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Chapter Text

It was six months after the battle of New York, when JARVIS alerted Clara Barton that the Avengers were needed in the living room. The archer crawled out of bed and stretched her arms above her head. She didn't bother to hurry; Jarvis had assured her that it wasn't a battle. She shoved her feet into the fuzzy purple slippers Natasha had given her for her last birthday and shuffled into the hallway. She didn't care that she was only wearing a pair of sleep pants and one of Phil's old army ranger t-shirts that was too big on her. While she had worn his shirts before to sleep in, after Loki and Phil's death she wore one every night. It was the closet she'd ever get to sleeping with his arms curled around her again. She hadn't slept much in that time though, and she knew she looked horrible, with dark circles under her eyes, but she didn't care. She had lost the man that she loved, that was the only thing that mattered.

When she stepped off the elevator and into the living room of the tower, she noticed Nick Fury standing in the middle of the room, looking like he was being sent to his death; he was surrounded by the other Avengers, all glaring at him. Bree even looked like she was barely holding onto her control. Before she could question what was going on, a figure stood up slowly from the couch, and Clara felt like her entire world had been flipped on its axis. Phil Coulson was standing in the living room, leaning on a cane, and wearing the crappy paper Pyjamas S.H.I.E.L.D medical gave out. He wasn't clean shaven, Phil hated having facial hair, and his hair was definitely in need of a through wash, but he was there. Clara looked from the man she had married four years ago to where the others and Fury stood and raised her eyebrow, waiting for the explanation.

"Clara" Phil said his voice soft and she looked back at him, trying to keep her emotions hidden. "Fury has something he needs to explain" he added, looking pointedly at the director of S.H.E.I.L.D.

"Coulson's death was meant to unite the Avengers, I didn't lie, he had died. They managed to save him, and the Avengers had a reason to work together. I was going to come clean after the battle, but I needed Phil elsewhere. I figured it would just be easier to let him remain dead to you and the others" Fury explained.

"And you were just going to go along with that? You could have just told me if you didn't want me instead of letting me think you were dead!" Clara yelled.

"I only just woke up two days ago, and Fury explained it to me. The staff wouldn't let me go, I finally got them to agree to let me leave two hours ago, and I forced Fury into coming here and telling the truth. How could you think I wouldn't want you Clara?" Phil asked.

Clara had been mostly numb for the last several months, and now all of the built up emotions came pouring out, and before she could stop it, she was crying. Phil was moving towards her. She met him halfway, his arms wrapping around her and his nose and mouth pressed into her short hair. Phil didn't say anything, just let her cry out her built up anger and grief over his death into his chest.

"I thought you were dead, I missed you so much, and I thought you were dead. I didn't know how to live without you. I wanted you there with me so badly, everyone looked at me like they were afraid of me, and I just wanted you. You never looked at me like that, even when I held a gun to your head when we first met, you were never afraid of me" she sobbed.

"I'm so sorry Clara, I never meant to hurt you so badly" Phil told her, holding her close to him. Clara felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Natasha standing beside her, she moved slightly to the side, letting the red headed woman hug Phil as well. Natasha let go quickly, she had never been one for physical contact, but she cared for Phil too. Phil and Clara was the closest thing she had ever had to a family.

When Clara pulled away from her husband, Fury was still standing in the same spot, and she noticed for the first time that there was what appeared to be finger shaped bruises appearing on his neck, under the collar of his coat. Clara knew immediately who had put them there, Natasha was very protective of the few people she cared about. Clara smirked a little at the fact that Steve was giving Fury his disappointed look, the one that was usually turned on Tony. She turned back to Phil when she felt him stumble slightly behind her. She quickly grabbed his arm and led him to the couch, forcing him to sit down.

"It's late. Agent Coulson should rest, and he and Clara probably have a lot to talk about. We should all go to bed. Fury you can show yourself out" Bree said, dragging Tony along behind her when the man opened his mouth to argue. Clara really liked Bree, she was the only person Clara had ever seen Tony take orders from and not complain about it. And she was one of the first people to not be afraid of her other then Natasha for the first month or so she was at the tower. Bree had quickly become a friend, and Clara trusted her, which was a big deal because Clara trusted so few people. Clara really only trusted Phil and Natasha, everyone else had always been kept at arms length. But Bree was a good person, and she had been so nice to Clara the last six months.

"You can sleep in my room. Would you rather crash on the couch or the bed?" Clara asked, turning back to her husband when everyone was gone.

"Whichever you'd prefer is fine with me" Phil replied, allowing her to help him stand from the couch.

"Let's go to bed" Clara said, smiling and leading Phil to the apartment sized room Tony had given her.

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When Clara woke up the next morning, she doesn't remember what happened for a few seconds, and when she does, she can feel the tears prick at her eyes. It's not the first dream she had where Phil was alive, and she's done turning to look only to have her heart break all over again. Phil was dead and he wasn't coming back, she had to accept that. She buried her head into her pillow and cried, shoulders shaking as she sobbed. A hand touched her shoulder, at first she thought it was Natasha, until she realised the hand was too big to belong to the other woman, and Clara tensed, fingers reaching for the gun she kept under her pillow.

"Clara? Are you okay?" a familiar voice asked, and Clara jumped up quickly knocking the hand away from her shoulder. Phil was sitting on the other side of the bed, staring at her in concern. Clara hugged him, nearly knocking him over as she did so. Phil hugged her back, not caring that her knees were pressing into his leg uncomfortably, just happy to hold his wife in his arms.

"I thought it was a dream" Clara told him when she pulled back. Phil smiled at her, wiping the tears on her cheeks away with his thumbs.

"I'm here, and I'm never leaving you like that again" Phil promised.

"We should get up. You need a shower, and the others will probably be up soon" Clara said.

"I can't stand very well right now" Phil told her.

"Then you can sit down, I'll help you" Clara replied, helping Phil to stand from the bed and leading him to the bathroom. "Do you need help undressing?" she asked as she turned the water in the shower on.

"I can manage" Phil replied, shaking his head.

"I'll go get you some clothes while you get ready then. I'll be back in a minute" Clara said.

Phil was sitting on the shower floor by the time Clara came back, holding some clothes and a towel draped over her arm. "I got you sweat pants and a t-shirt, is that okay?" Clara asked, Phil nodded, watching as she placed the bundle on the sink.

"I threw out your soap and stuff, you can use mine, or I can go ask Steve if you can borrow his if you want" Clara said.

"Yours is fine" Phil replied, and Clara nodded grabbing her shampoo, and body wash off the shelf in the shower.

"I'm gonna start with your hair, close your eyes so I don't get any shampoo in them" Clara told him, pouring some of the shampoo into her hand. Clara's hands were gentle as she rubbed the shampoo into his hair. It wasn't the first time they had to help each other bathe, and with their jobs, it probably wouldn't be the last.

"Tilt your head back so I can rinse your hair out" Clara told him, and Phil did as he was instructed. Relaxing as his wife’s sure fingers ran through his hair, as she rinsed the shampoo out.

After his shower, Phil sat on the closed toilet seat lid wrapped in the towel as Clara dug through a basket on her shelf looking for an extra toothbrush.

"Found it. I knew I had an extra one" she smiled, holding a package with a single toothbrush in it up so he could see. "I need to get a shower too, I can wait until you're done though" Clara said, placing the toothbrush on the sink.

"It's fine, you can shower. I'm your husband, I've seen you naked before, I've seen you in the shower before too" Phil said, grabbing the shirt off the top of the pile on the sink. Clara smiled at him, turning the shower back on.

"I need to shave" Phil said once he was dressed, and his teeth were brushed.

"I threw that stuff out too. You can use mine if you want though, I have some disposable razors in one of the baskets on the shelf, and the shaving cream is on the shelf too" Clara said, poking her head out of the corner of the shower curtain, green eyes squinted to avoid getting the soap from her hair in them.

"Can you help when you're done? I don't think my legs are going to support me much longer" Phil said, sitting back down on the closed lid of the toilet.

"Yeah, just give me a few minutes to finish okay?" Clara said.

When Clara was finished she wrapped a towel around her and padded over to the shelf, digging through the baskets until she found the bag of disposable razors, and grabbed the shaving cream as well, putting both on the sink. She took some of the shaving cream and smeared it on Phil's face, making sure that she got under his chin as well. Phil tilted his head up when she grabbed the razor off the sink and removed the cap. Clara had had to help him shave before when he had broken his wrist on a mission once, so he knew he could trust her. Once she was done, Clara wiped the excess shaving cream off with the towel Phil had used before throwing it into the hamper.

"I just need to get dressed and then we can go get breakfast" Clara told him, padding into her bedroom, as Phil went to wait for her in the living room.

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It was about a week after Phil's return when Thor returned from Asgard. Clara had been so happy to have her husband back she hadn't thought of how to explain it to Thor. He had been kind to her when he had returned from taking Loki back to face his punishment, and had left again a week before Phil had shown up with Fury in tow. Thor had apologised profusely for her loss that his brother had caused when he had found out that Phil had been her husband. He'd offered to bring her back the head of some creature she couldn't even begin to pronounce the name of out of penance for what his brother had done, several times. Clara had just smiled at him sadly and told him it wasn't necessary, that he had nothing to feel sorry about because it wasn't his fault. Thor had sat up with her some nights and talked non stop about Asgard as though he knew she needed the distraction. He had hugged her and called her a strong warrior before he had left the second time and honestly Clara missed him. Thor had become a friend, just like all of the Avengers had in the six months Phil was dead.

Phil wasn't in the room when Thor showed up; he had left to use the restroom. The Avengers were watching a movie, Clara trying to catch popcorn thrown at her by Natasha and Tony in her mouth, Bree was watching Tony with a small smile on her face, and Steve was shaking his head at them all. The lights and the TV flickered while a clap of thunder sounded outside the tower, and then Thor was standing in the room, grinning at them from ear to ear, mjolnir grasped in his hand by his side.

"My friends, it is wonderful to see you again" Thor said loudly, never one to be quiet. Clara smiled right back and stood up, wrapping her arms around the Asgardian the best she could. Thor hugged her back, lifting her foot completely off the ground, and hugging her a little too tight.

"I have missed you lady hawk" Thor told her, and Clara smiled at the name Thor had taken to calling her.

"Missed you too big guy" Clara replied when Thor had set her back on her feet. "I have something to tell you" Clara said, smiling.

"Indeed? What is it?" Thor asked, setting mjolnir on the floor. Before Clara could say anything Phil had wondered back into the room, cane not making a sound on the carpeted floor. Thor's eyes widened and his mouth dropped a little in surprise before he looked at Clara.

"Fury lied to us. Phil was alive the entire time; he was just in a coma. When he woke up, Fury told him he wasn't going to tell us, he wanted Phil to lead his own team, but Phil forced him into coming here and telling us the truth" Clara explained, her anger at the lie resurfacing once again.

"It is wonderful to see that you have survived Son of Coul" Thor smiled, walking to where Phil stood so that he could hug the man.

"Careful Thor, he's still healing" Clara said, and Thor let him go, still smiling.

"We were watching a movie, wanna join us?" Clara asked, taking her seat beside Phil once again, leaning into his side, her head resting on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around her waist. Thor smiled and sat in the empty seat beside her. Clara smiled back at him, poking him in the side with her foot before focusing her eyes on the TV.

By time the second movie they watched was over, Clara and Bree were both asleep. Clara was curled up in her seat, head resting on Phil's lap. And Bree was stretched out on the couch she had been sitting on with Steve and Tony. Steve had went to bed in the middle of the movie though so only Tony and Bree were left. Bree had her head on the mans lap but Tony was half asleep and didn't seem too concerned with waking Bree up and going to bed. Natasha stood up and stretched her muscles before going to bed herself. Phil gently shook Clara to wake her up, and Thor watched the couple from his own seat.

"I am happy that you lived my friend. The lady hawk had been very sad the last I saw her, and I could offer her no comfort" Thor said.

"I know, I never would have let her go through that if I had known she thought I was dead" Phil replied, smiling and shacking Clara when she made a noise in her sleep. Clara finally woke up and Phil led her off to bed, leaving Thor on the couch.

Chapter Text

It was a month after he woke up from his coma, when Phil's family decided to surprise them with a visit, to make sure Phil was really okay. Phil had talked to them of course, and assured them that everything was fine, and promised to visit once he was cleared to fly. But instead Phil had been woken up early in the morning by his cell phone ringing on the nightstand. Clara made a noise in her sleep, rolled over and put her pillow over her head, mumbling at him to make it shut up. Phil smiled at his wife's back and grabbed his phone checking to see who was calling.

"Hello? Mom, is everything alright?" Phil asked into the phone, eyebrows furrowed in worry. His mom never called him this early unless something was wrong.

"Everything’s fine honey, I'm only calling to let you know we're coming up to see you and Clara for awhile" his mother replied.

"Mom, there’s no need to do that. Clara and I are going to go down there when the doctor says I'm cleared to fly" Phil assured her. His mother was terrified of flying, and he didn't want her to fly just to see him.

"We've already decided. We're leaving for the airport in a few hours, we'll land at around eleven thirty this morning in your time. Our flights at six, we decided to leave early so we can spend extra time with you. We're staying for a week" she replied.

"Mom, we don't have anything ready for you, you can't just spring this on us on short notice" Phil groaned.

"Oh, it's not that bad Phil. We'll see you soon, love you" his mom said.

"Wait, who’s we?" Phil asked.

"Me, your sisters, and your brother, who do you think?" his mother replied, and Phil groaned again. "Your sisters rushing me, she says I'm wasting my minutes. Don't know why it matters to her, their mine, and it's not even like she pays for them. I have to go now, I love you. Give Clara my love, bye" she said before she hung up. Phil groaned and looked at the clock; it was four in the morning, so it was about one in the morning in Portland. His mother always went to bed late, and woke up early, so it wasn't a surprise. Phil lay back down, and rolled over carefully so he could wrap an arm around Clara, and buried his nose into the hair on the back of her head.

XXX

Phil woke up at seven that morning, his forehead resting against the back of Clara's head, and his arm wrapped protectively around her middle, and her fingers laced with his own. Phil smiled, and placed soft kisses to the back of her neck.

"I'm sleeping" Clara said, the smile in her voice unmistakable.

"You’re not anymore. It's time to get up anyway" Phil retorted.

"Who called last night?" Clara asked, rolling onto her back and stretching as she sat up.

"My mom, she wanted to let me know that they’re surprising us by coming here" Phil replied.

"Who’s they?" Clara asked, one eyebrow raised.

"My mom, both of my sisters, and my brother" Phil replied, watching as Clara groaned and fell back on the bed.

"Both of your sisters?" Clara asked.

"Maybe it'll be okay" Phil told her.

"She hates me Phil" Clara reminded him.

"I know. They'll be here in a few hours though so there’s nothing we can do" Phil told her.

XXX

A few hours later and Phil and Clara was heading to the airport, Phil in the passenger seat, and Clara behind the wheel of one of Tony's cars. Tony had let them use one of his many cars because Phil's car wasn't big enough to fit all of them.

"Are you okay?" Phil asked breaking the silence that had settled in the car since they had first pulled out of the parking lot at the tower.

"I'm fine, just not looking foreword to spending a week dealing with your sister" Clara replied.

"I know. Hopefully she won't say anything" Phil said.

"You and I both know that's too much to hope for" Clara retorted.

"I'll ask mom to talk to her" Phil assured her, squeezing her knee gently, and Clara smiled at him, though he could tell by the look in her green eyes she didn't believe that would help.

XXX

When they made it to the baggage claim area in the airport, Phil's family was already there. Phil's mother sitting on a bench and filling out a crossword. Phil's youngest sister was looking around for them, and smiled widely when she saw them. His oldest sister smiled as well until she noticed Clara following behind him. And his bother wasn't paying attention to anything, as was usual for the man.

"Phillip, oh it's good to see you again" His mother said, grabbing him into a hug as soon as he was close enough.

"You too mom" Phil smiled.

"Clara, I forgot how pretty you were. You two really should visit more" she said, hugging Clara as well.

"Maybe we can visit soon" Clara told her, smiling slightly at the woman that looked exactly like an older female version of her husband.

"I see you still don't know what makeup is Clara. You'd think now that you’re a 'superhero' and in the public eye you'd make more effort to actually look like a lady instead of a teenage boy" Phil's oldest sister said, looking over Clara's black t-shirt, and baggy camo pants, and boots with disdain.

"I see you still don't know what manners are Hannah" Clara replied, glaring at the older woman.

"That's enough, both of you. We're here to see Phil, who nearly died not long ago, not to snipe at each other" Phil's mother cut in, face set in the no nonsense mother face she'd perfected long ago.

"Sorry mom" Hannah said, though Phil knew from her voice she didn't mean it. It was going to be a very long week. Phil grabbed Clara's hand on the way out to the car, anytime after seeing Hannah Clara's old insecurities made themselves known once again. Phil knew that when they were gone, he'd have to reassure Clara that he loved her, and that she deserved him. Hannah had hated Clara from the moment she had first seen Clara, and Phil still didn't know why.

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Phil's family had been there for two days, when Hannah had found Clara working out in the gym when she had been wondering around. Tony hadn't blocked access to any floor, but the labs and his personal floor where his bedroom was, so it wasn't a surprise one of Phil's family members found the gym. And since Clara worked out everyday, it wasn't a surprise they ran across her in the middle of a workout. Clara was glad though that it wasn't Phil's brother at least, Clara wore yoga pants and a sports bra if she was working out alone and Chris had a habit of staring at her. It made both Phil and Clara uncomfortable, it also made Phil mad. Phil wasn't really the jealous type, he really didn't get jealous much, but he did sometimes.

Clara was in the middle of a flip when she realized that Hannah was standing in the doorway, watching her. Clara's workouts were just the acrobatic moves she had learned in the circus, and Hannah wasn't aware of her past.

"Is there something you need?" Clara asked breathing slightly fast from her workout.

"No. So is this how you workout every day?" Hannah asked.

"If I'm not sparring with Natasha, it keeps my skills sharp" Clara replied, wondering where Hannah was going with this.

"People usually use workouts to keep fit, your workout doesn't seem to be doing its job anymore. You were a lot skinnier when I saw you last. I know some people stop caring about their looks when they get married, but your looks is the only thing you have going for you to keep Phil. I mean you’re not smart, and you’re not rich, so all you have is your looks, and even then you’re not anything special. I'd just be careful to keep my looks if I were you" Hannah told her, before turning on her heel and leaving. Once she was gone, Clara looked down at her stomach, she gained a few pounds since she'd last saw Hannah a year ago, but she hadn't thought it was that noticeable. Phil hadn't said anything, but Phil wasn't the type of guy to say that. Hannah had a point though, without her looks, she didn't have anything to keep Phil from losing interest. Clara sighed, and went back to her workout; it was probably a good idea to go on a diet anyway.

XXX

Clara found Bree in her lab later, and silently slipped inside. She needed somebody to talk to, and Natasha had left earlier that day on a mission, so Bree was her only option. Bree was a beautiful woman, certainly beautiful enough to catch Tony's attention, not that the woman noticed.

"Hey, Bree" Clara said, pulling the scientist’s attention away from her work.

"What do you need Clara?" Bree asked, wiping her glasses off on the bottom of her shirt, and tucking her curly hair behind her ears.

"Can I ask you something? Girl to girl?" Clara asked awkwardly, Clara was never one to have these types of conversations.

"Of course, what do you want to talk about?" Bree asked, moving from behind her desk and leading Clara over to a couch that Tony had put in the lab after her found Bree asleep at her desk while she was waiting for results on an experiment.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" Clara asked, and Bree blinked confused.

"I think you're a very pretty woman" Bree told her honestly.

"Do you think Phil's still interested in me?" Clara asked.

"I can't answer that. I don't know what your relationship was like before the battle and his injury; it really depends on what you think. Do you think he has?" Bree asked.

"I don't know. Phil's a nice guy, he's not really one to tell you that stuff" Clara replied.

"You’re his wife; you know him better then anyone. If you think he might have though, you should talk to him about it, not me" Bree told her.

"Phil's the only guy I've ever really loved. I never trusted them, but Phil was different, from the moment I met him he didn't act like any man I'd ever met before. I held a gun to his head, but he wasn't afraid, he'd just pointed his own gun at my head. He never gave up hope on me, all of my other handlers before Phil; they all wrote reports on my attitude, said I didn't follow orders, refused to work with me. Phil was the only handler left who agreed to work with me, and he trusted me to know what I was doing instead of ordering me to follow stupid orders that would get people killed. He saved my life, more then once really, but one time I was on a mission, one of the few that he wasn't in charge of. The entire thing went to hell, turned out there was mole, I got captured, and the agent in charge, didn't even try to get me out. He said I was as good as dead already, and got himself and what few people remained out. When they got back to HQ and I wasn't there, Sitwell said Phil flipped his shit. Yelled at the guy for abandoning me, and went out to get me back himself, even though I'd been in custody for three days, and everyone told him I was probably already dead. When he found me, I was barely alive, I remember waking up to him telling me that it was alright, and that he was there to save me. That's when I realized I was in love with him, it took me another two years to actually admit it though. Natasha was ready to punch both of us by the time we got together. I don't want to lose him, not again" Clara said, voice breaking.

"I really think you need to talk to him about that, I can't say anything for him" Bree told her.

XXX

"Clara, are you alright?" Phil asked later that night when he found his wife, staring down at the scale she was standing on.

"I'm fine, why?" Clara asked.

"Because you've been staring at the scale for five minutes, and I haven't seen you pretty much all day" Phil replied.

"Sorry, I was busy" Clara said, stepping off the scale.

"Wanna watch Super nanny with me?" Phil asked.

"Not tonight, I'm going to bed. Maybe tomorrow okay?" Clara asked.

"Alright, goodnight. I love you" Phil said.

"Night, love you too" Clara replied walking towards the bedroom. Phil watched as his wife left, staring after her in concern. Phil sighed, Clara would tell him what was wrong when she was ready, and until then there was no use asking her, he knew that.

Once she was in the bedroom, Clara climbed into bed under the covers and closed her eyes, letting her mind wonder to the past. She thought of the way Phil had treated her then, and how he treated her now, trying to figure out if it had changed.

"I don't want to lose him" she sighed before she fell into a fitful sleep.

Chapter Text

Contrary to what a lot of people thought, Clara wasn't as strong as she acted. She had insecurities just like everyone else. She'd grown up hearing every single one of her faults screamed at her by everyone around her. Her father had called her worthless for as long as she could remember. The people at the orphanage said she wasn't pretty enough, good enough, smart enough to be adopted. The people looking to adopt said she was weird, and dirty, not what anybody wanted in a little girl. Barney had told her she wasn't smart or pretty enough to be anything else but a circus act. She'd been told she wasn't good for anything but a quick roll in the hay, or shooting at a target. Phil had been the first person to think she was worth more then just shooting a target, the first man to call her beautiful and mean it. Sitwell once told her that Phil looked at her like she'd hung the moon, and it made him want to be sick because the dopey look Phil got when she smiled at him, or laughed at something Phil had said. Phil had torn down her walls, had wormed his way into her heart and under her skin. She'd promised herself she wouldn't fall for Phil a long time ago, and she had without even realizing it. Phil was easy to fall in love with, and Clara wasn't the only person who could attest to that. Despite what Phil would tell you, female and a few male agents at SHIELD, especially the junior ones would practically throw themselves at him. Phil didn't believe it though, said he was too plain. Hill had admitted once that if she hadn't known Phil was completely and hopelessly in love with Clara, she would have asked him out. Phil could have his choice out of women who were smarter then Clara, prettier too, so why had he chosen her?

Clara stared at her reflection and asked herself that question for the first time in years. Whatever he had seen in her, did he still see it? Was it enough to keep him from leaving her? Did he even still want her?

"Clara? Are you okay?" Phil called through the closed door to the bathroom.

"I'm fine, just getting ready to get in the shower. I'll see you when I'm done" Clara replied.

"Mom wanted to go out for breakfast; do you want us to wait for you?" Phil asked.

"No, thank you though. You go enjoy spending time with your family, I'll see you later" Clara told him.

"Are you sure? Aren't you hungry?" Phil asked.

"Not really" Clara said.

"Do you want me to bring you something back? We're going to that place that has the chocolate chip pancakes you like" Phil asked.

"No thanks, not really in the mood for them" Clara replied.

"Alright, I'll see you later. I love you" Phil said.

"Have fun, love you too" Clara responded, turning on the water to the shower and removing her hearing aids despite it not being necessary. She just wanted to ignore everything for a little while.

XXX

Clara was in the middle of practice, when JARVIS announced that the Avengers were needed for a mission. Clara released the shot she had notched, before hitting the button to collapse her bow and putting it back in it's case before rushing from the shooting range and towards the elevator.

The other Avengers were already gathered in the living room by the time Clara got there, carrying her quiver in one hand and her bow in the other.

"Tony and Thor, you two fly ahead, we'll meet you there. Clara I need you to pilot" Steve ordered as soon as he saw her.

"Come on Fabio, time to go" Tony said, moving towards the doors to the launch pad before taking off into the sky.

"My name is not Fabio" Thor said confused, as he made his way over to the pad as well.

"I'll explain later big guy" Clara assured him before he flew off as well.

"Let's move out" Steve said, Clara and Bree following behind him. Clara felt a hand grab her wrist and looked back at Phil.

"Be safe, come back to me" Phil told her quickly before he let go of her.

"I will" Clara promised, running to catch up with Bree and Steve.

XXX

The battle had been exhausting, not to mention dangerous. Tony had been knocked out of the sky, by one of the giant squids that had been taking over the city. If it hadn't been for the Hulk catching him, Tony would have crashed into the ground. After the battle was over though, the Hulk refused to allow Bree to come back out, and the Avengers were currently trying to talk her into it.

"Hulk, we need Bree now, the battles over" Steve said, voice soft and gentle like her was speaking to a small child. They were drawing a crowd, and reporters were already filming again. Hulk only shook her head in reply.

"Why won't you let Bree out Jolly Green?" Tony asked.

"Hulk protect Tin man" she replied.

"You did, you caught me. But I don't need you to protect me anymore, I'm fine" Tony assured her.

"Hulk protect" Hulk insisted.

"You did, now we need Bree" Steve said.

"Tiny Bree no protect Tin man, Hulk protect. Bree scared, no want to lose Tin man" Hulk said.

"Why is she scared she'll lose me? I'm fine" Tony assured her.

"Bree love Tin man, Hulk love Tin man, protect" Hulk retorted, and Tony looked ready to say something before his brain processed what was actually said, and his mouth dropped. Clara rolled her eyes; Tony was blind not to see how Bree felt about him.

"We'll protect Tony for you, and if you’er needed, Bree will let you out, she won't let anything happen to Tony, you know that" Clara said gently.

"Protect Tin man?" Hulk asked.

"We'll protect him, I promise. You just need to let Bree out now okay?" Clara asked, the Hulk nodded and started to shrink down into Bree again. Thor offered his cape once Bree was back to normal and the woman accepted it, wrapping it around herself.

"Let's get back to the tower now" Clara said, helping the other woman to stand before they made their way back towards the empty lot where they had parked.

Chapter Text

When Clara walked into the rooms she was now sharing with her husband, Phil was sitting on the couch, watching TV. Phil smiled when he saw her, Clara just ignored him and walked towards the bedroom, she just wanted to be alone.

"Clara?" Phil asked, knocking on the wooden door she had closed behind her.

"Go away" Clara said, curling up on top of the bed.

"Clara, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Phil asked voice full of worry.

"Leave me alone, you don't have to stay. I don't need you" Clara told him, voice breaking. She wasn't able to hold back from crying anymore.

"Clara? I'm coming in" Phil told her.

"Why do you care? Just leave" Clara said, burying her face into a pillow.

"What's wrong? Clara? Baby tell me what's wrong" Phil said, kneeling on the bed, hand stroking Clara's arm softly.

"You only married me because you felt sorry for me because I'm deaf, but I don't need your pity Phil. I was so stupid to actually think you really loved me, why would you love me? Why would anyone love me? I'm just the stupid ex Carney!" Clara yelled. Phil was taken aback; he had no idea why she would think that.

"Why would you think that?" Phil asked.

"Hannah told me" Clara replied and Phil's anger escalated, Hannah had gone too far.

"That's not true, I love you, and you know I love you. Has she said anything else to you?" Phil asked.

"What does it matter?" Clara asked.

"Because it does, because she's upset you. Has she said anything else?" Phil asked.

"Of course she has, she always does" Clara retorted.

"Like what?" Phil prompted.

"I'm only on the Avengers because I'm your wife. You only chose me because you were married to me, and without you I'm not good enough to be on the team, among other things" Clara replied.

"Later, you’re going to tell me what those were, but right now I have to go yell at my sister. When I get back, I'm going to show you I love you. I'm going to tell you I love you again and again until you believe me" Phil told her before standing up and leaving the room.

XXX

Phil found Hannah in the living room, Steve, Bree, Tony, and his mother were there as well, but that didn't deter him. Hannah had gone too far, and he wasn't going to let her get away with upsetting Clara and making her think he only married her because he felt sorry for her. Phil knew Hannah didn't like Clara, but that was no excuse to say something like that.

"Hannah" he called and Hannah looked back at him, eyebrow raised.

"What?" Hannah asked.

"I need to talk to you now" Phil told her.

"I'm watching a movie right now, can we talk later?" She asked.

"It's about what you said to Clara" Phil replied.

"I don't know what you’re talking about, I didn't say anything to her" Hannah told him, only making Phil angrier.

"I was trying to do this in private, but right now I honestly don't care whether everyone hears or not. Clara is in bed crying right now because of what you said to her, and you’re telling me you didn't say anything to her? You told her I only married her because I felt sorry for her because she's deaf, and she believed you!" Phil said, voice raised in anger. Phil's mother covered her mouth with her hands and stared at Hannah. Tony's eyes narrowed at the woman, and Bree looked angry, her eyes already starting to show flecks of green.

"I didn't say anything like that, she lied to you. I'm your sister Phil, you know me. Would I really say something like that?" Hannah asked, trying to look innocent.

"What I know is that you've never liked Clara, and that anytime after you visit us she is suddenly very insecure. It took me forever to get Clara to believe that I love her, to believe that she deserved me, and in a matter of hours or days you have her right back to the way she was! What I know is that my wife told me that you told her that was the only reason I married her was because I felt sorry for her and that the only reason she's on the Avengers is because she's my wife! You went too far Hannah" Phil said.

"Why would I say that? She's a liar Phil" Hannah argued.

"Clara wouldn't lie about something like that" Bree said, standing up.

"What would you know? I hardly see you around" Hannah retorted.

"Clara is my friend; I know what she's like" Bree told her.

"Obviously you don't. Clara is a liar, or you’re just and idiot" Hannah said. Before anyone knew what was happening, Bree had punched her, and Hannah was sprawled on the floor.

"I don't like when people are mean to my friends, it makes me angry" Bree told her, looking like she was seconds away from losing control, her eyes having gone completely green.

"I want you out of my tower. Phil's sister or not, your not welcome here ever again" Tony told her, leading Bree away and trying to calm her down.

"Fine. Mom let’s go" Hannah said, standing up, hand on her cheek.

"I'm not leaving. I came to see my son, and you brought this on yourself. I'm not going to defend you on this, you hurt Clara, and in doing so you hurt your brother. You've always been so rude to that poor girl, and I've tried everything I possibly could to get you to be nice to her, and it's never worked. Well I'm done, if you won't learn to be nice, you'll face the consequences of your actions" Phil's mother told her.

"One of his friends just punched me" Hannah argued.

"That was a consequence to your actions" she told her.

"Fine" Hannah huffed before leaving the room and heading to get her stuff.

"Sorry for interrupting the movie" Phil apologized.

"Don't be, she needed to hear that. Do you want to watch the rest with us?" his mother asked.

"No thank you. I'm going to go tell my wife I love her" Phil said, his mother smiled at him.

"That's a good idea" she said, watching as her son left the room. She only hoped Clara would believe him, and that she would be okay.

Chapter Text

Phil was sitting on the couch with Clara in their rooms, his arms wrapped around her. It had been a week since Phil had confronted his sister and Hannah had left. Clara still doubted that he really loved her though; it had taken him days to even touch her without Clara shying away from it. Phil had always known about Clara's insecurities. They had been a big obstacle to overcome in the beginning of their relationship, but Phil always thought it was worth it.

Phil's phone rang from its place on the stand beside him, and he reached over to grab it and check who was calling. He hit the ignore button as soon as he saw Hannah's picture and name on the screen. She had been calling him for the past four days, and when he didn't answer after the first day, she began texting as well. Each text and voice mail was the same, Hannah telling him how sorry she was for upsetting him. Or her telling him to stop being so petty and answer her calls. Phil was still angry with Hannah for what she had done, and that anger only grew with everything Clara told him Hannah had said to her. Phil wasn't alone in his anger, Natasha had gotten home two days after Hannah left, and Phil had had to stop the woman from calling and threatening Hannah for hurting Clara. Natasha warned him though that if Hannah ever said something like that to Clara again, she'd do a lot worse then punch her. Phil was glad that Clara had friends that were so protective of her.

"Hannah?" Clara asked, not turning away from the documentary on archery she was watching.

"Yes, she'll probably text me in five minutes again" Phil replied.

"Maybe you should call her back. What if it's important, or about your mom?" Clara asked.

"Chris and Pauline know I'm not speaking to her, if it was important, or about mom, they would call and tell me" Phil replied.

"I'm not worth not talking to Hannah, I know how close your family is" Clara told him.

"You are worth that and more. I love you Clara, I would do anything if it meant you were happy. Nothing is more important to me then making you happy" Phil assured her.

"You do make me happy, so much" Clara said, and Phil smiled.

"You make me happy too" Phil agreed.

"What did I ever do to get to have you? To deserve you?" Clara asked.

"You deserve every happiness in the world Clara, you didn't do anything to deserve me, and you don't have to. I'm the one that should be asking what I did to deserve you. What a beautiful young woman like you saw in an old army ranger turned SHEILD agent, I’ll never know." Phil replied.

"Have you seen what you look like in your suits? How could I not fall in love with you?" Clara said, and Phil chuckled, kissing the top of her head in response.

"Did Bree actually punch Hannah?" Clara asked after a few minutes of silence.

"She did, she very nearly lost control, Tony calmed her down. Though I'm curious as to why you didn't punch her yourself. You don't usually put up with people saying stuff like that" Phil inquired.

"She's your sister, I was worried you'd be upset with me if I punched her" Clara replied.

"She deserved it. Sister or not, it wasn't right for her to say those things to you, it's not right for her to say those things to anyone. I know she never liked you, but that isn't an excuse to say that stuff. It's about time somebody put a stop to it" Phil told her.

"I thought she was right" Clara said softly.

"She wasn't, nothing she said to you was true" Phil assured her.

"Even that I'm only on the Avengers because you’re married to me? I know you got to choose its members, and I was on that list, even before Loki. I don't know why though, I mean there’s Captain America, a super soldier from the past, The Hulk, who can take out a tank. Natasha, she's just in a league of her own, and Thor's an alien god from legends. And Tony has his suit, me though, I'm just a normal human" Clara said.

"I'm going to tell you a secret. I didn't pick you to be on the Avengers, Fury did. When he gave me the assignment, he told me he didn't care who else was on the list, as long as you were. He thought you'd be a good fit on a team like the Avengers. Because you'd do anything to protect people, civilians, and your team mates alike. I fought with him, argued about it. I was afraid to have you on the team, I was afraid that you'd get hurt, that I would lose you. But Fury told me it was an order" Phil told her.

"Fury was the one that wanted me on the team?" Clara asked, looking up at him in surprise.

"Why does that surprise you? Fury sent me out to recruit you after all" Phil replied.

"That was before Fury knew about my attitude and started hating me" Clara sad.

"Fury doesn't hate you, he never has. Fury got annoyed when you disobeyed orders constantly, but he didn't hate you. Besides, he learned that you disobeyed orders when you knew that they'd put somebody in danger, that you knew you could prevent it by doing it another way. He learned to trust your judgment, the same as I did" Phil told her.

"He's still a bastard" Clara said, causing Phil to chuckle again.

"He always has been" Phil agreed.

Chapter Text

Tony cursed loudly as a branch swung back and hit him in the chest, surprised when no reprimand was forth coming from Steve who was in front of him. They were currently running through a forest after their mission had gone badly. Phil had finally been allowed back into the field and was guiding them to a safe house SHIELD had set up somewhere in this forest to wait for backup.

It had been a normal supervillian trying to take over the world mission, until the bad guy set off an EMP charge, taking out Tony's suit. Then hundreds of hired goons, and robots had descended on them from seemingly nowhere. Phil had told them to run when it became clear there was nothing that they could do. The battle wasn't without its dangers though, all of them were scraped up, bleeding, and bruised. Clara was the worst off though; she had taken a bullet to the chest when she had protected Tony. She had run over and pushed him to the ground, taking the bullet to the back instead. She had lost consciousness shortly after, and Steve was carrying her in his arms, Natasha and Phil pushing branches out of his way.

Phil pushed open the wooden door to a cabin, ushering them in before bolting the door behind them. He then rushed to the couch that was set up, and threw all but one of the pillows on it to the floor.

"Put her down. We have to treat her wound now" he told Steve who nodded, moving to lay Clara on the couch. "Natasha, get the first aid kit from the bathroom. Tony I need you to get a bucket of water and a clean rag from the kitchen" Phil ordered. Tony and Natasha rushed to do what they were told. A minute later Tony handed a bucket full of water to Phil who set it next to him on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked, face red, when Phil started to unzip Clara's vest.

"I can't treat her wound with it on. If you need to, forget that she's a woman for right now, right now she's just an injured soldier that needs help" Phil told him, and Steve nodded, jaw tightening, but his eyes still firmly focused away. "Tony, I need you to hold her up while I get her arms out" Phil said and Tony nodded.

Natasha ran back into the room just as Phil got her remaining arm out and Tony was laying her back on the couch.

"It was through and through, that's good" Phil said, grabbing the rag and wringing it out slightly before washing the blood away from the wound just a few inches above her heart.

Once Phil was finished he rinsed his hands off in the water beside him before covering Clara up with his suit jacket. Steve looked over his shoulder before turning back around, he had had turned to face the wall shortly after Phil had started.

"Is she going to be okay?" Steve asked.

"I don't know. I've done what I could for now. We just have to hope SHIELD gets here soon" Phil replied with a sigh. Tony wandered down the hallway once Phil had stood up to dump the water out.

"Don't beat yourself up about it, it wasn't your fault. She would have done it even if you weren't her friend. It's how she is" Natasha said, leaning against the door jamb leading to the back yard of the cabin.

"She might die, and it's my fault. She pushed me out of the way, and look what happened. If she dies, it's my fault" Tony said, head down staring at the grass he was sitting on.

"No it's not. If she heard you saying that, she'd punch you herself. She's a self sacrificing idiot, it's not the first time she's done this and it's not going to be the last. Stop blaming yourself for it" Natasha told him.

"What if she dies? Are you telling me Phil won't blame me? You won't?" Tony asked with a scoff.

"No, we won't. We'd mourn her, knowing the entire time that she did it of her own choice. You didn't do anything" the woman told him.

"I don't want her to die" Tony said softly.

"I know, I don't either. But sitting out hear and blaming yourself isn't going to stop that from happening. Like Phil said, we wait and hope SHIELD comes for us soon" Natasha said, turning around and heading back into the cabin.

When Tony walked back into the main room of the small cabin, the Avengers were scattered around, leaning against the walls, or laying on the floor. The cabin only had a living room, kitchen, and bathroom. Phil was sitting on the floor, back leaning against the couch. It was pitch black outside, and the Avengers were settling down for the night. Bree smiled at him when he went to where she was sitting against the wall. Tony sat down next to her, pulling her into his arms so that she could rest against his shoulder. It wasn't just for Bree's benefit though, it was for his own as well. Phil seemed to be taking it well, but that was a part of Phil's job, appearing calm and unfazed, even if on the inside he was anything but, Tony couldn't imagine the worry he felt. Tony knew that if it was Bree in Clara's place, he'd be a mess.

Tony stayed awake most of the night, watching Phil as he checked on his wife, and watching as Bree slept. He was sleeping when Fury opened the door, and only woke up when Fury shouted at Phil to put the gun down.

"I'm going to point a gun at you when you burst into the building with no warning. You’re going to get shot one of these days. We called you hours ago, where were you?" Phil asked, placing the gun back into his holster.

"Taking care of the bad guy. He's in SHIELD custody, secret layer dismantled" Fury replied, waving SHIELD agents in.

"She got shot, through and through; I did the best I could. She hasn't woken up" Phil told the two medics that had taken to looking over Clara.

"Probably saved her life. From the looks of it, if you hadn't patched her up, she would have bled out hours ago. We'll have to restitch it back at SHIELD, but it stopped the bleeding" the woman said, taping the bandage back down, before the two lifted Clara onto the stretcher. The man went to hand Phil back his suit jacket but the woman grabbed it from him and laid it back over Clara's unconscious form. "It's a comfort if she wakes up in transport" she explained when she received a strange look.

"Let's get you back home" Fury said, following the medics out of the cabin, the Avengers following.

Chapter Text

Two days after the mission and Clara's injury, she wakes up in SHIELD medical. Phil’s sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chair by her bed, just like he is anytime Clara ends up in medical. Clara has always been reckless. Phil tells her she has no sense of self preservation. This is why he was so afraid of her being on the Avengers. Fury told Phil once he considered nothing short of a miracle that Clara was still alive.

Phil was holding Clara's hand when she opened her eyes. He wouldn't have realised that she was awake if she hadn't squeezed his hand gently. Phil’s head shot up from where it was resting against the bed.

"Clara, oh thank God your awake" Phil said, raising Clara's hand to his lips and kissing the back of it, before he let go of it and stood up to alert a doctor or nurse that Clara was awake.

XXX

Once the doctor and nurses had finished looking over Clara, asking her whatever questions they could think of, and poking and prodding at her, and checking on her injury, they left. Phil watched as one of the nurses closed the door, smiling at them as she did.

"I'm okay" Clara told him, voice soft and quiet and Phil looked back at her.

"You scared me. I was absolutely terrified. I heard Tony scream and when I looked back you were on the ground and blood was covering your back. I thought you were dead. All I wanted to do was sit down and scream, or cry, but I couldn't. I patched you up, and then I sat there, ignoring my worry because I knew I couldn't lose it yet. They took you on another plane, the tiny little medical one and wouldn't let me go with you. I didn't know if you were okay the entire way back to HQ and I lost it Clara. I was so scared that I was going to lose you" Phil said, blue eyes wet with tears.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. I thought I'd have enough time to duck" Clara said, reaching out a hand to him.

"You are the reason I'm going bald, you realize that?" Phil asked smiling at his wife as he took her hand back in his.

"I thought I was the cause of your grey hairs" Clara replied, smiling back at him.

Phil chuckled. “You’re the cause of both, but I don't regret it for a second" Phil said, leaning down to kiss her.

"Gross. It's like walking in on your dad making out" Tony said from the doorway, making gagging sounds.

"If Phil's the dad, does that make Clara the mom?" Steve asked from behind him.

"No, Clara's more like the annoying little sister" Tony replied, "That came out wrong" Tony added when he realized what he had said. Bree laughed and stood up on her toes to kiss his cheek.

"Phil's too young to be your dad anyway" Clara told him as the team settled into the room

Chapter Text

Nobody expected it to happen, but nobody ever expects stuff like this to happen, but it did. Clara had only gone out to pick a few things up from the grocery store so she could make dinner. She turned down Tony's offer to have the stuff delivered with a wave of her hand. Clara wasn't used to things being done for her, she had always done everything for herself. She probably never would be used to not doing stuff she had before. She also didn't understand why a trip to the grocery store was so much interest to the paparazzi; she had to eat just like they did.

When Clara didn't return from the store after an hour and a half, Phil called her to check if everything was alright, but Clara didn't answer. Clara always answered when he called her, so Phil was understandably concerned. Nobody else understood why he was worried though, not even Natasha, they said she probably just lost track of time shopping. Phil knew his wife, and this was not normal behavior, but he knew nobody would take that the same way he was. So he was forced to sit on his hands and wait. When another hour and a half passed, then the others started to worry that something was wrong. Natasha tried to call Clara, but nobody answered.

When Phil and the others went to the store, Phil talked to the manager and the workers, but they all said Clara hadn't come in. Tony found Phil's car in the parking lot, and Natasha found a hearing aid kicked under a dumpster in the alley beside the store. Phil knew Clara wouldn't have just taken them out, not in public. She hated not knowing what was going on around her and Phil panicked even more.

XXX

Phil wasn't allowed to help with the search; Fury said he was too close, too involved, and too worried to be of much help. Phil wasn't going to just sit around while his wife was possibly in danger and do nothing, so he went to Tony. Tony didn't trust Fury or SHIELD as far as he could throw them, and was more then happy to help find Clara.

It wasn't just that Tony didn't trust SHIELD that made him agree to search for Clara themselves though. Tony liked Clara, she was a friend, and like he had said, she was like a little sister to him. Sure they fought, and argued, and teased each other, but Tony cared for her, and he wasn't going to let anything happen to her if he had any say in it. That was the reason he agreed to it, that was the reason he started calling in favors to help find their missing member.

Bree had smiled and kissed Tony when she found out they weren't leaving this to SHIELD, and said she'd help in any way she could. Steve wasn't sure about doing it themselves, but he agreed to help. Thor assured them that he would do anything to help find and punish those responsible for the lady hawk's disappearance. Natasha cracked her knuckles and smirked.

XXX

Clara's hands were bound behind her back, and her ankles tied to the front legs of the chair she sat in, glaring death at the man standing by the door. She had woken up tied to a chair in the mostly dark room, the only light source the tiny light bulb in the ceiling. It reminded her of an interrogation scene in a cop movie.

"I'm not going to tell you anything, no matter what you do to me. I'll die before you get anything out of me" Clara shouted, the guard was just a lackey, sent in as a way to intimidate her before the boss came in, and she wasn't going to fall for it. SHEILD agents were taught this stuff in training.

"Nobody is going to do anything to you" a deep voice said as it entered the room, closing the door behind it. Clara's eyes widened when she saw the face she thought she'd never see again. There was a scar on his cheek, that hadn't been there the last time she saw him. The brownish blonde hair was cut short around his head, but his brown eyes were the same as she remembered them though.

"Barney" Clara breathed, staring at her brother she had thought long dead. She had heard he'd died years ago, when she was still a mercenary. She had found someone to find him for her, she had just wanted to know what happened to him, and they had told her he had died.

"I didn't bring you here to try and force you to give me information. You have no information I want" Barney told her, sitting in the chair across from her.

"Then why'd you bring me here? To finish what you and Swordsman failed to do?" Clara asked, eyes narrowed.

"I didn't bring you here to hurt you in any way Clara. I brought you here to talk" Barney replied.

"We have nothing to talk about" Clara snapped.

"Yes we do. I want to apologize for what happened between us the last time we saw each other" Barney said.

"You tried to kill me! That's not something you can apologize for and make it go away" Clara told him, watching as Barney flinched at her words.

"I know, I know I can't take that back, can't make it right. I was jealous; when Jacques chose you as an apprentice I was angry. You didn't need me anymore; I wasn't ready to let you go though. When we were kids, you needed me to protect you, mom couldn't protect herself, let alone us, you needed me. In the orphanage, I was the only one you had, but in the carnival you stopped needing me so much. Then Jacques offered me a cut of the money if I helped him, I agreed, but you found out. I tried to protect you by telling you not to confront him, but you, you didn't listen to me. I was angry, I didn't think, didn't care and I ended up hurting you" Barney said, looking at his sister, Clara just tightened her lips into a thin line.

"Years later, I decided to find you. You were a mercenary, I thought about going out and finding you, but I knew you would shoot me sooner then listen to a thing I had to say, so I didn't. I watched you, took care of any enemies that threatened you, made sure you never knew it was me. I continued to watch you though, no matter where I went, or where you went, I had people watch you for me. When SHIELD sent out an agent, I was afraid they were going to kill you; I had a person ready to take the agent out if needed. But you went with them, joined SHIELD. You didn't need me to protect you in SHIELD, but I watched you anyway. I took care of threats to you, before you or SHIELD even knew they were there, and I watched you. When I found out you were getting married, I thought you were making a mistake. I was worried that you would marry a man just like our father, and I wasn't going to let what happened to mom happen to you. But I was wrong, you married a good man, better then me or our father could ever hope to be. You don't need me watching you or protecting you anymore. You’re safe, you found a new home, a new family, and I know that it's time I let you go now" Barney added.

"You watched me?" Clara asked.

"You might not believe it Clara, but I always loved you. I had to protect you, make sure you were safe" Barney replied.

"Why didn't you contact me another way? Why did you kidnap me from the grocery store? Clara asked.

"Because I knew that your husband wasn't going to let me get anywhere near you" Barney replied.

"And tying me to a chair?" Clara asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I needed to make sure you would listen to me, I'm not stupid enough to leave you free, you would have my men killed, and me in custody before I even got a chance to talk" Barney told her with a smile. Before Clara could say another word, a red light started flashing, and a siren went off, screeching loudly. The siren was loud enough that Clara heard it even in the ear that was missing a hearing aid.

"What is that?" Clara shouted.

"It means there’s an intruder" Barney replied standing up. Barney looked at the guard that was covering his ears with his hands. "Untie her, protect her at any cost. If she gets hurt, I will have your head" Barney told him, the guard nodding as Barney ran out of the room.

"We have to get you out" the guard told her, untying her wrists and ankles quickly. Before they could make it out of the room though, another man entered, gun in hand. The guard moved to grab his own gun but the man shot him before he could even lay a hand on it. Clara swore, eyes scanning the room for any way out.

"Don't try anything stupid, one wrong move and I shoot you, understood?" the man asked, and Clara nodded. "The boss may not want anything from you, but I certainly do. How much do you think those Avengers will pay to get you back? How many secrets do you think your husband will tell to get you back?" the man asked, moving closer a crowding Clara against the wall. "Answer me!" the man said, yanking Clara's head back with a hand gripping her short hair. Clara gasped at the pain, eyes watering.

"They won't give you anything" Clara told him, glaring at him.

"Oh, they will. I have ways of making them. You'd be surprised how much people will pay if given the right incentive" the man said, grabbing Clara's left hand and pressing the blade of a knife to her ring finger. "What do you think your husband will do, knowing that you can't wear your wedding ring ever again?" the man asked

"You can do anything you want to me, he won't tell you anything" Clara told him.

"Oh, there is something I can do to you that would make him tell every secret he knows" the man sneered. "Course that doesn't mean I won't do it anyways" he said, eyeing her body up and down. Clara's eyes widened and she pressed herself closer to the wall. The man's hand was inches away from her shirt when the door opened.

"Get away from her" a voice snarled, and Clara could of cried in relief when she saw Phil standing in the door, gun trained on the man, and the rest of the Avengers behind him, all in fight positions, ready to take the man down. The man dropped the knife and moved away, hands up, and eyes wide in fear.

"Take care of him" Phil ordered, replacing his gun in his holster and running to Clara. Clara clung to Phil when he hugged her, head buried into his chest. They both looked up when they heard a thud.

"Oops, sorry" Tony said, pulling the man away from the wall and shoving him towards the door, the man screaming in pain, blood pouring out of his nose Clara had no doubt was broken.

"Did Tony just shove him into the wall?" Clara asked.

"Any injury he has sustained was the result of him fighting us" Phil said, and Clara stared at him.

"I don't think I've ever seen you so violent" Clara told him.

"You've never seen what happens when people hurt you" Phil replied, kissing her forehead. "Let’s get you out of here" he added, grabbing Clara's hand, and leading her out.

Chapter Text

Clara smiled when she felt Phil's arm tighten around her waist, and felt a kiss placed against her shoulder through the cloth of the old gray SHIELD training shirt she wore. She had been up for a few minutes, but had decided to wait for Phil to wake up to get out of bed.

"This is a change, usually I have to wake you up" Phil murmured against the shoulder he was still occasionally kissing.

"Yeah. I have to go to HQ today" Clara told him, rolling onto her back, Phil hummed a questioning sound as he kissed the side of her neck.

"Why do you have to go to HQ? Fury didn't say anything to me about sending you on a mission" Phil asked as he sat up.

"I have to go talk to a therapist in Psych. They said they wanted to check up on me, I went every week for awhile when I thought you were dead. I hardly talked though, so they said that I needed time to grieve on my own before I would talk. Now that everyone know that you’re alive though, they want to see how I'm handling everything" Clara replied.

"Are you going to talk to them?" Phil asked, knowing that Clara had the habit of refusing to talk to psych.

"I have to. Fury said if I don't talk to them, he'll pull me out of the field for a year, and restrict my access to the target range" Clara replied.

"He's only doing this for your own good Clara" Phil told her, leaning over to place a kiss to her forehead.

"You say the same thing when you drag me to medical" Clara said, and Phil chuckled.

"I wouldn't have to if you weren't so reckless" Phil told her as he stood up.

"Just go take your shower, I need coffee" Clara said, throwing a pillow at her husband, Phil only laughed.

XXX

The therapist was one of the youngest members of the psych staff; she had been hired right after finishing her studies. She was the niece of some big shot connected to SHIELD and they had gotten Fury to look at her. She was also one of the few members of the psych staff Clara liked, most thought she was stupid, and treated her like it. There was a very small amount of therapists or psychologists that were still willing to work with Clara. Phil told them if you treated Clara with the respect she deserved, she would do the same, but not a lot had listened to him.

"How have you been since the last time I saw you?" the therapist asked, shiny pink lips stretched into a smile, and dark hair pulled back into a ponytail.

"I've been fine" Clara replied.

"How are you handling the fact that Agent Coulson is alive?" she asked.

"I'm mad at Fury for telling me he was dead, but I've been good with it. I thought he was dead for six months, I'm happy of course" Clara told her.

"Are you still blaming yourself for what happened with Loki?" she asked.

"I lead the attack on the hellicarrier, people dead because of me, how could I not?" Clara told her.

"You weren't in control of yourself at the time, you were being controlled, and you must realize that it wasn't your fault. You helped to defeat him in the end" the woman said.

"That doesn't stop others from blaming me too" Clara pointed out.

"In the notes I wrote the last time you had to come see me, I said that you were still feeling guilt over what happened with Loki, and that you weren't grieving for your loss because subconsciously you felt like you deserved it for what you did. You seem to have substituted that now however" she said.

"My husband was dead, what did you want me to do? Go to a party?" Clara asked.

"I expected you to grieve, but the problem was you weren't. You seem to have just gone numb, you were sad, but you weren't grieving. You were alive, but it seemed like you had died" the other woman answered.

"I felt like I had, when I was told Phil was dead, I felt like my world had been destroyed" Clara said.

"I'm going to suggest that you see me a few more times for right now, we'll see how that goes. You seem like you’re handling things well, but I want to make sure. I want you to work on your feelings of guilt as well, if you don't talk to me about it, talk to someone" she told Clara, handing her a slip of paper, Clara nodded as she slipped the paper into her pocket and left.

Chapter Text

Phil Coulson sighed as he woke up, refusing to move as he stared up at the ceiling. He wished he could just go back to sleep and sleep until tomorrow. But he had to work, and he couldn't escape what today was even though he wished he could. Phil rolled over onto his side, only to realize Clara wasn't in bed and he sighed again.

"You’re up" Clara said when she came back in, holding a tray in her hands. Phil couldn't help but smile at her, and she smiled back.

"Happy Birthday" Clara said, kissing his cheek as she placed the tray on his lap. Clara always made him breakfast in bed on his birthday. Phil smiled as he looked at the plate of eggs, and bacon, with a bowl of fresh fruit salad, coffee and orange juice and picked up the fork.

"Thank you" Phil told her, smiling when Clara stole a piece of a strawberry as she sat beside him on the bed. She kept up a steady conversation as he ate.

XXX

"Wanna get lunch today? I'm sure Fury wouldn't mind if you took a longer lunch today" Clara asked as Phil was tying his tie.

"I wish I could, I have a meeting right after lunch today though" Phil replied, and Clara nodded. She never got upset by that, she knew what it was like working for SHIELD. "How about tomorrow?" Phil asked.

"I'd like that" Clara said, leaning in to kiss him.

"It's a date. I'll see you after work, I love you" Phil told her with a smile.

"Love you too" Clara replied.

XXX

Clara smiled as she placed the cake in the fridge, Tony had insisted on a surprise party for Phil as soon as he found out that his birthday was coming up. He'd asked her what his favorite flavor of cake was, his favorite foods, if he was allergic to anything, and then he had put everything together. Clara knew Phil wasn't a fan of his birthday, because of how old he was, but he knew that Clara liked to celebrate it and never begrudged her the chance.

"It smells really good in here" Tony said walking into the kitchen. Clara had insisted on making meatballs for the party, because Phil loved her homemade meatballs. They were also having Pizza, and steaks though, all of Phil's favorite foods. Clara slapped Tony's hand with a wooden spoon when he reached for a meatball cooling on the plate on the counter.

"Ow" Tony pouted, cradling his abused hand.

"No sneaking food, try that again and I will have Natasha deal with you" Clara threatened, before going back to rolling more of the mixture of meat into balls.

"How many are you even making?" Tony asked, looking at the meatballs that littered the kitchen.

"A lot, Have you seen how much food Steve and Thor can eat between just the two of them? It's enough to feel a small army for a week" Clara answered.

"We're having other stuff to you know, I don't think we need that many" Tony told her.

"I'd rather have more then we need then not enough" Clara said, and Tony shrugged.

"Fury called, Phil will be a little late" Natasha informed them walking into the kitchen.

"Why?" Clara asked.

"Some junior agents being idiots, and he has to go down to medical now" Natasha replied.

"Do I even want to know what the junior agents did?" Clara asked.

"It involved a dare and the explosion of one of the labs" Natasha replied.

"Well, that means I get to help train the idiots" Clara said with a grin.

"That is not a good grin, that is your 'I'm going to make someone hurt' grin" Tony said, pointing at Clara's face.

"How did he get hurt? His office is nowhere near the labs" Clara asked, ignoring Tony's comment, Natasha just shrugged.

"Fury didn't say what happened, just said that he was fine and would be home a little later then expected" Natasha replied, and Clara nodded, going back to shaping meatballs.

XXX

Clara was waiting for Phil in the lobby when he walked half an hour later, his suit jacket was folded over his left arm, his white dress shirt's sleeve rolled up to his elbow and right forearm wrapped in a white bandage. He had another bandage on his cheek, and was wearing his glasses instead of his contacts like usual.

"You okay?" Clara asked, laying her hand on Phil's cheek, and kissing his nose.

"I'm fine, a few second degree burns on my arm and leg, they patched me up and gave me some pain killers and some cream" Phil assured her.

"What about your cheek?" Clara asked.

"First degree, nothing serious" Phil replied, kissing his wife.

"So what exactly happened?" Clara asked, taking Phil's hand as the walked to the elevator.

"A few of the junior agents were playing truth or dare in a break room, one got dared to go down to a lab and mess with the chemicals. His friend went along, they got caught, and spilled one of the chemicals on a burning Benson burner, and the lab caught on fire. I was coming back from my meeting and went to help, got a little too close to the fire" Phil explained.

"What happened to the two junior agents?" Clara asked.

"Ran away before the fire got to bad, they'll be fine. Fury was yelling at them when I went to medical. Fury said he's making them take your training course as part of their punishment because you'll scare them so bad they'll never do anything stupid again" Phil said.

"My training course is always a punishment when a junior agent does something stupid, is it that bad?" Clara asked.

"You’re tough on them, and you’re scary. The juniors are more afraid of you then they are of Fury and Hill, because the older agents tell stories at lunch" Phil replied.

"I'm not that bad am I?" Clara asked, looking up at him.

"When you’re angry, yes, you’re terrifying when you’re angry" Phil said, squeezing her hand.

XXX

When they walked out of the elevator and into the communal living room, the other Avengers, joined by Pepper were waiting for them. The food was set up on long tables by the windows, and soft music playing.

"Surprise!" they shouted, and Phil attempted to escape, but Clara held onto his arm, keeping him in place.

"What's going on?" Phil asked.

"Tony planned a surprise party for you" Clara explained, smiling at him. She looked so happy, and Phil couldn't find it in himself to be annoyed, and smiled back. Phil never told Clara not to celebrate his birthday, and he never would, because it made her happy. Phil would do anything if it meant Clara was happy.

"Thank you" Phil said looking at Tony who grinned at him, arm slung over Bree's shoulders.

"Happy birthday Phil" Pepper said, kissing him on the cheek as she hugged him.

"Yeah, happy birthday Agent" Tony agreed, the other joining in with their own wishes, as Clara pulled Phil over to the tables lined with food and drinks. Phil smiled, happy to just enjoy time with his friends.

Chapter Text

Phil had been sixteen when his father died, and as the second oldest, and the oldest boy, Phil had taken it on himself to take care of his family. He had gotten a job to help his mother out, and had done all he could to take care of Chris and Pauline. Chris was fourteen at the time, and Pauline, being the baby of the family had been eleven. Hannah, at eighteen had already been off at college, studying to get her law degree and to be a lawyer.

Phil had been nineteen when he left home and joined the army. He'd been twenty two when he met Nick Fury. Phil had been placed on a team the man was in charge of, tasked with finding and taking a man charged with selling government secrets, into custody. Phil's first impression of the man was that he was an asshole that impression had never changed. Fury had laughed when Phil had called him that after being shot.

Phil was twenty nine, when he met Nick Fury again. He'd been called into a superior officer’s office, and Phil had been terrified that something had happened to his family as he couldn't think of any other reason for being called there. Fury had offered him a job after his next tour and Phil had accepted.

Phil was thirty two when he started at S.H.I.E.L.D, and he'd risen quickly through the ranks, earning himself respect, and a place at Fury's right hand in the process. Phil was also one of the few people Nick Fury considered a friend.

Phil was thirty four when he met Clara Barton, she was only twenty. She was beautiful, and not at all what Phil had expected, they hadn't had more then a few grainy black and white photos of her. Phil had expected someone older, not this woman barely out of her teens with blond hair and striking green eyes. Clara was hardened by life, wary and broken down though, just like he had expected. She'd pointed a gun at him, and then only seconds later she had collapsed into his arms as she'd let her exhaustion take hold of her.

Phil was thirty six when he met Natasha Romonov, the red haired woman had walked into the tent S.H.I.E.L.D had set up in the field right behind Clara who had been sent out to eliminate her, only to completely disappear after telling Phil to trust her over their ear pieces. Phil had panicked, and him and the other agents had started searching for her. Natasha's shoulders tensed even further when every agent in the tent aimed their guns at her. Clara had just stood in front of the other woman with her arms out to her sides and begged Phil to trust her judgement. Phil had put his job and possibly his life on the line for Clara that day.

Phil was thirty eight when he asked Clara out on a date. It had been after a particularly hard mission gone bad. Phil was high on adrenaline, and while he feared that she would reject him, he had to at least try. To his surprise Clara had said yes, right before looking him in the eye and telling him she was going to pass out, which she had. The date had gone horrible; he'd tried to impress her by taking her to some fancy French restaurant. He'd ended up burning himself with fondue and spilling red wine all over the table. The night had ended with him in the hospital after learning the hard way he was allergic to escargot. He'd sighed and apologised as he walked her to the door of her apartment, sure that the woman would never want to see him again. Clara laughed, and kissed him on the cheek. "Next time, how about we order a pizza and watch a movie? I'm not into big fancy things anyway" Clara said, Phil agreed.

Phil was still thirty eight when he'd asked Clara to marry him. They had been dating for a little more then half a year, but Phil felt that they knew each other well enough that the short time that passed didn't matter. Phil's mother had squealed and started crying when he'd told her, before immediately hugging Clara. Pauline had immediately announced she wanted to help plan the wedding. Chris had blinked in shock, before saying that he hadn't thought Phil was ever going to marry. Hannah had glared at Clara, and left.

Phil was thirty nine when he married Clara, it had been a small ceremony held in the backyard of the house Phil had grown up in. Phil's mother hadn't questioned why Clara didn't have any family; she'd only gave her new daughter in law a small smile and told her that she did now. Fury and Natasha was the only people from S.H.E.I.L.D that had been invited.

Phil was forty one when him and Clara decided to have a child, Clara had never really wanted to be a mother, not until she'd married Phil. Phil was a good man, and she knew that he would be a wonderful father, and she wanted to have a child with him.

Phil was forty two when he and Clara were told that they couldn't have children. They had tried for more then a year, but when it had never happened, Phil suggested that the get their fertility checked. Phil had been ready to blame himself, completely convinced that due to his age he couldn't father a child. He'd never once thought that the doctor would tell them that Clara couldn't have kids, unexplained infertility the doctor had told them in a sympathetic voice. Clara had cried and apologised, and Phil hadn't known how to make her feel better. His wife had spent nearly a week laying in bed, or on their couch, curled into a ball. She'd kept apologising for not being able to give him a child, like she knew he'd always wanted, Phil shushed her, assuring her that he didn't care, that he loved her no matter what.

Phil was forty four when he died, and came back to life. Phil hadn't thought that there was a chance that he might not come back alive when he'd decided to go after Loki alone, he'd only thought about making the bastard pay for what he had done to Clara. After Loki had stabbed him in the back, his only thought had been Clara as he bled out on the floor. He'd worried about how she would take his death, and he hoped that she would be okay. Phil had been so happy to find out that they had managed to save him, until Fury told him Clara thought he was dead. He'd been pissed when Fury told him that he wasn't ever going to tell Clara he was alive. He'd ordered Phil to keep the secret, let Clara think he'd died and be the good little S.H.E.I.L.D agent. Phil had used what little strength he had and had shouted at Fury until his voice was hoarse and his throat hurt. The next day, Phil told Fury that he was resigning from S.H.E.I.L.D, that Clara was more important to him then following orders, or S.H.E.I.L.D. Fury had agreed to come clean to Clara and the other Avengers when he had been faced with the very real possibility of losing his best agent.

Chapter Text

Clara really wasn't surprised when Phil's phone went off during dinner, after all they both worked for S.H.E.I.L.D, who called at all hours if they needed you. Phil checked the screen before answering it with a smile.

"Hello Pauline" Phil said, smile fading quickly to be replaced by worry, Clara and the other Avengers stopped what the were doing and watched him.

"Calm down, I can't understand you when your freaking out. Breath, in and out now tell me what's wrong" Phil said gently, voice calm. Phil listened to his sister talk, shushing her gently when she started to panic again.

"What's wrong?" Clara asked quietly, worried for the family that had accepted her so quickly as one of their own, Phil only smiled at her, assuring her that nothing was wrong.

"Okay, it's okay, call your boss and tell him that you need to use some of your vacation days, then I want you to get a plane ticket and come up here for a few days. Okay?" Phil told her. "I know you can get time, you're like me, you never use vacation time, you need to calm down" Phil said, listening as his sister said something else before she hung up.

"Is she okay?" Clara asked.

"She's fine. She just found out she's pregnant and she started freaking out" Phil explained.

"She's pregnant? Shouldn't she be happy not freaking out?" Clara asked.

"Her boyfriend apparently dumped her when she told him, now she's worried about being a single mother. She just needs some time to calm down" Phil said.

"Does your mother know?" Clara asked.

"Not yet, Pauline said she'd call her when she had a ticket" Phil replied and Clara nodded. She wasn't surprised that Phil was the first person Pauline called. Pauline had grown very attached to Phil after their father had died, he was the closet thing she had to a father growing up. He had taken care of her. He was the one that fixed up scraped knees, and threatened boyfriends, the one that had held her when she cried the first time a boy had broken her heart. Phil had never stopped taking care of her, and Clara knew he never would.

Chapter Text

Clara was the one that picked Pauline up from the airport, Phil had been called away on a mission a few hours after Pauline had called. When Clara met Pauline at baggage claim, the older woman was sitting on a bench, her nose buried in 'What to expect when your expecting'.

"That's just going to freak you out more" Clara said when she reached her sister in law, Pauline jumped.

"Yeah, I figured that out. I picked this up at a bookstore on the way to the airport, I thought it would ease my fears, but it just added to them. Do you know some of the things that can happen to your baby from certain medications that you could take?" Pauline asked.

"I wouldn't know, I never had cause to read that book" Clara replied.

"Oh, I forgot, I'm so sorry Clara. Maybe I shouldn't have come, I don't want to upset you" Pauline said, brows furrowed in worry.

"Hey relax, it's okay you're not upsetting me. I've come to terms with the fact I can't have kids a few years ago" Clara told her, patting her shoulder.

"Am I going to upset Phil do you think? I know he always wanted to have kids" Pauline asked.

"He's just going to be happy about being an uncle. He's going to spoil that kid rotten" Clara told her and Pauline smiled.

"Yeah, I figured that he would spoil it, I just didn't want to upset you too" Pauline explained, reaching for her suit case but Clara grabbed it before she could.

"If we got upset every time we saw a pregnant woman we'd never leave home. We made peace with it, there's no need to worry" Clara told her.

"Phil always wanted kids, and if anybody deserved to have some it's him" Pauline said.

"He would have been a wonderful father, but he'll be an amazing uncle too" Clara retorted and Pauline nodded with a smile.

"Hannah always said this car was a midlife crisis" Pauline said running a hand over the glossy cherry red paint on the hood of Phil's car when they reached the parking lot.

"She better hope Phil never hears that, Lola is his pride and joy" Clara said, patting the cars hood.

"Lola?" Pauline asked with a small smile.

"I don't know, that's what he named her" Clara shrugged and Pauline laughed.

"It's a nice car" Pauline said.

"Don't ask to drive her, Phil doesn't let anybody but me touch Lola" Clara told her.

XXX

Phil was sitting at the table in the kitchen when they got back, head resting against his fist and eyes closed, half asleep with a cup of coffee by his elbow. Clara chuckled softly and moved closer to her husband, kissing the top of his head and startling him awake.

"Sorry to scare you. Come on, let's get you to bed" Clara said, grabbing Phil's hand.

"Pauline's here" Phil argued, even though he looked ready to fall asleep where he stood.

"Uh huh, and you didn't sleep on your mission so you could try and rush home and now you've exhausted yourself. She'll be here later, right now you need a nap" Clara replied, kissing Phil's cheek and leading him away.

"I'll see you later Phil, listen to your wife and go sleep" Pauline told him with a smile and Phil nodded with a yawn.

Chapter Text

Pauline had never thought she'd be the type of woman who would be raising a child on her own, she swore to herself that when she got pregnant, she would be married. She would have a better job, not working at some desk answering calls and taking messages. She wasn't going to be like her cousin, raising three children on her own and trying to make ends meet. Things hadn't worked out like that, she'd gotten pregnant, and her boyfriend of a year and a half had left her, telling her that he never wanted to be a father, that he liked his life and didn't want a child around screwing it up. Pauline ran a hand over her still flat stomach and sighed, she wouldn't start showing for a few months yet, and she had no idea what she was going to do, how she was going to raise this child on her own. She knew that Phil would help her if she asked, knew that her mother would as well, knew that Hannah would would help her, she knew that her entire family would help her as much as they could, but she didn't want to have to rely on her family for everything. Pauline sighed again and went back to staring at the sky.

Pauline knew what it was like to grow up without a father, how Fathers day meant nothing, and how you would pretend that it didn't bother you that there was nobody to give a gift to, even though it did. How when you pictured your wedding day, there was nobody to walk you down the aisle like in the movies. How you envied the other kids, how you would wish for your father to come back, and how you eventually accepted that it wasn't going to happen. She didn't blame her father for not being there, she knew that he hadn't wanted to leave them. He had died, there was nothing that any one could have done. And Phil had been there, Phil who despite being her big brother, had done everything he could to be a father figure to her. She just hated the thought of her child growing up without at least there knowledge that their father had loved them.

Pauline settled a hand on her stomach, wondering what she should do. She knew that there was a lot of women who in her situation would terminate the pregnancy, but Pauline wouldn't even consider that option. She wasn't sure if she could raise this child on her own, but she wasn't going to do that. Adoption was always an option, she could find a nice couple that wanted a child, one that would love the baby like it was their own. Maybe a couple that couldn't have children, like Phil and Clara. Phil and Clara, they both wanted children, would love any child like it was their own, maybe they would want to adopt the baby. Pauline could still see the child when she saw Phil, they would send her pictures, and keep her updated on the child's progress. And the child would stay with the family, grow up with the best grandma Pauline could think of, raised by the best father, a man that had helped to raise her.

Pauline nodded, if she decided to place the child up for adoption, she would talk to Phil and Clara and ask if the would be interested in adopting it. But she had a little more time to make that decision, for right now though she was going to go back inside and see if Phil was awake yet. She stood back up smiling as she rubbed her stomach.

Chapter Text

Pauline was towards the end of her forth month of being pregnant when she made her decision, it had not been an easy one, but she knew in her heart that it was the right one. Phil and Clara were flying in for their mothers birthday, and she planed on talking to them if they'd like to adopt the baby. She rubbed a hand over her slightly rounded belly with a smile.

She heard the door open downstairs and smiled once again, rushing out of the bathroom and down the stairs as fast as she could and grabbed Phil in a hug as he dropped the suitcase he was carrying to return the hug. Once she pulled away from her brother, she pull her sister in law in a hug.

"Look at you, you've got a bump" Phil said with a smile when she pulled away from his wife.

"Yep, I've had one, but it's more noticeable now" Pauline agreed.

"May I?" Phil asked, his hand hovering over her stomach, she nodded, grabbing his hand and placing it on her stomach.

"Do you feel him moving around yet?" he asked, rubbing his hand over her abdomen with a soft look on his face.

"A little bit, it's not that much" she replied.

XXX

It was after dinner that Pauline asked Phil and Clara if she could talk to them in private. They sat out on the patio their father had built in the backyard not long before he had passed away. Phil and Clara sitting across from her at the medium sized table that had been a gift from Phil for their mothers last birthday.

"What did you want to talk about?" Phil asked. Pauline twirled her thumbs before taking a deep breath.

"I've decided that I'm putting the baby up for adoption. I'm not ready to be a mom yet, and I don't really have the stability right now. I don't make enough money with my job to support a child, and I can't quit. But I didn't like the idea of my child going to complete strangers, so I thought that maybe you guys might be interested in adopting him" she said. Phil and Clara both stared at her for a few minutes in silence.

"You want us to adopt your baby?" Phil asked.

Pauline nodded. "You and Clara both want kids, and you know how much mom wants grand kids. You guys have your lives on track, you're stable, and I know that you guys would love him like your own. I can't imagine better parents for my child" Pauline said. Clara's eyes were starting to fill with tears and she looked at her husband.

"Polly" Phil said using the nickname their father had given her, his voice rough.

"I'm positive Phil. I've thought about this a thousand times, I know that this is the right choice" She assured him grabbing one of his in both of her own. Phil looked at Clara, and Pauline smiled as they seemed to have a silent conversation.

"If you're absolutely sure, we'd be honored" Phil said and Pauline smiled as wide as she could, standing up and hugging Phil tightly.

"Thank you" Clara said, voice shaky as Pauline turned to hug her. Pauline petted the back of the other woman's head, as she whispered her gratitude again and again.

XXX

Phil was sitting at the patio table the next morning reading the newspaper when his mother sat down beside him. Victoria Coulson was surprisingly quiet on her feet and agile for a woman in her eighties.

"Pauline told me that you and Clara are going to be adopting the baby" she said.

"Are you upset?" Phil asked, putting the newspaper down in front of him and looking at his mother.

"No, it's her decision. I'm glad she's keeping it in the family though, and you and Clara, your going to be wonderful parents" she said smiling at her son.

"I talked to Clara, she knows not to get her hopes up to much just in case Pauline changes her mind. She's so happy though, I don't know if I'll be able to help if Pauline decides to keep it" Phil said.

"I don't think you'll have to worry. Looking at her, I can see she's sure. She's been worried these last few months, and now it's like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders. But it's good that your thinking about that" she retorted, griping her sons hand.

"What would dad think about our lives if he could see us" Phil said, smiling when his mother laughed.

"He'd be happy. He'd be so proud of you, he'd probably laugh himself sick that your working with Captain America now. He'd probably talk Hannah's ear off with one of his lectures. He'd try to knock some sense into Chris" she told him.

"Do you think he would have liked Clara?" he asked.

"I think he would have adored her. They could sit on the couch and discuss sports and weapons until they were both blue in the face. She has the same sense of humor as he did too" she smiled and Phil chuckled. "But mostly he'd be happy that you're happy" she said kissing his cheek.

XXX

The day before Phil and Clara were set to go back to New York Pauline had an appointment, and since they were going to be adopting the baby she had invited them along, they had agreed eagerly. And that was what led them to sitting in the waiting room of her doctors office, Phil flicking through one of the old magazines that was on the stand beside him, foot tapping, the only sign he was nervous. Phil had tapped his foot when he was nervous for as long as she could remember. Clara was looking around the room, ignoring the older woman that sat across from them giving them dirty looks.

"Why does she keep looking at us like that?" Pauline asked quietly, Phil looked up briefly from his magazine.

"I think she thinks were together" Clara replied, Pauline chocked when she understood and shuddered.

"Oh gross" she said, Clara started laughing and Phil shook his head.

It was a few minutes later when a woman in pink scrubs came out, holding a clipboard in her hand.

"Ms. Coulson, she's ready to see you now" she said smiling when Pauline stood.

"Who do you have with you today?" she asked when she noticed Phil and Clara stand as well.

"This is my brother Phil and his wife, they're going to be adopting it so I thought they might like to tag along today" she replied, smiling slightly when she heard the old woman say 'Oh' softly from behind her.

"It's nice to meet you" the nurse said politely smiling at Phil and Clara.

XXX

Phil was staring at the screen, a small smile on his face, and Clara was griping his hand, her green eyes shiny and a smile of her own on her face as they listened to the heartbeat of the baby growing in Pauline's stomach.

"Would you like a DVD?" the doctor asked, Phil nodded silently and she smiled as she stood and left the room.

"I'll send you the ultrasound pictures from now on, I have copies of the old ones if you want me to send those as well" Pauline said, pulling her shirt back over her stomach.

"We'd like that" Phil said, kissing the top of her head, Pauline smiled at them, secure in the knowledge that she had indeed made the right choice.

XXX

"We'll find a lawyer as soon as we get home and get all the paper work done as soon as possible. We'll make sure you have thirty days to change your mind of course" Phil told Pauline as they were waiting for their plane at the airport.

"Thank you. I'll keep you guys updated with everything" Pauline promised, giving them one last hug before they had to go.

XXX

Once they were back in New York, Phil and Clara told the other Avengers the news. Steve had smiled and told them he was happy for them. Bree had offered her congratulations with a smile. Natasha had pulled them both into a hug, and announced herself a godmother to which the both smiled. Thor had shouted that it called for a celebration and hugged them tightly. And Tony had immediately pulled out his phone, calling Pepper and telling her to hire the best adoption lawyer she could, waving off Phil and Clara's protests, and telling them to think of it as a baby shower gift.

Chapter Text

The Avengers were just entering the tower after a battle with Doctor Doom, they were all tired and sore, dirty and sweaty and wanted nothing more then to shower and relax, possibly a meal as well. They had just stepped off the elevator and onto the main floor of the tower when JARVIS alerted Phil that there was a message for him. Phil had been unable to answer his phone during the battle, and since JARVIS was connected to all of the Avengers phones had taken the initiative to answer for him.

"Will you play it please JARVIS?" Phil asked, loosening the tie around his throat.

"Certainly sir" JARVIS replied, playing the message.

"Hey sweetie, I know your busy and can't answer right now, I'm just calling to let you know that Pauline went into labor, she asked me to call and let you and Clara know so you can come down as soon as you can. We're already at the hospital, call me back when you get this message, love you" his mothers voice said through the speakers.

"I'm going to call her back, you go shower and change" Phil said, pulling his phone from his pocket, Clara nodded.

"Tell your mom, you'll be there as soon as you shower and change, we'll take my jet" Tony said, Phil nodded, it had already been established that the other Avengers were not going to be held out of this moment so Phil didn't argue.

XXX

Once the Avengers were showered and changed they boarded Tony's jet that was already waiting for them at the airport. Clara was sitting beside Phil and holding his hand, both smiling, though Phil knew that Clara was worried Pauline would change her mind, and he was as well.

"There's food and drinks, we'll be there in just a few hours" Tony said, pulling a tablet out of his bag.

"Thank you Tony" Phil said, Tony just nodded, but he was smiling.

XXX

Phil's mother was waiting for them when they arrived at the hospital and Pulled Phil and Clara into a hug immediately.

"The baby's not here yet, but the Doctor doesn't think it will be long. She's progressing quickly for it being her first child" she told them, Phil nodded.

"I have to go back in now, she just asked me to wait for you when I got your text letting me know that you'd be here in a few minutes. I'll be right back out once it's all over" She said, kissing Phil's cheek before disappearing down the hallway. Phil and Clara sat down in the waiting room, the other Avengers minus Tony who had disappeared followed suit.

Five minutes later Tony reappeared carrying two bouquets of flowers, a small green teddy bear, and a medium sized stuffed rabbit with a blue bow tied around it's neck, he handed one of the bouquets to Clara, a card stuffed inside that said 'Congratulations' on one side and 'Sorry' on the other. And handed the stuffed rabbit to Phil. He then handed the green bear to Bree who stared at it for a second before smiling at him.

"Why does the card say 'sorry' and 'congratulations'?" Steve asked.

"Covering the bases" Tony replied, wrapping a hand around Bree's shoulders.

XXX

A half hour later Phil's mom came back out, a wide smile on her face, Phil and Clara stood, gripping each others hands.

"There's someone that wants to see you" she said, leading them back to Pauline's room.

"Phil!" Pauline said happily when she saw him, a tired smile on her face.

"Hey, how are you?" Phil asked, moving towards the bed.

"Exhausted, but I'm okay" she replied, grabbing one of Phil's hands and reaching out with her other hand for Clara to take.

"I'm glad you both made it so fast. I was worried" she said.

"There we go, all nice and clean. Would you like to hold him?" the nurse asked, holding the baby wrapped in a blue blanket out to Phil, who nodded and took him from the woman's arms gently and holding him to his chest.

"Your a natural" Pauline told him.

"I should be, I held you enough times when you were a baby" Phil retorted, shifting slightly so that Clara could see the baby he held as well.

"He's adorable" Clara said, smiling.

"He should be, he's a Coulson" Phil's mother replied.

"Can I hold him?" Clara asked.

"I should hope you could Clara, he's yours" Pauline smiled, as Phil nodded and handed the baby to his wife.

"Thank you Polly" Phil said, kissing his sisters forehead and brushing back a few strands of her hair.

"If I wasn't sure that you two were perfect before, I am now. I know this was the right decision" Pauline assured him.

XXX

Two days later and the Avengers were heading home, the newest member of the family Nicolas Paul Coulson asleep in his car seat. Clara and Phil had decided to honor Pauline and the gift she had given them in their sons middle name.

Nicolas had the same dark hair as Phil and Pauline, a small birthmark on his inner thigh, and Pauline's wide eyes. Clara couldn't help but think he was absolutely perfect, and Phil had to agree.

Chapter Text

Phil woke up slowly, eyes blinking repeatedly, trying to figure out what had woken him up before he realized that Clara wasn't in the bed, he looked at the clock beside the bed to see that it was only two thirty in the morning. He yawned, slipping out of bed and walking towards the room next to their own that was being used as a nursery. When he pushed open the door it was to see Clara holding the baby and rocking back and forth in the rocking chair, smiling.

"He start crying?" Phil asked softly, Clara looked up at him, still smiling.

"That wasn't why I got up. I just wanted to hold him, he did start crying though" Clara admitted.

"Clara, you've been getting out of bed every night so far just to hold him when he's not crying. Your going to wear yourself out, and make it so he wants to be held constantly. It's been a week since we've bought him home Clara, you can't keep doing this" Phil told her. Clara ducked her head.

"I'm scared Phil. I just keep thinking that Pauline's going to call and say she's changed her mind. Every time the phone rings I just want to grab him and hold him so somebody can't take him away" Clara said, her voice wavering slightly. Phil bent slightly kissing the top of her head and rubbing her back soothingly.

"I know baby, I know how scared you are, I am too. We finally have him, but you know in the back of your head that he can be taken away at any second. But Pauline hasn't called" Phil said, trying to comfort her.

"I know, but she might, she still has a few more weeks to change her mind. What if she does Phil? What do we do then? I got over not being able to have kids, I accepted that I was never going to be a mother, I don't know if I could handle someone taking him away. Just the thought of it, it feels like sitting in that doctors office and being told that I couldn't do the one thing my body was made for all over again" Clara said.

"That's not your fault Clara, sometimes things like that happen. And you are more then your ability to have children, you are a kind, strong, and intelligent woman, and not being able to have children does not make you less of a woman" Phil told her.

"I never amounted to anything Phil, the one chance I had was being able to have children, then I found out I didn't even have that. And all I could think was what use was I as a wife, what good was I if I couldn't give you children?" Clara said, voice soft, and Phil closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and fists clenching, cursing Clara's father and all of the men before him not for the first time.

"Stop it. Clara, I thought you got over that kind of thinking. I don't care if you can give me children or not, I fell in love with you, not what you could give me. Yes, it broke my heart knowing I couldn't have kids with you, but I still had you, and that's all I needed" Phil told her, kneeling on the floor, his hands on her knees, looking up at her.

"I'm sorry, I hadn't thought that for a while, but having Nikki, it brought it all back. I love him to death, I do, I just, I don't know. I just started thinking about what it would have been like if I could have children. And then I kept wondering if you'd be happier if you had the chance to have your own biological children. There's hundreds of women out there Phil, women who'd be happy to give you that" Clara said.

"I don't care how many women are out there Clara. I wouldn't leave you for anyone, even if there were three people left on the planet and the only chance of human survival was me leaving you and having kids with someone else. You are the only woman I want. There is nothing that would make me happier then being with you" he retorted, and Clara smiled slightly, her eyes slightly wet.

"Now come on, why don't you put Nikki back to bed, and we go back to our own bed and sleep for as long as he'll let us, and tomorrow I'll make you chocolate chip pancakes" Phil said.

"With bacon?" Clara asked, standing slowly and moving towards the mahogany crib.

"With bacon" Phil agreed, kissing his wife quickly as they made their way back to their own room.

XXX

Clara woke up slowly the next morning, the sun shining brightly into her eyes from the crack in the black out curtains her and Phil always used because working in S.H.I.E.L.D sometimes meant not going to sleep until the middle of the day. Phil wasn't in bed, but that wasn't surprising with a new baby, and she sat up slowly, looking towards the clock on Phil's side of the bed. She rubbed her eyes slightly, sure that she couldn't be seeing the time correctly. But when she looked again the clock still said that it was nearing eleven thirty in the morning. Clara hadn't slept this late since they had brought Nick home, her and Phil was always up by six. She slipped out of bed and slipped her slippers on, leaving the room in search of her husband.

Phil was in the the Communal kitchen when she found him, flipping a pancake while a stack sat beside him on the counter, and an apron tied around his waist. The other Avengers were sitting at the table. Tony drinking coffee with bleary eyes and leaning against Bree, who was drinking her usual mug of green tea. Steve was sketching something in his sketch pad. Natasha was holding Nick, who was smiling at Thor while the Asgardian made faces at him.

"Hello, I was just about to send Natasha to get you up. We waited to have breakfast but you slept longer then I expected, so we were just going to wake you up when it was done" Phil said, placing a kiss on her forehead with a smile.

"Smells good" Clara told him, grabbing a mug from the cupboard and pouring herself some coffee.

"Go sit down with the others, It'll be done in a minute" Phil said, pouring the last of the batter into the pan. Clara sat down beside Natasha, running a hand over the downy soft hair on her son's head.

A few minutes later Phil placed a plate with three pancakes and a small pile of bacon in front of her, and a bigger stack of pancakes in the middle of the table. A second later a plate piled high with bacon was set beside it. Natasha handed Nick to Phil and grabbed a pancake and a small hand full of bacon on her plate, drizzling a small bit of strawberry syrup over her pancake.

Thor's plate consisted of five pancakes and a handful of bacon, both drowned in maple syrup. Bree made herself and Tony a plate, both with a pancake and a few pieces of bacon. Tony seemed like he was mostly asleep, but after being up the last three days, Clara wasn't surprised. Steve's plate was similar to Thor's only with one less pancake, and Phil simply stole a piece of bacon from Clara's plate, smiling at her. Clara smiled back, content with her family.

Chapter Text

When Clara woke up, she blinked slowly before smiling widely and getting up, following the sound of soft fussing that had woken her up. She smiled at the baby who was kicking his feet and waving his hands in his crib.

"Hey little man, what's up huh?" she asked, gently picking the baby up, he quiets down a little but he's still fussing softly so Clara knows that he didn't just want held. She hummed to him softly as she walks towards the en suite kitchen and pulls a bottle of pre made formula from the fridge. She fills a small pan with water and places the bottle inside, letting it heat up. Phil came into the kitchen just as Clara removed the pan from the burner, and gave them both a quick kiss before shooing Clara away as he started the coffee, assuring her he'd bring her the bottle when it was cool enough.

XXX

An hour later and Phil and Clara made their way up to the Communal living room to join the other Avengers for breakfast before the had to get ready for the day ahead of them. A banner had been hung up, and the rest of the Avengers were standing there smiling. Natasha swooped in and snatched Nikki from Clara's arms, cuddling him, and speaking softly in Russian.

It had been a month since Nick was born, and today was the day they would officially be adopting the baby, and the other Avengers had decided that it should be celebrated, and had planned a small party, that would begin as soon as they returned from the court house.

Pauline and Phil's mother had flown in yesterday, due to the fact that Pauline had to be present to sign the paper work, and their mother refused to be left behind when given the chance to see her grandson again. They had decided to stay in a hotel the night before however, both knowing how worried Clara was about Pauline changing her mind.

XXX

Nick was dressed in a little blue onesie, a pair of black pants, and a tiny pair of baby dress shoes on his feet. Clara had laughed and said he looked like a tiny version of Phil. Phil was dressed in a navy suit with a light blue dress shirt and a red tie. Clara had decided to match her husband and wear a deep red blouse that Natasha had picked up for her one day, and a pair of black dress pants with a dressy pair of black boots with a small heel.

The other Avengers were dressed up as well, Tony in one of his expensive tailored suits, and Bree beside him in an emerald green dress that fell to her knees with a flowing skirt, her short curly hair neatly pinned back in the front. Natasha was dressed in a dark red dress with a black belt around her waist and a pair of black heels with red soles. Steve was wearing a pair black dress pants, and a white dress shirt, with a gray striped tie. And Thor was dressed in a pair of black dress pants, and a red dress shirt.

"Did you guys plan to match or what?" Tony asked, eyeing Clara, Natasha, Phil and Thor.

"I decided to match Phil, Thor and Natasha were a coincidence" Clara replied smiling.

"We have to leave now or we'll be late for our appointment" Phil said, the others quickly piled into the elevator.

XXX

Pauline and Phil's mother were waiting outside the court house for them. Pauline was wearing a white dress, and Phil's mother was dressed in a pale blue shirt and a long matching skirt, a white sun hat with a light blue trim around it was placed on her head.

Victoria reached for her grandson as soon as Phil had picked him up out of his car seat. Phil smiled at her, handing the baby to her and watching as she cooed at him, nuzzling one of his chubby cheeks.

Pauline smiled at her brother, wanting to rush forward and hug him, but she was worried that it would be unwelcome. Despite it being a month, she could still technically change her mind until the paperwork was signed. Phil shook his head at her, as though he could read her mind, and in a way he probably could, Phil had always been the best at figuring out was was wrong with her. He pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her forehead. Clara hugs her as well when Phil pulls away, and she smiled.

XXX

It doesn't take long too sign the papers, maybe twenty minutes, and then Nicolas Paul Coulson is officially the son of Philip James Coulson and Clara Francine Barton. Afterwards the family heads back to Avengers tower to celebrate.

Chapter Text

It had been three years since Nicolas or Nikki as everyone called him had joined the Avengers as a member of the little family they had created. Phil and Clara had been married now for six years, and they were just as happy as they had always been. A few new members had joined their family as well now in the forms of Sam Wilson, the synthetic humanoid Vision and Wanda Maximoff.

Sam was Nikki's favorite other then his mommy of course. Sam would take him flying sometimes when Mommy and Daddy asked him to babysit. It was Sam and Nikki's little secret. The others were nice too though. Vision talked funny, but he always played with Nikki when he asked. And Wanda would read to him, and would sometimes sneak him a cookie.

Today was a special day though, so Sam couldn't take him flying, and Vision promised to play with him when he wasn't busy. Wanda had snuck him a cookie though, before ruffling his dark hair with a smile and going to help Bree with something. Today was Steve's birthday, so everyone was helping to decorate, or do whatever else needed done. Nikki wasn't by himself though, mommy had asked Steve to keep an eye on him, and that meant Nikki could get Loki to show him some magic tricks. Mommy didn't like magic, and worried that Nikki would be hurt, but Nikki knew that as long as uncle Steve was watching him, he would be okay. He knew that the others besides Steve and Thor weren't sure if they could trust Loki. He wasn't really sure what Loki had done, but Loki had said that it wasn't something he was proud of and was trying to make amends for. Nikki liked Loki though, he was always willing to do tricks for him. But sometimes Loki would get this sad look on his face when he looked at Nikki. Mommy had told him not to ask though, that it wasn't something for little ears to hear.

When Uncle Steve opened the door to his room, Loki was sitting on the couch reading a book. He was wearing a soft looking pair of sleep pants and an over sized t-shirt that Nikki knew belonged to uncle Steve. Loki looked up when the door closed, and smiled before closing his book and setting it on the table in front of him before holding his arms open for Nikki to run into. Loki sat him on his lap, before creating a small butterfly with his magic and sending it flying around the room. Nikki laughed watching as the butterfly flew around uncle Steve's head before perching on his blond hair. Uncle Steve shook his head dislodging the butterfly which turned into a dragon and blew a plume of green smoke at him.

Mommy came to get him when it was almost time for the party, and smiled when Nikki started telling her about his day. He told her about the butterfly and the dragon that Loki had made, and how Uncle Steve had given him piggy back rides. Mommy thanked uncle Steve before picking Nikki up and carrying him back to their own rooms.

XXX

A few days later during a team dinner, Uncle Tony stood up, clearing his throat until the other Avenger's stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him. Uncle Tony smiled and put one of his hands on Aunt Bree's shoulder.

"Bree and I have some news we wanted to share with you, our family. We're having a baby" uncle Tony said, smiing widely. The other Avengers cheered, all of them congratulating them. Aunt Bree smiled brightly, one hand on her belly