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When the rumors poured from the town Barclay tried to ignore them. He didn’t hear the whispers of the five foot five tall monster. He didn’t hear how the claws tore at the hornet’s chest. He didn’t hear about the long blonde hair that cascaded around her as she tore open the hornet’s neck.
That wasn’t his Dani. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t be the little girl he ran with through the snow. The teenager who made him a bracelet s sentimental. The young woman connected to this Earth as much as her own, who sings a rabbit to sleep and packs lunches for her girlfriend-not-girlfriend.
We’re not there yet…
Dani was sweet, incredibly sweet, irresponsibly sweet, there was no way she could do any of it.
Then again. She had been jumpy. She was distant and always looking over her shoulder.
I should really go talk to her…
He had thought it so many times and cursed himself for every time he convinced himself not to. Because he did talk himself out of it. He told himself that she was fine, she would be fine. It was just a mood she had gotten in. She’d come out of it eventually.
But he was wrong because of course he was wrong. Dani wasn’t distant or spacey. She was deeply rooted in reality and always thought about the logical next step. That's why they had chosen a September birthday for her when they first came through the archway. She was a Virgo through and through.
It started when she was skipping breakfast- missing breakfast. Barclay would see her wandering in a daze at noon and assume she overslept. Her eggs benedict long since cold and whatever lunch he had prepared for the lodge was completely gone by the other residence. Dinner was the only meal she was present for. Physically speaking. There wasn’t much behind her pale eyes as she pushed around her green beans and mashed potatoes.
Dani’s eyes were barren and her cheeks were hallowed, at least when she first woke up. She eventually woke up to the world. But when she did. The only think Barclay saw behind those eyes was paranoia. When she wasn’t groggy and mute, she was shifting uncontrollably, scratching and looking over her shoulder. Her hair stood alert even when she was completely human.
And Barclay did nothing about it.
Instead, he buried himself in his work. He cooked complex recipes that took all day to make, even if she wasn’t going to eat it. Sometimes she might absent-mindedly bring him vegetables from her garden and he thought she'd come back. She never did.
So he threw himself into more work. He wasn't an official official member of the pine guard, not really, not like mama or Duck. Before he was only the guy who made the tea. He bestowed the honor upon himself. The statue was gone from Mama's safe, Thacker was sick and he had a stake in all of that. Maybe if he figured out who took the statue he'd be able to help Dani. Maybe if he was able to get Thacker thinking straight, he could fix whatever was wrong with her.
And so He read every book and every past case trying to figure out what was wrong with Thacker, how to help him, how to fix him. He tried everything . To no avail. Thacker was still lost and Dani was still getting lost.
He worked hard on the mystery of the missing statue. But that wasn't a mystery at all once they saw Ned on TV after disappearing.
He cried out in frustration once he saw Ned broadcasting to the world. He thought he knew this town, he thought he knew these people and he realized he never did, and now he never will.
And his heart broke from betrayal and worry. He had to sit and stew in the fact a member of the carefully chosen pine guard had told the entire town about them. He had to realize that the young woman he thought of as a daughter was slipping away from his grasp and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He couldn't talk her out of it, he couldn't hold her until she understood. His family was falling apart and in this world away from home that's all he had.
At least Barclay tried. At least Barclay knew.
Jake didn’t notice. He was too busy wrapped up in the hornet’s business. Those were his friends attacked that night. People who he still really cared about were attacked in their own space. Any of them could have been attacked.
The rumors didn’t register to Jake. He had put on a suit and attended the funeral when he heard about the short blonde assailant. He heard it right from Hollis’ mouth. But the description wasn’t what he was listening to.
“We have to stop these monsters!”
They were right there in front of everyone while they were all burying their friends.
“We have to show them if they’re out to get us, we’re going to get them first!”
Jake didn’t notice Dani fit the description because Hollis screaming about them and monsters Jake knew exactly who they were talking about. Hollis wasn’t talking about abominations. They were talking about anyone or anything like what killed their friend. And a pit formed in Jake’s stomach.
He always knew they were passionate and fierce. Jake knew Hollis before they were they. Jake remembered when they were both kids watching YouTube videos with extreme stunts. How they’d watch for hours and just talk. He remembers the first time he heard them utter the words “I feel different” and what a relief it was for Jake. Although he could never tell them about his past or where he came from, he could tell them about other things, they could tell him things about them.
They could be different together. Jake would call Hollis “they” and Hollis would kiss his cheek. He would make sure that everyone in their little West Virginia town knew their pronouns and Hollis made sure Jake didn’t feel like an outsider, even if they couldn’t exactly understand why Jake felt that way.
And it was good when they were in high school, they were good as long as they were doing sweet flips on the side of mount Keplar. They had joint friends who they brought together for the Kepler Stunt Club. Everyone felt different somehow. And everything seemed so good . It felt so good to be surrounded by everyone different, noticing that they weren’t so different after all. Until it was less about stunts and being different together, and more about rebelling against authority and making sure everyone knew they were outsiders.
Jake couldn’t make that distinction. He couldn’t be an outsider. He couldn’t scream it from the mountain top because he couldn’t explain exactly how that was. He had blond hair and blue eyes and stood proudly as a man. The only thing he had a claim to was the fact that he liked all sorts of people, boys, girls, and those beyond the binary. And even that didn’t seem enough.
He also couldn’t risk exposing himself. He couldn’t spend time in jail or be put in the hospital. Those were the farthest points from the hot springs, from his family. And what if they confiscated his sylvan ring?
So Jake left because he couldn’t have that type of attention on him, on the lodge.
But it seemed that time was up anyway.
Hollis was breaking down the Sylvan arch screaming about monsters and Jake’s stomach was turning just thinking about it.
“What would they think of me if they knew?”
Jake didn’t notice Dani fading away because he was trying to face his past love calling for action against him.
Dani barely realized it herself. When the full mood waxed its way into the sky, she thought she was just getting her period. She felt sick to her stomach and light headed. Her normal cycle wrecked her much worse. But the blood never came.
Instead came nightmares and bruises on her skin she didn’t remember getting. Her nightmares were so bright she didn’t even think she slept. She just held her eyes tightly shut and tried to sleep.
And then there were the times where she did fall asleep, at inopportune times, passing out in the middle of the day. She often woke up in places she didn’t recognize. And when she woke, she knew someone had their eyes on her.
“I don't remember, Aubrey. I cannot remember where I was last night, because I wasn't, sort of, aware of it. I, I-- I was taking a walk down toward Mt. Kepler, next thing I know, it's, it's morning, and I wake up here, in front of the arch”
She knew the eyes were on them then but she couldn’t keep it in any longer. She had to tell someone, she had to tell Aubrey. And Aubrey was so sweet . She took the strange book that burned her fingers. She assured Dani that no one will know about her missing memories or the deep blue book came from her. Dani felt her secrets safe with Aubrey. As well her life, and her heart.
Aubrey was exactly what she wanted as a sad teenager in this strange world. A native, someone wholly from Earth, who knew everything about who she was. Someone she didn’t have to hide from. Aubrey was too good to be true. Dani could almost feel safe as if everything was going to be okay.
But still, there were the times that she didn’t wake up. It got harder to wake up in the morning. It was harder to pry her eyes open. She felt stuck in sleep and she could feel herself grow hungrier. She felt like she was suffocating in her sleep, enclosed and frozen.
And cut off. She had not been in the hot springs for near the light of Sylvain. It felt like a combination of starving and going through withdrawal. Her grasp on her humanity and her sanity melted away the longer and longer she was disconnected for the light. If she only woke up she could go to the springs she could be full she could be whole. Dani lost count how long she went without the light. Probably the most a Sylph has gone since crossing.
Without warning or even a hint, the bright light parted and all of the anger and the hunger poured into her. It was all pent up before now. Now it was running through her veins and she needed to feed.
As she was dropped, her Sylvan bracelet broke apart, beads flying everywhere.
Dani sees she was surrounded by people who radiate hatred and fear and she could almost taste it. She wants to taste it. She started sprinting to them, looking for whichever would feel the best between her teeth.
And then Ned, she sees Ned. After she sees Ned, she feels Ned, colliding into her. With her strength, she was able to land on top of him.
“I’ve wanted to do this since Mama’s office,” She thought to herself.
Dani brought her mouth to his neck and tore as hard as she could. She felt in her bones how much she missed tearing human’s flesh apart.
But when she went to take another bite, she was lifted from him, pulled backward and unable to move her arms. She flailed and scared in anger and tried to scratch her way free.
All the while, she heard Barclay in her ear.
“Dani, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, I should have known, I should have helped.”
She felt him cry into her neck and she wanted to stop screaming, she wanted to stop flailing, she wanted to stop and hug him and cry with him. But she couldn’t. All she could do was wail and thrash out of his hands.
“ Dani!” Jake screeched from the otherside of the lot upon his arrival.
Dani's head jerked backward and her eyes caught the stars. She went limp in Barclay's arms, jaw going slack. From their spot in the field, she could feel the stretches of Sylvain’s light. Dani could breathe again.
And she finally came to completely when she could taste Ned's blood on her tongue and feel the tears in her eyes.