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Summary
Dean has been procrastinating on his suicide for a long time.
It's been years now, he thinks. Like yet another apocalypse that's been happening silently in the background of all the others the Winchester brothers keep surviving. But this one, this special apocalypse is his own, personal, intimate one.
Mary died a year ago, already. At forty-one, Dean's body has been broken so many times he can't hunt anymore. His relationship with Sam is slowly dying out and Cas only visits once every few weeks.
He's alone.
So he tries to blow his head off. He misses, of course, like the failure he is.
But Cas comes back into his life when he's the most needed. He tends to his wounds and tries to help Dean exhume what's been buried for decades: himself.
What if Dean actually likes talking about his feelings? What if he doesn't want to lie anymore? What if he's not straight? What if he's not who he thought he was?
What if there's still hope?