Chapter Text
"Ready for another groundbreaking episode?"
"How can you even be that energetic this early?" Kamie asked back, plopping down in the chair next to Nev and smiling at his steadfast bubiliness.
"I have two kids, I'm no stranger to being up when I don't want to be," Nev laughed in response, stretching out his arms towards the long table in front of them before cracking open the laptop.
"Fair enough," Kamie sighed while picking up her trusty handheld camera to capture all the action destined to ensue. "So who do we have today?"
"There's an email here that's subject line reads 'My Friend Is A Proper Idiot'."
"Straight to the point," Kamie laughed, resting her elbow on the table and propping her head up in the palm of her hand.
"It says: Hey guys, my name is John Richard Deacon and I was born August the nineteenth in Leicester, England...and my current London flatmate, Roger, is definitely being catfished. He won't believe anything I say so I figured you were my last resort. I know you don't usually go overseas to the U.K. but I think you might be able to get through to him more than I can. Please ring me up if you're up for the challenge."
"Up for the challenge," Kamie repeated, quirking her eyebrow at the mysterious ending.
"I haven't been to England in a while so let's give him a call," Nev smiled, pulling his phone from his pocket.
"Are we gonna gloss over the fact that he said his birthday and full name like that?" Kamie asked, looking between her cohost and the crew stationed behind the cameras.
"Maybe it's a British thing!" Nev tried to defend, his sincerity severely undermined by his poorly concealed giggle.
"It is totally not."
"Shh, it's ringing."
The familiar Skype ringtone filled the room, an exciting anticipation similar to each time they were set to see a new face desperate for their help. The cohosts enthusiastically greeted the briefly grainy picture, Kamie making sure to point the camera at the screen. A timid face came into focus, waving back at them before tucking a long piece of wavy brown hair behind his ear.
"Nice to see you, John!" Nev grinned, clasping his hands together and leaning his weight against the desk.
"Likewise, likewise," John's muffled voice answered over the less than ideal laptop speakers.
“So tell us a little about yourself and what’s been going on with your friend.”
“Well, I moved to London about a year ago to start at university and ended up meeting Roger just at a pub one night nearby. We talked about both being broke students and he wanted to move away from his past flatmates so I drunkenly suggested he live with me.”
“John, John, John,” Kamie scolded, the smile tugging at her lips showing she wasn’t being that serious about admonishing his behavior.
“I know, I don’t always make the best decisions,” John laughed in return, shifting in his to briefly reveal more of the small living room set behind him. “But we quickly became best mates and the rest is history until he met this guy on Grindr who is one-thousand percent not who he says he is.”
“What makes you think so?” Nev asked, already anticipating the answer.
“It’s like all of the textbook signs; they never video chat, he won’t send any pictures and this other guy apparently also lives in London but won’t meet up.”
“Has he ever seen the show?” Kamie laughed, throwing her hands up in a bewildered gesture.
“Yes! But he refuses to believe it’s not him and-”
A loud creaking and abrupt closing of a door cut the young brunette off, all three of the video call participants getting distracted by the noise.
“Hey Deaky, who ya talking to?” A distant voice asked, making Nev and Kamie turn to each other with curious looks.
“Just come here, Rog,” John wickedly smiled, frantically waving the other person over.
A similarly young looking blonde entered the frame, immediately covering his mouth in shock and audibly gasping. “This cannot be happening! You actually called them?” He yelled, playfully using his free hand to shove John’s shoulder as the brunette laughed at his friend’s reaction.
“You must be Roger,” Nev laughed along with John.
“Yes,” Roger sighed, pulling up another chair to sit in front of the computer as John scooted over to make room. “This is absolutely embarrassing.”
“Well John did say he’s tried to warn you before,” Kamie interjected, holding her finger up matter-of-factly.
“He has, but I didn’t think he’d literally call Catfish on me.”
“John was just about to tell us about this guy you’ve been talking to if you’d like to fill us in instead,” Nev spoke, cracking a smile at the blonde’s eye roll.
“Well his name is Brian and I met him on Grindr a few months ago but we mostly just text now. He’s really sweet and bold, and I’ve tried to meet him several times but he always skips out at the last minute.”
“Have you ever talked on the phone?” Kamie asked, tilting her head.
“I’ve asked to call him but he says he’s too nervous for that or video chatting.”
Nev pursed his lips at the explanation, clearly not buying the excuse and having done the show too long to think “Brian” was being honest.
“Thank you,” John sighed, gesturing to Nev’s skeptical expression. “And he’s only ever seen, like two pictures of him.” The blonde seemed shameful of his friend’s details about the situation, blushing and shoving John again at the statements.
“Is this a serious thing to you?” Kamie genuinely asked, already feeling some sort of sympathy for Roger. “Like have you been talking to only him?”
“Y-yeah,” Roger stuttered, obviously getting more embarrassed by the second.
“Which is ridiculous,” John added, glancing over at his friend, “because there’s hundreds of other girls and blokes that would die for a chance with him.”
“They would not!” Roger defended, nervously shifting his gaze away from the brunette. Nev and Kamie laughed in unison at John shaking his head in disagreement, gaining a fondness for the two friends despite the short time they’d spent talking.
“So Roger,” Nev spoke, moving the conversation forward to save the blonde from any more blatant embarrassment brought on by his roommate, “would you be interested in us coming there and getting to the bottom of all of this?”
“Sure, I’d love to prove John wrong,” Roger smiled, poking his friend in the side.
“Perfect, we’ll see you soon.”
“Nice meeting you both!” Kamie added before ending the call and turning to Nev with a wide grin. “There’s no way this Brian guy can be who he says, he’s definitely hiding something.”
“I agree, but there’s always that sliver of hope that it is him.”
“At least Roger has John looking out for him,” Kamie joked, thinking about the way the two men interacted as if they’d known each other forever.
“I think they’re friendship goals,” Nev added sincerely, making Kamie scoff at his terrible use of modern slang.
“You did not just say ‘friendship goals’.”
“I did, now let’s go to London!” Nev yelled, quickly changing the subject and eagerly standing from his chair.
“This will be an interesting show…”