Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Natasha’s eyes flutter open.  As her vision clears, there isn’t much need for adjustment. It’s dark; dawn must not be far behind.  Even from this high up, if she were to listen carefully, she might hear sleepless drone that is New York.  Thankfully, when the sun does come up, the blinds won’t come up until she or Steve tells Jarvis to lift them. 

Steve. 

Now she realizes that she’s not quite pressed against her husband as much as she would like.  She must have rolled away from him at some point.  She twists around and welcomes the darkened view of his sleeping form.  The sheets are drawn up to his sternum, so she doesn’t have as much of a view of his topless torso as she would like.  Still, she can’t help appreciating the peaceful rise and fall of his chest.

He spends so much time standing tall, being a leader to a motley crew made up of two brilliant scientists, a god, two former spies, and him—a man out of time.  All her life, she never thought she would end up sharing a bed—let alone marrying—a Second World War veteran.  Well, at one point, she never thought she would end up marrying at all, or even falling in love.  She did fall in love a few times before meeting Steve.

The more she got to know him, the more she saw that he wanted more than to just be a soldier.  Being a soldier is just want he knew.  After Nick Fury convinced him to join the Avenger Initiative, it didn’t take much more convincing to get him to get him to join S.H.I.E.L.D.  Besides partnering up with him, she inadvertently became his own personal chaperon to the twenty-first century which up until then he seemed to avoid. 

She started to see what a good man he was outside of being a soldier or a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.  Opportunities to spend time with him became something that she truly started to look forward to. 

He brought out a sense of humanity in her she didn’t know she had.  More than anyone, even Clint, she started to feel a sense of remorse when it came to things like killing.  She spent decades in a haze of apathy.  She didn’t care who she hurt; she didn’t care who she used her skills for, or on.  Maybe Clint didn’t cure that as much because he had a nasty background of his own.  He was an assassin sent to kill her. 

Steve has never assassinated anyone in his life.  The lives he took, the stuff that he did that gave him nightmares, were in service to his country and to free others from Nazi and Hydra power. 

Not even a woman like her could spend an extended period of time with him without his inherent goodness rubbing off on her.  She started to feel like a person around him.  With him she could be someone completely separate from Black Widow or Agent Romanov. She could simply be Natasha.  She could be silly with him.  But then as her feelings for him grew, she started trying to play the wingman.  She suggested just about every young woman at S.H.I.E.L.D. and beyond and he always came up with an excuse to not ask any of them out. 

Then one day, after the destruction of the Triskelion and her releasing all those files to the public, Steve showed up at her door and asked her out.  It was all uphill from there.

She loves him so much.  It amazes her how much she loves him. A part of her brain keeps telling her that it’s wrong and that it’s a weakness, but she doesn’t care.  In the darkness, she looks at her ring finger.  The glint of her wedding ring shines through the darkness.  No matter how many times she looks at it, it always brings a smile to her face.  She hates taking it off whenever she goes on mission.  Using her body as a weapon, being a sexual predator when it seems necessary has become a repulsive endeavor.  For a time, she didn’t care who touched her, just as she didn’t care who she killed. Now she wants to hack off the hands of any man who touches her who is not her Steve. 

In theory, her face is well-known, but for some Avengers missions, there still seems to be enough people who don’t know who she is.  Even if people do know who she is, her marital status is not public knowledge.  She can wear a provocative dress and seduce a man before cornering him someplace where she can extract information from him.  Nowadays, she just tends to get a bit nasty when a man touches anything other than her hands.

That’s not to say that she won’t let Steve defend her honor.  He’s normally very reserved about being a jealous husband for the sake of keeping their love a secret.  But there are incidents in when he set aside all reservations.

Just recently, he smashes a man’s hands with his shield when they were on mission with the Avengers. It was no espionage mission.  That man’s hands just happened to land on Natasha’s breasts during a fight.  Steve got very upset.  She was perfectly capable of deal with the man on her own, but she let Steve deal out his anger.  Even Hulk was dumbfounded.  Tony was brave enough to ask, jokingly, if any of them were even allowed to hug her. 

Natasha was the one who answered.  Of course they were and Steve knew that.  Steve also knows that none of them would ever disrespect her.  Not just for their sakes, but also because the Avengers, for better or for worse, have become a family.  It’s a family that Natasha is proud to consider herself a part of.  

With a groan, Natasha sits up.  Then immediately regrets it.  She suddenly feels quite dizzy, queasy even.  She senses the worst coming.  Leaping from the bed, she rushes to the bathroom and opens the toilet lid.  Not a second too soon as she retches and empties the contents of her stomach.  The force of which makes her eyes water.  She stays there for a minute, still leaning over the toilet.  Then she retches again, spilling a few more contents.  Finally, she sits back against the adjacent sink and waits.  Once she is sure that nothing else is coming up, she flushes the toilet.  It takes two flushes to rid all of her vomit, but still she thinks that the toilet bowl is going to need cleaned sooner than she had planned.

She just stays there, sitting on the floor for a few minutes.  Soon though, she hears movement outside the bathroom. 

“Nat?” asks Steve, still groggy from sleep. 

Natasha looks up at him from her position on the floor.  He’s still in only his pajama bottoms.  “Hey, baby,” she says with a weak smile.

Steve sinks to his knees and puts a hand against her forehead.  “No fever; you’re not coming down with something are you?”

She shakes her head.  “I never ‘come down with something’.  Steve, for as long as we’ve known each other, have you even seen me get a cold, much less throw up?”  

He stares at her for a moment or two, but then he smirks.  “No, of course not, baby.”  He sighs and pulls her against him.  She welcomes his embrace as she rests her head against his chest.  She doesn’t think that she has wiped her mouth, but she doesn’t say anything.  She’s too distracted by the warmth of her husband’s skin.

“I’ll tell you what, Steve,” she says eventually.  “I’ll go down to the infirmary and have Jarvis take a look at my body.  Just to be certain, okay?”  She cranes her neck just in time to meet his gaze. 

“I’ll go with you,” he offers.

“No, Steve,” she insists.  “You go back to sleep, keep the bed warm until I get back.”  She smirks.  “Don’t worry; I’ll be back before you get lonely.”

Steve gives a playful grumble, but concedes.  “Well, I’m still going to make you some chicken soup later.  And none of that Campbell’s stuff.”

“But I like Campbell’s chicken soup,” she whines. 

“And I got really tired of it really quick back in the thirties,” counters Steve.  “At that time, my mother and I were lucky to manage to get any food on the table at all.  But at least during the Depression, there was always a need for nurses and doctors, so my mother was never in any danger of losing her job.  Whenever I got sick, if she could help it, she would make me homemade chicken soup.  It was the one thing she cooked better than Mrs. Barnes did.”

She doesn’t always tell him as much as she thinks she should, but she loves the way his features light up whenever he talks about his mother.  His eyes get bluer; his characteristic frown lines melt away for the briefest of moments.  In those brief instances, he doesn’t look like a man weighed down by being Captain America, a war veteran, or a man out of time.  He starts to show the parts of him that she fell in love with. 

“Okay, well I won’t keep you,” says Steve.  He helps her to her feet, kisses her forehead and heads out.  He stops just a moment to say, “I would’ve kissed you on the lips, but your breath is horrible.”

Natasha scowls.  “Go back to bed, you twerp.”

“I’ve still your favorite twerp,” he says airily.

Years of honing the ability to hide her emotions under a veil of apathy and yet she can’t fight back a smile.  She leaves the bathroom, grabs her robe and slips into her slippers.  Then she heads towards the elevator leading out of their apartment suite.  It’s nice having an entire floor to call their own.  It seems a little much in Natasha’s opinion, but it’s nice. 

She tells the elevator to head to the infirmary.  Through the glass elevator, she doesn’t see any activity on any of the floors.  Then again, the residential floors are closed off by walls of concrete.  A much appreciated measure of privacy thanks to Tony Stark.

But on the other floors, Natasha doesn’t even see Tony.  Subtlety isn’t in Tony’s vocabulary; she would know if he was having an insomniac episode.  She remembers Pepper confiding in her about it a couple of years ago, around the same time when Tony was dealing with the so-called Mandarin.  In fairness, Tony was dealing with post-traumatic stress from the Battle of New York.

She reaches the infirmary and heads inside.  The Avengers don’t exactly have a permanent set of doctors.  In all honesty, Natasha thinks she should be visiting a clinic, not an infirmary.  But she doesn’t want any publicity.  Even if she is an Avenger, she sometimes wonders if the public fears her more than they do the Hulk.  Bruce’s brutish alter ego can cause a ton of damage, but Natasha has many years’ worth of violence on him.  She released all records of her history to the public last year.  Granted, much of it was encrypted, but people are capable of decryption. 

She tries to put all of that out of her mind.  She is here to see if something is wrong with her. 

“Jarvis are you up?” she asks.

“Always, Mrs. Rogers,” says Jarvis’ warm voice.  “What brings you to the infirmary this early in the morning?”

Natasha clears her throat.  Also, she has to swallow down the thrill of excitement at being called that.  It still feels as amazing—and strange—as it did when she heard it the first time.  “Jarvis, I need a body scan.”

“Are you ill?” he asks. 

“That’s what I’d like to find out,” she replies, somewhat irritably. 

“Very well, take a seat,” commands Jarvis.

Natasha does as she is told and sits down on hospital bed.  Then a holographic scanner activates above her. She stays perfectly still as her body is scanned from her head to her toes.  When the scanner deactivates, she asks, “So?”

“My diagnosis:  morning sickness,” replies Jarvis. 

Did she just get punched by a Hulk-sized fist?  She’s not sure she heard him right.  “That’s impossible,” she says, uncertainly. 

“It is not,” argues Jarvis.  “You are experiencing symptoms of early pregnancy.  You are experiencing morning sickness unusually early, but you are otherwise in perfect health.  I believe congratulations are in order.”

Natasha can feel her heart doing somersaults in her chest.  She can’t even manage to breathe evenly.  “But I can’t get pregnant,” she argues weakly.  “Has something happened to my immune system?”

“There’s nothing wrong with your immune system,” Jarvis informs her.  “It’s still off the charts.  Shall I go into a deeper explanation?”

“No thank you,” Natasha says quickly.  She and Steve had quite a torrid honeymoon back in January.  They have made love many times since then.  She’s definitely not five months pregnant.  “Are you able to determine a due date?” she asks.

“Certainly; your baby should be due by February 21^st of next year.” 

“And can you determine the sex this early?”

“Yes, you are carrying a son.”

A small laugh escapes Natasha’s lips as her eyes well up with tears.  She wants to pinch her arm, to see if this is just a really good dream.  Another part of her is reminding her that she is awake and this is happening.

“I’m going to be a…” she can barely form the word in her mouth.  “I’m going to a…a mother.”  She’s full on crying now.  This is too wonderful.  “Can you not tell anyone about this?  I’d rather people hear it from me.”

“Of course, madam,” replies Jarvis.

“Thank you.”  Natasha gets off the bed and just stands there for a minute, looking at her belly.  Come to think of it, her cat suit has felt a little tight lately.  She’s not far enough into her pregnancy for her to have a noticeable bump, but that will change.  She heads out of the infirmary and rides the elevator back up to her apartment. 

When she gets there, she’s quieter as she approaches the bedroom.  “Steve, I…” she begins as she enters the bedroom.  She stops midsentence as she sees that Steve is fast asleep.  She wants to wake him, but he looks so peaceful.  Instead, she heads to the bathroom and brushes her teeth.  Then she crawls back into bed with him.  Once she tucks herself in, she lies on her side, facing him.  She wants to sneak in a couple more hours of sleep, but all she can do is stare and smile at her husband. 

“I love you so much, Steve Rogers,” she says in her native Russian into the darkness. 

Chapter Text

A couple of days and Natasha is still stunned.  There’s a human growing inside her belly.  A human that Steve helped put there no less.  When she went back to bed after finding out about her pregnancy, she couldn’t sleep.  Her mind had flooded with so many thoughts.  Sleeping was out of the question. 

She thought about what her son would look like.  Would he be blond like his father or a redhead like her?  Would he be a strawberry blond—somewhere in between?  What color would his eyes be?  Blue like Steve’s or green like hers?  Would he be tall like his father or a little shorter?  Will he only be a couple of inches taller than her?  Would he be an artist or a dancer?  What would his unique, God-given characteristics and talents be?  She let her imagination run wild as she tried to project a mental image of what her son would look like.  Her heart fluttered as she thought of what it would be like when he spoke for the first time, walked for the first time, when he started school.  So many firsts, but not all of them put a smile on her face. 

A grimace found its way into her features as she thought of when her son might start showing interest in girls.  She can see herself doing a full background check on any girl that he would have a crush on.  Would she go so far as to intimidate his first date?  Would she put the fear of Black Widow into that poor young lady?  That thought actually startled a dark laugh out of her.

When she finally did manage to get to sleep, it felt like she was only asleep for a second before Steve roused her.  A new day and it was very boring.  Steve suspected that she was ill and insisted that she take the day to rest.  She was actually glad for it.  Also, it meant that she didn’t have to try and lie about why she wasn’t feeling so well.  She is a trained liar, yet Steve can always seem to tell when she’s lying.  How can he tell?  He has never bothered to tell her.  It’s probably a good thing because then she would know what to do to avoid his detection.

Sitting around the apartment quickly grew boring.  Even alternating between videogames and reruns of Friends grew boring after a while.  She needed someone to talk to.  

So she got out her phone and dialed the first name she could think of.  Sam Wilson picked up on the second ring.  It was good to hear a familiar voice.  They had not seen each other in weeks and normally together with Steve, if they aren’t chasing down leads on Bucky, they simply do something on the weekends.  The last time they hung out, they went to Six Flags. 

Natasha got straight to the point.  She told Sam that she was pregnant.  Sam was silent for several minutes.  For a minute, she even thought she had killed him.  That would have broken her heart.  Then he screamed “Congratulations” so loud into the phone, she had to hold it an arm’s length away from her ear. 

She quickly shut him up by telling him that Steve didn’t know and that she was scared out of her mind.  Sam isn’t a father himself, but she was happy to hear his words of encouragement.  He reminded her that he had never seen two people in love as much as them.  They would figure it out, but first she had to tell Steve about their child.  He also wasn’t hesitant to add that she shouldn’t wait too long otherwise she won’t have to tell him.  Then he said he wanted to be the godfather. 

“You don’t look anything like Al Pacino,” she teased. 

“Smartass,” he grumbled back.

“But since you were the first to ask, yes,” she added.  “You’re my future son’s godfather.  But keep that to yourself for a while.  And my pregnancy.  I want Steve to hear it from me.”

“You go girl,” Sam told her. 

After that, they exchanged their goodbyes with Sam promising to come to Tony’s party at the Avengers Tower in a couple of days. 

The rest of the day passed by more smoothly than Natasha expected.  When Steve finally came back at the end of the day, she assured him that she was feeling a lot better.  In more ways than one, that was perfectly true.  True enough to keep Steve from giving her a suspicious glance.

When they went to bed, it felt like neither of them were asleep for very long before they were roused by the news of a new mission. 

It was a new mission to Sokovia.  They managed to track down Baron von Strucker.  He was holed up in a Sokovian stronghold.  Based on files that Steve and Natasha managed to grab onto based on their history as former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, and with some help from Maria Hill, they had plenty of information on what he was up to. 

Strucker had a thing for human experimentation.  And with the help of Loki’s scepter, his experiments were all the more accessible.  Steve was very quiet about the news of human experimentation.  He himself is a human experiment.  However, that doesn’t speak for the darker aspects of human experimentation.  Natasha has found herself wondering if he ever stumbled upon a concentration camp when he was in the war.  She hasn’t brought herself to ask.  The war is a touchy subject for him; she tries to avoid that topic of conversation.

She was but a child when the Nazis invaded the Soviet Union.  The Red Room abandoned its normal location for a more secure location further east into Siberia.  There, until the Nazis were pushed out of the motherland, training was made much harsher as they had the coldness of Siberia as a tool.  But even in a place where the fighting was avoided, Soviet propaganda reached them.  News of atrocities committed by the Nazis were required viewing along with propaganda against the Americans and Western capitalism.

Natasha can remember days of watching movies like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves and The Wizard of Oz.  Both of which were included with subliminal messages meant to brainwash girls like her.

So without any time for more than a shower and a quick meal, the Avengers were boarding the Quinjet and flying to Sokovia.  If Steve knew that she was on edge, he said nothing.  The entire trip, she kept trying to figure out how to tell him that she was pregnant.  A few things made her hesitate.  One, she wasn’t sure if she wanted the others to hear.  No doubt they would have been ecstatic and more than happy for her, but it just didn’t seem like something to share with everyone at the moment.  Plus, she worried that if she did reveal her pregnancy, Steve would want to keep her out of the fight.  Worse still, Clint, being a father of soon-to-be three children himself, would likely back him up. 

In retrospect, maybe she should have stayed out of the fight.  The entire time that they were trying to take the Hydra base, she was constantly afraid of getting a blow to her belly.  Thankfully, it never happened.  She got roughed up a bit, but her belly was okay.  She managed to discreetly have her belly checked.  Her baby was unharmed.  She wishes she could say the same for Clint.  A chunk was taken out of his ribcage. 

Laura wasn’t going to be happy about that.  And Natasha feared that she and Steve, more so than the other guys, would be getting quite an earful from her because of it. 

And Steve called Tony out for “language.”  That wasn’t going away anytime soon.  Even she can’t help finding an opportunity to tease him for it.  He has said some pretty strong words.  Especially when she has taken him in her mouth or when he was inside her.

The thing that she is probably most proud of is that Bruce seems to be getting his Hulk persona under control.  They are always hesitant to involve him, calling it a “code green.” He’s still afraid of what he will do as the Hulk, but lucky for him he has five core people who are constantly supportive of him.  Plus, he listens to opera.  Sometimes, all they have to do is play opera when they are near the Hulk.  Thor appeals to his math skills by counting down from one hundred by sevens.  Each of them has their own methods of helping the Hulk calm down.

Natasha has long since stopped being afraid of the Hulk. She is still careful around him, but she can tell that there’s a level of trust between them.  Her method of calming down the Hulk, besides playing opera for him is showing him a picture of Betty Ross.  That’s probably one of the things that Bruce and the Hulk have in common—their equal love for Betty Ross. 

Tony had planned a party for everyone Saturday night when they returned to the Avengers Tower.  Natasha secretly invited Betty.  She knew that she and Bruce would only be too happy to see each other. The mutual problem they face in their relationship is Betty’s father, Thaddeus Ross.  That man has always distrusted Bruce and has tried to have him killed on several occasions.  He has also been an outspoken opponent of Bruce being a member of the Avengers, and the Avengers in general. 

All of that has placed the man in very low esteem in Natasha’s eyes.  Plus with his political aspirations, Natasha worries about what his plans are.  Life experience has taught her to keep governments and politicians at arm’s length. 

On the way home, Natasha still couldn’t find a way to tell Steve she was pregnant.  After giving Bruce some comforting words over being the Hulk, she seized her opportunity.  She walked up to Steve to talk, but he was already kissing her, making everyone groan at his public display of affection, before she could get a word out.  When they broke apart, he told her,

“That was damn good fighting today.”

“You kiss your wife with that mouth?” Tony asked him.

“I’m so disappointed,” she said before she could stop herself.    

She couldn’t help laughing with everyone, even if Steve was only scowling.  She wasn’t even too worried when Clint hurt himself with his laughs.  So caught up was she in the ensuing joking around with her friends—her brothers—that she forgot all about telling Steve she was pregnant.  She didn’t even realize she forgot until they landed on the Tower.

She enjoyed a nice long shower with Steve.  It wasn’t the most erotic shower they had shared.  Both of them were too tired to make love, but she can never say no to Steve’s hands on her, tenderly rubbing soap all over her body.  He even manages to wash her hair without tugging too hard on the tangles.  She in turn washed him.  She has to stand on her toes to reach his hair.  Sometimes, he kneels before her when she needs to work some shampoo and condition into that golden fluff of hair on his head.  This was one of those times.  And sometimes, even if they don’t have sex in the shower, they can’t help wasting all the hot water just standing in each other’s arms under the spray of the shower.

When they finally got out, they shared a bowl of popcorn over a movie.

Over the next couple of days leading up to Saturday night, Natasha forgot all about telling Steve she was pregnant. It wasn’t until it was time to get ready for the party that she realized she had not told him yet.

She missed her opportunity yet again when Steve told her that they would see each other at the party.  Natasha takes her wedding bands off during missions as a necessity, but not wearing them in the Tower, in their home?  She feels naked.  Still, they want to keep their marriage as secret as possible.  The most recent person to discover their marriage is their colleague, Helen Cho, who agreed to keep it under wraps, even from her own staff.

Beyond the Avengers, only Maria Hill, Helen Cho, Sam Wilson, James Rhodes, and Clint’s family know that she’s a married woman.  Maria Hill has assured that Nick Fury is completely unaware of Natasha’s marriage, but her word doesn’t mean terribly much.  Plus, no one would be surprised if Fury knew without the help of Maria Hill.  Even when he’s not the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., it seems he has ears and eyes everywhere.

Steve has tried to use that to his advantage on his desperate search for Bucky, but Fury has remained adamant on his goal to remain nonexistent.  Natasha wishes she could do more to console her husband whenever a lead on his oldest friend turns up empty.  She and Sam have agreed that times like those, it’s best to just give him space.

Natasha didn’t want to reveal herself a married woman to the Avengers’ guests, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to go out of her way to impress her husband.  She ended up wearing a black and white A-line cocktail dress with short sleeves and a low neckline.  The whiteness only covers her shoulders with the rest of the dress being black.  It kind of shrouds her cleavage somewhat, but at the same time it makes it all the more exciting.  Naughtily, she can’t help hoping that Steve will have trouble keeping his eyes off of her chest.  If she had a long enough necklace, maybe she would hide her wedding bands in her cleavage, but she doesn’t much to her annoyance.  Also, she put a little bit of curl into her hair, hoping to pull off some sort of 1940s-ish look without being too obvious about it. 

She even thought of putting on some stockings, but decided to forgo the idea. 

When she walked into the party on Tony’s arm, Steve was already there.  He was talking to some war veterans.  She didn’t know whether to feel bad or happy since all of those veterans were old men.  She didn’t get a good look at all of their veteran ball caps, but she assumed all of them were either World War Two or Korean War veterans.  All of them looked too old to be Vietnam veterans. 

“Are you and the Cap going to disappear from the party early?” asked Tony when Steve caught Natasha’s eye. 

Natasha took a moment to think over her answer.  She couldn’t help the wild thrill that went through her body at the way Steve looked at her.  They trained themselves to be reserved about how they ogled each other in public so as not to be too obvious about it.  Someone who didn’t know Steve very well wouldn’t have caught the slight twitch of his lips or the way his eyes seemed to twinkle at the sight of her.  Likewise, someone might not notice how Natasha’s own lips seemed to curl in a similar smile. 

Eventually, she looked back up at Tony.  “No promises, Stark,” she replies with a wink. 

Tony groaned and walked off.  “Get a room, Romanov.”  Natasha is trained to turn her emotions off like the click of a button, but the Avengers have all but bypassed that training.  She can’t help laughing as Tony stalks off, grumbling. 

She turns back to Steve and sees he has moved on from the veterans.  Now he’s with their friend, Sam Wilson.  They are playing pool.  She catches them just as Sam sends one of the billiard balls into the hole.  Steve groans dramatically.  Clint is the one who boasts that he “never misses” and nor does he in Natasha’s memory, but Sam is very good at the billiard table.  Based on what she sees and the fact that Steve hasn’t mentioned anything yet, she is sure that the details of what’s growing inside her belly have remained under wraps.        

She could use a drink.  She heads over to the bar and tells the bartender to take a break.  When it comes to mixing martinis, she prefers to do it herself.  She is about halfway through mixing a vodka martini when she realizes something.  What is she doing?  She’s pregnant; she shouldn’t be drinking.  She sighs heavily.  At least she knows that Tony keeps Coke products back here.  She can just grab herself a bottle of Diet Coke and squeeze a couple slices of lemon into it. 

“How does a nice girl like you wind up working in a dump like this?”

She looks up from her martini mix and welcomes the sight of Bruce.  She almost smirks at his attempt to flirt with her.  Steve’s wife or not, all the guys still flirt with her once in a while in public events like this.  It helps keep the illusion that she’s no one’s woman.  It wasn’t her idea—she loves being Steve’s woman—but it’s necessary. 

So she decides to flirt back.  “I don’t know, fella done me wrong.”   

“Got a lousy taste in men, kid,” Bruce teases.

Natasha raises an eyebrow.  If she thought he actually believed that, she would have cut the conversation short right then and there.  She rolls her eyes and smiles.  “Aw, he’s not so bad,” she assures.  “He has a temper.  But deep down, he’s all fluff.” However that fluff finds its way to the surface more often than not.  “He’s a bit of an old soul, a man way out of time to be honest.”  That comment is seldom said between the Avengers.  They all know how sensitive Steve is about having spent seventy years under the ice.  “Call me a selfish woman, but I’m glad he’s out of time.  Now he’s all mine.  He’s not like anyone I’ve ever known.  All my friends are fighters and here comes this guy who spends his life avoiding the fight because he’s knows he’ll win.”

Bruce smiles the entire time she describes her husband.  “Wow, he’s sounds amazing.”

“He’s also a huge dork,” she adds cheekily.

Bruce scoffs.  “Well, all due respect, you’ve surrounded yourself with a group of huge dorks.”  He cranes his neck and she follows his gaze just in time to overhear Tony and Thor comparing their respective girlfriends.  Poor Maria Hill is in the middle pointing out the overabundance of testosterone between the two. 

“Touché, Bruce,” Natasha finally says. 

They return their gazes to each other.  They are silent for a minute, but then Bruce gives her a sideways glance.  “If he’s so great, what did he do to you that was so wrong?”

“Not a damn thing,” Natasha assures as she grabs herself a Diet Coke from the refrigerator under the bar. She pours it into a wineglass and squeezes some lemon slices into it.  “Although because of him, I’m now eating for two.  And I can’t enjoy this vodka martini.”

Bruce’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull.  “Wait are you…?” he stops midsentence at Natasha’s warning glare.  He leans in.  “Are you pregnant?” he whispers. 

Admitting it to herself is one thing, but admitting it to a friend is something else entirely.  She has to avert her gaze a little bit and take a few deep breaths.  All her life she has honed the skill of concealing her emotions.  Now she has a human growing inside her belly and it’s so much more difficult.  Her body language makes the answer as clear as day, she is certain. 

“Oh, my God!” exclaims Bruce in a hushed shout.  “That’s wonderful!”

“It is,” Natasha agrees, not meeting her friend’s gaze. 

“Does Steve know yet?”

“No,” Natasha grumbles.  “And if you don’t mind, I’d like him to hear it from me.”

“Oh, of course,” says Bruce.  “Are you going to tell him tonight?”

Finally Natasha looks up.  She meets her friend’s gaze for a moment, but then someone else catches her eye.  Wearing a black figure-hugging dress with a flat neckline and capped sleeves is none other than Betty Ross.  “I might, but it looks like you have a guest.”

Bruce follows her gaze and she can’t fight back her smile as he loses his composure just a little bit.  He and Betty have a tough relationship, exacerbated by her father’s violent history with Bruce.  It’s been a long time since Thaddeus Ross has tried to have Bruce killed, but sometimes Natasha thinks he’s just biding his time.  But the Avengers will be there to defend their friend. 

“Why don’t you go and show Betty a good time,” Natasha encourages, offering Bruce the vodka martinis she made. 

Bruce beams at her as he takes the drinks and walks off to join Betty. 

Suddenly Natasha realizes that she needs to sit down.  So she takes her Diet Coke and leaves the bar.  She heads up the stairs to the second level.  There are considerably less people up here.  It’s a more private setting.  She finds a couch and plops down on it with a sigh. 

“I’m guessing that the only girl in the Avengers isn’t in the party mood.”

She cranes her neck and welcomes the sight of Sam Wilson.  “Sam,” she says brightly.  After so many days of full-time Avengers, it’s nice to see someone who isn’t an Avenger.  He could be an Avenger, but his loyalty is more to Natasha and Steve.  Plus, he has said on more than one occasion that he isn’t sure how he would feel about the world knowing his name. 

“Can I join you?” he asks. 

Natasha gives him a funny look and pats the space next to her.  Sam joins her and she twists around to face her friend.  “So who won that pool game?”

“Aw, Steve will have better luck next time,” Sam boasts, not even trying to hide his smugness. 

Natasha rolls her eyes.  “You can be a real savage, anyone ever tell you that?”

“My wingman, Riley, used to,” replies Sam wistfully.

Natasha is careful choosing her next words.  As far as she can tell, Riley was to Sam as Bucky is to Steve.  They looked out for each other, but eventually it was the other whose number came up first.  “Go ahead, ask me.”

“You haven’t told Steve yet, have you?” asks Sam. 

Natasha downs the rest of her Diet Coke.  “Nope,” she admits with a groan.  “But I did just tell Bruce.”

“How’d that feel?”

“Surprisingly wonderful,” Natasha admits.  She looks her friend in the eye.  “How am I supposed to do this?” she asks.  “I’m an Avenger; my life is on the spotlight no matter how hard I try.  And I put all of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s files on the internet last year.  Give or take a good hacker or cryptologist, and that many more people know about that part of my life too.”  She’s not this vulnerable with just anybody.  Not even with all of her colleagues within the Avengers.  Sam, much like her husband, has become someone she feels safe around. 

He has earned the privilege of seeing the worried woman behind the façade of the Black Widow, or even Natasha Romanov.  He gets to see Nat Rogers.  She still has thoughts about one day introducing herself as Natalia Rogers. She loves the way it rolls off her tongue.

She catches Sam’s gaze and it’s a bit lower than her eyes.  She knows him well enough that he’s not staring at her cleavage.  “I’m not going to be able to get you to not look at my belly, am I?”

“Not for at least nine months,” confesses Sam.  “And I don’t think you will either.”

“I’m still wrapping my head around the idea of me having a baby bump,” says Natasha.

“Well, that does sometimes happen to women,” Sam reminds her with a smirk.

She raises an eyebrow at him.  That gesture has made some people wet themselves.  It only deepens his smirk.  He checks his watch.

“Well, I should be heading out,” he says.

Natasha frowns.  “You sure I can’t convince you to stay for the afterparty?  Maria Hill will be there,” she adds with a tempting smile.  She has caught Sam and Hill flirting with each other on a few occasions.  She would like to see Maria Hill have a man in her life who isn’t Nick Fury.  Natasha would argue that Hill even needs more reminding than she does that she’s still a woman.  It’s perfectly okay for her to have a relationship. 

Sam smiles as he rises to his feet.  “Being friends with two Avengers is plenty for me,” he says.  He offers his hand and Natasha takes it, allowing him to help her to her feet. 

“So, cookout night next weekend?” asks Natasha.

“Unless one of us breaks something,” says Sam.  “But I guess this time we’ll have to leave out the beers.  What’s the point of drinking if one of my guests can’t drink?  And don’t tell me that you’re planning on introducing that baby to vodka already.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow.  “I’m Russian, not stupid.”  But they both laugh.  Then they exchange their goodbyes. 

“Let me know how Steve reacts to the news,” says Sam.

“You know I will,” promises Natasha with a wink. 

Sam laughs and gives her one last hug.  Then she walks him to the elevator.  As it so happens, a number of people are starting to leave.  As they reach the elevator, Sam turns around and he leans in to whisper in her ear.  “You got this, Black Widow,” he whispers.  Then he steps backward into elevator as it closes.  Natasha stands there for a few minutes, just staring at the closed elevator. 

Her momentary blankness is brought to an abrupt end as she lets out a squeal.  She whips around, ready to strike when her eyes land on her husband. 

“I’ve been waiting all night to do that,” Steve quips with a smirk.

Natasha slaps him across the face.  That only makes him laugh.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he admonishes, wagging his finger in front of her face.  “Now that wasn’t very nice.”

Natasha rolls her eyes and grabs him by the shirt collar, dragging his face down to meet her lips.  Her kiss is fierce and more than a little possessive.  When their lips break away, she puts her lips by his ear.  She makes sure her breath is plenty hot in his ear.  “If you’re going grab my ass, try to give me a little more warning.  I’d hate to hurt you.”  She bites down on his ear playfully before releasing it with a sucking kiss. 

Steve gulps.  “We wouldn’t want that,” he says hoarsely.

Their moment is interrupted by a dramatic groan.  “Didn’t I tell you to get a room, Romanov?”

Natasha pulls away from her husband just enough to look at Tony.  “Maybe you should add ‘prude’ to your self-description of ‘billionaire, playboy, philanthropist,” she teases.  She plants one last kiss on her husband’s lips for emphasis.  Then she spanks him playfully before going over to a couch and plopping down on it.  Steve joins her and she twists around, taking off her shoes and resting her legs in his lap.   

“So, now that it’s just us Avengers and company, who’s going to order the Chinese?”

Chapter Text

Natasha sometimes forgets to appreciate how much her fellow Avengers loosen up once it’s just them.  When the have visitors, sure they have a certain sense of formality, especially when they have more official visitors.  She would argue there is a certain amount of apprehension when they get visitors from government officials.  They have gotten a few visits from General Ross.

When he would visit, it was usually to chew them out hindering military operations or threatening national security.  To Natasha, it always sounded like he was just embarrassed that the Avengers were doing things more effectively than the U.S. Army or even the C.I.A.  The Avengers are careful not to clash with the government, keeping away from military and covert operations.  As much as the C.I.A. would like to think differently, Hydra was never their turf.  As a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent herself, she remembers how the agency was at odds, or was in competition, with the C.I.A.  She can remember a couple of occasions where she saw Nick Fury having arguments with the head of the C.I.A. 

But when it’s just the Avengers with no mission, and no training, for a little while they aren’t even Avengers.  They are just a motley crew of friends having fun together.  In fact, they decided on who would order the Chinese by doing “nose goes”.  Tony was the one who suggested the idea and it caught everyone off-guard.  But everyone touched their nose.  They had to have Jarvis play a recap in slow motion to see who touched their nose last.  It ended up being Rhodey.

It was hard not to laugh at his grumbling as he made the call for their food.  Tony didn’t even try to contain his laughter.  Of course, they all looked at an online menu and then wrote a list of the things they wanted.  There was a large quantity of eggrolls in the order that Tony requested.  It was to share, but getting enough eggrolls for everyone to have at least three seemed a bit excessive.  Rhodey tried hard to sound cheerful as he went through the list of items when he called the Chinese takeout place. He almost succeeded if he hadn’t been scowling at everyone. 

Natasha had to hide her face in Steve’s chest to hide her smile.  But she was shaking with laughter. 

When Rhodey finally got off the phone after having to clarify a few of their orders to make sure it didn’t get messed up, Natasha supposed they were lucky he wasn’t in his War Machine suit.  He said they owed him.  Maria Hill suggested that they all pool in on the tip when their food was delivered.  No one complained about that.  Well, everyone except Thor, who didn’t have any “Earthly currency”.

It wasn’t terribly long before their food arrived.  When it did, the delivery man was dumbstruck to be surrounded by the Avengers.  Well, more of a boy really.  He didn’t look older than eighteen.  Natasha felt somewhat offended that he was ogling Maria Hill more than her.  On the bright side, Steve didn’t have to restrain himself. 

The delivery boy asked if he could get a selfie with the Avengers.  He took a selfie with each of the Avengers in turn.  Tony was probably the most enthusiastic about it, in that deadpan way of his.  Steve was the shyest about it.  Natasha was careful to hide her wedding bands before the delivery boy came up.  She allowed him to think that she was just a pretty face working with the Avengers.  She wordlessly smiled into the camera as he took the picture.  Then he wanted a picture with all of the Avengers.  They gave the phone to Rhodey while they posed around the delivery boy. 

Natasha thinks that if the kid had stayed any longer, they would have had to shove him out the door.  They would still have tipped him, but the Avengers have enough on their plate without people treating them like famous movie stars. 

As soon as the delivery boy was gone, that was when the party really started.  The Avengers had stories to share.  As melancholy and down on himself as Bruce can be, he is capable of having fun.  Natasha knows how polite he can be.  She witnessed it the day she met him when she was sent to recruit him.  She does feel guilty for not being very honest with him and she has since learned to not be afraid of him.

She has grown to consider him a friend as with the rest of the Avengers.  Betty wasn’t able to stay for the after party, but as far as anyone could tell, she and Bruce had a splendid time together.  Thor was quick to point out that he smelled like lady’s perfume.  It took some playful prodding, but they got him to reveal that he and Betty “might have stepped away for a few minutes” as he put it.  He heals pretty fast, but there was a hickey under his collar.

Everyone cheered for him even as his face turned as red as a firetruck.  For a man so afraid of physical intimacy because of the fact that he’s the Hulk, it was nice to see that he was willing to share an intimate moment with Betty.  However, they didn’t make him reveal just how far they went.  That was mostly because of Steve, sticking up for Bruce’s last shred of privacy.

As the Avengers ate their food, one of the questions that came up was what Steve’s plans were for living space.  It’s a question directed at Natasha as well, and quite frankly, neither of them know what they want to do.  Steve is deeply rooted to the city, especially Brooklyn, even if they don’t have a place there.  Natasha, on the other hand, simply isn’t sure if they can live a peaceful life as a married couple and live in the city at the same time.

She has had some ideas for a country home, or some backwoods paradise.  She grew up in Russia where isolation wasn’t hard to find.  Part of her training involved having to survive in wastelands deep in the heart of Russia.  America has its own share of wastelands, but there plenty of beautiful patches of nowhere to make into a home that don’t you beyond a day’s drive to civilization.

Somehow, someway the conversation steered towards Thor’s hammer.  After all, the hammer was just sitting there on the coffee table.  Natasha is trying to have a conversation with Bruce, but she finds herself getting increasingly distracted by Clint’s conversation with Thor.  They are arguing about the ability to lift the hammer.

“But it’s a trick,” Clint says, twirling a chopstick in his hand. 

“No, no, it’s much more than that,” argues Thor as he hands Steve a beer. 

“Ah, whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power,” teases Clint in a dramatic voice.  “Whatever, man!  It’s a trick.”

Thor laughs.  Then he gestures to his hammer.  “Ah, please be my guest.”

All other conversations stop and everyone’s eyes turn on Clint.  Clint has never been one to say no to a challenge.  Natasha can think of a few occasions where that led to some embarrassing, and sometimes harmful, consequences. 

“Really?” he asks.

“Yeah, give it a try, Barton,” encourages Tony, who is now leaning forward with a mischievous grin.

Clint rolls his eyes and rises to his feet. 

“Oh this is going to be beautiful,” laughs Rhodey.

“Clint you’ve had a tough week,” says Tony, almost sounding sympathetic.  He has had a tough week.  Natasha is thankful that he is back on his feet again.  “We won’t hold it against you if you can’t get it up,” continues Tony. 

Natasha can’t help laughing with everyone as Clint saunters over to the hammer.  He also might be a little tipsy.  “You know I’ve seen this before right?” he asks.  Thor smirks up at him.  Natasha suspects there’s an inside joke between them there, but she’s not sure was it is.  She wonders if it has anything to do with Clint’s first encounter with Thor.  Her thoughts are interrupted as she watches Clint strain as he attempts to lift the hammer. 

It doesn’t budge. 

He laughs, probably in spite of himself.  “I still don’t know how you do it.”

“You smell the silent judgment?” teases Tony. 

Clint scoffs.  “Please, Stark, by all means.”  He gestures to the hammer.

Tony rolls his eyes and rises to his feet.  Everyone is cheering again, some of which sound more like challenging gestures.  “Never one to shrink from an honest challenge,” he boasts.  He rolls up his sleeves.  “It’s physics.”

Bruce scoffs.  “Physics,” he repeats. 

“Right, so, if I lift it, I then rule Asgard?” asks Tony.

“Yes of course,” replies Thor, not a shred of concern laced in his voice. 

“I will be reinstituting prima nocta,” says Tony as he attempts to life the hammer.  Again the object doesn’t budge.  “I’ll be right back.”  He lets go of the hammer and disappears for a moment.  A couple of minutes later, he reappears with a gauntlet from his armor on his hand.

“You really think that’s going to make difference?” asks Natasha. 

“Watch and learn, Mrs. Rogers,” says Tony confidently, which he might be feigning.  He grabs the hammer again with the Iron Man gauntlet and still, nothing happens.  Even a few thrusters go off in the forearm of the gauntlet and nothing happens.  “Rhodey, I could use a little help.”

Rhodey rolls his eyes, but gets up anyway.  Then he too disappears and comes back with his War Machine gauntlet.  Then he and Tony try to lift the hammer together.  Natasha would like to point out that it probably doesn’t work that way, but she is having too much fun watching them struggle.  Eventually, the both give up with Tony muttering about some “piece of crap armor.”

“What about you, Bruce?” asks Tony.  “Why don’t you give it a try?”

Bruce looks up from his bottle of beer.  He looks at everybody.  Finally, he lets out a scoff and gets up.  He grabs the hammer and again nothing happens.  He actually puts his feet on the coffee table and yelled dramatically as he tried to lift the hammer.

That yell makes everyone fall silence.  It even sends a little chill down Natasha’s spine.  It doesn’t take long for Bruce to register the awkward atmosphere he has just created.  He steps down from the table and goes back to sit down, doing his best to hide his face.  Natasha pats his shoulder affectionately.  He lightens up instantly.

“How about you, Cap?” asks Tony. 

Natasha sits up straighter.  This is should be interesting.

Steve chuckles and rises from his chair.  He grabs the hammer and pulls.  Maybe everyone else missed it, but Natasha sees the hammer move just a little bit.  She can barely hide how impressed she is.  Steve can lift the hammer!  Thor must see it too, considering how his smile falters and his eyes narrow. 

But Steve doesn’t lift it.  He lets go with a sigh and the relief in Thor’s following laughter is as clear as day.  Well, to Natasha at least. 

“Nothing,” he says. 

Now Bruce gestures to Natasha.  “And, Widow?” he invites. 

She scoffs.  “Oh, no, no,” she brushes off.  “That’s not a question I need answered.”  She leans back and takes a sip of Diet Coke.

“Oh, come on, Rogers,” encourages Tony.  “Humor us.”

She raises an eyebrow at him.  She would like to call him out and say that calling her by her married name is a cheap move, but she loves the sound of it too much.  She rolls her eyes and sets her drink down, rising to her feet.  She doubts she is worthy, but she does wonder if the child growing in her belly is worthy.

She walks over to the hammer much to the excitement of everyone else.  She stands over it and regards it thoughtfully.  She looks up at everyone.  Steve winks at her; Tony, Rhodey and Clint all give her encouraging words; Maria Hill and Helen Cho just shrug.  They are probably just growing increasingly tired of the testosterone.  With a sigh she grabs the hammer and lifts. 

To her eternal shock, the hammer comes up with her hand.  The room has fallen dead silent as she holds the hammer.  She gives it a flip, testing it every which way.  For a visible cumbersome hammer, it’s actually nicely balanced.  There’s some weight to it, but no more than that of a hammer from your average toolbox.

“Meh, it’s not really my style,” she says eventually.  She tosses the hammer at Thor.  Thor must have been completely unprepared or she was rougher than she intended to be.  The hammer lands on his crotch and actually sends him and the couch back about ten feet.  Natasha covers her mouth in horror.  “Oh, Thor, I’m so sorry!”

“I’m fine,” says Thor, his voice sounding an octave higher than normal.  He lifts his hammer off of his lap.  He chuckles.  “Alas, Lady Natasha is worthy!” he announces.  “I guess that’s more than I can say for the rest of you.”

“Badass,” marvels Steve. 

“Steve, you said a bad language word,” Maria calls out. 

Steve laughs.  “Did you tell everybody about that?” he asks.

“I plead the fifth,” laughs Tony. 

Everyone’s laughter is cut off by a high-pitched ringing.  The sound is followed by some clunky footsteps.  “Worthy,” drones a male, though somewhat mechanical voice.  Then everyone sees the source of the voice.  It looks like one of Tony’s Iron Legion suits, but it’s a mess.  It looks like it barely even knows how to walk.  

“How could you be worth?” asks the robot.  “You’re all killers.”

Natasha is growing increasingly alarmed, but it’s Steve who speaks first.

“Stark,” he says. 

Tony gets the message.  “Jarvis.”  There’s no answer. 

“I’m sorry I was asleep,” continues the robot.  “Or I was a-dream.”

Tony tries to get Jarvis to do something, but there is still no answer.

Somehow, the wobbling robot moved on to talking about being tangled in strings.  It’s giving Natasha the impression of a Pinocchio complex.  Then he says he had to kill someone. 

“You killed someone?” demands Steve, in that authoritarian voice that Natasha has grown so accustomed to. 

“It wouldn’t have been my first call,” confesses the robot.  “But, down in the real world, we’re faced with ugly choices.”

“Who sent you?” asks Thor, who has since gotten back on his feet.

The robot’s reply is nothing Natasha would have expected.  It’s a recording of Tony’s voice.  “I see a suit of armor around the world.”

“Ultron,” says Bruce.  Natasha wonders if he is talking about that pet project for artificial intelligence that Tony has rambled about in the past.

“In the flesh,” confirms the robot named Ultron.  “Or no, not yet.  Not this…chrysalis.”

Natasha doesn’t have access to a gun at the moment, but she does see Thor’s grip around his hammer tighten.  Maria discreetly pulls out a gun and disengages the safety.

“I’m on mission,” says Ultron. 

“What mission?” Natasha demands, who is now ready for an attack. 

“Peace of our time,” replies Ultron.  Then the walls behind him burst as some Iron Legion robots fly through. 

Everyone is caught unaware and is thrown backward in every which way.  Natasha isn’t wearing any shoes and her feet land in some broken glass and she grabs Bruce and dives behind the bar.  She ignores the burst of pain in the soles of her feet.  As she grabs Bruce, he falls and lands on top of her.  She doesn’t have time to register how violated she feels at the fact that his face lands in her cleavage.  She looks down at him just as he lifts his head.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, his face turning redder than her hair. 

“It’s okay, just please get off me,” she says quickly.  Given the situation, she would admit that she doesn’t feel as violated as she could have. 

He rolls off of her.  “Is this a code green?” he asks. 

“No, don’t turn green,” answers Natasha.  She rises to a crouching position and grabs the gun hidden beneath the bar.  She peeks above the bar and sees Legionaire suits flying everywhere.  She aims at the closest one and fires.  Her bullets are relatively ineffective against the robots.  Lucky for her, she knows where the weakest points are on those robots.  She knows to aim for the joints as well as the neck.

The room has erupted into chaos as everyone finds themselves battling one of the robots.  She sees Steve jump onto the back of one as it nears the bar and he punches it bare-knuckled.  The robot thrusts backward and lands into the wall, hard enough for it to cave in.  It then turns around and grabs a disoriented Steve and throws him to the ground. 

Natasha’s nostrils flare with anger.  She reaches back and grabs Bruce.  They need to get out from behind the bar.  “Come on!” she barks.  They get up and he follows after her as she runs towards the nearest stairs.  A robot shoots are her as she and Bruce make their way up the steps.  When they reach the top of the stairs, Bruce dives for cover behind a couch.  They still need to figure out how he can be effective without involving the Hulk all the time.  She returns fire, actually hitting her target even though most of them ricochet off of it.  Her gun is not working. 

“Thor!” Natasha shouts.

Thor turns his gaze towards her and she holds out a hand.  He gets the message and tosses his hammer.  She jumps from the balcony and catches the hammer in mid-air before bringing it down hard on the robot. The robot bursts apart.  At about the same time, Steve bisects another robot with his shield and Tony disables another with a rod.

Natasha rises to her feet, panting.  She still has a firm grip on Thor’s hammer.  She tosses it back to him.  He catches it without looking. 

“That was dramatic,” says Ultron.  He trudges over to a fallen robot.  “I’m sorry, I know you mean well,” he continues it what Natasha guesses is supposed to sound understanding, if not a bit condescending.  “You just didn’t think it through.  You want to protect the world, but you don’t want it to change.”

Natasha doesn’t know what to make of that.  She meets Bruce’s gaze as he comes out from behind the couch. 

“How is humanity saved if it’s not allowed to evolve?” Ultron is starting to sound annoying philosophical and preachy.  He picks up a fallen robot by its head.  “With these…these puppets?” he squeezes the head until it shatters in his hand.  “There’s only one path to peace.  The Avengers’ extinction.” 

Having heard enough most likely, Thor throws his hammer at the robot named Ultron and it bursts.  Natasha is worried that they won’t be hearing the end of Ultron. 

***

“All our work is gone,” moans Bruce, going through his computer.  After that fiasco an hour earlier, everyone was still patching themselves up. Natasha sat as still as a statue as Steve took a pair of tweezers and pried all the glass out of her feet.  Natasha has significant pain tolerance, but it has been a while since she actually injured her feet.  Steve treats her feet with utter care, caressing her feet with one hand as he takes shards of glass out of her feet with the other.  She calls him out once or twice on how gentle he is, asking him if he is treating her feet like an Operation board game, but she appreciates it. 

He didn’t even know what Operation was.  Of all the board games that she introduced him to and she didn’t introduce him to Operation.  She’s going to have to buy them an Operation board game at some point. 

She sees him wince several times.  Not because he is afraid he hurt her, but because he took a hard blow along with everyone else.  What she really wants to do is get that shirt off of him and massage his back.  Even if she doesn’t take his shirt off, she could still massage his back.  He has no reservations about her back massages, but she wasn’t in the mood to deal with Tony loudly complaining about their public displays of affection.

Maria Hill didn’t have anyone to take care of her feet.  Rhodey was thrown off the balcony and now he has a large icepack pressed to his shoulder.  Everyone else was relatively unscathed. 

Bruce and Tony immediately got busy with their computers.  They were trying to figure out what exactly went wrong with their pet project.  Natasha would really like to know why they didn’t feel compelled to share their pet project with the rest of the class earlier.  When Steve finishes with her feet and bandages them, he helps her to her feet and she joins Bruce with going through the computers.

Tony is relatively quiet through the whole ordeal while Bruce quietly mumbles as he goes through their databanks.

“All our work is gone,” he moans.  “Ultron cleared out.  He used the internet as an escape hatch.”

Natasha sets her computer down and sighs.  “He’s been in everything,” she says.  Ultron has left a distinctive trail regarding everything he had been in.  “Files, surveillance,” she lists off, then a scary thought hits her.  “He probably knows more about us than we know about each other.”  As soon as she says it, it dawns on her that Ultron might be aware of her pregnancy.  What if he plans to use that knowledge as a weapon?

Then Rhodey gets up.  “He’s in your files, he’s in the internet,” he repeats matter-of-factly.  “What if he decides to access something a little more exciting?”

“Nuclear codes,” Maria Hill says immediately, who is still taking care of the glass in her feet.   

“Nuclear codes,” confirms Rhodey.  “Look, we need to make some calls, assuming we still can.”  Yes, what if they can’t even make a safe call to someone?  What if Clint can’t even contact Laura without Ultron knowing?  But Natasha stops Rhodey before he gets too excited.

“Nukes?” she repeats.  “He said he wanted us dead.”

“He didn’t say ‘dead’,” Steve corrects her.  “He said ‘extinct’.”

“He also said he killed somebody,” adds Clint.

“There wasn’t anyone else in the building,” Maria says.

“Yes, there was,” Tony corrects her bitterly.  He grabs a device and the holograph of Jarvis pops up.  At least, it should have been Jarvis.  The sphere was a mess.  Natasha sighs heavily.  Bruce approaches the holograph like someone who had just seen a friend die.  In many ways, Jarvis was a friend of sorts.

“This is insane,” says Bruce.

“Jarvis was the first line of defense,” says Steve, sighing.  “He would have shut Ultron down.  It makes sense.”

“No,” argues Bruce.  “Ultron could have assimilated Jarvis.  This isn’t strategy.  This is rage.”

Before anyone can add anything to that, Thor barges into the room, in his full gear and hammer.  He goes after Tony and then grabs him by the neck in a chokehold.

Everyone leaps to attention.

“It’s going around,” says Clint, referring to that rage.

“Come on, use your words, buddy,” rasps Tony as Thor lifts him off his feet. 

“I have more than enough words to describe you, Stark,” Thor growls.

“Thor!” commands Steve.  He’s probably the one person that Thor listens to more than anyone.  “The Legionairre.” That’s right, Thor chased after the robots who survived the fight.

With a grumble, Thor releases Tony, setting him back down on his feet.  “Trail went cold about a hundred miles out, but it’s headed north,” he explains.  “And it has the scepter. Now we have to retrieve it.  Again.”

“The genie is out of that bottle,” says Natasha, trying to bring the discussion back on topic.  “What’s clear and present is Ultron.”

“I don’t understand,” says Helen Cho, speaking for the first time.  She’s observing the fallen robot that Ultron occupied.  “You built this program.  Why is it trying to kill us?”  That’s a brilliant question.

Then Tony starts laughing. 

“You think this is funny?” asks Thor, speaking for everyone.  Not one person is cracking a smile.

“No,” replies Tony.  “It’s probably not, right?  This is very terrible.  Is it so…” he scoffs.

“This could have been avoided if you hadn’t played with something you don’t understand,” scolds Thor.

“No, I’m sorry, it is funny,” argues Tony, meeting Thor face to face.  “It’s a hoot that you don’t get why we need this.”

“Tony, maybe this might not be the time,” warns Bruce.

“Really?” demands Tony, rounding on him.  “Do you just roll over and show your belly every time somebody snarls?”

“Only when I’ve created a murder bot,” replies Bruce.

“We didn’t,” insists Tony.  “We weren’t even close.  Were we even close to an interface?”

Bruce gives him a look that says “Kind of.”

“Well, you did something right,” says Steve.  “And you did it right here. The Avengers were supposed to be different than S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Oh, that’s a low blow, honey, Natasha thinks bitterly. 

“Anyone remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole?” asks Tony, trying to give himself a saving grace. 

“No, it’s never come up,” replies Rhodey, either looking out for his friend or being sarcastic.  Probably both.  Natasha rolls her eyes. 

“A hostile alien army came charging through space and we’re standing three hundred feet below it,” Tony continues.  “We’re the Avengers.  We can bust arms dealers on a livelong day, but that up there,” he points up.  “That’s the endgame.  How are you guys planning on beating that?”  Natasha does have to offer a little bit of sympathy for him.  He’s still haunted by what he experienced that day.  But Steve is right.  Ultron bares too much resemblance to what S.H.I.E.L.D. tried to do with Project Insight.

“Together,” Steve answers ever the one to remind everyone that they are still a team. 

“We’ll lose,” insists Tony.

“Then we’ll do that together too.”  The two men share a silent look of understanding.  Their relationship is a tense one at best, but they are close.  “Thor’s right, Ultron is calling us out.  And I’d like to find him before he’s ready for us.  The world is a big place.  Let’s start making it smaller.”

“I’d love to do that, but we need to get some sleep first if we’re going to be effective,” says Clint, yawning loudly. 

“Getting old there, Barton?” teases Natasha, but she agrees.  They are all tired and they are more than a little irritable.  Clint sticks his tongue out on her.  She retaliates the same way.  “First thing in the morning, we’ll start looking for Ultron.” 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” asks Steve, coming up to her.  The concern all over his voice makes her want to smile.

“Steve, you might be a soldier who’s incapable of sleep when he has to be, but I think we can survive with a few hours of shut-eye.”

“Well, I’m not going to complain,” says Tony, yawning loudly. 

“And I need to get back to Korea,” says Helen Cho.

One by one, everyone starts filing out of the lab, going their separate ways.  Steve exits the room with Natasha, but she tells him that she will be up in a minute.  As soon as everyone is gone, Natasha tracks down Bruce, who is still in the lab observing what’s left of Jarvis. 

“Bruce?” she says.

“Yeah?” he replies, not looking at her.

“I need a favor,” she explains.  She steps closer to him and drops her voice low.  “I need you to check my womb.”  After that fight in the living room, she has been worried sick.  What if she damaged her unborn baby?

Bruce rounds on her and pushes his glasses back up his face.  Natasha’s eyes are pleading; she doesn’t think she has ever felt so vulnerable.  “Okay, just take a seat.”

She does as instructed and sits down on an operating chair.  Bruce rummages around for a moment or two before pulling out a scanner.  It’s one of his and Tony’s more advanced x-ray scanners. 

“Sorry, it’s not a sonographic device, but I think it should work,” he apologizes.

“It’s okay, just do your best.”  Natasha leans back as Bruce scans her body with the device.  The longer he goes without saying anything, the more she worries.  She can’t lose her baby.  Not when she’s waited a lifetime to have this opportunity.  She can’t even think the word “miscarriage” without feeling her eyes well up with tears. 

Eventually, Bruce shuts off the device.  “Well, Nat, you can relax now.  Your baby is perfectly fine.  That’s that tough nut you have growing inside you.”

Natasha lets out a surprised hiccup that builds into a relieved laugh as she leaps from the chair and throws her arms around Bruce.  She doesn’t know what she would have done if anything had happened to her baby.  Bruce hugs her back.

“Well, he does have me and Steve for parents,” she boasts, but she’s still laughing.

“Wait, what?”

Natasha and Bruce turn around and their eyes land on Tony.  “Oh, shit,” she moans.  Why does she fear that Bruce is the only one of the Avengers that she will have told about her pregnancy intentionally?  Will Steve find out by accident?  Assuming he does find out before she doesn’t have to tell him?

“Oh, my, this is…this is…” stutters Tony, completely lost for words for once.  “Oh, my God.  Oh, my God!”

“Tony…” warns Natasha. 

“You’re pre…” the word is cut off with a clank as something hits him in the head.  “Ow.” He wobbles for a second and then falls to the floor.  Next to him is a piece of the fallen robot that was Ultron.  Natasha whips around to face Bruce.

“Did you just…?” she points at Tony’s unconscious form.  “What did you do that for?”

Bruce looks down, hiding his face.  “He was freaking out.”

A surprised laugh escapes Natasha’s lips.  “Come on, Banner.” She wraps an arm around his waist and she steers them out of the lab. 

“Wait, are we just going to leave him there?” asks Bruce, looking back at Tony’s unconscious form. 

Natasha detaches herself from her friend, grabs a cushion from a couch, and then plays it under Tony’s face.  Then she returns to Bruce.  “Yes, we are.”  Together, they go to the elevator.  Bruce’s floor is a higher floor than hers and Steve’s, so when they get to her floor, she and Bruce exchange their “goodnight’s” and she waits for the doors to close behind her.  Then she heads off to bed.

She fears she and her friends are in for a rough ride with this Ultron.  He hurt her brothers.  That is plenty incentive for her.        

Chapter Text

After that fiasco with Ultron, considering how tense things were when everyone retired for the night, it made for an equally, if not tenser morning.  It took a long time for Natasha to get to sleep.  It was bad enough that Ultron had her mind racing, but it was made worse that Steve had not gone to bed with her immediately. She is used to him sometimes staying up late, but this was one night that she worried.  She’s not always a needy wife, but she was worried when she found him running on the treadmill. 

He was running as fast as the specially designed treadmill could go.  He only does that when he’s very stressed out about something.  She reminded him, not for the first time that he couldn’t run from his stress.  She pressed the stop button on his treadmill and then coaxed him into bed.  It took some time, but eventually they managed to get to sleep. 

Even so, when morning came, it felt like they barely slept a wink.  When they went back downstairs, the previous night came back to them.  Natasha was happy she wore shoes.  There was still glass everywhere.  Much to her amusement, Tony was still curled up on the floor where she and Bruce left him.  Steve didn’t notice him until they heard a loud snore.  Tony was curled into a ball and he hugged the pillow like a teddy bear.  Why did Natasha think in that very moment that Tony’s version of teddy bear would likely be wearing lingerie? 

“Wow,” Steve muses.  “What happened to him?” 

Natasha bites her lip as Steve walks over and sinks to his knees next to Tony. He nudges the man a bit.  Tony groans in response.  It’s a soft groan to start with, but then it’s a louder groan as he rolls onto his back.  His eyes flutter open.  “Cap?” he asks.  “Cap!” he says again, scrambling to his feet.  He straightens himself out.

“Rough night?” Steve asks.  “Well, besides the whole Ultron thing?” 

“Well…” he looks at up at Natasha and she casts him a warning glance.  “I hit my head, but I’ll be okay.  Let’s figure out what about the mess I helped create.”  He walks off, kicking up some broken glass along the way. 

Steve looks up at Natasha.  She shrugs, feigning innocence as best she can.  Lying to him or keeping secrets from him is such a challenge.  “Pancakes?” he asks.

“Only if they have blueberries and I want bacon,” she replies as she walks up to him and wraps her arms around his neck.  “And I am going to make you a banana smoothie.”  She pecks him on the lips. 

“I like the sound of that,” Steve says huskily. 

She hears someone clear her throat.  “Um, Cap?”

Natasha looks away from her husband and sees Maria.  She looks back as her husband.  “Duty calls, babe,” she gives him a playful spank. 

He growls at her in annoyance, but Maria smiles at her while he isn’t looking.  Her face falls serious as with the click of a button as soon as Steve turns back towards her.  Natasha smiles and then goes to the kitchen.  Therein she finds Tony already putting things together for a smoothie. 

She sits down at the kitchen island.  “So…” she begins awkwardly. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s my line,” says Tony, not meeting her eye, as he puts everything into the blender. 

“Listen, Tony…” she is cut off as he turns on the blender.  He stops it.  “Tony…” he turns on the blender again.  She scowls and unplugs the blender.  “Will you let me talk?” she demands. 

“What’s there to talk about?” asks Tony, snatching the cable from Natasha and plugging the blender back in.  “You’re pregnant, you and the Cap are expecting a baby, and Bruce gave me a headache, end of story.”

Natasha blinks several times as he finishes making his smoothie.  “So what, that’s all you have to say?” she asks. 

He ignores her for a moment as he pours his smoothie into a glass and then takes a long sip.  “Does the Cap know?” he asks.

“No,” replies Natasha. 

“Why not?” asks Tony.  “Doesn’t he have the right to know?  Or is he not the father?”

Natasha gives him an angry smile.  “Ask me that again and your head will not be the only thing that’s aching.  And no, he does not know.” 

Tony shudders with mock-fright.  “Well, you’re going to have to tell him eventually,” he tells her sagely.  He rolls his eyes and puts a hand on his chest.  “Look, I’m sorry I freaked out last night.  Between accidentally creating a ‘murder bot’ as Bruce kindly put it and hearing that you are pregnant, it has been a long couple of days.”

Natasha scoffs as she props her elbow on the countertop and rests her cheek against her fist.  “You’re telling me,” she says.  “Until right before we went and took out Strucker, I knew that I couldn’t get pregnant.  And now I’m eating for two.” 

Tony shrugs.  “I guess super-serum includes super sperm,” he says. 

Natasha puts her face in her hands.  “Could you not be crass for five goddamn minutes?” she moans.  “It’s too early!”

Tony finishes off his smoothie in a large gulp.  “We’re all cranky this morning; at least I have my way of making it a little easier.”

“Well, no one appreciates it.” Natasha gets up and puts a pan on the stove and grabs a few eggs and a stick of butter from the refrigerator.  She slices off a chunk of the butter and puts it in the pan to melt it down.  She makes her eggs and toast in silence.  As she does, Bruce comes into the kitchen.  He looks like he has had better rest than both her and Tony.  Bruce always seems to be a heavy sleeper.  She wishes him good morning and offers him some eggs. 

He politely says no, telling her to enjoy her own breakfast while he makes his own.  Natasha eats her breakfast in silence.  Eventually, Clint and Thor join them.  Thor, as usual, goes for his stash of Pop-Tarts, putting two of them in a toaster while eating another two.  He also eats a banana.  Clint starts making blueberry pancakes.  So far, it seems like nothing is terribly wrong, other than the fact that very few words have been exchanged.  It’s obvious that everyone is still reeling from the events of last night.  Normally breakfast usually promises a few laughs and some lively conversation.  No one is in the mood. 

Also everyone got thrown around, literally, last night.  Tony and Clint don’t have body enhancements; they ought to be sore.  Actually, Natasha knows that Tony is sore since she and Bruce are partly responsible for that.  Bruce throwing that object at Tony and knocking him out is going to be a treasured memory for Natasha. 

Clint finishes his pancakes and then sits down with a groan.  “That’s it, I’m retiring,” he says. 

Natasha smirks at him as she finishes her breakfast.  “You’ve said that on and off for five years now,” she teases.

“This time I mean it,” says Clint.  “I have another baby on the way and Laura is just that more worried that it’s only a matter of time before she ends up having to raise our kids alone.”

Natasha’s face turns serious.  “Don’t talk like that,” she says quietly.  “You’re going to live a long time and eventually you might even become a grandpa.”

Clint raises an eyebrow.  “Are you trying to make me feel better by reminding me that I’m getting older?”

Natasha clears her throat, looking away awkwardly.  “Sorry…old man,” she teases. 

Clint shoves her playfully.  “We should probably start seeing what Ultron has been up to,” he suggests. 

Natasha agrees.  She rinses off her dishes and puts them into the dishwasher.   She hears a phone ring.  It’s Clint’s. 

She watches him pull it out.  “Ah, it’s Laura,” he says.  “Excuse me.”  He walks off.

“Tell her I said hi,” says Natasha, smiling privately.  She finishes cleaning up from her breakfast and then goes to a computer.  Ultron would likely go after the people who helped bring him about.  Baron von Strucker was one of those people.  She starts going through profiles of people connected to the Hydra base in Sokovia.

“Finding anything useful?” asks Tony, coming up behind her. 

“Working on it,” says Natasha, staring intently at the screen.  The files they had were extensive and they didn’t have too much time to go through them all.

“I didn’t say it before but I’m happy for you, Romanov,” says Tony.

Natasha inhales sharply.  “Thanks, Tony,” and she means it. 

“Happy for her?” asks Thor, walking towards them.  “Why are you happy for her?”

Natasha’s heart thuds in her chest, while Tony clears his throat awkwardly.  “Um, just happy that Mrs. Capsicle here is okay after last night’s fiasco,” he replies evenly.

“Smooth, Stark,” Natasha mutters under her breath.  She watches Thor out of the corner of her eye and sees him nod slowly.  Thor is obviously still judging him because of Ultron.  Well, she would say she is as well, but she’s not as loud about it.

“Yes, it is a good thing, isn’t it,” says Thor.  He smiles that big smile of his and squeezes Natasha’s shoulder in a brotherly manner. 

She smiles at his display of affection.  Soon Steve walks up to them with a tablet in his hands.  He hands it to Thor.

“What’s this?” asks Tony. 

“A message,” replies Steve as Thor roughly passes the tablet to Tony.  “Ultron killed Strucker.”

Tony looks at the tablet and he angles it so that Natasha can get a view of it.  Strucker was dead on his cell bed with a wound in his chest.  Behind him, the word PEACE was written with his own bloody on the wall.  Off to the side was what looked like Ultron himself.

“And he did a Banksy at the crime scene,” says Tony.  “Just for us.”

Natasha shakes her head.  This doesn’t add up.  “This a smokescreen,” she says.  “Why send a message when you’ve just given a speech?”

Steve already seems to have an answer.  “Strucker knew something that Ultron wanted us to miss,” he deduces.

That would make sense.  “I bet he…” whatever she is about to say doesn’t matter anymore because all record of Strucker disappears right before her eyes on the screen.  “Yep, everything we’ve had on Strucker has been erased.”

“Not everything,” argues Steve.  He smirks.  “Don’t we still have physical records or was everything we had on Strucker all digital?”

Natasha raises an eyebrow at her husband’s quip.  He raises his eyebrows in response.  Then Tony groans loudly.  “Oh, come on, Tony,” she croons.  “What’s life without a little homework without the help of a computer?”

She kicks back her chair and rises to her feet, feeling a sudden wave of enthusiasm.  “Come on, this will be fun!”  She takes a breath and then registers all of the guys giving her a strange look.  She shuffles her feet awkwardly.  Since when does she have outbursts of excitement like that?  Normally she is very reserved, only showing glimpses of her sense of humor to people like Steve and Clint.  Even Bruce has the right to say that he has seen her sense of humor, mostly because he doesn’t get on her nerves as much as Tony does.  As for Thor, sometimes she thinks he sees her as comparable to, in his words, a shield-maiden.   

She walks off without another word.  She beats everyone to the records room and starts going through the alphabet.  “Strucker, Strucker, Strucker…” she murmurs to herself as she makes her way to the S’s.  It’s not long before she finds a few boxes all with the name Strucker.  It would turn out they still have a lot of records on Strucker.  “Baron, you definitely were a prolific man,” she mutters as she grabs a box. 

Steve is the first to catch up to her and he grabs a couple more boxes.

She smirks at him.  “You enjoyed that, didn’t you?”

A tight-lipped smile crosses Steve’s features.  “A little bit, yeah,” he admits.  “I’m all for fewer trees being cut down, but there are benefits to having records that are on literal paper.”  If Tony was in the room when he said that, it would have started an argument along the lines of “paper can get burned while computers can be hacked.” 

The way Natasha sees it she would remind them that both have their advantages and disadvantages.  It can be very tiresome being forced to be the diplomat, or bridge between Tony and her husband’s clashes. 

Once they have the boxes, they carry them back to the living room and they start going through them.

The boxes were filled to the brim.  It wasn’t long before Steve was shaking his head.  “Known associates…” he says.  “Baron Strucker had a lot of friends.”

“Well these people are all horrible,” adds Bruce as he flips through some of the profiles.  They included arms dealers, a few known terrorists, Hydra operatives, crooked politicians that Natasha helped expose when she released S.H.I.E.L.D.’s files to the public and more…

“Wait, I know that guy,” says Tony, pointing to a portfolio in Bruce’s hands.  The name on it is Ulysses Klaue.  Bruce hands it to Tony.  “From back in the day, he operates off the African coast, black market arms.”

Natasha watches Steve as he shoots Tony a judging look.  She has gotten that look before and it makes her squirm in a bad way more than she would care to admit.

Tony meets her husband’s gaze.  He knows when he’s being judged, but he takes Steve’s silent criticism with ease. “There are conventions, alright?” he says, a little defensively as Thor takes one of the papers.  “You meet people, I didn’t sell him anything.”  He inhales.  “He was talking about finding something new, a game changer.  It was all very Ahab.”  

“This,” says Thor, pointing to the picture. 

Tony looks at the picture.  “Uh, it’s a tattoo; I don’t think he had it.”

“No, those are tattoos, this is brand,” Thor corrects him, pointing specifically to a rectangular scar a few inches below his left ear.

Bruce takes back the picture and gives it a closer look.  “Looks like a symbol,” he says.  “Maybe we can still look that up.”  He goes to a computer and places the photo under the scanner.  It scans and the image appears on the screen.  Bruce starts typing and he highlights the brand.  Soon the computer starts going through symbols, looking for a possible match.  A couple of minutes later a match is found. 

“Oh, yeah, it’s a word in an African dialect meaning ‘thief’ in a much less friendly way,” he explains.

“What dialect?” Steve asks.

“Wakanada,” replies Bruce, but then he corrects himself.  “Wa…Wa…Wakanda.”

Steve and Tony look at each other, incredulous.

Tony turns towards him looking worried.  “If this guy got out of Wakanda with some of their trade goods…” he begins.

“I thought your father said he got the last of it,” says Steve. 

Natasha suspects that they are talking about vibranium, but she couldn’t be sure.  She doesn’t know very much about Wakanda.  Apparently, she isn’t the only one.

“I don’t follow, what comes out of Wakanda?” asks Bruce, standing up.  Steve’s eyes go to his shield, which is leaning against a file cabinet.

“The strongest metal on Earth,” Tony replies. 

“Where did you say this guy is now?” asks Steve.

Tony looks back at him.  “Like I said, he’s off the South African coast.  A salvage yard a few miles outside of Johannesburg, I think.  If Ultron gets to Klaue, he is probably going for the vibranium and if he gets the vibranium, then…”

“He will be that much harder to stop,” Steve finishes.  “We can’t let that happen.”  He turns his eyes to everyone.  “Suit up, everyone.  Be ready to leave for Africa in a half hour.”  With his command, he leaves the room, followed by Clint.  Natasha starts to follow after Steve, but Bruce stops her. 

“Nat, can we talk in private?” he asks. 

Natasha isn’t sure she is going to enjoy this conversation.  She lets him lead her into a quiet area.

He straightens his glasses.  “Nat, I-I think you should sit this mission out,” he says haltingly.

Natasha takes a deep breath.  She knew this was bound to happen.  “Bruce, I appreciate you for caring, but I am going on this mission,” she says firmly.

“And what if you end up miscarrying?” asks Tony, coming into view.  “Don’t wrap your legs around my neck for me saying this, but I’m with Bruce on this one.  You should stay home for this one.”

“And what am I supposed to tell Steve?” demands Natasha, throwing up her arms. 

“How about tell him the big news?” says Bruce as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

In an unusual display of anger, Natasha grabs a ball from the pool table and throws it hard.  It lands on a computer screen and knocks it off the table. “You think I haven’t thought about that?” she demands, exasperated.  “Of course I want to tell him!  This is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I never thought it could happen!” 

“Thought that what couldn’t happen?”

Natasha turns around and sees Thor.  He approaches them.  “Whatever is the matter, Natasha?” he asks, kindly. 

“Oh, she’s just upset because she’s pregnant and we think she should begin her maternity leave,” replies Tony without hesitation. 

Natasha inhales sharply and forces a smile.  One day she is going to sew that billionaire’s mouth shut. 

“You’re with child?” asks Thor, clapping his hands together.  “That’s wonderful news!” He laughs heartily.  “You’ll make a fine mother, indeed.”

She doesn’t share it, but that is possibly the sweetest thing that anyone has said to her since she found out she was pregnant.  “I suppose you also are going to tell me to stay home?” she mutters. 

“Gods, no!” says Thor.  “You are still a fierce warrior and you’re capable of fighting.  We will protect you as we always have, won’t we?”  He faces Tony and Bruce. 

The scientists exchange glances.  “Well we’ll just make sure no one punches you in the belly,” says Tony.   

Chapter Text

“You’ll break them,” Natasha warned, worried as she watches the girls repeat the ballet moves.

“Only the breakable ones,” Madame B. brushed off smugly.  “You are made of marble.”

Ultron does not play fair.  As the Avengers predicted, Ultron tracked down Ulysses Klaue to a salvage yard in South Africa.  Natasha wasn’t exactly sure just how much vibranium Klaue had stockpiled, but Ultron only took some of it.  Even a small amount is enough to make everyone worry. 

The Avengers made it to the salvage yard, but sadly it wasn’t before Ultron got his hands on the vibranium.  Tony, Bruce, and Thor have had their silent reservations about Natasha being a part of the fight.  As usual, Bruce was left behind in the quinjet unless the Hulk was needed.  In retrospect, Natasha wishes that they had involved him. 

Natasha did well and managed to avoid any blows to her stomach, not that any of them managed a blow to her at all.  She was doing well until Ultron unleashed the Maximoff twins.  The sister, that brat, got into everyone’s heads.  Well, everyone except for Tony who in the air fighting with Ultron and Clint, whose reflexes were just too good. 

Poor Bruce.  People are already apprehensive about him because he’s the Hulk, but now they just witnessed the Hulk when he is out of control.  It wasn’t his fault, yet the news reports were already crucifying him for what happened.  It’s not him they should be blaming; it’s that girl, Wanda Maximoff they should be blaming! 

Natasha was too stunned to speak for a while after her little vision.  Steve and Thor were no different while Bruce spent much of the flight out of South Africa crying.  She couldn’t blame him.  She barely held it together, herself.

In her vision, she was back in the Red Room, watching young girls risk injury by repeating very painful ballet moves.  She saw herself attempting to fail, just so she could be rid of her own misery.  It all culminated to her “graduation ceremony” which involved them boosting her immunity.  She was under for most of the operation, but they must not have performed a hysterectomy on her.  Her immune system should have rendered her incapable of getting pregnant.  It succeeded for a long time, not to mention she has not aged much since she had been out of the Red Room.

Then Steve Rogers came along, the man who stole her heart.  She thought that happened with James Barnes, and she thought that could have happened with Clint, but none of them were Steve.  He never tortured her, not even on anyone’s order.  He was never sent to kill her.  And she never had to face the humiliation of learning that he was already a devoted family man.

Still no matter how good in feels to be loved and to be the mother of that man’s child, she can’t get her past out of her mind.  She thought she was able to deal with her sins, but then the Maximoff girl forced her to relive the shame in her mind all over again.  Steve doesn’t even know all of her sins.  He had never tried to get her to talk about it.  He only wanted her to talk about it when she was ready.  How could she ever be ready to share her past?  How could she look in the eyes of a man as virtuous as her husband and share just how wretched she is?

He has never seen her as wretched, but everyone tends to be their own harshest critic.  That is what he would say, at least.

What did he see in his fugue state?  What sort of living nightmare was he forced to endure?  She was in too much shock with her unexpected and unwanted revisit to her days in the Red Room.  It’s a part of her past that will always be with her, but for the longest time it wasn’t in the forefront of her mind like that.  It was just a bad memory that she kept far away in her deepest thoughts. 

Arriving at Clint’s house offered some distraction from her sour thoughts.  The kids were happy to see her.  It was the first time she had seen them since her wedding.  Hearing Clint’s kids call her “Auntie Nat” can put a smile on her face any day.  But when she saw a heavily pregnant Laura, her spirits were soaring.  At least they were, right up until she found out that the baby was going to be a boy.  The little unborn traitor couldn’t be a girl just for her? 

Steve expressed his confidence that she would love the little baby anyway.  She stubbornly told him that she would have loved it more if it was a girl.  It became a silly argument that quickly got them both smiling.  They needed a smile after what they went through. 

If only it was as easy to put a smile on Bruce’s face.  They did the best they could, but without Betty there with them, him smiling wasn’t going to be an easy feat.  The closest anyone got to getting him to smile were Clint’s kids.  They needed some help with science homework.  Bruce seemed happy to help them.  Tony might be the more confident nerd, but Bruce has his moments.  He managed to turn a homeschool lesson about the solar system into a fun activity. 

Little Cooper Barton got his sister laughing when Bruce taught them that the outer planets were “gas giants.”  Bruce told them that they better not have hamburgers for dinner.  He said that they could turn Tony into a big gas giant.  Natasha thought it was a good pun and it wasn’t an untrue statement.  She doesn’t use the men’s bathroom, but she has heard the other guys complaining about Tony stinking up the room. 

Still, Bruce explained to them what made the gas giants what they were.  Laura thought that she should invite Bruce over more often. 

Clint ended up helping her cook a casserole and some grilled vegetables. 

It was a quiet dinner.  The only ones who made any real attempt at conversation are the kids.  Clint, his wife, and Natasha do their best to carry on some sort of conversation with them.  The others say very little.  They only thank the Bartons for dinner when they finish eating.  Steve offers to help wash the dishes.  Clint didn’t have a dishwasher; he appreciated the offer.  Natasha knew where everything belonged, so she offered to dry while he washed.

Neither of them had much to say.  They didn’t even playfully bump into each other.  For the larger dishes, the pans, that couldn’t fit onto the drying rack, Natasha told him where they went.  They were there in the same room with each other, often even meeting each other’s eyes, but Natasha thought he looked a million miles away.  She was certain she looked exactly the same to him.

After dinner, it’s late, but the kids manage to get everyone to watch a movie with them.  They wanted to watch Tangled.  It’s a good choice, but Thor can’t keep quiet through a movie to save his life.  He kept asking how a woman could manage such long, long hair. 

Clint’s daughter, Lila, was the one to tell him to shut up.  She even offered him her box of PopTarts if he would be quiet for the rest of the movie.  Clint must have told her about Thor’s fondness for those toaster pastries.  It worked like a charm.  Thor didn’t say another word.  He just laughed once or twice when there was a scene he thought was funny.

Steve and Natasha have a mutual fondness for the movie.  One time, she even said he should dress as Flynn Rider/Eugene Fitzherbert.  He never said no, but she couldn’t quite get him to say yes either.  She would convince him…eventually. 

Once the movie was over, one by one, everyone started going to bed.  Naturally, the first ones to go to bed were the children.  They needed a little encouragement from Clint and Laura.  Like any child, they insisted they weren’t tired.  Clint crouched in front of them both and scrutinized them.  Eventually, he shrugged and said that sure they could stay up, but everyone was going to be talking adult stuff.  He placed enough emphasis on the word that, the kids bolted to bed.  Laura reminded them to brush and floss their teeth before going to sleep.  

She also reminded everyone else to do the same.  Everyone dispersed and got themselves ready for bed.  They had to take turns since there were only three bathrooms.  Only two of those bathrooms had showers.  But with the amount of people in the house at the moment, they were likely to use up the hot water in the morning.  Steve shared the bathroom with Natasha as they got ready for bed, which cut things down a little.

Everyone had to share a bedroom.  Even if they weren’t married, Natasha could still share a bed with Steve.  She didn’t want to think of the other boys arguing about who got the bed or if they would share.

Natasha didn’t sleep well that night.  She spent a long time just staring at the ceiling.  If she wasn’t doing that, she was watching Steve.  He wasn’t struggling to sleep, but he fidgeted and even cried.  What was he dreaming about that?  He normally didn’t move much in his sleep.  Eventually, she must have fallen asleep.  She wishes she hadn’t.

She dreamt of her time in the Red Room.  Distorted memories and reminders of her dark past flooded her mind.  At one point, Steve was in her dream with her.   She was forced to shoot someone in the head.  That person had a bag over their head, but as the bag was removed, that person turned out to be Steve.  He had the most hurt look on his face and he told her, “I thought you were better than this.”  She hesitated to squeeze the trigger and in that hesitation, her instructor put a gun to Steve’s head.

Natasha awakens with a sharp gasp, sitting bolt upright.  She puts a hand over her heart as it was thudding against her chest.  Catching her breath, she sees that it is morning.  She looks beside her and almost panics at seeing that Steve is not there with her.  He must have already woken up to start his day.  That’s a shame.  She would have felt better if he had been there when she woke up.

They are at Clint’s house, so there’s no reason to suspect any danger.  She hears chopping outside.  Rising out of bed, she goes to the window.  Indeed, she sees Steve and Tony chopping logs.  Steve already has a considerably larger pile of chopped wood than Tony.  Watching Steve chop wood makes Natasha hungry.  It’s not long before she realizes that she had started rubbing herself at the sight of him chopping wood.

She immediately stops.  As she does, the reality of her nightmare as well as the last few days set in.  Any arousal at watching her husband perform such tasks is gone.    

Her mind floods with Ultron.  She also sees her flashbacks from the Red Room.  She looks at Steve chopping wood and then at her wedding ring.  Does she really deserve him?  Does she deserve the baby that is growing in her womb?  She suddenly feels very queasy. 

“Oh for God’s sake,” she moans.  She rushes to the nearest bathroom and barely reaches the toilet as she empties the contents of her stomach.  The force of it makes eyes water.  She feels like her head is about to explode.  She has a few hacking coughs and then backs away when she’s sure that nothing else is coming up.  She sits by the bathtub as she reaches up and flushes the toilet.  “Ow,” she moans.  She smacks her lips. 

She looks down at her belly.  “Already a troublemaker?” she asks her belly.  She yelps as she hears a knock on the door.  She’s too weak at the moment to rise up into a defensive position.   

“Is everything okay in there?” that’s Laura’s voice. 

Natasha, for whatever reason, starts crying.  “Everything is fine,” she says, struggling to keep her voice even.

The door opens and Laura steps in.  Natasha looks at the heavily pregnant woman and she feels even worse.  Laura seems to be understanding what is happening.  “It’s morning sickness, isn’t it?” she asks.  Natasha doesn’t answer.  Laura covers her mouth, barely suppressing an excited gasp.  “You’re pregnant!” she exclaims. 

Natasha moans and covers her face.  “I’m an expert liar; why am having trouble hiding the fact that I’m pregnant?” she whines dejectedly.

“You are a good liar, but coming from a woman who has done this three times now, you can’t hide pregnancy symptoms,” Laura explains.  “Now unless you’ve had work done, I can’t think of any other reason why your breasts look larger since the last time I saw you.  Are they tender?”

Natasha thinks for a minute.  Now that Laura mentions it, her bras and even wearing her cat suit have been feeling very uncomfortable against her breasts lately.  Laura waddles over, closes the toilet lid and sits down.  “Does Steve…”

“Steve doesn’t know,” Natasha interrupts.  “And I want to be the one to tell him.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of telling something like that to another woman’s husband,” says Laura.  She smirks.  “Unless Steve isn’t the father…” she raises an eyebrow. 

Natasha stops crying and raises an eyebrow.  “Don’t make me rethink my qualms about hitting pregnant women,” she warns, but she’s smiling. 

Laura gasps with mock-fright.  “Not even to enjoy giving my husband a heart attack?” her fright morphs into a grumble.  “And here I was hoping that this would be a fun weekend.”

“What fun weekend, what?” asks none other than Clint.  Natasha looks up and sees Clint walk by.  He must have just finished up his morning routine.  He’s dressed in a flannel which is open to reveal a T-shirt and the sleeves are rolled up.  He’s also wearing worn jeans and thick work socks.  He never wears his work boots in the house. 

He was definitely in his element. 

“Oh, don’t mind us, we are just talking about my pregnancy,” Natasha blurts out. 

Clint’s face turns white.  “Your what?” he chokes out. 

Natasha rolls her eyes.  “Yes Clint, your wife and your best friend are pregnant, deal with it.”  She smiles sweetly.

Clint opens his mouth and no sound comes out.  His eyes roll backward and he falls backward.  He lands on the ground with a loud thud. 

Laura sighs, shaking her head.  “I always knew you’d kill my husband one day,” she says.  She proceeds to stand up.  Natasha rises to help her, but she waves her off.  “I’m fine, Nat.”  Natasha follows her out of the bathroom and then they both look down at Clint’s fainted form. 

“Shouldn’t we do something?” asks Natasha. 

Laura shakes her head.  “He’ll be fine,” she assures.  “Now, I have to wake up the kids and get them to start their chores, but we are definitely making a steak dinner in celebration of your pregnancy.”  Natasha watches her go.  Then she sees Steve coming up the stairs.  He looks very agitated.  He stops and frowns down at Clint.

“What happened to him?” he asks. 

Natasha clears her throat.  “I don’t know,” she lies.  “He will be okay.” 

Steve grunts.  “Okay, well, I’m going to take a shower,” he says.  He steps into the bathroom they share, but not before he kisses Natasha’s cheek.

She enjoys his brief show of affection, but as soon as he is gone, her smile falters.  She follows him back to their bedroom and sits down on the bed.  The same thoughts that haunted her mind on the way to Clint’s house resurface. 

Chief among those thoughts is her sterilization. 

Well, failed sterilization apparently.  Her heightened immune system was supposed to render her incapable of getting pregnant.  It would seem they never considered her having sex with another enhanced human.  No, she never had sex with Steve.  She made love to Steve. 

Still she never considered using protection.  Steve never used condoms and she never used birth control.  Should she have?  Would it have been better to take every precaution to avoid a pregnancy?  Should they not have even had sex in the first place?  No, that’s silly.  She loved every minute of their sex.  Her body sings whenever he touches her. 

But, how can they bring a child into a world like this?  It’s a world with Ultron, Chitauri, former Hydra agents on the loose, and God knows what else.  On top of that, by being an Avenger, staying under the radar is a more challenging feat.  Admittedly, most people are more likely to recognize Iron Man, Captain America, and Hulk, but there are still some who will recognize her. 

Also, it doesn’t help that just the previous year she released all of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s files to the public.  Much of the files were encrypted, but that can be bypassed by anyone with a brain for cryptology and hacking. Sometimes she finds herself surfing the internet, looking for blogs where people might be showing unencrypted files from S.H.I.E.L.D. 

In fact, some of those blogs have been quite helpful in tracking down rogue Hydra agents.  Most of the time, the files just end up being about formerly top secret operations carried out by S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra.  For people like, Natasha, it makes her look like an open book.  Much of her history with the Red Room and the K.G.B. is still largely unknown, but the more prolific missions she had been involved in are right there for people to see.  There are even photos showing her as some sort of ghost in the background, a subtle seductress on the prowl. 

Steve never had to use his body, nor his sexual appeal to achieve his ends.  Having been forced to view shadows of her past, she is reminded that at one point she felt like nothing more a whore for the K.G.B. as well as S.H.I.E.L.D. who basically employed her in a very similar fashion.   

Remembering how she was basically employed to be eye candy for Tony Stark, she feels filthy.  She remembers being so grateful when the façade was over.  At the same time, she managed to earn herself a friend in Pepper Potts.  Until she made friends with Pepper, the only other woman that she really considered a friend was Laura Barton.  Maria Hill was always too professional, as well as being too much of a devoted minion to Nick Fury. 

Eventually, she sees Steve come out of bathroom wrapped in only a towel.  She can’t help staring at how his skin glistens with droplets of water.  It’s not fair how handsome he is. 

“I didn’t get to ask, but how are you feeling this morning?” he asks as he puts on a bathrobe.

“I’ve felt better,” she admits.  “I considered joining you, but there are children in the house, one of them flies around in a suit.” 

Steve smiles at the joke.  “They used up the hot water,” he explains ruefully. 

Natasha purses her lips.  “I should’ve joined you,” she says regretfully. 

Steve sits down next to her.  He moves her hair out of the way and kisses her neck.  “We will have plenty more opportunities,” he whispers huskily, his breath hot in her ear.

Natasha shakes her head and stands up. 

“I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” asks Steve, alarmed. 

Natasha shakes her head.  “No, of course not,” she says, not meeting his eyes.  She sighs before finally turning to meet his eyes.  “Steve, what did you see when that Maximoff girl got inside your head?”

Steve’s face falls and now he’s the one looking away.  “I suppose this conversation was bound to come up,” he says.  “We might as well get it over with.  I was in a postwar celebration,” he starts off.  “I was in my service uniform and I was surrounded by my fellow G.I.’s.  A swing band was playing; men were dancing with their wives and girlfriends; I was alone.  At least I was alone until Peggy Carter caught my attention.”  Steve bites his lip as he fights off tears.  “She asked if I was ready for our dance.  We danced briefly, but then in a blink of an eye, everyone was gone.  I was all alone.” 

He pinches his nose and starts shaking with sobs.  Natasha sits back down with him and rubs his back, resting her cheek against his shoulder.  He will probably always be traumatized on some level by the fact that he woke up seventy years later.  Everyone he knew was either dead or very old.  Or in the case of Bucky Barnes, brainwashed and brutalized into becoming a Hydra attack dog.   

“You’re not alone anymore, Steve,” she whispers, kissing the back of his neck.  “You have me,” you also have our unborn child.  She mouths the words, but can’t seem to bring herself to say it out loud.  Her mind tells her that it’s a perfect time, but she chokes.

Steve reaches up and holds her hand.  He looks up at her through watery eyes.  “I love you so much, Natasha,” he sobs.  “Please don’t ever think that I settled for you because I lost my chance with another woman.  I love you through and through.”  He holds up her hand where she’s wearing her wedding ring.  He kisses it, long and deep.  “You’re the first and only woman I wanted to propose to.”

Natasha cups his cheek and gives him her best smile.  “You don’t have to prove to me how much you love me,” she assures him.

Steve nods softly.  “So what did you see in your trance?” he asks. 

Natasha’s smile disappears.  Now it was her turn and she doesn’t feel prepared.  Then again, she doesn’t think anything could have prepared her for this conversation.  She looks down at her lap.  “I saw myself in the Red Room,” she says.  “I saw flashes of myself trying to fail because I didn’t want to be an assassin for them.  But they knew I was pretending to fail.  I didn’t want to live long enough to go through their ‘graduation ceremony’.  When they enhanced my immune system, I wasn’t given any anesthesia.  I was conscious through the whole process.  It was the most excruciating moment of my life. 

“Knowing that I would be rendered ageless, it helped solidify the thought that I had no place in the world.  If everyone else around me was aging while I stayed young and healthy…well it made the job easier.  Even killing was easier. 

“I thought that by being an Avenger, I might have some meaning in my life.  I thought I could be something other than what they made me.  I wouldn’t have to feel like a monster.”  She meets Steve’s eyes.  “I wouldn’t have to feel unworthy to be with a man like you.”  She laughs tearfully.  “It was a good dream.”

Steve looks at her for a long moment, his face unreadable.  He can be so easy, yet very difficult to read at times.  Finally he stands up and beckons her with a finger.  “Come here,” he says.

He doesn’t look particularly angry in the way he says it, but she is still worried.  “I beg your pardon?” she asks. 

“Come here,” Steve beckons again, more imperiously. 

Natasha walks towards him hesitantly.  When she is standing where he is indicating, he grabs her shoulders and gently spins her.  When he releases her, she finds herself standing in front of a closet mirror.  She looks at her reflection curiously.  “Do you see something I don’t?” she asks.  She hopes she doesn’t have a zit.  “What am I looking at?”

“You’re looking at my wife,” says Steve, a solemn expression on his face.  “She’s strong, beautiful, brave, funny, and loyal.  She has a dark, violent, and lonely history, but she is so much more than the assassin she was raised to be.  She cares about people.  She’s loyal to a fault even if she keeps most people at arm’s length.  People might think that she can be closed off, or the first and only thing they notice about her might be her body, but sometimes I think it’s because she’s shy.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow at him.  She never thought of herself as that.

“When she does let people in, she shows that she has a very adorable wit.  She loves to tease me about my age and, well everything about me, but she’s not much younger than me.  She can be very sweet one moment, and she can be very scary the next.  She kicks ass— and don’t call me out on my language—with grace and panache.  She’s an Avenger through and through.  She’s my best friend and I love her very much.”

He finally turns her around and makes her look him in the eye.  “You’re not a bad person and you are definitely not a monster,” he says firmly.  He sighs.  “Neither of us can change our past, but we don’t have to let it define us.  I love you so much and if I have to spend the rest of my life trying to convince you that you’re not a monster, then so be it.”

Natasha’s eyes are glittering with tears as she reaches up and kisses her husband.  His arms wrap around her as his kisses her back.  Soon, however, she regains control of herself and pulls away.  If she wasn’t already pregnant, she would make love to him there, right now in Clint’s guest bedroom.  She hugs herself to Steve's chest.  “I love you too, Steve,” she says.  “Now let’s get dressed.”       

Chapter Text

Natasha slowly awakens with a groan.  As her eyes swim into focus, she notices a few things.  It’s damp, cold, and hard.  She’s underground, she can tell.  The ground below her is stone.  Her ears pick up clanking and banging.  It sounds like factory work.  As she comes to, that thought is confirmed.  Based on her surroundings, it looks like she at the fortress in Sokovia.

She has been brought back here?  Why?  She sees several versions of Ultron.  For a brief second, she hopes she is having a nightmare.  With painful realization, she knows that Ultron has successfully been making copies of himself.  It means that the situation the Avengers have put themselves in has gone from bad to worse, much worse.   

How did she end up here? 

The passed day or so have been a blur.  Just the other day, Natasha was feeling very low.  The Maximoff girl did a number on her and she couldn’t help feeling like the monstrous killer she was raised to be.  Still, out of the depths of her misery, Steve managed to pull her out with all the right words.  How he manages to make her feel good about herself, even when she thinks she doesn’t want it remains a mystery to her. 

It did make for a better day.  Natasha spent most of the day indulging Cooper and Lila.  She loves those kids.  They got her to play with them between their chores.  She was willing to do stuff around the farm, but, much to her annoyance, everyone was treating her like she was made of glass.  Steve didn’t understand it.  He thought she should be allowed to do chores around the place if she wanted.  It seemed like a perfect opportunity for her to tell him the happy news. 

Clint and Bruce gave her poorly hidden looks.  Laying here in this dungeon, all Natasha can think is why is it so damn hard for her to just walk up to Steve and say “Hi, honey, you’re not going to believe this—I had trouble believing it too—but I’m pre…” She can’t even form the word! 

Nick Fury showed up at the farm and with a few scolding words for Tony creating Ultron.  When he got into the house and saw Natasha, he expressed his hurt that he wasn’t invited to her wedding.  To be fair, Natasha wouldn’t have known where to send an invite.  Her former boss didn’t exactly have an email that he bothered to disclose with her.  However, that very evening he did have a late wedding gift for her and Steve.  It was a fancy camera. 

He figured that some memories are too precious to go without being captured on film.  Natasha remains apprehensive, but Steve liked the idea of making family home movies.  Listening to him talk about the kinds of events they could record, from setting up their first house, to anniversary evenings, to Christmases…she found herself smiling at the possibilities.

After dinner, they got to discussing how to deal with the Ultron problem.  For one thing, they had no idea how to find him.  He had made himself very difficult to find.  Bruce cleverly deduced where he might be just from looking at a picture of a butterfly that Lila drew for Natasha.

They made the decision to fly Helen Cho’s lab in Seoul, South Korea when morning came.  However, it wasn’t long after she went to bed that she was awoken by Clint.  He said that they needed to talk.  She let Steve sleep as she put on a robe and followed him downstairs and out onto the porch.  She found that they weren’t alone.  Bruce and Tony were there too. 

She knew what the meeting was about before anyone spoke.  Still, Tony, who must have drawn the short straw judging by his reluctance to speak, told her that they all agreed that she should probably sit this next mission out.  They already tried to do the same before they went to the African coast.  She managed to get out without any bruises.  Still, none of them felt comfortable with her being on the mission with her pregnancy.  None of them used the word, but it was clear that they thought she was a liability.  They completely polite, even loving about it, but she must have been too tired, too hormonal, or just too stubborn to see it at the time. 

She went into a hushed rant about how she was going on this next mission with or without their consent.  She wasn’t weak or out of shape.  She was just as much a part of the Avengers as any of them and the fact that they had the audacity to tell her to sit this mission out was disloyal.  They thought they were her friends, her brothers, and they doubted her abilities.  Then she said harshest words that ever came out of her mouth.  They were not her friends.  She was coming on this mission and if they wanted to stop her, they might as well shoot her in the head. 

She returned to bed in a huff.

Morning came and hardly a word was spoken between any of them.  Steve tried to make conversation, but quickly realized the cold atmosphere.  Maybe everyone was just a little tired.

As they left, Natasha watched as Clint stayed behind to say goodbye to Laura.  For a minute, she wondered what it would be like to be her.  What would it be like to be the loyal wife who stays home and while her husband goes off to war?  She has no qualms about being a warrior herself—Steve’s word, not hers—but still.  White picket fences, a lovely little house, a child or two to love and nurture, and not waiting for the next time she has to pull out her gun.

It all sounds so wonderful.  It kept her thoughts very positive through most of the flight to Korea.  Steve even noticed that she seemed a little distracted.  He also couldn’t understand why everyone was so terse with each other.  Very brief goodbyes were exchanged everyone left Clint’s house.  Bruce left for New York with Nick Fury while Tony was on his way to the Nexus hub in Oslo.  It left just Natasha and Clint with Steve. 

Given they weren’t keen on speaking much, Steve assumed the worst.  He even wondered out loud if he did something wrong.  That was when Natasha finally found herself exchanging guilty looks with Clint.  She said some very harsh things to him last night and he didn’t deserve it.  Still she couldn’t bring herself to apologize. 

Clint himself said that they should just focus on the mission ahead.  It took them a few hours to reach Korea.  They took turns sitting in the pilot seat, but they also took a few minutes to put it on autopilot.  If what they were suspecting was true, Ultron would be trying to use Dr. Cho’s Cradle to build himself a body.     

Luckily, they got to Seoul before Ultron could finish uploading himself into the cradle.  Steve went in first, much to Natasha’s amusement now that she thinks of it, it didn’t take long for him to lose his shield.  That’s why he has her around.  She got his shield and then she managed to get onto the truck that Ultron had the cradle in.  She lost her motorcycle in the process.  She liked that bike. 

She did manage to get the package into the quinjet, but she got captured. 

Now here she is in this dungeon.  Steve and the boys must be so worried.  One of her hands instinctively goes to her belly.  Where’s a stethoscope when she needs one?  If she loses her baby before Steve even knows about it...

She really should have stayed home.

“I wasn’t sure you would wake up,” says Ultron.

Natasha snaps to attention as she sees Ultron himself nearby.  She doesn’t have anything to defend herself with.  Plus, she’s sure that the brave face she is putting on is poorly hiding her fear.  Would she be this afraid if she wasn’t with child?

“I was hoping you would,” continues Ultron.  “I wanted to show you.  I don’t have anyone else.”

She wants to say something snarky, but she thinks better of it as she raises herself up on her elbows. 

“I think a lot about meteors, the purity in them.”  Ultron almost sounds sad.  He goes on to say how she wounded him, how he was meant to be beautiful and somehow she took them from him.  Then, she staggers backward as an even larger version of him tears through him and looms over her.  Finally, he closes the door in front of her. 

“It must be a beautiful thing, the gift of procreation,” laments Ultron.  “I was meant to be reborn, to evolve, but that’s gone now.  And soon, I will wound you as you have wounded me.”

Natasha swallows hard.  Does he know that she is pregnant?  If she loses her baby, she doesn’t know what she will do.  She has waited too long to become a mother.  The fact that he would threaten her like that makes her blood boil.

As he locks the door, the feeling of being in a dungeon is complete.  She needs to let someone know she is here.  She looks through the junk around her.  She opens up one of the pieces of the smaller Ultron and puts together a shortwave radio.  She has no way of hearing back, but she clicks her location in Morse code.  If anyone is listening, hoping to hear from her, it would be Clint or Steve.  Most likely, it would be Clint because they have a secret cypher between them from their covert days. 

And then she waits.  The longer she waits, the more scared she becomes.  She sees lots of Ultrons and eventually they start disappearing, leaving to God knows where.  She doesn’t hear anything, she maybe the chaos hasn’t begun yet.  Also, she can’t stop thinking about whatever he is building. 

Minutes turn to hours and she doesn’t have a watch.  Sleep isn’t an option.  Her thoughts are racing a mile a minute.  She is more scared than she had ever been in her life.  It’s different than being afraid for Steve, or Clint, or anyone else she cares about.  They are only some of the people who have made life worth living.  No, this is a different kind of fear.  This is motherly fear. 

For a moment, she thinks she has much in common with a lioness or a bear protecting her cub.  She might steal Tony’s suit off his billion-dollar ass if it means protecting her womb.  Also, she might have to ask him to make her a maternity suit.  What would that look like?  Even the suit she is wearing right now is starting to feel a bit uncomfortable in her abdominal area. 

All these feelings are so unfamiliar.  They are feelings she never thought she would experience.  It’s exhilarating. 

Eventually she feels something different.  There is commotion outside.  Something is happening.  She is sure of it.  She shakes off her need for sleep as best she can, but she can’t stop nodding off.  Maybe a few moments of sleep won’t kill her.

Suddenly, there is a bang and she is startled awake.  She slept and she didn’t even realize it.  She is sitting against a box and her head was leaning against the adjacent wall.  Great, now she has a neck sore and her head feels like one of Tony’s suits is standing on it. 

She is certain Clint got her message on the shortwave radio.  She hopes the Avengers are part of what is causing the commotion.  Hours of waiting are hopefully turning into certainty.  It’s only a matter of time before someone shows up.  Eventually, she hears someone call out her name. She looks up and sees Bruce.

She rises to her feet and smiles up to him.  She has never been so glad to see anyone.  “Oh, Bruce, thank God you’re here,” she says.  “Where is everyone else?”

“The team is in the city,” replies Bruce.  “The place is about to light up.”

Natasha looks at the heavy bars in front of her.  “I don’t suppose you found a key lying around somewhere?”

“I did.”  Bruce holds up a large gun.  She stands back as he blasts the gate.  Then he helps her slide the heavy gate open.

“So what’s our play?” she asks once she is out of that cage. 

“I’m here to get you to safety,” replies Bruce. 

Natasha frowns.  “The job’s not finished.”

“We could help with the evacuation, but I can’t be in a fight near civilians after what happened in South Africa,” explains Bruce.  “And you’re pregnant; you don’t need to risk losing your baby.  You’re fight is over for now.”

Natasha smiles at his genuine concern for her and her unborn baby.  “Does Steve know?” she asks.

“We’ve managed to keep that quiet,” says Bruce.  “You should be the one to tell him.”

“I appreciate that,” she says.  Steve needs to focus on leading the Avengers right now and he can’t do that if he’s too distracted by her safety.  Every part of her is telling her that she shouldn’t be a part of the fight.  She should be getting as far away from harm as possible.

Suddenly the ground around them begins to tremble.  Then, to Natasha’s horror and bewilderment, the ground begins to rise into the air.  She hears Ultron’s taunting words.  The Avengers are his meteor, his swift and terrible sword.

She looks at Bruce.  “Right now is a really good time to turn green, Bruce,” she says.

Bruce groans.  “I can’t convince you to leave, can I?”

“We need to get the job done,” she says.

“Don’t complain if everyone is treating you like you’re made of glass,” Bruce warns as he morphs into the Hulk. 

She looks up at the Hulk as he huffs down at her.  “Let’s finish the job.” 

He picks her up and she barely has a moment to tell him to be gentle as he launches himself into the air.  He lands on a portion of the rock and hops his way onto the surface of the flying city.  It’s a very rough ride, but he manages to land smoothly on the surface.  He sets her down gently.

“Go be a hero,” she says. 

He takes off on a sprint towards the city.  She follows suit, albeit a little slower since she is smaller.  Plus she hasn’t had a meal in hours or much sleep for that matter.  She can only go on by adrenaline for so long.

As she enters the city, she sees a number of Ultron’s copies.  Right now she is focused on finding at least one of her colleagues.  She searches frantically, eventually slowing to a walk.  Eventually, she finds Steve.  She finds him leading civilians away from the fight with…is that that Maximoff girl?

“Steve!” she says. 

Steve turns and lets out a sigh of relief as he sees her.  “Nat, thank God!” he exclaims.  He runs up to her and hugs her, meeting her lips in a quick kiss. 

She hugs him back.  However, she soon pulls away and points at the Maximoff girl.  Her eyes narrow as they land on the red leather jacket she is wearing with the sleeves rolled up.  “Is that my jacket?” she asks. 

Steve follows her gaze.  “She’s with us.”

“That still doesn’t explain the jacket,” she grumbles.  Steve bought her that jacket.  It’s one of her favorite jackets.  And when did that “she’s with us” happen?  Just a few days ago, that girl put most of them through their worst nightmares. 

“Fighting these robots is getting us nowhere,” he says, completely ignoring her comment. 

“The air is getting thin,” says Clint, walking up to them.  He shoots her a frustrated look.  It’s just as Bruce predicted.  “We go up much higher, people will start dropping.”

“There are people in the city still hiding,” says the Maximoff girl.

“Get them out,” instructs Steve.  “Clint.”

“On her six,” replies Clint, following after the Maximoff girl.  He gives Natasha a brief, meaningful look.   

“And us?” she asks after they walk away.

“We fight robots,” Steve replies. 

Natasha whips out her batons just as the other Maximoff shows up with a robot’s arm in his hand.

“What?” he quips.  “We fight robots today?  Or is next month better for you?”  He speeds away again.  Does that kid ever grow tired of all the “too slow” jokes?

Steve must be thinking the same as he shakes his head.  He runs towards the chaos and she follows after him.  Almost immediately, they are embroiled in the battle.  Robots swarm around them like human-sized metal bees.  Back to back, they fight off the robots.  She does not have the energy to keep this up for long.  Also, she finds herself borrowing her husband’s shield a lot or staying behind him, all in an effort to protect her belly. 

Hulk shows up soon, tearing robots to pieces with his bare hands and even his teeth.  From above, Tony seems to be trying to keep as many robots off of her them as possible.  It would seem that everyone aside from Steve is trying to make sure that she doesn’t get the brunt of the fight.  Everywhere she turns there seem to be more robots coming at her.  She cuts each and every one of them down as best she can, but she can’t keep this up for long. 

Even if the city wasn’t getting steadily higher, she is just so exhausted.  She should have tried to sleep a little more last night.  If Ultron was interested in killing her then, he would have done it.  He wouldn’t even have bothered locking her up.  On top of that, she is starving. 

She knows how to fight on an empty stomach.  Hell, the Red Room made her go through bouts of starvation as a learning tool.  No one ever anticipated her eating for two. 

She is so cranky.  At least the robots are giving her something to take her crankiness out on.  Perhaps it is making her more reckless.  That recklessness is evident when she almost hits Steve in the head with one of her batons.  He blocks her blow with his shield and it sends an electric current through the air, zapping a robot. 

“Did you mean to do that?” he asks, panting.

“Uh, sure,” she replies, also panting.

As the city continues to rise, it enters a cloud.  Vision becomes scarce and the robots disperse.  Natasha takes a moment to catch her breath.  Steve puts his shield on his back and then steadies her.  “You’ve had a long night, haven’t you?” he says gently.

“You have no idea,” she says. 

“The next wave is going to hit any minute,” says Steve.  “What do you got, Tony?”

“Nothing great,” replies Tony, sounding frustrated over the com.  “Maybe a way to blow up the city, that’ll keep it from impacting the surface, if you guys can get clear.”

Natasha bites her lip.  Steve seems to share her concern about that idea. 

“I asked for a solution, not an escape plan,” he reminds him.

“Impact radius is getting bigger every second,” Tony argues.  “We’re gonna have to make a choice.”

Natasha walks and finds herself standing by a cliff, gazing out into the sky.  “Cap, these people are going nowhere,” she says.  “If Tony finds a way to blow this rock…”

“Not till everyone is safe,” Steve cuts her off. 

Natasha understands his concern for the people.  She shares them, but there is no way to get them off safely.  “Everyone up here versus everyone down there?” she asks, even though she hates thinking that way.  “Honey, there’s no math to that.”

“I’m not leaving this rock with one civilian on it,” Steve says stubbornly.

“Steve, sooner or later Tony is going to have to blow up this rock!” Natasha shouts angrily.  “And I’m pregnant, so forgive me if I don’t want to be on this rock when that happens!”  She covers her mouth.  She did not mean to say that.

“Smooth, Natasha, very smooth,” Tony drawls in her ear as Steve stares at her white-faced.

“What did you say?” he squeaks, stepping a little closer to her. 

Natasha finds herself smiling up at him.  “You heard me right,” she says, amazed at how happy she is.  “I’m pregnant, Steve.”

He holds up his hand.  "Seriously, though you're pregnant?" he asks.  "You have a baby growing in your belly?  This isn't some sick joke?"

Natasha glares at him. "Don't make me slap you," she warns.  "Do I have to say it in Russian?  Yes, I'm pregnant!" 

Steve gasps, but it also sounds like a short laugh.  He wraps his arms around her.  “Oh, my God, this is amazing!” he sobs.

She hugs him back, smiling despite their situation. 

Steve backs away.  “Wait did everyone know this but me?” he demands, sounding angry. 

Immediately, there’s a small wave of unsure answers.  He sees Hulk standing nearby.  Steve stares up at the big man.  “Did you know about this?”

Hulk shrugs. 

“Would it make you feel better if I told you I didn’t know, Cap?”  Natasha and Steve look towards the cliff again and they see a large helicarrier rise out of the clouds. 

“Fury, you son of a bitch,” Steve marvels, shaking his head. 

“Ooh, you kiss your wife with that mouth?” teases Nick Fury.  Lifeboats start to disengage from the helicarrier.  Natasha gets the idea. 

“Let’s load them up,” Steve orders.  Even as he speaks, more robots appear.  He rounds on Natasha.  “Honey, I need you to get on a lifeboat.  You look exhausted and when was the last time you ate?”

Natasha shakes her head.  “Steve, I appreciate it, but I am going to be a part of this fight,” she argues stubbornly. 

“I’d have to agree with Cap on this one,” says Fury.  “If you still worked for me, you’d already be on maternity leave.”

“No I am going to be in this fight!” Natasha insists. 

Steve sighs.  “Honey, you’ll thank me for this one day.”  He looks up at Hulk.  “Hulk?”

Before she can react, she turns just in time to watch Hulk flick her in the head.  Everything goes black. 

Chapter Text

“Admit it, you’re happy that we kept you from that fight.”

Natasha grumbles in response.  She looks down at her swollen belly as she grabs a carton of ice cream from the freezer.  If Bruce hadn’t disappeared, she would have had a few strong words to say to him for knocking her out.  She missed one hell of a fight, she’s sure.  Also, she doesn’t want to give Steve the satisfaction of admitting he was right.  She rolls her eyes.

“Fine, I admit it,”   she says.  “Happy now?”  She knows she sounds grumpy when she says it, but the more she looks down at her belly, the more she really is happy she wasn’t in the fight.  

How could she be in such a ferocious fight with robots and protect her belly?  Her black leather catsuit didn’t really offer much in terms of protection from blunt trauma.  Someone could still shoot her in the belly and a punch to the gut can still hurt.  She has significant pain tolerance but a blow to her belly could endanger the life of her baby.  

“Would it make you feel better if I said no?” asks Steve, his voice betraying his smirk.

Natasha tries and fails to not smile.  She sits down with him on the couch and starts eating her ice cream.  “But it’s so boring,” she whines.  She is not a whiny woman.  She would like to think she isn’t a whiny woman, anyway.  With her pregnancy she has basically been put on house arrest.  

She understands and fully supports the decision to stay away from the world.  If she can help it, she wants to control the list of people who are aware of her pregnancy.  What would the world do if they knew she was pregnant?  Not only pregnant, but with the child of Captain America himself?  The idea that there are people in the world who might very well exploit that scares her.  

In the last couple of months, she had some awful nightmares of people taking her child away from her.  She has never been so scared for anyone or anything, or even for herself, in all her life.  As Clint’s wife puts it, she’s simply acting like a mother.  

Personal attachments were severely discouraged in the Red Room.  If they could see her now as a wife and soon-to-be mother, the disappointment could not be understated.  Even before she became a wife, she had long since failed the Red Room in terms of adhering to their ideology.  She made friends and found a family.  

Natasha looks down at her wedding bands fondly.  She was going to have to take them off soon.  Already, her hands and feet feel bloated because of the infant growing in her belly.

Her thoughts are interrupted as Steve bends over and kisses her belly.  It elicits a small chuckle out of her and her eyes begin to glitter with tears.  As Steve lifts his head away, she gasps.  

Steve’s eyes widen out of his skull.  “I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” 

Natasha laughs and shakes her head disarmingly.  She takes his hand and places it on her belly.  “You feel that?” she nearly cries.  

Steve gasps softly.  “The baby is kicking.  Our baby is kicking.” He leans over and kisses her.

She kisses him back fervently.  But soon he pulls away.  She grumbles.  “I’ll be expecting more than a kiss from you eventually,” she teases.  Then she snuggles up to him.

As Steve looks for something to watch, Natasha finds herself wondering something.  “Babe?”

“Hmm?” Steve grunts.  

“We’re going to be good parents, aren’t we?” she asks.  Even as she voices her concern, she realizes just how much it’s bothering her.  

Steve looks down and meets her eyes.  He gives her that amazing smile of his that always manages to break through every barrier she tries to put up.  “I don’t think we will be perfect, but I do know that we are going to try our hardest every step of the way,” he replies.  “My mother wasn’t perfect.  She made mistakes.  But she was still the best woman I ever knew.  I would never take back any of those mistakes that she might have made, because you know what?” 

“What?” Natasha asks, although she thinks she already knows the answer.

“She learned from them and I think she became a better mom because of it.”  He strokes her hair.  “And I think that you and I can do the same...if you’re up for it.”

Natasha smiles up at him.  She hears a loud crunch.  She sits up and looks over the couch.  Her eyes land on Tony, leaning against a doorframe with a bag of potato chips in his hand.  “Tony, how long have you been standing there?” 

Tony scratches his nose.  “Long enough to know that you two are the mushiest dorks I’ve ever seen.  I might even kiss you both.”

Natasha scoffs and throws a pillow at him.  He ducks out of the way just in time. 

Steve leans back on the couch, laughing.  “Oh, this will be so much fun.”