Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

IBelievewe’renotalone has added Iwaizumi, BigMakkiDaddy, Maddog, TheGrinche’sSideHoe, and (4)+

IBelievewe’renotalone: Hey everyone ( ˘ ³˘)❤ 

Iwaizumi has left the chat

IBelievewe’renotalone: Iwa-Chan!!(´Д｀) 

BigMakkiDaddy: oh no you dont 

BigMakkiDaddy has added Iwaizumi to the chat

Iwazumi has left the chat

Yee-Hawba: dont leave me with them !!

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: the hell is thet supoosed to mean

IBelievewe’renotalone: Omg i cant believe he left without listening to why i made this 

Lemmesmash: can i leave

IBelievewe’renotalone: NO

IBelievewe’renotalone: In fact!

IBelievewe’renotalone has added Iwaizumi

to the chat

Iwaizumi: whyy

IBelievewe’renotalone: How about you listen and i’ll tell you

IBelievewe’renotalone: You ever thot about that

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: wow so spicy

BigMakkiDaddy: spicy langauge in the chat

Lemmesmash: @TheGrinche’sSideHoe who the fuck are u

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: who the frickfrack are you 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Guys 

Lemmesmash: i asked you first

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: i asked u 2nd

Egg: Wow

Yee-Hawba: captain!!! what were you going to say??? 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Ok so 

Iwaizumi: shut up shittykawa i wanna know who everyone is

IBelievewe’renotalone: So mean Iwa-Chan! ╥﹏╥ 

BigMakkiDaddy: alright sluts 

BigMakkiDaddy: its roll call time

BigMakkiDaddy: yahaba

Yee-Hawba: here!

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: watari

Egg: im egg

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: watari i know its u stfu

Egg: who is this watari you speak of

Egg:  i am an egg

Lemmesmash: :/

BigMakkiDaddy; mmk bro live yo life

BigMakkiDaddy: mad dog are you here yet you havnt said anything

Maddog: Here

Yee-Hawba: wow arent you just the life of the party

IBelievewe’renotalone: Spicyyyyyy

BigMakkiDaddy: dont try to get in on it now 

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: yea thats our thing

Lemmesmash: thats fucking Mattsukawa 

Lemmesmash: youre fucking mattsukawa 

TheGrinche’sSideHoe:  yea 

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: and now i know youre kunimi

Lemmesmash: fuck 

Kindaichi: um so

Iwazumi: alright introductions are over can we stop now

BigMakkiDaddy: how was that introductions 

BigMakkiDaddy: no one listned 

BigMakkiDaddy: whyd no one listen im the leader of this group am i not

IBelievewe’renotalone: Stop 

Yee-Hawba: youre not 

Maddog: id rather die than ever have you as my captain

BigMakkiDaddy: that hurts wow 

BigMakkiDaddy:imgflip

Lemmesmash: wkdnsjsnkswnsnd

Iwaizumi: LMAO

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: bro i love you youre my fav captain

BigMakkiDaddy: the saddest people shit the loudest Img-for-you-hun

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: nvrmd

IBelievewe’renotalone: I wanna cry this was not the purpose of this chat

Lemmesmash: why did you create this why would you do this to all of us

IBelievewe’renotalone: I wanted to be distracted from the snow day（＞д＜) !!!!! 

Yee-Hawba: bad idea senpai

BigMakkiDaddy: dang even your biggest fan is dissipointed in uou 

IBelievewe’renotalone: ＼(;´□｀)/  Yahaba Nooo

Iwaizumi: *disappointed

Yee-Hawba: im not his biggest fan! hes just my captain and i look up to him!! hes cool!!!

BigMakkiDaddy: shut the hell up iwa 

BigMakkiDaddy: YAHABA LIKES OIKAWA 

BigMakkiDaddy: AHAHHAAAHAHAHHSHAH

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Maddog: thats bullshit 

Yee-Hawba: no i dont!!! shut up!!

Iwaizumi: guys stop thats not even funny

Lemmesmash: why 

Kindaichi: you jelaous?

Egg: Mad dog seems to be

Yee-Hawba: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Iwaizumi: guys its mean to bully yahaba.

Iwaizumi: saying he likes oikawa is like saying he wants to marry a dirty sewer rat

IBelievewe’renotalone: IWA CHAN THATS SO MEAN | ｀Д´| 

Maddog: im not jealous thats stupid i hate both of them how could i be jealous

Egg: dang everyone just keeps getting

Egg: scrambled

Lemmesmash: no

BigMakkiDaddy: ya know what mad dog 

Maddog: what

BigMakkiDaddy: ill give you twenty bucks if you tell me who youre crushing on

Maddog: ok

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: WHA

BigMakkiDaddy: srsly????

IBelievewe’renotalone: are you joking? can you joke? do you know how to? 

Maddog: course ill tell you but give me the money first

BigMakkiDaddy: you fucking liar 

Egg: knew it was too good to be true

Yee-Hawba: i wanna know tho

Lemmesmash: i think we all know who it is, we dont really need him to say it

Yee-Hawba: WHAT WHO IS IT

Iwaizumi; its p obvious

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: yeah 

Yee-Hawba: who is it?????? i wanna know!!!!

Lemmesmash: idk how anyone could not know who it is

Kindaichi: babe stop torturing him 

Yee-Hawba: yeah comon just twll me!!!

IBelievewe’renotalone: Youre so hopeless my dear kouhai 

Maddog: i dont have feelings for anyone shut up 

Egg: yea and oikawa doesnt wear booty shorts for the sole purpose of getting the boys basketball team’s attention 

Egg: i said sarcastically 

Maddog: i can understand sarcasm just fine 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Alright, well, this whole thing really got ahead of me 

IBelievewe’renotalone: I think its a good time to just delete this whole thing

Iwaizumi has added Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way to the chat

IBelievewe’renotalone: Who is that???? Iwa-Chan what are you doing??????

BigMakkiDaddy: i like their name

Iwaizumi has added Ushijima to the chat

IBelievewe’renotalone: NO 

Chapter Text

IBelievewe’renotalone: This isn’t fair（;≧皿≦）

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: woaaahhhisthatUshiii

Ushijima: Hello, what is this? 

BigMakkiDaddy: holy shit its him and he speeks like hes nkt illiterate 

Egg: you don't know how to spell ‘speak’ but you can write out illiterate?

Lemmesmash: welcome to hell ushijima 

Kindaichi: whos that ebony person tho

Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way has changed their name to; Tobio 

Tobio: sorry it was chanfed by hinata 

IBelievewe’renotalone: NO NO NO NO NO 

IBelievewe’renotalone: GET OUT BOTH OF YOU

IBelievewe’renotalone: YOU WERE NOT INVITED 

Ushijima: Iwaizumi invited me though. 

Tobio: yeah^

IBelievewe’renotalone: He’s not in charge 

Iwaizumi: excuse me

IBelievewe’renotalone: You’re not in charge I am

Iwaizumi: fite me bitch

BigMakkiDaddy:  fight fight fight fight 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Iwa-Chan!!!＼(;´□｀)/ 

Iwaizumi: shut up 

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Yee-Hawba: violeenceeeeee!!

Maddog: youre all feral

Yee-Hawba:  says the one with rabies 

Maddog: i will actually throw you into wall

Yee-Hawba: bet

Lemmesmash: what

Madddog: what

Yee-Hawba: im leaving 

Tobio: ill go too

Tobio: i feel like im intruding 

Iwaizumi: nope both of you stay here 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Let tobio chan leave if he wants to

Iwaizumi: look i brought them here for a very important reason

Ushijima: What’s the reason?

Iwaizumi: well oikawa has been really down recently so i thought i could bring his two favorite people over to just tell him how much they mean to him 

Iwaizumi: so if you two could just tell him some stuff that you personally feel towards him i would be so grateful 

BigMakkiDaddy: Iwa you read my mind

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: omg totally you guys need to do this or else oikawa might cry 

Yee-Hawba: wait really??? i’ll say nice things too captain!!!!!

IBelievewe’renotalone: NO NO NO NO NKAMSKEKSKSKKSSM STOPPP STOPPP IDONY

Ushijima: Oikawa, I think you’re a great volleyball player. I think you have very pretty hair and it’s the softest thing I’ve ever touched.

IBelievewe’renotalone: Wait what

Iwaizumi: what do you mean you've touched it

Ushijima: I like your face and your eyes. I think you have avery strategic brain. But 

IBelievewe’renotalone: DONT FUCKKING SAY IT 

Ushijima: You should have come to Shiratorizawa.

IBelievewe’renotalone: I AHAHESHSHSBS AHHE HATE YOU SJDKWLSSNSNDNDNDNDNXNS GODDDAMIG IWACHAN WHYYANSNDNSMS

Tobio: oikawa ive looked up to you for a long time and you were my idol 4 a lot of my youth

IBelievewe’renotalone has left the chat

Iwaizumi has added IBelievewe’renotalone  to the chat

Iwaizumi: jesus shittykawa

Iwaizumi: take it like a man

IBelievewe’renotalone: I have never wanted to cry so much before

Kindaichi: that was horrifying to witness 

Lemmsmash: alright Yahaba its your turn now

Yee-Hawba: ok!!!

Iwaizumi: no dont tell him anything nice right now hes in trouble

BigMakkiDaddy: did you punish our dear captain ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: did u

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: spank him

Iwaizumi: shut the fuck up

Egg: u two are honestly the worst people ive ever met 

Lemmesmash: i wholeheartedly agree 

Yee-Hawba: they arnt as bad as kyotani

IBelievewe’renotalone: I smell bullshit 

Yee-Hawba: but are you sure i dont need to tell Oikawa how important he is to the team????

BigMakkiDaddy: Dont boost his ego

Ushijima: I am confused. 

Ushijima: Did Oikawa not want us to be honest about our feelings towards him?

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: no no no you did absolutely great dude

BigMakkiDaddy: yea good job big boy

Egg: u did fine too kageyama, it was very well put 

Tobio: oh thats good for a second i thought oikawa was mad

Ushijima: I did too.

Kindaichi: wow this chat makes me more and more depressed as time goes on

Egg: lol

Lemmesmash: youre actually capable of being more depressed???? you havnt hit rock bottom yet? you dont keep a toaster in your bathroom at all times??? you arnt constantly thinking of just running into the forest and becomjng one with the mushrooms????

Kindaichi: babe no weve talked about this

Tobio: thst sounds lovely Kunimi

Lemmesmash: this is the one and only time ill ever allow you to reply to me kageyama

Lemmesmash: next time ill throw you into the ocean

Tobio: i dont like the ocean

Lemmesmash: which is exactly why ill send you there

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: wow so spicy someone pour my boys sum milkkkkk

Yee-Hawba: i might actually kill you

Iwaizumi: I’ll help

BigMakkiDaddy: then ill help my bro 

BigMakkiDaddy: two on two lets go we can play chicken

Yee-Hawba:  youre on!!! no one can deafeat iwa-senpai!!!!

Maddog: true 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Please stop youre all scaring me

Ushijima: I am sorry. If you want to stop by 

Shiratorizawa, we can talk through your fears.

IBelievewe’renotalone: I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER COME TO SHIRATORIZAWA 

Egg: wow thats so mean he just wants to hang

Ushijima: We could watch Netflix and relax.

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: did you just 

BigMakkiDaddy: holy crap he just asked to netflix and chill

Iwaizumi: ew no he didnt 

IBelievewe’renotalone has left the chat

Ushijima: Why’d he leave?

Tobio: haha ive never had such a great day 

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: man tobio u shouldve come to aoba johsai we wouldve been such good friends

Lemmesmash: i can say with 100% certainty i wouldve quit the club if he did show up here

Kindaichi: same 

Tobio: :(

Iwaizumi: oikawa wouldve had a bitch fit

Ushijima: Speaking of which, is anyone going to add him back?

Madddog: u do it

Ushijima: I don’t have permission it says.

Tobio: i dont either

Tobio:  plus i dont want to

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: lol the owner of the chat is gone 

Iwaizumi: i dont understand why he gave admin power to all of us cept kageyama and ushiwaka

BigMakkiDaddy: its cause he thinks we’re gonna add him back!!! hahahahaa

Egg: lol

Lemmesmash: lets see how long he can wait before he calls one of us 

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: bet yall my entire house that he calls iwa first

Yee-Hawba: youre all so mean!! 

Yee-Hawba has added IBelievewe’renotalone

to the chat

Iwaizumi: dammit yahaba 

BigMakkiDaddy: did you want him to call you 

IBelievewe’renotalone: You’re all so mean ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ) 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Thank u yahaba youre now my favorite 

IBelievewe’renotalone has changed Yee-Hawba’s username to; 

bestboi

bestboi: wksmwnsmsnnsnd

Egg: great u broke him

bestboi: thank you so much senpai!!

IBelievewe’renotalone: You’re too pure for this chat 

Maddog: hes such a suck up

bestboi: fuck off you dickburger 

Iwaizumi: well then

IBelievewe’renotalone: I spoke too soon

Tobio: hey can i add some people on here? 

BigMakkiDaddy: yesss invite your manager 

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: yes invite her

Tobio: um 

Tobio: can i have admins acsses then

Lemmesmash: if you can spell it right then yes

Tobio: access 

Kindaichi: whod you ask for help

bestboi: cmon you dont know he asked someone

Tobio: my mom

bestboi: …

Maddog: lmao

Iwaizumi : alright alright tobio i gave you access

Ushijima: what about me

IBelievewe’renotalone: No

Tobio has added Smolgiant, hhhbees, rollingthunder, and 

(10)+

tiktoksnacattac: whoahh whas this

rollingthunder: tanaka, i think its a...

rollingthunder: gc

tiktocsnacattac: a group chat huhhhhh??? ;) ;) ;)

rollingthunder: ;) ;) ;)

tictoksnacattac: ;))))))

IBelievewe’renotalone: Delete them now 

rollingthunder: whos the wet blanket

IBelievewe’renotalone: Excuse me? I can kick you out of this at anytime you fools

Smolgiant: OMGOMGOMG

Smolgiant: its the grand king!!:!:! hiiiiii!!!

IBelievewe’renotalone: Chibi-chan?

Smolgiant: yeas its me!!

Sugarandspicey: tobio,,, what have you added us to

Daichi: Is this the Aoba Johsai gc?

BigMakkiDaddy: naw naw its the big ppee pee chat, my man

Iwaizumi: hi Daichi-san

Iwaizumi: ignore makki hes an idiot

BigMakkiDaddy: uh hey thats bullying 

Smolgiant: thnk u all flr inviting me!!

Tobio: im the one who invited u?

Smolgiant: shut up ew

Tobio: youre ew

Smolgiant: YOURE EW

Tobio: NO YOU ARE 

bitch: its so fun to watch them flirt

Tobio: shut the fuck up 

Smolgiant: STOP IT!/!/!/‘skansj

Sugarandspicy: now tsukishima,,dont bully them

itsgucci: nice one tsukki

bitch: shut up yamaguchi

itsgucci: sorry tsukki :)

Lemmesmash: theres so much drama here wow

Kindaichi: dont relish in their pain babe

Lemmsmash: too late bab

BigMakkiDaddy: bab

Egg: bab

Ushijima: Bab.

Lemmesmash: shut up

hhhbees: bab

Lemmesmash: who even is that who are you why are you insulting me if i dont know who you are

hhhbees: bzzzzzz

Lemmesmash: babe help

Kindiachi: whos babe i only respond to bab now 

Kindiachi has changed their username 

to; Bab

hhhbeez: BZZZZZZZ

Lemmesmash: stop harrassing me 

Lemmesmash: karasuno stop whoever this is 

Beardedanxietydisorder: Ennoshita stop

hhhbeez: bzzzzzz :(

Sugarandspicy: No,,let him finish

Daichi: enno stop

hhhbeez: well now i dont know if i should listen to mom or dad

Daichi: wha

Tobio: when in doubt listen to suga

Sugarandspicy: while i agree with that,,,,i dont understand what we’re talking about

Smolgiant: no daichi will kick u out of the club if you make him mad

Naruto: how about you just stop

Kinno: yeah what he said^

hhhbeez: you two have got to be the most boring gays ive ever met

BigMakkiDaddy: hahhsshhsshha whos the least boring gay uve ever met

hhhbeez: myself

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: pffffffff i like him

BigMakkiDaddy: yea so we’re taking him 

bestboi: we??? cant kidnap people????

hhhbeez: no no ill come willingly 

tictoksancattac: ennoshita!!

itsgucci: senpai noooo

Rollingthunder: dont leave us!

hhhbeez: no yall should have listened better 

Smolgiant: wait im confused your gay???

hhhbees: 1. who isnt 

hhbees:  2. *youre 

Tobio: whats gay 

Sugarandspicy: kageyama pls

bitch: im crying im actually crying oh my god i cant stop

bitch: how stupid are you king

bitch: i mean seriously, please tell me you’re joking or else i might die 

Tobio: what??? just explain it???

Egg: how do you not know 

Daichi: How did I raise you

Smolgiant: wow at least im not as dumb as u 

Lemmesmash: im so~~~~i cant

Tobio: can someone just say it 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Well tobio-chan, it’s basically when two people of the same gender are attracted to each other. Its not something that’s typically accepted in japanese culture-but its still perfectly fine.

Tobio: oh

Iwaizumi: that was a surprisingly considerate and polite answer, shittykawa 

Tobio: wait isnt that just a relationship??? ive got two moms??? was no one going to tell me they were gay???

bitch: you’re actually trying to kill me aren’t you 

itsgucci: ive never seen tsukki laugh so much its scary wow kageyama thank u 

Daichi: I’m so scared for your future, kiddo

Tobio: wat i was just confused

Sugarandspicy: ok,,but,,,why didn't himata say anything?? he’s met your moms then right??

Smolgiant: ive only met one of his moms i guess 

Smolgiant: she had fluffy blonde hair and looked nothing like him

Smolgiant: i think i know why now

Tobio: wat do you mean

Lemmesmash: i wanna tell him

bestboi: dont you dare

Ushijima: Kageyama, what do you call your parents then? Are they both mom? Sorry if this comes off rude, I’m just curious. 

Tobio: no its cool i call them mom and mama

Rollingthunder: you still call her mama 

Tobio: what else would i call her

Beardedanxietydisorder: that's very sweet

tiktoksnacattac: ok but technically youve got 3 moms then??

Tobio: what why

Rollingthunder: sugamama

bitch: suga

bab: your vice captain 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Suga

Sugarandspicy: um,, what no

Smolgiant: i think of you as my mom too suga san

Sugarandspicy: youre all so oddd

Daichi: Guys, he’s not your mother

hhhbees: are you sure about that

Sugarandspicy: thank you,, daichi

Sugarandspicy: enno,, stop or else i’ll drop kick you into the sun

Naruto: can we all just stop and appreciate the fact that we’ve taken over the aoba johsai gc

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: um what???? u have done no such thing  angry face

Bigmakkidaddy: yeah this is our turf Square-Up img

Iwaizumi: god shut up u 2

IBelievewe’renotalone: Can someone please kick Ushiwaka out now ╥﹏╥ 

Ushijima: Why?

IBelievewe’renotalone: Um because I don’t want you here

Ushijima: Why not though? I like talking to you.

IBelievewe’renotalone: Can you not 

IBelievewe’renotalone: God you just 

IBelievewe’renotalone: You keep 

Ushijima: What?

IBelievewe’renotalone: Nevermind! You’re a poop!

Egg: very well put

bitch: what a well constructed sentence

Iwaizumi: so uh hey

Iwaizumi: ive got a question for karasuno’s num 11

bitch: mk shoot

Iwaizumi: are u dating kuroo from nekoma

bitch: sorry what 

itsgucci: youre dating someone?

Sugarandspicy: woah woah my saltiest child is dating already????

Egg: i thought you didnt want to be considered a mom

Sugarandspicy: things change

Smolgiant: ok but theyre dating????

Tobio: poor kuroo

bitch: we’re not kuroos too old for me

bitch: wtf is that supposed to mean kageyama ill kill u

Iwaizumi: oh sorry 

bitch: its fine i don't really care 

bitch: whyd u ask tho

Iwaizumi: oh you know kuroo just talks about you a lot

itsgucci: he talks about tsukki?

bitch: ew what a weirdo what is he obsessed with me or something 

tiktocsnacattac: why do you care yams

itsgucci: uh cause hes my best friend obviously 

Iwaizumi: Kuroo and I text somtimes but yeah u come up a lot man

Iwaizumi: u, kenma kozume, and someone named ‘brokuto’

bitch: god i hate him 

tiktocsnacattac: oh??? well how about 

Smolgiant: we 

rollingthunder: add

Tobio: him

Beardedanxietydisorder has added;

‘sweetandsassy’ to the group chat

sweetandsassy: hi

bitch: end me 

Chapter Text

sweetandsassy: i cannot believe you said im too old to date u

bitch: what

sweetandsassy: i just scrolled up and read everything 

sweetandsassy: ill have u know im a very young man 

sweetandsassy: and im really cool i have a nintendo switch

bitch: you need to actually shut up

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: i cant tell if theyre flirting??

BigMakkiDaddy: maybe its a one sided love

Smolgiant: i thought kenma told me you were borrowing his switch for the weekend

sweetandsassy: ok but i do currently have one in my possession 

sweetandsassy: and what are you doing talking to kenma 

tobio: i’msoconfused 

sugarandspicy: can we go back to the part where you were trying to tell my child youre not too old for him

sugarandspicy: youre 18 years old,,, asshole

sugarandspicy: tsukki just turned 16,,, and i will fucking kill you if you try anytging on him 

Daichi: SUGA

Lemmesmash: oh damn

bitch: mom nO

sweetandsassy: I WASNT COMING ON TO HIM

sugarandspicy: THEN WHY WERE YOU TRYING TO LURE HIM WITH VIDEO GAMES

bestboi: technically its a video game console 

sweetandsassy: IM SORRY I WASNT TRYING TO DO ANYTGING PLEASE DONT HURT ME

sugarandspicy: YOU BETTER NOT TRY ANYTHING OR ELSE MY FOOT WILL BE SO FAR UP YOUR ASS ITLL STICK OUTOF YOUR MOUTH

Iwaizumi: woAH

Maddog: i-

IBelievewe’renotalone: (◎o◎) 

bitch: ok stop

itsgucci: hes not wrong 

itsgucci: kuroo youre old

sweetandsassy: im so scared and offended how did it end up like this

sugarandspicy: just a lil warning :)

sweetandsassy: ill be avoiding karasuno from now on

sweetandsassy: also i feel like i should mention that im dating kenma now 

sweetandsassy: ya know in case anyone wants to say theyre sorry

sugarandspicy: i stand by my words 

bitch: i feel like its being forgotten that youre all acting like i could be taken advantage of 

bitch: i could beat the crap out of kuroo if i wanted to

Daichi: Sure honey

BigMakkiDaddy: damn we’re all so spicy today

TheGrinche’sSideHoe: i mean sugawara is the spiciest person out there 

sugarandspicy: im just looking out for you tsukishima

sugarandspicy: i care

bitch: yamaguchi lets go get bagles

itsgucci: uh ok

tictocsnacattac: good change of topics i was getting uncomfy 

rollingthunder: yeah so why hasnt yachi or the lordess herself said anything yet

yellowbricks: I didn’t want to interrupt 

Smolgiant: you woudlnt have interrupted!!!! we love your input yach!!!

yellowbricks: aw thank you shoyo!!!

corn: I’m studying.

tobio: on a day off???

tictoksnacattac: DONT QUESTION KIYOKO 

beardedanxietyattack: kiyoko i hope youre having a good day!!

tictoksnacattac: dont speak to her directly! 

Egg: why not

rollingthunder: you did not just ask that

corn: Thank you asahi

rollingthunder: WJDJDNJWJWWJJS

bestboi: lmao

tictoksnacattac: life means nothing 

BigMakkiDaddy has changed TheGrinche’sSideHoe’s username to; plumfucker

bab: im sorry what

bestboi: pls no

sweetandsassy: what does that mean :,,(

corn: Bye 

IBelievewe’renotalone: What the fuck did you do mattsun 

rollingthunder: YOU MADE HER LEAVE WTF

BigMakkiDaddy: what do you guys think he did

Iwaizumi: youre both joking right now 

plumfucker: MAKKI U ASS

BigMakkiDaddy: you should have left my groceries alone

sugarandspicy: OH MY GOD

yellowbricks: :(

Daichi: I cant

Ushijima: Is this what it’s like to feel fear?

sweetandsassy: i need context i need answers 

bitch: srsly one of you need to say somthin 

plumfucker: I SWEAR I DIDNT DO ANYTHING 

BigMakkiDaddy: yes you fckn did 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Ok explain now or youre both being blocked

bestboi: i dont want them to explain

maddog: ignore him and tell us what happened 

bestboi: oh fuck you kyoutani

maddog: just dont read the messages if you dont want to see idiot

bestboi: has anyone ever told you youre annoying as fuck

maddog: you know what you have five seconds before i actually drive over to your house and beat you with my sandle

bestboi: good luck doing that im not home 

maddog: im calling your mom

bestboi: what

bestboi: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY MOMS NUMBER 

bestboi: WHY IS SHE BEING SO NICE TO YOU WHY DID SHE ANSWER

bestboi: WHY DO YOU KNOW MY MOTHER

bitch: im gonna scream ive never laughed so much in on day

sweetandsassy: HAHAHHAHAHAHA

maddog: so youre at the mall cool see you soon yahaba

BigMakkiDaddy: as amazing as that was, I will now tell you all that I walked in on my best friend jacking off while eating a plum

IBelievewe’renotalone: I’m sorry?

plumfucker: I WASNT GETTING OFF TO THE PLUM I WAS JUST HUNGRY

tobio: thats exactly what a plum fucker would say

Smolgiant: yeah what he said

sugarandspicy: children look away

bestboi: this is why i said i didnt want to know

BigMakkiDaddy: well bro i didnt want to see it let alone know about it

plumfucker: howd you even get into my house

BigMakkiDaddy: you left your back door open

plumfucker: i have fear

Daichi: and a thing for fruit apparently

hhhbees: nice one captain

plumfucker: makki look what youve done now everyones judging me

BigMakkiDaddy: aw sorry bro

BigMakkiDaddy: but the world must know of your crimes 

plumfucker: BUT I DIDNT FUCK THE PLUM

Lemmesmash: damn i go to the bathroom for like two mins and i come back to such a shitshow 

bab: at least makki didnt take pictures 

BigMakkiDaddy: IMG.JP

sweetandsassy: SKSNSMSNSNSNNZN

bitch: oh my god

itsgucci: what is it i dont wanna click 

Iwaizumi: WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK 

plumfucker: MAKKI NO

BigMakkiDaddy: hahaha youre all idiots

Iwaizumi: YOURE BOTH OFFICIALLY BANNED FROM THIS CHAT AND THE CLUB

Smolgiant: uh what is the pic of it wont load

itsgucci: yeah what is it

bestboi: idk can someone tell us

sugarandspicy: DONT CLICK ON THAT 

BigMakkiDaddy: no guys look at it 

Daichi: Hinata, I want you to exit the screen right now and not take one look at the image, alright?

Smolgiant: why

sugarandspicy: do as your father says

Smolgiant: ok??

plumfucker: guys open it srsly 

Iwaizumi: wtf no 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Oh my god

IBelievewe’renotalone: Guys open it

Daichi: What the actual hell is wrong with you all? My first years are gonna be scarred

hhhbees: haha omg look guys

Daichi: ENNOSHITA 

tictoksnacattac: its not what you think captain its just a gif of a gorilla eating a plum

rollingthunder: you must have such a dirty mind daichi, i mean what did you think it was

IBelievewe’renotalone: Yeah, you're all so immature. especially you, iwa-chan

Iwaizumi: the irony of you saying that makes me want to scream

IBelievewe’renotalone: ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ) 

Ushijima: Why did you click on the link before you knew what it was, Oikawa?

Egg: oh shit he got u

Bab: captain why 

plumfucker: could it be??? 

plumfucker: my second best friend has a thing for me???

IBelievewe’renotalone: Mattsun we’ve been over this, you’re pretty, but you’re not my type.

plumfucker: wow rood

itsgucci: whats your type then

IBelievewe’renotalone: Why do you want to know? Have I charmed Karasuno’s number 12?

itsgucci: no 

itsgucci: just making conversation, dude

bitch: um ew 

IBelievewe’renotalone: I like more??? firm people??

IBelievewe’renotalone: Like, they’re strong and they've got muscles and dark hair and authoritive 

BigMakkiDaddy: you just really exposed yrslf huh

IBelievewe’renotalone: What do you mean

Lemmesmash: you just very obviously described someone in this gc

IBelievewe’renotalone: What no who

sweetandsassy: Heyo 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Fuck off

Daichi: I’m married so

IBelievewe’renotalone: Yeah good

sugarandspicy; dont look at my man

IBelievewe’renotalone: i have no idea who else it could be who you think im describing

Ushijima: Hi.

IBelievewe’renotalone: No

plumfucker: hold on lets hear him out 

Chapter Text

Ushijima: I’m gay.

Egg: hi gay I’m dad

plumfucker: shut up watari he’s expressing himself 

IBelievewe’renotalone: I’m so confused. Why did he say that 

beardedanxietydisorder: hes trying to woo u

rollingthunder: he wants to fuck u obvs

hhhbees: he wants to assert his dominance as the alpha gay

sugarandspicy: he just wants to share his feelings 

Lemmesmash: so many different reasons here wow 

Sweetandsassy: man if oiks and ushiwaka get together I’ll cry with happiness 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Shut up, you’re all stupid

IBelievewe’renotalone: And if, In some impossible future, we end up doing it, I’ll be crying too 

BigMakkiDaddy: yeah crying ushiwaka's name probs 

tobio: oh damn

Daichi: not in front of the children!!

bestboi: guys thats so inappropriate you need to stop 

Iwaizumi: shut the fuck up makki

plumfucker: has our Iwa been triggered?????

Iwaizumi: yes ok I have becuase that’s so fucking gross to think about 

Iwaizumi: also Oikawa looks srsly uncomfortable right now and you all need to stop before he like cries or some shit

IBelievewe’renotalone: Awwww thank you Iwa-Chan!!!! ヽ(*≧ω≦)ﾉ 

Iwaizumi: shut up I don’t care

itsgucci: someone cares 

Iwaizumi: no i dont 

bitch: someone was jealous of the attention Oikawa was giving ushijima 

Iwaizumi: I’m not 

Smolgiant: ooooohhhhhh he isssssss

Iwaizumi: control your first years, karasuno 

Tictoksnacattac: no we taught them well 

Ushijima: I was just trying to tell you a relationship wouldn’t be out of the equation, Oikawa.

IBelievewe’renotalone: Well i-

Iwaizumi: bitch if you don’t stop I’ll add your boyfriend to this chat 

Ushijima: I don’t have a boyfriend. Who are you talking about?

Iwaizumi has added Ushi’sboyfriend to the chat

Bab: who’s that 

Ushijima: Tendou?

Sweetandsassy: wait can I add my friends to this too???? kenma would love to talk with everyone!’n

Smolgiant: omg add kenma yeaaa!!!

Ushi’sboyfriend: welllll wellll wellll 

Ushi’sboyfriend: has my man been flirting with another??? I am??? So??? 

bitch: dissipointed??

Ushi’sboyfriend: more like I’m up for a threesome

IBelievewe’renotalone: Um EXCuSE mE?????? 

Ushiima: Tendou, I was not aware that we were dating.

IBelievewe’renotalone: That’s all you’re gonna say?????

Sweetandsassy has added (4+) new users

Sweetandsassy: oh I so regret adding them at this moment 

Motomotolikesyou: I appreciate being added in such a tense moment

Ima-hoot: oh fuck what’s happenen

Ushi’sboyfriend: babe we’ve been dating since our second year

maddog: oof

Ushijima: Oh, alright. Sorry, Oikawa. Love you, Tendou.

IBelievewe’renotalone: Fucking what 

IBelievewe’renotalone: What the hell just happened 

Ushi’sboyfriend: did you actually want to have a threesome?? if you’re so upset about it I think we could work something out but i was just joking so 

IBelievewe’renotalone: you need to actually shut up

BigMakkiDaddy: im crying I swear I can’t breathe 

RussianXmodel: what have I walked in on

Yaku: Kuroo delete us now.

Ushijima: Oikawa, as a man in a happy and healthy relationship, I don’t believe I wouldn’t really have much to gain from seeing you at the same time. All the apologies in the world, but I don’t think I can continue to court you. 

Tobio: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHHAHAHhahHA

sugarandspicy: tough luck, Oikawa,,, I’m so sorry about your breakup

plumfucker: omg this is so sad, mad dog play despacito 

maddog: What

bestboi: captain I’m so sorry for everyone’s behavior today this is so unacceptable 

depressedANDstressed: sad

sweetandsassy: yeah what kitten said ^

Smolgiant: kenma!!!!!! Hiiiii!!!!

depressedANDstressed: hello

IBelievewe’renotalone: Alright, first off, you’re all assholes. Second, I do not want to ever have relations with stupid ushiwaka, let alone him and his terrifying red headed demon of a boyfriend. Thirdly, I am a hot piece of ass and anyone would be lucky to have me, so all of you can fuck of.  

IBelievewe’renotalone: also yahaba, my dear sweet kohai, you’re the only person I will ever trust and I love u

Egg: oof sorry Oiks 

Ushi’sboyfriend: i mean if you’re sure dude 

bestboi: I love you too captain!!!!

Iwaizumi: alright can we talk about something else now this was dragged on for too long

Tobio: yeah it’s almost like the author wrote out an Oikawa x Ushijima fic where they have hate sex in a corn field-but then remembered this story still existed so they accidentally let some of that travel into this

Iwaizumi: What 

Tobio: what

A private chat has been opened by youreverydayfuckboy 

Accept?

youreverydayfuckboi: what if we started dating 

itsgucci has accepted 

itsgucci: excuse me

youreverydayfuckboi: hold on and listen

youreverydayfuckboi: lets date so I can make someone jealous ok

itsgucci: im sorry i don’t even know who u r 

youreverydayfuckboi: im terushima yuuji from Johzenji

itsgucci: who 

youreverydayfuckboi: im blond and have a tongue pericing 

itsgucci: oh 

itsgucci: oh you’re that hot guy who was trying to ask out our manager 

youreverydayfuckboi: yeah

youreverydayfuckboi: hot huh??? ;)

youreverydayfuckboi: is that a yes then?

itsgucci: it’s a maybe 

itsgucci: tell me what I’ll get out of it

youreverydayfuckboi: besides a good fuck?

Itsgucci: no

youreverydayfuckboi: I’ll do boyfriend stuff for u

youreverydayfuckboi: like I’ll say you’re cute and I’ll drive you to the mall and I’ll buy you meat buns and hold your hand in front of everyone 

itsgucci: how many meat buns

youreverydayfuckboi: how many do you want

itsgucci: at least one a day 

youreverydayfuckboi: fine 

youreverydayfuckboi: anyways so will you do it 

itsgucci: who are you trying to make jealous

youreverydayfuckboi: that’s not your business 

itsgucci: yeah it is 

itsgucci: if I’m gonna have to act like I’m in love with you it’d be better to know who i've got to really play it up for

youreverydayfuckboy: ugh fine

youreverydayfuckboi: it’s Ennoshita on your team

itsgucci: What? Srsly???

yourevertdayfuckboi: hes cute that’s not my fault 

itsgucci: that’s just so weird to me you’re so diffefent and stuff 

itsgucci: do you two talk?

Youreverydayfuckboi: yeah actually 

Youreverydayfuckboi: we’re ina discord server together and he’s really smart and pretty and his voice is so relaxing 

itsgucci: oh that’s really sweet actually 

youreverydayfuckboi: why would it not be

itsgucci: you just seem kind of 

itsgucci: idk 

Youreverydayfuckboi: what no finish your sentence

itsgucci: no thx 

Youreverydayfuckboi: so do you agree to being my boyfriend or not 

itsgucci: whyd you pick me for this dude? Why not like one of your own teammates? Or even like Kuroo from Nekoma or someone like that

Youreverydayfuckboi; I’ve got my reasons

itsgucci: fine whatever 

itsgucci: I’ll do it 

itsgucci: I’ll be your fake boyfriend 

Youreverydayfuckboi: I mean you wouldn’t really be my fake boyfriend 

Youreverydayfuckboi: id still love to fuck and stuff and id like to tell people your my man

itsgucci: um

Youreverydayfuckboi: unless you’re uncomfortable with sexual stuff?

itsgucci: i dont 

itsgucci: I mean I just ive never really

itsgucci: I have yet to do stuff like that 

Youreverydayfuckboi: what wait no I’m not gonna deflower a sweet innocent bean like u 

Youreverydayfuckboi: you’re too baby for that

Youreverydayfuckboi: we should make a list of rules 

itsgucci: like from that movie

Youreverydayfuckboi: what movie 

itsgucci: to all the boys I’ve loved before 

Youreverydayfuckboi: ok but we’re not gonna fall in love with each other in the end 

itsgucci; u don’t know that I’m very pretty  I can’t control what’ll happen to u lol sorry 

Youreverydayfuckboi: shut up so 

Youreverydayfuckboi: number one on the list is that we are not going to have sex 

itsgucci: oh thank i god i might’ve thrown up if we actually did 

youreverydayfuckboy: thst hurts

itsgucci: good anyways rule 2

itsgucci: you have to buy me meat buns at least once a day

Youreverydayfuckboi: how am I supposed to see you everyday if we’re in different cities?

itsgucci: you’re only thirty mins away by metro

Youreverydayfuckboi: I’ll come over every Friday and Monday then

Youreverydayfuckboi: you’re an expensive little shit, arent you

itsgucci: I might as well get what I want out of this right 

Youreverydayfuckboi: id do the same thing so yeah 

itsgucci: rule 3 is that we hold hands whenever Ennos near 

Youreverydayfuckboi: and the occasional kiss?

itsgucci: only in front of people not when we’re alone 

Youreverydayfuckboi: k

Youreverydayfuckboi: do we tell anyone?

itsgucci: no my teams a gossiping mess 

Youreverydayfuckboi: what about my brother

itsgucci: how old is he

Youreverydayfuckboi: 7

itsgucci: that should be fine 

Youreverydayfuckboi: are you not gonna tell that blonde guy with the glasses on your team

itsgucci: tsukki? why would I tell him

Youreverydayfuckboi: idk you both just seem close

itsgucci: i dont want him to know about this he’d lecture me or something

Youreverydayfuckboi: ForMyNewBF

itsgucci: whats that

Youreverydayfuckboi: just open it 

itsgucci: oh 

itsgucci: that was sweet

Youreverydayfuckboi; I know that’s why I sent it

Youreverydayfuckboi; you are now my official boyfriend that I will break up with once Ennoshita notices me 

itsgucci: how charming 

Youreverydayfuckboi: don’t worry this is gonna be great 

itsgucci: god when people say that in movies, things usually turn to shit

Youreverydayfuckboi: nothing bad is gonna happen! People do stuff like this all the time. This will go great!! 

itsgucci: I can’t help but feel like you just jinxed us 

Chapter Text

hhhbees: I have come to the conclusion that I am in fact a dumbass

bitch: what happened

hhhbees: i dont want to talk about it 

Bab: you cant just say that and leave us on a cliffhanger 

Ushi’sboyfriend: yeah I’m very nosy and would like to know everyone’s business 

Sugarandspicy: ok no,,,enno,,,you’re not a dumbass

beardedanxietyattack: well that’s debatable 

IBelievewe’renotalone: oh damn

BigMakkiDaddy: I smell something spicy

Plumfucker: that’s just your dick 

Daichi: Asahi! 

Iwaizumi: mattsun stop 

tobio: if your dick smells spicy I think there’s something wrong with it

bitch: no shit Sherlock 

tobio: actually this is kageyama

tobio: do we have someone in the chat named Sherlock? 

tobio: are they an exchange student? That name sounds European or smthn

Yaku: oh honey no 

Sweetandsassy: this is sad to watch 

ima-hoot: damn karasuno y’all live like this

Smolgiant: remember that show we watched at kenma’s, Bakayama

tobio: what are you talking about I’ve never gone over to his house before 

Smolgiant: what yes you have

tobio: um no???

Smolgiant: OH WAIT

Smolgiant: sorry yeah that was a dream

tobio: oh ok

Smolgiant: :|

depressedANDstressed: Shoyo you’re delusional 

Smolgiant: I know :) love you too

IBelievewe’renotalone: Can we talk about how Chibi-chan has dreams about watching tv with his little boyfriends? That’s so cute!ヾ(＠^∇^＠)ノ 

tobio: he’s not my boyfriend god stop

Smolgiant: EWWWW WHAT NOOO OWSINSKSJASK THATS SO GROSS STOP IM NOT DATING THAT BAKA EW EW EW EW

Egg: I’m curious about why you aren’t denying you’re seeing kenma 

Smolgiant: IM NOT SEEING ANYBODY 

depressedANDstressed: sadly I’m already with Kuroo so that fantasy is over 

Sweetandsassy: wait wait wait you've fantasized about hinata?!!??

depressedANDstressed: that was a joke

Sweetandsassy: it didn’t sound like a joke

depressedANDstressed: I’m sorry whos the one in our relationship who said bokutos name during a make out session 

Sweetandsassy: it was an accident, kitten!!

bitch: oh this is just lovely to intrude on

BigMakkiDaddy: so spicy too

Plumfucker: mmmmm

ima-hoot: guys this isn’t the best place for this 

depressedANDstressed: anyone else in the chat think Kuroo wants to fuck Bokuto?

Sugarandspicy: who doesn’t wanna fuck that guy 

Smolgiant: kenma I’m sure it was an accident he really does love you

Iwaizumi: yeah I mean I’m kinda uncomfortable with the current mood of the chat but Kuroo’s always talking about you to me 

Daichi: Wait, Suga what

Ima-hoot: what he said^

Sugarandspicy: I’m just being honest,,, you’re attractive,,, Bokuto 

Ima-hoot: ajsjshahahahaha thank you 

RussianXmodel: I’m so confused i don’t know what’s going on who is everyone and Kuroo and kenma make out that’s so weird oh my god I’m so what wait what 

Yaku; alright so Lev’s having a mental breakdown. Can we please abolish who’s the dumbass and what happened to them 

rollingthunder: ...abolish??

Yaku: *establish 

Tictoksnacattac: HAHAHAHAHAHAH ABOLISH I'M GONNA CRY WOSNEKSSN

bitch: i guess we’ve found our dumbass 

Yaku: you’re all assholes

Ushi’sboyfriend: whats your point

Yaku: @hhhbees who are you and what happened

hhhbees: im ennoshita

Ushijima: Who?

RussianXmodel: karasuno who is this man

Sugarandspicy: he is gonna be karasuno’s captain next year so,,, y’all better show my baby some respect 

BigMakkiDaddy: god that’s gay

hhhbees: aw thx mommy

Plumfucker: I hate this

Smolgiant: i-

Daichi: I tried so hard to make you both normal 

Sugarandspicy: oh shut up 

IBelievewe’renotalone: hey ennoshita, what do you call your current captain now

hhhbees: daichi?

IBelievewe’renotalone: yes

hhhbees has changed Daichi’s

Username to;

Dadchi

hhhbees: i call him that 

Dadchi: Has anyone ever told you that you’re annoying?

hhhbees: why yes they have, in fact several of my exes have said so 

itsgucci: tell me about them

hhhbees: what

itsgucci: um nothing I meant to send that to a different chat

bitch: ok so why are you a dumbass enno

hhhbees: oh yeah so i was at Starbucks earlier 

hhhbees: and like the barista who gave me my caramel frap wrote their number on it-which was very flattering and he was so fucking cute-but then when I was on my way out I tripped on a chair and the entire drink spilled onto my chest 

hhhbees: and the cup crushed in my hand so I lost his number and I was too embarrassed to go back to the counter so I booked it 

hhhbees: totally just ran out of the store

hhhbees: i wasted 6 dollars just to ruin a sweater and embarrass myself in front of a cute dude

naruto: oh that stinks 

Rollingthunder: well I guess your first statement about being a dumbass is true 

BigMakkiDaddy: that’s an L chief

itsgucci: yeah that’s a bummer 

Plumfucker: dude you should see the way certain members of our team act around each other. 

Plumfucker: you’re not the first to trip and spill a drink when nervous so don’t be embarrassed or anything 

Plumfucker: cause dude one time Oikawa was trying to flirt with one of the guys on the basketball team at our school

IBelievewe’renotalone: Um excuse me?!? You aren’t allowed to share my personal life with them?!? Shut up!!!!!!

Iwaizumi: oh I remember what happened tho it was so funny 

bestboi: omg sorry captain but that was hilarious 

Bab: one of the best practices we’ve ever had 

Smolgiant: omg what happened????

IBelievewe’renotalone: I’ll never forgive any of you if you say what happened 

Ima-boot: tell meeeeeee now

Iwaizumi: lets just say the experience ended with partial nudity, three scarred for life first years, and Oikawa and the guy he liked covered in strawberry jam 

Sugarandspicy: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

Yaku: i demand the full story 

tobio: what the fuck tell me more right now 

maddog: wait i missed something like that?? that’s not fair

maddog: on a side note, Oikawa you really have a history with the basketball team, dont u?

hhhbees: i don’t feel better I feel confused and scared 

Ushijma: I would very much like to hear more, Oikawa.

Ushi’sboyfriend: yeah what my bf said^

IBelievewe’renotalone: All of you should fuck off o(>< )o 

Dadchi: This chat is cursed let me leave 

Ima-hoot: Keiji says you’re all insane 

depressedANDstressed: add him

Ima-hoot: no

Sweetandsassy: why not bro

Lemmesmash: yeah share the pretty setter with us 

Ima-hoot: that was him 

Ima-hoot: he says that he doesn't like some of the people on here so

Smolgiant: is it me

Ima-hoot: no kiddo -keiji

Sugarandspicy: is it me 

Ima-hoot: no sweetheart -keiji

Sweetandsassy: ….me?

Ima-hoot: yes

Sweetandsassy: was that from akaashi or bo?

Tiktocsnacattac: he’s not replying 

Rollingthunder: it’s been like ten mins

bitch: welp 

BigMakkiDaddy: y’all guess what 

maddog: what 

BigMakkiDaddy: I’m gay 

Plumfucker: omg bitch I’m gay tooooo

BigMakkiDaddy: wanna be my bea

Plumfucker: oh shit really 

BigMakkiDaddy: fuck yes 

Plumfucker: I fuck plums you know 

BigMakkiDaddy: so you finally admit it 

Plumfucker: I guess

Plumfucker: so date me? Like seriously? No jokes?

BigMakkiDaddy: no jokes 

Plumfucker: cool 

BigMakkiDaddy: lets go get ramen!!!

Plumfucker: yeahhhhhhh and then let’s beat up Oikawa 

IBelievewe’renotalone: that was so cute until the end

bestboi: omg senpais!!! I’m so happy for you!!!

Daichi: they weren’t already dating?

Bab: nah they’re just really gay all the time 

Egg: good for you 2!!

Iwaizumi: Good job guys 

maddog: you’re both so annoying I can’t believe I had to read your love confessions 

Yaku: I thought they were pretty sweet 

Plumfucker: makki we can fuck plums together 

tobio: ew 

Smolgiant: ewwwww

bitch: ugh

itsgucci: can I add someone on here?

itsgucci: oh and congrats!!!!

Iwaizumi: who?

itsgucci: well

Ten minuets earlier;

Youreverydayfuckboi: when do we go public

itsgucci: idc 

itsgucci: do what u want 

itsgucci: put it on your facebook If u want 

Youreverydayfuckboi: i dont have fb

itsgucci: then just mention it on your discord server or wait u til you come to visit on Monday 

Youreverydayfuckboi: no we should do it now 

itsgucci: how then you pushy creature 

Youreverydayfuckboi: um 

Youreverydayfuckboi: I could put it on my insta

itsgucci: cool do that then

Youreverydayfuckboi: do you have insta

itsgucci: nope I really don’t like taking pics of myself so 

itsgucci: ya know 

Youreverydayfuckboi: how am I supposed to take pics of us then???

itsgucci: you’re not gonna 

Youreverydayfuckboi: oh yes I am 

Youreverydayfuckboi: you’re gonna be my lockscreen no matter what 

itsgucci: good luck with that seeing as you live in a different city

Youreverydayfuckboi: you better get ready for Monday 

Youreverydayfuckboi: I’m gonna knock you socks off with romance and pictures and meat buns 

itsgucci: you’re so weird I can’t believe I’m stuck in this relationship 

Youreverydayfuckboi: you said yes to dating me shut up 

Youreverydayfuckboi: there’s no take backs

itsgucci: there should be

Youreverydayfuckboi: ok but seriously what if I just posted an update on my snap or made a big gc full of people or smthn

itsgucci: oh actually you know what

Youreverydayfuckboi: what

itsgucci: I’m on a group chat with a ton of players 

from a bunch of schools

itsgucci: enno is on it 

Youreverydayfuckboi: why didnt you say so??  Let’s do that!!!

itsgucci: I thrive to be unhelpful

Youreverydayfuckboi: stop 

Youreverydayfuckboi: also you better get ready for petnames cause they’re coming your way once you add me

itsgucci: don’t call me anytging dumb or else I’ll stab u

Youreverydayfuckboi: just add me!!’

Current;

itsgucci: it’s uh my boyfriend 

bitch: What 

itsgucci: hes from Johensi

Sugarandspicy: wait what

itsgucci has added Youreverydayfuckboi to the chat 

Youreverydayfuckboi: what’s up sluts 

Youreverydayfuckboi: and you, mushroom? hows my favorite little doll faced flower?

itsgucci: you’re the worst 

Chapter Text

bitch: who the fuck is that 

itsgucci: um that’s terushima 

bitch: who 

Youreverydayfuckboi: whats up dude I’m the captain of Johensi! the really hot one, in the words of freckles

itsgucci: you need to stop 

hhhbees: you two are dating?

Youreverydayfuckboi: oh hey Ennoshita what’s up :)

Sugarandspicy: hold up hold up hold up

Sugarandspicy: since when has my favorite child had a boyfriend 

rollingthunder: wha mom that’s so mean

Smolgiant: omg Yama that’s so cool!!! That guys a really good player!!! 

Smolgiant: do you two practice together a lot??? 

Smolgiant: can he come help us practice?? 

Smolgiant: can he help set spikes for me???

itsgucci: hinata you act like I’m your older brother or something 

Smolgiant: aren’t you 

Tobio: can he come tho 

bitch: ok why is nobody else fucking confused 

sweetandsassy: tsukki you sound angry 

bitch: this just sounds like bullshit ok 

Dadchi: Woah, calm down, kiddo

IBelievewe’renotalone: The french fry is right since when have you two been a thing 

Youreverydayfuckboi: uh pretty recently actually

IBelievewe’renotalone: Hmm, well it was like only two weeks ago when you were complaining about being single to me 

Youreverydayfuckboi: well I met someone 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Isn’t that just crazy  wow good for you two

itsgucci: thank you 

BigMakkiDaddy: can’t believe y’all stole mine and my bea’s moment 

Plumfucker: yeah we wanted attention 

Egg: you two are so obnoxious 

bestboi: you’ll always have our attention 

Plumfucker: that’s so sweet Yahaba :)

BigMakkiDaddy: yeah we love you little bro 

bestboi: i never said we gave you our attention willingly 

bitch: this is such a dumb chat

IBelievewe’renotalone: Hahaha, you know what 

Youreverydayfuckboi: what dude 

Iwaizum: why are you being so annoying shittykawa 

IBelievewe’renotalone: well terushima just told me this crazy plan of his to get a boyfriend awhile back! 

IBelievewe’renotalone: I’m guessing it worked then

IBelievewe’renotalone: You never needed my help :)

Youreverydayfuckboi: yep

RussianXlev: alright so can someone tell me how bad it is to put a spoon in the microwave ????

Yaku: LEV WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN

IBelievewe’renotalone has invited Youreverydayfuckboi and itsgucci to a private chat 

Accept?

Youreverydayfuckboi has accepted 

Youreverydayfuckboi: pls don’t tell them 

IBelievewe’renotalone: You are unbelievable 

itsgucci has accepted 

itsgucci: what is going on?

IBelievewe’renotalone: You tell me 

Youreverydayfuckboi: oh fuck off we aren’t doing anything wrong 

IBelievewe’renotalone: You sound very defensive 

Youreverydayfuckboi: and you’re very nosy 

IBelievewe’renotalone: This is ridiculous, I can’t believe you somtimes 

itsgucci: both of you need to stop

itsgucci: what are we talking about 

IBelievewe’renotalone: You know what we’re discussing don’t act dumb

IBelievewe’renotalone: You two are in a fake relationship 

itsgucci: you told him???????? 

Youreverydayfuckboi:  I mean not after we made our list of rules

IBelievewe’renotalone: You guys made a list of rules 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Like from that one movie

itsgucci: why didn’t you tell me he knew

itsgucci: as far as I knew, only your brother would hear of this 

Youreverydayfuckboi: i didn’t tell him 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Yeah, you just asked me to be your fake boyfriend first 

Youreverydayfuckboi: oh yeah

itsgucci: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THAT

Youreverydayfuckboi: honestly I forgot 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Wow, that’s rood 

itsgucci: jesus christ is there anyone else I should be aware of that knows 

Youreverydayfuckboi: no 

itsgucci: are you sure 

Youreverydayfuckboi: i think?

itsgucci: I fucking hate you 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Well aren't you two adorable 

itsgucci: ok so why do you care about this 

IBelievewe’renotalone: BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE GONNA FUCK A LOT OF STUFF OVER

Youreverydayfuckboi: um like what?????

itsgucci: yeah it’s not like he forced me into this or anything

IBelievewe’renotalone: First off, people are going to get hurt because of this

IBelievewe’renotalone: One of you is gonna develop feelings or smthn just like everyone in the movies do

IBelievewe’renotalone: Second, its just wrong to try and get that guy from karasuno to be jealous of you 

IBelievewe’renotalone: He’s gonna be furious when you tell him about all of this crap

IBelievewe’renotalone: AND WHY WOULD YOU AGREE TO DO THIS, FRECKLES-KUN

Youreverydayfuckboi: you’re being over dramatic

itsgucci: i mean hes giving me a lot of meat buns so 

itsgucci: and there’s no way we could ever develop feelings for each other hes gross and im a twink

IBelievewe’renotalone: That Ennoshita looks like a twink too what are you saying 

Youreverydayfuckboi: he is not, he’s a himbo 

itsgucci: he isn’t like really muscular???

Youreverydayfuckboi: um yes he is and the def of a himbo is;  An attractive but stupid young male 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Get off of urban dictionary

IBelievewe’renotalone: How do u think Ennoshita is going to react when he finds out that your doing this 

Youreverydayfuckboi: won’t tell him

itsgucci: we won’t?

Youreverydayfuckboi: what you wanna do thst 

itsgucci: no thank u 

IBelievewe’renotalone: So can you both see how irrational this is

Youreverydayfuckboi: the only reason you’re even saying this shit is because you’re angry you missed the chance to tap this 

IBelievewe’renotalone: What are you talking about I was your first you idiot 

Youreverydayfuckboi: yeah but you declined my offer for unlimited sex 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Freckles-kun do you see how gross he is 

IBelievewe’renotalone: dump his ass right now 

itsgucci: no 

Youreverydayfuckboi: omg babe <3

itsgucci: shut up

IBelievewe’renotalone: Why not? this is so dumb 

itsgucci: I haven’t gotten my food yet 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Really 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Are you sure that’s the only reason 

itsgucci: yes 

Youreverydayfuckboi: look Oikawa I’m very grateful that u care but we’re doing this, we’ve already established a relationship and we made a contract together  

IBelievewe’renotalone: This won’t end well 

itsgucci: that’s what I said at first 

itsgucci: then I started thinking of how good a meat bun would be after a practice where someone has to compliment me throughout the whole thing 

Youreverydayfuckboi: I have to do that?

itsgucci: yes

IBelievewe’renotalone: And what about the blonde 

IBelievewe’renotalone: freckles-kun, he seems pretty upset that you didn’t tell him about this 

itsgucci: I’ll talk to tsukki about it he’s fine 

Youreverydayfuckboi: oooo should I be jealous 

itsgucci: shut it we’re not like that 

itsgucci: I mean we’ve been friends since we were six

Youreverydayfuckboi: oh???

Youreverydayfuckboi: does that mean you’ve grown up together and stuff 

itsgucci: yep

Youreverydayfuckboi: have you guys seen each other’s dicks then 

itsgucci: I don’t even what the fuck why would

You ask that 

Youreverydayfuckboi: it’s a valid question 

IBelievewe’renotalone: I’ve seen Iwa’s dick

Youreverydayfuckboi: 

itsgucci: nobody asked 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Alright, well still, something shitty is gonna happen okay 

itsgucci: we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it

IBelievewe’renotalone: Fine. lets just hope it doesn't crumble away by that point then 

Sweetandsassy: okay, so what happened to your kitchen 

Yaku: I had to call the fire department 

RussianXmodel: im so sorry 

Yaku: my mom is going to kill me when she gets home 

Yaku: I hate you 

Ima-hoot: why was he even in your house 

Yaku: someone dropped him off cause they didn’t wanna babysit and had a stupid date night 

depressedANDstressed: I regret nothing

Sweetandsassy: yeah we got to eat at an actually fancy restaurant and didn’t have to worry about an overgrown four year old knocking over candles and tripping the waiter’s with his unnaturally long legs

RussianXmodel: you’re all so mean 

bestboi: ok but look on the bright side 

Yaku: which is?

bestboi: um you had a day with no boredom 

Yaku: >:(

Daichi: Does anyone want to meet at the sushi place by the mall? I’m heading there now with Asahi

BigMakkiDaddy: I want sushi!!!!

Plumfucker: babe we’d have to drive for over half an hour to get there 

BigMakkiDaddy: but sushi :,(

Plumfucker: we can get our own 

bestboi: me and maddog are in the area, mind if we meet up?

Daichi: Sure! We’re only three mins out from the place 

Egg: wait why are you out with Mad dog

maddog: well I had to beat him up so

bestboi: shut up

IBelievewe’renotalone: Is your vice captain going with you?

Daichis: Suga’s hanging out with enno 

Ushijima: Oikawa, it’s been awhile since you messaged the chat. Where did you go?

Ushi’sboyfriend: babe why do you care 

Ushijima: I worry 

Iwaizumi: hes got a valid point whered you go dumbkawa 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Uhh, nowhere I just put my phone down 

hhhbees: blasphemy 

Plumfucker: yeah there’s no way you put your phone down in the middle of a gossip sesh

IBelievewe’renotalone: I was in the bathroom jeez, why am I on trial here 

rollingthunder: HE WAS POOPING HAHAHAHA

Smolgiant: HAHAHAHAHWNWNSJNZNSMSM

tobio: ha poop

bitch: and here you can see the true comedic genius that is nishinoya yuu

itsgucci: nice one tsukki 

sugarandspicy: poop is the funniest thing in the world 

hhhbees: ok no what about farts 

IBelievewe’renotalone: I hate all of you 

Iwazumi: how did everyone in here become ten years olds all of the sudden 

yellowbricks: poop lol

corn: theres nothing funnier than farts 

Tictoksnacattac: IT HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED 

Tictoksnacattac: FARTS ARE THE FUNNIEST THING 

Youreverydayfuckboi: is that glasses-kun? Omg shes right farts are the funniest 

corn: thx 

rollingthunder: why does she speak directly to you?!??!?

rollingthunder: no fair!!!

Youreverydayfuckboi: I’m cool

corn: I mean he’s got a boyfriend, it’s not like he’s hitting on me

IBelievewe’renotalone: Wow

itsgucci: I mean you can never be sure if he’s flirting with you or not 

Youreverydayfuckboi: mushroom, my little hot ball of spit and acne, my candy mouthed dove, my Italian toed prince, I only have eyes for u

itsgucci: I actually hate you 

Youreverydayfuckboi: omg I love u too, mushroom

Smolgiant: what does Italian toed mean 

Sweetandsassy: so back to farts

tobio: me and Yachi are heading over to the sushi place also 

tobio: we might be like five mins late 

Daichi: k, we’ll wait for you to get here before ordering 

Smolgiant: why are you going with Yachi 

BigMakkiDaddy:( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

tobio: uh cause she’s hungry 

Smolgiant: I’m hungry!!!

bitch: you’re so clingy and jealous shoyo damn

tobio: I’m hungry too that’s why I’m getting sushi 

tobio: do you want me to stop and pick you up or smthn?

Smolgiant: shut up stinkyshima 

Smolgiant: yes come pick me up 

tobio: ok 

yellowbricks: tobio you’re whipped 

Ima-hoot: Ahahshahahahas

Sugarandspicy: Yachi youve grown so much I’m so proud 

Daichi: I can finally say proudly that I consider myself a dad now 

bitch: that’s my honorary sister, ive taught u well 

Ushi’sboyfriend: oooooooahaahaha little number ten is so possessive!!

depressedANDstressed: he really is

Smolgiant: i am not!! I’m just hungry

tobio: i dont understand tho what whipped mean I’m not hurt 

Sugarandspicy: is this gonna be another ‘what’s gay’ moment?

tobio: I know what gay is now 

Iwazumi: this

Iwaizumi: this is sad 

Lemmesmash: kageyama you’re an actual idiot 

Bab: Kunimi you’re being a judgmental hoe again 

Plumfucker: yeah

Lemmesmash: I’ll destroy everything u love 

Bab: then you’ll have to start with yourself 

bestboi: awwww 

Lemmesmash: finally the sweet release of death 

Ushijima: And i oop-

Chapter Text

depressedANDstressed: im gonna cry

Smolgiant: what why??? are u ok???

sweetandsassy: should I be worried kitten?

Sugarandspicy: if someone hurt you I’ll fight them 

RussianXmodel: yeah I’ll kill them 

depressedANDstressed: then you’ll just be killing me because I fucked up

Ushijima: It can’t be that bad. What happened?

depressedANDstressed: I GOT THE BAD ENDING 

Tobio: sorry what

Yaku: pls tell me you’re not talking about Mystic Messenger 

depressedANDstressed: I SHOULD HAVE TOLD ZEN I LOVED HIM WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE 

IBelievewe’renotalone: You went with Zen?

depressedANDstressed: yes he’s so pretty and kind

depressedANDstressed: whose route did you get 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Well i did everyone’s 

Yaku: wait you finished the entire game 

IBelievewe’renotalone: I’m still on V’s, but then I’ll be done with everyone’s

depressedANDstressed: oh I did everyone’s too but I’m replaying Zen’s story cause like he’s gorgeous 

Iwazumi: can we pause and explain plsss?????

Daichi: Yeah what is everyone talking about? Who’s zen???

Smolgiant: you’re not cheating on Kuroo right kenma?

sweetandsassy: no he’s not, he’s talking about his video game boyfriend 

depressedANDstressed: :(

bitch: I’m gonna sob again you’re all so weird 

itsgucci: you used to play that game all the time in middle school tsukki what are you talking about 

Tictoksnacattac: HASHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

rollingthunder: EXPOSEDDDDD

BigMakkiDaddy: lolololololol 

Plumfucker: this is really funny but like I’m still lost 

BigMakkiDaddy: ...you never played?

Lemmesmash: god I feel like kageyama saying this but; what is mystic messenger 

Ima-hoot: wow so uncultured 

Ushi’sboyfriend: ok so mystic messenger is basically a game where you message pretty anime bois and gurls and like you can end up dating one of them after choosing a specific route 

Ushijima: How do you know this, ten?

Ushi’sboyfriend: I played it obvi 

Ushijima: Did you like it?

Ushi’sboyfriend: I liked Jumin’s route ;) 

Ushijima: Why are you winking?

IBelievewe’renotalone: There was a lot of pg13 shit in there 

itsgucci: I do remember Tsukki going very red and leaving the room when he was playing

bitch: YAMAGUCHI WHY

itsgucci: this is revenge for making fun of me for playing animal crossing 

youreverydayfuckboi: mushroom, you’re scary 

depressedANDstressed: Animal Crossing is amazing why would you ever diss it tsukishima 

Iwaizumi: how many people have played then 

Iwaizumi: MM not AC

Yaku: ew don’t abbreviate them like that 

Iwaizumi: whatever 

Iwaizumi: so who’s played I need to know who to avoid 

IBelievewe’renotalone: You’re so mean Iwa-chan o(>< )o 

bestboi: I mean i played a little 

maddog: what 

maddog: loser 

bestboi: shut up it was fun

IBelievewe’renotalone: who was your favorite 

bestboi: um uh

bestboi: yoosung 

depressedANDstressed: understandable

BigMakkiDaddy: wait wait wait 

BigMakkiDaddy: so can we call you 

BigMakkiDaddy: …

bestboi: dont say it 

BigMakkiDaddy: Rika?

IBelievewe’renotalone: HAHSHAHAHSVHSJSK LMAOOO

depressedANDstressed: that’s mean

Ushi’sboyfriend: omg omg omg 

bitch has changed bestboi’s username is 

Rika 

Daichi: I’m so confused what does that mean 

Rika: I hate everything 

itsgucci: who the hell is Rika 

Tobio: it seems that the author is referencing something that only a select few of the readers will understand and has been playing Mystic Messenger so much that they can’t stop thinking about how much they love 707 

Smolgiant: what are you talking about 

rollingthunder: tobio I have to ask, in fact I’ve always wondered, do you get high a lot 

Sugarandspicy: Noya!

Yaku: hey that’s kinda rude 

Daichi: Dont speak to my son like that 

Tobio: yeah I’m high right now actually lol

Ima-hoot: lololol 

Youreverydayfuckboi: fuck dude you’re so honest 

Lemmesmash: that explains a lot 

Tobio: me and yamaguchi get high together after practice somtimes 

itsgucci: stop exposing me

bitch: what the fuck 

sweetandsassy: you didn’t know?

bitch: no of course I know thats yams is a pot head 

bitch: i didnt know he willingly hung out with the stupid king tho 

Sugarandspicy: I can’t believe two of my kids do drugs-one of which being the one I trusted the most to make the best choices out of all the others. Tobio. Tadashi. 

Sugarandspicy: why didn’t you invite me to supervise 

hhhbees: mom stop 

Yaku: I’m so-

IBelievewe’renotalone: Hasnt everyone tried pot at least once 

Daichi: No

Ushijima: I vape.

maddog: same^

Sugarandspicy: NO

Iwaizumi: mayhaps

Youreverydayfuckboi: lets back up 

Youreverydayfuckboi: babe I made some brownies are you interested 

itsgucci: hell yeah 

itsgucci; come over now 

Smolgiant: drugs make me uncomfortable kageyama 

Tobio: it’s not like I’m smoking anything dangerous

Ima-hoot: as long as it’s not hurting them what’s the problem ya know 

Smolgiant: can we please not talk about this 

Plumfucker: what’s up your butt, shrimpy

Smolgiant: I just don’t like it ok

hhhbees: alright alright that’s fine 

bitch: why’s he acting so uptight wtf 

Sweetandsassy: what a boomer

depressedANDstressed: guys stop 

Kinno: :|

Sugarandspicy; my son spoke!

Daichi: kinnoshita and narita are my favorite kids

beardedanxietyattack: theyre very good and quiet 

Sugarandspicy: take notes Noya

Ushi’sboyfriend: y’all are annoying, can we please stay on topic

Ushi’sboyfriend: I wanna know why number ten’s so freaked out over drugs 

Daichi: It’s not our business.

Ushi’sboyfriend: oh??

Sweetandsassy: what do you know daichi

Plumfucker: what secrets do you have 

Lemmesmash; can someone tell me why my boyfriend just downloaded mystic messenger becuade of this stupid gc and now is ignoring me

Egg: maybe it’s cause anime boys are hot

Lemmesmash: and I’m not???

Ushi’sboyfriend: they’re not real people tho, they’re written out and like have specific dialogue options that make u feel good 

Tobio: oh the irony of us saying that 

Iwaizumi: what?

Tobio: anyways I feel like I should clarify that I don’t smoke often

Tobio: just after games that we win as a little celebration and on the saturdays that shoyo goes to tokyo to see kenma and yamaguchis not busy

Sugarandspicy: oh

Sugarandspicy: alright then I’m ok with that

Sugarandspicy; just remember to take care of yourself 

BigMakkiDaddy: didn’t you say you were high right now tho dude

Tobio: today’s different 

Tobio: I’m just really bored 

Ima-hoot: ajshshahahhahahs

sweetandsassy: lolololololol

bitch: i actually wanna fight you 

Rika: y’all are the worst I’m leaving I’m tired 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Nooo Yahaba!!! We love yuuuu dont leaveveeee 

Iwaizumi: if he’s tired let him go to sleep 

IBelievewe’renotalone: It’s seven oclock hes gonna mess up his sleep schedule 

Iwaizumi: you literally sleep ten hours a night shittykawa 

Plumfucker: mom and dad are fighting oh noooo

BigMakkiDaddy: mommy daddy stop 

Iwaizumi: oh my fucking god stop ew ew ew 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Yea 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Wait whos mom and who’s daddy

Iwaizumi: you never pass up an opportunity to say daddy do you 

IBelievewe’renotalone: :)

Maddog: iwaizumi is mom 

Egg: ^mhmm

BigMakkiDaddy: oikawa is daddy but like he’s a really needy and whiny dad that Iwaizumi constantly has to deal with 

Iwaizumi has left the chat room

sweetandsassy: no come back!

IBelievewe’renotalone has left the chat room

Ushijima: So, who’s Rika?

Rika: sigh 

Chapter Text

Rika: wouldn’t it be nice if Kyoutani just 

Rika: went away for awhile

IBelievewe’renotalone: Yahaba what did you do? 

Rika: nothing 

Rika: I’m just saying that he’s a jerk and I may or may not be investing in a few baseball bats 

Iwaizumi: I’ve told you this before Yahaba,but if you kill/maim/threaten/lock in a supply closet/or attempt to set rabid ferrets on maddog, I will be calling both your moms

Maddog: what the hell I haven’t even done anything 

Lemmesmash: you’re just generally an ass

Ima-hoot: damn Aoba Johsai has some drama

Tobio: wow iwaizumi and daichi are so alike 

Dadchi: Shush, son

Iwaizumi: im ok with that he sounds like a responsible guy

Dadchi: Oh, thank you. You sound like a great guy too.

Sugarandspicy: aww they’re bonding 

IBelievewe’renotalone: omg what if they were the first couple from different teams in our chat

Ushijima: It could have been you and me.

IBelievewe’renotalone: What

Ushi’sboyfriend: what

Iwazumi: Wat

Tobio: anyways what did maddog do

sweetandsassy: nice job changing the convo

Tobio: thx

Rika: ok so get this 

BigMakkiDaddy: oh boy here we go 

Plumfucker: this better be juicy

Rika: I’m just minding my own business, eating an orange 

Bab: go on 

Rika: and then maddog strolls in 

Yaku: yeah?

Rika: and he tells me that if we were both in Harry Potter, I’d be that house elf and he’d be the cane that Lucius Malloy beats me with 

rollingthunder: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BigMakkiDaddy: WHAT THE FUCK JAJAJAJAJA

sweetandsassy: LMAOOOOOO

Plumfucker: lololololololololol

Ima-hoot: that’s soooo messed up why am I laughing 

Rika: it wasn’t funny 

Iwaizumi: it’s a little funny 

Rika: what the hell dad

IBelievewe’renotalone: I think he was flirting with you, my favorite little oblivious kouhai

Rika: whatnothatsnotwhatwashappeningshutup

maddog: yeah how the hell would that be flirting

itsgucci: wait aren’t you two dating?

Rika: EXCUSE ME WHAT 

Rika; SKNSNDJSKSJKSWK NO JO NO NSOS 

maddog: ew 

Rika: HES ACTUALLY THE WORST PEROSN I KNOW WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOHT NEVR SAY THAT AGAINNN WHAY ARE USO THETS WKKW FOCKL

depressedANDstressed: that’s a lot of typos 

Rika: AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN EW????!!??!?

Sweetandsassy: oof mate

maddog: i mean ew 

maddog: you’re ew 

Rika: IM EW??? I AM??? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN YOURSELF??? 

maddog: your personality is ew 

Rika: what

maddog: you’re like a little schoolgirl whos always whining about everything 

maddog: I swear you’re always trying to look perfect in front of Oikawa and your upperclassmen

maddog: it’s so annoying 

Rika: I’m not trying to be anything i'm not

Rika: and just because you don’t make an effort, doesn’t mean I can’t 

Rika: and if you think I’m perfect then clearly you’re just jealous

maddog: that’s not what I meant

maddog: you’re like sknddnns

BigMakkiDaddy: use your words big guy

maddog: you’re the kind of person who makes everything into a big deal, even when it’s not 

Rika: wow thanks for trying to make my dedication to the team sound like I’m just obsessed and have a superiority complex 

maddog: wow you put it perfectly 

maddog: that’s exactly what I meant 

Plumfucker: huh u know what maybe mad dog is right 

Rika: what

IBelievewe’renotalone: Hey, knock it off

Iwaizumi: Mattsun don't agree with maddog or else Yahaba might skip practice 

IBelievewe’renotalone: And we love him?

Iwazumi: oh yeah that too 

Rika: you know what

Rika: i don’t have anything wrong with me 

Rika: I’m just being myself, and you’re angry that I have better strategy and patience than u

Rika: I’m going to bed 

Ushi’sboyfriend: there’s so much drama with you people 

Ushi’sboyfriend: I love it!! 

Sugarandspicy: tendou you’re a strange guy

Ushi’sboyfriend: lolololololol I prefer the term-socially unacceptable 

Ushijima: I think you’re wonderful.

Ushi’sboyfriend: see this is why I love u

Ushi’sboyfriend: and why Oikawa is def missing out 

IBelievewe’renotalone: I’m gonna file a restraining order against you two 

Iwaizumi: I should get my own to ward off you stinkykawa 

Smolgiant: haha stinky 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Noooo Chibi-Chan why

Ima-hoot: okay but 

Ima-hoot: how many couples are in this chat?

Tictoksnacattac: yeah I need to know who I can flirt with 

bitch: you can’t flirt with anybody 

Sugarandspicy: yeah we don’t want anyone to cry 

rollingthunder: fuck u killed him

Sweetandsassy: ok so I’m dating Kenma 

depressedANDstressed: I’m dating my anime boyfriends and tolerate Kuroo 

Sweetandsassy: babe :,(

Lemmesmash: I’m kind of sort of dating kindaichi

Ima-hoot: who 

Lemmesmash: turnip head

Bab: what do you mean kind of 

Lemmesmash: when you give me back my crocs we can make it official 

Bab: wow 

Youreverydayfuckboi: lil gucci and I are getting it on 

itsgucci: don’t use that wording 

itsgucci: we’ve been on like seven dates

itsgucci: four of which were eating pork buns in that old broken park with like a ton of police tape 

Youreverydayfuckboi: god that was so romantic, mushroom 

Ushi’sboyfriend: alright well Ushi and I are seeing each other

Ushijima: Yes. 

Plumfucker: makki and I are fucking 

Iwaizumi: why can’t you ever just say things normally 

BigMakkiDaddy: how else would he say it lololol

Sugarandspicy: I guess that’s all the couples in the chat

corn: does everyone know Yui Michimiya 

Rollingthunder: Kyioko!!! Yes I do!! Do you need me to tell her something for u?

Tictoksnacattac: dude don’t address her so casually

Dadchi: yeah we know her, she’s on the girls v ball team 

Sugarandspicy: of course you know her you’re always talking with each other 

Dadchi: what

Sugarandspicy: so what about her Kiyoko 

corn: i may be dating her 

Beardedanxietyattack: aw congrats, Kiyoko 

Rollingthunder: you’re dating someone?

Sugarandspicy: OMG REALLY THATS AMAZING!!!!!!! 

corn: thnk u

Sweetandsassy: wow Suga you’re name is fucking accurate you were just literally a sour patch kid 

Smolgiant: Kiyoko I’m happy for u!!

corn: thnks shoyo

BigMakkiDaddy: hold up 

BigMakkiDaddy: sour patch kid wat

Sweetandsassy: well u know cause he was all sour at first and then sweet 

Sugarandspicy: What 

Sweetandsassy: you know cause like 

depressedANDstressed: Kuroo honey, shush 

Sweetandsassy has changed their username to;

Kuroo-Honey

Kuroo-Honey: omggggg babe that’s the first pet name you’ve ever given meeeee ahahaha

DepressedANDstressed: how do I change your username 

Kuroo-Honey: HA 

Kuroo-Honey: you don’t have admins access 

DepressedANDstressed: who the shit gave you it

Smolgiant: he said he wanted to change kageyamas name to something funny so gave it to him 

Smolgiant: sorry :,(

Tobio: wow you’re the worst 

Smolgiant: I’m sorry kenma I love u

Smolgiant: shut the hell up baka 

DepressedANDstressed: it’s fine Shoyo <3

DepressedANDstressed: Kuroo I’ll fight u 

Dadchi: I don’t know how you guys do this.

Dadchi: Kenma, Hinata, I say this as a concerned father, and not as someone who wishes to be intruding on your relationships,

Dadchi: But, why aren’t you two together?

Plumfucker: fuck that’s a heavy question dude 

Lemmesmash: I mean he ain’t wrong 

Kuroo-Honey: I-

Kuroo-Honey: I’m standing right here 

Smolgiant: wha 

DepressedANDstressed: um 

Sugarandspicy: maybe too direct daichi?

Dadchi: I was just wondering

Tobio: kenma has a boyfriend

DepressedANDstressed: ok so 

DepressedANDstressed: both of them make me really happy 

DepressedANDstressed: both are people that I love 

DepressedANDstressed: but they’re different and make me happy in different ways 

DepressedANDstressed: the three of us have already talked about this 

DepressedANDstressed: so that’s my answer 

Dadchi: I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to us that.

Smolgiant: well uh 

Smolgiant: I think the most important part is that I don’t wanna kiss kenma and stuff ya know 

Smolgiant: I’m not attracted to him like I am to other people 

Ushi’sboyfriend: ok wait whore you attracted to then 

Ushi’sboyfriend: *who are 

Bab: don’t act like that was a typo

Ushi’sboyfriend: :)

BigMakkiDaddy: now that we’ve gotten the kenma and shrimpy problem solved 

BigMakkiDaddy: spill the tea on who you’re having fantasies about kiddo 

Sugarandspicy: don’t call him kiddo in the same sentence that you’re asking about wet dreams 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Ok what

IBelievewe’renotalone: I left for only like ten mins to put on a face mask and do my hair 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Why are we talking about wet dreams 

hhhbees: what kind of mask

IBelievewe’renotalone: Cucumber, now someone explain 

Iwaizumi: just scroll up shittykawa 

Smolgiant: you’re so gross!!! 

Smolgiant: I’m baby I don’t have those 

Plumfucker: fuck he’s right 

Plumfucker: we cant bully him guys he’s baby

Ushijima: Oh no.

Ushi’sboyfriend: guys he can’t be baby 

tictoksnacattac: dude he is we can’t do anything about it 

Tobio: I am so confused 

rollingthunder: like always 

Tictoksnacattac: guys kageyama is baby too

Tobio: >:(

Tobio: What does the mean 

BigMakkiDaddy: it means I’m not allowed to say anything crass about y’all 

Plumfucker: damn and I really wanted some tea 

Iwaizumi: stop saying that 

bitch: can’t we all just say it 

itsgucci: say what tsukki 

bitch: that the stupid king and other idiot like each other

bitch: i mean, it’s obvious right 

Smolgiant: wait what 

Smolgiant: no 

Smolgiant: I DONT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM SHUT UP 

Tobio: oh 

Smolgiant: kageyama I swear he’s lying 

Smolgiant: I swear please don’t believe him it’s not true

Smolgiant: i dont I swear I’m not even gay or anything 

Tobio has left the chat 

Chapter Text

hhhbees: oh my fuck help 

hhhbees: please god Suga I need help 

Ushi’sboyfriend: are you alright?

hhhbees: Suga pls I need you to pick me up 

Dadchi: Suga’s with kageyama, what’s wrong?

hhhbees: I’m gonna cry ohmy god he’s gonna come looking for me 

Youreverydayfuckboi: who? Are you safe? Should I call the police? 

hhhbees: no I

BigMakkiDaddy: is this a joke I’m actually getting nervous 

Tictoksnacattac: srsly Ennoshita whats wrong

Tictoksnacattac: I’ll come get you if you need me to

IBelievewe’renotalone: I am actually freaking out

IBelievewe’renotalone: whats he doing?

Plumfucker: your mom 

Iwaizumi: nice one but not the time 

itsgucci: Ennoshita?

yellowbricks: senpai?

hhhbees: I’m shitting my brains out at a diner on a fucking date with a guy and I’m dying 

hhhbees: I swear I’m dying someone come get me 

Iwaizumi: i-

Tictoksnacattac: what’s the address 

hhhbees: it’s that diner we always pass on the way to the movie theater 

Tictoksnacattac: k I’ll be there soon 

hhhbees: bring me some pants I think these are ruined 

Ima-hoot: this is so horrible to read but man does it give me bridesmaids energy 

Maddog; whats that 

stressedANDdepressed: am American movie 

Ushijima: Oh I loved that movie 

hhhbees: guys he’s here he’s asking me if I’m ok I don’t know what to do 

Plumfucker: I can’t I’m sorry this is straight out of a rom com

RussianXmodel: I’m so sorry but I can’t stop laughing 

hhhbees: I told him I was fine at the same time my bowels betrayed me 

hhhbees: I actually want to die 

BigMakkiDaddy: hahahahaha Hahahah 

Iwaizumi: lmafo

Dadchi: enno no 

beardedanxietyattack: I am so sorry that’s horrible 

corn: lol

bitch: if it makes you feel better, yams pissed his pants on his first date with a girl 

itsgucci: TSUKKI NO WHY 

Youreverydayfuckboi: HAHAHAHAHA YOURE NASTY BABE

itsgucci: I was nervous!!

Dadchi: Asahi once burped so loud during class that the teacher stopped her lesson to stare at him 

Beardedanxietyattack: DAICHI 

Smolgiant: once Kenma called me becuas he was at his grandparents’s house and he clogged the toilet and I had to help him figure out how to unclog it and it took an hour 

StressdANDdepressed: Shoyo I trusted u 

Iwaizumi: once shittykawa accidently locked himself outside after letting his dog out into his backyard and it was just after a shower and he only had a robe on and he had to walk over to my house and then ask my parents  to let him climb our roof and then he jumped from ours to his and during his jump he ended up accidently flashing my dad and it was horrible 

IBelievewe’renotalone: IWA CHAN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU SPILLING MY SECRETS

Ushijima: Once, I scared Oikawa, on accident and he fell over a bench. I tried to help him up, but he kept slapping me away. So eventually, I just left and I’m pretty sure he was stuck between the bench and the wall. 

Ushijima: I still feel quite bad about that.

IBelievewe’renotalone: WHAT THE HELL SHUT UP

BigMakkiDaddy: omg is that why we had to help you out from under the bench that one time 

Plumfucker: you were so lucky it was just me and makki who found u

BigMakkiDaddy: yeah imagine if it was Yahaba he wouldve lost all respect 4 u

IBelievewe’renotalone: I hate all of you 

Rika: I still respect captain!

Rika: it’s not his fault he got jumpscared 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Yahaba you’re the only person in this world that I trust 

Rika: omg thank you capitan!!!! 

Maddog: why are we sharing personal crap like this 

Kuroo-Honey: we’re bonding 

Lemmesmash: does anyone have any dirt on maddog 

Bab: not anything I can say here 

Rika: wait what do you have on him???? Spill!!!!

Bab: it’s about u 

Rika: what???? What’d he do to me???? Was I asleep??? 

IBelievewe’renotalone: Oh this is adorable 

Rika: senpai???

rollingthunder: you call him senpai 

Smolgiant: you made me call u that 

rollingthunder: made you???? You willingly said it

Smolgiant: sush your face 

stressedANDdepressed: is Ennoshita okay tho? 

Ima-hoot: oh yeah dude are you ok 

Tictoksnacattac: I picked him up and dropped him off at his palace he’s fine 

Tictoksnacattac: I feel bad about laughing but omg he’s got the worst food poisoning 

Tictoksnacattac: my car’s backseat has vomit stains all over 

maddog: oof 

Youreverydayfuckboi: but he’s okay, right??

hhhbees: yes

Tictoksnacattac: I thought I told you to take some pepto bismol and go to bed 

hhhbees: yeah I’m just so embarrassed I’m so sorry I thought I was texting on a private chat to Suga and like 

hhhbees: ugghhhh 

BigMakkiDaddy: dude it’s fine everyone shits 

hhhbees: do you text your entire vollyball team and every other team in the area about it too?

BigMakkiDaddy: well no but like we’re all friends 

BigMakkiDaddy: we’d never judge you for shit like that 

BigMakkiDaddy: pun intended 

hhhbees: well I don’t think Kōkō feels the same 

Youreverydayfuckboi: who 

hhhbees: the guy I was out with 

hhhbees: he just texted me and said he’d ‘rather see other people’ 

Dadchi: What a dick 

itsgucci: I’ll literally eat his face off 

hhhbees: ugh could u 

Youreverydayfuckboi: maybe thats for the best he sounds like a tool 

hhhbees: i mean yeah but we were supposed to go to this carnival this weekend 

hhhbees: I bought the tickets and everything 

Smolgiant: oh bummer me and stupid kageyema were gonna go too 

Dadchi: Are you two still not talking?

Smolgiant: it’s complicated 

bitch: maybe you shouldn’t have sounded so grossed out at the possibility of dating him 

Smolgiant: shut up you’ve done enough 

bitch: i was just trying to get rid of the annoying sexual tension between u 2

Smolgiant: stop it!!!! There’s nothing going on between us!

BigMakkiDaddy: he looks at you like he wants to eat u 

Smolgiant: STOPIIMGONNACRYSHUTUP

Dadchi: Stop bullying your brother, Tsukki.

bitch: oh that’s a scary thought 

bitch: being related to idiot 1 or 2

bitch: If i was related to the king id actually cry 

itsgucci: huh I’ve never actually seen you cry

tsukki 

bitch: what I’m not a robot I can cry 

itsgucci: yes you are and also enno?

hhhbees: yeah?

itsgucci: why don’t you go to the carnival with terushima? He’s supposed to visit me all of this weekend but I’ve got to help my mom on the night of the carnival so 

itsgucci: it’ll give him something to do 

hhhbees: omg yeah! That sounds like fun!!

Youreverydayfuckboi: hahaha that sounds great

hhhbees: cool :) 

BigMakkiDaddy: am I the only who feels like he just set his boyfriend up with someone else lololol

Dadchi: hahaha 

IBelievewe’renotalone: No you aren’t the only one 

Youreverydayfuckboi: what’re you talking about, I’m just hanging out with the guy 

itsgucci: yeah and it’s not like I care if he hangs out with other guys or anything 

Kinno: you guys are a weird couple 

Smolgiant: yeah and come to think of it, you never talk about your boyfriend with us, Yamaguchi 

itsgucci: i don’t want people to get annoyed 

bitch: what like who 

itsgucci: um 

itsgucci: you 

bitch: sorry? 

itsgucci: idk you just always look annoyed whenever I mention teru

bitch: that’s just cause you’re annoying 

Lemmesmash: wow you’re actually a bitch 

bitch: naw, just honest 

itsgucci: tsukki, you are kind of a bitch 

bitch: shut up Yamaguchi

itsgucci: tsukki that’s literally your username 

bitch has changed their username to;

notabitch

notabitch: whatcha gonna do now 

itsgucci: are you like angry I’m not spending as much time with you anymore?

notabitch: what? 

itsgucci: you’ve been kinda moody lately 

notabitch: :|

itsgucci: and  I wasn’t gonna say anything earlier but I’m disappointed in how you treated Kageyama and Shoyo’s feelings yesterday

notabitch: wait are you being serious 

itsgucci: yeah?

notabitch: sorry then? What do you want me to say?

itsgucci: um 

notabitch: I’ve literally said nothing about you dating him I don’t care at all

notabitch: do what you want 

Youreverydayfuckboi: soooooooo the carnival is gonna so much fun

Youreverydayfuckboi: babe I’ll win you a stuffed animal 

Dadchi: I’m going with Suga and Ashai, so maybe we’ll see you there.

Beardedanxietyattack: oh um actually I can’t go with you two 

Dadchi: What, why? 

Beardedanxietyattack: um so Noya and I are gonna go together 

Beardedanxietyattack: sorry I should’ve told you sooner 

Dadchi: No No! I’m so happy you two are dating! You’ve been telling me for ages how much you wanted to ask him out! 

Beardedanxietyattack: we

Beardedanxietyattack: we aren’t dating I

rollingthunder: hold up

Dadchi: oh shit wait no I was talking about something else or Uh 

rollingthunder: Asahi I was asking you to go to the carnival as my date 

rollingthunder: cause I think you’re cute 

rollingthunder: I thought I made that clear lol 

Sugarandspicy has entered the chat room

Sugarandspicy: OH SHIT I CAME IN THE BEST MOMENT EVER WOOOHOOOO THATS MY BOYSS

Beardedanxietyattack: Oh um cool I’m just uh 

Beardedanxietyattack: gonna head out I wanna go buy something to wear on our 

Beardedanxietyattack: date 

rollingthunder: bye  ( ˘ ³˘)♥ 

Beardedanxietyattack: <3

Beardedanxietyattack has left the chat room

rollingthunder has left the chat room 

IBelievewe’renotalone: That was the cutest fucking thing ive ever seen 

Sugarandspicy: I’m so proud of them!!!!! 

Sugarandspicy: it makes me feel all romanceyyy 

Bab: is that a real word?

Sugarandspicy: totally! 

Sugarandspicy: but there are so many couples here now! I feel like we need one more! 

Sugarandspicy: sooooo

bitch: where r u going with this mom 

Sugarandspicy: Hinata I talked with Tobio and he said that he wants to talk to you face to face after practice today 

Sugarandspicy: you two better work this out becuase I want grandkids 

Smolgiant: What are you implying?!?!?!

Sugarandspicy: I’m not implying anything I’m literally saying; talk it out so I can meet your future kids 

Smolgiant: Idkwhatyoiretlskingaboutwhaytheno

Ushi’sboyfriend: was that English 

RussianXmodel: hinata im really stupid but even I can tell that you and kageyama like each other 

stressedANDdepressed: yes you are stupid 

stressedANDdepressed: really really stupid 

stressedANDdepressed: like one of the dumbest people I know 

Yaku: mmmhmmm yes that’s true 

RussianXmodel: is there a point to your words kenma 

stressedANDdepressed: yeah so anyways 

stressedANDdepressed: just be honest shoyo 

stressedANDdepressed: and if he’s been stringing you along the whole time, I’ll break his kneecaps 

Smolgiant: thanks but 

Smolgiant: this is weird 

Smolgiant: everyone knew I liked him and they’re from different schools??? 

Smolgiant: like I’m not that dumb right 

notabitch: you are

Sugarandspicy: tsukki shut it 

Bab: I’ve known the king for like five years dude 

Smolgiant: yeah?

Bab: yeah and he was a total jerk ya know 

Bab: he was mean and insulting and he was always glaring at me and my boyfriend 

Bab: but you make him like softer? Like he seemed easier to be around 

Bab: I still don’t like him but you two are good together 

Smolgiant: oh 

Smolgiant: thank u turnip head 

Bab: THATS NOT MY NAME 

lemmesmash: that was so nice tho Yuutarou 

Bab: yea 

BigMakkiDaddy: my kids are growing up :,) 

Plumfucker: so sweet and innocent 

Iwaizumi: very proud 

Lemmesmash: babe come over my parents aren’t home 

IBelievewe’renotalone: and there it is 

Chapter Text

Smolgiant: guess who’s back

Tobio: back again

Smolgiant: it’s hinata 

Tobio: and his boyfriend 

BigMakkiDaddy: is that your guys way of telling us you got together finally 

notabitch: that didn’t rhyme 

Ima-hoot: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG 

Kuroo-Honey: I knew u two could do it 

rollingthunder: IM GONNA SCREAM YESSSYESSSYESSS MY BROS R TOGETHER

Dadchi: I’m really so happy for you two.

itsgucci: congrats!!!!!!!!

Sugarandspicy: im actually tearing up 

Tictoksnacattac: oh wow he’s actually crying 

Smolgiant: Suga no!!!! Don’t be sad!! 

Sugarandspicy: I’m not sad!!!! I’m so happy that you two worked things out! I feel like a proud parent!!

Lemmesmash: aren’t you already established as the team mom 

Sugarandspicy: yeah but that’s just a joke and stuff 

Sugarandspicy: I actually feel so proud like how I imagine a dad might feel 

hhhbees: awww who knew this chat would give way to so many romances 

IBelievewe’renotalone: IM A MATCHMAKER

Iwaizumi: congrats you two 

Iwazumi: also what 

IBelievewe’renotalone: I created this gc, right? 

Plumfucker: yeah?

IBelievewe’renotalone: Well becuase of it, almost everyone here in a relationship has gotten together becuase of it!

Iwaizumi: r u seriously taking credit for people falling in love 

IBelievewe’renotalone: I am! You’re all very welcome!!!

IBelievewe’renotalone: And Tobio-Chan, I’m happy that you finally found someone who feels the same

Tobio: liking you will forever be a stain on my past 

Smolgiant: you had a crush on the grand king?????

IBelievewe’renotalone: Now now, there’s no reason to get jealous, I told him then he was too young for me and today I say the same thing. 

Tobio: also I was like 12

IBelievewe’renotalone: Not my fault 

Smolgiant: I was just announcing I had a boyfriend finally can we not 

Tobio: oh yeah so anyways

Tobio: Shoyo is my boyfriend!! We love each other!!

Bab: you guys have already said I love you????

Egg: that’s awfully fast 

Yaku: huh watari you haven’t messaged in awhile 

Tobio: yeah I think the author forgot about you for a bit

Egg: who?

Tobio: nvrmd 

Smolgiant: Tobio and I already said we loved each other before we started dating 

Tobio: yeah he’s really annoying tho 

Smolgiant: I’ll break up with u 

Tobio: oh god you can threaten me with that now huh

Smolgiant: that and some more things you’ll def miss 

Ushi’sboyfriend: oooh sexual things?

Ushijima: I apologize about him.

Smolgiant: don’t worry I was referencing sexy stuff

notabitch: ew

IBelievewe’renotalone: Anyways, ive created basically every couple here except kunimi and kindaichi 

Iwaizumi: What about that manager girl and her gf from the karasuno girls vball team 

corn: I mean she isn’t here tho

IBelievewe’renotalone: EXACTLY

IBelievewe’renotalone: So, still every couple HERE is thanks to me 

IBelievewe’renotalone has changed 

their username to; Cupid

Iwaizumi: you’re so stupid 

Ima-hoot: yeah also Kuroo and Kenma were dating before this too 

Kuroo-Honey: mmhmm 

Cupid: Why did you you agree with Iwa Chan??? 

He’s so mean!

Ushijima: My relationship started around two months ago apparently, so I cannot say you are the cause. 

Ushi’sboyfriend: well actually no the reason we got together is becuase I was jealous of how much you wanted to fuck Oikawa 

Ushi’sboyfriend: also you realized here that we are together 

Cupid: No stop I don't want to hear that shit 

Cupid: I’m not a matchmaker I take it back 

Iwaizumi: HAHAHAHAHAHA 

Iwaizumi: man you and ushijima will just always be linked together 

Ushi’sboyfriend: mmm yes I’ve accepted that too

Cupid: STOP I AM NOT LINKED OR WHATEVER TO THAT JERK 

Ushijima: Satori and I did talk a little bit ago about how we’re both interested in inviting you over for dinner, one night, down the road.

Cupid: NO LEAVE ME ALONE BOTH OF YOU

BigMakkiDaddy: it’s just dinner captain 

Plumfucker: yeah it’s not their fault if things get saucy ;)

Iwaizumi: im gonna cry im gonna cry ahahhahah

Cupid: YOURE ENJOYING THIS WAY TOO MUCH

Kuroo-Honey: bitch we’re all enjoying this 

Ima-hoot: fuck I’m gonna burst I’m in class why must you all humor me so

Ushi’sboyfriend: look we’re just saying that if you’re up for a threesome you can hit us up 

Dadchi: Hey don’t say that in front of the first years! 

Ushi’sboyfriend: K we’ll send him a private chat

Cupid: YOU WILL NOT SEND ME A PRIVATE CHAT

itsgucci: this is sad to watch 

hhhbees: but boy is it entertaining 

Cupid: STOP SENDING ME INVITES TO PRIVATE CHATS

Ushijima: Just accept them.

Cupid: NO FUCK OFF

Sugarandspicy: So are you two crazy kiddos still going to the carnival together?

Tobio: are you talking to me and Shoyo or Oikawa and ushiwaka 

Sugarandspicy: u and hinata

Smolgiant: we’re going together! 

Tobio: yea we were gonna go with all the first years but then Yamaguchi canceled 

Cupid: Yes great change the subject, just ignore me in my time of crisis 

Iwaizumi: shut up crappykawa 

Beardedanxietyattack: Aw are u really not gonna come Yama?

itsgucci: I would but like my mom needs me to help babysit for my little brother

notabitch: didn’t your mom and little brother go on a trip?

itsgucci: uh she came back 

notabitch: I thought she left like two days ago

itsgucci: short trip 

notabitch: if u say so 

Youreverydayfuckboi: well I’m excited to hang out with y’all 

hhhbees: dude we have to go on the Ferris wheel!!!! I’m so fucking excited I used to go on it with my parents all the time when I was a kid!

Youreverydayfuckboi: I can’t wait 

yellowbricks: hey tsukki why won’t you come tho

notabitch: what Yachi 

yellowbricks: well you can still go and have fun even if hinata and kageyama are a couple now 

notabitch: no offense to the carnival industry, but going to one by myself and wandering around behind a hoard of couples sounds like shit 

yellowbricks: well why don’t you go with me 

notabitch: oh uh 

rollingthunder: wait what 

Dadchi: What?

Sugarandspicy: what

itsgucci: what

notabitch: sure 

notabitch: sounds fun 

yellowbricks: cool! Shoyo come over and we can do each other’s hair

Smolgiant: yee

itsgucci: wait so you two will go together 

yellowbricks: well yes that’s 

yellowbricks: we just said that

itsgucci: like as a

itsgucci: as a 

notabitch: ?

tictoksnacattac: use your words 

Youreverydayfuckboi: babe?

itsgucci: Nevermind! I’ve gotta go! Lololol my moms calling me 

itsgucci has left the chat room 

notabitch: ok?

Ushi’sboyfriend: in other news, I think we’ve made a breakthrough

Ushi’sboyfriend: Oikawa is officially reading our messages 

Cupid: CAN YOU BOTH STOP SENDING THOSE PICTURES 

Sugarandspicy: hey no unwanted dick pics allowed

Iwaizumi: yeah that’s not okay

Ushi’sboyfriend: we’re sending photos of Ushijima’s face actually 

Ushi’sboyfriend: just big ol’ close ups

Cupid: STOP IT HES LOOKING INTO MY SOUL 

Iwaizumi: carry on then lads

Ushijima: Should I send a photo of my garden too? I started growing tomatoes and they’re flourishing.

Tobio: yes definitely 

Ushi’sboyfriend: yes babe seduce him with your plants

Plumfucker: you should start growing plums dude 

Cupid: I HATE ALL OF YOU

Cupid: WHY DID YOU SEND A PHOTO OF YOU FROM GRADE SCHOOL 

Ushijima: I thought you would appreciate it. 

Cupid: Well, I didn't 

Cupid: I thought all of this would end when you two told me you were dating 

Cupid: Now I’ve got both of you trying to get in my pants 

Ushi’sboyfriend: your point?

Ushijima: I’m sorry, but may I please have admins access for a moment?

Dadchi: Are you going to kick Oikawa out?

Ima-hoot: oh thatd be the kicker

Ushijima: No, some people around me would like to know what has my attention.

Ushi’sboyfriend: just say me! Your fabulous bf! 

Ushijima: I don’t think Semi will accept that as an answer.

Plumfucker: go ahead and add your team dude we could use some more drama 

Smolgiant: OH

Smolgiant: add that one guy! Your future ace! He’s so cool!

Ushi’sboyfriend: I-

Ushi’sboyfriend: are you talking about goshiki?

Smolgiant: yeah! him! He’s really cool!

Tobio: not as cool as me 

Smolgiant: I know Tobio 

Tobio: just saying 

Smolgiant: I know baby

Tobio: :)

Lemmesmash: I-

Lemmesmash: why is he being so cute wtf ew

Maddog: cute?

Smolgiant: did u say cute

Bab: I have questions 

Lemmesmash: no I mean he’s being all gross lovey dovey 

Tobio: ooooh someone has a crush on me

Lemmesmash: you actually need to shut up 

BigMakkiDaddy: I love this chat so much 

Cupid: STOP SENDING ME SELFIES 

Sugarandspicy: does anyone know how to put out a gas fire 

Youreverydayfuckboi: I have a gluten allergy this is the worst day of my life 

corn: does anyone know about lesbian sex I need to do research 

Dadchi: Guys, please.

Iwaizumi: sooo ushijima go ahead and add who you want 

rollingthunder: are we gonna ignore what Kiyoko said or?

Tobio: I’m gonna go eat dinner guys my moms are yelling for me bye 

Smolgiant: bye!

Tobio: mwah

Tobio has left the chat room 

Sugarandspicy: when are you 2 gonna go back to calling each other stupid 

Smolgiant: right now actually

Smolgiant: I think the confession feels are wearing off and I’m realizing that I can still love him and call him poophead at the same time 

depressedANDstressed: shoyo I love you but  god you’re dumb somtimes 

Smolgiant: kenma!!! You’re here!!

depressedANDstressed: yes i slept in becuase someone texted me until four am last night about how they wanted to ask out this guy they’ve been crushing on for months and who they think looks like an angry blueberry 

Kuroo-Honey: I texted u at nine last night and you never responded wtf I thought u were asleep

Smolgiant: kenma you are the reason my life has meaning besides vball

depressedANDstressed: (o´ω`o)ﾉ 

Ushijima has added futureACE, Semigay, Shirabu, and Reon to the chat room 

Ushijima: Oh, sorry, were you having a moment?

Smolgiant: nah ur good 

Semigay: why 

Shirabu: how do I get out of this chat

Ushi’sboyfriend: HAHAHAHA HE DOESNT LNOW HOW TO WORK HIS PHONE

Shirabu: I’ll actually stab u

Ushi’sboyfriend has changed shirabu’s username

To; Shirabutt

Shirabutt: how do I change it what the fuck 

futureACE: ahahah! Hi everyone!!!!!! It’s me!!! Goshiki!!!!

Rika: Hi!!!! I’m Yahaba!

Smolgiant: I’m Shoyo Hinata!

notabitch: oh god

Maddog: theres 3 of them 

Reon: huh this looks like actual hell

Iwaizumi: it is

Dadchi: You’d be right to leave.

Semigay: is terushima here?

Youreverydayfuckboi: heyo! Right here!

Semigay: are you still doing that fake dating someone thing?

Sugarandspicy: what

Youreverydayfuckboi: oh I forgot about you 

Cupid: You’re an embarrassment 

Problemchild#1 and Problemchild#2 have 

added themselves to the chat room

BigMakkiDaddy: people can do that??

Cupid: What? No that’s not possible 

Iwaizumi: who are you 

Problemchild#1: it’s ya bois

Smolgiant: oh no

Problemchild#2: oh yes~

Chapter Text

Bab: anyways so pizza

Plumfucker: I can’t believe you said hawian pizza was good 

Lemmesmash: when did he say that 

Plumfucker: this morning at practice 

Bab: it’s amazing 

Lemmesmash: how could you do this to me, bab

Maddog: it’s not pizza 

Tictoksnacattac: uh yes it is

Rika: ewwwww

BigMakkiDaddy: I love hawian

Plumfucker: no no no no babe we need a divorce 

Ushi’sboyfriend: it’s amazing how we can forget a conversation so quickly becuase we’re uncomfortable

Ushijima: Ok, but what about ranch with pizza?

Ushi’sboyfriend: BABY NOOOOOO

Problemchild#1: I’m sorry did you not hear us 

Smolgiant: we heard we’re just uh not really paying attention?

Problemchild#2: the hell shoyo 

Cupid: Who are you and how did you get in here 

Iwaizumi: one time I walked in on idiotkawa putting frosting on his pizza 

Semigay: what the fuck 

Sugarandspicy: CAN YOU BACK UP WHAT DID YOU MEAN ‘FAKE RELATIONSHIP’??

Cupid: Terushima babe, you’re actually the reason I can look back on my life and not say ‘wow I’m the #1 most embarrassing human alive’ 

Iwaizumi: are you roasting yourself 

Iwazumi: I feel strangely annoyed 

Sugarandspicy: someone better tell me right now what this fake dating thing is before I rip out my wig

Ushijima: Oh snap.

Dadchi: Wait, that’s a wig?

Youreverydayfuckboi: ok hold on this is a misunderstanding lemme explain

Maddog: what’s there to explain I think we can all gather what happened 

Cupid: Yeah, Teru, you done fucked up. 

futureACE: I found a cool rock! 

futureACE: oh are we talking about something serious 

Dadchi: No, it’s fine, sweetie. Can you show us the rock?

futureACE: yeah! it looks so shiny!

futureACE: Rock

Dadchi: That looks so cool, kiddo! Great find!

Kuroo-honey: wow daichi you really are a dad

futureACE: I’ll go find more cool rocks! I’ll send you more pics!

Dadchi: Ok, sport, I look forward to them!

Sugarandspicy: that was actually so cute I think I forgot about my anger for a second 

Sugarandspicy: oh no wait it’s back 

Youreverydayfuckboi: ok look I’ll tell you what semi was talking about 

notabitch: I knew you were a shitty guy 

Youreverydayfuckboi: HOLD ON 

Youreverydayfuckboi: look, I told semi awhile ago that I really liked this guy and that I should pretend I already had a bf to make him jealous and blah blah blah 

Youreverydayfuckboi: the point is that it was a joke and that me and mushroom are together now so it didn’t even matter! 

Smolgiant: oh that makes sense

Sugarandspicy: yeah….

Sugarandspicy: so the guy you wanted to make jealous was Yamaguchi?

Youreverydayfuckboi: i didn’t do anything to get him jealous tho 

Youreverydayfuckboi: I didn’t do be fake dating thing on him 

Shirabutt: well ok then can we move on to the more pressing issue of pineapple on pizza

notabitch: wait no what 

Iwaizumi: I mean that sounds legit 

Ushi’sboyfriend: semi is he telling the truth?

Cupid: Semi, be honest 

Semigay: he’s telling the truth 

Sugarandspicy: ok 

Sugarandspicy: I trust semi so 

Sugarandspicy: you’re off the hook 

Dadchi: That was quick.

notabitch: what 

notabitch: you just believe him?

Tictoksnacattac: well why would semi lie?

notabitch: maybe he’s in on it 

Ushi’sboyfriend: what dude no semi doesn’t play around 

Ushi’sboyfriend: I don’t think I’ve ever seen him joke around 

Reon: he does somtimes 

Shirabutt: yeah when you leave he plays uno so 

Ushi’sboyfriend: SEMI 

Semigay: :|

Reon: but you’re right, semi has no reason to lie to any of u

notabitch: i still don’t believe him, I mean, can we think about how weird terushima and Yamaguchi’s relationship is 

Youreverydayfuckboi: Look, I get that you care about your best friend, that’s understandable. But, can you relax? I’m not hurting him or anything, and I won’t ever.

notabitch: that’s not what I’m worried about 

Smolgiant: what else is there to worry about?

Kuroo-Honey: tsukki are you

Ima-hoot: jealous? 

notabitch: jealous of what

Cupid: Oh no 

Youreverydayfuckboi: Oikawa dont 

Cupid: OH NO 

notabitch: what 

Iwaizumi: so can we publicly shame shittykawa now 

Problemchild#1: um no can we focus on me and my brother

Rika: brother…?

Smolgiant: it’s the Miya twins 

notabitch: why am I being ignored the fuck guys 

Problemchild#2: Shoyo why do you sound so unhappy to see us

Smolgiant: no! It’s great to see you! 

Smolgiant: I just think that Tobio might get mad if I-

Smolgiant: talk to you?

Problemchild#2: why we’re so nice

Smolgiant: well you know 

Smolgiant: um stuff 

Problemchild#1: well that clears everything up thank u 

Smolgiant: sorry 

Problemchild#2: well it’s not your fault kageyama is a jerk

Tobio has joined the chat room 

Tobio: someone talking shit about me?

BigMakkiDaddy: holy fuck you summond him 

Cupid: I wish I had that skill 

Iwaizumi: I mean I’m always talking shit about you so maybe you do have it and you just can’t tell 

Cupid: Wow

Smolgiant: Baka no ones talking badly about u

Tobio: he literally called me a jerk 

Smolgiant: and I called you Baka 

Tobio: you’re a dumbass 

Smolgiant: YOURE THE DUMBASS

Tobio: NO YOURE A DUMBASS 

Smolgiant: DUMB DUMB DUMB ASS

Tobio has changed Smolgiant’s username to;

Dumbass

Dumbass: real mature!

Dumbass has changed Tobio’s username to;

Dickwad

Dickwad: what happened to maturity 

Dumbass: I don’t know!

Dumbass:  I got mad! 

Dickwad: well I got mad too!

Dumbass: that’s not my fault! 

Dickwad: yes it is! You’re the reason!

Dumbass: yeah? Well I didn’t mean to!

Dumbass: I love you!

Dickwad: I love you too shut up

Sugarandspicy: I don’t even 

Dadchi: We raised these kids, Suga. We did this. 

Tictoksnacattac: i wish Noya was here to see this 

hhhbees: can you two change your usernames now? It’s confusing to decipher between the two

Youreverydayfuckboi: that’s the adhd, enno 

hhhbees: mm probs 

Dumbass has changed Dickwad’s username to;

Hinata’sSweetheart

Hinata’sSweetheart: wow you somehow made it worse 

Dumbass: change mine to something cute!

Problemchild#2: wait are you two dating?

Hinata’sSweetheart: yes 

Hinata’sSweetheart: suck it 

Problemchild#1: wow 

Hinata’sSweetheart has changed Dumbass’s username to;

Orange 

Semigay: what a let down

Orange: are you kidding me 

itsgucci has entered the chat room 

itsgucci: kageyama you don’t understand romance do you 

Youreverydayfuckboi: I do!

itsgucci: no u don’t 

Hinata’sSweetheart: I thought it was cute 

Orange: :|

stressedANDdepressed: this is the guy you’ve texted me about for months Shoyo 

stressedANDdepressed: the guy you were too nervous to confess to last week 

Kuroo-Honey: well I think orange perfectly describes hinata so

notabitch: yes the next nicknames the king could give him are ‘short’ or ‘loud’

itsgucci: HAHAHA

Problemchild#1: pfffffffft

Hinata’sSweetheart: last time I called him short he glared at me and then practiced sets with Suga San 

Orange: DONT CALL ME SHORT THEN 

Yaku: you’re short tho 

RussianXmodel: have you looked at yourself yaku?

Yaku: THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT DO YOU WANT ME TO ATTACK YOU ARE YOU ACTUALLY PREPARED BECAUSE I HAVE A SPORK AND I WILL SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT 

Kuroo-Honey: Lev you better not be at his house still

RussianXmodel: I’m in the bathroom screaming for help becuase he’s banging on the door idk what to do 

stressedANDdepressed: you dug your own grave 

Problemchild#1: you know we were supposed to have a big dramatic reveal of who we were and why and how we got in here 

Problemchild#2: but you guys ruined it 

Cupid: Sorry?

Iwaizumi: you guys could’ve just come in the normal way 

Problemchild#1: there’s no drama in that 

Ushijima: Oikawa, look at the photo I just sent.

Cupid: No. Never.

Shirabutt: wait were you guys being honest earlier when you said you wanted to have a photoshoot in order to get Oikawa Toru to have a threesome with u 

Ushi’sboyfriend: yes

Semigay: that 

Reon: is slightly horrifying 

Cupid: Slightly????

Cupid: And I don’t want to see shirtless pics of you!!!

BigMakkiDaddy: yeah he already has Iwa 

Iwaizumi: what 

Cupid: what

Ushi’sboyfriend: oh~~~~~~~

A private chat has been opened by; Ushi’sboyfriend and Ushijima 

Ushi’sboyfriend: Ushi’s abs

Accept?

Ushijima: I like that one.

Cupid has accepted 

Cupid: You’re both the worst 

Ushi’sboyfriend: at last! He responds!

Ushijima: Oikawa, do you like the photos?

Cupid: NO

Ushi’sboyfriend: ok look I can see that you obviously like that Iwa Chan guy so if I put on a mask of his face would that sweeten the deal?

Cupid: I don’t 

Cupid: You don’t know what you’re talking about 

Cupid: Iwa Chan and I have been friends forever 

Cupid: I don’t have a crush on him and I do not like you two 

Cupid: Where the hell do you get off saying something like that to me 

Ushi’sboyfriend: I wasn’t trying to offend you

Ushijima: Sorry, if we crossed a line.

Ushi’sboyfriend: we’ll stop bothering you 

Ushi’sboyfriend: I’m sorry 

Ushijima: For what it’s worth, Oikawa, we really do think you’re a great person and what we were offering came from a genuine place. We just wanted to let you have fun with us.

Ushi’sboyfriend: yeah 

Ushi’sboyfriend: we’ll go now 

Cupid: Wait 

Ushi’sboyfriend: ?

Ushijima: Yes? 

Cupid: I think we can work something out 

Semigay has opened a group chat with Youreverydayfuckboi, itsgucci, and Cupid 

Semigay: what have you done 

Youreverydayfuckboi: hahaha what

itsgucci: oh god don’t tell me he knows too 

Youreverydayfuckboi: he doesn’t know 

Semigay: I know 

itsgucci: what the fuck terushima 

Youreverydayfuckboi: I FORGOT OKAY 

itsgucci: NO ITS NOT OKAY 

Semigay: how on earth did he get you to say yes to this 

itsgucci: meat buns 

Semigay: I-

Semigay: maybe you 2 are perfect for each other actually 

Semigay: both of you are actual idiots 

Youreverydayfuckboi: um no I like Ennoshita

itsgucci: yeah 

itsgucci: and he’s gross

Youreverydayfuckboi: stop saying that!!!

Semigay: didn’t Oikawa tell you this was a shitty idea 

Youreverydayfuckboi: mayhaps

Semigay: say that again I dare you 

itsgucci: I really don’t see what the problem here is 

Cupid: The problem is that Ennoshita will get hurt. Not only that, but your best friend is in love with you, and he’s getting hurt too.

itsgucci: excuse me 

Semigay: where were you

Youreverydayfuckboi: you sure took your damn time

Cupid: I was busy looking at shirtless pics of Iwa Chan. 

Semigay: what

itsgucci: tsukki is not in love with me 

Cupid: firstly, it’s none of your business semi

Cupid: secondly, yes he is. I realized today in the chat when he was acting all jealous 

itsgucci: he doesn’t like me

Youreverydayfuckboi: uh mushroom 

itsgucci: what

Youreverydayfuckboi: I think he does 

Youreverydayfuckboi: I mean, he sent me a text earlier saying I ‘better not even think of touching’ you 

itsgucci: that doesn’t mean he likes me 

Cupid: Bitch he likes you 

Semigay: yeah I mean I’m oblivious as hell and even I can see he likes you 

itsgucci: he doesn’t like me okay???

itsgucci: In middle school I asked him to a school dance and he said no, so I know he doesn’t, alright?

Semigay: oof

Cupid: I 

Youreverydayfuckboi: mushroom 

itsgucci: god that was a horrible day

Youreverydayfuckboi: I’m coming over 

itsgucci: ?

Youreverydayfuckboi: I’m coming over

Youreverydayfuckboi: let’s talk about all of this with each other 

itsgucci: oh okay 

itsgucci: my mom is still on her trip 

Youreverydayfuckboi: I’ll be there in a bit 

Youreverydayfuckboi: and I’m sorry 

itsgucci: okay

Itsgucci has left the chat room 

Youreverydayfuckboi has left the chat room 

Semigay: so are we gonna talk about you being in love with iwaizumi 

Cupid: Nope 

Cupid: And if you’d excuse me, I’m gonna go get some free comforting sex to forget about this shit 

Semigay: wait what 

Cupid has left the chat room 

Semigay: what the fuck is wrong with these people 

Chapter Text

Ushi’sboyfriend and Ushijima’s private chat has been opened; 

Ushi’sboyfriend: baby you signed a contract don’t forget

Ushijima. we can’t tell anyone about Sunday 

Ushijima: I know. I just hope he doesn’t take anything out on himself. 

Ushi’sboyfriend: yeah well I think he’s angry he can’t tell that ‘Iwa Chan’ that he likes him 

Ushi’sboyfriend: so he’s taking it out on you 

Ushijima: Well, those scratches on your back make me think he wanted to take it out on you too. 

Ushi’sboyfriend: wow you’re sassy today 

Ushijima: shrug

Ushi’sboyfriend: lolololol ok 

Ushi’sboyfriend: ya know maybe I should start calling you Ushi-chan 

Ushi’sboyfriend: I mean he certainly called you Iwa Chan a lot 

Ushijima: I don’t like that name.

Ushi’sboyfriend: Aw 

Ushi’sboyfriend: well that’s good I don’t like it either 

Ushi’sboyfriend: he should hurry up and tell him tho

Ushijima: Yeah. Let’s hope he does.

Ushi’sboyfriend: can we talk about how flexible he was tho cause damn bitch 

Ushijima has left the private chat room 

BigMakkiDaddy: guess what time it is 

Plumfucker: pie time

BigMakkiDaddy: no

Rika: adventure time!

BigMakkiDaddy: not in the way you’re thinking 

Iwaizumi: quiet time?

BigMakkiDaddy: Hahahaha 

BigMakkiDaddy: you wish 

Cupid: Can you just tell us what you’re talking about 

BigMakkiDaddy: why is everyone else allowed to like be mysterious on here but when I try to be all aloof and shit, y’all get mad 

Lemmesmash: idk I mean aren’t you usually the one who’s always asking for our attention 

BigMakkiDaddy: what no 

Sugarandspicy: yeah I feel like you’re always asking for us to listen to you 

BigMakkiDaddy: I talk a normal amount guys 

Plumfucker: well…

BigMakkiDaddy: BABE 

Hinata’sSweetheart: yeah I mean some of us have never even asked for everyone to listen up or like opened the chat in the middle of the night to ask a question 

Hinata’sSweetheart: but it feels like you’re always doing that 

BigMakkiDaddy: ok well you know what I actually have something to say 

rollingthunder: last week you told everyone to listen up and then you sent us all pictures of your new haircut 

BigMakkiDaddy: ok well I just like to look good and to get positive feedback 

Bab: I mean we would’ve seen you at school anyways tho?

BigMakkiDaddy: NOT EVERYONE

Cupid: Oh so this is about you wanting constant attention 

Iwaizumi: shut up shittykawa you do the same thing all the time 

Cupid: IWA CHAN ＼(;´□｀)/ 

BigMakkiDaddy: I WANT TO PLAY A GROUP GAME OKAY 

Semigay: a group game?

futureACE: GAME?

Orange: I wanna play!!!

Rika: I don’t trust you…

Rika: but what game 

Dadchi: Hinata, Goshiki, you havet even heard what game it is, can you calm down.

Orange: I WANNA PLAY MONOPOLY 

Hinata’sSweetheart: how would we play that over text

Orange: stop ruining my dreams, jerk!

Problemchild#2: yeah kageyama, listen to Shoyo

Hinata’sSweetheart: I 

Hinata’sSweetheart: I really don’t like you 

Sugarandspicy: anyways 

Orange: Baka shut up 

BigMakkiDaddy: guysssss we’re gonna play truth or dare 

Shirabutt: no we’re not doing this 

futureACE: why not!!!!

RussianXmodel: this sounds so fun tho! Yaku, we’ve got to play too!

Yaku: I agree with whoever that other guy was this sounds horrible 

Kuroo-Honey: it’s only horrible if you’ve got something to hide!!

Ima-hoot: guys 

Ima-hoot: Keiji says he’ll play!!!!!!!!

stressedANDdepressed: oh I’ll play then 

Yaku: yeah ok 

BigMakkiDaddy: oh shit thx akaashi 

Plumfucker: who knew people liked him so much 

Hinata’sSweetheart: I mean the readers go crazy for him so 

Orange: what?

Reon: I would suggest we go over who’s playing, but how about whoever doesn’t want to play just say it so this goes faster 

Shirabutt: cool I’ll just observe 

Semigay: hold up no you either play or leave 

Shirabutt: how will I acquire blackmail then 

futureACE: just play with us! 

futureACE:Pwease

Ima-hoot: It won’t be that bad

Shirabutt; fine I’ll play just stop guilting me, goshiki 

Orange: you’re playing, right kageyama 

Hinata’sSweetheart: yeah I mean what else would I be doing during my cousin’s wedding

Kuroo-Honey: ok where’s tsukki and the lovebirds 

Cupid: um Idk about the blonde, but the other two are on a date I think 

Semigay: yep 

Iwaizumi: lets start then

rollingthunder: wait where’s Asahi 

tictoksnacattac: lets summon him!

corn: Asahi 

yellowbricks: asahiiiiii

hhhbees: ass 

hhhbees: sorry autocorrect, *asahi 

beardedanxietyattack: I’m here 

BigMakkiDaddy: great lets start 

BigMakkiDaddy: plumfucker-I mean Mattsun