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Masterpiece in the Making

Summary:

(I wrote this while playing through Fire Emblem: Three Houses, back in August. Love my Golden Deer. Fear the Deer! And Lorenz, you have always been worthy.)

You are not qualified to be a teacher and you're far to close to the ages of these students to be comfortable. But these kids are starting to make you feel things you hadn't felt before in a life without peers. You start to especially grow close to a younger noble student. He has some things to work through, but you had a feeling this flower would bloom into something wonderful.

Chapter 1: You are the Dawn

Chapter Text

My head was spinning. I knew traveling to this so-called monastery with my father would be strange, but not as much as I was given. This Rhea leader was shifty and there was something about her I just didn't like. The students, on the other hand, were a colorful bunch. It was hard choosing which house to be the professor over, but I went with my heart on this one.

"Why?" Claude asked, placing a hand on his hip. "We aren't the richest, the strongest, smartest, or even the most successful. Why pick the Golden Deer?"

"I don't care for those things." I shook my head. "I look for potential and I saw it while looking at this house."

"Well." Claude's smile curved a little. "You aren't wrong there."

The students weren't exactly thrilled to hear that a nineteen year-old would be teaching their class, especially since a couple were older than that. But I had hopes they would warm up to me.

One particular student had caught my eye, for several reasons. Lorenz, he was a noble, bearing a crest, and thought very highly of himself. He respected me, but I could tell there was a wall between us. He wasn't a vulnerable person and I could tell he wasn't willingly opening up to anyone.

With a week's preparation, I had an idea of what to teach the students for the current month to help them grow and achieve their goals. I had them training in all they wished to learn, so I would help fortify their skills.

"So, the lance and riding skills. That's what you want to work on?" I asked, standing across from Lorenz in the training room. I had just finished a session with Raphael, a fighter who was training to be a brawler.

"It's not uncommon for a noble to pursue such a route." Lorenz commented, as he twirled his lance in his hands. By the way he grasped and swung it around, there was certainly a familiarity towards the skill. I rolled my shoulders and picked up my sword, holding it aloft.

"This first session, we will see how well you know the lance already. We will do this to determine your skill and see what you need improvement on. The next session, we will work on those improvements." I explained, pointing to the end of my blade at him.

"And the horse-riding?"

"We'll get there when we get there." Without warning, I lunged at him, swiping my sword. He grunted in surprise, but managed to bring his lance up in time to parry my attack. We continued on like this. Normally, a lance could easily best a sword, but with his inexperience, it was not so.

A minute passed before I twisted his lance out of his arms and swept out from under his feet. He clattered to the ground with a curse. Annoyance crossed his features, as he rubbed his backside from the collision.

"I thought I was here to learn, not to participate in dirty fighting." He grumbled.

"In a real fight, most won't fight fair." I stabbed my sword into the floorboards next to him, causing him to jump in surprise. I kneeled down in front of him, as he stared, incredulous. "I will teach you all I know. That way, something like that won't happen in a real fight."

"..." Lorenz rolled his eyes and carefully pushed himself back onto his feet, picking up his lance. "I can see why Claude wanted you so desperately as our professor."

I felt a slight sting in my chest, as the taller student turned and went to leave the room. He stopped in the doorway, his bowl cut slightly swaying at the movement. He looked back and smiled slightly.

"I look forward to working with you, Professor." He turned back, again, leaving. That sting faded into a warmth that bloomed within my chest. I hadn't felt such a feeling before. Maybe this was what pride felt like?

~

It had been a month now and I am still trying to figure out how to teach these students. I hadn't been horrible, but I didn't want them to fail later in life, just because of my inexperience. I began seeking out help from other teachers, which they gladly returned. I was exhausted after a couple discussions with different faculty and found myself resting in the cafeteria.

My arms were folded on the table, as I laid my head in them. My eyes were closed, as I rested though not enough for it to be a nap. I was starting to drift in thought, until the clink of dishes reached my ears. I looked up to find some cafeteria workers finish setting up two meals, with Lorenz taking a seat across from me.

"Ugh..." I sat up and head my head, feeling a slight throb. "What is this?"

"I came into the lunch room, not expecting to find my professor completely exhausted." Lorenz started, paying you no mind as he spread a cloth napkin over his lap. "I figured we could fill you with some warm food and send you off to bed. You teach, again, tomorrow and we do not need a tired teacher."

"Lorenz, I..." My gaze turned down to the food in front of me. There was thick slices of delicious looking, grilled meat covered with fruit. Steamed rolled off it, and the smell that reached my nose almost caused me to drool. "What is this?"

"Beast Meat Teppanyaki. One of my favorite dishes here. But it's heavy and warm enough it will knock you out for the night." Lorenz smirked at that, but I ignored him in favor of diving into the dish. He shook his head, thanking the workers as they made their way off. He looked back to me, picking up his own fork and knife. "I presume you were hungry then?"

"I didn't even realize how hungry I was." I swallowed the food in my mouth and looked to him, trying to appear grateful. I was, but I wasn't good at expressing myself through my face. "Thank you, Lorenz."

"I don't want my professor to be malnourished, you know? Think nothing of it, besides, I was hoping to get the chance to have a meal with you." Lorenz began cutting up his meat. "You were a mercenary before this, yes? Tell me all about it."

~

We would be going on a mission soon. To kill a famous Lord, no less. He was the adoptive father of one of the other students, Ashe. Something felt so completely wrong about the situation. Was it right to kill someone who turned his back on the church?

I wasn't even a believer of the church, I was just hired onto it.

After meeting with my students and preparing future lessons, I decided to take a break. I sat on a bench outside the chapel, flipping through a worn hymnbook. I didn't recognize most of the songs, especially the ones speaking directly about the Goddess. I still wasn't sure if I believed in her or not.

I stopped at a song, a lullaby my father would sing me to sleep with. He did it a lot when I was young, but I hadn't heard him sing in a couple of years. I looked over the words and began to sing it to myself, quietly.

"Wandering child of the earth, do you know just how much you're worth? You have walked this path since your birth. You were destined for more." My finger traced beneath the words, as I recalled the melody. "There are those who'll tell you you're wrong, they will try to silence your song. But right here is where you belong. So don't search anymore."

"I did not take you for a singer, Professor." I about jumped out of my seat, as I looked over to find Lorenz. He looked to be a mix of amused and impressed.

"I don't. It's just... It's one of the two songs I know in this hymnbook." I looked back down to the page. "My father sang this one to me when I was young."

"Sir Jeralt singing a Wanderer's Lullaby? My, I've learned many new things today." Lorenz stepped over, sitting beside me. "You wouldn't mind me joining, would you? I love singing hymns."

"I can't stop you."

"Let's see, where were you..." Lorenz brought a hand over and also traced his hands across the words, before stopping where you were. "Aha, here we are."

"You go ahead, I'll jump in if I feel comfortable."

"My poor, dear Professor. Embarrassed by a bit of singing?" Lorenz clicked his tongue, before clearing his throat. "You are the dawn of a new day that's waking, a masterpiece still in the making. The blue in an ocean of grey. You are right where you need to be, poised to inspire and to succeed. You'll look back and you'll realize one day."

I winced. Lorenz was a bit pitchy when it came to singing. But his confidence seemed to make up for it. He really was doing his best, and in front of his teacher, to boot. I had to give him some credit.

I focused on the words and decided to join him. Maybe if we were both singing, it could mask any embarrassment he might have to face.

"In your eyes there is doubt, as you try to figure it out. But that's not what life is about. So have faith there's a way." I softly sang with him, trying to adjust my own voice to fit the song. "Though the world may try to define you, it can't take the light that's inside you. So don't you dare try to hide. Let your fears fade away."

Lorenz smiled at my addition to the song. He brought a hand over and placed it over one of my own, squeezing it in reassurance. I felt a heat spread across my face. It was like the feeling I had while training with him. Was it pride, again? Strange.

"You are the dawn of a new day that's waking, a masterpiece still in the making. The blue in an ocean of grey. You are right where you need to be, poised to inspire and to succeed. You'll look back and you'll realize one day." Finally, I found a perfect tone and our voices suddenly harmonized. We both looked surprised at the outcome, causing us to falter a little at the next words. "Y-you are the dawn of a new day that's waking, a masterpiece still in the making. The blue in an ocean of grey. You are right where you need to be, poised to inspire and to succeed. Soon you'll finally find your own way."

"That was..." I cleared my throat and couldn't quite find the words. Lorenz smiled at that and lightly shook his head.

"You lied to me, Professor."

"About what?"

"You do sing. Not perfectly, but far better than I ever would've figured. Color me surprised." Lorenz drew his hand away from mine. "I understand you aren't a follower of the church or very religious in general, but regardless, I would thoroughly enjoy to hear you sing, again."

~

"Lorenz." I finally found the tall student, as I carefully held the wooden box in my arms. He looked over from the conversation he was having with his fellow students and smiled.

"Professor, lovely to see you today on your day off." He brought a hand to his chest and straightened his posture. "What do I owe this pleasure?"

"I came to deliver you something." I stepped over and nodded to the box. "Ferdinand wanted to give you this tea set."

"Ah, yes! He said he was giving me such." Lorenz carefully took the box from my hands and gave me a grateful smile. "It wasn't too much of a hassle to deliver, was it?"

"Oh no. Just from the stables, to over here."

"What?! That's quite a ways, not to mention all the stairs in between. I apologize for the hassle." Lorenz carefully set the box on some wooden crates, before turning his attention to me. I was surprised when he carefully took my arms and examined the marks the box left behind. "Tsk, this will not do."

"Please, Lorenz. I was a mercenary for a living. I have scars that would put these marks to shame." I shook my head, but was slightly amused.

"That's no good either." Lorenz frowned. "You've moved away from such living. You shouldn't have to go through more effort than necessary. You could have called for me, rather than carry it all the way here."

"Lorenz." I pulled my arms away from his hands and sent him a slight glare. "I am an adult and I can take care of myself."

"You may be twenty, but that is only so far from my own age. You're only barely an adult." Lorenz pointed out. The students attentions were directed to our bickering, so I decided to diffuse the situation before massive gossip could get out. I didn't need that, being a new teacher.

"Look, Lorenz. I appreciate your concern, but it's unwarranted. If I want to do some harder duties, that's my decision. The same goes for you, I can't force you to work harder or not." I placed a hand on his shoulder, looking up to meet his eyes. "But for the time being, I am your professor. So, you will need to respect me as such and I will respect you the same."

"... Fine, if that is how it must be..." Lorenz huffed lightly, folding his arms and averting his gaze.

"Thank you. I hope you put that tea set to use. Have a good rest of the weekend." I gave him a slight nod, before heading back to the stables. None of the students seemed to match me in stubbornness like Lorenz did. Claude could be the same way, but not over such trivial matters. The boy knew I could take care of myself. As for Lorenz, he truly was worrying for nothing.

I doubt anyone has worried that much about me, aside from my father.

Chapter 2: Blue in an Ocean of Grey

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I was sitting at the edge of the pond, The Sword of the Creator across my lap. I examined it about a hundred times and still couldn't understand it. Hero's Relics always had a Crest Stone placed within it, to utilize its power. But this sword lacked it and yet, somehow I was able to use it.

"Professor." I looked over, slightly surprised to see Lorenz standing off a ways. He looked hesitant, but he shook his head and approached. "You've been staring at that sword all week. I'm sure you have other more important things to focus on."

"Kind of hard to..." I pursed my lips and gazed down at the sword. "I... I don't know much about my heritage. I never even really gave it much thought, but now..."

"But now?"

"I might be related to Nemesis, the King of Liberation. The one who slaughtered so many..." I closed my eyes, sighing softly. "I don't believe in the notion of sins passing on from generation to generation. Nor do I believe just because I might be related to him, would make me evil... But it's not exactly great for the public eye."

"You're not wrong." Lorenz admittedly stated. I looked back to him, as he made his way over, coming to stand beside me. He stared at the pond, in thought for a moment. "I suppose all you can do is prove the public opinion wrong."

"How so?"

"Being the best professor this academy has ever seen, which you're doing very well already. Defeating ruffians. Bringing peace. Just being the good person you already are." Lorenz smirked slightly, placing a hand on his hip. "You'll just need to be louder about it."

"It sounds all silly."

"Opinions, in general, are silly. But you have a way with people, so I have no doubt you can do it." Lorenz ran a hand through his short hair. "Need assistance while in the process, Professor?"

"No, it's something I probably need to do on my own." I rose to my feet and sheathed the sword at my side. I gave Lorenz a thankful smile, before heading past him. "I'll see you early to class tomorrow, right?"

"Expect nothing less."

~

I was about finished with grading papers, as one of my students entered the room, stopping before the desk. I glanced up, not surprised to find Lorenz. He looked particularly happy today, and it was a shame I had to bring up other manners.

"Professor, you asked to meet me at this hour? Is this about my training? I think you'll agree that I have grown close bonds with my horse, we have yet to be defeated on any mission the school has sent us on." Lorenz started, running a hand through his hair. "Have you called me in to congratulate me?"

"Quite the opposite." I finished marking the paper I was working on and sat back, folding my arms. "Lorenz, I've been getting complaints from the other students."

"C-Complaints?!" He choked.

"More specifically, from your fellow female peers. They say your harassing them." I picked up some of my notes from their complaints. "Constantly asking them out to tea, intruding during their meals, so much complimenting to the point of being insincere."

"That's absurd!" Lorenz scowled, looking frustrated. "I ask them out to tea, sure, but at a reasonable time and amount. Is it a crime to have lunch with my peers? And what's the harm in a compliment?!"

"Lorenz, those things aren't bad. But they can be if you use them incorrectly." I stood from desk and walked around to better face him. "You're just being... A bit too much."

"Too much?!"

"Yes, and I must ask you to stop."

"There's a problem with that… I can't." Lorenz shook his head, placing his hand on his chest. "I must enlighten you with some information about myself, Professor. I put my education and training first, yes, but while here at the monastery, I am also looking for the perfect wife."

"... What?"

"So much on my plate, I know. As the heir to House Gloucester, it's my duty to find a suitable wife to make my House stronger. The monastery has a variety of beautiful, young women to pick from and thus, I must mingle to find the perfect one." Lorenz explained, seeming nonchalant about his crazy answer.

"I..." I rubbed my forehead in exasperation. "It's fine to court here, but you're still going about it wrong."

"It's appropriate to treat a woman you're interested in to tea, meals, and other activities." Lorenz held his chin and stared at me for a moment. "Has a man never treated you in that way?"

"Not exactly."

"You're joking! But you're young, beautiful, strong! I'm surprised Claude hasn't swept you off, yet." I rose a brow at Lorenz's response and he flushed slightly. "Don't take it the wrong way. I, hm... part of finding the perfect girl means she has to be noble. I can't marry a commoner, and you are my professor, so-"

"Enough." I stopped him there. "Look, Lorenz. You can continue to court the girls here, but can you tone it down to ten percent? You might have better chances at a successful courting session if you do."

"I only believe these to be rumors, but... I will try for you, Professor. But don't believe everything you hear." Lorenz agreed, making you slightly relieved. Slightly.

~

"Lorenz!" I snapped, causing the student to turn around and look at me in surprise. His fellow Golden Deer students snickered, as they left the classroom for lunch. I motioned my tall student over and he slowly and hesitantly made his way over.

"Professor...?" He started, clearly confused.

"It's been a month and guess what." I held up some complaint forms. "You haven't stopped. There's even more complaints."

"I told you, there's a plot against me. And I-"

"Lorenz." I interrupted, almost to the point of fuming, but I kept my composure. "Look, alright? I have seen you, with my own eyes, how you approach woman."

"You're not in on this, too, are you?!"

"I am not in some sort of plot. Do you want to see how you treat women?" He didn't answer my invitation, so I took it as denial. I stepped over to Lorenz and reached out, taking his hand. He stiffened up, as I pressed a kiss against his knuckles. "My darling Lorenz, aren't you just radiant this morning."

"Uhh..." Lorenz looked completely bewildered, as I released his hand and went on.

"Your eyes are like the most dazzling of amethyst. No one can compare to your beauty." I brushed some of my hair back, placing a hand against my chest in mock-fashion. "The heavens themselves are jealous of your beauty."

"Professor..." Lorenz began weakly, but I wouldn't let him.

"And to add to it, I have found you worthy of presence. I was wondering if you would honor me by joining for a cup of tea. My family sent me some of the best and I wish for you to indulge with me." I took both his hands. "So, what do you say?"

"I..." Lorenz stared at me with wide eyes, before pulling his hands away. "I look like that to others?"

"Yes, exactly. I saw you do it earlier." I frowned, folding my arms. "So, how do you feel about your actions now?"

"You're right... I need to think on this..." Lorenz nodded, his face still looking to be surprised. "I will go right away to mull on it."

"Good. Go on now." I went back to start on the grading, as Lorenz turned and made his way out. I didn't realize he covered his face as he left, which was beginning to bloom red. The boy felt completely bashful. And now he was confused.

~

The breeze was cool as I stood outside the Goddess Tower. A lot had happened this last month, but it was relatively peaceful otherwise. I stared up at the cloudy night sky and reflected on Remire Village. The villagers had treated my father and I so nicely, it was a shame to see the destruction that fell to it.

My thoughts trailed back to today and I smiled a little. Claude had won a dancing competition the week before and he was sweeping girls left and right onto the dance floor. He even caught me up in a dance when he saw me standing idly. I was slightly surprised, but more amused. He was one of my more bolder students.

After that, the rest of my students caught me up in a dance, song after song. Raphael roughly pulled me along, Ignatz gently led me across the floor, even Hilda twirled around with me. It was fun, but my head was spinning and I needed a break. And that's how I found myself here.

Sothis was especially quiet, though she was probably reflecting on past events. Something bigger was going on then we suspected.

"So, this is where you ran off to, Professor." I jumped and looked over, but eased up at the sight of my student.

"Lorenz, what are you doing out here?" I asked, turning to face him better. My long cloak shifted at the movements, as Lorenz raised a brow.

"I could ask the same. I noticed you slipped out from the dance and wanted to check on you. Wouldn't want our dear professor to be unwell." He folded his arms. "Not one for crowds and festivities? You're probably unused to it, considering your past as a mercenary. But I too am not a fan of such occasions, either."

"Tired, is all." I admitted.

"That would make sense." Lorenz smirked at that. "My, my. Our professor has all the attention tonight. You even managed to dance with students from other houses. Sylvain and Caspar looked especially happy to have had a dance with you."

"My feet are aching from the latter." I shifted from one foot to the other. "Caspar was stepping all over my toes. I really just need to sit down."

"Allow me to help you get situated." Lorenz stepped ahead of the bridge and to one of the edges, before offering out his hand. I walked over and took his offered hand, and he proceeded to help ease me down onto the ground. I carefully draped my legs over the edge, letting them hang as Lorenz sat down beside me. "You don't mind me joining you, do you?"

"Not at all." I smiled slightly, pressing my hands against the ground. "I enjoy our conversations, Lorenz."

"As do I." He hummed, looking out towards the forest beyond. I stared at his sharp features for a moment, before following his gaze.

"Is there another reason you're out here, Lorenz?"

"I told you already. I only wished to check on you."

"Were you rejected at the dance by the girls?"

"P-Professor! Rude!" Lorenz sputtered and looked to me, incredulous. The look in his eyes answered my question, though his words were lies. "The ladies were wishing to dance with me, desperately, but I put that aside to check on you."

"How kind of you. I'm really flattered." My smile curved into a smirk, as he huffed and shook his head.

"I figured you might've traveled here for the legend."

"Legend?"

"You don't know? There's a legend about this tower at the night of the ball. If a man and a woman come here during that night, and make a wish together, it is sure to come true." Lorenz ran a hand through his hair, sifting the purple locks. "I don't believe in such things, and I wasn't sure on your perspective."

"So, you came here to spy on couples."

"Dear goddess, no!" He exclaimed, now looking crossed at me. "I have moral boundaries, I'll have you know. I do not spy on others! That is not the way of a true noble. Such unprofessional conduct, Professor."

"When have I ever been professional?" I looked down at my hands and flexed my fingers. "I take my students out to lunch, have tea with them, attend choir practice, and even go fishing. Heck, sometimes I have us go into the middle of nowhere to fight beasts, without clearance, for training."

"Your methods are insane, but they have results." Lorenz admitted. "Back to my question, did you come out for that rumor?"

"No, never even heard of it until now."

"I should've suspected you didn't believe in such fairy tales." Lorenz paused, before clearing his throat. "But perhaps... We could test it."

"What?"

"The rumor. I'm a man, you're a woman. Perhaps we could test out this rumor. There's no harm in it." He brought a hand to his chest and closed his eyes. "But it's something we both have to mutually wish for... What would you like to wish for, Professor?"

"I..." Swallowing my words, I shook my first thought from my mind. It was... Highly inappropriate. But if I was honest with myself...

I stared at Lorenz's relaxed features and felt something in my chest burn. I should've figured teaching someone roughly two years younger than me would be awkward. Sure, mentally I was far more mature, but I was still young. And I still had strange young adult feelings. Lorenz got on my nerves, quite a bit, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't attracted.

Moving past the horrendous haircut, his facial features looked to be carved by angels and his body seemed to bend and maneuver in the best ways in battle. My heart always seemed to flutter when he'd ride up to me on his horse in the battlefield and either attack an opponent headed my way or offer me a ride. Sure he was a bit snobbish, but he always had the best intentions.

The first wish to surface, was to have a happy future with him.

"Professor?" I blinked and found Lorenz looking at me concerned. My heart twisted and I pushed down my feelings.

"I want peace for everyone..."

"..." Lorenz furrowed his brows. "You're lying. What was your first wish?"

"That was my wish."

"Professor."

"Fine! You caught me." I exhaled and looked away. "It's... Unprofessional."

"How so?"

"Do... Can you promise not to get upset? Or to report me?" I looked back to him, feeling ashamed and scared. He must've sensed it, because he also tensed and continued to look concerned.

"Professor, it can't be that bad."

"Please, just promise."

"I do. I promise."

"Okay... Okay." I took a deep breath and straightened up. Lorenz watched me carefully and I met his eyes. "I wish... That we could have a happy future together."

Lorenz choked, reeling back in shock and his eyes were wide in surprise. My walls crumbled and I slumped forward, hiding my face in my hands. I felt so much shame and humiliation wash over me, I felt mentally destroyed. This was a terrible idea.

"Goddess kill me..." I groaned into my hands. A minute or so passed, but Lorenz didn't move to get up. He must be mortified. Soon enough, I felt a hand placed against my back. It was warm and didn't retreat.

"Professor." I hesitated, before lifting my head. Lorenz was staring at me now, returned to his usual composed state. "Did you mean it? What you wished?"

"... I'm sorry, Lorenz. That was completely inappropriate of me. This-"

"Perhaps it is. And I apologize for my reaction. I'm sure it wasn't the one you wished to see." Lorenz interjected. "But... Admittedly, I have been having such feelings as well."

"... What?!" It was your turn to choke. And now he looked embarrassed, as he avoided eye contact.

"Is this how it felt? No wonder you look wounded." Lorenz rubbed his face and sighed. "But is it any surprise, Professor? You're intelligent, strong, beautiful. All things I look for in a potential wife. Though, as shown at the ball, I have some competition for your hand. Alas, I had been ignoring such feelings for months now."

"Because I'm your teacher?"

"That, and... You could attain better." Lorenz frowned and looked deeply saddened. "I see the way Claude and Sylvain look at you. Such high nobility. And I am aware they are quite good-looking to ladies. They both have an interest in you and I figured... How could I compete?"

"Lorenz..."

"You know my confidence, when it comes to love, is an act." He pressed his lips in a thin line. "Perhaps I look more a jester than an actor."

"It is amusing to see you try." He didn't look happy at the comment, but I continued. "But there is no competition."

"... Truly?"

"Claude is like a brother to me, and Sylvain? I can't date a guy who already has other girlfriends." I sighed and smiled a little. "There was only you, Lorenz."

"You don't have to lie. I understand that I can-"

I didn't give him the chance to finish as I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. He froze, his whole body stiffening at the action. I pulled away, and gave a small, sheepish smile.

"You're amazing, Lorenz. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise." I placed my hand on top of his. He still looked surprised, again, though his pale cheeks were beginning to darken. "I wasn't able to dance with you at the ball. I owe you a dance for some other time. Thank you for checking on me, Lorenz."

I carefully got up and made my way back to my personal dorm. In my heart, I hope he wished for the same thing.

Notes:

The Goddess Statue bit was the first scene I wrote for this fic and for Three Houses, and I did it shortly after I had the time-skip my first play-through. I was very emotional and wanted to revisit the past for a moment.

Chapter 3: Where You Need to Be

Chapter Text

I sat at the grave of mother, and now, my father. Tears trailed down my face and they were a new sensation. I had never felt such sadness before and it tore me apart. I closed my eyes, trying to grasp at happy memories. But all I could see was my father in my arms, dying.

He was smiling in his last moments and that's because he had lived long enough to see the most human side of me.

"Professor." I looked up and over to see Lorenz. He wasn't dressed in his usually uniform, which made sense. It was the middle of the night, the only light coming from the moon above. Lorenz was dressed in some pale purple robes.

I felt honored. He was willing to get his nice robes dirty to come visit me. He stepped over and stopped before me. He opened his mouth, before closing it and shaking his head. His eyes showed remorse.

"I don't know where to begin... I wish I could take this pain away from you."

"I'm supposed to feel this way, right? Everyone loses their loved ones at some point, it's natural..." I wiped away my tears, trying to push down my pain.

"There was nothing natural about this. You shouldn't even be going through this pain." Lorenz carefully got down beside me and looked at the new engravings upon the tombstone. "He was a good man."

"Everything he did... He did it for me." I clutched my sleeves. "He was always there for me... He helped me make the right decisions. What will I do now that he's gone? How will I know what's wrong and right."

"Hey." Lorenz gently took my hand. "You've made decisions on your own."

"Like what?"

"Choosing the Golden Deer house, deciding who would dance from our house at that competition..." Lorenz cleared his throat, averting his eyes. "Kissing me... All of which, were good decisions in the end."

"But I don't know if ALL those things were good decisions, yet." I frowned. "The future still awaits for the outcomes."

"And it will bear fruit and it will be yours to harvest." Lorenz moved to take my shoulders, fully facing me now. "Just watch, five years from now, these children of the Alliance will be the best heirs you've ever seen. We will make you proud of your decision. I guarantee it."

"And you?"

"..." Lorenz sighed, slumping slightly. "I cannot promise, since my future is still hidden from my own sight. But at this moment? You have attained my unadulterated love. And my undying support. If you ever need anything, I will be there."

"... Thank you." I leaned forward and brought him into a stiff hug. I hadn't ever really held anyone like this, but Claude and some of the others had pulled me into one before. Lorenz tsked, bringing his arms around to hold me back.

"Relax, Professor. You're as stiff as a statue."

"Sorry, this is new..." I hesitated. "And you can just call me by my first name, just for tonight. Hearing you say Professor informally is just strange..."

"Whatever you say." Lorenz chuckled.

~

I walked down the halls of the monastery, having finished meeting with the other two professors. Graduation was coming up soon, and we would need to decide how it will go. I was passing by windows, but stopped by one, staring at the reflection. It was... Unnerving.

Green hair, green eyes, a strong aura. I'd get spooked by my own reflection at times, since it just didn't look like me much anymore. I frowned.

The new power was good, I could better protect my students, but everyone acted... Like I wasn't myself. My personality hadn't changed. Only my physical looks and prowess. But they didn't seem to think so.

I guess every gift came with a curse.

I continued down the hall, lowering my head to avoid the stares of others I passed. I checked my schedule and decided to get some training in. I made my way down to the training hall, to find some knights training along with my tall student. Lorenz practiced jabs and parries with his lance, and by the pile of books off to the side, he would be working on his Reasoning skills as well.

"Your form is good, but you should put less energy into pulling the lance back and more of it into when you swing it forward." I smiled, stepping over and leaning against a post. Lorenz almost dropped his lance, before he turned and looked over. He smiled, seeing it was me.

"You've told me a time or two before. There's much to remember, that's for sure." He sighed, lowering his weapon.

"That's why the practice is good."

"Why don't you join me then?"

"Join you?"

"Show me how it's done." Lorenz gestured over to the rack filled with different practice weapons. I narrowed my eyes at him, but headed over, grabbing an iron lance and walked over to stand beside him.

"What do you want to know?"

"Just demonstrate what you were trying to tell me."

"Okay." I faced the training dummy and got into a defensive position. "When you draw back any weapon, there shouldn't be a lot of force going back. Your target shouldn't be behind you, and you don't want your weapon to slip out of your grip and go flying backwards."

I drew back the lance with a smooth motion, before thrusting it forward into the dummy with all my might. It pierced into the material, but the dummy held together nicely. I slid the lance out.

"You want all your force going into that thrust forward, so you can land a more powerful hit." I nodded to him. "Now, you."

Lorenz nodded, twirling his lance. He followed my motions drawing it back lightly, before thrusting it forward. He stabbed cleanly through the dummy, showing his power with the lance had grown past what I could teach. Now all I could teach him was technique. He looked to me, raising a brow.

"Well?" He slid his lance out of the dummy.

"Perfect, I expected nothing less." I smiled and stepped over. "Do you want any tips or suggestions? Or would you rather wait for class tomorrow?"

"We can wait." Lorenz shook his head lightly. "I need to focus on lance and reason, and I've already spent enough time with my beloved weapon."

"Makes sense. You don't want to burn yourself out."

"Professor!" I looked over to see some Knights of Seiros, who stepped over to the railing of the training dojo. "We heard what happened last month! Is it true your the goddess and you're gonna destroy all sinners?"

"I heard you completely transfigured. Are you still the professor we know? Or a completely different person?" Another added his own questions. Their words struck a chord with me and I turned my gaze to the ground.

"Well, look at her. She's definitely not the same person."

"Oi! Enough!" Lorenz interrupted the group of Knights, looking crossed. He set his lance down and pointed an accusing finger. "Is that anyway to treat a lady? You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Asking such prying questions. She may have changed physically, but that is something that occurs to all of us. She is no different than the professor we knew before."

"There's nothing normal about what happened to her." The knight scoffed, before suddenly a small fire lit beneath him. He yelled, stepping back. Lorenz lowered his hand, causing the flames to disappear.

"Such behavior is unforgivable, I will be reporting your behavior to the archbishop." Lorenz threatened. The group grumbled, but made their way out. I played with my hands, as the young noble looked to me. "There words didn't hurt you, did they?"

"I've heard it all before." I shrugged. "Suppose I should get used to it."

"You shouldn't have to though. You haven't changed, not really."

"Oh, come on. Look at me." I gestured to my hair and eyes. "No ones hair and eyes just change color over night. That guys right. There's nothing natural about this at all."

"And is that wrong?" Lorenz frowned. I didn't answer, sighing and averting my gaze, again. He clicked his tongue and stepped closer to me. He reached out, brushing some of my hair behind my ear. "Professor, you've been given a gift. And those who care about you, they know nothing has changed about you. You're still are dear, caring professor, who would do anything for us."

"But doesn't it bother you and the others?" I asked, looking back to him.

"It took a day or two to get used to, but otherwise no." Lorenz shook his head and gave a small smile. "I still think you look as beautiful as ever."

~

Flames of torches were rising in the distance and a cold fear encased my heart. There was so many of them and they wouldn't stop coming. Had I forgotten how large the Empire was? Did I underestimate them this severely?

"Professor." I looked over as Lorenz trotted up on his horse. It knickers, as he held tight to the reins. His complexion was pale and I could see the fear on his own face, though he did his best to hide it. "It's not over yet. We still have a chance."

"..." I frowned and looked back out to the large reinforcements making their way over. For once, I was in a battle I knew I couldn't win. My students were too young, they didn't know enough, they weren't experienced enough to face this head-on. "No."

"No?!" Lorenz sputtered, before hissing with a scowl on his face. "You've never run from a battle before and now? Now, when we need you most, you're going to retreat"

"I'm not retreating, you are." I unsheathed the Sword of the Creator and held it aloft. "Go and inform the others, retreat into the woods, towards the lands of the Alliance."

"I will not retreat. You think we will leave you here? You'll die!"

"A sacrifice I'm willing to make." I began to step forward, but Lorenz surged forward with his horse, blocking my path.

"It's not one I'm willing to make." Lorenz snapped. "We need you."

"You don't need me." I went to move around, but his lance was suddenly shoved in my way. I looked to him, annoyance creeping onto my features.

"Everything we know, everything we are capable of, is because of you. If something were to happen to you, we would be lost." Lorenz argued, sweat dripping down his face from the heat.

"Lorenz, all I did was open the door to your potential. Everyone's potential. It was always there, you just needed someone to show you the way there. I'm not even sure I could teach you more." I sighed, but stared hard back at him. "And now, it's up to the rest of you to progress from here."

"Not without you."

"Lorenz..." I grabbed the staff of his lance and pushed it down, not receiving any resistance. "You told me you can't make promises to me, about your future and your decisions. I couldn't have promised that either. And now? I'm deciding to give you guys a fighting chance."

"A selfish decision." Lorenz gripped his lance, a frown set on his features. His eyes were glossy, but he remained strong. He looked very mature from the young, egotistical, bowl-cut boy I first met. "This is the worst decision you've ever made."

"And I'll take the consequences." I made my way past him, feeling his eyes on my back. I stopped for a moment. "No matter what happens... Can you promise to keep our wish?"

"... I promise."

Chapter 4: Inspire and Succeed

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Five Years~

So much had happened, too much had happened. I was protecting the monastery with my students, when suddenly everything was turned on its head. Edelgard had reserved armies and they overwhelmed us. Rhea turned into an enormous dragon. And I... I fell into a cavern and was knocked out.

I slept and never awoke, until I heard Sothis call for me. I awoke at the bank of a river, where a villager watched me in worry. He informed me of the situation and I felt my stomach turn in fear and hurt.

It had been five years. Five years since the invasion of the monastery. Five years since this war started. And worse of all, five years since my students had seen me. They must think I'm dead and that hurt me the worse.

I made my way to the monastery, despite the villager's protests. It was the eve of the anniversary of Garreg Mach and I had promised my students to see them on this day. The monastery was abandoned and completely mutilated, nothing of importance left behind. But I made it to the student's old dorms and made my way up to the second level, where the nobles stayed.

I was surprised to find one particularly dorm open, and even more so when I saw them gazing out their window. They caught onto my presence quickly, turning to look at me. A smile spread across their face as they placed a hand on their hip.

"I never gave up on you, my friend." Claude had grown so much and it floored me, causing me to drop to my knees. I cried for the second time in my life. I had missed so much of my student's lives and I would never get it back... Claude comforted me, as the emotions rolled through me.

Once I recovered, I explained to him my circumstances. He was surprised, but took the words to heart. He explained his side of the war, before suggesting we train a little.

"Sleeping for five years? You oughta warm-up those muscles for a real fight." He laughed, leading me to a section of the ruins filled with bandits. I asked about the other students, and he explained how they had grown apart physically and emotionally. But since he was the leader of the Alliance, they all worked hard with him still, and he had some small hope they'd turn up for the reunion.

The bandits were easy enough to fight off. The one problem was that there were so many of them. Claude had definitely grown stronger in my time away, making me frown upon my weakened abilities. At one point, a bandit threw me off and went to slice up my side. I was prepared to use my Divine Pulse, when suddenly a short lance stabbed him through the chest.

"I won't allow you to lay a hand on her!" That voice caused me to brace myself against a wall, as I looked back. He looked so different. Lorenz rode up upon his dark horse, that huffed as they came to a stop beside me. He gazed down at me, looking between incredulous and emotional.

His facial features had thinned out, but his eyes were still a vibrant purple. He wore a dark purple suit of armor, with a lone rose situated on top of his heart still. He grew out the bowl cut and now had beautiful, long purple hair that draped across his right shoulder. Young Lorenz was now a man.

"My dear professor," Lorenz offered a gloved hand down to me, a warm smile coming to his face. "My heart refused to accept that you were gone. You can explain everything to me later."

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I pushed them down, as I accepted his hand. He pulled me up behind him on his horse, releasing my hands as he grabbed his reins. I held onto his waist with one arm and my sword in the other, as he shot the horse forward.

The others one-by-one showed up and defeated the last of the bandits with ease.

~

After proper greetings from everyone, filled with overwhelming emotions from the students, they all departed to fix up their old rooms and start cleaning up around the monastery. That is, aside from one former student, who caught me in my old dorm.

“Pardon my intrusion.” Lorenz apologized as he stepped just past the doorway. “It’s just… I’m afraid I will wake up from this dream and you won’t really be here.”

“I’m in the flesh.” I offered what I could of a smile and offered my hand out. He stepped over and gently took my hand, brushing his thumb across the back of my fingers.

“So you are…” Lorenz smiled sadly, before releasing my hand. “I know everyone’s reiterated it, but… we have missed you dearly. We help hopeless for the longest time. We managed, but seeing you here has filled us all with hope.”

“I wish I could have returned sooner.”

“We all wish that, but better late than never.” Lorenz paused, his gaze drifting away. “I… I wanted to thank you.”

“For what?”

“You taught me all those years ago… To choose for myself. To make my own choices. That I could look out for my people, but… that I could also be with whoever I love.” Lorenz lightly shook his head. “I’m no longer seeking just noblewomen. I am looking for a strong woman, one who stand on her own two feet and make her own decisions, too. She can be born of any status, come from any land, and look however she wants… As long as I love her and she shares those feelings, the rest doesn’t matter.”

“I’m glad you changed your stance on that.” I turned to face him better. “Has it helped since you made the decision? You know, at least relieve some stress?”

“In a way, the war has caused enough stress as it is.” Lorenz huffed lightly, but relaxed. “I have courted each of the Alliance women, but there’s no settling in a war like this and well… each relationship seemed to go nowhere.”

“Really? Do you have any idea why?”

“I fear I still have high standards. Someone has made quite an impression on me.” Lorenz gazed at me for a moment longer, before clearing his throat. “But as I was saying, thank you. This change in heart only came about, because of you.”

“You’re welcome and I’m glad to be here to continue to see you grow.”

“Agreed. Now, may I help you with cleaning up in here?”

“Only if I can help you afterwards. You need somewhere to sleep tonight, too.”

“If you insist.” Lorenz chuckled, as he began to assist me with cleaning my room.

~

I helped fight in the war. The outlook changed for the Alliance and soon enough, the victory was in our hands. With the recent defeat of Edelgard, we found ourselves setting our sights on Those Who Slither in the Dark, the ones behind the death of my father and the death and torture of many others.

I found myself once more at my father’s grave, knowing the end of the war was fast approaching. I was relieved, but… where would I go after? I had no home to return to. No family to stay with.

I could remain at the monastery and become a professor, again, but the reconstruction of Fodlan would come first. Who knew when the academy would be ready to open once more? And all my dear students and friends… They would take their roles as knights and nobility. They would be married and have families, and I would watch them grow. They were adults now, I was no longer a dependant in their lives.

“Professor.” I looked over at the familiar voice and smiled at the sight of Lorenz. He offered a soft expression as he stepped over. “You left dinner so early, I was worried you were sick. I’m glad to see that’s not the case.”

I nodded and trained my attention to the grave in front of me.

“... What’s on your mind? If you don’t mind my asking.”

“A lot of things, but mostly… I’m not sure what to do with myself after all of this is over.” I admitted, looking back to him. “Everything seemed to fall into place for the rest of you, but me? I don’t even know where to start.”

“You could travel, go back to being a mercenary, you could even stay here as a professor.” Lorenz suggested. “The possibilities will be limitless once the war is over.”

“Maybe it’s hard now, because… My father was the decision maker and he’s gone. And… you guys became my next path, but you’re all going your separate ways now.” I shrugged lightly. “I could travel, but where? And see what? Being a contract mercenary doesn’t interest me anymore and… who knows when Garreg Mach will get running again.”

“... You could come with me?”

“To the Gloucester region? I wouldn’t want to intrude.” I frowned. “You’ll be stepping up as head of house soon, you’ll be too busy to deal with me.”

“Perhaps… but that brings me to something else I wished to speak with you about.” Lorenz offered his hand to me. “Allow me to take you to somewhere more private to speak of it.”

I hesitated, but looked over his expression for a sign. But all I saw was hope. I took his hand in my own. Maybe this could work, maybe my new path lay with him.

~

My dress brushed against the ground, as I reached out and took Lorenz’s hand. He smiled reassuringly at me, before we both faced forward together. Behind us sat our many friends and companions, silently supporting us in the event. Just a month before, I was with the younger man at our wedding, going through a strangely similar ritual.

Our weddings bands glimmered, his sparkling silver and purple and mine gleaming gold and green. Instead of the white we adorned a month prior, we were dressed in regal clothes. The cape was heavy on my shoulders, but knowing I could dismiss it later gave me strength.

Seteth spoke mostly out of a book, since it had been a few centuries since there had been a ruler over all of Fodlan. It was no wonder that no one knew the practices for it. After heated discussion after the war, it was decided that I would take up the mantle of queen over Fodlan. I didn’t seek the position, hoping Claude could take the place, but he had his own country to govern. So, the position was left to me.

Lorenz had long before proposed to me, and I returned the request with fervor. He helped teach me and guide me through the process, promising to help support me in such a high position. He wasn’t an expert in the area either, but he knew a lot more than I did.

Seteth continued to speak, before motioning to me. I kneeled in front of him and he proceeded to drip water across my head, shoulders, and back. I was informed of the initiation beforehand, but everything was still so strange to me. The Nabatean finished with a prayer, before I felt something cool placed around my head. The crown was a perfect fit around my head.

I rose to my feet and turned around to face my former students.

“-I announce your new queen!” Seteth called, clapping the book shut. Everyone was ecstatic and relieved. The years of turmoil were over, a new age had begun. I managed a small smile for them, as I felt a hand slip into my own.

“Would you care to relax now? We have the rest of the day to ourselves.” Lorenz offered.

“Yes, please.” I sighed.

~

We sat at the entrance of the monastery, atop Lorenz’s mare as we decided where we would travel from there. We were dressed down into light, common clothes. I was relieved to have the accessories and excess clothing off.

“Does one get used to this?” I asked, offhandedly.

“Yes, but you weren’t raised with it. So, it might take longer.” Lorenz rubbed my side. “Are you having second thoughts?”

“Always, but…” I took a deep breathe. “But I can do it.”

“I know.” I glanced back as Lorenz gave me a loving glance. “You’ve always had that potential… to become more than what you were.”

I gripped the reins, as familiar motives from the past filled my head. I had thought the same thing with him and look at him now. He had become a noble leader, an extraordinary fighter, and someone I had learned to love.

“Have anything you wish to teach me? I still have much to learn.” Lorenz teased. I smiled back at him, a slight thumping in my chest.

“Yeah… I have a few ideas…” I faced forward and slackened the reins. “Hold on.”

With a slap of the reins, we launched forward down the hill of Garreg Mach. We disappeared into the woods of Fodlan, a land that was beginning anew.

~

“Enlightened one, you inspire me to write.
How I love the way you sprint and fight,
Invading my mind day and through the night,
Always dreaming about the fierce delight.

Your gentle touch leaves me wary.
You are more darling, amusing and kind.
Snow chills the berries of January,
And wintertime has the venetian blind.

How do I love you? Let me count the ways.
I love your gorgeous eyes, spirit and heart.
Thinking of your strong spirit fills my days.
My love for you is the state of the art.

Now I must away with a blazing heart,
Remember my broad words whilst we're apart.”

Lorenz Hellman Glocester

Notes:

Thank you for reading my very haphazard story I wrote in a week without much thought!

If inspired, I will write more for Lorenz in the future.