Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Tony receives the invitation, he stares at the envelope a long time before opening it. Of course he knew it was coming. Steve had stopped by and told him the news himself so he wouldn’t find out any other way. Maybe it would have been kinder if he brought it with him then, but they hadn’t been ready yet. Steve had literally told him as soon as possible that this year was the year. Finally.

He had told Tony that it was alright if he couldn’t make it. It would be okay. No one would judge him for it. Well the last one was certainly a lie and they both knew it. While it was true that their friends wouldn’t, everyone else would. Then again they do that now. And talk. It’s been the same thing these last two - going on three - years. As soon as autumn comes the gossip picks back up again as if they have nothing else better to talk about. 

Hell, when he told Steve where to stick that, the stubborn idiot then asked if he wanted to be his best man instead. Right. While sweet, that is a terrible idea for a number of reasons. The first one being is that he is intimately aware of who he would be replacing. That - yeah, no. Terrible idea. Not to mention that they aren’t all that close anymore. Steve had been too big of a reminder for Tony, so he had distanced himself a bit. Not all the way because they shared a friend group now. And no one would let him isolate himself completely. But he did enough. 

Not that it helped. Not that anything truly helped those first few months. Year if he is being honest. If he is being even more honest than he still isn’t over it yet. Will likely never be over it. But then again that’s what happens when your high school sweetheart leaves you at the altar. Their wedding should have been the end of a cheesy romcom - everyone loved to tease them about it - but instead it was the beginning of a nightmare. One that is still haunting him. 

Dummy gives a soft woof, startling him out of his thoughts. He looks down to see that his hands are shaking. Well. How about that. Dummy whines and bumps his head against Tony’s arm. Carelessly he throws the invitation onto the kitchen table and buries his hands into Dummy’s fur. 

Dummy woofs again and leans against him. Of course, Dummy being the hundred and twenty pound dog that he is, knocks Tony right over. Fortunately Tony’s hold means he lands on his butt and not his face. Dummy naturally takes this as permission to try and climb into Tony’s lap. 

“Dummy!” Tony shouts, “No! Off! What have I told you about doing that hmm? You aren’t a puppy anymore, you have to watch. One of these days you’re going to give me a concussion or squash my lungs and then who is going to take care of you?” 

Dummy whines, trying to make himself look as pitiful as possible. Which, you know, is quite a bit considering he has literal puppy dog eyes. 

Tony sighs, but scratches behind his ears. “What a dummy you are Dummy.” It comes out far too fond. 

Dummy wags his tail and drops his head into Tony’s lap. 

Tony stays like that for a long time, petting him. When he finally gets back up his butt and legs are asleep. He uses the table as support as he stretches. Slowly the pins and needles come as he grimaces at them, before going away again. 

“It’s supper time for you,” he says and goes over to the counter to fill up his food bowl and get fresh water. 

While Dummy is eating Tony makes himself a sandwich. Truthfully he isn’t hungry, but he knows from experience that he needs to eat. Already he is starting to feel shaky. It will only get worse if he doesn’t. 

He catches sight of the still unopened envelope sitting innocently on the table. Unpleasantly his stomach turns at the sight. This is ridiculous. He shouldn’t be having this bad of a reaction. This was inevitable. It would have happened one way or another. Steve and Peggy were always going to get married eventually. Just because he and Bucky didn’t work out is no reason for those two to put their lives on hold. They did that enough already. 

Steeling himself, he opens the top with his fingers and pulls it out. It is exactly what he thought it would be like - tasteful autumn colors, Steve’s artwork, name, date and time. His stomach twists when he sees that they pushed it back a day. Originally it was supposed to be November first, just like theirs. Hell they had come close to having a double wedding before realizing just how insane the planning would be. Even Steve looked overwhelmed and it was his idea to begin with. 

Instead they decided to have their weddings a year apart. All Saints Day because Steve can be very Irish when he wants to be. Now it will be All Soul’s Day, which works just as well if you care about that kind of thing. Which he doesn’t. Just because the town is more Irish than not doesn’t mean Tony has to care. He’s Italian after all. They have their own beliefs and superstitions. Which, you know, Tony is also bad at following. 

A smile sneaks onto his face as he imagines what this is going to turn into. With Steve’s Irish side and Peggy’s Italian side it is going to be crazy. This may finally be the day she regrets Angie’s family all but adopting her. Tony loves his cousin - and her family - but wow are they a lot when they all gather. Not that the Carbonells are any better. Tony has no room to talk there. Still. 

The smile vanishes when he sees a sticky note on the back.

Tony,

I know you yelled at me before, but if this gets to be too much you don’t have to come. We won’t let anyone trash you for it. 

Steve

Tony scowls as he crumbles it up. He ought to give Steve a piece of his mind for writing that. He is going. He is . He isn’t going to let something so mundane as heartbreak stop him. Steve is just trying to be kind, but he wishes that he  would stop. Tony isn’t going to miss it, not for the world. So what if this is breaking his heart again? It’s already broken. How much worse can it get? The question is rhetorical, even to himself, because he knows that answer to that already. It can always get worse. 

But he is going, not just for Steve or Peggy, but Bucky. If he can’t be there to see his best friend’s wedding than Tony will. He owes him that much. Not that everyone would agree with him, but when has he ever listened to other people anyways? 

Still scowling he forces himself to finish his sandwich. It tastes like ash in his mouth. Tonight is obviously going to be one of those nights then. He can’t say that he’s surprised. After all this time he is familiar enough with them. He hadn’t  taken the time to change out of his clothes before so when he’s finished he goes straight back down to the shop. 

Dummy follows, as always, tromping down right behind him. The noise helps settle Tony some, the familiarity of it by now, although not enough. He lays down on the rug, bone between his paws, well entertained now as Tony gets to work. Since the shop is already closed he turns the music up as he surveys his choices. There is nothing complicated that needs his attention so he begins with a transmission replacement. 

If you had asked Tony what he saw himself doing in the future, running Stan’s Auto Repair would not be it. Not because he didn’t know how, he had been messing with cars ever since he was little, but because he had bigger dreams. Grander plans. Tony had never been planning to stay here, in his hometown, for long. Bucky had been the one who stayed. Tony went off to college. He had graduated with his Masters by the time he returned. By then Bucky was officially in charge of Stan’s, running it like it was his own. 

Tony had been so happy - so proud- for him, even if it did tie him down to Hollow Creek. They had been talking about what they would do. Tony didn’t want to force Bucky to give it up and Bucky hadn’t wanted to chain Tony here. They had still been talking - arguing - about it when he disappeared. After that Tony couldn’t bear to leave, no matter how heartbroken he was. So he stayed and took over Stan’s and lived in the apartment above. He had been practically living there anyways, before. It had been a second home for him. 

He tries to lose himself in the work - the music - but it doesn’t work. Now that he’s begun, he can’t seem to stop the memories. He remembers how happy he had been. Part of him had been amazed that they made it this far. That they were actually getting married. How many sweethearts could say that? How many managed to be sweethearts at all? When he left for college he had been terrified that this would be it. He would lose Bucky somehow - the distance would be too much, they would grow apart, someone else would come between them, something . But no, that hadn’t happened. They were going to get their happily ever after. 

But then Tony’s fairy tale turned out to be authored by the Grimm Brothers instead. They had spent the night apart, as per  tradition Tony didn’t care about, and in the morning Bucky had been gone. Not ran away. Not killed. Just - gone. Vanished. He disappeared without a trace and hasn’t been seen since. There had been no clues, no hints, no signs or leads or anything. It is as if he vanished into thin air. 

Naturally, people had their own theories about what happened. They always do. Some are more outlandish than others, but that’s to be expected too. But there is one that has stuck. One whisper that just won’t die and probably never will. Not with the superstitions of the town. Not with the night he disappeared on. Not with the terrible storm they had that night. It had all the components for the perfect story. Not a fairy tale, but faery. 

They say he had been taken. 

Now Tony isn’t superstitious. He never has been. Howard, when he was alive, never put up with any of that ‘nonsense’. Ironic considering that he was just as Irish as the rest of the town. But he had always scoffed at the old beliefs. A waste of time, he had always grumbled, and a sign of little intelligence. The disdain was hard to escape. And his mom, Maria, was Italian, which comes with different superstitions - religion - tomayto, tomahto and all that. 

It’s hard not to pick some of it up, though, growing up around here. Oh no one talks about it outright, but the very ground is soaked in lore. It is impossible to escape, no matter how sensible or logical you are otherwise. Folks say that when the Irish came over to settle they didn’t just bring their culture and their stories with them. They brought the fae themselves. They opened to door to allow the old world into the new world. Others scoff and say they were always here - it is the Irish that followed them, not the other way around. 

Does the how really matter if they are already here? 

Tony just rolls his eyes and ignored the arguments. Who believes in faeries anymore anyways? Stupid question because he lives in a town of believers. Hell, Steve is one of them. It may not be obvious at first, but he is. It shows up in the small things like the horseshoe on his front door or the way he refuses to even look at the woods for too long. 

Then again he isn’t alone in the last one. People as a general rule tend to avoid the woods whenever they can. Oh sure there’s always the kids that dare each other to go in - like it’s a haunted house or a cemetery or something - but they never go in too far. Not enough to lose sight of the others. Not enough to get lost - or taken. And they always have iron on them. 

Honestly Tony isn’t sure what to believe - maybe Bucky was taken. Not by the faeries, of course, but all kinds of things can happen on Halloween. It’s a big thing in their town, starting with the week before and going through All Soul’s Day, for the more religiously inclined. Seven whole days of fall, fun and food. 

There are all kinds of stories and things that go around then. Maybe something happened to Bucky then. Easy enough to throw off suspicion. Maybe Bucky is - 

But no. Tony can’t think that, even now. He has to believe that Bucky is still alive out there somewhere. Not that it’s a pleasant thought, the idea of him running away. That he felt the need to escape so completely that he cut everyone out of his life, not just Tony. His friends. His family. Everyone. It always makes his throat tighten and eyes burn so he does his best not to. It doesn’t do any good. It never has. 

Howard would be disgusted with him if he could see him now. He didn’t raise a ‘sissy boy who couldn’t take it like a man’. Stark men are made of iron. Then again Howard has been dead for years now, along with his mom. They died when Tony was still in college because Howard had been drunk driving. Again. And before that he had been a mean old bastard. Nothing Tony ever did was good enough for him, including the person he dated. So who cares? Certainly not Tony. He’s not even lying - not much anyways. 

He realizes that he has stopped working, braced against the front of the car, when Dummy comes over and bumps his leg. Fortunately Tony doesn’t fall this time, thanks partly to said car. Even with Tony automatically bracing himself now, Dummy will still knock him over about once a week. He hasn’t lost the puppy clumsiness, even if he isn’t a puppy anymore. Not by any stretch of the definition. Definitely not by size for sure. 

Damn why can’t he hold it together today? Instead of pretending everything is alright and getting back to work he slides down to the ground. Dummy is on him in an instant of course. Dumb clumsy thing, he still isn’t a lap dog. He uses his weight to help ground him. With no one around to see him but his dog he lets his emotions show.His head thuds against the car and he leans back, emotions overwhelming him. He has been wearing a mask for so long now. Ever since that day he has been wearing one. It helps keep everyone from worrying too much. 

Not everything has to be hidden. It’s no secret that this has devastated him. That’s only to be expected really. Who wouldn’t be after something like this? They fully expect him to mourn, which he does easily. But they have no idea how bad it truly is. How low he has sunk. Just how close he came to ending things. They don’t know the hell Tony went through because he didn’t want them to. 

He wasn’t the only one who lost Bucky. Steve had been just as devastated. He and Bucky were brothers in all but name. Childhood best friends. They grew up in each others' pockets. Tony and Bucky had started dating their junior year of high school, although they had been friendly before then. It comes with going to school with the same kids all twelve years - by the end you either hate them or love them. Steve and Bucky had been a matching pair as far back as kindergarten. They both lost someone important that day. 

Everyone had treated Tony like a widower after that and he hated it. Hated it. They never married, never made it that far. Never got their happy ending. Yet that is how people saw him regardless. Between that, the rumours and his own grief he retreated into himself. He distanced himself and put on a mask so that they wouldn’t realize it. Everything hurt too much. Stan’s became a refuge, the last thing of Bucky he had to hold onto. He took over and never left. 

Honestly he doesn’t know what he would do if he didn’t have Dummy. He is the only one who knows how bad it is. Slowly he is beginning to heal, but not quickly enough. There is still so much pain and grief in him. Dummy is the one who helped him hold on. Who would look after him if Tony was gone? And he’s just so damn affectionate. He may be a little touch starved, but Dummy gladly - and enthusiastically - tries to fix that. 

Tony adopted him the day of the wedding that never was. Or Dummy adopted him rather. Tony had been wandering around aimlessly, blind to the world around him, when he heard a whimper. Looking around he saw a pile of black fur in the leaves. When he got closer he saw it was a puppy with an injured foot. Well Tony may have been numb to the world, detached and apathetic, but even he couldn’t walk away. 

Careless of the suit he wore - what did he need it for now? - he had gathered the puppy into his arms and took him home. The rest, as they say, is history. No one came forward to claim him. And it became abundantly clear just how attached the puppy had become to Tony. He kept it. If only he had known what a monster he would grow to be. Apparently you can tell by the paws, but Tony feels distinctly cheated because Dummy’s paws lied to him. They only grew bigger with him. 

Nor was Dummy supposed to be his name. It’s the one that ended up sticking though. Tony had been forever rescuing him from himself even after his paw healed. The little dummy didn’t know how to be careful. Or his right paw from his left. Such a dummy - thus the name. To give him credit, he did try to rename him after he realized he was keeping him. It never stuck though. A dummy he was and a dummy he would stay. 

Once he feels as if he isn’t going to fall apart he gets up and closes the hood. Clearly he isn’t going to be getting anymore work done tonight. Dummy whines, wagging his tail in excitement. 

“Yes, yes,” Tony sighs as he stretches, “we are going out.” 

Dummy barks happily. Clumsy and stubborn he may be, but stupid he is not. He knows what out means. His tail speeds up to a lethal weapon as Tony clips on his leash and opens the door. The only saving grace is that he knows better than to take off. Tony would never be able to stop him then. 

It is dark when they exit, with the street lights illuminating their way. It must be later than he thought because there are only a few cars on the road and most businesses are closed for the night. Midnight is the unofficial curfew around here. No one enforces it, but most people obey it. The town takes on a creepy feeling after that. Abandoned. Almost as if there is something out there. Watching. Waiting. 

But with Dummy there isn’t much Tony has to worry about. No one is going to mess with a dog that looks like a small pony. He reaches Tony’s hip easily. Add to that his long, black fur and he looks something out of a myth. All that is missing are the blood red eyes. It’s a laughable thought because while Dummy can be protective, vicious or bloodthirsty is not something he could ever be. He’s too lovable for that. 

They don’t go far tonight, staying close to the building. He lets Dummy set the pace as he sniffs everything interesting he finds. Clearly if there is something out there it isn’t a threat to Tony. Dummy would let him know if it were. 

When they go back Tony locks up and heads upstairs. Before he heads for bed he goes into the kitchen to pour a bowl of milk to leave on the counter. It’s not superstition, it’s common sense. It’s important to practice good manners. Or that would be what he would tell anyone if they knew he did this, at least. 

That done he gets ready for bed. Hopefully tonight the nightmares won’t follow him, but he isn’t too optimistic. Not with the way his thoughts have been. He knew it would be bad, but he didn’t think it would be like this. He should have known better. That’s the way his life works. Dummy jumps up as soon as he is settled. Of course he takes up most of the bed, using Tony as a pillow. It is another thing he is used to by now. Dummy never really leaves his side, no matter what. 

Sighing he closes his eyes and wishes for a good night's sleep. Dummy brushes his cold nose against Tony’s cheek and he buries a hand into his fur. It’s soft beneath his fingers. Comforting. 

Slowly he falls asleep, visions of a figure in front of him, always dancing just out of reach. 

:::

“Hey boss man,” Darcy greets as she walks through the door. 

Tony raises his head out of the car he is working on to smile at her. “Fitzwilliam,” he calls back. Immediately he notices the coffee and box in her hands. 

She walks over and gives him a cup. “Here you go.” 

“I knew I loved you for a reason.” Gratefully he takes a gulp. It’s too hot, but he doesn’t care. He’s long developed the skill of drinking too hot coffee. Most of the time he desperately needs it - and not just for his addiction either. Sleeping sucks. 

Darcy waves the box under his nose. “Get them while they’re still  fresh,” she teases and then walks away with them. 

“And still here,” he grumbles as he takes another sip. 

“You ingest any more motor oil and you’re going to start running on it,” Darcy calls from her desk. 

Tony rolls his eyes, but takes the hint. He wipes his hands off and goes over. Dummy is already there, soaking up every bit of attention that Darcy is giving him. He huffs as he watches the desk sway under the force of his tail. It’s a good thing that it’s sturdy. 

“Sure, go ahead and play it up. Someone has to think you’re cute around here.” 

“Don’t listen to him Dummy, you’re still the cutest boy around here,” she coos, “Yes you are.” 

He snorts at that. She’s not the one who sleeps with him after all. He flips the lid open and is instantly suspicious. Inside are all of his favorites - even the ones he has to special order if he wants any hope of getting some before they’re gone. There is an iced cinnabun that is Darcy’s, but the rest are everything he loves. Now he knows something is going on. Coffee is one thing. This is quite another. “What is it?” 

Darcy looks at him innocently. “Can’t I get donuts for my favorite boss?” 

Tony snorts, knowing better than to believe that look. “Last I checked I was your only boss. Try the other.” 

“I’m a terrible enabler who loves to feed your sweet tooth,” she tries next, still far too innocently. 

“You are,” he nods because it’s true. She does have a habit of bringing in sweets for the both of them, “but I know that you have to preorder the caramel mocha cream sticks from Volstagg because he sells out in five minutes or less. This is not what subtey looks like - spill.” 

“Like you’re any better,” she snorts. 

Also true, but also not the point. He stares her down. 

Finally she sighs. “I got the wedding invitation yesterday.” 

Tony echoes her sigh and leans against the desk. He should have expected this too. It’s only natural that Darcy would be worried about him. She isn’t going to be the only one. All of their friends are sure to be insufferable about this. 

“It’s fine,” he assures her, “Steve already talked to me about it before they were even sent out.” 

She doesn’t look reassured in the least. “Doesn’t mean you like hearing it.” 

He shrugs. “Had to happen some time didn’t it? I’m happy they’re finally moving on. Steve lost Bucky too, but you don’t see anyone making a fuss over him.” He tries not to sound too annoyed with that, but it’s the truth. Everyone seems so focused on Tony that they forget about Steve. 

“Trust me whizz kid,” she drawls, “Steve gets it too. Between Pegs, Sam and Nat they have him fully covered.” 

“So you get stuck with Tony wrangling instead.” He’s proud that that doesn’t come out as bitter as it feels in his head. Today is not going to be a good day either, obviously. Then again that was obvious even before Darcy got here, so he shouldn’t be surprised. Not that he is, but it would be nice to be proven wrong for a change. He’s so tired of being the weak link in the group. 

Darcy fixes him with a fierce glare. “None of that Stark,” she says, hands on her hips, “I know how you geniuses work. You get so caught up in your own head that you forget the rest of the world exists - and cares. Well I’m here to tell you I practically had to beat the others off with a stick this morning. Volstagg already had these made and waiting when I went by. Everyone else was hovering around like they didn’t have jobs to go to. You are one of us, not a chore and it’s high time you remembered that.” 

“Yes ma’am,” Tony salutes her, mouth on autopilot. The force of her statement takes him back. That... wow, those are some strong emotions right there. Apparently they’ve been more worried than he realized which is... well. “How is Jane then?” 

“She’s good. Busy. You know how crazy it gets working on your Masters.” 

Tony nods, remembering well. He barely slept those two years. Not that that is any different from usual, but at least the cause was different. The stereotype of the overworked and stressed out student is a very real thing. 

“Don’t think you can change the subject.” She points a finger at him.

He raises his hands in surrender. “Never Dar-dar. I know better than to mess with you.” 

“Damn straight!” she smiles proudly, “Darcy Lewis is a force to be reckoned with!” 

“I don’t think anyone will forget any too soon,” he nods seriously, desperately trying to hold in his laughter. Everyone knows not to mess with Darcy - not after the memorable taser incident. It has become town legend by now. Generations will go by and still they will tell the story. There are just things that no one forgets. 

It probably doesn’t help that he upgraded her taser too. It was good before, but now it really packs a punch. Oh well. Darcy was thrilled - everyone else not so much. 

“They better not. I love striking fear into the hearts of all that oppose me.” 

And that is what tips him over - Tony barks out a laugh, not able to hold it in any longer. Once he gets started, he can’t seem to stop. The desk digs into his thigh as he laughs, the only thing holding him up. It gets so bad that be begins to cry. Not that the joke is that funny, but he is at that point where he was either going to laugh or cry - laughter is clearly winning. His sides ache by the time he is able to get himself under control. 

“You are a terrible person,” he gasps, voice breathless.

Darcy smiles, far too pleased with herself. “Awesome person you mean. I am clearly an awesome person with a great and terrible power.” 

“Clearly,” he agrees dryly, still smiling. 

“You best remember that too.” She beams at him, head held high. 

This is why Darcy is one of Tony’s favorite people. She’s always had a knack for cheering him up, even when he doesn’t want to be. She’s a lot like Angie in that respect. They don’t demand anything from him - or nothing he isn’t able to give. 

“Are you going then?” She reaches for her donut, not looking at him as she asks. 

His good mood evaporates at that. “Yes,” he says. That’s all he says because if he says anything else it isn’t going to be pretty. 

But Darcy just nods easily, accepting his answer without argument or question. “You want a date to go with you? Because I totally will if you want.” 

“Somehow I don’t think Angie will appreciate that very much.” The offer is touching though. It’s something he has been putting off thinking about. It’s hard enough to process everything else, let alone the thought of a possible plus one. Just the idea of going alone makes him sick to his stomach. Not that having a date is much better - not that it would be a literal date. Tony is in no headspace to even contemplate something like that. 

“She won’t mind,” Darcy waves off, frosting covering her fingers, “she is going to be busy with Peggy all day anyways. This way we can entertain each other.” 

Tony swallows down his initial refusal and nausea to actually consider it. She does have a point and it would work for Tony too. He will need to ask someone who won’t get the wrong impression and isn’t in the - wait a second. He frowns. “Aren’t you supposed to be a bridesmaid?” 

The innocent look is back. “Not if I don’t need to be.” 

“Angie would murder me. And Peggy would help her hide my body. I’m not taking you out of the wedding just so I have someone to sit next to. Don’t you already have a dress? And they’d have to adjust Steve’s party too if they couldn’t find a replacement.” 

“Not like it would be the first time,” she shrugs. 

It’s said so casually that it almost doesn’t hurt. Almost being the key word. He was supposed to be in it, originally - both Tony and Bucky. Bucky was going to be Steve’s best man. Now that job falls to Sam and Tony is going to be a spectator only. It’s something of a relief and regret all at once. 

“Plus Jane can take my place,” she continues, “Thor is hardly going to mind. She is going to be here for the weekend to see it so it won’t even interrupt her schedule. Win, win.” 

So Thor is his replacement then. That aches, but for a completely different reason altogether. He shakes his head. “Thanks Fitzwilliam, but I’ll find someone else. I don’t fancy dying over this.” Maybe he can even steal Jane for himself, if it comes down to it. She won’t mind. 

“Alright then, if you’re sure. But seriously, if you change your mind I will totally do it - and defend your honor too.” 

Tony flutters his eyelashes. “My hero,” he pretends to swoon, “What would I ever do without you?” 

Dummy snorts, obviously tired of being ignored. He gets up and goes over to Tony to beg for some attention. Pitiful. 

“You could always take Dummy.” 

Dummy barks at the sound of his name. 

Tony reaches down and scratches behind his ears. “There’s always that.” Too bad that isn’t actually an option or Tony might be tempted to do it, no matter how pathetic that made him. Man’s best friend is a dog after all. 

The thought sticks with him though. A date. Who should he ask to be his plus one? Does he even want a plus one? Who would be the least painful person to ask? There may seem like there are numerous options, but in reality there are far less. Maybe he should suck it up and go alone. This is going to be bad no matter what. Maybe a plus one will just make it worse. 

The answer comes to him the next time he talks to Rhodey. 

“Honeybear,” he greets as he answers his phone, grinning automatically, “how are you doing?” 

“Good Tones, you? Been keeping out of trouble?” He sounds good, but then he always does. Definitely better rested than either of them ever were when they dormed together. 

It makes Tony’s smile grow even wider. “Of course I have. What do you take me for?” 

“A trouble magnet,” Rhodey answers instantly. 

“Hey,” he protests, “I resent that statement.” 

“You mean you resemble it.” 

Tony shakes his head sadly. “Everyone’s a critic these days I tell you.” 

Dummy whines where he is sitting at Tony’s feet. 

Tony curls further into the corner of the couch, having already kicked him off once. His stomach - and everything else for that matter - can’t take anymore tonight. 

“Alright drama queen, get on with it.” Rhodey is definitely rolling his eyes, it’s audible ever through the phone, “Are your nightmares picking up again or what?” 

“What makes you think it’s anything?” he avoids the question, cursing in his head. 

It doesn’t work, but then it was a small hope that it would. “Because you are using that tone of voice to talk -” 

“Which tone of -”

“The one that says you’re perfectly fine and dandy -”

“Dandy? Who uses dandy anymore? Just because it’s the saying doesn’t mean -”

“when you aren’t,” Rhodey continues over him, “You oversell the cheer too much so don’t try to deny it.” 

Damn. And here Tony thought he was doing so well. Obviously not then. He fights to keep his voice steady and casual as he says, “Steve and Peggy are going to get married this year finally - November second. I got the invitation last week.” 

Rhodey swears into the phone. “Which of course is bringing everything back. They couldn’t have left you out of it? Or moved the day?” 

“Oh don’t start,” Tony snaps, “Steve is my friend and Peggy is basically family, how are they going to cut me out? And all of our friends too? It would be worse if they ignored the elephant in the room.” Just because he wishes they would stop poking it doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate them not tip toeing around it, “And they did move it back a day.” 

“One whole day,” Rhodey snorts. 

Now it is Tony’s turn to roll his eyes. Yeah Rhodey definitely developed some protective tendencies in college. Personally he thinks they can be a bit overprotective, but what does he know? He’s only the person they’re centered on. “Down mama bear, this was all going to happen eventually. The anniversary is going to be the anniversary no matter what goes on around it.” 

Rhodey sighs. “Sorry Tones, I just -” 

Tony cuts him off, well aware of what he is going to say. “I know Rhodey, I know. You're my knight in shining armour whether I need it or not.”

“Oh you need it, you just don’t want to admit it.” 

“Rude,” Tony resists the urge to stick his tongue out at him. Mainly because he won’t see it. 

Rhodey laughs. “Whatever you say,” he pauses, “There anything you need?” 

That’s when it comes to him - the perfect solution. Never mind that it is a terrible idea, it would work, “Do you think -” But then he cuts himself off because he remembers just how terrible of an idea it is. “Never mind.” 

“Oh no,” Rhodey denies, “now you have to say it. Out with it,” he urges when Tony doesn’t answer right away, “Start what you finished, come on, don’t leave me hanging like this.” 

“Wouldyoubemyplusonetothewedding?” he blurts out as quick as he can.

“Slow down and repeat that.” 

Tony takes a deep breath. “Would you be my plus one to the wedding. Not date, obviously, we’d be going as just friends,” he adds quickly, “I know, I know you haven’t dated since Carol and you wouldn’t want to be my actual date anyways. But I can’t go alone and Darcy already offered, but Darcy is in the wedding and everyone else is -” 

“Yes,” Rhodey interrupts his rambling. 

Tony blinks, not actually expecting that. “Yes?” 

“Yes I’ll be your plus one,” Rhodey confirms, “That’s fine, I can get off work easily enough. You’ll have the most dashing date there.” 

Tony laughs at that. Oh they’ll be the talk of the town alright, just not for their looks. Which is a shame because Rhodey is quite handsome. Tony will never deny that even if he’ll never mention it either. “You are the best platypus. The absolute best . Hey if you want you can come early for the autumn fest. It’s not much, but it’s the most exciting thing that happens around here.” 

“The Halloween thing you always used to talk about?” 

“Yeah, although we drag it out till the second to catch all the Catholic parts too.” That makes him pause. Are Steve and Peggy going full Catholic with this to include a Mass or is it just the wedding ceremony itself? On the one hand, it’s hard to imagine not with all the family coming, but they aren’t exactly traditionalists either. He’ll have to ask. 

“Because the Catholics have to make it their holiday somehow.” 

Tony snorts in laughter at that. Unexpected, but so terribly true. Technically speaking it’s all of Christianity that has a habit of stealing pagan holidays for their own, but it can’t actually be stealing because stealing is wrong. It’s ‘saving those poor ignorant souls’ instead, whether they want to be saved or not. Yeah, Tony has thoughts about this that are best left unsaid. “Don’t say that too loud, the little old ladies will come after you with their purses.” They are lethal - the purses and the women wielding them. 

“Speaking from experience Tones?” he teases. 

“Shut up sour patch,” Tony says. Which means yes although he’ll never admit it.

“Sure, that’s a convincing argument alright. Am I going to be saving you from the little old ladies when I get there?” He sounds far too amused right now. 

Tony can just picture his expression now. The crinkles around his eyes when he smiles, his white teeth flashing, the happiness that is practically radiating from him. It is one of his favorite looks, although he definitely shouldn’t have one, let alone think about it like that. But he does, because he is a terrible, terrible person like that. “I hate you,” he grumbles before his pause can become noticeable. 

“You love me,” Rhodey corrects far too easily. 

It makes something in Tony ache that shouldn’t. “Sure thing pudding pop. Whatever you need to tell yourself to get through the day.” 

“Drama queen,” he repeats, “text me the details so I can book my flight. Anything special I need to bring?” 

“Just your beautiful self,” Tony reassures. The more he thinks about this, the more excited he gets. He can feel the smile begin to stretch across his face. They haven’t seen each other since they graduated. Sure, Tony had meant to visit, or invite Rhodey here, but, well, things fell apart and he hasn’t left Hollow Creek since. This - this is going to be good. Maybe with Rhodey around he won’t end up falling apart completely. 

“And you can finally meet Dummy. And - and the festival is really the standard small town thing, but there is some great food here. We can eat and get fat and just wait till you meet everyone. They’ll love you, I just know it.” Yeah now that he is really thinking about it, he couldn’t believe he didn’t before. Having Rhodey here, it’ll be - good. 

“Practice for Thanksgiving? Sounds great - even meeting the beast.” Rhodey’s smile is still audible as he teases. 

Tony pouts even if it can’t be seen. Dummy is not a beast - he’s just, well, um. Okay, so maybe the name isn’t completely inaccurate. Especially after all the stories he’s told. Still Dummy is his beast. “Great. I’ll text you then.” 

“Cool. Now tell me there are some new stories from the shop. I never knew being a mechanic was such a wild job until you started.” 

Tony grins wider, uncurling himself from the corner and stretching out to sprawl across the cushions. Dummy’s head comes up to rest on his leg and he scratches behind his ear absently. This he can do. “You’ll never believe what problem Mrs Ridgeway’s car had. When she brought it in, it actually...” 

Soon enough he has Rhodey howling with laughter. Yeah this is the best terrible idea he’s had in years. 

Chapter Text

“Honeybear!” Tony shouts as soon as he spots Rhodey through the crowd. He waves wildly, arm almost hitting someone, to get his attention, “Over here!” He is positively brimming with excitement right now. And nerves. And everything else. His stomach is one big knot of emotions. 

“Tones,” Rhodey smiles brightly as he makes his way over. His luggage trails behind him. Fortunately the airport isn’t too busy, not like it would be at Thanksgiving or Christmas. It doesn’t take him long to reach Tony. 

They hug as soon as they are close enough. Tony basically throws himself into Rhodey’s arms, trusting him to catch him. He does, picking him up and spinning him around easily. Tony starts giggling, unable to help himself. His emotions are all over the place. This feels like a bigger thing than it should be. Like it means something more that it actually does. 

“Look at you,” Rhodey says when he puts Tony down, “did you actually manage to grow some more?” His tone is bright and teasing. 

“Shut up,” Tony complains, still clinging to him. He had forgotten how much he loved this, being in Rhodey’s arms. Rhodey gives the best hugs. And admittedly he might be a little touch starved and a little biased, but that doesn’t mean he’s wrong. The only one he let touch him after Bucky was Dummy. Everyone else was kept at arm's length. Literally. 

Rhodey makes a show of looking him over. “Nope, never mind, I was wrong. You’re still my little koala cat after all.” 

Tony sticks his tongue out at him even as he fights to keep the blush off of his face. Apparently any immunity he had built up is officially gone. He’s never had this drastic of a reaction to Rhodey. Even back when he first realized it didn’t get this bad. This could possibly be more dangerous than he thought, especially if anyone else figures it out too. He knows his friends too well - they won’t let this go. Not easily. 

“So mean,” he continues to complain, head against Rhodey’s shoulder, “Platypus why are you so mean to me? Don’t you love me anymore?” 

Rhodey snorts. “You say that like you’re not the one who started it.” 

“Platypus is a compliment .” A strange one take it because Tony has never been really good at those. He shows affection through nicknames instead. Although those don’t always seem to work either. Emotions are hard. 

“Whatever you say genius,” Rhodey sounds fond, “Now let’s get out of here. I could use a shower and a nap. Neither of those are going to happen until we get back to your place.” They begin to walk towards the exit.

“You could nap in the car,” Tony points out. 

“And miss the hour long gabfest this is sure to be? Not a chance.”

“There you go being mean again.” He tries to sound offended, but with Rhodey’s arm still thrown around his shoulders he can’t quite make it, “It’s like you don’t know me at all. When do I ever shut up?” 

“Never,” he answers immediately, “nothing I’ve tried ever worked before and I doubt it works now. Don’t worry though, I still love your motor mouth.” 

Tony is far too delighted by that declaration. Still though he makes a show of pouting. “No love,” he grumbles as they reach his car, “no love at all.” 

“Sure thing koala cat.” He makes himself comfortable as he sits down. 

Tony shuts the trunk and gets in, starting the car up. “So tell me the latest. We didn’t get a chance the last time before you had to go. What’s the newest gossip now?” 

“It’s locked away so that no one can sue me - or kill me - if they find out what I know.” 

Tony waves a hand impatiently. “You can’t just say things like that and then stop. That’s the worst. Are things really that bad? I know this this internship has turned into a ride, but is it getting that bad now? You’re not really training to be a spy or something and not telling me right?” 

Rhodey laughs. “That would be less stressful at this point. No. You know that there is some serious tension between the CEO and his daughter? Well it’s gotten worse. I’m just waiting for news of a coup at this point. Ms Van Dyke is vicious . She’s going to win for sure. It wouldn’t be so bad if all of this didn’t trickle down to my level.” He sighs, “I knew interning at Pym’s was too good to be true.” 

Tony reaches over and pats his leg. “Hang in there platypus, you can do it. Maybe you’ll manage a promotion or something out of this.” 

“Or something,” Rhodey mutters. 

“Right, so things are rough, but where is the juice ?” 

“Tones,” Rhodey sighs with a grin, but obeys. 

They spend the rest of the ride exchanging stories and gossip. It is amazing the stories one has when you work a certain job. Horrifying, but amazing. Before he knows it, they are off the highway and on the old road towards town. Rhodey looks around with interest. 

“Not much to see before we get there.” Nor after they get there really. Tony never realized just how small and boring Hollow Creek was until he left for college. Then there were actually things to do and places to go. It about blew his mind. Now he is nervous just what is this is going to look like to Rhodey, who’s never known anything else. 

“The leaves are pretty,” he says, still looking around. 

Well Tony will give him that. Every autumn the area around here explodes into color. Reds, yellows, oranges. It’s enough to get them mentioned in sightseeing brochures. Not the town itself, they always skip it for a couple of ones over that is more touristy. Most people like it that way so they’ve never tried to change that. He hums in agreement. 

“Well you missed the opening of the festival, which is the parade, but everything else is still going on. It runs till Sunday this year so you have plenty of time. The annual bonfire is on Friday, the wedding is on Sunday, but other than that the week is yours. Stan’s is technically open, but this week is always slow so I don’t have to be there. They know how to find me if they need me. Oh and we have our usual movie marathon one night - far warning it’s going to be crazy with everyone this year. Not that it isn’t crazy every year, but they’re all going to want to meet you and -” 

“Tones,” Rhodey interrupts, “relax. It’s going to be fine. You don’t have to worry about me. We’ve lived together before remember? It’s going to be fine .” 

Tony takes a deep breath. Right. Right. This is just Rhoey after all. No need to be nervous. It’ll be fine, just like he said. This week might be a special kind of hell, but he’ll be fine . After this maybe the rumours will finally die down. Steve and Peggy will be married, Rhodey will leave and everything will go back to normal. Funny how that doesn’t feel as reassuring as it should. 

By the time they finally get to Stan’s Tony is all but vibrating with energy. Ridiculous. He is being ridiculous right now. This is just Rhodey remember? It’s just for a week and then everything will be done. He needs to relax and calm the hell down. 

As soon as he gets out of the car Dummy is there to greet him. He dances around, barking and wagging his tail hard enough to bruise. Tony grins as he pets him. “Easy you big  goof, I wasn’t gone that long.” 

Dummy doesn’t seem to care. He continues to greet Tony as if he had been gone years instead of hours. But then Rhodey gets out of the car and his attention changes instantly. He goes over to inspect this new person. Obviously the excitement is too much because he begins to jump. 

“No Dummy, bad dog, down,” Tony scolds, “You’re not a lap dog, down .” 

Dummy, predictably, doesn’t listen. Instead he rests his front paws on Rhodey’s shoulders and sniffs. 

“Easy,” Rhodey laughs, “Yeah I smell like Tones I know. I’m a friend. Easy there big guy.” 

He still doesn’t get down. 

Tony has to come over and drag him down himself. “No. Down. Bad dog. You know better than that. People are going to think you have no manners acting like that.” 

Dummy whines, looking up at Tony sadly. 

“Don’t think you can try that on me. I know your tricks.” He points a finger, refusing to give in, no matter how cute he looks. 

“Well you know what they say about owners and pets looking alike. And acting it too.” Rhodey is smiling at Tony, eyes crinkling in amusement. 

Tony gasps. “Platypus, what are you implying?” 

“That he learned that trick from you ,” he replies without pause, “You even greet people the same way.” 

He puts a hand to his heart. “I am hurt. Hurt and betrayed that you would say such a thing.” 

Rhodey throws an arm around his shoulder, bringing him against his side. “Just means that you’re both adorable dorks.” 

“Adorable?” Tony sputters. Adorable. Does - does Rhodey actually mean that? And what does it mean if he does? Clearly his nerves are still too high strung if he is making a big deal out of this. He’s just teasing, like he always has. Nothing more. He needs to get a grip on himself before he does something stupid. 

“They are a cute pair aren’t they?” Darcy asks as she leans against the doorway, grinning, “You have to beat some people off with a stick to get them to leave.” 

And here is the second half of the welcoming committee. He rolls his eyes. “Thanks for your support Fitzwilliam. It really means a lot.” 

“No problem boss man. Someone has to keep the creepers away. Justin comes back one more time with a ‘problem’,” she air quotes, “And I’m going to give him one myself. With my taser.” She walks over. “When Tony said he was bringing a friend he didn’t say anything about eye candy being involved too. Darcy Lewis.” She holds out her hand. 

“James Rhodes - although this one calls me Rhodey among other things.” 

“Oh we all know about Tony’s naming skills around here.” Her smile is pure mischief. 

Tony rolls his eyes at her. “Alright then, enough talk. Let’s get you settled in. You can have that shower and nap while I help Dar-dar hold down the fort. Come down when you’re ready and we’ll get some food.” 

“Sounds good,” Rhodey squeezes his shoulder before letting go, grabbing his luggage. 

“This way,” Tony says and takes Rhodey upstairs. After a quick tour he leaves so that he can unpack and relax a bit alone. When he comes back down Darcy is waiting for him. 

“So,” she says casually, “that is James Rhodes.” She raises an eyebrow, smiling, as she leans back in her chair. 

Tony frowns as he walks over “Yes? What, is something wrong?” There can’t be considering they’ve just met. And it went well. Or at least he thought it did. Did he miss something? 

“Of course not,” she waves off, “it’s just interesting is all.” 

Tony frown deepens. “What is?” Just what is she trying to say? 

“Do you know you barely let anyone touch you anymore?” she asks instead, “Before you were like an octopus, now we’re lucky to get even a short hug. And your smile is smaller. Sadder. I know you try to pretend so we don’t worry, but it’s still noticeable.” 

Tony crosses his arms and bites his tongue to keep himself from lashing out. She doesn’t deserve it, even if he hates hearing it. “Your point?” There is a slight edge to his tone that he can’t quite keep out. 

“Seeing you with him is like seeing you come back to life,” she says simply. 

What can he say to that? He deflates, fight draining out of him as quickly as it came. Is he really that obvious about it? Is everyone going to know by the end of this? Will Rhodey know? And what will they think when they do? This was obviously a bigger mistake than he ever imagined. 

“Hey,” Darcy interrupts, “it’s okay Tony.” She comes over and pats him on the arm only a little awkwardly. “I’m glad. Losing Bucky took the fight out of you. With James you have your sunshine back. And what sunshine,” she adds, trying to wiggle her eyebrows. It looks ridiculous. 

Tony is torn between panic and laughter. “It’s not like that,” he denies weakly. 

Darcy shrugs. “Okay then. I don’t really care how he is doing it, just that he is. And neither will anyone else. We just want to see you happy again. If James helps then I say go for it.” There is a pause where neither of them say anything before she adds, “It’s okay to move on. Bucky would want you to be happy.” 

“Darcy,” he sighs more a little helplessly. Dummy, sensing his distress, comes over to him with a whine. He leans heavily against Tony’s leg. Absently he reaches down to pet him. It helps center him, but he still doesn’t know what to say. Not without making himself sound too defensive. ‘The lady doth protest too much’ is a saying for a reason. It’s also the only Shakespeare he knows basically. At least he thinks its Shakespeare. 

Besides how does he say it sounds like cheating when Bucky has been gone for two years now? It doesn’t make sense, but then it doesn’t have to. Being with Rhodey - especially Rhodey - makes him feel unfaithful. But explaining that - explaining why - isn’t exactly something he is ready to do, so he says nothing in the end. 

“Tony,” she echoes, “it’s okay. If anyone gives you any trouble I’ll taser them for you.” 

That is enough to pull a reluctant smile from him. “Thanks Dar-dar. I knew I could count on you.” He smiles when she laughs, then hesitates, “but, ah, it’s not that obvious is it?” This will be as close as he gets to confirming it. 

She shakes her head. “That you adore him? That you smile at him like he hung the sun and the moon? Yeah, but that doesn’t mean they will automatically make the jump. I just know you well enough by now.” 

That - that. Oh. Yeah, he’s in trouble. He doesn’t let any of the show though. “Is this your way of telling me you are working too many much?” He raises an eyebrow in question. 

“Someone has to keep you well caffeinated and fed.” 

“Caffeinated yes,” he agrees, “but you talk as if you bring in anything but sweets for us to eat.” 

“Are you complaining?” 

“Don’t be stupid Lewis of course not. Now,” he abruptly changes the subject, “any calls come in while I was gone?” 

While Tony waits for Rhodey to come down he continues to talk with Darcy as he fixes the lone car in the shop. The alternator broke unexpectedly, but fortunately Tony has the replacement on hand. In no time at all he is done and after another quick check to make sure everything else is okay, has Darcy call to let Ms Hooper know it is finished. 

For once he is grateful that he isn’t busy this week. Usually he hates it. He uses work to keep himself busy and his mind off of things. It doesn’t always work, but that doesn’t stop him from trying, Anything to distract himself. This week is never a good week. Now he has Rhodey. He can’t wait to spend more time with him. Talking on the phone just isn’t the same, not after years of not seeing each other. He has missed him, more than he expected, even with him considering Rhodey is one of his best friends. They formed a tight bond at college. 

But now he can’t seem to get Darcy’s words out of his head. She knows or at least has extremely strong suspicions. Even after she denies it being too obvious he has his doubts. She guessed it too easily. She can’t know him that well - can she? Has he left her that close without realizing? They were friends before, of course. Before she worked for him she worked for Bucky, so they had a good base for their friendship, plus how many years of school together. Tony had a habit of spending time with Bucky when he was working. After he took over he saw no reason not to keep her on. Out of everyone, of all their friends, she was the one he saw the most. 

It’s hard to avoid someone when they work for you. So although he pushed her away like everyone else, she was still there. Through the good days and the bad she was there with him. Even with the mask he made sure to keep up and the walls around him, she was bound to see more than most. His mask wasn’t perfect by any means. Not for someone too stubborn. And she was determined to keep him company, even when his mood was beyond foul. The only one who saw more was Dummy. 

Alright, so maybe she does know him well enough then. And all without him noticing too. Sneaky, very sneaky. Well with Jane gone she obviously needed another genius to manage. He knows Darcy mothered her the same way. The downside of intelligence, sometimes they had a habit of getting too caught up in their own minds. It’s something Tony always had trouble with, even without actually trying. When he does so deliberately - well. There’s really no pulling him away then. 

At the time it was either work or drowning himself at the bottom of the bottle. He knows which is safer - at least for him. He already has enough demons without creating more. 

His eyes flicker over to the still empty doorway. No Rhodey yet. He hums to the radio as he works inventory. At least now he has less reason to feel guilty over this. Before there was Bucky and Carol. Now both of them are out of the picture, although for vastly different reasons. He still remembers how shocked he was when Rhodey called with the news. It didn’t seem possible that he and Carol had broken up. Not with how well they fit together. But break up they did and Rhodey hasn’t been in a relationship since then. 

Of course he feels guilty for different reasons now. It feels unfaithful to Bucky to even think about it. How can he possibly move on - and with someone he liked even when he and Bucky were together? That is the height of infidelity isn’t it? No matter what Darcy says. No matter how true it is. Bucky wouldn’t want him to spend the rest of his life miserable. He would want him to find happiness again. He knows this. But he doesn’t even know what happened to Bucky. Did he truly run away? Did something happen to him? Will he one day come back? He doesn’t know. The ‘what ifs’ are enough to drive him mad some days. 

And then you have the guilt about being relieved over the break up in a way. That is especially unfair considering he has no claim on Rhodey. Not like that. Plus he genuinely liked Carol. She was good for him. She made him happy. How could Tony not want that? They were the perfect match together - or so it seemed. It broke Rhodey’s heart, although by now they are friends again. And he likes her girlfriend, Maria, well enough. 

Besides it’s just a crush. Just a stupid crush that is too stubborn to fade. It’s not as if it will last forever. Never mind that it’s lasted so far, with only phone calls to feed it. It’s a crush, nothing more. And even if it was - which it isn’t - it’s not as if anything would come of it. Not with Rhodey. He’s never been interested in a guy, ever, that Tony has seen. And he looked. Call it morbid curiosity. 

That means this train of thought is a complete waste of time. No use lingering on things that will never be. He doesn’t have Bucky and he will never have Rhodey. They say third time's the charm, but Tony doubts it is in this case. His love life seems to be cursed. Love in general never works out, as if some deity has cursed him. His parents, his partner, no one who loves him - or should love him in one particular case - ever stays. Is he that unlovable? 

Friends are all well and good, but it’s not the same. Not because he thinks friends mean less than romantic partners, but because he has to share. That probably sounds selfish, but it’s true. He wants someone for himself. Someone to call his, someone to come home to at the end of the day. Someone who is home. With friends you have to share. They have their own people, their own things to take them away. Not that it isn’t true with a partner too - they hardly exist in a bubble - but it is still different. Or it feels that way. 

Still he’d settle for a friend like that too. A friend to call his own. He knows that he would be happy with that too. Wouldn’t feel cheated or ask for more. He would be happy. He knows because he had that once too. Before he and Bucky began dating. Before they were close, there was someone else. Look how that turned out. Yet another scandal that tore his world apart. More rumours he hated to hear the whispers of. 

It still is too. Tony seems destined to attract them. There are rumours about that too - about how Tony himself it the catalyst for it. He does his best not to listen. Not to think about it. What if he is the reason he lost the two people closest to him? What if it happens again? He can’t think about it because that really would break him. 

To hear that Tony is a curse to those who dare love him - yeah that’s another reason he pulled away from everyone. Third time may be the charm, but he can’t chance it. Not now. Not ever. Even the whispers have some truth in them, occasionally. 

His thoughts have definitely wandered now. They touch on all the things he avoids thinking about whenever possible. They turn too easily to dark things when he isn’t careful. Now is not the time to linger. Not when others are around. Not if he wants to keep them from worrying. There will be time enough for that later, when he is alone. He twists the wrench in his hand and tries to focus. The cold metal quickly warms under his fingers. It helps center him. It always has. 

It’s one of the reasons he chose the major he did. Engineering has always been his passion and not just because he loves to create. That is part of it, but not all. The other part is how he feels with tools in his hands, surrounded by metal. Steel and iron - two of the most common weapons against the fae - has always centered Tony for some strange reason. It’s why Tony always carries a couple of tools with him at all times. Just in case. 

For what he doesn’t know. Another superstition, probably, but one Tony has never fought that hard against. It’s useful  for one thing - you’d be surprised the number of times his tools have come in handy - and harmless for another. Besides the truth in the whispers and all that. He always has something on him. 

A noise startled him out of his thoughts. He looks up to see that Rhodey has joined them at long last. He smiles up at him with an expression that is only half fake. 

Rhodey either doesn’t notice or doesn’t comment on it. “Hard at work I see.” 

“You know it platypus,” he agrees, still smiling as Rhodey makes his way over, careful not to step on any of the tools or parts he has scattered around. 

“Just like college all over again.” He sits down next to him. 

“Rude,” Tony huffs. 

“True,” Rhodey returns, “Now you said something about food? I’m starving after the flight.” 

Tony nods. “Do you want to stay in or go out? The easiest place to get food right now is the festival. Or we can order some pizza and really relive our college years. Mama Z’s has the best pizza you’ve ever had.” Absently he realizes he is still twisting the wrench and stops. 

“Let’s go out,” Rhodey decides, “I need to stretch my legs. Besides you mentioned this festival enough times I’m curious. Hate to miss out.” 

“You’re really not,” Tony reassures as they stand, “It’s hardly exciting. Nothing is around here.” 

“So you’ve mentioned. Constantly.” 

“I’d hate to get your hopes up for nothing. It’s stereotypical small town around here with a good dose of superstition for added effect. Nothing like the city.” He slips on his coat. Before he can whistle Dummy is at his side, tail wagging wildly. Tony clips on his leash. 

“You want to come with us Fitzwilliam?” he calls. 

Darcy shakes her head, smiling. “I’ll hold down the fort here for now. You kids have fun - and bring me back something to eat.”

Subtle. Tony gives her a two finger salute. 

“Sounds like the beginning of a movie - small town where nothing happens until it does.” 

Tony laughs as they head out into the cool autumn sun. “You have no idea.” Sometimes that’s exactly what his life feels like. And not a terribly happy movie either. 

They head towards the park, Dummy walking in between them. It’s not a particularly long walk and it’s a nice day. There is no bite to the air that signals the beginning of winter although it isn’t far off. All of the trees planted in the square have turned and are falling. Everyone else is out and most are heading in the same direction. It’s sure to be crowded with the weather being as nice as it is. 

They get some curious looks as they pass, but that is to be expected, with Rhodey with them. Someone new. Someone else to talk about. Everyone is used to seeing Tony and Dummy, but someone else with them? Someone they’ve never seen? Exciting. Or it must be, with the way they gossip anyways. It’s worse than high school some days. Who could it be? Why is he here? What are they going to do? Blah, blah, blah. Honestly. 

Tony ignores the looks with ease. Unfortunately he is used to them by now. He laughs when Rhodey gives him an amused look of his own, also noticing them. 

“Scene one,” he mutters as Tony continues to laugh. Damn does he love this man. Quickly he shoves the thought away before it can show on his face. 

“Welcome to Hollow Creek Halloween Fest,” Theatrically he throws his arms into the air as they arrive, walking under the archway, “in all of its glory.” 

It looks the same as every other year. Tents line each side of the road, selling any kind of fall food imaginable. Off to one side is the kids area, filled with blow up slides and bouncy houses. On the other, farther down, is the beer garden and then the stage. In between are a few carnival games stands, set up with the usual oversized stuffed animals and the like. Throughout the week there will be different contests and races going on by the pavilion on the far side of the park. 

It’s not much - but it still smells good. Tony’s mouth starts watering as soon as they walk in. This always happens. Every year it always smells too good and he always eats too much. Afterwards he vows not to do the same next year, but it never sticks. It’s worse than Thanksgiving because at least that is only one day. This is a week long celebration like they are celebrating the end of a successful harvest or something. Not even Christmas, with all of its commercialism, gets this much attention around here. 

They walk slowly so that Rhodey can read all of the menus. People smile and wave, but no one stops to talk. He looks, but Tony doesn’t see any of his friends around. They’ll be here later, but for now it is just the two of them. It’s probably a good thing because the entire group can be a bit overwhelming all at once. 

Around them bales of hay and pumpkins litter the road as decorations. Skeletons, ghosts and fake gravestones peek out from the trees, booths, everywhere. The sight makes a smile tug at his lips. No matter how much he may complain or hate it at times, this is home. This is a steady constant in his life, even when everything else changes. There are good memories, a lot of them, mixed in with the bitter. This will always have a special place in his heart, no matter how much he denies it. Or how cliche it sounds. 

Rhodey whistles. “Damn you weren’t joking Tones. I am going to get so fat off of this you’re going to have to roll me back.” 

Tony laughs. “Dummy is going to be rolling both of us back you mean. One of these years I’m going to wear skates so that he can pull me along.” Then he sighs when Dummy, hearing his name, wacks Tony in the leg with his tail. 

“Surprised he is allowed in the park.” Rhodey nods to the ‘no dogs, skateboards or bikes allowed’ sign. Under it a couple waits while their little terrier pees on it. 

They manage to contain their laugh until they pass. “As you can see the rule is strictly enforced,” Tony says, faking a solemn tone. 

“Clearly,” Rhodey agrees, nodding just as seriously. 

They start laughing again. It gets them more than a few looks, but that doesn’t matter. This feels good, being able to spend time with Rhodey again. Even with everything else going on it is still true. He is one of Tony’s best friends, first and foremost. 

Eventually they both settle on their food - beef stew, sweet potato fries, pumpkin muffins, candied almonds and apple cider to share between them. They juggle it all as they make way for the nearest empty picnic table. 

“So fat,” Rhodey says with a shake of his head. That doesn’t stop him from eating all of his share of the food though. 

“Roller skates,” Tony agrees as he does the same. He holds in a hum of pleasure as he takes a bite. He forgets how good everything it, as if he’s just imagined it, until he eats it again. So good. 

Rhodey groans when he’s finished. “Start rolling me home.” 

“Me first,” Tony says, feeling as stuffed as Rhodey looks. They shouldn’t have eaten those last muffins on top of everything else. They did anyways. So worth it. 

Dummy woofs happily, proud of himself for stealing his own muffin, wrapper and all. Tony might be more worried if he didn’t know that he would be fine. Dummy had eaten far too many things he shouldn’t, up to and including a  light bulb. It never bothered him a bit. He’ll be fine. So Tony just rolls his eyes and lets him be. 

Rhoedy groans again as he stretches. “Come on,” he stands, “if I don’t move now then I’m never going to.” 

Tony sighs for effect, but obeys. He grabs Dummy’s leash and leads them away from the crowd. “There’s a path over here we can use that won’t have so many people on it.” 

They go past the playground and screaming children, the currently empty pavilion and the fountain still running for now in the center of the park. The path divides then and Tony goes right, away from the noise and people. Soon enough they are the only ones on the path. It’s quiet with neither of them talking. There’s no urge to break it, not for Tony. His feet automatically take him down the path without thought. It’s habit, even after two years. 

At the sight of the gazebo he freezes. It seems to come out of nowhere even though it is in the same spot it has always been. Still it is enough to take his breath away. The force of the memories are practically enough to crush him. Certainly solid enough to touch. 

“Tones?” Rhodey asks, obviously concerned. 

Tony doesn’t answer as he slowly walks up the steps to stand in the center of it. It looks the same as if time hasn’t touched it at all. Who knows, maybe it hasn’t. There had always been something beautifully eerie about this place. It’s one of the reasons they loved it so much. 

“Tones,” Rhodey repeats, laying a hand on his shoulder. 

“This used to be our spot,” he says softly, “We used to come here all the time. Our place to get away. No one else bothered us here, it was too close to the woods for them.” And indeed it starts not five feet away from them. “We even talked about having our wedding here.” It would have been perfect. 

“Shit,” Rhodey breathes and pulls him into a hug, “We can leave if you want.” 

Tony shakes his head. This is only the third time he’s been back since Bucky disappeared. As bittersweet as it is he doesn’t want to go. Not yet. He slips out of Rhodey’s hold and sits down. 

Rhodey sighs. “Alright then.” He joins Tony, rearranging them so that Tony is in front. Strong arms wrap around him, pulling him back. 

“What are you doing?” he asks as they lay down, using Dummy as a pillow. His head rests against Rhodey’s chest. He can hear his heartbeat steady under his ear. Fingers scratch at the base of his head and he melts into the touch. 

“What does it look like?” Rhodey continues the motion, “Obviously you need some attention. I told you that you were becoming too much like Dummy.” 

Tony snorts, but that’s as close to a laugh as he can summon. Being here, like this, at this time of the year, makes him feel cut open. Raw. Like he is about to fall apart. This isn’t the first time he and Rhodey have cuddled. Tony’s tactile nature didn’t go away when he went to college. It’s always been a pleasure - guilty and otherwise - since the first time it happened. Rhodey had been one of the few people that he felt safe enough to indulge with. After he realized - well. Nothing was going to change, so why should this? 

Now though, everything has changed. Carol is gone. Bucky is gone. Tony and Rhodey are still here. Together. Or not together together, but still. Here . His life may have fallen apart, but at least he still has this. Again. It has fallen apart again. How many times will this happen? How long can he endure? Is it wrong that with Rhodey by his side he feels that much stronger? Like he can actually make it? 

He reaches up and grips Rhodey’s shirt as tightly as he can. Maybe if he holds tight enough than he can keep him here. It will be enough. Tony will be enough even when he’s never been before. Why? Why is he never enough? His knuckles turn white with the force of his hold. Is it wrong to use Rhodey’s strength to hold himself together? He has always been so strong. A rock. An anchor. Surely it’s alright, just for a little bit. Just for now. He’ll let go when he needs to. When Rhodey leaves he’ll not say a word. He’ll make no protest. Just for now he needs this help to stay strong. 

Rhodey brings his other hand up to wrap around his waist. Another warm, steady presence. Strong arms and dependable hands. 

Everything is silent around them. Quiet. As if the world has stopped. As if they are the only two people left. As if the very air is waiting for something. For what he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know anything anymore. A question without an answer. 

Tony’s fingers flex in his hold. Eventually he will have to let go, to return things to normal, but for now he can’t bring himself to. He gasps as if he had just run a marathon. His lungs and eyes are tight. Suddenly he is terrified this will end in disaster too. That if he loosens his hold, even a little bit, Rhodey will be gone. Vanished into thin air. Just like everyone else. Desperately he tightens his hold even more. 

“You never did like to let on how hard things were on you,” Rhodey sighs. He tightens his own hold, offering his support. His strength. 

“How did you move on?” Maybe he is doing something wrong. Maybe that’s why it still hurts so much. They say time heals all wounds, but if so, Tony doesn’t feel healed in the least. 

“That is a completely different situation. Don’t compare apples to oranges.” 

Tony just waits. 

“Closure,” he continues after a pause, “Things got better after I got some closure. It still hurt for a while, but it helped.” 

“ How ?” Tony’s voice is as raw and desperate as he feels. How is he supposed to find closure in this? 

“I don’t know Tones,” he answers the unasked question, “It’s different for everyone. What is it that you need the most?” 

“Bucky.” Bucky is what he needs. Bucky is what he wants. Bucky is the only thing he can’t have. 

Rhodey doesn’t say anything to that, just hugs him tightly to his chest. And if his shirt ends up damp with tears? Neither of them will mention it. 

They stay like that until the shadows start to grow long. A chill goes down Tony’s spine, making him shiver. Alright time to move. Reluctantly he gets up, loosening his death grip on Rhodey’s shirt and letting go. Standing up he stretches, arms above his head. A quick glance at his phone tells him it is a little after four. Definitely time to go because the festival will be closing soon. Officially the closing time is five, but if there aren’t many people left then they’ll go ahead and end it early. If they want supper they need to do it soon. His stomach rumbles just at the thought. 

Grabbing Dummy’s leash they head off back towards civilization - that’s what it seems like anyways. Neither of them speak, but then neither of them need to. It’s not the usual feeling for Tony, who fills the room with noise so that he doesn’t have to deal with the silence. But this is comfortable. Restful in a way. It helps soothe some of the raw edges that are still there. 

Before they leave they get some bean soup, more muffins and pumpkin pancakes with cream cheese filling for Darcy. Some of the muffins make it back to the shop, but not all of them. As Rhodey said, so fat . 

Darcy is on her laptop when they enter. If she notices the red still lingering around Tony’s eyes she doesn’t mention it. She takes her pancakes with a bright smile. “You’re the best,” she says as she takes a bite. She might be talking to Tony - then again she might be talking to her food too. 

Tony laughs. “Always good to be appreciated.” 

Darcy gives him a thumbs up, mouth full. 

“You can head home when you’re done. If no one has called by now then they aren’t going to.” 

Darcy nods and swallows. “Do you want me to come in tomorrow?” 

“Only if you want the hours. We’ll be here in the morning and then head over to the festival for lunch. No use being here, especially if Angie is free. I’m not listening to her complain that I’m a slave driver again.” Honestly. Sure it was a busy week, but it wasn’t that bad. She was just cranky because all of her customers had sucked that week - along with the tips. 

“Cool we’ll see you there then. Tomorrow is officially relax and chill before everyone goes insane day. And movie night at Clint’s starts whenever everyone shows up.” 

“Great.” Movie night is another tradition for them. Every year they go over to Clint’s farmhouse to eat, drink and goof around until they all pass out. At Clint’s both because he has the biggest place and because there are no neighbors around to complain. It’s always crazy, especially when Volstagg brings the drinks. Which he always does. 

“Catch you crazy kids later then.” She waves as she leaves. 

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” he calls after her. 

“Only if I ask for it,” she answers and is gone. 

Tony snorts. Yeah he just bets. They head up to the kitchen to eat. 

“Be prepared,” he warns as they sit, “the crows shall descend.” 

“I’ll hide behind you if I need to,” Rhodey smirks, “if I can bend down that far.” 

Tony kicks him under the table. “I hate you. See if I help you now.” 

“The horror,” he deadpans and then takes a bite. Clearly he doesn’t take the threat seriously enough at all. Rude. 

They end up on the couch, flipping through Netflix, tangled up in each other. Tony doesn’t particularly care what they end up watching, but he argues just for the sake of it. It’s more snarking and banter than anything else and he loves it. Eventually they settle on Star Wars because why not? It’s a classic for a reason after all. 

Tony does his best to focus on the movie and not the thoughts swimming through his head. Not the warm body next to his. He’s less than successful on both counts. He barely hears anything the characters say for lack of attention, even if he could quote the movie by heart by now. It’s frustrating and annoying and he fights the keep that off of his face. The quota for emotional conversations has been filled for the day. For the week. There doesn’t need to be another. 

Two more movies pass before they finally call it a night. It’s a sign of overthinking that Tony barely notices what they watched next. Hopefully this is all a result of their visit to the park and he will be back to his usual self tomorrow. This is painfully hateful. 

Rubbing his eyes Rhodey stumbles off to the guest room. Tony follows, first stopping at the kitchen to pour a bowl of milk out on the counter. Yawning he collapses into bed. Dummy jumps up to join him, acting as the extra blanket he doesn’t need. Tangling his fingers into fur he sleeps. 

Bucky fills his dreams that night, reaching for him, but always too far away to touch. 

:::

Tony wakes up still tired, with morning breath that tastes worse than usual. Blindly he stumbles out of bed and into the kitchen. A cup of coffee is already waiting for him which is enough to make him smile. In three swallows it is gone. Still mostly asleep he pours himself another cup, drinks that and then empties the pot on a third. Rhodey should be up soon so he starts it again. 

By this time Dummy is waiting impatiently by his leg. He knows how their morning routine goes. Tony snorts, but goes downstairs for their morning walk. Slipping on a coat, shoes and leash they go outside. The cool morning helps wake him up along with the coffee. Around them the morning commute is starting. The town is as awake as he is, but gaining traction. By the time they get back he is starting to feel more human again. 

Rhodey is up, idly sipping his own cup, when they return. In his hand is the last of the muffins with a bite already taken out of it. It doesn’t make Tony pout at the sight. Nope. Not at all. Who needs food for breakfast anyways? Not him. Instead he grabs his own cup and drains it for the last time. 

“Am I making breakfast or are you less hopeless in the kitchen then you were before?” 

“Mean,” Tony says on reflex, “Make what you want honeybear. This is all that I need.” If he wants actual food he either sticks with cereal or something for Volstagg’s bakery. 

Rhodey sighs dramatically. “What a surprise.” He begins digging around the refrigerator. There’s enough to make a decent omelette which is clearly what he decides on. 

Tony pulls out the pan and spatula for him before sitting back down. He watches Rhodey cook. It reminds him of college when he did the same thing. After Tony had set off the fire alarm for the third time he was banned from the kitchen. Cooking has never been one of his strong suits - he did get better though. He doesn’t burn everything now. Obviously Rhodey isn’t going to take that chance. 

Tony ends up stealing a few bites to neither of their surprise. That’s a habit that hasn’t died either obviously. He doesn’t even try to resist. They clean up and then head down to the shop where Tony unlocks everything. It’s a slow morning with only a couple of cars stopping by for an oil change. It’s something that could have waited so he assumes that they are being nosy. He ignores their pointed questions and sends them away with a smile. Honestly. 

By lunchtime he is ready to close up so he does. Rhodey doesn’t look bored, but there is only so much you can do in a mechanic shop if you aren’t one yourself. Engineer he may be, but his interest has always been in planes, not cars. A change of scenery will be good. Locking the door behind them they head off. 

“Antonio!” he hears almost as soon as they arrive. 

He turns and sees Angie waving at him. Darcy is of course at her side along with Steve and Peggy. “Broadway!” he shouts back as he heads over. Dummy woofs his own greeting. 

“So this is the famous platypus,” she says with a smile. 

Rhodey sighs. “Of all the nicknames to catch on,” he mourns. 

Tony refuses to look ashamed. Or embarrassed. “Like yours are any better,” he tells her. Because if it’s one thing they share its their tendency toward nicknames. Sometimes they go well - other times not so much. 

“Mine make sense ,” she says as if that means anything. It doesn’t. Tony will never admit defeat in this. 

“Sure if you want -” 

“Peggy Carter,” Peggy interrupts, holding out her hand, “my fiance Steve Rogers, Angie Martinelli and Darcy Lewis who you have already met. Do be warned when these two begin.” 

Rhodey takes it. “James Rhodes and believe me I know what this one gets like.” He reaches up to ruffle Tony’s hair affectionately. 

“Hey,” Tony protests, “I know when I’m being insulted here.” 

“Of course you do genius.” 

“Rude,” he complains, “I don’t have to stand here and take this. Come on cousin let’s go.” 

“I couldn’t agree more.” Angie nods and loops her arm through his. They march off, Dummy and Darcy on either side of them. 

Tony just catches Rhodey’s snort at the show and grins. Really what did he expect? For Tony not to do something like this? Dramatics is another thing they share. Angie belongs on the stage and according to Rhodey, Tony’s life is a stage. Besides he’ll be fine with those two. Peggy can be fierce when she needs to be, but she’s great. And Steve is - well, Steve is Steve. Rhodey will be fine. 

He hopes. 

“So,” Angie starts as they continue to walk, “how is my favorite cousin doing?” 

Subtle. “High praise indeed,” especially with their family, “Tell me cousin, what are you after?” 

“Can’t I check up on you without suspicion?” She shakes her head sadly. 

Right. “Check up? Yes. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have an alternative motive now does it?” 

“No trust,” she mourns and then smiles at Tony’s glare. “Can I help if I worry? I know you don’t like to hear it, but it’s true. And I’m not joking about you being my favorite either. Who else is going to support me when Dad starts talking about ‘real jobs’ again?” 

It makes him frown because that part is true. Uncle Rob isn’t what you would call a firm believer in the arts. Or following your dream if it isn’t practical enough. Still that doesn’t mean he likes all the fussing over him. He’s fine. He’s fine . Maybe if he repeats it enough times it’ll be true. “It’s going better than expected.” He’s not even lying that much. He did think this was going to be worse than it has been. Alas the week is still young though. There’s always time for change. 

Angie nods. “Good. And James?” 

Tony frowns. “What about him?” 

“Are you two getting along alright?” she asks innocently, “Is he treating you right? It looks like he’s good for you. I certainly haven’t seen you smile like that in forever.” 

Tony sighs and glares at both of them for good measure. 

“Don’t look at me,” Darcy defends herself. 

“I don’t care how he’s making you smile,” Angie says in an all practical, no nonsense tone, “I just care that he is.” 

“My offer is still open too,” Darcy adds because she is much too fond of her taser. 

Tony nods, reassures them and then blatantly changes the subject. “Ready to go out of your mind yet?” 

“She’s not allowed to answer her phone anymore,” Darcy tells him over Angie’s groan. 

Tony winces in sympathy. Yeah that has to be pretty bad. 

“That’s why we’re getting extra drunk tonight,” she continues. 

“Amen to that,” Angie says with feeling, “If I have to listen to one more person offer their ‘friendly advice’ on something that is already settled,” she trails off, grumbling under her breath. 

“I’m going to taser them,” Darcy finishes for her, “If she doesn’t do it first.”  

And that tells him that it is even worse. It takes a special level of annoyance to have Angie threatening violence via taser. Usually it’s something more personal instead - like her fist. Being a waitress will do that to a person. 

“Are we all going to fit?” Clint’s living room may be big, but it isn’t that big. Same with the rest of his house. And it is going to be filled to the brim this year with everyone making extra sure to be there because of the wedding. It’s going to be a tight fit all told. 

“We’ll sticks them on the roof if they don’t,” Angie says, serious except for the grin in her eyes. 

“Starting with Clint?” 

“Starting with Thor and the lot - except Sif. Nat usually claims her right off.” 

“Or she can join them on the roof instead,” Tony points out. 

“I’ll leave you to be the one to tell her that.” 

“I thought you loved me?” Tony gasps while Darcy laughs, “What happened to your favorite cousin? Have I been replaced so soon that you want to get rid of me?” 

“Don’t worry,” Darcy consoles, “you’re still my favorite.” 

“As always my knight in shining armor to the rescue.” he gives her his sweetest smile. Then he has a thought - he has both his so called knights in the same place now. Oh my, whatever will he do? It’s sure to make things interesting, that's for sure. 

“Anything new and exciting happening?” he asks. 

While Angie happily complains about her customers at the cafe and her latest script they gather enough food for the six of them and then some. They can barely carry all of it. Everything smells amazing though. Tony can’t wait to start eating. By the time they finish, they head back to find Rhodey, Steve and Peggy sitting at one of the many picnic tables, talking amiably to each other. Tony’s stomach gives a flip that has nothing to do with food. It looks like everything is going well. Good - that’s good. 

Part of Tony is worried that he might be wrong. Maybe Rhodey and his friends won’t get along. And what then? Things might get awkward one way or another. But at least for now everything seems to be fine. 

“We come bearing food,” Darcy calls. Carefully they put everything down and take a seat. 

Rhodey looks at Tony without a word. He doesn’t have to say a thing.

Tony just laughs, nodding in agreement. “You’re still surprised after yesterday?” 

“I’m starting to feel like Hansel here.” A smile tugs at the side of his mouth. 

“Does that make me Gretel? Or the witch? Because I look great in a skirt.” 

“Don’t remind me,” Rhodey groans. 

Tony rolls his eyes. “Oh like that was the worst thing you’ve seen me do.” 

“No,” Rhodey agrees, “it wasn’t. But I’m still trying to forget that incident so I refuse to even think about it.” 

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad. You barely -” 

“No,” he interrupts. 

“Saw anything -” 

“ No ,” he repeats, “We made a pact remember? It never happened so why are you still -” 

“Don’t be such a drama -” 

“That one is rich coming from you. What about the time -” 

“Honeybear,” Tony whines, “why?” 

“Why yourself, honestly Tones one would think that you like remembering it.” 

“Well I wasn’t the one -” 

“Still nope.” 

“Anyone else want some kettle corn?” Darcy asks, holding up the bag in question. 

Angie sighs. “Why did you break the mood? It was just getting good.” 

“What? They weren’t finishing their stories. It’s only good if you have all of the details.” 

Peggy snorts. “I doubt we would want them all by the end of it.” 

“Oh don’t even try,” Tony points a fork at her, “You may act all prim and proper, but we know what you’re really like.” 

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Peggy is the very picture of dignity just then. 

Steve chokes on a laugh. 

“Yes darling?” She raises an eyebrow in challenge. 

“Nothing dear,” he reassures. Too bad his smile gives him away. He leans over and kisses her forehead. “Just happy to be with my best girl is all.” 

“Thank you,” she returns the gesture, “but I do know when you are full of it.” 

Everyone else laughs while Steve continues to smile, a bit less innocently now. 

Tony is hiding his own smirk, glancing at Rhodey, when it hits him. What they must look like to someone who doesn’t know them. There is Peggy and Steve acting all cool and cute at each other, Angie and Darcy who are laughing happily, sharing their space and then Tony and Rhodey. To a stranger it would look like a triple date of some kind. Three couples enjoying each other’s company. 

The sense of longing that hits him then about takes his breath away. Suddenly he wants nothing more than it to be true. For Rhodey to really be his. He still loves Bucky, will always love Bucky, but that doesn’t stop him from aching for Rhodey in that moment. Nothing has changed there. He fell for Rhodey in college, he just didn’t let himself think about it. Never let so much as a daydream out. As soon as he had the revelation he locked it away where is couldn’t ruin everything. 

It worked. It stayed locked away for the longest time too. But now it’s back with a vengeance, seemingly stronger than ever. Damn, but what a mess. He is a mess. What a time for this to come up too. It couldn’t have waited until he was alone? Oh no, that would be too simple. Desperately he tries to hide the longing away so that no one will see it. Lock it away again. But he can’t. Now that it is finally out again he can’t banish it back where it belongs. 

Instead he works on compartmentalizing it, where he can think about it later. That works marginally better. Enough so that it isn’t spelled out across his face for all to see. Or he hopes so anyways. He’s in trouble if not. 

“That’s why Pegs needs a shovel,” Darcy jokes. 

“You okay Tones?” Rhodey asks softly under the laughter. 

Tony nods, flashing him a bright smile. “Course platypus.”

He’s lying though. He isn’t. 

He hasn’t been for a long time now. 

:::

By the time they arrive at Clint’s Tony has his emotions under better control. He still feels a bit raw from his earlier thoughts, but they aren’t about to get the better of him anymore, It’s a relief, if only a temporary one, because they’ll come back. They always do. 

The noise hits him like a wave when they walk in. Music is playing, people are talking, laughing, joking. It’s complete chaos. By his side Dummy wags his tail excitedly. He’s just going to add to it, but Tony has to bring him if he wants to be able to spend the night. There is no one else to watch him. 

“Behave,” he warns as he unclips his leash. 

Instantly Dummy is off into the crowd. Behave. Yeah right. 

Following behind it looks like almost everyone is here. He was definitely right about the space - there isn’t much left. 

“Tony!” Clint shouts when he sees him, “And our newest victim - I mean guest. Ouch,” he corrects when Natasha elbows him, “Come, come,” he motions them over, “is this a party or what?” 

“It always is.” Tony can’t help but smile, mood lifted by the atmosphere. “Think you have enough food?” 

The table is covered in a feast of pizza, wings, chips and every other kind of greasy snack food you could want. 

“With this lot? I’m waiting on Thor to bring his share.” 

Yeah that’s probably wise. Just because it looks like a lot doesn’t mean it will last. Some of them are able to eat enough for two. Thor is just one of those people. 

“So are you going to introduce us or what?” Clint asks. 

Soon they gather a crowd as everyone comes over to meet Rhodey. It’s almost overwhelming, but Tony finds himself grinning widely anyways. He forgot how much he missed this - the energy, the company, the sheer amount of life when everyone gets together. Darcy said it was like watching him come to life, earlier this week. He didn’t understand what she meant then, but now he does. This, this right here and now, is like he is coming back right now. Like he is practically overflowing with life. 

It’s amazing. He has to keep himself from laughing at nothing. He’d look more than a little crazy if he did. His smile is already a bit manic. Or at least that’s what Angie told him when she came over to hug him. It’s not hard to believe. 

“My friends,” Thor booms as he walks in, “we have arrived,” 

“And we brought the most important part,” Vlostagg adds, holding up a jar in triumphant. 

Darcy, along with the others, cheer, although her’s is louder than most. She makes a bee line straight for him - or his drinks anyways. 

Well he isn’t wrong - not after that reaction. Along with running the bakery Volstagg’s family also makes the best moonshine around. It’s the worst kept secret there is considering just how many people drink it. But it also makes them one of the most popular families so everyone ignored the legality of it - or lack thereof rather. 

“Sweets and  booze, the king of kings,” Volstagg continues. 

“Wouldn’t that be two kings?” Fandral asks as he squeezes by him with a huff. 

“Technicalities,” he waves off, “I have the usual 150 proof with silver lids, the 190 proof with red lids and enough fruit to start a farmer’s market in with the rest.” 

“Just not your grandpa’s farmers market,” Darcy jokes. 

“Are you kidding?” Sam asks, “That’s exactly their kind of thing. They’re probably selling it right there. And drinking it too.” 

“Don’t be giving away all of our secrets now,” Volstagg warns, “Ah Tony,” he greets as he walks over, “as always a jar of my very best blueberries just for you. And a little something extra this year as well.” He winks, nods at Rhodey and goes back to the others as if nothing ever happened. 

Tony tucks the jar under his arm to open the box. Inside is filled with chocolate covered brownie bites. They are amazing and gooey and always go fast. He remembers always buying a dozen to share with - no. Not here. 

But still, afterwards, it became a tradition for Volstagg to give him a jar of blueberry moonshine. Who cares if he was old enough to drink it or not? Not him. Not with how heartbroken and devastated he had been. And anyways, they had all been drinking it too young so it wasn’t as if he stood out that much. He shakes his head to get rid of that line of thought. No, he isn’t doing this now either. 

Rhodey throws an arm over his shoulders, easily bringing him back. “You love me right Tones?” 

Tony smiles cheekily up at him. “Maybe.” 

“Maybe,” Rhodey snorts, “I see how it is. I’m only your best friend, but okay. Maybe.” 

“Tony is vicious with his sweets,” Natasha tells him as she comes over. As predicted Sif is right beside her. 

He nods. “Damn right. Hey Red Sparrow, Xena, how’s it going?” 

Sif shrugs. “This is the most interesting thing for me all month.” 

“I’ve been drafted to hide any bodies Angie may acquire,” Natasha answers blandly. 

“You mean Peggy won’t do it herself?” 

“It’s best to keep her nails clean for the wedding.” It’s said in such a practical tone that it’s easy to miss the implication. 

“All of you are terrifying,” Rhodey says, “I see why Tones keeps you around.” 

Natasha smiles sweetly. “That would be one reason.” 

Tony flutters his eyes at her. “You’re stunning looks are another. Ladies.” 

Natasha gives an inelegant snort. 

Sif grins. “How else do you fool you opponents into false confidence before beating them into the ground?” 

“Terrifying,” Rhodey repeats. 

“Tony.” Thor has obviously spotted him. He comes over and throws an arm around him. “I see you have brought a new face tonight.” 

Tony looks up at him. “Thor, Rhodey. Rhodey, Thor.” He leans in just the tiniest bit, soaking in his heat. “How are you doing Thunderer?” 

“I am well. Excited to see both the wedding and the arrival of my Lady Jane.” He smiles widely. “The shadows of those not with us are saddening, but it is still a joyous time.” He pats Tony’s shoulder. “Well wishes, but I must go before all of the pizza is gone.” 

Rhodey watches Thor walk away before turning to Tony, question in his eyes. 

“Yeah he’s real,” he answers, “English isn’t his first language and it tends to show.” Not that it was bad by now, just - off. He always reminds Tony of a big, blond Viking. Accurate considering that is he from Norway originally. 

“Alright listen up,” Clint yells over everyone, “it’s time to pick the first movie. Make it good and make it something we can drink to without killing ourselves. No Twi Hard repeats.” 

“Once,” Tony tells Rhodey under the heated debate that begins, “we thought it would be fun to watch the Twilight Saga. We took a drink every time Bella sighed or gasped. Our hangover lasted three days after that.” 

Rhodey shakes his head. “Why?” He sounds so disappointed. 

“We were young and naive.” They thought it would be fun - the hangover was not worth it. Honestly they didn’t even make it through all of the movies before they quit. He can’t imagine what it would have been like if they did. They probably would had given themselves alcohol poisoning. 

Neither he nor Rhodey enter the debate other than to veto some of the more outlandish ideas. And Tolkien. Tony won’t do Tolkien for personal reasons, but someone always seems to forget that. 

By the end Halloween is decided on because apparently they want to be as cliche as possible. Horror isn’t exactly Tony’s thing, but with this lot it’s hard to get scared. Not with all of the laughter and commentary. They aren’t wrong either. Once Tony watched Jason X and he laughed so hard he ended up crying. Ridiculous. 

They all pile into the living room, drinks and food in hand. Tony and Rhodey end up on a couch with Bruce. Tony nearly cackles with glee because while everyone first assumes Bruce is the quiet one, he has the best sense of humour. Angie and Darcy join them on the other side on the floor. Glancing around he sees everyone settling in groups and pairs wherever there is room. Dummy has chosen Hogun as his next pillow. They nod to each other as the movie begins. 

It is just as ridiculous as he thought it would be. With every drink he takes he can feel himself relax just a little bit more. The world becomes brighter. Softer. Loose. Tension he didn’t even know he had leaves him. He leans against Rhodey and laughs at Bruce’s muttered comments. Around him the others join in as they mercilessly mock the movie. 

Rhodey is one long line of heat that Tony can’t seem to stay away from. At first he leans on him only a little bit, just past the point of it being noticeable. But as the movie goes on slowly that little becomes more. Bit by bit he moves in. Halloween ends and they put on the next one. By the time it is halfway through Tony is pleasantly drunk and paying not a spec of attention to it. He drinks when the others do, but that is as far as it goes. Every bit of his focus is on Rhodey instead. 

The movie ends, there is another debate, people get up and stretch. Rhodey leaves and comes back with more food. Bruce gets up, mutters something and then never returns to his spot. Tony barely notices. Someone declares a Harry Potter marathon and he doesn’t object to that. Why not? A chill runs up his spine, cold from where Rhodey was. But Rhodey is a good bro  and notices. Putting an arm around his shoulder he pulls him back in. 

Tony goes happily. Everything is good right now. He can’t for the life of him remember why he was so worried. Why he thought this was a bad idea. This is great. Rhodey is great. He giggles as the Dursleys are bombarded with letters, getting as close as possible. Rhodey lets him. Rhodey actively encourages him, pulling him closer and closer so that Tony is all but on top of him. 

Tony giggles again, at nothing this time. He has completely lost track of what is going on. All that matters is Rhodey. Rhodey. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Oh he smells so good. Like the cologne he wears and the blueberries Tony shared and Rhodey . Just Rhodey. 

The next time he opens his eyes things are much quieter. There is still a movie on, but Harry is older now. The sixth one maybe. Or the fifth. What one had the pink toad in it? He doesn’t remember. His thoughts are still foggy, but that’s as much from sleep as from the moonshine. Around him everyone is either asleep or gone. It’s still a crowd, but less than before. Another glance tells him that Dummy is sleeping next to Peggy. The sight makes him smile stupidly. 

“Hey you,” Rhodey whispers, “back, back with us?” He giggles. 

Tony nods, looking at him. There is a soft look in his eyes as he looks back. It makes him smile wider. “Rhodeypus.” 

Rhodey tries to frown, but he ends up giggling again instead. Of course he does. Tony is hilarious even when Rhodey pretends he isn't. “Come on, you need some air.” 

“You need some air,” Tony mutters, but follows him up. Mainly because he still doesn’t want to let go. 

Between the two of them they stumble out of the room. Rhodey isn’t much steadier than Tony. but they make it to the porch in one piece. They snag a carton of wings to take with them. Outside the cold air wakes Tony up a little bit, but not much. The wings help too, but only enough to get him back to a pleasant buzz. The world is still a soft place around him. Quiet and peaceful. 

Goosebumps run up his arms and he wraps them around himself to keep warm. 

“Come here koala cat.” Rhodey pulls him into his arms. He doesn’t sound any more sober than Tony, but that’s okay. He’s still so warm. 

Tony melts against him. “Honeybear,” he sighs. 

“Hmm?” 

Tony just shakes his head, enjoying the moment. The moon lights up the sky, giving a perfect view of Rhodey’s face. God he’s so beautiful like this. So beautiful and dependable and kind and strong. Really everything Tony could ever ask for in a person. He loves Rhodey. Oh how he loves Rhodey. Why has he been denying it for so long? 

Before reason can set in he reaches up and tilts Rhodey’s head down. Beautiful. Gorgeous. 

“Yeah?” Rhodey asks. His expression is soft and oh so open right now. 

Tony kisses him. 

He kisses him like he’s always wanted to. He kisses him softly and gently and oh so wonderfully. A startled noise and then Rhodey is kissing him back. It makes it even better. Rhodey turns him around so that his strong hands can cradle Tony’s face. Rhodey kisses Tony back with no hesitation, thumbs stroking his cheeks. 

Tony melts even more into him, getting as close as possible. Pressed chest to chest Tony wraps his arms around him as tightly as he can. 

They keep kissing and kissing and kissing there on the porch. The moon shines down on them, the stars twinkle, their breath puffs out like smoke and they just - keep kissing. It is perfect. Rhodey is perfect. Tony never wants to stop. So he doesn’t. 

They keep kissing like nothing else in the world exists. 

Chapter Text

When Tony wakes up the next morning it is to the sun in his eyes and a pounding headache. Ugh. Just how much did he drink last night? He could have sworn it wasn’t that much, but then Volstagg’s moonshine is deadly. Is it any wonder? He always seems to forget just how deadly though. He groans and buries his head into the pillow. 

Or he tries to anyways. It doesn’t work - too hard - and it takes him a moment to realize that he is trying to burrow into Rhodey’s chest. Oh. What? The shock wakes him up enough to realize that they are in the same bed, limbs tangled up in each other. Shirts are off and so are their pants, but their boxers remain safely on. He didn’t - they didn’t - what exactly happened last night? 

“Stop moving,” Rhodey groans, tightening his hold on Tony. He sounds as miserable as Tony feels. 

Tony tries not to panic. They still have their boxers on. They are clean. This isn’t the first time they have shared a bed, let alone cuddled. It’s fine. Obviously nothing happened. It’s fine . 

And then the memories from last night return. The cuddling, the clinging, the kissing. Oh god, the kissing . They stayed out on the porch for what felt like hours exploring each other’s mouths. Letting hands roam where they would. They never passed some heavy petting - neither were exactly coordinated for that, but it was enough. He remembers strong arms wrapping around him, holding him up, keeping him warm. It had been everything he never dared dream and more. Eventually they had stumbled inside and into bed. By that time they were more drunk on kissing than anything else. 

Oh god. Oh god, oh god, what had he done ? All this time, all this effort to never make a move, to never act on his emotions, ruined. Completely and utterly ruined. Maybe he could pass it off as a drunken mistake. Cite the wedding and the moonshine as his reasons and pretend it never happened. Bury the memory deep where he never has to think about it again. 

That won’t work though. He knows it won’t. Rhodey knows him too well for that. There’s a hope, however small, that he was drunk enough too. Either he won’t remember or he believes Tony’s lie. Maybe. Maybe there is a chance he didn’t ruin everything after all. 

He doubts it though. His luck has never been that good. Not when it really counts. Oh god he can’t believe they made out like a couple of teenagers. What had they been thinking? He obviously wasn’t. He never would have done anything so stupid if he had. 

“Stop thinking,” Rhodey groans again, eyes still shut against the light, “too loud.” 

Normally Tony would make some quip to this just to make him laugh, but now he is silent. The words clog in his throat, choking him. Rhodey doesn’t sound angry or upset, but maybe he hasn’t remembered yet. Maybe Tony has a little more time before he loses his best friend forever. Again. 

Why do these things always happen to him? 

Part of him wants to snuggle closer. To soak in the last bit of affection before everything falls apart. Burn it into his memory to remember when he is alone again. This could be the very last time Rhodey hug he ever gets. Ever. He should take advantage of it while he can. After all he has always been selfish like that. Always taking more than he should. Wanting more than he is given. Greedy, greedy boy. 

On the other hand he wants to flee. Run away before Rhodey does remember. That way he can pretend that much longer. That way he doesn’t have to see his reaction. See the denial and disgust. Or maybe just the gentle rejection instead. He isn’t sure which one is worse. Personally he’d rather not find out first hand. Maybe if he is gone when Rhodey remembers they can both put this drunken mistake behind them. Blame it on the moonshine and move on. Nothing will have to change. 

The very idea is enough to make his heart ache, but he will do it. Gladly even if it means he gets to keep Rhodey as a friend. So what if it breaks his heart? It is already broken. At least he got to have one night with him. One night to treasure. It is more than he ever thought he would have. He can’t be greedy in this. He can’t be selfish. He has to put Rhodey first. 

So that means he should leave. Go. At least go find Dummy or use the bathroom or something. Any excuse to get him away. He doesn’t though. He can’t bring himself to. It is as if his limbs have been frozen where they are even as his mind screams at him to move. 

“Stop,” Rhodey orders with a poke to his side. 

Tony looks up at him again to find that his expression still hasn’t changed. That has to be a good sign. Right? “Yes honeybear?”  

“You and that damn brain,” he complains, “Stop thinking so much. Whatever it is can wait until my head doesn’t want to explode anymore.” 

A good sign. Tony forces himself to relax. There is no reason to make Rhodey wonder what’s wrong. That will only speed up the process. Then Rhodey’s hand comes up to stroke his hair and oh. Oh that is cheating. He knows how much Tony loves that. He melts into the touch. 

“That’s better,” Rhodey mutters. His voice is still pained and half asleep. It is clear that he isn’t waking well. 

Tony tries to shut off his thoughts. To just enjoy this as Rhodey ordered. It’s hard because his thoughts never want to shut off. Or shut up for that matter. It’s as if his brain enjoys tormenting him. It is always going, always working, almost impossible to stop. But his head still aches and Rhodey’s fingers feels so nice. Slowly he relaxes more, finally able to soak it in. 

He’d better take it while it is offered because who knows when it will be again. It’s better than being a burden, whining for things he has no right to want. Greedy. 

The next time he opens his eyes the pounding in his head is down to a more manageable level. The sun has left his face, hitting the wall across from him instead. He stretches and finds that he is on top of Rhodey. Wait - what? Oh. Right. Memory is quicker to return this time, along with the panic. He has to bite his tongue to help center himself. No having a panic attack on top of his best friend. 

Who he made out with last night. 

Fuck. 

“What did I tell you about moving?” Rhodey asks, sounding much more coherent this time. Clearly he is feeling better too. And is awake. 

Tony braces himself, but nothing comes after. No yelling. No demands for an explanation. No anger or exasperation or anything . It is almost more than he can bear. Surely he has remembered by now, so why isn’t he saying anything? Maybe he really doesn’t remember. Or maybe he’s waiting to see if Tony does. No sense bringing up something he doesn’t. Especially not something like this. The awkwardness would surely be unbelievable. 

Maybe if Tony doesn’t say anything they can leave this unspoken. He keeps that hope inside of him as he looks at Rhodey. 

“Morning koala cat,” he greets with a smile. His favorite smile. 

Oh god. Keep it together. Don't freak out. Don’t let anything show. “Morning platypus.” His voice comes out strong and steady. See? He can do this. He just needs to get through this morning and he’ll be fine . 

But then Rhodey leans down and kisses him and Tony’s brain does an excellent imitation of the blue screen of death. All thoughts gone. Vanished. Poofed away. Even his earlier panic and heartbreak is nowhere to be found. It is impossible to keep it in the face of this. 

“What?” he asks when they pull away. This - this doesn’t make any sense. What sort of alternate universe did he land in? Where is the anger? The denial? Why isn’t he pushing Tony away? Tony has no right, doing what he did last night. He never had a right to these feelings at all. That was one of the reasons - one of several reasons - why he never acted on them. Nothing good could ever come of this. He knows that. 

So what is happening now? 

“Calm down genius,” Rhodey gently tugs a strand of his hair, “I can see that mind of yours going a hundred miles an hour. Settle down a little so I can catch up.” 

All Tony can do is blink at him. What? 

Rhodey smiles a soft smile. “What part are you stuck on?” 

“You - kiss - what ?” he sputters, brain still not back online enough to make full sentences. 

Still it must get his point across well enough because Rhodey nods. “Yeah I just kissed you, morning breath and all. Is that a problem?” 

“Like yours is any better,” Tony snaps automatically and then swallows. “Why?” 

“Because I want to. We did it enough last night that I thought it would be welcome this morning. Was I wrong?” 

“But - you - I,” and he is back to sputtering again. Great. Desperately he takes a deep breath, trying to get himself back under control. Rhodey waits patiently while he does. But in the end all Tony can do is let out a whine in the back of his throat. 

“Easy,” Rhodey soothes, rubbing his back, “don’t shatter on me now Tones, it’s okay.” 

Tony shakes his head. Okay? How can it be okay? Right now it feels like it never will be again. 

“Yes it will,” Rhodey continues, “Nothing bad is going to happen. You aren’t going to lose me no matter how this conversation goes. Alright?” 

Tony nods to show he understands and then buries his head against Rhodey’s chest. It rises and falls steadily with his breath. His heart beat is calm and strong. Helplessly Tony clings to Rhodey afraid to look back up. Afraid to let go. Afraid that maybe this will work out after all. Just - afraid of everything. Suddenly it is too much to bear. 

Rhodey is a strong presence through it all, never letting go. Never faltering. He is so strong in that moment. So strong. Tony’s rock that he desperately uses to keep himself from drowning. What he uses to keep himself from shattering apart over the uncertain future. 

Slowly, ever so slowly and painfully he pulls himself back together. He takes a deep trembling breath and lets it out just as unsteadily. Then he repeats it again. And again until he feels almost human again. Almost able to function. 

“Better?” Rhodey asks and oh why does he have to be so perfect about this?
The nod Tony gives doesn’t exactly feel stable, but it isn’t a lie either. 

“Good. Now before we continue, I want you to answer me one thing Tones. Do you regret kissing me last night?” There is a serious look in his eyes as he asks. 

It is on the tip of his tongue to say yes. Because that would be the truth even if it isn’t all of it. He regrets kissing Rhodey. Despite what he said, he is still afraid of losing him. Because he will. Because this changes everything. Even if he doesn’t lose him entirely this will change their relationship forever. Nothing will be the same. It can’t be, no matter how desperately he wishes otherwise. So yes, he regrets it. 

Something stills his tongue though. He isn’t sure what it is exactly. Maybe it is Darcy’s words come back to haunt him. Maybe it is Angie’s solid and unyielding support. Maybe it is the look in Rhodey’s eyes. Whatever it is, he can’t bring himself to say it. 

There is a part of him that doesn’t regret it. It’s likely the selfish part and it’s the selfish part that makes his shake his head. “No,” he says almost too quietly to be heard. It sounds terrified even to his own ears. Instantly he wants to take it back, think things through better, but it is too late now. 

“And this morning?” Rhodey then asks. 

Which is not fair really. He said that Tony only had to answer one question, not two. Definitely cheating here. Still he shakes his head. It is easier to answer this time. The truth is already out there. He is already damned so he might as well continue. What more does he have to lose? A lot of course. He has so much more to lose. There is a world of difference between the drunken kisses last night and the hungover one this morning. That doesn’t stop him from condemning himself further. 

But then he looks up and his breath catches at the sight. 

Rhodey is smiling at him. It is a smile so big and so bright that it is almost blinding. It is like trying to stare at the sun - too much. 

Tony looks away again. 

“I don’t either.” 

The confession is enough to make Tony jerk his head up violently. What? That can’t - that can’t possibly be right. There isn’t - he must have heard wrong. Somehow. Or maybe this is a dream. It certainly feels like it is. He’d accuse Rhodey of playing with him, but he would never be that cruel. Still it doesn’t seem real. 

Rhodey reaches up to stroke his cheek. “Did I break you again?”

Tony scowls as fiercely as he can manage. “That isn’t funny.” 

“No it isn’t,” Rhodey agrees, still stroking his cheek, “I’m not laughing at you either. You know I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

“I know,” Tony reassures, but it doesn’t help much. Not in the face of his panic. It is still lingering just out of sight. Waiting for the chance to strike again. It wouldn’t take much either. Why does he always have to be such a mess? 

As if reading his mind Rhodey stretches down to kiss his forehead. Who knows, maybe he is. “That head of yours loves to give you trouble still. I’m happy about this in case you hadn’t figured that out yet.” 

“Why?” Tony asks again. None of this makes any sense. Not one bit. Nothing is turning out like he thought it would. 

“Because I have liked you for longer than I should have, but then you’ve always been irresistible like that.” 

Irresistible? Like? Longer? How much longer? He is getting more questions than answers now. 

“And oblivious to it all,” Rhodey adds with a fond sigh.

Tony would like to protest that, but he’s been told it enough times by enough people to know that it must be true. Still. “How long?” 

“Not long after we first met.” 

The answer shocks Tony. The words are almost a physical blow. Since - since the beginning practically? That long? That’s - that’s - he has no idea what to say to that. 

“Not that it mattered,” he continues, “I learned about Bucky and it was obvious that you were head over heels in love with him. I couldn’t have come between that even if I wanted to - and I didn’t,” he says firmly, “I refuse to be one of those people. So I let it go and met Carol. I would have married her if things had worked out, but they didn’t. Not that it mattered that it didn’t because you were engaged by then. And then Bucky disappeared and you were devastated. You needed a friend, not a rebound.” 

This is all completely new information to him. He never knew any of this. Then again that had been the point hadn’t it? Just as Tony had been hiding his feelings, Rhodey had been hiding his own. There is one thing he was wrong about though. “You could have,” he admits, not able to look at him as he speaks. 

“Could have what?”

“Come between us,” Tony answers, shame filling him, “Not right away, but if you had ever forced that issue I would have had a hard time choosing between the two of you.” How can he be so disgusting? It is the truth though. It has been for a long time. 

“I’m not a house wrecker.” There is a frown in his voice. 

“I know,” Tony reassures again, “but I fell for you even as I was in love with Bucky. It was - it was -” he can’t continue. 

“Your heart has always been too big for its own good.” He keeps his hand up, cupping his face. It is so warm. 

It only makes Tony feel worse though. That’s not true at all. He knows himself well enough to know that. It’s the exact opposite. He thinks of himself too much for everyone else. How else would he find himself it that position? 

“You don’t think it’s wrong that I dated Carol when I liked you, do you?” Rhodey breaks through his thoughts. 

Tony shakes his head, careful not to dislodge Rhodey’s hand. “That’s different. You never did anything about it - emotions are dumb. What matters is what you do about them. You said that you would have married her if you could. And you loved her - that was real.” 

“So would you, so why is it any different?,” he taps a finger against his cheek, “You would have married Bucky if you could have. You loved him so much, it was as clear as the sky is blue. I never doubted that then and I don’t doubt it now. I don’t think any less of you for it so don’t do this to yourself. You’re amazing Tones, even if you don’t think so.” 

Tony can feel his face heat up at that. What in the world? Honestly he can’t remember the last time he blushed. High school probably. He had thought that he’d grown out of that since then - or at least successfully broken the habit. Obviously not. 

Rhodey kisses his forehead again. 

It only makes him blush more. Ugh. Can he get anymore pathetic? 

“Done stressing out on me?” 

The question makes him snort. Done? Really? “Have you met me platypus?” 

Rhodey sighs. “That’s what I thought.”

They stay like that for a long moment, soaking each other in. 

Tony’s head continues to pound, but he ignores it. He has bigger, more important things to worry about. “What now?” he finally asks. 

“Now we go downstairs and drown our hangovers with that greasy breakfast I smell.” He makes no move to pull away though. 

Tony makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” The expression he makes at that isn’t a pout. That would be ridiculous. “What are we?” Where do they go from here? 

Instead of giving him a straight answer Rhodey asks, “What do you want to be?” 

Tony glares down at him. That is no help at all. That is the exact opposite of helpful in fact. It tells him nothing of what Rhodey wants. What he is expecting out of Tony now. 

Somehow that only makes Rhodey smile the ass. “Do you want to put a label on this?” 

Tony bites his lip, unsure. This is why he wants a real answer. Easier to know and then to go from there. 

“We don’t have to,” Rhodey continues gently, “if you’re not ready for one yet then we can just see where this goes instead. No pressure - or as low pressure as your brain we  let you have.” 

“I just -” Tony resists the urge to flail. He feels so helpless right now. Useless. He finally has what he wants - what he never thought possible - but he doesn’t know what to do with it. Things have gone from zero to sixty in the exact opposite direction he was prepared for. 

“I can wait.” And oh Rhodey is being so soft right now. So kind. “This is a big change. I’m not expecting perfection from this - just you.” 

“Even when I mess up?” Tony pushes, “When I get too much or forget something important or push you away? What if I push you to your limit? Or I panic and do something really stupid? What if -” 

Rhodey covers his mouth to stop him. “Even then. You seem to be forgetting that I know you Tones. We lived together remember? We talk weekly on the phone. I know you - and I have never regretted a second of it.” 

“Never?” Tony has a hard time believing that. 

“Never.” But Rhodey says it so firmly that he almost does. There is another pause before he stretches, “Now I was serious about that food. The sooner I get rid of this hangover the better.” 

Reluctantly Tony gets up so that they can get dressed. Before they can leave the room though Rhodey kisses him affectionately and pushes his hair out of his face. His expression is enough to make Tony feel dizzy. 

When they enter the kitchen Volstagg is at the stove working his magic. 

“Come eat,” he tells then when he sees them, “Food will take care of everything.” 

“Whether you want it to or not,” Fandral adds from his seat at the table. 

Vostagg waves a spatula at him. “If the peanut gallery ever wants my food again then he better watch his mouth.” 

Fandral smiles his most dashing smile. “You know that you will always have a special place in my heart.” 

Hogun just shakes his head at the two of them before continuing his own breakfast. 

“A fine morning too,” Thor greets, his own plate piled high with food, “I am glad to see you favored well after last night.” 

Tony decides that there are too many people in the kitchen. As soon as Rhodey collects their plates he guides them out to the porch. There is no shame in fleeing something like that, especially so early in the morning. Because ten o clock is early. Any time before noon is early. Tony isn’t exactly what you would call a morning person. 

Outside the sun is shining bright enough for Tony to wish for sunglasses. Still it is nice enough that he can get away with just his sweatshirt. Good enough. Grabbing his plate he sits down on the steps to eat. Out on the lawn there is a game of frisbee going on. A rather unconventional game because Dummy is right in the middle of them, trying to get it. Steve, Clint and Natasha aren’t making it easy for him. 

It makes his mouth tug into a smile. The first time he had ever brought Dummy they all learned very quickly what they could and could not play with him around. And they had to include him because there was no keeping him out. Anything with a ball was in danger - anything that could be thrown really. And football was definitely out because Dummy did not appreciate seeing Tony tackled. At all. Either that or he would tackled them back. He had been smaller than, but he was still a big pile of fluffy muscles. They played something else. 

Tony could call him over so that they can play in peace, but no one is complaining yet so he lets it be. Let him burn off some of that energy. Tony doesn’t exactly have time to play during the week, especially not in the autumn and fall when it starts getting dark so early. This will be good for him. He can hear the laughter and the teasing from where he sits. 

Beside him Rhodey is a warm, reassuring presence. Neither of them talk as they eat, letting the food work its magic. Tony hadn’t thought he was that hungry, but as soon as he started he was proven wrong. The grease helps settle his stomach and take the headache away. What a relief. He sets the empty plate down behind him with a happy sigh. 

“Better?” Rhodey asks. 

He nods. “You?” 

“I am most definitely Hansel in this scenario, but at least my head doesn’t hurt anymore. That stuff is both amazing and terrifying all at once.” 

He hums in agreement. “Welcome to my world. You never did tell me whether I was Gretel or the witch though. I’m sure I still have that skirt in the back of my closet.” 

“I hate you so much,” Rhodey grumbles, slight smile giving him away.
“You mean you love me so much,” Tony corrects, batting his eyes. 

“Yeah. Yeah I do.” Rhodey looks over at him with another soft look. 

It makes Tony heart flutter just to see it. Oh. Oh . Well then. “Love you too Rhodeybear.” The words come out so easily, it is a wonder. This is - this is a thing now. A thing the are actually acknowledging. It’s allowed. Even more it seems to be expected. Um - wow. 

“Why do I keep walking into these things,” Bruce sighs as he takes a seat beside Tony. 

Both of them look at him. 

He holds up his plate of food in defeat. “Don’t mind me I just want to eat.” To emphasize his point he takes a bite. 

Before either of them can respond to that another group of people come outside. 

“He lives,” Darcy cries, grinning far too happily. 

“Try not to sound too surprised.” Some people have no respect for the terrible burden that is morning. So rude. 

“What fun is that?” Darcy pulls a face, “Come on, we’re going to join the game.” 

Tony successfully dodges her hands with practiced ease. Rhodey however is not so lucky. He gets caught and dragged along with them. With the flood of additional people the game stops as they divide into teams. Or that’s that it looks like anyways. Poor Rhodey gets stuck with Darcy - not that he seems to mind. He laughs as they begin again. It is good to see him getting along with everyone so well. One less worry at least. 

“Your heart eyes are showing,” Bruce says dryly. 

Tony turns to frown at him. “What?” 

“Like the emoji,” he explains, “You have hearts in your eyes right now.” 

A wave of panic washes over him. No, he can’t know. No one can know. Not yet. What will they think? He forgets it’s been two years, that Angie and Darcy already support him, in the face of it. All he can focus on is the lingering guilt and insecurity of it all. “You - no - I - we aren’t - we didn’t,” he tries to explain. 

“It’s fine,” Bruce waves off, calmly taking another bite, “I saw the two of you last night on the porch. This isn’t a surprise or anything.” 

“Brucie bear,” he says helplessly. All of a sudden he feels exposed. Vulnerable. Like everyone can see everything. Talk about terrifying. 

“It’s fine,” Bruce repeats, “I’m glad you found someone who makes you happy.” 

Tony still feels the need to flail. To explain. To justify himself, as if he is actually doing something wrong. It’s not right? Someone would have told him by now if it was. But instead Bruce is the third person to support him. To stand beside him and say that it’s okay. That means it is allowed. Right? 

Sometimes he truly despises emotions, he really does. 

“So what’s new on the science front?” He changes the subject, not caring in the least that it was the least subtle thing ever. He doesn’t want to talk about it right now. Not with everything so new. 

Bruce gives him a knowing look, but answers anyways. They spend some time talking science before the conversation inevitably gets off course. It usually does when Tony is involved. That’s just the way his mind works. Fortunately Bruce is use to it and able to keep up easily. His science bro is the best. The nickname makes Tony smile. That’s what they called themselves in high school when they were assigned as chem partners. A partnership made in heaven. It always made Bruce snort, but he never denied it. 

By the time the game is finished and they come over to collapse on the ground with them it is afternoon. Or at least that is what Volstagg announces when he comes back out with water bottles. 

“You are a terrible host,” Natasha tells Clint.
Clint makes a face. “What? You mean you expect actual service too? On top of everything else? Your expectations are clearly too high.” 

“I’ll say,” Sif mutters. 

“See if I ever do anything nice for you people again,” he pouts. 

Dummy comes over to lay his head on Tony’s knee. “Hey there crazy thing,” he greets as he twists off the cap of one of the bottles. Carefully he pours it out so that Dummy can drink it, “you have fun terrorizing everyone?” 

“He’s a menace alright,” Sam agrees, “just like his owner.” 

“Hey!” he protests as everyone laughs. Rude. 

“Don’t worry Tones,” Rhodey throws an arm around his shoulders, “that doesn’t mean you aren’t still lovable.” 

Tony can feel himself blushing again. Ridiculous. Completely and utterly ridiculous. He needs to get himself under control before he gives something away. Too many people know - or at least suspect - as is. He doesn’t want anymore. 

“Are we still going to the festival for lunch?” Steve asks. 

“If you don’t want to eat me out of house and home you are,” Clint answers, “It’s like feeding an army around here.” 

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Natasha tells him. 

“Don’t be so cold hearted,” he shoots back, “Do you want me to starve?” 

They dissolve into bickering and are promptly ignored while the plans are made. It makes Tony roll his eyes fondly because he would expect no less from them. They may be chaos, but they are his. 

Eventually everything is settled, gathered up and ready to go. They drive to the park and attempt to find a parking spot that isn’t a mile away. It is going full swing by time everyone arrives. The place is packed for two o clock. They aren’t going to be finding a table to fit everyone any time soon. Then again with almost twenty of them they wouldn’t. 

Once again another debate breaks out about who wants to go where when there is a tug on Tony’s wrist. He looks down to see Dummy sniffing the air intently. He frowns. This isn’t normal. Dummy has never acted quite like this before. He is too serious, too focused. Is something wrong? 

“What is it boy? What do you smell?” 

As if that is the signal Dummy whines, barks and then takes off running. He pulls Tony forward, almost making him land on his face before he loses his grip on the leash. Rhodey balances him so he doesn’t fall, but he doesn’t stop to thank him. He takes off running. 

“Dummy!” he shouts as he does, “Get back here! Stop! Heel! Bad dog!” Shit what has gotten into him? He is easy to follow fortunately. All he has to do is run in the wake Dummy left behind. People part for him like water, making no move to interfere. He can’t blame them. 

Vaguely he hears the others behind him, trying to keep up. They take a familiar path, the same one he and Rhodey took just the other day. Was it really that short a time ago? Right now it seems like forever. At least this means though that he has a clear path to run on. He has to catch Dummy before he reaches the woods. If he does then Tony will never be able to catch him. 

They reach the gazebo and everything screeches to a halt. Tony almost falls flat on his face again, he stops so fast. That barely registers though. Nothing does except the sight in front of him. At first he thinks that he is seeing things, but blinking changes nothing of the scene. Nor does pinching himself have any effect. Everything stays the same. 

There in front of him is Dummy, who is enthusiastically greeting the person he was clearly after. He dances around, tail wagging madly. He barks happily, begging for attention. The person scratches behind his ears as if he knows that is his favorite spot. He has long, shoulder length hair and only one arm. Still Tony would know him anywhere. 

He looks up and Tony is met with a pair of grey eyes he never thought he would see again. It steals his breath away. They pin him to the spot, freezing him in place. No matter how much he wants to, he can’t seem to move. There is a haunted look in his eyes, but they are still the same. 

Bucky. 

Bucky is standing there in front of him. Different, haunted, but alive. 

Bucky. 

“Bucky!” Steve shouts. He obviously doesn’t have the same problem Tony does because he runs up to him and pulls him into a tight hug. Even where Tony is standing he can see the way he desperately clings to him. 

Slowly Bucky’s arm raises to return the hug. His hand tangles in Steve’s shirt.

This far away Tony can’t hear if they are talking or not. Still the sight makes his throat tighten. Logically he knows that it isn’t like that. That they see themselves as brothers. That Steve and Peggy are madly in love. This isn’t some kind of competition. It doesn’t make it any easier seeing Steve where Tony should be. Knowing that he wasn’t strong enough to get there first. Once again he’s come in second place. Always second. 

As if he can hear his thoughts Bucky looks up at him. Their eyes meet and the world stops once more. He doesn’t smile, doesn’t wink or smirk, just stares. Stares as if he has never seen Tony before. As if he is looking at a total stranger. Tony can almost hear the sound of his own heart breaking. Of his hope dying. Is he really going to lose Bucky as soon as he got him back?

Dummy wedges himself between them, breaking the hug. Steve’s back stiffens, but interestingly enough Bucky doesn’t seem to mind. In fact he relaxes, losing some of his tension. Gently Dummy nudges him forward, clearly guiding him towards Tony. Bucky allows himself to be led. Steve walks beside him as if he is guarding him. He can’t take his eyes off of him. 

Fair enough because neither can Tony. He drinks in the sight, noticing the difference, but absolutely not caring. So what if he is thinner and missing an arm? So what if there is a hard, cold air around him that speaks of some trauma? So what? This is still Bucky. That’s all that matters to Tony. This is what he has been wishing for since the first day he vanished. Bucky is back . 

He holds out his hand, letting Bucky be the one to decide if he wants touched or not. 

Hesitantly, as if he isn’t quite sure, he returns the hold, lacing their fingers together after a pause. Bucky’s hand is as cold and sharp as the rest of him. It is solid though. Concrete proof that he is here. This is real. Bucky stares at their joint hands as if he doesn’t know what to think. As if this is just as unbelievable to him too. There is a crack in the haunted look, but still he doesn’t say a word. 

Well then Tony will just have to talk enough for the both of them. He’s good at that. Cautiously he steps forward until they close enough to feel the other’s breath practically, hand dangling between them. 

“Hey there sunshine,” Tony greets, trying to give a bright smile yet failing miserably, “long time no see. Did you make it to the Milky Way before you turned back?” 

The question puts another crack in his eyes. He doesn’t smile though, not even a hint of one. Another failure. He shakes his head in answer. 

“Didn’t sail across the sun?” 

Another shake of his head.

“How about dancing along the light of day?” 

Another shake. Still no smile. 

“Come on sweet pea work with me here. Do you really want me to start singing the song? Because you know I will. I still remember all of the words.” Humming the chorus he gently tugs Bucky closer to him. He swings his hips in a ridiculous motion. “I have no shame you know.” 

“Tony -” Steve starts, but cuts off when Dummy growls at him. Actually growls, a deep, angry sound low in the back of his throat. 

It makes Tony frown. What? That is another thing Dummy has never done before. He’s protective sure, but he’s never actually threatened his friends before. He’s goofy and clumsy and lovable, not - whatever this is. It’s not as if Steve’s tone was anything to get upset over either. Sure he can be an ass, they’ve had their history, but he was fine. For the first time he wonders if there’s something more to his dog than he ever realized. Maybe there is some truth to the whispers. Then again he could just as easily be picking up the tension from the air. Not exactly a hard thing to do right now. 

True or not, one question stands out from the others - just how did he know how to find Bucky? How did he even know to look in the first place? Just what did he smell? He’s never met Bucky before, although his scent surely lingered in the apartment for a bit when Tony first took him in. So what is it? 

Steve stands stock still, careful not to make any threatening moves. Or any moves at all really. 

Tony can hardly blame him. No matter how lovable he is, Dummy is a lot of dog. And that is a terrifying sound. That doesn’t stop him from reaching down and wordlessly giving a slight tug on his collar before returning his attention back to Bucky. “Let’s go home.” 

Bucky nods, looking vaguely relieved. 

Yeah, that’s a good call. He notices that Dummy deliberately walks on Bucky’s left, both guarding him and separating him from Steve. Yeah something is definitely going on here. Too bad Dummy can’t talk to explain just what. 

Bucky keeps a tight hold of his hand as they walk. It reassures and relieves him more than he can say. Trauma he can work with. He is capable of giving Bucky space or whatever he needs. As long as it’s not full out rejection. As long as Bucky still wants him. 

Steve stubbornly walks right beside them. 

Tony catches Peggy’s eye and she nods. Good. She’ll take care of things while they take care of Bucky. He is under no illusion that anything short of the apocalypse is going to drag Steve away. Not now. Not with the way he is acting. It’s in the stubborn hold of his shoulders and the mulish expression on his face. Steve isn't going anywhere. 

But then he catches Rhodey’s eye and it takes everything in him not to fall apart right then and there. Rhodey. Oh god. Rhodey . How could he have forgotten so quickly? More guilt piles on top of what was already there. Just what kind of person is he that he can jump from one person to another so quickly? Bad enough that he couldn’t keep control of his heart. Bad enough that he moved on at all. One more day. He just needed to wait one more day and then he wouldn’t be in this mess. What kind of person? The worst kind obviously. 

Still Rhodey gives him a reassuring look and then nods to Peggy. 

Tony nods his understanding, feeling despicable. Disgusting. The self loathing is enough to swallow him whole. Now is not the time however. Not when Bucky needs him - or at least he might. He still hasn’t shown any sign of letting go of his hand yet. That counts for something doesn’t it? 

They take the long way around to the car to avoid the crowd. The last thing Bucky needs - any of them need - are the rumours that will inevitably follow. The side glances. The whispering. The questions. They can deal with that when they are more prepared. For now Bucky needs to be somewhere where he can feel safe. 

Tony drives them back to Stan’s while thanking every deity that he never opened today. That he never planned to. There is no business to deal with and no chance of any strangers stopping by. He unlocks the door and watches with concern as Bucky shudders when he walks in. That’s the only reaction he gives though. There is a slight glaze in his eyes that says he is mostly running on autopilot by now, letting memory take over. Tony locks the door behind him.

It’s only when he joins them upstairs does it occur to Tony that Bucky has no idea that he is still living here. All of Bucky’s things had been packed away, out of sight if not out of mind, to make room for Tony’s. Given his reaction - or lack of reaction rather - he has no idea how Bucky will react to this. Will he mind that Tony moved in? That he essentially took over Bucky’s life, picking up where he left off? Maybe not, he wouldn’t have before, but things are going to be different now. They have to be. Whatever Bucky went through has obviously left its mark. Those things don’t just disappear overnight. 

When he stands next to him, though, it is as if Bucky barely notices a thing. He stares as if he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. The glazed look in his eyes is getting worse. 

“How about a shower gorgeous,” Tony suggests, incapable of keeping silent any longer, “That’ll be sure to make you feel better.” 

Bucky startles as if he had forgotten Tony was there. After a short pause he nods and heads towards his room and the bathroom attached to it. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” Tony continues as they follow, “but I sort of moved in. Officially. After everything. I still have all of your things, you don’t have to worry about that. They’re just in the attic so I can bring down whatever. But, ah, that means none of your stuff is in your room right now. Or the bathroom. If you want I can change that. Or you can borrow mine for now. I hope you -” he cuts himself off forcefully, trying not to look as nervous as he feels. Not that it matters because the babbling is enough to give him away. 

Still Bucky doesn’t do anything more than nod. He barely even looks around when he enters. His body might be here right now, but his mind isn’t exactly. That seems to be gone for now. Or hiding at the very least. He stands in the middle of the bathroom and just looks at them. 

“Right,” Tony nods, “well do you want some help? Not because I think you need it,” he adds quickly, not wanting to stick his foot in his mouth more than he probably already has, “but you know I’d never pass up some time to spend with you peaches. Especially not here.” He wiggles his eyebrows, grinning. Or he tries to at least. He’s never actually been able to and always ends up looking ridiculous instead, “Or if not me than Steve? You know how he is, all boy scout and golden boy until he isn’t.” 

Behind him Steve huffs. 

There isn’t a reaction to that either. Bucky just shakes his head. 

Tony doesn’t let himself react to that at all. “Okay then. Well I’m going to get some clean clothes in here for when you’re done, but I’ll leave you to it. Take as much time as you need honeybuns.” He closes the door behind him. 

“Tony,” Steve starts again as Tony goes to pick out some clothes that will fit Bucky. 

But Tony shakes his head before he can say anymore. “No.” Whatever it is he doesn’t want to hear it. It could be good, it could be bad, it could be anything. Tony can’t bear to hear it because if he does there is a chance he will fall apart. He can’t afford to do that now. He holds up a pair of old pajama bottoms, judging whether they will be long enough. He jumps when Steve touches his arm. “What?” he snaps. 

Steve doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t even try. Wordlessly he tugs Tony into his arms, burying his face in his hair. He holds onto him as desperately as he held onto Bucky earlier. 

Tony returns it, feeling himself slip. Just a little bit. Enough that he has to take some deep breaths to settle himself. Steve’s scent fills his nose as he does. It’s comforting, although not as comforting as another one would be. Another two. Damn what a mess. He pushes the thought away like all of the others. Now is not the time. 

They stay like that for an indeterminable amount of time. When they pull away Tony feels both better and more raw than before. The conflicting emotions are enough to make his head hurt. What a mess. Steve looks to be in the same boat. At least he isn’t the only one around here that is. All three of them are at this point. Dummy just might be the most adjusted one here. How sad. 

The shower is still going when Tony puts the clothes on the sink. He has to step over Dummy to get through the doorway. Looks like someone is still on guard duty. He really wishes he knew what was going on there. He’d like to know if he is going to end up losing his dog after all of this too. He leaves him to it though as he begins puttering around the apartment, trying to keep himself busy. It’s not working very well. 

Quickly he runs up to the attic to grab some clothes, but doesn’t stay long for fear of not being there when Bucky is done. Bundling enough of the basics for a couple of days at least he hurries back down. He throws them into the washer and starts it. Bucky still isn’t out by the time he is done. He goes back to puttering. Frankly he has no idea what to do with himself. There is too much restless energy in him to even consider trying to relax right now. He leaves Steve in the living room and goes into the kitchen. 

Once there, he finds himself staring blankly at the table. What now? What now? It echoes through his head, about the only thought in there. Or the only thought he is allowing himself to think about anyways. He just feels so useless right now. It’s never been a feeling that he’s handled gracefully. He always has to be moving, to be doing. Silence is enough to drive him mad. Nothing good ever comes from it. The same with inactivity. 

But he doesn’t know what to do . It is enough to make him scream. 

That’s when he hears a noise downstairs and goes to investigate. Anything to keep him busy. Darcy waves at him while Natasha, Peggy, Clint, Angie, Rhodey, Bruce and Sam all come in with food. 

“Special delivery,” Darcy calls. She relocks the door, a proud grin on her face. 

Tony tries to smile, but he’s sure that he fails. Instead he focuses on not looking too desperate. He’s sure that he fails that too, judging by the concerned looks he is getting. It's a welcome distraction though. He motions them up to the kitchen. Food soon covers the entire table. 

Thankfully not everyone came because there wouldn’t be room for them. The kitchen is packed as is. Sam, Natasha and Clint break off to go join Steve in the living room. After a nod from Tony Peggy joins them. That leaves the four of them standing in awkward silence.

Tony would make a joke about invaders, but the words stick in his throat. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out but a choked noise. Horrifying. Before he can panic too much he is pulled into another hug. Angie is the closest one so she gets there first, but everyone else is not long behind. He is engulfed in their arms, the center of it all. Blindly his hands come up to grab at shirts, still trying to hold himself together. Somehow. For one desperate moment he thinks this is it as he lets out a sigh that is far too close to a sob, but then he reigns it in. 

The hug is both comforting and caging. He never wants it to end and yet he wants nothing more than to escape it as soon as possible. His emotions are so tangled that he barely knows which way is up. Impossible to tell just what he wants right now. Everything is threatening to overwhelm him in the worst possible way. 

“Food,” he eventually demands although the mere thought makes him nauseous. It gets them to let go, which is the point. He scoops up some apple bread pudding into a bowl and begins to eat. Now is not the time to be worried about healthy living. 

Rhodey meets his eyes across the table with the same thought - so fat - before looking away again. It is all Tony can do to finish after that. He gives up the effort when he hears the door open. 

Bucky comes down the hallway and pauses to survey the scene. He looks from the kitchen to the living room, expression giving away nothing. There is still that terrible dead look in his eyes. Dummy is standing faithfully beside him. For a moment it seems as if he will join Tony, but then Clint calls, “Bucky!” in an enthusiastic tone and he goes into the living room instead. 

That is enough for Tony. He abandons his food entirely and flees down into the garage. Only paying half a mind he collapses on his workbench. Tools are still scattered around. Thoughtlessly he picks up a screwdriver and twists it between his fingers. 

Surprisingly, when someone does join him, it’s not who he expects - it’s Peggy. “The queen herself,” he remarks. 

Peggy doesn’t say anything to that, sitting gracefully down on the bench without a word. 

“Thought you’d be up there supporting Thing One and Thing Two,” he says eventually. 

“Steve has enough support right now.” 

“Did you have to beat the others off with a stick?” Because honestly, he had been expecting Darcy or Angie to be the one who came down. 

Peggy’s mouth twitches. “Almost.” 

Tony can fully believe that. 

“Just because I am marrying Steve does not mean he is the only one I care about. You are just as important in this scenario.” 

Tony doesn’t reply to that. He remembers the first time he met Peggy. It had been a full family gathering when Angie came over, dragging her new friend with her because ‘she just moved here from England and her parents suck and her brother died so we are her family now’. They had been nine at the time. True to her word that is exactly what happened too. Peggy has been involved to the point where no one likely remembers she isn’t actually just another cousin. 

“And anyways Clint is now in the corner of shame for distracting Bucky like that.” 

That is almost enough to make Tony smile.

“Besides what you need is some practical sense, not some hogwash that is lovely to hear, but absolutely useless otherwise. About more than one thing as well I believe.” 

Tony sighs. Great. “You know too?” 

“Do I know that you appear to be collecting James’?” she arches an eyebrow at him, “Yes, but then that is not anything new. It has been obvious from the start. I take it there has been a new development then.” 

Slowly, reluctantly, Tony nods and admits what happened last night and this morning. Has it really been just this morning? Can it really be the same day? It doesn’t seem like it at all. 

Peggy doesn’t even blink when he is done. The lack of surprise really does want to make Tony groan in despair. Frankly this is getting ridiculous. Does everyone know? Instead she just nods. “Then don’t choose.” 

Tony scowls at her. Of all the things she could say, that is the best she can do? Don’t choose? Really? So much for that practical sense. In an ideal world? Sure, that might be an option. But here and now? As if he would ever be that selfish. Even he knows there is a line that you do not cross. Both Bucky and Rhodey deserve better than that. They deserve better than Tony too, but that is another issue altogether. How can he ask them to put up with another man in the relationship? He can’t. That’s - that’s just - 

“Do not give me that look,” Peggy tells him, “It is not the terrible thing you are making it out to be.” 

Tony just continues to scowl. This is going to be even more disastrous than he thought if this is the best he is going to get. “Sure it’s not. After all, it's perfectly logical to have a man on the side. Yeah I know,” he waves her off before she can reply, “polygamry is a thing. But that doesn’t mean it is the answer to everything.” Honestly he feels nothing short of a teenage girl right now. ‘I like two different boys, but I don’t know which one to choose. Woe is me.’ Pathetic. Oh how far he has sunk. 

“How will you not unless you ask?” 

He doesn’t even bother replying to that one. 

“You are going to have to talk to them eventually.” 

Which is exactly what he is dreading. There’s no way this is going to end well. Hearts are going to be broken and he’s terrified that one of them is going to be his. Rather he knows one of them will be, but he is petrified that this will cost him both of them, not just one. Third time's the charm indeed. How will either of them be able to look at him after this? Bucky clearly has enough on his plate as is. And Rhodey. Well. 

He wouldn’t blame them if they left without a backwards glance. It would be nothing less than he deserves. Being a screw up has always been one of his skills. Why change now? He should have known better, he really should have. He doesn’t get to keep nice things. Not for long. Although this might be some kind of record. He’s never lost someone this fast before. Technically it hasn’t happened yet, but it will. Happiness has never been his lot in life. 

“This does not make you a bad person Tony.” 

“Thanks for lying,” he snorts, “but we both know otherwise. I’ve never been a good person and I never will be - this is just the icing on the cake. Arrogant, selfish, mouthy, you know what I’m like.” 

“You have your faults,” Peggy agrees, “but selfishness has never been one of them. You have too big of a heart for that, even when you pretend otherwise.” 

“That’s not -” 

“It’s obvious,” she continues over him, “even when you act like an absolute arse and push everyone away it is still obvious. You seem to believe that you are some kind of plague on us. Something to be cured or gotten rid of. In actuality you are a gift. A pain in the arse at times, yes, but a gift nonetheless.” 

Tony can feel his throat close up on him. The words of protest he wants to say  get stuck there, unable to come out. A gift? A gift ? She was closer with the plague comparison - a curse. Tony is a curse to those around him. Why can no one seem to see it but him? How can they all be so blind? There is something wrong with him. He’s known that ever since he was little. 

Howard made sure he knew. Made sure Tony knew exactly what he was worth - that is, nothing at all. He was the first one to see it and the first one to point it out. Just because Tony hates hearing it doesn’t mean that Howard was wrong. Not about this. There has been too much evidence to verify it all. 

Blindly he shakes his head. A gift? No, he will never be anything so good as that. 

Peggy mutters something uncomplimentary under her breath and hugs him. 

Tony leans into it, unable to help himself. Weak. Pathetic. Needy. The dark thoughts rise up, threatening to consume him. 

“We are here for you no matter what you decide,” Peggy reassures him. 

Part of Tony isn’t too sure about that, but suddenly he is too exhausted to argue. He is crashing and crashing hard. Barely holding in a whimper that wants to escape he leans more of his weight against Peggy, trusting her to keep him upright. Slowly his eyes slip shut, unable to stay open. Everything is finally catching up with him and there isn’t a thing he can do to stop it. 

“Come on now,” Peggy coaxes an indeterminable amount of time later, “let’s get you to bed.” 

Tony protests wordlessly, but it is a weak sound. By this time he has lost track of everything, mind moving as slow as cold syrup. His body moves sluggishly on autopilot. Thoughtlessly he allows Peggy yo guide him upstairs and, after a brief stop in the kitchen, to his room to change. 

Shedding his clothes is as far as he gets. Once he is down to his boxers he collapses onto the bed. Vaguely he feels Peggy cover him up. Even more vaguely he remembers that maybe he shouldn’t be here. Maybe Bucky won’t want him here. Maybe he should sleep somewhere else tonight. He mutters something incoherent and is gently hushed. There is a hand in his hair, stroking it. That’s the last thing he knows. 

Briefly he is woken up by another body joining him. His sleep filled mind panics before he recognizes the scent. Bucky. Automatically, unthinkingly and naturally, he reaches out. An arm pull him in so that they are quickly tangled up in each other. Dummy joins them at their feet. 

Quickly Tony falls back asleep, smile on his face. 

Chapter Text

Tony wakes with Bucky in his arms. It’s something that feels so natural, so right, for that he doesn’t remember that anything is wrong. How can it be? With Bucky everything is right with the world, even when it isn’t. Unfortunately memory comes back far too quickly. It’s enough to make his stomach roll with uneasily. What a mess. Still. Things definitely aren’t looking better in the morning. 

He finds himself staring at Bucky’s face, unable to look away. Even in his sleep he looks haunted. Hunted. Small and afraid. There is nothing peaceful or innocent about him right now. He is curled up against Tony as if he is trying to hide. It makes his heart ache just seeing it. Right now he wants nothing more than to sooth that look away. To murmur sweet nothings in his ear, brush the hair from his face, bring back his smile. Ruthlessly he stops the urge. He isn’t sure if it would be welcome. Yeah they are touching now, but for how long? Will Bucky still want him when he wakes up? It might not even be a question of Tony. Maybe Bucky won’t want people touching him, no matter who they are. Who knows what his triggers will end up being now. 

From Bucky’s other side Dummy lifts his head to look at him. Some time during the night he had moved so the he is guarding Bucky’s back instead. He still hasn’t a clue why, but he is hardly going to complain if it makes Byucky feel safer. 

He lifts a hand, but jerks it back once he realizes what he is doing. No. No touching. It does nothing to improve his headspace, wanting so badly to touch, but too afraid to do so. Quietly he slips out of bed. Making a quick stop to the bathroom he goes to the kitchen to find Rhodey already there. His stomach rolls for another reason. 

Rhodey looks like he barely slept at all, tired eyes and slumped shoulders. His entire posture screams defeat. Blindly he stares at the cup cradled in his hands. 

Tony stares for a long moment without announcing himself. This - this isn’t what he wants. It looks like Rhodey has given up before the fight has even begun. It adds to the ever growing mountain of guilt and self loathing inside of him. This is his fault. His selfishness. His greed. He is the one hurting Rhodey like this. 

His fault, his fault, his fault - the phrase repeats insistently through his head. His fault. Once again he has done something wrong, leaving other people to pay his consequences. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair , but then when has life ever been? That’s just the way things work. But why is he always dragging others down with him? 

He must stare for too long though because Rhodey glances up at him. He straightens, tucking away his heartbreak and defeat to give him a smile. “Morning sleepy head.” It is almost believable. Almost because his eyes are still too sad. 

Once again Tony is struck by how strong Rhodey is. Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally. Right in this moment he is the strongest person Tony has ever known. It’s enough to make tears well up in his eyes. He wants to cry. He wants to yell and scream. He wants to throw a tantrum at the unfairness of it all. But all he can do is stand there and stare pathetically. 

Rhodey is up in an instant, arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug. “It’s okay. Hey, everything is going to be okay.” 

Tony clings back as if he is drowning. So damn strong . He should make it easier for him - for both of them. He should push Rhodey away. Put some distance in between them. Too bad that he is too weak. Too pathetic and too needy. God how does anyone put up with him? Instead of doing the right thing, the best thing, all he can do is fall apart in Rhodey’s arms. Pitiful. 

Rhodey continues to sooth as Tony shakes apart in his arms. 

Tony looks up at him, eyes still dry, but sore. Unfortunately they won’t be staying that way for long. Not if he doesn’t get better control over himself. “Rhodey -” The rest of the sentence gets stuck in his throat. Even if he could finish he isn’t sure what he would say. 

“It’s okay koala cat,” Rhodey runs a hand through his hair, “you have Bucky back now. I’m happy for you. It’s what you always wanted. We’ll always be friends, but this is your happy ending come back to you. Don’t let it go.” Very carefully, very gently he presses a kiss to Tony’s forehead. “It’s going to be okay, you’ll see.” 

Tony nods and flees, unable to stay there another second longer. Back in the bedroom Bucky is still sleeping. This is no good. He can’t stay here either. Quickly and quietly he changes before glancing at Bucky again. His feet carry him over to the bed without thought. He still looks so sad next to Dummy. Not able to resist any longer he presses his lips against his forehead, mirroring Rhodey’s action. “Sweet dreams sweetheart,” he murmurs, “Coming?” he asks Dummy.

Dummy doesn’t move. 

“Keep him safe then.” Tony is out the door, downstairs and outside before he knows it. The sun hits his face, but it is no comfort to him. He starts walking, not really paying attention to where he is going. Not caring. All he knows is that he needs to get away. Away from Rhodey. Away from Bucky. Away from everything. It is all too much to bear. 

When he is aware of his surroundings again he realizes that he is back in the park. It is late enough that the festival is open, but early enough that there isn’t a crowd yet. If he had been thinking at all he would have chosen a different direction entirely. People is not what he wants or needs right now. Still he is here so he walks on. 

It doesn’t take long for him to hear the whispers. It takes  even less time to realize just what they are about - Bucky. Obviously, despite their best efforts, someone still saw him. And passed on the news. The whole town probably knows by now. Oh joy. Just what he needs, the icing on the cake. Or the salt in the wound. All depends on how you look at it, but Tony isn’t feeling too optimistic right now. 

Resolutely he ignores it just like he has ignored every other whisper that has followed him. Head held high he marches on, determined not to flee in the face of this. All he needs to do is get to the other side of the park, then he can leave. It’s not running away if no one can see him doing it. He almost makes it too before a call stops him. 

“Stark!” Reluctantly he stops and turns. Old man Fury. 

“What?” Tony scowls at him, making no effort to hide his displeasure. 

Fury comes up beside him. “Let’s keep walking. I doubt you want everyone listening in on this.” 

Tony gives a single, sharp nod before starting off again. Neither of them talk, letting the silence draw out. Tony refuses to be the one who starts this. He’s not in the mood nor does he have any good association with Fury. He was one of the more tolerable of Howard’s friend’s, but that doesn’t mean much. He was still in Howard’s circle and therefore someone to avoid, even now. 

Fury waits until they are alone before pulling out an envelope and handing it to him. “Howard left this for you. Asked me to hold onto it until you needed it.” 

Tony’s scowl deepens. He is half tempted to ignore it entirely or refuse it, but figures this will end faster if he just does as expected for now. Grudgingly he takes it, noting the familiar handwriting on the front. It brings back memories, very few of them good. “Why you? Why not give it to me himself?” 

“He had been hoping that you would never need it. That you would be spared.” 

Not exactly a comforting statement there. “How very ominous. I don’t suppose that you are going to give me more than that? For example why now? Or what is in it exactly?” Because there is something. He can feel it moving around. 

“I don’t know all of the details, just what I was told. It’s best if you read it yourself. Doubt you would believe me if I told you. As for why now, well Barnes has returned hasn’t he? Imagine you are going to need whatever is in the chest.” 

This keeps getting better and better. “What chest?” 

“There is a storage unit I’ve been renting since Howard’s death. The key to it is in there. The address is on the back.” 

“Why should I care? Full offense, but this sounds like a complete waste of time. Why bother? Frankly this sounds terribly out of character for Howard at all.” He resists to urge to cross his arms, not wanting to look too defensive. 

Fury sighs. “Look I know Howard turned into a mean old bastard at the end, but he did care about you.” 

Fantastic, they are going there. “Touching, but that mean old bastard is the only thing I’ve ever known.” 

To his credit Fury doesn’t try to insist that Tony is wrong. That Howard really did love him between the yelling and the neglect and the disappointment. Instead he mutters something distinctively uncomplimentary under his breath about Howard’s parenting skills. “This is bigger than him. This is bigger than you. It’s your heritage, something you should have known about for years now. You should have been prepared. But I am just the messenger here, so if you have a problem take it up with Howard’s headstone.” 

More ominous, mysterious news. How grand. “Prepared for what ? What does any of this mean?” 

“What is the center of anything around here? The Fair Folk.” He continues walking even as Tony stops to stare at him. “I’d read that soon if I were you. You know what tomorrow is.” 

Tony doesn’t go after him. He doubts he would get any better answers if he did. Instead he goes over to one of the benches and sits down. Weighing the envelope in his hands he turns it over with a sigh. Better get this over with. Absently he notes the address as he tears it open. Inside, predictably, is a letter. 

Dear Tony, 

I hope that you never have to read this letter. I hope that this dies with me instead. I am trying to break it and I think I might know how. Leaving this with Fury is just a precaution. He’ll keep everything you need just in case. What I am about to tell you goes against everything I have taught you, but is the complete and honest truth, 

The Gentry are real. They exist. They aren’t myth or superstition, but real and powerful beings. I know I told you otherwise. I lied. 

All I’ve ever wanted was to keep you safe. I remember the day you were born. What a small and precious thing you were. I knew that I never wanted anything to touch you. That I would protect you, no matter what. 

The truth is that our line has always been cursed. Some have been luckier than others. Some worse off. No matter what the Gentry are attracted to our line. It started back in Ireland, long before we came to America. Long enough that there is no written record of just what the first Stark did to piss them off. All we have is oral tradition until they started keeping journals. The details are lost, but the curse remains. There has even been speculation that we are the reason they were able to enter the New World to begin with. Others believe that it does not matter. There is no escape no matter where we may travel. 

Whatever the cause, the results are the same. The Gentry have a habit of interfering with our lives - mischief, heartbreak, ill luck. Those we love most end up being taken. Deals fall through. Disaster strikes. They have almost ruined us more than once. There are ways to fight back, but none guarantee success. Bargaining generally fails. They are as cruel and clever as the stories say. 

I have left you the chest with the journals in it. Some protections are included as well. Use them wisely. Guard those you love carefully. I always knew this would be your downfall. Even as a child you loved too easily. Were attached too quickly. I tried to break you of that not to hurt you, but to protect you. High school only proved me right. 

It is better to be distant than heartbroken. When you chose engineering I had never been so relieved. The metal will protect you. It will ward them off. After you graduate I hope you move away and never look back. Hollow Creek is too dangerous for you. Too close to the Gentry. 

If you are reading this than you already know. They have interfered again. I hope that this does not end up in heartbreak for you. If you do choose to fight, be very sure. Is it worth it? Remember the legends. There are many horrors among the Gentry. Is fighting worth more than your life? Is it better to walk away instead? 

There is no shame in walking away. Not everything is worth it. Not everyone is worth it. Is it that Barnes boy? Are you still with him or finally saw sense? There are more fish in the sea. 

Stark men are made of iron. That has always been our motto. That has been our warning. The Gentry hate iron. It is their weakness and something they would rid the world of if they could. Iron keeps them at bay. 

Remember that. Be iron. Be strong. Be safe. 

Love, Howard. 

Tony stares at the letter for a long time after he is finished. A bitter laugh works its way up his throat, choking him. Disbelief isn’t the main emotion he feels, but anger. Anger at the fae, anger at Howard, anger at the world. It all gets mixed up and threatens to drown him 

Howard knew. He knew and he never told Tony anything. Told him the exact opposite in fact. Lied to him his entire life. Damn him, but Fury is right. He should have known this years ago. He should have known from the beginning. How dare he keep this to himself? All those thoughts. All those rumours. They really were right. He really is cursed - and Howard never said a thing. Not even a hint. 

And then that shit about not caring. About keeping his distance. About Bucky not being worth it. Suddenly his entire life makes sense. Why Howard acted the way he did. Why these things always happened to him. Why he has spent his entire life feeling like a burden. It makes sudden, terrible sense. 

A scream comes next. He has to bite his tongue to keep it from coming out. This? This is Howard’s justification? This ? Why he spent his entire childhood trying to make him proud. Why he was constantly yelled at for making friends. Why he endured verbal abuse and neglect. This. 

Better miserable and safe then in danger. 

More like better broken and scarred than taken. He tastes blood. He has to put his head in between his legs to stave off the coming panic attack. He desperately hopes no one is around to see him, but he can’t bring himself to look. He doesn’t have the strength. It’s just one thing after another, after another today. How much more is he going to have to bear? How much more before he shatters for good, never to be put back together again? 

A familiar presence brings him out of it. Looking up he sees Darcy sitting beside him. “Muffin?” she asks once she realizes his attention has turned to her. 

With hatefully shaking hands he takes one. The pumpkin practically melts in his mouth. Quickly he finishes one and takes another. 

“You know this would have been a lot easier if you had remembered your phone.” 

Oh. He hadn’t even realized that. Then again he doubts he would have answered it anyways. It rather defeats the purpose of being alone. 

“Everyone got worried when you never came back. Dummy won’t leave Bucky’s side and Bucky won’t leave the bed so we split up. Don’t worry, you aren’t going to get surrounded. I’ve called off the cavalry.” 

Something Tony is unspeakably grateful for. Being the center of that much attention is basically the last thing he wants right now. 

“So what’s up? Cause you look too strung out for it to be the whole Bucky thing. And Rhodey thing. And, well, okay, maybe not too strung out, but you are also holding that letter a little too hard. Care to share?” 

Tony only hesitates a moment before holding it out to her. 

“Jackass,” she snorts when she is finished. Her reaction makes Tony undeniably relieved. “So the Fair Folk then eh? Honestly I’m not too surprised. You?” 

Tony shakes his head. There is no surprise in something you already know. 

“Alright then, ready to get this mysterious trunk?” 

Tony shrugs, halfway between numb and furious, but follows her up and to the car. It is easier than thinking. Get the chest? Why not? It’s not as if he has anything better to do. It doesn’t take long for them to arrive. Tony gets out and unlocks the door, still mostly on autopilot. Turning the light on shows that there is indeed a chest in the middle of the room. It is the only thing there. 

“Creepy.” Darcy voices his thought. It is, like something out of a movie of a video game or something. 

Carefully he takes out the second keep and unlocks it. Throwing back the lid, he kneels down to peer inside. The mentioned journals take up the majority of the space. Some are positively antique looking, leather bound and yellow pages. The smell of old paper rises up from it. Reaching down he grabs one and opens it. 

Tomas Starke, 1408

Beware of any kindness done or wish given. The curse has struck again. Oh my dear one, please forgive me. 

Niall Starke, 1512

Some may say that the Good Neighbors are a curse. That our line is curse. To me it is a blessing. How else could I have come upon this great fortune? Me, a mere fisherman. I have been guaranteed a safe living, security for my future family. What more could a man ask for? Let none harden their hearts or grow with greed. Fortune will smile on you if you keep an open heart. 

Seamus Starke, 1692

The Fair Folk have been following me again. I feel their eyes on me as I play. Ma despairs my skill of the fiddle, but I cannot stop. It is in my blood. May they be merciful if ever I am taken. 

Hugh Starke, 1731

I curse the day our ancestor ever met the Fair Folk. My Fiona, my precious Fiona, died in childbirth. Her and the babe. There is no other reason for we had been assured that Fiona was fine and healthy. There had been no sign of trouble. No sign until the life bled out of her. 

Deaglan Starke, 1847

We go to America now. Between this famine and this curse there is nothing left for us. We would have gone sooner, but we were worried that Enda would not survive the journey. She is only three and so very weak. But she  will not survive here. None of us will. God willing that this will change our fortune. May the Little Folk forget about us once we are gone. 

Aileen Stark, 1945

Oh bless the Fair Folk. Bless them. They have delivered my Quinn back to me. They told me that he was missing, likely dead. They told me that I was a widow. But my Quinn has returned home to me and the babe after five months of being missing. Oh bless them always. 

Kaitlyn Stark, 1982

Be careful not to offend the Gentry. Never ask any favors. Never thank them. Never expect anything. Always be kind to those you meet, even the strangest or rudest of people. That is the only way to survive in this family. The Gentry are very real whether you believe in them or not. Take care. I have learned my lesson and others have paid the price. A changeling for my arrogance. Oh my poor Liam. 

As Tony flips through entry after entry and book after book he begins to get the sense that none of them can ever decide on the subject. Some of the events seem more natural or coincidence than others. Some are definitely fae inspired. There is rarely proof, but when there is, boy is there ever. Nothing is one size fits all. Some entries are more helpful than others. The older ones aren’t in English at all. He had always wondered why Howard insisted that he learn Gaelic when he rarely cared otherwise. Now he knows. 

Abandoning the journals he inspects the rest of the contents to find there is honest to god chainmail and gauntlets in there along with some very well made daggers. It is all in excellent condition. How considering this hasn’t been touched in years, at the very least, he isn’t sure. He suspects that he isn’t going to like the answer somehow. Not unless Fury has been maintaining this too. 

Darcy looks up from her own journal, eyebrow raised. “Some wild stuff you got here Lancelot.” 

“You’re telling me,” Tony snorts. That doesn’t even begin to describe it. What in the world has he been thrown into now? 

They stare at each other before wordlessly putting everything away. Between the two of them they are able to load it into the car. 

Thoughts swarm through Tony’s head. What does all of this mean? Is he going to have to fight for Bucky? Is he still in danger? Or is it enough that he has come back? Does that mean everything is going to be okay now? Or is this just the beginning? So many questions and so few answers. 

All of this is enough to distract him from the original reason he left. Unfortunately he remembers as soon as Stan’s comes into view. By then it is too late to turn back. They are already here. Or, well, Darcy would probably turn around again if he asked, but he holds his tongue. He can’t run from this forever as much as he would like to. Damn being an adult. Who wants to be responsible anyways? 

The sickness in his stomach that had went away when he was distracted comes back full force. For a second he is legitimately afraid that he is going to be sick right then and there. Unsteadily he takes a couple of deep breaths that take the immediate danger away. The nausea dissipates into a dull roar. Fitting because it echoes the roaring in his ears. Why does he have to be a constant disaster anymore? Why can’t he be put together? Just once. He’s so tired of being the weak one. 

Rhodey meets them inside, concern doing an excellent job of hiding the lingering sadness in his eyes. If Tony didn’t know him better than he wouldn’t have seen it at all. But he does. Wordlessly he smiles and flees, leaving Darcy to explain what they learned. Cowardly? Yes, but he doesn’t care. If his nerves get any worse then he just might throw up. It is still a possibility. Ugh. 

Inside he goes straight through his room, into the bathroom and locks the door. The cold water is turned on full blast as he splashes it on his face. It helps, but only a little. Turning it off he slides down the wall to sit with a thud. Cold water runs down his face, but he doesn’t bother to wipe it away. Too much effort. Goosebumps break out across his skin. How many more things are going to go wrong? He doesn’t want to know because it can always get worse. 

He closes his eyes and desperately wills his body back under control. This is hardly the ideal place to hide after all. If Darcy is to be believed, and of course she is, he passed Bucky and Dummy on his way in. That he didn’t notice them means nothing. He doubts he would notice much of anything right now. 

Sure enough before long there is a familiar whine and pawing at the door. 

Tony stays silent, hoping he’ll give up, but of course he doesn’t. “Go away Dummy. Shoo. Go bother someone else.” 

He doesn’t. 

Tony leaves him there until he is worried that Dummy will actually break down the door to get to him. With a sigh he stands and opens it. Outside is Dummy - and Bucky. That Tony was not expecting. It’s not as if Bucky seemed interested in him before - and that is him being bitter and unfair. He shouldn’t be taking his problems out on other people, if only in his head. 

He doesn’t say anything, just stares, brows slightly furrowed. 

“Can I help you sunshine?” 

Bucky shakes his head, but takes a half step forward before changing his mind again. 

Tony does his best not to let his hurt show at that. “It’s fine,” he reassures, “afraid I haven’t become any less of a hot mess since you’ve been gone. You know how it is sometimes. It’ll pass, no need to worry about my dramatics.” He gives his best winning smile even as he dies a little more inside. He inches around Dummy and goes to leave. Bucky probably wants his room back. A light touch, barely there, stops him. 

When he turns Bucky is there, arm out, reaching. He is still completely silent. 

“Yeah pumpkin?” 

Bucky barely glazes his arm with his fingers again. 

Oh. Hope flares bright in his chest despite his best effort. Slowly he turns, telegraphing his next movement so Bucky can move away if he wants. He doesn’t. Instead he stays stock still as Tony pulls him into a careful hug. He is sure to keep it light, just in case. He is pretty sure he stops breathing when slowly, ever so slowly, Bucky returns it. 

“This what you need?” Tony asks. 

Bucky nods. He continues to hold on. There is a shift and then Bucky is no longer merely hugging him. He is clinging to him instead. Tension and desperation fills the air around him as he clings. He practically melts as Tony crowds closer, letting him support a good bit of his weight. He encourages the closeness, trying to get as much contact as possible. It is as if Tony is the only thing keeping him from drowning. At this rate they’re both liable to drown instead. 

He doesn’t care. 

He finally has Bucky in his arms again after almost three years. Bucky wants him back. Even if everything is different now, Bucky still wants him. Thank god. Thank god . At least he hasn’t lost everything. Not completely. At least he still has something out of all of this. 

They stay like that for a long while, just holding each other. It could be minutes, it could be hours, it could be years, Tony doesn’t care. He isn’t letting go. Not now and not ever. It will make doing some things awkward, but he’ll manage. 

Eventually they pull apart, but Tony doesn’t like it. He has to fight a whine that wants to escape. Now is not the time to be pathetic. Or echo Dummy too much. He’d hate to give the jokes more fuel to add to the fire. 

But just the thought of them - of Rhodey - has Tony fighting the urge to grab Bucky again. To bring him close and remind himself of what he as. He shouldn’t feel this lost. He shouldn’t. They didn’t even have a full day together, barely a morning really and they were hardly anything official. Plus Rhodey promises that they would still be friends. So why does he feel as if he is suddenly missing a limb too? Emotions are terrible, terrible things. No doubt about that. 

When they make it out to the kitchen Darcy and Rhodey are sitting at the table, journals spread out between them. Bucky blinks in surprise. 

Let the fun begin. “All caught up?” 

“Only you Tones,” Rhodey answers far too fondly. 

Tony doesn’t stick his tongue out at him, but just barely. He collapses into a chair before getting another shock as Bucky sits in his lap. With an umph he adjusts them both so that neither of them will fall. He very carefully avoids looking at Rhodey. “Yeah well it isn’t my fault now is it? I got dragged into this, not the other way around.” 

“Just like always right?” he asks in the same fond voice.

 That tone is going to do him in, he just knows it. “Oh right. Bucky, you remember me telling you about Rhodey? My best friend at college?” he waits for Bucky to nod, “He’s visiting this week.” He is sure not to say why he is visiting and Rhodey doesn’t volunteer. Oh this is awkward. 

“Nice to meet you,” Rhodey nods, “Tones here never really shut up about you so. It’s nice to put a face to the name.” He doesn’t hold out his hand to shake.

That’s fine because Bucky probably wouldn’t have taken it anyways. His fingers are tangled up tightly in Tony’s shirt. There is no sign that he will be letting go any time soon either. It’s both marvelous and heartbreaking. 

“Well let’s get you all caught up and then we can decide what to do,” Darcy’s sunshine attitude is at full force right now. It sweeps everything up in its path, bathing in in brightness. It’s on purpose, of course, but that doesn’t stop its effectiveness. 

Tony listens as Darcy explains everything again. He watches carefully as Bucky’s expression flickers, haunted look creeping back in. That’s all the confirmation he needs. At their feet Dummy whines and props his head on their legs. 

“You were taken then?” Rhodey asks when she is done, obviously seeing the same thing Tony had. 

Bucky nods. 

Tony has to very deliberately not think about that. About how he is the reason Bucky was taken in the first place. How, without him, he never would have had to go through this. How Tony is to blame, even if he doesn’t realize it yet. Give him time, he will. And then he’ll leave. After all who wants to be with the person who is responsible for getting you kidnapped by faeries? No one sane, that’s for sure. 

For that matter, who wants to be friends with that? The risk is obviously too big for that too. Anyone who Tony gets too attached to is in danger. Howard was right. It is safer to keep his distance. Not for himself, but for everyone else. His friends deserve better than this. 

Maybe he should leave once this is all over. Maybe it is finally time to move on. Bucky is back, he can take over Stan’s again. Peggy and Steve will be married. Everyone will go back to their normal lives. Maybe it's time to do the same. Move to a big city where he can be just another face in the crowd. Live out the rest of his life there. Hell Dummy is already attached to Bucky so he can stay here where he has room to run. One less problem to worry about. 

He can leave and live out his life alone. When he dies hopefully this curse will die with him. Everyone will be safe. And if that sounds horrifyingly lonely? Well it’s better than putting everyone in danger isn’t it?
He tucks that thought away where no one can see it. There are sure to be protests if they knew - his friends are stubborn like that. Logic will not help his case at all. Best just to keep this to himself until it is time to leave. If he times it right then he can even get a heads start. With the wedding everyone will be too busy to pay attention to him if he slips away early. Yeah, that will work. Plan made he tunes back into the conversation. 

“Do you think they’ll want you back?” Darcy asks. 

Bucky shudders and nods. 

Tony tightens his hold reflexively. Oh no, not on his watch. Before he leaves he is going to make damn sure Bucky is safe. That is the least of what he owes him. In reality he owes him so much more, but that’s what the plan is for. Stick to the plan and he will make up for it and more. He will be safe . That is all Tony cares about right now. That is what he deserves. 

“Taser time,” Darcy cheers. 

“Do taser work on faeries?” Rhodey asks with a frown. 

“No,” Tony tells him, “Fitzwilliam is just overly attached to the thing.” Plus she’s been offering it quite a bit lately. Maybe he should be worried. 

Rhodey nods in understanding. 

Not that it matters because Darcy won’t be getting involved. No one will. This is his mess and he’ll fix it himself. Somehow. He refuses to put another person in danger. Besides how does he know he is even coming back? Maybe he won’t. He’ll win because Bucky’s life and safety is on the line. But coming back? Realistically there is a chance that he might not. So no, he is doing this alone. 

Not that he is stupid enough to say this now. It will only end in a fight if he does. That will only waste valuable time and energy. Instead they sit at the table and talk. And plan. And order pizza when they get hungry. And joke around a little bit. And bicker. And - well. 

It’s nice if one avoids the dark thoughts. And the guilt. That doesn’t stop Tony from soaking it in. He won’t be having this for much longer after all. Better enjoy it while he can. 

By the time they finally call it a night Bucky is still clinging to him. He barely let go to eat his pizza, let alone any other time. It means that Tony’s legs are long past numb, but he never says a word about it. That might be enough to make Bucky move, which, yeah, no. 

Silently they get up and get ready for bed. Tony has a slight limp as they walk from the pins and needles running up and down his legs. Oh does he hate that feeling. Once they are done and in Bucky attaches himself to Tony’s side again. Dummy hops up, protecting his back. 

“It’s not your fault.” 

It is said so quietly that Tony almost misses it. What? He turns to look at Bucky.

“It’s not your fault,” he repeats, “I love you sweet thing.” His voice is hoarse and broken from lack of use. 

Tony can’t help the full body shudder that runs through him at those words. Oh how he has missed him. Even now that voice does things to him. Doesn’t mean he is right though. He isn’t, as much as Tony hates to admit it. Hates knowing he is the cause after years of denial. 

Bucky stubbornly repeats himself, over and over until his voice literally gives out. He resorts to pressing soft kisses against his skin until he falls asleep. He sighs, finally relaxing a little bit, not looking quite so cagey. 

If only Tony could do the same. 

If only he could believe him. 

Instead he spends a sleepless night memorizing his face. 

:::

The morning of Halloween dawns right and foggy. There is a distinct chill in the air that hadn’t been there before. The fog burns itself off by afternoon, but it still feels like an omen of things to come. A true Halloween day. The forecast calls for sun and clear skies, but Tony still wonders if there will be an unexpected storm tonight. 

When he wakes up Bucky is once again wrapped around him. It is as if he is using Tony for a shield against the rest of the world. The analogy is apt because that is exactly what he is planning to do. He will face down the faerie hord if need be without hesitation to keep him safe. He still has no idea what exactly he is dealing with or how he is going to win, but that doesn’t matter. All that does is that Bucky is safe by the end of it. The only thing that matters. 

As much as he would love to stay right like this, he can’t. Unfortunately he has to pee too much. Curse bodily functions. Carefully he tries to slip out of the hold without waking Bucky, but it doesn’t work. His hold on him is too tight. For only having one arm to hold him he is doing an excellent job of it. 

Warily Bucky opens his eyes, frowning at him. 

“Bathroom,” he explains. 

Bucky let’s go, but it’s clear that he doesn’t want to. 

Tony kisses his cheek. “Be right back.” He scrambles up and shuts the door behind him. Quickly he finishes to find Bucky waiting for him, unhappiness written on every line of his face. There is no hesitation on his part to bring Tony back up against him once he is close enough. 

Tony lays down so that Bucky is resting on his chest. “I thought I was supposed to be the octopus in this relationship.” Not that he minds. Far from it. It feels incredibly good to have Bucky in his arms again. It would be perfect if he didn’t have all of the shame and guilt to go with it. He presses a kiss into his hair, inhaling his scent. He smells like Tony - Tony’s shampoo and Tony’s laundry detergent and Tony’s everything. It helps settle something in him. Reassures him that this is real. Bucky is here. And Bucky is still his. For now. 

Bucky tugs his head under Tony’s chin, lacing their fingers together. 

“Is there anything you’d like to talk about?” That’s a thing right? Talking about your problems? Tony has never done that himself, preferring to keep everything locked inside, but it is supposed to help. 

Bucky doesn’t react to the question at first. Tension floods his body and he burrows closer. The pause draws out indefinitely before he finally whispers, “The Hunt. You have to be careful tonight. He is going to be there. He’ll want me back. Watch for the dogs.” It obviously took most of his strength to say that because he goes back to hiding against Tony again. 

Tony sucks in a harsh breath. The Hunt. It isn’t as if he is afraid, but, well, he is. It doesn’t change anything though. Tony is still going to face them no matter what. He makes himself relax through sheer force of will. It won’t do to worry Bucky more than he obviously is. He raises their hands so that he can kiss Bucky’s fingers. “Thank you for telling me sweet pea. I will. Can’t leave my best guy alone now can I?” 

Bucky nods and presses a kiss to his neck. 

When they finally leave the bedroom Tony is less than surprised to find his kitchen invaded once again. Steve, Peggy, Angie and Darcy are there along with Rhodey at the table. At least they brought food with them. And coffee. Must not forget the most important part. 

Steve lights up when he sees them. “Buck.” He comes over and sweeps him into a hug - and Tony by default. 

Bucky still hasn’t let go of him. Part of him is far too pleased at this. That he doesn’t want to let go of Tony even for Steve. Even for his best friend. Ruthlessly he quashes that down. This is hardly a competition and Steve isn’t the enemy. They are friends. It’s not Steve’s fault Tony is a mess. 

Completely unaware of his thoughts Steve beams at both of them. “Morning Tony,” he adds a bit sheepishly. 

“Coffee,” Tony grumbles into his ridiculously defined chest. 

Angie comes over and hands him a cup seeing as how Steve didn’t take the hint and let go of them. 

“Thanks Broadway I knew you were my favorite for a reason.” He sips at it and relaxes into the hold. This is much better than that desperate hug the other day. Honestly he’d forgotten just how good Steve was at it. How well his broad shoulders and sturdiness translated into a fantastic hugger. This is nice. 

It also helps Bucky relax, seeing Tony do so. He had been a bit tense before, obviously taken off guard. But now he starts to sink into it too. 

And then the moment is ruined - first by Dummy who insists on joining them and then by Darcy who asks, “Feeling jealous yet Pegs?” 

“Hmm, no. The view is too nice for that.” 

Tony preens, playing it up. 

Steve snorts. “Don’t even think about it Stark, you aren’t my type.” 

Well that’s just a lie. Tony raises his eyebrow at him. “Really? You mean you don’t have a thing for sassy, kickass brunettes? Really. Hear that sunshine? That sound like the truth to you?” 

Bucky shakes his head, a small, barely there smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

“I hate you both,” Steve grumbles, but still doesn’t let go. 

“Next time lie better then. Really Rogers that was a disgrace,” Tony touts sadly, “We all know you have a terrible poker face, but still.” 

“Menace,” Steve accuses lightly, finally letting go and returning to his seat. On the way he drops a kiss on Peggy’s lips. 

“Are you just figuring that out now?” Tony guides them over to a free chair. Just like last night Bucky curls up in his lap. “Or did you just need a reminder?” 

“How can I forget when you never let me?” Steve smiles at him, humour and mischief written all over his face. 

Tony smirks back at him. “Someone has to keep you humble don’t they?” 

“Just like old times,” Angie sighs. 

“Their sass was enough to fill up an entire room,” Darcy tells Rhodey. 

Angie grins. “What do you mean ‘was’?” 

“Rude,” Tony tells them. 

“True,” Peggy corrects, “It’s a wonder the school did not throw a party when the two of you graduated. Oh wait, they did.” 

Tony rolls his eyes. “Yes because no one else ever joined in. We were the only sassy ones in the entire school, you’re right.” The thought sends a pang through him. If only - but no. He has enough problems without digging up old ghosts too. 

“Glad you finally see it our way.” 

Rhodey laughs, not even bothering to hide it. He makes it even more obvious when Tony turns to glare at him. 

“Traitor,” he mutters.

“You love me and you know it.” 

Tony has to keep himself from freezing up. From giving himself away. It is a natural response, Rhodey has been saying it for years now. But now it has taken on a whole new meaning. Now they both know how true it is - that and the reverse. As much as he appreciates Rhodey showing him that nothing will change, that hits a little too close to home. Hearing it said so easily is like a stab to the heart. Still he can’t help answering stupidly, “Always honeybear.” Because he may be a genius, but he is also an idiot. 

Bucky glances at him and that only makes him feel worse. There’s no accusation or suspicion in it, just curiosity and almost hidden amusement. 

Although he is obviously going to have to be even more careful than he already was. Hard with the wounds so fresh, but he needs to if he doesn’t want to hurt Bucky with his selfishness as well. Hurting Rhodey is already more than he can bear. A change of subject is definitely needed. “What are you guys doing here anyways?” 

Angie gives him her best eyes, which automatically spells trouble. “Don’t you love us anymore?” 

“Depends on your answer.” 

“In that case,” Darcy says, “I told Angie everything and she told Pegs and Pegs told Beefcake over there. We’re here to help.” 

“Beefcake?” Steve asks. 

“What -” Tony begins to sputter, but he isn’t allowed to continue. 

“I brought the salt. And my taser.” And at this point he is pretty sure Darcy keeps bringing it up on purpose. She normally isn’t that obsessed with it. 

“I have the holy water,” Angie adds. 

“And the horse shoes and St John’s Wort are downstairs,” Peggy finishes. 

“Oh no - you - you are not -” he tries again. 

“We’re your backup,” Darcy says proudly, “The boys can hold down the fort while the girls finish this once and for all.” 

“No,” Tony denies. 

Angie completely ignores him. “God fears when women go to war.” 

Yeah this is going to turn into the fight Tony thought it would - only he wasn’t expecting to have it against more than Darcy and Rhodey. Foolish on his part. “That is not how the saying goes at all and you know it.” 

That hardly phases her at all. “Well it should.” 

“ No ,” he repeats, “Thanks for the supplies, but none of you are going. I will be handling this by myself. It’s too dangerous for anyone else.” 

“It’s too dangerous for you ,” Rhodey points out. 

“But it’s also my family curse so I am the one who has to deal with it.” It’s his fault, he doesn’t say. That will only add fuel to the fire. Bad idea that. 

“Do not be such an idiot,” Peggy tells him firmly, “we are going.” 

“We’re not going to let you face the big bad alone,” Darcy glares at him fiercely, “That isn’t how it works. This isn’t a video game where you face the top boss without backup. Boss,” she adds cheekily, “Multiplayer version only.” 

“What kind of cousin would I be?” Angie asks next. 

“A smart one,” Tony answers promptly, glaring them all down. 

“Don’t look at me,” Steve holds his hands up in surrender, “Peggy’s mind is made up. I’m not stupid enough to try and talk her out of it.” 

Peggy pats him on the leg. “Quite right. In any case he already tried and failed so you might as well save your breath.” 

Tony, in fact, does not do that. The four of them dissolve into a drawn out argument, three against one. Steve and Rhodey are suspiciously quiet, just watching and listening instead. Bucky obviously disagrees with him, but that is probably only obvious to Tony who can feel the way he shifts and flexes his hand. Mostly though he is as silent and still as a statue. Only the rise and fall of his chest gives him away. 

Eventually the argument ends with Tony as the loser. It was inevitable as soon as they teamed up on him, but that doesn’t mean he gives in gracefully. Technically speaking he doesn’t give in at all. He would have kept going, but he had been smartly informed that they would be following no matter what. Even if he left before them, they would be right behind. Hard to argue with that. 

He scowls at them, furious. This is his fight. His danger. His curse to conquer. It’s not arrogance or pride that keeps him arguing, but fear. Fear that something will happen to them. That they will get hurt or worse, adding to the sins against him. How can they not see that? How can they not understand? 

They don’t care though. Tony is going and so are they. No logic, no counterpoint, nothing will convince them otherwise. Not even telling them that they will likely be facing the Wild Hunt makes them back down. In fact it might make them fight harder still. He just hopes they don’t live to regret it. 

Plans are made and different strategies are discussed. Changes are suggested and added until everyone is - mostly - happy with it. Tony still maintains that he should go alone. Everyone else ignores that. Rhodey, Bucky and Steve are going to wait here in the apartment. Maybe things would work better if Bucky was at the bonfire, but he isn’t comfortable enough with that. And by not comfortable enough Tony means he about had a panic attack at the mere idea. So no, that isn’t happening. 

Meanwhile the four of them will be at the park, waiting at the gazebo for lack of a better place. Why not? It’s close to the woods for one. Away from everyone else for another. Plus it is where Dummy found Bucky. Goes along well enough with the rest of the plan - that is to say they are basically winging it after a certain point. Should be super fun. 

Tony goes to the chest and pulls out the chainmail, gauntlets and daggers. Right. Well this all looks dreadfully uncomfortable then. He goes to his closet to find something to wear underneath, Finally he finds one of those long sleeve workout shirts with the thumb holes in them. Great. Perfect. But, um, where did he ever get this from? Is it even his? It is now. Then he pulls out a pair a sweatpants to tuck into his steel toed boots. Oh yes he is going to be damn fashionable in this. At least he’ll be able to move fine, 

Through it all he tries to keep desperate control over his nerves. Now is not the time to throw up. Or have a panic attack. Or any number of things that will only make the others worry more. It is time to be the strong one here. The protector. If he is going to have people with him then it’s his job to keep them safe. Bring them back. No one is getting left behind - not unless it’s him. He is prepared to pay that price if need be. Anyone else is unthinkable. 

The hours seem to drag by before it is time to leave. It is obvious that all of them are restless, anxious to go. Or have this over with, depending. Steve is the worst. He always was terrible at waiting, even worse than Tony. Netflix is out and so is food for the most part. No one has much of an appetite although it is important that they eat. In the end they end up playing poker. It’s always interesting to play with their group and has been banned more than once for - reasons. 

Still it is enough to do the trick. Five o clock comes and goes with the official bonfire lighting. Part of Tony is sad to miss it. Bonfire night is always the best. Everyone is really into the Halloween spirit by then. But he knows himself well enough to know that he won’t be able to pretend that everything is okay right now. He is too keyed up for that. Too focused on the possible battle ahead. 

Finally it is nine and time to go. Realistically no one has any idea what time this will happen anymore than where. But night is a good bet if only because it seems to fit. A place to start at least. The fae don’t exactly keep regular office hours. 

Before he can leave Bucky catches his wrist and pulls him into a deep, searing kiss. Fingers tug harshly at his hair as their mouths move together. “Come back to me,” he whispers, a slightly wild look in his eyes. 

“I will,” Tony lies, promising something he has no right to. They both know it, but they both pretend anyways. 

Rhodey is next, pulling him into a tight hug. “You damn well better,” he mutters into Tony’s hair. His grip is almost tight enough to bruise. 

Tony just nods. He looks up and sees the poorly hidden emotions in his eyes. It is the same in Bucky’s, they just used a different action to show it. It isn’t fair. For one crazy second Tony is tempted to kiss Rhodey too. But no. He can’t do that, not anymore. There is one thing he can do though. 

He pulls him aside where no one can hear them. “Nothing is going to happen to you here, but if you do run into trouble you can count on Jarvis for help.” 

Rhodey blinks at him. “Jarvis?” 

“He’s a brownie that has looked after me since I was a kid,” he explains, “I never knew why, but he’s always been rather protective. Threw a right fit when I moved in here, what with the shop downstairs, but he’s always stayed. I don’t ask - obviously, but I know he’ll take care of me - and you by extent. Don’t - don’t mention this to anyone else okay? I don’t want this freaking out.” 

“Only you Tones,” Rhodey sighs, but nods, “Yeah your secret is safe with me. Now go kick some ass.” 

“Aye aye captain,” Tony grins as they rejoin the others, “Ready?”

“If you’re done with your pow wow then yup,” Darcy nods, “Let’s go gang.” 

“Pretty sure we’re not Mystery Inc.” 

“Well I’m not Daphne, that’s for sure.” 

They take the long way around the park, using the entrance away from the festival. In the distance they can barely hear the noise of everyone. The fire is a bright beacon, but other than that the only light is from the full moon and their flashlights. It’s eerie, walking through the park with no one else around. It’s enough to send a chill up Tony’s spine. The park has never looked sinister before, but it does now. 

Time is funny too because it takes both forever and no time at all to reach their destination. The gazebo looms out in front of them, casting dark shadows on the ground. Strangely enough it doesn’t worry Tony. Maybe it is all the good memories he has had here, but the shadows don’t scare him. It is like he is safe. The woods on the other hand - well. Never before has he been afraid of them. They have been odd and maybe a little comforting, but not now. Now he can barely stand to look at them. 

Beside him Dummy is silent. He isn’t on guard, but he isn’t relaxed either. Alert. They are using him as their warning system. If the fae try to sneak up on them, Dummy will know. He’s always been a little bit uncanny like that, although Tony has never given it much thought before. Now though? Yeah, it’s enough to make him seriously reconsider his previous opinions for sure. 

They settle on the ground and get ready, setting up their supplies. Tony wishes once again that he were here alone. They shouldn’t be putting themselves at risk for Tony’s problem. They should be back at the apartment, safe with the others. Or have no idea that anything is going on at all. That would be better still. 

No one says a word while they wait. What is there to say? Tension is high and Tony would have loved to crack a joke to break it, but he can’t think of one. Besides none of them are hardly in the mood for laughter. Too bad because he could use some right about now. Then again if he starts he might not be able to stop. 

He couldn’t say how long they sat there in the circle of salt Darcy drew. Time still feels too unreliable. But he knows immediately when they come. He doesn’t need Dummy’s low growl to tell him, he is already looking. It is in the way the air moves, the way the ground shakes. It goes straight down to his bones. There is something coming. Something dangerous. Tony stands, Dummy at his side, Angie, Peggy and Darcy behind him. They wait. 

It isn’t long before they burst into the open. The horses rear and stamp, pawing at the ground underneath their hooves. Those that ride have both unearthly beauty and are unearthly period. There is no mistaking them for anything else than fae. The leader isn’t the Horned God of myth, but a pale figure with white hair and black eyes. Pure black. There is no mistaking the cruelty on his face either. He turns to stare at them with an evil smirk. 

“What have we here?” he asks, voice low and harsh, “Mortals out at this time of night? On this day? Here? How very foolish.” 

Tony bites his tongue to keep from saying anything. Not yet. His job is to keep him distracted, but not yet. A strange sort of calm settles over him. The Wild Hunt. Not exactly the way he envisioned going, but here he is. 

“Although,” he sniffs the air, “you.” He points to Tony, “You smell like my lost prey under all of that metal. Are you the one who stole him from me?” 

“He wasn’t yours to take,” Tony snaps back, furious through the calm. It is the kind of fury that clears the vision instead of clouding it. Whatever it takes. He will keep everyone safe whatever it takes . 

“On the contrary little mortal, all my prey belongs to me. Where have you hidden him?” 

Tony smirks. “Some place where you’ll never be able to get to him.” Not with the shop beneath him. Bless Bucky for becoming a mechanic. Bless Mr Lee for giving him the shop. 

“Then maybe I’ll take you instead. Why don’t you come out and prove yourself. You seem to think you can fight, show me.” There is dark glee and rage in his eyes. 

“Why don’t you come here yourself,” Tony challenges. 

“Do you believe you can wait me out? I have all the time in the world. What do you have mortal?” 

Tony just continues to smirk, looking as cocky as he can - which is quite a lot actually. “You talk big, but where are your actions to back it up?” Behind him someone shifts on her feet, but doesn’t draw anymore attention than that. Well at least he knows they are ready for sure. 

“Is this not enough?” He throws his arms wide to encompass the entire Hunt, “Are you so arrogant to believe you can win against this?”

Tony cocks an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. “Well I’m not seeing much fighting now am I?” 

He growls. 

Dummy growls in return, a low threatening sound. 

For the first time the leader looks down at Dummy, actually seeing him. “So thief, not only have you stolen my prey you have stolen a hound as well.”  He clicks his fingers. “Here dog.” 

Dummy doesn’t move an inch, just continues to growl. 

He clicks his fingers again with a sharp whistle. “ Here .” 

Nothing. 

Tony is more amused than he should be really. “Tell me, how’s that going for you?” 

Frustration and rage light up his expression. He looks as if he is ready to fly off his horse in fury, straight at Tony. But then there is a shift and the evil smirk is back. “You may think you are clever now, but how well will you do against,” he pauses for effect, smirk growing as off in the distance there is the sound of baying, “this.” 

Dread fills his stomach under the deadly calm, but he refuses to show it. He will get through this. Somehow. Show no fear. That is what will get him - get all of them - killed now. 

Soon - far too soon - they are surrounded. The black dogs have them trapped, their blood red eyes fixed on them. One of them growls and Dummy growls in return. Well would you look at that. The rumours are right after all. Just because Dummy is smaller than them doesn’t mean he is different. Tony’s beloved pet is a black dog. A runt maybe, but still a black dog. 

He has to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. Dummy. Lovable, clumsy Dummy, a vicious creature right out of myth. It is almost too much to bear. A snort of amusement escapes before he can stop it. 

“Do you find this amusing?” 

“A little bit,” Tony admits. Maybe not the best time to tell the truth, but it is. There is something strangely hilarious about this entire situation, although he isn’t sure what. Maybe it’s just nerves. 

“You won’t be laughing when the hounds tear your little friends apart. Why don’t you make it easy on yourself? Give yourself up to me and I’ll even promise to leave them alone.” 

“And what about your lackeys? Are they included in this promise too?” Because Tony isn’t stupid. He knows a loophole when he hears one, especially one as obvious as this. 

The fae hiss at the insult, but Tony ignores them. He is entirely focused on the leader now. 

“Yesss,” he hisses with annoyance. 

Oh look, seems he doesn’t appreciate Tony either. What a shame. “All my friends, not just the ones you see here,” he bargains, “Anyone I call mine will be safe from the Fair Folk. No harm or mischief will come to them. No tricks or ill will befall them. They will be safe from any of your world or influenced by you.” 

His annoyance and displeasure grows, but then he gives his end of the deal a little too gleefully. Go figure. He must be great fun at parties. “And in return you will give yourself up. You will be mine for as long as I desire you.” 

It’s a steep price, but one Tony is willing to pay. Hadn’t he already considered this option? Not that he even hinted at it with the others, but this is still his plan B. Heart pounding he steps out of the circle without a word. The dogs surround him, but make no move to attack. For now. 

“No!” Angie shouts at him angrily. 

He glances over his shoulder at her, trying to be reassuring. “Plans change.” After all, it wasn’t as if plan A was all that solid to begin with. It was bound to fall apart some time. 

“Yes,” he hisses, “come to me little thief and you will be mine.” 

The dogs part for him. The leader swings down off his horse and makes his own way through. Once they are almost within touching distance Tony pauses. He only has one shot at this. 

“Mine,” he hisses, “strip. Remove that horrid metal from yourself.” 

“Sure thing,” Tony agrees, “but first.” He takes the bottle of holy water and St John’s Wort from his sleeve and throws it directly at his face. 

He dodges, but not enough. Half of his face is covered in it. He goes down with a scream. “You,” he snarls, “you will pay for this for all eternity.” 

“If you live that long,” Tony shrugs and throws his dagger. He misses his mark because that isn’t as easy as it looks, but he still manages to hit his shoulder. The blade sinks right into it. 

He screams again. 

The fae behind him begin to murmur angrily. Their words are strange, incomprehensible, but their expressions are not. It is clear that they are one step away from interfering themselves. After all, the deal only protects Tony’s friends, not Tony himself. 

He reaches for his second dagger, well aware this could be it. There is only so much the four of them can do against the Hunt itself. 

The leader lunges at him, Tony’s own dagger in his hand. It must burn, but he is beyond caring. “I will see you burn forever.” 

Tony has just enough room to move out of the way, but not enough unfortunately. He trips over one of the dogs and goes down, losing his dagger in the process. Damn. There isn’t enough room to move. This is really it unless something drastic happens. Hopefully the deal is already binding and everyone will be safe. He closes his eyes. 

“Hey ugly, take that,” Darcy shouts and there is a thud as something heavy hits. Two more thuds follow. And that would be the horseshoes hard at work then. 

“Insolent mortals the lot of you. Move dogs before I slaughter you all.” 

It’s then he realizes that he is being protected. The dogs are covering him deliberately, hiding him from view. They must be doing something similar for the others. That isn’t a very nice thing to say either. How rude. Doesn’t he know that you always treat your minions well if you want things done right? Obviously not because he continues to threaten. There is a stalemate and Tony isn’t sure what is going to break it. 

Then - a shift in the air. “Malekith,” a deep voice greets, “threatening my hounds?” 

“ Your hounds? They are mine. Just like this mortal is mine. I will do with them what I will.” 

“Is that so?” The voice, probably a man’s, asks in amusement, “You will not live to see the morning. The hounds will be mine to claim then, although they haven’t been yours for some time now. Or are you just now figuring that out?” 

Tony desperately wishes he could see the speaker. There is something about that voice. Something - 

“I do not obey a weakling like you. Half mortal and you speak as if you rule the Court already.” 

“You have already been bested by a mortal, your opinion of me hardly matters now does it? Begone while you still have the chance.” 

“Why you -” 

A sudden streak of freezing air. “Begone!” 

Snarling furiously Malekith goes. Tony can hear him leave along with the rest of the Hunt. 

“No way,” Darcy gasps. 

No way what? What is going on up there? 

“Move,” he orders. 

The dogs move. Tony blinks up at the figure. His first impression is leather, green and back armour straight out of a medieval fair. Golden horns rest on top of his head. That helmet - wow. The Horned One? But then his eyes adjust enough and he gasps. That - that - “Loki?” he asks, hardly able to believe it. Frantically he scrambles up and reaches for him. 

Loki takes a step back. 

It’s like a bucket of ice water is dumped on top of him. “Loki?” 

He sighs. “What are you wearing Tony?” 

Tony looks down at himself. Oh. Oh . Fumbling he strips down as quickly as he can, letting it drop to the ground carelessly. That done he throws himself at Loki. 

Loki catches him, holding him up with ease. 

Hardly daring to believe it Tony reaches up and takes that ridiculous helmet off of him. He giggles, more than a little overwhelmed and drops it so that he can wrap his arms around him as tightly as he can. When that doesn’t feel like enough he does the same with his legs. Loki’s protest to his helmet’s treatment barely registers. Instead he curses, “You bastard, you twice cursed bastard. How could you?” His anger and giddiness mix together with the relief and fear for a heady brew of emotions. He attempts to get closer still. 

Loki lets him, holding just as tightly. “You are more right then you know. As it turns out Odin did not reveal the full truth that day. I am sure you are shocked.” 

“Terribly.” Tony can’t help but snort because screw Odin.

Loki nods. “As it turns out I was not merely adopted, but adopted fae royalty. From the wrong side of the bed and with the wrong breeding, but royalty nonetheless.” 

Tony can’t help but grin into his neck. “You always were an overachiever like that.”

“And you are still a terrible menace I see.” 

For the first time since sophomore year Tony can hear that title happily again. “So what? You decided to fuck off and leave me alone. Do you know what I had to resort to after that? I was reduced to using Rogers if I wanted to snark with someone. You left me alone with Rogers as my best alternative. How could you?” 

“The horror,” Loki says dryly, but there is regret and displeasure in his eyes when Tony looks. 

“It really was,” Peggy agrees from behind them. 

They both turn to see that they are being watched with varying degrees of shock and amusement. 

“Margaret,” Loki nods, “Angelica, Darcy.” 

“Leave it to you Boss,” Darcy says with a smirk. 

“Careful Fitzwilliam unless you want to be out of a job.” He points a finger at her, leaning into Loki more to keep his balance. And because he wants to. Definitely that too. He has spent years worried that his best friend was actually dead and not just another runaway, he thinks he’s allowed this reaction, “Also Dar-dar holds your old title. That’s what you get for never coming back to tell me any of this till now.”

“Even after I saved you?” he asks, acting offended. Emphasis on acting there. 

Tony snorts. “Please sweetheart I saved myself. You just helped me clean up.” 

Loki just laughs. It is his real laugh, bright and happy, that very few people got to see. In fact Tony might have been the only one there at the end. “Is that so?” He leans their foreheads together, “None have replaced you,” he says softly enough that only Tony can hear, “in all the Court I’ve not had a better friend than you.” 

That’s playing dirty right there and they both know it. Doesn’t mean it’s a lie, but it’s definitely playing dirty. Still that doesn’t stop Tony from beaming at him. Loki had learned early on to hide his affection, so anything like this is to be treasured. “The snark quality just isn’t the same,” he sighs a bit dramatically, “I suppose I could be persuaded to give you your title back if you wanted it.” 

“What a generous offer. How can I refuse?” 

Tony laughs. “You’re the best Lokes.” 

“That infernal nickname,” Loki groans, “It is still a letter longer than my actual name so why you insist that it shortens it is beyond me.” 

The age old argument just has Tony grinning wider. 

“Do you think James should be jealous?” Darcy asks. 

“Which one?” Angie replies. 

Tony turns to glare at them. Not cool. So not cool. They do not get to joke around about something like that. A sense of betrayal slices him deep. How could they? 

Loki looks questioning at Tony. “Which one?” he repeats. 

Tony shakes his head. Oh no. He is not getting into this now. Or ever. Never is an excellent option too. 

“Tony now has two different James in love with him,” Peggy answers, “They are still working things out since the first’s return.” 

There is nothing to work out. Tony is with Bucky. Rhodey is back to being his best friend. He is still in love with both of them. What is there to work out? 

“It must be the name,” Darcy adds helpfully. 

Unbelievable. He hates his friends right now. So much . He’d disown them, but the deal lingers in the back of his mind. Until he gets confirmation on its status he isn’t chancing a thing. 

“I am glad to hear James is well. I would hate for all my efforts to go to waste.” 

That draws Tony out of his thoughts. “Are you the reason Bucky escaped?” 

Loki nods. “Yes. I recognized him of course and it did not take long for him to mention that the two of you were engaged. Naturally I sent him back. Of all the people you could have ended up with he is one of the more tolerable ones.” 

Tony clings to him again. The ‘thank you’ wants to spill from his lips, but he isn’t sure just how fae Loki is now. Obviously he is more vulnerable to metal than before. Will he be offended if Tony thanks him? Best to stick with actions for now. Loki could be damn prickly at times before and merciless on a regular day. 

“Yes, well, you were taking such good care of my runt besides,” Loki scratches at Dummy’s head. 

Dummy soaks it in, leaning against Loki and basking in the attention. 

“ Your runt?” Doesn’t that explain a few things. 

“Yes,” he nods, “He was one of the first I gained control over - to a certain definition of control,” he adds as Dummy licks him, “I had not realized at first that he had fallen behind on a hunt. By the time I found him you had already taken him in. I left him in your care knowing he would be treated well. I was right.” 

It warms something in Tony to hear. Even after all of these years he still has Loki’s trust. It’s a good feeling to have. 

“Not to cut this short, but shouldn’t we be getting back before the boys lose their minds with worry?” Darcy interrupts. 

“Yes,” Loki agrees before anyone else can. 

“But -” Tony protests. But he just got Loki back. But it is too soon. But, but, but. 

“We may talk again soon,” Loki reassures, “but first,” he reaches down and pulls a cord from around his neck. A bright - as in literally glowing - blue stone hangs from it. Carefully he drops it around Tony’s neck, “That will protect you from any retribution as well as harness the power of the deal you made. Your friends will be safe although Malekith will never be able to touch you - not that will be a problem for long.” 

Gently he places Tony down and whistles. Around him the dogs perk up, their attention on him. “Come,” he commands. They disappear back into the woods. Loki raises a hand in farewell and then they are gone. 

Tony watches in a daze, fingers wrapped around the stone. It feels good in his hand. What in the world? Right now though he is suddenly too exhausted to care. He doesn’t remember much after that - the ride home is vague and so is their homecoming. Distantly he hears cheers and congratulations and there is some kissing involved, but that is it. Someone steers him into the bedroom and he goes without protest. 

He doesn’t bother undressing before crawling into bed. Someone joins him and then another someone tucks them in. His last thought before falling asleep that this better nor become habit. He was never tucked in this much as a kid, let alone now. Then an arm is thrown over his waist and he knows nothing more. 

Chapter Text

It is early morning when Tony wakes up. And by early morning he means what in the ever living hell is he doing awake before at least eight in the morning, let alone any other decent time? It’s disgusting. That doesn’t change the fact that  he is unnaturally awake and functioning. Ugh. This doesn’t happen often, maybe once in so many months, but he is never able to get back to sleep after it. Not at first at least.

He glances over and sees Bucky is still sleeping peacefully. There is less stress and fear in his face than before as if a burden has been lifted. Looks like last night helped in more ways than one. Good. 

He is able to slip out of bed without disturbing him. Dummy perks up, watching him change and get ready. He half falls, half slips out of bed when he is finished. Obviously he is going to have company on this walk. This, more than anything, tells him that the danger has definitely passed then. 

Before he leaves he writes a note to Bucky so that he doesn’t worry if he wakes up and Tony isn’t there. No need to call in the cavalry again because no one could find him. Stopping in the kitchen he does the same for Rhodey. Technically he should be back before either of them wake up, but better safe than sorry with this. 

Sitting on the counter, in place of his usual coffee, is a bowl of blueberries. Taking the hint he grabs them with a roll of his eyes. “Really?” he asks. Blueberries are his favorite, but it’s the principle of the matter. 

There is no reply. 

Must still be too many people for Jarvis to come out, even if they are asleep. He’s always been wary of other people. Some days it surprises Tony that he talks to him at all. Then again when you’re a kid, and a lonely one at that, you tend to be a bit more persistent when it comes to getting someone’s attention. Likely he drove Jarvis to distraction before he finally gave in. Likely that he broke all kinds of rules too, but what did he know? ‘It’s all superstitions,’ according to Howard. 

Yeah that is going to be bothering him for a while. Then again almost everything about Howard bothers Tony, so it isn’t like this is different. 

Blueberries finished he heads out. Dummy walks beside him happily, taking time to smell every little thing he finds interesting. It’s hard to believe that he really is a black dog. Last night it was easy to see. Now in the light of day it’s hard to imagine. He’s back to being Tony’s lovable goof. As Rhodey would say, only him. 

The thought hurts though so he pushes it away for now. There will be time to think about it later now that everything is finished. Or at least he hopes so. There isn’t much more he can take. The wedding no longer counts. What seemed like such an ordeal when Steve first told him is less than a speed bump compared to everything else. Not even something to blink at. Funny how life puts things in perspective. 

There is a chill to the breeze that blows through Tony’s hair. Yes winter is definitely on it’s way now. The temperatures will be dropping soon. No more nice autumn days. Before he knows it Thanksgiving will be here. But that is something he definitely doesn’t want to think about so he doesn’t. 

When they arrive at their destination - Volstagg’s family bakery - Dummy barks excitedly. He knows what this means. Spoiled thing. Tony rolls his eyes and enters, keeping close to the wall. Some people get so picky about having a dog in here. It’s not as if he sheds. Much. Or that he isn’t well behaved. Mostly. No matter what there will always be those who take offense. 

It’s busy with people getting their fix before the morning work starts. Kerri, one of Volstagg’s sisters, catches his eye and nods. Before long Volstagg is coming out, two boxers in his hand. 

“Tony,” he greets happily, “up bright and early today.” 

Tony frowns in disgust. “Unfortunately.” 

Volstagg laughs. “This is for you and Bucky. Looks like he could use some fattening up.” 

“Thanks.” He takes the boxes. “How much -” 

“On the house,” Volstagg interrupts, “And for the hero of the hour.” He bends down and gives Dummy a couple of his homemade dog treats. 

Dummy wags his tail madly as he inhales them. 

Oh he has no idea does he? Most of his friends are still in the dark about what happened yesterday. Tony isn’t looking forward to telling them. It’s unfair to Darcy to make her keep explaining though. Maybe he can con Angie into doing it instead. 

“We missed you last night at the bonfire,” he continues, “Did you have fun at home? Angie texted us to let us know you wouldn’t be there. We would have come over, but she said not to miss the fire.” 

Fun? Not exactly how he would put it. “It was sure action packed.” And terrifying. And maddening. And basically a roller coaster of emotions. 

“Good, good,” he nods, “Have a good day now.” 

“You too. Try not to eat too much,” Tony teases. 

Volstagg just laughs and waves as he goes back behind the counter. 

Tony shakes his head as he leaves. Oh boy. On a hunch he opens the box to find the chocolate covered brownie bites. Yum. He takes one out before closing the lid again. Next he sets off to the park. It is early enough that no one is there yet so he takes his time going to the gazebo. The decorations have multiplied and there are toys and bits of costume everywhere. They will all be rounded up today and reclaimed or kept to be used next year. 

The clearing around the gazebo still shows evidence of what happened last night. The broken lines from the salt circle. The grass stamped down from so many hooves. A pawprint in the dirt. Even traces of blood from where Malekith was wounded. These details are the ones that reassure Tony that last night wasn’t a dream. It really happened. He didn’t make everything up somehow. There is a surreal feel to his memories already. As if they happened to someone else and not him. 

Some parts though are going to be burned in his mind forever. The weight of the bottle in his hand. The beating of his heart at the first sight of the Hunt. The smell of the black dogs surrounding him. The feel of the dagger as he threw it. All of that he remembers in vivid detail. 

There is no sign of Loki, but then he didn’t expect there to be. He is likely going to be busy enough right now, cleaning up from last night. He wonders if Malekith is still alive. Hopefully not. Tony isn’t usually this vengeful, but he is the one who took Bucky. He is the one who put that haunted look in his eyes. He hurt one of Tony’s own. He deserves what he gets. Besides, even if he could have survived that he doubts Loki would let it go. He’s always been the less forgiving one of them. 

Taking one more look around he sets the box on the steps and continues on. Hopefully he gets a chance to get to them before someone else does. He’s sure to have missed them. They were always getting them to share. Or rather Tony was because Loki did not get along with Thor’s friends. He didn’t think much of them. The opinion was mutual. But they liked Tony - Tony had been the popular one in high school, even if he didn’t particularly care about that - so Tony was the one who bought the sweets. 

He leaves the park behind him and continues on. Where he goes doesn’t particularly matter, he doesn’t care, so he just starts walking. Aimlessly he wanders around a while longer before finally turning back towards home. Home. Is it still? He’d always thought it would be. That with Bucky back he would be happy again. Everything would be okay. He would finally get his happy ending. Instead it has all turned into a disaster. Nothing is as it should be.

At least he won’t have to worry about putting his friends in danger anymore. Loki took care of that. He won’t need to move away. Not for that reason anyways. He has no idea what Loki can do now, but if he says that they are safe then they are. The trust goes both ways. There isn’t much Tony wouldn’t believe of Loki. He had a reputation as a trouble maker, but Tony knew exactly how much that was - and wasn’t - earned. Plus Tony had almost full immunity to his tricks and wrath. 

So yes, his friends are safe, which had been one of his main worries. 

The thought of moving still lingers though. Of going somewhere new where he can start fresh. Where no one knows him. Where no one is constantly judging him. A bigger town where everyone doesn’t know everyone. A place free from the whispers and rumours. 

They are only going to get worse now that Bucky is back. And now Tony is going to know exactly how true they are. Know that, while everyone is safe now, he was still the reason Bucky was taken in the first place. How many people know about the curse? How many people did Howard tell? Fury, obviously, but there has to be more. Some of those rumours are too accurate for them not to be. 

Just what is the constant reminder going to do to Bucky? Sure he might not blame Tony now, but there is still time. After his fear and gratitude have worn off. After he has heard it enough times. It might take a week, it might take a month, it might take a year, but eventually it will happen. Bucky will come to resent him, maybe even hate him. 

Tony can’t bear the thought of that. Just the mere idea terrifies him. But it’s inevitable isn’t it? Even if he has Bucky now, he will eventually lose him. Again. This time it will be for good. There won’t be another chance. 

It’s not as if Tony doesn’t trust Bucky. That he thinks that he is fickle or easily swayed or disloyal or anything, but it was a miracle they got together in high school. It was another miracle that he said yes when Tony proposed. He should have known then that they were never going to make it to the altar. Things don’t work out like that for him. 

Come to think of it Bucky doesn’t have the ring anymore. Or a left hand to wear it on at all. It is a terrible, terrible thought, but true. Not that he blames Bucky for that. He isn’t that shallow despite what people have accused him of before. But it just feels like another sign. More writing on the wall. He has Bucky again, but for how long?

Maybe he should save himself the heartache. Maybe he really should move away. Bucky can heal in peace without the constant reminder. He can find love and happiness again. That is what he deserves. He deserves the world really and Tony has never been able to give it to him. He has never been enough. No matter how he tried he was always lacking. Bucky was sweet enough to forgive him that, but it is true. 

And Rhodey. Oh god, Rhodey. He has barely even begun to process that. It’s been one thing after another after another ever since the party. They’ve hardly gotten a chance to talk alone since then. Only that conversation when Rhodey broke it off before it began, 

Everything is silent when he goes back inside. No one is up yet and the hour is still far too early. He puts down the box of donuts on the table and considers his options. He could go back in with Bucky, but no. Not with his thoughts filled with Rhodey. That feels like the height of infidelity right there. He can’t join Rhodey either because that would be too cruel to all three of them. Suddenly he can’t stand the idea of staying inside at all. The walls feel as if they are slowly closing in on him. That decides that. He flees to the roof, Dummy right behind him. 

The roof has always been where he went when he needed to hide. When he needed to get away to a place where no one was watching him. Where he didn’t have to worry about being judged or fussed over. After Bucky’s disappearance he spent a lot of time up here. 

He lays down, staring up at the clear sky and using Dummy as a pillow. His eyes close in an attempt to help get his thoughts in order. It doesn’t help much. They are still a complete mess. 

Almost immediately they return to Rhodey again. For the first time he considers actually choosing him instead. He made the assumption that Tony was going to choose Bucky - they both did. But what if he chooses Rhodey instead? Would that be so bad? No of course not. He is able to answer that instantly. It wouldn’t be bad at all. It would be wonderful in fact. He hadn’t been so happy in years, that morning with Rhodey. 

But that was before Bucky came back. Can he bear to break Bucky’s heart over this? Hurt him so much when this is what he dreamed of? When he had been through who knows what at the hands of the fae? Can he be that cruel? 

Then again he is going to lose Bucky anyways. Wouldn’t it be better to get it over and done with? This way at least he knows Rhodey would accept him. He already knew that Tony was in love with Bucky and was fine with it. Maybe he could. It’s not as if he is going to wait around for Tony forever. He’ll move on. Maybe he should do the same. 

But it is different, knowing Tony loved an absent man and knowing he loves someone very much alive and present. And what if he is disgusted by Tony’s choice? What if he refuses to be with someone who can switch partners so easily? 

Rhodey has already given up. He isn’t going to fight for Tony at all. He isn’t even going to try. Does that mean he is being a good friend? Or that he doesn’t think Tony is worth it? That he would be too much drama now. Too much heartbreak. 

All of this might be moot point anyways. He still hasn’t told to Bucky that he had sort of cheated on him. That he fell in love with someone else when they were together. It never mattered before, but it does now. Now he isn’t sure if he will be able to push those feelings away again. Put them back in a box, locked away, in the back of his mind where they belong. If these past couple of days tell him anything than he isn’t. Then again it could be the lack of processing time, but he isn’t sure. 

Maybe he will end up losing both of them after all. 

If he does than he most certainly isn’t staying in Hollow Creek. He’ll move and never look back. A bit dramatic maybe, but he won’t survive the heartbreak otherwise. Not with all of the memories here. Not with constantly seeing Bucky and not being able to have him. He’ll move across the woods so Loki can still find him and go from there. 

Loki. After all that trouble it looks like his gift may not matter after all. How can anyone be in danger if he isn’t here? He pulls the stone out from his shirt. There is a slight cold spot from where it had been resting against his chest now that the heat it gone. Not only does it glow, there is a slight heat to it too. It’s warm and not just from his body heat. Just what kind of rock is this? It is perfectly circular and smooth with a strange pattern drawn into it. The sight makes him ache for him. Those few minutes were hardly enough. 

He wants his best friend back. Oh Loki.

Oh Rhodey. 

Oh Bucky. 

Oh god. 

He wants them both, but he can never have them. He can’t be so selfish. Greedy, greedy boy. Why does he have to be like this? Stupid emotions. 

Slowly a cloud forms and crosses across the sun. The occasional bird sings. The town comes to life below him. Tony’s thoughts continue to circle, getting darker and darker each time they pass. Dragging him down further. This is what he deserves, isn't it? His punishment for being such a terrible, selfish human being. For never being strong enough. 

Misery washes through him like a tidal wave. He chokes on a sob, but refuses to let it out. He won’t be that pathetic. He curls up against Dummy’s side in a bid to hide from it all. If he can’t see them then they can’t see him. He’ll be safe. He’ll be okay, just for a little bit. Just for a little. 

He doesn’t  even realize when he falls back asleep again. He only knows when he wakes up to find a blanket covering him up. Nor is he alone anymore. Bucky is on one side of him and Rhodey is on the other. The box of donuts is set off to the side along with a collection of thermoses. 

“Morning sweet thing,” Bucky murmurs. 

“Morning koala cat. Did you decide you wanted to sun yourself today?” Rhodey asks. 

Tony turns his head to stare at both of them, mind not processing what he is seeing. Rhodey hands him a thermos and he takes it gratefully. Ah coffee. Life. 

“Better genius?” he asks. 

Tony shrugs, still not ready for words. Not knowing what to say once he is. This is the perfect time to have that talk. Confess his sins with both of them here. The thought is decidedly unpleasant. It makes his panic flare up just thinking about it. Desperately he stares down at his coffee as if it will have all of the answers. 

It doesn’t unfortunately. It is also gone far too quickly. He eyes the other two, wondering if he can get away with stealing them. Or at least one. 

“Oh no you don’t,” Rhodey warns when he sees, “Remember what happened last time you drank too much coffee?” 

“No,” Tony says just to be contrary. 

“Sure you don’t,” he snorts, “And I don’t suppose you remember just what I had to put up with until you crashed either.” 

“Not a bit,” Tony lies. 

The look Rhodey gives him tells him just how much he buys that. “Why don’t I believe you?” 

“Because you are a mean, mean person who no longer takes my best interest to heart?” 

That gets him another look. “This is in everyone’s best interest and you know it.” 

“Mean,” Tony declares and leans back against Dummy. He looks over to see Bucky smiling at him, the happiest he’s looked since his return. It makes Tony’s heart flutter even as it feels as if it’s been stabbed. Between Rhodey and Bucky - what a wonderfully torturous place to be. He doesn’t know what to do, where to look. How is he supposed to act? What is he supposed to say? It’s extremely tempting to throw the blanket over his head and ignore his problems for a while longer. 

Too bad he can’t. His thoughts wouldn’t let him rest even if he could. 

“What’s wrong darlin?” Bucky asks in concern. 

Is it too dramatic to answer everything? Probably. That’s what it feels like though. It’s getting to the point where this is all he can think about. It may not be the mountain it is in his head, but it is growing and growing in there until it is the only thing left. It’s wonderful that Bucky is obviously feeling better today, but he can’t even concentrate on that. He can’t concentrate on anything else. Everything is coming to a head. And his just might explode soon. 

He looks over at him with desperate eyes. “I’m in love with Rhodey,” he blurts out and then, as soon as that processes, really does hide under the blanket so that he doesn’t have to see his reaction. 

“Oh Tones,” Rhodey sighs. 

Tony flinches. 

There is a short pause and then a tug and then Bucky manages to join him under the blanket despite his efforts not to let him. He stares at Tony for a long moment before nodding. There is just enough light to see that he looks as heartbroken as Tony feared he would. “It’s okay,” he says softly, eyes drifting to his missing left arm. It is clear then what he is thinking. 

“I love you too. Still. A lot,” Tony blurts out next. 

“Alright then,” Rhodey sighs, “guess we’re doing this here. Shove over.” He joins them, looking thoroughly unimpressed, “You couldn’t have picked a more comfortable place? Like a couch? Or actual chairs instead of the cold ground?” 

Tony shrugs, still too panicked to feel sheepish. “Opps?” 

“Right,” he nods, “Okay Barnes, to save us the trouble of working through Tones panic to get a straight answer - we were together briefly before you returned. I fully plan on standing aside so you two can be together because he is still very much in love with you. But he also has a few hangups in his head about everything right now.” 

“And I fell in love with Rhodey in college,” Tony adds. 

“Nothing happened,” Rhodey reassures, rolling his eyes at Tony as if he is being the ridiculous one, “and I didn’t even know until the other day. It is the same for me, but as I said, I know how much Tones loves you and missed you. I’m not going to get in the way of that.” 

Bucky frowns, looking between the two of them. 

Tony whines and hides his face in his hands for lack of a better place. 

“You love Tony,” Bucky says slowly, “and I love Tony and Tony loves both of us.” 

Tony makes a sound of miserable agreement. 

There is a long pause that only makes Tony more miserable before he feels a warm body pressed up against his. Bucky. He doesn’t say anything at first, but he doesn’t move away in disgust either. 

“Plus it was my fault you were taken,” he adds, because why not? Clearly things aren’t bad enough already. 

Bucky shakes his head against him. “Not your fault.” 

Tony disagrees. He disagrees so strongly. How can Bucky not see it? Is he being that blind on purpose? He has to be. There is no other way he can miss such an obvious fact. Tony is literally a curse to those who know him. Just because he’s found a way around it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. 

“In college?” Bucky asks next. 

Oh yeah, this is going to be a disaster alright. Tony nods. 

“Yes,” Rhodey answers, refusing to sound ashamed, “you know how easy Tony is to love.” 

Bucky nods. “Too easy,” he agrees. 

Tony snorts. Too easy, right. Try the other one why don’t you? He knows exactly how lovable he is - it isn’t much. 

Rhodey pokes his side. 

Tony squirms away, pressing himself closer against Bucky. 

“None of that,” he chides, “your head is giving you enough trouble right now without adding to it.” 

Well Tony can hardly argue with that can he?

“But you still love me?” Bucky asks. 

Tony nods again. 

“Even though I’m broken?” There is a frown in his voice - and insecurity. Far too much insecurity for Tony’s liking. 

“You are not!” he snaps, turning so that he can look at him, “What? You think that just because you went through some shit that it makes you unlovable? Somehow lesser? That I’m not going to want you anymore? Well news flash sweet pea, but I still do. I damn well love you to pieces, trauma and all, I don’t care,  you understand me?” Broken. Ha! A little bruised and shaken maybe, but he’s more put together than Tony is. 

Bucky just nods, smiling slightly. 

“Good.” Bucky doesn’t deserve to have those kind of thoughts floating around in his head. 

“The same could be said for you, you know,” Rhodey adds. 

“What?” Tony frowns at him. What in the world is he talking about? Sure his life hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park, but he’s nowhere near Bucky’s level of shit. Being kidnapped by faeries to pretty high up there. What does Tony have to that? Nothing. 

“You’re not unloveable.” He moves so that he is leaning up against Tony’s other side. “I’d love to punch every person who made you think otherwise - starting with Howard. You’re not perfect, but you are so, so good Tones.” He drops a kiss into his hair. “Even when you don’t think you are. It’s your mask that is an ass to deal with.” 

Tony - Tony has no idea what to say to that. Why do people keep lying to him about this? It’s okay, he knows the truth. He’s accepted it. So why do they insist on telling him the opposite instead? He makes a noise of pure frustration in the back of his throat. 

Bucky mirrors Rhodey’s kiss. “The best ,” he insists. 

Tony shivers at the feel of both of them pressed up against him. Boy oh boy what a place to be. Too bad it is also making his head want to explode. This is - this is - why does nothing make sense anymore? 

“You love both of us?” Bucky asks, not in angrily or disgustedly, but almost curiously instead, “The same way?” 

Oh if only both weren’t romantic love. This would make this entire situation so much easier. There wouldn’t be a situation to begin with. But it is and he can’t lie so he nods, admitting it like the terrible human being that he is. 

There is another pause. The only sound is their breathing and Tony’s heartbeat. It is pounding so loud in his ears that he’s surprised that the others can’t hear it. The tension is almost enough to kill him at this point. How much longer until this ends? Why doesn’t Bucky put him out of his misery already and end it? 

Bucky moves so that he can stroke Tony’s cheek. “Don’t wanna break your heart.” 

Tony shrugs. He is going to end up with one, one way or another so why draw it out? Besides it’s been broken for years now. The sensation is almost ordinary by now. It’s not exactly something you get used to, but it’s a constant for him. It won’t be anything new. 

Bucky kisses him, slow and sweet and oh so gently. It feels like goodbye. He turns to Rhodey. “You the possessive type?” 

That - wait, what? Why would he be asking that? That doesn’t-

“More protective than possessive,” Rhodey answers, “You?” 

“Same,” Bucky says. 

Tony would like to point out that both of them are liars. They aren’t protective, they are overprotective , ridiculously so at times. The words get stuck in his throat though. Hope swells it shut. This can’t be what he thinks it is. That would be too easy. Too good. It can’t be. 

“Good,” Rhodey smiles and then kisses Tony. 

That’s right when Tony’s brain short circuits. Pow. Bam. Power overload. Blue screen of death. Out of order please come back in a week. Or a year. Thoughtlessly he kisses back, unable to help himself. Even with Bucky right there , still pressed up against him, he can’t stop. He is afraid to. “What?” he asks when Rhodey pulls away. 

Rhodey continues to smile. “What does it look like genius?” 

“Like you are out of your mind,” he snaps, “Both of you. You - you can’t!” 

“Why not?” he leans closer still. 

“What’s the matter sweet thing?” Bucky echoes. 

“It’s not right,” Tony can feel himself unraveling as he lists his reason, “You shouldn’t have to choose, either of you. And - and I’m literally cursed. I’ve already gotten Bucky kidnapped. And I shouldn’t be in this situation to begin with. I wouldn’t be if I were less selfish. And - and - and we’ll never be able to get married now. I can’t marry both of you and I won’t marry just one of you. And we’ll never hear the end of it. And -” 

Bucky cuts off his increasingly panicked rambling with another kiss. 

“Do you really want to choose?” Rhodey asks, completely serious.

Tony knows that his answer won’t be dismissed. If he says yes, than they’ll let him. They may not be happy about it, but they will. This is his chance to make it right. Still he shakes his head, unable to lie. No, no he doesn’t. He should , but he doesn’t want to. He’d curl further into himself in shame if Rhodey and Bucky would let him. Their bodies are like warm, welcoming cages against him. 

“Then don’t.” Rhodey unknowingly echo’s Peggy’s words. 

Don’t choose. As if it’s that simple. But looking between the two Tony begins to wonder if it just might be. Maybe he isn’t being the only selfish one here. The thought helps bring things into perspective for him. Maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to be selfish when other people are doing the same. When it protects their hearts too. It only makes his hope grow. 

:::

“Steve, do you take Peggy to be your wife? Do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and honor her all the days of your life?” 

“I do,” Steve says, his entire focus on Peggy at that moment. As it should be. His voice is steady and echoes through the Church. He had been nervous earlier, but that is gone now. It vanished as soon as he saw Peggy walk down the aisle towards him. 

Tony sits with the rest of the family, Bucky on one side of him and Rhodey on the other. They’ve gotten more than a few odd looks from everyone. No one has asked yet, but he can see that several of his relatives are dying too. Between Bucky being suddenly back and so obviously different and the appearance of Rhodey - both of them obviously with Tony - they are bursting to gossip. He’s surprise that they’ve managed to restrain themselves this long. The reception should be - interesting, shall he say, at the very least. 

“Peggy, do you take Steve to be your husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and honor him all the days of your life?” 

“I do,” Peggy says firmly. She, at least, wasn’t nervous at all. Or if she was then she was much better at hiding it. But then she always had been. Even when they were kids she had one of the best poker faces of the group. 

Tony beams, more than a little emotional. He is so happy for them. People cry at weddings, it’s a thing. Not that he is going to cry, but the point still stands. No one has to know exactly what he is thinking at this moment. His emotions still haven’t exactly balanced out yet, even with the long conversation they had yesterday . It had been filled with confessions and limits and all kinds of things Tony normally doesn’t talk about. 

It had left him positively exhausted by the end of it. All three of them had ended up in bed together that night with Tony in the middle. It is the definition of their relationship so far. Tony is with each of them and they are with Tony, but they are not with each other. Not for now. Maybe that will change some time in the future, but for now they are essentially strangers. They don’t know each other at all except from stories and the little time they are spending together now. 

Tony is the glue that holds them together. He already knows that it will feel exhausting some days. Like he has to do all of the work. He won’t of course, but he can already tell it will probably come up. His issues can be a bit predictable like that. 

And speaking of issues, don’t Tony is dreading the return of them - his guilt and shame, his insecurity, all of it is sure to return to haunt him. Plus new ones like how will this work with Bucky and Tony living together yet Rhodey living hours away? What imbalance will that bring? And just how are Bucly’s own issues going to show up? What will his triggers end up being? Let him not even mention his worry over possible jealousy issues. 

“Peggy, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” 

Still, even with all of that he is happy. Beyond happy. Ecstatic. He never imagined this ending in anything but broken hearts. He had been prepared for the worst. Instead he ends up with more than he ever thought possible. Bucky is back and on the road to recovery. He isn’t angry about Tony’s feelings for Rhodey. Rhodey is by his side and smiling happily. Both men somehow, impossibly, love him and want to be with him. 

Flaws, curse and issues - they still want to be with him despite all of that. It is more of a miracle than he ever expected. Certainly more than he deserves. Everyone disagrees of course, but Tony still knows it is the truth. He is beyond lucky to have these two - to have everyone - in his life. It’s something he’ll never be able to repay them for. 

“Steve, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” 

They have proved it once again by supporting Tony’s relationship change. There had been questions, sure, but no judgement. No scorn or disgust. They didn’t condemn him for being so selfish in this. They easily could have. They easily could have thrown this back in his face. Instead they showed their support and acceptance for this. Peggy had given him a knowing smile, but she was too classy to say ‘I told you so’. It would be implied. Her advice ended up being just what he needed. 

Between these two now it is hard to regret it. That had never been one of his problems. Regret would have been losing one - or both - of them. Regret would have been breaking one of their hearts. This though, this is something good. He may be beyond worried that it won’t last, but there is no doubt about that. This is good. 

It warms him in a way that has nothing to do with body heat. Between these two, strong men is a great place to be. The love and care and concern. Even the overprotectiveness. He feels precious here, something to be treasured. He may not believe it himself, but there is no doubt about how they make him feel. How they feel about him. Plus the view is great too. 

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” 

The entire Church breaks into cheers, especially from their friends. There is more than one cat call, especially when Clint starts. It gets them more than a few dirty looks, but those are ignored. Tony joins in the cheering, caught up in it all. Looks like they finally get their happy ending. Good.

Tony’s own future may be uncertain, his relationship new and his issues a mountain, but in this moment he can’t help but feel hopeful about it. He can do this They can do this. It will take effort and there will be good days and bad, but they can. They have each other, as cliche as that sounds. They have support. They have a positively ridiculous dog. They can do this. All they have to do is take one day at a time. 

In the end that is all anyone can do. 

For now though they have a reception to go, friends to embarrass, music to dance to and nosy relatives to avoid. Should be fun.