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“Good afternoon, ma’am. I hope everything went well with you since our most recent owl communication.”
“Of course, I hereby sincerely apologize that you weren’t allowed to apparate to the manor directly. As you know, after the war… things like this have surely become something far beyond my capacity of deciding.”
“NO. I’ll have to say, what you just said could contribute to some extremely grievous accusations. Never will I ever take a position against the ministry; in fact, I do have rather positive attitude towards the department of the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. I even funded several of their research programs myself. If you happened to know one thing or two about me, this shouldn’t remain any top secrets.”
“Two in North America, on thunderbirds; one in Wakanda as well… If this is one of your interview questions, I think we should save it until we suit ourselves in cozy armchairs.”
“Indeed. Turn left, and this way. What you're now staring at are the portraits of the Malfoy ancestors. I personally find no necessity of addressing any of them specifically — any wizard who’s familiar with the history of magic should be able to at least name most of their outstanding contributions to our society.”
“Do sit down. Would you like something to drink? Coffee, black tea, pumpkin juice…”
“Of course you can. Our guest wants it black, Lila, try not to mess it up this time.”
“What is it? My attitude towards houseelves was unexpectedly gentle? I’ll have to say, how you managed to put things forward could be considered as some sort of prejudice towards pure bloods. We disavow the brazen exploitation on them and never once ignore the fact that they do have their proper rights. As a matter of fact, I myself am one of the major shareholders of the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare. All the elves you saw here enjoy their wages and day-offs — please allow me to address it proudly, even better welfare than those who work in Hogwarts. I would like to nicely suggest you to stop judging me using some ridiculous tags and stereotypes, if I may.”
“Apologies accepted, of course. I just found it necessary to develop certain ground rules here before our meant-to-be-nice-and-friendly interview goes any further.”
“No, I don’t mind. You can use your QuickQuotes Quill if that allows you to get down to business as soon as possible.”
“We are indeed talking about houseelves; your reliable memory impressed me.”
“Yes. I have a rather friendly relationship with the vice president of the S.P.E.W.; as a matter of fact, the photo you just exhibited was from the Quidditch match last week — I shared the same box with Ralph as you can tell.”
“Aha, right. Ralph was talking about the magnificent scoring Lynch did; as you can see here in the photo, he made me laughed my lungs out.”
“What was it about my left arm?”
“Rested on the back of the empty chair? In many other occasions as well? Ma’am, I’ll have to politely request you to respect my privacy — it’s just one of the cute little habits of mine. Seriously, it seems like you are holding certain malice against me. I thought we just met each other today. Did I do anything that might have offended you in the past fifteen minutes?”
“Apologies accepted, as you wish.”
“Ralph is humorous and erudite — speaking of which, you do know that he’s the grandson of that world-renowned Newt Scamander right? Pleasant manners, no doubts...”
“President Granger? I thought you would actually address her as Director Granger — she just got promoted recently.”
“The relationship between me and Hermione Granger’s like... I thought people from Daily Prophet like you have reported on this over thousands of times: you know, the war ended, heroes were lenient with sins, followed by a dramatic reconciliation that everyone’s fond of…That’s it. Nothing more.”
“What was she like? Bright, calm, fair, genuine… I bet those are the words you’re expecting?”
“Everyone would say so, tons of times, in all sorts of occasions — as if they know her well in person.”
“Abstruse compliments like these would never be my answer; never.”
“She’s got that surprisingly naive attitude towards things; quite childish, I must say. It’s like she’ll never understand the instinctive desire of fame and fortune. I mean, that’s basically humanity 101.”
“Always obtrusive and impulsive, knows definitely nothing about self-preservation. At least 80% of her major accomplishments were basically results of tremendous luck, if you ask for my opinions on that. She would never have survived the war if it wasn’t Merlin’s blessing.”
“Extremely rigid and boring all the… fine, most of the times. Always talking about her job… centaurs’ legal rights! Oh probably I should pinch my nose to mimic her tone.”
“Let me think of what else… Aha, bossy. Her loud voice is by all means insufferable.”
“You think I abhor her? Just because I refuse to eulogize her deeds by repeating what was written on her chocolate frog card word by word, as if I was some random idiot who happens to know how to read?”
“No, my dear madam. I do not hate her. On the contrary, I LOVE HER.”
——————
“Come on in, come on in! It’s so nice to finally meet you! I hope the unexpected storm this afternoon caused no inconvenience to your trip here.”
“Yes, indeed. This happened to be the best thing I love about floo: unpleasant weather would never hinder your travel. The sentence by itself brings your bright mood.”
“Do sit down. Would you like something to drink? Coffee, black tea, pumpkin juice…”
“My tone sounds familiar to you? Do you mean I’m way too formal? My apologies on that: I just got off from a meeting and I guess I haven’t quite recovered from that pile of mess…”
“No; it’s all my fault. It’s very kind of you. Maybe it’ll be nice if we could get down to business?”
“Sure we can get it started with some quick chats on my work.”
“How did you know…? Actually we are still waiting for some paperwork to be issued, it’s complicated… But I really appreciate your felicitation, thank you; it’s a real bother.”
“I’ll have to say that no major adjustments regarding on specific tasks I’m in charge of were made so far. Just as usual: things such as amending the International Statute of Secrecy and drafting the General Provisions on Centaurs’ Rights and Interests have already beaten my head off.”
“Indeed, I’m always glad to see the raising profile on centaurs among our wizarding society. Of course I’m honored to address higher solicitude on this very species, and on things such as their living conditions, through this interview. As a matter of fact, the department of the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures has this research program in Wakanda, where centaurs get along quite well with local wizards as well as muggles. Therefore our research team is now collecting information: their social hierarchy and ideology, local laws targeting magical creatures, all sorts of things. We asserted that this info would lay considerable foundation to the provisions we are currently working on.”
“I’m so sorry that I could barely call on a pause to myself when it comes to work. I’ve been complained about this by almost all of my friends over and over. I got way too excited… Please, do take your time.”
“Sure! I would love to talk about the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare with you. In fact, I am flattered to do so.”
“Right, I came up with this idea in my fourth grade. Regarding on the social situation back then — I wasn’t surprised that it barely gained any attentions at the beginning, let alone support.”
“Initial members? Me, Harry and Ron, also for a quite long period of time, the only members.”
“While they are my best friends. I’m actually pretty sure that this is the only reason why they are still in the committee; their interests lay elsewhere.”
“Then followed by Dr… Draco Malfoy. As a matter of fact, we would never hold on to what it looks like today with out his financial support. Disbandment was what’s been waiting for us if he weren’t there for us.”
“About why Mr. Malfoy did something like this? Wouldn’t that be a better question for him than for me?”
“What he did allayed the intense relationship between us in a great deal. It was featured accurately in the news report.”
“My impressions on him? It’s rather… complicated. Complicated is the only proper word I could have possibly thought of.”
“If there has to be an answer, I would rather believe what he now looks like differed greatly from what he used to do.”
“Indeed. He’s done all sorts of horrible things — in his adolescence.”
“He, was, ma’am, was, a deatheater.”
“Taking part with him…? Oh, no, I wasn’t. His court decision from Wizengamot lies still in the ministry’s archive room, and it was clearly stated…”
“You might have read an Essay on Criticism by Alexander Pope: to err is human, and that surely includes you and me. I refuse to judge someone based on their faults in the past. Rather, I believe that souls change over time, and therefore I make my judgements based on what my eyes see in the present.”
“You’re by all means correct. We should get down to business.”
“What he appears to me now… is someone rather…soft.”
“Probably I’m quite used to see through things, ma’am.”
“Mean is never a proper adjective to me. He’s eager for attentions and love, which he has absolutely no idea how to acquire. And that’s it.”
“Weak? If that stands for his crippling anxiety to prove himself, then yes; that’s what I meant.”
“Do I pity him? No, I think there must be a major miscommunication here.”
“I LOVE HIM.”