Chapter Text
Chapter 1
“Angel Investigations where we help the helpless. I’m sorry but our team is out on a case and cannot come to the phone right now. If you’ll leave your name and number and a brief description of your problem after the beep, someone will get back to you as soon as possible.” BEEP Cordy’s cheerful voice grated on Buffy’s nerves.
“Yeah, this is Buffy. I need Angel to call me right away. Heck, forget the call just mount up the troops and come! Angel, I tried to tell you how bad it was when you came for mom’s funeral… well, it’s worse. The demon bitch is a hell god. We’re up against the apocalypse of all apocalypses and we’re outgunned. Time’s ticking and …” BEEP
“Damn it!” Buffy slammed down the receiver. “I begged him to stay but he said it was too dangerous as if I have time for playing kissy-face right now anyway!”
Calling Angel for help had been hard for Buffy. She had to swallow her pride to beg. Considering the condition Spike was in and her serious lack of high-powered backup she hadn’t any choice. There was an army of Monty Python rejects roaming around wanting to kill her little sister on top of the crazy bimbo with godlike powers and her best hope for helping fight with any force looked like he’d been hit by a Mack truck. Pride had no place any longer. “I really hope their case is just around the block and he calls back soon.”
Willow was feeding Tara and crooning to her lover in a soft voice. “Even my magic big gun is handicapped!” Tara had been the latest casualty of Glory and her quest for the Key to ending the world.
Calling Angel had been a last-ditch effort to form something that might have a chance to keep the world from coming to a chaotic close and save her little sister too.
***
Xander flashed a moue of distaste. “I don’t get why you thought we need Angel anyway. I mean he wasn’t much help when he lived here, why expect him to be all helpful-guy now?”
“He helped,” Buffy had started to add ‘lots’ but even she knew that would be stretching it.
“Spike’s the only other supernaturally powered fighter we’ve got and you saw what Glory did to him!” Buffy shuddered remembering the mess the Hellgof had made of the stubborn vampire. She still felt it hard to believe that he’d taken that much pain and damage without giving up Dawn. If someone had told her that a few weeks earlier she would have laughed herself into a coma.
“You should have asked Angel to stay when he came after your mom’s funeral. I get that you weren’t thinking straight and all but he was already here and we at least knew the Hell Bitch was uber-powerful,” Xander groused.
“I did,” Buffy whispered so low it was only the total silence of the Magic Box that allowed the others to hear.
Buffy’s face turned to stone as she stuffed all her grief and fear behind the mask she had to wear if she had any hope of leading them all to victory.
“Why did he leave then?” Anya was rubbing Xander’s tense shoulders as she asked the question on all of their minds. She didn’t really know Angel except for his reputation and that was mostly from his years without a soul. SHe’d been told that the souled-up version was some kind of white-hatted redemption seeker. It seemed to her that saving the world and the woman he claimed to love would be just the project for both.
“The temptation was too dangerous. He couldn’t risk being here with me and having Angelus back in the mix. Besides, he has so much work… IMPORTANT work… back in L.A.”
Xander sneered, “Yeah! Well, we have world-ending work here. Bet he can’t top that! Also, I doubt you two would have time for any ‘happies’ until we close this Bitch down. Sounds like an excuse to me.”
Buffy felt herself agreeing only to shove the thought to the deepest parts of her. It hurt far too much to think about and as Xander said there were far more important things on their plate right now than being abandoned yet again by her first love.
***
Buffy went by Spike’s crypt after patrol. She hadn’t been thinking straight between all the ‘death is your gift’ crypto-messages and Tara’s brain suckage. It had been wrong to just dump Spike back there after all he’d gone through, she should have realized it at the time.
It had been dangerous for Spike and unthinking on her part, on all of their parts, to just leave him there alone and in no condition to protect himself.
Buffy hadn’t been thinking clearly since her mom had died but that was really no excuse. She’d felt the lack of emotion, the hollow place where once she teemed with feelings. That was why she’d undertaken the vision quest in the first place. She felt more like the walking dead than most of the vampires she dusted nightly. Her heart had been interred along with her mom’s body, or so it seemed. Even so, she hadn’t properly grieved, just shut down.
“No time for that. No time for anything really,” she sighed. “Xan’s right, no time for ‘happies’ or sadness or grief or anger or anything else except to keep Dawn safe and the world turning.”
Still, Spike had taken one for the team, a BIG one and they’d left him vulnerable and hurting.
“Glory had her scabby munchkins already trying to grab him and drag him back to her when we came to the rescue.” Buffy refused to admit that her real intent had been to dust him for being the traitor she had expected him to be and not rescue.
“We should have considered that she might be after him again. Besides, vampires and demons would line up to take him out and there he was not able to fight off even a tiny fear demon.” Buffy gulped down her shame. “No way to reward an ally. Should have taken him to Giles’ or maybe my house until he could defend himself.”
The delayed guilt in what had led Buffy to strong-arm Willy for his supply of human blood. Anya had made a good case for the human part saying that it was a faster way for a vamp to heal rather than Porky or Bossie blood.
She started to kick in the crypt door as was her habit but stopped herself. Spike might not realize it was her and the door flying open might leave him terrorized. ‘Not that he’d ever admit it,’ she smiled and raised her fist to knock.
“Who is it?” His voice was thready. Clearly he hadn’t improved much in the weeks since his time being treated like a pinata to a god.
“Just me.”
There was silence as if Spike was shocked whether about her knocking or just her being there at all. Buffy felt the guilt that anyone, even a former enemy now comrade, would be surprised into silence by a simple act of polite kindness. ‘I really have gone cold. Mom would be ashamed of me.’
Buffy opened the door carefully and tried to let her eyes adjust to the darkness within. She’d never seen the crypt dark and lifeless before.
“Hey! What’s with the retro-crypt look? Kinda dark here,” she tried to lighten the mood at least.
“Can see well enough and it keeps the nasties at a disadvantage.”
“Ahhh. Makes sense but since I’m not a nasty at the moment at least and can’t see like a vamp… maybe a little direction might help? Got a bag full of A+ I’d hate to spill.”
Spike’s lighter flared and Buffy headed carefully toward the light. She set down her bag of liquid people on the sarcophagus and looked around for some of his numerous candles.
“Came to check on the undead English patient,” she grinned.
“Still here. Still as undead as ever.” Spike rooted through the bag and pulled out a pouch nearly purring in pleasure as he sank his fangs in the plastic. “What’s the occasion?” he managed after gulping it down.
“Heroes reward plus the selfish need for my best warrior to be back in action.”
Spike nodded carefully but didn’t stop drinking down the healing food. The second bag was already half gone and he reached for another bag in preparation for drinking yet another. “Bit okay?”
“She’s fine, Tara not so much.” Wow, Buffy began to wonder if Spike had fed since she left him there a couple of weeks before. He looked worse than he had then and was acting half-starved.
Spike hesitated digging into his third bag, his whole body stiffening. He liked the shy Wiccan. “How’s that the?” He hoped the girl hadn’t become a casualty of the skanky bitch who had torn into him.
“Glory decided Tara might cave where you didn’t.”
“Christ!” Spike envisioned the sweet, gentle, bird chained and tortured. “Did she go quick at least? How’s Red takin’ it?” He knew how he would react having his loved one murdered that way.
“Oh, no!” Buffy realized she hadn’t explained well. “Tara’s not dead. Glory didn’t get to take her anywhere private.” She saw Spike gulp and take a deep steadying breath as if in relief. ‘He really does care and not just about me.’
“Glory broke her hand and did one of her mind sucks though so she’s still in a bad way. Giles has a theory that when we beat Glory’s scrawny ass Tara’s mind might be okay again. All the people she’d done it to seem under her power or connected to her or something so the madness might come from the connection instead of damage. That’s his best theory at least.”
Spike nodded and finally tucked into his third helping. After draining that bag as well, he put his hand on top of Buffy’s. “Thanks, Pet. ‘Preciate this. And, for what it’s worth, think the Watcher’s makin’ sense. Likely right. Hope so anyway.”
“Spike you don’t need to thank me,” she ducked her head in shame. “I should have helped you right away. I didn’t forget, I swear.”
“Got a lot on your plate now, Slayer. Useless cripple of a vamp’s got no place on your radar,” he generously consoled her.
“You’re not useless or a cripple, Spike. You’re a wounded warrior and we’ll make sure you get the care you need and deserve.”
Spike gave a short, pained, laugh. “Christ, Slayer, don’t be givin’ me what I deserve. Not quite ready for hell just yet.” He gave her a lopsided smile.
Buffy smiled back. He looked terrible but there was a sparkle in his eyes again at least. How much was due to the blood and how much just being cared for wasn’t exactly clear.
“We’re thinking of ways to protect Dawn. Glory’s getting too close. I called LA but no one answered or called back so I can’t send her there. I’d thought Angel might be able to protect her if I sent her to him.. Now I don’t have any ideas.” Buffy sat next to Spike and confided her darkest thoughts. “I’m scared and feeling pretty much out of ideas.”
Spike had bristled at the mention of his grand-sire but found himself disappointed the Ponce hadn’t been there to offer sanctuary to the Bit. ‘Keepin’ her safe would be worth havin’ him prancin’ around like some kind of Marvel hero.’
“There’s a demon might have some info on the Hell-bitch. I get up and movin’ I can see what he might know. Not sure how to hide the Platelet at the ‘mo though.”
“Anya thinks we should all go on the run but to where? Also, there are those Camelot rejects out there looking for Dawn too.”
It felt strange having a civil conversation with the Slayer while drinking down human blood that she’d provided. Spike was put pretty much off his game for many reasons.
“Well. I’ve got nothin’ but time for a day or two. Can put my brainbox to use. See if I can come up with some kind of plan.”
“Spike plus plans… I don’t know,” Buffy teased.
He laughed again, this time without it causing too much pain. “I plan just fine. Kept me and Dru alive over a century with my plannin’. The problem’s been you make me impatient. I drop the plans and get all impulsive and it goes pear-shaped.”
Buffy laughed with him. “‘K. You give it your best thinky-thoughts and I’ll check back tomorrow. There’s a few more packets in there and I’ll bring some more tomorrow so no rationing,” she admonished.
“‘Preciate that. Ran out right quick and wasn’t exactly in shape to go shoppin’.”
Buffy’s eyes welled up. “I’m SO sorry about that Spike. It won’t happen again. Are you okay here… safe? We can move you to Revello or with Giles if you want. We should have done that right away.”
“No worries, Pet. I’ll be fine now. Don’t fash yourself about it. Had enough on your mind what with the world endin’ and all. Then the sweet Dove gettin’ all injured… enough to occupy anyone.”
“I mean it Spike.” She was amazed at how well he had taken having his needs ignored. Maybe he wasn’t used to anyone caring when he was hurt? Well, Dru wasn’t exactly Nurse-Nancy material. “You’re part of the team. I won’t neglect you again OR take you for granted.”
She slid off the sarcophagus and headed towards the door. “Need me to put those in the fridge?”
“Think I’ll play the glutton and finish ‘em off. No reason to put ‘em away.”
Yeah, he had been starving.
“I’ll be back tomorrow with more. Um… if you change your mind about staying here let me know. I’m kind of worried about you being a sitting duck and us not knowing if you’re in danger. I could ask Xander to come and stay with you if you don’t want to move.”
Spike choked in horror. “Thought we were almost friendly at the ‘mo, Luv. No need to make nasty threats.”
Buffy smiled. “He’d behave, even be civil at least now after what you did. You sure?”
“Completely. Really I’ll be fine,” he shuddered at the thought.
Spike hoped she wouldn’t send droopy-boy anyway. He also hoped it would be Buffy to return the next day instead of one of her groupies. Her showin’ up, even a few weeks late, was enough to give a bloke a bit of hope.