Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

'You are so oblivious to everyone around you. You throw yourself into danger without thinking about it would do to your family, what it would do to us and what it would do to me. I love you but you don't see that, you don't notice me and that breaks my heart. I could have lost you I need a few days break get a few shifts in, please take me home.' With that Yaz storms out of the consol room straight to her room waiting to be dropped off home.

The Doctor was taken aback by Yaz's outburst, still stunned she quickly set course for Sheffield.

'Doc are you all right? I'm sure she didn't mean it, give her time to cool off and she'll be back to her usual self' Graham gave the Doctor a reassuring pat on the shoulder 'if it's OK with you me and Ryan will spend some time at home to sort a few bits out'.

'Yeah I need to update my blog, you can come help me if you want.' Ryan added with a look of sadness in his eyes.

'Thanks but I'll just wait here and make some repairs to the old girl. But don't worry, I won't be disappearing I'll be right here.'

With that the TARDIS gave a short beep signalling they had landed. Ryan jogged down the short hall to get Yaz, and without so much of a goodbye she stormed passed the Doctor and out of the TARDIS.

'If you need anything, anything at all give us a call or pop round no matter what time it is'. Graham nodded to the Doctor, and with Ryan trailing behind they bid farewell.

After the door closed the Doctor collapsed next to the consol.

'She loves me' she bowed her head and let a few tears fall 'She said she loves me and I' ve messed everything up'

The TARDIS left out a few sad whirrs and beeps, 'Don't you think I know what I did, what I didn't do and what I should have done. Oh Gods what have I done?'.

The Doctor plucked her welding mask and tool box out of the little cubby next to her and set about busying herself with making a few repairs to her faithful ship.

A few hours had passed and the Doctor made little progress in her tinkering, sliding out from under the consol the Doctor put her tools back where they came from and made her way to her room for a much needed shower and nap.

Sleep didn't come easy,and when it did all she can think of was Yaz, her beautiful amazing brilliant Yaz. The Doctor decided it was time to get moving again, it's only been a few hours since the boys left which make it about tea time, maybe the can drop in on the boys, she can upgrade a few things around the house.

What she didn't realise was it had been more than a few hours since the boys left. Stepping out into the cool night air of Sheffield the Doctor set off walking in the opposite direction to Ryan and Graham's house. Letting her mind wander, trying to figure out how she can fix whatever it was between her and Yaz. After about 30 minutes of walking the Doctor bumped into an object.

'careful where your going, you could' ave …. Oh Doctor what are you doing out so late'

'Oh hello Yaz's mum. M'sorry I wasn't paying attention. I'll leave you to it, sorry' the Doctor hung her head, a fresh set of tear slowly making their way back down her face.

'Don't be silly, your coming home with me, and don't worry Yaz isn't home.' Najia looks at the Doctor and gives her a sad smile.

'I don't want to be an inconvenience. I..'

'Nonsense, your coming back to the house for a cup of tea no arguments. You look like you need someone to talk to'.

With no more protests, the Doctor and Najia make their way back to Park Hill, where there is promise of tea and a friendly ear.

As soon as they got in and the Doctor had removed her shoes, Najia ushered her to the kitchen table and busied herself with making some tea.

'If you don't mind me asking Doctor, what happened between you and Yaz? She came home earlier out of sorts and went straight to her room without a word.'

'I uh, I did something and Yaz called me reckless and selfish and.. ' the Doctor sniffed and wiped away some more tears that had made their way down her cheek. Najia placed 2 mugs of tea on the table and retrieved a plate of biscuits before sitting herself across from the Doctor.

She placed her hand on top of the Doctors 'Its OK love, take your time, I'm sure it's not as bad as all that'.

The Doctor lifted her head to look at Najia, 'She's right though, she is always right. I never think before jumping head first into a situation. Oh god she's right about everything, I'm a terrible person.' With that the flood gates open.

Najia makes her way round the table, hesitates for a second then gives the Doctor the biggest mum hug she can muster. 'Doctor I'm sure whatever Yaz said to you she didn't..'

The Doctor cut Najia off before she finished the sentence she was sure was going to end with she didn't mean it. 'She did mean it, I saw it in her eyes. She said she' The Doctor took a deep breath looking down at the suddenly interesting floor.

Deep down she knows she probably shouldn't tell Yaz's mum what had been said but the way she looked at her like she was her own daughter 'she said she loved me and that I never noticed. I mean how can she think I don't notice her, the way she looks out for others, how brilliant and clever and beautiful she is. I don't know what I would do without her, she grounds me she is my moral compass and I.'

With a deep breath she looks up' Where is Yaz now, I really need to talk to her.'

With a smile, that the Doctor really didn't have time to analyse, Najia stood up grabbed her car keys and put her coat on. 'Come on love she's at a leaving do in town, I'll take you there.'

Chapter Text

'You are so oblivious to everyone around you. You throw yourself into danger without thinking about it would do to your family, what it would do to us and what it would do to me. I love you but you don't see that, you don't notice me and that breaks my heart. I could have lost you I need a few days break get a few shifts in, please take me home.' Yaz storms out of the consol room and quickly makes her way to her room, allowing the tears she held in to escape when she knows no one can hear her.

Once she is in her room, Yaz collapses on to help bed and screams angrily into her pillow. How could the Doctor do that with no thought for anyone else, with no thought of her. She heard the wheezing of the TARDIS intensify as they made their way through the time vortex back to Sheffield.

Yaz shifts from her bed and in to her bathroom. She looks in the mirror and takes I the sight before her, angry bloodshot eyes and messed hair. She runs the cold tap and splashes some on her face, it does the trick to freshen her face and remove most of the puffiness from her eyes but it did nothing to cool her anger. A knock at the door pulls her from her scrutiny, she quickly restyles her hair and goes back to her room.

Ryan pops his head through the door, as soon as he sees Yaz emerge he comes in.

'Hey Yaz, you alright? We've landed back in Sheffield now.' Ryan shifted uneasily, an unasked question on his lips.

'I'm fine, just need a few days away from this' She looked at Ryan 'Away from her' she added frustratedly.

'Look, I know what she did was reckless but did you have to lecture her, what if when we leave she doesn't come back?'

'I never thought of that' Yaz looked at her sleeve and started playing with a loose thread. Then her head snapped up looking at Ryan with fire in her eyes 'but she needs to know she can't do things like that. She needs to realise we are family and here to help'

'I know, but she looks like a puppy that's just been kicked, it's weird seeing her this quiet. Look I understand where you're coming from and how you feel about her, but just talk to her, please'.

'I don't think you do understand Ryan and she certainly doesn't. I just need a few days to think.' With that Yaz storms out of the room.

As she is walking towards the consol room she feels her anger intensify and tears prickle her eyes once more. Stopping at the entrance of the room, Yaz takes a deep breath and makes a beeline for the doors. The Doctor doesn't make an attempt to stop her, as she gets to the doors she hears Ryan re-enter, but doesn't turn to say goodbye.

As soon as the cool morning air hits her face the tears begin to fall. Mentally scolding herself for looking so weak she quickly jogs the sort distance to her flat.

As soon as she gets in Yaz is hit with questions from her mum.

'And where have you been, you've been out all night and not a single word you could have sent a text to let us know you safe'

'Bet she was with her girlfriend, she's always with Doctor. Trust Yaz to choose a weird one.'

'Oh sod off will ya Sonya. Not now mum, just leave me alone, please.'

'I'm sorry love, we were worried. Are you crying, is everything OK? You're not hurt are you?'

'Just leave it mum, please.'

With that Yaz makes it to her room and slams the door closed. She throws her coat on her desk, changes in to some joggers and slumps down on her bed. Pulling her knees to her chest she tries to calm herself down so she can get some rest.

There's a knock at the door.

'Yaz can I come in please?'

Yaz considered her options, if she didn't let her mum in she would keep coming back. But if she let her in now she can answer her questions and be left alone in silence for the rest of the day. Wiping her eyes on the back of her sleeve she lets her mum in.

'I've brought you some tea love. Do you want to talk about it?'

'It's nothing mum honestly, just a disagreement that's all.'

'It can't be nothing Yaz. I haven't seen you in this state for a long time. Was it the Doctor, did she hurt you.'

At the mention of the Doctors name Yaz broke down in tears again. Najia sat next to Yaz and pulled her into a hug, lightly stroking her hair.

'Sh sh it's OK love, I'm here. It OK.' Najia continued to stroke Yaz's hair until she felt her calm down. A few shaky breaths later Yaz sat back and took a sip of her tea, she looked into her mum's eyes and decided to tell her everything, leaving out the details that would make her think she was mad.

'I shouted at her mum, I told her I loved her and she doesn't even notice me. I stormed out telling her that I don't want to see her for a few days.' Yaz paled at remembering the last thing she said to the Doctor.

'Are you alright Yaz.'

'Oh my god I told her I loved her and she said nothing, she stood there and let me go without saying a word. What have I said?'

'Calm down love, I'm sure she was in shock over the whole situation. The question is, and don't yell at me but, did you mean what you said?'

Yaz looked long and hard at her mum, considering what has happened.

'I.. I don't know, I just need time to think alone.'

Getting up from where she was sitting, taking the now empty mug from Yaz, 'OK, I'll leave you with your thoughts let me know if you need anything.' With that Najia left the room with nothing but Yaz and her thoughts.

Closing her eyes Yaz tried to go over everything that happened in the past 24 hours, from stepping out of the TARDIS with the promise of a beach to confessing her love for the Doctor to coming home and telling her mum (almost) every detail of what happened. The one thing her mind kept repeating was 'I love you'. And with that Yaz fell into a restless sleep only waking up when her phone went off.

Jumping out of bed Yaz ran to her desk and took her phone from her coat pocket. She was upset to find no texts from the Doctor, which made her feel frustrated. Instead she had a message from one of her friends from work.

Hey Yaz don't forget it's Carl's leaving do at The Dove and Rainbow tonight 6pm. No bailing either it's Karaoke night. Sam x

Yaz let out a groan, on the one hand she could do without going out and being social. On the other hand she could do with a distraction.

Hey Sam As if I would, see you at 6 Yaz :) x

Yaz looked at the time, it was 2.30pm now so had a few hours to kill before going out. She put her phone on charge and made her way out to the kitchen in search of food and a nice cuppa tea.

'Hello love, are you feeling better?'

'Hi mum, a little bit thanks. Tea?' Yaz busied herself making tea for the both of them. 'it's Carl's leaving do tonight at The Dove and Rainbow round 6ish, thought I'd go down say goodbye and take my mind off everything'

'No thanks, I'm on my way out to Nani's, what time will you be home at?'

'Not sure, probably until everyone is too drunk to talk to. Give my love to Nani tell her I'll pop round soon.'

'Will do love, have fun.'

With that Yaz was once again alone, moving to the sofa she caught up with a few shows before heading to get ready.

Chapter Text

One the face of it, the morning started normally. Alarm goes off, give Hakim a nudge, get up and start getting ready for the day.

However once in the kitchen Najia noticed the absence of her eldest daughter, because of her odd shift patterns Yaz was normally up before her, even the weekends when she wasn't working like this one. Curious to see what's happening she walks towards Yaz's room, glancing down towards the front door to see if her coat and shoes were there. Nothing.

Quickening her pace Najia gently nudges Yaz's bedroom door open, Yaz's bed was empty and there was no sign of it being slept in. Going back to her room, Najia grabbed her phone and woke up her still sleeping husband.

'Hakim did Yaz mention anything about staying out last night? .'

Hakin pokes his head out from under the covers covering a yawn. 'What are you muttering about this early in the morning love?'

'Yaz isn't home, her bed hasn't been slept in. This isn't like her, Sonia maybe but not Yaz. Hakim I'm worried.' Najia replied her worry clear and thickly coating her words

'She probably picked up an extra shift at work and forgot to tell you.' he yawned getting out of bed'. He turns around and sees worry pinching at his wife's features. 'Why don't you finish getting ready, she'll be back soon. '

'You're right she's probably at work'.

Najia continued through her morning routine as usual, worry still coursing through her. She barely noticed her youngest was up unusually early until she almost fell over her.

'Sonia, I didn't see you there. Have you seen your sister?'

'You mean little miss perfect isn't home.' Sonia threw over her phone

'Enough of that and no she's not home. I thought she might have told you where she was.'

'She's out all night again?? Well she said nothing to me.' Sonia's head snapped up quickly as if she said something she wasn't supposed to.

Najia looks over to Sonia giving her the mum stare hoping I will have the desired effect 'What do you mean again?'

'uhh, what I mean is. WAIT you do no she's an adult now'

'Don't take that tone with me, I know she's an adult but she still lives under my roof. What I really want to know is how often has she stayed out all night?' Najia was starting to get impatient.

Just as Sonia opened her mouth to answer, the front door opened.

'And where have you been, you've been out all night and not a single word you could have sent a text to let us know you safe'

'Bet she was with her girlfriend. Trust Yaz to choose a weird one.'

'Oh sod off will ya Sonya. Not now mum, just leave me alone, please.'

'I'm sorry love, we were worried. Are you crying, is everything OK? You're not hurt are you?'

'Just leave it mum, please.'

Hakim came in to the living room as Yaz slammed her door closed.

'She's home then? That didn't sound happy, did she say where she was?'

'No, but she is very unhappy and I think I know what happened.' Najia makes her way into the kitchen, pops the kettle on and sets out 3 mugs. Once she's done, she hands one to her husband.

'Don't you think you should wait until she's calmed down a bit before you go question her?'

'I think she just needs an ear. Now finish up and head off to work or you'll be late. See you tonight love' She gives her husband a quick peck before heading to Yaz's room

'love you too.' he shouts back at her as he leaves.

Before she makes it out of view she turns to her other daughter. 'Don't annoy your sister today, she's obviously upset so don't.'

'I wasn't going to say anything. I'm off out with friends in a bit anyway and won't be back til later.'

'Fine, don't come back too late. Text me if you'll be home for tea.'

At that she turned and knocked on Yaz's door.

After having a chat with Yaz, Najia knew her assumptions that Yaz and the Doctor were seeing each other were incorrect it there is definitely something there especially on Yaz's side.

Yaz was upset and the Doctor was the cause of the problem, she knew when she saw the Doctor next a good talking to was needed. Yaz always wore her heart on her sleeve, she loved fiercely and without doubt. She didn't always face the fact and it usually ended in heartbreak.

Later in the day Yaz appeared and told her she was going to a colleagues leaving do. Happy her daughter was finally out of her room and seemingly better, she said goodbye to her eldest and made her way to her Mums.