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Keith is outside Lance’s door when it happens. A blood-curdling scream that makes him feel genuine fear for the first time in his life. “Meirda,” he hears from inside. “How did you get in my house?!” Keith can hear the fear by Lance’s shaky voice, followed by another scream and a crash.
Lance had invited Keith over for their 6 month anniversary to watch movies all day. He had promised to show Keith the ‘Movies That Made America’. “Trust me,” Lance had said. “These movies will remind you why you haven’t moved to...Europe or something.” Hunk put lots of snacks together, like popcorn with M&Ms, grapes, Rits and so much more, before leaving to spend the day with his girlfriend, Shay, which meant Lance was currently alone in the house. Or at least, he should be.
“Lance?!” Keith shouted from outside, rattling the door handle. Locked. From inside, he hears running footsteps. Closer to the door, then back further into the house. “Lance, come open the door!”
“Keith?!” Came the response from inside the house. “Oh, gracias a Dios. Stay there!” He commanded, Keith guessed to whoever was inside with him. There was a shriek right before a thump and the sound of glass shattering.
“LAN-! Fuck this.” He steps back and kicks the door with all of his strength. The door came off of its hinges and Keith rushed inside. “Lance? Where are you?”
Lance steps out of the bathroom door at the end of the hall, with only a towel around his waist and a cut on his forehead with blood quickly dripping down his face. He has a… spatula in one hand and a… whisk in the other. When Keith looks closer, he notices the cut isn’t Lance’s only injury. There’s a big purple bruise on Lance’s shoulder and he’s trying to keep weight off of his left leg.
“Lance?” Keith asks quietly, stepping forward. “Are you okay?”
Lance quickly shakes his head no and points into the bathroom with a shaky finger. “In there.”
Keith nods and motions Lance behind him. Once Lance is behind him, he cautiously walks to the bathroom. “Hello?” When there is no answer, he slowly walks in. When looking through the small bathroom reveals nothing, he turns to Lance with a questioning quirk of his eyebrow. “There’s nobody in there.” He points out, dropping his soft tone.
Lance runs behind him, going on his tippy toes to peer over his shoulder. “In the bathtub, on the ceiling.” Keith looks up, confused.
A spider. All of this...over a spider. A big one, maybe the size of his palm, but a spider nonetheless. “Lance,” Keith starts. “Why di- I’m confused.” He
“Please, just get rid of it.”
Keith sighs and walks up to the spider. He grabs a cup from inside the shower and puts it over the spider. When he feels a weight in the cup signaling the spider was no longer on the ceiling, he turned around. He put his hand over the cup to ensure the spider couldn’t jump out and walked towards the front of the house. Once he reached the porch, he bent down to drop off the spider, but then thought better of it. He took it farther, to the edge of the road and sent it off with a short, “Bye.”
He turns around and makes his way back to the house. The second he enters the house, Lance tackles him with a hug. “Oh thank you. My hero, once again.”
“Lance, I’m confused. How did this happen? Why are you covered in bruises?”
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Lance got home from practice a little later than expected. He now only had 30 minutes to take a shower, get ready, and set up the house. Whatever, he can just pull an Adventures In Babysitting. Everything will be okay. Or so he thought.
Five minutes later, and Lance is stepping into the shower. He’s just singing Single Ladies, minding his own business, when he gets the feeling that someone is watching him. He slowly peeks out of the side of the shower curtain, but see’s nobody.
Sighing in relief, Lance goes back to his performance. He’s in the middle of hitting the high notes in Emotions when he sees it. A freaking spider. A demon. Not even a normal demon, but Satan’s Spawn himself. It’s huge and hairy and going to kill him. His high note quickly turns into a scream and he slips in his attempt to run.
He tries to grab the curtain to catch himself, but it doesn’t work. “Mierda!” He shouts as he falls onto his shoulder, twisting his leg, and the pole and curtain fall over his head. “How did you get in my house?!” The Devil takes a couple of steps closer to him, and he screams again, scrambling out of the shower. Persevering, Lance wraps a towel around himself and runs for weapons.
Lance runs to the kitchen, desperate for protection. Quickly, he snatches the only two things he can think of that might save him from this hell. Running back into the bathroom, he realizes The Monster moved to a spot Lance can’t see. Maybe he should just burn down the house. Hunk will understand. Allura and Pidge, however... “Lance!” He hears from outside. “Come open the door!”
“Keith?!” Lance shouts, desperate. “Oh, gracias a Dios.” His savior, once again. “Stay there!” He demands to the evil being, wherever it may be.
He backs up out of the bathroom, ready to let Keith in, but he’s stopped in his tracks when the spider JUMPS from the FAUCET to the CEILING! As Lance squawks and falls back from the shock, he bumps into a table. Without thinking, he grabs the vase from the table and chucks it at the spider. It misses. By a lot. So much, that the glass shards bounce back to him. Which is why Lance is a dancer and not a football player.
“LAN-!” Keith shouts, cutting himself off. Lance hears a mumble before a loud crash. “Lance? Where are you?” He hears. He picks himself up off the ground, grabbing his weapons from the bathroom. He steps out of the bathroom and sees Keith. Looking pretty fine. He has a nice shirt that makes his muscles pop. But not like gross big muscles. Also, he’s definitely checking Lance ou- BIGGER PROBLEMS!
“Lance? Are you okay?” Keith whispers, taking a step forward.
And as much as Lance would like to calm this pretty man down, he can’t deny they’re both in danger. So he shakes his head and points to the bathroom. “In there.”
Keith gets a determined look on his face and motions Lance behind him. Lance watches Keith walk into the bathroom and hears him talk. Like he thinks the Devil will answer. “There’s nobody in there,” Keith says.
Lance runs behind him, having to stand on his tippy toes to see over his shoulder. He likes taller m-. More important matters. “In the bathtub, on the ceiling.” Keith looks up and lets out a loud sigh.
He runs a palm over his face. “Lance. Why di- I’m confused.”
“Please, just get rid of it.” He shouldn’t have to point out the obvious.
Keith walks to the crime scene and grabs a cup. The cup that Lance uses to rinse out his niece and nephew’s hair when they come over and take showers. Well if the house can’t burn, the cup will. Keith removes the evil from the house. Lance will still have to bring sage around the house to destroy the fucker's bad vibes.
When Keith reenters the house, Lance hugs him. “Oh thank you. My hero, once again.”
“Lance, I’m confused. How did this happen? Why are you covered in bruises?”
“Sit down, and before we watch the movies, I will tell you of the terrible events that transer-. Trainsp-.”
“Transpired.” Keith offers kindly, like the marvelous gentleman he is.
“Si. That transpired here today.”
As he retells the event, he gets so caught up in the narrative that he doesn't notice the soft smile Keith gives him.