Chapter Text
Nitori Aiichirou was a first year in high school with a part time job, a dream to become a really good swimmer, and really really bad anxiety. He had a roommate named Masuoka Rin who was a second year, the fastest on his swim team, and everything Ai wanted in all aspects. He managed to become friends with Rin after about two months of being his roommate. It was probably harder than anything he had done before, even the hardest training regimen was easier than befriending Rin.
And if he was honest, it wasn’t like being his friend changed much. Rin was still grumpy most of the time, and he hardly wanted to hang out with or acknowledge Ai. But when they did hang out, it was actually really fun and as far as Ai knew, Rin was enjoying himself. And Rin also seemed to be really understanding about his anxiety. He would let him have his space if he needed it, and he’d also bring him water and even take him out on walks if it was too bad. Of course, Ai had to tell Rin about himself feeling anxious, but that was expected. Rin wasn’t a mind reader. He didn’t expect him to be. He justed wanted a hug, really.
They were starting to hang out a little bit more often as well, which was really exciting for Ai. It helped him out a little sometimes as well, because if someone like Rin could like him even slightly, it had to mean that he was a pretty likeable person. Or, at least that’s what he said when he was feeling really anxious and sad.
And some days his anxiety was okay, but this specific day it was not. It was Saturday, so it’s not like it mattered all that much because he didn’t have class, but he still kind of felt bad. As soon as he woke up, he just kind of knew it would be a good idea to put on some of his more comfortable clothes and maybe just take a raincheck on any plans he made. He took extra long to get up, and once he did he gladly noticed that Rin was still asleep. The thought of waking him up crossed his mind, but he really wasn’t in the mood to listen to grumpy Rin, either.
He ignored him for now and went to get some sweat pants on, just so he could go get breakfast and hopefully be done with his outings for the day. He combed out his hair as well, mostly because he was kind of nervous about someone pointing out his bed-hair or something. He was probably being dumb, but that’s what anxiety did. It made him feel dumb about everything he did, and then laughed at him because he wasn’t able to do anything about it. Anxiety was irrational, but it was also his friend somehow, and he couldn’t just let it go that easily.
He sighed and tried to not pay too much attention to himself before he left the bathroom, and then after that he just walked somewhat quickly so he could get this over with. He chewed on his bottom lip as he approached the cafeteria and considered maybe turning back for now. Surely Rin would be okay with getting him breakfast, or maybe they could go together. But, someone probably saw him on his way down here and he’d look really weird if he went back without anything and came back again. Maybe he could say he forgot something? Yeah, that could work.
He finally just told himself to take a few deep breaths, since it was like seven a.m and right now everyone awake was either too tired to care about him or they were busy with things that weren’t judging hungry strangers. He pushed the doors open and walked through the line like he did every morning, trying to convince himself the entire time that no, someone was not watching him. It took him what felt like a few minutes to get his food and then he chose a spot over by the windows to eat. He ate pretty quickly, and for the majority of the time he looked out the windows and thought about school things, which was really good because that meant he was distracting himself.
He ended up going through another internal argument about throwing away his food, because the trash cans were up in front of everyone again and he really didn’t want to do this more than once. But, there was only a handful of people in there at the moment, so he finally managed to convince himself that he would be fine. He had to remind himself to breath deeply through the entire walk, but he ended up doing just fine. He made his way back to their dorm as quickly as he could, and when he got back he closed the door and sighed softly. He jumped rather badly when he heard Rin call out to him, but then he calmed down again and walked into the room a little bit more.
“Good morning, Rin-senpai,” Ai said in a somewhat quiet tone, trying to evaluate what kind of mood Rin was in, but he was just really bad at that mind reading stuff.
“Morning, Nitori. Was breakfast any good?” Rin asked. Ai figured that if he was willing to make conversation this early, he was in a pretty good mood.
“Kind of,” Ai shrugged as he said that, going over to sit at his desk.
“Mmh, yeah. I think I might just go out somewhere for breakfast,” Rin said casually, stretching.
“Are you going out to see your friends?” he tried to ask nonchalantly, but he really wasn’t calm about it. He wanted Rin to stick around, but he also wanted to have his privacy, and he didn’t know which one he wanted more just yet.
“No, I was just gonna go for a walk, probably. You could come with me if you’re in the mood for it?”
Ai hoped that the reason why Rin was being nice wasn’t because it was really obvious that he was anxious, but it most likely was. He tended to be a lot quieter and a lot less cheery, and it didn’t help that he was curled up like he was.
“I kind of just feel like staying in today, if you don’t mind…”
“No, it’s alright. Just don’t think too much about things while I’m gone. I’ll get you something sweet, if you’d like.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
Rin made a sound before getting up and going to get changed. Ai let out a faint sigh and turned around so he could turn on his laptop. Maybe there was a new episode of one of the American shows he liked, that would be a really good distraction. Or maybe he could play some game or something. He really needed a distraction, because he knew that when he was like this he’d find something to pick apart and have an anxiety attack. He eventually shut his laptop again, because while he needed a distraction, he wasn’t focused enough to go searching for something. He picked up one of his books that he was supposed to be reading for English class, and since he hadn’t been reading it with the class he had some catching up to do. It was an extra good distraction, because now he could go up onto his bed and lay down, as well as do something for school.
By the time Rin got back, he was almost halfway through the book, although his class was still about thirty pages ahead of this. Rin didn’t call out to him, but he figured it was because Rin probably thought he was asleep. He was feeling pretty tired, he usually didn’t wake up this early on the weekends, but he hadn’t noticed it all that much until he thought about it. He moved so he could sit up, smiling at his roommate when he got close enough.
“I got you some chocolate, along with some gum because I remembered somewhere that it helped somehow,” Rin said, handing him the things he had bought.
“Oh, thanks. You’ve read about anxiety before?” Ai said, taking the chocolate and gum and for now just setting them on his bed by his pillow.
“Just a few things here and there. For one of my classes we had to read something about mental health or whatever, and I figured since you have anxiety it could be kinda useful to read something about that,” Rin explained.
It actually meant a lot to him, but he wasn’t about to say that. Even if Rin just learned about it for a class, he had thought about him and decided to do a small thing for him. He just gave Rin a somewhat small, but still really happy smile and nodded.
“What did you learn about?” Ai asked, curious now.
“Just that anxiety makes you feel like shit a lot and it makes you worry over really little things. And that anxiety attacks sound like hell,” he answered.
“They are, trust me. I’ve been doing pretty good, though. I’ve gone three days without having any,” Ai said, starting off with a small laugh.
“I think that’s good. Later today we have practice, but if we didn’t I’d offer to go to the movies or something with you and eat some junk food. Maybe after we could, if you’re not too tired,” Rin suggested.
“That’s odd. I didn’t know senpai could actually enjoy spending time with humans, much less actually suggest it,” he teased.
“Shut it. I’m just in a pretty good mood today.”
“I didn’t think sharks had good moods, either.”
“Nitori!”
Ai laughed. He never thought he’d get away with stuff like this when they first met, and now that he could he was really happy. He got down from his bunk and put the chocolate and gum in one of his desk drawers, and then put his book somewhere on his desk. The thought of cleaning his desk crossed his mind, but then he looked at the time and remembered that his all-time favorite show was coming out with a new episode now, and he decided it could wait.
He didn’t know what Rin was doing, but he figured that he was either gonna do homework or watch movies, because he didn’t do too much else from what he knew. Ai kind of liked it like this, where they hung out but they didn’t talk and they were both watching different things, and sometimes they would tell each other jokes from what they were watching, or make comments. It was just really nice and really relaxing, and Ai felt his bad mood slowly lifting from his shoulders.