made her wonder what it would be like to have lived in such a... a barbaric, yet romantic time. Picard was thinking that the way it was all done was really very good, and he'd say as much in his message to F.G.E. But by the time the presentation had ended, both were struggling to hold back the emotion. Picard was managing it; his chief surgeon wasn't! "Isn't it romantic, Captain?" she asked, wiping tears away.
"What? Oh, yes. It's not a time period that has ever interested me, but it seems to evoke the right mood," replied the captain as he stood up, all business once again. "End program, exit Holodeck," Picard ordered, turning back only to say, "Oh, doctor... thank you for accompanying me." Beverly got in a quick smile before the Holodeck doors closed, leaving her sitting in the bare room.
As Picard strode onto the bridge, he felt all eyes turn toward him. "Good program, Sir?" Riker asked, trying not to smirk - he wasn't managing very well though! Jean-Luc gave him a look of extreme long-suffering and sat down in the command chair, ready to drum up some business for the day. "How are we with the star charting, Number One?"
It wasn't really star charting as much as exploring outer systems so that they could be better catalogued in the Federation's records. "No problems, Sir. We are expecting a shuttle from Starbase 184 in about half an hour, containing more of that sensitive E-A118 sensor equipment we requisitioned six weeks ago."
Picard nodded, about to go on to the next thing, but Riker continued. "And... Wesley Crusher will be on board. Sir." He said it as if he expected the captain to object, or... or something. But Picard only asked, "Visiting his mother?"
"Yes. And he'll have a couple of jobs here which we can help him with so that he'll save time at the Academy." At this rate, Riker privately thought to himself, Wesley will be a Captain before he's even 25! Yet the thought didn't bother him.
"All right, Number One," Picard answered, and they went on to the next order of business.
Wesley Crusher was indeed in the shuttlecraft, which was getting closer to the Starship Enterprise every minute now. Wes felt light-headed with excitement - he was doing so well at the Academy, and now he would be back on the ship he thought of as home, knowing more and able to participate more! The thought made him giddy; the fact that his mother was on the Enterprise as well was a mere pleasant addition.
His mother. Wesley began to think about her now. He knew she was happy, but he felt she deserved something which just wasn't in her life. She had missed his father, Wesley knew this. Now she missed the someone who should have taken his father's place. That alien ambassador... Wes felt strongly that Odan
could have made his mother happy, if only... Well, no sense in dwelling or that now. If what his mother had told him about it all was true, she still loved Odan, but it was over.
Wesley had never worried about his mother before, but he found himself doing so now. He began to look forward to seeing her, and to seeing Captair Picard... He checked his chronometer for the eighth time, and his travelling companion sighed. Wesley looked at her. He knew who SHE was looking forward to seeing, and somehow that made him angry.
"We'll get there when we get there," his companion said. "You're driving me nuts with all that fidgeting."
"Sorry," muttered Wesley, his mind millions of miles away.
The transporter room had been pretty quiet while the Enterprise had gone or with its star-charting mission, but now it came to life again as Picard walked in. Miles O'Brien smiled to himself, said out loud: "Welcoming Wesley aboard, Sir?"
As usual, the Enterprise's commanding officer was preoccupied. "What? Oh, yes."
"Proud of him, aren't you, Sir?" O'Brien asked, again hitting the mark. And this made Jean-Luc smile. "Actually, Chief O'Brien, I am. He has done very well and I know his father would be proud as well. However - " and here a sterner note crept into the Captain's voice - "you may not tell him I said so."
"Understood, Sir." O'Brien understood better than Picard thought. He knew that while Picard was proud of Wesley, he didn't like having to admit to emotions he was uncomfortable with. That man should have been born a Vulcan, thought the transporter chief, not for the first time. "The tractor beam is locked on now, Sir."
"Very well, Mr O'Brien, bring them aboard."
Both men were expecting some sensitive, non-replicable equipment and one 18-year-old Ensign/cadet. Picard especially was NOT expecting the second person, who stepped off the transporter, shook her lovely dark hair and said, "Well, well, Jean-Luc, aren't I the lucky one to see you here!", all while giving him that knowing smile which drove him crazy.
"Vash!" was all he could think of to say.
***
When Beverly Crusher heard that the captain's previous lover was on board, she wasn't very happy at all. Though she had got on with Vash all right the last time, the thought of her being here still bothered Beverly. Twice in one day she almost gave crewmen the wrong injections, though luckily her nurse had caught the mistakes before she could fatally inject her fellow crewpeople. She WAS happy to see her son, though.
After the customary hug when he came in, she said, "Let me look at you!"
Wesley had grown taller and filled out a little. And Wesley's mother bit her lip when she found herself thinking that he looked just like his father... but he did. They spent the first night in her cabin, catching each other up on their lives. Wesley was extremely enthusiastic about Starfleet Academy, and was pleased that he had a chance to do some more practical work at home.
When he called the Enterprise "home" his mother merely smiled, thinking that this ship had become more of a home to them in the last few years than they had felt alone on Earth. "But you know, Mom, even when one is on a training cruise or a simulation, it isn't the same as being on a real Starship!"
"You got too used to the real thing, Wes. Most cadets get their first taste of space travel in simulations, but you were lucky enough to live on a starship. Remember that. Don't look down on them for not having your experience."
"Of course not, Mom." He frowned - he'd been right that his mother was missing something in her life. It wasn't that she needed a man to complete her, he thought, it was that she missed something she'd once had and wanted to reclaim it. "But," he continued, hoping to break out of that thought pattern, "I have lots of interesting stories to tell everyone!" He was comforted when his mother smiled indulgently.
***
Captain Picard was finding it very hard to do his job while Vash was on board. Twice already he had found himself walking in the direction of the guest quarters to demand that Vash explain to him what she was really doing back on his ship. Had she driven Q to distraction so that he'd gotten rid of her? If anyone could do that, Vash could. Yet he suspected that that wasn't it - Q and Vash had gotten on well. What, then?
The answer was forthcoming when he - rather uncharacteristically - went down to Ten Forward. Vash came in and leaned over the table looking at him. "I missed you," was all she said.
"And that's why you're here? Because you missed me?"
"Well..." Then she smiled broadly at him. "Q went off to the Continuum for some hush-hush omnipotent something or other, so I elected to come here. I do care about you, Jean-Luc."
Jean-Luc swallowed hard. "You enjoy making my job more difficult," he said.
"Of course!" she smiled. "Wanna go to the Holodeck and play Robin and Marian?"
At Picard's shocked look she went off, smirking to herself.
It was inevitable, of course, that the two women in Picard's life would cross paths again. They hadn't thought it would happen in the ship's hair salon, though. Beverly was giving her hair the full treatment when Vash came in, asking, "How about something soft and seductive?" Beverly looked up from where she was having real avocado smeared into her hair (Deanna swore by it) and saw who had just come in. "Hi," began Vash.
"Hi," answered Beverly, not knowing what else to say right now. She really didn't want to talk to this woman for too long; she thought she'd learnt all she was going to the last time they'd had a chat. But since Vash was here, Beverly tried to be civil and they discussed different parts of the galaxy and - of course - Q. Beverly didn't mind the discussion much until Vash said something about Picard. As her hair was being rinsed off, Beverly tensed up. "That'll be all, thanks, Mrs Carlton," she said, hurrying away.
Vash continued having her hair pampered while she considered some of the gossip she'd heard while 'exploring' the ship.
"They're crazy about each other," one crewman had been saying to the other when Vash had stopped just around the corner of the corridor out of sight. "I don't think so," the other had said. "How do you know, anyway?"
"Because, genius, a friend of mine was on the bridge that time when we all got that water intoxication. I swear when they came out of the ready-room they had their heads this far apart." Vash couldn't see the amount the crewman was indicating, but she could certainly imagine. "Dr Crusher had the front of her uniform undone, and the captain, well..." As he had trailed off, Vash had turned the corner and gone on walking, having been given something to think about.
The second time she had been in Ten Forward chatting up a crewman who collected alien artifacts when she had heard the chatter coming from the next table. "It's the way they look at each other, don't you think?"
"Yeah, I guess... But nothing'll ever happen."
"Yeah... he probably still feels guilty over Jack Crusher, and she might think that she'd betray his memory."
"It's something like that," agreed the other one. "But it has to be because they were friends. Otherwise she wouldn't have fallen for the ambassador, remember?"
"And what about the captain and..." Just then, the crewperson had turned around and seen her. And stopped talking. Vash had pretended that she hadn't heard anything, finished her drink and left, leaving poor Lieutenant Matthews sitting there alone.
The third time had been the most difficult to believe, and yet she reflected that, if it were true, it would explain a great many things. She had intruded into someone else's Holodeck program (a park with a great many people dotted here and there) and, pretending to be a Holodeck creation, sat down on the cool grass and listened to the conversation of three crewpeople on a picnic. "I'm telling you," one said to the other two, "I've seen their files and think it's true."
"We're probably jumping to conclusions you know," reflected the secor crewman, "but I think you're right. But we'll never get to find out."
"Can't we do DNA tests?"
"Oh, sure, we wait for the Captain to stroll into Sickbay when Dr Crusher's not there. Then we drug him and steal some of his DNA. Then we summon Wes from Starfleet Academy and do the same to him. No problem."
"Yeah, I guess we can't do it," the third person decided. "But they sure do seem like father and son to me..."
As her hair was completed, Vash was still thinking hard about that question. She also had heard some less articulated ideas from crewpeople, and knew that something had to be going on. And she was damn well going to find out what.
Using her instincts for sniffing out alien artifacts, Vash managed to find out whenever the captain and doctor were anywhere near each other so she could show up as well. Although-Jean-Luc would immediately invite her to join them, she could sense that there was more going on than met the eye. She did notice the way they looked at each other. So it had to be true after all. But that didn't mean she had to sit still for it. Vash determined to test the strength of the pair's ties to each other.
First she pretended to be ill and insinuated herself into Sickbay, where Dr Crusher could not find a thing wrong. "But I don't feel well, Beverly," Vash protested. "Is it your instruments? Or is it you?"
Beverly looked up sharply. "There's nothing wrong with you," was all she said.
"In this day and age, are you so sure about that?"
Beverly Crusher swallowed and decided not to answer. She electeo to give Vash an injection instead - a multivitamin shot. "Ow!" said Vash as the doctor pressured the compund in. Beverly frowned. Having shots with a hypo didn't hurt in the least.
Vash's next idea was to go to the captain's cabin when she knew the doctor was supposed to meet him, and waylay him. It wasn't difficult; the Enterprise's computer was most helpful with her plans. She managed to waylay jean-Luc three times before it occurred to him that she was actually doing it on purpose - not that he was surprised.
One day as Vash was walking along a corridor, in a hurry to find Jean-Luc, she bumped into Wesley. "Oops, sorry," she said.
"Sure," answered the young ensign, walking on.
"I wish that child would stay out of the way," Vash commented when she finally did find Picard. Unknown to her, the doctor had just come into Ten Forward and heard this comment. "Who, Wesley?" answered Picard.
"Why is a child on the ship?"
"He's an Ensign and a member of Starfleet, as you know," Picard said pointedly.
"He's in the way," replied the brunette.
Vash continued to arrive whenever Beverly was trying to do something, or to be alone. It had become a custom on the ship for the captain and doctor to have morning tea together, sometimes in Ten Forward, sometimes in the Ready Room, and sometimes in Sickbay. On the morning they were having it in Sickbay, the doors opened to admit - who else - Vash. "Oops, sorry," she said lightly. "Can I have something for a headache?"
Eventually, Deanna Troi noticed that the ship's chief medical officer was! becoming extremely tense. "It's nothing, really," Beverly Crusher responded at Deanna's gentle prodding.
"It's not nothing. Your work is suffering, and you're spending more and more time alone in your quarters. Is it because Vash is on board?"
What a relief that someone knew. "Yeah," she admitted. "I can't get away from her. I don't know what she's trying to do, but I can't take it anymore. Deanna, he loves her!"
"I don't think it's really love he feels," answered Troi tactfully. "There are... other things involved." At Beverly's long-suffering look she went on, "Why don't you tell the captain?"
"He'd interpret it as jealousy."
"Is he so wrong?"
"Deanna, I don't know! I wonder if I'm not imagining things." But the Counselor knew her crew very well. They didn't start cracking up unless something was really wrong. So Deanna only said, "I do know. It's not you. Think about telling him, all right?"
Crusher nodded. Talking to Deanna always made her feel better. "All right." But she couldn't. It was not the captain's fault, after all. He probably wasn't even aware of it, she thought.
This was true - Jean-Luc Picard only knew that he was enjoying having Vash on board - to a degree. But he did notice that his chief medical officer seemed to be avoiding him. Finally he sought out Wesley for a clue as to why. "Sir, I think it has something to do with you," was Wesley's response. He couldn't say what he was thinking, which was that his mother was crazy about him and hurting to see him with another woman. Lamely, Wesley concluded with, "But I don't know what it has to do with you. Captain."
The 24th century did not have soap operas, but a student of history would have recognised the goings-on quite easily. Picard, unfortunately, did not see what was happening right under his nose. So he said, "All right. Thank you, Wesley."
Wesley watched as Picard went out. He loved the captain as a father figure, but the man could be so dense sometimes.
Picard eventually had no choice but to go straight to Beverly Crusher. Deanna Troi had refused to answer him, saying that if he wanted answers he must go to the person concerned. Beverly merely looked at him through hooded eyes and said, "It's nothing, Jean-Luc. I'm fine."
"Are you certain? What have I done to offend you?"
"Nothing, truly."
But he had seen the look in her eyes when he had asked the question, and knew that whatever was wrong had something to do with him. Picard could be too humble sometimes - it did not occur to him that there could be jealousy involved - especially not on the part of Vash.
And Beverly really did not have anything to be jealous about. He cared for Vash, of that there was no question, but it just could not work. It was over... well as over as it could be for two people who were attracted to each other. The first time he had made love to Vash, he had remembered — but he had put it out of his mind then. And it didn't occur to him to think of it now. He gave up trying to work out what was going on after getting nowhere. He had considered ordering Beverly Crusher to tell him what was going on, but didn't like to do that unless it was a life or death matter.
"Incoming call from Starfleet, Captain. Live transmission." It was about time something was done to stop this mission, which could get boring after a while.
"On the screen, Mr Worf."
An admiral that neither Picard not Riker recognised appeared, looking harrassed. "Enterprise? Admiral Meshril here. I believe you have a passenger named Vash on board?"
"Yes, Admiral," responded Picard immediately.
"We'd like to talk to her about some important information she might have accidentally uncovered on one of her little, er, parties to a restricted planet."
"Certainly, Admiral, we can call..."
"Negative, Captain Picard. We expect you to deliver her to Starbase 172 within five days. And Captain - it's important she arrives safely."
"Understood, Admiral."
"Meshril out."
The screen went back to its starfield pattern, and Picard turned to Riker, frowning. "Whatever she uncovered must be of extreme importance to Starfleet," guessed Riker.
"It wouldn't be the first time, Number One." Then Jean-Luc changed his tack. "I'll go and inform her of our change in plans."
William Riker stood closer to his captain and whispered, "Think she'll agree?"
The look Picard gave him as he stepped into the turbolift was answer enough.
Vash was again in Sickbay, this time taking a much more direct approach to the whole business of captain-catching. "You know he could be happy with me," Vash was remarking to Beverly Crusher.
Crusher was not looking at her, she was only looking down at her instruments. "His command means everything to him," was all she said.
"Yes... but I could find a way to be... around."
As the two women were talking, Picard came into Sickbay, having been informed by the computer as to where his target was. He stopped just out of sight and was slammed into from the back by Crusher Number Two. Both were turning, about to apologise, when they heard Beverly say, very clearly, "Just stop it!" Beverly said, rather loudly. "Stop it! All I want is for him to be happy, so if you'll make him happy, I won't stand in your way. All right?"
"I doubt that you could," was Vash's response. "But tell me one thing... is it true that he and Wesley..."
"Doctor, I have a message for our guest," Picard said, interrupting the proceedings. But all he could think of was what his chief surgeon had said: if she cared that much about him, then he might have misjudged her. And perhaps he was ignoring his own feelings because they were too complicated to deal with. He looked at Vash now. Though she loved him, her interests would always lie somewhere else. That had been a good arrangement once, for his interests had also lain somewhere else - the Enterprise - once. But he had seen a few things since then, and now he realised that he had refused to admit feelings for Beverly which might have jeapordised his own ordered universe.
He turned to Vash. "Starfleet Command wants to see you, about something you might have uncovered."
"I don't think so, Jean-Luc," was the reply. And she winked out before his eyes.
"Dammit, Q, not now!" shouted Picard. He heard her voice echo in his head,
"Oh, don't fret, I'll go but I can wait one day or a thousand years. My travelling companion will see to everything." Then she - and presumably Q - were gone altogether. Picard looked at Beverly, said nothing, then locked eyes knowingly with Wesley. He turned and left Sickbay in a hurry.
Will Riker, Deanna Troi and Wesley Crusher were sitting in Ten Forward discussing Vash's visit. Somehow the conversation got around to the captain and the doctor. All three conspirators decided that enough was enough - the pair needed a push in the right direction. And they came up with the perfect way to do it. Wesley went off to Holodeck Two while Will and Deanna simultaneously went to grab the captain and the doctor.
"I don't know about this, Deanna," Crusher was saying. "I feel fine; I don't need to be pampered by you."
"Come with me to Holodeck Two anyway," coaxed Deanna. "It'll do you good to relax."
"But why do I have to dress up in this outfit?"
The outfit Deanna had chosen for Beverly was stunning. It was a soft, pink material from Vulcan and it fell in folds around her body, accentuating all the right curves. "It will help you to relax if you're dressed appropriately," Deanna said as she fixed a pink carnation in Beverly's hair and stood back to admire her handiwork. Not bad at all, she thought. She just hoped that her friend didn't get suspicious of the seductive way she was dressed. But all Beverly said was, "You have wonderful taste in clothes, you know."
Breathing a mental sigh of relief, Deanna only said, "Thanks."
Will Riker was busy getting Picard to dress up as well. Since he remembered Beverly once saying that Jean-Luc had looked handsome dressed up as Dixon Hill, Riker had persuaded his captain to don the Dixon Hill suit for the evening. "This is totally unnecessary, Number One. I don't feel the need to relax in this way."
"Ah, come on, Captain, it'll do you good to relax in your favourite setting." Riker had told Picard he would be dining out as Dixon Hill on the Holodeck, of course.
"All right, Number One. Stop fussing and let me get to it."
Smiling broadly Riker said, "Yes, Sir!"
Deanna and Beverly got there first. Wesley had just finished adjusting the program when they arrived. He stepped out of the way to let his mother enter. As the Holodeck doors opened, Beverly WAS stunned. The setting was like fairy tale settings of old: a table was arranged on a balcony overlooking a lake, and all around the table were rose bushes in full bloom. A full moon shone overhead and crickets chirped softly in the background. The table was set for two, and just as the doctor turned around to ask what Deanna thought she was doing, Riker arrived with the captain. "What is this, Number One?" Picard had the definite impression that his crew had put one over on him.
"It's a setting to help you relax. Go on in." As Picard went in, he saw how the doctor was dressed and started to ask why they were doing this, but the Holodeck doors closed.
Outside, the computer informed the three conspirators that the override protocol was engaged. What this meant was that Picard and Crusher would not be able to get out of the Holodeck until the conspirators decided to let them out. Normally, the computer would not be able to override a captain who gave it commands, but the boy wonder had of course done some fudging with it. They were well and truly stuck. Riker wondered how long it would take before they realised this.
It didn't take long - Picard imnediately raised his voice and said, "Computer, exit!" so that he could go out and demand to know what his officers were up to. But of course the Holodeck doors remained closed. "Computer, this is the Captain. Override all previous instructions and give me the exit!"
"Exit cannot be provided until Captain Picard has given the password," said the computer.
"What!" But Picard could get no more from the computer. And he could NOT figure out the password, either. "Your son did this," he said to Beverly, turning around angrily.
Beverly Crusher was trying not to smile, though she wasn't succeeding very well. "I know," she said through her smile.
"How long will we have to stay in here?" mused Picard.
Beverly came up and took his arm. "Calm down, Jean-Luc. They've provided dinner for us. Come and join me." Picard was still frowning, but then he came to a decision. It was: don't fight it. He sighed a very LONG sigh. "Very well, Beverly," he said, "let's eat. I don't often get to relax like this." He smiled like the gentleman he was and sat down opposite Beverly.
The computer had provided them with dishes reknowned for their romantic or aphrodisiac effects. As they waded through the first dish (something from Orion with an unpronounceable name), Picard looked at her. She had told Vash in no uncertain terms that what she wanted was for him to be happy. That kind of sentiment took one thing: love. True love is when you care more for someone else than you do for yourself, Picard remembered someone saying. And he knew it for truth.
He asked himself if he'd been happy with Vash. The real answer was: yes. Content. Attracted to her. 'In' love maybe. Happy? He was happy now, part of him thought. And he jerked his head up at that realisation, to find Beverly looking at him.
"Jean-Luc, about today..."
"It was true, wasn't it, Beverly? What you said?"
She swallowed hard. "Yes. But that doesn't mean you have to..."
Picard cut her off. "I'm beginning to think that our friends know us better than we know ourselves." She looked at him, and a shy smile spread over her features. "Jean-Luc, are you - ?"
"I think our officers must have provided us with more than the mere setting." He stood and extended his hand. "Care to dance?"
"Love to." As she got up, the computer began to pipe in very old, very romantic, very appropriate music. Picard whirled Beverly through various old Earth and otherworldly dances. They slowed to a sedate pace with some Rigellian clinches, until the doctor's head was on Picard's shoulder and he was smiling - really smiling with happiness - for the first time in ages.
Beverly finally looked up at him, smiling. "Enjoying youself, Jean-Luc?"
He smiled at her, warmly. Contentedly. Happily. "Very much," he admitted.
The doctor was about to look down, but the captain put one finger under her chin and stopped her. "You are very beautiful, Beverly," he said.
"Thank you, I - "
"We'll thank Commander Riker later," Picard added, kissing her. It was like coming home, somewthing he'd always known, felt, whatever, and he belonged. He knew it was the right move to make in this place and time, and it felt right.
Beverly Crusher stopped all pretense of dancing and put her arms around him. How long they stood on the Holodeck, on the balcony next to the lake, with the full moon and music as background, they didn't know.
"Computer, change to LaForge Program Ten," said Beverly. The lake, tables, moon, balcony disappeared, and they were on the beach, waves lapping at their feet. Beverly drew Jean-Luc to sit at the edge of the water. "I've always wanted to try this program since Geordi told me about it," she whispered.
"It is very beautiful," he replied, leaning over her and kissing her again... and again. "I love you, Beverly," he began - and the Holodeck doors opened.
Luckily there was no one in the corridor at the time. Picard looked at her. Beverly looked at him. He looked at her again, then at the door. And the moment was gone. Picard got up, lifting her to her feet. The doctor put her hands through her hair, getting it back into place, and brushed sand off of herself. She rubbed her eyes and looked at him, serious now. But Jean-Luc did not try to dismiss anything; she could see this in his eyes. Yet she knew that moment could never be repeated. Picard went to the door of the Holodeck. "Good night, Beverly," he said.
Beverly Crusher sat down on the beach by herself and looked out at the scene, realising only then that the music was still playing in the background.
Picard lay in his quarters, looking up at the rapidly passing stars. There were many things he wanted to ask Beverly Crusher: what did Vash want to know so badly about me and Wesley? Why didn't you tell me straight what was wrong? And - would you have stayed with me on the Holodeck all night? He felt she would have, if only he had not stumbled upon the password. Jean-Luc decided he would have to talk to Riker about that, and about the ship's rumour mill which had obviously given Vash some ammunition. But not now. Not knowing that Beverly was still at the lake, wondering some similar things about him, Picard finally slept.
But a woman wearing a pink carnation in her red hair inhabited his dreams.
THE END