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Chapter Text

Lan Xichen was frustrated. It wasn’t an usual feeling for him: his temperament was usually calm and collected - annoyance and frustration were by no means his defining traits. But after the archery competition in the afternoon and the incident involving Wangji and young master Wei…

Lan Xichen loved his little brother deeply, but Wangji could be such a stubborn idiot sometimes.

***

A few hours earlier, he had been as shocked as his fellow disciples when raised voices had distracted them from the ongoing competition. They had approached and been presented with an outrageous scene: young master Wei was holding Wangji’s forehead ribbon in his hand, with something suspiciously akin to a panicked look on his face.

Wangji’s expression was dark, his hand was clenching his bow, and to all spectators, it probably seemed like he was angry enough to kill young master Wei on the spot. To Lan Xichen though, he seemed confused and flustered rather than angry. (Now that he thought about it, this was a look his brother often displayed around the Jiang sect’s head disciple.) Young master Wei had let go of the ribbon the moment Wangji snatched it from his hands, and had wandered off with a sheepish and confused look on his face.

After the ribbon incident, Lan Xichen had talked to Wangji for a while, trying to calm him down, but his brother had still left the competition early. He didn’t even stay for the results announcement, and retired to the lodgings assigned to the Lan sect. This reaction was notably excessive, even for someone as rule-abiding as Wangji. The more Lan Xichen thought about it, the more his suspicions about his brother’s feelings towards young master Wei deepened. He didn’t know what, but he had to do something about it.

***

It was almost Hai Shi, and night had fallen not too long ago. It was filled with the chirp of insects in the residual heat of the Qishan summer. The conference was hosted by the Wen clan and the lodgings they had been assigned, although clean and acceptable, were not as spacious or lavish as what politeness would have normally dictated. Some other sects would have minded, but the material aspect of things was of little consequence to the Lan sect. The slight of it was another matter, though. He knew his uncle had been angry at it, even if he did his best not to show his reaction to Wen Ruohan.

Still, Lan Xichen couldn’t help but to admire the landscape as he walked towards his room. The region was mountainous and the path leading to the Lan sect lodgings ran alongside a cliff. On his left, the landscape was spectacular, as the first stars and the rising moon shone on steep ravines and high peaks, reflecting here and there on a few mountain lakes. Lan Xichen was so absorbed in the view that he almost did an undignified jolt when he heard a splash of water to his right.

He searched for the source of the sound, and saw a small pond lined with bulrush, with a lonely weeping willow on its bank. Young master Wei was sitting on its bough with a contemplative look on his face, throwing the occasional pebble in the water below. Lan Xichen remembered that the Jiang sect lodgings were not too far from their own. The Jiang sect’s head disciple looked lost in thought, and he hadn’t seen the older cultivator on the pathway.

Lan Xichen was suddenly reminded of the incident in the afternoon, and his frustration returned. These two were such a disaster. When young master Wei had studied at the Cloud Recesses, he had been eager to get closer to Wangji, and Lan Xichen was happy to see his brother finally open up to someone his age. He could see that the noisy, annoying youth had made quite the impression on his reserved, quiet little brother, although Wangji would always deny it. His protests of indifference were quite cute, in Lan Xichen's opinion, but he had hoped Wei Wuxian wouldn’t be discouraged by Wangji’s apparent rejection.

Then, young master Wei had been expelled, and Wangji had returned to his studious and silent routine. On the surface, he was the same as ever – but to Lan Xichen, it seemed like there was a hint of distraction or sadness on his brother’s face from time to time, whenever Yunmeng or the Jiang sect was evoked. He was quite sure that Wangji himself didn’t know why exactly. His brother didn’t have friends before young master Wei, and Lan Xichen also suspected Wangji’s feelings went deeper than simple friendship.

He couldn’t presume to know young master Wei’s feelings on the matter – after all, the Jiang sect’s head disciple had quite the reputation as a flirt and a tease – but he still wanted to make things right for Wangji. After all, if Wei Wuxian was his brother’s only friend, he couldn’t let them drift apart because of a simple misunderstanding about a forehead ribbon! He had a feeling that young master Wei didn’t even know what the ribbon meant, and that his gesture in the afternoon was not malicious. The youth could be mischievous sometimes, but from what Lan Xichen had seen and heard, his jokes were never harmful.

***

He approached the pond and cleared his throat to make his presence known. Young master Wei did a small jerk, caught a nearby branch to steady himself, and looked at him with an almost guilty expression. “Zewu-Jun! I didn’t know you were here, I didn’t ignore you on purpose…” He inclined his head to greet the other, and Lan Xichen returned the gesture.

“Young master Wei, I didn’t get to congratulate you earlier on your first place in the competition… Your archery skills are quite impressive,” he commented with a smile.

Wei Wuxian laughed, but his expression was a bit sheepish. “Ah, you’re flattering me Zewu-jun! We were almost tied for first place after all! And…” His expression darkened as his voice trailed off: “…I’m pretty sure Lan Zhan would have been ranked higher if he hadn’t left early because of me…”

Lan Xichen felt a rush of sympathy towards young master Wei. He was right in his earlier assumptions: the younger cultivator’s intentions hadn’t been malicious, and he regretted his actions. He obviously would care enough about Wangji to apologize properly and make things right if he was just given the right push, in the right direction… Which Lan Xichen was happy to provide.

He asked calmly: “Do you know why Wangji left?” Wei Wuxian should have been aware of the meaning attached to the Lan sect’s forehead ribbon, considering he had copied the rules quite a few times during his stay at the Cloud Recesses… But it didn’t hurt to remind him, especially considering how confused he had seemed after the incident.

Wei Wuxian shrugged, letting out a helpless laugh: “Because he hates me? I mean, he’s always annoyed at me… Whatever I do, there’s always something wrong… I mean, I was teasing him at the start of the competition when I said his ribbon was crooked – but it was actually the truth the second time! I just wanted to help him fix it and I ended up taking it off…” He was rambling now, his gaze lost in the pond below, a frown on his face. He focused again on the older cultivator: “But still, don’t you think his reaction was a bit excessive? It's just a ribbon, no matter how pristine it looks!”

Lan Xichen’s smile widened and took a teasing edge: “Young master Wei, don’t you know the meaning of the Lan sect’s forehead ribbon? I was under the impression that you had quite a lot of time to get acquainted with our sect’s rules during your stay at the Cloud Recesses…”

His teasing had young master Wei lower his head with a pout and a frustrated groan. “Zewu-jun, do you really think I paid attention when I was copying them? I don’t remember half of them… I mean no disrespect towards your sect, but you do have way too many rules…”

Lan Xichen laughed quietly and decided to have mercy on the younger cultivator. “The forehead ribbon holds a deep meaning to members of our sect, young master Wei. Essentially, it means ‘to regulate oneself’. Since no one should let go of their regulations unless they are with someone they trust deeply, very few are permitted to touch it or take it off.”

He could see his words were making their way into Wei Wuxian’s mind. The youth looked at him with newfound focus, and asked: “Very few?”

“Indeed. Such an intimate gesture is reserved to close family or cultivation partners.”

Wei Wuxian gaped at him, a flush rapidly spreading on his face. He laughed nervously: “Cultivation partners?” He blinked at Lan Xichen, and his silence was confirmation enough. He exclaimed, with a look of horrified understanding: “No wonder Lan Zhan was so angry with me! And I did that in front of everyone… He must hate me so much right now!”

Lan Xichen could see all the wrong conclusions forming inside Wei Wuxian’s head: the youth looked about to go hide in his room and resign himself to not talking to Wangji ever again – which was the opposite from Lan Xichen’s goal when he started the conversation.

He sighed, and took his most persuasive voice to correct Wei Wuxian’s ramblings: “I doubt my brother could ever feel anger or hate towards you, young master Wei. To me, he looked upset and confused – not hateful.”

The younger cultivator frowned at him in disbelief: “Zewu-jun, have you seen your brother’s reactions whenever I try to talk to him? How can you say he doesn’t hate me? Especially after this afternoon… Why wouldn’t he be angry after what I did? He has every right to be, even if it wasn’t on purpose!”

Lan Xichen patiently made his case: “Young master Wei, you’ve probably noticed by now that my little brother is not the most social person you’ve ever met. Most people get scared off by his aloof demeanor, and he hasn’t made any friends since he was a child.” At that, Wei Wuxian sighed and looked thoughtfully at his own lap.

Lan Xichen continued: “This is why he was quite troubled by the bold way in which you approached him at first – but I know for a fact that he wasn’t unhappy with it. Unsettled, yes. It was quite new to him after all… But I know he considers you as his one and only friend. You matter a lot to him, young master Wei; although he wouldn’t admit it. This is why it upsets Wangji when he thinks you’re teasing him on purpose: to him, it looks like you care little about his feelings…”

Wei Wuxian interrupted him with a helpless, frustrated protest: “But I do care! I’ve wanted to be friends with Lan Zhan ever since I first met him! How can he not see that?”

Lan Xichen thought he had maybe overdone it with his reprimands, as Wei Wuxian looked more agitated and emotional than he had ever seen him. He still decided he should strike while the iron was hot, and dealt the final blow: “Then maybe you should tell him. You were in the wrong this afternoon, but you acted in good faith: therefore, you should apologize to Wangji, and explain the situation to him. I’m sure he will understand if you are as genuine with him as you are with me right now…”

Wei Wuxian looked at him with wide eyes. He thought about it for a few seconds, then smiled nervously: “You know what? Zewu-jun, I think you’re right… I should definitely apologize and make things right with Lan Zhan…”

Lan Xichen did an internal cheer and returned young master Wei’s smile: “Of course I’m right. Then, I shall leave you to enjoy your evening: it is almost Hai Shi and I need to prepare for the night. I do hope that you’ll make time to talk with Wangji before we leave in the morning…”

The Jiang sect’s head disciple nodded enthusiastically: “I will! Thank you, Zewu-jun! Have a good night!”

***

Lan Xichen finished his stroll with a smile on his face. As he went back to his lodgings and prepared for sleep, he hoped he had done enough to solve the misunderstanding between these two. He didn’t know if he was right to assume that Wangji felt more than regular friendship towards young master Wei, but he was at least sure that he cared deeply for the other youth. He wanted his little brother to open up about his feelings – and to do that, he needed to actually talk with Wei Wuxian.

Besides, judging by the conversation they just had, young master Wei seemed to also care a lot about Wangji. His reactions were very spontaneous: he had seemed genuinely distressed at the idea of hurting Wangji, and the revelation of the forehead ribbon’s meaning had him… not just embarrassed, but also… flustered? It could just be Lan Xichen’s wishful interpretations, but he was very curious to see how things would unfold between his brother and young master Wei.

Maybe there was hope yet for these two.

Chapter Text

So… Wei Ying had a problem. In fact, if he had to be honest with himself, he had quite a few.

His first problem was simple enough to solve – in theory. He really wanted to see Lan Zhan right now. He was already thinking about him before his conversation with Lan Xichen, and it was even worse now.

The second problem was a bit more difficult. He needed to apologize to Lan Zhan for touching – and taking off – his forehead ribbon. Now, the question was: how did he get the other youth to believe him when he told him it had totally been an unfortunate accident? Lan Zhan had been so angry in the afternoon… Wei Ying wanted to believe Lan Xichen’s words when he told him Lan Zhan didn’t really hate him, but he had seen that look in the Second Jade’s eyes when he had snatched the ribbon from his hands… (For some reason, that look had hurt him more than it should have.)

The third problem was the trickiest. Wei Ying probably should have addressed all the thoughts and feelings that had shot through his head and tightened his chest, making it hard to breathe for a minute, when Lan Xichen had explained the meaning of said forehead ribbon. Really, how was he supposed to react knowing he had defiled Lan Zhan’s Sacred Ribbon of Chastity?? And why the hell would the Lan sect members wear such an important thing on their forehead, fluttering in the wind, where anyone could touch it (accidentally, of course!)?

Yeah, he should have sorted out these feelings.

Which is why he did the only thing he could possibly have done in this mess of a situation: in a not-so-brave, maybe-kind-of-cowardly fashion, he decided to think about literally anything else but that.

He resolutely turned his gaze away from Lan Xichen’s back as the First Jade walked towards his apartments, trying really hard not to think about Lan Zhan being right there in the Lan sects lodgings at this very moment. He could not go and apologize right now, it was almost Hai Shi and Lan Zhan would hate him even more if he disturbed his going-to-sleep routine, and– And just why did the thought of Lan Zhan hating him made him feel like he was going to throw up, exactly?

…Right, anything else but that.

***

Anything else turned out to be a reverie about cultivation partners in general, and ‘What would Lan Zhan be like with his cultivation partner’ in particular. It was a completely normal train of thought: after all, Lan Xichen was the one who had talked about cultivation partners first, so… Technically not Wei Ying’s idea.

(He definitely did not flush at the thought that he had done something to Lan Zhan only a cultivation partner was supposed to do. It was just the heat of the Qishan summer getting to him. Totally normal. Maybe he should take a dive in the pond. Or in a freezing mountain stream. The cold springs of Gusu crossed his mind, and the memory of Lan Zhan standing bare in the spring somehow made the air around him even hotter. Right, anything else.)

So. Cultivation partners.

Wei Ying had never given much thought about what he would look for in such a relationship. In some corner of his mind, he disliked the thought of tying himself down to someone – maybe he valued his freedom too much for that? Since he had been adopted by Jiang Fengmian, he had been given a prime example of two people who were prisoners of a marriage that made them miserable. And Shijie’s failed engagement to the Jin sect’s peacock had been a mess from start to finish.

Yet, he had a feeling that being cultivation partners could mean something else entirely.

He didn’t remember much about his parents except a few vivid images of a loving family – a spicy dinner shared while talking and laughing, a ride on a donkey’s back in his mother’s arms, his father waving at him with a smile… The memories were rare, and all the more precious – deep down, he knew he wanted something like that if he was ever to marry: a simple, loving family.

What would Wei Ying look for in his cultivation partner? They would have to enjoy the same kind of simple lifestyle he wanted, so… definitely not someone like the snobbish peacocks of the Jin sect who couldn’t live one day without wiping themselves with silk.

Also, they would have to be fun to be around – not necessarily someone who talked and joked a lot – Wei Ying was confident he could do that for the two of them – but someone who would give great reactions and be fun to tease…

They probably would need a high cultivation level, because Wei Ying really liked going on night hunts, fighting dangerous monsters and protecting the weak, and he had a feeling that it would be amazing to fight alongside someone as gifted as he was. Someone righteous and strong, someone he could count on, someone who would have Wei Ying’s back like he would have theirs…

Wei Ying wouldn’t mind them being beautiful either – maybe it was a bit superficial, but he considered himself quite handsome and he thought it would do badly to outshine his partner, so… Yeah, a pretty face would do just fine – he was reasonable, he wasn’t looking for the most beautiful person alive (he had a feeling that it would be difficult to find someone more objectively beautiful than Lan Zhan anyway).

Did he have other criteria? Not really… He shouldn’t be too greedy.

So: a beautiful person with high cultivation, who was not materialistic and had their heart in the right place, and who would be fun to stay around… Huh. Maybe he actually was a lot pickier than he had imagined in the first place. Did he even know someone who would fit this description? He couldn’t think of anyone, except– …Anyone.

He distractedly threw another pebble in the pond below, trying to imagine what Lan Zhan would look for in a cultivation partner.

Probably a quiet, demure girl who would fit right into the Lan sect. She would be very pretty of course – she should at least come close to matching the Second Jade’s peerless beauty. She would cook for him and eat with him in silence – Lan Zhan wouldn’t have to tell her not to talk during meals, because she would be respectful of the Lan sect’s rules… And maybe Lan Zhan would open up to her and thank her with that little smile that Wei Ying had only seen once or twice, the secret smile that had taken his breath away like a rare, precious gift…

And– why exactly was it so hard to breathe right now? The nauseous feeling Wei Ying had experienced before at the thought of Lan Zhan hating him was suddenly back at full force, made even worse by the way his chest ached… Was he sick? It felt like he had swallowed a stone for dinner and the thing was dropping inside his stomach, heavy and cold. Seriously… What was wrong with him?

He had been weird since the ribbon incident this afternoon – even Jiang Cheng had asked him if he was all right… (Well, he had told him to ‘Stop sighing like a pining maiden, it’s ridiculous – and just why are you wallowing exactly, you just won the tournament’, which had led him to march out of the dining hall to go sulk in the first tree he had found.)

Wei Ying blamed Lan Xichen for making things even worse… He would have been just fine not ever addressing the incident, but no, the man just had to stir the mess of his emotions… Just what was he supposed to do now? He had told the First Jade that he would apologize to Lan Zhan and make things right, and he had meant it at the time… But he knew he would probably still be asleep when the Lan sect would leave the next day, what with their ungodly sleep hours…

The sound of a gong interrupted his messy, panicked thoughts. It startled Wei Ying, who almost took a dive in the pond… Was it Hai Shi already? Wait… Did he just miss his only chance to talk to Lan Zhan because he was too busy wallowing, as Jiang Cheng had so elegantly put it? That wouldn’t do! He had to hurry and talk to him right now, before he fell asleep! Suddenly there was nothing more important in the world than to see Lan Zhan, right now, without delay.

***

Wei Ying jumped from his bough to the edge of the pond. He stumbled a bit upon landing – why did he feel like all his agility and nimbleness had suddenly deserted him? He groaned and started running towards the Lan sect’s lodgings, praying to all the gods in the Heavens that no ill-advised disciple would have the bad idea to patrol outside Lan Zhan’s room at this very moment.

He had no idea what he would do or say, but he absolutely didn’t want to think about it while running to his destination – he feared he would entirely give up on his endeavor if he gave it too much thought. He ran along the pathway, not paying any mind to the landscape. He jumped across a stream instead of following the path when it took a detour he deemed too long. When he finally arrived at the Lan sect’s lodgings, he halted abruptly.

He had no idea where Lan Zhan’s room was.

Wei Ying took a deep breath, trying not to panic. Right… Lan Xichen. He had to find Lan Xichen. The older cultivator had left him a while ago, but Wei Ying had run all the way while Lan Xichen had walked leisurely – surely the man wasn’t asleep yet? Maybe he wasn’t even inside his room? If Wei Ying could find him, he was sure Lan Zhan would be right next door…

He walked briskly around a few houses and halls of different sizes, ignored a building that was obviously a dormitory of some sort but looked clearly unworthy of a clan’s heir and his brother – he knew the Wens had been rude when they made the arrangements for their accommodations, but surely they wouldn’t be that rude…

Then he saw them: two small detached houses, not too far from one another, that looked remarkably similar to the ones Jiang Cheng and himself had been assigned. More importantly: he saw Lan Xichen’s back disappear into one of them, then the door closed behind him. Wei Ying noted in a corner of his mind that he was glad Lan Qiren hadn’t caught his eldest nephew coming back after curfew – he would have hated to be the cause of yet another Jade breaking a rule.

He ran all the way to the other house, and stopped in front of the door. So… What was the next step? Was Lan Zhan still awake? He took a big breath, and knocked on the wooden frame of the door.

He waited.

There was no sound inside, so he knocked again and said in a quiet tone, almost whispered: “Lan Zhan… Lan Zhan, I hope you’re not asleep, I really need to talk to you… Please open the door…”

He waited again. He was starting to wonder if he should break open the door or climb through a window – the more rational part of his mind had pretty much given up on him at this point – when he heard a rustle of cloth and saw the light of a single candle shine through the thick paper of the door.

Then the wooden frame of the door slid open in silence, and Lan Zhan was right here in front of him.

Wei Ying suddenly forgot how to breathe. Lan Zhan was more beautiful than anyone had the right to be, it was almost unfair at this point. How could he look so good right after rising from his bed? The other youth just stood there, haloed by the candle light, looking like an immortal who had just descended from the Heavens. Wei Ying couldn’t help but to notice the way Lan Zhan had just donned his outer robe to open the door, but the layer of inner clothing he had worn to bed could still be seen underneath…

He focused on Lan Zhan’s face, trying not to look at the way his raven hair cascaded on his shoulders, not a single lock out of place. It was always hard to tell with him, but Wei Ying could have sworn Lan Zhan was frowning a little. The incriminating ribbon was on his forehead, and it looked like the pristine piece of cloth was silently judging Wei Ying’s disheveled state.

Wei Ying suddenly grew very self-conscious. Maybe it would have been a good idea to smooth his robes out a bit and do his hair again before he knocked on Lan Zhan’s door to wake him, on second thought. He probably looked awful right now, with his robes half opened on the front from all the running he had done, and he just knew a few rebellious strands of hair had escaped from his ponytail… Gods, was Lan Zhan going to kick him out before they even talked because he was too unsightly?

“Wei Ying.”

For some reason, Lan Zhan’s low voice sent shivers down his spine. Oh gosh, he definitely was sick, wasn’t he? He blinked at the other youth and tried to remember how to speak.

“Lan Zhan, I… I’m really sorry for disturbing you after Hai Shi… But can we talk? I want– I need to apologize for this afternoon, and I don’t want us to part on bad terms…” He gave his most sheepish look to Lan Zhan, hoping it would quell his anger at being kept awake after curfew.

Lan Zhan looked at him for a few seconds. He blinked. Then a miracle happened: he let out a small sigh and stepped to the side, gesturing at his visitor to enter. Wei Ying couldn’t believe his luck – was Lan Zhan sick too? That was the only explanation for the absence of ‘Ridiculous!’ or ‘Shameless!’ – right?

Taking a big breath, he entered, and Lan Zhan closed the door behind him.

Chapter Text

Lan Wangji was in a sullen mood this evening.

Not that anyone except his brother would have noticed, as he was sitting in front of his guqin, his face inexpressive as ever, his long fingers strumming a beautiful melody. To the exterior eye, he looked like a peaceful jade statue – not showing anything of the storm going through his head and ravaging his heart.

The storm had a name: Wei Ying. The storm had been in his life for a year and a half, sometimes receding, sometimes unexpectedly ravaging his heart in a whirlwind of emotions – never truly leaving him. Today had been one of the whirlwind days.

He had thought that the storm would calm down after Wei Ying had left the Cloud Recesses. He had lied to himself, tried to convince himself that he was glad the troublemaker would finally stop harassing him. How wrong he had been. Wei Ying’s absence hadn’t quelled his emotions, it had just left Wangji alone to face them and acknowledge them.

When Wei Ying was there, acting ridiculously, teasing him, he could still pretend that all he was feeling was annoyance and indignation at his actions. But the troublemaker wasn’t around anymore. Wei Ying wasn’t acting out, he wasn’t teasing him– And oh, how he missed it now…

How he missed him. He couldn’t pretend anymore, because everything felt dull after Wei Ying’s departure. Before, Wangji had thought that he would have been content, returning to the life he had led before – the life he was used to. But this life now seemed colorless, as if the sun couldn’t properly shine now that Wei Ying’s smile wasn’t here to challenge its light.

He had waited for the feelings to change, to subside at least – but the longing had only grown worse throughout the weeks and months, until he had no choice but to recognize a simple, yet world-changing truth: he was in love with Wei Ying.

And it hurt. It hurt so much. Because he knew his feelings would never be returned.

Of course, Wei Ying had said that they were close all the time, back when he was studying at the Cloud Recesses – but he was always making grand gestures and declarations to everyone around him – it didn’t mean anything special to him. Wei Ying had a lot of friends, his bright personality and sunny disposition attracted people; he had a natural charisma that anyone could see.

Of course, he had spent time joking around with Wangji, teasing him, giving him small presents and telling him he wanted them to be close – but that was all there was to it: teasing and jokes. At most, Wei Ying thought of him as a friend, one amongst many.

Wei Ying would never love Wangji. He had seen how the troublemaker flirted around with the girls of Caiyi town – at the time, he had carefully ignored the heartache he had felt watching him – he knew Wei Ying wasn’t a cutsleeve. And if, by some miracle, he was also attracted to men, that didn’t mean he would be attracted to Wangji.

Wangji was painfully aware that he was not enough for Wei Ying. The other youth was a storm, a wild bird; his ingenious spirit was always flying ahead, out of reach, where Wangji was afraid he would never be able to follow him. To Wei Ying, Wangji’s strict discipline was boring – he had said it quite a few times as he was trapped in the library, copying the Lan sect’s rules.

And acknowledging, almost at the same moment, that he loved Wei Ying and that Wei Ying would never love him had hurt him. Of course, he hadn’t talked about it to anyone, although he knew his brother suspected something. He had never been good at expressing his emotions through his words. And even if he could, what good would it do to share this burden with someone? It wasn’t like there was any hope for his love…

But the feelings had seeped out of him through the notes of his guqin, through the song he was playing right now, the song he had started to compose after Wei Ying’s departure from the clouds recesses. It had started as a few nostalgic notes plucked at random while he was daydreaming in the Jingshi. Day after day, week after week, he had refined the song, until it evoked the image of a smile brighter than the sun, shining under the clouds of Gusu…

The song didn’t have a name yet. But it was beautiful, thought Wangji. Anything that had to do with Wei Ying was beautiful, in a way.

His playing was interrupted by the gong signaling Hai Shi. He frowned: usually, he would have already been ready for bed at this time. Had he really been so perturbed by the incident in the afternoon that he had missed the passing of time? Then again, seeing Wei Ying again after so many months, after coming to terms with his feelings for him had been… exhilarating. And then, the sight of his ribbon in Wei Ying’s hands had unleashed a new kind of turmoil in his heart – and a fire in his gut he was ashamed of.

He shook his head and tried to erase the memory of the white piece of cloth held by calloused, agile fingers… This memory was just kindling the fire, and it really wasn’t the moment for that. He sighed and prepared for sleep. After he laid down under his covers, the candle blown out, he couldn’t find sleep. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t help thinking about the events of the afternoon.

Then, he heard a knock on his door.

***

At first, he thought he had dreamt it: the night was still, only insects could be heard, and no one would disturb him after curfew… Would they?

Then there was another knock, and he heard a soft voice outside: “Lan Zhan… Lan Zhan, I hope you’re not asleep, I really need to talk to you… Please open the door…”

His heart skipped a beat, then started pounding out of his chest. It was Wei Ying’s voice. Wei Ying was here. Outside his room. After curfew. Wei Ying needed to talk to him. What was it about? What if Wei Ying had figured out why Wangji’s reaction had been so strong in the afternoon? What if he knew? It was not possible, was it?

He shook off the thought. Wei Ying was here, waiting for him to open the door. For a second, he considered staying silent until he left – after all, the rules were strict on curfew observance… But he couldn’t do that. Wei Ying had said that he needed to talk to Wangji: what if it was some sort of emergency? He had to let him in. The rules also stated to help those in need, after all.

Wangji sat up on his bed, lighted the candle, donned his outer robe and went to unlatch and open the door. Wei Ying stood there.

Wei Ying was beautiful. He had obviously run all the way to Wangji’s lodgings, because his hair was a mess of raven locks, his face was red and his lips parted around shaky breaths. Wangji tried not to focus on those lips, but it turned out to be a bad idea because his eyes slid down to take in the way his robes were loose on the front, revealing way too much chest for Wangji’s sanity.

Gods, this was bad… Very bad. He could feel his ears burning. Wei Ying’s name escaped him, and when the other youth asked him if he could come in, his body moved on its own to let him in and close the door behind him. It was against the rules, but Wangji’s mind was too busy panicking to think of the rules at the moment.

***

They sat in silence, facing each other, a low table between them. Wangji’s eyes were set on Wei Ying, waiting for him to talk – he had said he wanted to apologize, after all. But Wei Ying was looking anywhere except at him. After a minute or two, Wangji felt that he had to say something; he took a breath, opened his mouth and started: “Wei Yi–”

“Look, I’m sorry Lan Zhan! I really, really am! The first time, when I said your ribbon was crooked… it was a stupid joke, but if I had known what it meant I wouldn’t have said it! Well, to be honest, maybe I would have – But you have to believe me, it was really crooked the second time! And I would have never touched it if I had known the meaning of the ribbon – even I have boundaries, you know! I didn’t mean to tease you – I wouldn’t go this far just to tease you – and – and then you were mad at me and you left, and I didn’t even get the chance to apologize, and I didn’t want you to leave for Gusu while we were on bad terms, so that’s why I needed to come and find you even though it’s past Hai Shi – and look, I’m also sorry for that but–”

“Wei Ying!” Interrupted Lan Zhan. The other youth finally stopped, panting from his onslaught of incoherent words. Lan Zhan’s head was spinning. He decided to address the ribbon problem first. “How could Wei Ying not know the meaning of the ribbon? You copied the rules many times.” He had a feeling he knew the answer to that one already: the troublemaker hadn’t been particularly focused during his copying sessions in the library.

Wei Ying confirmed it with a plaintive voice: “Lan Zhan, you know how dreadful my memory is! Why would I remember! I really didn’t know, you have to believe me!”

Lan Zhan lowered his gaze to the table, and asked: “Then how did you learn it?”

“Ah, your brother just told me… He saw me during his evening stroll and we talked a little. He… he explained that only… cultivation partners are meant to touch it.” There was an uncharacteristic hesitation in his tone. Lan Zhan looked at his face, in his eyes, and saw a strange vulnerability in there. An emotion that he couldn’t name – that he was afraid to put a name on.

Wangji was a bit angry at his brother for telling such a thing to Wei Ying, but perhaps it was a good thing if it meant that they wouldn’t leave each other on bad terms, as Wei Ying had put it. He set aside the thought to focus on the youth in front of him.

Wei Ying shifted a bit, as if he was uncomfortable sitting on his cushion. He leant in to ask: “Do you believe me Lan Zhan? Will you forgive me?”

His voice was soft and trembled a little. Hearing it, Wangji’s heart made summersaults in his chest. It made him want so much – hearing it, he could almost believe that Wei Ying was afraid to lose him, that their relationship meant as much to him as it meant to Wangji… It was maddening. Wei Ying was everything mad and wonderful in the world, and here he was, asking Wangji if he forgave him. How could he not?

“Forgiven,” he said, looking inside the grey depths of Wei Ying’s eyes. He could have lost himself gladly in those eyes, if only the troublemaker had let him. He sighed a little and turned his gaze away from the smile that spread like a sunrise on Wei Ying’s face and made his eyes sparkle.

“Great! That’s just… great! I’m glad…” Wei Ying relaxed, some of the tension leaving him, and leaned back with his arms stretched out behind him for support.

There was a pregnant pause. Wangji didn’t know what to say. If he was honest with himself, he really didn’t want Wei Ying to leave, but he also didn’t know how to continue the conversation. Sustaining a conversation had never been his strong suit, after all. And with Wei Ying sitting there with a grin on his face, still disheveled from his run… He had even less words to express himself.

Then Wei Ying fidgeted a little, turned his gaze away, cleared his throat, blushed a bit – what a vision that was – and finally asked: “Lan Zhan… Have you ever thought about what you would look for in a cultivation partner?”

To say that the question took Wangji by surprise would be quite the understatement. It would be more accurate to say that it unleashed a maelstrom of emotions on his mind and made his heart beat even faster, if that was even possible – was he going to have a heart attack? It would be an unseemly way to die, he thought in some corner of his mind that was still – somehow – rational.

Wei Ying was oblivious of Wangji’s inner turmoil, and continued, blushing even more – he was beet-red at this point: “I mean, you don’t have to answer, you know! It’s… It’s fine if you never thought about it! Totally fine! It’s just… Some people have this… ideal or whatever of the kind of person they would want as a cultivation partner, and I thought – maybe – you would have one too?”

Wangji was not very rational at this point. Maybe he was panicking a bit. Or a lot. His mind was filled with Wei Ying’s words, with his hesitations and vulnerability and blush, and it made some part of him hope that maybe, just maybe Wei Ying felt the same… Fighting through his mounting panic, he gave the only honest answer he could have ever given to the question of ‘what he would look for in a cultivation partner’…

“Wei Ying.”

***

The other youth visibly shuddered and sat up straight when he heard his name. Wangji mentally berated himself: what had he just said? Why did he have to say that? Had Wei Ying understood what he meant? No, he wouldn’t – it was just his name, Wangji had said it quite a few times already in the conversation – he wouldn’t guess his meaning…

Wei Ying looked into his eyes, and Wangji looked back. Then Wei Ying leaned in a little and his expression changed, like he had just seen something in Wangji’s eyes. He now looked… hopeful? Wei Ying took a big, trembling breath, reached across the table and – very carefully, as if he was trying to tame a wild animal – he took Wangji’s hand into his own.

The touch burned him. Wei Ying’s fingers were gentle yet strong, calloused yet soft. He glanced at their joined hands, and it looked right. He lifted his eyes again and he saw the apprehension on Wei Ying’s face, the way he was holding his breath, so he did the only thing he could do – he reached out with his other hand and took Wei Ying’s free hand into his.

It felt like a dream – the chirp of the insects outside, the summer heat, the warm candle light drawing soft shadows on Wei Ying’s face, the way his eyes widened at Wangji’s touch… If it was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up.

Wangji gently, slowly lifted Wei Ying’s hand – he barely held it, so that Wei Ying could pull out at any moment if he wanted. He brought Wei Ying’s hand to his lips, and slowly, reverently, he planted a kiss on his knuckles.

Wei Ying’s mouth parted at that, and he let out another shaky breath. He let go of Wangji’s hand – for a second that felt like an eternity, Wangji thought the other youth was going to leave altogether, and the possibility crushed him… But then, Wei Ying lifted his fingers towards Wangji’s face, towards his forehead… He hesitated and said: “Lan Zhan.”

I was both a question and an affirmation.

Wangji answered, entranced: “Hm.”

And then Wei Ying’s fingers were on his forehead ribbon, at their rightful place, and Wangji couldn’t help but to close his eyes and lean into the touch… He was still holding Wei Ying’s hand, and he brought it to his lips for another kiss.

He opened his eyes, and saw that they had both leaned towards each other, the table between them. They were so close now… He could see every detail of Wei Ying’s flush, of his vulnerable expression, of his parted lips…

***

He didn’t know who leaned in for the kiss first. Maybe they both did. It was a hesitant press of lips at first. Then they both came back for more. And suddenly Wangji was overwhelmed by the situation, and he couldn’t hold back: he pulled out of the kiss – trying to ignore Wei Ying’s little sound of protest – and moved the table out of the way.

Wei Ying let out a surprised gasp as Wangji took off his forehead ribbon and pushed him onto the wooden floor. He hovered on top of him, kissed him again, and this time it was messy and hungry and desperate and still not enough. Wei Ying’s lips parted around a moan, and Wangji took the chance to slide his tongue into the heat of his mouth. Wei Ying tasted like emperor’s smile and laughter, like sunshine and spice. Wangji couldn’t get enough of that taste.

Their hands were still joined, and while they were kissing, he brought them above Wei Ying’s head, took both of his wrists inside his left palm, and used his right hand to tie them with his forehead ribbon. Wei Ying threw his head back to look at what he was doing, and let out a breathless yet mirthful laugh: “Lan Zhan, look at what you’re doing! So shameless, what if your uncle saw that? He would have a heart attack!”

Wangji felt his face burn as hot as his ears, and answered: “Ridiculous.” Only it came out as a growl instead of the chastising tone he had intended, and Wei Ying seemed to like that, because he chased Wangji’s lips for another kiss, and Wangji was happy to oblige.

***

A few hours later, Wangji was lying on his bed, exhausted and happier than he had been in… Well, possibly ever. Wei Ying was asleep across his chest, his head nested in the crook of Wangji’s neck, his messy hair spread out on the pillow. One of Wangji’s hands was gently caressing his back.

He knew he should have gone to sleep too – he had to travel back to the Cloud Recesses in a few hours – but he wanted to enjoy every minute with Wei Ying. The troublemaker who had taken his heart by storm, shaken his world, made it shine brighter… He was here at last, with him. He was finally his.

When he ended up losing the battle against sleep and closing his eyes, he had finally found a name for the song he had written. It was obvious, really: there was only one possible name for it. As he drifted off, he whispered it into the silence of the room:

“Wangxian.”

*

*

*

Usually, when Lan Xichen woke up, he was always well-rested and ready to start the day.

But not this morning. This morning, it felt like it was way too early. He definitely hadn’t had enough rest and he was sleep walking through his morning routine. It was his own fault, really. Maybe he shouldn’t have talked to young master Wei. But who would have known that a simple conversation would be this effective? He had intended for them to just… talk! Not… That!

His cheeks burning at the traumatizing memories of just how much he had heard, he decided that he would have his revenge by teasing Wangji for the months, and possibly years, to come. Maybe it was a bit petty – but he had earned the right, hadn’t he?