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Chapter Text

He had hoped it wouldn’t have come to this. Thor was watching from his spot at the jury of Angels as a young one was being punished for breaking the rules. An important one, however: thou shall not reveal one’s true nature to that of a human creature, being, or society.

His eyes were lined with kohl and his brown eyes pierced the onlookers into frozen statues, too afraid to even move while his eyes were on them. His wings were larger than average. The cream color of the wings shined in the light as gold and red flecks reflected back to Thor’s wandering eyes.

“Anthony, you have been denounced from your title of Guide for the treason you’ve brought upon yourself. You will now be considered part of the Fallen. You will not be able to fly again and you will not be able to be seen by humans.  These are the consequences for your actions and they will start immediately. Do you have any parting last words?”

The smirk on Anthony’s face was telling to his feelings towards being forced to wander Earth for eternity.

“Go fuck yourselves, you entitled pricks.”

Thor saw Anthony be dropped from the clouds. The Fallen one laughed as he dived towards the earth’s surface, spreading his arms wide and welcoming the ground like an old friend.

“Now that was our only trial for today, everyone is dismissed.” The judge locked eyes with Thor. “Except for you, Angel. Come with me.”

Thor stood obediently and followed as the judge walked out of the courtroom. When they made it to his office, Thor took a seat in a very comfortable chair that formed to his body perfectly.

“Thor, I suspect you know why you’re here.”

A nod. “I do, sir.”

“Why are you here, then?”

“I voted that Anthony should not be punished for his crimes.”

The judge sighs and tucks his wings away as he sits across from Thor. “You know he broke one of our strictest laws. Why did you think he should not be punished?”

Thor felt tired. He had been fighting the jury on this for two days before Anthony’s sentencing.

“His reasoning was not of selfish motivations.”

It had come to the attention of the council that Tony had shown himself to a human. Most of the laws in place were pretty lax, but this one was strict. There had been few who had gotten away with it and still saw his fellow angels. However, Tony had shown himself under circumstances that allowed him to save the population he had been assigned to. No one wanted to take that into consideration but Thor.

“He should have been celebrated, not punished. We are supposed to be just beings for the Higher Power, not riding on a power trip to hurt our own kind.”

The judge’s wings fluttered in irritation from Thor’s outburst and his face started to redden.

“Since you’re so keen on Tony, Thor, you may fill the occupation he had to leave vacant. You will now be the Guide to North America effective immediately.”

The clouds under Thor opened and he fell through with a whoosh as the wind passed through his wings. He straightened them out just in time to catch himself and glided to a halt in the middle of a desert.

With the sun bearing down on him, Thor could get a good view of his outstretched wings. In the clouds, everyone had white wings. They only had changed when an angel came down to Earth.

At first he was confused. His wings looked black at first glance. He knew he wasn’t Fallen, but it scared him nonetheless. Then he turned just slightly and his wings shifted in color and they were a deep blood red. Thor heard himself gasp at the beauty. He kept staring at them as the red was reflected into the most beautiful ruby color he had ever imagined. He spread them as wide as he could. They were twice the length of his arm span and the lowest feathers brushed the sand just barely. In shorter terms, his wings were huge .

When taking in his wings, Thor noticed people, humans, standing above him from the edge of the crater he had created, casting shadows down onto him. He kept his shields up that kept him from being seen and flew out of the area as quick as possible without being noticed.

Thor reached the clouds and let his new Guide instincts kick in. He could now be able to hear the biggest catastrophes in North America and was able to help resolve them. He was being tugged in multiple directions from Alaska to Mexico, people needed him. There were also dark spots to his senses. These were the Fallen Angels spread throughout his territory.

Thor made a promise to himself that he would help the humans and then he would find Tony, and try to explain that not everyone believed Tony should have been forced to Fall. He was admittedly ready to see those kohl-lined eyes once more.

Chapter Text

Years had passed since Thor had started to be North America’s guide. He was very dedicated to his job and the humans he served. The angels from other parts of the world constantly gave him compliments for his success.

It was clear that North America hadn’t been this well off in a long time, if ever. Thor had made the people the happiest they had been in a long time. He was taking cases that didn’t even really need him. Just yesterday he guaranteed a high school senior admittance and a full ride to his dream college when no one else thought he could do it.

The downfall to Thor being so good at his job is that he had a lot of free time on his hands. It gave him time to dress for the trends of the western world. He recently gravitated to the more pastel colors available to him, especially pink. He usually stuck to dark jeans with a light pink v-neck or henley covered by a grey blazer and a matching pocket square. Thor had also taken a liking to suede ankle boots that gave him even more height to his gigantic form. When makeup became popular for more masculine presenting people, Thor decided to add highlight on his cheekbones to his everyday look. His only accessory, though, was the black ponytail holder on his wrist.

The rest of his free time was used to prank the Fallen Angels in his domain. Most didn’t appreciate it because they thought he was abusing his right of being a Guide, but that wasn’t true for one of Thor’s only friends. There was Loki, a Fallen Angel that is pure mischief. One time he pretended to be a snake and stabbed Thor. Not anywhere that would have caused permanent damage, but anytime Loki heard Thor talk about it, Thor could see a smug smirk on his friend’s face.

But when Loki couldn’t be found, the fashion hadn’t changed, or there was no one to help, Thor searched for Tony. These moments were rare and few, so he had made little progress. None of the other Guides knew where Tony was, and the Fallen Angels refused to tell him, and that was if they knew anything at all.

~*~

When Tony Fell, he didn’t think they’d drop him off at the scene of the crime. He was back in Philadelphia, but everything looked better. There wasn’t any rubble or even buildings in the middle of being put back together. Everything had been fixed in the time he had been gone. Tony was quick to find James Rhodes once again. The last person he was a Guide for.

When Tony first met him, Rhodes had been shot in a drive by and was paralyzed from the waist down. He was struggling with himself and falling into depression. Tony had felt his call so strongly he had been physically pulled towards Philadelphia. What he found wasn’t someone who was at their wits end. He found James Rhodes, a boy sweating in his own living room trying to stand up from his wheelchair without assistance.

Tony landed by one of Rhodes’s front windows and James turned his head immediately. He was looking straight at Tony, but that couldn’t be possible. Tony checked and triple checked his shields. This human should not have seen him.

“Stop looking in here like some creep. Go away.” Tony’s wings fluttered and puffed up. He was interested, and instead of leaving, he knocked on the front door. He waited patiently as his newest person got back into his wheelchair and came to open the door for him. “I told you to go away.”

“I can’t go away. You can see me. I have to find out why.” Tony wasn’t the best with his words, but tried his hardest to explain to Rhodey who he was once he was inside the house. His wings were completely hidden so he couldn’t use them as proof, but it didn’t seem like he needed to show them. Rhodey believed Tony.

After that, they had become inseparable. Well except when Tony had to go to Guide other people. He always came back to Rhodey, though.

Everything was going well until destruction came to Philadelphia. Rhodey was meeting with his counselor at his high school when a shooter was reported to be on the campus, on the floor below the counselor’s office. Tony’s senses went haywire as a catastrophe was happening in the same building as his friend. His instincts were screaming to get Rhodey. Make sure Rhodey was safe.

Tony got there and it was chaos. People were running, panicking and screaming, trying to find some place to hide. He knew Rhodey was still alive because his body was radiating with it. He heard Rhodes before he saw him.

“Tony! Oh god, Tony! Help me!” Tony ran and saw Rhodey under a desk and shaking from fear and adrenaline. He couldn’t protect Rhodes in his shielded form. He’d have to show himself to Rhodey and whoever else was around to save him. Tony didn’t hesitate.

He dropped his shield, running straight for the shooter as he rounded the corner towards them and tackling him to the ground. Tony heard Rhodey sob, motivating him to continue. He got the shooter disarmed and unconscious. While bracing himself for his best friend’s reaction, he turned to face him. Rhodey’s eyes were glazed over and tears were falling quickly from Rhodey’s eyes. Tony was quick to cover them as he shielded himself once more.

Tony dropped his hand from Rhodey’s eyes and smiles shyly at his friend. “Let’s get you out of here, honeybear.” Tony picked Rhodey up, and carried him out of the school. He set him down by an ambulance. “I’ll be back for you. I have to go see the rest of the wreckage.” He got a weak nod in return. Tony flew back into the school as quickly as he could.

That was the last time he saw Rhodey until after his trial. He got pulled into the clouds and was immediately tried for his crime against the Higher Power. There was not much he could do because he was too exhausted to deal with the Angels’ bullshit.

Tony was excited to see Rhodey again when he returned, but Rhodey could no longer see him. Probably couldn’t even sense his presence anymore. So Tony stuck to moping and keeping an eye on him.

Tony was wrong about one thing though: Tony got hints that Rhodey knew he was there. He would leave notes for Tony around his dorm, leaving Tony with a smile and him looking forward to when Rhodey returned from classes

When Rhodey was alone in his dorm room, he would talk to Tony. Tony couldn’t reply but it was reassuring to think Rhodey believed in him enough to still have one-sided conversations with him.

That’s how their days went from then on. Tony would help Rhodey with homework, forcing his will on the right answer so Rhodey got it.

While Rhodey slept, Tony looked out the window and thought about if there would be anyone out there who wouldn’t look at him like he was an outcast. Only Guides and other Fallen could see him now. Guides ignored him and Fallen looked at him with pity even though they were in the same boat. He fell asleep at that window many times thinking the same thing: would he ever be really seen again?

~*~

Thor was on his way from Canada to New York when he got stopped by a mysterious Fallen Angel at the border. Their wings were almost completely bare of black feathers. Thor could tell they had been on Earth for a long time from that fact alone. Once Fallen had been on Earth for a millenia, they became like the wind, a memory for only those who knew them.

The Fallen Angel leaned in close to Thor’s ear and whispered something gentle before he dissolved into rotten feathers. Thor had to take a deep breath. Thor had never seen an Angel die, and this Fallen Angel’s last words had been where he could find Tony.

Fall could take measures that allowed them to stay longer like helping Guides and being kind to humans even though they couldn’t be seen. Thor knew that Tony could outlast him if he wanted to, but the thought was scary nonetheless. He didn’t want to find out that Tony had turned to feathers before he could apologize.

However, the news was that Tony had been spotted in Massachusetts. Thor couldn’t fly fast enough to find Tony. It had been years since Tony’s fall. Thor didn’t know if the other Angel would even want to talk to someone who had been on the council that sent him away.

Thor would have gotten there faster if duty hadn’t called him at every turn. He had to keep helping humans so he wouldn’t tip off the council or the Higher Power that he was actively searching for one of their Fallen Angels.

He eventually got to Massachusetts and follows the only dark spot to his vision of Guides and Fallen Angels in the area. Barely a sound comes from his boots as he landed on a college campus that was bustling with students. To say the least, Thor was fascinated by Tony’s choice of a place to settle while exiled.

The dark spot tugged at his vision, keeping Thor from really seeing the campus past a busy place full of people. His hands slid into his jacket pockets and he started his stroll to find Tony.

Thor’s blood red wings fluttered nervously as he felt himself get closer. His nerves made his body shake and Thor was happy he made the decision to put his hands in his pockets before meeting Tony. He climbed up stairs inside a science building and found Tony with a human. Which, that couldn’t be possible. Then, Thor realized it was the same human that got him damned to Earth in the first place, making him gasp.

The sound made Tony turn to face him. Tony’s kohl-lined eyes were striking, taking Thor’s breath away. His once bare skin was covered in tattoos and his ears were bordered in silver piercings. As Tony turned to fully face him, Thor could get a good look at all of him. Thor wasn’t the only one to keep up with trends, but Tony had taken a different direction. He had a perfectly fitting leather jacket on that sat over a faded band tank top that barely made it to the top of his ripped black skinny jeans. The combat boots he was wearing added an extra inch and a half to his height. His only accessories were fingerless leather gloves and long, thin silver necklaces that ended at his naval.

“Can I help you?” The sharp tone brought Thor out of his thoughts as he met Tony’s eyes once again.

“I’ve been looking for you.” Thor’s hands stayed stuffed in his pockets as Tony looked him up and down, taking him in.

Thor watched as Tony glanced over him, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious about his crop top and the glistening belly button ring he had on display. Thor’s wings puffed up, ready for any challenge Tony was willing to present.

“Woah there, big guy. Don’t get your feathers in a twist. Let’s go outside.” Tony patted the shoulder of his friend as he walked out. There was a quiet bye Tony as Thor shut the door behind them. “So what’s a Guide like you looking for a Fallen Angel like me?” Tony crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the closed door.

Thor saw the black at the end of Tony’s tan wings. The transition had already begun.

“I want to apologize for how the council treated you and your case. You did what you needed to do to save innocent lives. They couldn’t understand that. I am deeply sorry.”

“The Higher Power doesn’t know you’re here. Neither does the council.” Thor blinked a few times at Tony’s blunt reply.

“No, I’m here only on the behalf of myself.” Tony still didn’t believe Thor. “You don’t trust me. I understand. But I do believe you had every right to break our laws. You should not have been casted down as you were.”

Tony’s arms fell as he stared at Thor, something like awe shined in his eyes. It was gone as soon as Tony blinked, though. “I don’t care if you feel guilty or whatever, but you voted against me anyway. You didn’t stand up for me in court.”

A soft sigh slid between Thor’s lips. “You’re right, I didn’t stand up for you, but I did vote in your favor. I debated with the council all of three days, trying to get people on my side, but when it mattered, I said nothing. And for that, I apologize again.”

It looked like Tony stumbled for his words. Shock was clear on his face as he gaped and continuously opened and closed his mouth.

“Thank you,” is what Tony decided on.

“Friend Anthony, I would like to take you out for coffee tomorrow. We can talk more then. You can choose the time and place.” Tony held up his hand to keep Thor from rambling further.

“I’m free tomorrow from six to eight in the morning. That’s when Rhodey is in training.” Thor didn’t miss the look of worry Tony directed at the closed door. “We can have coffee in his room while he’s gone.”

Thor had expected to have to keep arguing to get Tony to meet with him again.

“Under one condition.” Tony held up one finger up then used it to point at Thor’s belly button ring. “You have to wear this for me to see, big guy.”

“My name is Thor, and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

“That’s one hell of a name,” Tony said as he opened the door back into the lab with a smile. “Wasn’t he like a false god or something?”

Thor laughed. “Yes, and I can tell you more about him tomorrow.”

“It’s a date.” Then, with a wink, Tony closed the door to the lab, leaving Thor out in the hallway to process what had just happened between them.

Chapter Text

The next morning had Thor pacing his room. He wasn’t sure what he was going to wear. He had already made his first impression, but meeting up for coffee felt like he was presenting a second first impression to Tony.

As the clock ticked closer to the time Thor needed to leave, he quickly chose a see-through white button down shirt to go with pastel pink slacks that clung to his legs. With his shirt tucked in, a brown leather belt, and matching leather shoes, Thor was ready to walk out the door and headed back to the college campus.

He landed softly in front of Rhodey’s dorm, sliding his way through the doors and taking the stairs up to the floor and room number written on a piece of paper Tony had somehow slipped into his pocket before shutting the door in his face. Thor double checked and triple checked he had the right room before knocking.

The door opened to a seemingly wide awake Tony. He had on tight black jeans with rips across the thighs and a plain black shirt with a deep V-neck stopping at his sternum. His feet and hands were bare, giving Thor full access to see Tony’s full arm sleeve of tattoos.

When Thor’s eyes made their way back to Tony’s face, Tony had an amused smirk playing at his lips.

“You look good, Tony.”

“You look yummy too, big guy.”

Thor laughed nervously as Tony stepped back to let him into Rhodey’s room. The coffee maker was on and filled with water, ready for the coffee pods to be inserted.

“How do you take it?”

Thor almost sputtered at the question until he realized it was about the coffee, not his preferences behind closed doors.

“Cream and two sugars.”

That set the tone for the months ahead of them. The dates continue, but they vary from the normal coffee dates for a while.

One that really stuck out to Thor was the trip they made to Coney Island to give Rhodey space while he was studying for finals. They hopped on the rides that were mostly empty, taking seats no one else was sitting in. The food was awful, but the company wasn’t so bad.

“I had an amazing night with you, Tony. Thank you,” Thor said as they stood outside Rhodey’s dorm room at close to four in the morning.

“You’re welcome. Call me again when you’re looking for a good time,” Tony said with a wink

With that, he closed the door and Thor left for the night.

One thing Thor couldn’t miss from all of their adventures was how much of a flirt Tony really is. His incessant winking, the light caresses, and fluttering eyelashes could easily send Thor to his knees.

Despite having a great time with Tony, Thor needed to make sure he didn’t get caught by the Higher Power and its soldiers. It was heavily frowned upon for Guardians to interact with the Fallen. Not mention how big of an offence Tony made in their eyes, Thor would be cast down himself.

For that reason, on top of the time he was spending with Tony, Thor was also putting in extra effort to make it seem to anyone watching that he hadn’t changed anything in his day-to-day life. After three months of this, no one has said anything to him, so he was sure nothing seemed a miss.

At their four month mark, Thor and Tony met up under a big oak tree in MIT’s courtyard. As Thor watched Tony walk up to him, his feathers ruffled and puffed up to present. He had to suppress his instincts for them to fully spread and show Tony how big his wingspan was. He didn’t need to court Tony.

Tony stopped a foot from Thor and pulled out a small black box from his back pocket, handing it over to Thor. Thor took it with hesitant hands, but he was glad they weren’t shaking as he opened the box. Inside, there was a thin, silver lightning bolt laying in the silk covered cushion. He wiggled it out of where it sat and his eyes widened when he noticed the type of backing it had.

“A lightning bolt belly button ring? Really, Tony?”

Thor couldn’t help but laugh watching Tony roll his eyes.

“It’s a joke, big guy.”

“I love it, Tony.”

He handed the box back to Tony and started to change out the belly button ring he hand on for the one he just recieved. Finally, once it was in, Thor let Tony admire it by twisting his hips side to side so the light reflected off the new jewelry.

“I do a good job,” Tony mused.

“Was there any ever any doubt?”

The next week, Thor surprised Tony with a gift of his own.

“Thor, I gave you that not expecting anything in return. You know that, right?”

“Of course, Anthony. Open it anyway.”

It was a sleek black box that was no bigger than five inches in any direction. The material it was made out of was soft, but easy to open. Inside was a pair of fingerless leather gloves with golden seams. The seams were thick enough to notice how the gold changed red as light hit them when Tony gently pulled each glove out of the box and put them on.

“A perfect fit,” Thor whispered into the delicate quiet.

From that day on, Tony was never seen without those gloves and Thor only took out his belly button ring to maintain it.

It was a little over six months of knowing each other that Thor was introduced to Rhodey. The experience was baffling based on Rhodey’s ability to see Angels but not their wings. Rhodey couldn’t see Tony anymore, though, since he was Fallen, but he could still sense his personal Guardian Angel whenever he was around.

The two didn’t really know what to talk about past the fact how Tony was their mutual contact. There were awkward pauses between topics until the topic changed to Tony himself.

“He helped me learn how to walk again after my accident. I’ve never met anyone more dedicated to the people he cares about.”

“I do not doubt it, friend. Tony has been more than generous with his time to see me.”

Rhodey sent a bright smile in the direction he sensed Tony to be coming from.

“He is always watching you, James. You have a true Guardian Angel looking out for you. You are rightly fortunate to have Tony by your side.”

A quick glance at Tony let Thor know he was trying not to grin. His mouth was pinched together and a hand covered half of it. Thor placed a hand on Tony’s with a reassuring squeeze. His hand was squeezed back with a reverence.

The next morning, the two men met under their tree again, but this time they were sitting in the grass. Tony had his head resting on Thor’s shoulder while Thor had his hand lying on Tony’s knee.

Thor audibly swallowed before asking a question he had been meaning to ask months earlier.

“Are we dating, Anthony?”

Everything stopped after those three words. Thor had to hold his breath while Tony stared ahead of them. After what felt like eternity, Tony looked up at Thor with the saddest eyes he has ever seen.

He started to push away as he spoke. “We can’t. You know we can’t. The Higher Power needs you, and I’m against the rules.”

Thor was speechless. All he could do was watch as Tony got up and walked away from Thor just in time to see the sun rise, the sky turning a light pink from the sun peeking through the clouds.

The last thing Thor remembered of that moment was seeing the one tear fall down Tony’s cheek before he turned away for good.

Chapter Text

When Thor watched Tony walk away, he hadn’t thought that he would disappear. A month passed of him waiting under their tree, waiting for Tony to come back. It led to him being anxious and it showed in his work. He wasn’t doing all that he could to help humanity. His mind was elsewhere.

It was only made worse when he talked to Rhodey.

“Please tell me you know where he is,” Thor begged as he walked into Rhodey’s room.

Rhodey looked at him with sad eyes. “I haven’t felt him around me for a while, Thor. I’m sorry.”

Thor’s eyes started to sting. It hit him hard as it finally sunk in.

“He’s not coming back, is he?”

Rhodey said nothing as Thor ran out of the room and through the wall.

A few more months went by where Thor couldn’t focus on anything. He tried to keep being a Guide, but it wasn’t long until he was summoned to meet with the Higher Power Court.

“Thor, do you know why you are here?”

Thor shook his head.

“Why did you spend so much time in Massachusetts? Our records show you did not have any humans in trouble here.”

Thor looked up at the Angel reading off a golden piece of paper with the information that could lead to casting him out.

“I enjoy the sights there.”

The Angel raised an eyebrow and chuckled softly. “Thor, you cannot fool us. You visited regularly for six months then stopped abruptly. Were you perhaps visiting someone?”

Thor paused and took in the Angel’s face. There was something hard and unwavering in their eyes. He held their stare.

“Why do you ask, if you already know?”

“I wanted to see if you were paying attention.” The Angel’s gavel slammed down, making Thor jump slightly. “You are suspended for two years for having ongoing relations with a Fallen Angel. You will stay here while a temporary placeholder takes over your job. Your time starts now.”

In a blink of an eye, Thor was in his old room. The only thing different was there was no longer a door to leave. He had windows to look out into the sky, but if he could guess, they were sealed shut.

A glance at his wings let him know that they were back to their bleak white. His closet was full of solid white clothes. It was a few moments of looking at everything that hadn’t changed about his space that he realised he had been tugging at his lightning bolt. That shook Thor out of his daze, sending him down to the floor with a soft thud of his knees onto his carpet.

He found that he couldn’t move from this spot. He felt paralyzed to his core. Thor stayed on his floor for hours, days even. He wasn’t sure. His hands shook whenever he tried to stand so he settled for laying down. An indention slowly formed around his curled up body from his weight on the carpet.

A month had passed before he could sit up again. Without thinking, he reached on top of his desk and grabbed a pen and a notebook. He flipped to the first clean page and started writing.

Fuck you, Tony.

I miss you so much. They have locked me in my old room. Do you remember those blocks they would keep us in? Yeah, I am back in one. I do not know where you have run off to, but do not leave Rhodey alone too long. You two depend on each other too much.

I think I have been here a month, at least. I cannot decide if I want to hug you or punch you for your reasoning for disappearing. I have not been sleeping well, if at all. It is all on you. You did this to me. You stole my heart then tore it to shreds. I hope you are happy in your isolation.

Thor threw the notebook across the room and frantically wiped the tears falling quickly down his cheeks. His body shook with rage and his chest felt like it was going to break open. His heart could not take this much torture.

It took a few minutes for Thor to be able to calm down. His eyes started to droop shut and with a yawn he climbed into bed. Something about writing that letter settled something for Thor. Of course, crying it out helped some too.

~*~

Tony,

I have been kept in my room for four months now. Today, though, I got a gift for good behavior. I can now open my windows for fresh air. I will not ever take that for granted again. I keep it open at all times.

I long for you. There is not a day that goes by that I do not miss you. Take care of yourself. I will come back to you soon.

Big Guy

~*~

Anthony ,

Five more months have passed since my last letter to you. I know these will not make it you and I will never show them to you. I do not even know if I will ever see you again. I keep these letters hidden from everyone. However, I still address you by name so if something were to happen to me here, someone might be kind enough to bring these to you.

Say hello to Rhodey for me.

Thor

~*~

Thor opened the singular drawer on his desk and looked at the notebook. It had been just over a year since he had been locked in his room. Although he was free to roam as of two months ago. The Higher Power kept him busy with miscellaneous tasks. But now, on this early morning, Thor had the time to sit down and write to Tony.

Anthony,

Another four months have passed. I do not know what to say to you. It has been too long. I am no longer angry or sad even. I only miss your presence and the way you made me feel. Your smile is burned into my brain and I hope to see it again. How are your wings doing? I assume they are verging on the edge of half black by now. I bet they look beautiful. Mine are back to white and they are so boring to look at. I look forward to the day I can see their red feathers once again. Take care of yourself, Anthony.

Thor

Thor closed the notebook and slid it back into its hiding spot so he could get ready for the day. He could only hope that Tony’s days were going better than his.

~*~

Thor stumbled into his room, using the door frame to keep him up. With only six months left of his suspension, he was finally on the good side of his old friends again. Tonight, they had gone to a party and Thor had forgotten how much more powerful the mead was here compared to the liquor on Earth. He was able to make it to his desk through the haze and dizziness. He took out his journal and felt himself tear up. Tony had been out of his life for a year and a half now. However, Thor could not find the will to get over him. He opened the drawer once more and grabbed his only pen to start writing.

Anthony, Tony, My Angel

I miss you. Nothing is the same without you! They do not have your sense of humor here. I make jokes about being sad and they send me to a shrink. You would have laughed, I am sure. I wear your jewels with pride whenever I can! I love the lightening bolt. I love…

Thor stopped writing what he was going to say next. Through the fog, he tried to think rationally about really writing his feelings. He decided that since Tony would never see these letters, he was more than safe to vent a little to himself.

I love you, Anthony. I love everything about you. I cannot stop thinking about you. Everyday feels like I am missing something without you by my side. I crave to hear your voice and to tell you how I feel in person. I have troubles remembering your voice some days. I hope you are taking care of yourself and I will come home to you again in time.

Love always,

Thor

Thor closed the notebook soundly and stuffed it harshly back into its spot with his pen. A rub to his eyes told him he was crying and had been for a while. He crawled onto his bed without changing clothes. Crying himself to sleep was never something Thor thought he could say he had done until now.

~*~

He was packing up his room when he came across his notebook. He picked up the slender book and ran his fingers lightly over the cover. The leather was more worn compared to his first day here. With a small sound of interest, Thor sat down on his bed and read through his entries.

They sent him on a roller coaster of memories of his time here. He was being sent back to Earth tomorrow and he had forgotten how angry he was two years ago. The last one made Thor think. Six months had passed and he could still say with certainty that he was in love with Tony. He wasn’t sure what to do with that knowledge. With a determined nod, he grabbed his pen one last time to write one last letter.

Anthony,

I am going back to being a Guide again tomorrow. I do not know how long I will have to wait before I can come and find you. The Higher Power will have its eyes on me for sure. Do not worry about me, I have been well. Only time will tell if you will see that as well.

Yours,

Thor

Thor closed his notebook gently and slid it into the inside pocket of his jacket. Soon after he was officially ready to leave, three knocks hit his door and he was falling back down to New Mexico to start over.

~*~

Finding his stand-in was easy. Thor was polite and dismissed him with a soft thank you. Once the Guide was gone, Thor took a minute to look at his wings again. The deep red was calming and helped him take a relaxing deep breath.

He flew over MIT and didn’t feel anyone familiar in the area. Rhodey must have graduated while Thor was gone and he still wasn’t ready to actively find Tony. Although, he was slightly wanting for Tony to be there when he flew by. A quick turn around and Thor was heading west to California to get back to work.

Chapter Text

Anthony,

I have been back to being a Guide for just over eleven months. I hope you have been well. The job never quits. I admit I am not as good as I once was. I assume it is because I still miss you. It is a tragedy that this letter will end up in a pile with the others I have written since returning.

Forever yours,

Thor

~*~

He placed the letter with the others, adding to the already dense pile of paper and notebooks. A tug for a job had him jerking out of his chair and following his instincts.

Thor landed in the hub of Philadelphia and gasped as his feet touched down, turning immediately to see behind him. Across the street was Jame Rhodes. He looked much older than what Thor had expected. He had a sneaking suspicion that Tony’s disappearance affected more than just himself.

He stretched his senses as far as he could to try and feel Tony as well. Thor’s eyes stayed on Rhodey and willed the man to look at him. Both efforts were useless. Tony was nowhere to be found and Rhodey disappeared into the crowd.

However, now that he new where Rhodey was, Thor could keep an eye on him. He made sure to stay far enough away to not give his position. Rhodes didn’t do anything that was out of the ordinary. He had a practiced schedule and Thor would always be able to know where he was at any given time.

That was until Rhodes got on an airplane and flew overseas to fight his own wars. Thor was there to see him off. As the back of the plane closed, Thor stopped hiding from Rhodey. He saw Rhodes’ eyes widen then a small smile form on his lips. With slight nods shared by the two, James Rhodes flew out of Thor’s jurisdiction.

Even though Thor would not be able to watch over Rhodes, something settled into his chest as he thought about Tony still being there to keep an eye on him. Unlike Thor, Tony was not bound to one area and he could follow Rhodey onto the battlefield.

Things had plateaued when Thor found Rhodey, but now he was gone as well. This sent him deeper into his own darkness. Other Guides would come and visit him, offering help and support, but the looks in their eyes told him they were there to stare like he was a zoo animal.

He could tell they don’t understand. Any kind of negative emotions were foreign to most Guides. They sensed others but couldn’t feel it themselves. There were days he was sure he was going to punch one of them if he was asked if he was okay one more time.

“I just want to hide from them,” Thor wrote in one of his letters to Tony. And he tried his best. He wore baggy pants and too big sweatshirts to make himself less noticeable. He couldn’t care less in the mornings, tying up his hair in tight loose ponytails and only brushing his teeth.

Whenever he would change hoodies, he’d see his lightning bolt belly button ring. After so long, it brought more fondness than sadness as he pulled down a hoodie to cover it up and forget about it until he took the sweatshirt back off.

Last thing Thor did in the morning was tuck his wings away so compactly that his back would be sore and his shoulders would be strained by the end of the day. Not to mention how painful it was to use his flying muscles now.

~*~

Anthony,

Come back to me soon.

Always yours,

Thor

Chapter Text

It was a slow work day that had Thor making his way to MIT once again. The sun shined high in the clear sky, contrasting significantly against Thor’s mood. It was cooling down in the north east and leaves were falling from the trees. They crunched under his pink shoes as he crossed the courtyard. With the change in seasons, his sweatshirts and dark pants started to fit in again.

He was about to leave when he felt a familiar presence behind him. It made Thor turn quickly to see maybe his worst nightmare. Before him stood Tony, but it took Thor a second to realize it. A black hood covered his head and he couldn’t see any piercings on Tony’s face. He looked sick without the black kohl around his eyes. Tony’s feet shuffled in the fallen leaves as he let Thor take him in.

“Hey, big guy.”

Thor stumbled over words in his head while he tried to speak, making it harder to process who was in front of him, “You...you’re not - you can’t be real.”

In a rush, warm hands were holding Thor’s cold cheeks. He closed his eyes for a second, taking in the feeling of Tony. Tony . His eyes opened again in a flash. For a few seconds, all he saw was the breaths passing between their mouths. Seeing those puffs reminded him to keep breathing even through his chest tightening.

“I’ve missed you,” Tony whispered.

Those words broke something in Thor, causing him to step back out of Tony’s hands. The immediate cold sent a shiver down his spine. Tony reached out for him again, but Thor avoided it, crossing his arms over himself as a physical defense. The look on Tony’s face when Thor lifted his head to see it was hurt, but mostly confused.

He felt the tug on his hands from his mind to reach out and touch again. He pictured them underneath the tree once more, only this time Tony was in his lap and they laughed even more. Tony would kiss him underneath that tree and he wouldn’t leave him. He only hoped that Tony wanted the same thing and that was why his eyes looked wet. Not that Thor had rejected him. He couldn’t handle the idea of him being the reason Tony looked so heartbroken.

“We can’t do this, Anthony.”

A small gasp echoed through the courtyard.

“Thor, don’t. It’s Tony. You know you’re closer to me than that. Don’t call me Anthony. Please.” The last word was barely above a whisper. Thor almost missed it.

“N-Not anymore,” Thor straightened up to his full height, feeling a rush of confidence he wished he didn’t need, “Not after years of nothing from you.”

He spread out his wings to their full width for the first time in a year. The bones creaked from disuse and he flapped them to warm up the muscles. Tony’s joined Thor’s. They had gotten darker, the black that was at the ends of his wings was now creeping towards the middle. The challenge was present in Tony’s tense posture. His jaw was tight and his cheeks were wet with fresh tears.

“Don’t go, Thor. You know I can’t follow,” Tony demanded.

“Maybe that is the point,” Thor conceded before pushing off the ground, hovering a few feet off the ground. With a hard swallow he was able to talk again, “Goodbye, Anthony.”

A grand push of his wings and Thor was flying away from Tony, unable to look back and see the crying man he left behind.

~*~

Thor dropped into a forest somewhere in Canada and let go of his spell to hide himself from humans. With it gone, he could leave permanent damage on the things around him. It was something about not having eyes on him anymore that allowed him to turn to the closest tree and punch through it. The crunch of bone on the bark was satisfying to Thor’s ears. He reached into the hole he made with both hands and pulled apart until the tree split down the middle. His wings fluttered with the amazing feeling it brought.

The trees surrounding the first found a similar fate, but each one got a little more creative. One tree was kicked at the base until it fell and Thor could snap it into pieces on his knee. Another was peeled of its branches and shred of its leaves before he eventually demolished it.

Once the adrenaline wore off, he slumped to the ground in the middle of his circle of trees, staring down at his bloodied hands and ripped clothing. His shield goes back up in time as a gut curdling scream was ripped out of his chest. Thor’s body shook like the leaves around him as he was able to release anything and everything that had been built up. Tears blurred his vision and snot blocked his nose. In between wailing, he breathed heavily and quickly, trying to regain enough air to scream again.

He folded over his knees, his wings covering him from his instincts yelling at him to protect, protect, protect . An unseen enemy wreaking havoc on his heart and tearing him from the inside out. The howling faded out when Thor loses his voice from the exertion. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the notebook with his letters to Tony. His world turned red as he looked at the leather backing, opening to the first letter and going to rip it out, rip them all out. He stopped abruptly, reading the first letter then the next, and the one after that. Tears flowed easily as he was reminded of how much he loved Tony. How he would have given anything to see him again.

He mourned his love that evening. He mourned when he put the notebook back into his pocket, and he mourned when he put the forest back together. Thor leaned his head against a trunk, resting his hands on it as well. One more deep breath was all he needed before he headed out to get some sleep.

Chapter Text

The world seemed at ease a few months later. The worst of Thor’s heartbreak had passed. Although, sometimes, he saw someone and they had the same hair and build as Tony, causing him to turn and stare. Thor would feel a bolt of excitement then felt it tear in half when he realized that it wasn’t Tony. It was hard to get over someone who he never really got closure with. He had never planned on needing to.

If Thor really put his mind to it, he remembered that it had almost been a year, more than a few months, since that last encounter with Tony. He hadn’t realized time passed this quickly, but it made sense when all of his days blended together between his lack of sleeping and the amount of mead in his system. He was aware of the consequences of his coping choices, but he couldn’t fathom the thought of facing life without them.

If Thor wanted to be honest with himself, he could admit how much he missed Tony and his quick-wittedness. But he didn’t have the time for that. There was always someone who needed a Guide, a task to keep him busy and keep Tony out of his head.

This particular morning, though, there was nothing. There wasn’t a single call to him for help. Hands stuffed in his pockets, Thor walked through a bustling city. His wings were pulled so tight against his back, even though no one could see him, that he was forced to keep his back straight, causing an annoying soreness at the base of his spine to grow maddening.

Right when he started to relax his shoulders, there was a sharp pull to his elbow, pulling him towards the east. It felt like a strong hand around his upper arm yanking him with a significant amount of aggression. He tried to process what was happening, but before anything could click, he was being pulled again and again. Something was severely wrong and all Thor could hope was that it wasn’t Tony.

Thor didn’t remember the flight over, but he remembered the feeling of dread when he saw the smoke in the distance coming from MIT. As soon as his feet touched the ground, he was running into the flames. He checked through all his senses to feel anyone still stuck inside the burning dorm hall.

A black spot was coming up quickly behind him and past him before Thor could blink. Tony . Then he felt it too. There was someone stuck in a room. He didn’t hesitate to follow. The muffled screaming got louder and Thor dropped his magic covering so he could start running into the door.

“It’s Rhodey! Rhodey’s in there!”

Thor took one final kick at the door knob, busting it open. It gave him just enough time to shield himself again. Tony was pushing past Thor and trying to grab Rhodey.

“Do something! I can’t ! Help him, Thor! He can’t-” Tony’s voice cut out, throat hoarse from yelling over the roar of the flames. The fire reflected against the tears coming down Tony’s face.

Thor hadn’t stopped moving, instead, following Tony into the room and grabbing Rhodey, throwing him over his shoulder and fireman carrying him out of the building as fast as he could. The benefit of this fire, he couldn’t help but think, was that no one is around to see a floating body being carried through a burning building.

They got outside and Thor put Rhodey on grass a fair distance away from the wreckage. It didn’t take long for firefighters to find them, well Rhodey, and take him into the ambulance. Tony hopped inside with the paramedics then looked back at Thor. He looked cleaner and more put together than the last time they saw each other. Healthier might even be a good way to describe the life back in Tony’s eyes.

“Aren’t you coming?”

Thor shook his head. “I have to stay here and make sure everyone is okay. I’ll come find you.” Tony didn’t look convinced. “I promise.”

The doors to the ambulance closed on Tony’s scared face, taking him and Rhodey to the nearest hospital. With a deep breath, Thor headed back into the flames.

~*~

It was a few hours before the physical pull on Thor subsided. He was able to breathe normally now that the weight of duty was no longer sitting on his chest. The last ambulance was about to leave, so Thor hopped in and rode it over to the hospital that he expected Rhodey and Tony to be at.

It was a flurry at the hospital. People rushed past Thor to get the last of the students who had gotten stuck in the dorm after the fire started. He hopped off the ambulance and made his way behind the ER desk. A nurse was looking through a clipboard of everyone who came in. All it took was a glance for the last name Rhodes to get him the room number he needed.

Thor was down the hall with just a push of his wings. The door was open, so he walked in with a light knock on the door. Tony had climbed into the bed with Rhodey as he slept. Thor was sure it had to look weird with Rhodey all the way to one side of the tiny hospital bed.

Rhodey was a little worse for wear, bandages wrapped around his hands and arms. He was also covered by Tony’s darkening wings as well as the hospital sheets.

Tony had looked up at the knock and significantly brightened at the sight of Thor. The look on his face felt like twisting a dagger into Thor’s open wound of guilt. Tony hadn’t wanted anymore time away from Thor, but Thor had pushed him away for almost a year without any attempt at contact. He felt like he didn’t deserve the look on Tony’s face, his happiness at just the sight of Thor.

He rested a hand on Tony’s shoulder when he tried to sit up.

“No need. I only wanted to check in on you two. How is he doing?”

Tony’s hand was quick to grab a hold of Thor’s and hold it close so he couldn’t move away any further. Thor didn’t try to pull back, leaving his hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“He’s fine,” Tony whispered. “Nothing severe. He’ll heal.”

“What about you, Anthony? How are you?”

There was a brief pause. While Tony kept his eyes on Rhodey, he put his hand on Thor’s, grip tight, never wavering. It felt like an eternity before Tony spoke again in his hushed voice.

“I miss you, Thor.” Tony finally looked back at him, tears brimming his eyes. “It’s been years it feels like. I regret that day under the tree with every cell in me. I left, and then there was a different Guide where you were supposed to be.” Tony spit out the word Guide like a curse. “When you were back, though, I didn’t even have the courage to face you like I should have. Now, I’m crying in a hospital ER room with an unconscious Rhodey and the Angel of my dreams looking at me like I’m a mental case.”

Thor used his free hand to reach out and wiped away the tears on the open side of Tony’s face. The way Tony leaned into it almost broke Thor’s heart all over again.

“Anthony, I have thought of you everyday since our parting all those years ago. I cannot stop thinking about you. Seeing you, it’s like I know the thing I’m missing is right in front of me and I do not have it in me to claim it.” Thor leaned over Tony and pressed his forehead to Tony’s, closing his eyes. “I yearn for the day I can have you back in my life.”

“Why can’t that be now?” Tony barely murmured.

A deep breath in and slowly let out, Thor opened his eyes to look at Tony. Only sincerity and honest hope was seen in his eyes.

“You would want that? After all of this?” Thor pulled back when Tony tried to kiss him. “I need to hear you say it.”

Tony laid his head back on the pillow. “Tomorrow, by the tree. I need more time to think.”

Thor watched as Tony swallowed hard and flicked his eyes down to Thor’s lips. Tony knew what he wanted, it seemed. Thor gave a firm squeeze to his shoulder and a small, warm smile. What was twelve hours when they had waited this long already.

“Tomorrow, then. It’s a date.”

Tony looked back at that with an incredulous look on his face. “Are you sure you wanna make that commitment already?”

Thor laughed for real for the first time in a long time. “I’m always sure about you, Anthony.”

He watched Tony try to fight off a smile as he hid himself behind his wing.

Chapter Text

The next day, Thor stared at himself in front of a mirror in just his pajama pants. His lightning bolt ring was in its place, hanging delicately from his bellybutton. He looked over to his bed where a pastel pink suit with a white button up was laid out. He hadn’t had the need or motivation to wear something this nice in what felt like an eternity. Gently picking up the pants, he started to get dressed.

Once dressed, he pulled down on his shirt sleeves and clasped rose gold cufflinks to keep it all snug. A quick job of his leather shoes and he was fully dressed, passing on the silver tie he had lying out as well. The shirt was just sheer enough that the belly button ring could be seen with the right angle. It was covered when Thor buttoned his blazer closed.

The last thing was his hair. It laid limply on his shoulders after his shower and rough combing to get the tangles out. He ran his fingers through it and separated half from the rest, braiding it down and tying it off when a small elastic. It was refreshing to not have hair in his face anymore. It felt like something finally clicking into place; like he was doing the right thing for once.

Thor turned back and looked at the notebook on his bed. It was all worn down from years of use and letters to Tony. If they were going to start over, Thor knew Tony needed to read them so he picked up the notebook and a blanket before leaving for MIT.

~*~

He was welcomed by a well-dressed Tony standing under their tree with hands in his pockets. He was striking in his own suit that was a deep red. The shirt underneath was black and buttoned all the way up to his neck. As Thor got closer, he saw blood red cufflinks and a series of black piercings through his left ear.

When Tony fully turned around, Thor had to catch his breath. The kohl eyeliner was back, but not as thick. Just enough to give immense attention to his amber-colored eyes. His facial hair was trimmed perfectly and Thor couldn’t remember a time Tony looked this put together.

Thor stood in front of Tony for only a brief moment before he was smothered by Tony’s embrace. Tony’s touch sent a graciously warm feeling down Thor’s back as they held onto each other. Tony smelled like pleasant spices and mint aftershave. Oh, how Thor had missed this.

“Okay, big guy, I get it. You missed me,” Tony laughed out.

The two stepped away from each other and Thor gave Tony a shy smile before leaning in to kiss his cheek.

He held up what was in his hand. “I brought a blanket to sit on and a gift for you.”

“Funny, I brought you a gift as well.”

The blanket was laid out under the tree and Thor sat down, expecting Tony to sit next to him. Except, Tony promptly sat in Thor’s lap like old times, leaning his head back on Thor’s shoulder to look up at him.

“I hope this is okay.”

“More than.”

Tony nodded and reached into his breast pocket pulling out a small velvet box. “You seemed to like the jewelry I’ve picked out for you in the past.” He shifted in Thor’s lap so he could brush his fingers against Thor’s belly button ring. “So here’s something new, a little more public, you could say.”

Thor gently took the box from Tony’s hand and snapped it open. Inside on silk covered padding was a hammer pendant attached to a small chain.

“It’s Mjölnir. The hammer of the Norse god Thor, who I assumed you were named after. The god of lightning.”

He tenderly pulled the necklace out and offered it out to Tony. “Will you put it on for me?”

Slender fingers took the necklace and unclasped it. Those fingers brushed Thor’s neck as they past to the back of his neck, carefully hooking the new jewelry onto Thor. Tony sat back and stared at his hand work before looking up at Thor.

“Anthony,” Thor started, “you know we’re going to have to be careful about this. We could both get into serious trouble if we get got.”

Tony nodded. “I know, but you’re worth it.” He grabbed Thor’s hand and kissed his knuckles. “You had a gift for me?”

Suddenly, the notebook in his jacket weighed ten pounds and he could feel his heart beating against it. “Yes, but you have to come back to my place to have it.”

That got Thor wiggling eyebrows and a short chuckle. “This better be a physical gift and not some weird prelude to sex.”

They both got up, laughing, and walked to Thor’s house. Somewhere along the way, Thor’s hand bumped into Tony’s and Tony laced their fingers together.

~*~

The two of them stepped through the threshold and shoes and jackets immediately came off.

“You can make yourself comfortable, Anthony. I will start a pot for tea and coffee while I get that gift for you.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Thor disappeared back into the small area by the door and pulled out his notebook. This little thing carried so much of Thor in the last few years from the anger he never showed to confessions of love. He clutched it to his chest as he went into the kitchen to get the pot of water started.

When he turned around to head back into the living room, he stopped dead in his tracks. Tony had taken off his shirt and laid across half of the couch, basically looking like a gorgeously tattooed meal. Tony shifted and Thor’s face heated at the sight of Tony’s nipple piercings.

“See something you like, big guy?” Tony asked when he caught Thor staring.

Thor’s shoulders relaxed as he walked into the living room. He was smiling when he spoke. “Yes, actually. You are quite beautiful, Anthony.”

Tony sat up at that, holding out his hands for Thor to join him.

“Um, wait, this first.” Thor handed over the worn notebook and sat after Tony took it with gentle hands.

Thor leaned back into the corner of the couch and without prompting, Tony leaned back into his chest to read what was inside. With this angle, Thor could look over all of Tony’s tattoos while he read Thor’s letters to him. He traced down the ones in his sleeve with a feather light touch, every piece made with a slightly different style.

Thor tensed when he saw the header of one. Anthony, Tony, My Angel . Tony closed the notebook when he had finished reading that specific one.

“There’s still more to-”

Tony turned around and pressed Thor down into the couch by his shoulders. “I am so sorry. For everything. For all the years that I wasn’t there for you. You deserve so much more than that, and I am so grateful that you’re giving me a second chance.” Thor’s hands came up and rested on Tony’s lower back, feather tips just brushing his arms. “I’m a better person now. I’m not running around with hate in my heart anymore. You replaced all of that.” Tony sat back and turned around to show his back. There was a trail of black and white flowers between his wings. Thor couldn’t help but to reach out and touch them. “These flowers are yours. I got them the day I realized I fucked up. The day I realized I had let go of the man I loved.”

Thor pressed his hand more firmly into the skin. That must have been before Thor’s punishment. These flowers looked fully healed and touched up. Tony turned back around with sadness, but mostly hope in his eyes.

“You love me?” Thor whispered.

Tony nodded as he leaned in closer. “Every day since I met you.”

Thor helped close the gap and they were finally, finally kissing. Tony’s hands folded easily into Thor’s hair as Thor’s arms circled around Tony’s waist, pulling him into Thor’s lap. It was a dream come true him. It wasn’t under their tree, but Tony was here in his lap, kissing him like it was the last time. It left him gasping for breath in the few moments they parted to adjust.

Thor pulled away just enough to whisper into their shared breaths, “I love you, too.”