Archive of Our Own ^beta

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A/N: Just some weird story I came up with a little while ago. I'm starting to kick myself for having so many WIP stories going at once- oh well.

Just putting this out there as well. This was not intended to be a Thor/Loki ship but, hey... whatever floats your boat. It's full of mega whumps and my love of throwing Loki in horribly awkward situations ( you've been warned- no really! I'm serious!)

Chapter 1: I Got Your Back

Thor was used to standing by his brother's side. If it's in battle or in Asgard, the brothers had each other's back. Today was no different when they went on a mission with Sif and the Warriors Three. The group was a common thing. All still young, they grew up together and have all grown a special connection.

Heimdall had seen the Dark Elves were planning something against Asgard. Dark Elves were crafty. They have learned to cast shadows over Asgard's All-Seeing eyes. They could never completely block him but made it hard to see their motives. This was the case today. When Heimdall approached the All-Father of his discovery, he did so with great caution to their plans.

Odin called the warriors together to discuss the mission. All were warned to be aware of any mischief on the Dark Elves part. Loki, being the God of Mischief, was eager to figure out their plans. Thor and the others were confident in their mission. They have done this thousands of times before. How would this be no different? Yes, the Dark Elves were more dangerous then trolls, but nothing their team couldn't handle.

That happened less than a day ago. Now Thor was not by his brother's side but waiting outside the healing halls while Loki laid gravely injured. The mission went from bad to worse. They were outnumbered by the elves by hundreds. The weapons they held were like no other they'd seen before. It was all a trap. Loki made the sacrifice to save his brother.

It happened after everyone got separated in the sea of elves, except Thor and Loki. The whole mission ended up being an ambush. The brothers were back to back fending off the fury of attacks. Thor would hit the creatures into the air with Mjolnir, while Loki finished them off with a dagger to the throat. It worked for a while before their numbers became too much. The brothers were fighting a losing battle.

Thor heard an angry cry off in the distance. Through the crowd of Dark Elves, he could see Sif. She was up against an elf that was substantially larger than the rest. It wielded a massive blade that glowed dark, purple; it rippled dark energy off of it with its movements. Sif's sword was large, but nowhere near the size of the elves.

With a swing of the cursed blade, it sliced through her own. Sif's weapon fell, shattered on the ground. The creature approached her slowly as she kept her distance.

"Sif!" Thor screamed, fearing that this was the end for his friend.

Loki heard Thor's cry and whipped around. He saw Sif stumbling backward as the Dark Elf honed in. They had to do something, and fast. But both he and Thor had their hands tied with their own battle. The Warriors Three were somewhere on the battlefield doing the same.

The trickster knew what he had to do.

"Thor," Loki yelled out towards his brother, "Watch my back!"

He sprinted towards the sea of Dark Elves that blocked their path to Sif. Thor followed behind his brother, knocking out any that tried to attack them. Loki's hand started to shimmer with his iconic green magic. Throwing his hands in front of him, he shot out a forcefield through the enemies. Loki took the shield and expanded it to create a clear passage for the brothers to run through.

Sif was now backed against a large boulder and, with nowhere to run, bared her teeth at the creature. She wasn't afraid of death; in fact, she accepted it as an honor for defending Asgard. But that didn't need to be the case as Mjolnir flew through the air and collided into the head of the Dark Elf.

While Thor batted, Loki ran to secure Sif. He was able to find her broken sword and mend it with his magic. The young prince turned to his comrade and told her to go help the others; the brothers will handle the leader. Sif took the orders and ran off to find the Warriors Three.

By the time Loki made it back to Thor, he saw his brother flying past him and into a boulder. The thunderer got hit with a shockwave of dark energy from the elf's blade. Loki quickly ran to his aid as the large boulder crumbled under the hit, effectively burying Thor in the process. The younger brother wasted no time and reached for his magic to help lift the rubble. His Seidr had been depleted from the long hours of battle. Loki struggled to lift the weight of debris, all while he continued to shout to his brother to get up. It didn't take much for the blonde to appear under the rocks, banged up but mostly uninjured.

Crawling out of the dust, Thor only had a second to look up before watching the Dark Elf run up behind his distracted brother. With the sword in its hands, the creature thrusted the cursed blade deep into Loki's back.

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"I NEED A HEALER! PLEASE! MY BROTHER IS HURT!"

Thor burst through the halls of the palace leaving a trail of blood behind him. His red cape was ripped off and was wrapped around the small figure in his arms. Sif and the Warriors Three were not far behind Thor's pace. They were all scuffed up and covered in blood- some of enemies and their own.

"PLEASE! ANYONE!" Thor cried.

His prayers were finally answered as servants, guards, and healers appeared out of doorways. One guard saw the frantic prince and ran to him.

"Come! Eir is in the main healing chambers!"

The guard bellowed at the gathering crowd to make way. Thor never let up his pace as the horrified Asgardian citizens stared on. When they came upon to the healing chambers, Eir appeared out of the door and saw Thor approaching. Her eyes widened at the figure wrapped in the cape. The healer held the door open and allowed the prince to burst past.

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That was three hours ago. It wasn't long after Thor set Loki down on the healing chambers bed that he was ushered out the door. He sat right outside the chamber doors, traumatized by the image of his brother being impaled.

Less than ten minutes from the time Thor was pushed out, Odin and Frigga ran to the door. They made passing glances at their oldest as the burst through the doors. He was about to go in after them, but a healer came and locked the doors behind them. He never moved from his spot, fearing at any minute they could possibly need him.

Hours later, word got out that one of the princes was injured in battle. The people of Asgard tried to see what was going on, but the halls of that wing were guarded heavily after the warriors return. Sif and the Warriors Three came by to try to check on Thor, but even them were held back. Only Thor was allowed to wait in the hallways until news of his brother.

______________________

Thor was pulled from his panicked thoughts by the sound of the chamber doors opening. Odin emerged, looking tired and deep in thought. His son jumped up from his spot against the wall.

"Father!"

He sprinted towards the All-Father, panic laced on his face.

"How is Loki?! Is he alright!? When can I se-"

Thor was stopped mid-sentence by Odin's raised hand.

"Call yourself, my son. The condition of your brother is still unknown, but your mother wishes to see you." Odin turned and walked down the hall, "I must inform the people of Asgard that they are safe. They think we are under attack since Loki's has been injured."

The All-Father disappeared into the halls without another word, leaving Thor to dissect his words.

The condition of your brother is still unknown…

Thor shook away the thoughts and realized the healing chamber's door were still open. His eyes glittered with hope to finally see his brother. The god wasted no time dashing in. The inside of the room was empty. The only one around was a young servant who was cleaning a trail of blood from the floor. Thor called out to the servant, effectively scaring them.

"Please! Tell me where Loki is!" The thunderer begged.

The servant only trembled at the prince's presence and pointed a shaky finger towards the private wing. Thor quickly thanked them and shot through the hall to the private wing's large door.

Slamming open the door, Thor was met by a crowd. All the healers, as well as the All-Mother, turned their heads to him in surprise. They were all huddled around a bed. Potions and bandages covered the small table next to them. A bucket was positioned nearby with a bloody rag hanging off the side.

"Thor… my child." Frigga finally spoke, her voice weary. Tears started to well up in the corners of her eyes.

Her son approached the bed, desperately trying to see past the mass of healers. Eir and Frigga were in front and quickly parted to allow Thor to come in. What he saw shattered his heart. His baby brother laid unconscious on the large bed. Loki's armor and tunic were removed, and his torso was covered in thick layers of bandages. Every surface of him was littered with bruises and cuts. Looking thinner than ever, Thor noticed how prominent his brother's bones were jutting out under his deathly pale skin. It didn't look good.

Thor looked up to the All-Mother with watery eyes. The sight of Loki's condition was unbearable. To think only today they were eager to go on another adventure together.

"Mother…" Thor went to say more but his words failed him.

Frigga saw the anguish in her child's face and pulled him into a hug. Thor accepted it eagerly and wrapped his arms around his mother's waist. They embraced for a moment before pulling away.

Frigga cupped her son's chin.

"If Heimdall didn't open the Bifrost as fast as he did, Loki might not be here."

Thor's eyes widened, "Loki will survive?"

Eir stepped in to take over. She ushered the other healers out to leave them alone. Being the one to first tend to Loki on his arrival, she was able to give more information. She also hoped that Thor could shed more light on the situation and how Loki appeared to her like this.

"Loki's condition is critical," Eir started, "He has sustained an injury from the dark magic."

Frigga drew Thor's attention to her.

"My son… please tell us what happened. Any information will help us save your brother."

Taking a deep breath, Thor recounted Heimdall's vision and told of his mission sent by Odin. He explained the glowing weapon the Dark Elf leader had and how it pierced Loki from behind. Thor did all this with great difficulty. The memories were all still fresh and painful. He was able to hold back his tears to relay the events clearly.

When he finished, both Eir and Frigga stood silent. Thor couldn't tell if it was a good or bad thing. They exchanged looks before breaking the silence.

"The tale sheds light on Loki's condition," Eir stated.

She was right, Loki indeed had been cursed with the blow of dark magic. What concerned her the most was not just the magic, but the blade itself.

Eir drew in a breath before continuing.

"The magic on the blade that pierced your brother is unlike I have ever seen. It left horrid burns that covered his back. It drained his Seidr. The cursed part caused his bones to contract, weakening him… making him smaller and more fragile."

The healer paused again before revealing the worst of the news.

"That sword, not only cursed Loki but severed his spine. It unleashed such power that it shattered some of the vertebrae. We were able to do the best we could, but…"

Thor looked at her with pleading eyes. He hoped the next words from her mouth would be that Loki will make a full recovery.

"We fear… we fear Loki may not be able to walk again."

The words shattered Thor as if all of Asgard came crashing down on him. His brother, the God of Mischief, may never walk again? He begged for it not to be true. The though killed him. They could never go on travels again or ride their horses through the streets of Asgard.

"We don't know anything for certain," Frigga added, "I was able to stop the dark magic from spreading, but not relinquish it. When your brother awakens, we will know more..."

Thor was tongue-tied; he didn't know what to ask or how to feel. Filled with a mixture of sadness and anger, he stood staring hopelessly at his younger brother. The rise and fall of Loki's chest gave him some comfort in knowing that he was- at least- alive.

The All-Mother looked at her son, somberly. She could tell Thor felt some responsibility for the outcome. Of course, nothing Thor could have done differently would have yielded a different result.

"Stay with your brother, my child. I will go deliver this new information to your father. He is anxious to know of any updates on Loki's condition."

She leaned in and kissed her oldest on the cheek. As Frigga walked out the door, Eir followed and stated she will be back soon. Now the brothers were alone in the room. It was deathly quiet; the only sound was Loki's soft breathing. Thor pulled up the closest chair and set it at Loki's bedside. He sat down and gathered his brother's hands into his own.

Eir was right, Loki was substantially smaller. He wasn't even close to five feet tall. It was such a difference from the tall 6'4 he used to be. The curse not only pulled away his strength and magic, but his physical body took the blow as well.

Thor mind could stop replaying Eir's words in his head.

We fear Loki may not be able to walk again.

Next Chapter: No Leg to Stand On

Word Count: 2,454

Updated On: 9-16-19

Posted On: 9-16-19

Chapter Text

A/N: Sorry I’m late! The whumps continue!

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Chapter 2: Not a Leg to Stand On

It was three days later before Loki finally stirred. It was only for a brief moment before he fell back asleep. Thor was almost constantly in the healing room with him. Their mother would come by as much as she could while still juggling the duties of being a queen. Odin, on the other hand, was not as frequent. The All-Father came in at most two times while Loki laid unconscious. It made Thor upset that his father didn’t find more time to be with his injured son.

After a long, diplomatic meeting with the council, Frigga was able to slip away to see her son. She ran into Eir along the way who was just leaving Loki’s private room.

“Eir, how does Loki fair today?”

The healer gave her a sympathetic smile back. She knew the queen has been trying everything to see Loki. Eir, herself, had her hands full with her royal patient. Loki needed constant monitoring. The dark magic still brewed inside of him like fire. A fever started not long after his arrival. Eir was thankful Thor was almost always there to watch over his brother when she could not.

“He still suffers from his fever, but he’s stable,” Eir answered, “It is hard to tell if he is in pain or not. But I believe he will awaken soon. Loki has already stirred a few times this morning alone. Thor is with him now.”

Frigga thanked the healer and dismissed herself to see her son. She opened the door to a familiar sight. Thor sat next to Loki’s bedside, re-wetting the damp cloth on his fevered brother’s forehead. The blonde turned to the sound of the door opening.

“Good morning, my child,” Frigga forced a small smile as she strode up to him. She placed a supportive hand on her eldest son’s shoulder.

Thor looked up at her with his big, blue eyes.

“Good morning, mother...”

“How is your brother doing today?” She asked as she looked down at Loki.

“Better, I believe. I’ve felt his hand clutch my own earlier. Eir thinks he will wake soon.”

The All-Mother gave a small sigh of relief to hear of some progress. She then turned her attention to her youngest on the bed. He looked so much smaller than before. The curse has really affected his appearance. As well as his fevered cheeks that stood out so prominently to his pale complexion. When she looked again, his face seemed pained. Frigga frowned. She didn’t notice him grimace like that before. Reaching out, she rubbed her son’s cheek. His temperature was easily noticeable from her touch.

“Loki, my sweet…” Frigga whispered quietly. She continued to stroke his cheek in an effort to ease his pain.

Whether it was her voice or her touch, Loki seemed to stir. His eyebrows knitted together as he tilted his head away from her touch. The movement caused the damp cloth to slide off his forehead onto the bed.

Thor jumped from his seat. He tried his best not to scream and beg him to wake up.

“Brother?!”

The noise caused Loki to wince again, this time a small groan came with it. Even beneath his lids, Loki felt blinded by the light above. He scrunched his face in pain as a blossoming headache arose. The feeling caused another moan to escape the god’s lips.

“My child…” the All-Mother spoke, her words like silk, “Please don’t worry. I am here.”

Loki knew that voice of his mother immediately. He wanted to grant her wish, but the task was harder than it seemed. It didn’t help that he felt uncomfortably hot and cold at the same time. His body was zapped of all energy.

He fought off the urge to sleep as he tossed his head to the other side. Frigga’s hand was there quickly to calm him. Her cool touch felt wonderful on his clammy skin and decided to keep his head there. Loki took a minute to fully rise to consciousness before mustering up the energy and opened his eyes.

Thor’s heart kept into his chest at the sight of his brother’s emerald eyes. Although only peeking through narrow slits, Loki was awake. The younger blinked rapidly to clear his blurred vision. He was only able to make out to outlines of the people around him. So far, he only knew his mother was there. The other person has yet to say anything- probably Thor.

“‘Tis good to finally see you awake, brother!” A smile spread wide over Thor’s face, so relieved to see his sibling awake.

His sight could finally make out the two figures above him; and, as he guessed, it was Frigga and Thor. Their faces looked down at him with sighs of relief. Loki was becoming more aware now and found their gaze uncomfortable. He couldn’t help but to grimace a little at their hovering. Loki tried to reach his face to rub his eyes but found he was too weak. His arm felt as if it weighed a ton.

“Loki,” Frigga watched as her son seemed to be in distress, “Can you speak? Are you hurting?”

If Loki had the energy, he’d roll his eyes at the comment. Of course, I can speak. But, her second question confused him. Other then a headache, he wasn’t hurting at all. Why was he even laying down? Where was he even at?

He swallowed thickly, trying to moisten his parched throat, hoping to not sound too pitiful.

“Where...” Loki croaked, “Where are we?”

Happy to hear her son’s voice, Frigga went and cupped his cheek.

“You are in the healing chambers. We brought you here after you were injured in battle.,” she answered before asking her own question, “How do you feel? Are you hurting at all?”

Annoyed with how hellbent she was on how he was feeling, Loki pulled away from her cool touch.

“I am fine,” Loki stated flatly, but then softened after it came out too abrasive, “I do not hurt. I just merely want to know how I got here.”

Thor stepped in and leaned over the bed. The god looked apprehensive to tell the story to his- just awoken- brother. He looked at Frigga for approval. The All-Mother returned with a soft nod. She didn’t want to tell her son right away but knowing Loki he won’t let it go.

The older paused before recounting the events. Should he tell the full story? And what about what Eir said?

“We were ambushed by Dark Elves on a mission with Sif and the Warriors Three,” Thor started, “You rescued me from the rubble. While doing so, you were attacked from behind with a cursed blade.”

The memories flooded back faster than Loki could process it. The battle… Sif… that dark magic blade… he remembered his back is turned as he tried to rescue Thor. The last thing before darkness took him was the horror on Thor’s face.

“Loki, Loki… are you okay?!” Thor cried, regretting telling his brother anything.

Loki was in a state of shock. Did that really happen? I was struck by a cursed blade… and survived?

“How am I still alive?” Loki tried to hide his fear.

Frigga spoke up this time.

“Your brother and Heimdal were able to get you back just in time. Eir and I were able to block the dark magic from spreading. We continue to try to extinguish it. It was a strong spell and you have been asleep for many days.”

The All-Mother desperately swallowed the lump in her throat. She was dying to ask the question she’s been painstakingly waiting to be answered. She wanted to know whether or not he could move. In the end, Frigga decided to wait a little longer.

“So does the burn pain you at all?” She asked.

The burn?

Loki rested his chin on his chest to see where the burn was. Instead, all he saw was layers of bandages wrapped around his torso. Strange. He thought. Loki never noticed they were even on him. Nothing even hurt, other than his horrible headache. So why was he still in bed?

The younger god was starting to grow tired of the worried stares and uncomfortable questions. Clearly, he was fine now. He just needed a few days of rest, that’s all. Nothing sounded better than to leave the looks of his overprotective family and escape to his room. Maybe then his headache will go away.

“Loki,” Thor said, his brows knitted together, “Why are you not answering mother?”

Loki ignored his brother. They were all getting on his nerves too much. Not liking his compromised position on the bed, Loki decided to get up. Fighting the fatigue, he pushed his hands down on the bed to sit up. He found his arms a little uncoordinated and tingling.

The curse must have been strong to drain me of this much energy.

He only got to his forearms and took a break. Trying to hide his panting, he could still see their eyes watching him. Both Thor and Frigga were as still as statues as they looked on. Loki didn’t know whether or not to ask them what their problem was.

Must they always be like this every time I obtain a mere cut?!

The frustration was getting to him.

If they wish to gawk, they can do so as I leave.

Loki told his brain to swing his legs off the bed to stand… but they did not listen.

He immediately assumed that this is all from being tired and bed-bound for so long. Loki raised his brow and tried again.

Still nothing.

He could feel the adrenaline start to pump faster in his veins. With the boost of strength, Loki was able to barely lift his upper half with his arms. They shook dangerously from the strain. Along with the tingling sensation, new pain grew stronger in his arms. As painful as it was, Loki refused to stop.

Once he was a few inches off the mattress, he let his arms go to allow his core muscles to lift him the rest of the way up. That way his aching arms can get a break. Immediately as he did, his body fell back into the bed.

What?! Loki let out a small gasp.

The panic was taking over. Why could he move? He threw his hands awkwardly over the bandages on his stomach. Loki expected to feel pain from the wraps rubbing on his apparent burns… but there was no pain.

His arms dropped to rest by his side. Loki felt his hands hit something. When he looked down, nothing was on the bed except him. He moved his hand and it accidentally grazed his hip.

Something was wrong. When the hand touched his side, Loki felt the sensation on his hand… but not on his leg. His eyes widened, terrified of the lack of sensation. His brain told his legs over and over to move, run, kick- but nothing happened. Loki scanned his body, desperately looking for a cause to this numbness. He started hyperventilating.

Wait! Loki thought. Thor and Frigga are here! Maybe they know?!

Whipping his head around to face his family, Loki breathlessly tried to process what’s happening…

His world came crashing down as he met the eyes of his mother and brother. Frigga put a shaky hand over her mouth, tears streaming down her face. Thor just stared at him, a ghostly pale. The horror in their eyes held knowledge of something that Loki didn’t know.

“Wh..what?” Loki stammered. He himself felt tears threatening to spill now, “Why are you looking at me that way?!”

His family didn’t respond. His words only cause more tears to stream down Frigga’s cheeks. Loki felt like he was going to be sick. His head swam with a mixture of fear and confusion.

The lack of answers caused him to snap. They knew something; they weren’t telling him. Loki desperately tried to hold up back tears.

“What is wrong with me?” His voice grew stronger… louder.

Frigga’s head collapsed into her hands, completely sobbing now. Thor pulled his mother into an embrace and tried to blink the forming tears from his eyes.

“TELL ME!” Loki screamed. His words were a demand, not a question.

The door to the room swung open and a frantic Eir appeared. She had heard the cries from down the hall. The healer glanced at the panicked prince, then to his distraught family.

“What is going on here?!” Eir asked, terrified of this sudden commotion.

Loki stared up the healer with wide green eyes, glittering with unshed tears. He was trying to push himself up again but was failing miserably. The prince was sweating profusely- both from panic and the still fever. His shaking hands balled into fists.

“WHY CAN’T I FEEL MY LEGS?!”

By this point, the stress was too much. Loki felt hot tears stream down his cheeks. He was terrified; more terrified than ever. His body wouldn’t respond to him. His family looked just as horrified. The worst part was that no one was answering him.

The Eir couldn’t help but raise her hand to her mouth. It was what she feared. The blade that severed Loki’s spine had paralyzed him. She thought she had prevented that with the help of the All-Mother and her skillful team of healers.

Loki couldn’t yell anymore. His lungs ached from screaming. The pain from his headache and arms only grew more severe with his panic. Every part of Loki- that could move- was trembling. Silent tears continued to trail down his face.

“My prince…” Eir came up to the bed and took a knee. She clutched his shaking hand and tried to get his attention. As a healer, Eir decided to take to the burden of giving the news herself.

Loki tried his best to stop shaking long enough to look at the elder. A fresh batch of tears was ready to spill from his eyes. She could tell he was fighting to prevent completely losing it. Loki was very shielded with his feelings. It broke her heart to see his mask crumbling before him.

“The sword that struck you,” Eir did her best not to pause, “the damage was not just the curse. It severed your spine as well. Becau-“

“Then heal it!” Loki interrupted, his voice cracking.

“We tried,” she said, “All of us did. Me, your mother, even the All-Father.”

Eir looked away. She felt a sense of failure from it all. As a healer, she was unable to reverse it; and to her prince of all people. Dark magic is a horrible thing. As if brewed in the pits of Hel, its power is dangerous and unpredictable. There is no way to study dark magic, unlike regular magic. It has no rules or form.

At this point, Frigga stood up and moved in closer. Doing this, she acquired Loki’s full attention. For now, her cheeks were dry, but she knew it would not be long before they dampen again. Frigga wanted to control her feelings, to hold them back. None of this was helping Loki. She needed to be brave for her son.

“We will not stop trying, my son,” the All-Mother tried to wipe away the tear streaks from Loki’s face, “Until then, I will take care of you… like I always have.”

“And I as well,” Thor added, standing up.

“You are not alone in this, Loki,” Eir spoke up, “Never think you are alone.”

Loki couldn’t look at them anymore. The feelings were just too strong. Everything was crashing down on him faster than can be processed. Loki asked himself what he did to deserve this punishment. Was it the pranks? The chip on his shoulder to Odin? Or the deep envy towards Thor? Loki was convinced the Norns have done this for a reason. It was payback for something he did.

“Here,” Eir spoke, coming to stand, “I need you to drink this.”

He fought to not look up. Talking seemed pointless now. On the other hand, Loki felt guilty not to. He gave up and looked up to Eir. The healer had grabbed a clear glass bottle and held it in her hands; a strange lavender liquid filled the container to the brim. Loki eyed it cautiously. He wasn’t sure if he could drink it. Not just because of its odd color, but would his stomach even accept it.

Before Loki could ask, Eir explained.

“The queen and I have made this potion to help prevent the dark magic from spreading further.”

Loki stayed quiet and just nodded. He was too tired to fight any longer. Trying to push himself back up, he found his arms just too weak and painful to do so. He felt as if he could easily pass out right then and there but fought hard not too.

Eir watched Loki like a hawk. She wanted to do a full examination on him later. They needed to determine to what degree he was paralyzed. There might be a possibility of other internal damage that might have been skipped over. Eir decided that will have to wait. The prince already looked like he had already spent all his energy today.

“We will help you sit up.” Eir went to put the bottle down, but Thor was by his brother’s side before she knew it.

“I will help you,” Thor said.

“I can manage,” Loki grumbled and tried to sway Thor’s hands away.

Thor ignored Loki’s wishes and carefully cupped underneath his arms. The older brother's calloused hands almost encircled his little brother’s chest they so big. Loki stared intently at them as he was slowly lifted up to lean on the pillows that Eir had just propped up. When he pulled away, Loki kept staring at Thor’s hands. His brother seemed substantially bigger to him.

“Why…?” Loki tried to ask, but his voice was too quiet.

“Why what, my child?” Frigga came once again to hold his hand. Loki realized her hand too was quite big.

“Why...,” he swallowed to clear his throat, “Why do you all seem so much bigger?”

They all paused. Loki was starting to hate how much they did that. The more he stared at them, the more he realized how much they towered over him.

“Dark magic is a dangerous thing,” Eir explained, “It affects everyone differently. It has done more than paralyze you but pulled your life energy. Your body is smaller… more fragile.”

Loki felt like he was being fed too much information at once. He felt his body hasn’t quite soaked it in yet. Almost like his feelings were numb. Just talking to them felt like an out-of-body experience.

The healer quickly picked up on Loki’s odd calm all of the sudden. She worried he slipped into shock. The prince needed rest. He was just given a large amount of hard news. Eir wanted to get the medicine in him as soon as possible so he can sleep more.

Now that Loki was safely situated against the pillows, Eir holds up the container for Loki to take. He blinks to clear away the thoughts and fog from his mind and looks at the medicine. It still looked as unappetizing as ever, but Loki knows he should probably take it.

It takes a great deal of effort for him to lift his arms. They tremble dangerously as he tried to wrap his fingers around it. Eir continued to hold it steady, worried that he might drop it.

“Are you able to hold it?” she asked, concerned.

It takes all of Loki’s focus to grip it. He just nods. She hesitantly lets go but keeps her hands close. So, now the medicine was in his hands, Loki slowly brought it to his chest. He could feel the stares in the room- very unnerving. They didn’t trust he could do it. That only made his hands shake more.

His trembles ended up being too strong and the bottle slipped out of his grip. Before he could register it, Eir was there to catch it before it spilled. That was another loss in Loki’s book. Literally, in the last hour he’s been awake, he has done nothing on his own. The feeling of complete helplessness made him sick to his stomach.

“It’s ok,” Eir said trying to comfort him. The expression on the prince’s face was a mix of shame and defeat. She lifted the bottle back up, “Here, let me hold it for you.”

“No,” Loki whispered, “That’s alright, I can do this.”

“Brother, just let Eir help,” Thor nudged himself into the conversation. He really wanted to help. It felt like he hasn’t helped at all other than help sit Loki up.

Frigga looked over to Loki after hearing Thor interject. She immediately could tell that her youngest was not appreciating his input or his presence for that matter. The tension wasn’t helping the situation.

“Thor, darling,” the All-Mother looked to her oldest, “Maybe it would be best if you wait outside. I think your brother just feels a little crowded in here.”

Thor looked hurt. He was only trying to help. He didn’t want to leave. At the same time, he could tell by Loki’s scowl that his brother wasn’t appreciating his help all that much anyway.

Very well,” Thor sighed. He left the bedside and, looking defeated, left the room.

As the door shut gently behind him, the All-Mother turned back to her youngest son.

“Is that better, sweetheart?”

Casting his eyes down, Loki nodded. He really didn’t want an audience to all of this. If he could, he wouldn’t want anyone to be near him now. It was like he needed to be by himself to help process the events that have unfolded. It was easy to get Thor out of the room, but Frigga and Eir… not so much.

The women both their full attention back to him. Eir lifted the potion forward again. Loki instinctively went to hold it.

“You can hold it,” she said, “but I must keep my hand on to steady it.”

The comment only got a scowl from the prince. Clearly, the healer wasn’t going to let go, but neither was he. She steadied his shaking hands and helped guide it up towards his lips. Loki could smell the potion from there. It had a pungent, medicinal smell to it that made it all the more vile.

Loki really didn’t want to drink it now, in fear of throwing up. His shaky hands tried to move the potion away from his face. Eir ignored his pull and brought the bottle forward to his lips. Loki was too weak against her to resist. Ever so slightly, she tilted it for him to drink. The medicine was thicker than expected as it flowed past his lips. The vile flavor coated his tongue. It wasn’t a smooth texture either; there was grit to it of ground herbs. He coughed a few times once it hit his throat. The glass was quickly pulled away.

“Just drink it slow,” Eir said, “I know this probably doesn’t taste good.”

She was right. It didn’t taste good; it tasted awful. The healer gave him a moment before it was put back to his mouth again. He tried to drink more but found himself gagging. Swallowing a few more mouthfuls, he found it was too much of it left to drink. Loki pulled away, feeling a little green.

“We can stop,” Eir pulled the glass away and recapped it, “We do not want your stomach to upset.”

While she put the half-empty bottle of medicine away, Frigga laid him back down on his back. She frowned on how alarmingly easy it was to pick him up. The only tricky part was not to disrupt the bandages.

Loki coughed a few more times as the medicine still coated his mouth. Laying on his back made choke on it. The All-Mother quickly tilted up his head so he could clear his throat. Some leftover liquid dribbled down his chin, but Frigga quickly wiped his face clean with her sleeve.

A choked sob escaped his lips, unintentionally. Loki clenched his jaw closed in hopes they didn’t hear it. He was not going to cry anymore over this. He doesn’t cry; a prince doesn’t cry.

“Don’t hold your feelings in, my son,” Frigga soothes as she leaned in closer on the bed.

Loki didn’t want to hear it. He screwed his eyes shut and turned away. He thought maybe if he kept his eyes closed, the tears couldn’t escape. Frigga wrapped her arms around his bandaged chest, careful not to disturb the injury. Slowly, the All-Mother pulled her son into her arms. She held him close, supporting his back to stay up. The other hand cradled his head, so it rested in the crook of her neck.

The movement startled Loki. Not to the fact that she did that, but the fact that he could only feel half of her touch. His limp arms hung at his side. The painful tingling was getting worse from use. Loki ignored it and raised his trembling arms to return the embrace of his mother. His clumsy fingers got caught in her soft dress. Her scent filled his senses. He could feel his mother’s calm breath on his neck. Loki couldn’t help but let out another choked sob. His mask was cracking.

“It’s okay, Loki,” she whispered into his ear, “You can let it out. I’m right here.”

That was all it took for the floodgates to open. No matter how tight Loki shut his eyes, the tears pushed past. They dampened his mother’s dress as they streamed down his face. Loki let it out. He let out all the frustration, shame, and anger that bubbles up inside of him. The feelings poured out in quiet sobs. Loki shoulders wracked him in each shaky breath he took before falling into another fit of tears. Through this, the All-Mother stayed quiet; the only thing she did was hold him tight.

Eir watches the young prince cry his heart out into the queen’s arms. He was not the only one who was crying, Frigga shed tears of her own. As both sat on the bed together in a loving embrace, Eir decided it would be best to leave them be. They will probably be like that for a while. She quietly slipped out the door and closed it behind her. Even though the thick oak, Loki’s cries could still be heard. The heart-wrenching sobs hurt her own heart.

The healer pulled her hand up to rub her tired eyes. She pulled back when she noticed her cheeks were wet. Eir realized she was crying. Out of all the patients she’s ever treated, never once has she cried for them.

They were tears of realization…

…realization that the Prince of Asgard has been crippled.

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Next Chapter: Assessing the Damage

Word Count: 4,533

Written On: 10-20-19

Updated On: 0-0-00

Posted On: 11-4-19

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: Assessing the Damage

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Frigga held Loki for hours. He sobbed quietly until passing out from exhaustion. The All-Mother never let go and held is sleeping form. No one bothered them during this time. Eir made sure of it. Even Thor was barred from entering.

She carded her fingers through her son’s inky hair. It was a motion that calmed him ever since he was a babe. Whether or not he was aware of her gesture, she continued. Frigga only stopped a few times to wipe away his tears or pull the blanket over him.

It wasn’t surprising… Loki’s reaction. Frigga couldn’t blame him. It was traumatic even for her. She can only imagine what it did to her youngest, most sensitive son.

Another half an hour passed by before Frigga heard the door creak open. She assumed it was Eir but was surprised instead to see her husband. The All-Father came into the room quietly upon seeing Frigga on the bed with their son fast asleep in her arms. He rested Gungnir in the corner of the room before approaching the bed.

It was hard for Odin to believe the small boy in her arms was his son. He saw Loki originally when Thor returned with Loki in his arms, but it has been a long time since he visited. The All-Father has still yet to see his son awake. After the incident, Asgard was in panic over the attack of the prince. It took a lot of time for Odin to assure his people they are safe. With Loki’s sacrifice in battle, Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three were able to take the upper hand of the ambush and defeat the dark elves. Loki, of course, didn’t know any of this yet. In some respects, the All-Father hoped that telling his son will help. If knowing he helped protect Asgard, maybe that it will help him in his recovery.

Frigga watched her husband as he was in deep thought. Although not showing it to an extent, she knew Odin was just as upset over the situation as she was. Loki was always his problematic child but loved him, nonetheless.

“How does he fare?” Odin asked in a hushed tone.

“As expected…” she whispered back, “It was upsetting for all of us.”

The All-Father nodded somberly, “Thor came to me after he had to leave this room.”

He paused; his one eye downcast to his sleeping son again.

“He too was quite upset…”

Frigga followed his gaze down to Loki. She rubbed circles around his cheeks and noted his flushed complexion. The fever seemed consistent. It started right after Loki returning from battle. It was the accursed dark magic.

“The fever still persists?” Odin asked.

“Unfortunately, so,” Frigga sighed, “However, the next time he wakes, Eir wants to asses the full extent of his injuries.”

“I see…”

There was a long pause as the parents watched their son sleep. It was interrupted again by a light rapping on the door before opening. Eir appeared and quietly entered the room. She had with her a small rolling cart with medical supplies. As healer pushed it aside, she gave a small bow to the All-Father.

“Hello, my King.”

Odin nodded and waited for her to rise. He had much respect for his best healers. Still, he was upset they were unable to help his son. But even he could do no better. The guilt was personal weights on each of their shoulders.

“I am sorry to interrupt,” Eir whispered, “But the council is waiting for you at the meeting.”

Odin sighed, “I am aware… but thank you. I just wished to see my son before I go back to my duties.”

The All-Father reached and cupped Loki’s cheek. He frowned at its warmth. Loki always ran cold, so the temperature difference was concerning. It was still a secret that Loki was a Jotunn. The only ones who knew where Frigga, Eir, and himself. They all planned to keep it that way.

“I will come to visit again as soon as I can,” Odin promised before looking at the healer, “Please keep me updated on his health.”

Eir nodded, “Of course, Your Highness.”

A weak smile of thanks tugged at his lips, but he couldn’t follow through with it. Odin grabbed Gungnir and silently left. The room was quiet now except for the faraway chatter from the foyer down the hall. Eir just used her magic to close the door.

The healer turned to the Queen, “How has the prince been this afternoon?”

“He has not moved since,” Frigga replied.

Eir went over to retrieve the cart she pushed into the far corner. She stationed it next to the bed. Organizing the supplies on its shelves, she planned how to proceed.

“I need to change his bandages, as well as check the injury,” Eir explained, “Now that he had the potion, I hope to see improvement.”

Frigga agreed. She was eager as well to see if the medicine they concocted was working. She was in an awkward position though. Cross-legged and resting against the headboard, Loki laid nestled up in her lap. There was no way the All-Mother could move him without jostling him enough to wake him.

Eir picked up on that and held out her arms to take Loki. Frigga pulled the blanket off of them and allowed the healer to snake her arms under Loki’s legs and shoulders. She did it with shocking ease before stepping back to allow the Queen to climb off. It took Frigga a minute since her legs were asleep from being crossed for so long.

Once she stepped off, the All-Mother tidied up the bed and folded the covers down to the bottom of the bed. Eir then placed Loki down as gently as possible without disrupting the bandages. As careful as the healer was, it didn’t matter, Loki already was starting to stir.

Loki felt his head lay against the soft pillow that wasn’t there a second ago. Even just the touch didn’t help the headache he just realized he had. His eyes finally fluttered open. The first thing he saw was Eir and Frigga looking down at him.

He knit his brow in confusion.

“Where…” Loki’s voice was hoarse from all the crying, “Am I?”

Frigga came right up to his side and gently cupped his hand. Every time he woke up, it was always the same question.

“You are still in the healing chambers, child.”

It took Loki a minute to recall why he was there. As realization soaked in, his expression visibly changed. The confusion turned to utter depression. Not responding, he tried to swallow, but his throat felt thick. The unpleasant taste in his mouth from the potion was still there. He tried again in hopes to rid the taste.

Before he knew it, Frigga’s hands cupped under his arms and pulled him into a sitting position. Eir swooped in and propped up the pillows to keep him up. The motion made Loki a little dizzy.

“Sorry, my love,” Frigga bent down to his level and put a kiss on the top of his head.

Loki frowned at the gesture, not liking to be babied. He watched as Eir went and picked up a glass of water off the side table.

“Here, drink this,” she said holding it up to him, “It will help your throat.”

Loki would have said no, but he was too thirsty. He felt dehydrated from crying so much. Lifting his shaking hands, he grasped the cup; however, Eir didn’t let go. Loki eyed her, frustrated that she didn’t trust him after last time. The healer just took control of the glass and guided it to his lips. She let Loki be the one tilt it up to sip while she held on.

The cool water tasted wonderful as it washed away the medicinal taste in his mouth. Loki tipped the cup higher to drink it more vigorously. He ignored the water that leaked out of the corners of his mouth and dripped down his chin; it just tasted too good. It only went on for a second before Eir pulled the cup from his lips. Loki shot daggers as the glass escaped from his grasp. He made it clear he wasn’t done drinking yet.

“You will be sick if you drink too much at once,” the healer explained before giving a soft smile, “You can have more later.”

While Loki was distracted by glad being pulled away, Frigga took her sleeve and wiped her son’s face of the dripping water. Loki immediately flinched and pulled away from her touch.

“Stop,” he grumbled, “I am not a child…”

Frigga smiled, “Of course you’re not. I was just trying to help you.”

Eir can sense Loki’s mood changing for the worst. She didn’t want it to go downhill while she has yet to assess him and his injuries. Eir didn’t want to hold up this inspection any longer.

“Loki,” the healer called to get his attention.

It worked and Loki eyed her wary. He watched her pull a small tray off the cart beside her and rest it on the bed. There were multiple small metal tools neatly lined up across it. Loki had no idea what any of them were. He was starting to think he didn’t want to know.

“I’m going to examine the level of mobility you have,” Eir explained to Loki- and Frigga as well.

Loki seemed hesitant about this examination she was talking about. He watched the healer pick up one of the tools on the tray. The object had a metal handle with a triangle-shaped rubber bit at one end.

“This is a reflex hammer,” Eir held it up for them to see, “I’m going to test the reflexes of your legs and elbows.”

Frigga held Loki’s hand as she noticed he trembled a little. She tried her best to comfort him as Eir leaned over Loki’s legs. When she placed her hand on his leg, she looked up to the prince for a reaction.

“Do you feel my touch?”

Loki looked down at her hand and sighed, “No...”

Eir felt bad for asking but wanted to make sure. She held the tool in one hand and lightly tapped right under Loki’s knee. Eir was hoping to see his leg jerk at the tap, but nothing happened. The healer moved to the other knee, but it didn’t move as well.

Eir tried to appear positive, “Let us try your elbows now.”

Holding one of Loki’s arms by his bicep, she instructed him to leave his arm limp. Eir tapped near the elbow and got a slight reaction- a small relief. Thankfully, the other arm did the same. It wasn’t a good reflex, but it was one, nonetheless. Eir put the tool back on the tray and picked up another. It looked just like a long, skinny metal pen but, underneath the cap, was a small needle-like point.

Loki immediately flinched. He hated needles. No, he didn’t hate them; he was terrified of them. He grabbed his mother’s dress and pulled on it to try to get his body to twist away. Loki’s eyes didn’t leave the tool.

Eir quickly spoke up when she saw Loki’s eyes widen in horror.

“No, no! It’s okay!” she assured, “The tool will just touch you lightly. It is not meant to pierce your skin.”

Loki still wasn’t buying it. The All-Mother had to position him back onto the pillows as he started to topple over. It took her a minute to get him to calm down. She ended up climbing onto the bed with him to ease the anxiety.

“It is only a small prick, child,” the All-Mother assured as she rubbed circles on Loki’s bareback.

“I’m just going to use the end to touch your skin,” Eir said, “I will start at your feet and move my way up. Tell me if you feel anything.”

Loki licked his lips nervously and nodded, his grip on Frigga’s hand tightened.

Eir started with poking his foot in three different spots: the sole, a toe, and the top of his foot. Loki never flinched or responded. Even though it was probably numb to him, Eir had to ask.

“Did you feel any of those?”

Loki just shook his head. He didn’t feel a single poke. It was very distressing to him. Not that he was surprised, but the reminder didn’t help.

“Okay then, I will continue.”

She moved onto his shins and thighs, stopping ever so often to check if he was okay. When Loki didn’t respond, she moved to his lower abdominal- unfortunately with the same result. Eir knew that soon Loki would feel something as she moved up. He had movement in his arms, therefore some feeling. How far down it goes was the question?

“Loki, I’m going to try a few spots on your chest now, so you might feel these,” the healer gave a soft smile, “Just remember, it won’t hurt.”

Eir had to work around the bandages that wrapped his chest. Thankfully, she could just lightly tug them aside without disturbing to wound on his back. Below his breast, he felt nothing, but Eir could tell Loki was starting to get nervous. It wasn’t until she touched right under his collarbone did, he flinched.

Frigga instinctively grabbed his arm in assurance, “Did you feel that?”

Loki took in a shaky breath, “Y-yes… a little.”

“That’s good,” Eir reassured the prince, “Let me do your arms and we will be done with this.”

Eir worked her way down each on Loki’s arms. There were parts on his arms, mainly the underside, that had only a slight sensation to them. Overall, Loki felt most of the pricks in his arms; It was a good sign to Eir.

After the poking, much to Loki’s dismay, she moved onto using an ice cube and a heated spoon in the same way. All of which have the same results. The paralysis was consistent with all skin reactions. The tests didn’t stop there, Eir continued to assess his strength and mobility in different tests: grip strength, arm rotations, even testing fine motor skills by picking up small objects. Loki’s coordination was greatly affected by the attack. He could do some of the things, but it was very limited and shaky.

Loki was tolerating all these tests to an extent but quickly grew tired and irritated. The process was increasingly discouraging. The All-Mother stayed quiet the whole time other than a few words of encouragement through the harder ones. It was mostly Eir doing the talking and walking Loki through each thing.

After they finally finished, Eir looked down at the parchment she’s been writing on periodically. There were multiple pages of notes, therefore it took a few minutes before she spoke.

“I know this was hard, but I’m glad we did these assessments. These will help us in the future to help you heal.”

Frigga looked a little calmer hearing the healer’s words. She knew that if anyone could help her son, Eir could.

“Do you know exactly the injury we are talking about?” Frigga asked.

“From my tests, it seems to be the dark magic has given Loki a form of incomplete quadriplegia from the collarbone down, with the exception of your arms,” Eir explained as she wrote down more notes, “Although… his arms did sustain extensive nerve damage.”

“Is that suppose to make me feel any better?” Loki mumbled, casting his eyes down.

“Loki…” Frigga sighed, “I understand this is difficult, but please be more respectful. Eir is here to help.”

“It’s alright, my Queen. I would not expect a positive response to such news,” Eir said before eyeing Loki’s grim expression, “However…”

The healer’s pause got Loki’s attention, curious about her response.

“I think physical therapy would help your coordination and endurance. Once your wound has healed, and you are able to get some strength back, we can begin. Any way we can help you gain back some independence, I know you will like.”

Loki nodded in agreement, although the action still was very unenthusiastic.

“Some independence…” he thought to himself in a mocking tone.

Frigga’s face lit up, “That would be wonderful. Don’t you think, Loki?”

He just nodded again.

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The healer had all the tools put away and started to pull up bandages off the cart. She rested them down on the bed in an organized fashion.

“Before were let you rest, I need to change your bandages.”

The last time they changed his dressings was back when Loki was still unconscious. He is long overdue for more of the healing salve and moist compresses. Eir didn’t want it to get anymore infected and angry as it already was from the dark magic.

“Unfortunately, I can’t have you laying down for this,” Eir pointed out. The healer remembered how previously another healer would have to sit next to Loki on the bed and sit him up. They would have to hold him underneath his arms and cradle his upper body on their chest.

“What does that entail?” Loki asked. His voice grew more and more irritated. The tests were enough. Did they honestly need to do this now?

“Frigga will hold you up while I reapply your dressing,” Eir explained.

Loki frowned, not liking the sounds of that. He’s already had to be held up to drink and some of the tests. He asked himself again how this was necessary to do now.

Frigga was already next to him. She cupped his cheek and noted his tired eyes.

“It won’t take long,” she said, “I promise.”

Loki reluctantly agreed. Frigga lifted him up into a seated position and held her son against her tightly. Eir was swift in removing the bandages. She was eager to see if the medicine was working. Unfortunately, the wound looked the same. The healer was at least relieved out didn’t look worse. Hopefully, the medicine will continue to improve it in the future.

It took more time to reapply the numerous salves, compresses, and bandage him back up.

Eir was just finishing the last of the dressing while Frigga continued to hold Loki’s upper body against her chest. She noticed her son’s head start to sag onto her. He was obviously exhausted. They’ve been poking and prodding him for almost three hours. Both were surprised Loki even lasted this long.

“Are you ready for a nap, darling?” Frigga tucked a stray hair out of her son’s face.

“No,” he mumbled into her dress. He obviously was in desperate need of one but didn’t want to say, “I do not need to nap like a child.”

“I never said you were a child,” the All-Mother frowned a little hurt by the comment.

“Loki,” Eir just finished putting away the supplies and turned to him, “Your body is healing and needs rest. That does not make you a child.”

Not having the energy to argue anymore, Loki just agreed to rest for a while. Before they played him back down, Eir came up with the glass of water again.

“Would you like a little more water before laying down?”

Loki was hesitant. He just wanted to sleep, but he was just so thirsty… Eir did promise him more water anyway.

So, Loki quietly nodded.

They helped him up again and guided the cup to his lips. Loki once again tried to drink as much as possible before it inevitably was pulled away again. After resting him down onto the bed, Frigga pulled up the blankets to his chest. Loki was already fighting to keep his eyes open.

“You rest now, child,” the All-Mother walked and closed the curtains to the room; the sunlight dimmed to a low glow.

Frigga walked back to her son’s side and leaned over. She smoothed back his hair before planting a kiss on his head. Loki, who was only semiconscious at this point, only gave a low grumble. It only made her chuckle and cup his cheek. The slight fever was noted by the touch. Frigga decided to wait until he woke up to address it further.

“I’ll be back in a few hours,” the Queen rose from her spot and headed to the door. Eir was already there waiting with the door held open for her. Frigga has one last look at her -now sleeping- son and walked out. Eir did the same before closing the door behind them.

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Next Chapter: The Harsh Truth

Word Count: 3,445

Written On: 11-29-19

Updated On: 12-9-19

Posted On: 12-12-19

Chapter Text

Chapter 4: The Harsh Truth

A/N: Finally got this done after all this time. Sorry for the wait guys. It’s been one hell of a few months. HUGE things have been happening for me at both work and home (and note this pandemic mess). All these chapters are half-written. It was just getting around to finishing and editing them that took so long.

Anyways, my apologies again. I’ll try to not let that happen in the future.

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***Story Warning: The whump is massive in the one! This- overall- is one giant whump-tastic story! So, you want the whump? You’ve come to the right place!

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Loki was jostled from his sleep by the world shifting around him. He tried to open his eyes but found it difficult. They were swollen from all his crying. He assumed now he must have been doing so in his sleep as well.

When everything tilted again, he let out a small moan. All this movement was making him dizzy. The last thing he wanted to do was throw up.

Loki wondered what was shaking him so much.

“Shh. Go back to sleep, my child.”

The voice was Frigga’s. Loki knew that voice anywhere. It was soft and comforting to hear… and, oddly enough, sounded very close. He tried to look around to see, but he found his head was nuzzled up against something warm. He could smell the familiar sweet hint of floral fragrance and feel soft curls tickling his face.

Loki finally forced his eyes open and tried to blink them into focus. It took a minute before his vision finally cleared enough to look around. He realized his head was leaning against his mother’s chest. Confused, Loki glanced down and realized he was bundled up in her arms, not on the bed. Loki panicked and tilted his head to see the All-Mother’s. She too was looking at him. Her caring, blue eyes gave off nothing but love.

“What...” Loki said before swallowing thickly, his voice sounded very hoarse, “What are you doing?”

Frigga’s smile started to seem forced. She pulled one of her hands free to smooth his hair down. Loki didn’t appreciate it but accepted the gesture, nonetheless.

“Everything is fine,” she insisted, “Go back to sleep. You are tired.”

He most certainly was not going to go back to sleep… not in his mother’s arms that is. Loki was completely perplexed over all of this. It was hard to see what was going on being tucked deep into his mother’s arms. It was then Loki realized then just how small he has gotten for her to hold him like this.

“Is he awake?” a voice asked across the room. Loki could tell it was Eir.

“Yes, he just woke up,” Frigga responded while still trying to soothe her son in her arms.

“I will only be a moment,” Eir replied.

Loki could hear the healer doing something, but his position didn’t allow him to see. He was starting to get frustrated. Loki looked up at Frigga and frowned. The All-Mother made it clear by her expression that she didn’t want him to ask her any questions about it. She tried to adjust her position to keep Loki from looking towards Eir.

“It will only be a moment for what?” Loki frowned.

Frigga sighed. She knew she couldn’t lie to her son. It would only complicate things further.

“We are just changing your sheets, sweetheart. Nothing to worry about.”

“Why?” he stared back at her, innocent and confused.

“It is nothing to worry about,” she repeated.

Loki was fed up with this. As out of character as it was, Loki pulled his head out of his mother’s loving touch. He tried wiggling his arms free as they were pinned to his sides.

“Loki, stop!” Frigga hugged him a little tighter to hold him in place.

“Then tell me!” Loki snapped as he looked back up at her in desperation.

Frigga caved. There was no avoiding the obvious.

“You had a little accident while you were asleep. Eir is just changing the bedding out.”

“An accident?” Loki blinked, still confused by her wording.

He wriggled enough to crane his neck over her arm to see. Eir was in the process of stripping the sheets and pulling out new ones. All the blankets were on the floor, except for the fitted sheet. His eyes widened at an obvious wet spot in the center of it. Heat rushed to his face and he turned back to face his mother, horrified. Loki was convinced that couldn’t have been him. There was no way it could have been.

“That… that was not me!” Loki stammered.

“Loki, it is alright. We wi—“ his mother tried to assure him, but Loki cut her off.

“I-it must be water that spilled!”

“No one could have done that,” Frigga stated, worried her son was so admit against it.

“A-a servant must have walked in and—“

“No one has been in here but us.”

“I would have known!” Loki blurted out. He started to feel tears forming in his eyes, “I-I would have felt it!”

“Loki...”

Loki couldn’t look her in the eyes anymore. He kept his head down in disbelief. It was hard to try to find a reason for all of this. He couldn’t believe that it was true… or so he thought that until he saw the undergarments he was wearing. The clothing was completely soaked through and reeked of urine. Now, Loki had a hard time convincing himself it wasn’t him.

Trying to blink the tears away, Loki noticed Frigga hug him tighter for comfort. It made him realize his soiled shorts were right against her. It pressed against her arm and on her beautiful, emerald dress.

“Put me down,” he muttered into his chest.

The All-Mother shifted him so she could see his face.

“Why is that? Are you hurting?”

“No,” Loki whispered, “I want to be put down because… because I am disgusting.”

“Loki, you are not disgusting!” Frigga gasped.

“Yes, I am!” he snapped again, raising his voice, “My clothes are soiled!”

“It does not bother me in the slightest,” she gave a weary smile back.

“But—“ Loki started to protest before his mother stopped him.

“What bothers me is you are in wet clothing. We shall get you into some dry ones soon.”

Frigga said it didn’t bother her, but it bothered Loki. This constant feeling of shame never ends… he sadly predicts it will stay that way. Eir’s said the possibility for a full recovery was close to impossible.

“Loki, stop moving,” Frigga said, soft but firm, “Your wounds are still healing!”

“No,” Loki shook his head, “Put me down!”

“Eir is almost done,” his mother sighed, “I know it is uncomfortable, but it will soon be over.”

“But I cannot…” Loki grunted as he tried to free his arms, but they were too weak and pained to comply.

Frigga knew she was running out of time. Eir was rushing to get everything set up. Instead of trying to get him to calm down, she thought maybe distracting him would work. The All-Mother looked around for something to do. She could see the half-empty potion sitting on a side table. Knowing that he still needed to drink the rest anyway, she decided to use that. Frigga made sure she had a good grip on her son in one arm before going to retrieve it.

“Here,” she said, grabbing the glass container and holding it up for Loki, “Finish your medicine.”

Loki wrinkled his nose at the cup. The aftertaste of it still lingered in his mouth. He questioned how much that potion really worked. It’s not like it helped him to walk again.

“I am not drinking that while you’re holding me,” he stated flatly.

The healer quickly finished the sheets before the situation got worse. She added an absorbent cloth to lay him on, followed by a towel for extra precaution.

“You can put him down here,” Eir patted on the towel, “He should be sitting all the way up while he drinks.”

Loki was relieved Eir was on his side about not being held while drinking it. He still wasn’t anywhere near relieved about anything else… but what else is new?

Frigga put the container down and carefully shifted him in her arms to position him upright. She sat on the bed so she can gently bring his legs down. Loki couldn’t feel the towel against him, but he knew it was there as Frigga pulled her hands from under his legs. His mother tried to get him to sit upright, but his body was limp. At one point in the attempts, he felt like he was falling when Frigga shifted her hands. Loki immediately panicked and held onto her arm. She had forgotten that he wasn’t just paralyzed in his legs, but his chest too. Frigga felt stupid for thinking he could even sit up on his own.

“Eir,” the All-Mother said as she climbed more onto the bed to support him better, “Could you grab the medicine?”

The healer quietly nodded and retrieved it. Coming to join the other two on the bed, she held up the bottle for him to drink. Loki, as much as he wanted to take the drink from Eir, felt like he would fall if he let go of Frigga’s arm. His arms trembled to keep a tight grip.

“It’s okay,” Eir touched the lip of the cup to his mouth, “You do not need to let go. I will hold it for you.”

Loki tried to pull away, but the cup followed his lips.

“Loki, you must drink it all,” Eir pressed.

With nowhere to go, Loki gave up and allowed Eir to help him drink. It tasted bad, if not worse from the last time. He scrunched his face in disgust but didn’t pull away, trying his best to choke down the medicine.

“You are doing so well,” Frigga said, trying to encourage him, “You're almost there.”

Swallowing the last drop, the glass finally left his lips. He had to catch his breath a little, swallowing every so often to fight down the nausea. If he ever had to drink that again, Loki feared it might not stay down next time.

Frigga waited for Loki to recover from drinking the medicine before slowly lowered him to lay on the bed. She made sure his lower half was still on the towel. Loki’s eyes already started to feel heavy after laying down. He fought to stay awake.

“I just need to change you into some dry clothes,” the All-Mother brushed the hair out of her son’s face, “Then we will be done.”

Panic rose in and took over the exhaustion. His eyes widened and darted straight to his mother. Loki completely forgot he was in wet undergarments— he couldn’t feel them off course. But Frigga wanted to change his clothes… like an infant. He would be naked. The very thought sent Loki into a frenzy.

Loki has always been extremely self-conscious about his body; his was like no other Aesir’s. Unlike their strong build, light hair, and tan skin, he was slim, pale as the moon, with jet-black hair. Ever since childhood, Loki was so confused about why he was so different from the others. His parents just said he was special, like his ability to do magic even though he was a man; only women could do magic. Loki never bought that excuse but stopped asking after they would tell the same story. He still wonders what they’re hiding from him.

His self-consciousness grew as he hit puberty. Unlike Thor, his voice never changed to that deep, rich tone of his brothers. He was made fun of for the slight femininity to his voice. In fact, he was mocked about everything: his weak build, the fact that ‘only women do magic’, and most upsetting to him was about a certain characteristic of his body.

Once when they were late teens, the brothers went to the public bathhouse. Loki was dragged along by Thor even though he was very shy. All his male friends were there. It was then Loki noticed their bodies. He had never seen a naked man before; all different types of hair that grew on the boys. Loki, however, had none. His whole-body white and smooth like porcelain. At that moment one teen ripped off his towel— being the only one wearing one— to expose his sleek body. They all laughed and joked he must shave his arms, legs, and male parts.

Loki snatched the towel back and ran away as fast as he could. He could hear Thor in the halls still screaming at his so-called ‘friends’. Loki his in his room for days and cried. He didn’t allow anyone into his chambers, except the All-Mother. She hugged him tightly but gave Loki the same reason on how he is special, and that is why his body is different. It was that day that stuck with him. Loki grew even more reserved, about his body. He only wore long sleeves and pants, never would let anyone see him bathe or undress again in the presence of someone else.

“Loki?”

He broke out of his memories when he noticed the All-Mother was waiting for him to speak; to say it was alright and to let them change him. But Loki couldn’t do that. His emotions started to bubble over all over again.

“Please!” Loki begged, his green eyes pleading at her, “I can’t do this anymore! I don’t want to!”

Eir reappeared in Loki’s view. She had a few hand towels draped over one arm, and a small basin of water in the other. Both women didn’t seem to be affected by Loki’s pleads. Eir set the items down on a nearby rolling cart and eyed the prince.

“Take some deep breaths for us, okay,” the healer said, noticing his frantic breathing.

“We are just going to clean you quickly,” Frigga added, “But first, let us get you out of these wet clothes.”

Loki wished he could kick their hands away. There was no way he’d permit them to clean him. Changing his sheets was painful enough. When they started to stray towards the bottom of the bed, Loki was almost in tears.

“Yo-you can’t do this to me,” he choked as if he thought that would somehow convince them to back down.

“I will not allow my child to lay here like this,” Frigga stated softly.

“I cannot feel anything, so it does not matter to m—“

“Do not make this more difficult than it needs to be,” Eir interrupted, her voice soft but stern. Loki was starting to test her patience.

Loki’s defense was falling apart. He didn’t know how to get them to leave. The women went back to work and started to tug on the waistband of his shorts.

That was when Loki lost it.

“Stop!” he screamed, making both Eir and Frigga jump and the urgency in his voice.

Loki let out a soft sob after that and tried to get his hands under him to push himself up. His arms barely responded as they quaked by his sides but failed to push him up at all. Loki growled and grit his teeth, hoping to find some ounce of strength in him to move. His eyes screwed shut and grunts to lift his protesting arms. He flinched when a hand cupped his cheek. Opening his eyes, Frigga was now beside him. She looked ready to cry herself.

“Loki… child, you must calm down.”

“I-I can’t!” Loki choked out a sob, “I can’t!”

Tears now streamed down his cheeks. Frigga pulled her hand away tentatively. His crying caused the women to exchange looks before turning back to him.

“I will help you then,” the All-Mother whispered, “You are too upset. This is not good for you.”

“No! Please!” Loki cried, “I’ll be good! I’ll be good!”

Frigga just looked down at her frightened child. This is truly traumatic for him. She rested her hand down on him again, but this time it was his fevered forehead. Frigga’s heart aches to look into her son’s fearful eyes.

“Just relax, Loki…” she hushed and closed her eyes. Frigga allowed the spell to flow from her hands, into her fingertips. The golden aura reached Loki’s forehead and absorbed into his skin. Almost immediately, he felt the overwhelming urge to sleep. He was far too weak to even attempt to fight off any type of spell. So, through his tear-filled eyes, Loki looked at his mother one last time before closing them.

The All-Mother waited for a few seconds before pulling her hand away. She, herself, shed a tear. Loki was not the only one hurting over this.

“It was the right choice, my Queen,” Eir laid a supportive hand on her shoulder.

Frigga wiped her eyes and got up. Together they undressed him and washed him with damp washcloths. Putting him in new undergarments, Frigga pulled up the covers and tucked him in. She let out her held breath and faced Eir.

“Will he be okay?”

“This is a lot for someone to take in,” Eir said, “Especially for someone as sensitive to their pride as Loki. Only time will tell.”

The healer started to collect the supplies and clean up. Frigga stayed by her son’s side and gently clasped his hand. She watched the calm rise and falls of his chest. It was such a difference from less than an hour ago.

The Queen turned around when she heard the door open. Eir had all the supplies in her hands as she looked back at Frigga.

“I was going to check his wounds after all of his moving around,” she said, “But I believe it is best to wait. Loki is putting too much strain on his body already. It is not good for him.”

Frigga nodded in agreement with her comment before Eir spoke again.

“I will return shortly once I put away the towels,” she turned around and disappeared into the halls.

The Queen just nodded again, too upset to say anything. Eir knew that she wasn’t going anywhere. She was going to keep watch by her son’s side as he slept on his spell-induced slumber.

Frigga couldn’t help but to go back to the memory from an hour ago.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

[An Hour Earlier]

Eir was talking to a nurse in the hallways on matters when the Queen came out of Loki’s room. The healer couldn’t help but notice the concern in her face. Since Loki’s been asleep, she wondered what could have caused the All-Mother distress?

Frigga approaches the two women, “Eir… we have a little problem.”

The head healer excused herself from the nurse and followed the Queen back to the room. When she opened the door, everything still looked exactly how she left it. Loki was still nestled in bed, asleep. But then she realized something was off. On the bed, a section of the bedsheets by Loki’s lower body had a large, wet patch on it.

Eir had to stand there for a second to register it. A million thoughts ran through her head on why this would happen. The diagnosis she gave him was just that.

Frigga turned to Eir, “Should we not have given him so many liquids before bed?”

The healer cast her eyes down before staring at her Prince again.

“Possibly…” she hesitated, “Or—“

“Or?” Frigga asked.

“I… did have some fears,” Eir looked nervous to say, “I never brought them up for Loki showed no symptoms. But it has not been long either…”

“Fears?” Frigga wasn’t liking the words she was using. Now, she waited anxiously for her to continue.

“It is known that spinal injuries can cause loss of bodily functions, leading to incontinence. Aesir really do not have this problem and, if so, it is only temporary. We heal at an accelerated rate it passes quickly. But Jotunn… or an injury from a cursed blade…”

She looks at Loki.

“… I am uncertain.”

Eir quickly picks up on Frigga’s distress.

“Oh, but do not worry, my Queen!” she adds quickly, “‘Tis only speculation. There are many other reasons. The sleep charm may even be a cause. It may have caused his body to relax a little too much.”

The All-Mother didn’t look anymore convinced, “So we just keep an eye on this then?”

Eir nods. She paused for a second before responding.

“Do you think Loki will under the spell long enough that he will not notice us changing the sheets?”

“The charm was not a strong one,” Frigga replied, “I merely wanted it enough to help him into a sleep…”

“Well, unfortunately, it seems we have no choice in the matter.”

Frigga sighed. Everything was going from bad to worst. Her poor son was pelted with problem after problem.

“Eir, I will hold Loki if you can strip the linens.”

“Of course, my Queen.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

After quite a few hours, Loki finally stirred.

“Good evening, my sweet,” Frigga was there and stroked his tangled hair out of his face. She always found herself doing that. It was comforting to herself to just to be close to her youngest boy.

Loki was too groggy to remember what was going on. He blinked rapidly trying to clear his vision. Scanning the room, it was clear it was not his personal chambers. Loki felt the overwhelming exhaustion just laying there, but he didn’t want to go back to sleep.

“Where…” he croaked before swallowing to moisten his parched throat, “Where are we?”

“We are still in the healing chambers, my child,” Frigga responded. She was not used to her child’s voice sounding so broken.

“Then why can I not remember it?” Loki’s expression grew worried.

“Sleeping charms can cause amnesia sometimes. But, do not worry, your memory will return shortly,” she assured.

Frigga noticed Loki cast his eyes down, his shoulders were shivering a little. They still can’t put a shirt on him yet. The wound needed to be tended to too often. So, Frigga took the thicker blankets folded at the bottom of the bed and brought them up to cover his shoulders.

“Loki are you alright?” the All-Mother asked when he didn’t knowledge her gesture. Loki looked more sullen by the second.

Loki finally looked up to her.

“I’m fine… my memory is just slowly coming back.”

“You do not need to think about it,” Frigga said, her hands came back up to cup her son’s cheek, “All of that is in the past now.”

A knock came to the door. Frigga kept her seat next to Loki and used magic to crack the door open. It was Eir who peeked her head in. She excused herself from interrupting and slowly opened the door. As she entered the room, she was carrying a basket full of different bottles and jars of various colors and sizes. Loki immediately didn’t like the looks of that.

“Hello, my Queen,” the healer gave a small bow before turning to Loki to do the same, “Good evening, Loki.”

Eir set her basket down on the side table and started to line up the containers on its surface. She excused herself for a second to go into the bathroom to grab a few hand towels.

“You were sleeping for quite some time. Do you feel more rested?” Eir asked when she came back to his bedside. She looked at her prince with hopes that he did.

Loki cast his eyes down at the bed again. He looked… defeated.

“No.”

“Well, I will try my best to help you with that later,” she replied, “But first I will re-examine your wounds after having to move you around so much.”

Loki suppressed a groan. He wasn’t up for this— he never was, but it was something he had to deal with now. Loki tried to get his arms underneath him to lift himself up, but the strength eluded him. The women quickly saw and went to prop him up. Frigga cupped under his arms and lifted him slightly. Loki let out a small yelp in pain. He bit his lip down in hopes to stifle it and beg they didn’t notice.

They noticed.

Frigga immediately laid him back down to his original position and pulled her hands away. She had just hurt her son. Her precious, fragile son. Frigga’s heart immediately filled with guilt.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! My poor baby!” she apologized profusely, “Did I hurt you?”

Loki shook his head. He couldn’t be more embarrassed by his fragility, “No. No, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure you are not hurting?” Eir added.

“Yes. I’m sure,” he added quietly.

She leaned forward and looked him in the eyes intently. Loki didn’t like that. The woman was trying to read his eyes, searching for lies. If he adverted his eyes, Eir would know he was lying. Instead, he had to gaze back at her. Even in his peripherals, he could see Frigga looking on with a worried expression.

“I am going to ask you a different question since your tongue seems to be weighed with lies,” Eir said. She was frowning, “Where are you hurting?”

Loki broke the gaze. He was caught.

What does it matter anyway…

“Loki...”

It was the soft voice of his mother. She was concerned. She was always concerned— now more than ever.

“My arms,” Loki admitted before he paused.

Eir raised her brow, “And...?”

“... and my stomach.”

The healer leaned back up, semi-relieved. To get any information out of the prince, no matter how small, she must squeeze it out of him. It was always the case when treating Loki, no matter how big or small the injury.

“Your stomach probably hurts from the medicine. Coupled with not eating would make it worse,” she explained, “I will call a servant to fetch you something light, perhaps broth.”

Loki didn’t like the sounds of that. Just the very thought of food made his insides twist uncomfortably. He also didn’t want anyone else in here… walking in on him like this. Pathetic.

“I am too nauseous to eat,” Loki said.

“Then at least we should give you more water to help flush your system in the meantime,” Eir turned and immediately grabbed a pitcher of water and a small cup from a table in the room.

“I’m not sure—“ he tries to protest, but the healer continued to pour water.

“Well, let us give you a little,” Eir brought back over the glass of water, “Your voice sounds a little hoarse.”

Frigga sat on the bed and gently cupped her son’s hand.

“I will be extra careful this time, I promise. Just tell me if I am hurting you, okay?”

Loki nodded and braced himself for the pain. The All-Mother climbed up into the bed with him. Loki was thrown off by her as she carefully slipped her arms under him and pulled him up into her lap.

Loki frowned, “Why did you not just prop me up on the pillows?”

Being picked up and put into his mother’s lap was humiliating. He laid against her arm and was hugged onto her chest. It very much was a cradled position for his lifeless body. The fact his body was small enough to do that was horrifying enough.

“This is better support,” Frigga explained, “I can tell by the way I lifted you that this did not hurt as much.”

Loki knew she was right. As of right now, his arms were hurting too much for him to be lifted from underneath them. It was painless if he was just bundled up into their arms and picked up that way.

Pathetic. Loki repeated to himself.

Eir came to him with the glass. She didn’t hand it off to him in worries again he can’t hold it. Before she could lift it to his mouth, Loki tried to lift his arms to grab it. It was extremely painful as it felt like his nerves were on fire. They spasmed uncontrollably as he only lifted them an inch. Loki could help but to let out a small whimper and let his arms fall to his sides. He couldn’t do it. It hurt too much.

“That is probably the nerve damage you feel,” Eir explained, “I will look at your wound and then see if I had something to help relieve the pain.”

Loki just nodded again weakly. This was too frustrating to deal with. He had no choice but to allow them to hold the glass for him. Frigga took the water from Eir and made sure her son was propped at a good angle. Loki drank as much as he could without trying to be too sloppy. As careful as he was, water still spilled down his chin. Eir subtly came in and used one of the towels to wipe it up.

Once he finished, Frigga repositioned Loki so Eir could access the wound. She took her time undressing it and adding different healing salves to it. The burn looked no different than before, but thankfully it didn’t look any worse.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

They finished up redressing the wound. It took a little longer than expected. Loki was growing uncomfortable and in pain. He had to be shifted around multiple times until the pain was tolerable enough.

“Now,” Eir said and helped Frigga lay Loki back down flat on the bed, “Let us see what we can do about your arm pain.”

Eir moves to his left side, while Frigga got off the bed and situated herself by it on the right. The healer started to run her hands up and down Loki’s arm. Her touch didn’t hurt him, in fact, he only felt half of her touch from the numb locations on his arm. However, when she asked him to move his arm on his own, the pain was intense.

“Can you explain the pain?” she asked.

Loki was reluctant to show any more weakness; it was obvious, however. It’s not like he has any dignity left to lose… he lost all of it this morning.

“It feels like pins and needles are under my skin,” Loki explained quietly, “When I try to move them myself, it is as if my arms are on fire.”

Eir nodded, “That is very textbook nerve pain.”

“Do you have anything that might cure it?” Frigga finally asked. She didn’t want to interrupt her son. It was important that Loki’s voice was heard and gave him to explain it in his own words.

“The type of nerve damage he has is irreparable. However, I may have something to help it temporarily,” the healer explained.

Eir thought for a second before turning around to her lineup of bottles on the table. Looking through them, she read each carefully before moving onto the next one. Loki stayed quiet through it all and tried to see what she was doing.

“Let me try this one,” Eir picked up a small jar. She twisted the lid open to reveal a white cream with a very earthy smelling fragrance. With two fingers, Eir dipped her fingers in and pulled out a generous amount of the balm.

Frigga held Loki’s right hand in comfort while Eir started to apply the ointment to the other. Loki didn’t want to admit it, but it felt good. She massaged the cool cream along his arm, taking her time to gently knead it into the skin. Slowly, but surely, it seeped into his skin and started to numb the pain. Loki didn’t show any reaction but felt a huge relief lifted off of him. He just watched her hands work while, on his other side, he could feel his mother give his hand a squeeze of reassurance.

“I have only seen paralysis injuries a handful of times throughout the centuries. Nerve pain is expected with these.”

Loki didn’t look up to her at the comment and instead kept his eyes on her working hands. Only seen this a handful of times…? Probably because all of them healed just fine. None were stabbed with a cursed sword to the back …

Since Loki seemed to have shut himself out of any more conversations, Eir decided to break the tension by chatting with Frigga. The healer discussed the other items she brought for Loki and what the plans are on moving forward.

After a few minutes, she looked back down to make sure she spread the balm evenly on his arm. Doing so, she spotted something out the corner of her eye. The burgundy sheets that laid over the prince had a dark spot in the middle. Eir assumed it was some type of pattern in the fabric, but quickly saw the spot grow wider; it stemmed from Loki’s waist. Trying to be subtle, she didn’t stop massaging Loki’s arm but looked to study his face. Although looking a little more relaxed, he wasn’t anywhere close to being asleep. Loki was awake enough to have to know what was going on around him.

Frigga was still rubbing Loki’s hand on her own on the other side when she could feel Eir looking at her. When she glanced up, she noticed the concerned look on the healer’s face. Before Frigga could open her mouth to ask, Eir slightly nodded with her head towards the sheets. The queen stayed silent and followed her gaze. Her heart broke to see the large, wet spot in the middle of the sheets. She did the same as Eir and immediately looked to glance at Loki’s face. Like before, his expression was blank, just watching the healer’s hands continue to slide up and down his arm.

It was clear now to both of them. The injury to his spine has not only lost Loki’s control of his chest and legs but his bladder as well. After this morning, the women were hesitant to speak up. They could read each other’s expressions as if they were telepaths. Eir nodded in a way to express if Frigga wanted her to be the one to tell Loki; or if she wanted Eir to. The Queen bit her lip and thought about it for a second. No matter who it comes from, it will be hard to hear for him. Frigga lifted back up to look at Eir. She shook her head ‘no’ and used her free hand to gesture to herself.

With that acknowledgment, Eir pulled her hands away and acted as if she were to gather her things to start on the other arm.

“Loki…”

He heard his name from his other side and slowly turned his head to see his mother. Loki immediately took note of the odd expression on her face. It was very hard to read.

“My child,” she said placing her other hand on her son so both clasp his, “How do you feel?”

The question made Loki knit his brow in concern. Eir hasn’t even put the cream on the other arm. Why would she ask this to him now when they’re only halfway through?

Unsure, Loki responded.

“The balm has helped numb the pain…”

Frigga pressed her lips in a firm line.

“Is there anything else that you feel bothering you?” she asked.

Loki didn’t like this at all. There was something else to this. It wasn’t just a simple question. Since Eir wasn’t saying anything, Loki looked to her for a sign.

“Why are you asking me this?”

He now noticed that Eir has since stopped massaging his arm and just looked down at him. Their looks only fueled Loki’s anxiety. What were they not telling him?

“What!?” Loki started to panic.

The sheets around his waist were now soaked. You could see his thin legs as the wet fabric clung to them. It was obvious he didn’t notice it as it would be very uncomfortable. This only solidified their diagnosis.

“Loki,” Frigga squeezed his hand to get her son’s attention, “Please calm down.”

Loki looked, “How am I supposed to be calm with your hidden intentions laced in your questions?!”

Loki was right. They constantly try to keep things from him. Things they know will upset him and cause distress. But now, Frigga felt obligated to tell her son. It was his body after all.

“As Eir was treating your arms with the balm…” Frigga started but found the wording hard, “You seemed to have had… another accident”

Loki blinked, utterly confused about that sentence. Another accident? He searched his mother’s eyes for a more descriptive answer.

In his attempts at looking at each of them, his eyes caught sight of the bedsheets. To his utter horror, Loki could see how they clung to his legs.

No. No. No… Please no! Loki pleaded in his head. His face turning a bright red.

“One of the bottles must have spilled on me,” Loki immediately blurted out in defense. He wasn’t sleeping this time so it was confusing to him how he could have done that.

“My child,” Frigga looked down at him, clearly upset, “Please do not start this again…”

Loki was searching for words, for answers.

“I-I didn’t… I didn’t feel it though!”

“We know,” Eir said, “That is the nature of the problem.”

“Th-this doesn’t make sense!?” Loki was falling deeper into a panic.

Eir quickly came closer. She knelt down at the side of the bed, instead of the chair, so she can be at eye-level with him. It was hard to catch his frantic gaze, but Eir finally got his attention.

“Loki, your nerves and muscles have been severely damaged. Those types of things control your ability to hold your bladder and alert you when you to eliminate. With those lines severed, there is no control.”

“But—“ Loki went to argue again.

“Please do not fret, my son,” Frigga started to card her fingers through his hair again. There wasn’t much else the All-Mother could say. She can give all the words of comfort and assurance, but it won’t take away the feeling of humiliation.

Loki held back more tears. He felt the only thing he did as of late was cry. He cried when he got hurt. He cried when he found out about his injuries. He then cried when he wet himself. There was no situation yet where Loki came out with dry eyes.

Loki now, obviously, needed to be cleaned and changed again. The process the prince couldn’t even handle the first time. At the very least, Eir was at least prepared when she took that precaution to lay some towels down for him to lay on. It meant they only needed to replace the top sheet and the towels, not the fitted sheets underneath.

Eir stood up slowly from her kneeled position. Loki’s eyes nervously followed those movements.

“How about we clean you up and then we can discuss how to move forward?” Eir suggested calmly.

Loki’s breath seemed to quicken upon her bringing up cleaning him again. He screwed his eyes shut and bit his lip to hold back a scream. The anger faded out quickly when he opened his eyes again. Eir has already taken the top blanket off; of course, he never felt it. Loki wished he could just curl in on himself and die. That, or just become deaf and blind to his current situation.

He didn’t say anything as Frigga told Eir to do the sheets and towel while she held him again. Loki laid helplessly as the healer agreed and the All-Mother easily scooped him up into her arms.

Once again, Loki couldn’t hold back the fat tears that rolled down his cheeks.

I hate this. I hate me… he told himself.

He cried silently as he saw Eir pull off the urine-soaked towel from off the bed. Again, there was a pile of soiled sheets on the ground.

“What did I do to deserve this…?” Loki choked into Frigga’s dress.

“Nothing,” the All-Mother responded softly, “Do not say things like that. You have done nothing wrong.”

“Clearly, I have for the Norns to curse me with such a fate!” he cried back.

“Loki, my darling, you are working yourself up again.”

Frigga could tell her son was overly exhausted. It would only take the slightest spark of a sleep charm to induce sleep on his fragile body. It would save Loki from all this pain.

The All-Mother decided to do it. The spell was so subtle that Loki would never know it affected him. That, and he was crying too hard to even notice.

Soon Loki found it too hard to cry. His lungs were exhausted from the effort. He realized everything was too tiring to do, even to keep his eyes open. Loki choked out one more sob before giving up. His body said sleep, but his mind said no. In the end, his body won— with the unknown help from the sleeping charm.

Once she was certain her son was asleep, Frigga looked up to Eir. The healer has stopped what she was doing to see Loki asleep. She knew the Queen has induced it.

“What are we going to do?” Frigga asked softly. Her voice sounded defeated, “Will we just continue to change his sheets as needed?”

“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” Eir replied, “As for the sheets, I do not like the fact of moving Loki around so much every day… he needs to heal…”

Eir paused, clearly thinking for long-term ideas before continuing.

“That, and this could lead to infection if he was left unattended for too long.”

Eir took another pause, this time much longer. This isn’t a problem that arises in her patients, so she has no past experience to help her deal with it. The healer looked at Loki. His small body looked so frail as the sheets of the bed engulfed him.

That gave Eir a thought.

“I suppose we could wrap him in cloth… as you would do with an infant.”

Frigga immediately turned to Eir, her eyes wide with the initial shock of the suggestion. Her face slowly receded to defeat as the All-Mother could not think of any other remedy.

“I know for certain Loki will not allow that,” Frigga sighed.

“There is no other option at the moment, unfortunately,” Eir replied. Frigga could tell the healer felt the same way.

“I know,” the All-Mother said, “But do you think we’re will see a change in the future?

Surely, this cannot be forever. She thought.

“I do not see this changing in any foreseeable future,” Eir answered grimly, “As far as I'm concerned, this is permanent. Dark magic still stirs within him. A recovery is slim.”

“Loki will be quite upset,” Frigga sighed again. She knew her son so well. The effects of doing this can play clearly in her head.

“Of course, it will hurt his pride, my Queen,” The healer walked over to stand next to her Queen in support, “But, for him, this is what must be done. Loki will have to learn to cope. His independence, unfortunately… is gone. He will now need to be tended to multiple times a day to be fed, changed, and bathed. That will be the way now. We cannot re-weave the threads of fate.”

Frigga looked at Eir with watery eyes before turning them down to her son. In sleep, he looked so young, so innocent. There were no lines of worry on his forehead, only wet streaks that once tears that fell from. She dried his cheeks with her sleeve and planted a kiss on the crown of his head. Loki didn’t stir to any of it, still locked in the sleeping spell.

They did their same procedure as before but there All-Mother holding Loki and Eir stripping the towels. The cleanup was fast. The women got him into dry clothes and added another towel under him. Once done, Eir has another healer come in to take the soiled linens away before she excused herself to go to talk to the Royal seamstress regarding Loki.

Frigga was asked if she wanted to join the healer on her new task but, of course, stayed behind. She couldn’t leave her son just yet. It was getting late and she knew she should retire for the night to be up and ready to care for Loki again tomorrow. But, after a few hours, it was clear Loki was too exhausted to wake and would probably sleep till morning.

Before she called it a night, the All-Mother double-checked that Loki was warm and dry. Tomorrow she will find Eir and all her how her talk with the seamstress with. Hopefully, this new plan will go well. Frigga prayed to the Norns to both give her and Loki strength through these hard trials ahead.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Next Chapter: The New Normal

Word Count: 7,527

Written On: 10-5-19

Updated On: 4-7-20

Posted On: 4-7-20