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please, don't take my sunshine away

Summary:

taeyong remembers johnny, how can he ever forget the man who taught him how to love? the final memories with johnny are also crystal clear, but taeyong looks back at it as the end of a chapter. a memorable chapter taeyong can never forget.

Notes:

i like taeyong. i like johnny. so i wrote this.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

taeyong was in love — heck, he was terribly in love. there was nothing in the world that could make him happier than a certain korean-american, who went by the name of johnny suh. taeyong was ready to lose everything and anything for johnny and it was a very like case of vice versa.

 

johnny, too, adored taeyong and put taeyong before anyone. taeyong was such an important person to him — he made johnny feel emotions again. johnny didn't know he was capable of feeling love after his previous relationship, jaehyun and johnny ended mutually after finding out that jaehyun fell out in love.

 

taeyong told johnny it was okay, it was okay to love someone who doesn't love you anymore but in the process of healing johnny's heart, none of them noticed that taeyong had stolen johnny's heart and had kissed it better.

 

but their career options weren't compatible, at all. johnny was a super cute florist, had immense knowledge about every type of flower, treated flowers like they were his own children. he'd be such a great father, taeyong would always think when johnny would fondly smile over at his flowers at speak to them as if they would respond.

 

but taeyong was an agent, an undercover agent for a very famous intelligence company and taeyong was one of the most prestigious employees, so he was out on missions for about a long time. even if taeyong was the real gun guy, johnny wouldn't mind taking a bullet for his beloved.

 

and that's what he did that day.

 

it was their six years anniversary and taeyong had rented out a whole rooftop restaurant in paris to celebrate the wonderful occasion. taeyong couldn't believe that someone stood by his side for such a long time, so he decided to make it permanent. 

 

taeyong was planning to propose and officialize their relationship into a full commitment, and taeyong was almost sure that johnny would say yes because of the endless marriage talks they had in the past.

 

but taeyong was still very nervous to propose, it wasn't like he had proposed to someone earlier in his life so it was his first time. johnny was always holding taeyong's hand and reassuring taeyong that he was doing a great job when it came to taeyong doing something for the first time.

 

but of course, taeyong couldn't take johnny's help and hand this time. it was going to taeyong this time, holding johnny's hand and slipping the ring he had bought. it was wonderful evening, both the lovers dazing across the sky, their hands interlocked and love blooming in their hearts once again.

 

they finished their romantic dinner and thought it'd be nice to star gaze for a while because johnny loved doing so. johnny would look and admire the skies whereas taeyong would be looking at his star and admiring him.

 

a blush would creep up johnny's cheeks when he would catch taeyong staring at him like johnny was the only human on this entire world. "yongie, stop staring at me and look at the stars!" johnny complained as he added a bit of his cuteness to the situation with a pout. taeyong grinned and slowly nodded, "alright, but in turn, i want a kiss."

 

johnny's blush would redden more and more, but taeyong could sense it through the darkness. taeyong always managed to do this, even after six whole years. johnny quickly pecked taeyong's lips before taeyong could start teasing the big baby.

 

after a while, taeyong wanted to do it. he wanted to remove the velvety box from his pockets and quickly slip the ring onto johnny's finger and make him his forever. so, taeyong discreetly slipped his hand into his hand as johnny kept on rambling about some constellation he found pretty.

 

but instead of the velvet box, out slipped taeyong's phone, which he had kept silent for the past day. johnny had noticed due the loud thud of the phone dropping, and turned to taeyong with a confused expression. 

 

taeyong slightly panicked after johnny's eyes slid down taeyong's body and carefully scanned his pocket, the head of the velvet box peeking out. "taeyong—" johnny was then interrupted by taeyong's phone screen brightening up, indicating that he was getting a call.

 

taeyong picked it up without seeing who had called him, "hello? lee taeyong on the phone." and taeyong hears a very rushed sigh, and taeyong identifies the voice as sicheng, his colleague. "okay taeyong, you need to listen to me very carefully. i've called you numerous times and you finally picked up!"

 

"actually—" and taeyong gets interrupted once again and johnny seems to have had caught hold of something on taeyong's right. "there is this very infamous predator roaming around paris who works for enemy, so be very careful—"

 

and before sicheng could continue, johnny pushes taeyong down with his phone. confused at first, taeyong follows johnny's gaze and finds a masked man with a gun aiming at where taeyong previously stood.

 

taeyong saw the masked man run away as quick as possible and taeyong immediately turns to johnny, the taller's back facing taeyong. "johnny, i'm going to be right back," taeyong says and before he could get up, johnny collapses onto his knees and on the ground.

 

taeyong's eyes widen and he hurries to johnny, to just see his shirt drenched in blood. the bullet the man shot went right through johnny's chest. it was soon when taeyong bought johnny to his lap, tears flowing as if some fountain.

 

the blood was soaking into johnny's shirt rapidly and taeyong couldn't do anything but cry. after taking two years of health classes, he knew that this bullet was going to prove to be fatal and will take johnny's life in some ten minutes or so.

 

"johnny, n-no! don't die, please don't die, i-i love you so much—" taeyong choked out between his sobs, looking into johnny's glassy eyes and his heart breaking bit by bit. "i-i'm not dying, silly! i-i'm g-going t-to like f-forever w-with y-you!" johnny spoke as he kept coughing blood, but his loving smile never left.

 

"no, johnny! you won't be with me f-forever, where will you be, h-huh?" taeyong yells at his lover, trying to wipe of the blood that ran down johnny's chin. johnny weakly laughed, that same laugh taeyong fell in love with and wanted to see forever and ever.

 

johnny raised his arm and bought it closer to taeyong's chest, pointing at taeyong's heart. "t-there, i-i'm going to live there f-forever with you," tears started blurring taeyong's vision but he couldn't waste any second, he needed to see johnny. "j-johnny—"

 

johnny picked up the same hand and wiped away taeyong's unceasable tears, and gently smiled at taeyong again. "t-taeyong, y-you're my s-strong baby! you c-can live without m-me!" the enthusiasm and hope in johnny's voice almost stabbed taeyong, johnny cared for taeyong even during his own last breaths.

 

taeyong remembered, he remembered that he had a ring in his pocket that was waiting for him. with his trembling hand, he fished out the velvet and this time, it was johnny who started tearing up. "i-i wanted to do this today, make you mine forever and e-ever—" the tears managed to catch taeyong back, but johnny's hand around taeyong's encouraged him to go on.

 

"s-so, j-johnny se-seo, will you m-marry m-me?" and with that, taeyong broke down again as he forwarded his hand to slip the ring onto johnny's finger, without waiting for his answer. but johnny retracted his hand back, "p-patient, baby. gi-give this to someone after me, n-not to m-me. find s-someone b-better th-than m-me, o-okay? i k-know you will. "

 

taeyong hesitated but after seeing johnny's teary eyes, he obeyed and slid back the ring into his pocket with just pain clouding his heart. when taeyong returned his gaze on johnny, the said american had coughed up more blood than before.

 

"t-taeyong, i-i have a request," johnny uttered and taeyong quickly nodded his head, agreeing to whatever johnny had in mind. "c-can you p-please sing t-the so-song you used to sing to m-me wh-when we were kids?" johnny coughed up blood, "s-so a-at l-least i di-die w-with a s-smile on m-my face?"

 

taeyong's heart pained at johnny's request, but nonetheless, taeyong agreed to it. the day they both met till today, every memory was playing in johnny's head and he just wanted to die in his beloved's arms.

 

four year old taeyong came up to four year old johnny, inviting the other to play with him in the playground and when taeyong held johnny's hand that day, he never left his hand. when nineteen year old taeyong kissed nineteen year old johnny, he had never stopped since then. taeyong treated johnny like a rose, admired johnny and never left him even if the thorns pricked him.

 

"y-you are my sunshine, m-my only s-sunshine," taeyong started singing but his voice broke in between but he kept going on. taeyong closed his eyes and started singing again, "you make me happy when skies are grey,"

 

johnny had fallen in love once again and for the last time, his heartbeats started slowing down but his love for taeyong stayed strong. "you never know, dear, how much i l-love you," taeyong continued singing with his eyes closed, tears never seeming to stop and just flowed.

 

"p-please, d-don't take my sunshine awa-away," and with that, taeyong opened his eyes to find johnny's closed, for forever and ever, but his lovely smile still on his face. taeyong felt johnny's pulse and his entire world stopped, the love of his life died in his arms, the love of his life whom he imagined his entire future with.

 

it seemed like taeyong's own soul was ripped out of his body, he couldn't think anymore or comprehend anything anymore. his memories carried him to the first time johnny told him the three words.

 

the shy timid nineteen year old johnny who stood at taeyong's doorstep with that rose in his hand, that shy timid johnny was now on taeyong's lap, his heart not beating anymore. the shy lonely four year old johnny who played with taeyong with that smile of his, that shy lonely johnny was now dead, forever.

 

no more kisses from his soft lips, no more hugs from his warm frame, no more cuddles from the big baby, no more love from his heart. taeyong was left alone, once again and there was no one to tell him that it will be alright.

 


 

taeyong was happy to say the least, he was filled with the emotion of euphoria and love when he set his eyes upon the individual. but this time, it wasn't johnny making him smile. it was another lovely and beautiful boy, named ten.

 

taeyong found someone else for himself, after two long years of convincing himself to move on, he found ten and taeyong couldn't regret even a bit. and four years later, taeyong found himself with the same ring in his hand, the same anxiety, the same nervousness, the same fear of rejection he felt four years ago.

 

this time, taeyong was extra careful with his planning. ten wasn't a very sophisticated character, he was a simple veterinarian with simple dreams but an extravagant love for animals. taeyong softly smiled to himself with he saw ten's smile around animals.

 

it reminded him of someone.

 

but that wasn't taeyong's plan, he didn't want to date a man thinking and making himself believe that the other was johnny, he wanted to love again and love ten as ten himself. taeyong treated ten even better than johnny, in hopes of thinking that johnny was looking over at him and feeling proud that taeyong found himself someone better than him.

 

taeyong felt the same love for ten and the younger reciprocated dearly and taeyong didn't want to waste any time and lose him too. taeyong remembered clearly when he narrated johnny's story to ten, the thai cried more than taeyong himself and bombarded taeyong with questions like, "do you think johnny would have liked me?" and as such.

 

but ten always assured taeyong that he never felt like he was the second option and wanted to love taeyong even more than johnny, but the baby thought he couldn't love taeyong as much as johnny and cried to once and apologized for not loving him enough.

 

and that's the day taeyong knew he had to marry ten, he knew that ten was the one for him. so, taeyong now stood in front of the mirror, waiting for the younger to come back from his work. taeyong removed the ring from the box, and looked at it and it had the same shine like it had when taeyong first removed it for johnny.

 

or maybe his current teary vision made it look shiny, but whatever, it didn't matter. taeyong looked at the ring again after wiping away his tears and it immediately reminded him johnny. it reminded him about johnny's smile, his laugh, his lips, his eyes, his everything.

 

it wasn't going to be like that, not going to happen. taeyong placed down the ring on the dressing table and rushed outside his and ten's shared apartment, and drove to get another ring for ten.

 

taeyong had another hour till ten returned so he wasn't panicking much, so he calmly picked another elegant yet expensive ring which reminded him of ten and not johnny. he didn't want to give ten something that reminds him of johnny, he didn't want to treat ten like that.

 

so he returned home with this another ring and soon, ten arrived with this huge smile on his face and ranted for a whole hour about this friend he made at the clinic, which is a cat by the way and how the owner didn't have a name for it so ten recommend the name 'yongie' for the cute cat and the owner agreed.

 

ten then proceeded to show taeyong pictures of the cat and taeyong really didn't care about the cat, but he just loved ten's smile so much that he continued adding in comments about the cat. "hey, why did you name the cat yongie? you should've named it tennie because the cat is just as cute as my baby!"

 

the night went on like that, and taeyong proposed at exact midnight, because it was then their fourth year anniversary. ten cried and cried but he said yes, and this time, taeyong actually slipped the ring onto his beloved's finger.

 

they spent rest of the night in each other's arms, both being way too happy and excited to fall asleep. they were watching the notebook, even though both of them hated the film, they just needed a romantic setting for them to love each other.

 

and after the credits were rolling, taeyong got a lovely idea and excused himself to their room. he went to the dresser and rummaged the drawers to find a plain chain the belonged to ten, and once he did find a silver one, he opened the velvet box which had johnny's ring in it and slid the ring onto the chain and clasped it.

 

he brings the chain with the ring hanging onto the silver to ten and ten just stares at it, bewildered. but, he lets taeyong put the chain around him and once the ring lays on ten's neck, he realizes the importance of the ring.

 

his eyes tear up, and he looks at taeyong and attacks the older with a hug. "thank you so much for this, i feel honored," ten cries into taeyong's neck, and the older rubs the younger's back while muttering phrases of love and admiration.

 

and that day, taeyong could feel johnny smiling at him with that same smile as johnny looked down at the couple from the skies. thank you, youngho, for making me into a man who is blessed with such a gem.

 

thank you for loving me till the end, youngho.

Notes:

yoo hmu on twitter