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Chapter Text

Maggie

It wasn't very often that Maggie found herself nervous and hesitant. Even as a young girl she had always been decisive. She'd always taken challenges head on without fear. And yet, all her confidence and decisiveness went out of the window whenever Matthew was involved.

Maggie had run from him for years, from his judging gaze and expectant heart. She ran until she couldn't, and God had granted her an unusual third chance to make amends. For once Maggie had done her best by him. Not as a mother. That she could never be, nor did she deserve that privilege. She had done all she could for him as a friend and as a mentor.

But no matter how much time passed the knot in her stomach wouldn't go away. Perhaps it was the weight of her sins that wouldn't let her forget about it. Perhaps it was the deep sadness she saw on the eyes of a man she should have protected from harm. Perhaps she was still a coward looking for a chance to run away. But her commitment to God had made her stay by the Devil's side.

Then Lucas had come around.

In a very Murdock fashion the boy was as much of a blessing as he was a curse. He'd taken the broken parts of Matthew's heart and replaced his sadness with tenderness. Her son was more open to her as a result, less afraid to share his soul. But as happy as that made her, for Maggie Lucas was a constant reminder of her own shortcomings. She could hear Matthew's desperate cries whenever she looked at Lucas, and she found herself wanting to run away more than ever.

It was a strike of luck that he couldn't come to the church, really.

It wasn't that she disliked Lucas -he was a well behaved happy kid-, but Maggie couldn't say she liked being around him either. It was just too much for her. She'd rather spend her time trying to atone for her sins than feeling guilty about then. And guilty was exactly how she felt around the boy that was Matthew's light.

The irony was that she was now the one seeking him out. 

Maggie stood in front of Matthew's door, as nervous as she rarely was, holding a Christmas present for a child she barely knew. She'd been there for five minutes already, trying and failing to summon the courage to knock. It was becoming more apparent by the second that her courage wouldn't come.

Once a coward always a coward. She thought with a sigh, turning to leave.

It had been a silly gift anyway. One that might not have been welcomed. Maggie felt relieved thinking she wouldn't have to find out if it was. But as she was approaching the stairs, the door to the apartment opened.

Her breathing stopped both in shock and surprise to see Matthew at the door carrying Lucas. They were both in their pajamas with a bed head, Matthew in sweatpants and a grey t-shirt, Lucas in a red onesie. While Lucas was giving her a curious expectant look, Matt had a hard almost disappointed expression. Maggie looked away ashamed of having once again disappointed the man she should have given her life for.

"I was hoping you would knock." Matthew's voice was low and guarded, but Maggie could hear the pain in it. That only fueled her shame. 

She ducked her head. "I-" 

"Come in, sister. I'll make some tea for the cookies," Matthew interrupted her, and moved aside. She'd almost forgotten about the fresh batch of cookies she'd brought with her. 

"Karen, Maggie's here!" Matthew yelled as he dropped the toddler on the floor. "Please have a seat."

"Thank you," she replied, still not completely recovered from the turn of events. 

Maggie looked around as she walked to the navy blue sofa in the living room. She could count on one hand the times she had been there before, that with her busy life and self imposed distance. It was obvious that most of the decoration and furniture had been chosen by Karen. It was simple, vibrant, and elegant like her, but she could see strokes of Matthew's own more rustic nature here and there. The styles blended perfectly and gave the apartment a welcoming and modern aura.

Maggie smiled.

Even in this they were perfect for each other. 

"Merry Christmas, sister!" Karen said, coming out from the bedrooms almost as soon as Maggie sat on the living room.

"Merry Christmas, Karen," Maggie replied with a smile.  "Sorry to come so early in the morning, but this was my only chance to get away."

"No, it's fine. We just had a bit of a late start today." Karen assured her as she hurried to pick up the empty glasses on the coffee table. "Sorry about the mess. We didn't have time to clean last night."

They had been dining late with Franklin and his wife. Matthew had invited her too, but she had declined. She appreciated the sentiment, she truly did, but they weren't really a family. Matthew had Karen and Franklin for that, and she had her own family at the orphanage. It was better for everyone involved if she kept her distance. There would be less disappointment and pain that way.

"Do you need help?" Maggie offered, extending a hand to pick one of the glasses. 

"No, no, no," Karen replied, getting to the glass before Maggie could. "It's fine. I'll be done in a minute."

Karen hurried to the kitchen with the glasses, and shared a quick kiss with her husband, who seemed a bit reluctant to part. It was cute how in love they were with each other even after so many years together. 

Maggie had known there was something special between them, from the moment Karen had come looking for the stubborn idiot that was her son. She would forever be grateful that -unlike her- they had decided to give themselves a chance instead of running away. Maggie didn't regret her choices, even if she wished she had done certain things differently. She had been born to serve the lord, and she was happy doing it. Matthew was a lot like her in that regard -needing to help others-, but he was also like his father -needing the help of others-. He wasn't suited for a life of servitude alone. 

Thankfully, God was gracious enough to give him the chance to fulfill both roles.

"How was mass last night?" Matt asked softly as prepared the tea.

"It was good. Father John's sermon was very touching."

Maggie noticed Lucas approaching her slowly, in an almost shy but curious manner. Matthew had mentioned that he was a lot more cautious around strangers now, and Maggie had to wonder if he was scared of her. Not that she could blame him. Between him being kidnapped, and them seeing each other so rarely, it was normal for him to be wary. And yet she would lie if she said the gesture didn't hurt her a little.

"He's really grown into the role," Matt commented, in a sad tone. Karen slowed down washing the dishes, and her expression darkened, most likely remembering Paul and her role in his demise.

"Paul would've loved meeting him. They both seem fond of…" she made a drinking motion with her hand, and then added with a smirk. "The Espresso machine."

Matt and Karen laughed, the mood lightening with her joke. "Now that you mention it, I was going to ask you if inviting troubled souls for coffee was a new clergy technique."

It was Maggie's turn to laugh. She was about to reply when a small hand pressed against her knee. She immediately looked down and her heart stopped at the sight of Lucas' intense blue eyes. 

And there was the main reason of her avoiding the child.

Most people would say he had Karen's eyes, but to Maggie they looked just like Jack's. So sincere, and full of fire. Maggie could feel Jack staring at her through them, judging her for abandoning their son. Shame on you! They seemed to scream. After a life of letting him carry alone the burden of her sins, she hadn't even been able to honor his dying wish.

"Cookie namna," Lucas said pointing to the box in her hands, and all the sounds in the room stopped.

Did he… did he just call her grandma?

"Oh my God." Karen broke the silence, her cheeks bright red in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, sister. I don't know where that came from."

Lucas turned to the approaching Karen with a panicked expression, probably feeling the tension but not understanding why it was there. Maggie stopped her daughter-in-law with a hand.

"It's alright. Kids are always saying the funniest things, aren't they?" Maggie reassured her, knowing exactly where the title came from. She side eyed her son, who was trying and failing to hide a smirk. 

So he wouldn't let her run away from this… Maggie should have known. He wasn't the type of man who would accept this kind of things.

Maggie smiled down at the scared boy, and opened the cookie box for him. "Do you want a cookie, Lucas?" 

His eyes shined at the question, and he immediately grabbed two handfuls of cookies. At that moment his eyes didn't look like Jack's or Karen's, but like those of a boy relieved to find kindness. Maggie swallowed down her tears as she stared at Lucas properly for the first time in his short life. Yes, he looked a lot like the child and partner she'd left behind, but she could also see the differences now. Like the softer curve of his eyebrows, the sharper angle of his nose, his lighter hair, and the way his eyes curved towards the edge when he smiled. 

Slowly, the ghosts surrounding him disappeared, leaving only a happy but shy boy with a mouth covered in crumbs.

"I… brought something for him," she told Karen, offering her the second box she'd brought with her.

"Oh," Karen said between surprise and excitement."Thank you, sister. You didn't have to." 

Matthew made his way to them with the tea, a curious look on his face as Karen opened the gift. Maggie on the other hand, held her breath as she waited for the woman's reaction.

"This is beautiful," Karen said, holding up the wooden rosary.

"I thought he could use some protection." 

Karen smirked. "Well, considering he's a Murdock."

"Do I need to remind you that you're a Murdock too, love." Matthew said playfully, giving her the cups, and tea.

"Are you calling me a troublemaker?"

"You are my special troublemaker," he said, dropping a kiss on her forehead, and taking the rosary from her hands. "Here."

Lucas looked up for a hot second when his dad put the rosary on him, and resumed stuffing himself with cookies almost immediately. The dark blue wood stood out against his red onesie, highlighting the fact that the rosary was too big for him. She'd wanted him to keep it for as long as possible, but now seeing the cross reach his knees she wondered if she should have gotten a smaller one.

"He'll grow into it," Matthew said, as if reading her mind. He offered her a cup of tea. 

"Thanks," Maggie said with a shy smile.

She looked down at Lucas again, and the boy looked up at her, sensing her attention on him. His blue eyes shone when he smiled with a mouthful of cookies. Maggie chuckled. She had the feeling she too would grow to enjoy being around the boy.

Chapter Text

Foggy and Marci

Foggy loved New York City during Christmas. The city had an air of joy and happiness that it lacked during the rest of the year. Maybe it was all the lights and decorations that made people happy. Maybe it was the promise of the holidays. It really didn't matter. Foggy just loved it.

He had spent the last couple of Christmas in Miami with his parents, and while he loved his mom and dad dearly, he'd missed the snow and his best friends. He'd been gutted to miss Lucas' first Christmas, and after the kidnapping there was no way he would miss his second. 

Marci wasn't as happy about staying in the cold as he was, but she hadn't opposed the idea too much. Even if she didn't say it, she was worried about the Murdocks. She had dragged him Christmas shopping right after they'd agreed to remain in New York. Foggy had expected her to bring home a bag of seasonal fashion and perfumes, -and she had bought some of that- but instead they'd ended up with a bag full of children winter gear and toys. 

A bag that Foggy was struggling to carry through Matt's and Karen's set of stairs. "Why don't all the damned buildings in this city have a stupid elevator."

"It's just three floors Foggy bear. Come on," Marci called out from her spot on the third floor landing.

"Just three! Of course, no big deal," he said sarcastically. "You know how I know that Santa is bullshit? Because no fat man would go carrying a bag of gifts around the city!"

Marci laughed and walked down to help him through the last set of steps. Foggy dropped the bag as soon as they arrived on the right floor. He stopped for a moment to get back his breath, but Marci was already knocking on the door. 

Not a minute later Karen opened the door with an excited Lucas right next to her.

"Baby Monkey!" Marci said, picking him up and tossing him up in the air. The boy giggled, and asked to be tossed up again. He pouted when Marci dropped him to the floor instead. "Aunt Marci needs a break, honey. You aren't as light as you used to be."

Karen chuckled at her comment. "Merry Christmas, Marci."

"Merry Christmas, Karen." She paused and sniffed the air. "Hmmm, what's that I smell?"

"Matt's special chocolate. Go get a cup before Lucas drinks it all," Karen replied pointing to the toddler who -now that Foggy looked closely- had a chocolate mustache.

Marci's face brightened, and she immediately started making her way to the kitchen. "Murdock, where's my chocolate!"

"Onto-oggy up," Lucas said, tugging at Foggy's pants with a big pout. Foggy melted a little at his new nickname. The boy had started calling him a mashup of uncle and Foggy, and it was the cutest thing Foggy had ever heard.

"Sorry, buddy. Uncle Foggy has his hands full right now."

"What is all that, Foggy?"

"Why, Merry Christmas to you too, Karen," he replied, dragging the heavy bag past her.

"Is this some kind of Santa training?"

Foggy gave her a dry look. "Very funny, Page. It's just some gifts for Luc."

"Just some- Foggy, please tell me this isn't all for him." 

"He's been a good boy, okay!" Foggy finally dropped the bag in the living room.  

He turned to said boy and picked him up, making him giggle happily. "You've been the nicest boy, haven't you? You deserve all the cool stuff that uncle Foggy and aunt Marci want to give you."

"What's going on here?" Matt asked, coming from the kitchen with a mug of chocolate and Marci behind him.

"Apparently, your best friend decided to buy a toy store for Lucas."

"More like a mini store," Marci corrected with a smile. "And like Foggy said, nothing the boy hasn't earned."

Matt chuckled, and gave Foggy the mug he was holding, "Merry Christmas, Fog."

"Merry Christmas, Matt," He replied cheerfully while his friends made his way to the bag. 

"Wow, that is a lot of stuff." He turned back to Foggy with a smirk. "Are we opening them now?"

Foggy gave Matt an ear to ear smile. "You bet."

"Seriously," Karen murmured, not looking as mad as she sounded. In fact, Foggy would say she was trying to hold a smile.

"Come on, let the boys have their fun." Marci said, tugging her towards the sofa. "No one will die from them spoiling the kid once a year."

"That's what you said last week when you gave him the banana split, and the week before when you bought him that plushie." Marci's only answer was to laugh.

So maybe they were spoiling the kid rotten lately. But seriously, could anyone blame them? He'd been kidnapped not even eight months ago. Foggy felt a little sick whenever he thought about it. They were so lucky to have him back in one piece, and he wasn't about to waste any second he had with the boy and his parents.

If the incident had taught him anything, it was not to take things for granted.

Karen sighed, and gave into smiling. "But you two are in charge of cleaning, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Matt and Foggy replied in unison, before Foggy grinned at the toddler in his arms.

"Alright, let's start the party!" 

--

The three of them were sitting on the floor. Matt had Lucas on his lap, in a brand new Christmas avocado t-shirt. The boy hasn't cared much about the clothes, aside from the new colorful blanket that he was clutching. But now that those were out of the way Foggy could move onto showing him the toys.

"Are you ready to be amazed?"

The toddler's answer was to try to get away from his dad's lap. Matt quickly grabbed him and gave him the pacifier clipped to his t-shirt. "Look at uncle Foggy, Luc. He has toys for you."

That captured the boy's attention. "Toy?" he said through the pacifier, while giving Foggy an expectant look.

"Of all kinds, buddy." Foggy pulled the first gift, and passed it to Matt who helped the boy open it.

The dancing Elmo was dropped to the floor, in favor of playing with the shiny wrapping paper, almost as soon as Lucas got a hold of it. Matt tried to stop him, and get him to play with Elmo, but all they got in reply was a heated "No!"

"You have a hard public today, Foggy bear," Marci said from her spot on the sofa. 

"Don't worry." He wouldn't be deterred so easily. He was determined to give Lucas his best Christmas present yet. "There's more where that came from."

The Elmo was soon joined by a banana plushie that had been tasted and immediately discarded. The wooden puzzled was met with a face and thrown to the other side of the room. The Play-Doh set had finally captured the boy's attention, and all the adults held their breath as the toddler tried it. Then Lucas had realized how sticky it was, and his curious look turned into a funny mix of disgust and fright. They had to take a small hot cocoa break while Matt cleaned his son's hands.

By the 8th gift Lucas had grown tired, and was trying to rest on Matt's shoulder 

"Sorry, Fog," Matt said sheepishly as he rubbed the irritated boy's back. "He's really picky about his toys."

"No, I get it. His powers make him picky." Foggy smirked. "But don't underestimate me. I-" He pulled a big present from the bag. "Have a trump card."

"I don't know, Foggy. He looks tired, maybe after his nap?" Karen said as she stood from the sofa.

"Just this last one. He'll love it. I'm sure of it." Karen looked at Matt who nodded, and sighed before sitting at her husband's side. Foggy beamed at her and pushed the present towards his friends.

Karen opened it this time, and her eyes widened a little at the sight of the bright red scooter. 

"It's the perfect gift to get him to visit the park again!"

Ever since the kidnapping, Lucas had refused to go out and play at the park. He was overwhelmed to be around strangers now, and Foggy knew that it was stressing Matt and Karen. Even with the therapy, they were worried he wouldn't be ready for Pre-K on time. Getting him integrated had been hard enough with his powers alone, and now they had to deal with the kidnapping trauma too. That's why Foggy was trying his best to help. Even if all he could do was shower him with gifts that would make him more curious about the world around him.

"It's really cute." Karen said with a smile.

"Should we try it?" Matt asked, already sitting Lucas on the small vehicle.

"He looks adorable," Marci said, standing beside Karen to take a picture. "You'll have a hard time keeping the girls away."

Sadly, Lucas wasn't as amused as the adults about the toy, and he started pouting as soon as he was put on the scooter.

 "Oh, no, no. Don't cry, baby monkey," Marci said in panic, trying to calm down the boy. It was too late, a few seconds later the toddler was crying his heart out. He lifted up his arms towards Karen, who immediately picked him up and cuddled him. She left the living room, rubbing his back and whispering softly to him.

Foggy was left there feeling like a dick for pushing. 

It was funny how he usually was on point about what Matt and Lucas needed, but really off on how to help them get it. Whenever he felt like he was bothering more than helping, he wondered if he was better off just letting them be. During college, he had been Matt's sole support system. That wasn't the case anymore. He had Karen, Maggie, and the other heroes now. To be honest, Foggy felt more and more like he was on the periphery of his best friend's life.

It had felt that way since Lucas birth. He loved the boy to pieces, but it was obvious that Matt and Karen were struggling, and they were keeping that struggle from him. Foggy got it. It was their kid. His problems were between the two of them, but it hurt because at some point Matt's and Karen's problem had been Foggy's too. Perhaps that was part of why he pushed so hard to get Lucas to like him, because getting the boy's affection might bring him back to the inner circle.

Foggy sighed. 

"Foggy-"

"It's okay," he interrupted him, hoping Matt wouldn't push the issue. "We'll find something he likes eventually."

"I'm sure we will," Marci said with a kiss to his forehead. "Now, come help me finish this bottle."

--

An hour later, Lucas had been put to nap, and the adults found themselves exchanging gifts and stories in the living room. They were down to the second bottle of Marci's expensive wine, and with the tipsiness came the daring games and embarrassing stories.

Like that one time a distracted Matt had walked into Foggy and Marci during college, and Foggy thought he had successfully pretended that he was alone. Well… so much for that. That's one event he had been happy to forget about, but of course Karen had to ask for the embarrassing college stories. She seemed to never get tired of those. The devious investigator was now red from wine and laughing, while Matt hid his smirk behind his can of cheap beer, and Marci looked at her wine like she wanted to drown in it.

"As if I'm the only one who has been walked into." He looked at Karen with narrowed eyes and a smirk. His friend tensed at the look, her face turning an even brighter shade of red.

Marci's eyes glinted at the comment, and she smirked at her husband. "Do you have anything to share, Foggy bear?"

"Well, Wendy told me the other day that sh-" Karen's hand cut the rest of his sentence.

"Hey, not fair Page!" Marci exclaimed, trying to get Karen's hands away from Foggy's mouth. "I let Murdock share his one. I deserve to hear all your dirty bits!"

"Wait, did I miss something?" Matt asked, looking at his wife with an amused look.

"Nothing happened!" Karen insisted, resisting Marci's pull on her arms.

In all this Foggy's eyes landed on the empty napping mat in Lucas' corner. He pointed at it and tried to warn them, but the girls continued bickering about the topic. It took him a moment to break free from Karen's hands, and he immediately asked "Where's Lucas?"

Marci and Karen blinked at him, and then looked at where the boy was supposed to be sleeping. Their eyes widened in panic before they turned to Matt in question.

Matt chuckled, pointing at the scooter box. "He's in the box."

Foggy could now hear something moving inside of it, and the sound got the closer they got to the box. It sounded like he was scratching the box or rubbing something against it.

"What are you doing, silly boy?" Karen asked squatting so she could see inside the box.

Foggy imitated her and squinted his eyes to see inside the dark space. Lucas was staring back at them with shiny blue eyes, a bunch of crayons around him.

"Hey, buddy. It's so dark in there. Why don't you come out here?" he said, extending a hand towards the boy. 

Lucas crawled out with his crayon in hand, and Foggy took out his cellphone to shine some light into the box. The inside of the box exploded in colors and shapes. Most of them were just weird doodles and deformed lines, but Foggy could make some interesting shapes and compositions. It seemed Lucas had inherited Karen's artistic side.

"Wow, you drew a lot, baby monkey. How can you even see what you are doing in there?" Marci asked the boy who just smiled at her.

"Enhanced sight." Matt explained. "He has better night vision than the regular person."

"Really?" Foggy ruffled the boy's hair. "You're pretty amazing kid."

Lucas grabbed his hand in reply, and for a second Foggy thought he didn't want to be touched. He tugged at the hand when Foggy tried to take it back, and pointed at a drawing on the bottom lid of the box.

"I think he wants to show you something, Foggy," Karen told him, nudging him forward. Foggy looked at the drawing more closely, and gasped.

"Is that- is that me?" It was hard to tell. The drawing wasn't much more than a weird shaped stick figure, but foggy could see some resemblance. There were other figures at his side, two with blonde hair, a big red one, and a small red one in the middle.

"I think that's all of us." Marci said a little out of breath, just as taken aback as her husband.

"That's so cute, Luc!" Karen said, kneeling bring the boy into a hug, who smiled proudly with his pacifier.

Foggy noticed Matt standing a bit awkwardly behind everyone. He almost face palmed. Of course his friend couldn't see the drawings.

"Your kid is the stick figure master. From left to right, there's stick Marci, stick me, stick Lucas, stick you, and stick Karen. Yours is all red by the way." Matt expression went from happy to tense and as soon as he heard the word red. "Don't worry no mask, or anything. He's a mini red too. It's really cute."

Matt chuckled. "I think someone's taking Frank too seriously." Foggy cocked his head to the side, and was about to ask what he meant when Matt clapped his back. "Thanks Fog."

Foggy smiled at him, loving how grateful Matt sounded. "Any time partner."

He looked back at the Marci and Karen, who were now being shown all the drawings by the excited Lucas. 

"At least he likes the boxes."

Matt laughed. "That he does."

"And now I know what to get him for his birthday." 

If what Lucas enjoyed was drawing, then he was getting all the art supplies uncle Foggy could find.

"Just don't get him markers or paint, or Karen will drop him off at your place when he starts crying because of the rashes."

"Duly noted… but I don't mind looking after him, you know that right?"

"I do." Matt smiled softly, and patted his shoulder. "I mean, you did say he was your new mischief partner. You still need to train him to surpass me."

Foggy beamed. "Ha! You better watch your back Murdock. That kid will be giving you a run for your money in a couple of years."

Matt laughed. "If he's anything like the three of us, I don't doubt it."

So maybe he'd jumped the gun thinking they were no longer a family. They were just a different one now, and Foggy loved it just as much as he loved Christmas.

Chapter Text

Paxton 

Karen had frozen in place the moment she saw the address and name on the package. It had been so long since she'd seen it written anywhere, but even after so many years it felt familiar. Not quite like home now, but close to it. 

Paxton Page
239 Kings Rd
Fangan Corners, Vermont.

It took a considerable amount of willpower not to drop everything else and open the package right there. Even then she couldn't stop herself from skipping a couple of steps in excitement on her way up to the apartment. It was hard to believe that her father -who wouldn't even call her for Christmas- had sent her something. To be honest she was nervous. She couldn't imagine a scenario in which her father would send her something that would make her happy.

Still she hoped, like she had done since the day he had kicked her from the only home she'd known.

The door closed loudly behind her, alerting her boys of her arrival. She struggled to take her shoes off quickly with one hand before hurrying to the living room, and dropping the letters and bills on the coffee table. She had just sat down on the couch when Matt came out of the baby's room carrying Lucas. 

"Hey, you're early," he commented in a happy tone, leaning down to steal a kiss.

She smiled against his lips, letting him take her mind off the package for a moment. "My 4 pm cancelled."

"Lucky us," he said, passing her the babbling Lucas.

"Hello sunshine!" She kissed the boy's nose. 

Lucas hugged her neck and laughed. "Nana!"

Karen rested her cheek against his head, his soft spiky hair tickling her nose. He smelled like home. Like them. "Did you miss mommy, Luc?"

"We always do." Karen's heart skipped a beat at the solemnity of Matt's tone. He had always been good at making her stomach flutter, her heart race, and her skin heat. But their years together had made him a master of it. 

She closed her eyes and tilted her chin, silently begging him for another kiss. Matt laughed and captured her lips again, more than happy to comply with her request. When they parted Matt cocked his head and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 

"What's that?" 

Karen was just as confused at first, not sure of what he meant, and then her mind clicked back to the package. She gave him a nervous smile, knowing that her husband and father didn't see eye to eye. 

"A package from my dad, must be this year's Christmas miracle."

"Oh." Once again Karen's heart skipped a beat, this time for a completely different reason.

"Should I be worried?"

"Not really." She could hear the unspoken "but" in his tone, and that didn't help her with her fear. 

Maybe it was better if she put it in the closet to be forgotten. That way she didn't have to find out what was hidden inside, and she could take solace in the fact that her dad cared enough to know her address and send something. 

Then Lucas clapped his hands against the box and babbled in excitement. "Nana!" 

"It smells a bit like you," Matt explained. "...And someone else." 

Her heart split between hope and fear. She was curious to know what her father had sent her, what was so important for him to break his silence, but she was so scared she wouldn't like it. Karen looked at Matt with a silent question. "It's your choice." 

One deep breath later she was dropping Lucas to her side and opening the package.

Karen struggled with the tape for a moment, having to go fetch scissors, and then her whole body froze when she finally opened it. The box was filled with packing peanuts, and in the center of it lay an old fire truck and a note. She recognized the toy immediately. How could she not? It was Kevin's  favorite, and a constant part of her childhood memories. 

"Karen?" Matt said worried. His voice snapped her out of her trance and she reached for the note with a trembling hand.

There was just one small sentence in it. 

"For my grandson," she read out loud. 

There was no signature, and nothing to commemorate the holidays either. He hadn't even used Lucas' name, maybe he hadn't cared enough or maybe he didn't remember it at all. Either way the toy made her stomach turn, and her head spin with memories. Kevin playing. Kevin laughing. Kevin just being young and happy. Oblivious to his fate, and the fact that the sister he so often chased after would end up killing him.

Karen swallowed, her bottom lip trembling as she tried to hold back tears. Why had he chosen to send that of all things? Did he mean to pass her sins onto Lucas? Or was this just another way to remind her of what she had done? 

Karen wanted to scream, and throw the truck against the wall. She wanted to smash the memories into pieces until they were nothing but dust, so that they could never hurt her again. But she couldn't, because she loved those memories despite their pain. She wanted to embrace them, and indulge herself by remembering things she shouldn't have a right to enjoy anymore.

"Was it your brother's?" Matt asked, teeth clenched in barely contained rage. 

"Don't," she said firmly, knowing where he was going and not wanting to hear it.

She hated when her dad made her cry in front of him. Their marriage had started that way, with Matt holding her as she cried because of her father's cold words. He'd never forgiven the man for it, and for everything that came before and after. Karen couldn't blame Matt for disliking him, just like she couldn't blame her dad for not wanting anything to do with her. It was in the end the fault of her own choices that lead them there.

"I'll put it in the closet," she informed him, cleaning the few tears that had found their way to her cheeks. Matt didn't reply, or turn to her when she looked at him. Karen was sure he would have preferred to send it back, but she couldn't find the will to do it. If only because of Kevin. She was about to stand and take the box to their room when she realized Lucas had taken the toy from the box. 

"Luc!"

The ten months old looked up and babbled something that might or might not have been "truck" while showing it to her. He looked so innocent and happy holding the toy, and it brought back some really old memories about it.

Look, K. I got a fire truck! Kevin had told her proudly. He had wanted to play with her, but she'd been busy with her own toys. Kevin would laugh at her if he could see her son giving her that same look over the same toy so many years later. Maybe it was all Karma for not playing with him back then.

She bit her lower lip in hesitation, before dropping the box and bringing Lucas to her lap. "Yes, it's a pretty truck for you." She took his hand, and brought the toy closer to her so she could extend the small ladder like she'd seen Kevin do many times before. "Look it has a ladder too."

"Karen…" Matt's voice made her pause, but her gaze remained on the toy and on Lucas' exploring hand.

"It's Kevin's gift to Lucas," she said after a brief moment. She didn't care if that was her father's intention or not. She wanted Lucas to have something from Kevin. "He would have wanted for Lucas to have it."

Matt didn't reply. Instead, he walked around the couch and stopped in front of her. Karen's gaze fixed on his socks, nervous to look up and face his emotions. Then he was sitting down next to her and bringing Lucas to his lap. 

"You're too kind, Karen," he said with a kiss to her temple. He was smiling softly when she finally looked at him, and she sighed relieved. He wouldn't oppose to the idea then.

"I'm not, but I like hearing you say it." She brought her feet up on the couch and snuggled against him. "Thank you."

Chapter Text

Matt

It had been a while since Matt had gotten injured during Christmas Eve. It used to be that he was indisposed every other Christmas. Foggy and Karen had gotten used to him skipping the office party, and making excuses about his absence. The curious Wendy would always have this skeptical look about it, but she would never question their ludicrous excuses. Once they had started living together, Karen had gotten used to tending him during the bad nights. 

Those nights included some Christmas.

Matt always felt bad about those, insisting that she went out with Foggy no matter how much she told him she wouldn't want to be anywhere else. He would sulk for the longest time, about her staying, about his pain, and not being able to go out on a day people desperately needed hope. Eventually, he would cave in and let her pamper him, just a little, and not without a lot of sulking.

Like most things, their Christmas ritual had changed with Lucas. 

Karen had noticed the change immediately. He'd spent less time outside and come back less banged up during her pregnancy. That Christmas had been the first one he'd accompanied her to the Ellison's party, and the first time in forever that he showed up at their own. Wendy had been astonished, and spent the night giving Matt suspicious glances.Then Lucas first Christmas had come. Matt hadn't gone out much that whole December. Instead Danny had covered for him, as his gift for the baby. Then the second Christmas had come with Matt at home playing with Lucas, and Karen had started getting used to their new normal.

Of course, things were never that easy when you were married to Matt Murdock.

In hindsight she should have seen it coming. The older Lucas grew the more restless Matt got. Karen had witnessed his struggle during the Alkali incident. He was split between the want to be with his family, and the need to be Daredevil. The light duty wasn't enough for him. He needed to feel that he was doing his best for both sides, but excelling at one usually meant neglecting the other.

The kidnapping had shifted things in their favor, with Matt sticking around more than usual, but as time passed Daredevil's pull got stronger. What followed was probably inevitable. Matt had finally gotten all beaten up a couple of days before Lucas third Christmas.

Karen wasn't annoyed by it, she never was. She was concerned. Not just because her husband was in bed under heavy painkillers, but because the whole thing now included the poor Lucas who didn't understand what was happening. 

She had to drop him at Foggy's before getting Matt from the church. He'd spent a whole day there, asking about both of his parents. When he'd finally come back home he'd been extra confused about not being allowed to see Matt. Karen had found him in their room that afternoon, trying to wake up his dad. He'd been dragged out of the room and lectured about letting daddy rest, but the stubborn kid wouldn't give up.

The morning of Christmas Eve had been a game of cat and mouse with Lucas trying and failing to slip inside the room again. Eventually he succeeded. Damn those ninja genes. Karen found him trying to read his picture book to a drug hazed Matt. Lucas had given him his favorite blanket and plushie, while her husband obviously struggled to stay awake and engage him.

It was heartbreaking, especially after Matt had fallen back asleep and Lucas had remained there playing by himself.

"I didn't even get him a gift," Matt told her that night with a bandaged arm over his eyes, hiding his silent tears.

"Hey, it's okay," she replied, holding back her own tears. "I'm sure Foggy got more than enough to cover for everyone. You know he's trying to beat Santa."

The small joke fell flat, and Matt bit his lip instead of laughing like she'd hoped. After a moment he tried to sit up with a loud pained groan.

"Matt! You're gonna open the stitches, you idiot!"

He struggled against her hand for almost five seconds before dropping back down like a lifeless toy. He didn't move or make any sounds after that, but Karen could see a storm brewing behind his eyes.

"Matt?" She asked worriedly.

"Can you get me my phone?" There was defeat in his voice, and something else that Karen wasn't familiar with.

She didn't hesitate to run to get his cellphone. Matt stared at the ceiling for a while after she passed it to him. Karen was about to ask if he was alright when he sighed and made a call. Two rings and she heard someone pick up on the other side. A man, but she couldn't tell who.

"Hey. Sorry to call this late, but I need a favor."

--

Lucas was the first one up the next morning. He'd started getting out of his crib alone lately. So of course Karen had woken up the morning of Christmas being tapped on the face by her overly excited toddler.

"Mommy, tree!' he said sounding more happy than anyone ought to be in the morning. Karen and Matt weren't morning people, but apparently Lucas was. She was still holding hope that it would change as he grew older, but she was starting to believe that he'd inherited her father's and Kevin's morning person nature. "Mommy!"

"I'm going." She yawned, wishing she could sleep for at least another hour. 

All her sleepiness went away when Lucas stepped back and sprinted around the bed to wake up Matt. Karen was up and running after him in an instant. She barely got him in time to stop him from tapping Matt's face. 

"Noooo, daddy tree!" He yelled, struggling against her grip on his wrist. 

"Daddy need to rest, Luc. He can't come." 

"No!" he insisted, starting to cry.

Matt groaned, his eyes moving behind his eyelids as he started to wake. Damn it. Karen picked up their toddler and left the room as quickly as she could, hoping Matt hadn't heard. She knew he would try to get up and hurt himself if he heard Lucas crying.

"Luc," she started, kneeling in front of the crying child. "Look at me, Luc."

"No. I want Daddy."

"Daddy, is sick, remember? You want him to get better and play with you, no?"

The boy sniffled a few times, and stopped crying to nod at her.

"Then you have to be good and let daddy rest. You can show him all your new toys when he's better, okay?" Lucas pouted and more tears left his eyes but at least he didn't scream again. "Come on, let's open the presents."

To Karen's absolute surprise the toddler dropped to the floor with his arms crossed and a frown.

"No, with Daddy."

And that was it. 

There was no swaying the boy after that. Not when she had tried to open the presents without him -that had earned her a panicked scream-. Not with food and candies, or with promises to go visit Franklin and the aquarium. The damned kid had remained sitting on the floor with an angry scowl, not even moving for his milk.

If anyone had ever doubted that Lucas was Matt's son, then this was proof enough. That streak of stubbornness was undoubtedly a Murdock trait. 

Karen was at the end of her wits, when they heard someone knock on the window. Her first instinct was to run and get her gun, but then she remembered Matt's call last night. A big smile appeared on her lips. 

That might just work.

Lucas followed her with curious eyes as she walked to the window. He stood up, eyes wide like a saucer when she opened the window and someone entered.

"Pider-Man!" He yelled, tantrum apparently forgotten.

"Hey, I hope I'm not too late," the red and blue superhero said.

"Not at all. Merry Christmas and thanks for coming."

"Merry Christmas, Mrs D. Ah! I mean, Mrs Murdock."

Karen chuckled. "Karen's fine."

"Alright-" He looked like he was going to say something else when Lucas crashed against him, almost making him lose his balance.

"Mommy, is Pider-Man!" He screamed as excited as Karen had ever heard him.

Karen laughed, relieved to see him happy again. Peter -that was his name if Karen remembered correctly- kneeled down to be at the toddler's level. 

"Hey buddy. What's your name?"

"Luc," he said, suddenly sounding shy. "You're Pider-Man."

Peter chuckled. "I am. Your dad asked me to come say Merry Christmas to you. He said that you're a really nice boy, and that you wanted to meet me."

Lucas pouted and his eyes filled with tears at the mention of Matt. Both Peter and Karen made a surprised noise when he pulled Peter's hand and dragged him to the main bedroom. 

"Fix daddy," he begged him.

Karen almost broke down right there.

He was meeting his hero for the first time, and Lucas priority was still his dad. How had she ended up with such a nice kid? She had to wonder if that was coming from Matt or just something Lucas. She surely had never been so kind as a child.

"I-I can't." Even with the mask on, Karen could tell that Peter was panicking. 

Lucas started sobbing, clearly heartbroken by the fact that not even his hero could help. Karen moved to hug him and reassure him, but the bedroom door opened before she could. Matt stood against the door frame, his face pale with an expression of contained pain.

"I thought I'd smelled a spider." 

Peter had to capture him when he stepped forward and swayed. "Woah. You shouldn't be up, D."

"Daddy!" Lucas hugged his legs before jumping with his arms up, signaling for Matt to pick him up.

"Hey, Luc." He smiled softly.

"Matt!" Karen admonished him when he leaned down to pick up the toddler. The bandages on his back were stained.

"Help me get to the couch," he told Peter.

There was a lot of groaning involved in their walk to the living room, and Karen had to hold an unhappy Lucas while he sat down. But Matt finally looked happy, despite the pain, when he was sitting in front of the Christmas tree with a lap full of Lucas.

"Thanks for coming. I really appreciate it."

"Any time, D. But are you sure you should be up? It looks bad."

Matt waved a dismissive hand at him. "Do you want to open your gifts with Spider-Man, Luc?"

The toddler looked up, and brought his index finger to his mouth in thought. For a moment Karen feared he would decline and ask for Matt to open them, but he was soon climbing down from Matt's lap and dragging Peter to the tree.

"Come, gifts!"

It had almost been a decade since she met Matt. It was still hard for her to believe that her life now included things like Spider-Man playing with her toddler in her living room. Being married to Matt Murdock was many things, but boring wasn't one of them.

"You alright?" She asked her husband, sitting at his side mindful of his injuries.

"Better now," he replied, taking her hand in his so he could kiss it. Karen's heart fluttered and she leaned forward to drop a soft kiss on his cheek.

"You know, Foggy will be so sad that you won Christmas."

Matt laughed and regretted it immediately when his body protested. 

"He doesn't need to know about it."

"Mommy look," Lucas called her, pointing towards the Spider-Man figurine now dangling from the ceiling in an authentic spider web.

"Sorry Mrs D. He asked," Peter added quickly, sounding a bit nervous.

Karen laughed. "Good luck keeping your son quiet. He's gonna tell everyone that he met Spider-Man."

Matt groaned in faked annoyance. "Do you think Peter can swear him to secrecy."

Karen looked back at the boys. Lucas was now showing Peter the Spider-Man decoration he had put on the tree. "You'll probably need a truck of cookies for that."

"Ha," Matt said, hissing in pain right after.

Karen shook her head at him, unamused by his stubbornness. "You sure you don't want to lay down?"

"Yeah." Matt adjusted himself slowly, so that his head was resting on her shoulder. "I'm happy here."

It was Karen's turn to laugh. She interlaced their fingers and kissed his forehead. "Merry Christmas, love."

"Merry Christmas, Mrs D," Matt replied with a smirk, and Karen would have poked him if he wasn't hurt. 

Despite the injuries and long nights, Karen loved being Matt Murdock's wife.

Chapter Text

Frank

"Mommy, pudding!" Lucas said pointing excitedly to the big freezer.

"We have pudding at home, Luc," she reminded him. The toddler pouted and scowled from his spot beside the shopping cart. Karen chuckled at him and continued her way down the aisle.

Lucas had mastered the sad puppy look this year, and he wasn't shy to use it whenever he wanted something. But he was yet to get that it didn't work as well against her as it did against everyone else. He did however have a better weapon against his mom, and that was persistence. 

Mommy, banana!
Mommy, cake!
Mommy, chocolate!
Mommy, juice!

Lucas had developed the habit of pointing and asking for the things he liked. So while he was nice and quiet for most of their grocery shopping, Karen had to listen to him ask for every single item in the snack aisle. Nothing would escape that nose of his. That's why she'd stopped bringing him with her to the supermarket, but with Matt injured she had to bring him along.

In the end, not even she was impervious to his demands. 

Lucas walked out of the supermarket, proudly carrying a box of chocolate chip cookies. Meanwhile, Karen tried to convince herself that she had bought it because they had ran out of cookies. It had nothing to do with her wanting him to stop asking. Not at all. 

"Come, Luc. Let's go home," she told the toddler, who was unsuccessfully trying to open the cookies with a frown.

Lucas closed the gap between them and showed her the box. "Open."

She grabbed the package from the toddler and put it on the shopping cart. "After, dinner. Okay?" 

"Noooo, mine." He tried to jump to grab it, but he was still too short to reach.

"Lucas!" Karen snapped when he tried to climb instead. He immediately froze and dropped to the ground with a pout and big teary eyes. Karen sighed. She grabbed his hand and put it on the shopping cart. 

"Mommy will give them to you after dinner."

They hadn't taken three steps when someone asked from behind. "Do you need help ma'am?"

"No, thank you. We're fine," she replied hurriedly, trying to stop the stranger from getting closer and scaring Lucas. 

The man, however, wouldn't desist. He approached them from the opposite side that Lucas was at, and put a hand on the shopping cart to stop her. "I insist, let me help."

Karen's hand was immediately on her pepper spray, and she turned around with all the intention of using it if the man didn't let go. "Sorry but we d-"

"Not the gun, huh?"

"Frank." Karen sighed in relief and annoyance. "Are you trying to pick a fight?"

He chuckled. "No, just trying to help a beautiful lady."

Karen huffed. "You almost got yourself sprayed, you know."

"Yeah, I noticed. You do love pointing weapons at me."

"It wouldn't happen if you come say hi like a normal human being."

Frank chuckled again, but then he frowned. "Hey kid, didn't your mom say after dinner?"

Karen turned back to the cart, just in time to see Lucas dropping down from it with a panicked look. 

"Seriously, Lucas?" The boy didn't reply and instead ran to her to hide his face on her legs. "Hmm-uh. You earned this one. Try again and you won't have cookies today."

"No. I want cookie," he complained with his face still hidden. Karen sighed and shook her head. He hadn't even turned three yet and he was already giving her a run for her money.

"The kid got skills," Frank commented, sounding appreciative.

"You have no idea." She swore he'd somehow inherited Matt's ninja skills. He'd already given all of them a few scares that year, especially to the poor Foggy and Marci.

"Can I?" Frank asked raising both eyebrows while looking at the cart.

"Oh, sure." She stepped back and picked up her pouting son. "Lead the way, kind sir."

Lucas hugged her neck and turned his face to Frank, regarding him suspiciously as they walked. Despite her many attempts to get the vigilante to drop by more often, they would still go months without even hearing from him. Lucas hadn't seen him in over a year, and probably didn't remember him at all. But Karen was sure he was staring because he didn't want anyone to steal his cookies.

"How's red doing? I heard he got beaten up bad."

"Not so good." Her voice broke a little towards the end. She bit her lip and tried to compose herself. She forced a smile. "But he's getting better. He was up helping with the gifts for a little while yesterday."

"With Pider-Man," Lucas said excitedly.

Karen chuckled, and kissed Lucas' hair. "Yes, you played with Spider-Man and daddy."

"Spider-Man?" Karen shook her head with a smile. She trusted Frank, but that secret wasn't hers to share. Thankfully Frank didn't push the subject and they continued their way in silence. Something was bothering him. Karen could tell from the tension in his shoulders, but she knew asking him would be in vain. He would tell her if there was anything she could do about it.

Frank tsked after a while, and his expression turned dark. "I should have gotten those bastards sooner."

"You were after them too?"

"Yeah, for a while now. They were causing trouble uptown. But your friend Cage kept getting on my way. He must have chased them out of Harlem."

Karen stopped walking, and hugged Lucas harder. 

"Mommy?" Lucas asked with concern.

Karen ignored him, and instead set her gaze on Frank. "You said: sooner. Does that mean you got them already?"

"They won't be hurting anyone again. That's all you need to know."

This was the hard part of being with Frank. She couldn't say that she wasn't relieve that the men that hurt her husband, and almost ruined her son's Christmas were gone. But her relief came with a good amount of guilt and shame. Karen knew the heavy price of killing. She shouldn't take any relief from the fact that her friend continued to dig himself a gruesome hole. She didn't want them hurting anyone else, but this wasn't the right way to stop them. It had never been. 

"You could have worked with Luke. You two could have stopped them."

"And what? They go to prison get a slap on the wrist, and get back out in a month or two? Next time they'd come for Cage's little girl. That way is bullshit, and you know it."

No, she didn't.

She'd seen Matt stop evil without killing. She'd seen Foggy's words sway people's hearts. Marci, Ellison, Luke, and even Maggie they all fought to uphold justice, and she'd seen them succeed at it. It wasn't an easy route, and it certainly wasn't infallible, but it was the better route. One that didn't destroy lives.

And yet she understood all too well his drive to put a permanent end to it.

Karen sighed, and resumed walking.

"Matt won't be happy, you know? He'll probably chase after you when he gets better."

"Yeah, I expect as much. He'll probably try to get me to prison again." Frank scoffed. "Not that it will do any good."

"Try not hurt him too bad, please." Karen would've preferred them not to face each other at all, but she knew them too well. They wouldn't stop no matter what she said. 

"Then tell him not to be such a try hard." Karen snorted. That was one way to call her stubborn husband.

They didn't say much for the rest of the walk, and Lucas was thankfully and good boy through it. She dropped him to the ground as soon as they got to her building. He immediately went to the intercom and started jumping to press the buttons.

"No Luc, daddy's sleeping." She stopped him before he could ring any of the neighbors. Karen passed him her purse which he accepted with a pout. "Hold this while mommy opens the door."

When she turned back to Frank he had a sad nostalgic smile on his face. 

Karen swallowed. "Do you want to come up? We have beer and cookies."

"No, my cookies!" Lucas protested with a panicked expression. As if he could eat the whole box by himself. 

Frank laughed and ruffled his hair, making Lucas go hide behind Karen. After the kidnapping he'd started crying whenever any stranger got too close, but he was growing a bit more bold as time passed. His default now was to hide and observe.

Frank took from his coat's pocket a rectangular gift in a clumsy wrapped snowman paper. "I just wanted to give this to the kid."

"Oh," Karen whispered, left speechless by the gesture. For him to go out of his way to get Lucas a present. She would have never expected it. "Can I open it?"

Frank nodded, and Karen carefully unwrapped the gift, while Lucas observed with curious blue eyes.

"One batch, Two batch." The name was familiar, and Karen vaguely remembered seeing it at Frank's old house.

"It was my girl's favorite. I thought it would be nice if someone else appreciated it."

Karen's eyes filled with tears, and she brought the vigilante into a bone crushing hug. "Thank you, I'm sure Lucas will love it too."

Karen couldn't see his expression, but his hand on her back was gentle and kind. "Merry Christmas, Karen."

"Are you sure you don't want to come up?" She asked him a bit later when she had composed herself again.

"Nah, I'm fine." He kneeled in front of Lucas, who was inspecting his new book with a frown and clumsy hands. The boy blinked at him, but didn't run away this time. "You'll stop giving your mom such a hard time, okay? I'll get you all the damn cookies next year if you're good."

Lucas eyes shone at his words. "My cookies?"

"Yeah, all yours. Now, be a good boy and do what your mom says." He patted the boy's chest lightly before standing up. He adjusted his hoodie. "Say hi to Red for me."

And like that he was gone. 

Karen looked down at the book in Lucas' hands, with a bit of work it would be the perfect Christmas gift this year.

-

It was dinner time when Karen entered her and Matt's room with a tray of food. Lucas entered right behind her, holding his cookie box. Matt stirred up as soon as they were inside, and Karen could see a smile slowly appearing on his lips.

"Stew."

"Only the best for you," Karen replied, leaning down to steal a quick kiss from his lips. 

She helped him sit up so that he could eat. Meanwhile, Lucas went around the bed, threw the cookie box on it, and climbed up to sit at Matt's side.

"Hi Daddy."

"Hey Luc." Matt petted the boy's back softly. "Have you been a good boy today?"

Lucas nodded enthusiastically, and Karen gave him an unamused look. "Good boys don't steal cookies from their mom."

Lucas leaned forward protecting the cookie box with his body, probably thinking that Karen would take them away. "I'm good," he insisted.

Matt laughed, and then hissed in pain, making Lucas look up with worried eyes. "Daddy?"

"I'm okay," he reassured the boy.

Karen put the bed tray table over his legs, and grabbed his painkillers from the nightstand. "Here."

"Thanks." He swallowed them in one big gulp, and rested his hands on the table. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he touched a smooth surface next to his plate. "What is this, Karen?"

"A gift from Frank. Lucas helped me print and paste the braille this afternoon." He'd been helpful and patient with it, so maybe Frank's words got to him a little.

Matt ran his fingers over the engraved transparent plastic tag on top of the title. His eyes widened in realization, and they filled up with tears. "One batch, Two batch… Penny and a Dime."

"Matt?" She said concerned when he let go of the book and brought a hand to his face. He was crying, she realized. "Are you alright? Is it hurting?"

"Daddy, hurt?" Lucas asked just as concerned.

Matt just shook his head and said with a pained gasp. "I'm 'kay."

He definitely wasn't okay, but Karen didn't call him out on it. If only not to scare Lucas. She didn't understand what had triggered him. Did he know it had been Frank's little girl's favorite book? But no, even that wouldn't have made him cry like that. It was something else, but Karen didn't know what.

Lucas stood up on the bed and gave Matt a kiss on the face. "Kiss better."

Matt laughed, and cleaned his face with one hand. 

"Thanks Luc." He pulled the boy down so he was sitting next to him again. "Do you want Daddy to read to you?"

Once again, Lucas nodded enthusiastically.

"Are you sure? Youcan read it tomorrow if you're tired." For some reason her words made him tense, and he grabbed the book with a tight grip and a sad smile. 

"No, I'll read tonight." Suddenly Matt leaned forward -with some clear pain- to steal a kiss from her lips. He smiled brightly -whatever had been troubling him apparently gone- and turned to Lucas with a mischievous smile. "Help daddy, Luc. Come on, Let's do two spoons, one cookie. Aaaah."

The boy opened his mouth immediately, obviously persuaded by the promise of cookies. Karen sighed, but couldn't help smiling. "He won't help you much if you stuff him with cookies."

"Shh, don't tell him, but it's a big spoon."

"No, small!" Lucas complained.

"Come on, you're a big boy now. You can have the big spoon."

Karen giggled when Lucas looked torn between accepting that he was a baby or getting more cookies. Eventually he opened his mouth big for a spoonful of Matt's stew. 

"That's our big boy," Matt said proudly.

"Good job playing his ego."

Karen looked down at the book in Matt's lap. She was curious, but she doubted that Matt would want to talk about it. Maybe she would ask Frank about it the next time they saw each other.

Chapter Text

Lucas

Matt was late. 

They had taken more time that he'd expected interviewing their new client, and now he was running late to pick Lucas from school. Matt felt his phone vibrating non-stop in his pocket as he hurried through the streets. It was most likely Karen, calling to ask why he'd left their son waiting for over an hour after he'd insisted on picking him up. He should probably answer and apologize, but he wasn't ready to face Karen's disappointment. He would call her back later, after he'd gotten Lucas.

Matt slowed down once he was near the Kindergarten block, making sure to keep up his facade as a regular blind man. The school ground was quiet, all of the kids and most of the staff members were already gone. He immediately searched for Lucas' heartbeat, and found him in his classroom. He was alone with his teacher, calmly humming the tune of a distant song, and drawing with his crayons.

Matt felt a pang of guilt as he imagined the boy watching everyone leave.

Had he wondered if Matt had forgotten about him?

Lucas lifted his head up as soon as Matt stepped into the building, and his heart skipped a beat. Matt smiled. The boy was getting better at isolating sounds and recognizing them, but he still wasn't good at keeping appearances. It was hard for him to understand that he was different, and that the other people didn't experience the world as he did. Just that weekend, Karen had complained to him about Lucas screaming for ice-cream way before anyone else could hear the truck coming.

It was always stressful to try to explain how Lucas had heard stuff that he shouldn't be able to.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," he said when he entered the classroom.

Lucas teacher, who was talking over the phone on the corner farther away from Lucas, turned around to face him. Matt felt her relaxing as soon as she saw him, but when she spoke there was also a hint of annoyance in her voice. "He's here. Don't worry, I don't mind. Yes. Have a good afternoon, Mrs Murdock."

From the sound of it the teacher wasn't the only one annoyed. Matt had the feeling that he would be sleeping in Lucas' bedroom that night. He also suspected that the teacher had moved away from Lucas to stop the boy from eavesdropping. He sighed, and hoped that he hadn't heard anything he shouldn't. 

Speaking of which, Lucas was up and running towards him.

"Hi daddy," Lucas said happily. 

Matt smiled, and ruffled the boy's hair softly.

At least he wasn't mad at him.

"Hi Luc. Did you have a good day at school?" Lucas nodded, and opened his mouth to say something, but then he turned around to look at the approaching teacher.

"Good afternoon, Mr Murdock."

Matt smiled nervously. She didn't sound happy at all. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Williams. Sorry... I was stuck in an interview. It won't happen again."

"It's alright." The teacher looked at her student. "Go get your bookbag, Luc."

"Okay," the child said, hurrying to get his possessions. Matt heard him shove papers and crayons carelessly into the small backpack. Karen would probably lecture him again about treating his things more carefully.  

Matt focused back on the teacher. "How's he doing lately?"

The teacher looked down, and started playing with her bracelet nervously. "He seems to be coping with the noise a bit better, but he still isn't engaging in class."

"I see," Matt replied with a defeated sigh.

Lucas' transition to school was proving to be a true challenge. 

Bruce had advised them to get him evaluated before pre-school, and the specialist had diagnosed him with sensory processing disorder. Matt hadn't been too happy to put an inaccurate label on his son, but it had given them a way to breach the subject of Lucas needs without exposing themselves. It'd been a relief to have an excuse for Lucas' oddest behaviors, and it made it easy to explain things to his pre-k teacher.

Not that it had helped much.

The less said about his first Pre-K school the best. 

They had needed to switch schools in the middle of the year, after Lucas had started crying all the time. It had been quite heartbreaking to see him so unhappy and discouraged. So much that they had seriously considered homeschooling him. The search for an adequate school had been hard, but absolutely worth it. 

The difference had been noticeable from the go.

He still wasn't thrilled to attend school, but he wasn't crying everyday, and he was actually learning something. Of course things weren't all great. His grades were poor. He wasn't socializing, or participating in class. He was falling behind in some subjects. Lucas short academic career left a lot to be desired, but Matt was still holding hope that things would improve soon.

They had to.

The problem wasn't his intelligence or his attitude. Lucas was quick to learn, and diligent with his work. The problem was the sensory overload at school. Matt knew exactly how it felt to suddenly be around a bunch of noisy kids you couldn't escape. It wasn't fun, and it was no wonder Lucas had taken an antisocial approach to it. It had taken training and time for Matt to conquer it. It was probably going to take Lucas just as long -if not longer- to be comfortable at school, but he would thrive once he did. 

Matt was sure of it.

The teacher stopped playing with her bracelets and smiled. "He did help a classmate today. He was really nice, and helped him pick up his dropped markers."

"That's great news," Matt said with a smile. "We're trying to encourage him to socialize more. It's nice to know that he's listening."

"I'm ready," the boy said to the adults. There was a big smile on his face, and Matt knew he'd heard the compliment.

The teacher patted his backpack. "He has a holiday package to complete. I already sent you and Mrs. Murdock the details through email." 

"Thanks," Matt said through a forced smile. 

And this was the part he despised about school.

Homework.

It wasn't that Matt disliked helping his son count objects and do simple math. The problem was that he couldn't do it. Matt couldn't read what was written on the paper. He couldn't help Lucas count the objects in the page, or help him practice his writing. Hell, he couldn't even read what his homework was about. He was pretty much useless when it came to his son's homework.

The whole responsibility of dealing with the pesky packages had fallen on Karen. 

That shouldn't bother him as much as it did. He still helped Lucas with other stuff. But recently it felt like their daily routine was shrinking. School took half his day. Homework was Karen's time. His free time was spent drawing, watching cartoons, or playing with Franklin. Lucas had even stopped telling him about his drawings, probably because he knew that it made him sad. Dropping and picking him up from school was Matt's attempt to have some more time with the kid. But one day Lucas would start walking home alone, and outgrow storytime, and then Matt would have nothing to share with his son. 

Karen told him that things would be different once Lucas could read his homework, and got into new hobbies. Matt wasn't so sure. He was feeling quite disheartened about the whole situation. It just felt like he was quickly slipping to the bottom of his son's favorite people list. Not that he could blame him. Lucas liked drawing and doing visual activities, and Matt just couldn't help with those.

"Thanks for everything. I promise not to be late again."

"If you do, just make sure to pack some snacks for him," Mrs Williams joked.

Matt coked his head to the side. "Were you hungry?"

"A little," Lucas murmured, apparently embarrassed. "Mrs Williams gave me a banana."

Matt's lips turned into a self-deprecating smile. The teacher probably thought they were incompetent parents. "I'll pack some snacks from now on."

He grabbed his son's hand, and took a moment to appreciate how big it was now. 

Not the hands of a baby anymore. 

The toddler that loved to be tossed up in the air all the time was no more. "Come on, let's go home."

The boy waved at the teacher. "Bye, Mrs Williams."

The teacher waved back with a smile, but when they started walking away she called after them. "Oh wait. Luc, don't forget the card!"

"The card?" Matt asked with a frown.

"We made Christmas cards," Lucas explained nervously. His heart starting to beat like crazy.

"Oh." Matt supposed he should have seen that coming. It was the last school day of the year. "Did you make one for mommy and uncle Foggy?"

Lucas shook his head, and his grip on his bookbag tightened.

"Come on. Show him," the teacher encouraged him.

The boy sighed and opened his backpack to get a card from it. "For you, daddy."

"For me?" Matt asked, accepting the card with mild shock. He wasn't the usual recipient of Lucas' crafts, since they tended to be visual in nature. But it was always a pleasant surprise whenever he got one.

Matt ran his fingers over the card -expecting to find braille- instead he glossed over different kinds of textures. He let his fingers explore and make a mental map of the card. A rough texture shaped as a tree, small smooth circles on top of it. A Christmas tree. On the bottom of it, smooth textured squares with a line of clothes that culminated in a ribbon. Christmas gifts. 

To the side two more complex figures, one bigger than the other. 

Humans. 

Matt could feel the texture of their clothes, soft for the T-shirts, rough for the pants. The hair was made of thick smooth threads. The small human had long-ish and messy hair. The tall human had short and smooth hair. But the telling feature, the one that made Matt's eyes water, were the glasses on the tall human's face. It was them. Lucas had made a card of the two of them in front of the Christmas tree.

"Lucas did the drawing, and I helped him cut and paste the textures," the teacher explained to him.

"Do you like it?" Lucas asked nervously. 

Matt let out a wet breath, trying not to cry in front of the teacher. He put down the card and his cane, and kneeled to the boy's height. "Can I hug you?" he asked his son, knowing the boy wasn't comfortable with touch.

Lucas didn't reply, instead he ran to his father's arms, welcoming the hug. Matt burrowed his face on his son's hair and kissed it softly. "I love it. It's the most beautiful card I've been given."

Lucas hid his own face on his dad's chest. Matt hugged him harder, and whispered just for him. "Daddy loves you, Lucas. I'm so proud of you, and everything you do. Nothing will ever change that. You're daddy's best gift."

The boy sobbed loud and clear then, but Matt also felt him relax. He hadn't even noticed how tense he'd been, and for how long. weeks? Months? Matt realized then that the boy was probably just as scared as him of losing their bond. He had probably been blaming himself for it too. His kid was already too much like him.

Matt stood up, carrying Lucas with him. "I'm not a baby," Lucas protested even with a wet voice, and a face full of tears and snot.  

"I know you're daddy's big boy, but I want to carry you a little. Can I?" Lucas hesitated for a moment, but he nodded against his dad's chest in the end.

"Here," the teacher -who had remained a silent spectator- said, tugging Matt's arm to guide him to a chair.

She was smiling, and Matt had to wonder if she knew that Lucas had been struggling with this.

He'd been such an idiot, too busy worrying about himself to realize Lucas was going through the same. But it would be Okay now. They would heal and they would grow together stronger than before.