Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This is a sequel to Distant Melody. This story probably will make Zero Sense if you haven't read that one. <3 ~Martin

The building on the very edge of the city was perfect. It was small and unassuming, somewhere nobody would think to look for him. He had only brought his tech with him, all of his supplies for building and inventing. There was a bed in the corner. Other than that, and a bit of food, it was empty. But the real reason that he had acquired this particular space was its basement. It was more than twice as large as the building itself, and it made a decent hideout. He had left Team Flash, but that didn’t mean he was going to leave behind life as a superhero entirely.

His old apartment was left practically untouched. His lease would be up in two months anyway, so who cared? And this way, nobody who came looking for him would even be able to tell that he had disappeared voluntarily. As far as they knew, he might just be another one of the dozens of nameless casualties that the New Rogues were creating every month. Even Team Flash wasn’t going to be able to find him.

To tell the truth, Cisco had known that this was coming for a while now. He just didn’t feel at home in S.T.A.R. Labs anymore. And now, having seen the life he would have had with Hartley if Barry hadn’t changed the timeline, he just couldn’t stand to smile and play the part of nerdy, cheerful tech support anymore. So he left. He didn’t say a word to any of his friends, just disappeared overnight.

Now he sat cross-legged on the floor of the basement. His tools and some scrap items were scattered around him, and he tinkered mindlessly without really trying to make something. When he got tired, he didn’t even bother going upstairs. He just curled up on the ground and closed his eyes.

Chapter Text

“Cisco is perfectly capable of taking care of himself,” Barry stated.

Wally didn't seem to agree. “We haven't heard from him in over a week, Barry. I'm worried.”

“Do you think someone took him?” asked Barry.

“It's happened before,” Caitlin pointed out.

“Yeah, and he hasn't been in his apartment for at least a week,” Wally added. He was pacing around the Cortex, almost vibrating with worry. “And he really hasn't been doing well lately, Barr. I mean, for a couple years now, but it got worse this year. Sometime in May, it got so bad...I'm scared for him, Barry. I don't like that we can't find him.”

“Alright,” Barry said. “Okay, let's search for him, then. I'm sure we'll find him.”

Chapter Text

Cisco had his laptop out next to him. The news feed was pulled up, refreshed every couple minutes. He didn't know what he was waiting for, but he'd know it when he saw it. Meanwhile, he was making an improvement to his goggles, making them less likely to overload during a Vibe across multiple dimensions.

He refreshed the news feed, and glanced over at it. His heart skipped a beat, and he gasped. “No,” he muttered. “No, no…”

The article was titled, Shooting at a women’s health clinic. He opened the article, breathing quickly. Two gunmen were involved in a shooting at 12th and Holmeson. Four have been confirmed dead. Dr. Salabha Goodwin, who worked at the clinic, was killed shielding Kylie Shimizu. Shimizu later died en-route to the hospital. A 17-year-old and her 2-year-old son, whose names have not been released, were also killed. The Flash arrived in time to prevent more deaths, and the gunmen have been apprehended.

Cisco covered his mouth with a soft cry. “Kylie,” he whispered. “No...no, Kylie. Oh…” And then a horrible, horrible realization struck him and he began to sob, collapsing to the ground in grief. “No, no! Hope! Oh, god, no…” Most of the details from the other timeline had faded by now, but he could still almost feel the warm weight of the infant in his arms as he sang to her.

And now she would never be born.

Chapter Text

There was only one thought in Cisco’s mind, one thought that had been forefront there for two weeks. He couldn't let this happen again. He had a responsibility to stop it. He was probably the only one who could stop it.

But first, he had to find Celyn. He had spent the two weeks looking for her, hacking security cameras and scanning the city for traces of neon.

Finally, he found her. She was two blocks away from the hospital where Kylie had been pronounced dead, sitting in an alleyway as if she had run as far as she could before collapsing, and then hadn't been able to move afterwards. Cisco watched the security camera for a couple hours. A young man in one of the shops across the street walked over and handed her a sandwich. It seemed as if that wasn't the first time he had done it, though he didn't stay for long. Celyn did not seem to want company. Cisco was going to her anyway.

He covered his head with a hood, and put his new goggles on. The blue of the lenses was gone. They were golden now, and did not glow so brightly.

Staying to the side streets, Cisco wasn't sure if he wanted to avoid any of the New Rogues or to find them and pick a fight. He didn't come across any, however, so it didn't really matter what he wanted.

He found the alleyway. Celyn’s bright purple hair stood out against the gray and black of the dying city. She glanced up from where she sat on the asphalt with her knees to her chest, seeing Cisco. She didn't appear startled. “Are you going to rob me, Mask?” she muttered. “Go ahead. I've got nothing.”

“I'm not here to rob you, or hurt you.”

“You can kill me if you want. Doesn't matter to me.” Celyn spread her arms, inviting Cisco to attack her.

Cisco held his hands up and walked towards her slowly. “I'm not going to hurt you, Celyn.”

She stiffened. “How do you know my name?”

“Let me show you,” Cisco requested. He knelt down in front of her. “I know that you're hurting. I know that Kylie is dead, and your daughter.”

“You know nothing.”

“I know you. I know Kylie, and I know Hope. Knew you. I know you can't remember me, but I can show you,” Cisco said quietly. “And I know how to prevent the person who caused this from doing any more damage like it. Can I show you?”

“What are you talking about?”

Cisco sighed. He took off one of his gloves and held out his hand. “Just let me show you,” he repeated. “Take my hand, Celyn.”

Slowly, Celyn reached out and touched his hand. Cisco pulled them both into a Vibe of everything they did together in the alternate timeline.

She saw the knife enter his shoulder, saw Piper, and fled with Kylie. There was a young girl. She saved her from a group of violent men, but she was being followed afterwards. Piper. Lumen. An offer to join a team, an offer she refused. And then the danger, the threat to Kylie, and she came to them for help. A purple X on black leather. Revealing a bit of herself, learning to trust at least a little.

The pain in her leg, so bad she could hardly focus. But he had been pulled into the mirror, and he was gone, and the anguish on Piper’s face was clear to see. Weeks with Kylie by her side--dear, beautiful Kylie. Living Kylie. And then Kylie gave birth to tiny, beautiful, living Hope Celia, and the infant’s piercing cry filled Celyn’s heart for a brief, exquisite while. Before she had to hand her heart over to the man currently touching her hand, and fled into hiding with Kylie until none of it had ever happened.

Celyn gasped and pulled away from Cisco with tears in her eyes. “She was alive?” she whispered. “Both of them, they lived? In...whatever it is you showed me, they were alive. How?”

“I’m sorry,” Cisco told her. “I’m so sorry I had to show you that, but I need you to understand. That timeline is gone. I’m sorry.”

“Cisco,” she stated. “Your name is Cisco. In this...timeline...we were friends.”

“Yeah, we were friends,” Cisco confirmed.

“But then, where’s...Piper?”

Cisco groaned. “Hard to explain. Um, he doesn’t remember that timeline either, and he doesn’t care about me anymore. But he’s alive still.”

“What is the point of telling me all this?” Celyn asked bluntly. “Can you bring my partner and daughter back from the dead?”

“I can’t. Changing the timeline has so many consequences, ones that you never intend. And I can’t time travel, anyway. Come with me, Celyn, and I’ll explain everything.” Cisco stood up and held out his hand to help Celyn to her feet.

She looked at him suspiciously. “Are you going to show me more if I touch you again? Because I don’t want to see it. It hurts too much.”

“I won’t bring you back there. Please, just come with me.”

After a minute, she took his hand and let him pull her up. She was shaky, like she hadn’t moved in days. She probably hadn’t.

Cisco started to put his arm around her to lead her down the alley, then paused. “Is it okay? I don’t know if...well, I remember more of the timeline than you--I still feel the same connections to the people I made then, but if you don’t--”

Celyn hugged him. “I don’t know exactly what it is,” she mumbled, “but I trust you. I think you are my friend.”

“I’m so sorry about Kylie.” Cisco felt a lump rise in his throat. “And about Hope.”

“You took care of her,” Celyn said. She pulled back to look at him. “You knew my daughter more than I ever will now.”

“We loved her,” Cisco said simply. “We loved her.”

Celyn nodded. Her eyes were shiny. “Where are we going?”

Cisco led her all the way to his Hideout, bringing her into the basement and sitting down across from her on the floor to explain. He took off his goggles and set them aside. For a minute, he didn’t say anything. Then, “You know the Flash?” he started. “Well, he’s my friend. I was Vibe.”

“I figured that out.”

“The Flash has the ability to time travel. It’s limited, it’s not perfect or exact, but...he uses this thing, this energy. It’s called the Speed Force. That’s how he got his powers, and the Speed Force lets him go fast enough that, sometimes, he time travels. He doesn’t do it... often . Because it’s incredibly dangerous. And he shouldn’t use it at all. But he does.” Cisco took a deep breath. “Before I tell you any more, you have to understand. The Flash is one of my best friends. I love him. He’s like a brother to me, and I trust him with...almost anything. But I can’t trust him with time travel.”

“Is he...did he change the timeline? From the one where she is still alive, to this one?” Celyn asked. There was anger in her voice, deep anger.

Cisco hesitated. “He did.”

The purple lights flickered around Celyn’s hand as she clenched it into a fist. She kept the lights in her hand and didn’t let them go, and seemed not to care about the pain it caused her.

“Celyn,” Cisco said softly. “Celyn, let go. Put them on the floor. It’s alright.”

She tried to resist, but she slammed her palm down onto the floor and let it absorb the lights. Small, charred divots were left where her fingers had been. “Keep going,” she said tightly.

“Are you sure?”

“I want to know.”

“It doesn’t always end like this,” he continued. “The first time it happened--that I know about--he saved my life, inadvertently. He didn’t even know that I had died when he time- traveled, and he didn’t mean to do it. He didn’t fully understand his powers at that point. Still, it had its own consequences. I didn’t get my mentor’s...I didn’t have a hand shoved through my chest, but…” Cisco found his hand drifting up to cover his heart, wincing as he tried to push the old memories away. He cleared his throat. “But in the new timeline, my brother and I were tortured and almost killed anyway. And then there was, um...we call it Flashpoint.”

“Flashpoint?” Celyn repeated.

“Yeah, Flashpoint. When...when the Flash was a kid, his mother was murdered in front of him. He traveled back in time to stop it from happening. Eventually, that timeline got reversed anyway, but, um…” Even years later, tears still stung at the corners of his eyes when he talked about it. “Um, when he came back to the restored timeline, it wasn’t exactly as he left it. There’s probably a lot more we don’t know about, but...well, one of our friends suddenly had a baby boy instead of a girl. And another one of our friends got powers that nearly turned her into a killer-- did, in the timeline I showed you. And also...my brother, Dante...he was dead.” Cisco sucked in his breath, trying to hold it together. “He hadn’t been before B--the Flash changed the timeline, but when he came back, Dante had gotten hit by a drunk driver.”

Celyn shook her head. “Shit,” she muttered.

“And, well…” Cisco wiped his eyes quickly. “We all agreed that he couldn’t ever time travel again. But then we needed information from someone who was dead, and so he went back again. It was going to be really controlled, nothing was going to change. And it didn’t really, that time, that we know of, except that Hartley, Pied Piper, stayed with us for a few months. We got the information that we needed, too, and we said we would never, ever do it again because there was also this thing called a Time Wraith--but let’s not get into that.”

“So why did he change it again?”

“Because the love of his life was going to die,” Cisco replied. “And he couldn’t live with that.”

Celyn’s eyes flashed. “Some of us have to,” she spat.

“I know,” Cisco said quickly. “Believe me, I know. Don’t you see, that’s the whole point! Because if you could, wouldn’t you go back in time and save Kylie and Hope?”

“In a heartbeat.”

“But you can’t. And I can’t save my brother, even though I wish I could. God, I wish I could. Consequences be damned, you know? But there’s a reason we can’t,” Cisco said. “Because when the timeline is changed, bad things happen. Saving someone’s life might mean dozens of others dying. But every single time, he’s going to choose to save the person he loves. No promises can change that. Iris was saved, but now Kylie is dead. The doctor who died protecting her, she didn’t die in the other timeline, either. She helped us. And I didn’t know the teenager and her son who were killed, but they lived in the other timeline as well. One of my friend’s kids doesn’t even exist now, baby Rachael. And probably dozens, hundreds of other changes I don’t even know about.”

“So what are we going to do about it?” Celyn asked.

“We can’t do anything about the past,” Cisco answered. “We can only make sure that the Flash never does it again. But I can’t do it alone. Will you help me?”

Celyn nodded slowly. “I’ll help you.”

Cisco held out his hand to shake hers. “To stopping the Flash,” he said, his heart heavy.

“To stopping the Flash,” she echoed.

Chapter Text

The name had been the hardest part.

Vibe had to go, of course. There was no way that Cisco could do this as Vibe. And maybe it was silly, and maybe the name didn’t really matter...but it did matter. Cisco was positive that he was doing the right thing, but that didn’t make betraying Barry any easier. He didn’t think he would be able to handle it if he was still going by the name that Barry had given him.

He redesigned Lumen’s suit. Celyn hadn’t been using her powers like she had in the other timeline, and she hadn’t come up with that name for herself. Cisco told her that it was the name she had gone by in the other timeline. She liked it. While Cisco was working on their suits, she was busy training herself. She had never used her powers for more than tricks and defending herself, so she had a lot of learning to do to catch up to the Lumen that Cisco remembered.

They spent most of their time in the basement. Cisco had sent Celyn out to get some lamps, because the light down there wasn’t good enough for the sewing he had to do. The purple Roman numeral almost glowed under the lights, and Cisco finally set the suit aside with pride.

When Celyn put it on for the first time, she stared at herself in the mirror for several minutes before speaking. “You know, I've had these powers for more than a decade. But I never thought I would actually put on a mask and a name and become someone like this.”

Cisco walked up to stand next to her. “Do you want to leave? I won't make you stay with me. This doesn't have to be your fight.”

She glanced over at him. “But it is my fight. For Kylie. For my daughter. I have to make sure it never happens again.”

“Good, because I don't want to do this alone.”

“What about your suit? I know you've been working on one,” said Celyn.

“I...yeah, it's finished.”

“Can I see it?”

Cisco hesitated, then nodded. “I'll go put it on.”

The new suit was made out of a dark blue, almost black material. It was iridescent if it was hit by light at the right angle. The seams were golden. It was simple and understated, and nothing like the suits he had designed before. That was purposeful. Nobody could have recognized it as his work.

On the left shoulder of the jacket, there was a small golden hourglass. It was filled with tiny blue crystals, and it actually spun. Back and forth, flipping over and over again, never letting all of the crystals be on one side or the other. It was partly just aesthetic, but it had a functional purpose: the crystals were emitting a frequency that changed the color of the vibrational blasts he could make from blue to gold. Anyone from Team Flash would make the immediate assumption that he was a breacher from another Earth, like Cynthia with her red blasts. It was just one more step he had to take to make sure his identity was hidden.

The mask wasn't just a thin stripe across his eyes. It was attached to a cowl and hood like the Flash’s suit, completely covering his hair. Not an inch of his face was bare; the lower half, over his nose and mouth, was made out of a dark, fine mesh. There was a voice modulator built in there which would do an even better job of disguising his voice than Barry did with his vocal cord trick.

“I like it,” Celyn said simply. “What are you going to call yourself?”

Cisco gazed through the golden goggles and looked at himself in the mirror. Even he wouldn't have recognized himself. “I'm doing this because I can see the consequences of past action,” he said finally. “And I know what has to be done to prevent it happening again in the future. And since hindsight is 20/20, and all...”

“You're calling yourself Hindsight?” Lumen asked. She didn't seem to like that very much.

“No, definitely not. That would be kind of lame.” Cisco took a deep breath. “I'm going to be Retrospect.”

Chapter Text

The device was as complete as Cisco could make it without the last piece of the puzzle. To finish it, he would need the target: Barry Allen.

Cisco hated the device. It was designed to disrupt the Speed Force energy in Barry’s cells just enough that his time travel powers were eradicated forever. Of course, there was no way of knowing if it would work perfectly. He couldn’t very well conduct clinical trials, after all. But he calculated a 93% certainly that it would be effective. That wasn’t quite within the margin of acceptable error, but he wasn’t acting as a professional scientist anymore. He was…

Well, what was he? He found himself trying to remember the character tropes from all the comic books he had read. He wasn’t really a supervillain, was he? He didn’t want to hurt anyone. In fact, he refused to hurt anyone in his attempt to prevent Barry from changing the timeline again. Sure, Barry and the rest of the team wouldn’t know that. They would just see another pair of Rogues with some kind of agenda.

But he wasn’t a hero anymore. Heroes didn’t betray their friends, even if it was for the greater good--

Greater good . Now that was a phrase that villains used. Villains, anti-heroes, and...well, anti-villains, usually. Anti-villains used immoral or arguably ‘evil’ methods to attain what was in their mind a noble goal. And if just betraying a friend to change his powers forcibly wouldn’t be considered evil, his backup plan of capturing Barry if a head-on confrontation didn’t work probably would be.

He didn’t want to think about that yet, though. It was a last resort--and nobody was going to get hurt, anyway, even if he did have to use that plan.

First, though, they would just try to take Barry during a fight they would instigate with Team Flash. Cisco had built in the corner of the basement a small room...well, it was a prison. There was no point in trying to make it seem like anything else. It was a prison cell, built so that the only method of entering or exiting had to be a breach. A speedster couldn’t get in or out, Caitlin wouldn’t be able to freeze-shatter it. The whole cell was tuned at a frequency specific to Cisco’s breaches, and only he could change it. There was no way Barry would be able to escape once he was inside.

It wasn’t too awful, as far as prisons went. Cisco hadn’t been able to bear the thought of locking Barry inside a typical cell. He knew it would bring back too many awful memories of DeVoe and everything that happened then. There was a bed, a couple of chairs and a table, a toilet behind a screen, and a small bookshelf with books and a couple sets of playing cards. Cisco did a few final checks, and it was ready for an occupant.

He went upstairs, where Celyn was on her laptop. “Suit up,” he said.

“We’re doing it today?”

“No time like the present, and everything is ready.” Cisco looked her in the eye. “I don’t want to put it off any longer.”

They suited up.

To lure Team Flash out into the fight, they had to cause a disturbance. Lumen would be there first, and Cisco would join after Barry showed up.

Cisco breached them both into a spot in the center of town. Celyn was about to step out of the shadows and start, but Cisco grabbed her arm, suddenly worried. He pulled his mask off to look her in the eye. “Celyn, remember. We're not going to hurt them, any of them. I know...I know you're angry, but just remember...this isn't revenge.”

“It's not revenge,” Celyn echoed. “I know, Cisco, don't worry. I know what we're doing. I won't forget it.”

Cisco nodded, and put his mask back on. “Okay, then. Go.” He turned on his voice modulator as Celyn stepped out into the street and shot a blast of lights down that cut a deep gouge in the street. There were screams.

“Where are you, Flash?” she called loudly. “Come on out!”

“Their response time should be less than a minute and a half,” Cisco murmured into their comms. “Keep using your lights, but don't target the buildings. We don't want to hurt the people who are just trying to live their lives.”

Celyn nodded to acknowledge him, and targeted a bench in the small park on one side of the street. She split it in half. A child had been hiding behind it, and he let out a wail and ran blindly away. Celyn flinched.

“Stay alert, Lumen,” Cisco said quickly. “Don't get distracted. They'll be here any second, and we don't want them to take you back to S.T.A.R. Labs and put you in the pipeline.”

“I know,” she replied.

Just then, a blur of yellow lightning swept into the scene. Barry and Caitlin were standing there as the Flash and Frost. “You called us?” Barry said.

“I'm moving now,” Cisco told Celyn, and he leapt out and sent a vibrational blast at Caitlin. She was knocked out of the way, and lay on the ground stunned. I'm sorry, Caitlin, he thought.

Barry ran at him, but Cisco opened a breach and jumped several feet behind the speedster. Barry turned around and stared at him. “You're a breacher!” he exclaimed. “Who…”

Cisco said nothing. He aimed a blast from each hand, one at where Barry was currently standing and one at where he thought Barry would run to. Barry dodged one of the streams of energy and was grazed by the other one. He tumbled to the ground, yelping.

Cisco rushed to stand over him and was about to knock him out with another blast, but he hesitated. Barry was clutching at his side, his face pained. He looked up at Cisco with a hint of fear, and Cisco couldn't bring himself to do it.

“Retrospect, hurry up!” Lumen cried.

“Retrospect, is that what you're called?” Barry said. “You're a breacher. What Earth are you from?” He made a move as if to stand up, but Cisco pushed him back down. He still didn't knock him unconscious, though.

Cisco was aware that Celyn and Caitlin were fighting behind them. He tried to make himself take Barry and breach out, but he didn't do it.

“Did you…” Barry’s eyes widened underneath his mask. “Vibe. He's missing. Did you take him?”

Panicking, Cisco stepped back.

“What do you want?” Barry asked. “What are you doing here?”

Celyn screamed. “Retrospect!”

Cisco turned. Celyn was on the ground, her arm cradled against her chest. She shot a light at Caitlin, who blocked it with a sheet of ice. It was split in half, and it fell to the ground and shattered.

The momentary distraction let Barry rush to his feet and grab Cisco, pinning him up against the side of a nearby building. “Who are you?” Barry demanded.

Unable to breathe with Barry’s arm pressed against his throat, Cisco struggled to free one hand and opened a breach right underneath himself. The other side opened right next to Celyn. Cisco kept it open as he hauled her to her feet and pulled her into the breach. They fell through the other side into the basement of the Hideout and the breach closed.

“Ow, ow, ow,” Celyn panted. She collapsed against a chair. A rip in her sleeve was giving off some sort of steam.

Cisco caught his breath and tossed his mask away, going to his partner’s side. “What happened? Let me see.”

She held her arm out, wincing. “Her ice, it…”

“Take your jacket off, let me see.” Cisco took her jacket and tossed it and his gloves aside. “Oh...wow. Okay. Okay, we can handle this.” He placed his hands over the swath of frozen, burned skin on Celyn’s arm. It was still cold.

“God, that hurts,” she groaned. “I can’t feel most of it, but what I can feel…”

“Yeah, I know. You’re lucky, Celyn. It’s not too bad, you’ll be alright. I’ll be right back.” Cisco helped her up off the floor and into the chair that Celyn had been leaning against. She closed her eyes. When Cisco returned with a bowl of warm water and some bandages, Celyn was mumbling to herself.

“Kylie...I'm sorry, Kylie.”

“Hey,” Cisco said softly. He took her hand. “Celyn?”

“I...I want Kylie.”

“Celyn, Kylie…she's…” Cisco said hesitantly.

“I fucking know , Cisco,” she snapped. She opened her eyes to glare at him tearfully.

“Sorry,” he murmured. “Here, give me your arm. You’ll be alright.” He bandaged her arm as quickly as he could while she directed an angry gaze up at the ceiling.

“Well, we failed,” she said. “We were supposed to get him today. Clearly we didn’t. You said you had a backup plan that you were positive would work, but you didn’t want to unless we didn’t have any other choice. I think we’re there.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Cisco fiddled with his hands, avoiding the unspoken question.

Celyn adjusted her arm and winced as she leaned forward. “Cisco. To carry out this Plan B of yours, you have to tell me what the plan is .”

“I think we should try a direct attack one more time before we go there,” Cisco tried.

“And I think that I don’t want to get something frozen off by your friend Elsa,” retorted Celyn.

“That movie hasn’t been relevant in years.”

“Do I look like I give a shit about what movies are relevant?” said Celyn. “What’s the fucking plan, Cisco?”

Cisco gave up, and told her the plan.

Chapter Text

The Vibe goggles felt strange on his face now. They were lighter than the ones he wore as Retrospect. But it was necessary to carry out this plan that he look like Vibe again.

Cisco knew Barry. He knew his best friend better than almost anyone else did, except maybe Iris and Joe. He knew that Barry would be able to fight him off if he didn’t know it was Cisco he was fighting. Sure, Cisco could probably completely shatter Barry with his powers. In an all out fight, Cisco would win. There was no question about that.

The problem was, Cisco also knew he would always hesitate when it came down to it. He couldn’t really defeat Barry in a fight because he was afraid of hurting him. So an actual fight wasn’t going to work, and Barry wouldn’t go down without a fight. Plenty of people had tried to capture him before. But without a fight, Cisco had the advantage. Because he knew Barry, and he knew exactly what would make Barry willingly turn himself over to Retrospect, though it made him sick to the stomach to think about it. It was the best way.

And so he found himself in the dark hallway of Barry and Iris’s house at 3 in the morning, dressed as Vibe, his face exposed. He stepped into the small bedroom where the twins slept.

As he had guessed, there was a small security camera set up in the corner of the room. He lifted his goggles and looked directly into the camera. “I’m sorry, Barry, Iris,” he whispered. “I didn’t have a choice.” And then he went over to the two twin beds.

One was empty. Dawn seemed to have crept out of her own bed to curl up next to her brother. Cisco took a deep breath and touched the child’s shoulder gently.

“Nora-Dawn,” he breathed. “Dawn, wake up, sweetheart.”

She blinked awake. “Uncle Cisco?” she said, too loudly.

Cisco winced. “Shhh,” he said. “You’ve got to be quiet, okay?”

“Whatcha doing here, Uncle Cisco?” she said in an exaggerated whisper. “Do Momma and Daddy know?”

“You and your brother have to come with me for a little while. Come here.” Cisco didn’t bother waking Don up, just lifted the young boy into his arms. “Come on, we’ve got to go.”

Dawn got to her feet, grabbing a blanket to wrap around her shoulders. “Where are we going?”

“I’ll explain later, honey. But you’ll be back here very soon, I’m sure of it.” Cisco glanced over at the camera again. I’m sorry , he mouthed, and opened up a breach. He landed inside the prison that he had built for Barry. The twins wouldn’t be able to speed their way out, either.

Don was waking up as Cisco set him down on the bed in the cell. “Where are we?” he mumbled sleepily.

“It’s okay, buddy, go back to sleep.” Cisco turned to Dawn, who was gazing around with big eyes. “You, too, Dawn. Everything is fine, and you’re both safe. I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.”

“But why are we here?” Dawn asked plaintively. She walked away from where the breach had disappeared and put her small hands against the carbine infused glass, leaving tiny smudged fingerprints. “ Where is here? Uncle Cisco, I’m scared. I want to go home. I want Momma.”

“Your dad is going to come get you really soon,” said Cisco. “In the meantime, I promise that I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Okay?”

She hesitated, then nodded. “Okay,” she whispered. Her bottom lip trembled and she held her arms up.

“Alright, good. Come here, sweetheart.” Cisco picked her up and sat down with her on the edge of the bed. Don stirred, but had fallen back asleep and didn’t wake up. “It’s still the middle of the night,” Cisco told Dawn quietly. “Think you can go back to sleep for me?”

“Yeah,” she replied. “But Daddy sits with us and sings to us ‘til we go to sleep. Will you stay, Uncle Cisco?”

Cisco swallowed. “Sure thing, niñita .” He rocked side to side with Dawn in his arms, and started to sing the song that had been in his head since he had touched Hartley in May. “Once upon a time, and long ago…” He got through the song once. Dawn was nearly asleep, so he started over again. He only got a few words into the song before his voice broke. There was a lump in his throat that made singing too painful.

“Are you okay?” Dawn asked sweetly, hardly awake. “Don't cry, it'll be okay!”

“I know, niñita . Go to sleep, hush.” Cisco laid her down on the bed next to her brother. “Goodnight.” He sniffed and wiped his eyes.

Dawn curled up on her side as Cisco placed a soft blanket over her. The young girl was asleep very quickly, to Cisco’s relief. He opened a small breach in the floor and left the secure room. Standing on the other side of the glass in the basement, Cisco's chest ached to see the twins trapped in the cell.

It won't be for very long , he tried to remind himself. But it didn't help. He had still trapped two four-year-olds inside a small room after kidnapping them away from their parents. It didn't matter that Cisco knew without a doubt that his goal was the right thing to do. He felt sick and dirty and horrible.

Now to draft the ransom message.

Chapter Text

Barry had been shaking with harsh sobs all morning. He felt like something had been torn up inside of him. It was some of the worst pain he had ever felt, and he had known a lot of pain in his lifetime.

“I just searched everything again,” Wally said, skidding into the Lab with a crackle of electricity. “Nothing. I'm so sorry, Barr, I…”

“I know,” Barry said hoarsely, though he was starting to cry afresh. “They could b-be anywhere on the planet, or on any other Earth in the multiverse.”

Iris and Caitlin came over into the room that Barry was sitting in. “I went over the footage again,” Caitlin announced. “Nothing. But Cisco...he seemed certain that the twins would be back here soon, and that they wouldn't be hurt. He knew we would see the footage, that was for our benefit more than the kids’.”

Barry buried his face in his arms, sobbing brokenly. “I kn-know. S-sorry, guys, I need...I need a minute.”

“Babe…” Iris sighed. She sat down next to him on the floor and pulled him into her arms. How she was holding herself together so well, Barry had no idea. “We're all scared, worried. But if we don't focus, we may never find Nora-Dawn and Don, and Cisco. Retrospect needs to be stopped. And we can't do that with you out of commission.”

“Iris, our babies are missing,” Barry whimpered. “They're missing .”

“I know, babe.”

“I can't, I can't bear it.”

Iris hugged him tighter. “Barry, honey, you're gonna make me cry too, and I can't do that right now. The twins need us to be strong.”

“Guys,” Wally said softly. “Joe just texted me. The search through the police has gotten nowhere. He's coming back here.”

“When are you going to get Ollie?” asked Iris, remaining calm.

Wally hesitated. “I don't think he's coming. He's... busy .”

“Busy?”

“I don't know, he just said...he was sorry, but that he couldn't come. And I can't locate Felicity, or anyone else on Team Arrow. I think Felicity hid them away from Oliver.”

“How long is that stupid feud gonna last?” Barry spat. “Don't they understand that we need them? This is more important than that!”

“I know, Barr.” Wally shrugged. “But he won't even answer my calls now. I can't show up unannounced, he probably has tech set up to stop speedsters.”

“Guess we’re on our own,” said Iris quickly. She stood up. “I'll see if I can find anything out about Retrospect. I have some information from other Earths, stuff that Cisco had compiled with Cynthia's help ages ago.”

“I'll keep going over the footage,” Caitlin sighed. “Wally?”

“I'm gonna search again,” Wally said, darting off.

“Barr?” Iris murmured. “Can you help with anything?”

Barry stood up shakily. He was trembling so much that he was practically vibrating, and he nearly fell over. “Sure. What..what do I do?” He couldn't clear his head enough to think for himself.

Iris took a deep breath. “Go with Caitlin. Have her pull up maps of Vibe energy signatures, look for anything unusual.”

“Yep.” Barry made it a few steps before his legs gave out. Iris caught him and held him close.

“It's gonna be okay,” Iris whispered vehemently. “We will get our babies back, and they will be alright. We'll rescue Cisco, too. I promise.”

That gave Barry enough strength to walk the rest of the way to the monitors to do his job. I'll find you , he mentally promised the twins. I will do anything to keep you safe.

Chapter Text

The video message was ready to be sent. Cisco’s hands were shaking as he pressed play to watch it one final time before sending it.

“Barry Allen,” Retrospect said. He was fully masked in the video, his voice changed into something wholly unrecognizable from Cisco's. It was a completely new voice, not a modifier, so no soundwave analysis could reveal who was behind the words. “I have your children. They are not harmed, and they will not be harmed.”

A video clip of Dawn and Don playing on the floor of the cell was inserted as proof before Retrospect continued talking.

“In exchange for the safe return of these two children, you, Barry Allen, the Flash, will surrender yourself to me. We will meet at precisely the time and coordinates embedded into this video message. You are permitted one member of your team to accompany you to the meeting site to receive the children. Your other teammates will remain at least one kilometer away. You will be wearing the meta-human power dampening handcuffs that Francisco Ramon has told me all about, and the handcuffs will be powered on. You will not attempt to escape. These terms are non-negotiable, and you will not be able to contact me before our meeting time.”

There was another video of the twins, waving at the camera. Cisco's reflection could be seen in the glass, and he mouthed I'm sorry .

“Any attempts to fight back will be met with retaliation from me. Your teammate Ramon has been willing to reveal your tricks and weaknesses. I am more powerful than you. If you want your children returned, Barry Allen, you will do what I say.” Retrospect paused. “I trust you understand my terms.”

The video ended.

Cisco took a deep, shaky breath. The video was perfect. There was no use delaying it. The meeting would take place in just under two days, enough time for Team Flash to understand that they had no other option but to do what Retrospect wanted.

Barry would agree immediately, of course. Iris would hate it, but would agree as well. And once Iris agreed, it would be over. Caitlin and Wally and Joe would try everything they could think of to find a way around Barry having to give himself up, but eventually they would see that they had no other choice.

And Barry would choose Caitlin (or Wally, but probably Caitlin) to accompany him. He wouldn't let Iris or Joe be so close to danger, and it would most likely go unspoken that if this was a trap, Wally needed to remain behind as the only other speedster on the team. So, Caitlin. Retrospect would let the twins go to Caitlin, and would breach himself and Barry into the cell, then breach himself out. It would be simple.

He pressed the key that would send the video. It was designed to be untraceable, bounced off several satellites before destroying the original connection to this location and ultimately sending only from the STAR Labs satellite itself.

Two seconds later, and Cisco entered into a Vibe. He went to STAR Labs. He could see the video popping up on all the screens, watched as the team members all gazed in shock at the message that was being given. Cisco saw Barry burst into tears at the sight of his children, and saw the tears in Iris's eyes as well as she reached out to hold Barry's hand.

The video was over. Cisco stayed in the vision.

“I'm going,” Barry said.

“No--Barr, it's a trap. It has to be,” Joe countered.

“I don't care.”

Wally winced. “Barr, I think we should talk about this.”

“No, look!” shouted Barry. “I am not going to operate assuming it is a trap, not when giving myself up means getting the twins home safely!”

Iris was shivering, squeezing Barry's hand. “Guys...I...I think Barry is right.”

“You can't seriously think Barry should just let himself get taken?” asked Caitlin.

“That's exactly what I'm going to do,” Barry insisted. “My life for the twins’. It isn't even a decision, guys. They're my kids, they're our kids. I don't care if it's a trap as long as the kids are safe.”

“We can rescue Barry and Cisco later,” Iris agreed. “But Nora-Dawn and Don are our first priority as their parents. If you guys aren't in, Barry and I will do it ourselves.”

Cisco gasped for air, stumbling backwards and almost collapsing. He didn't usually stay in present-Vibes for that long, and could feel a headache coming on. Leaving his computers, he went over to Celyn’s room. “It's sent,” he said softly.

Celyn was lying on her back on the mattress she used, eyes closed. “Are they going to come?”

“Yes. Without a doubt. Thank you,” Cisco said. “I wouldn't be able to do this alone.”

“How are the kids?” asked Celyn.

“I checked on them an hour ago. They were reading the picture books I left them. Dawn asked me when they were going to see their parents again.” Cisco crossed his arms tightly across his chest, trying to stop himself from showing how upset he was. “How are you doing?”

“Just grand,” Celyn said sarcastically.

“I figured.”

“Glad to have a purpose again,” she added more seriously, finally opening her eyes and looking at him. “We're doing the right thing, Cisco. Nobody else needs to suffer like we have because someone else has too much power.”

“I know.” Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Cisco added, “I think I'm going down to be with the twins for a while. I need a nap.”

“Good thinking. I will...continue to lay here and think,” Celyn said.

“What are you thinking about?” Cisco couldn't help but ask.

“Kylie.”

“Oh.” Cisco bit his lip. “Celyn, I'm so...I'm so sorry. If I had remembered that it was going to happen, I would have been there. But it wasn't something I remembered until after it happened, and...I was too late. I'm sorry.”

“It was not your fault,” Celyn murmured. “It was the shooters’ fault, and the Flash's fault, and my fault.”

“It wasn't your--”

“I was there. I have powers. I didn't save her,” Celyn said simply. “I know that the gunman is most to blame, but I didn't do enough to save her.”

“I'm sorry,” Cisco whispered again. He didn't know what else to say, so he turned and walked down into the basement. “Hey, kids, how are you doing?” he asked the twins as cheerfully as he could.

“Can we have some crayons and paper?” Don asked, looking up at Cisco hopefully.

“Of course, anything,” Cisco said immediately. “I'll be right back. How about you, niñita ?”

“I want to go home,” Dawn said softly.

“Oh, Dawn, I'm sorry. Very soon, I promise.” Cisco pressed his hand to the glass. “I promise,” he repeated. “And in the meantime, I promise that nothing is gonna hurt you, okay? You...you tell your parents that, please, when you see them again. I would never, ever let anything hurt you.”

“We know, Uncle Cisco,” Dawn said. She sniffled. “I just miss Momma and Daddy.”

“So soon, baby girl. Alright, I'm going to go get crayons. Any specific color requests?” Cisco asked, trying to smile.

“Shiny ones!” Don requested.

“Metallic crayons it is. Be right back.” Cisco breached to an alley behind a crafts store, headed inside, and bought the crayons and some construction paper with cash. His face was hidden behind a hood and with sunglasses. He knew how to avoid facial recognition software, and he knew that Team Flash was probably looking for him.

The twins appreciated the crayons and took to drawing stick figure scribbles. Cisco watched them fondly for a minute before he sat down in the corner and closed his eyes. He was so tired. Because of lack of sleep, yes, but he was also just tired of holding his best friends’ children hostage.

Someday, it was going to pay off. The timeline would stay exactly as it should be, and nobody else would have to die who wasn't supposed to. Cisco was doing good.

Chapter Text

Barry sat with his head in his hands. Every few minutes, he would look up and stare at the clock, counting down until the time that the exchange would take place. As a speedster, time seemed to pass too slowly already. But this? This was agony.

What if Retrospect had lied, and the twins weren't unharmed? What if--

No, Barry couldn't think about that. He would do anything to protect them. Anything. The Speed Force crackled in his mind as he thought about what he would do to save his family.

“Barr?” Joe said. He had stepped into the room without Barry noticing, and was holding out his hand. “Barr, we're going to go over the plan again. How are you holding up, son?”

“Good,” Barry said, clearing his throat. “Yeah, no, I'm doing okay.”

Joe raised his eyebrows. “Could've fooled me.”

Barry stood up, ignoring Joe's hand. “You still want to talk me out of it?” he asked.

“Barr, you and I both know that I can't talk you out of anything if you've made up your mind,” sighed Joe. “You or Iris. You're even more stubborn than I am, and that's saying something.”

“I just--” Barry's voice broke. “I don't see another way out of this, Joe, I don't...they're my kids .”

“Oh, believe me, Barr, I get it. I really, really do. I'd give myself up in a heartbeat if I was who Retrospect was asking for. But I'm not. You are.” Joe grasped Barry's shoulder tightly. “And I want you to promise me, that you'll do your best to bring my kid back safe. I'll make sure Iris and the twins are alright, but you look after you.”

Barry nodded, trying to wipe away his tears before they fell. “Joe? What...what do you think he's doing to Cisco? He has to be doing something horrible to him, for Cisco to be going along with it.”

“I don't know, Barr,” Joe admitted. “But Cisco is strong. We'll get him back. And we'll get you back, too.”

“Okay,” Barry said. He closed his eyes for a second. “Okay, I'm ready to go over the plan again.”

Joe put his arm around Barry's shoulders and led him into the other room.

Barry appreciated that Joe stayed right next to him while they talked through the plan one last time. Iris was talking and pointing to the computer screens, laying out exactly where Caitlin would stand to take the twins and where Wally would be waiting to run in and bring them all back to the lab once Barry and Retrospect had disappeared.

“Here are the meta-human cuffs,” Caitlin added, coming forward and clipping them onto one of Barry's hands. “They’re in complete working order, to Retrospect's specifications. He says he'll know if they're tampered with, and under the circumstances, I'd rather believe him than test him.”

Barry shivered at the feeling of cold metal against his wrist. “Thanks, Cait,” he said.

“Don't worry, man, we'll get you home safe,” Wally told him. “The twins, and you, and Cisco. And whatever Retrospect is planning, we'll beat him. We've always done it before, right?”

Barry tried to hold onto Wally's confidence. “Right,” he said.

“Frost and I are ready to go if Retrospect tries something other than what we agreed to,” Caitlin said. “Don't worry, Barry. We've got your back.”

“Barry?” Iris stepped towards him. Her eyes were shiny. “It's almost time to go.”

“I know.”

“Nora-Dawn and Don are going to be fine,” Iris said. “I can feel it. They're okay.” She breathed deeply. “And you will be, too.”

Barry stood still as she pulled him close, burying her face in his chest. Slowly, he bent his head down to press a kiss to the top of her head. “I'll be okay, Iris,” he promised.

“I know you will.” She shuddered, squeezing him tighter. “But still, please...be careful. I love you, Barry.”

“I love you,” he echoed. He didn't want to let go. “I love you. And tell the twins that I love them, please, if...if I don't have the chance?”

“I will,” Iris assured him. She was trying not to cry, Barry could tell. “I love you.” She pulled back enough to tug Barry down gently so she could kiss him. “Be safe, my love.”

“You, too.”

“Time to go,” Wally said regretfully. He took Caitlin's arm gently. “Run with me. I'll put the cuffs on when we get there.”

Grateful, Barry nodded. He kissed Iris one last time and together, he and Wally took off running.

The empty lot behind a building that Retrospect had given them coordinates to seemed entirely anticlimactic. The sun was peeking through clouds and pollution, and brown grass and trash covered the ground. Barry felt the cuffs on his wrists click, and Wally disappeared in whirl of lightning.

“Any second now,” Caitlin said, pushing her hair back from her face. “I've got Iris on comms, Barry, she says...she'll see you soon. She promises.”

Before Barry could answer, a molten gold breach opened up right in front of him. Even though Barry couldn't use his powers, time seemed to slow down as Retrospect came out of the breach, holding one twin in each hand. The twins looked delighted for a brief moment to see their father as Caitlin gathered them close.

And then Barry was pulled into the breach and tumbled down onto a soft carpeted floor. His cuffs were being removed as he tried to get his bearings, and another golden glow blinded him briefly. When he blinked his eyes open, getting rid of the imprint of the golden light on his retinas which appeared dark blue in his vision, he saw Retrospect standing on the other side of a glass wall.

“What do you want from me?” Barry asked, scrambling to his feet. “Are you going to kill me? Try to steal my powers? Listen, whatever you're planning...just tell me, please. Who are you?”

Retrospect said nothing.

“Okay, where's Cisco? You have my best friend, have you hurt him?” Barry pleaded, desperate for any information. “Can I see him? Please!”

“Make yourself comfortable,” Retrospect said. The unfamiliar, mechanical voice made Barry shiver. “And I'm not going to kill you, Barry Allen. I'm just putting things right. Get some rest. There's plenty of food in there. Your family is safe, and you'll see them soon.” He turned and walked away.

Barry banged his hand on the glass, wincing at the pain that spiked up his wrist. “Hey! Putting what right? What are you going to do to me? Hey! Retrospect!” But it seemed as if Retrospect wasn't going to answer him.

After testing every inch of the walls, Barry figured out that there wasn't any way out of the cell. His speed also didn't work in here, despite the fact that he was no longer wearing the handcuffs.

It didn't resemble a typical prison cell. It was a small room, with a comfortable looking bed and a table with chairs. The rug was a soft blue, and there was a bookshelf with books and games and puzzles. Though nothing could have made him comfortable with this situation, it certainly seemed like whoever had designed this place hadn't wanted him to be uncomfortable. He wondered if Cisco, wherever he was and whatever had happened to him, had something to do with that.

Barry sat down on the bed, rubbing his eyes. He didn't want to let his guard down, but he hadn't slept since the twins had gone missing. Now that they were home safely, as far as he knew, he didn't have anything more to do than to lay down and rest.

The pillows were soft, and so were the sheets. His eyes widened as he recognized one of the blankets--that was Nora-Dawn's star patterned blanket. Barry remembered that on the security footage from the bedroom, he had seen Dawn grab it before Cisco had breached them away. The twins must have stayed in this room while they were being held captive.

At least they weren't tied up in a cold, dark cell, Barry said as he gathered the small blanket to his chest. He was glad to have the little token, though he knew Dawn would miss it. Maybe she had left it there on purpose, knowing somehow that her dad would need it more than she would in the coming days.

Iris had her children curled up on her lap, holding them both so tightly that they wouldn't be able to squirm away if they wanted to--which they clearly didn't. Nora-Dawn's arms were wrapped as far around her mother's torso as they could reach, and Don had curled into a ball and hid his face in Iris's stomach. “I've got you, babies,” she murmured. “You're safe now, I'm here.”

Once Don had stopped shaking and crying into his mother's shirt, he raised his head and wiped his nose. “Where's Daddy?” he asked.

“He had to go somewhere, so you could come home. But he'll be back soon.” Iris stroked her son's hair.

Joe was carrying a blanket over to put around Iris's shoulders. He knelt down next to her and hugged her and the twins. “That's right, kiddos, your daddy will be home soon. For right now, let's get all three of you set up in the room you're gonna be staying in for a while.”

“Just a minute,” Iris said. Since Retrospect had reached them in their own home through Cisco, they had decided it would be safer for her and the twins to stay in STAR Labs for a while. It would still be possible for Retrospect to get at them if he wanted to, but the Lab was easier to defend than the loft. She kissed both of the twins on their forehead and stood up with a little difficulty, one child in each arm.

“Let me, baby girl,” Joe murmured. He took Don carefully as soon as Iris was ready to relinquish him. “Hey, there, Donnie-boy. Let's go to that room, and then get some snacks. Are you hungry?”

Don shook his head.

“Not hungry?” Joe asked.

“Nuh-uh, Uncle Cisco brought us food,” Don said.

Iris and Joe exchanged glances as they carried the twins into the other room and placed them down on the bed. “Was Uncle Cisco there often?” Iris asked them.

“Uh-huh,” said Dawn. “Lots of the time. Said he wouldn't let anything happen to us. But sometimes the time-sand man was there, and we didn't like him.”

“Time sand… the hourglass on Retrospect's shirt,” Iris realized. “Okay, sweetheart. Did Uncle Cisco ask you to tell me anything? Anything at all you can remember might help us get Daddy home sooner.”

“He said to tell you that he woulda never ever let anything bad happen to us,” Don recalled. “And he got us crayons to draw with, and whatever food we wanted.”

Iris wiped her eyes. “Was he okay? Did Uncle Cisco seem hurt, or scared?”

“He yawned a lot,” Dawn said. “I think he was tired. But he would sing to us when we wanted to sleep.”

“Okay,” Iris said softly. “I'm glad he was looking out for you.” Oh, god, I hope he's alright. I need to thank him. “I think we're gonna rest now, okay? Mamma's really tired, because I've been so worried about you two. Now that I've got you back, I think I want to take a nap. Will you stay here with me?”

Dawn nodded and climbed into her lap, Don following close after. Iris kicked her shoes off and laid down, the twins curling up on either side of her.

“I'll stay close,” Joe told her. He arranged the blanket over her. “Don't you worry, baby girl. Me and Cait and Wally will make sure you three are safe.”

“And look for Barry,” Iris said, struggling to keep her eyes open.

“And look for Barry,” agreed Joe. “But you go to sleep now.”

Iris nodded. She pulled the twins closer and closed her eyes.

Chapter Text

“It's almost been 24 hours,” Celyn said. “You need to go down there.”

Cisco groaned loudly. “I know, okay? I know! I just...it's not easy for me to see him, to know that he's looking at me like just another evil supervillain when he used to look at me as his best friend.”

“Cisco.” Celyn’s voice was firm. “Go down there and do what you need to do, or I will go down there for you.”

“No, no, that wouldn't be good. Fine. Fine.” Cisco ran his hands through his hair anxiously. “I'll go put the Retrospect stuff on. And I need to take some blood samples from him, I might have to use the...the airborne knockout drug I put into the cell, ‘cause I really don't want to deal with him being awake and fighting when Retrospect sticks a needle into him. He asks a lot of questions, even if I restrain him, and I just...don't want to have to ignore or answer him.”

“So do it,” Celyn stated. “Just go. Stop stalling.”

“I'm going, I'm going!” Cisco left Celyn's room and changed into the Retrospect suit in the tech room where the computers and inventions were kept. He checked the monitors with the constant stream of footage from the cell. Barry was sleeping: or at least laying down on the bed with his eyes closed. He hadn't moved much other than to go to the bathroom a few times and to get water from the meals that Cisco had breached onto the table. And he kept holding onto the little starry blanket that Dawn had brought, hardly ever letting go of it.

As Cisco watched, Barry sat up and stretched. He reached for the water glass on the table and took a few sips before putting it back down. Cisco reached for the switch that would spray a knockout drug into the cell. It wouldn't cause any lasting damage, of course, and would only keep Barry out for maybe two minutes after the switch was turned back off. But Cisco needed to run experiments on a sample of Barry's blood before he risked using the device he had built to remove some of Barry's ability to harness the Speed Force on Barry himself.

Cisco flipped the switch. He watched as Barry looked up, realizing that something was flooding into his air. He tried to cover his nose and mouth, but soon collapsed backwards onto the bed. After a few more seconds, Cisco turned the switch off and breached into the cell carrying the syringe and vials that he would use to take the sample he needed.

Barry's eyelids were fluttering. He didn't move as Cisco took his arm gently and slid the needle into his vein. He took three vials of blood before removing the needle and taping a cotton ball onto the prick. It only took a minute, but Barry was waking up. Cisco took a second to pick up Dawn's blanket from where it had fallen onto the ground, placing it into Barry's hand, and then breached back to the tech room.

Barry was sitting up again as Cisco looked at the monitors. He was rubbing his head slowly and blinking, trying to wake up. When he caught a glimpse of the cotton ball taped to his arm, he stiffened. He tore it off and examined the needle-mark. When he couldn't figure out what had happened, he let out a cry of frustration and hit the wall with his palm.

Cisco winced, but he knew that Barry was going to be fine. Part of him wanted to rush back down there, just as Cisco, to talk to Barry and try to reassure him. To pretend that Retrospect had him captured as well and was forcing him to play along, that Retrospect was threatening him or his family. The thing was, Barry would understand . He would immediately forgive Cisco and reassure him in return. And Cisco wouldn't be able to bear it.

Instead, he started running the tests on Barry's blood. He tested for the amount of Speed Force energy that the cells could harness, watching through a high speed microscope as the cells buzzed and then slowed down ever so slightly when he zapped them with the device he had built. He ran the same experiment ten times, and got the same result each time. Just enough Speed Force energy was sapped that Barry wouldn't be able to open a portal to the future or the past, but wouldn't affect his speed in any significant way.

To test it enough times to feel safe using it on Barry, he would need more blood. But that would have to wait until tomorrow. The speed-dampening field inside the cell held Barry's healing capabilities at a level roughly the same as a non-speedster. Cisco didn't want to take more blood from Barry today, especially because he wasn't eating enough. Maybe he would have to talk to Barry to get him to eat.

“No, no...I've gotta stop trying to find excuses to talk to him,” Cisco muttered to himself. “It's better if they never see me again. They'll never...never see me again.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Celyn curiously.

Cisco jumped, whirling around. “You!...You startled me, shit.”

“Sorry.” She shrugged. “How is everything going?”

“I ran a whole bunch of tests on Barry's blood. The device works, I'm almost positive of it. I want to test it again tomorrow, just to have a few more data points, I'll be able to do the real thing the day after. And then he can go home, and I can…” Cisco hadn't exactly figured out what he was going to do afterwards. “Well, anyway, it'll be done,” he said vaguely.

“You don't know what you're gonna do then, huh?” Celyn asked knowingly.

“I mean, I...I know I'm...no, I have no idea,” confessed Cisco. “I have to leave Central City, but…”

“Why? You keep saying how much you love your friends, and they all think you were kidnapped by Retrospect. Why not go back to them?” wondered Celyn.

“Are you kidding? I'm such a bad liar, and...I would feel horrible. I already feel horrible. I kidnapped their kids, Celyn.” Cisco rubbed his eyes tiredly. “It really is better if they never know.”

“Don't you think they'll come looking for you? They'll want to rescue you from Retrospect, right?” Celyn pressed.

Cisco tightened his hands into fists. “I don't know, probably!”

“From everything you've told me about them, they won't give up on you,” Celyn stated.

“Yeah, maybe not. But I'm good at hiding, maybe on a different earth...”

“Cisco, I have this feeling that they're going to find out eventually.”

Cisco glared at his companion. “Oh, you're psychic now as well as able to shoot neon lights out of your palms?”

“No. It's just that big secrets have a way of revealing themselves sooner or later.”

She's right . The truth was, Cisco would rather let his friends think he was gone forever than let them know that he betrayed them. But the truth wasn't something he wanted to think about. “I have work to do,” he said shortly, and turned to his computer. He made random clicks, pretending to look busy, until Celyn sighed and left the room.

Chapter Text

Cisco's head hurt. He had run every test he could think of, and everything checked out. He was as sure as he could be that using the device on Barry would remove his ability to travel in time and not harm him. So why was he hesitating?

I'm in way over my head, Cisco thought, not for the first time.

He knew he was doing the right thing. Or did he? Again, he went over the facts in his head. Barry currently could time travel. He had used it before to avoid futures that he didn't want. Therefore, it was reasonable to believe that he would use it again if one of his loved ones were threatened--despite the probable consequences for others.

Because when it came down to it, Barry would have to face a choice. A hard choice, but a choice. Time travel and risk causing ripple effects that could absolutely make the lives of other people worse than they should have been, or accept the way the timeline happened, even if that meant someone he loved dying. And that wasn't a choice that Barry should have to make, especially because Cisco knew what choice he would make every single time.

Time travel shouldn't have been an option in the first place. Barry was a superhero, but he wasn't more important than every other person on Earth. He was only human, after all. (Well, metahuman, but who's counting?) Cisco was only removing an option that shouldn't ever have existed, and making it so that Barry never had to face that choice again--just like every other person on Earth.

“Damn it,” Cisco sighed. He sat down in his chair, tired of pacing. Facing such a complex moral problem was not pleasant. Why did this have to be his responsibility? Why couldn't he have been one of those regular people who didn't kidnap his best friends’ children and who couldn’t see an alternate timeline where he had a partner who loved him and where his friend's girlfriend and daughter were still alive? “Why me?” he said out loud.

There was a loud knock at the door. “Cisco, it's been three hours. Are you going to do this, or not?”

Cisco ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head tiredly. “Come in,” he said.

Celyn marched into the tech room. “What is it now?” she demanded.

“I'm miserable,” Cisco replied.

“Me fucking too, buddy.” She crossed her arms. “And if I knew how to operate all these gadgets, I'd go down there and zap the Flash myself.”

“I'm not sure it's that simple anymore,” Cisco mumbled.

“No? Tell that to Kylie.” Celyn's voice broke, belying the grief behind her frustration. “I literally couldn't care less that you're suddenly having moral doubts about the cause that you roped me into. I want his time travel abilities gone.”

“Shit. You're right, Celyn, and I'm sorry. I know, I know it should be that easy. I know I should be able to look at this completely objectively, but when I look at him...that's just Barry. That's just my friend, and he's scared, and I'm literally going to be altering him on a cellular level without his permission, while he continues to think that I'm some big bad supervillain from another Earth who's probably trying to do something horrible to the world,” Cisco said. “And I look at the two timelines, and...and I see people dead in both of them. Injured, lost forever. And it shouldn't matter, because the whole point is that there should never have been a choice to alter the timeline. But... god , now that I'm actually about to do it, I'm struggling. I'm really struggling, Celyn. Please help me.”

She tried to glare for another minute, but seemed to quickly give up. “Damn it, Cisco. He'll be fine. You'll be preventing this from happening again. Just do it. Or show me how, and like I offered before, I will do it for you, so that you don't have to pull the metaphorical trigger yourself.”

“No, no...it's my responsibility. I need to do it.” He took a deep breath. “Thanks.”

“I didn't do a single goddamn thing.”

Cisco managed a half-smile. “But you did, though.”

Celyn shrugged. “If you say so.”

“Seriously,” Cisco said. “I'm just...really glad I'm not doing this on my own.”

She gazed at him for a moment. “You really miss Piper, don't you?”

Cisco felt his chest clench painfully. “There's nothing to miss. I haven't talked to him in almost ten years, other than a single conversation which lasted less than a minute.”

“You know that isn't true.”

“But it is, though.” Forcing a smile, Cisco stood up. “Okay, I'm going to do it. I'll have to breach into the cell, get the device to touch his skin, and then breach out. It should be pretty easy, but keep an eye on the monitors, just in case something goes wrong. Okay?”

“Got it,” Celyn said.

Cisco took the Retrospect hood, goggles, and jacket out of the drawer and put them on. He still wasn't used to the way it was tight around his temples, or the mesh covering his nose and mouth. It was strange to turn his head with his hair trapped under the hood instead of swishing around his shoulders. The crystals in the hourglass made everything seem slightly off as they interfered with his own vibrational frequency. And as he picked up the small device, which he had named the Temporal Preserver, he opened up a golden breach and stepped into the cell.

Barry shrank back, which absolutely broke Cisco's heart. Barry wasn't supposed to be scared of him.

“What are you going to do to me?” Barry demanded. “What is that? What are you doing? Hey, get away from me! No!” He tried to fight back, but Cisco could tell that he wasn't at his best without his powers and not having eaten enough the past few days, not to mention all the blood samples that had been taken from him.

It was painfully easy for Cisco to take Barry's arm and hold him still for long enough to press the Temporal Preserver to the inside of his wrist and activate it.

And then Barry collapsed. Startled, Cisco almost let go of him, but dropped the device to keep the speedster from hitting his head on the table.

This was not supposed to happen , Cisco panicked.

“What did you do to me?” Barry breathed. He kept trying to pull away and stand up on his own, but he didn't seem to have enough energy. “Retrospect! Tell me what you did!”

Cisco lowered Barry to be sitting on the edge of his bed, saying nothing as his mind raced.

“Hey!” Barry's voice was weak. He couldn't even seem to sit up, and slowly collapsed down onto the pillow. “What's happening to me? Why don't I have any energy? I can't...I can't move, I can't…” He was panting, terrified.

Forcing himself not to immediately tear his mask off and assure Barry that this wasn't supposed to happen , Cisco just reached out and made him stop trying to get up. “It will be temporary,” he said, almost flinching at the strange voice coming from his mouth. “I am not trying to harm you. Stay still.” He opened a breach and left back to the tech room.

Throwing his mask and jacket aside, Cisco rushed to his computers. He ignored Celyn's worried inquiry of, “What the hell happened down there?” and pulled up all of his data from his experiments.

“Shouldn't have happened, shouldn't have...doesn't make sense,” he muttered. “Everything should have worked just like in the trials, why...why didn't it? Doesn't make sense!”

“Cisco!” cried Celyn. “Is the Flash injured?”

“No, he isn't injured, he just...had a reaction I wasn't expecting,” replied Cisco.

“He doesn't look too good,” Celyn said. She was watching him on the monitor.

Cisco looked over. He saw Barry slowly dragging his arms up to put his face into Dawn's blanket. Barry's shoulders shook ever so slightly, and Cisco recognized what it looked like when Barry was so tired and upset and afraid that he couldn't do anything else but cry.

“Leave me alone for a while,” Cisco told Celyn, trying not to sound harsh. “I need to figure this out.”

“Can't I help?” Celyn asked.

“No, I don't think so, unless you can tell me why all of my trials showed perfect results and the real thing didn't work,” said Cisco. “I'm an idiot, whatever I did, I'm such an idiot !”

“I'm going to go, then.” Celyn backed away.

Cisco wasn't paying attention. He combed through every bit of information he had collected about Barry's cells and the Temporal Preserver, and found nothing. Meanwhile on the monitors, Barry had slowly curled up on the bed and seemed not to have the energy to even cry anymore.

Chapter Text

It was nearly midnight. Cisco was so exhausted that he had fallen asleep with his head on his desk, tears of frustration dried on his cheeks. He had been working nonstop to figure out what the hell had gone wrong with Barry, and yet he was no closer to a solution that he had been yesterday when Barry had collapsed.

Even in his sleep, his mind was still working. He dreamed that he was looking at two pictures. Someone asked him what the difference between the two was, and he couldn't find one difference, because the two weren't even similar. So how could he find what was wrong? Something had to be different, something staring him right in the face, something so obvious that when he figured it out, he would sit up and shout--

“OH, I'M A FUCKING IDIOT!”

Cisco scrambled out of the chair, startled awake by his own voice. He had figured it out. What had he figured out?

And then it came to him again. An oversight so huge that he shouldn't even call himself a fucking scientist anymore. 

Barry was inside the cell. The cell had a power dampening field. When Cisco took the blood samples and did the tests, it had been outside the field. Of course Barry had no energy, he didn't have access to his powers to heal from the sudden change to the Speed Force in his cells!

“I'm a fucking idiot,” Cisco repeated, rushing down into the basement. He wasn't wearing his mask, but he didn't care. In the basement, he quickly disabled the power dampening field. “Barry!”

From his position on the bed, Barry gasped sharply and sat up. His eyes were wide. “What the--Cisco?!”

“You can go,” Cisco said instantly. “Go. Run, Barr.”

“What--what did you do? I can--” Barry’s hand started to vibrate. “Cisco?”

Cisco flinched. “Barry, you can go. I’m letting you go. Go home!”

“I don’t understand, Cisco, what…”

“You can just phase out now,” Cisco told him. “Come on, Barry!”

Barry hesitated, and then in a blur of lightning, he was standing right in front of Cisco with Dawn’s blanket still clutched in his hand. “Are you okay? Hey, hey, come with me!”

“No--Barry, you just have to go,” Cisco said, stepping back. “I can’t come.”

“Why not? Hey, buddy, it’s okay, we’ll protect you. I’ll make sure Retrospect can’t get to you!” Barry reached for him.

Cisco pulled away. “No. Barry, just go. And don’t come looking for me, okay?”

“What? Why? Is he threatening you? Talk to me, man, let me help you!”

“Just go home to your family!” insisted Cisco. “I’ll be fine, I promise!”

Barry seemed unconvinced. “What’s wrong, Cisco? Please, let us help you!”

“You can’t, Barr. I’m fine, I swear, I just want you to go home, okay?” Cisco tried to give him a reassuring smile.

“Are you risking something by letting me go? Is Retrospect going to hurt you?” demanded Barry.

“I’ll be fine, but you have to go now,” Cisco said. “Go on, go home to Iris and the twins. Please, don’t...don’t make this harder.”

“You protected them,” Barry said, his voice thick. “You kept the twins safe. Thank you, Cisco.” He tried to pull Cisco into a hug.

With difficulty, Cisco stepped back. “Just go.”

“What is Retrospect’s plan? What did he do to me? If you tell me, we might be able to stop him, Cisco, c’mon buddy, please,” Barry begged.

“You’ll be fine.”

“Which Earth is he from? What about the woman, with the purple X on her chest?”

“Barry!” cried Cisco. “Go home!”

“Not without you!”

Cisco threw his hand out, opening a breach directly underneath Barry’s feet. He barely had time to see the shocked expression on Barry’s face before he fell through the portal. Cisco closed the breach.

Silence fell, broken only by Cisco’s shaky breathing. A minute later, Celyn came rushing into the basement. “Cisco?”

“He’s gone,” Cisco whispered. “It’s done. He’ll be fine, he’s gone home now.”

“Did you...you talked to him? As yourself?”

Cisco nodded. “He thanked me...for keeping the twins safe .” His voice cracked as he hid his face in his hands. “I told him not to come looking for me.”

“Oh, god.” Celyn came up behind him and touched his shoulder gently. “You did the right thing.”

“I know,” sniffled Cisco. “But Barry wouldn’t understand. And now...I don’t have anyone.”

“You’ve got me,” Celyn said firmly. “I’m here.”

Cisco turned and threw his arms around her. “Sorry, I know, I just…”

Celyn seemed startled for a moment before returning the hug. “It’s alright. I get it, it’s...hard to know that everyone from your former life is gone. I really get it.”

Cisco just nodded. He knew she understood.

Chapter Text

It was midnight. Barry could see a clock through the window of a shop in the street that Cisco had breached him to. He was somewhere in Keystone, he was pretty sure. That didn’t mean anything about where the breach had opened, of course. He really had no way of tracking where Cisco was now.

But he did know where home was. Taking a deep breath, he started running. Halfway to Central City, he had to stop and grab some food at a 24 hour diner. Turns out that trying to run after having eaten practically nothing for the last several days wasn’t a good idea for a speedster. Well, for anyone, probably, but it was worse for him.

And then he was home. In his apartment. But nobody else was there. “Iris?” he called. “Hey, baby, where are you?” The twins’ room was empty, too. “Don? Nora-Dawn?” He started to get a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. What if they had gotten kidnapped again?

Then he ran to Joe’s house. Joe, Cecile, and Jenna were nowhere to be found. Where were they all? Barry grabbed the landline phone which Joe had refused to get rid of for years and dialed his adoptive father’s cell number.

After three rings, Joe picked up. “Detective Joe West,” he mumbled sleepily.

“Joe?!” Barry said. He couldn’t keep the panic and relief out of his voice. “Where are you? Where’s Iris and the kids? I couldn’t find them, nobody is home, I--”

“Barry?!” Joe cried. “Barr, are you okay? Where are you?”

“I’m fine, I’m...I’m at your house, where is everyone? Where’s Iris and the twins? Where are you?” Barry babbled.

“Barry, shh, we’re all here--at the Lab, Barr. We thought it was safer, since...well, since what happened to the twins,” Joe tried to explain.

Barry tossed the phone aside and ran. He arrived at STAR Labs, in the lounge, which had been turned into a makeshift bedroom. Joe had gotten out of bed and was still holding his cell phone, while Cecile was slowly sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“Barr!” Joe exclaimed.

“Joe, I thought--you weren’t home, I thought you all had gotten taken,” Barry said, rushing over to hug him. “I’m sorry, I…”

“Don’t apologize, Barr, oh, my god. Are you alright?” Joe demanded. “What happened after you went with Retrospect? How did you get out?”

“I’m fine, I...I was just trapped in a cell for a few days, I’m not...I’m not sure what he did to me, but I couldn’t move for a while, I don’t...and then Cisco saved me, he let me go, Joe, but he didn’t let me take him home with me, I don’t know where he is or what’s going to happen to him, and--where’s Iris, where are the twins?” The words cascaded out of Barry’s throat as he tried to explain everything.

“Slow down, son.” Joe examined Barry’s face concernedly. “Maybe you should sit down, okay?”

“I can go get Iris and the twins,” Cecile offered as she headed out of the lounge. “Oh, it’s so good to see you safe, Barry.”

Jenna had woken up as well. The seven-year-old seemed delighted to see her older brother-in-law. “Barry, you’re back!” she said happily.

“Hey, kiddo, good to see you,” Barry replied, smiling at her.

“Dad said we didn’t know how long you’d be gone!”

“I know, I’m...I’m back a little early, huh? Go back to sleep, honey.” Barry let Joe take him out into the cortex of the Lab and sat down in a chair, putting his head in his hands briefly. Just as quickly, he jumped back to his feet.

Because Iris was rushing towards him with teary eyes, and she flung herself into his arms. “Barry!”

“I’m here, it’s okay,” Barry murmured automatically. “I’m okay, Iris, it’s alright. I’m home. I’ve got you.”

“Daddy!” came a squeal. Cecile had brought the twins, trailing slightly behind Iris. The twins raced at Barry in their multicolored lightning, and then both of them were clinging to his legs.

“We haven’t seen you in forever!” Don yelped.

“You have my blanket!” Nora-Dawn gasped.

Barry laughed, picking them both up. “Hey, hey, little tornadoes! How have you been? You took care of your mamma, yeah?”

Dawn nodded. “We’ve been good, I promise!”

“I believe you, sweetheart.” Barry kissed her forehead, then Don’s. “Oh, babies…”

Iris wrapped her arms around Barry’s waist, putting her head on his shoulder. “We missed you, Barr,” she said softly.

“I missed you, too,” he replied.

“Barr, do you want to tell us all what happened, or do you want to wait until morning?” Joe asked.

“I…” Barry held the twins tighter. “In a few minutes, okay?”

“Of course,” Iris murmured. “Take as long as you need.”

Eventually, Barry managed to put the twins down. Cecile took them back to bed while Barry sat back down. Iris sat in his lap, arms around his neck protectively. Nobody tried to make her let go.

Caitlin and Wally had been called in. They both hugged Barry, expressing how glad they were that he had returned safely.

“Guys, Retrospect did something to me,” Barry said once everyone was there listening. “I don’t know what it was. He...well, there was this knockout drug. I was...I was in a cell that made my powers not work. It was the same...same room that the twins had been held in.” He held up Dawn’s blanket, which he hadn’t been able to put aside. “Nora-Dawn left this there.”

“The twins told me it wasn’t a bad place,” Iris said quietly. “That they had a bed, and a bathroom, and some games to play.”

“Yeah, it was...it wasn’t bad, as far as prisons go,” Barry said. “But it had something that could release this knockout drug into the air. I got knocked out three times, I think, and injected with something. I’d have a cotton ball taped onto a needle-mark when I woke up.”

“I’ll run some tests,” Caitlin stated.

“Thanks. And then, um, maybe two days ago, roughly...I’m not sure how long it was, but Retrospect came into the cell, he didn’t knock me out. But he had this..thing, this device, and he touched it to my wrist, and then I couldn’t…” Barry was trembling a little as he recalled it. Iris took his hand reassuringly. “I kind of just felt everything drain out of me, like all of my energy was just gone, and I couldn’t stand up. I felt just so exhausted, I couldn’t move. Like, it hurt to move at all, it took so much effort, all I could do was curl up on the bed and wait.”

“Oh, Barry,” Iris breathed.

“And then, just...just a little while ago, right before midnight, Cisco …” Barry broke off. He was trying not to cry. “Sorry, I...just a second, sorry…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Iris soothed. “Take your time.”

Barry collected himself. “Cisco. I hadn’t seen him at all before tonight. Last night, whatever. When he came down. And he must have done something, because suddenly I had energy again. He told me to phase out of the cell and go home, and I had my speed back, so I phased out. And I tried, I really tried to get him to come home with me. I told him that whatever Retrospect had done to him, we’d protect him, we’d keep him safe. But he just kept telling me to go home. To go home to Iris and the twins, and that he’d be fine. But guys, he was...I could tell that he was hurting, that something was wrong. He was lying to me about something.”

“Do you know where you were being held?” asked Wally.

“No. I didn’t run out of there, Cisco opened a breach underneath me, he sent me to Keystone. I ran all the way back to our apartment, and then to Joe and Cecile’s when I couldn’t find you, Iris, and then I called Joe and came here.” Barry took a deep breath. “And that’s all I know. Retrospect wouldn’t tell me anything, and Cisco didn’t, either.”

“Okay, well...you're home safe, yeah? We can move on from here,” Wally said.

“We'll figure it out,” Caitlin said. “We'll get Cisco home. He's strong, he'll be okay.”

“I hope you're right,” Barry responded.

Iris combed her fingers through Barry's hair. “Let's have Caitlin check you over, okay?”

“I'm so tired,” Barry sighed.

“Just a quick check-up,” Caitlin assured him. “Just to make sure you're in no immediate danger, and then you can go to sleep.”

“Fine,” Barry said. He stood up. Iris got off his lap and walked with him into the medbay, holding his hand while Caitlin took scans and a blood sample.

“Everything seems...mostly okay,” Caitlin said hesitantly.

“I don't like ‘mostly okay’ when it's referring to my husband,” Iris said, glancing at Barry worriedly.

“Yeah, not sure I like the sound of that, either,” agreed Barry.

“Well, your red blood cell counts are a little bit low. I think the ‘injections’ you mentioned were actually your blood being drawn,” Caitlin said. “And you haven't eaten enough to fix it, even with your speed healing back. But that'll be fine after a couple of good meals. You should probably have a protein bar and some juice before you sleep.”

“Is there more? It sounds like there's more,” Barry said.

“I'm not sure yet. Something seems slightly off, but nothing dangerous. It's like...some tiny bit of the Speed Force in your cells is gone. That might also be an effect of your powers being dampened for so long. We'll just wait and see.” Caitlin touched his arm gently. “But I'm clearing you to have something to eat and then to get some rest. I'll do more comprehensive tests in the morning.”

“Thanks, Caitlin,” said Iris.

“Of course. And guys? We’ll get Cisco back. He’ll be okay.” Caitlin looked determined. “I can tell that you feel guilty, Barry, but it’s not your fault. Whatever Retrospect’s plan is, it’s clear that Cisco couldn’t come home with you. If you had brought him, things could have turned out much worse.”

Barry exhaled slowly. “You’re probably right. I just...I didn’t want to leave him in danger, y’know? I was the one who said he was probably fine when he disappeared in September, I...I didn’t look hard enough for him.”

“Barr, he could have been on a different Earth ,” Iris said. “If Retrospect didn’t want him to be found, you wouldn’t have found him.”

“But what if Retrospect hurts him for letting me go?” Barry asked. “It’s my fault.”

“No, Barr. It was Cisco’s choice,” Joe interjected. “He wanted you to go home. He knew what he was doing. He’ll be okay.”

“I hope you’re right,” said Barry. “I really hope you’re right.”

Chapter Text

Cisco was just finishing packing. He was putting everything he might need into a backpack. It was mostly tech supplies, since he could buy clothes wherever he was (he had plenty of money, all cash).

He wasn't sure where he was going to go. There were a few Earths he knew of which accepted interdimensional travellers and immigrants. But he didn't even really want to go to a different Earth. He didn't want to stay on this one, either, which was the hardest part. He didn't want to be anywhere .

The sun hadn't risen yet. In the darkness of pre-dawn, Cisco stood with his backpack on in front of the building. The hood of a large sweatshirt was pulled up over his head, hiding his face. Before him stretched an infinity of possibility of where to go, what to do. A strange feeling filled his chest, the kind that only appears in the early morning before embarking upon some great adventure. But this one tasted more bitter than most did, the bite of strong black coffee instead of the faint whiff from a travel mug in the hand of a companion.

“Leaving without me?”

Cisco closed his eyes. “Yep.”

“Like hell you are,” scoffed Celyn. She stepped in front of him and grabbed his arm, forcing him to open his eyes. “Hey, I'm not letting you waltz off and leave me alone in this goddamn mess of a world.”

“Team Flash doesn't know who you are. You could stay here, or go back to Opal City. Make a new life for yourself,” Cisco said dully. “I can't stay here. I can't stay anywhere they might find me.”

“Oh, I'm not trying to talk you into staying. But wherever you're going, you're gonna take me with you.” The look in Celyn's eyes told Cisco that she wasn't joking in any way. “I won't let you disappear after you showed me a timeline where my daughter and Kylie survived. You're all I have left of them.”

“Celyn--”

“Because you can't just show something like that to someone, recruit them into some vigilante cause, and then just abandon them back to live whatever life they'd have had without you,” Celyn continued angrily. “And you know what else, Cisco? You're my friend! I want to stay with you, because you're my friend. And I think you want me to come, ‘cause you sure as hell don't want to be alone.”

Cisco gave in. “Yeah, you're right. Of course you're right. But I don't want to be the thing holding you back from doing what you want to do with your life, okay? So if you come with me, you have to promise that it is actually what you want. That you won't hate me in five years for dragging you along.”

“I promise,” Celyn stated.

“Alright. Go get packed.”

Celyn held up a bag. Cisco hadn't even noticed she had been carrying it. “I'm already ahead of the game, clearly.”

Cisco smiled.

“Okay, so where are we going? I assume we're breaching there?” Celyn asked.

“Probably depends on where we're going,” said Cisco.

“You still don't know where you're going?” Celyn said incredulously.

“Nope. Got any suggestions?”

“Wait, so you were just standing here dramatically with no idea where you were about to leave to?” Celyn put her hands on her hips. “What were you gonna do?”

“I don't know, I would have figured something out,” defended Cisco. “I may not know what I'm doing.”

“Is...is there a ‘but’ to that sentence?”

Cisco shook his head. “No. I just may not know what I'm doing.”

“You're ridiculous.”

“As long as you understand that, we'll be good,” laughed Cisco. “So, Celyn, where do you want to go?”

“How about Europe?” Celyn suggested. “I've never been.”

“Europe, cool. Want to narrow that down, or…?”

“Surprise me,” Celyn said.

Cisco sighed. He held his hand out. “Europe it is.” He opened a breach.

Chapter Text

In a small town in Ireland, it was snowing. Cisco sat in the armchair in the corner of the small, slightly run-down cottage that they had bought. Celyn was working in the restaurant and bar in town. It had been her idea to live in town as opposed to in the middle of nowhere.

“You'd be hiding in plain sight, I could get work, and there would be people to talk to in case you started to drive me crazy,” she had said. “And in a small town, there's less likely to be anyone who would take pictures with us in the background, since Team Flash has facial recognition software.”

“I'll be staying inside most of the time anyway,” Cisco warned. “But sure.”

They had found this cottage a week ago and had bought it right away. Celyn had done the actual purchasing, since Cisco was very wary of letting anyone see him. Even if it was extremely unlikely for anyone to recognize him, he didn't want to take the chance. There were two small bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, and a living room. It wasn't very big, but it was enough space to do what they needed to do.

Cisco's bedroom doubled as his lab. He assembled parts of gadgets without any larger plan of what to make, then took the pieces apart and rearranged them. It wasn't purposeful, just something to do to pass the time.

He didn't let himself Vibe into the other timeline at all. Nor did he allow himself to try and find Hartley, no matter how much longing and curiosity tugged him. But he couldn’t stop himself from checking in on Team Flash a few times.

Things had been quiet in Central City since Cisco had left. Attacks had been few, far between, and minor. The team spent more time trying to repair damaged infrastructure than fighting metahumans. Parts of the city were crumbling away underneath the citizens’ feet. Central City had been severely de-funded in the past few years. People moved away and nobody moved in to take their place. No one wanted to live in Central City anymore, metahuman attack capital of the world.

Cisco closed his eyes and entered a Vibe. He knew STAR Labs so well that he didn't need a physical object to Vibe it.

Barry was slumped over at a computer, his head in his arms. Cisco was pretty sure he was asleep, though it was early afternoon in Central City. He must have been exhausted.

Cisco heard a sound behind him and spun around. Iris was walking quietly into the room over to Barry. He stepped out of her way, even though he wasn't actually there.

“Barry,” Iris said softly. “Barry, honey.”

“Hm?!” Barry sat up, staring around.

“It's okay,” Iris hastened. “You're fine.”

“Oh, I fell asleep.” Barry rubbed his eyes. “Sorry, I…”

“Don't worry, I get it. You haven't been sleeping well, babe, how can I help?” Iris asked.

“I don't think you can. I just...I need to get Cisco back safe, Iris, I can't stop wondering if he's hurt, or worse, and what he must be going through. And then I think that maybe if I had started looking for him sooner, or if I had reached out more over the past few years, because he hadn't been doing well for ages and I never helped enough, I never...and I need to apologize to him. I just have to get him back.” Barry sighed.

“Barr, we'll get Cisco home safely. But we can't do that if you're exhausted all the time.”

“I know. I'm trying.”

Cisco let go of the Vibe and was back in the little cabin, guilt clawing at his stomach. Everyone was worried about him. Barry was losing sleep over him. When he had Vibed the team a few days ago, Caitlin had been working to find him as well. And when he had checked on the twins and Jenna, who were all being looked after by Joe at the time, they had asked where he was, and why Barry was home but Uncle Cisco wasn't.

He had to do something, but he couldn't just go back. Maybe he could write Barry a letter? But they wouldn't believe a letter, would they? He had to show up in person, or they wouldn't believe he wasn't being forced to say he was fine. And then they would want to know what had happened, who Retrospect was and what he wanted, who Lumen was, and why Cisco couldn't stay. They might even try to force him to stay.

No, he couldn't go. And he couldn't call or send a letter. He would just have to hope that they'd give up and be alright.

Yeah, right , he thought dismally. As if they'd ever give up on one of their friends. And so it’s my responsibility to make sure they don't hurt themselves looking for me.

Not today, though. He didn't have any answers today.

Chapter Text

Christmas had been a rather somber, quiet affair in the cabin. To be more accurate, the holiday was only mentioned twice in a brief exchange of “Merry Christmas"es in the morning after Celyn mentioned that she had the day off from work. She then disappeared into her room with a book and Cisco sat in front of the television and watched reruns of a show he didn't recognize.

The snow outside had continued all throughout the month, barely melting away before the next flurry of white crystals. Cisco thought that it was beautiful, though he rarely went outside to appreciate it. Tonight, however, he was struck by the desire to put on a coat, step outside, and find a tree stump to clear of snow and sit down upon.

He recognized the feeling of something tugging at him from the other timeline. It was a feeling he tried his hardest to ignore most of the time. That seemed impossible tonight. As he closed his eyes, everything turned blue.

A baby was being born. Cisco watched Celyn pace in the waiting room, saw her get called in to see Kylie. “She changed her mind, she does want you there,” the nurse said.

“Cisco?”

Being ripped out of the Vibe felt like getting splashed with a bucket of ice water, and Cisco gasped. Celyn's hand was on his shoulder. She looked worried.

“Cisco, it's almost midnight. And it's freezing out. Are you okay?”

Cisco’s eyes filled with tears. One slipped down his cheek and froze. He realized he was shivering.

“You're crying, what's wrong?”

“It's her birthday,” Cisco whispered.

Celyn looked confused. “Cisco?”

“I'm sorry, I didn't realize that's what had happened, I just knew something had and I didn't even mean to see it, I just…” Cisco's teeth were starting to chatter. “I'm s-sorry.”

“You're freezing,” Celyn said, taking his arm and hauling him to his feet. “You shouldn't have gone outside in this weather, not in the dark.”

Cisco nodded. He let her take him inside and give him a blanket. Not sure if she had understood what he had told her, he didn't say anything.

Celyn's hands were shaking, and not just from the cold. “Cisco, you said...it was her birthday, do you mean…?”

“Hope,” Cisco murmured. “She would have been born tonight.”

There was a sharp inhale of breath as Celyn fully understood.

“I'm sorry,” Cisco needed to say. “I really didn't mean to see, it just happened.”

Celyn sat down on the couch next to him and grabbed his hand. “Show me,” she said.

“A-are you sure? I...I don't know if that's a good idea, Celyn, I can't…” His voice shook. “I can't bring her back. It hurts to see what you can never have. I don't want to make it worse by showing you.”

But Celyn looked determined. “Show me,” she repeated. “Please.”

Cisco nodded. “If you're sure,” he murmured. He closed his eyes to pull Celyn into the other timeline with him, to see what they could never have again.

Chapter Text

“Barry! Barry, wake up!” Iris was shaking him awake. “Barry!”

“What, what's happening?” gasped Barry. “Are the twins okay?” He scrambled out of bed. The sheets got tangled around him and he toppled to the ground. “Ow!”

“Oh, babe, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. What's wrong?”

Iris pulled him to his feet. She looked worried. “Barr, Top and Mirror Master just broke out of Iron Heights.”

“Oh, sh….” Barry muttered. “Wait--what day is it?”

“Um, the 24th. Why?”

“Of course, of course, I should have remembered, should have been prepared...oh, god,” Barry said. He sped into his Flash suit, still cursing.

“What? What are you talking about? What should you have remembered?” Iris asked urgently.

“We should head into the Lab, and we have to bring the twins.” Barry groaned. “I...we need…”

“Let's go to the Lab, then. Wally and Caitlin are already there waiting for us,” Iris said. “Should we get Dad and Cecile and Jenna?”

“Yeah, probably. Um, okay.” Barry took a breath and ran to STAR Labs with Iris, came back for the twins, and then got Joe, Cecile, and Jenna.

“Barr, what's going on?” Joe demanded as soon as he could stand steadily.

The twins had been asleep. They started sitting up and rubbing their eyes. “Daddy? Why are we at STAR?” asked Don.

Wally took over. “Guys, Top and Mirror Master escaped from Iron Heights last night. Nobody knows where they are.”

“Rosa Dillon and Sam Scutter,” Joe sighed.

“Bad guys got out of jail?” Dawn gasped.

Jenna was wide-eyed as she darted over to her ‘cousins’. “Are they gonna come here?” she asked.

“No--I don't think so,” Barry said. He was trying not to panic. “Guys, I should have remembered, I'm sorry--”

“Jenna, baby, take the twins to the lounge and keep them busy and safe,” Joe told his daughter quietly. The young girl took the twins’ hands and led them away despite their protests.

“Barr, what didn't you remember?” Wally asked.

“When I went to the future--” Barry glanced over his shoulder to check that the kids couldn't hear him. “To avoid the timeline where Savitar killed Iris, I fought Top and Mirror Master.”

“So you've already beat them and this should be easy,” Caitlin said.

Cecile was shaking her head. “Something tells me it isn't that simple, Caitlin.”

Barry ran his hands through his hair anxiously. “I fought them on February 3rd, 2024.”

“A week and a half from now,” Wally figured.

“They've found a new way to fight, by joining their powers together. I couldn't handle them anymore, they were going to beat me,” Barry tried to explain. “I wasn't going to be able to take them down on my own. Even when the future-Barry joined me, it wasn't him who actually managed to figure out a way to stop them.”

“Then how did you stop them?” Iris asked.

“It...it was Cisco. Cisco had built the device that we used to counteract their powers’ effects.” Barry saw the team’s faces fall. “And I have no idea if I could even begin to recreate it, guys. We need…”

“We need Cisco,” Caitlin said quietly.

Barry nodded. Since Cisco had disappeared, they didn't truly have a tech expert as part of the team. Wally was a good engineer, but he could never design such intricate, specific gadgets as Cisco. “With that device, it was easy to beat Scutter and Dillon. Without it, they could cripple me and anyone else we send after them in seconds. Anyone who gets close to them are affected, I can't even just run and hope they don't notice me.”

“Sounds like you need to get started on recreating this device,” Joe said. “I'll start warning the police about this new power of theirs if Barry can explain a little more. I may have retired, but I've got plenty of friends in the meta-units who would be grateful for a little insider knowledge.”

“I'll join you,” Cecile said. “The more people who know, the better.”

“I can put an article out, warning people to stay away if they see them,” Iris added.

“If I can understand the physiological effects of the powers you described, Barry, I can definitely help with making this device,” Caitlin told him.

“I can try to build it,” offered Wally. “I'm no Cisco, but...I'll try.”

“I'm sorry, guys, if I...if I had remembered, maybe we could have prevented them from escaping in the first place,” Barry apologized.

Cecile touched his arm. “Maybe, maybe not. It isn't your fault, Barry. We just have to try and make sure nobody gets hurt.”

Chapter Text

“Celyn, do you know where I put my tablet?” Cisco complained, reaching down between the couch cushions.

“How should I know?” she called back from the other room. “Wait, you had it this morning when you were making coffee.”

Cisco suddenly remembered setting the tablet down next to the coffee machine and sighed. “You are correct, thank you!” He headed into the kitchen. After just a few steps, the world fell away and he was ripped into a Vibe.

Barry was running in circles around Top and Mirror Master, clearing people out of the town square in front of the bank as fast as he could. Every few seconds, he had to pause, panting and swaying unsteadily, then hitting a button on a small device attached to his chest. It sent out a pulse of energy.

“Guys, it isn't working right!” he said. The world looked like it was tilting, though Cisco knew it wasn't.

“What's wrong, Flash? Too much spin for you?” laughed Dillon.

“We'll come help,” Caitlin's voice came through Barry’s communicator.

“No, you can't…” Barry crumpled to the ground.

Gasping for air, Cisco found himself on his knees on the floor. He felt nauseous and shaky. His heart was pounding.

“Cisco? Are you okay?!” Celyn rushed towards him. “Oh, my god, are you okay? What's wrong?”

“I just...had a Vibe,” Cisco mumbled. “I...Barry is in trouble, whole team...the city is in trouble, under attack. Top and Mirror Master are out.”

“What? Cisco, you look sick.” Celyn touched his forehead worriedly.

“‘m not sick, Top's powers got to me even just through a Vibe.” Cisco stood up with difficulty. “I have to...have to help him. In the other timeline, I…” With a feeling of shock, Cisco recalled the device he had built in the other timeline to stop Barry from returning home, which had become the key to defeating the pair of metas. He hadn't thought that he even remembered the piece of tech existing until now, but one of the gadgets he had put together while he was bored seemed a lot more like a resonance field disruptor than useless bits of scraps. “I've got to find--”

He felt himself fall to the ground again as the world flashed into blue, dragging him back to Central City. Celyn's exclamation of shock did nothing to pull him back as the vision unfolded before him.

“Go finish him, I'll head inside,” Dillon said. “The city owes us after keeping us locked away for so long.”

Scutter stalked towards Barry, who was lying on the ground and struggling to get up. “Nobody coming to save you, Flash? Are they all too scared of what we'll do to them? Or--”

His words were cut off by a deafening, shrieking sound. Cisco tried to cover his ears, but that did no good inside a Vibe.

“What the hell?” Scutter shouted. He turned around to see where the sound had come from. Cisco turned, too.

A man in a hooded cloak was stumbling towards the battle. He lost his balance as he approached the supervillain duo, but another blast of sound from the gloves he wore nearly knocked them over.

“Who are you supposed to be?” Dillon sneered. She narrowed her eyes at the man, intensifying her powers.

Barry had almost managed to sit up, staring at the hooded man. “Get out of here!” he exclaimed.

Of course, Hartley didn't listen.

Cisco grabbed onto Celyn's hands. “Holy shit,” he breathed.

“What the hell, Cisco? Are you okay?”

“Celyn, help me up. There's something I need to get, and then I'm going to Central City.”

Celyn followed him into his bedroom, where he kept all his experimental materials. “What are you talking about? What do you have to find? Can I help?”

“Must have subconsciously remembered how to make it, so when I was messing around and thinking none of it meant anything, I followed the pattern in my head!” Cisco found the disruptor at the bottom of the drawer in his bedside table, along with the goggles he wore as Vibe. He pulled his old leather Vibe jacket out of his closet. “I gotta go, Celyn, I'll be back. I'll let you know when!”

“Cisco, wait! Cisco, what are you--”

He opened a breach and jumped into Central City, activating the device in his hand and pinning it to his jacket before he landed, feet planted firmly on the ground, facing down Top and Mirror Master.

“Oh, look, another little superhero coming to save the day,” Dillon laughed. “I think you'll find you're all too unbalanced to compete with us, though.” Her eyes flashed yellow, staring directly at Cisco.

But Cisco didn't even sway. The disruptor pinned to his jacket had worked. “Sorry, Top,” he said. “I don't spin that easily.” He raised his hands and sent out a burst of vibrational energy that sent the duo toppling backwards, slamming them into the wall of the bank. “Flash, I hope you have some meta-cuffs!” he called. He sent another Vibe-blast to keep Top and Mirror Master down and out so that they couldn't use their powers effectively.

Barry tried to get up twice before he finally got his balance back and could run. A second later, Dillon and Scutter were in handcuffs. “You're going straight back to Iron Heights, pals,” Barry said. He looked over at Cisco with so many questions in his eyes, but he disappeared in his yellow lightning along with the villains.

Without thinking, Cisco ran over to Hartley. “Are you okay?” he asked.

Hartley was on the ground. Between when Cisco has seen him in the Vibe and when he had actually arrived in Central City, he had fallen down and was still struggling to get up. Cisco distantly felt like he knew that Top's powers affected Hartley disproportionately because of his already injured inner ears. “What are you doing here?” Hartley demanded.

“Stopping Top and Mirror Master, of course.” Cisco reached out to help Hartley up, then thought better of it. “Seriously, are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“No, I'm fine.”

“What are you doing in Central City?”

“I've lived here since last year when my father died.” Hartley finally stood up, grabbing a nearby bench for support. “And you haven't been seen for months. Barry said you disappeared last August and that you were captured by another breacher.”

“You've been talking to Barry?” Cisco asked, confused.

“They wanted to know if I knew where you were. Obviously, I didn't. Then they wanted me to help them build something to counteract Top and Mirror Master’s powers, but...it didn't work.” Hartley glared at Cisco suspiciously. “How were you not affected by them?”

“Resonance field disruptor,” Cisco said, pointing at the device. “I made it accidentally.”

“Of course.” Hartley paused. “So, were you being held captive by this Retrospect person?”

“I...can't talk about it,” Cisco said evasively.

“You know, Team Flash has been pretty worried about you.”

Cisco winced. “I know.”

“You should tell them you're okay. Anyway, bye, Cisco.” Hartley looked like he might have wanted to say something else, but he just turned and walked away unsteadily. Cisco was going to just let him go, but he had to ask one more question.

“Hartley? Did you tell them...anything about what I showed you last year?”

Hartley looked over his shoulder. “Of course not.” He kept walking.

Cisco felt his hands shaking. He sat down on the bench, trying to calm down. He could see a few reporters and cops starting to come towards the scene of the battle. He knew he needed to leave, but he just felt too overwhelmed to decide what to do quite yet.

There was a flash of electricity in the corner of his eye. He looked up.

“Cisco?” Barry slowly held out his hand. “Come back to the Lab with me?”

“Can't, Barr.”

“Please? Please, just...just tell us what's going on, we can help you.” Barry glanced over at the approaching reporters. A few of them had started running, eager to talk to the Flash. “Cisco, we should get out of here. Please?”

Cisco didn't know why, but he nodded.

“Really? Oh! Okay, come on, I'm taking you home.” Barry took his hand, and Cisco closed his eyes instinctively to protect his eyes from Barry's running even though he was wearing his goggles.

When he opened them, he was in STAR Labs. Standing around the Cortex and staring at him were Iris, Wally, Caitlin, Joe, and Cecile.

After a moment, Cisco waved weakly at them. “Hi.”

“Cisco?” Caitlin answered first. “You… you're home?”

He didn't respond, but when she ran to him and threw her arms around him, he hugged her back. “Hi, Cait,” he murmured. He was close to tears. He had missed her a lot.

“We've been so worried about you,” Iris said, walking over. She touched his shoulder briefly. As Caitlin finally stepped back, Iris nudged in to hug him tightly. “Oh, Cisco, what's been going on with you?”

“You've been gone for months !” Wally said. “We thought Retrospect had you, man!” He didn't even wait for his sister to let go of Cisco, just leapt in to embrace him over her.

There was a lump in Cisco's throat that made it impossible to talk. He put his face against Wally's shoulder and shook his head. “Sorry,” he choked out.

“Sorry? What for?” Barry pulled the mask and cowl of the Flash suit away from his face. “Cisco?”

Cisco was glad that his goggles hid the tears in his eyes as Iris and Wally let go of him and Barry stepped forward.

“Don't apologize, Cisco, we…” Barry pulled him close. “We're just glad you're safe now, man. What happened? Cisco, you gotta tell us so we can help you!”

There was a twisting feeling in Cisco's stomach. He was trying, trying so hard not to fall back into the feelings of companionship and home that this team and STAR Labs had always been for him. He knew he couldn't ever have it back, not after what he did, and it would be so much harder to let go again if he let himself feel all of those old emotions. And yet he couldn't bring himself to push Barry away.

“Cisco? You're shaking, Cisco. It's okay, you're home now. We'll make sure everything turns out okay, I promise.” Barry hugged him tighter.

Cisco burst into tears. He pulled away, pushing his goggles up to try and wipe the tears away. His friends all made concerned noises and moved closer. “I can't stay,” he said through his sobs. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry--”

“Just tell us what's wrong!” Caitlin pleaded. “Explain what's been happening, and we can help, just like Barry said. Don't just disappear again, please, we can't lose you again!”

“Yeah, we've always worked through things together before. We can do it again,” Iris said, taking his hand.

“No, you c-can't ,” Cisco insisted. “You don't understand, you can't...can't fix this .”

“Help us understand, then!” Wally cried.

“I'm sorry, I can't, I'm sorry!” Cisco couldn't bear being there a moment longer. He opened a breach and leapt through it without any thought as to where he was going to end up. His friends’ worried faces were the last things he saw before going through the portal and landing in an empty house.

The windows were shuttered closed. There was no furniture. A few dusty tarps covered the ground. In one corner, it looked like part of a wall had caved in, covered by another tarp. Nobody had lived here in a long time.

“Where…” Cisco wiped his eyes, too confused at the moment to keep crying. He walked through the house, avoiding the parts of the stairs that looked unstable. Everywhere he went, something seemed to be tugging at his mind. He smelled cinnamon pancakes for a second, then lavender. Upstairs, he thought for a second that one of the walls in a room looked pink, but when he looked again, it was plain white.

He touched the handle of the master bedroom, and the world turned blue for a brief second. It was just enough time for him to catch a glimpse of a pillow fight and an empty bag of chips. 

“Oh,” he whispered. This was his house. His and Hartley's, from the other timeline. It didn't belong to anyone anymore. He sat down in the corner of the empty bedroom and wrapped his arms around his knees. His subconscious had brought him here because it was a place he was supposed to feel safe, but there wasn't any more than traces of broken memories of home here.

Chapter Text

Hartley had a hunch.

Actually, Hartley had a couple of hunches. After Caitlin had called him yesterday, asking him if he was okay after the battle with Top and Mirror Master, if Cisco had said anything to him, and whether he knew where Cisco had gone, Hartley had made a few guesses. He didn't know if he was right, but he was going to find out.

Something just wasn't adding up. Everything that Team Flash had told him about what was happening with Cisco and how Iris and Barry's kids had been kidnapped to capture Barry did seem to point towards someone forcing Cisco to act against his will. However, Hartley had seen more of the picture than anyone else. Hartley had seen the alternate timeline that Cisco had shown him.

It just isn't fair , Hartley thought, not for the first time. It's not fair that he sees how things could have been for him. It wasn't fair for that...other version of me to tell him to find this version of me. Not fair to him, and certainly not fair to me!

The glimpse of the alternate timeline had given Hartley a few ideas about where Cisco might be, though. For some reason, one of the details he had remembered from what Cisco had shown him had been an address. While it was true that Cisco could have been anywhere on any Earth, something told Hartley that he wouldn't have gone too far from home this time. And Barry had, of course, already checked Cisco's old apartment.

This whole block had been partially destroyed in a meta-attack several years ago. The city didn't have enough resources to fix it, so nobody had lived here since before the attack except for a few homeless people who used the buildings as shelter. Hartley hesitated at the door of the house for several minutes before finally bringing his hand up to the doorknob and using a tiny blast of sonic waves to nudge the lock. He opened the door.

The place smelled of nothing but dust and some mold. Hartley walked slowly, not wanting to make much sound or to break through any weak floorboards. He checked every room on the first floor and then cautiously went up the stairs. All of the doors were closed except one.

In the corner of the empty master bedroom, Cisco was sitting with his head resting against the wall and his eyes closed. “Hi, Hartley,” he said quietly.

“You know it's me without opening your eyes?”

“I saw you coming.” Cisco opened his eyes. “I don't seem to have much of a choice in what I'm seeing these days.”

Hartley took a few steps forward. “Cisco, um…”

“Why are you here?” asked Cisco.

“I don't know exactly. I think...I think you might be in some kind of trouble. Or you're in over your head, or something. Barry and all of them are worried about you, and running away from them yesterday didn't help. They think you're being threatened by Retrospect.” Hartley examined Cisco closely. “You're not, are you? Nobody is threatening you. You were never captured by anyone.”

Fear rose in Cisco's eyes. “You--you didn't tell them, did you?” he breathed.

“No. I...I wasn't even sure until right now.” Hartley finally got close enough to sit down slowly, facing Cisco. “Why did ‘Retrospect’ need Barry, Cisco?”

Cisco shook his head. “Why should I tell you anything?”

“You don't have to, but I think...I think you want to.” Hartley paused. “And if you don't want to tell me, you should tell the rest of them. They deserve to know the truth.”

“I know they do,” Cisco said, his voice filled with self-loathing. “But I don't think the world operates based on who deserves what.”

Hartley winced. “Yeah. Maybe not.”

“But I'll think about it,” Cisco said. “What have you been up to, anyway? You said you've been living in Central City since your father died?”

“He left me money, for some reason.” Hartley thought about the letter he had received and clenched his fist. “A lot of money. I stayed in Central City to try to make things better for the people here. People are leaving, and they're just not coming back. I'm trying to make it...better.”

“Good, good, that's...that's great, Hartley. I hope you're very successful.” Cisco smiled. It was a tiny smile, but it was sincere.

“Me, too. Cisco, listen,” Hartley said spontaneously. “Central City is a mess. The world is a mess right now, and...and it needs more heroes, not less. Don't disappear. You have too much to offer the world to disappear.”

“If I don't disappear…” Cisco was clearly struggling with what he was trying to say. “I mean, if I...decide to stay and...will you...I mean, can we be friends again?”

“I'd like that,” Hartley agreed. It had been ten years, but he could still remember how much he had loved spending time with Cisco after they had become friends. “Yeah, I'd really like that.”

Cisco smiled at him again. “I think...I think the team is going to hate me when I tell them what I did,” he said a moment later.

“Cisco, they love you,” Hartley replied easily. “Do you think you did the right thing?”

“Yes.”

“Explain that to them. They...might not understand, but they will forgive you. You all managed to forgive me all those years ago.” Hartley reached out and touched Cisco's wrist. “It's going to be okay.”

Cisco's eyes closed, like he was trying not to cry. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“No. But I know you, and I know them. You're going to be okay.”

“Thank you.” Cisco sniffed and wiped his eye surreptitiously. “Thanks. I'll...well, I'm going to stay here for tonight. I'll go to the Lab tomorrow. Please don't tell them where I am, I promise I'll talk to them when I'm ready.”

“Of course.” Hartley glanced around the bare room. “Do you want a sleeping bag, or something…?”

Cisco actually laughed. “I'll be fine. Go home, Hart. I'll see you soon, I'm sure.”

“See you soon, Cisco.” Hartley stood up and left. The conversation was rolling around in his head as he went home. He was glad he had found Cisco, and that he had convinced Cisco to be honest with Team Flash. He just hoped that he was right in telling Cisco that he would be forgiven. If he wasn't right, he doubted that Cisco would ever forgive him .

Chapter Text

Cisco's heart beat so quickly in his chest that he had to put his hand against the wall and take several deep, shaky breaths before he felt calm enough again. The anxiety was coursing through him like an unstoppable flood of river water. He had been working up the bravery to open the breach to STAR Labs for over an hour. Every time he tried, his panic pulled him right back.

What was he going to say? How could he explain himself? What if they really did end up hating him?

I'll never know the answers if I don't just go, he told himself firmly. And with a burst of resolve, he opened a breach and stepped through to the Cortex.

Caitlin practically flew out of her chair. Her hands went up defensively and her eyes started sparkling white before she realized who she was looking at. “Oh!”

“Hey, Caitlin.”

“Cisco! Are you okay? What are you doing here? Are you safe?” she babbled. Over the comm system that spanned the whole building, she called, “Guys! Cisco came back!”

“I'm okay, Cait.” Now that he was here, Cisco felt remarkably calmer. “I have to talk to all of you.”

“It's just me, Barry, Iris, and Wally here today, Joe and Cecile and the kids are at home,” Caitlin told him. “Should I call them in?”

“Not the kids,” Cisco said quickly. “I don't want them to hear this yet. But Joe and Cecile, yeah. Yeah, they should know.”

Caitlin seemed to be trying not to ask more questions. “I'll send Barry to get them once he--”

Two whirls of lightning arrived, and Wally and Barry were there. Iris came running in after them. “Cisco!” she panted. 

“I'm ready to explain,” Cisco said.

“He wants Joe and Cecile to be here, too,” Caitlin added.

Barry and Wally looked at each other and ran off. They returned several seconds later with Joe and Cecile, who  both had to take a moment to recover from the travel.

“Cisco? Do you want to sit down, maybe, somewhere we can all listen?” Wally asked.

Cisco shook his head. Suddenly, he was nervous again. “No, here is fine. I...I have to tell you something.”

“Go ahead, Cisco, we're listening,” Barry said. Iris murmured her agreement.

“It's okay, son, anything you have to tell us. We're your family,” Joe encouraged.

“I…” Now Cisco was really nervous. He didn't know what to say. “I didn't...I wasn't ever held captive.”

“Okay, did...did Retrospect threaten someone to make you work with him?” Barry asked.

“N-no, you don't understand.”

“Was the Cisco we saw on the video a doppelganger working with Retrospect?” Wally came up with.

“You don't understand,” Cisco repeated.

“Wait! Retrospect is the doppelganger!” countered Wally.

“No, it was me, not a doppelganger!” Cisco was getting frustrated.

Barry frowned. “Did--were you working with Retrospect willingly ? Why--”

“Barry! I am Retrospect!” Cisco shouted.

There was silence. Iris started shaking her head. “No,” she said. “No, no, because you...you would never...you wouldn't take the twins, you would never...never do that to us, Cisco, you wouldn't--”

“Retrospect's breaches were golden. Yours are blue,” Wally stated, as if it was proof that what Cisco was saying could not possibly be true.

Barry just looked hurt.

“Guys, let...let him explain,” Caitlin suggested weakly, as if she, too, couldn't believe him.

“That's a good idea, I want to hear the rest of what Cisco has to say,” Cecile said, louder and more firmly.

Cisco found himself taking a step back from the shocked, wounded expressions on his friends’ faces. “I...I'm sorry.”

In a burst of speed that was over so quickly that Cisco didn't have time to register it before it was already over, Barry was standing in front of Cisco. The pair of meta-human cuffs were clipped onto Cisco's wrists.

“No--take them off, please!” Cisco said. “Barry, I--”

“I'm not letting you disappear again,” Barry said harshly. “You have to explain yourself, Cisco, because I can't imagine an excuse that would make me want to take those off of you.”

“I'm not running away, I'm here to explain myself!” cried Cisco. “Take them off , I'm not going anywhere. I promise, Barry, I'm not going anywhere!”

“Barr, take them off,” Joe said. He stepped forward and grasped Barry's shoulder. “This is Cisco. Cisco, your best friend. You need to listen to him.”

Cisco looked at Joe gratefully. He felt sick to his stomach knowing that he probably deserved to be in these cuffs. But the fact that Barry had put them there made it a hundred times worse.

“Joe, he--” Barry couldn't get any more words out without his voice breaking.

“It's okay, Barry, let him go,” Iris said.

Cisco hadn't expected that. Neither had Barry, if the look on his face was any indication. But it was Iris. Barry listened to Iris even when he wouldn't listen to anyone else. So the cuffs were taken off.

“Okay, talk,” Barry said shortly.

“The golden breaches were because of the crystals in the hourglass,” Cisco said. He spoke slowly, deliberately. “They changed my vibrational frequency just enough to change the color. I...I was never, ever going to hurt the twins, never. I would have died before I would have hurt them.”

“You took them away from us,” Iris said. “How could you?” Though her voice was calm now, it made Cisco's heart hurt.

“Because I needed Barry to give himself up willingly,” Cisco explained. For a second, he couldn't meet any of their eyes. Then he raised his chin and made eye contact with Barry. “I was never going to be able to take you in a fight. I was too afraid of hurting you.”

“Why did you take me?” Barry demanded. “What did you do to me?”

“I changed the way your cells use energy so that you can't ever time travel again.” Cisco shoved his hands in his pockets to hide that they were shaking. “It...it wasn't supposed to drain all your energy, that was a stupid mistake. I never meant it to hurt you, and I fixed it and let you go as soon as I could.”

“You...my time travel? Why?” Barry looked bewildered more than betrayed. “Why, Cisco?”

“Because you shouldn't have it.” Cisco's voice was shaking now as well. “Barr, I'm sorry, but I...I did the right thing.”

Barry stared at him. “Cisco. Come talk to me alone.”

“Barry, I don't think--” Joe started.

“I said, I want to talk to Cisco alone,” Barry insisted.

“It's fine,” Cisco said. “I understand.”

“Barry,” Iris said warningly.

He looked at her desperately. “Please, Iris?”

She hesitated. “Fine.”

Barry didn't wait for anyone else's approval. He reached out for Cisco and whisked him away to another part of the lab. “Cisco, why did you take away my ability to time travel?”

“I told you. You shouldn't have it.” Cisco crossed his arms. “You shouldn't have the ability to alter the timeline. Nobody should.”

“If I hadn't been able to time travel--” Barry ran his hands through his hair. “Cisco, is it reversible? Be honest, please.”

“As far as I know, it isn't.” Cisco stood his ground.

“But why ? Cisco, please, I just don't understand! Time travel saved Iris's life, Wally's future--it saved your life, the first time I did it. Cisco, if I hadn't time traveled, the twins would never have been born!” The idea made Barry so distraught that he was choking back tears.

“It shouldn't have been an option in the first place, Barry. Also, you know nothing about the other timeline except for the tiny glimpse you saw,” argued Cisco. “And you already know that your time travel killed Dante!”

Barry flinched. “I...I know, Cisco, but--and I saw enough of the other timeline, enough to know that it wasn't one that anyone would have wanted!”

“Yeah? What did you know about my life in it, Barry?” Cisco asked. He wasn't even angry. He just wanted to make Barry understand.

“Your hands had been frozen off by Killer Frost, you were miserable that the team had split up, and you looked awful, like...like you hadn't slept in days!” Barry said.

“I looked like I hadn't slept in days because I had been awake for the past two nights with my husband, taking care of a month-old baby!” Cisco cried. The moment after he said it, the tears that he had held back for the rest of the conversation finally broke through.

As Cisco watched, Barry's expression went from confusion to realization to horror in a second. He stumbled backwards and slid down against the wall to sit on the floor. “Shit,” he whispered.

Cisco sat down next to him. “Yeah,” he said softly. All of the fight from both of them had disappeared in an instant.

“Shit, Cisco, I...I don't even know...what to say,” Barry breathed.

“Don't say anything. Just let me tell you about it.” Cisco was still crying, but he made himself keep talking. “The baby wasn't ours, she was our best friends’. Their names were Celyn and Kylie. The baby was called Hope Celia. When Top and Mirror Master broke out of prison, Celyn and Kylie went into hiding. They left Hope with me and Hartley.”

“Hartley? You...you were…”

“Married,” Cisco confirmed. “We had Hope for a week before you came along to change things. We had just started talking about having our own children.”

“I'm...Cisco, I'm so…”

“I'm not done. Felicity and Oliver had a baby girl named Rachael. She was born in 2022. She was beautiful, and they were happy.” Cisco had to wipe his tears and take a breath before continuing. “She doesn't exist now. She was adopted, so I had to look into it, but she doesn't exist. And Kylie...Kylie was killed in the shooting at a health clinic last September. Hope died with her. So did three other people who didn't die in the other timeline, a 17 year old and her 2 year old son, and a doctor named Salabha Goodwin. God only knows how many other people's lives changed for the worse.”

Barry was sobbing quietly into his arm.

“Barry, when you time travel, you are trading lives,” Cisco told him. “It's a choice that you should never have been given. Horrible things happened to good people in both timelines, and children were never born. It cannot be up to you to decide which people get what outcome. That's a...a huge, awful decision. It's a burden too big for you or for anyone. You're just human, Barry. You'll always choose the people you love. So would I. If I could have Dante back, and Ronnie, and HR, if I could save Kylie and Hope, I would. But I can't, and that's a good thing . You…” Cisco faltered. “You understand, right?”

It was an agonizing moment while Barry gasped for air between repressed sobs. Then he nodded. “Cisco, I'm so--I'm so sorry .”

“I've already forgiven you, Barr. And I'm sorry, too, for all of the extra pain I caused you by taking the twins. I swear, I would never have hurt them.”

“I know, Cisco, I...I forgive you.”

The relief was so tangible that Cisco released a breath of air that he hadn't been aware he was holding. “Do you think the others will, too?” he asked.

“I think so. I'll make sure they do.” Barry tried to pull himself together, but he broke down again. “Cisco, I really...I…I don't know how I can ever make things better.”

“Promise me that you'll help me stop anyone from ever time travelling again, no matter what,” Cisco requested. “Not Wally, not the twins, nobody. For any reason. Nobody is safe from the timeline changing, including the person time traveling.”

“I will, I promise.”

“And maybe give me a hug?” added Cisco hopefully.

Barry immediately wrapped his arms around Cisco. “I really missed you,” he sniffled.

Holding his friend tightly, Cisco said, “I really missed you, too.”

“Will you stay? Please, Cisco, I…we need you so much. I'll help explain to everyone, and you can stay, and everything will be okay again.” Barry kept holding onto him like he was afraid his friend was about to disappear again. “We'll make it right, everything will be okay.”

Cisco wished he could believe it. “I don't know,” he whispered. “Maybe. I'll try.”

“We just don’t want to lose you again.”

“I--” Cisco swallowed and couldn’t finish his sentence.

Suddenly, Iris’s voice came over the comm system. “Barry, there’s someone outside the Lab!”

Almost before she had finished speaking, Barry had disappeared in a flurry of lightning, leaving Cisco sitting alone on the floor.

“Um--Barry?” Cisco called. “Barry, you can’t just leave me here! Barry!” He got to his feet as quickly as he could. “I don't even know what part of the lab this is,” he grumbled, jogging off in the direction he thought that the Cortex probably was.

As he got closer, he heard shouting. One of the voices was a pretty big surprise.

“Let go of me, or I'll destroy this whole place!” screamed Celyn. “What have you done with Vibe?”

Cisco broke into a sprint. “Whoa, whoa!” he cried, running into the Cortex and sending a small blast towards Caitlin and Wally to knock Celyn away from them. “Stand down, Lumen!”

“Cisco?!” Celyn said.

“What the hell--Lumen, dude, what are you even doing here?” Cisco squeaked.

Wally and Caitlin still looked ready to jump back into action, glaring at Celyn suspiciously. Barry was standing in front of Iris, Joe, and Wally. “Cisco, who's this?” Barry asked. “Lumen--she was with you when you attacked us last October?”

“Uh-huh.” Celyn stared daggers at Barry.

Worried, Cisco put a hand on her arm. He wouldn't blame her if she wanted to attack Barry, but she was showing pretty impressive restraint. “Lumen, Barry and I have talked,” Cisco said quietly. “You don't need to fight any of them, okay?”

Celyn turned and poked him in the chest harshly.

“Hey!”

“Why the hell didn't you let me know you were okay?” she said angrily. “Last I saw you, you breached away from me after collapsing twice in a minute and without answering any of my goddamn questions! I turned on the news and you were fighting Top and Mirror Master in Central City and then the Flash shows up and whisks you away and the cameras weren't close enough to hear you or even see your lips move and then you don't call or even send a goddamn text! Do you know how fucking worried I was?!”

Cisco flinched. “Um...I'm sorry.”

“You better be.”

“But how did you even get here?” wondered Cisco. How had she gotten to Central City from their little house in Ireland?

“A plane. Dumbass.” Celyn was losing the anger in her voice. “When you didn't call, I thought...I don't know what I thought. I just knew I had to find you.”

“Love you, too, pal.” Cisco sighed. “I am sorry I didn't let you know I was okay. It's been...an interesting couple of days.”

“Cisco, care to introduce us?” Iris said coolly.

Cisco glanced at Celyn. “I don't know. You okay with sharing names?”

Celyn hesitated, then shrugged. “Why the hell not? I'm Celyn.”

Cisco could hear Barry inhale sharply and looked over to see an expression of guilt cross his face.

Apparently, Celyn hadn't missed the face either. “You told him?” she demanded of Cisco.

“I had to,” he said tiredly. “I had to tell him everything.”

“What exactly did you tell him?” Wally wanted to know.

“Yeah, I’d like to know that, too,” added Iris.

Even though he knew it was necessary, Cisco didn't want to go through telling the whole story again. His eyes were probably still red from crying with Barry.

“Cisco?” Barry said. “I'll help, okay? It...it's the least I can do.”

Cisco nodded. “You don't have to stay,” he murmured to Celyn. “I'll come find you later if you'd rather not be here.”

Celyn didn't seem too sure. “Guess you don't want to risk me losing it on any of them. I mean, I wouldn't, but might be better if I...wasn't here while you explained.”

“Yeah,” Cisco said.

“I'll...go get some coffee or something. How do I get out of this place anyway?” Lumen asked.

Cisco quietly showed her the way out of the Lab. He turned back around to face the team, most of whom had found a seat in a desk chair or on top of a counter to hear what he had to say. After receiving an encouraging nod from Barry that assured him he had at least one person in the room who didn't and wouldn't hate him, he took a deep breath and began. “I became Retrospect to take away Barry's time-traveling powers. I can see things that you all can't--the way the timeline changed, in more ways than you know. I could see that Barry shouldn't have the power to trade lives, and that he doesn't deserve the burden of responsibility of having that choice.”

“But he's always been careful, right?” Wally argued.

Barry put his hand up. “No, Wally. Not nearly careful enough.”

“It doesn't matter how careful he is. It doesn't matter what your intentions are,” Cisco stated. “The timeline doesn't care that you're just trying to save someone you love. It is impartial and immoral.”

“Cisco, tell them what you told me,” Barry urged.

But suddenly, Cisco didn't want to. Why should he have to tell them about Hope and Kylie, about Rachael and the rest of the Smoak-Queen family, about Salabha, about Hartley? And how could he make them understand that he wasn't trying to say that the other timeline was better than this one? After all, Iris was still alive, and the twins existed. Wally and Caitlin were still themselves. Cisco was so grateful for all of those things, but would they understand that?

“Cisco?” Barry repeated.

So Cisco told them. He told them everything, and ended up crying again more than once. When he couldn't think of another thing to say, another plea for understanding or attempt at an explanation that would be enough, he couldn’t stand up anymore. He sank down to his knees, put his head in his hands, and tried to stifle his sobs that disturbed the silent, heavy atmosphere in the Lab.

“Cisco.” Iris was talking to him, but he was afraid to look up. “Cisco, I'm going to need a while to process this. But...I need you to know that I don't...I don't blame you for feeling like you needed to do this. I mean, I probably...would have done worse.”

“It's a lot to think about, man,” Wally sighed.

Caitlin had slowly inched her chair closer to Cisco while he talked, and now reached out to squeeze his hand. She had tears in her eyes and couldn't seem to speak, but clearly wanted to show her support.

Joe approached him slowly and with an outstretched hand, kneeling down in front of him and putting a hand on his knee. “I wish you had just talked to us about this from the start, son,” he said softly. “Maybe we could have figured out an easier way for all of us.”

“I couldn't risk it,” Cisco said. Addressing Barry, he said, “I knew...I knew you wouldn't have just agreed to have your cells altered. And I know what could happen if I just had you... agree not to time travel. Someone you love would have been put in danger, and you would have gone back on your word immediately.”

“I'm not sure that's fair--” Caitlin started.

“It is,” confessed Barry. “He's right, that's the worst part. And I'm so selfish that I would never have agreed to it, he's right .”

“Not selfish,” Cisco said. “Just human.”

“I understand why you made the choices you did,” Joe told him. “They were hard choices, and I can tell you've had a really rough time of it lately. I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner.” He hugged Cisco warmly.

“I, um, should go find Celyn and figure out what she wants to do, where she wants to go,” mumbled Cisco. “And then, I...if it's okay with all of you, I'd really like to stay in the city for a few days. Can I sleep here at the Lab? I don't...have anywhere else to go here.”

“No, stay with us,” Iris and Barry said simultaneously.

“Please, Cisco,” Barry added. “Come stay with us, okay?”

Cisco mopped at his eyes with his sleeve. “Really?” he asked incredulously.

“Yeah, of course. Cisco, you're our best friend, our family,” Iris said. “We will figure this out.”

“Thank you,” Cisco said. “Thank you, I...I don't know what to say.”

“Don't say anything, just go do what you need to do and then come to our place when you're ready,” Barry told him.

“I was going to ask you to come stay with me, but they beat me to it,” Caitlin said with a smile. She helped him to his feet. “Soon, though, okay? I really, really, really missed you.”

“Back at you,” Cisco said fondly.

“Cisco, whatever else, it is a relief to all of us to know that you're safe,” said Cecile. “We're glad you're home.”

Cisco smiled and gave a weak thumbs up. “Yeah. See you guys soon, I'm gonna go find Celyn. Figure out where she wants to go.”

“Tell her--and I don't know if this is something she'd want in a million years after what...but tell her she has a place here, if she wants it. We would welcome her into the team,” Barry offered.

“I'll let her know.” Cisco waved at them before opening up a breach and following Celyn's vibrational footprints to the quiet alley next to the closest coffeeshop to the Lab. It was no Jitters, but it was nice.

Celyn was sitting at a table outside with a small cup of coffee between her hands. Cisco approached her and sat down on the bench next to her. Both of them were silent for a while. Cisco put his head on her shoulder and breathed in the cool, late winter air.

“How did it go?” Celyn asked eventually, breaking the silence.

“Probably better than I had expected.”

“Friends forgive. It's what they do.” She finished her coffee and tossed the cardboard cup into the nearby trash can.

“I guess so.”

“So what now?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Cisco kept his head on her shoulder, leaning against her comfortably. “Both of us have some...choices. To make.”

“Yeah, I guess we do,” said Celyn. “And you want to stay here.”

Cisco sighed. “Am I that obvious?”

“You've been pining for your friends here since before I met you, and for Central City since we left for Ireland. It really didn't take much effort to come to that conclusion,” Celyn pointed out.

“You can stay, too, you know,” Cisco told her. “Team Flash would welcome you with open arms.”

“It's just not for me, Cisco. I don't want to be some vigilante, or superhero, or whatever you want to call it. I know you remember me as the other me, from the other timeline, but before I met you, I didn't use my powers. I don't like fighting and wearing masks. I was Lumen for you for a little while, but that isn't what I want my life to be.” Her hand found Cisco's and grasped it gently.

“I kind of figured you'd say that, too.” Though he wasn't surprised, Cisco couldn't help but feel a bit of an ache in his chest at the thought of parting ways with Celyn. “You'll keep the suit, though, in case you ever need it?”

“Oh, of course. It's also just a pretty awesome leather jacket, I might wear it all the time,” she laughed.

“I'm cool with that.”

“I like where we were living,” Celyn continued. “I like working as a bartender again, and I like the friends I've made in the town. I'm gonna stay there, Cisco.”

“We'll be half the world apart,” Cisco sniffed.

She elbowed him affectionately. “Well, one of us has teleportation powers, so that's not really an issue, is it?”

“Hey, who's intradimensional breaching are you calling teleportation?” Cisco scoffed, pretending to be offended.

“Yours, ‘cause you made me fly here on an entire damn plane instead of just letting me know you were alive,” Celyn said.

“Oof, fair.”

“You will take me back home, right, ‘cause I really don't want to take another plane ride that long for the rest of my life,” said Celyn. 

“Of course. I, uh, should probably bring some of my stuff home, too.” Home . Cisco had never stopped thinking of Central City as home, but he hadn't allowed himself to refer to it as such for a while. “When do you want to go?”

“Well, I already finished my coffee. I haven't got anything else tying me here.”

Cisco stood up. “Let's go, then.” He opened a breach and stepped through with Celyn, all the way to the cottage on the other side of the world.