Chapter Text
Social Stigma;
the disapproval of a person based on negative physical or behavioral characteristics that distinguish them from others;
If something has a stigma attached to it, people think it is something to be ashamed of.
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*Yoongi pov:*
He let the calm music echo through the room, dim lights, you could only see his shadow moving slowly and soon becoming one with the steady melody.
He counts the beats in his head, heartbeat growing quicker and quicker eyes falling closed and his lips beginning to move, spitting out the verses.
Ever since growing up Yoongi had huge passion for music. At a very early age he started bringing his feelings to paper and sooner realized his passion for rapping.
It made him feel free, comforted and close to home.
Yoongi recently moved to Seoul, finally attending a well known college which had special focus on music and art. He worked hard to get here and couldn't quite believe that he actually got accepted.
It was a great opportunity for him, his dream is for people all over the world to hear his music.
Nevertheless, Yoongi is anxious.
Anxious about opening this 'new chapter' in his life. But.. well at the age of 24 he kind of has to get a tight grip on his life.
All he wanted was to just get through college and get into the real world already. Get through it by sleeping in the back of the lecture hall and handing in his assignments at the very last minute.
Yeah, that's probably the kind of student Yoongi will most likely be...
Also, Seoul is so different from what Yoongi is used to; the people were so different, they didn't know him, didn't know his stigma.
You think differently if you live in a big city.
Being pressured by society.
Yoongi is naturally a very quiet and down to earth person. In school he didn't have many friends because he simply was too lazy to remember anyones faces and names... and well doesn't like to approach people, he enjoys his freetime alone rather than spending it with someone else.
It's not like they wanted to spend time with him anyway.. Of course he heard the rumors, people labled him as a cold hearted and weird guy, an introvert who doesn't have any friends.
That is what they see. But they actually didn’t know him. It was the facade that Yoongi built up on himself after some rough years of Highschool.
He has been through it, he has been hurt. Finding it hard to trust anyone really.. He might appear harsh and all that, but on the inside Yoongi is just as quiet and soft as he always was.
If you think Yoongi is cold-hearted, then you don't know him. But well.. sadly we can’t look into peoples minds and hearts.
~
Yoongi grew up with super religious and buisness related parents, he never felt a connection between him and them as irritating as that sounds.
Money was more important.
More important than their own son .
They were on buisness trips all the time so he grew up not really having anyone to talk to when he was feeling all sorts of things. He kind of missed out on his whole childhood, already being responsible and independent at a very young age.
There were also some issues which occurred in his family; his father suddenly started drinking, started having affairs due to all the stress from his job.
Yoongi acted like he didn't notice anything going on, but at night he was awake staring at the moon and thinking about how everything was going to end.
And it got worse for him, because the problems in his family soon spread.
He lived in a small religious neighborhood before moving and of course things are being noticed, rumors are being created. You name it.
He didn't understand how people could be so naive and basically believe everything they hear.
But he gets it now; that's how society works.
When Yoongi finally got into Highschool a lot changed. He noticed how everyone around him got into.. well that kinda phase, puberty.
The boys slowly started to date, started to have sex. They would always flirt with the pretty girls.
Just like it was supposed to be.
But it wasn't the same with Yoongi tho.
Something was off. Of course he didn't think much about that back then, it was no big deal.
But as time passed and some boys got their first girlfriends, he kept questioning himself, not receiving an answer as hard as he tried to understand.
..So he kept on telling himself it would come with the time.
But well, it didn't.
He acted like the feeling wasn't there, always pushing the thought into the darkest and lonliest corner of his mind. Trying out things and having sex with some of the girls he picked up from the club.. but that actually just made it harder and harder to surpress.
After a few months and long nights, it was very clear for Yoongi.
He liked the same sex.
He had no choice. Either he was going to accept it or continue on living in self-denial and pain.
So what sounds more appealing?
He never really planned to come out either because he knew exactly that people wouldn't accept him.
Korea was difficult, It drove him mad..
But well, the only people he wanted to know were his parents. I mean.. They were his parents, and since they didn't really care about their son, Yoongi thought that they might not care about his sexuality either.
And yes.. Yoongi thought wrong.
His mother started heavily cussing at him, his father throwing fits and it was just all too much, He didn't even imagine this in his worst nightmares.
Yoongi couldn't wrap his head around how his own parents could completely go against him, it broke his heart.
So he packed his things and was left alone on the streets. He felt like the whole world was just going against him.
But he stood up for himself and that helped him to get through all of that shit.
He worked his ass off, having two jobs at the same time until he could afford himself a small apartment.
It's difficult to accept all of this and not being able to speak up onto the people who hurt him most.
He was just simply another misunderstood soul, sick of trying to fit in.
But life goes on, and you can't change it.
So Yoongi decided to leave everything behind. Concentrating on his dream. And his dream only.
New to Seoul Yoongi get his hopes up high.
But oh boy.. there was still a lot more to come,
he has a long way to go and who knows what will happen or who will get into his way?