Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

12th November 4:03

Nikki created the server

Nikki: come on come on I am bored here

Nikki: anyone?

Nikki: plz

Ered has joined the server

Ered: sup

Nikki: yay :D

Nikki: hi there! :) I really want more people to join this so I am glad your here

Ered: Me too, I was bored and saw this and though, what the heck

Ered: thought, dang autocorrect

Preston has joined the server

Preston: HI DOES ANYONE HERE LIKE HAMILTON?!

Ered: erm, no

Ered: I dont, at least

Nikki: what's Hamilton

Nikki: also hi and welcome

Preston: Hi sorry about the enthusiasm. I recently discovered this musical called Hamilton and it's kind of my life now

Preston: But I've been wanting to meet other lgbt+ kids for ages, so hi

Max has joined the server

Max: sup bitches

Nikki: gay bitches

Max: yeah that sounds about right

Ered: I like this persons style

Nurf has joined the server

Dolph has joined the server

Nikki: were you guys in the same place or what that was super weird

Nurf: um... no

Nurf: unless you're also at a local library

Dolph: No I am at my home

Nikki: ok so I'm gonna a wait a few more minutes then we can do introductions and stuff

Ered: ok cool

Nikki: this is so exciting :D

Harrison has joined the server

Neil has joined the server

Nerris has joined the server

Neil.A has joined the server

Nikki: ooh people bomb

Max: that sounds so wrong Nikki

Neil: The grammar here is terrible! I'm leaving!

Ered: seeing full grammar on a server is scary

Nikki: same here

Harrison: I dont mind. Hi everyone!

Nerris: Good grammar shows good initiative

Dolph: I find grammar a little difficult because English is my second language so I might type a little weird, sorry

Harrison: I just scrolled up and saw Hamilton and I'm like, yasss!

Preston: (:D)

Neil.A: hello there you guys dolph what language do you speak :)

Neil: I'm facepalming so badly at your grammar.

Neil: You and Nikki should start a poor grammar group

Dolph: I speak German. I am half German

Neil.A: cool :)

Nikki: ok I think 10 of us is a good number for now so we should start introductions

Nikki: is everyone still here

Ered: yup

Preston: hi

Nurf: yes

Dolph: I am here

Harrison: of course

Nerris: yeah, hi

Neil.A: 😊

Neil: affirmative

Max: regrettably

Nikki: yay ok so were gonna say our preferred names or any nicknames and then age and pronoun or sexuality

Nikki: let's just go in the order we arrived

Nikki: I'll start, hi I'm Nikki and I'm 14, cis female and I'm a lesbian

Nikki: Ered your next

Ered: what's up, I'm Ered and you can pretty much copy and paste Nikki's description for me, except I'm 16

Nikki: oh my gosh lesbian buddies

Ered: 😊

Preston: I guess it's my turn now. I'm called Preston and I'm a trans female, so I go by she/her pronouns. But I date boys, so I'm probably straight in that sense

Nikki: gasp, filthy hetro!

Nikki: jk you can like how you want 😊

Neil: Nikki, did you just use punctuation, twice?!

Neil: I'm shocked!

Nikki: Neil you are interrupting

Neil: Oh, sorry Max.

Max: Its cool people interrupt me 24/7 anyway

Max: Sup, I'm Max and I am a trans Male, so he/him pronouns. I don't know who I like because I hate everyone. And I'm 15

Nikki: legit mood

Preston: That phrase should be the motto of confused teenagers everywhere

Max: wow, I achieved something for once in my shit life!

Nurf: I guess I'm going now

Nurf: Hello, I am Nurf. That's already my nickname anyways. I'm 16 and I'm a pansexual cis male

Ered: high five we can both drive lol

Nurf: :)

Nurf: I haven't been able to drive legally yet though

Nurf: Dolph I think your next

Dolph: Thank you. Hello, I am Dolph and I am 12. As I said previously, I am German. I am cis Male and I'm gay

Nikki: yo what's up I'm gay

Nikki: can you legit say that?!

Dolph: yo what's up I'm gay? Is that correct

Nikki: yeah well done!

Neil: Wait, your name is Dolph and you're German? You're not Hitler, are you?

Dolph: of course not! I hate people making racist assumptions like that about Germans

Max: yeah shut the fuck up Neil

Neil: I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it like that! I'm Jewish so I end up being overly cautious about these things!

Dolph: It is fine, you did not mean harm

Nikki: to redeem yourself to the rest of the chat, and me cos I can boot you, you have to type a sentence in improper grammar

Neil: ...

Neil: i h8 u

Nikki: lol

Harrison: Can I type now

Nikki: sure go ahead

Harrison: thanks. I'm Harrion, I'm 15 and I'm a bisexual. Also, cis male

Harrison: Harrison, not Harrion

Nikki: cool

Nikki: Neil you can talk now

Neil: Thank you. I am Neil, I'm 15 and I'm asexual and aromatic. Cis Male. And sorry if I'm a bit of a dick, I'm functioning on two hours of sleep in the last twenty-nine hours.

Max: mood

Max: also wtf are you a robot

Neil: Of course not. Fuck off

Max: lmao

Nerris: sleep is important to maintain health levels, Neil

Neil: I know, I'm just so busy on the college course I'm doing at school, and all the other useless subjects give me so much fucking homework in addition to that!

Neil: Sorry, I'm ranting now.

Neil: I'll stop.

Nerris: Hey, I'm Nerris.I am non-binary, so I go by they/them pronouns. And I don't date much, so I haven't quite figured that out yet.

Nerris: Oh, and I'm 15

Harrison: Nice

Nikki: last but not least Neil.A it's your turn

Neil: Wait, are we both called Neil? You need a nickname, pronto!

Neil.A: oh ok. Hi everyone! I'm Neil too! I am twelve and I'm pansexual, or pan romantic. Pan something. And I dont really care about pronouns, gender just confuses me. Call me whatever you want

Neil.A: I've never had a nickname also

Neil: What sort of stuff do you like? I'm sorry about this, I just hate the confusion of people saying my name but not meaning me.

Max: dang, Neil you are such an egotist

Neil.A: It is fine I like space I guess it is my obsession

Neil: I am not!

Neil: Alright, should we call you Space?

Nikki: how about Space Kid

Neil.A: I love it :D

Nikki: ok Space Kid it is

Nikki: suits you Neil?

Neil: That's fine, thank you Space Kid

Neil.A changed their name to Space Kid

Space Kid: no problem other Neil

Neil: Please don't call me that.

Preston: btw Harrison did you say you liked Hamilton?

Harrison: Heck yeah baby! I really admire the special effects and Lin's showmanship even if some of the songs could have just been spoken

Preston: I'm in it for the showtunes but that stuff is pretty cool too 😊

Nurf: Save it for the PMing

Nikki: oh yeah I forgot we could pm each other

Nikki: Ered you wanna chat

Ered: sure 😊

Preston: Harrison, what other shows do you like?

Preston: PM?

Harrison: Sure, meet u there

Dolph: Hello Space Kid, I was just wondering, what did you mean when you said gender confuses you? Are you questioning or…

Space Kid: oh I dunno really, sometimes I like going by my biological pronoun which is male but I can tell that's not what I feel like all the time and sometimes I even like going by girl pronouns and I just find it weird. My pronouns change all the time so its hard

Dolph: Alright. Sorry for being nosy

Nurf: Hmmm

Nurf: Space Kid, google genderfluid

Space Kid: OK

Max: oh man I just got back online and u all left

Nurf: I'm here

Nerris: Me too

Dolph: Me also

Max: yeah I just saw Hamilton and I was like nope

Space Kid: oh my gosh thank you Nurf!

Space Kid: Hello everyone my name is Space Kid and I'm genderfluid and pan

Nerris: awesome!

Nurf: Glad to help friend

Max: gender non conformity is fun

Dolph: Perhaps you, Max, Nerris and Preston should create a groupchat for that

Max: maybe

Max: shit gtg bye

Nerris: wonder where he went

Nerris: I got to go too, my mum wants me

Neil: And so it begins!

Neil: I'm going to bed.

Chapter Text

14th November 7:20

Nerris: Hey, is anyone here going to watch the new GoT episodes

Nerris: The first one airs tonight!

Max: I should have known

Max: u are a huge nerd

Max: and so is Neil

Nerris: :(

Harrison: I might if my teachers don't give me too much homework at school today

Nerris: :)

Space Kid: whats GoT

Space Kid: ?

Nerris: Game of Thrones

Nerris: I freaking love that show

Space Kid: Ive heard of it but haven't seen it

Nurf: Good, I think you're too young to watch that

Nurf: Yep, just checked, definitely too young to watch it

Harrison: OK MUM!

Nurf: What?

Max: you're acting like his mum lmao

Harrison: You are now the mum of the groupchat lol

Max: can we change each others nicknames

Nurf: NO! I locked it anyway, so you cant

Nurf: Ha!

Max: buzzkill

Nerris: Wheres Nikki, this is technically her chat?

Max: probably asleep, like we should all be

Max: its like, fucking 6 am

Harrison: It's seven twenty five

Harrison: But yeah, still way too early

Nurf: I've been up for several hours already. Woke up in the middle of the night and remembered I had homework to do

Nurf: My son of a b*tch teacher will fail me if I don't turn it in

Max: dude, why did you censor the swear

Nurf: I dunno, my phone just does it automatically

Harrison: I just couldn't sleep since three am. I had a weird nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep

Nerris: That sucks

Max: I couldn't sleep cos my parents are being so loud

Space Kid: loud?

Space Kid: what are they doing

Max: you don't want to know

Harrison: ohmygoshno

Harrison: stop talking now

Harrison: typing, shit

Nerris: You stopped typing with capital letters, really shows your shock

Nerris: Anything to say groupchat mother?

Nerris: Nurf?

Nurf: sorry, I fell asleep again

Nurf: almost finished my homework

Nurf: and there goes my punctuation

Harrison: Same, I am also really tired

Harrison: I just wanna stay home sick today

Harrison: But I have exams and it makes me hate life

Max: lmao same

Space Kid: teenagers am I right

Space Kid: oh wait

Nerris: Why are you up SK?

Space Kid: I dunno I went to bed too early I guess

Space Kid: what about you Nerris

Nerris: When a new season or episode is coming out the next day, I can't sleep properly cos I'm JUST SO HYPED!

Max: OK then

Max: fuck this I'm going back to sleep

Nurf: Yeah, fuck school

14th November 15:55

Preston: You early birds have dumb reasons for being up that early in the morning

Preston: Harrison, describe your dream

Preston: Harrison?

Nikki: sleeping?

Nikki: also hi, why was no one on yesterday

Dolph: I do not know, perhaps we were all busy

Nikki: ok your full grammar is scary

Dolph: When you learn a second language you usually learn the correct grammar before slang or lingo

Nikki: lingo lol

Nikki: never heard that one before

Preston: are you guys at home. I'm on the bus and my 4G data is acting up

Nikki: yeah, I'm at home

Dolph: I am taught at home

Preston: Oh homeschooled

Dolph: Yes, that is the term I was looking for. I am homeschooled

Nikki: that sucks, I like meeting people

Preston: Yes, you do give off that vibe

Nikki: :)

Nikki: why are you homeschooled?

Dolph: I live somewhere fairly far away from the city (I am assuming that is where you all live) and I can not really leave that often

Max: wtf are u in jail or something

Dolph: No, my papa's work is just complicated

Nikki: is he a gangster

Dolph: No

Dolph: Tell me about your parents

Ered: sup guys

Ered: btw Nikki he wants a subject change, humour him

Dolph: Hello Ered

Dolph: Thank you

Nikki: ok so I never really knew my dad because my mum kept breaking it off with him until he decided to leave for good. But I live with my mum and she's pretty cool. She sleeps around a lot though so I don't think I'll ever get a step parent.

Nikki: oh yeah my mum is pans so she'll pretty much sleep with anyone. That's why I was pretty confident when I came out to her

Ered: lol how did that conversation go

Nikki: I already knew by that point so I just mentioned it casually. she only seemed disappointed that we couldn't do boy talk

Ered: thankfully I never get asked to boy talk with my gay dads

Max: wait ur parents are gay?

Ered: I hope that isn't going to be a problem >:I

Nikki: Ered honey, you're forgetting where you are

Ered: oh right yeah. My dads are gay

Dolph: Do they know about your sexuality

Ered: they do yeah

Ered: theyre cool with it

Dolph: I am happy for you

Preston: I'm at home now, Good For You being out guys!

Preston: (you get mah refernces?)

Max: nobody gets your references Preston

Chapter Text

14th November 19:32

Neil: Hi guys

Neil: Are we bitching about our parents and coming out, because if so, I have the motherload.

Max: where tf have u been

Max: did u sleep all day yesterday

Neil: Sort of.

Neil: I woke up at midnight yesterday, worked for a few hours until I finished my project then went to sleep until now. I feel so refreshed.

Neil: I honestly think I'm nocturnal.

Max: mum, dad, I have something to tell you, I'm nocturnal. But I'm still your child and I hope you can accept me

Neil: Did you use semi-correct grammar just to imitate me?

Max: ...

Max: maybe

Neil: Well, whenever I come out, it will definitely have my standard of grammar.

Harrison: Did someone say bitching about our parents

Max: maybe

Harrison: Finally, a place to talk

Nikki: that's like, the whole point Harrison

Nikki: are u out to your parents

Nikki: ?

Harrison: Not exactly

Harrison: When I dated my first guy I mentioned it quietly and I don't think they heard me

Harrison: Not that they'd care about anything I say anyway

Max: lmao same

Max: to mine, I'm still Maxine

Neil: I'm sorry, that's such a dumb name that I can't take it seriously

Max: me neither

Max: I hate it so much

Nerris: I also hate being misgendered

Nerris: Nobody takes being nonbinary seriously

Nikki: this is sad :(

Nikki: isn't anyone out to their parents comfortably?

Nerris: I'm out to my parenst and they accepted me after asking a few questions first. But I'm not really out to the general population

Nerris: If someone asks, I'll tell them, but otherwise I just let people call me whatever

Max: I'm only out to you guys and my uncle, who is also transgender

Max: but my parents never tall to him, so that's not a good sign

Max: talk not tall

Neil: That sucks.

Nerris: Are you out Neil?

Neil: I can't be bothered to deal with my parents complaining about how I'll never give them grandchildren or asking me if it's just a phase or telling me that I 'just haven't met the right person yet' when they already complain about my lifestyle enough as it is.

Neil: So, no.

Max: fucking parents, am I right?

Neil: Certainly.

Neil: I think my lack of significant others has made them get part of the message though. Their hopes are not high, which is good.

Nikki: right, who here is out

Nikki: anyone

Nikki: spam so they answer

Nikki: spam

Nikki: spam

Nikki: spam

Nikki: spam

Nurf: what the fuck are you doing

Nikki: its working!

Nikki: spam

Nikki: spam

Nikki: spam

Nikki: spam

Nikki: spam

Ered: my phone was buzzing so much my teacher thought it was ringing and sent me outside answer it

Max: ur at school at this time?!

Ered: extra catch up work and detention is not a healthy combination

Max: lmao

Preston: Nikki, stop

Nikki: see, Preston is here

Preston: I've been here for a while just watching and laughing at the things you guys are saying

Nikki: wheres the babies

Ered: who?

Neil: Presumably she means the twelve year olds

Nikki: shall I keep spamming them

Nurf: nah, leave them alone

Harrison: OK MOM!

Nurf: ...

Nurf: for fucks sake

Max: that's one parent I'm out to now lmao

Neil: What are you talking about?

Max: read the messages from last night

Space Kid: hello guys what are we talking about

Nikki: coming out

Nikki: got any good stories

Space Kid: not really no sorry

Space Kid: my parents dont really understand the whole not straight thing

Space Kid: my mom thinks it's a phase

Neil: That sucks.

Nerris: That really sucks, I'm sorry

Space Kid: I dont really mind

Space Kid: adults are boring

Nurf: Agreed

Nikki: all of them are all filthy heterosexuals anyway

Nikki: except my mum and Ered's dads

Ered: heck yeah!

Chapter Text

15th November 16:08

Space Kid: hey guys does anyone know how to treat a black eye

Nerris: Oh my gosh what happened

Preston: are you ok

Nikki: TELL ME WHO DID THIS TO ONE OF MY LGBT HOMIES SO I CAN KILL THEM

Space Kid: guys it's not for me

Space Kid: it's for my sister

Neil: You don't have a sister.

Nurf: I'm with Nikki, if someone hurt you, they're in trouble!

Harrison: See, mum is here to help

Nurf: Fuck you Harrison, and SK talk to us!

Space Kid: ok fine it is for me but I dont want to talk about it

Max: you want to put an ice pack on it for a while, untill it's definitely stopped hurting, check how well you can see through it, if its swollen too much or broke the skin then stabilise with some antibacterial wipes or water and soap then put a large plaster or cotton eye patch on overnight, as long as you dont sleep on your face

Max: also who the fuck hurt you and why

Nikki: dang Max

Nikki: didn't know you could type that well

Preston: also well done

Space Kid: thank you Max

Max: it's fine, I've dealt with my share of idiots

Space Kid: it's not a big deal guys

Harrison: If someone punched you, it is

Nerris: Plus we want to know that you're ok

Dolph: I just got my phone back and read these messages. Are you alright Space Kid? I do not want to pry, but I do want to be sure

Space Kid: I'm ok it just hurts a bit

Space Kid: sorry to worry you guys

Ered: its cool little dude, but if your upset or injured then that's not cool

Space Kid: well here's what happened

Space Kid: I was really annoyed with my changing pronouns today, and I felt really female so I was a bit bold and asked people to call me she instead of he

Space Kid: I usually ask for they but nobody listens, not even the teacher. They didn't today either and when I repeated myself to the teacher, some mean boy turned around and called me a freak

Space Kid: I said it was pronounced genderfluid, like Nurf said earlier, and I was already in a bad mood. So when he called me it again i called him this one swear word i know. He punched me in the face five times

Nerris: That's so horrible

Preston: I'm so sorry

Nikki: ok where does this asshole live?!

Nikki: Nurf and Ered and me are gonna beat him up

Space Kid: no I dont want any more attention brought to me

Space Kid: and I dont want my parents to find out

Space Kid: they're not home yet

Nikki: but justice...?

Dolph: Nikki, it is probably best if we respect his wishes

Dolph: Her wishes, I am so sorry

Space Kid: it's fine, you are the first one to call me that properly all day

Space Kid: and I feel more neutral now than female, its changed back

Nurf: OK we'll respect your wishes SK

Space Kid: thank you, Max my vision is kinda blurry through it

Max: best to put a plaster over it then. Your parents are gonna find out anyway

Space Kid: I hope they dont notice

Max: I hope they do, when I got my first black eye my parents either didn't notice or didn't care

Preston: dang that's awful

Neil: Whenever you joked about your parents not caring about you, I genuinely thought you were joking.

Max: I semi exaggerate

Space Kid: so you've been bullied for gender things too

Max: yeah, theres this one asshole at my school who calls me things like dyke and lesbain and other offebsive terms for having short hair and binding and I'm like, what the fuck dude you have it all wrong

Max: some people laugh at me for looking like a guy, which is just a bit weird for me

Ered: that does sound crazy

Nikki: I'm sure you look very masculine, Max

Harrison: Nikki that just sounds weird

Nikki: whoops

Dolph: How is your eye doing Space Kid?

Space Kid: fine I bandaged it up

Space Kid: that sounds so much worse than being punched Max, I'm sorry for you

Max: I'm used to it by now, ans its mainly verbal anyway

Nurf: Theres no real degree of how bad bullying can be. It depends on the victim and their definition of pain

Nikki: that was deep Nurf

Nerris: do you write poetry

Nurf: Only when I'm bored

Nikki: my own worse degree of bullying is just the straight girls locking me in the toilet while they change for PE because they think I'll perv on them

Ered: would you?

Nikki: nah, none of them are hot

Nikki: I have a type

Neil: Gross, can we change topics?

Neil: To literally anything else?

Nikki: Neil, have you ever been bullied?

Nikki: you said anything else

Neil: I'm a ultra-nerd, what do you think?

Nikki: I mean for pride stuff

Neil: Not really, no.

Harrison: He's lying

Ered: how can u tell

Harrison: Just can

Neil: I have, but it's situation specific and the situation is embarrassing.

Harrison: oh my gosh spill!

Preston: yass, spill the tea!

Dolph: We have listened to Space Kid, Max and Nikki's stories, so it is reasonable that we hear yours

Nurf: yeah, logic

Neil: Urgh, fine but I hate each and every one of you.

Max: we know dude, spill

Neil: Okay, so from time to time I cross dress.

Harrison: Like, full make up and stuff?!

Neil: No, just a skirt or something, not like proper drag queens. It's just a stress reliever because all my courses at school are super beyond my age group.

Dolph: I am sorry, what does that term mean?

Nerris: A cismale dressing in female clothing, despite not being transgender or genderfluid. Also works for girls

Dolph: Alright, I understand.

Nikki: ohmygosh send us a photo

Neil: No way!

Neil: You don't even know what I look like out of drag!

Nurf: OK continue the story, this is gonna be good!

Neil: Okay, so I went out to this small town a few miles from the city, because I like to be inconspicuous. I was going by my drag name, Neancy and admittedly, I'd had a few drinks.

Max: lmao Neil's a bad boy

Nurf: You mean Neancy's a bad girl

Neil: Fuck off Nurf, or I'll leave without telling you anything!

Nurf: OK, OK, sorry

Neil: Alright. So I ran into this group of boys that I recognised from school and got nervous, but they started talking to me and I didn't think they recognised me. We talked and they tried to flirt with me but fails because of obvious reasons. Then when I was about to go, one of them asked for a selfie. My stupid drunken brain said yes and long story short when I woke up the next morning the picture was all over facebook.

Ered: Oh my gosh...

Ered: You are an idiot who cant handle his liquor

Neil: I know. I'm cringing just thinking about it.

Nerris: What did you do?

Harrison: Did the photo have a caption, and if so, what did it say?

Neil: Ahem: had a great time last night, and ran into fucking nerdy Neil! Looking beautiful f*****!

Neil: Copied and pasted.

Neil: I censored the f word though, I hate that word.

Nikki: that is so embarrassing

Nikki: did people go on at you for it

Neil: They did, but then one of the teachers got pregnant with a student the next week and the public eye moved on, thank goodness.

Neil: Nobody really remembers it now.

Neil: So, who's next?

Neil: Guys?

Neil: You're all Googling it to see the picture, aren't you?

Neil: Fuck.

Chapter Text

16th November 3:02

Preston: Hey, is anyone up

Preston: Guys!

Preston: Guys and girls and inbetweeners and outsiders!

Preston: Don't leave me hanging please!

Neil: What?

Neil: I was asleep.

Max: Preston ur an asshole, Neil needs this

Preston: :(

Neil: Fuck you Max, I can stand up for myself.

Max: no u cant

Space Kid: hi guys

Space Kid: why are we you all up?

Max: I dont fucking know

Neil: Preston woke us up.

Preston: I had homework to do and bootleg to watch. I drank too much coffee and now I want to chat

Neil: Well, thanks to you I have probably lost an entire forty-two hour's sleep.

Neil: What about you Max?

Max: I was watching some totally not pirated Netflix shows that I cant afford otherwise

Preston: Cool.

Space Kid: if anyone wants to know, in forty minutes I'll be able to see Mars from my bedroom window

Max: oh sorry I forgot you existed

Neil: How did I not hear about this?! I follow so many space themed magazines online!

Neil: Which direction does your window face?

Space Kid: North, you might need a telescope though

Neil: It's okay, I have one. Thank you.

Space Kid: :)

Max: ok so Neil and SK r waiting for the red planet and Preston's high on caffeine so what r we gonna talk about

Preston: our none existent sex lives

Neil: Gross Preston.

Preston: fine, clean sex lives

Max: u mean love lives?

Space Kid: I dont really have one

Neil: I obviously don't have one.

Max: dont look at me, my school is full of assholes

Preston: Come on, someone must have something!

Max: nope

Preston: We should totally set someone up so we can gossip lol!

Neil: I am one-hundred percent down for that. I find human relationships fascinating to observe.

Max: u know what, I bet you do

Space Kid: that sounds like fun

Preston: I'll make a chat for us

Groupchat: The Shippers

Preston created the group

Neil: The Shippers?

Neil: Really Preston?

Preston: What?

Preston: Its basically what we're doing!

Space Kid: ooh hey guys

Max: cut to the chase P, who shall we pair up?

Preston: Hmm, not sure. Neil can probably handle this though.

Neil: Well, based off comparability within the group and sexuities, I'd say possible pairs are Harrison and Nurf, Nikki and Ered, and Preston and Harrison.

Preston: Gross, I am not dating Harrison!

Preston: plus, the whole point of this was to ship other people

Preston: let's make a pact not to ship within the group, ok?

Max: ok

Space Kid: agreed

Neil: Of course.

Max: Neil, explain Nikki and Ered, cos I think that has legs

Space Kid: yes they do talk a lot

Neil: Alright, so they're both openly lesbian and seem to respect each other and admire each other. From what I can deduce, they PM a lot and seem to understand each other. Id say thats pretty good grounds for an romantic relationship. And a two year age gap is pretty small too.

Max: sounds like you put a lot of thought into it

Neil: It's simple science.

Space Kid: Nikki and Ered sound cute together

Preston: I like the idea too. Operation Nikred is ago!

Max: ...

Max: nikred?

Preston: yeah, it's their ship name!

Neil: I am beginning to question your sanity, Preston.

Space Kid: Guys, Mars is so beautiful!

Neil: Fuck, I forgot about that!

Neil: We'll talk tomorrow, everyone delete the messages we left on the main groupchat!

Space Kid: roger that!

Preston: Shippers, role out!

Chapter Text

18th November 4:38

Harrison: Does anyone else live by the south area and keeps getting kept up by all the construction they're doing?

Harrison: Cos I couldn't sleep last night and dropped off in the middle of History class

Ered: mood, I did the same thing yesterday. Up too late catching up on Netflix

Neil: I also live in the South area, but I bought some neat earplugs which did the trick. Additionally, I was up all night, so I listened to some music and tried to ignore it.

Nikki: Neil, do u ever sleep?

Nikki: I'm legit concerned

Neil: You put punctuation on the end of a sentence? Where are you and what have you done with Nikki?

Nikki: Haha but seriously

Neil: I mainly work untill I crash, which is usually early in the morning. I don't have time for that today though. I'll sleep tomorrow.

Max: ok what the actual fuck?

Max: I thought my schedule was messed up

Nerris: I live there too, and the construction's a nightmare. My mum is going to complain

Dolph: Do you all live in the city?

Space Kid: I live on the outskirts North side I think

Max: I live on the crap side

Max: estates, flats and stuff

Nikki: ooh I live there too. At least, in the area with apartment estates

Max: I live where drug dealers hang out

Nikki: maybe I'm not as close by

Nurf: I live near the centre, which is really loud

Preston: I used to live near there before I moved into my grandmas house. Do you have to walk miles to the school like I did?

Nurf: Nah, I go to one in the area

Preston: did they build one?

Preston: I just checked, they didn't

Preston: wait

Preston: wait, Nurf, do you go to the juvenile detention centre?

Nikki: wait, what?

Preston: its the only school in the area

18th November 5:08

Preston: I didnt mean it in a bad way, Nurf

Max: yeah, who cares what school you go to
Nikki: we like u, please dont leave!

Nikki: even Neil likes you

Neil: I would protest, but its true. You have an admirable sense of righteousness.

Max: yeah, if u left, youd miss Neil typing out dictionary words like that

Harrison: we already know you, it would be dumb of us to make assumptions about your behaviour based on a school

Dolph: Yes, and Nikki thought I lived in a jail but still continued our conversation

Nikki: u do, dont you

Dolph: No, I do not

Preston: Yeah, we want you back! We know youre there watching on your phone!

Nurf: Its kind of creepy how you guessed that

Nikki: yay, your back!

Neil: Wrong spelling Nikki.

Nikki: shut up Neil

Nurf: So you guys arent going to stop talking to me?

Dolph: Certainly not!

Harrison: Of course not, we like you!

Nurf: thank you guys

Nurf: Whenever I used to mention where I went to school, kids would straight up leave. I just stopped mentioning it

Max: were all fuckrd up weirdos anyway, were not going anywhere

Preston: precisely!

Harriosn: Youre the groupchat mother, we need you!

Nurf: >:l

Harrison: See, Im not scared to piss you off!

Space Kid: I just arrived but I like you Nurf, glad youre staying!

Nurf: Thanks guys :)

Nikki: just out of interest, what did u do anyway

Max: Nikki, silence!

Nurf: Its ok

Nurf: It was violence mainly, I was always kind of rough when I was little, I swore a lot because I heard the words off my parents and didnt know any better and everyone just avoided me from ayoung age. Kids used to pick on me for being poor so one day I snapped and beat one of them up. I didnt realise how strong I was and he ended up in hospital. I got expelled and my record carried over to the next school. All the kids avoided me and I got into stealing and stuff to help make ends meet. I got caught and because off the violent record I got sent to julie detention.

Nurf: which sucks because theres no normal kids to socialise with

Nikki: whoa

Preston: Im really sorry I brought it up, Nurf!

Nurf: you all deserve to know anyway

Dolph: At least you could stand up for yourself! Perhaps not in the best way, but you were brave to do that!

Max: yeah and standing up to jerks is a great move in my book

Nurf: yeah, if I saw any of you guys being hurt, Id step in at once!

Harrison: groupchat mum is ultra protector!

Neil: I just fell asleep and missed part of the lecture I was supposed to be watching for my homework.

Neil: I hate life and everything in it.

Max: lol same

Nurf: Neil, even if you do a college course, you dont need to do the life of a college student. Itll exhaust you

Neil: Dont be ridiculous. College students go to more parties than I do.

Harrison: Wait, you didnt protest to being the mum

Nurf: Ive given in and decided to role with it

Harrison: DOES THIS MEAN WE CAN CHANGE YOUR NAME?!

Nurf: absolutely not

Harrison: :(

Nikki: while we were talking about where we live, Dolph, is your father leader of the German mafia?

Dolph: No, he is not.

Max: then where do u live

Dolph: Fine. My father is a lieutenant and we live on an army base, the location of which is classified.

Nikki: whoa

Nikki: COOL!

Nikki: what sort of guns do the have, r there tanks, have u ever fired a gun, whats ur dads body count?! So many questions!

Dolph: I do not know, I am not allowed near them, no, no and he has never told me.

Dolph: I doubt I would be permitted to ask.

Neil: Is this classified military base actually the private shooting range, which is located six miles from the city?

Dolph...

Dolph: I am not allowed to say.

Max: dang Neil!

Max: u lay waste to the smart guy battle ground!

Neil: I wish. Theres still that no good show off in my biology class who is determined to show me up!

Neil: I attempted to put a bomb under his chair, but he sniffed it out and removed it.

Nikki: lol Neils a criminal too

Ered: Ive been arrested before

Preston: Ooh, details please!

Ered: I was just on an underage joyride in my dads car. He said I could borrow it, but only within the driveway, so he was kinda mad

Nikki: Ooh, Id love to do that!

Preston: Ered, you should take Nikki out some time

Space Kid: ooh yeah, I bet shed love that

Nikki: ooh yes!

Ered: maybe :) meet me in PM

Groupchat The Shippers

Max: nicely done guys

Space Kid: nikred is ago!

Chapter Text

18th November 16:05

Max: ok, someone actually kill me

Max: I am too done with all this shit to carry on!

Ered: whoa dude!

Ered: Calm down

Nerris: whats wrong Max?

Max: I'll fucking tell you all whats wrong. The people at my school are idiots who all hate me and I hate them. And my parents hate me too! I am so done with everything right now that its not even funny!

Nikki: I bet your parents dont hate you

Max: oh shut up Nikki, just because you and your mum can girl talk and get along doesnt mean everyone elses can!

Nurf: Calm down Max, Nikki didnt mean any harm

Space Kid: oh my gosh are you ok?!

Max: no

Max: why did I even come here

Nikki: because you know that were your friends and that we care about you!

Max: who the fuck would want to be my friend?!

Neil: Me. I enjoy your cynical sense of humour and you seem to actually care about all of us in your own way. Thats friendship quality, Max.

Nikki: aww, Neil cares!

Preston: We all do, Max!

Max: :l

Nerris: I genuinely dont understand that emoji

Max: ...

Max: It means someone made me smile and I dont appreciate it

Space Kid: stop being grumpy and tell us whats wrong. I did it

Space Kid: did someone hurt you?!

Max: not physically

Max: not yet anyway

Nerris: Does this have something to do with our groupchat conversation yesterday

Max: yeah kinda

Harrison: What conversation?

Preston: oh yeah, me, Max, Nerris and Space Kid have a gender non conformity chat, just for us

Preston: guess we never mentioned it before

Neil: What we you discussing?

Nerris: Coming out

Nurf: oh fuck no

Nurf: are you ok

Nerris: I gather it didnt go so great

Max: ok fine, here's what happened

Max: I told my parents that I wanted them to call me Max for short, and when they talked about me (basically never) to call me their son, not daughter. I never said the word transgender because I thought that might be too intense for now

Max: they were kinda ll say whatever the fuck we wany towards it, but my mum did call me Max when she sent me to do chores

Max: I thought it went ok, untill I got to school and found out they had called the motherfucking principal and told him that I was trans and wanted everyone to call me by the right pronouns and name, which btw I dont because sudden name changes are awkward, and he decided to announce it on the loudspeaker in 1st period

Preston: youre joking, right?

Preston: please tell me youre joking

Nerris: this is so awful

Max: my jokes are funny

Max: long story short the entire day was ridicule, taunting, shoving in hallways, some dude tried to grope me before I kicked him in the nuts, people called me my chosen name so sarcastically I wanted to kill them, and to round it all off, when I got home, my dad turned to me with this huge fucking grin on his face and said how was your day Maxine

Max: Ive never been so angry or upset in my entire life

Nikki: oh my gosh, thats awful

Space Kid: so much worse than a black eye

Nerris: attitudes to kids like us are so messed up

Max: I dont want to ever leave my room. I just want to stay in bed forever, like Neil when he finises his homework

Neil: If I was in bed forever, I would still be sleeping!

Preston: You were right, your jokes are funny!

Max: yeah, shame none of the straight kids can see it

Max: from now on, Im their new target, and that just sounds so fucked up

Nerris: I get how you feel, school can be war sometimes

Nerris: every time I go to the female bathroom, I get weird looks and sometimes get told to leave, but half the school knows me as a girl so I cant use the boys. I look kinda masculine, apparently

Nerris: but your situation is way worse, I wish there was some way for me to help you feel better!

Max: knowing your pain actually helps somehow, Im not a sociopath I swear

Nerris: Haha, glad to help!

Nerris: Preston, do you have any stories of bullying?

Preston: actually no

Nurf: wtf how?!

Nikki: tell us your secret!

Preston: I mean, not exactly, just snide remarks and stuff. I actually started going by the female pronoun before I knew what transgender meant, and Ive always been very feminine in terms of looks and behaviour. I just decided one day when I was really little that I liked being a girl more than a boy and started going by that. My school knows me as a girl and always have

Harrison: that is what I call confident

Max: doesnt anyone question your name though?

Nerris: yeah, I always wondered about that. Will you ever change it?

Preston: I dont think so. As Id said, I didnt know transgender was a thing, I just preferred acting out being a female. Whenever someone asked, Id tell them the truth, and tried to explain it as best I could untill someone just told me, girl, theres a name for that.

Ered: lol

Preston: I like my name, even if its supposed to be for a boy

Max: dang, compared to you my life fucking sucks

Max: not that it didnt already

Space Kid: cheer up Max, we like you

Nurf: yeah, and well never disrespect your identity

Max: :)

Max: thanks

Nikki: no problem buddy!

Dolph: I just came online and read all of your messages. That story is so sad, but I am glad you had the bravery to come out to anyone I am proud of you

Max: thanks?

Max: thanks

Neil: Id never really considered coming out as big deal. Does it often go wrong?

Ered: depends who youre coming out to

Dolph: I have been wanting to come out to my father for a long time, but I know he would not accept, so I do not dare

Nikki: that sucks. I hope he can accept you eventually if you ever change your mind

Dolph: Me also

Neil: Is anybody going to answer my question?

Nerris: coming out can majorly effect your relationship with someone, or they might not care. Not knowing if their reaction will be good or bad is really scary

Neil: I would be fairly certain that they wouldnt care, if my dad didnt keep trying to find me girlfriend.

Neil: If he so much as hears about the existence of a female within a two year radius of my age, he always says "She would be perfect for Neil!" and attempts to set up a meeting. Its very depressing.

Space Kid: what about your mum

Neil: I dont see her as often because my parents are separated, but she seems to be low key desperate as well.

Neil: I just want to put them out of their misery.

Dolph: I understand, I shall be a teenager in a few months and apparently thats when my dating life
is supposed to begin

Harrison: oh my gosh, you are so screwed!

Dolph: It is rather funny when I think about it

Nikki: are you gonna try coming out to your parents, Neil?

Neil: Im not sure, I might if it comes up naturally in conversation.

Nikki: quick poll, who here is out

Preston: I think just me, Nerris, Nikki, Ered and now Max

Nurf: Im out to my mum and you guys but nobody else

Space Kid: I tried to be out but no one believed me

Dolph: That is a shame

Harrison: I want to be out, but I know nobody cares enough to consider it a big deal. It wouldnt really change anything with my parents

Nikki: :(

Max: your a mood Harrison

Chapter Text

Groupchat: The shippers 4:59

Preston: hey guys

Preston: how do you think Nikred is going

Max: not sure

Max: I might PM Nikki and ask her if she likes Ered

Neil: Should I do the same, but vice versa?

Max: Neil, u know we love you but you make no sense sometimes

Neil: Should I ask the same to Ered, but the other way around?

Space Kid: yeah that could work

Preston: could be too obvious if Neil does it, because nobody would suspect Neil of caring about peoples love lives

Space Kid: can I do it then

Max: yeah, that could work

Max: at first I didnt care but now I genuinely want to see them together

Space Kid: me too it would be so cute

Preston: Now you guys are in the shipper mood!

5:08

Nikki: hey guys, so Ive been thinking, should we set up a meeting at some point? Because weve been chatting for a while now and I think it would be great to talk to you guys face to face

Ered: Nikki

Ered: thats an awesome idea!

Nikki: :)

Space Kid: that sounds so fun

Harrison: yeah, and we dont even know what each other look like

Harrison: so we can meet each other and find out

Dolph: I am not so sure, I will have to check with my father to see when I am allowed out

Dolph: A trip to the city would be fun though

Space Kid: thats great I hope you can make it!

Neil: Seriously Nikki? I finally find a way to communicate with people without talking face to face and
you want to take that away from me?

Nikki: dont be so grumpy Neil

Nikki: but also yes

Max: cool but are we all prepared to meet each other in person though

Ered: I am

Nikki: me too

Preston: I just got online and I am so down for that!

Nikki: great, now we need to ask Nerris and Nurf

Ered: Nurf is in detention but think he gets home in an hour or so

Harrison: Ill go bug Nerris in the PMs

Nikki: while we wait, Max and Neil, r you in?

Max: fine, whatever

Neil: Thanks to peer pressure, I must also agree.

Nikki: yay

Nerris: yes, Ill come

Harrison: I might have annoyed them at a bad time

Nikki: its cool, so we need to check with Nurf, then we can come

Preston: where should we meet?

Space Kid: city centre?

Ered: nah, too much traffic

Neil: What about a restaurant? It doesnt have to be expensive, just somewhere socialise.

Max: like a bar?

Neil: No, not a bar. None of us can legally drink anyway.

Max: buzzkill

Nikki: I know this great little place near where I go to school. It has a lot of space around midday on a
weekend, and its pretty cheap too

Nikki: heres a link (insert link)

Preston: that looks great!

Max: wow, sides I can afford!

Space Kid: i like the menu design

Dolph: This place is not far to travel. I may be able to ask my father, then take a bus

Nikki: :)

Nurf: cool, so when will we be going

Harrison: how about Saturday, that good for everyone?

Neil: I have a large project due for the following Monday, so I wouldnt be able to come then.

Nikki: what about the Saturday after then?

Max: that works for me

Preston: yeah thats good for me too

Space Kid: yay that sound great

Neil: Thats fine for my schedule.

Ered: lit

Nurf: I can do that

Harrison: sure :)

Dolph: I just asked my father and I can come!

Nerris: just got back online sorry, yeah I can do that

Nikki: yay! See u all there!

Nikki: Neil, u better come in drag

Neil: Haha, you are so funny! Except you're not.

Chapter Text

4:03

Neil: Hey guys, Im thinking of coming out tonight. I know Ive already asked about this, but does anyone have any advice?

Ered: yay u go boi!

Nikki: awesome!

Nerris: Hmm, Id recommend preparing what youre going to say and make sure you can answer any questions your parents might have

Harrison: make it clear that youre not joking

Max: be sure you can trust your parents

Neil: Good advice, thank you.

Nerris: I add, because youre you, try not to get all defensive or aggressive

Neil: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Nerris: exactly. Proved my point

Max: lol

Space Kid: good luck other Neil!

Harrison: yeah, same from me

Nikki: and me!

Nerris: good luck from all of us

Neil: Thank you.

7:15

Neil: I think that went well

Nikki: ooh details!

Nerris: yeah spill!

Max: well done

Neil: Alright, so I got then both sat down on the sofa together, which took a while because they often refuse to be in the same room for more than five minutes. Then I asked them if they knew what asexual and aromatic meant and they said that they didnt, so I explained it. Then at the end I added: and thats what I am. Both of them.

Nikki: what did they say

Neil: Well, my dad went on an immediate rant of confusion and disbelief, saying things like: so were never getting grandkids and I cant believe you didnt tell us sooner and all that. My mum just sat there and waited for him to finish. Then she stood up and said whatever makes you happy. Then they both hugged me and promised to love me no matter what ect

Nikki: awww!

Nikki: thats so cute!

Nerris: in terms of coming out statistics, I think that went pretty well for you

Neil: It was better than I had hoped for.

Max: congrats man

Max: when are you going to tell them about the cross dressing

Neil: ...

Neil: You had to ruin it like that, didnt you?

Max: yep

Neil: I think my mum might already know because I left one of the skirts out with some other clothes, this happened a couple of months ago, and she washed the whole pile for me.

Nikki: your mum seems nice

Neil: I dont know, shes always trying to get me to sleep like a normal person.

Nikki: lol

Nerris: wheres Nurf so your mum can lecture you!

Nurf: >:l

Chapter Text

Max sat himself at the table Nikki had booked for them, a ten-seater tucked away in a corner of the restaurant, it seemed perfect. Except he was the only one here. Max shifted uncomfortably, staring down at his lap. After the news had broken out at his school, he had been the victim of so many pranks, that he had been left with an abundance of trust issues. Had they stood him up, was it all a joke, was anyone else on the chat even real...

"Erm hi?" Another voice cut through his paranoia. Max looked up to see a kid had approached the table, slightly taller than himself, with long brown hair and a nervous smile. "Are you, uh, from the groupchat?"

Max nodded quickly, some of his anxiety settling down. The kid looked relieved too and sat down diagonally opposite him. "So, um, I feel weird asking," He said after a small pause. "But who are you?"

"Oh, I'm Max." Max said quickly, with small smile. The other kid returned it. "This is kind of weird, right?" He added.

"Definitely." The other kid laughed. "Oh, I'm Harrison, by the way. Probably should have started with that."

"Harrison? Didn't think you'd be so awkward." Max said with a smirk. Harrison chuckled.

"Yeah, this is all kind of new for me." Harrison rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "You know, talking to you guys face to face."

"Me too." Max said. "Having friends who are more than words on a screen, I mean."

Harrison burst out laughing, and to his surprise, Max found himself laughing too, his earlier worries beginning to ease in the back of his mind. Maybe everything would turn out alright after all.

"Hey there!" Both boys looked up to see a girl with bushy turquoise hair striding up to them. "Boy this has been way overdue! Argh, I'm so excitied, I'm Nikki, who have we got here?"

"Could have guessed that one." Harrison muttered, and Max laughed.

"I'm Max." He said. "This is Harrison."

"Oh hey guys!" Nikki waved enthusiastically, sitting down opposite Max. "I like your hair, Harrison! Max, you look exactly like I imagined, well, I didn't imagne you as Indian, wait, I can say that can't I?"

Max choked on his drink and managed to give Nikki a nod through coughing.

The three of them chatted for a while about TV and hobbies, avoid topics such as school and parents. Harrison and Nikki treated Max a guy without any questions or awkward glances, something he had never experienced before, but liked. Nikki found herself talking openly about her celebrity crushes and IRL crushes without a twinge of embarrassment. Harrison referenced his sexuality casualy in conversation and it was never questioned. Within a few minutes, the three of them were chatting comfortably without a care in the world.

"And then I told her, you can do your own effing homework, missy, and the look she gave me-" Nikki cut herself off with laughter, then looked up as someone new approached their table. "Hey there! Gay groupchat?"

The kid standing there nodded. "Yeah, uh, hi." They looked pretty nervous, despite being tall and having a large and muscular frame.

Nikki frowned, stroking her chin. "Hmm, tall, strong, ginger, you must be Nurf!"

Nurf smiled and nodded. "Yeah, that's me!" He said, sitting down next to Harrison. "Wait, how did you know I was ginger?"

Nikki shrugged. "Just a hunch." She told him. "I'm Nikki, that's Max and this is Harrison."

They had barely struck up a conversation again when two more kids entered. One was tall with shoulder length auburn hair and the other was shorter with glasses and, to Max's relief, black as well. As comfortable as he was being among white kids, he didn't really want to be the only person of colour there.

"Hello!" The tall kid said enthusiastically. "I'm Preston, this here is Nerris! We met up on the bus on the way here!"

"She talks as much as Nikki!" Nerris muttered, sitting down opposite Nurf.

"Awesome, you're sitting with me!" Nikki said enthusiastically, grabbing Preston by the arm and guiding her to her decided seat.

After a few minutes of casual conversation between them, in which they ordered drinks for themselves, a shorter kid with fluffy brown hair and an oversized blue fleece bearing the NASA logo turned up and immediately sat down opposite Preston. They smiled brightly at the group.

"Hey guys, it's me, Neil, well, you guys call me Space Kid." They waved excitedly. "Do you want to call me that now?"

Nikki waved excitedly back. "Sure, we can call you Space Kid. Ooh, or how about SK?"

"I think like that!" Space Kid grinned broadly. They immediately began chatting to anyone and everyone, while Nikki rested her chin on hand, glancing around the table.

"Oh man, I wonder where Ered is!" She sighed. "I wanna see my lesbian homegirl!"

"You know what I want to see?" Max said. "I want to see Neil come as Neancy!"

The group laughed.

"We did dare him to!" Harrison chuckled.

"And I said that I wouldn't." Came a voice. Neil had appeared, wearing boy's clothes, much to everyone's disappointment.

"Hey man." Max waved at him. "Didn't oversleep then?"

"Oh, I did Max, but my backup alarm is still surprisingly intact, no matter how many duds I throw at it." Neil said as he sat down next to Max.

Max laughed. "You talk you type."

"So do you. How do you think I recognised you so quickly?" Neil shot him a smug grin. "Where's the menu, I need a coffee as black as my soul."

"A nerd after my own heart." Max remarked, grinning.

"Hey guys." Another kid had walked up to their table, tall with purple highlights in their hair. Max probably would have guessed Ered even before Nikki shot out of her seat and ran to hug her.

"Yes, you made it!" She squealed. Max, Neil, Preston and Space Kid all shared a look.

"Hey, I can go sit over by Nurf if you guys want to sit together." Preston said to the pair, standing up. As she passed by Max, they shared a sneaky high five. Ered and Nikki immediately struck up a conversation about cars, leaving the rest of the table without their social catalyst.

"I wonder where Dolph is." Nerris said after they had all received their drinks and ordered their food.

Neil shrugged. "Maybe he couldn't get away. His, um, living conditions sound strict."

"I hope he's coming." Space Kid remarked. "I'd be pretty upset if I missed this. And we might be his only friends."

Max nodded in agreement, after all, these nine other kids were his only friends. It was a depressing thought, but comforting at the same time.

"Yeah, we all need this. It's probably the only time Neil's going to leave his house this week." He joked. Everyone else laughed.

"Hey, I went to the local tech store yesterday to pick up some new parts!" Neil protested.

"What for, a robot clone?" Asked Harrison.

"No, just for a project I'm working on." Already, his eyes were alight with excited nerdiness. "You see, there's this robotics course I found online-"

"Neil, I'm going to stop you right there," Harrison held up a hand. "If you take another college course, I am ratting you out to Nurf!"

They all glanced towards Nurf, who was talking enthusiastically to Preston. Neil sighed and turned away.

"Sleep is for the weak, but fine, maybe I'll leave that one on the backburner for now. Perhaps I can go with the robot clone instead."

"Robot clone?" A voice with a thick German accent cut in. "What did I miss?"

Dolph had arrived, panting slightly. "I took a public bus." He explained. "It was obviously a mistake."

"I get what you mean." Space Kid said, gesturing to the last empty chair, which was next to himself. "Traffic can get super slow around here. But don't worry, you can share some of my food."

Dolph smiled at him. "Danke, uh, thank you. I like your jacket." He said.

Max began chatting with Neil and Harrison, mainly about pride stuff.

"I mean, I've had a mild crush once." Neil confessed as he ate his sandwich. "This girl in middle school, Erin, but even then I knew I wasn't cut out for dating her, I just kinda liked the idea of someone else in the school who had a shred of scientific knowledge. Oh, and her hair was alright."

Harrison burst out laughing suddenly.

"I get it man" he laughed. "I mean, I've been told my hair is pretty attractive." He flipped his hair over his shoulder, making Max choke on his drink. Neil gave an embarrassed sigh.

"Moving on, have you dated many people Harrison?" He asked.

Harrison shrugged. "A couple here and there. Never lasted long. I mainly just crush on people. Like right now I can't focus in science class because there's this adorable blonde two seats in front of me." He grinned sheepishly, a small tinge of blush appearing on his face.

"You know what I never understand about blonde people?" Max said. "Why it's the default attractive quality for girls. Like, I get it, your hair's the colour of dog piss, now get your selfies out of my face."

"Actually, he's a guy. I think, I haven't asked."

"I'm just saying, back where my parents are from, they did things much smarter." Max remarked, taking a bite of his sandwich, then frowning. "What the fuck is in this?"

"Like arranged marriages?" Neil asked. "Wait, you're Indian, right?"

Max nodded. "Well, I don't think those are the norm anymore, but I suppose so." He shrugged. "But at the rate I'm going, I'll be the death of the Sharma family line."

Neil chuckled and Max took an opportunity to look around the table. Everyone was excitedly chatting, Nerris was shaking with laughter over something Preston had told them, Dolph was trying some of Space Kid's food and shuddered slightly at the taste while Space Kid tried to imitate his accent, Harrison was texting someone and smiling, Nurf was reading over his shoulder, and raising an eyebrow. Nikki was showing Ered something on her phone, their heads very close together. Already, Neil had drained his coffee and was poking at his food with a frown, muttering about bacteria. They were a bunch of social outcasts and weirdos, that was for sure.

But it sure felt nice to have friends.

Chapter Text

19:44

Harrison: urgh, Nikki!

Harrison: your dumb restaurant gave me food poisoning!

Nurf: me too!

Nurf: I can barely keep anything down!

Max: gross dude

Nikki: argh, sorry, Ive been there so many times I guess I'm immune

Nurf: it's ok, it was worth it to meet you all

Nurf: uh oh, gotta vomit again

Max: keep it to yourself, I'm trying to eat here!

...

The Shippers 1:56

Max: guys

Max: Nikki totally likes Ered!

Max: I asked her at the dinner thing and she tried to deny it but I could tell

Preston: good work Max!

Preston: SK did u ask Ered

Preston: SK!

Max: I dont think hes here

Max: she, they, whatever

Preston: dang it SK, u had one job!

Max: XD

Preston: I really hope Ered likes her back

Preston: unrequited love is so tragic!

Max: wtf

Max: you sound like a romance drama

Preston: If only I was!

Preston: that would be ideal!

Preston: It's legit all i ever wanted out of life!

Max: wow u are sad!

Preston: well, that and a literary career i can be proud of and a flashy apartment to call my own

Max: acceptable

Preston: and a dog. Man I want a dog!

Max: ...

Max: I can't argue with you, dogs are fucking adorable!

Max: did u see the youtube video of the spaniel eating watermelon?!

Preston: I screenshotted it and it's now my wallpaper

Max: that's lit

Max: I wonder where the other guys are, they're about to miss the dog memes i wanna send

Preston: plz send dog memes!

Preston: SK, Neil, u guys don't want to miss this!

Max: it is the middle of the night

Preston: but the shippers do their best work at night!

Max: lol

Max: school tomorrow, right?

Preston: I feel a head cold coming on, I might stay home

Max: lucky

Max: my parents want me out of the house. One of their business contacts is coming over

Max: and by business contacts I mean suppliers

Preston: your parents do drugs?

Max: nah they sell them on

Max: its a side job

Preston: dang your home life is wild

Max: fucked up more like

Max: i cant sleep, so I'm gonna be 100% dead at school tomorrow

Max: fucking why?

Preston: if you want, you could come to my place

Preston: we could hang out instead of school

Max: what do you mean by hang out?

Max: because i dont like musicals

Preston: Thats not all I do! My little bro has some video games

Preston: he even saved up for a VR which I could borrow

Max: sounds bearable

Preston: and my neighbour has a shiba inu that I'm allowed to walk

Max: sounds fun :) thanks

Max: where do u live

Preston: insert link

Preston: Google maps is lit

Max: ok cool

Max: see u tomorrow

Preston: where do u think ur going?

Preston: I wanna see the memes!

Chapter Text

The Shippers

Space Kid: sorry I havent been online in a few days but I just asked Ered if she likes Nikki!

Preston: do tell

Max: yeah, spill!

Space Kid: ok well she said she might have a crush on her, but she hasnt really thought about it yet and she isnt sure she wants such a big age gap in a relationship

Space Kid: I think thats good

Preston: not a definite but Ered can realise her feelings in time

Max: she'd fucking better, I'm too invested to see this fall through!

Preston: Yes! I turned Max into a shipper

Max: no

Max: I just,

Max: well shit

Max: messing with peoples love lives is fun, OK!

Preston: Yep, ur a shipper now!

Neil: That sounds pretty messed up, Max.

Preston: where tf have u been

Neil: Take a guess.

Preston: homework

Max: sleeping

Space Kid: out with friends?

Neil: Ah Space Kid, your relentless optimism makes me laugh.

Space Kid: yay! :D

Max: ok so what are we gonna do about Ered

Neil: Is there anything we can do?

Preston: perhaps

Preston: we could be able to get her and Nikki to hang out more

Preston: IRL

Max: dont they already?

Space Kid: actually no, Ered told me the 1st time they met in person was at the lunch

Space Kid: they video chat though

Space Kid: and PM every day

Neil: Perhaps we should invite them both on a social outing?

Space Kid: yeah, we could go lazer questing!

Neil: Absolutely not. Something about Nikki tells me shed take that a little too seriously.

Max: True

Neil: Also, I look ridiculous when I run.

Preston: bowling then?

Preston: nobody gets hurt in bowling

Preston: unless you yeet the ball too hard

Preston: or yeet it backwards

Max: I have a mental image of that now and I can't unsee it

Space Kid: ooh Ive never been bowling

Space Kid: my dad does it with his friends though, looks like fun!

Neil: I could stomach bowling.

Neil: Max?

Max: Aah, Im grounded for a couple of weeks, so not any time soon sorry

Space Kid: oh no!

Neil: Did you just apologise?!

Preston: is it for skipping school on Monday

Max: probably

Max: its ok anyway. The more people you invite, it looks suspicious the number you leave out

Preston: alright then. Next Saturday good for you guys?

Space Kid: yass!

Neil: All good here! For now at least.

Preston: ok Ill ask the lovebirds!

Neil: I'm serious Max, did you just apologise to someone?

Max: fuck off Neil

Space Kid: do I sense another ship?

Max: you don't. And we agreed not to ship in the group, ok?

Neil: Those dog memes are almost as adorable as this conversation.

Space Kid: where?! I love puppies!

Neil: Scroll up.

Space Kid: awww that's adorable!

Space Kid: and now I definitely ship it

Max: I WILL COME TO BOWLING AN YEET A BALL INTO YOUR FACE!

Space Kid: !!!!

Preston: they both said yes, see u guys then!

Neil: Preston wait! Read the conversation, I want to see your opinion on this!

Space Kid: nah shes gone

Space Kid: so's Max

Chapter Text

Nerris: urgh, I am so done with today

Preston: whoa, are you ok?

Preston: you're usually more cheerful

Nikki: yeah, what's wrong?

Nerris: sorry guys, I'm just not having a good day today

Max: dysphoria?

Nerris: yep

Nerris: do you mind if I vent?

Preston: vent away, my friend

Nerris: I can't be the girl that they all expect when they see me, I know I can't stand just pretending to be who everyone all school expects, but I also can't be normal and be a boy either. Being stuck in the middle really sucks because I feel like no one gets how I feel. I can't be normal and I can't satisfy my parents with my abnormal weirdness. I fucking hate it

Nerris: sorry for complaining

Max: don't fucking apologise

Max: we all feel the same

Nikki: wait, I thought u were out to your parents

Nikki: why r u upset

Preston: gender dysphoria doesn't work like that Nikki

Preston: you can be out to the whole world but still hate the fact that you were born that way, that you don't quite fit in with the other girls. Or guys. Or even anyone.

Max: yeah, that's pretty much it

Nikki: dang, I had no idea

Nikki: I feel really bad for you guys

Nerris: I feel bad for us too

Nerris: I just wanna stay here in my bed for the rest of my life

Max: been there

Max: being born in the wrong body made me hate myself, then my parents, then my parents for hating me

Space Kid: oh is dysphoria that feeling when you get all angry and sad because you don't feel right about your body?

Preston: Yeah, that's pretty much it

Space Kid: I get that all the time then

Space Kid: I was so upset and mad last night that I couldn't sleep and fell asleep in class today

Nikki: argh, my heart goes out for you guys! :(

Nerris: thanks Nikki

Nerris: this kinda helps

Nurf: Glad you guys are OK

Nurf: well, you know

Max: I'll be fine, as soon as I can get my hands on some testosterone

Nerris: Me and SK will just sit here

Space Kid: I guess, I don't really know what that is though

Max: Sweet, naïve SK

Max: I never tire of your whimsy

Nurf: If it helps, I'm kind of a pansexual disaster right now

Space Kid: ooh details!

Nikki: SK has truly taken my lessons to heart!

Nurf: Alright, so I started this new youth centre thing, for 'kids in danger', basically teen convicts. I walked into the room and pretty much everyone there is hot

Nurf: Like... everyone

Nikki: ohmygosh

Nurf: #pains of being pans

Nurf: I couldn't even focus on anything they were saying, just staring at everyone else

Max: I'm dying :D

Nikki: lmao

Nerris: that certainly helps, it put a smile on my face

Harrison: anyone in particular?

Max: where did u come from

Harrison: was doing homework but u guys distracted me

Nurf: couple of girls I spoke to seemed interested, but most of the guys are probably straight homophobes

Nikki: boo

Nikki: the world needs more gay criminals

Space Kid: Nurf isn't criminal

Nurf: well whatever happens I now have something to look forward to every week

Nikki: we can be gay criminals though! Let's all go commit crime and the world will know our names!

Max: or, you know, not, so we don't get arrested immediately

Nerris: haha

Space Kid: yay your happy again

Nerris: yeah, these things never really go away, but thanks for cheering me up you guys

Nikki: no problem :)

Preston: it can be tricky to take pride in who you are when who you are causes you endless emotional pain, but having others to relate to makes it bearable

Nerris: yeah :)

Harrison: wow Preston...

Harrison: that's deep

Preston: ;)

Preston: I am a writer

Space Kid: ooh do u write fanfics?

Preston: well, usually I write plays, but I write non canonical sequels to pre-existing plays, so yeah, I guess I do

Space Kid: cool when I feel down about myself I read fanfics to cheer up

Preston: I'll send you some screenshots of my latest work!

Nurf: Wow, I never would have suspected SK of all people to read fanfics

Space Kid: I avoid anything over a k+ rating

Space Kid: everything else is gross or distressing

Chapter Text

9:56

Nikki: hey guys

Nikki: we havent seen Dolph in a while, have we?

Nurf: oh yeah!

Nurf: I totally forgot, that sounds so bad

Nikki: Dolph?

Nikki: wheres my homosexual homeboy?

Harrison: dont say it like that, Nikki

Harrison: weird he hasnt been here though

Nikki: according to the icons, he hasnt been reading Harrison and Nurf were complaining about food poisoning

Harrison: that was ages ago

Nikki: IK right

Nurf: I just PMed him but I dont think hes gonna reply

Nikki: Shame, he was cool

Nikki: I asked him about a drawing he did on a napkin when we were all at the lunch, and he offered to draw me

Nurf: I know, hes crazy good

Preston: he sent me a link to his deviant art

Preston: sent link

Nikki: wtf wow

Nikki: that is so impressive

Harrison: ok guys, I think weve established that his icon isnt frozen and hes not reading this

Nikki: shame

Preston: yeah, I hope he comes back online soon

Nurf: whats new with everyone

Harrison: I got a bf :)

Nikki: ooh!

Nurf: details!

Nikki: everyone's catching on!

Preston: yep, the groupchat mum wants to see if hes suitable!

Nurf: >:l

Harrison: lol

Harrison: hes the blonde dude I mentioned to Max and Neil at the lunch. Hes called Ray and hes super gorgeous!

Nikki: awww!

Nurf: how did u begin dating?

Harrison: well, hes in my science class and a bit of a loner, so when we had to do some group work, I asked to work with him. We just got chatting about how science is dumb and then we just began hanging out. Hes pans

Preston: aww Im so happy for you!

Nikki: me too!

Nurf: yeah he sounds cool

Harrison: :)

Nikki: should we add him to the chat

Harrison: nah he doesnt have social media

Harrison: And you guys would freak him out

Nikki: we are very freaky :)

Preston: and Nikkis the freakiest of all!

Nikki: touche Preston!

13:56

Dolph: Hello.

Dolph: I managed to smuggle my phone back for a few hours.

Nikki: gasp, I knew talking about him would summon him!

Nurf: what do you mean smuggle

Harrison: yeah, and where have u been?!

Dolph: It is a long story, but I have been punished.

Dolph: That does not sound right.

Nurf: do you mean grounded

Dolph: Yes, that. I have not been able to have my phone for a long time

Harrison: yikes

Dolph: I have only just found it in my fathers desk. The amount of twitter notifications I have is astounding

Nerris: I was just woken up, welcome back Dolph!

Nikki: yeah same

Space Kid: hello :)

Dolph: Hello

Dolph: I have just scrolled up and read your conversation. Harrison has a boyfriend, I'm jealous!

Harrison: thanks buddy XD

Nikki: why were u grounded then?

Dolph: My father discovered my deviant art.

Nikki: tf? Theres nothing bad on there

Nikki: its not porn

Nurf: Nikki no!

Nikki: I just said it wasnt!

Nikki: also Nikki yes

Dolph: I know, but my father still does not like my art. He does not like art in general, and definitely not when I do it

Harrison: man that fucking sucks!

Nikki: art is awesome! Especially your art!

Dolph: Thank you :)

Space Kid: so when do you get your phone back

Dolph: I do not know, perhaps next Monday

Nikki: but thats AGES away!

Dolph: Perhaps never

Space Kid: thats even more ages away!

Dolph: I am just glad he did not find this chat!

Dolph: That would be awkward.

Nerris: Are you sure he doesnt know about the chat?

Dolph: Fairly sure, yes

Space Kid: thats good, I dont want you to leave

Dolph: I do not want to leave either. I like you guys

Harrison: can we get an awww!

Nikki: awwww!

Harrison: knew youd hook me up :)

Dolph: I better go, I do not want to get caught

Space Kid: aww no

Nerris: talk soon

Dolph: As soon as I am able, yes

Nikki: bye!

Nikki: I miss u already!

Max: what r u all talking about, Im trying to sleep

Chapter Text

Nerris: i swear to Mara if my english teacher misgenders me one more time I'm gonna kill her

Harrison: oof

Harrison: thats heavy

Nikki: no u cant kill her i want to kill her!

Nurf: also what's Mara?

Nerris: thats a She-Ra reference. I was casually checking how cultured you all are XD

Dolph: Oh i love that show!

Dolph: it is very gay

Nerris: thats part of why I love it so much!

Dolph: also the pretty colours are so inspiring to an artist!

Nikki: fuck yes I love me some she ra

Nurf: I'm still confused, whats Mara?

Nikki: basically

Nikki: me and Ered are friends of Mara

Nurf: ?

Nikki: we're lesbians basically

Nurf: oh ok

Harrison: what was it about being misgendered Nerris?

Nerris: oh that

Nerris: basically I have a new english teach who's teaching us about feminism in lit, ect

Nerris: and whenever she talked about what women went through she always addressed the class as 'we'

Nerris: as in we as women

Nerris: I just had to sit there and feel angry

Nurf: that sucks I'm sorry

Dolph: Oh no, are you alright? I have never been misgendered but it sounds horrible

Nikki: i get misgendered as a guy sometimes but that's not relevant

Nikki: fuck your teacher

Nerris: yeah she's annoying

Nerris: i dont know if she thought i was a girl, or thought i was a guy and was just excluding me (the rest of the class is all girls)

Nerris: i don't know which is worse

Nurf: screw what she thinks, you're valid af

Dolph: Yes, what he said

Nikki: Dolphy I just realised that your back

Nikki: also Nurf is right

Dolph: Yes, I am no longer grounded!

Nikki: woohoo

Harrison: yay

Harrison: i also say youre valid Nerris

Harrison: sorry if it's late, I'm double texting with Ray

Nurf: ah young love

Nerris: its fine. What r u guys talking about

Harrison: you know, stuff

Nurf: Harrison, there's kids on this chat!

Harrison: oh my god Nurf we're talking about quality streets

Nikki: sjsbsxiddh

Nurf: just checking!

Nurf: DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT!

Harrison: ...

Harrison: ok mum

Nurf: fuck you Harrison!

Nikki: Nurf, that's Ray's job

Nurf: sjwdjsdndkd NO!

Harrison: XD

Nerris: I'm crying you guys are hilarious

Dolph: Is it sad crying, or happy crying?

Nerris: happy crying

Nerris: you lot always make me feel better

Nikki: :)

Nikki: this storm huh guys?

Nerris: Oh yeah, its super wild!

Nerris: I love lightning!

Nikki: its so loud my mum went to bed with a headache

Nerris: i wanna go out onto the roof and enjoy it properly

Nikki: sounds awesome!

Nurf: That does sound like fun, but if its raining as bad where u are as it is here then youll probably slip and break your neck

Nerris: true

Nerris: then I wouldn't be able to get mad at people for misgendering me

Nerris: maybe Ill just go outside then

Nikki: wait...

Nikki: me, you, Nurf and the two Neils...

Nikki: half this chat is N names!

Nerris: oh yeah!

Nurf: seriously? I figured this out the moment we all started introducing ourselves

Nikki: lol

Nikki: we should get the rest of the N squad on here

Nurf: nah they might be busy

Nikki: youre so considerate

Nerris: guys my power just went out

Nurf: oh snap

Nikki: is your wifi ok?

Nerris: Im on 4G

Ered: Sup guys, I'm storm chasing!

Nerris: isn't that just for tornadoes

Ered: I dunno but its uber fun!

Nikki: hey Ered!

Ered: Hey Nikki

Neil: That sounds incredibly dangerous.

Ered: oh it is

Nurf: when did you get here?

Ered: Ive almost crashed my dads car twice!

Neil: I just picked up my phone. Ered's dangerous behaviour summoned me.

Ered: lol

Nerris: maybe you shouldn't type and drive

Ered: Im parked now

Ered: in the heat of it. I think Im kinda near where Max lives

Ered: Ive already been offered drugs twice!

Nikki: hey I live kinda near there

Ered: u wanna come join

Nikki: fuck yeah!

Ered: Ill PM you my location

Nurf: and there they go

Nurf: theyre gonna get themselves hurt

Nerris: my mum and dad are home now, i gotta go explain the storm situation

Nurf: ok bye

Nurf: this is lonely

Harrison: I'm still here. Kinda

Preston: I've been reading the conversation the whole time XD

Nurf: wtf you are so weird

Preston: I know, right

The Shippers

Preston: Nikred is in a joyride in a storm guys. Talk about romance!

Chapter Text

Nikki: I am so fucking hung over

Harrison: lol

Harrison: thats why I dont drink

Neil: Neither do I.

Nikki: I dont usually but me and Ered were hanging out last night

Neil: I heard. What did you do?

Nikki: just drove around in a storm then got bored so broke out the beer to liven things up

Nerris: you should get some rest Nikki

Nerris: drink some water

Max: I just read though the messages, lol u guys r crazy

Max: the signal was really bad last night for me and the power was out too

Nerris: shame

Space Kid: hey guys!

Space Kid: some storm last night huh

Nerris: I loved it

Space Kid: I got distracted by counting the distance between lightning and thunder sounds

Space Kid: seconds, not distance

Max: I did that too, there werent many

Nerris: that means the storm was close, right?

Space Kid: yeah, not more than a mile away

Dolph: We received the full front of it, and my father is extra grumpy because of it

Dolph: A lot of important equipment got ruined

Dolph: Did I use 'full front' correctly?

Space Kid: yeah buddy!

Space Kid: I think, ive never heard it used before

Nerris: yeah, you did

Dolph: oh thank you. I just read it in a book once

Nikki: ooh, what sort of stuff got wrecked?

Nikki: or r u not allowed to tell us?

Dolph: I am not allowed

Dolph: But I will tell you anyway because I am mad at my father

Max: yeah boi

Max: fuck parents

Nerris: what did your dad do now?

Dolph: You know, the usual

Dolph: An advertisement with two males acting as parents came on TV and he just would not shut up about it. He's sworn off ever buying that product again.

Max: ouch that sucks man

Dolph: I am honestly surprised I managed to figure out and accept that I like boys so soon

Nerris: good on u for getting there though

Space Kid: yeah, youre amazing!

Dolph: :D

Nikki: speaking of liking people, I totally like my new girlfriend :)

Harrison: fruhwrpfhepwourj[ofrwe

Harrison: DETAILS NOW!

Space Kid: I was gonna say that!

Groupchat: The Shippers

Max: Neil, Preston, get online NOW

Max: because Nikki's next words decide if she lives or dies

Groupchat: Main

Preston: OH MY GOD NIKKI SPILL!

Nikki: hehe I'll never talk XD

Nikki: ok fine it's Ered

Ered: sup y'all?

Ered: that's right, I was waiting to make my grand entrance :)

Preston: OH MY GOD YASSS!!!!

Preston: I am so pumped for you both!

Space Kid: me too!!!!! :D :D

Max: thats lit, u guys go really well together

Nikki: aww thanks

Ered: yeah, u guys seem really excited lol

Harrison: I'm excited too, you guys are so cute together and tbh I've shipped this for a long time XD

Preston: for shame Harrison, shipping your friends without their knowledge?!

Groupchat: The shippers

Preston: lol XD we should have included Harrison

Max: goddam it I'm DYING :D

Space Kid: Mission Accomplished, Guys!

Space Kid: eeeeeeee :D I'm real excited over this!

Groupchat: Main

Nikki: lol that's fine, we've just got such great chemistry

Ered: that's right babe

Preston: heart eyes y'all. Literal heart eyes.

Dolph: Sorry for my late reply, I am incredibly happy for you both

Dolph: I assume you got together last night

Harrison: with the booze...

Harrison: oh my god

Ered: Get your mind out of the gutter Harrison

Harrison: thats actually not what I was thinking about

Harrison: Get YOUR mind out of the gutter Ered!

Ered: lol

Ered: basically what happened was

Ered: I picked up Nikki and we drove around for a couple of hrs, jammin out to mixtapes and shit

Ered: we were chasing the storm but then it died out and we got bored

Ered: so we parked, grabbed some booze (aquired totally legally) and just chilled

Ered: then shit happened

Nikki: i wanna pretend that it was romantic and cute but it totally wasn't lol

Ered: nah babe, i think it was cute

Nikki: awww

Nikki: heart eyes

Ered: ;)

Harrison: save the flirting for the dm's people!

Ered: that's lesbainphobia Harrison

Harrison: it's not

Harrison: I'm just gonna shut up now

Ered: nah man I'm kidding. Come back

Nikki: I keep thinking, that's my gf, inside my head and freaking out internally!

Nikki: I'm just so pumped!!! :D

Dolph: Aww, you two are adorable together!

Chapter Text

Max: I'm totally not having a panic attack rn (please send help)

Dolph: I wish I could, but I am experiencing a similar problem

Max: oh no, r you okay

Max: is it to do wit oh ur dad?

Dolph: No it is not an emotional problem (is that the right phrasing?)

Dolph: Everything is just so loud right now and it hurts

Max: ?

Dolph: I have sensory issues related to autism

Dolph: I believe I am autistic

Max: oh ok

Max: let me Google how 2 help wit a sensory overload

Dolph: it is not that serious

Dolph: more like a sensory panic

Nurf: Do you have any headphones or heavy stuff that might help?

Nurf: my little cousin is autistic and she has a really heavy blanket

Nurf: also max are u okay?

Max: sorta, I'm just hiding in the bathroom until I srop hyperventilating

Max: I just remembered that this is the girl's bathroom I'm in, oof there goes my dysphoria

Nurf: :(

Dolph: I do not have anything on me, I just have my hood up to try and block things out

Dolph: I'm in a remote corner of the base, trying to hide.

Dolph: Everyone is doing very loud and chaotic training things and I wish it would stop

Nurf: :( :(

Nurf: I wish I could help u guys

Max: dont feel bad, I'm fine

Max: kinda

Max: nope not fine

Ered: dude breathe

Ered: slowly, in out

Ered: Dolph find something to chew on. Try to block out noise as much as you can and just focus on one thing ok?

Dolph: Okay

Nurf: oh yeah, Max time your breaths

Ered: in for 4, out for 8

Max: k

Nurf: what she said

Nurf: how do u know all this?

Ered: my dads made me take a mental health course

Ered: it was pretty cool actually

Dolph: I think I am calming down

Nurf: that's great

Dolph: yes, I discovered some old earphones in my pocket so I am using those to focus on music. And I am chewing on them too. I did not think to do that

Ered: that's good, just try not to have it too loud

Dolph: okay Ered. Thank you for the advice

Nurf: seriously

Nurf: I'm the 'ok mum' and she's not?

Ered: exactly, I'm too cool to be tied down by a bunch of kids

Ered: I'm the cool auntie

Dolph: Haha

Max: ok I think I'm done breathing

Max: it's less scary now

Ered: u ok?

Max: think so yeah

Max: thnx

Ered: no

Ered: np

Ered: dang autocorrect

Max: u doing ok Dolph?

Dolph: yes I'm not panicking anymore. It is still very loud but I am focusing on it less

Dolph: sorry if you two were busy

Ered: never apologise for having friends

Nurf: aww

Max: or being autistic. It's just part of life for some people

Max: like how I was born shoved in the wrong fucking body

Dolph: I do not think I am autistic, just have autistic symptoms

Dolph: at least the one doctor I asked about it was certain that I am not

Ered: if you regularly have sensory problems it's worth looking into

Dolph: Do you think?

Dolph: The doctor said I am not because I don't have any interest in tech stuff and I don't understand maths. I am nothing like the autistic people you see on TV

Ered: he sounds like a shitty doctor

Nurf: yeah, my little cousin isnt interested in that, and she's autistic

Nurf: she collects bugs and can tell you every detail about Thomas the tank engine instead

Max: she sounds fun

Ered: yeah, you don't have to like stem to be autistic

Dolph: stem?

Dolph: oh yes, STEM

Dolph: Thank you I will think about this

Nurf: no problem :)

Nurf: Max, what were you upset about? Are you okay?

Max: yeah

Max: just the usual nobody at school or at home likes me and I hate myself shtick

Max: I'm fine now

Ered: u dont sound fine dude

Ered: anything we can do to help?

Max: idk

Max: can I get some pronoun love maybe?

Nurf: certainly!

Dolph: What is that?

Nurf: he wants us to refer to him with his preferred pronouns because he is a boy and wants people to treat him like it

Dolph: oh okay!

Dolph: this is Max, he's a boy and he is one of my friends

Ered: yeah, people shouldn't diss Max. He's the coolest

Max: heh heh thanks

Max: basically I tried to go into the boys bathroom and a teacher fucking yelled at me and told me to go "back to where the girls belong". I'd already been misgendered by a new kid right away which means I'm not passing like I hoped and I just couldn't.

Max: That's what happened.

Ered: :( so sorry dude. For what it's worth I think you pass

Dolph: yes, you look more masculine than I

Max: XD you'll get there

Max: thanks tho

Chapter Text

Groupchat: The Shippers

Preston: Sooooo

Preston: Nikred happened

Preston: what's our next conquest??

Space Kid: idk

Space Kid: Maxpres?

Preston: I swear to god

Space Kid: sorry

Preston: seriously i need something new to ship, i've exhausted my fanfic collection, and experiancing a writing burnout

Preston: ugh

Preston: WHY SATAN WHY MUST YOU DO ME LIKE THIS!!!!

Max: lmao

Space Kid: hi max :D

Preston: hey so who are we thinkinbg of shipping??

Max: I dunno

Neil: Guys, maybe we shouldn't ship our friends anymore. Nikki and Ered have legitimate chemistry, but they could have gotten together without us, and honestly I don't want this going furhter than it has already

Space Kid: oh okay

Space Kid: i didnt realise it was a bad thing...

Preston: jeez neil, what r you playing high and mighty for?

Max: yeah, u had a part in this too, remember?

Max: we can take you down with us!!!

Max: also where tf have u been

Neil: that's none of your goddam business Max

Neil: shut up

Neil: can't a man be sick of romance for once in his life with nobody jumping down his throat?!

Max: r u okay? you're missing capitol letters. u never do that

Preston: who fuckin cares, if u don't want to be part of our group anymore, fine, but don't attack us for it! Shipping is really important to me

Neil: FOR FUCKS SAKE PRESTON, NOT EVERYHTING REVOLVES AROUND YOU AND YOUR STUPID SHIPS! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

Max: whoa, are you okay

Neil: NO

Neil: but who the fuck cares anyway

Neil: just fuck off and let me wallow in peace

Preston: now who's being dramatic?

Max: not helping Preston

Preston: You're right, I'm sorry

Space Kid: oh no, I'm sorry you're sad, u wanna talk about it??

Neil: not with the likes of you

Space Kid: :(

Max: dude i know your probably going thru some stuff but u dont need to lash out at sk

Max: they're just trying to help because they care

Space Kid: yeah I care <3

Space Kid: it's 'he' right now though

Max: gotcha

Max: Neil, we do care and we just want to help, as dumb and weird as it sounds

Neil: oh god just leave me alone

Neil: nothing will make stuff better anyways

Max: okay yeah we need to take this to the higher council

Space Kid: i dont know what you mean but if it will help then okay

Groupchat: Main

Max: posted screenshots

Max: guys Neil needs help

Neil: OH FUCK OFF MAX

Nerris: uh oh

Harrison: whoa dude, are you okay?

Space Kid: <3

Nurf: someone call Nikki

Ered: on it, Neil we love and care about u okay??

Neil: *groan*

Nikki: OMG IM HERE AND I AM HERE TO SUPPORT AND PUNCH YOUR PROBLEMS AWAY

Max: what she said

Neil: Guys, I'm fine

Neil: I'm just stressed and overreacting

Neil: Sorry I lashed out but can you leave me alone please

Ered: sorry to contradict, but you don't sound fucking fine

Nurf: if its bothering you, then it's likely that you're not overreacting, just trying to cover up the true roots of your distress

Neil: you're right

Neil: Fine, I know you guys won't leave me alone anyway

Neil: My life just fucking sucks sometimes. I'm constantly stressed, constantly tired and I should be able to deal with it but you know what? I can't.

Neil: I love being smarter than everyone else but keeping up with it is exhausting

Nurf: that's okay

Nurf: you don't have to be the smartest all the time

Nerris: You don't have to prove your intelligance, your worth has already been proven to us, and I'm sure many others, in lots of ways.

Neil: I don't know i just

Nurf: yeah

Nurf: its okay, it can be hard to say this stuff sometimes

Neil: Oh my God Nurf, let me fucking type

Nurf: oh sorry

Neil: everything's just super stressful at the moment which makes all the stressful stuff ten times harder

Neil: shit sucks

Neil: i have to dedicated everything i have to my schoolwork and yeah, I love being the smartest, I love being on top, but it can be really hard

Neil: I miss being 5

Neil: I really do

Neil: urgh, this is so humiliating, someone let me curl up and diiiiieee

Nikki: and he's back <3

Ered: this is all valid shit my dude

Ered: ur gonna be okay

Max: yeah, you don't have to prove that you're smart to be smart tho

Max: this sounds so fuckin cheesy but you're enough when you're you

Space Kid: yeah we love you Neil!

Nikki: what they said!

Neil: urgh thanks i guess

Nerris: what about your parents, can you talk to them about stuff?

Neil: my mum's on a business retreat abroad so I can't reach her, but I might when she gets back

Neil: and I don't want to talk about my dad about anything right now

Max: uh oh

Max: what did he do

Neil: nothing, sort of

Nikki: bull

Nikki: i'll hunt him down for ya

Neil: No, basically: he acted very supportive at my coming out, admittedly less so than my mum but what are you going to do?

Neil: But now he literally won't stop talking about it. Constantly, in every conversation we have, or he has with someone else, he just keeps saying "oh my son is lgbq, he is aromantic which is..." and then acts like its a revolution for him to be a 'good parent'.

Neil: But he keeps bringing it up when we're together and it kinda feels like he wants me to change my mind or guilt me into not identifying this way any more, and I'm mad but I don't have the mental strength to confront him about it.

Neil: I think I'll just go and live with mum instead when she comes back and teach him a lesson.

Ered: good idea dude

Nikki: Don't be so hard on urself, ur doing great! :D

Neil: bleugh, thanks

Neil: I don't feel so great, I am so burnt out

Neil: and what the FUCK is happening to my grammar?!

Max: XD

Max: you're becoming one of us

Space Kid: one of us! one of us!

Neil: Ah fuck.

Nerris: <3

Nerris: How are you doing now Neil?

Neil: Urgh, better I guess.

Neil: And sorry for snapping at you all or whatever the hell that was.

Space Kid: ah thats okay

Nikki: ye

Nikki: ah

Max: nicely done xd

Nikki: wait a minute

Nikki: where are those screenshots you sent from. Y'all have ur own groupchat??

Ered: ooh, what's it for?

Space kid: erm

Max: s h i t

Chapter Text

Ered: well?

Nikki: ANSWER IM CURIOUS!!!!

Nerris: if it helps i have a x18 point score in interrogation techniques XD

Nikki: cool! use that!

Nikki: ah shit i gtg i'll be like 5 minutes okay

Nerris: WHEREWEREYOUWHENMYMENWERECAPTURED????

Neil: Jesus Christ.

Max: Alright, im just gonna come out with it.

Max: We mae ourselves a little groupchat whee we could try and get Nikki and Ered togethe, just four of us and i know it was manipulative and i'm sorry. It was just fun but myabe it went too far.

Ered: dude what the hell?!

Max: sorry again

Max: I understand if u dont want me/us in the chat in anymore but plz dont be too mad, you lot are basically the only frinds ive ever had lmao

Neil: Uh oh, now Max is having the mental breakdown.

Preston: I volenteer as a tribute!

Preston: What I mean is, I was part of it too, basically the leader

Neil: Shut the fuck up, you were not.

Space Kid: If u kick them u have to kick me too!!!!

Ered: ok, like calm down my dudes

Ered: and not dudes, sorry preston and sk

Ered: sure this was weird or whatever, but only Nikki can kick you cos it's her groupchat

Ered: but seriously max calm down I'm not that mad

Ered: lets just wait until nikki gets back

Groupchat: The Shippers

Space Kid: bleugh i feel like im waiting for the principals office

Space Kid: Nikki would be the worst principal ever

Space kid: Or maybe the best...

Max: someone please shut up them up i feel like I'm gonna be sick

Neil: Dude, Nikki's nice, I'm sure she wouldn't kick us out.

Max: yeah but my fucked up brain doesn't see it that way

Max: urgh now im clammy

Space Kid: Try to take deep breaths Max

Max: i dont wanna breathe like a beached whale you fucking moron

Preston: Sorry guys, this was kind of my idea

Preston: A captain always goes down with her ship, after all!

Neil: We've all confessed, if you're trying to take the blame you can shut up.

Neil: But yes, an apology is acceptable.

Space Kid: AWWW!!!

Space Kid: No mater what happens, I'll always love u guys :D

Grouchat: Main

Nikki: Yo im baaaack!!!

Nikki: ooh good work Nerris!

Ered: down to u babe, I'm not to upset, an apology for messing with our lives was enough

Nikki: alrighty!!

Nikki: after a lenghty consultation with my stuffies over the last four seconds, I've reached verdict!

Nikki: the miscreants shall be forgiven for their misdeeds (they did get me the best gf ever after all) as long as they surrender ALL the messages they sent to me in PM and tell us all the most embarrassing thing they did when they were thirteen

Nikki: you know, taxes >:)

Preston: omg u are EVIL!

Preston: but thanks :)

Preston: Max you can come out from whatever hoodie you're hiding in

Neil: I'm just getting screenshots for you now, Nikki.

Nikki: STOP BEING A KISS ASS AND SURRENDER DEM MEMORIES!

Neil: Urgh, fine!

Neil: When I was thirteen I was trying out make up for the first time, you know, drag stuff, and I completely messed up the mascara. When I went out onto the street, some dude came up to me and complemented me on my batman cosplay.

Nikki: BRUH I MEANT PM IT TO ME BUT YEAH SHARE THEM HERE :D

Neil: FUCK!!!!

Max: haha

Max: foiled again Neil

Neil: -.-

Neil: You okay now then?

Max: Yeah.

Nikki: Any time you're ready pal :D

Ered: yeah lmao

Max: give me a minute, I have like a hundred to choose from.

Preston: I was doing one of the school pantomines, the entire cast, aside from myself of course, was so unrehearsed and unprofessional it was a nightmare. But my great shame ocured in the second act, scene four. We were doing a skit with a giant rubber telephone, I wont get into it, and the hilarity of the moment caused the entire onstage cast to fall down laughing. Myself included.

Preston: The shaaaaamee

Nikki: I dont get it

Preston: I broke character! That's one of the worst things you can do as an actor!

Ered: okay honey, I'm sure you did your best.

Max: ok my turn T_T

Max: it was huiliating a the time i promise but rn its the sort of thing I can laugh about

Max: one time at school on monday I was super delerious because i hadn't slept all weekend because reasons, and we has PE first

Max: after we were done running around and getting yelled at by elephant seals in gym teacher uniforms, I went back to the changing rooms before everyone else and was so tired that i thought i was cis and went in the guy's by mistake

Ered: ouch

Max: it gets worse

Max: I was like, well into changin g when all the guys came in and i realised my mistake and yeah, that was the most awkward thng ever

Nikki: man... i cant even laugh at that

Max: i mean, thank god i was wearing a binder by that point

Nikki: for real

Nikki: anyways, SK we're ready for you

Nikki: oh shit youre twelve

Space kid: actually

Space Kid: the most embarrasssing i did when i was thirteen was on my thirteenth birthday when i forgot to tell my friends

Space Kid: I've been thirteen for two weeks yaaaayy

Nikki: OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU DUMBASS

Space Kid: thank u :D

Nikki: and you are all officially forgiven

Preston: woohoo shippers triumph again!

Nurf: this is awesome and all but if you guys want to continue setting the rest of us, I could really use a date to my cousin's wedding XD

Preston: of course

Preston: however our services will now be in high demand, will you be paying in cash or card?

Neil: Preston, how dare you charge our mother?

Preston: ur right, we'll get you a date for mother's day

Nikki: XD

Chapter Text

Private Chat: Max @ Neil

Max: hey man you busy?

Neil: Not quite.

Neil: I have some practise exams to do but I'm way ahead of schedule.

Max: someone's finally lightening his load I see

Neil: Yep. I'm having homework withdrawal though and it's dire.

Max: xd

Max: can I ask you something?

Neil: As the smartest person you know, of course you can.

Max: you're aro right

Max: what's that like

Neil: Fun.

Neil: I get to roll my eyes at gross displays of affection.

Neil: Why do you ask?

Max: I've been having those thoughts for a bit

Max: like idk if its because my parents are shitty and I've never really understood what it felt like to feel loved, or you know some bullcrap like that, but I don't get what romance is supposed to feel like

Max: and I'm 15 so you know, I've had more than enough time to figure it out

Neil: I see.

Neil: It may be a little tricky for me to understand precisely where you're coming from - the concept of romantic and sexual attraction are fairly muddled for me since I experiance neither.

Max: I know I'm definitely not ace tho, won't go into detail lol, but yeah, the Internet is a fun place

Neil: Gross.

Max: lmao

Neil: But if you're not experiancing romantic attraction, or at least don't think you are, then you might as well identify with the aromantic label if it makes you comfortable. You can always adjust that later.

Max: I guess

Max: feels weird tho

Neil: I think it's supposed to.

Neil: Being queer is the worst sometimes.

Max: but if it's worth it if i get to meet people as amazing as you

Max: FUCK SHIT IDK IF I'M ACCIDENTALLY HIGH BUT THAT WAS SO CORNY AND GROSS DON'T YOU DARE READ IT!

Neil: I definitely do not feel the same way.

Neil: This group definitely has not lightened my life beyond relief.

Max: fuck dude

Max: feeling genuine love and understanding for the first time in your life is awful

Neil: Agreed, let's never speak of this again.

Neil: Let us sit in silence, like men do.

Max: yes plz

Max: wow this is boring

Groupchat: Main

Max: my binder broke lmao

Nikki: oh that sucks

Ered: rip

Max: I can't afford a new one so either I've got to mend it or... just suffer I guess

Nurf: how did you get your OG?

Max: some charity sent me a free one

Max: but I'm broke and I don't want to extort them any more than I already have

Nikki: Max

Nikki: Maaaaaaax

Nikki: repeat

Nikki: I AM WORTHY OF KINDNESS AND RESPECT

Max: Nikki is worthy of kindness and respect

Nikki: N O

Neil: Chill out Nikki, he knows.

Neil: We had a heart to heart the other night.

Nikki: awwwww

Nikki: what about??

Max: stfu

Neil: How this chat is pretty much the best thing that has ever happened to us.

Nikki: O.O

Nikki: I DID THIS HECK YEAH!

Max: neilwhathaveyoubrought?

Neil: It's fine, it's not like our lives were brilliant before you came along.

Nurf: I'd just like to weigh in and say same

Nikki: aww I just wanna hug all of you!

Max: what's a hug?

Neil: The typical emotional melding of Homo-Sapiens. Involves wrapping another's body in their arms - often used to transfer warmth and comfort.

Max: oh, so like a chokehold

Nurf: For fuck's sake, you guys are real pains in the ass sometimes

Nurf: and don't you DARE say it

Max: lol

Max: oh maybe now's as good as ever but i figured out i'm aro so that's a thing

Max: nikki pls chill

Nikki: NEVAH

Nikki: so happy for you :D

Max: *forcibly shoves nikki into freezer*

Ered: *extracts my girlfriend before kicking your little punk ass*

Neil: Found family, amiright?

Chapter Text

Groupchat: Main

Space Kid: Hey friends!

Space Kid: does anyone know where i can shop for girl clothes

Nikki: sorry nah

Nikki: any particular reason

Harrison: shops i guess?

Space Kid: lol true

Space Kid: ive started to want to wear more girl stuff, if that makes sense

Space Kid: some girls in my class have started dressing nicer and its making me jealous

Harrison: go for it, I bet you'd look real cute

Space Kid: :)

Space Kid: I guess any shop would be fine, i just don't want to get weird looks from the people who work there

Space Kid: ive heard stories about that happening and it scares me D:

Max: ah yeah store clerks are bitches

Max: what u wanna do is go to some hole in the wall clothing chain where the employees are so underpaid they wouldn't care if you lit the store on fire with them in it

Space Kid: ??

Max: or just, u know, go in when its busy

Max: so ur not noticed

Space Kid: makes sense

Space Kid: i wanna get some nice dresses and stuff tho

Space Kid: I got invited to a bat mitzvah next week and i dont know if i'll be in the mood to wear a suit or something else

Harrison: make sure whoever invited you is cool with it first i think

Harrison: Not that you should need permission, it just feels safer

Space Kid: shes fine with whatever, dont worry

Preston: omg i randomly checked my phone and saw this, I think I was summoned

Preston: I know the best places for trans dress shopping! Can I take you and teach you the tricks?!

Space Kid: sure why not :)

Preston: WOOOOO

Preston: If you want to try make up too I'm sure Neil could teach you a thing or two.

Preston: @Neil

Harrison: don't disturb him from his slumber

Neil: I've been here the whole time, you jerk.

Neil: I'm not great at doing make up on others, but I can give it a go.

Space Kid: thanks other neil

Space Kid: I've never considered wearing it before, but your drag pictures look very pretty

Neil: Urgh, how did you guys find those?

Nikki: We'll never tellll

Chapter Text

Groupchat: Main

Max: yo who wants to hear about my TERRIBLE night

Max: the night in which I, your good friend Max, trans god for the ages, was (for the first and defiantly not only time) arrested against my will

Harrison: oh my god

Max: Twas a harrowing tale of vandalism, minor theft and a squadron of park ducks - a journey that ended in the city's police station holding cell Max: our scrappy semi-depressed protagonist was forced to call upon the parentals for bail money, and they were not most pleased with such a chain of events

Max: so, head not yet hung in shame, Maxwell (someone at school called me that and I'm adopting it) was forced to endure the punishment of deadnaming and abuse about 'how much cuter you used to be before you decided to become a man, you peice of trash' before our hero was granted back his phone and a sliver of his dignity

Max: and i gotta rake leaves and pay those dickwads back for the bail

Max: all in all this is going to be one of our happier memories spent together

Max: anyway how are you guys?

Ered: i don't even know how to respond to this

Max: neither do i

Nerris: maladaptiive fantasy is the best coping mechanism, I always say :)

Max: ;)

Nurf: I know it's bad, but I'm trying desperarately not to laugh at the mental images this gave

Max: oh my dear sweet Nurf

Max: there's more

Preston: *shuffles for popcorn*

Max: as the parentals were not most pleased, neither were the police officers present, or the school from which Maxwell liberated all those fire extinguishers, so between three parties of hideous monsters, they delegated that I, their charge and your's, shall spend several months as a subject of a weekend correctional facility

Harrison: which means?

Max: basically i gotta go hang out in a communal hall in my FREE TIME to listen to lectures on why i shouldn't become the city's next drug lord

Max: tho with the comments those cops made I feel like my time there will be more focused on trying to turn me away from terrorism

Max: because cops are racist and stupid

Nerris: bruh that's a lot

Max: it's fine

Max: hardly the worst thing that could have happened to me

Nurf: wait

Nurf: which centre are they sending you?

Nurf: Is it the lilac fields correctional programme?

Max: ye

Max: makes no sense, this city neither has lilacs nor fields

Nurf: OH MY GOD

Nurf: FRIEND

Nurf: JUVIE FRIEND

Max: omg this prospect just got a million times better

Nurf: be gay try not to do crime partner!

Max: screw u i'm gonna do all the crime i want

Max: unless u want me to let our fellow inmates in on your, ahem, nickname

Nurf: i thouroughly withdraw my excitement

Nurf: this just became hell

Nurf: you just inspired me to become a model citizen, goodbye casual crime

Preston: guys this is such a rollercoaster

Preston: are you getting this Harrison

Harrison: every word my friend

Ered: i thought we agreed not to treat each other's lives like tv shows

Ered: or fanfics

Harrison: i made no such pact

Harrison: ...Max strides into the room full of hardcore teens, ready to make a mess of them...

Preston: booo

Preston: your form is all off, also what is a hardcore teen

Harrison: hardass, idk

Harrison: I would not know, since I am not such a thing

Max: you really aren't

Chapter Text

Groupchat: Main

Max: @Dolph are u in the airport rn

Max: or is the world haunted by small german teenagers with sketchbooks and i never noticed?

Nerris: You sound like a stalker

Dolph: I am there yes, are you?

Dolph: I guess that would make sense

Nikki: oooh y'all going on a trip??

Max: a trip to hell

Dolph: Yes, I am going to visit my mama's relatives in Germany for a few weeks!

Dolph: I am so excited! :D

Max: ur smile is so wide, i can tell

Dolph: I cannot see you, this is creepy

Nerris: That sounds so fun, enjoyr yourself!

Dolph: I definitely will, I have not seen most of them in years so it will be nice to reconnect

Dolph: also, some things are happening between me and my father, and the less said about it the better.

Dolph: I do not want to be at home

Nerris: ouch that sucks

Dolph: I just saw Nurf, you cannot hide from me anymore

Nurf: darn

Preston: where are you two going?

Max: like i said, hell

Max: don't you listen?

Nurf: As in, we finally found someone more dramatic than you Preston

Preston: Anarchy! Regicide!

Nurf: lol our juvie weekend seminar place is shipping us all out to spend the weekend camping in the woods for 'character growth'

Nurf: personally I look forward to such a transformative experiance

Max: shove it up your ASS

Nerris: this is a children's queer crime groupchat, how dare >:l

Max: you guys don't understand

Max: my blood is 60% wifi, 60% red bull and 800% NOT INTERACTING WITH FUCKING NATURE

Dolph: I know my mathematics are not up to scratch, but would that not equal slightly more than 100?

Max: I am 920% more of a man than you guys will ever be

Preston: ahhh, gender euphoria

Preston: thanking you kindly

Nikki: I AM SO GODDAM JEALOUS

Nikki: I LOVE CAMPING

Nikki: and Germany has like, bears or whatever

Nikki: AKA MY FRIENDS ARE LIVING MY WILDEST DREAMS

Ered: I'll take you camping sometime, chill

Max: switch places with meeee

Nurf: no, I have beef with the guy with the double sceptum peircing and I need a friend in my corner incase he tries to murder me in the woods

Nikki: I LOVE FIGHTING PEOPLE

Nikki: this is just cruel now

Preston: guys shuuuush you'll break her

Dolph: They are calling my gate, wish me luck!

Nerris: gl

Nikki: have fun!

Nurf: Max is sweating an awful lot... i'm starting to suspect he may have a fear of flying

Max: r e t r a c t t h a t s t a t e m e n t

Nurf: do you care to refute?

Nerris: you guys are standing right next to each other, you can talk face to face

Preston: hush, the drama

Max: FOR THE GODDAM RECORD i don't have a fear of flying i've just never flown beore

Max: a new experiance, and also i forgot to put on deoderant this morning, so u can wipe that fuckin grin off your face

Nurf: Never

Nurf: this is payback for embarrasing me in front of cute koi tattoo girl

Max: if spectum peircing george comes for your throat in the night, im leaving you for dead

Preston: you would leave our mother for dead? FOR SHAME

Nerris: omg i forgot about that

Nurf: GOOD

Nurf: get it all out now ya little shits, there's no service in the mountains!

Max: GOD IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, CRASH THE PLANE

Chapter Text

Groupchat: Main

Max: we're back

Max: i didn't kill myself

Max: i'm sure you're all delighted

Neil: Thrilled.

Neil: I'm with you on the nature-averse stuff, spending three days camping in the middle of nowhere sounds like Hell.

Nikki: HUSH FOOLS

Nurf: Don't mind him, it was actually kind of fun.

Nurf: Maxwell is just grumpy because he got adopted

Preston: AWWW

Max: NO NO SHUT UP

Nikki: y'all know what i'm going to say

Nikki: give us them detaaaaaaaiiiiillllllsssss!!!!!!!!

Max: HE IS OVERREACTING

Nurf: go drink your coffee and hush

Nurf: I'll tell you guys in a sec, just gotta unpack real quick

Dolph: Oh, welcome back!

Dolph: I am having a good time too Nurf

Nikki: feed me, i feed on the details of my friend's personal lives

Preston: ^^^^^^^^^^^

Preston: you just stole my personality >:l

Nikki: lol

Dolph: It is really nice here! The cities are much nicer, no offense, and it has been good to get to know my extended family again

Dolph: Aparently my uncle owns a chocolate factory

Dolph: It is basically Heaven

Nikki: could your life get any more appealing?

Dolph: That is not all!

Dolph: My oma, grandma to English speakers, and I were watching TV when that casually gay commerical came on that I mentioned a while ago

Preston: the one your dad was a dick about?

Dolph: Yes, only oma just smiled at it and said it was nice to see a change of pace in relationships, and then she winked at me

Dolph: I have only been here a few days, I think she knows, and it supportive of it

Nikki: THAT'S SO LIT

Nikki: my grandma's dead, except my dad's mum, but she doesn't like me or my mum so we're kinda adrift

Nikki: but I'm so happy for yooouuuu!

Preston: AGAIN, STEAING THE THOUGHTS FROM MY MIND!

Dolph: I do not know if I should come out to her, or leave things as they are, I will think about it I suppose

Max: okay, that's lowkey adorable

Nurf: it is

Nurf: you guys wanna know what else is adorable?

Max: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE

Dolph: Oh yes please!

Dolph: I assume this relates to your comments about your trip?

Nurf: Oh it does

Max: fine, whatever, spill your guts, i'm just gonna throw myself into incoming traffic

Nurf: he'll be fine

Nurf: so basically, we got to the camp after the longest bus ride of my FUCKING LIFE and there were like, a few security guard types there to make sure we don't run off and start forest fires or whatever, as well as these councellor types

Nurf: most of them seemed pretty done with life, an accurate reflection of our 20's future

Nurf: except for this one guy, he was like if sunshine and LSD had a baby, really seemed to believe we weren;t beyond redemption

Nurf: can't remember his name

Max: David, you son of a bitch

Nikki: welcome back :)

Nurf: XD anyway David was pretty nice the whole time, even after he got stabbed, and took a liking to our fine Maxwell here

Preston: stabbed???

Ered: u sure he wasn't like, a van candy man?

Nurf: Positive, he couldn't hurt a fly

Nurf: literally, he stepped on a ladybug and cried for, like, an hour

Max: it was pathetic

Preston: I reiterate, STABBED?

Nurf: yeah, it was like, a thing

Nurf: but on with embarrassing Max, I've never seen him crack such genuine smiles. i think he found a real parental figure to compensate for his shit show of a home life

Max: How would you like your funeral to be? Tasteful? Cos I would like it to be FUCKING SOON!

Nikki: awwww Maaaaxxxx

Max: go to hell

Preston: so nice when the cynical character finds a supportive guide

Dolph: This is such a sweet story!

Neil: lmao

Neil: And that's right, this is worth breaking grammar for

Nurf: our group might get shipped out into the wilderness for a longer stretch over the summer, I suspect Max may sign up again

Max: My parents signed me up for that disaster, i would never

Preston: and you got back at them by getting adopted, nice work champ

Max: ffs

Chapter Text

Space Kid: hey has anyone got any funny stories

Space Kid: im at the dentist and dont wanna think about it

Nerris: aww poor baby

Nerris: I got one, yesterday I was speaking to this guy in the corridor, he started asking me about my LARPing

Nerris: we got talking, and he mentioned he was thinking of joining my LARP club.

Nerris: I do not have a LARP club.

Ered: lol

Nerris: XD yeah the guy had me mixed up with someone else but I just happened to be a LARPer anyway, and now I have a new club to join

Space Kid: that is kind of weird haha

Space Kid: what is larping

Nerris: ...

Nerris: HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN YOU AGAIN?!?!?!?

Harrison: lol u broke them

Preston: I didn't realise people were actually scared of the dentist.

Preston: I thought it was a cultural myth, like bigfoot or bagpipes

Harrison: bagpipes are not a myth

Preston: Have you heard them in person?

Harrison: yes. yes i have

Ered: feel like we're getting off track

Space Kid: no this is also funny

Harrison: I've got one

Harrison: a while back I was going through a magician phase and practised that box dissapearing on my little brother

Harrison: note - little bro has an attention span the size of a catterpillar

Harrison: so when he wondered off behind my back and I opened the box and he was gone I thought I'd ikseiled him to the void

Ered: OMG LOL

Harrison: my whole family was hysterical, then he showed up after an hour or so

Harrison: never been so scared in my life

Space Kid: okay that did make me laugh :)

Space Kid: uh oh, gtg. talker later

Nerris: Harrison I am rolling

Harrison: if you think that's funny, I'll tell you abt what happened after

Preston: omg please

Harrison: as revenge, little bro locked me in the pantry to trick parents into thinking I'd dissappeared

Harrison: but now they were desensitized to it, so I was in there for hours

Ered: jesus

Harrison: also brother forgot where he put me, so yeah, that was a fun afternoon

Nerris: omg are you okay?

Harrison: yeah, this was years ago

Preston: I don't think that's what they meant.

Harrison: ?

Ered: what did your parents say when you got out

Harrison: 'oh that's where you are' or something along those lines

Harrison: what are you all freaking out for?

Ered: getting locked in the cupboard for hours and your parents not caring is kinda messed up dude

Harrison: not really, it was my fault for scaring them with that other trick

Nerris: yeah but still

Preston: if my brother did that I'd beat the shit out of him

Harrison: I'm not fighting my brother over something that happened 3 years ago

Ered: did he apologise

Ered: dude?

Nerris: it's been like 5 minutes

Nerris: I'll try dm

Chapter Text

Preston: heyy check it out

Preston: *sent picture*

Ered: whoaa

Preston: I know right?!

Nikki: cool u made that?

Preston: yep!

Preston: when i went shopping with sk a few weeks back i realised how much cooler the vintage handmade stuff was than everything else, so I've been practising ever since!

Preston: it's pretty fetch

Preston: omg i've got to start making costumes for my commmunity theatre plays!

Preston: does anyone know where I can buy a used sewing machine???

Max: and we lost her

Space Kid: dress shopping was so much fun!

Space Kid: i found a poofy one with stars on it!

Space Kid: all the bat mitzvah girls were so jealous

Ered: ayy good 4 u little dudette

Space Kid: :)

Neil: Ah, the bar/mat mitzvah.

Neil: Earth's closest replica to Hell.

Space Kid: aww neiul it wasnt that bad

Space Kid: lots of fun dancing

Max: i cannot imagine neil being happy to dance

Nikki: not even in drag?

Max: nope

Neil: Affirmative.

Neil: You wouldn't believe the lengths I've gone to, in order to get out of dancing over the years.

Neil: One particular instance when I was nine involved a flamethrower.

Neil: But that's not a story for here and now.

Nikki: IT IS ABSOLUTELY A STORY FOR HERE AND NOW

Ered: yeah i want the details too

Neil: I wish I could, but I signed an NDA.

Neil: I'm just grateful my parents were already divorced by then, otherwise I'd be worried that was the incident that pushed them over the edge.

Max: what...what the fuck

Neil: It was a whole thing.

Max: so are we all secretly traumatised orrrrr?

Preston: darn you brought it up

Preston: Harrison hasn't been online in like, five days

Nikki: oh yeah

Nikki: i'll bet at least one of us knows where he lives

Nikki: we can break him out!

Ered: it probably won't come to that

Ered: but if it does, i know nurf will be down

Neil: Now THAT is a movie I would watch!

Preston: That is a movie I would write!

Nurf: I don't know why its me saying this, or why it needs to be said, but FRIENDS DO NOT ROUGH UP EACH OTHER'S HOUSES

Ered: the boring ones don't

Max: right so, while we're on the subject of houses, does anyone have a couch i can crash on for a few nights?

Max: i won't take up much space i just need a roof over my head

Ered: dude wtf

Max: you know what nvm i can deal

Ered: no it's just

Ered: what's going on?

Nurf: are your parents being assholes again, because i get off work at 6

Max: what was that you said about not roughing up each other's houses??

Nurf: it ain't your house if you don't live there anymore

Max: ffs

Ered: I can steal my dads' car, it's their aniversary they won't notice a thing

Nikki: can i come?? I can bite through solid steel!

Max: DO NOT ROUGH UP MY PARENTS HOUSE I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH

Max: we just had a minor dispute and i need a place to crash for a while

Max: id stay where i am but it's forecasted to rain toniught

Max: also nikki wtf

Ered: where exactly are you staying rn?!

Max: you know that bridge on 4th?

Max: there are a cpuple of real sturdy cardboard boxes

Max: and turns out drug dealers aren't that bad when you get to know them

Preston: please tell me you're joking

Max: my jokes are awesome Preston

Nikki: Max I respect your wishes in accordance to the relationship between your parents and violence

Nikki: BUT COME ON I WILL BURN THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS TO THE FUCKING GROUND

Nikki: YOU DESERVE BETTER

Max: whatever you say nik

Nurf: my manager doesn't really need me for this shift, i'm two blocks away

Neil: Alright can everyone please chill the fuck out!

Neil: Max can crash with me at my dad's place, he's got a new gf so unless the house is literally on fire, he won't notice a damn thing.

Max: thanks bro

Neil: I'll dm you the address.

Neil: And then blackmail my mom into giving us pizza money.

Max: xd

Nurf: okay but seriously max, if your parents throw you out, you need to tell us

Ered: yeah man, we're your friends

Ered: violence and jokes aside, we'll be there for you

Max: -_-

Nurf: we love you too buddy

...

6:45pm

Ered created Groupchat: Fuck Max's Parents

Ered added Nikki, Nurf and Neil

Ered: we need to talk

Chapter Text

Groupchat: Fuck Max's Parents

Ered: realneil how's our boy doing?

Neil: He's alright now.

Neil: We had some pizza, a spirited debate about which Transformers movie sucks the most, now he's passed out on my beanbag.

Nurf: thanks for taking him in

Nurf: I know too well the burden of being an unwanted child

Nikki: also whoever of u won that debate was wrong, ALL the transformers movies are good

Ered: lol

Ered: did he say anything else

Ered: like why he was living under a bridge

Neil: No, but to be fair, I didn't ask.

Neil: I thought it better to let him settle in.

Neil: Like an adopted cat.

Nikki: awwww

Private Message Chat - Nikki & Ered

Nikki: u ok bb?

Ered: yeah, mostly, just worried about max

Ered: my mind is running at 100000000+ miles an hour

Ered: decidedly uncool

Nikki: u want me to come over?

Ered: sure

Nikki: yeeeeeeee

Ered: you just want to try and beat my settlers of katan score, dont u?

Nikki: you know me so well...

Nikki: ILL DEFEAT YOU YET ERED MILLER

Ered: XD

Groupchat: Main

Nerris: I tricked a new kid in the pokemon club into a 1 on 1 battle

Nerris: completely destroyed his ass

Harrison: ayo congrats

Preston: SINCE WHEN AARE YOU BACK

Preston: EVERYONE H IS BACK

Harrison: well darn there goes my lurking

Nurf: d u d e

Nikki: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOU *(&&^%^&&

Nurf: Whoa, I didn't know this app censored stuff

Nerris: only for certain words

Space Kid: my phone doent' have the censor function, im going to google that word real quick

Nurf: SK NO!!

Nerris: @Harrison you good?

Harrison: yeah mostly

Harrison: had a rough week and i didn't have it in me to be social

Harrison: just scrolled up, damn max, you good?

Max: pretty good actually, Neil's place has a shower with hot water

Max: the fancy bitch

Neil: MOST PLACES DO!

Neil: Also hello Harrison

Harrison: lol hi

Nurf: you know you can talk to us

Nurf: Its basically a chat rule by now

Harrison: i know, i know

Harrison: Ray and I broke up, he's got a scholarship two states over and his family's moving

Harrison: we've both tried long distance before and it didn't go so well s we decided to just let it go

Nurf: darn that sucks

Harrison: yea but I've had my post breakup depression and im ready for life again

Harrison: hence the end of the lurking

Harrison: Also this is totally random, but could you not bring up my whole parents/brother situation, I've got a lot on my mind rn and I'm not sure how many more conversations I can take

Harrison: sorry

Nurf: that's alright buddy <3

Nikki: yea. i'm nosy but ill keep my cool

Max: i get it. talking fucking sucks

Neil: fine by me

Nerris: that's okay :) i'm sure we all get it

Harrison: :)

Space Kid: im back

Space Kid: i need to burn my eyeballs

Harrison: ?

Ered: scroll up honey

Harrison: dear god i have missed you people

Groupchat: Fuck Max's Parents

Neil: Happy Monday, folks.

Neil: Max told me what happened with his parents.

Chapter Text

"Knock knock," Neil's dad used both the traditional knock against the doorframe and a verbal announcement. Neil was at the computer, hunched over his messy desk. Max was reclining on his air mattress, and glanced up as the man stuck his head round the door.

"What's up Mr Lowenstein?" He chirped. Oh God, since when did he chirp?!

"Just wanted to let you two know last night's leftovers are in the fridge. Don't expect me back unless it's late, if ya know what I mean?" The man wiggled his eyebrows.

"Dad!" Neil groaned, taking a break from typing to put his head in his hands.

"What, we're all men in this house," Neil's dad paused to throw a strong smile Max's way, which the boy tried not to cringe at. The man was trying, but by God Max finally understood the torment of an overbearing parent. "You two have fun now. Don't do anything I wouldn't do, huh?"

"Dad!" Neil's eye twitched.

"What. This is an open minded house, son. I'm prepared for whoever you might happen to bring home if you happen to change your mind,"

Max knew it was shitty, but the way Neil's face was slowly turning purple had him biting his lip, trying not to laugh.

"Okay, okay, I'm going. Wish me luck."

The door fell shut, and Neil's dad disappeared.

Neil groaned and slumped down into his chair.

"I'm sorry about him." He said for the fiftieth time that week.

"It's cool." Max shrugged. "At least he's not throwing wine bottles at my head."

He brushed his fingers over the bumpy scar just below his hairline. Neil has taken one look at the grubby plaster he'd thrown over it, and insisted Max go to the hospital. One minor argument later, Neil had dug out an old medical kit from his closet and stitched the wound up himself, though not before telling Max he was going to be monitoring it profusely. Max hadn't minded as much as he'd pretended to. It felt warm to be taken care of. Weirdly warm, like taking a hot bath fully clothed.

Max knew going back wasn't exactly an option, at least not for another few weeks, but he wasn't sure exactly how long he could stomach being a freeloader in someone else's house.

"Just out of interest," He shifted back on the mattress. "How long do you think it'll be before he notices I'm living here?"

"Oh please," Neil smirked. "I can keep him from noticing anything. I was breeding lab mice in the basement for three months before he caught on."

Max whistled. He also glanced towards all the corners of the room, keeping an eye out for tiny paws and tails.

Neil was typing away at the computer again, his eyes glazing over with focus. Max glanced up at the ceiling, then the walls, then the floor.

"I'm, uh, I'm gonna go check out those leftovers," He said, and scurried out of the room.

Neil's dad was on some sort of foreign food kick, and had served them enchiladas out of a $5 kit he'd found at Target. Max watched them spin slowly in the microwave, the little machine patiently projecting the ever-changing red numbers on his face.

Neil's dad was some kind of professor, from what he understood, Max wasn't sure what he taught, but it had scored him a mighty fine kitchen. Every surface was polished and silver, and a maid came round every week and a half to clear up the accumulated grime. She'd been here yesterday, and Max had caught a few snippets of Hindi while she was on the phone to her cousin.

His kitchen at home (no, not home, parent's house, parent's house-) was a grimy cesspit of cockroaches and half-expired cereal. All the pans were burnt to the point of having holes in them, and there was drug residue on all the cutlery from the 'business' nights.

A beep made him jump, and Max glanced back at the microwave. The enchiladas were steaming as he took them out. Pain seared onto his fingers, and he grimaced juggling the plate as he yanked the sleeves of his hoodie over them.

He ate in silence, glancing out the window at the shadowy garden beyond.

His heart thumped. These enchiladas were fucking good. They had nothing on the 24/h Mexican place down the street from his apartment, but they were still good. They had vegetables in them, fresh meats, three different kinds of cheese. They were good.

He sniffed, blinked, and put his plate in the dishwasher.

Back upstairs, Neil was exactly where Max had left him, back straight, fingers grazing the keys. Max hopped over the air mattress, and took a look at the screen. Neil was writing some kind of essay. He rolled his eyes and prodded his friend's shoulder.

"Neillll,"

"Huh?"

"You've been on the computer for five hours. You told me to make you take a break if that happened."

Neil shook his head and waved Max away. "I'm good."

"You're relapsing, Neil."

"Nah I'm not."

His words were barely more than a murmur, completely absorbed by the screen. Max rolled his eyes.

"I know you pulled an all nighter last night. I won't let you do it again."

"S'not an all nighter." Neil mumbled. "Went to bed at five. Sun goes up at seven."

Max rolled his eyes. He hopped back over the mattress, went to Neil's closet and pulled out a few items. He then hopped back and leant over Neil's shoulder. He pressed the ctrl+S option on the keyboard, before using his foot to yank out the plug. The screen went black.

"Wha- hey!"

"Yo, take a look at this." Max thrust the clothing options into Neil's face. "Think I had a skirt like this when I was five. Though I didn't have a halter top."

Neil blinked. "It's a vest. And careful with it, it's one of the good ones."

"Seriously?" Max smirked. "This thing? It's like something a five year old girl would wear."

He tossed the shirt onto the bed. Neil's eyes widened.

"That's because you don't wear it with that skirt! You need a leather, not a tiered one. Here, I'll show you-" Neil jumped up out of the chair, snatched the top and skirt and went to rifle through the wardrobe.

Max smiled and watched his friends as he darted through his drag collection, muttering to himself.

"This combo would actually be kind of cute, especially with the stap shoes, where's my, ah fuck I let Space Kid borrow that. Damn it-"

"You know you're dad's out of the house for the night," Max said. "Want to put them on?"

Neil grinned, and dove into the closet even further.

Four hours later, the boys were leaning against each other on the couch, the credits to their second movie playing. Max was working his way through a pint sized tub of ice cream, while Neil was polishing off his leftovers, delicately making sure he didn't spill anything on his top and skirt.

"I know I'm not supposed to have meat and dairy in the same meal, but it's so good!" he exclaimed, licking his fingers and putting his plate aside. "You know, I'm thinking of getting my ears pierced."

"Do it," Max said, mouth full of ice cream. "I kinda want that too, but ya know, dysphoria."

Neil grunted. "Sounds like a bitch."

"She is."

They chucked, and Neil reached for the remote.

"I picked the last two. It's your turn."

Max glanced at the screen. Neil's dad had Netflix, HBO, Disney+ and infinite other streaming services that Max hadn't even heard of. The amount of movies out there, all so different and trying so hard, made his head spin a little. He grimaced.

"Nah. You do it."

"You sure?" Neil glanced over. "You okay?"

Max opened his mouth. But no sound came out.

Neil raised his eyebrows. Throughout their messaging, Max hadn't realised just how deep their friendship had become, but now it was like Neil could read him with just a glance.

"Yeah?" Neil asked quietly.

"Yeah." Max mumbled. Neil nudged his elbow, before flicking to a movie on Netflix.

"Here. I get a feeling you'll like this one."

Max chuckled as Fast and Furious's credits rolled up. "Nice. Think we can make it through all six before your dad gets home?"

"There's ten."

"There's WHAT?!"

------------

Groupchat: Fuck Max's Parents

Neil: Guys, I have an idea.

Chapter Text

Nikki: MASSIVE ANNOUNCEMENT GUYS!

Nikki: next thurs is my birthday, and im throwing a massive party and youll never guess who's invited!!!!

Harrison: Danny Devito?

Nerris: fool its obviously going to be Chris Pratt

Dolph: I would very much like to meet the first lady

Ered: lol i love you guys

Nikki: all of you guys! duh

Nikki: my mom came into some money recently, so we're renting out space at a diner

Nikki: which will not poison u guys, i will make sure of it

Nurf: thank god lol

Nurf: I'm in. That's my week off work

Nerris: same, can't wait!!!

Harrison: me neither!

Dolph: I'm afraid I cannot make it. I am still in Germany

Dolph: but I wish you a very happy birthday Nikki

Nikki: damn. We'll miss you!!!

Nurf: you've been out there a while, when do you get back?

Dolph: aha, that is a very complicated question to answer.

Dolph: and I do not wish to bring down the mood.

Nikki: dude.

Nikki: you know what im about to say

Nerris: are you okay buddy?

Dolph: mostly now that i am here

Dolph: it is a somewhat intense story.

Ered: if you wanna tell it, we want to hear it.

Dolph: alright I will do my best.

Dolph: My father found this chat. I did not want to tell any of you in case you felt I had exposed your secrets. But he was not happy

Harrison: jesus

Max: oh god are u okay??

Nikki: screw our secrets! what he said!

Dolph: I am now, yes. We had an argument, and since I do not like arguing it made me very upset (I can't really remember how to express myself in English right now, so sorry if I sound a bit robotic). Eventually he calmed down and said it was probably best if I went to stay with my mothers family for a bit

Nurf: oh thank god, i thought we'd have to launch a rescue mission

Nikki: breaking into a military base is 100% on my bucket list anyway

Dolph: haha that is not necessary

Dolph: But I've been here for at least a month now and not spoken to my father. All my things are here and I don't think he wants me back. So it is here I might have to stay

Dolph: sorry if that means we can't see each other again, you guys will be what I miss most about being here

Ered: dude we're jsut relieved ur okay

Space Kid: yeah! now you and max are safe

Max: saferr

Max: i was never unsafe

Nerris: we'll miss you! u can still chat right?

Dolph: of course :)

Nurf: sorry about your dad btw. I have a shitty one too, I know how much it sucks

Dolph: <3

Dolph: I just read up on emojis, did I do that right?

Groupchat: Fuck Max's Parents

Nurf: i can't stop thinking about Dolph.

Nurf: I know its like 3 am but i can't sleep

Nurf: like he didnt go into detail, but what if his dad hit him or something?? i can't stop thinking about it

Nurf: i know its over now and dumb to think about, but its eating my brain

Nurf: should we try find out

Neil: We probably shouldn't meddle, we don't want to make things worse or dredge up the trauma.

Nurf: yea ur right

Nurf: im gonna turn on some meditation or something

Nurf: i can't sleep and ive got work tomorrow

Neil: You don't usually type this much, are you alright?

Nurf: im fine.

Nurf: mostly,i guess it just brrought up old memories and shit

Nurf: trauma is fuuuun

Neil: I can see that. You mentioned your dad was a shitty one.

Neil: I don't want to dredge anything up for you either, but usual server rules reply. We're here to listen.

Nurf: uuurgh

Nurf: its mostly what youve probably figured out by now

Nurf: violence, crime, ect

Nurf: He didn't leave to get cigarettes, he made me steal the cigarettes for him.

Nurf: thats my favourite joke i made up about it

Neil: lol

Neil: No lie, that genuinely made me smile a bit.

Nurf: haha good

Nurf: its alright now, i haven't seen him since i was like, 9,

Nurf: I heard he got shanked in prison

Neil: Good riddance.

Neil: We're on your side.

Neil changed the chat name to Fuck Max's Parents and Nurf's Dad

Nurf: lol

Nurf: how did u do that, i thought only Nikki was admit

Nurf: *admin

Neil: I hacked it during the first week.

Nurf: lol what

Neil: It was a long time ago. I have since rediscovered the meaning of 'boundaries'.

Nurf: of course you have

Nurf: speaking of boundries, you don't think our upcoming 'group activity' breaks too many of them?

Neil: No.

Neil: Possibly.

Neil: It's a morally dependant, grey area.

Nurf: I have no idea what that means

Neil: It basically means we'll have to wait until we do it to find out.

Neil: But it will be helpful for Max in the long run, so it's a risk I'm willing to take.

Chapter Text

"Do you think this counts as us committing a crime?" Nikki whispered, as Neil pried the key into the lock.

"Shhhhh!" He breathed.

"I'm just checking. I want to be specific in my memoir."

"You're writing a memoir?" Nurf whispered. "Nice."

"Breaking and entering, babe." Ered whispered. "Happy early birthday."

Neil rolled his eyes, and slowly turned the key in the lock. It clicked, and he hesitated. If Max's parents were inside, this was the moment they got caught.

But nothing happened. The group breathed a sigh of relief, before Neil pushed open the door.

The apartment inside was... well it was something. Neil's nose wrinkled as they stepped inside. The blinds were pulled jaggedly over the windows, litter from takeaways and other endeaours was stacked all over the coffee table and sofa. There was a smell like warm mould and dust that lingered heavy in the air. Jesus, his room wouldn't exactly win awards for cleanliness, but even he couldn't live like this.

"This place kind of reminds me of home." Nurf remarked casually, stepping over an abandoned litter tray for a cat Neil had had no idea existed. "Like before my dad left."

"Right?" Nikki chorused. "This apartment's got the same layout as mine. This way to the kitchen, come on!"

Nurf and Nikki headed through a doorway to a kitchenette. Neil paused to share a glance with Ered. That was something they could get into later. They followed their friends into the kitchen.

The sight in here was even more dismal. Neil made a face, and resolved himself to maybe clean up around the house a little more, to make sure it didn't end up like this.

Nurf was crouched below a tall pantry, and Nikki was balanced on his back, riffling through the contents.

"Ooh, they've got catfish crackers! Haven't seen those in a while."

"They got discontinued babe." Ered remarked, easily reaching the box, and munching on a handful.

"No fair, I saw them first!" Nurf protested.

"Guys, focus!" Neil groaned. "We're here for Max's stuff, not snacks!" The trio blinked and looked his way.

"Oh yeah!" Nikki exclaimed. "You've got a list, right?"

Neil was a better listener than people gave him credit for. When he was trying at least. Max didn't say much, but he said enough, glanced down at some of Neil's items with a wistful look. He whipped a scroll of notepaper out of his pocket.

"Alright people, listen up. Ered, you're on food duty. Pick these suckers clean of everything edibe."

"How come I'm not on food duty?" Nikki whined.

"Because you'd get distracted. Speaking of, Nikki, clothes. Grab a trash bag, go to the closet and take everything that isn't feminine. Shoes too."

"On it!" Nikki scooped up a reel of bin bags from the counter and hurried off to the bedrooms.

"Nurf, I was going to have you trash this place to send a message, but that would probably constitute to an actual crime and I don't want to force more juvie time onto you. Also this place is such a dumpster already I'm not sure they'd notice. So you're with me."

The two boys headed to the small bedroom offset by an alcove, the door of which was open. Nikki was crouched half inside the wardrobe, and enthusiastically throwing clothes into trash bags, chuckling to herself.

Max's room, honestly wasn't that much different from Neil's. Messy, cluttered, with the difference of Neil's expensive computer equipment.

There were a few personal effects scattered around on sheves, books, childhood trinkets, a decent looking camera. Nurf removed his backpack and started to carefully pack the items inside, putting the firmer stuff at the bottom so nothing would get damaged. He picked up the camera with a chuckle, before passing it to Neil.

"Better keep a hold of this." He said. "Max'll be glad to see it."

Neil put the camera safely in his own bag, and turned to Max's desk. There was a beaten old laptop, the screen of which was literally held on with duct tape. Neil grimaced and slid it into his backpack, along with a dusty pencil case and a small statue of one of the Hindu gods.

From the closet, Nikki chuckled. Neil turned to see her holding up a ridiculously ruffled blue dress obviously made for a much younger child than either of them.

"Forcing your kid to wear this has got to be child abuse on its own." She said.

Neil nodded at her, before turning back to his task, deciding not to say he found the dress kind of cute. It sparked something in his mind, however. The first ever techinically feminine item he'd bought himself was a bejewelled bracelet with his bar mitzvah money. He'd been so ashamed he hadn't let it see the light of day. He'd hidden it, in...

Neil checked the structural stability of the desk. It seemed fine, but he was still cautious as he hauled himself up onto it, stretching to reach the vent drilled into the wall.

A true man of science went nowhere without a multi-tool. Neil slid his keychain out of his pocket and selected the right screwdriver head, before wriggling the screws and vent off the wall.

Just as he had suspected, a shoebox. Neil pulled it down. Inside there was a packet of cigarettes, only missing one and dated to three years ago, much to his relief. There was also a small role of banknotes, a broken chest binder, an envelope that he didn't pry into, and to his surprise and delight, a deflated old teddy bear.

Neil emptied the box into his bag, and replaced the vent. He was just replacing the final screw, when the door was thrown open.

Ered was standing in the doorway, eyes wide and panicked.

"Someone's unlocking the front door!" She exclaimed. Behind her, Neil heard the distant sound of a door opening, and muffled voices.

"Fuck shit fuck." Nurf whispered to himsef, clutching his rucksack. Ered closed the door behind her and pressed her body against it. Neil threw himself from the desk and ran to Nikki, shaking her by the shoulders.

"What do we do!" He gasped.

"Wasn't this your idea!"

"I know, but-"

He caught his own words as the muffled voices outside started getting nearer.

Nikki's eyes widened, and she wriggled out from Neil's grasp, throwing the binbag full of clothes at him, which knocked him to his knees. She darted over to the window, and started tugging on the rusty lock.

"Nurf!" She whispered, a bit too loud for Neil's liking. "Help me!"

Neil wasn't sure why he was expecting the older boy to pick the lock. Nurf slipped on his rucksack, went over to the lock, and broke it in two with one yank.

Nikki slid the window open, and glanced out. She pumped her fist, her panicked expression turning to a grin.

"Here!" She beckoned them over. "This is how I sneak out when I'm grounded."

Neil passed the other trash bag to Ered, and as quietly as they could, they crept over to join the others at the window. There was a thin layer of tiles wrapping around the building, and as Neil craned his neck, he saw a drainpipe at the far end. He winced.

"Are you sure that's safe?"

Nikki nodded, and slipped out of the window before any of them could stop her. Neil watched in horrified amazement as she crawled her way along the tiled trellice faster than walking, and arrived at the drainpipe within seconds. She slid down it like a rope, and jogged over to stand below the window..

"Throw me the stuff!" She called.

"Nikki! Not so loud!" Neil whisper-screamed as alarmed voices sounded beyond the bedroom door.

Nurf darted across the room and threw his weight against the bedroom door.

"Go!" He whispered. "That thing would never hold my weight anyway!"

"Are you crazy!" Neil cried. There was no point in whispering, Max's parents had definitely heard them by now.

"Dude, we've gotta go!" Ered, nudged him. Neil grimaced, but he knew he didn't have a choice. Taking the little bag of stolen food from Ered, he slipped it into his backpack, and prepared himself to wriggle out onto the ledge. Gosh, the ground was far away. How many flights of stairs had they climbed to get here? Two?? Three???

"Come on." Ered whispered, and Neil sucked in a breath. Time to bite the bullet.

The tiles wobbled beneath him as he eased himself out. He glanced up one last time. Nurf was still pressed against the door, and gave Neil an easy thumbs up. Neil swallowed. This whole thing had been his idea, he had dragged the others into it and now-

He grimaced, and started to move. Don't think about that, think about finally piercing your ears, winning a nobel prize, anything but the ground and how far away it is-

There came two thwumps as the trash bags were tossed to Nikki down below, then Ered eased herself out of the window as well, wearing Nurf's bulky backpack. Neil winced and continued to inch his way down the trellice. Don't look down, don't look down-

He reached the drainpipe far too soon. Neil gulped, and attempted to shift his weight. Remember the basic principles, three points of contact, balance mass-

Shit.

The moment his sneaker touched the side of the drainpipe, Neil realised two things. One it had been raining last night and the flimsy plastic was slippery. Two, Nikki was obviously experienced in this. Drainpipe climbing was not a skill for a novice.

Neil's foot slipped, and he barely stifled a shriek as he fell. He heard Ered and Nikki gasp before he hit the ground, then all he could hear was his heartbeat in his ears and his own muffled groans of pain.

Chapter Text

Neil: guyyysss

Neil: i am on soooooooo many drugs

Nerris: Oh wow.

Neil: has liffe alqways b3een thisd greaaaat???

Space Kid: whats greaaaat?

Space Kid: oh i see

Neil: ohl spik kis

Neil: ily and itn uisn an hojnour to shaere yiouer naame

Neil: ik,ohyfgyg foihhhhhyhhhhhhhhhhhh

Max: sent photo

Preston: OH MY GOD HAHA

Nerris: Spik kis

Nerris: i can't breathe

Ered: hows he doing?

Max: he's fine, i didnt know you could sprain your entire leg lol

Max: but he'll be on his feet in a couple of weeks

Max: speaking of which,what the hell were you guys thinking

Nikki: we were trying to get you your stuff back so you could start a new life! plz dont be mad!!!

Max: im not mad

Nikki: you sound mad... :(

Max: im not mad

Max: a little perturbed maybe

Preston: perturbed?

Preston: Even I don't talk like that

Max: i could charge my phone for like 3 hours and all the hospital had to read was a thesaurus

Max: i am somewhat disquient that my friend is now unconscious in a hospital bed

Nurf: in hindsight, it was quite the risk to take

Ered: oh hi

Ered: you alright?

Nurf: Fine, yeah. Turns out it wasn't Max's parents coming back, it was some local kids who break in to use the microwave

Max: oh themm

Max: those guys are cool

Nikki: so Neil broke his ankle for nothing??

Preston: Not for nothing!

Preston: What a story!

Max: also I got the Krishna statue my uncle gave to me back, which is good i guess

Max: not sure where im gonna put it tho now that neil's dad knows i was living in their house

Nikki: i can put you up!

Nikki: my mum never notices anything

Max: thanks but i think i'm over the lying to parents thing

Max: it's a lot of stress

Ered: I could talk to my dads and see if they'll let you crash with us

Preston: Aren't they super strict?

Nikki: dont they work for the goverment?

Preston: They WHAT

Ered: they are and they do but they're not heartless

Ered: also that's supposed to be a secret

Nikki: oh sorry

Max: neils dad went to talk to some guy at the hospital for me

Max: foster system here i come

Nurf: Speaking from experience, it's not as bad as media makes it out to be. As long as you're tough and know how to hide your shit

Nurf: which you are

Max: guess so

Max: could be a lot worse

Max: as long as there's a roof over my head

Max: the bridge had a roof...

Ered: you are NOT living under a bridge again!

Max: fine i was joking

Nerris: my mom is a social worker, if you want I could get her to pull a few strings for you?

Max: intruiging

Max: i wouldn't mind that

Nerris: I gotchu bro

Nerris: she's done it before with one of my friends from school

Max: thanks nerris

Max: idk how to thank people but I appreciate it

Max: hold it in esteem even

Nerris: it's fine, you can agree to be part of my next DnD campaign to pay me back :D

Max: godDAMN IT!

Max: ill take rogue

Max: whu oh Neil's up and demanding waffles gtg

Preston: omg I'd KILL for a waffle right now

Chapter Text

Dolph: I have news

Dolph: I finally understand the meaning of having a 'crush'

Dolph: By which I mean I do not understand these feelings and they are awful

Nurf: lol welcome to my world

Nurf: everyone is hot all the time

Nikki: OMG DISH

Dolph: haha

Dolph: I joined a painting class here in Kiel, it is a lot of fun, but there is one boy who

Dolph: What is the phrase?

Harrison: is a total smokeshow?

Dolph: No. Sits on top?

Nurf: top of the class?

Dolph: That is the one yes

Dolph: I need to practise my English more, my god

Dolph: His paintings are always better than mine and all the girls keep talking about his hair even though it is not that shiny, and I must best him at all costs

Harrison: oh our boy is GONE

Nurf: good luck dude

Dolph: It is not funny. He is my enemy and I must make him taste the taste of defeat

Dolph: My father taught me to waterboard

Nikki: A, plz teach me how to do that and B, OMG YOURE CRUSHING THIS IS SO CUTE!!!!!

Dolph: I am not!

Harrison: you literally opened this conversation telling us you have a crush

Dolph: Well darn it

Dolph: I am still going to crush him

Dolph: That is the only crushing that will go on around here

Nikki: this is amazing

Nikki: anyone else got romantic news????

Nikki: pleeaaasseeee!!!!!

Harrison: Sadly not lol

Harrison: I'm still getting over Ray

Nurf: I kinda do, but honestly the less said about that the better

Harrison: oh?

Max: lol i know this story

Nurf: I am warning you Maxwell

Nikki: deeeetaaaaiiiiiillllllsssssss

Nurf: not sure how many i can give

Nurf: considering there are kids on this chat

Harrison: damn nurf

Max: basically we got the best of the sceptum piercing dude at our camp (he now has more piercings than he bargained for) and it got koi tattoo girl back in Nurf's favour

Nikki: awwww. Love and violence go hand in hand more often than you'd think

Harrison: that was strangely profound Nikki

Nikki: do you hold hands while you commit your gay crimes??

Harrison: and we're back

Nurf: hdjshdhd that's the complication

Nurf: she 100 percent cannot know i like guys

Nurf: if she knows the entire juvie centre will know and that would be a disaster

Max: yeah our social standing is precarious at best

Harrison: damn that sucks

Nurf: eh, i've been in worse situations

Nurf: we're keeping it casual

Harrison: do you know her name?

Nurf: shut up Harrison

Nurf: of course I know her name

Nikki: does she know your's

Nurf:

Nurf: what do you think

Ered: that's cool lol. Even nikki doesnt know my real name

Nikki: wait what

Ered: how's ur new digs Max?

Max: pretty lame, living with Neil pampered me

Max: i dont have a roomate, which is pretty sweet

Max: also Nerris's DnD game was lowkey sick and you should all join immediately

Max: alas there are no new chapters in max's misery saga this week, sorry to dissappoint

Ered: sounds awesome bro

Ered: live it up

Chapter Text

Nerris: LAST CALL TO JOIN MY DND GAME, BITCHES!

Nerris: I'm starting my prep tomorrow

Nerris: And going all throughout the night.

Nerris: We don't stop until daylight or until I've figured out the motivations of the final boss

Max: he's a dragon, how much more motivated can he be?

Nerris: spoilers!

Nerris: I tell you these things in confidence, Maxwell, say one more word and I will slit your throat

Max: my bad

Nerris: Also its a they/them dragon

Preston: God Max, you fucking transphobe

Max: I'm a monster

Preston: I swear to god I'm working on my character sheet I just got sooooooo sidetracked this week

Nerris: Join the all nighters club!

Max: Most of us already live there

Ered: I've never played before, but you have my interest peaked

Nerris: Join Ered I swear it's not just nerd stuff!!!

Preston: it is, it's the nerdiest of nerd stuff.

Ered: who else is playing?

Nerris: A few people from my dnd club at school, someone I know from self defence class, Max, Preston, Harrison, Dolph wants to chime in for a few sessions online, and Space Kid IF THEY EVER FINISH THEIR CHARACTER SHEET *COUGH COUGH*

Space Kid: im sorry im trying!!!

Space Kid: theres so much stuff i havent figured out yet

Space Kid: wharts the difference between a druid and a monk?

Space Kid: and i cant decide if i wantnt to be a male or female orc

Space Kid: itll effect the whole charscter design!

Nerris: You can be a genderfluid orc if you want! Or design a genderless version of them!

Nerris: I know I'm acting like a total DnD warlord, but please no one feel under any pressure! We're all gonna have fun

Space Kid: WAIT U CAN DO THAT

Space Kid: THE GENDER THING NOT THE FUN, I KNMEW ABOUT THE FUN

Space Kid: IM STUCK IN CAPLOCKS I THIJNK

Preston: sweetie, of course you can

Preston: Historically, dnd as a concept is gayer than the entirety of broadway

Space Kid: oh yay!

Space Kid: caplocks have been resolved too!

Preston: I'll call you tonight, we can figure out our characters together if you like

Space Kid: THANK YOU

Preston: I have a cousin who plays a lot of DnD, she can help us

Nerris: Max did you ask Neil if he wanted to join

Max: I did he's busy

Max: he's got some shit going on rn

Neil: I'm getting fucking emancipated.

Ered: oh shit for real?

Neil: No, but it's a long story.

Neil: I'll tell you all when I can.

Ered: aight, stay emotionally safe, king

Ered: screw it, I'm in

Ered: can i join that character call with you guys?

Preston: hell yeah lets gooooo

Nerris: anyone else?

Nurf: I wish i had the time, DnD is where you all play as monsters, isn't it? Whats everyone playing as

Space Kid: an orc! like lord of the rings

Preston: I'm a dragonborn bard, I've gone ALL OUT on her backstory, she's cunty as fuck and I love her!

Max: Kenku rouge

Max: I had to twist Nerris's arm so hard

Nerris: I don't incorporate monsters of the multiverse very often, but it was a fun challenge!

Nerris: Harrison is an elven barbarian because he loves to test my patience, and Dolph is a surprise!

Nerris: We've worked out the niches of what he's playing as and I'm sooo excited for those sessions

Dolph: I have perfected my spooky voice just for the occasion!

Max: oh god

Max: dolph ily but you scare me enough already

Dolph: Good :)

Nerris: This game is going to be hardcore guys!

Nerris: I have a soundtrack and everything!

Nerris: And not all of it is medieval covers of Chappell Roan songs

Max: is it too late to back out?

Nerris: I will end your life.

Max: Looking forward to it!!!

Chapter Text

Max: HELL HAS MADE ITS HOME ON EARTH PEOPLE

Max: MY FOSTER HOME GAVE ME A FUCKING ROOMATE

Max: going back to my parents home immediately, i'm not putting up with this

Neil: Max, I will kill you.

Nikki: damn whats he like

Nikki: she?

Max: he and he's a fucking prick

Max: his name's Edward and he woke me up at six am doing fucking pushups

Max: he's like a military kid or something. one of us is going to have to kill the other, i can't take much more of this

Preston: typical only child malarkey

Nurf: WAIT HOLY SHIT

Nurf: is he a ginger with terrible skin?

Max: yeah?

Max: don't fucking tell me

Nurf: i was in foster care for a month, like a year and a bit ago (long story, not for here), and i think he was my roommate too???

Max: HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE

Max: I KNOW YOU HAVE RESTRAINT BUT NOT THAT MUCH RESTRAINT

Nurf: interesting answer to that question

Nurf: very interesting...

Nikki: nurf i swtg

Harrison: oh my god you player 🤣

Nurf: It was a mutual no strings attached situation!

Nurf: we made out like twice!

Nurf: no significant relationship was developed!!!!

Max: JESUS CHRIST

Max: I DID NOT NEED THOSE IMAGES IN MY HEAD

Neil: Hold up, that means he's queer.

Neil: Or queer-adjacent.

Max: fuck off theres no way

Max: when we first met he tried to talk to me about which social workers he thought were hot

Nurf: oh yeah he was up to his neck in closet when i knew him

Nurf: what a shame, I probably ruined all other men for him

Max: whatever i am NOT kissing him

Max: I would genuinely rather move back in with my parents

Max: does explain why they shoved us in a room together tho

Max: queer kids gotta be all the same, right?

Nurf: say Max, we haven't seen a lot of each other recently, what say I come to yours for a hangout?

Harrison: lmaoooo get him

Max: im going to kill myself

Preston: boo

Ered: max put a dollar in the ideation jar

Max: i don't have a dollar!

Max: i had to spend all my allowance on earplugs!

Preston: oh yeah get yourself some noise cancelling headphones

Preston: i used to share a room with my brother and they are l i f e s a v i n g

Max: i've already been listening to death metal for hours to psych him him out

Max: but i might look into that as soon as i have allowance again

Dolph: I bought these when I first moved to Kiel, it is loud here.

Dolph: insert link

Max: oh reasonably priced 👀

Max: thanks

Nikki: good luck max, we're all rooting for you 💖

Nikki: and if things don't work out we can just kill him

Neil: Nikki's bloodlust returns?

Nikki: it's been a while since I took down the enemy of a friend

Nikki: im gettin antsy!

Neil: Can you kill my dad for me?

Nikki: D O N E

Harrison: yeah this feels on brand for us