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Chapter Text

The Marchfeld near the village of Aspern outside Vienna, May 1809

Claudine’s thighs burned. You would have thought that the dominant sense in a battle would be sight; the columns moving, the clouds of smoke, the glint of weapons; or perhaps sound, the cannon roaring, the guns firing, and the cries of battle; all the things that her family asked her about on a regular basis in their letters, asking for vivid details, that made Claudine feel obliged to embellish reality.

Since reality was far different; as far as Claudine was concerned the dominant sense of battle was discomfort. Discomfort thanks to saddle sore caused by sitting in the saddle for hours on end watching other troops move about, and the aching tiredness of countless uninterrupted hours of consciousness. As for the ‘sights’ of battle; those were simply clouds of smoke that obscured the green countryside, and vague ghostly figures that shifted in the unknown beyond those grey and white spectres.

Claudine knew very little about what was going on. She was tired, annoyed, and had been staring at the same patch of countryside for hours. Her and the girls had crossed the bridge over the Danube before dawn and had been standing around ever since. The infantry that had been with them at the start had vanished, drawn off into the village to her left it seemed. Now when Claudine looked up and down the line she saw only horsemen.

Why? Claudine didn’t know. All that was to her immediate front were some Jaegers taking pot-shots at them, their rounds zipped harmlessly overhead with a sound like tearing paper. In the distance some enemy cannons were firing on the village that had caught fire, marring the blue sky with a column of black smoke.

Most of the others had dismounted, Kaoruko was catching up on some sleep; Karen, Mahiru, and Hikari were playing a round of cards betting favours for one another. Even the commandant was off of her horse, and Claudine wanted to join all of them. She definitely would have earlier if it wasn’t for Maya.

Maya, ever trying to outshine her, had stayed in the saddle. When Claudine rode up to her and asked her why she had given her a quick line about ‘being ready for action’ that ever present smirk on her face had made Claudine’s blood boil. It was clearly an implicit challenge to see who had the better endurance.

One she wasn’t about to lose.

Claudine sighed loudly resting her head on her horse’s jet black mane. She hated the uncertainty of it all, so she just stared blankly into space. Her eyes quickly wandered, against her will, towards Maya still sitting upright on her white stallion next to her.

She was resplendent as ever, you wouldn’t know that she had slept in a field last night with her perfect uniform, shiny buttons and badges, the hilt of her sabre polished until it shone like a ruby. Or how her hair lay perfectly brushed around her shoulders, cascading down her neck like a waterfall; and the way her eyes shone in the morning light, a radiant purple, the kind of eyes that Claudine could dive into. Her lips formed a straight line on her face, but were full and plump, Claudine could nearly feel their softness; she shuddered. Her eyes grew wide and she tried slapping herself to shake herself out of those sorts of thoughts.

“Infuriating woman” Claudine muttered under her breath, she hated that Maya had this effect on her, being so damned perfect all the time.

“Tired, Claudine?” Maya asked, giving Claudine a knowing side-glance, her lips curled into a slight smile.

Claudine sat upright again, blushing hard. “N-N-No! Of course not!”

“Are you sure? You looked like you were staring into space just then. I mean that ball a few nights ago was pretty intense. I wouldn’t want to think I tired you out too much.”

Claudine gritted her teeth, her mind flashing back to that night. The night when Maya had her wrapped around her little finger once again. First Maya asked her to dance, and how could Claudine say no? Especially when she was wearing that stunning red ball-gown that showed off her shoulders, hanging loosely around her hips like an old Roman dress. So of course Claudine had to accept her invitation. Second was when the upbeat music of the Waltz started, and Maya pulled her in close to her chest, hugging her against her body, skin on skin, leading her, pulling her in close until Claudine wasn’t sure whose heartbeat was whose.

It had felt so…intimate, which frustrated Claudine to no end.

Not like waltzing the night away with Maya wasn’t pleasant. Just the entire affair had been too much. Too much anger and frustration, too much chemistry, too much innuendo, Claudine felt the usual cocktail of anger, hate, affection, desire and so much more; only that night it was ten times worse. She was still recovering even now. How did that woman always manage to make her feel like that, just by existing? To make her relaxed and yet wound as tight as a spring, worried and yet indifferent?

Claudine tightened her fist around her horse’s reins again. Her mind was a mess of frustration, anger, and raw physical attraction, which she dared not look too deeply into for fear of realising something she knew she would hate.

“Claudine? Are you ok?” Maya asked her again, leaning over her horse, closing the distance between them, her brow wrinkled with concern.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine.” Claudine breathed, a warm feeling spread inside her chest. She tried taking deep breaths to steady herself, somewhat successfully, but whenever Maya acted like this, with genuine concern, it was a struggle. “I’m just making sure that I’m going to-”

The sound of galloping hooves interrupted her.

A man in a bicorn hat rode up the line brandishing a piece of paper and yelling.

“Aux Armes! Aux Armes!” he pulled sharply on the reins halting his horse in front of the commandant who snatched the paper from his hands scanning it while the messenger galloped off.

Further down the line Claudine could hear the distant sound of bugle calls echoing from other regiments, she lifted herself up craning her neck to see what was happening, the other girls had abandoned their distractions and were waiting in an eerie silence.

“Mount up ladies! We’ve all been ordered to make a play for those cannons over there!” the Commandant boomed waving the order in the direction of the Austrian cannons, and swinging herself up onto her horse. She waved at the bugler to her right and the call for the order to ‘Mount up’ was given.

In unison the hundred or so Hussars behind Claudine all swung themselves over their horses. The silence remained, punctuated only by the distant cannon fire.

In the distance though Claudine could hear one single clear bugle call, giving the one order they were all anticipating.

Advance.

The regiment’s bugler repeated the call and they all moved forward at a trot. The Jaegers in front had vanished having the good sense to scatter in the face of the wall of horse flesh.

Claudine kept her eyes fixed ahead on the objective steeling her nerves to urge herself to gallop headlong into the wall of steel that would be heading their way at any second. She felt a slight bump on her shoulder and glanced over to see Maya smiling at her.

‘Stay safe’ she mouthed. Claudine scoffed; Tendou Maya always did this when they were about to charge, subtly telling her that she doubted her abilities and distracting her from the task at hand. It was yet another way of belittling her.

So she had no qualms of returning that infuriating woman’s cocky grin and mouthing back to her ‘You too’ with a glare on her face. Maya’s smile widened almost like she attached a different meaning to Claudine’s insult.

The bugler gave another few sharp blasts on her trumpet.

Draw Swords

Now things were serious there was no time for her little games with Maya after this point.

A few Cannon balls flew to her right hitting some unknown target further down the line. Claudine resisted the temptation to try and look at the carnage they would have caused.

The order for Canter was given all too soon. The guns were no longer shrouded in smoke but crystal clear as Claudine’s horse covered leaps and bounds of green countryside, they were so close she could see the crews running about their guns, desperately hitching them up to their limbers to escape the onslaught heading their way.

She stretched out her sword in anticipation of the final order, singling out one gun in particular to drive for.

The Bugler gave the final blast that all the girls had been waiting for.

Charge.

At once a cry went up from every woman along the line, and all the horses surged forward in a reckless gallop towards their objective. The neat line that had existed at the start of the charge was transformed into a ragged mess as everyone pushed their horse to the limit.

Claudine could feel the muscles of her mount straining as she urged him into a gallop and she raised herself up from the saddle screaming at the top of her lungs.

She glanced over to Maya seeing who would make contact with the enemy first as they both pulled away from the pack, both racing each other, and every other horseman for the glory that lay just to their front.

One of the cannons limbered up and started to pull away. Claudine altered her course to intercept it and lost sight of Maya as they both smashed into the Austrian line at nearly the same time.

Claudine felt a little skip of pride at how close she had been to taking first comfortably. She rode alongside the cannon that was trying to escape and slashed at the ropes attaching it to its limber. The horses panicked and galloped away leaving the cannon and most of its crew useless.

All the waiting was suddenly worth it.

The adrenaline pumped through her veins. Today was the day that she finally bested Maya. She could feel it.

Her regiment joined her, galloping up behind her, there was a quick flash of blonde and white as Nana flew past. Claudine urged her horse on to keep up the momentum of the charge flying past their original objective. The charge was hopelessly muddled now, Cuirassiers and Lancers had gotten mixed in with the Hussars and it was impossible to believe anyone could control it.

Still Claudine rode on, assuming that Maya was ahead, desperate to catch up to her.

The Austrian infantry made a hopeless attempt to form squares to resist the charge but Claudine and the others simply avoided them, weaving between the defensive formations like water around rocks in a stream.

The line could be broken here. Claudine realised and she was going to be at the head of the breakthrough.

Bugles sounded to her right and Claudine heard a unified cry of ‘Hoch dem Kaiser!’ She looked over to see Austrian cavalry counter-charging them and gritted her teeth in frustration. The battle wouldn’t be decided today.

The two sets of horses slammed into one another with a great crash of metal and the dull whump of bodies crashing into each other. A great melee broke out, and Claudine found herself parrying blow after blow from different horsemen.

She swiped at one stubborn Cuirassier; there was a loud clang when the flat of her blade hit his breastplate which sent a jarring sensation up her arm. The move shocked the enemy for just a second, giving Claudine time to bring her sword down on his head. The man screamed and scrabbled at his face falling off of his horse.

Claudine panted, adrenaline shutting out any unnecessary sensations, even so her arm was beginning to ache from all the slashing. The noise was deafening, cries wounded horses and people blended together into a sound that was the stuff of nightmares, primal and guttural. It was a sound as old as time, and one that Claudine knew all too well, the sound of war. She rested for a brief second at the centre of the maelstrom of chaos, the flash of metal and writhing shapes of mud spattered horses made for an almost hypnotic sight.

Claudine briefly thought about Maya, a pang of worry flicking its way across her chest before she brushed off her concerns. “It’s Maya” she muttered to herself “She’ll be fine.”

A knot of Austrian dragoons untangled itself just to Claudine’s front, scattering in pursuit of some Polish lancers. What was behind them made Claudine’s mouth turn dry with anticipation; a lone Austrian colour bearer sat on his horse, bored, absent-mindedly playing with his flag.

If Claudine could capture that flag it would secure her eternal glory, and finally guarantee her victory over Maya.

And No-one stood between her and the flag that would wipe Maya’s smug grin off her face.

Claudine sheathed her sword and dug her heels into her horse’s flanks and sped off in hot pursuit of the colour bearer.

She saw his eyes widen in surprise when she emerged from the middle of the melee like a bolt of lightning. He wheeled his horse around trying to get away to safety but it was too late; Claudine was gaining on him.

His horse was bigger, designed for mass on the charge, not light and quick like her own mount.

Claudine licked her lips, she could almost feel the pole in her hands, see Maya acknowledging her victory, finally being hailed as Top Hussar.

The wind stung her eyes, pulled at her hair. Claudine couldn’t see anything else except that fleeing form.

Her horse panted, practically screaming with the exhaustion. Claudine shut out the protests.

She was so close, just a little further.

The Colour Bearer disappeared behind a small rise in the ground.

Claudine rode hard to follow him.

Out of nowhere a flash of steel drove at her head.

Claudine raised her sabre to defend herself blocking the strike from the desperate looking Austrian. The feral cornered look in his eyes would have terrified any other sane person at any other point.

Except Claudine didn’t see his eyes, or how tall he was, all she knew was he had stopped her besting Maya.

Claudine screamed in frustration and drove her hilt into her enemy’s face with a vengeance. He had robbed her of her chance for glory!  

Her punch took her enemy by surprise, and it connected with a satisfying crack, blood poured from the enemy’s nose, and the dragoon staggered back, unbalanced in his saddle, he fell off his horse with a splat into the mud below.

Claudine smiled; she felt like cheering. She could still catch the colour bearer!

She flung her horse over the rise screaming “Victory is mine! Ten-”

She stopped dead.

Only a few feet from the rise the colour bearer lay face down in the mud, his horse was riderless wandering off into the distance.

A rider, with a perfect uniform, shiny buttons and badges, and with the hilt of her sabre polished until it shone like a ruby, held the captured Colours aloft.

“No” Claudine whispered. “You can’t be serious…”

Maya smiled at her, holding the flag, her prize, while she cheered her on, all the time that stupid beautiful smile was glued to her face.

Anger roiled in Claudine’s stomach, frustration rushed to her face in a furious red.

Somewhere in the distance the French bugles sounded the retreat.

“TENDOU MAYA!!”

Claudine sulked away from the main camp, sat on a log somewhere near the main field of battle, preferring to let the darkness envelop her.

The battle had been inconclusive, which meant that now Claudine was camping with the rest of the army on the battlefield trying to ignore the carnage of the previous day.

An unspoken tension hung over the entire camp. The soldiers were uneasy since this was the first time that Napoleon had failed to claim victory in a single day. Many of the infantry were whispering over their wine about how fierce the Austrians had been today; how they weren’t the same army they had crushed countless times in the past.

This was all the more reason for people to swan around Maya; idolising her and boasting about her bravery in capturing the colours earlier today.

Which meant that there was all the more reason for Claudine to be sulking away from the rest of her friends while they ate and danced around the campfire.

At least Futaba had been along earlier to chat, and offer some consolation which was nice of her; even if Kaoruko had come sulking along eventually. It was nice that Futaba could still hang out with her a bit before her spoiled girlfriend stole her back because she’d ‘misplaced’ her horse for the fiftieth time again. As far as Claudine was concerned it was what she deserved for being too lazy to tie it up anyway.

It wasn’t like Claudine was hiding because she begrudged Maya stealing the glory from under her nose. At least, it wasn’t the whole reason. These things happened in battle, in war in general. In hindsight as well Claudine knew that there was a long list of small things she’d done wrong that meant she probably wouldn’t have succeeded anyway. She’d gotten a bad case of tunnel vision, letting that Dragoon get the jump on her, and she’d galloped from the start of the chase which meant her horse was too exhausted to keep going anyway. Not to mention the fact that they were close to the Austrian infantry. A fact that was hammered home by a volley that she and Maya had had to dodge soon after the retreat had sounded.

No what bothered her right now was Maya’s new fan club. Hangers on from different regiments and the infantry had seen her riding back and instantly gathered around her. It wasn’t like Maya didn’t have people who admired her in the regiment, but it was always a subdued respect, with an edge of unspoken admiration, or competitiveness, depending on the person. The way these other ‘fans’ squealed whenever she wandered by, the way they crowded round her. It was infuriating and Claudine had no idea how she put up with it!

Part of Claudine knew that it was a way of relieving tension, but another; much larger, part of her was jealous. That heavy acidic feeling hung around in her gut whenever she saw Maya entertain them.

Of course Claudine was jealous of the fact that they weren’t paying attention to her. The idea that she was jealous over Maya, it was enough to make her laugh.

Sure they’d had their moments since they joined up together, Claudine was willing to admit, and maybe one or two drunken fumbles, but that was mostly Claudine’s hormone’s and emotional immaturity talking.

Things were different now.

Maya wasn’t as much of a playgirl, and Claudine knew how to control herself now.

“As if I’m jealous over Tendou Maya…” Claudine whispered to the darkness. A breeze wafts by as if in reply, batting her cheek, reprimanding her.

Claudine sighed. No matter what the situation her thoughts would always drift back to Maya. Even now part of her was processing how majestic she managed to look. Part of her deep down knew that had to count for something. Right? Claudine leaned back on her log, the chilly night air biting at her fingertips; she was too tired to deal with this right now. “Does Maya get this way about me?” She asked the breeze again.

The wind was silent this time. Whatever spirits that controlled this world were probably laughing at her right now.

“Hey” Maya appeared from the gloom behind Claudine, and hopped over her log. “How’re you doing?”

Claudine scoffed, her ego going into defence mode. “Why do you care Tendou Maya?”

Maya ignored the question, her smirk looked different today. “I brought you some food, Daiba made stew like usual.” She offered Claudine a warm metal plate with a few potatoes and chunks of dried meat floating in a thin stew, a hunk of bread was laid on the side.

Claudine took the plate from her rival’s hands, and basked in the warmth it gave her fingers. Nana always did her best with the terrible rations they had, so it would be rude to refuse her hard work just because Maya was the messenger.

Claudine devoured her food, not realising until now how hungry she was. The two sat in silence while Claudine ate. Maya watching over her shoulder the entire time.

Claudine drained the lukewarm liquid from her plate before she noticed Maya looking at her.

It was those soft eyes she got whenever she wasn’t teasing her. Those eyes that Claudine wanted to curl up beside on a winter’s evening, because they shone with such warmth.

She choked a little, embarrassed at being looked at that way, embarrassed at her own reaction.

Maya laughed softly at Claudine coughing spluttering.

Claudine glared at her, red in the face thanks to the million feelings rushing through her heart right now. “So why are you here right now? Why aren’t you basking in the glory of your victory right now with your fan club? I hear they’re even calling you invincible now.” Claudine surprised herself with the venom in her voice then.

Maya cocked an eyebrow, “fan club eh?” She leant back against the log looking up at the night sky, chuckling slightly, “…that does fit them very well actually. I left them behind; they were beginning to get a little annoying.”

Claudine’s ears pricked up. Normally Maya didn’t mind the other troops admiring her blatantly.

“Annoying?” she asked tentatively.

“They don’t recognise that it was a team effort sometimes. That I’m not born a good rider, or a good swordswoman.” Maya looked at Claudine with those eyes again. Those burning irises, that smouldered with so much emotion. They reminded Claudine of the purple stained glass in the church at home, in the morning when the sun shone directly through it. Blinding yet, comforting all at once.

Yet this time all Claudine could see was disgust. Maya was…genuinely annoyed? It was so unlike her. Maya had only ever been fixated on claiming the top spot, while she acknowledged the others; she did seem the most aloof of their little group. She was always quiet, but in a way that said that she knew it all already, that conversation was below her.

It was yet one more thing about her that infuriated Claudine.

It made Claudine feel uncomfortable, she shifted her legs trying to dispel that compulsion to get up and walk around she got whenever she saw something that unnerved her. “Team effort?” She asked.

 “They don’t recognise that it’s only because I have such talented people around me that I’m as good as I am. They put it all down to me, I told them that you were just as responsible for capturing those colours; I even insisted that the Commandant mention you in the bulletin, but they don’t listen. They don’t realise that I’m only human, that it’s only because I have you all that makes me so good; that I have people like Junna to ground me, or the fact that you’re always chasing me. I’m far from invincible and I wouldn’t be anywhere near as skilled as I am today Claudine if you weren’t there blazing away behind me forcing me to push myself. You were the first who could compete with me.”

Claudine opened her mouth to say something, to protest that she didn’t need Maya’s charity over the colours, or that Maya was good enough on her own; but all words failed her. Her heart and head were racing at a thousand beats a minute. The Maya she had known four years ago, on the fields of Austerlitz, would never have even thought this way. Let alone admitted it to her out-loud.

The breeze blew again with a biting chill to it this time, one that made Claudine shiver.

“Cold Claudine?”

Claudine glared at Maya again, but the venom wasn’t there. It was killed by Maya’s words, smothered in the smooth honey of her deep voice. “Not really” she said, shivering again.

Maya took off her Pelisse and wrapped it round Claudine’s shoulders like the jacket it was so resembled. Leaving her arm wrapped around her shoulder Maya pulled Claudine into a hug, letting Claudine’s head rest on her shoulder.

Almost like she thinks we’re friends not rivals Claudine thought. “Agaçant femme…Just because you were nice to me tonight don’t think I won’t dethrone you tomorrow” she muttered.

Maya chuckled, but said nothing; she just kept looking at the stars.

Claudine surrendered to the soft fur lined coat-cape, and Maya’s embrace. She sighed and felt the tension of the day melt away, her muscles untwisted from their knots, her mind stopped focussing on everything that weighed on her mind, her rivalry, her desperate push to prove herself, the weight of defeat; all of it slipped away into the inky blackness of the night.

It just felt right to be like this with Maya. Not arguing, not jostling for number one, they just existed together without any strings attached.

Claudine closed her eyes and basked in the warm glow of the moment. It was like a warm stone had been dropped into her stomach radiating a sense of comfort outwards from within.

Moments like this were rare, last time that Maya had been this nice, this soothing, was two years ago and a hundred miles north of here. It was after Claudine heard her Grandfather had taken ill, the same grandfather who had encouraged her to take up riding as well as going towards the stage. Her parents forced her to choose the theatre, he made her realise she could have both. Maya had spent the night with her, while sober, and without any sexual undertones. After that night she spent in Maya’s arms Claudine had noticed that Maya just stopped sleeping with every barmaid in between Paris and Berlin when she saw them. Just another weird blip in the enigma that was Tendou Maya

“Hey” Maya nudged Claudine’s head slightly with her shoulder. “I should have mentioned that Daiba had got her hands on some sugar from Vienna.”

Claudine’s eyes shot open. “Banana’s making a cake??” she exclaimed. Her mouth started salivating involuntarily, it had been a while since any of them had eaten anything sugary, and an even longer time since Nana had gotten her hands on the ingredients for anything sweet either.

Maya chuckled again, “She was when I left to find you, I was going to bring you back, but you looked a little too comfortable here, so I guessed you wanted some space.”

“Oh so you can tell when someone wants to be left alone then.” Claudine cocked an eyebrow, lifting her head off of Maya’s shoulder and disentangling herself from her embrace.

Maya shrugged “I can always tell. I just choose to ignore it sometimes.”

That smug tone again. Claudine’s annoyance returned in full force. “You are insufferable sometimes!” Claudine hopped over the log, glancing back at Maya, unconsciously wrapping her jacket closer around her shoulders, admiring the care Maya took to maintain its scarlet colour even on campaign. She’s such a perfectionist. Somehow that thought carried no bitterness or resentment like it did this morning, just admiration, and warmth.

Claudine coughed when she realised she was smiling whilst rubbing her cheek on Maya’s Pelisse. “Come on, Mahiru can only restrain Karen and Hikari for so long. If we don’t hurry there won’t be any cake left.”

Maya smiled, “At least Hanagayagi isn’t there right now, so we might have some more time.” She held her hand out asking to be helped up and Claudine obliged her. They headed off in the direction of the sounds of laughter and a crackling fire.

The bugles sounded the order to advance somewhere in the distance. The sound rippling down the line as every unit’s own trumpeter repeated the call.

The battle still wasn’t won, and today was almost exactly the same as yesterday; sit in the saddle, looking at nothing on the same patch of ground, waiting for anything to happen.

Now at least they’d been ordered to attack, the only thing that made it different, Claudine noted while she trotted forward, was the fact that they were charging infantry this time.

Still today felt different. Not everything Maya did infuriated her, and she even found herself smiling when she was analysing Maya intensely like she did every day. Maya even smiled back when she caught her.

They drew closer to the ragged Austrian line in front of them, Maya bumped her shoulder when they drew near to the moment they were expected to draw their weapons.

‘Stay safe’ she mouthed again. Somehow her usual challenge felt less like an insult. For a moment Claudine was a little speechless, unsure exactly of how to respond.

The cogs in her brain eventually started whirring; ‘you too’ she mouthed back, this time a lot more self-conscious about the different meaning behind her words.

The bugler sounded the signal to draw swords. The tension was palpable even over the sound of pounding hooves.

Canter came all too soon. Claudine had yet to feel that familiar rush of adrenaline that would drown out any apprehension she had about charging onto a sharp steel point that could be braced. She felt a ball of fear, the size of a melon, twist in her stomach.

She glanced behind herself, her instincts were screaming at her to turn around, even though they’d kept quiet before.

She looked ahead, but her eyes couldn’t focus on anything. The dirty white line of soldiers ahead straggled and swarmed at the approach of the horses. For everyone must’ve it was a tempting target; for Claudine all she could see was the glint of bayonets. She pulled back on her reigns. Fear gripped her like never before, it wasn’t just the primal, adrenaline fuelled fear she felt every time she charged, no this was different. She was scared that something would happen to her and she’d never get to feel that peace she had felt in Maya’s arms last night again.

She saw Maya glance over, the crack of guns sounded ahead, mixing with the thundering of hooves into a deafening roar; and Maya shouted over it.

“IS THAT ALL YOU GOT SAIJOU? NO WONDER YOU ALWAYS LOOSE!”

Claudine flushed, taken aback. Yet her surprise quickly faded into pure, white hot rage. That..! Did she really just say that? That cocky bitch!! Bête Femme!! I’ll show her! She glared at Maya and extended her sword, determined to wipe that wicked grin off of her face.

The Bugler gave the final call, the signal to charge, they were waiting for, a cry of “Vive L’Empereur!” echoed up the line and everyone pointed their swords towards the enemy. Claudine yelled at the top of her lungs and spurred her horse onwards determined not to even let Maya pull ahead.

The glints of light sparkling off of the Austrian Bayonets that Claudine had been so apprehensive of before, became stars in the night sky that she was determined to pierce with her sword, to put Maya in her place.

She and Maya were neck and neck for their personal race to first contact, Claudine kept shooting glances at the Maya riding alongside her to check her progress. “Not enough” she muttered, “Its not enough!” She gave a final scream of “TENDOU MAYA!” before digging her spurs deep into her horses flanks, she made a mental note to apologise to her long suffering steed later after she beat Maya to the punch.

Her horse whinnied and began to pull in front, she was winning, and she was so close to the enemy she could see their terrified faces. Some were starting to break and run away.

Fools thought Claudine they’re safer if they stand their ground. She grinned though, it was good news. It just makes it easier for us now.

Claudine’s horse slammed into the enemy line, and she brought her sword down in a wide slash from above hitting some poor soul with a loud fleshy ‘thwack’ his cry of pain drowned out by the sound of battle. Claudine glanced at her sword which was covered in a thin sheen of dark blood. She briefly felt guilty, and a part of her stomach churned, and deeper still she felt that sickeningly familiar primal sense of perverted pleasure that she always felt when in battle and that she kept buried no matter what. Her horse took a few more steps with Claudine staring at her sword before the rest of the charge connecting with the disordered mass of men, and a bayonet thrust at her face brought her mind into the present. There was time to mourn later, now the adrenaline pumping through her veins told her she had to survive.

She parried the next thrust and kicked out with her stirrup sending the Austrian crashing onto his back.

She wheeled around, fighting to survive these brief seconds, hoping that the formation would break soon. Already men were scrambling in the mud below to get away from the melee, only to be cut down by other cavalry from elsewhere.

She looked around for Maya, desperate to prove her wrong for her earlier insult. The few Arrows embedded in the ground or in wounded soldiers that Claudine could see proved that Junna was nearby; she rode on slashing her way through the mass of soldiers and flesh.

A flash of brown hair and elegant riding that had no place on the battlefield darted across her front. Maya.  

She was fighting three soldiers simultaneously with ease, even using her sabre to pull one into the other with his own gun when he tried to stab her thigh.

Ever the show off Claudine scoffed internally.

With a few quick cuts the enemy soldiers were either disarmed or writhing on the ground, temporarily freed Maya’s eyes darted back and forth, quickly surveying her surroundings. She spied Claudine and smiled waving at her as well.

Gun shots sounded in the distance, for some reason they rang in Claudine’s ears for longer than they should have. Claudine looked around and heard a cry of ‘Gott Erhalte den Kaiser’ in the distance. They were being counter charged.

“Maya lets…go…” Something was wrong, Maya was acting too sluggish, she had the same goofy grin she had been flashing before, but now her face was slightly twisted; contorted in pain. Her hand she had been waving with hung limp by her side, her sabre fell into the mud.

“Maya!” Claudine yelled, she looked on in Horror whilst Maya fell from her saddle like a sack of potatoes dropped from a great height.

Claudine galloped over immediately, her mind was blank, yet it was so full of thoughts she couldn’t process any of them.

All she could see was Maya lying face down in the mud, deathly still.

No…No…NO!

Claudine felt like screaming. “Maya hasn’t lost, she’s not dead! This isn’t how it happens! She’s supposed to keep winning! She’s invincible!” she reassured herself under her breath.

She dismounted and instantly ran to Maya’s side, pulling her up, a gaping hole was torn in her chest, just below her collar-bone and her pelisse and shirt were stained with great splotches of mud and an ever growing dark patch that Claudine did her best to ignore.

Claudine clutched Maya close, trying to find a pulse on her neck. Her skin felt cold, so cold. It was like she was made from ice, but she could feel the stain of Maya’s blood seeping through her own clothes, hot and unbearably sticky.

Her pulse was weak, but an almost bitter laugh from Maya meant that Claudine breathed a sigh of relief.

“Maya thank god you’re-”

“I’m sorry Saijou.” Maya whispered with an air of finality, even with the sounds of battle all around her Maya’s breathed words were almost deafening, easily able to overpower the roar of blood in her ears.

“S-Sorry what do you-”

Maya pressed a finger to her mouth silencing her.

“I’m sorry that I danced around the issue for so long. I’m sorry I danced around our relationship for so long. I was a coward.”

Tears pricked Claudine’s eyes, she had a lump in her throat the size of a tennis ball that was trying to force its way out. Maya isn’t a coward, she was always so brave, so infuriatingly perfect. She pulled Maya in tight, prompting a wheeze and a fresh trickle of warm blood spilled out of her wound.

“I couldn’t tell you how I felt about you, I could only try and get close to you through stupid schemes, and acting. I started by sleeping around to make you jealous, but that was just painful for everyone, so I thought I was satisfied with just being your rival.”

Claudine gasped slightly at that admission. Maya had never ever acknowledged their rivalry out loud. “W-What do you mean by feelings.” Claudine’s lip trembled, her voice cracked. She didn’t dare hope; she couldn’t think of a worse time to have to confront what had gone unspoken for four years.

Maya laughed bitterly. “You were always there when I looked back Saijou. You were the only person who could compete with me, who could push me on to greater heights. It’s only natural that I’d fall in-”

“DON’T YOU DARE SAY IT! NOT LIKE THIS!” Claudine yelled, the tears that had been threatening to spill now poured out of her eyes in torrents, sobs wracked her body, she couldn’t even see the expression Maya had on her face anymore, everything was blurred, drowning behind a sea that poured from her eyes.

“Don’t say it like a goodbye…” Claudine begged, not just to Maya, but to whoever was listening, to whatever cruel fate had brought her here, conscious that the woman she loved bleeding out in front of her, she didn’t even care that she had finally admitted what she felt to herself, all she could feel was pain.

Maya brushed her hand against her face, and pulled Claudine in for a single, mud and blood encrusted peck against Claudine’s sodden, shaking, lips. “You’re even cute when you cry, Ma Claudine.”

“Maya…” Claudine couldn’t even breathe anymore. It was too much. “Don’t do this… don’t be so unfair…don’t leave me …”

Maya gave one final chuckle, and her eyes closed.

Claudine desperately yelled her name trying to find a pulse. Her throat burned, everything felt wrong, nauseating.

Her fingers pressed deeply into Maya’s neck, waiting, choking back sob after sob. Maya needed her to be strong right now.

She waited.

And waited.

Ba-dump

There! Claudine almost wanted to shout in excitement. A pulse! It was weak but it was there.

She ripped off her pelisse, and tore a sleeve off of the jacket, she pulled off Maya’s clothes and tore them into rags that she used to hastily bandage Maya’s wound.

The makeshift dressing sprung up in that horrifying dark stain again, but it looked like it would hold.

Claudine hauled Maya onto her horse, leaving her unconscious body slung across the horse like her saddle bag.

She mounted up and held Maya up hugging her from behind.  She rode towards the French lines; the battle had turned, and streams of men and horses were falling back to the bridges; but none of that mattered.

The only thing that Claudine cared about as she rode through the retreating French army was getting Maya to a doctor.  She pressed her fingers into Maya’s neck again. Her pulse was still there, but still weak. Her horse’s hooves clattered as she rode across the wooden bridge thrown up over the Danube, and Claudine didn’t take her fingers away from Maya’s tenuous lifeline once.

“Méchante…don’t die on me now.”

Chapter Text

Somewhere in Vienna. May 1809.

Maya ached. If her body was a blade it had definitely become dull. Her muscles refused to move and there was a painful throb near her right shoulder. Her mouth was dry and mealy, her throat parched and her head throbbed like it had after that night out in Paris celebrating her promotion. To cap it all off eyes refused to open and she felt like crap, like she was lying in muddy ditch and the mud had seeped into her very bones.

There was a warm weight that rested on her belly and someone was cradling her hand and her arm, fingers lying on her wrist.

Her mind was sluggish to process any data whatsoever; those sensations that did arrive felt foreign as though Maya was watching someone else feel things. The last thing she could remember was seeing Claudine in the middle of the melee, staring at her as always, then what though?

She forced her eyes open and flinched at the light. She was greeted by unfamiliar beams on the ceiling above her, while light filtered in through creaking shutters that were drifting in the breeze. The noise of the street below drifted up in a soft clamour that blended the light patter of people going about their business and animals running lose in the streets. A city?

Maya lifted her head up and saw that Claudine was the one lying on her clutching her hand; her golden hair splayed out around her head on the blanket; her soft golden curls catching the light like a halo.

‘She is an Angel after all’, Maya smirked at that thought, She’d always been reminded of the etching in an old manuscript depicting Joan of Arc when she saw Claudine, she shared the same sense of determination, the same fire, now Claudine even had the same saintly glow.

Yet her hair was still matted with globs of dirt and filth. She wore the tattered, torn remnants of cloth that had once been her uniform and her face and hands were still covered with flecks of mud from days ago, robbing her skin of its usual glow. Her cheeks were covered in filthy streaks that cut a path through the mud from her eyes to her chin. She had been crying…

Maya tried propping herself up further to brush some of the dirt off of Claudine’s statuesque face and regretted it instantly. A sharp pain radiated out from her shoulder causing her suck in through her teeth. She shifted to make her left take her weight.

Claudine opened her eyes, woken by Maya’s movement. She blinked a few times before seeing that Maya was awake. “Maya?” she whispered, “Maya…” again, almost as if she couldn’t believe that Maya was awake. Her eyes were still glossy with tears un-cried, and the gentle touch on Maya’s palm became a vice-like grip.

Maya smirked, Claudine looked cute most of the time, but when she was at the extremes of her emotions Maya could barely contain herself. It was why she teased Claudine so much, to see her pout, to see her angry, to see her smile.

She rubbed her shoulder and cocked an eyebrow at Claudine. “Who were you expecting Marshal Ney?”

Claudine wiped her eyes, her eyes flicked up and down Maya’s face, her face struggling between smiling, pouting and scowling. She rushed forward and hugged Maya tightly.

Maya felt Claudine’s arms slowly crack her ribs and choke her a little, her shoulder was screaming at her, that this shouldn’t be happening right now.

“Owowowowow Saijou, you’re hurting me!”

“I don't care you deserve this" she murmured into Maya' s shoulder.

Maya tried pushing Claudine away, but only succeeded in making them both fall back to the bed.

Claudine loosened her grip slightly. She scowled at Maya again for some crime that Maya had no idea about, her mouth morphing into a rough scrawl.

A knock at the door interrupted them; and Maya heard Futaba speak from the other side of the door with a defeated sigh. “I know you won’t come Claudette; but please you need to eat something, it’s been 3 days-” Futaba paused when she didn’t hear an immediate response and opened the door slowly. Her gaze met Maya’s eyes, a flash of surprise crossing over her usually resigned expression. “Oh, You’re awake.”

The surprise disappeared as quickly as it appeared and Futaba smiled; her eyes softening when she looked down at Claudine still clinging onto Maya. “Maybe now you can eat something.” she said softly.

Claudine huffed and swung herself up and off the bed, fixing the numerous strands of her hair which were trying to escape the pull of gravity. “I’ll go ok. In the meantime make sure this one doesn’t do anything stupid.” She jerked her thumb down at Maya and walked out the door.

Futaba chased Claudine out of the room trying to argue, but was back within a few seconds defeated.

“What?” Maya asked.

“She…She hasn’t left this room in days, every time we tried to get her out she refused. She even refused to eat while you were out.” Futaba took over Claudine’s seat and sighed again. “She really is troublesome that one.”

“Oh.” Maya said.

Silence reigned, conjuring an awkward atmosphere, normally Claudine was around to help talk to their friends. It was strange how Maya was able to effortlessly charm complete strangers, but unable to make even simple conversation with her closest friends.

Were they actually her friends?

What if they were all just tolerating her?

What if-

“Ahem” Futaba cleared her throat, cutting through the silence. “We lost the battle by the way.”

“Did we?”

Futaba nodded. “Maybe you should sit up, it’s kind of hard to have a proper conversation with a head in a blanket. It might be more comfortable as well.”

Maya pulled herself up, wincing while her shoulder ached. She finally got a look at her wound when the blanket fell away. She was thankful that she had her bandages wrapped in such a way as to protect her modesty. A dark brown and red patch blossomed out from her shoulder staining the bandages.

The awkward silence fell again. Both of them looked around the room uncomfortably. Although Futaba appeared to be taking slight glances at Maya’s body when she thought she wasn’t looking; looks of concern presumably.

Maya struggled to think of something to say, nearly resorting to commenting on the fact they both had hair.

The sound of a cart stopping in the street outside gave her an out.

“W-What actually happened to me?”

Futaba looked confused. “You mean Claudette didn’t tell you?”

Maya shook her head.

Futaba leant back in her chair. “You were shot and lost a lot of blood. The doctor said something about your humours being all over the place. Claudette picked you up off the battlefield and rode straight into Vienna. She found the nearest barbers and kicked down the door and demanded he treat you.”

Maya laughed it all sounded very Claudine so far. “I bet they were terrified.” She chuckled.

Futaba sucked a breath through her teeth. “We’re still staying in that Barber-Surgeons house, so be grateful if you see him. Maybe not laugh at him being threatened.” She narrowed her eyes into a look that instantly reminded Maya of her mother, all scolding and superior morality.

Maya closed her mouth and nodded, suddenly feeling like she was five years old and had been caught stealing Macaroons from the kitchen again. It was no wonder Futaba was able to control Kaoruko.

Futaba raised her eyebrow at the cowed Maya.

“Does she blame herself?” Maya asked

Futaba’s eyebrows knitted together and her mouth turned up in a hint of distain before settling back down to be as artificially neutral as possible. “I didn’t get much of a chance to speak to her since she was so devoted to you. But I know her well enough to say that she probably does.”

Maya simply nodded, that did seem like the most Claudine thing to do. To work herself up into a funk because she thought things were her fault. It was endearing at times, but it wasn’t always healthy. Right now Maya knew she had to talk Claudine out of it. A pang of guilt accompanied her rationalisation, thinking of the distress her carelessness had caused the person she cared for most in this world.

“I just wanted to show off to her…” she said sheepishly, twiddling her thumbs in the blanket at her lap.

“I know” Futaba sighed, “Its painfully obvious to everyone but herself that you don’t set out to antagonise her. But she doesn’t see it that way.” She rubbed her hand on the back of her neck, avoiding Maya’s gaze. “Tendou, there’s more…”

Maya cocked her head like a curious puppy whilst Futaba did her best to avoid her gaze. “More?”

Futaba gripped the side of her chair more intensely. “Claudette’s also on a desertion charge right now.  Hoshimi is trying to explain to the Commandant why she didn’t report to roll call for three days and deserted in the face of the enemy.”

Maya felt her mouth turn dry. Desertion was a serious offence, in the face of the enemy it was more so. If she was found guilty she’d be whipped in front of the whole squadron, maybe even executed. Silence reigned once more, although Futaba remained sat on Maya’s lap pinning her to the bed. She knew that Maya would try to escape no matter what anyone thought.

It was all too much, Claudine was going to be hurt because of her recklessness, the blunt ache of uselessness ate away at her insides, her mind worked overdrive to think of any way she could help, all the time dark notions of her own powerlessness chipped away at her self-esteem. There had to be a way!

The world fell out of focus and Maya threw her blankets off of herself, jumping out of bed, a bloodhound on a mission.

She tried to get up but got exactly thirty centimetres before Futaba pinned her to the bed by her wrists.

“Where do you think you’re going?!” she yelled.

“I have to explain to the commandant what happened! I can’t let Saijou be hurt because of me!” Maya struggled, but her wound and three days of sleep had made her weak.

Futaba manhandled her back into bed, pressing her into the mattress. “That’s why I told you Lieutenant Hoshimi is taking care of it! You need bedrest! Doctor’s orders! Do you want an infection?!”

Rage burned deep in Maya, Futaba was Claudine’s friend and she was stopping her from helping her! “I don’t care!” she yelled. “I’ll have them cut my arm off before I let them hurt her!”

Futaba scoffed and held firm “How do you think Claudette would feel about that!? If Claudette even finds out you’ve been up and about she’ll throw a fit! I don’t want to see her flogged any more than you do, but this is all we can do for now Tendou.”

Maya protested weakly that she could make a difference but Futaba wouldn’t budge. Maya’s body was too weak to displace her so eventually she gave up struggling.

Maya cried out in frustration mainly because she knew that Futaba was right, there was nothing she could do.

Another knock at the door interrupted their argument.

“I heard you were awake Maya~ Claudine’s out of the bath now Futaba, so if you want a wash I’ll give Maya her food and take the next watch.” Nana’s soft voice drifted through the wood.

Both women looked at the door and sighed, silently calling an end to the argument.

The door creaked open, Nana poked her head around the side.

“I brought some goulash.” She cocked her eyebrow at Futaba straddling Maya. “Am I interrupting something?”

Futaba coughed and pushed herself off of Maya. “Just keeping the ace of the regiment from doing something stupid.”

Maya grimaced but said nothing.

Nana fixed her gaze on Maya and gave her the thin lipped smile of a mother chiding her child. “Maya… don’t do anything to worry us now, especially Claudine.”

Maya still said nothing but now felt that familiar ball of worry spread through her stomach.

Nana’s smile softened and she held up her bowl of stew. “There’s some more for you downstairs Futaba, it’s got extra paprika in it too.”

The tension faded from Futaba’s shoulders and she brushed past Nana out of the room, her silence causing a healthy amount of guilt to blossom to join with Maya’s concern.

Nana sighed and shut the door, taking a seat on Maya’s bed handing her the steaming bowl of goulash and a hunk of bread. Her eyes looked tired Maya observed, something that was quite unusual.

“You should trust us more you know Maya. We’ll handle it. Futaba made it sound worse than it is anyway Claudine is hardly the only one to get lost. Sometimes you just can’t do things all by yourself”

An uncomfortable silence fell as Maya processed Nana’s advice.

Finally she spoke up in a cracked whisper “I-“ Maya paused to weigh her words. “I just worry about her…” her voice grew quitter with the admission.

“We know” Nana placed a comforting hand on Maya’s un-wounded shoulder. “We do too. I worry about all of you. But there are times that I have to accept that I can’t do anything, that god has taken the power out of my hands.”

“Even if it was Hoshimi?” Maya quipped.

Nana glared at Maya with an icy intensity she had not seen before, she gripped the bedside table so hard her knuckles turned white. Maya felt herself grow cold, her wound ached, and the world seemed to darken. She knew she had transgressed on that one barrier she shouldn’t, Nana’s feelings towards their commanding officer. She was unable to look away, like the man who could not help but watch the arc of the blow that killed him, Nana’s eyes possessed her.

Nana breathed. Her grip softened. “Even when it was Junna.” Her voice was still icy though.

Maya said nothing about how the hypothetical had changed into past tense, and instead quietly noted that Nana was perhaps someone it was best to avoid angering.

“Do you need any help eating?” Nana asked her voice disturbingly normal once more.

Maya shook her head, and began eating in silence, with Nana steadying the bowl, dabbing away stains when Maya’s one working arm dropped dollops of goulash over the sheets, and making idle small talk.

Nana and Futaba were right in the end. Claudine got off of her charge after Junna had pleaded her case, and dragged the doctor in front of their commanding officer to testify that she had arrived with a very bleeding Maya over her shoulder. After that it had been a simple reprimand about going to the proper authorities, and a brief written note in the divisional bulletin warning others away from doing the same. The whole army was re-building itself so it was unsurprising that no one could spare much time for a well-connected Hussar’s absence.

So Maya spent most of her reading, making small talk and playing cards with Kaoruko or Backgammon with Mahiru. It was a comfortable existence. She’d gotten to know the doctor’s wife, and the maid who came to give her baths when she couldn’t get out of bed.

Maya though bristled at being unable to practice. Even though she was no longer confined to her bed now, she couldn’t ride a horse or swing a sword, so she just stayed under the covers, and smiled for her friends when they put their heads around the door.

All of her friends except one, important person.

‘Why would she come and visit you?’

Maya shook her head, she couldn’t allow herself to start asking these sorts of questions, they only lead to one place.

‘She only cared about you because you were a person to beat. Now that you lie here wounded it’s clear that you’ve lost.’

“No…” Maya told herself, ignoring the voices of her own mind, her own insecurity.

‘You failed.’

“You’re wrong.” She whispered to no one in particular. She threw herself onto her side tossing the sheets in the air and screwing her eyes shut.

‘You lost and she knows it. She’ll never want to see you again.’

It was all lies. Claudine cared about her more than as something to beat.

‘The great Tendou Maya! Wounded and disgraced! You think she hasn’t beaten you now she dragged a waste of a person like you here to save your life!?’

“You’re wrong.” Maya repeated weakly, the force of her own arguments battering down her voice.

‘Then where is she?’ questioned her own mind.  ‘She’d have come by now if she cared.’

Tears pricked Maya’s eyes as what she saw as the truth overwhelmed her. Her stomach twisted in knots, her shoulder ached once more and all she could hear was the roar of her own inadequacy.

A knock at the door penetrated the noise. “T-Tendou?” Maya turned over in her bed to see Karen, resplendent in that crisp dark blue of a clean uniform standing in the door. “Are you ok?” she ventured, taking a step inside the room.

“Ka…Aijo. I’m fine.” Maya smoothed down her hair, and smiled, pushing her self-doubt to the back of her mind, whilst Karen quietly shut the door behind her.

Karen said nothing. Her eyes looked at Maya with sorrow the only emotion. “You’re not fine.” It was a statement not a question.

Maya opened her mouth, ignoring how the malicious tendrils of her own thoughts grew gradually from the background noise she had suppressed them to, to become a growing chorus of loathing and hatred so powerful it would make anyone un-used to the sensation physically wince. She tried to protest, but before she could Karen wiped away a tear Maya hadn’t even known was running down her cheek.

“You don’t have to be so strong all the time Tendou.” Karen said firmly, her eyes steely, matching the thin smile she wore.

Nana’s words about trust echoed in Maya’s mind, and a quiet. “Yes I do…” slipped out of her mouth, almost involuntarily.

Karen hugged her suddenly and Maya sucked in air through her teeth at the sudden pressure on her wound. Karen stepped away and rubbed the back of her head apologising. Instead she took a seat on the bed next to Maya facing the window that looked out over Vienna, she cradled Maya’s hand gently, as though it was a small bird. “Why?” She asked, staring at the scene through the window, where perfect white buildings in a gargantuan city were framed by mountains in the distance, and clouds above with the Imperial palace looking over it all. “Who are you being strong for? It’s not for us Tendou. We love you no matter how strong or weak you are. That’s what six campaigns will do to a group like ours.”

Maya’s thoughts swirled. A mess of argument and counter-argument, a vast dark sea of masks and lines she wanted to say all drowning the one thing she didn’t. At least that’s how it would have gone normally. Something about Karen today, her bronze hair framed by the afternoon sun, made Maya feel comfortable. Not the motherly comfort of Nana or Mahiru, or the needling routine of Kaoruko, not even that exhilarating comfort she felt when her sword was in her hand and the wind whipped her hair during a charge. It was a comfort that dove into that darkened sea, and plucked the thing she couldn’t normally say without a thousand masks to disguise it.

“Why aren’t you her?” Maya whispered.

“Eh?” Karen started, she shifted away from the window looking at Maya confused. “Why aren’t I her?”

“I was always strong, because of her.” Maya breathed slowly. “At first it was because I needed to be strong, for my parents…” She swallowed “I saw what happened to weaklings in their company.”

Karen said nothing, instead she indicated for Maya to keep on talking.

“After that I was strong for strength’s sake, empty pointless directionless honing of every skill and muscle. No one could best me, and so no-one ever tried. Until I met her.”

“Claudine.” Karen said with certainty.

Maya nodded. “She gave me drive. A purpose. She pushed me to become even better. She became the reason for everything. Not only my reason to be better at riding a horse, but even my reason for laughing, for singing, for breathing.”

Karen rested her other hand on-top of the one she already cradled.

Maya took a shaky breath; tears she hadn’t realised were forming dripped onto the sheet. “Why isn’t she HERE??” she screamed. “Everyone else came to see me, everyone else has spent time with me in these past weeks, and yet I haven’t even been able to speak with her! Why? Why won’t she speak with me? Why won’t she come and visit me? I know I failed her! But does that give her the right to ignore me like this? I can be stronger!”

Maya broke down sobbing. Repeating those words over and over again. “I can be stronger…I..c-an be s-strong-er-r.”

Karen embraced her again. Holding her until Maya’s voice was hoarse and there were no more tears to cry. Only then when Maya was still, her breathing calm against Karen’s chest did her friend speak. 

“Have you asked her why she didn’t come to see you?”

Maya looked up, Karen’s hair was framed by the sun once more. Her smile was kind, understanding, soft.

“N-No.” Maya answered confused by Karen’s question.

“You can walk can’t you though? Why don’t you go to her?”

“But she clearly…”

Karen cut her off with a wag of her finger. “Non Non Tendou. Don’t guess at what Claudette thinks unless you’re telepathic!”

Karen stood up from the bed and strode over to the window her hands on her hips silhouetted by the orange sunlight that trickled into the room like honey.

“You two are as bad as each other you know! Claudette is scared too you know. She just covers for it with anger instead.” Karen gestured dramatically to the door, the force of the motion flinging her pelisse in the air. “Go!” She shouted. “Go to her now! Aren’t you angry at her for not seeing you?”

Maya nodded.

“Aren’t you angry at her for not being honest with you about being scared?”

Maya nodded.

“Aren’t you angry at yourself for letting it get to this?” Karen gestured to Maya’s dishevelled state.

Maya nodded

“Then go!” Karen offered her hand and pulled Maya up from the bed, guiding her towards the door.

Each shaky step that Maya took towards the door made her confidence and anger grow.

“Go to her! Tell her how you feel!” Karen pushed Maya out of the door brimming with a righteous fury. She strode down the stairs, spooking the maid who was walking up the stairs to tend to her. The young girl flattened herself against the wall, knowing that she shouldn’t interfere.

Maya strode into the courtyard that was apparently just outside the house finding Hikari and Futaba sparring with their sabres whilst Mahiru read a book on a barrel.

Everyone stopped for a moment and stared at Maya as though she had just pledged allegiance to the King of England.

“Do any of you know where Saijou is?” Maya asked firmly.

Futaba cleared her throat. “U-Uh she’s in her billet across the street.”

Maya nodded and pulled on her boots under her night gown before striding across the street, not even bothering to stop for the wagons and coaches that were using the road. She had a more important thing to do anyway.

She rapped on the bright blue door of a tallish whitewashed building, with iron fences to either side of the stairs leading to the door.

An old footman opened the door, “J-Ja…Seine-“

“I’m here to see trooper Saijou.” Maya said stepping past the old man in his fraying green coat and pulling off her boots, not paying much attention to the old man’s questions, walking up the stairs with purpose. “Which room?” She asked halfway up the flight of stairs.

The old man pointed to the right, shakily, which Maya thanked him for. She marched down the finely decorated hallway flanked by unimportant paintings and trinkets to the one door that mattered. To the only person that mattered to her now.

She wrenched open the door with a great shout of “SAIJOU!”

There she was; as beautiful as ever. Claudine was sitting in a gold painted chair, half dressed in her uniform, with a hairbrush in her hand, staring out of the window. Maya’s breath caught in her throat at the sight, Claudine’s hair cascaded down her shoulders like thick honey, in the fading light her skin was smooth, but not unblemished, and there were bags under her eyes, although they hadn’t lost their striking rosy fire.

Claudine jumped at the shout, the hairbrush clattering to the floor, and Claudine almost joining it. “M-Maya?” She asked, not truly believing what she was seeing.

“Why haven’t you come to see me yet?” Maya growled.

“Wh…What?” Claudine still looked dumbfounded.

“Do you really think you’ve beaten me like this? That I’m not strong anymore?” Maya asked angry now, she closed the distance, pressing Claudine up against the window sill.

“O-Of course not!” Claudine yelled confrontationally.

“Then why Saijou?!” Maya jabbed Claudine in the middle of her chest. “Why didn’t you come and see me?”

Claudine crossed her arms defensively finding the painting on the opposite wall very interesting all of a sudden. “Why do you care?”

“Why Saijou? Why didn’t you tell me you were scared?”

Claudine squared off with Maya, and fixed her eyes on her. There was a fire in them and Maya could see the hackles being raised.

“Scared?” She asked with cold biting fury; narrowing her eyes. “Scared? That doesn’t even begin to encapsulate what I’ve been feeling Tendou Maya.” She spat out Maya’s name like it was some kind of poison.

Maya fell silent.

“Do you know what you did? Why I couldn’t even begin to think about facing you? How I couldn’t face you!”

Maya shook her head.

“Do you really not know?” Claudine asked quietly, glancing out the window briefly.

“How can I? If I knew I wouldn’t be here in my nightshirt would I?”

Claudine whipped around tears in her eyes and slapped Maya in the face, her cheek erupting in a burning warm flame. “YOU CONFESSED TO ME ON YOUR DEATHBED!” Claudine screamed at her.

Maya took a step back, remembering how it felt to have the life seep from her, to see Claudine’s face one last time, or so she thought. Even now she could see the mud caked on her cheeks, tracks cleared by the tears falling from her eyes. She recalled the words she had said. Why she had said them.

“Do you have ANY idea how selfish that was?” Claudine put her fists to her temples pulling at her hair as she paced in front of Maya. “Do you have any idea how I would have dealt with it if you had actually died? How I would have coped with the fact that the love of my life died in my arms telling me that all those nights I spent suffering in silence trying to get closer to you were for nothing?”

Maya pulled the screaming blonde mess that was Claudine into her arms and embraced her.

“I wouldn’t have coped Tendou Maya. You know that…I wouldn’t have coped. You would be sitting pretty strumming a harp on a cloud, whilst I was down here living with the pain! Do you know how long I’ve spent in that chair staring at your room desperately trying to think of what to say to you? How to reply! You are the most selfish, cruel woman I have ever known!” Claudine’s screams muffled by Maya’s night shirt. Her nails digging into Maya’s back.

“I’m sorry Saijou…”Maya apologised, quietly, holding Claudine to her chest. Her voice was almost a whisper, close, intimate. “But…” she continued, almost reluctantly, resting her hand on Claudine’s head. The righteous fury she had felt was gone. Yet she still needed to say what she had felt.

“Do you have any idea what I was thinking when you didn’t come to me? I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. Not strong enough. I thought we pushed each other higher and higher, and I thought you had left me to fall-”

“I could never leave you!” Claudine pulled Maya closer after she had weakened her grip. “You are the most selfish neurotic individual I know. You are my nemesis, my rival, an obstinate stubborn mess of a woman who needs to convince everyone she is perfect when she isn’t! I hate that I love you!” Claudine’s face streaked with tears emerged from the dirty white folds of Maya’s night gown. Moving closer, gradually ever closer to Maya’s with each word.

“But…” Claudine squeaked. What started as a full blown fury filled rant had changed into something softer. “I still love you all the same.”

Maya chuckled. “I have loved you since the day we met, Ma Claudine.”

Claudine softly chuckled too. “Now that’s how you confess.” She whispered intimately; finally closing the distance, and kissing Maya, their lips were dry, but that didn’t matter to either of them. The broke away and licked their lips before meeting again. Maya let her hands drift over Claudine’s body as her lips continually pecked at her. They drifted to the small of her back and her golden hair pulling their bodies together, guiding Claudine’s lips up towards her own. Maya felt her hair being messed up even further when Claudine pulled her head down to meet her lips.

Finally at some point they broke away. Standing in each other’s arms, simply looking at each other.

Maya breathed a sigh of relief at last. “So we finally said it…”

Claudine smirked. “I recall you said it first, but yes we finally did.”

Maya’s smile grew into a mischievous grin when she realised that their feelings for each other weren’t going to change their rivalry that much. “Karen was right about our communication though.”

“She talked to you too?” Claudine cocked her head.

“Oh?” Maya stroked Claudine’s cheek. “You’ve been chatting with her too have you?”

Claudine placed both her hands on Maya’s cheeks softly stroking them. “I was getting ready to march over into your room you know.”

“Ah but I suppose I was the one more invested in this relationship after all~” Maya theatrically swooned back her hand to her forehead.

Claudine swatted her hand as a warning, tutting.

Both women burst out laughing, and held each other again staring into one another’s eyes; dissipating any remaining tension in the air now all that was left was that feeling of contentment and warmth that could only be gotten by being in the arms of one you love.