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Waverly: "I've flown halfway around the world (on the private UNCLE jet and had to have local security find secure luxury hotel accommodations for myself, my bodyguards, and the flight crew) to tell you, Mr. Solo and you, Mr., er, Kuhmumble, that it is imperative that Current Bad Guy be stopped! The fate of the Free World depends upon it!"
Napoleon: "Oh, I thought we were just supposed to sort of check up on what Bad Guy was doing if we had time between lounging on the beach and taking pretty girls dancing. I guess you want us to go infiltrate his lair or something?"
Kuryakin: "When you say 'free world' do you mean Western Democracy? Because my government didn't send me here just to support the decadent capitalist regimes in grinding down the workers... Ouch! Napoleon stop kicking me!"
Waverly: "Yes, Mr. Solo! Infiltrate or something and do it right away! There is no time to lose!"
Solo: "Yes sir. I'll have Illya dress as a mermaid and swim around the island looking for sewage drains or something, to crawl through. Once he is inside, they'll capture him, and they will be so busy beating the snot out of him that they will lower their guard. Then I can wander in the front door and shoot everybody."
Waverly: "Brilliant Mr. Solo! This is why you are our top operative! Now that the matter is in hand, I'm going to fly back to New York immediately. Dancer and Slate are in Venice and probably need my expert guidance on the scene."
Illya: "Sir, you are only an hour away from Venice. There is no need to get there via New York."
Waverly: "I need more tobacco from New York! It isn't easy traveling around gingering up you fellows, you know, need some creature comforts." Exit Waverly speaking to female staff, "Speaking of creature comforts, my dear..."
Illya: "Why do I always have to be the one who gets captured and tortured? You could get captured and then I could go in, plant bombs, and blow everything up!"
Napoleon: "First, because it would muss my hair and I have a hot date tonight, second because this plan requires dressing like a mermaid and everyone knows mermaids are blonde, and thirdly because I'm pulling rank."