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After he decided at the last minute to join in the Steel Ball Run, Johnny made his way to the paddocks to look at the horses. There couldn't be too many last-minute entrants, right? Well, he'd be sure to find something. He had enough cash to buy the best of whatever was left. And with his horse skills, whatever was left would be fast enough for Johnny to pursue that strange man with the balls and the hat.
And the teeth. He was unable to forget the teeth.
There were enough horses, of various breeds and colors, that Johnny sat watching them for half an hour. In the end, he set his sights on a dun Appaloosa who looked healthy and moved with confidence.
There was a man leaning against the fence of her paddock. His clothes had either collected more dust than anyone else, or were a remarkably realistic dust color.
Johnny wheeled his way over. "Do you own that horse?" he demanded.
The dusty man looked over. "No, but I can call him if you want."
"Yeah, I do." Johnny waited, tapping his fingers, while the dusty guy walked over to to another paddock and spoke to a tall man wearing a bright purple cowboy hat. The Appaloosa, meanwhile, occupied herself with biting at a clump of grass just past the slats of the fence.
The two men strolled back over to Johnny. The apparent owner stood with his hands on his hips, regarding him. "You lookin' to buy this horse, boy?"
"I might be. I'm going to join this race, so I'm checking out some of these horses."
The owner looked at down at Johnny skeptically. "In your condition? I don't--"
"Shut up! Do you sell horses or not?" said Johnny.
"You got me. I'm not going to say no, long as you've got cash."
"I have some of that." In fact, he had brought a great deal of it with him from his father's house. Johnny moved a half-turn closer. "Now can you tell me more about this horse?"
The owner slipped his thumbs into his belt loops. "Sure, she's an 11-year old Appaloosa with--"
"I can see she's an Appaloosa. I know a few things about horses, so get to the point." Although Johnny wondered, for a moment, if he were being overly rude to this horse seller, he forged ahead. For one thing, he wanted a horse, and for another, he might browbeat the man into giving him a discount.
Mostly, he wanted a horse.
He pointed a finger at the horse seller. "If I'm going to be riding the same horse for three thousand miles, I need to know the real details. How does she handle? Any personality quirks I should know?"
The dusty man was hanging around by the paddock, watching this exchange with interest. "Hey, Jim, wasn't this the horse with the terrible personality?"
"Is there something wrong with her?" Johnny frowned harder and looked at the Appaloosa as if he could discern her secrets by staring hard enough. She just stood there, switching her tail at flies and looking in the direction of the beach.
The owner, Jim, glared at the dusty man. "Nothing's wrong with her. Sure, I'll admit she ain't your normal horse, but she's got a lot of useful qualities."
"Such as?" asked Johnny.
"We-ell, she'll keep running even if her rider is set on fire."
"That's quite a horse," said the dusty man with a tone of admiration, possibly to make up for his earlier misstep.
"And though she's a cautious one, she'll run across a crevasse on a bridge three inches wide if she sees it's sturdy enough."
Now Johnny was simply confused. "Is that good?"
"You'd be surprised when this comes in handy."
Johnny glanced at the horse again. She continued to look like an ordinary horse.
"Isn't this the one that doesn't even notice gunshots, Jim?" asked the dusty man.
"That she is, though nobody asked you, Steve."
Johnny's suspicions were renewed. "So you're saying there's some kind of problem with her hearing?"
"No, no, not a thing," said Jim, shaking his head. "She just don't care a lick about the sounds of battle. Like they don't even exist."
This didn't seem relevant, since Johnny was going to ride a horse in a race, not into battle. Still, he had to check her hearing.
"Hey!" he shouted at the Appaloosa, loud enough to cut through the hubbub of the fairgrounds.
She flicked her ears back and glanced in his direction with limpid black eyes, then turned her attention away again. Her hearing seemed normal, then.
"Tell him about the lizards, Jim," said Steve. He sounded excited about the lizards.
"The--oh, them." The owner turned from his dusty companion back to Johnny. "Another thing about this here horse. She's specially bred and trained not to fear dinosaurs."
"Dinosaurs!?"
"You know," put in Steve "those big lizard bones they dig up sometimes."
Halfway through this statement, Johnny decided not to listen to this guy, because he was obviously making shit up. "You have got to be screwing with me," he said, and wheeled around to leave. However, he had only turned halfway when he stopped to watch the dun Appaloosa one more time. She was moving in a slow trot around the paddock--she circled until she wasn't far from Johnny, and looked at him.
"Come to think of it, Jim, how do they train a horse for that when all the dinosaurs are dead?"
"What I heard is, they used them alligators down in Florida."
"Huh. What a world."
The Appaloosa whickered, shaking her head. Johnny had a good feeling about this horse. Her owner and that other guy were probably just a couple of weirdos, which wasn't her fault. Johnny could buy this horse, get on her somehow, and ride away to where he would never have to deal with weird people again.
Yeah. That was a good plan. He'd do that.
"Hey, boy, d'you really mean to join the race?" asked Jim.
Johnny looked back at him. "Absolutely."
"Why're you so gung-ho on joinin' in, if you don't mind me askin'?"
"I have to touch that strange man's ball," explained Johnny.
The two men glanced at each other. "If you say so," said Jim. "But y'know what, you and this horse might suit each other. Seems to me like nothing'll stop either of you."
"Not even dinosaurs," said Steve.
"I still didn't ask you, Steve."
"Hmm," said Johnny. He frowned in thought. On one hand, he knew he wanted this horse, but on the other, he was put off by the owner's behavior--he acted like he was doing a hard sell of unwanted goods.
"Y'know, in a way, this horse is perfect for this race," said Jim, tilting his purple cowboy hat. "You could say this horse has balls of steel."
"I'll take her," said Johnny, convinced in part by his newfound interest in steel balls.
"Great," said Jim. He seemed relieved that the transaction was over. "That'll be ten bucks."
"Only ten dollars?" For a moment, Johnny questioned his purchasing choice, but shrugged away his doubts. "If you say so." He pulled his right leg closer, then reached into his pants and removed the money from his boot, where it was very difficult for anyone, including himself, to reach. In this way, Johnny avoided all pickpockets.
Jim watched this maneuver with a perplexed lift of one eyebrow and proceeded to accept a ten-dollar bill that smelled like feet. He placed it under his hat and nodded to Johnny. "She's all yours."
"Thanks. Now go away. I have to prepare for the race."
"Good luck!" said Steve, and waved.
The two men walked off, arguing about horse breeding.
Johnny's horse, being a horse, did not react to her change in ownership. She nibbled at an already-cropped clump of grass.
But Johnny, being a human, was pleased to have this horse. He rested his hands on the worn, splintered wood of the fence. "Now I'm going to ride you," he said under his breath, "and if anyone tries to stop me, I'll set myself on fire." Although you might not notice.
He was so ready for this race.