Chapter Text
“No vibrant colours, please."
The nurse stood patiently in front of Emily, his eyes pointedly looking at her burgundy scarf. “It may upset the patient,” the man explained, his tone flat and professional. She raised an eyebrow in response but did as she was told, managing to keep her hands from trembling as she reached up to pull at the fabric.
Hypatia’s letter had come at a busy time. Emily had been neck deep in paperwork about the new railways and the trading agreements with Tyvia, running between the court and the parliament every two days to get everyone's opinion with barely any breaks in between. Of course, sleep had also been rare and far too little, leaving her a tired mess that ran on sheer determination and some extra strong tonics - the kind the royal physician would disapprove of. Her days went by in a haze of politics and fatigue, so when she read the contents of the doctor’s letter, it felt like she was finally beginning to lose her grip on reality.
She blinked, distracted, as the nurse unlocked the door. He regarded her for a moment, hesitating, “Do you have no escort, ma'am? The patient can get...erratic. I can send for a guard if-”
Emily cut him off, “That's very kind of you, but I can handle myself.” The man pursed his lips and looked away. He seemed nice enough but the lack of sleep combined with the turmoil caused by Hypatia’s letter was getting to her, turning her mood sour. She handed him the scarf and stepped inside the hospital room without another word.
Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw inside.
The door closed behind her softly as she stood there frozen in near darkness. The room was luxurious - probably reserved for the more affluent patients of Addermire -, but there was barely any light inside. Addermire Institute was a modern building, equipped with whale oil powered lights and medical equipment - Emily had signed the grant for the institute’s annual whale oil needs herself. Even so, it was mid-afternoon and the karnacan sun was high in the sky, warm and blinding and able to provide more than enough light, and the room didn’t lack windows. No, the big glass balcony door had been covered with a thick curtain instead, the kind they used in the northern parts of the Empire where the sun would shine during the night for half of the year.
There was little furniture left inside, pushed to the corners and out of the way: a desk, a chair, a bedside table and a single bed. The bed had been moved around a lot, judging by the shape the carpet was in and the entire space smelled musty, like it hadn’t been aired in a while.
The state of the room didn’t hold her attention for much longer, however.
Something - someone - moved on the bed. The sheets rustled with the slight movement and Emily turned wide-eyed towards the sound, body stiff in alarm. Hypatia had informed her about who she was going to be meeting here, she had even gone into detail about the circumstances that had led to his arrival in the hospital; and yet, Emily couldn’t shake her own fear and disbelief as she laid eyes on the Outsider for the first time in months.
She didn’t move an inch when he reached for something on his nightstand; a box of matches, she realised, and the sound of friction was soon followed by a small flame and a lit candle. Pale long fingers shook slightly making some of the warm wax on the top spill down the sides of the candlestick and onto the metal pan below. He jumped, withdrawing his hand abruptly as if he’d been burned, yet Emily saw no trace of wax on his skin. Her gaze trailed upwards, over the stained simple white shirt he was wearing, over jutting collarbones she had never seen before and a long white scar that stretched across his throat. His eyes were green; a rare light green she had never seen before, but still evidently human, normal.
He was staring without blinking, just like he used to back when she was a fugitive, when he had forced her to see the true face of her Empire. Back then, she had expected it. The enigmatic god of the Void staring into her soul, judging her worth before considering giving her his Mark. Now, it only unsettled her.
“It’s rude to stare, your Imperial Majesty,” His voice came out thin and raspy, like it hadn’t been used in a while, “Have you come to see the spectacle with your own eyes? A fallen god, brought low, unable to even keep up the pretense of normalcy. Am I-” A cough overtook him as he tried to keep talking. It shook him so violently Emily thought his frail body would break.
“Hypatia invited me.” She kept her tone neutral, her mind struggling to reconcile her memory of this man with the present version of him. He looked up at her again, after the coughing fit was over, wiping the traces of blood away from his mouth with his sleeve. Emily continued, “She thought I might be able to help you.”
The Outsider let out a weak chuckle, “Help? There’s nothing you can do, Empress.” With a push that seemed to take more effort than it should have, he brought himself closer to the edge of the bed. Candlelight bathed his features in warmer tones, giving his skin some of the color it lacked. Emily resisted the urge to take a step back. “I can’t even go outside. The sunlight hurts me, everything feels like it’s too much. Even this,” he motioned to the candle, “ I can’t stand its light for more than a few hours at a time.”
Emily’s mark itched at his proximity, probably a symptom of her nervousness about the situation. This wasn’t going to be easy, that much was obvious, but she had already made up her mind to talk to this man. She took her gloves off and threw them on the bedside table before dragging the chair close to the bed. She sat down, expression schooled, “If Hypatia thinks I can help, then I trust her.”
That seemed to pull a different emotion from him. Green eyes darkened dangerously and Emily felt herself panic for a second, wondering what she had said wrong. “Right, the doctor. Ever hopeful and smart, full of solutions and unending empathy.” He talked through gritted teeth, his gaze leaving her face for the first time, “She keeps trying to save me, like Billie Lurk did before her, like you are doing right now. But none of you truly cares about what I want.” his voice rose and quieted again, “There is a special kind of selfishness in helping others, knowing they depend on you, that you have saved them. I don’t want your pity.”
Emily tried not to acknowledge his accusations, “Then what do you want?”
He didn’t answer immediately. His face softened and he seemed to focus on something else. Slowly, he reached out a hand, long fingers brushing against her knuckles. As they traced the faded Mark, she tried to keep still, part of her fascinated by the fact that the man from her nightmares, her dreams, was touching her. Another part wanted to stand up and bolt out the door as reality finally sank in; the Outsider was human again, cooped up in a room in Addermire Institute, talking to her, and this time she was wide awake.
The Mark felt warm, almost as warm as when she first got it, warmer than the skin of the one who marked her. Her powers buzzed, rekindled by his touch, in a way that made Emily’s head swim. She almost didn’t hear his reply.
“I wanted it to end.”
She tensed, “No.”
He made eye contact and her heart dropped. Overwhelming despair filled her, clogged up her throat - like drowning in the endless ocean, held down by the waves, unable to resurface -. She blinked trying to shake the foreign emotion off. How could anyone feel like this and keep breathing?
The Outsider didn’t notice.
“That’s what Billie said.” The corner of his mouth twitched slightly as if he couldn’t remember how to smile. “When I came out of the Void I didn’t feel the difference right away. I just felt...tired. Then the sun I had longed to see with my real eyes for so long burned me, the air was too rich, the sounds and the smells and anything I touched would make me nauseous. It only got worse after that.”
“She was right,” Emily tried to sound stern. A myriad of different thoughts and feelings swam in her head, warning bells going off at what she was about to suggest, but it only felt right. “I can see that your time in Addermire hasn’t helped you in the least.” She stood, her posture regal, and moved to the covered up window, “You’re coming with me to Dunwall. If that doesn’t work I can arrange for a visit to Tyvia.”
She heard shuffling behind her as she reached for the curtain, followed by the sound of bare feet touching the floor. Emily pulled at the heavy fabric, letting a few rays of light through. Then, she peeked over her shoulder at the Outsider, “It’s your choice, of course. I won’t force you.”
He was standing now, staring at her with confusion written all over his face. It would be highly amusing, seeing the all-knowing Outsider at a loss for words, if not for how grim his condition was.
“Why?”, was all he managed to ask after a full minute of silence.
Emily shrugged, deciding to give him a half-truth, “You’ve lived for a few millennia, your knowledge of the Isles and the rest of the world is invaluable. I could use an advisor like you.”
He fiddled with his bloodied sleeve, green eyes staring at the single ray of sunshine spilling across the carpet. “Dr. Hypatia agreed to this?”
Emily nodded. She had talked to the doctor before visiting him, albeit briefly. Hypatia wasn’t the one she’d have trouble convincing about this matter. As if he’d read her mind, the Outsider spoke up again, tone dripping with sarcasm, “I bet Corvo would be thrilled to see me again.”
Emily tried to keep the grimace off her face, “Don’t worry about my father. He’ll see things my way after I explain your role in the Tower.” At least she hoped he would. Corvo was the most stubborn man she knew and if he was against this arrangement he’d tell her so immediately and keep at it until she changed her mind. She held back a sigh and resigned herself to solving this later. “I have to return to Dunwall soon, so I need your answer by tomorrow.”
With that Emily made for the door, pausing to grab her gloves from the nightstand, before turning the handle. The nurse was waiting on the other side and she began to wonder how much of their conversation he’d heard and whether he was to be trusted, when a hand wrapped around her wrist.
“Wait,” the man who used to be the Outsider looked at her with wide green eyes, something resembling hope in his gaze, “I accept.”
Emily smiled and took his hand in hers. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”