Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nickname clarification for characters appearing in this chapter:

Jonathan: Jonathan

Speedweed: Speedwagon

Zeppenis: Will Anthonio/Baron Zeppeli

Jotaro: Jotaro

JoHoe: Joseph

Shiza: Caesar

DIO: Dio

Kars2: Kars

Whammy: Wamuu

ACDC: Esidisi

Obomba: Smokey

Crackyoin: Kakyoin

Polareff: Polnareff

Abdul: Avdol

sane diamond: Josuke

ZA HANDO: Okuyasu

ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫: Rohan

koichi: Koichi

GioGio: Giorno

JoJolyne: Jolyne

Herpes: Hermes

Food fighters: F.F.

i love jolyne: Annasui

pucci gang: Pucci

Emperorio: Emporio

WR: Weather Report

Jonathan created Friends GC

Jonathan added Speedweed, Zeppenis, Jotaro, JoHoe, sane diamond, GioGio, JoJolyne, and DIO

Jonathan: Hey guys :)

JoJolyne: whats happening

Jonathan: I made a group chat for all my friends :) You can add your friends too :)

DIO left the chat

Jonathan: :(

JoJolyne: wow pussy

JoJolyne added Herpes, Food fighters, Emperiorio, and WR

sane diamond: quick question who the FUCK is Herpes

JoJolyne: josuke.

sane diamond: jolyne

JoJolyne: thats my fckiing girlfriend

sane diamond: i

sane diamond: your gf has herpes?????

JoJolyne: yes

Herpes: hey what's going on

Herpes: AJDBALSJDBASDJN

Herpes: NO ITS JUST A PUN MY REAL NAME IS HERMES

Herpes: BWAHBDLSJBDLsdBA

Food fighters added i love jolyne and pucci gang

Herpes: FF NO THATS NOT HOW THIS WORKS

Herpes: who tf is "i love jolyne"

i love jolyne: me

JoJolyne: annasui i swear to fuck

i love jolyne: are you still gay

pucci gang: Hello.

pucci gang added DIO

sane diamond: um pucci gang I don't think Dio wants in

pucci gang: Why not?

sane diamond: he left earlier

Jonathan: Yeah

pucci gang: @DIO

JoJolyne: pucci

pucci gang: @DIO I love you!!

pucci gang: @DIO Please

JoJolyne: pucci stop

pucci gang: No @DIO @DIO

JoJolyne: PUCCI SHUT THE FUCK UP

pucci gang: I'm this close to resetting the universe Jolyne don't test me

JoJolyne: do it

JoJolyne: i dare you

JoHoe: HEY EVERYONE WHATS COOKIN

JoHoe: SORRY CAPS

JoHoe: SOrry

JoHoe added Shiza, Obomba, Kars2, Whammy, and ACDC

Jonathan: Guys I know I said you could invite your friends but please don't invite people who will cause trouble!! :')

JoHoe: Are you fr?? None of these guys will cause trouble

Kars2: i will

Shiza: i will too

Jonathan: Please don't

Speedweed: OMG JONATHAN IM SO SORRY I JUST GOT THE NOTIFICA;OINTN HI IM HERE!!!!!!!!!!!

Jonathan: Hi Robert!! :)

Speedweed: HI

Jonathan: Hi :)

Speedweed: HI :)

Jonathan: Hi! :)

Speedweed: HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)))))

sane diamond: what the fuck

JoJolyne: theyre speaking the language of the gods

Jotaro added Crackyoin and Abdul

Jotaro: @Crackyoin @Abdul come

Crackyoin: you gotta make me first

Jotaro: ...

Abdul: Hahaha

Abdul: Jotaro, why didn't you invite Polnareff?

Jotaro: i hate polnareff

Jotaro: don't invite him

Abdul added Polareff

Jotaro: whore

Polareff: HEYYY~!

Abdul: Hahaha, sorry Jotaro.

Crackyoin: polnareff if you don't mind me pointing it out you forgot the "n" in your name

Polareff: my key is broke

Polareff: fuck

Polareff: the key is broke

Jotaro: good

Jotaro: now you can't say the n word

Polareff: IVE EVER SAID THAT WORD BEFORE

Abdul: I gave him the "n-word pass", as you say?

pucci gang: That's not how it works.

Polareff: oh yeah ad who the fuck are you

pucci gang: Pucci

pucci gang: @DIO Please

Jotaro: why is he pinging dio

Jotaro: don't ping dio

pucci gang: @DIO @DIO @DIO @DIO

Jotaro: die

Food fighters: h

Food fighters: i

Polareff: hi????????

JoJolyne: hey bb

Herpes: hi bby

sane diamond: what. whos this cringe ass nae nae baby

Jonathan: Hi! :)

JoJolyne: watch your fat mouth josuke thats my girlfriend

Herpes: yeah josuke thats my girlfriend

sane diamond: im so confused

Food fighters: were p

Food fighters: polygon

Herpes: *POLYAMOROUS

JoJolyne: BWAHAHHAHAHA

sane diamond: so youre??? all each other gfs??? at the same time???

JoJolyne: yes

Herpes: yes

sane diamond: weirdos

Jonathan: Be nice Josuke! >:(

JoHoe: why do you use faces in all of your messages

Jonathan: Isn't that how it works in real life?

sane diamond: dumbass

Herpes: no no, he's got a point

sane diamond: hang on

sane diamond added ZA HANDO, koichi, and ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫

sane diamond: i forgot we could add friends

ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫: josuke we are not friends

ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫 left the chat

sane diamond: fuckin cocky ass prick even uses name flair i hate him

ZA HANDO: OI JOSUKE IS THIS A GC WITH EVERYONE

sane diamond: yeah

JoJolyne: define everyone

Herpes: does this guy know how to turn off caps lock

JoJolyne: lmaoo

ZA HANDO: NO IM NOT VERY SMART SO I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF

JoJolyne: i

Herpes: OMG LITERALLY JUST PRESS THE CAPS LOCK KEY

ZA HANDO: WHERE

Herpes: ON YOUR KEYBOARD

ZA HANDO: WHERES MY KEYBOARD

Herpes: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RN DUDE

Jonathan: No arguing please!! :(

Jonathan: I made Speedwagon and Jotaro moderators and the three of us will mute people if we have to

JoHoe: jonathan can you make me a mod

Jonathan: No

JoHoe: why not

Jonathan: Change your name first. It's vulgar!

JoHoe: speedwagons name is literally speedweed

Jonathan: Do you have something against nature?

sane diamond: jonathan..... bless your poor innocent soul

Jonathan: You too! :)

Chapter Text

Name clarifications for characters appearing in this chapter:

Jonathan: Jonathan

Jotaro: Jotaro

JoHoe: Joseph

Shiza: Caesar

Crackyoin: Kakyoin

Polareff: Polnareff

Abdul: Avdol

sane diamond: Josuke

GioGio: Giorno

!!Mista: Mista

hngggggggg: Narancia

Fugo: Fugo

Bruno: Bruno

Trishy: Trish

Pisstachio: Abbacchio

JoJolyne: Jolyne

Herpes: Hermes

i love jolyne: Annasui

GioGio added !!Mista, Trishy, Bruno, and hngggggggg

GioGio: Have fun gangstars

Bruno added Pisstachio

Pisstachio: What the fuck?

GioGio: It's a group chat that Jonathan made

Pisstachio: And why the fuck would you invite me?

Bruno: He didn't invite you Leone, I did

Pisstachio: Oh

Pisstachio: Sorry buccellati

hngggggggg: fndjacxcaz.awawedsc..a.

!!Mista: giorno who is this guy

hngggggggg: ga.scfmsd.......eeasj.f;;;@#@2e

hngggggggg added Fugo

Fugo: what

Fugo: narancia

hngggggggg: g

Fugo: ....bro

!!Mista: NARANCIA??

!!Mista: HELLO??????????????????????????

hngggggggg: gh

Fugo: narancia you are so retarded

Jonathan: Watch your language, Fugo

Fugo: *regarded

Jonathan: Oh my bad! Carry on :)

Mista: ABSLDJAlsDKJNSADLJKASND

Trishy: narancia...... literally why

hngggggggg: ghad a.sdmca nasjfns

Trishy: babe please

hngggggggg: snfadsc.. trasia.h... fdsa .haelop....

JoJolyne: morning

i love jolyne: are you still gay

JoJolyne: check again tomorrow

Trishy: JOLYNE I KIN YOU

JoJolyne: thanks

Jotaro: hey

JoJolyne: go away dad

Jotaro: i don't even know who you are

Jotaro: "dad"?????????

JoJolyne: anyways i caught foo fighters drinking out of the toilet last night

Jotaro: jolyne

Herpes: YEAH OH MY GOD IT HAD ME IN TEARS

JoJolyne: I WAS LIKE..... OH MY GOD FOO YOURE GONNA GET FUCKING DYSENTERY DONT KISS ME WITH THAT MOUTH FOR 5 THOUSAND YEARS

Jotaro: what do you mean by "dad"

Herpes: THEYRE LITERALLY SO FUCKING SICK LIKE THEY THREW UP 8 TIMES IN THE PAST H O U R

JoJolyne: I FEEL SO BAD FOR THEM BUT LIKE... THEY HAD IT COMING

Jotaro: fuck you

Crackyoin: good morning everyone

Crackyoin: jotaro is laying on my lap right now :)

Jotaro: KAK

Abdul: Hahaha!

Jonathan: Aw :) You must be such good friends

Crackyoin: haha yeah "friends" he has me pinnned down r

Crackyoin: right now its so harf to type

Jotaro: stop talking

Crackyoin: bold words for someone within emerald splash range

Jotaro: bold words for someone who's about to get emerald splashed with this dick

Polareff: JOTARO

Jonathan: Oh! I see :)

Jonathan: Please be less vulgar in the future :)

Fugo: disgusting

!!Mista: im crying

Jonathan: Aw :( Is everything okay?

sane diamond: what the fuck did i just come back to

hngggggggg: gwahgahshgdsdahf.a >HGUYSL J>N HSLEP MEWA LEPALSE

Fugo: yall hear smth

GioGio: I'm starting to wonder if Narancia is trying to tell us something

!!Mista: he's getting swallowed by trish's fat pussy lips

Fugo: BRO WHAT

Trishy: HBSDLAKJSDNLAKJSHEWIJE

Trishy: MISTA I WILL ANNIHILATE YOU

!!Mista: with those fat pussy lips i hope

Trishy: DIE IMMEDIATELY

GioGio: Mista :(

!!Mista: no one said you couldn't join us, giorno

Jonathan: Please keep this chat appropriate!

Polareff: yeah @Jotaro liste to Joatha smh

!!Mista: whos joatha

Polareff: fuck you my key is broke

!!Mista: what key

Polareff: the oe that im ot usig to type smartass

!!Mista: ok turtle man

Polareff: what

Polareff: @Jotaro aswer me you imbecile

Polareff: @Jotaro

!!Mista: @Jotaro

Polareff: this doest cocer you

Polareff: @Crackyoin tell your boyfried to talk to me avdol abadoed me to go to mosque

JoHoe: hes probably busy

Polareff: o hes ot

Polareff: hes always o discord i the morigs

Shiza: considering the conversation you guys were having 10 minutes ago i think i know what he's busy doing

JoHoe: OH MY GOD CAESAR...... you pervert >///<

Shiza: what the fuck jojo

Shiza: dont ever speak again

JoHoe: alright ill just have to communicate with grunts

Shiza: d

Shiza: dont

Trishy: lmao

Shiza: im not even kidding guys he burst into my room and started moaning like a bitch in heat

!!Mista: NAKJDNLASKJDNSAld

Herpes: AHASDAHSHAHA

Shiza: ITS NOT FUNNY

Shiza: ok i gotta go

Shiza: hes getting annoying

Shiza: bye

!!Mista: .............theyre gonna fuck

!!Mista: why is everyoen hooking up

!!Mista: @GioGio please sex me

JoJolyne: god i fucking hate horny people

Chapter Text

Nickname clarification for characters appearing in this chapter:

DIO: Dio

sane diamond: Josuke

JoJolyne: Jolyne

Polareff: Polnareff

Jotaro: Jotaro

GioGio: Giorno

JoHoe: Joseph

Crackyoin: Kakyoin

!!Mista: Mista

Abdul: Avdol

Fugo: Fugo

ZA HANDO: Okuyasu

koichi: Koichi

got hands?: Kira Yoshikage

Jonathan: Jonathan

Speedweed: Speedwagon

Trishy: Trish

DIO: What is this madness

sane diamond: @everyone ceo of horny finally spoke

JoJolyne: ceo of........... horny

Polareff: he's ot wrog

Jotaro: who the fuck pinged me

sane diamond: jotaro

Jotaro: yare yare daze

Jotaro left the chat

Polareff: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAahahahsdasads

GioGio: what

GioGio: oh

JoHoe: i have been summoned

Polareff: @Crackyoin go ivite yuor boyfried back

Crackyoin: he threw his phone across the room

Crackyoin: he might've broken it

!!Mista: oh good kakyoin

Crackyoin: yes--?

!!Mista: i have a question

Crackyoin: i have an answer

!!Mista: its a really important question

!!Mista: like really

!!Mista: really

!!Mista: important

sane diamond: mista we all know what youre gonna ask so JUST ASK

Crackyoin: ????

!!Mista: ok

!!Mista: kakyoin

Crackyoin: yes?

!!Mista: did you and jotaro fuck yesterday

Crackyoin: i

JoHoe: HOLY SHIT

Crackyoin: no comment

!!Mista: I FUCKIGN KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Polareff: THEY DID I SWEAR AVDOL AD I COULD HEAR THEM

Abdul: Hahaha!

Polareff: J

Polareff: JOATAROS A BOTTOM

Polareff: HE

Polareff: HES A

Fugo: good GOD

Polareff: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

!!Mista: ok now joseph........

JoHoe: yes

JoHoe: @Shiza be sleeping on my chest as we speak

Fugo: damn

!!Mista: BASJHDBDLAJKSDALsjd

JoHoe: he came like 4 times

!!Mista: I HATE YOU JOSEPH HOESTAR GO KILL YOURSELF

JoHoe: i

GioGio: Don't ask

GioGio: He hates the number f*ur

Polareff: d

Polareff: did you just cesor it

GioGio: Trust me, you should be grateful I censored it

JoJolyne: polnareff so help me god fix your damn "n" key

JoJolyne: if i have to look at your n-less sentences one more time i'm gonna use that hair as toilet paper

sane diamond: BWAHALHALHSAA TOILET PAPER

sane diamond: TOILERT PAEPR AHIR

JoJolyne: you're not safe either josuke

JoJolyne: if you make me mad i'll do it to yours too

sane diamond: what

JoJolyne: fuckin crazy ass havin hair bitches

sane diamond: the

sane diamond: fuck

sane diamond: did you just say about my hair, hoe

ZA HANDO: WHO MADE JOSUKE MAD

ZA HANDO: HE JUST FUCKING DESTROYED HIS PHONE

ZA HANDO: HE CRUSHED IT

ZA HANDO: WITH HIS BARE HANDS

ZA HANDO: OH MY GOD JOLYNE YOU INSULTED HIS HAIR

JoJolyne: calm down okuyasu

ZA HANDO: RULE 1 OF TALKING TO JOSUKE: DON'T EVER INSULT THE HAIR

!!Mista: STOP YELLING

ZA HANDO: I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK

Fugo: THEN DONT FUCING TALK

sane diamond: jolyne

JoJolyne: didnt you literally just break your phone

sane diamond: i used crazy diamond to fix it

sane diamond: anyways

Fugo: that explains the username

sane diamond: meet me outside the waffle house at high noon

JoJolyne: josuke

sane diamond: this isnt negotiable

JoJolyne: eye

sane diamond: if you dont show up i'll come to your house

JoJolyne: josuke you live in Japan

sane diamond: imattheairport.png

JoJolyne: JOSUKE NO

sane diamond: JOSUKE YES

ZA HANDO: THIS IS SO COOL IVE NEVER BEEN ON A PLANE BEFORE

!!Mista: this is insane how the fuck did you get the tickets that fast

sane diamond: i stole them

koichi: How come the first time I open this chat is to see Josuke and Okuyasu leaving on a flight to Florida to go fight Jotaro's daughter

Jotaro: can someone please explain this to me

koichi: Like.... Josuke I knew you HATED when people insulted your hair but I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D TRAVEL ACROSS THE W O R L D TO THROW HANDS WITH YOUR GREAT NIECE

got hands? invited got hands?

got hands?: throw hands you say?

koichi: Oh my god

koichi: is that

ZA HANDO: IS THAT KIRA YOSHIKAGE 33 YEARS OLD LIVES IN MORIOH JAPAN

got hands?: za hando you say?

Jonathan removed got hands?

Crackyoin added Jotaro

Jonathan: Hello, I don't know how this "got hands?" got in, but I removed him :)

sane diamond: thanks "Jonathan"

Jonathan: Of course "sane diamond" :)

Polareff: HAHA JOATHA USED SARCASM

JoJolyne: polnareff

Polareff: sorry ill go

Jotaro: i farted

Abdul: Polnareff, where are you? Please answer my texts

Polareff: up your ass

Abdul: Is that a challenge? ;)

Polareff: AVDOL

!!Mista: so are we just gonna ignore the fact that jotaro just said he farted

Jotaro: i'm a horny bottom

Polareff: omg..

JoJolyne: something isnt right

Jotaro: kakyoin dick in my ass

Jotaro: yesyesyeyesyesyes

Abdul: Hahaha

Jotaro: oraoraoraoraoraoraoraoraora

Jotaro: star platinum za warudo

Jotaro: deep down i have feelings

Jotaro: i love sucking hairy penis

Polareff: jotaro

JoJolyne: let the man speak

Jotaro: @DIO i have feelings for you

JoHoe: thats not jotaro !

Jotaro: what... yes it is uwu

JoHoe: nah

JoHoe: you're kakyoin arent you

Jotaro: (jotaro voice) no

Polareff: yeah thats kakyoi

Polareff: @Kakyoin stop hidig you trick ass bitch

Kakyoin: someone pinged me?

Kakyoin: what

Kakyoin: jotaro-

Jotaro: hey sexy mama

Jotaro: suck my balls

Kakyoin: what

Jotaro: ora sex ora sex ora sex ora sex oral sex oral sex oral sex

Polareff: alright. i kow how to get to the bottom of this

Jotaro: b-bottom? (moans)

Polareff: kakyoi try to say somethig at the same time as jotaro

Speedweed: Good morning! :)

Jonathan: Hello Speedwagon! :)

Jotaro: JONATHAN AND SPEEDWAGON SITTING IN A TREE

Jotaro: K I S S I NG

Jonathan: Jotaro!!!

Speedweed: Oh

Jonathan: Jotaro, this is very unlike you! I think I need to replace you as moderator...

JoHoe: i volunteer as tribute

Jonathan: Alright, I made Avdol a mod. He seems very mature!

Abdul: Hahaha! I am flattered, Mr. Joestar!

Jotaro: oh no jotaros gonna be so mad

Kakyoin: FUCK

Polareff: I KEW IT

Abdul: Hahaha, busted!

Trishy: good afternoon what the hell and fuck just happened

Chapter Text

Nickname clarifications for characters appearing in this chapter:

DIO: Dio

Polareff: Polnareff

Jotaro: Jotaro

Crackyoin: Kakyoin

JoJolyne: Jolyne

!!Mista: Mista

ZA HANDO: Okuyasu

Fugo: Fugo

Herpes: Hermes

sane diamond: Josuke

half horse: Hol Horse

ice ice baby: Vanilla Ice

GioGio: Giorno

Nanancia: Narancia

Bruno: Bruno

Pisstachio: Abbacchio

Trishy: Trish

DIO: screenshot.png

DIO: @Jotaro Explain

Polareff: o oe explai

Polareff: dear god, please give me back my key

Jotaro: who pinged me

Jotaro: why the fuck did dio ping me

DIO: Why did you confess your feelings to me?

Jotaro: what sick game is this

Jotaro: you faked that screenshot for clout you gay whore

DIO: Why would I fake that

DIO: Don't call me a gay whore, gay whore

DIO: Now answer the fucking question

Jotaro: i didn't FUCKING SAY THAT YOU FAT BOOB HOLE

DIO: Fat boob?

Jotaro: you have massive middies. don't deny it

Polareff: im startig to thik that maybe kakyoi didt steal his phoe after all

Crackyoin: just like dio didn't steal jonathan's body

Jotaro: anyways

Jotaro: wait

Jotaro: kakyoin did what?

Jotaro: brb

Crackyoin: DIE POLNAREFF

JoJolyne: congrats, you just summed up part 3 in two words

!!Mista: JOLYNE

JoJolyne: what

!!Mista: what happened yesterday at high noon

JoJolyne: igot fucked up by a rat

ZA HANDO: jolynevsjosukefight.mp4

Fugo: HOLY SHIT AHAHA

!!Mista: damn jolyne are you in the hospital right now

JoJolyne: no im in jail

Herpes: no she's not

Herpes: don't listen to her

Trishy: I WAS GONNA BE LIKE..... WHAT

Herpes: she got released 2 hours ago

Trishy: NEVERMIND I AM LIKE..... WHAT

!!Mista: is she ok

!!Mista: not that i care but like

sane diamond: dont worry i fixed her up with my crazy diamond after beating her into the pavement behind a waffle house

ZA HANDO: IT WAS COOL AS HECK

ZA HANDO: I GOT CHICKEN AND WAFFLES WITH JOSUKE

ZA HANDO: IT WAS A DATE <3

JoJolyne: and then i got arrested

JoJolyne: it was a date <3 with florida law enforcement

DIO: I have decided to engage more in this "group chat"

DIO: It's rather entertaining

JoJolyne: everyone ignore the gay vampire

DIO added half horse and ice ice baby

DIO: I'm not gay

Herpes: whatever you say gay vampire

DIO: Who are you

Herpes: i'm herpes obviously, learn to read

DIO: What does "herpes" mean

JoJolyne: it means boobies

DIO: Ah, I see

DIO: Then according to Jotaro, I have fat herpes

Herpes: JHABLJKABSLDKJASBDLCKJDSBCLKSAJBFLAWIEAUFHWE

JoJolyne: AAAADJSADNSADSAXNmMNZCN:SNZ:

DIO: What is that

JoJolyne: it's a keysmash

DIO: How do I do it

Herpes: just press any key

DIO: 6

Herpes: you're doing great sweaty

Jotaro: i'm back

DIO: Hey JoJo

Jotaro: of all people

Jotaro: yare yare

DIO: Are you missing my fat herpes, Jotaro? <3

Jotaro: your what

Crackyoin: i'm not surprised

Crackyoin: dio has a lot of sex, of course he has an STD

DIO: What's an STD?

JoJolyne: sexy thot disorder

DIO: Hmph

DIO: Then obviously I have an STD

DIO: I was probably born with it

Herpes: i can't BREATHE JOLYNE GIVE ME CPR WITH YOUR PUSSY

JoJolyne: yes honey

!!Mista: i refuse to believe dio doesn't know what an std is

!!Mista: @GioGio come do the honors

GioGio: What?

GioGio: Oh god mista

GioGio: i'm not telling my dad about sexually transmitted diseases

DIO: There are two things I don't like about that sentence

JoHoe: HEY SEXIES WHAT'S COOKIN

DIO: Who is this

Nanancia: this bussy

Fugo: NARANCIA

!!Mista: NARANCIA

Bruno: NARNAR

Pisstachio: nARAnCOI

Trishy: oh yeah did i tell you guys that narancia almost died the other day

Nanancia: yeah i was trying to call for help on this server but yall slow

Trishy: you're lucky i decided to check on you babe

Trishy: diavolo was literally beating the shit out of him

Nanancia: i won that fight

Trishy: keep telling yourself that

half horse: where am i

GioGio: You're on discord

JoJolyne: hell

!!Mista: my penis hole

half horse: ok

half horse: how do i leave

JoJolyne: do you see that channel that says "General Voice"

half horse: yes

JoJolyne: click it

half horse: ok

half horse: now what

JoJolyne: give me a second

JoJolyne: @everyone join vc

Crackyoin: ok

Polareff: FIALLY

Shiza: should i be scared

JoHoe: yes

JoJolyne: whos breathing in the mic

sane diamond: bitch gotta breathe

(this is the voice chat format and i'm not sorry that it's written like a middle school play)

Jolyne: Josuke, you're doing this on purpose aren't you?

Josuke: (heavy breathing)

Hol Horse: (ear-raping cough)

Hol Horse: Y'all tricked me into calling...

Jolyne: No you're just stupid

Jolyne and Josuke: (LAUGHING)

Joseph: HELLO!

Caesar: (quiet grunt)

Joseph: Caesar

Caesar: What

Joseph: Put your shirt back on

Jolyne and Josuke: (LAUGHING)

(discord connect)

Dio: What is this? Some kind of elaborate phone mechanism?

Jolyne: Why do you talk like that

Dio: What?

Jolyne: (Mocking fancy voice) Elaborate phone mechanism~

Dio: Well, sorry that your idiotic human brain can't grasp the fine intricacies of language.

Jolyne, Joseph and Josuke: (LAFFING)

Caesar: (slight chuckling)

Dio: Fools.

Jolyne: (tearing up from laughter)

(discord connect)

(discord connect)

(discord connect)

Jotaro: What the fuck

Jonathan: Ah, I see we're finally using the voice chat! Excellent!

Dio: (loudly and ear rapey) JOOOOJO

Jonathan: :(

Jolyne: how did you say that out loud

Dio: It has been a hundred years since I have last heard your voice!

Jotaro: ok

Dio: Our battle will be legendary!

Jotaro: Last I recall he killed you... twice

Jonathan: (background noises of so no chi no sadame)

Jolyne: Who's listening to Japanese opera in the background

Jonathan: Oh! I'm just watching something!

Joseph: Who's the other guy that joined

Jolyne: Uh.... Pol... Polnareff?

Polnareff: HEYYY~! MON CHERIE!

Josuke: He can finally say the n word

Jolyne: (LAUGHING)

Caesar: (grunt)

Joseph: (whispering) nipple

Jolyne, Josuke and Polnareff: (VERY LOUD LAFF)

Hol Horse: hee hee hee

Caesar: J-Joseph, I will destroy you

Jolyne: hey Caesar

Caesar:

Jolyne: Are you hungry

Caesar:

Jolyne: c cause i got... a caesar sa..salad.... (snort)

Josuke: SHE SNORTED

Jolyne: (wheezing and trying to breathe) SHUT THE FUCK (cough) UP (snort)

Josuke: JOLYNE SNORTS WHEN SHE LAUGHS

Joseph: I got myself a Caesar salad too hehe

Caesar: JOJO

Josuke: there's so many jojos in this server

Jolyne: (struggling to breathe through laughter) so wait..... if YOU'RE jojo..... (snort)

Josuke: (laughing)

Jolyne: and HE'S jojo.....

Josuke: (dying of laughter)

Joseph: THEN WHO'S FLYING THE PLANE!?!

Jotaro: Not you I hope.

(discord disconnect)

Jolyne: (snorting) wait who left

Polnareff: It was Hol Horse

(discord connect)

(discord connect)

(discord connect)

Doppio: (too close to the mic) Hello??? B-boss????

Jolyne: what

Doppio: Yes, this is Doppio.....

Mista: HAHAHAH HE DID IT HE ACTUALLY DID IT

Trish and Narancia: (screech-laughing)

Jolyne: who the fuck is Doppio??

Joseph: Oi, Caesar

Caesar:

Jolyne: Hello???????????

Joseph: You should tell us about that time Wamuu crushed you under a ceiling tile

Caesar: N-not funny, Jojo

Jolyne: are you guys in the same room?

Joseph: Yep!

Jolyne: that explains the fucking feedback noise

Jolyne: one of you hang up

Joseph: 1 2 3 not it

Caesar: damn you, Joseph

(discord disconnect)

Polnareff: nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Caesar: t-the fuck is that noise

Polnareff: (slowly fading in and out like a bee) nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Jotaro: He does that when he's happy

Polnareff: no i'm just showing everyone that i can say "n" now

Polnareff: now, if you'll excuse me

Polnareff: nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Jotaro: (Polnareff "nnnn" in the background) Anyways

Caesar: (sudden loud moan)

(short silence)

Jolyne: WHAT THE FUHUHUCK

Josuke: OH FNMDSKGJNDSKFJSDNLFKJDS

(discord disconnect)

Polnareff: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Jonathan: i don't get it

Jotaro: yare yare da

(discord disconnect)

Dio: i want to kill myself

Chapter Text

Nickname clarifications for characters appearing in this chapter

PolNareff: Polnareff

JoJolyne: Jolyne

Crackyoin: Kakyoin

sane diamond: Josuke

Shiza: Caesar

JoHoe: Joseph

Food fighters: F.F./Foo Fighters

Trishy: Trish

Jonathan: Jonathan

DIO: DIO

Dio/fake dio: Diego

Cold Pants: Hot Pants

Joknee: Johnny

Gyrosexual: Gyro

Lucy: Lucy Steel

Unfunny Valentine: Funny Valentine

Abdul: Avdol

!!Mista: Mista

Herpes: Hermes

Jotaro: Jotaro

PolNareff: n

JoJolyne: POLNAREFF

PolNareff: :)N

Crackyoin: finally

sane diamond: can we talk about the call last night

Shiza: absolutely not

JoHoe: absolutely!

sane diamond: ok so like.... what th e fuck happend

Shiza: jojo hit me

JoHoe: in the balls

Shiza: die <3

JoJolyne: moving on

Food fighters: G

Food fighters: GUYS

Food fighters: DO YOU THINK

sane diamond: WHAT

sane diamond: WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!

JoJolyne: no

JoJolyne: i dont think

JoJolyne: no thoughts head empty

Trishy: i think im pregnant

JoJolyne: oh ok! why

Trishy: bc my pregnancy test read positive

JoJolyne: well

JoJolyne: that..... probably means you are pregnant

Jonathan added Dio

Jonathan: I added Dio's side account! I don't know why he has it, but I added it just in case :)

Jonathan: I also added both you and your backup as moderators :)

DIO: I have no such thing

Jonathan: Oh

Dio: rawr

JoJolyne: RAWR

Dio added Cold Pants

Cold Pants: ?

Dio: <3

Cold Pants: Diego, what is this

Dio: idk

Cold Pants: hm

DIO: @Dio

Dio: huh

DIO: Change your name

Dio: no u

DIO: Foolish imbecile

Dio: aw man

Dio renamed the server to "dino palz <3"

DIO: What the fuck

DIO renamed the server to "bitches of DIO"

JoJolyne: BITCHES OF DIO

sane diamond: i didn't know dio was capable of funny

PolNareff: same i always thought he only had one emotion

DIO: And what would that be, Polnareff?

PolNareff: horny

Jotaro: yeah

Crackyoin: yeah

Abdul: yeah

Jonathan: yeah

DIO: yeah

Dio: yeah

DIO: this isn't about you

Cold Pants added Joknee, Gyrosexual, Lucy, and Unfunny Valentine

Cold Pants: I added the others

DIO: Stop

Fake dio: hehe

Fake dio: why the fuck is my name fake dio

DIO: ;)

Fake dio: MUDA MUDA MUDA DMAU DAD JMDAUDKUADMDUA DUAMDUA MDAUMDU DMUA MDUA MDAU DMAUMDAU MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA

Jotaro: he even stole dio's catchphrase

Abdul: What a lad

DIO: im doi

DIO: daodi

DIO: xd

DIO: Fuck you

JoJolyne: WHO'S TALKING

DIO: Jonathan, remove this idiot immediately

DIO: @Jonathan

Jonathan: Alright, Dio, sorry

Jonathan removed DIO

sane diamond: aw :( that guy was fun

DIO: XD

sane diamond: OH SHIT

JoJolyne: HE REMOVED THE WRONG DIO

Jonathan: Oh drat!! Dio is messaging me very angrily.... Please give me a second to fix this!!

PolNareff: omg he WANTS to be in the chat thats adorable

Jonathan added DIO

Jonathan removed DIO

Jonathan: There!! :)

DIO: XDXDXDXD

Jonathan: Oh bother!!

Jonathan removed DIO

Jonathan added DIO

DIO: You will pay for this, Jojo

Jonathan: :(

DIO: @PolNareff Don't call me that ever again

PolNareff: ok cutie <3

DIO: Hmph.

DIO: Two can play at that game!

PolNareff: is that a challenge

Crackyoin: oh god

Jotaro: polnareff .... star platinum hasn't kicked anything's ass in a while. just thought i'd let you know

DIO: Polnareff

PolNareff: yes dear

DIO: I'm going to smack that mayonnaise ass and pull your chef hat hair so hard your brain will rip out of your skull and then I'm going to suck your guts out of your cock and fill your cracker asshole with so much cum you'll get pregnant and then I'm going to kill you sexily

sane diamond: WHAT THE FUCK

!!Mista: AAAAAAAAAAAWHJABDJHSBDLASJDB

JoJolyne: simmer down cherry bomb

Herpes: WHAT DID I COME BACK TO

Crackyoin: @Abdul

Jotaro: YARE YARE FUCKING DAZE

Abdul muted DIO for 2 hours

Reason: horny

JoJolyne: BLAJBSDLKAJSDBNLKSAJDNS

PolNareff: oh

Abdul: Tsk tsk! That'll teach him not to flirt with my fiance.

sane diamond: OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT

JoHoe: OH MY GOD

Shiza: that's worse than anything Joseph's said to me during sex time

Herpes: during what time

Chapter Text

Nickname clarifications for characters appearing in this chapter:

!!Mista: Mista

JoJolyne: Jolyne

Herpes: Hermes

PolNareff: Polnareff

Abdul: Avdol

Nanancia: Narancia

Fugo: Fugo

Trishy: Trish

Bruno: Bruno

Pisstachio: Abbacchio

GioGio: Giorno

sane diamond: Josuke

DIO: DIO

Zeppenis: Will Anthonio/Baron Zeppeli

Shiza: Caesar

Speedweed: Speedwagon

Jotaro: Jotaro

pucci gang: Pucci

ZA HANDO: Okuyasu

koichi: Koichi

Gyrosexual: Gyro

Joknee: Johnny

Unfunny Valentine: Funny Valentine

Kars2: Kars

JoHoe: Joseph

ACDC: Esidisi

Whammy: Wamuu

!!Mista: so

JoJolyne: no

!!Mista: guys

JoJolyne: chi

Herpes: no

!!Mista: GUY

JoJolyne: sa

Herpes: da

!!Mista: GGGGGGGGG THIS IS SERIOUS

JoJolyne: me

PolNareff: JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JoJolyne: JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

JoJolyne: NO

JoJolyne: POLNAREFF

JoJolyne: YOU RUINED IT

Herpes: JO

Herpes: oh

PolNareff: HONHOHOHON MOURIR JOOOOOLYNEEEEEE

JoJolyne: huh

PolNareff: je dors. bone nut

JoJolyne: sorry i dont speak croissant

Herpes: BONE NUT????

PolNareff: **BONNE NUIT

Abdul: He's drunk at the moment.

JoJolyne: god i wish that were me

Herpes: no you don't jolyne you're an emotional drunk

JoJolyne: first of all fuck you....

JoJolyne: second of all...... yeah

!!Mista: ANYways

!!Mista: fugo and narancia got into a fight and

!!Mista: lets just say

Nanancia: im vey sick cough cough i might die

Fugo: good

Fugo: maybe now you'll learn that 12 x 34 isnt 1234

!!Mista: this isnt FUCKING FUNNY FUGO

Fugo: you're right

Fugo: it's hilarious

sane diamond: what does being sick have to do with 2 italian kids fighting

!!Mista: FUGO

Trishy: it's his stand, purple haze, it makes you sick

sane diamond: weak

!!Mista: ITS REALLY NOT NARANCIA LITERALLY WAS 3 SECONDS AWAY FROM DEATH AND THE REST OF US COULDVE DIED TOO

Bruno: Fugo's grounded

Fugo: shut the hell up buccellati

GioGio: Haha

Pisstachio: Go away Giorno

GioGio: I could easily beat you up

Pisstachio: But you won't

GioGio: Because I'm nice

GioGio: unlike you

Pisstachio: Why are you so insufferable

DIO: Good evening mortals

Pisstachio: Who the fuck is this guy?

DIO: Pardon? Who the fuck are you?

GioGio: Abbacchio

Pisstachio: I'm ignoring you Giorno

GioGio: Abbacchio

Pisstachio: @Bruno I'm angry and horny

Bruno: And?

Pisstachio: Bitch

Pisstachio: Come fuck me

sane diamond: quick question why is everyone in this server HORNY ALL THE TIME

JoJolyne: maybe if we kick dio out his sexy thot disorder will stop rubbing off on everyone else

!!Mista: we could all have an orgy

!!Mista: an orgy with dio

!!Mista: @GioGio ;)

GioGio: MISTA

!!Mista: ;)))

GioGio: please

GioGio: i cant take it

JoJolyne: um i think the fuck not i'm too lesbian.... i hate m..... me..... m... ugh i cant even say it...... men...... (projectile vomits)

Zeppenis: Listen

Zeppenis: I'm straight

Zeppenis: But Dio?

Zeppenis: Would be an exception

GioGio: Guys

Speedweed: Hey Zeppeli! Finally talking I see

Zeppenis: yeah

Shiza: hol up

Shiza: i think i'm related to you

JoJolyne: ok i'll give you that zeppeli

JoJolyne: like i may be lesbian but dio is dio

JoJolyne: I'M OBVIOUSLY KIDDING THOU

!!Mista: sure

GioGio: guys please

!!Mista: cmon giorno lets have a threesome with dio

GioGio: IM GOING INSANE MISTA HES MY DAD

!!Mista: what

JoJolyne: what

Zeppenis: what

Speedweed: what

DIO: what

DIO: I have a son?

Bruno: No you don't

Bruno: Not anymore

Nanancia: HAHA EAH CAUSE BRUNO ADOPTA EVERONE

Bruno: Narancia please get some rest

Nanancia: yes mommy

Bruno: :)

Fugo: yes daddy

Fugo: wait

Fugo: that didn't sound good

!!Mista: HAHA FUGO

Fugo: this never happened.

JoJolyne: mista can i ask a question

!!Mista: no

JoJolyne: why do you have exclamation marks in front of your name

!!Mista: .......

!!Mista: bc im sexier than everyone in this server

!!Mista: and i deserve to be at the top of the list

!!!DIO: Fool

!!Mista: dio i

!!Mista: you're ltierally a mod you appear above all of us

!!!DIO: good

JoJolyne: oh god

JoJolyne: i forgot hes actually in this server

JoJolyne: i

JoJolyne: i have to delete everythig

!!!DIO: delete what

JoJolyne: it's nothing go to bed

!!!DIO: i am looking

!!Mista: oh no

!!!DIO: Why is everyone horny for me

!!!DIO: @Zeppenis aren't you the imbecile who taught Jojo hamon

Zeppenis: uh

Zeppenis: whos jojo lol

Jotaro: dio you look like an idiot with that shit in front of your name

!!!DIO: I'm not changing it

Jotaro: good because i want you to look like an idiot

DIO: fuck you

pucci gang: I've returned

pucci gang: DIO

pucci gang: !!!! I LOVE YOU

DIO: Good evening, Pucci <3

JoJolyne: please

JoJolyne: take this to pms

JoJolyne: or better yet the bedroom

pucci gang: Excellent idea for once, Jolyne.

pucci gang: Dio, how about we discuss some more of that philosophical approach you were talking about?

DIO: Alright love, be here by 7

PolNareff: philisophical approach

sane diamond: i don't wanna know

ZA HANDO: guys! i finally found the caps lock key

ZA HANDO: its on the left

sane diamond: god youre so stupid okuyasu. ily

koichi: Are you guys back from Florida yet

sane diamond: no

sane diamond: we're in minnesota

koichi: i

sane diamond: i don't know how it came to this

sane diamond: but we're here

Gyrosexual: steel ball run race (2020, colorized)

sane diamond: who are you

Gyrosexual: i don't know

Joknee: Hot Pants invited us

Joknee: To be honest I dont know why

Gyrosexual: hey johnny

Gyrosexual: why is the president in the list

Joknee: huh???

Joknee: holy shit

Gyrosexual: @Unfunny Valentine

Gyrosexual: shit

Joknee: DONT FUCKING TAG HIM IDIOT

JoJolyne: i'm very confused

Kars2: hey

JoJolyne: hey? who are you

Kars2: i'm

Kars2: i

Kars2: they have

Kars2: they have discord in space

JoHoe: OH MY GOD

Kars2: Ugh

Kars2: Jojo

Kars2: unfortunately for you i started thinking again

JoJolyne: kars be like "no thoughts: head empty"

Kars2: actually my head is full right now

JoHoe: of shit

Kars2: Just so you know Joseph I'm still in Earth's orbit

JoHoe: ok come back down here then

JoHoe: i DARE you

Kars2: big mistake jojo

Shiza: Jojo, don't encourage him

Kars2: i'm coming

JoHoe: ok buddy man

JoHoe: i'll be waiting

JoJolyne: now i'm scared

Kars2: good

Shiza: mamma mia

JoHoe: Caesar, whaddya say we have one last round

Shiza: i'm going to choke you

JoHoe: hmm?

Shiza: no, jojo

Shiza: i'm going to strangle you to death

Kars2: not fair caesar, share

JoHoe: wow i'm irresistable

Shiza: die

ACDC: im crying

JoJolyne: bwahslbfasjhf me too

ACDC: no im literally crying

ACDC: im shedding physical tears

JoJolyne: o oh

JoJolyne: there there

Whammy: he's an actual baby

Whammy: like

Whammy: he is baby

Whammy: goo goo ga ga

Crackyoin: How's everyone's morning/night so far

JoJolyne: uneventful

Kars2: it's about to be very eventful

JoJolyne: what

Kars2: sorry i thought you were joseph

JoHoe: kars

Kars2: no

JoHoe: KARS

Kars2: 1 hour jojo

Kars2: i'm coming

Kars2: say goodbye

JoHoe: goodbye

Whammy: good boy who wants a scooby snack

JoHoe: stop talking

ACDC: not evil anymore i want to be loved

JoHoe: no one will ever love you you giant manchild

ACDC: evil again

Whammy: i love you

ACDC: aw... wamuu...

Kars2: i also love you esidisi

ACDC: a...aw.... you guys................

Kars2: hey guys

Kars2: when i get back to earth can we fuck

Chapter Text

Name clarifications:

koichi: Koichi

Trishy: Trish

JoHoe: Joseph

Obomba/smog: Smokey

Kars2: Kars

Shiza: Caesar

JoJolyne: Jolyne

Nanancia: Narancia

Bruno: Bruno

Fugo: Fugo

DIO: DIO

Food fighters: F.F./Foo Fighters

Emperorio: Emporio

i love jolyne/Annakiss: Anasui

sane diamond: Josuke

Yukakko: Yukako

Herpes: Hermes

koichi: I'm bleeding

Trishy: oh no are you on your period lmao

koichi: i

koichi: i'm a guy

koichi: but yes

Trishy: huh??????????

JoHoe: got boy pussy?

Obomba: good morning ladie and gentlleman

JoHoe: hay smokay

Obomba: hay

Obomba: wait

Obomba: why is my name obama

JoHoe: YAHAHAHHAHAAH

Obomba: j jojo

JoHoe: thats what they call me

smog: either way i changed it back

smog: but i'm guessing you hacked my discord again

smog: didn't you

JoHoe: if i said no would you believe me

Shiza: smokey i'm SO sorry

Shiza: jojo you're not funny

JoHoe: what are you talking about i'm hilarious

smog: that block button looking real sexy right now

JoHoe: you know what else

JoHoe: isl ooking real sexy right now

Shiza: not you

smog: not you

Shiza: haha smokey

Shiza: you owe me a soda

JoHoe: yyou guys are just in denial

Kars2: why the fuck isnt there an olive garden in italy

JoHoe: I KNOW RIGHT

Shiza: i'm about to kill both of you

smog: what are you tallking about kars

smog: italy is in olive garden

Trishy: BWAHDBLASJDABSLD

Trishy: OK LIKE IM ITALIAN BUT THATS FUCKING FUNNY OK

Shiza: traitor

Shiza: hand over your italian privileges

Trishy: AJHSBDLASJDNA<S

JoJolyne: TRISH

Trishy: JOLYNE

JoJolyne: WERE YOU SERIOUS ABOUT BEING PREEGANT

Trishy: EYE

Trishy: PREEGANT

smog: pregante

Trishy: BASDAMMZMZZM NO

Trishy: I CANT GET PORGANT

JoJolyne: WHAT

Trishy: PESGANT

Trishy: PGRANTIE

Trishy: PEASANT

JoJolyne: I HAVE NO OXYGEN

Trishy: NASJDNALSKDJNAS

JoJolyne: WHAT DO YOU MEAN TRISH

Trishy: I CANT TELL YOU

Trishy: ITS A SECRET

Nanancia: she cant get pregannente becase

Nanancia: becase im tra

Nanancia: im trans

JoHoe: transparent?

Nanancia: NO

Nanancia: IM TRANSGENDER

Bruno: I'm the trans parent

Trishy: BUCCELLATI AKJDNKSAJDNASJDN

Nanancia: congrats on coming out king

Bruno: No I'm

Bruno: Because I'm the parent

Bruno: Of

Fugo: it's ok buccellati narancia's retarded

koichi: Hey @Nanancia I'm trans too!!

Trishy: oh yeah its all coming together

i love jolyne: i am a trans guy as well

JoJolyne: annasui please go away

i love jolyne: jolyne

JoJolyne: i'm still gay

i love jolyne: are you still gay

i love jolyne: ok

koichi: We must summon the other trannies in the server

koichi: Raise your hand if you trans

Nanancia: can we

Nanancia: can we make a separate tranny server

koichi: YES

koichi: Hang on i'll invite you and Annasui

i love jolyne: can you invite jolyne

koichi: Uh

koichi: is she trans????

i love jolyne: no i just love her

koichi: i

koichi: I'm sorry i

Nanancia: @everyone if you are a trans gender come here

Food fighters: i'm nb does that count!!

koichi: yes

DIO: What's happening

Nanancia: we're making a trans server

Nanancia: are you trans

DIO: What's trans

sane diamond: it's when you steal other peoples genders

koichi: It's when you're born as one gender and then identify as a different one from the one you were assigned at birth

koichi: if that makes sense

koichi: OMG JOSUKE

Nanancia: LMAOO

Nanancia: there's only one gender and it's mine

Nanancia: y'all cant have it

koichi: mom says it's my turn on the gender

Emperorio: stop quoting tumblr! emporio out

JoJolyne: EMPORIO

JoJolyne: COME BACK

Emperorio: no

Emperorio left the chat

Food fighters: EMPRIO!!

Food fighters: where did he go

Food fighters added Emperorio

Food fighters: son

JoJolyne: son

Herpes: SON

Emperorio: FOO MOM

Emperorio: MOM

Emperorio: MADRE

Trishy: BWHADBLSAJDLAS

koichi added Yukakko

Yukakko: I heard we were summoning the trannies

Nanancia: YES WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THE TRANNY CHAT

Yukakko: Yes

i love jolyne: who is this

koichi: My girlfriend

Yukakko: I'm Koichi's future wife

Nanancia: annasui can you change your name maybe

Nanancia: it's a bit confusing

i love jolyne: no

Nanancia: please

i love jolyne: no

JoJolyne: please annasui

i love jolyne: of course jolyne

annakiss: there

JoJolyne: THANK GOD

Herpes: oh annasui finally change his name?

Herpes: hell yeah

annakiss: jolyne

annakiss: are you still gay

Chapter Text

Nickname clarifications:

!!Mista: Mista

Trishy: Trish

ice ice baby: Vanilla Ice

Jotaro: Jotaro

Crackyoin:

JoHoe: Joseph

Kars2: Kars

smog: Smokey

JoJolyne: Jolyne

Shiza: Caesar

sane diamond: Josuke

Jonathan: Jonathan

Speedweed: Speedwagon

Zeppenis: Will Anthonio/Baron Zeppeli

Erina: Erina

lisa lisa lisa: Lisa Lisa

Seiko: Holly Kujo

Suzie Kyu: Suzi Q

PolNareff: Polnareff

Abdul: Avdol

DIO: DIO

Herpes: Hermes

Lucy: Lucy Steel

Gyrosexual: Gyro

Joknee: Johnny

Unfunny Valentine: Funny Valentine

!!Mista: god i

!!Mista: i have to piss so bad

Trishy: then go

!!Mista: i'm lazy

!!Mista: hey trish

Trishy: what do you want

!!Mista: can i pee in your vagina and you clench your pussy muscles and carry it to the toilet for me

Trishy: ASAKSLDASJKXKLASMXLAUERU

Trishy: NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN

ice ice baby: I finally reinstall discord

ice ice baby: And this is what I'm greeted with

ice ice baby: Why

Jotaro: shut up pucci kinnie

ice ice baby: Excuse me

Jotaro: you're excused

Crackyoin: why did you fart

ice ice baby: Not funny

Crackyoin: didn't laugh

JoHoe: kakyoin.... that meme is literally older than the pillarmen

Kars2: Jojo

Kars2: where are you

JoHoe: not in italy

Kars2: why not

Kars2: what country are you in

JoHoe: florida

Kars2: never heard of it

Kars2: but i'm on my way

smog: isn't florida a state in america

JoHoe: he doesn't know that

JoJolyne: honestly it qualifies as its own country at this point

JoJolyne: i should know cause i live here

smog: oh cool jolyne i live in new york

smog: well i did

smog: i'm in italy rn with caesar and joseph

JoJolyne: didn't joseph JUST say he wasn't in italy

JoHoe: i lied

Kars2: i'm still here

JoHoe: ok

JoHoe: come find me then

Kars2: i will

Kars2: where are you

JoHoe: do you have a gps

Kars2: do i have a what

JoHoe: its like a direction device

JoHoe: you can get a gps app on your phone

Kars2: ok

Kars2: now what

JoHoe: type in "sexy" and it'll take you to my house

Shiza: JOJO

Kars2: you think you're fucking slick don't you jojo

JoHoe: i'll tell you what's slick

Shiza: jojo

JoHoe: this dick

Shiza: JOJO PLEASE

JoJolyne: sir you are being arrested for horny crimes

JoHoe: if being hot is a crime then arrest me

Shiza: i want

Shiza: to kill you

JoHoe: do it

JoHoe: you won't

Shiza: i know where you sleep jojo

Shiza: wait

Shiza: don't answer that

Shiza: STOP TYPING

JoHoe: i sleep with you ;)

sane diamond: hello

Shiza: JOJO

Shiza: DIE

JoHoe: i know you love me caesar

Shiza: i don't

JoHoe: oh yeah then what was that last night

Shiza: i

sane diamond: goodbye

Jonathan: I leave for a couple days and this is what's been going on!!

Jonathan: I will start muting people for inappropriate conversations

Speedweed: Maybe you need more active mods Joestar

Jonathan: Good thinking Speedwagon :)

JoHoe: @everyone petition to make a server without jonathan

Jonathan: What!!

Zeppenis: HAHHHAHAAHA

Jonathan: That hurt my feelings Joseph

JoHoe: cry about it

Shiza: watch your tongue jojo

JoHoe: oh?

sane diamond: caesar you really need to start thinking before you speak

Jonathan added Erina, lisa lisa lisa, Suzie Kyu, and Seiko

Jonathan: Hopefully these lovely ladies will be more active and mature!

Jotaro: why the fuck did you add my mom

Seiko: Jotaro!! How are you? <3

Jotaro: fuck off

Jonathan: Goodness, Jotaro! That is no way to treat your own mother!

Jonathan: This is your final warning!

Jotaro: final warning for what

Seiko: Jotaro, why won't you answer my texts?? I worry about you

Jotaro: yare yare

Jotaro: leave me alone

Jonathan muted Jotaro for 2 hours

Reason: Disrespectful to mother

Crackyoin: HA

Crackyoin: @PolNareff @Abdul CHECK THIS OUT GUYS JOTARO GOT MUTED

PolNareff: BWHAHAHAHANNNNN

Abdul: Hahaha!

Seiko: I'm so sorry Jotaro!! I forgive you :(

Seiko: How are you, Kakyoin?

Crackyoin: i'm good! how are you? :)

PolNareff: lets hope kakyoin can keep his dick in his pants around jotaros mommy

Crackyoin: polnareff

Crackyoin: i'm gay and dating jotaro

Seiko muted PolNareff for half an hour

Reason: Inappropriate? Jonathan please tell me if I'm doing this right

Seiko: Sorry! I want to do my best!!

Crackyoin: HAHASDHFSDFA

JoJolyne: holy shit

JoJolyne: the world is ending

Crackyoin: it's not that big of a deal i hope

Jonathan muted JoJolyne for 1 hour

Reason: Swearing

Crackyoin: nevermind

Jonathan: @Seiko You're doing great!! Don't worry :)

!!Mista: oh my god

!!Mista: OH MY GOD

!!Mista: WHATS HAPPENIGN

!!Mista: THIS ISNT REAL

JoHoe: once again, petition to make a server without Jonathan

Suzie Kyu muted JoHoe for 24 hours

Reason: annoying

!!Mista: 24 HOURS

!!Mista: TWENTY FOUR FUCKING HOURS

Jonathan muted !!Mista for 2 hours

Reason: Swearing

Crackyoin: we're living in a real life ya dystopian novel

DIO: Jonathan, what are you doing

DIO: This is madness

DIO unmuted PolNareff, !!Mista, JoHoe, and JoJolyne

PolNareff: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

!!Mista: daddy long dick just landed in LA baby

JoJolyne: return of the sith

JoHoe: joseph joestar

PolNareff: @DIO unmute jotaro

DIO: no

DIO: Jotaro will stay muted

JoJolyne: you're a cunt

DIO kicked JoJolyne from the server

DIO: Who's next

Jonathan: I should've known better than to make you a moderator, Dio

Jonathan: Of course you would abuse your power!

!!Mista: WHAT DID YOU EXPECT HE'S LITERALLY DIO

Jonathan unmuted Jotaro

Jonathan added JoJolyne

Jonathan: I will be a bit more relaxed on the rules

Jonathan: It seems they only cause more trouble

Jotaro: dio

DIO: Jotaro

PolNareff: jotaroapproachingdio.png

JoJolyne: BAJSLSDJASKLDJNSALKDIWE

DIO: Jonathan where is my moderation menu

Jonathan: I removed you as mod

Jonathan: You're abusing your power

Jonathan renamed the server to "Jojo Friends GC"

DIO: You insufferable buffoon

DIO: I'm making my own server

DIO: @everyone DM me if you want in

Jotaro: don't bother adding me

DIO: I wasn't going to

DIO: Awfully conceited of you to assume I would

Jotaro: shut the fuck up

PolNareff: dio you are literally the biggest narcissist i've ever met

Crackyoin: i agree, it's a bit hypocritical of you to call Jotaro conceited

DIO: Do you want to be in my server or not

Crackyoin: i'll only say yes if you invite jotaro

DIO: Then you can sit out in misery

DIO: I'm not inviting Jotaro

Jotaro: good

Jotaro: i didn't want to be in it anyways

PolNareff: i'm not coming either if jotaro isn't in it

Abdul: And I as well. DIO, you need to learn to swallow your ego.

JoJolyne: hell yeah we're forming a union

JoJolyne: goin on strike

!!Mista: everyone boycott dio's shitty server

Crackyoin: Jotaro, you should make your own server to counter Dio's

Jotaro: ok

DIO: You're all missing out

DIO: I, DIO, have tons of DMs already begging for me to invite them

Jotaro: i highly doubt that

DIO: See for yourself, Jotaro

DIO: screenshot2.png

JoJolyne: HERMES

JoJolyne: @Herpes WHY DID YOU ASK TO BE IN DIOS SERVER

Herpes: what

Herpes: ASDBLASJDNLASKJEWI

Herpes: IM SORRY

Herpes: ALL I SAW WAS THE PING I DIDNT KNOW WE WERE GOING ON STRIKE

JoJolyne: I WANT A DIVORCE

Herpes: NOOOOOOOO

JoJolyne: not gonna lie doe i'll miss ur pussy stank

Herpes: AKSJBDLSAMMMMMMNAJSDAS

sane diamond: if your pussy stank

sane diamond: you got 2 buttholes

Herpes: IVE ASCENDED INTO THE NEXT DIMENSION

Unfunny Valentine: really now,

Herpes: AJSN

Herpes: who is this guy

Joknee: dont listen to him thats the us president

Herpes: WHAT

Herpes: MR PRESIDENT????????????????

JoJolyne: MRS OBAMA GET DOWN

Lucy: Hello?

Lucy: Oh

Lucy: What's going on

Joknee: nothing lucy its nothing

Gyrosexual: cover your virgin eyes lucy steel we'er about to kill the us president

Lucy: please do

Unfunny Valentine: oh yeah

Unfunny Valentine: but can you do this

Unfunny Valentine left the chat

Joknee: FUCK

Gyrosexual: NYO HO

Lucy: you can just invite him back

Joknee: NO

Joknee: DONT

Lucy: o ok

sane diamond: what in the name of fuck is going ON

sane diamond: WHO ARE YOU

Joknee: i'm johnny joestar

sane diamond: ANOTHER JOESTAR???? HOW MANY TIMES DID JOSEPH CHEAT ON HIS WIFE

JoHoe: sorry what

Joknee: w

Gyrosexual: im gyro zeppeli baby

JoHoe: oh

JoHoe: are you caesars brother or something

Gyrosexual: what...

Gyrosexual: caesar is my middle name

Shiza: what the fuck

DIO: Do you guys want to be in my dio fuckhouse server

Joknee: idfk

Joknee: who are you

Joknee: DIO

Joknee: YOURE DIO???

DIO: Yeah

Joknee: FUCK YOU DIO

DIO: Ok bend over

Joknee: i cant im paraplegic

sane diamond: i'm so conufsed

Chapter Text

Nickname clarifications:

DIO: DIO

Herpes: Hermes

GioGio: Giorno

Trishy: Trish

Nanancia: Narancia

Food fighters: F.F./Foo Fighters

ice ice baby: Vanilla Ice

half horse: Hol Horse

pucci gang: Pucci

sane diamond: Josuke

Kars2: Kars

JoHoe: Joseph

Shiza: Caesar

ZA HANDO: Okuyasu

ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫: Rohan

Fugo: Fugo

Cold Pants: Hot Pants

Bruno: Bruno

Pisstachio: Abbacchio

Zeppenis: Zeppeli

smog: Smokey

DIO created "dio fuckhouse"

DIO: Welcome to my fuckhouse

DIO added Herpes, GioGio, Trishy, Nanancia, Food fighters, ice ice baby, half horse, pucci gang, sane diamond, Kars2, JoHoe, Shiza, ZA HANDO, ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫, Fugo, Cold Pants, Bruno, Pisstachio, Zeppenis, and smog

Herpes: wow

sane diamond: i feel so honored

sane diamond: like i just got invited to sit at the cool kids table

ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫: what the shit is this?

sane diamond: ROHAN

ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫: josuke what the fuck?

sane diamond: YOURE A MEMBER OF THE FUCKHOUSE

ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫: why did "DIO" invite me here

DIO: Josuke told me to invite you

DIO: screenshot3.png

ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫: JOSUKE I DO NOT LOVE BIG DICK????

sane diamond: so you love small dick?

Fugo: LMFAOOOO

ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫 left the chat

Herpes: rohan wants some of josukes micropenis

sane diamond: EX FUCING SCUSE ME

Herpes: BAJSDBLASKDJBLWAE

DIO: I am proud to say that my cock is 8 inches

Trishy: WHAT

Trishy: BYE

Herpes: I DIDNT NEED THAT INFROMATION

JoHoe: amateurs

JoHoe: i'm 10 miles long

Shiza: no you are NOT

JoHoe: yeah you're right

JoHoe: you've seen it

Shiza: shut up jojo

sane diamond: i dont have a micropenis

Herpes: im gonna stop you right there

Trishy: PLEASE DONT TELL US THE EXACT LENGTH ASBFLKSJDAFL

sane diamond: what

sane diamond: why would i do that

sane diamond: i'd make joseph jealous

Herpes: AS JDBLSAJDBNLSAKD

Trishy: NFLDNMCVNMCLFNDEOo

JoHoe: yeah right

sane diamond: yes right

JoHoe: alright listen im not about to argue with someone whos probably my great great great grandson or whatever over dick size but i can assure you i'm much larger

sane diamond: ok dad

JoHoe: sorry what

Herpes: can we please change the subject

JoHoe: no

sane diamond: no

DIO: no

Herpes: dio you already lost this fight

DIO: No one's dick can be that big, they're obviously lying

Fugo: r/wooosh

Shiza: idiota

Herpes: ANYFUCKINGWAYS

GioGio: Hello

GioGio: Damn, dio really lived up to his word and didn't invite jotaro and the others

Herpes: yeah tbh it's kinda boring without jolyne

Fugo: and it's really boring without mista

Fugo added !!Mista

Herpes: good idea fugo

Herpes added JoJolyne

JoJolyne: huh

JoJolyne: I'M IN

Herpes: welcome to hell jolyne

!!Mista: i thought we were boycotting dio's server

Zeppenis: you just can't stay away from dio

ice ice baby: damn right

DIO removed JoJolyne and !!Mista

DIO: Fugo

Fugo: what bitch

Fugo: HOLY SHIT

DIO: You betrayed me

Fugo: dude CHILL this isn't

Fugo: THIS IS DISCORD

Herpes: BWAHAHHAAHAHSKADSA

DIO: You aren't safe either Hermes

Herpes: DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

DIO: I'm not pleased with either of you

Herpes: dio please calm the hell down it's just .... discord ....

Fugo: we didn't even say we were gonna bend over backwards to your every word

Fugo: retard

Herpes: fugo--

DIO: You pledged loyalty to me when you asked to be in this server

Herpes: i

Fugo: no the fuck we did not cunthole

Trishy: dio if you're that upset just kick them from the server already

Trishy: no need to make it a show

DIO: screenshot4.png

DIO: screenshot5.png

Herpes: dont tell me you were SERIOUS ABOUT THAT MESSAGE DUDE

Fugo: jesus fuck

Herpes: cmon fugo lets just leave and ask to be in jotaros server

DIO: I will hunt the both of you down

Fugo: daddy chill

Herpes: DIO PLEASE I

Trishy: dio this isn't that big of a deal

Nanancia: hey guys what s happening

Nanancia: ohoho we're already having discord drama

Zeppenis: this is dio i think it crosses the line between "discord drama" and "someone should contact jotaro or a stand user who can stop dio from committing two murders in the near future"

DIO: Hermes lives in Florida right

Herpes: WHAT

Herpes: HOW

Herpes: HELP

DIO: And Fugo is in Italy somewhere

Fugo: no

Fugo: i'm in

Fugo: a

Fugo: antarctica

Herpes: GOODBYE

Herpes left the chat

Fugo: coward

Trishy: no i don't blame her fugo

Trishy: suddenly i'm very uncomfortable

Trishy left the chat

sane diamond: see dio youre scaring everyone away

Fugo: okay yeah

Fugo left the chat

DIO: Serves them right

sane diamond: aren't you tired of going apeshit

sane diamond: dont you just want to be nice

DIO: no

DIO added Herpes, Fugo, and Trishy

Fugo left the chat

Herpes: SERIOUSLY

Herpes left the chat

Trishy: FAT FUCKING SIGH

JoHoe: im about to end this mans whole career

Shiza: jojo if you do what i think you're gonna do

JoHoe added JoJolyne, !!Mista, PolNareff, Jotaro, Crackyoin, Herpes, and Abdul

Shiza: j

Trishy: it was (not) nice knowing you joseph

JoHoe: ;)

JoHoe: everybody betray dio

JoHoe: he can't kill all of us

DIO: i absolutely can

Jotaro: not if i have anything to say about it

DIO: Well well well, Jotaro

DIO: You showed up

DIO: What are you going to do now?

Jotaro: kill you

!!Mista: please dont tell me this is serious

!!Mista: nobodys gonna die right

Jotaro: only dio

JoJolyne: WBAAAHAHAHHA

Abdul: I feel like I should be doing something about this

Crackyoin: no just sit back and let it happen

PolNareff: enjoy the show mon cherie

DIO: Alright Jotaro, I'll be waiting for you in my mansion that you still have yet to find

Jotaro: look outside

DIO: WHAT

JoJolyne: OH

JoJolyne: OH MY GOD

JoJolyne: S OMONE

JoJolyne: SOMEONE RECORD THIS PLEASE

sane diamond: YOUR DAD COULD LITERALLY DIE AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS GETTING IT ON VIDEO

JoJolyne: SHUT THE FUCK UP JOSUKE AT LEAST I KNEW WHO MY DAD WAS MY ENTIRE LIFE

sane diamond: FUCKING CUNT I'M STILL IN AMERICA I'LL COME BACK TO FLORIDA RIGHT NOW

ZA HANDO: we're in cali!!

ZA HANDO: i've always wanted to go to california....

!!Mista: HOW

!!Mista: THATS LITERALLY CLEAR ACROSS THE COUNTRY

!!Mista: HOW DID YOU ACCOMPLISH THIS

JoJolyne: @sane diamond DO IT PUSSY YOU WONT

sane diamond: I WILL

JoJolyne: I'LL KICK YOUR ASS THIS TIME

Food fighters: babe no!!!!

JoJolyne: stay back ff this isnt your fight

JoJolyne: get behine me

Food fighters: ASADSSDSnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

DIO: @Jotaro Do you really think you're so smart

Jotaro: yes

DIO: You can't fool me

JoHoe: you checked didn't you

DIO: No

JoHoe: yes you did

DIO: I did not

JoHoe: your next line is "Unlike you Joestars, I don't succumb to such elementary tricks"~

DIO: Unlike you Joestars, I don't succumb to such elementary tricks

DIO: GO TO HELL JOSEPH

JoHoe: <3

JoJolyne: AHAasnflsjdfnalsdjfn

DIO: On my way to Italy rn

DIO added Fugo

DIO: @Fugo

Fugo: I SAID I WAS SORRY

DIO: No you didn't fool

Fugo: i said it in my head

DIO: That doesn't count

Fugo: thats it

Fugo: i'm leaving italy

DIO: You won't

Fugo: you think i'm kidding? just booked my $5 coronavirus flight to mexico wyd

Herpes: FUGO

Herpes: COME TO FLORIDA

Fugo: no

Herpes: PLEASE

JoJolyne: coronavirus

Trishy: guys stay home! dont spread the virus

DIO: I'm immune to every virus

Trishy: ok and???? you could still give it to someone else

DIO: Do you think I give a fuck

Trishy: no you're right

Trishy: you only care about yourself

Fugo: AAAAAAAAAHA

!!Mista: fugo shut the hell up this is literally all your fault

Fugo: WHAT

!!Mista: when you attacked narancia the other day

!!Mista: you started coronavirus

!!Mista: with your purple haze

Trishy: THATS WHY ITALY IS ON LOCKDOWN

Trishy: FUCKING FUGO

Fugo: FIRST OF ALL PURPLE HAZE AND COVID19 HAVE VASTLY DIFFERENT SYMPTOMS

sane diamond: stop making excuses fugo just drop dead already

Fugo: FUCK YOU JOSUKE ILL MAKE YOU DROP DEAD

sane diamond: no (cocks gun) not if i kill myself first

Fugo: BRUH

ZA HANDO: JOSUKE NO

!!Mista: cocks

JoJolyne: cocks

Fugo: cocks

sane diamond: FUCK YALL NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT SEX

JoJolyne: what are you talking about? this is dio's fuckhouse of course everythings about sex

Fugo: @DIO are you in italy yet

DIO: No

DIO: I wasn't serious

Fugo: WHAT

Trishy: BWAHLDBSAJDBLSAJD

Herpes: omfg i literally cannot tell with this guy

JoHoe added Jonathan

DIO: omw to italy again

Chapter Text

Nickname clarifications

sane diamond: Josuke

Herpes: Hermes

HP lovecraft: Hot Pants

JoJolyne: Jolyne

Diosaur: Diego

horse hole: Hol Horse

boy go: Boingo

DIO: DIO

Joknee: Johnny

Gyrosexual: Gyro

Lucy: Lucy Steel

MounTim: Mountain Tim

Unfunny Valentine: Funny Valentine

SoundMan: Sandman/Soundman

Oldseph: P3 Joseph Joestar

Trishy: Trish

Nanancia: Narancia

!!Mista: Mista

Jotaro: Jotaro

Crackyoin: Kakyoin

annakiss: Anasui

koichi: Koichi

ZA HANDO: Okuyasu

PolNareff: Polnareff

Shiza: Caesar

Server: Jojo Friends GC

--

sane diamond: wow this chat died

Herpes: yeah everyone's busy in dio's server now

Herpes: it pretty much replaced this one cause everyone from here is like

Herpes: in there now

sane diamond: damn

Herpes: yeah the only difference is that dio is the admin and he made pucci and vanilla ice the mods

sane diamond: yeah im kinda also in the server so.... i know

Herpes: ok

sane diamond: ok

Herpes: ok

sane diamond: ok

Herpes: ok

sane diamond: ok

HP lovecraft: hey

HP lovecraft: my boyfriend wants to know if you can invite us there

Herpes: who's your bf

sane diamond: omg its H.P. lovecraft

sane diamond: mr lovecraft im your biggest fan

HP lovecraft: his name is diego

HP lovecraft: he goes by 'dio' though and i think he made the other dio pissed like a week ago because of it

sane diamond: mr lovecraft please

Herpes: OH THAT GUY SHJFHKDSJHF

Herpes: JOSUKES STOP TALKING LOVECRAFT WAS SO RACIST

sane diamond: ok but he also invented books

HP lovecraft: i'm sorry, i just made it my name because he has my initials

HP lovecraft: anyways, yeah. can you invite us Herpes

Herpes: sure

Herpes: also my real name is hermes so please just say that instead im begging you

HP lovecraft: ok herpes

Herpes: what's your address asking for a friend

Server: dio's fuckhouse

--

JoJolyne: hey whatever happened to that other dio guy

Herpes added HP lovecraft and Diosaur

JoJolyne: oh

sane diamond: perfect timing

horse hole: wait that's illegal

Herpes: oh yeah? last time i checked dio rejected you when you asked to be a mod so be quiet

horse hole: fuck you i do what i want

horse hole: i hate dio he doesnt control me

DIO: hol horse

horse hole: yes mr lord dio sir

JoJolyne: HA

HP lovecraft: @Diosaur i did it

DIO: What's going on

Diosaur: OWO

DIO: For the love of god

Diosaur: <3 XD rawr hewwo <3

sane diamond: AHAHAHAHHADSJADKSD

HP lovecraft: just ignore him

HP lovecraft: i'm sorry this had to happen but he said i could peg him if i got him back into the server

Herpes: damn girl hope you have fun

Diosaur: im scared

HP lovecraft: good

HP lovecraft: im gonna peg you so hard youll end up like johnny

Diosaur: HOT PANTS THATS SO MEAN xd

HP lovecraft: well im mean

Diosaur added Joknee

HP lovecraft: do you really think i care if he sees

boy go: please stop adding strangers

Diosaur: no

Diosaur added Gyrosexual, Unfunny Valentine, Lucy, MounTim, and SoundMan

boy go: ahhhhh (hides under a box) ahhhhh

horse hole: oh my god.... boingo...........................

boy go: sorry i cant hear you i am in the box

boy go: go away

Diosaur: @Joknee look what hot pants said about you

Joknee: what

Joknee: dio.

Diosaur: jony.

Joknee: i dont care

Gyrosexual: JONY

Joknee: GY

Joknee: GYRO

Gyrosexual: kiss me bf

Joknee: ok bf

Diosaur: digusting

Lucy: Why

Diosaur: im homophobic

Lucy: What's homophobic?

Joknee: it means he's afraid of homes

Diosaur: no it doesnt joestar

Gyrosexual: ooohhhh free real estate

Joknee: stop it gyro youre scaring him!!!

MounTim: anyone in this server smoke weed

Gyrosexual: no

Joknee: weed isnt real

MounTim: good

Lucy: What's weed?

Diosaur: i think its like leafs or something

MounTim: *leaves

Diosaur: where are you going

DIO: @everyone

DIO: How do I do one of those announcement things

Crackyoin: what

Crackyoin: what are you talking about

JoHoe: do you mean like pinning a message???

DIO: no

DIO: Like making an announcement

Joknee: whats the announcement

DIO: You will see

DIO: Now how do i do it

Joknee: do you mean like

Joknee: wait

Joknee: just make a separate channel for announcements

DIO: How do I make a separate channel

Joknee: oh my god

Jotaro: @Joknee don't let him get to you he's like 127 years old or something

Shiza: WHO PINGED

Joknee: dio just

Joknee: just make me admin i'll do it for you

DIO: How do I know I can trust you

DIO: That other dio called you 'joestar'

Joknee: yeah that's my last name

Joknee: why? do you not like it

DIO: I hate all joestars

Joknee: i hate all dios

Diosaur: fuck you joh

Diosaur: nny

Gyrosexual: johnny what if i changed my name to dio

Joknee: gryo i

Gyrosexual: would you hate me

Joknee: that's a stupid question because you wouldn't do it

Dio Gyro: johnny....

Joknee: GYRO NO

Dio Gyro: do you hate me johnny...?

Joknee: GYRO

Dio Gyro: johnny it's me...... please look at me... johny....... joh... ne.....

Joknee: GRYOO

DIO: Is there anyone else who knows how to make an announcement channel?

SoundMan:

DIO: What

JoJolyne: who pinged me

SoundMan:

JoJolyne: holy shit

JoJolyne: how is he doing that

Diosaur: ew its sandman </3

SoundMan:

Trishy: mr sandman

Nanancia: bring me a dream

!!Mista: bum bum bum bum

JoHoe: make him the cutest that ive ever seen

SoundMan:

annakiss: jolyne

JoJolyne: yall hear somthin

Trishy: YOU RUINED IT

JoJolyne: fuck... im so sorry

annakiss: are you still gay

JoJolyne: yeah

Herpes: omg he still doin it

Herpes: i wonder what he would do if you said no

JoJolyne: OMG

JoJolyne: that would be so fucking funny the next time he asks im doing it

JoJolyne: anyways @DIO i can help

DIO: no youre a joestar

JoJolyne: my last name is cujoh

DIO: But your father is a joestar

Jotaro: my last name is kujo

DIO: Then your father is a joestar

Jotaro: his last name is also kujo

DIO: Then his father is a joestar

Jotaro: i don't know what his father's last name is but i'm gonna take a wild guess and say it's also kujo

DIO: What the fuck. where does the joe start

JoJolyne: HSAJKHDAISDJ

Oldseph: first of all you're going in the wrong direction because it's jotaro's mother

Oldseph: then me

Oldseph: then goerge joestar 2 then jonathan then george joestar 1

JoJolyne: then george joestar 0?????

Oldseph: that's forbidden knowledge

JoJolyne: that's forbidden knowledge and i'm eve from the bible so tell me. is there a gorge gostar 0

JoHoe: can i ask a question

Oldseph: you just did

JoHoe: haha youre so funny die

JoHoe: anyways who the fuck are you

Oldseph: that's

Oldseph: kinda hard to explain

JoHoe: i want answers

Oldseph: sweats

Oldseph: hang on i have to uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Oldseph: do old people things

Oldseph: chow

JoJolyne: CHOW

JoHoe: shit head

Shiza: i came in here just to remind you that it's CIAO not CHOW cazzo

Oldseph: at least i didnt get crushed under a ceiling tile

Shiza: what the fuck was that cunt?????

DIO: Ok I figured it out

DIO: Everyone check #announcements

JoJolyne: im scared

Joknee: WHAT THE FUCK

sane diamond: did dio just make an announcement asking if anyone was dtf

JoJolyne: are you really surprised cause im not

sane diamond: no i was just making sure im not hallucinating

Crackyoin: oh you are

Crackyoin: it's a mass hallucination

JoJolyne: HASJKAD I N E E D TO KNOW IF ANYONE ACCEPTED THE OFFER

DIO: Someone did

JoJolyne: GNSLKDFSLDKFHLSD

sane diamond: WHO

DIO: That is between me and them

sane diamond: please tell me ill pay you

DIO: Money does not interest me

sane diamond: damn

sane diamond: i would say i'd suck your dick but i absolutely would not

koichi: josuke you are 16 please dont say that

sane diamond: i just said i wouldn't

sane diamond: now who the fucks the simp thats getting vampire dick

sane diamond: @everyone come forward pussy

horse hole: wait

horse hole: does "sleep with me" mean "have sex with me"

JoJolyne: ......yes

Crackyoin: wait a damn minute

PolNareff: HOL UP

PolNareff: HOL UP!!!!!!

Oldseph: HOL HORSE????????????????????????????????????????????????

PolNareff: get it cause 'hol'

sane diamond: oh my god

PolNareff: 'hol up' horse

Jonathan: I don't know who Hol Horse is but @horse hole You don't have to say yes

DIO: Stay out of this jojo

PolNareff: please laugh

horse hole: jonathan help me

Jonathan: :(

Diosaur: what the hell gay little cowboy

Gyrosexual: you rang

SoundMan:

Diosaur: does anyone have a way of translating what he's saying

SoundMan:

SoundMan:

SoundMan:

Joknee: it literally says he's typing and everything

ZA HANDO: someone please save me from this never ending nightmare

koichi: Okuyasu are you ok? what happened

ZA HANDO: josukes been in the bathroom for 30 minutes

Chapter Text

Nickname clarifications:

Crackyoin: Kakyoin

Diosaur: Diego

sane diamond: Josuke

JoJolyne: Jolyne

pucci gang: Pucci

DIO: DIO

HP lovecraft: Hot Pants

GioGio: Giorno

Diabolo: Diavolo

Herpes: Hermes

food fighters: Foo Fighters/F.F.

Jotaro: Jotaro

JoHoe: P2 Joseph

Shiza: Caesar

PolPol: Polnareff

!Irene!: Irene

!DIO OVER HEAVEN: DIO Over Heaven

Server: Dio's fuckhouse

--

Crackyoin: hey everyone

Crackyoin: i have an idea

Diosaur: what

Crackyoin: what if we

Crackyoin: took over this server

Diosaur: omg

Diosaur: do it

sane diamond: whos gonna be the new admin

Crackyoin: we'll have a vote

sane diamond: oh hell yeah....

JoJolyne: sounds sick lets do it

pucci gang: What's going on

JoJolyne: nothing go back to church

pucci gang: I don't think so @DIO

JoJolyne: you know what pucci

pucci gang: What

JoJolyne: i hate you

pucci gang: I know

sane diamond: so fucked up. why would you say that

JoJolyne: im insane

DIO: No one is taking over this server it's mine

Crackyoin: its too late dio

HP lovecraft: whats that one thing called where you kill the captain and shit

JoJolyne: mulan

sane diamond: mutiny

HP lovecraft: yeah mickey mouse or whatever

DIO: what the fuck

JoJolyne: howd you get mickey mouse out of that

HP lovecraft: yeah well this is. this isthat

HP lovecraft: walk the plank

DIO: no

HP lovecraft: ill push you off

DIO: No you won't I'll kill you

HP lovecraft: i'm a bad bitch you can't kill me

HP lovecraft: long live the king (pushes you into an oncoming stampede of wildebeests)

DIO: I can and will kill you.

DIO: im coming for you your days are numbered

DIO: so watch out

HP lovecraft: we're not even from the same universe

DIO: dont care ill still kill you

HP lovecraft: kay

HP lovecraft: have fun with that

Crackyoin: ok lets hold an official vote

Crackyoin: whos the new mafia boss of this hellhole

Crackyoin: @everyone come vote

GioGio: i call dibs

Diabolo: no

GioGio: eat my ass you male stripper bitch old ass cunt fucking fucker fucky fuck fuck you fuck

JoJolyne: lmao

Diabolo: sorry king crimson mustve skipped past the part where i asked

GioGio: die

Diabolo: sorry im already busy dying right now

Diabolo: oh would you look at that. my schedules all booked. full of... hm. dying

Diabolo: wonder whos fault that is

GioGio: xoxo

sane diamond: what if we voted jonathan as admin. that would be funny i think .

JoJolyne: hes already admin in his own server

sane diamond: yeah thats why it would be FUNNY dumbass

JoJolyne: josuke

JoJolyne: i hate you so much its unreal

sane diamond: Ok.

JoJolyne: fucking hell

JoJolyne: hair

sane diamond: what about it

JoJolyne: its ugly

sane diamond: like.... all hair?

JoJolyne: no just yours

Herpes: LMAOOO

Herpes: OMG HES BEEN TYPING FOR A THOUSAN DYEARS

JoJolyne: let him speak i can take it

sane diamond: I HATE YOU JOYLANE LITTLE SHIT WOOF WOOF GGRRRRRR BARKA BRAKRBAKRBKA HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HISS GROALSALS BAWK BAWK BAWK YAYAYAYAYAIPIPIPIP ASFLDSF GRR PSITPS IPTIS SPSPSPSPSPS PSPPSPSPS BOOF WOOFA BABARO BORKA SJFBDSJ WAOBS OINK NFAOSDINFK SQUEAK ASAQUEAKER SSSSSKR HISSS HSIFAD SKAAADFSDFJ TWEET TAASDA SDJF NFASGRORRRRR

JoJolyne: i cant take it

Herpes: josuke went full feral mode

JoJolyne: mans turned into the entire zodiac

ZA HANDO: why is josukue looking up tickets to florida again

food fighters: WHY IS THERE NO ???

Herpes: huh

food fighters: ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Herpes: bb

food fighters: !!! WHY

JoJolyne: foo????????

food fighters: why.... theres so many... oceans on this erth itdoesnt make any cents....

JoJolyne: oh my god ff did you run out of water bottles AGAIN

food fighters: no teres just no water left anywhere i went to the store and they didnt have any

food fighters: im about to drink from the gutter

Herpes: please dont

food fighters: lit rally.... crawling around on tha streets.....................

JoJolyne: FOOOOOOOO

food fighters: mm... wader............

sane diamond: say hi to pennywise for me

food fighers: i am drinking... oh sweet realease.... oh i love water..........

JoJolyne: brb everyone getting in the car to go get their stupid ass

Jotaro: how do they not have water in a store

Jotaro: just fucking go to the drink aisle

food fighters: they had juice but they did not have water it is becuse of corrona

Jotaro: then just get some fucking water you dumbass bitch

food fighters: im going to cry

Jotaro: good. youre so annoying

sane diamond: jotaro why are you so scary

Crackyoin: he's hurting inside </3

sane diamond: omg jotaro im so sorry

Jotaro: no the fuck im not

HP lovecraft: so who's gonna be the new admin

DIO: i will kick anyone who talks about the new admin thing

Jotaro: lmao kick??? so threatening

DIO: i mean like. ban yo

Jotaro: admin admin admin amdmin admin di

DIO removed Jotaro from the server

HP lovecraft: dio brando strikes again

Crackyoin: haha hey watch this

Crackyoin: adm

Herpes: ??????

sane diamond: its ok take ur time

Herpes: kakyoin

Herpes: KAKYONI

Herpes: OH M GOD

Herpes: KAYOING

sane diamond: dio killed him before he could finish typing

PolPol: he killed him before he could finish explaining how hierophant green is gonna figure out his stand

JoHoe: wow polnareff. not cool

PolPol: ok im sorry

Shiza: joseph fucking joestar shut the fuck up you literally make jokes about me getting crushed under a ceiling tile all the time

PolPol: mr joestar???????

JoHoe: yeah well im legally allowed todo that bc ur an asshole

Shiza: thats not what you say when im ramming u into the mattress

PolPol: what!!

JoHoe: goodbye!

JoHoe: logging off

Shiza: no one will miss u

Diosaur: i have a question

Diosaur: how does caesar know he died and if he does when he died how is he still typing then. is he dead or what

Shiza: what

JoHoe: careful with what you ask diego

JoHoe: walkin the fine line between the fabrics of reality

Diosaur: deep..................

Diosaur: also how is diavolo still typing

Diosaur: and kakyoin

PolPol: i think we're in an alternate universe or something

JoHoe: stop right there

PolPol: feel like im being watched rn

Diosaur: (looks into the camera like we are on the office)

JoHoe: STOP BEFORE ITS TOO LATE

JoHoe: PLEASE I CAN FEEL MY BODY COLLAPSING IN ON ITSELF

PolPol: isnt it caled a 4th wall break

JoHoe: CANT FEEL MY TOES

Shiza: jojo

PolPol: archive of our own

JoHoe: POLNAREFF NO

JoHoe: MY LIMBS ARE FADING BEFORE MY EYES

PolPol: who the fuck reads jojo fanfics im calling u tf out

Shiza: who the fuck writes them

JoHoe: you guys fucked up. its over

Diosaur: are we gonna die

JoHoe: yes

pucci gang: Don't worry everyone I got you

JoJolyne: PUCCI NO

pucci gang: Pucci yes

Server: dio's homohouse

--

pucci gang: Good morning

!Irene!: Morning

DIO: What just happened

!Irene!: what are you talking about lol

JoJolyne: what the FUCK

pucci gang: Wait Jolyne? How are you still alive

JoJolyne: HUH????

pucci gang: I fucked up

!Irene!: what is happening

Shiza: someone fix this

Shiza: please

JoHoe: i know just the guy but yall gonna have to trust me on this one kay

Shiza: jojo do not you dare

JoHoe: 1..

JoHoe: 2.............

JoHoe added !DIO OVER HEAVEN

Shiza: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT

JoJolyne: i guess u could say this is getting kinda....

JoJolyne: bizarre

COUNTDOWN BOT: Countdown reset. It has been 0 days without the word.

JoJolyne: when the fuck did we get bots

!Irene!: ??? we've always had them

JoJolyne: i dont like this very much

!DIO OVER HEAVEN: Where am i

JoHoe: IT IS TIME

Shiza: jojo oim going to kill evryone in this server and then myself

Chapter Text

hey this isn't an update i made an actual discord server please join us we're funny

link is https://discord.gg/yRrEVRA and it never expires

anyways dear followers today i offer you shizuka joestar

tomorrow? who knows.....

Chapter Text

Nicknames:

JoJolyne: Jolyne

pucci gang: Pucci

Annakiss: Anasui

Herpes: Hermes

food fighters: Foo Fighters/F.F.

MarineBlue: Weather Report

OVERHEAVEN: Heaven Ascension DIO

DIO: DIO

Jotaro: Jotaro

Cockyoin: Kakyoin

insane diamond: Josuke

Shiza: Caesar

JoHoe: Joseph

Smog: Smokey

!Irene!: Irene

Jonathan: Jonathan

GioGio: Giorno

--

Server: Ĝ̵̡̛̮͓͎̄̏̃̄̑̈́̇̆̉͛̒̐̚ͅA̵̙͗͠͝ͅY̶͓͎͇̺̬̝̲̊͒̉̇ͅ ̶̾̑̍͒͒͒͌̏̿͘̕̚̚͜͠Ḅ̸̢̢̱̜̞̙̹̣̰̣̹̺͙̜̘̂͌̃̏̓̏͛̐͆͋̏̉͋͆̐̉͘A̴̡̛͍̳̻̋̑͋̉̏̄̄͘B̷̨̢̻͔̝̈́͘Y̵̛̥̬̤̬͉̤̼͖̊͗̂͋̓̀̔̾̚͝ ̴̡͍̬̖͇̯͙͍͕͖̤̳̺̼̩̞̯͓͓̋͜J̴̨͕͍̏͂̇͒͊̽͊͘A̸͖͛̒͋̔̃̽̐̃̐̌̓̆͊̆͊̋͋͝I̴̳͎̞͎̠̠̻͆̒̓̓͗̆̊L̵̢͉̩͉̭͙͙̝̥̳͍͖͂́̊

--

JoJolyne: ........

JoJolyne: where am i

pucci gang: Where you belong

JoJolyne: WHAT

JoJolyne: PUCCI

JoJolyne: where did all my other servers go

Annakiss: what the hell?

JoJolyne: ANNASUI

Annakiss: are you still gay

JoJolyne: yes

JoJolyne: wait no im not

Annakiss: Really???

Jotaro: @pucci gang what did you do. asshole

Herpes: holy shiiiit im in here too???? are we the chosen ones

JoJolyne: no i dont think its like that hermes

food fighters: GHASAHFDSKFAS

food fighters: WHY IS THE BATHROOM MISSING

JoJolyne: WHAT

Herpes: WHAT

MarineBlue: ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

food fighters: THERE IS

food fighters: A

JoJolyne: weather report??? is that you

food fighters: GIANT HOLE WHERE THE BATHROOM SHOULD BE

MarineBlue: Jolyne, you had to pee that bad?

JoJolyne: i

JoJolyne: HUH:??????????

Jotaro: @pucci gang stop simping for dio and come here right now

pucci gang has left the server

Annakiss: Jolyne????? youre not gay anymore???

MarineBlue: Jolyne is gay?

Annakiss: not anymore

MarineBlue: What?

Herpes: HAHAAHAH

JoJolyne: ok what the fuck is happening

--

Server: dio's fuckhouse

--

J̷̛̠̻̪̣̥̝̮̤̃͋̂̂͌̇͐̈̄̓̑͑̔̍͑̚̚ͅö̶̡̹͍̹̹̦̮̝͍́̍̏̑̋̈́͑̊̓͗̆̄̽̎͝J̸̡̡̦̫̫̻͇̫̬͔̫̫͖̖͙̮̤͆ͅơ̸̧̧̛̠̦͔̹̻̪̠̹̻͔̭͙͍͇̯̩̅͐̑̓̎̍̉́͒̇͂͊̚͘͝͝ͅl̷̖̞̘̯͉̻̮̖̗̘̫͈͖͍̓͜͜y̵̝̯̩̅͒̈̅͆̋̽ṇ̸̨̮͍̦͎̘̟͔̫͓̺̞̥̩̺͉̘̗͇̜̅̿͛̍̑̐͊̆̏̅̾ē̷͇͉̗̲̻̲͈̱̒͆̆̃, H̷̰̤͆͒͒̕͝͝ͅe̸̡̛̻͚͇̻͍͙̍͑̍̐̂͋̾r̶̠͇̹͍͍̹̰̗̾̎͐p̵̨̡̛̗̣̭̜͎͚̬͈̳̳͈̜̪̩͇͌̀̋̎͋͂̽̋̅̈́ͅȩ̶̢̡̨̨̛̹̠̱͇̥̠̜̩̺͇͙̟̜̪̭̖͐͑̃̔̈́̄̂͋͊͗̉̂͝s̶̨̧̢̗̯͎͔̖̠̠͛͊̔̐̔̓͗͗͗͊͒̕͠ͅ, A̵̡̙̻̠͙̘̣̭̜̝̟̩̦̳̯̍̆͑̃͗̌̾͆̔͌͂̊̈͠n̴̡̜͙̠̪̻̗̘̗̅͛͋̒̈́͛̓̏̌ņ̸̦̩̬̜̭̱̪͓̣̲͓̜̖̼͖̒̊̏̾̅̇̎͌̂͒̓͘͘a̶̛̩͚̮͓̔̉͑̿͊̍̀̒̕̕͝k̸̤̇̈́̒̈́̔̽̆̿̽͆̑̈̚̕̕͠i̵̡̢̢͇͕̪̗͉̻̹͚͇̭͓̥͙̰̿͑̑̈́͐̂͛͜ŝ̶̛̥̱͖͎̤͔͔͆̑̈́͊̽͝ŝ̴̘̈́͂̂̎͊̾̆̂̈̊̏,̴̢̛̛̰̬͔̮͖͚̖̜̩̼̳͙̆̀̎̽̅̀͊̈́̌̎̃͆̓̕͜͠ ̴̡̧̰͓͉̟̳̜͖͉̲̙̭̗̪̟̤̾͋͆̄̌̅J̴̧̞̖̳̳̳̫̺̍̌̄̋̔͊̈́̐̓̓̀̎ͅo̴͇̮͈̳̮͌̆̑̈͛̈́̃͆̌̆͛̉͒̅̿̚͝͝t̵͚͙͘ạ̴̖̲̘͔̞̻͉̞̺̗̥͇̬̤͔̜̼͙͔͕̈́̿̇̅͑̓̂̏̀̅̈́̐́̆̐̕͝͝͝r̷̭̻͇͖̹͍̥̩̖͍̲̹̻̟͔̍͂͑̎̎̾͑̒͘ŏ̷̡̧̧̧̡̦̟̻̣͍͎̜͕̥̠̫̗̹̮̤͍,̶̧̡̡̛̛̪͓͎̯̖͎͈͉͚͔͙̳̳̝̲̤̅̋̃̃̆̑̂̍̌͊̈́̃͂̕ͅ ̵̛̮̀̓̅̋̓̈́̅̐̔͒̒̿̎͘̕Ḿ̴̥̪͇̑̆͛͗̈͆̌͊͒͘͝ä̴̢̱̥̗̝̪͕̺́̔̒͗́͛͝͠r̵̭͈̹͍̤̩̼̯̭̮̍̈́͐̂̅̄͊̔̄̓̈̚i̶̛͓̬̰̦͓͔̠̫͙͈͎̜̗̱̲̖͈͓̘͂̈͂̆͐̎̑̄͌̈́͒͊̄̎̾͂͑̕͝ͅͅn̷̢̡̧̛̛̛͉̯͔͍̫̫̰̿̔̔̉̎͛̒̓͋̅͒̌̊̂̓͑͆͝ȩ̴͔̾͆͊̈́͆̏͛̇B̸̹̘̥̄̐̐͛̂́̎̍͌̂̓͒̓̑̄͑͝ľ̶̗̥̥̰̼͚̞̼̲͇̼͔̓̎u̷̢̡̱̘͚̪͑̿͛̓̀̄̋͜͝ę̴̧̡̥̺̻̮͙͚̹̹͓̞̼̣͙̩̏͆̇̌̄͂,̷̫̘̺̘̟̘̲̝͕̦̜̩̿̊̇̐̉̏̿͝ ̴͕̬̐͐̈́͊̽̅̿̒̆͒̈́̓̄a̷̡͓͔̲͙̥̪̼̾̀̃͛͆͝ņ̴̧̼̙̮̩̭͚̟̕ḓ̸̝͎͙̝̱̜͉͈̹͎̝̱̦̖̝̣̣̆̽̅̌̉̇̄̓͋̃͗̕ ̶̨̛̲̗̦̫̭̀̾̿̽̅͑͐̐̽̓̓̈̆̈́͠p̶̢͇̹̭̼̝͉̗̥̀͂͊̀̈́̔̋̂̓̌͜ͅu̵͚͓̦̻͌͝c̸͔͙̀c̷̨̬͙̬̈́i̴̭͇̱̹͉̭͚̲̲̘̮͕̖̬̘̬͖̟̓͑̐͌͜͠ ̶̛̼̳̘̝͗̆̓͒͌̍͗͌̉̈́̒̾͊͘̕͝͝g̴̪̫̔͊͛͐͑̌̈̈́̅̓̑͆̐̌̏̚ą̴̪̪̺͉͉̰̘͙͉͍͂̀͋̋̆̓̔̀̏͒̎͊̊͘̕͝͝͝n̶̡̨̛̜͈͂͆̓͒͒̈́̎̎̌̃̒̂͝ģ̶̡̱͍͔̤̖͎͎͙̗̻̗̳̥͍͙͇̪̑̊̃͑̊̿͜ ̷̡̝̖̩̦̥̣͉̰̺̫̻̭̮͓̭̦̮̤̑͂̊̃̈́͠͠ͅh̶̨̤̝̼͎̹̪͓͕̲͉̮̺̾̏̀̐̀͐̃̈̀̄̓̏͆̇̒̎̔͝͝͝͝ḁ̴̖̩̝̲͕̗͈͔̺̈́͑̿͛̓̿͒́́̊̍̽̒̌̔̈́̓̆͘͜͝v̴̡͇͚̮̠͙̳̌̋͆͑̌́͗̌͗͠͠ę̵͇̜̬͌̊̐̓ ̷̢̧̢͙̣͇̣͙͓̣̲̤̹̈̆͂̐͒͌̾̅̓̽̇͘͘͘͜l̷̢̠̺͚̬̥̻̓͒̓͜͝ḛ̷̡̩̱̬̪̞̞͖͗f̷̢̤̯̭̩͎͙͚̥͙̻̠͔̌͐͑t̸̛͙͕̫̠̫̖̙̹̫͖̞̟̠́̌̃̓̏̔̈́̌ ̴̧̛͓̦͍͍̼̟͎̙̘̪̗̩̱̮̳̝̐͗̎̅͑͐͂̈́̿͑̅̚͘t̴̨̛̛̪̜͉̘͔̼̘̬̗̙̓͌̍̈͐̎͌̿̈́̎͊̌̕͝ḧ̷̡͓̜̳̻̱͇̊̊͌̑͗͒̅̒̉̀̽͘͝͠ͅẹ̷̡̛̪̺̖̔̀̄͋̎͂̑͒̐̈́̽͊̆͝͝ ̶̧̳͚̈́̊͊s̷̠̞̼̬̰͙͈̿́͜ȩ̶̧̳̗̫͎̙̘͚̱̯̳̱̲͍͙̓͌̆̀̆̿̄͋͌̑͋̋̅͘r̷̢̧̰͙̣̪̟̖̫̟̩̤̎̈́̒̍͊̍̀͐̅̈́̽̄̓̇͘͠͠͝v̴̨̯̼̗̭̠̺̘̞͙̤̬̥̋̑̍̾͆̋̾̒͘͘͜ę̴͖̟̱̪̮̖͇̻̞̝̫̎̃̓̌̈́̃͋͜ͅͅr̸̡̟̠̜̬̣̜̹͖͈̜͇͇̠̻̿̂̌̓̽̓͌̿̄̓̈̽̆̋̓̓̋̚͜

pucci gang invited pucci gang

insane diamond: i feel like i just had deja vu

!Irene!: what just happened up there

Shiza: !rank

MEE6: (SHIZA: RANK #6)

Shiza: im almost there

JoeHoe: !rank

MEE6: (ERROR: PLEASE CONTACT OUR MODS IF THIS PERSISTS)

JoHoe: WHAT

JoHoe: FUCK YOU

Shiza: loser

Cockyoin: wasn't it just april

!Irene!: lmao i feel you. time is so fucked

JoHoe: holy shit it wasss

JoHoe: now it's like may

Cockyoin: no i meant literally

Cockyoin: like i checked my calendar and somehow it went from april 22nd to may 6th

!Irene!: thats called amnesia

Shiza: actually same kakyoin

Shiza: i feel like time sped up

Shiza: i also feel like we're missing something

Cockyoin: i feel like i'm missing a very important person in my life

OVERHEAVEN: That's because the Pucci from your universe ascended Heaven and reset time

Cockyoin: what

JoHoe: oh yeah i forgot i invited this guy

JoHoe: hows it goin bro

JoHoe: wanna see my cat

OVERHEAVEN: Not really. You invited me to fix your problem, did you not?

JoHoe: rigatoni.jpg

JoHoe: this is me n caesars fat cat rigatoni

Cockyoin: OH MY GOD

Cockyoin: THAT IS A FAT CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JoHoe: I KNOW RIGHT??????? HES OUR BABY

Cockyoin: I LOVE HIM?????????????? WHAT THE FUCK???????????????????

Smog: i feel like he shouldnt be that fat

JoHoe: its fine he likes it

Shiza: jojo he has breathing problems and horrible cholesterol he is going to die

JoHoe: its fine everyone dies some day

Shiza: he's only 4

Shiza: stop feeding him cupcakes

JoHoe: but he likes it

Shiza: cats aren't supposed to have cupcakes

JoHoe: ........................

JoHoe: but....... he likes it.......................

!Irene!: oh my god i've seen that cat

!Irene!: on r/chonkers

JoHoe: YEAH!!!!!!

!Irene!: joseph

!Irene!: are you creampieguy69

JoHoe has left the server

Shiza invited JoHoe

Smog: HELLO??????????? JOJO

JoHoe: its not my fault

JoHoe: rigatoni walked across my keyboard when i was picking my username

Smog: ok whatever you say

Shiza: i hate you joseph joestar why am i dating you

JoHoe: becase im sexay

Shiza: fair

Cockyoin: so like is this over heaven guy gonna help us or what

Smog: what do we even need help with i forgot

OVERHEAVEN: I'm just waiting for instructions.

OVERHEAVEN: But I don't work for free. I have a price.

JoHoe: deal

OVERHEAVEN: You don't even know what the price is yet

JoHoe: dont care just do it im rich i can pay you

OVERHEAVEN: Alright then.

Shiza: wait

Shiza: whats happening

JoHoe: i dont remember but i DO remember that it was really important

Smog: bruh

pucci gang: Wait Dio please don't

JoHoe: w

JoHoe: DIO???????????

JoHoe: OK HANG ON WAIT DONT DO AN

--

Server: Ĝ̵̡̛̮͓͎̄̏̃̄̑̈́̇̆̉͛̒̐̚ͅA̵̙͗͠͝ͅY̶͓͎͇̺̬̝̲̊͒̉̇ͅ ̶̾̑̍͒͒͒͌̏̿͘̕̚̚͜͠Ḅ̸̢̢̱̜̞̙̹̣̰̣̹̺͙̜̘̂͌̃̏̓̏͛̐͆͋̏̉͋͆̐̉͘A̴̡̛͍̳̻̋̑͋̉̏̄̄͘B̷̨̢̻͔̝̈́͘Y̵̛̥̬̤̬͉̤̼͖̊͗̂͋̓̀̔̾̚͝ ̴̡͍̬̖͇̯͙͍͕͖̤̳̺̼̩̞̯͓͓̋͜J̴̨͕͍̏͂̇͒͊̽͊͘A̸͖͛̒͋̔̃̽̐̃̐̌̓̆͊̆͊̋͋͝I̴̳͎̞͎̠̠̻͆̒̓̓͗̆̊L̵̢͉̩͉̭͙͙̝̥̳͍͖͂́̊

--

JoJolyne: so

JoJolyne: several rooms in our house are missing

JoJolyne: for one, the bathroom like FF said

JoJolyne: also the ping pong room

food fighters: and the sex dungeon!!!!!!!!!!!!

Annakiss: the what

JoJolyne: dont listen to them theyre lying

Herpes: the kitchen is also gone

JoJolyne: oh yeah that one too

OVERHEAVEN invited OVERHEAVEN

JoJolyne: like i really gotta piss but

JoJolyne: do i just pee in the giant hole

Herpes: its like a sinkhole where does it go

food fighters: down

MarineBlue: wonderland

Annakiss: does it lead to the sex dunegon

Herpes: hang on who just joined

OVERHEAVEN: Joseph sent me

Jotaro: why

OVERHEAVEN: That's not important

OVERHEAVEN: Do you want out of here or not?

OVERHEAVEN: And do you want your sex dungeon back?

JoJolyne: STOP CALLING IT THE SEX DUNGEON

JoJolyne: ITS THE EXERCISE ROOM

food fighters: wait

food fighters: that seat with the buttons isnt for sex???????

Herpes: OMG

Herpes: THATS AN EXERCISE BIKE

Annakiss: i'm very entertained right now

Annakiss: i could stay here for ever

OVERHEAVEN: That's fine. I can leave you and save everyone else, if you'd like

Annakiss: pleaes dont i was kidding

JoJolyne: PLEASE DO

JoJolyne: LEAVE HIM HERE

OVERHEAVEN: Well, anyways. Enough small talk

Jotaro: wait

Jotaro: i have a question

OVERHEAVEN: no

OVERHEAVEN deleted the server

--

Server: dio's fuckhouse

--

OVERHEAVEN invited Jotaro, Annakiss, MarineBlue, Herpes, food fighters, and JoJolyne

OVERHEAVEN removed !Irene!

OVERHEAVEN: There. Now everything should be back to 'normal'

Cockyoin: DUUUUUUDE

Cockyoin: I REMEMBER NOW

Cockyoin: pucci did some weiird shit

Cockyoin: and jotaro got erased from existence or whatever

JoJolyne: yeah jotaro and like 5 other people

Cockyoin: i dont care about the rest

JoJolyne: i see how it is

JoHoe: hell yeah!

Shiza: wtf

JoHoe: see caesar i told you i had everything under control

Shiza: alright. maybe you were right for once

OVERHEAVEN: Alright, now I require my compensation

JoHoe: wait

JoHoe: wanna see a magic trick

Shiza: jojo

OVERHEAVEN: Make it fast. I have other matters to attend to

JoHoe: ok hang on

JoHoe: ...

JoHoe: why cant i kick you out

Shiza: JOJO

OVERHEAVEN: Hmph. I expected as much from a Joestar

JoHoe: ok fine what do you want

OVERHEAVEN: It's nothing much

OVERHEAVEN: I want your firstborn

JoHoe: WHATT

JoHoe: NOOOOO RIGATONIIIII

OVERHEAVEN: Pardon?

Shiza: we don't have any actual children

Shiza: we're gay

OVERHEAVEN: I see

Cockyoin: what about miss holly

Jotaro: kakyoin we are not sacrificing my mom

Jonathan: Aww I knew it! You do care! This one's going in the photo album :>

Jotaro: what

pucci gang: I volunteer

OVERHEAVEN: Then pick one person from this server to sacrifice.

OVERHEAVEN: what

OVERHEAVEN: That was fast

DIO: what the hell is going on

OVERHEAVEN: You

DIO: Me

DIO: What

OVERHEAVEN: Me

DIO: You

OVERHEAVEN: You

DIO: Me?

OVERHEAVEN: Me

DIO: You?

OVERHEAVEN: You

DIO: Imbecile stop making things confusing on purpose

OVERHEAVEN: Me

DIO: You?

OVERHEAVEN: I am you

OVERHEAVEN: You are me

DIO: huh

OVERHEAVEN: die lesser one

DIO: HUH

OVERHEAVEN removed DIO from the server

OVERHEAVEN: this towns not big enough for the two of us

GioGio: Good evening

GioGio: Wait. What just happened

Chapter Text

Nickname Clarifications

LorDIO/DIO: DIO

Jojonium/Jonathan: Jonathan

Pendlestar: Erina

Johoe: Joseph

Oceanman/Jotaro: Jotaro

kuraizidiamondo/schizophrenic rock: Josuke

LLisaLL: Lisa Lisa

REOwagon: Speedwagon

Zepperoni: Baron Zeppeli

Seiko: Holly

Suzi Kyu: Suzie Q

buongiogio/Giogio: Giorno

PrisonerFE40536/Juulyne: Jolyne

Poochie: Pucci

ice ice baby: Vanilla Ice

Entire horse: Hol Horse

Enyayayayayaaa: Enyaba

T D'arby: Terence D'arby

Bongo and Ongo: Boingo and Oingo

Lesbian Magnet: Mariah

Sexypistol: Mista

Norange: Narancia

guccibucci: Buccellati

mushr00m: Fugo

spicylady: Trish

Abbitchio: Abbacchio

DMs (LorDIO#1111 and Jojonium#4511)

--

LorDIO: Jonathan

LorDIO: Come here I need to talk to you

Jojonium: Yes Dio?

LorDIO: Ok so

LorDIO: This isn't because I like you

LorDIO: But do you want to make a server with me

Jojonium: Um

Jojonium: Last time you were a mod, things didn't go so well. What makes you think I'll trust you this time?

LorDIO: Bruh

LorDIO: I'm only asking because that 'Over Heaven' guy kicked me out of my own server somehow

LorDIO: I need to compete with him

Jojonium: Then make your own server. Why should I help you?

LorDIO: Because I'm asking politely

Jojonium: You killed my dog

LorDIO: I have no idea what you're talking about

LorDIO: Also half of these people like you and the other half like me so if we're both admins then everyone will join

Jojonium: Sigh

Jojonium: Alright, I'll help you

LorDIO: Thank you Jojo

Jojonium: On one condition

LorDIO: You know you really are a

LorDIO: What.

Jojonium: Apologize to Erina

LorDIO: For what

LorDIO: Oh my god

LorDIO: Don't tell me you're still mad about that

Jojonium: :/

LorDIO: Don't do the slant face oh my god

Jojonium: \:

LorDIO: Fine give me like a week

--

DMs (LorDIO#1111 and Pendlestar#1889)

--

LorDIO: Erina

Pendlestar: Do i know you

LorDIO: Yes

Pendlestar: Who are you then

Pendlestar: Wait a damn minute

LorDIO: i'm s

Pendlestar: You're Jojo's former adopted brother aren't you

LorDIO: s

Pendlestar: I still haven't forgotten, you know

LorDIO: sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Pendlestar: What are you on about? Spit it out

LorDIO: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Pendlestar: I'm going to block you

LorDIO: i'm sorry for stealing your first kiss from jojo 100 years ago

Pendlestar: :/

LorDIO: Is this a thing between you and Jojo

LorDIO: Doing that stupid fucking ':/'

Pendlestar: ://///////////////////////////////////////////////////////

LorDIO: You know what

LorDIO: im not sorry anymore

LorDIO: bye

--

Server: Dio and Jonathan's Get Along Shirt

--

LorDIO: Ok you invite your friends and I'll invite mine

Jojonium: Alright.

Jojonium invited Johoe, Pendlestar, Oceanman, kurazidiamondo, LLisaLL, REOwagon, Zepperoni, Seiko, Suzi Kyu , buongio gio and PrisonerFE 40536

LorDIO invited Poochie , iceicebaby, Entire horse, Enyayayayaaaa, T D'arby, B ongo, O ngo, and Lesbian Magnet

Jojonium: Ok cool

Jojonium: Going to change my nickname real quick

Jojonium changed their name to Jonathan

Oceanman: this again

Oceanman changed their name to Jotaro

LorDIO changed their name to DIO

kurazidiamondo: you guys are so uncreative with your nicknames

kuraizidiamondo changed their name to schizophrenic rock

PrisonerFE40536: BRUH

PrisonerFE40536: SCHIZOPHRENIC ROCK

schizophrenic rock: sorry who are you again

PrisonerFE40536: its jolyne

PrisonerFE40536 changed their name to Juulyne

schizophrenic rock: i should have known

schizophrenic rock: only you would put your prison name as your discord tag

buongiogio changed their name to Giogio

Giogio: How many servers am I gonna be invited to

DIO: This is the last one I promise

Giogio: :/

DIO: Ok new rule

DIO: The next person to do ':/' dies instantly

Juulyne: :/

schizophrenic rock: :/

Giogio: :/

Jotaro: :/

Jotaro: :/

Jotaro: :/

Jotaro: :/

Jotaro: :/

iceicebaby: :/

Jotaro: :/

Jotaro: :/

Jotaro: :/

schizophrenic rock: Jotaro are you ok

Jotaro: no

DIO: Vanilla ice what the fuck

iceicebaby: It would be an honor to be killed by you my lord

DIO: I

Juulyne: damn thats kinda.......

schizophrenic rock: kinky

Juulyne: HNGJNGHNGHNGHGNGHGNHGNGH

Giogio invited Sexypistol, Norange, guccibucci, mushr00m, spicylady, and Abbitchio

Norange: HELLO

Giogio: Welcome back gangstars

Abbitchio: Giorno Giovanna

Giogio: Leone Abbacchio

Norange: Narancia Ghirga

Giogio: Giorno Giovanna

Norange: Leone Abbacchio

Giogio: Leone Abbacchio

Norange: Leone Abbacchio

Giogio: Leone Abbacchio

Norange: Leone Abbacchio

Giogio: Leone Abbacchio

Abbitchio: CAN YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP

guccibucci: Leone Abbacchio

Abbitchio: I'm listening

spicylady: HAHAHHFASDAJF THATS CUTE

Abbitchio: Get back in the turtle Trish

spicylady changed their name to Trish CEO of the turtle

Norange: OMG ARE WE DOING THE CEO THING!!!!

Norange: WE DID THAT IN THE TRANNY SERVER

Norange: I'M CEO OF STRAIGHT PEOPLE

mushr00m: huh?

Sexypistol: WEED

Norange changed their name to Narancia CEO of Straight People

Giogio: Sounds fun, I'm in

Giogio changed their name to Giorno CEO of Passione

Giorno CEO of Passione: :)

Abbitchio: Very funny Giorno

Giorno CEO of Passione: Thank you Abbacchio

Abbitchio changed their name to Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno

Trish CEO of the turtle: HAHAHAJHJDKSHDJ

Sexypistol: ECSTASY

Narancia CEO of Straight People: NO IT WOULD BE ABBACCHIO CEO OF PEEING IN GIORNOS TEA

Trish CEO of the turtle: OMG DID THAT ACTUALLY HAPPEN

Giorno CEO of Passione: Yeah

Narancia CEO of Straight People: ABBACCHIO CEO OF FUCK GIORNO CLUB

Trish CEO of the turtle: (mista voice) so i may have misunderstood the club name....

Sexypistol: LSD

Narancia CEO of Straight People: MISTA

Trish CEO of the turtle: MISTA

Giorno CEO of Passione: Quick question @Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno why do you hate me

Sexypistol: COCAINE

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno: I'm not legally obligated to answer that

Giorno CEO of Passione: As the mafia boss I am requiring you to answer it

Abbacchoi CEO of Beating Up Giorno: I'd rather die than take orders from you

Giorno CEO of Passione: That can be arranged

Juulyne: Ok so like I wanna talk but I'm scared and I don't understand what's going on anymore

schizophrenic rock: does anyone ever know whats happening in this place

Juulyne: you have a point

schizophrenic rock: love him or hate him josuke spitting straight fax

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno: Did this guy just talk about himself in third person

Giorno CEO of Passione: Jolyne!!

Juulyne: g giorno

schizophrenic rock: JOSUKE

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno: Stop.

schizophrenic rock: no abba u were supposed to say 'abbacchio'

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno: 'Abba'? What the fuck?

schizophrenic rock: u heard me

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno: Only Bruno can call me that.

schizophrenic rock: idk who bruno is but i'm him now

Juulyne: bruno mars????

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno: Bruno Buccellati. He's my capo.

guccibucci: And your husband :)

schizophrenic rock: EW GAY PEOPLE

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno changed their name to Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno and Giorno's Homophobic Cousin

schizophrenic rock: NO I WAS KIDDING I'M GAY

Juulyne: ewwww josuke you're gay?

schizophrenic rock: SHUT THE FUCK UP JOLYNE YOU HAVE LIKE 5 GIRLFRIENDS

Juulyne: OMG ITS CALLED BEING POLY

Juulyne: AND I HAVE TWO NOT FUCKING FIVE

schizophrenic rock: also @Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno and Giorno's Homophobic Cousin giorno isn't my cousin

Juulyne: jfc his nicknames so long

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno and Giorno's Homophobic Cousin: Then what the fuck is he? I know you're related.

schizophrenic rock: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Juulyne: isn't he your uncle

schizophrenic rock: NO

schizophrenic rock: i dont think so??? anyways i will not let this blond fucking twink be my uncle. no way.

Juulyne: bro you're ALREADY jotaro's uncle it's someone else's turn now

schizophrenic rock: ok so if he's the son of dio and jonathan

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno and Giorno's Homophobic Cousin: You're telling me that wannabe ' Victorian gentleman' and that terrifying god of a man had a child together? They don't seem like they get along at all.

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno and Giorno's Homophobic Cousin: No less in a romantic relationship. Or sexual for that matter. How is two men having a biological child even possible?

Juulyne: ....

schizophrenic rock: I SPAT OUT MY SODA

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno and Giorno's Homophobic Cousin: Thanks for the play by play. Now spill.

schizophrenic rock: why would i spill my soda

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno and Giorno's Homophobic Cousin: You fucking bastard brat bitch boy.

schizophrenic rock: technically speaking yes i am a bastard

Juulyne: are you also a brat bitch boy

schizoprhenic rock: potentially

DIO: As far as I know, Jonathan and I never had a child together.

schizophrenic rock: as far as you know?????????????

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno and Giorno's Homophobic Cousin: Ah, speak of the devil. I've never actually had a chance to talk to you, but I've heard a few things. You're the father of that annoying brat, right?

DIO: I didn't even know I had a son until recently but I suppose so.

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno and Giorno's Homophobic Cousin: So how the fuck are you AND Jonathan his dads

Jonathan: It's a long story, but he stole my body and got a woman pregnant about a century later.

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno and Giorno's Homophobic Cousin: Alright, I HAVE to hear this one.

schizophrenic rock: watch jojo

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno and Giorno's Homophobic Cousin: Excuse me?

schizophrenic rock: watch jojos bizarre adventure part 1 phantom blood

Abbacchio CEO of Beating Up Giorno and Giorno's Homophobic Cousin: Is this a fucking joke?

Juulyne: ok so i'm actually curious now. what is josuke to giorno?

Giorno CEO of passione: I believe he would be my great nephew

schizophrenic rock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooawwwwww giorno called me great :}

Giorno CEO of Passione: Jolyne, you should join the CEO bandwagon

Juulyne: omg ok

REOwagon: i heard wagon

Juulyne changed their name to Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison

Giorno CEO of Passione: Ah

Trish CEO of the turtle: WHAT

Narancia CEO of Straight People: I NEED TO KNOW THE STORY BEHIND THIS NOW NOW NOW PLEASE HELLO YOU'RE NOTHING

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison invited Costello, Anasimp, MarineBlue, Emperorio, and foofighters

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: im busy so ill have gf #1 explain @Costello

foofighters: i thought.........i was gf #1................

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: no foo we've been over this

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: Hermes is gf #1, i'm gf #2, and you're gf #3

Anasimp: can i be gf #4

Trish CEO of the turtle: omg can i be gf #5

schizophrenic rock: can i be gf #2

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: sorry we're not taking girlfriend applications right now

Narancia CEO of Straight People: omg can i be boyfriend

Trish CEO of the turtle: narancia you're MY boyfriend

Narancia CEO of Straight People: omg ...... really...........?

Trish CEO of the turtle: yes :)

Narancia CEO of Straight People: aw..................................................

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: also josuke what the fuck you're like my great uncle or something thats so nasty im not dating you

schizophrenic rock: everyones complimenting me today :}

schizophrenic rock: also duh thats why i said gf #2 cause YOURE gf #2 im taking your spot

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: WHAT you cant do that ill kill u

schizophrenic rock: i doubt you could. remember when i beat you into the pavement behind a waffle house?

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: yeah so what

schizophrenic rock: just making sure.

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: come to florida i'll win this time

schizophrenic rock: nah, i'm good. me okuyasu n koichi are having a sleepover

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: HAAAAAAA lmaoooooooo looooooseerrrrrr coooowwwwarddddd

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: i know whatll make you fight me

schizophrenic rock: Say it. I fucking dare you.

Jotaro: Jolyne

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: im going all out this time. i will not hold back

Jotaro: Jolyne

Giorno CEO of Passione: ...She's been typing for a while

Jotaro: Jolyne. Do NOT hit send

schizophrenic rock: Jolyne. Hit Send. Don't be a pussy. I wanna hear what you have to say you mickey mouse ass bitch

Anasimp: miky mos.......................

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: josuke. your hair is SO fucking dumb it looks like one of those shithead delinquents from cursed "game" yandere simulator the top looks like i could grill something on it it looks like someone stepped on polnareff's hair and dyed it purple. do you fucking know how stupid it makes you look? i'm starting to think you'd look better bald. so when you get to florida i'm gonna use stone free to undo it and take a pic of what you look like with it down and hack barack obama's twitter account and post it there. and then im going to shave ALL your hair off. ALL of it. xoxo, jolyne cujoh

Trish CEO of the turtle: oh my GOD

Giorno CEO of Passione: I pretend I do not see it but in reality I do

Jotaro: Hang on.

Jotaro added cherryboy, Faguette, and Red Magician

Jotaro: This is too good not to share

cherryboy: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Faguette: mon dieu

Faguette: also avdol's busy rn so

Faguette changed their name to Polnareff

cherryboy: aw man i liked faguette

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: why do i hear boss music

Chapter Text

SERVER: Jonathan and Dio's Get Along Shirt

--

Sexypistol: CRYSTAL METH

Giorno CEO of Passione: Mista what's going on

mushr00m: He's doing drugs.

Giorno CEO of Passione: What.

mushr00m: He's saying the name of each one as he tries them

mushr00m: Diavolo is his dealer now

Sexypistol: HEROIN

Giorno CEO of Passione: Ok guys I'm going to be very busy for a long time, see you all later

Narancia CEO of Straight People: arrivederci girno

mushr00m: girno

Narancia CEO of Straight People: who are you

mushr00m: fg

Narancia CEO of Straight People: what

mushr00m changed their name to Fugo CEO of shrooms

Narancia CEO of Straight People: I'm gonna guess Diavolo is your drug dealer too then huh

Fugo CEO of shrooms: fago ceo of magic mashroom

Trish CEO of turtle: FAGO?????????????????????

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: faggo

Narancia CEO of Straight People: FAGGOOOOO

Narancia CEO of Straight People: WHO'S THE ADMIN OF THIS SERVER

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: hang on i got this

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: @DIO can you change Fugo's name to Faggo please please please hello you're nothing

Jotaro: Jolyne I've only known you as my daughter for 2 months but i'm already disowning you

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: good

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: @DIO also can you ban jotaro thanks xoxo

DIO: Don't care didn't ask plus you're a Joestar

Trish CEO of turtle: HAHAHHAHAHHAAAAAAAA

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: damn that kinda hurted

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: fine i'll just ask jonathan :/

DIO: omw to florida

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: @Jonathan

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: WAIT WHY

DIO: ;)

Trish CEO of turtle: damn girl any last words

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: yeah spiral staircase rhinoceros beetle singularity point giotto angel uhhhhh (looks at smudged handwriting on my arm) fuck tard

Costello: careful there jolyne wouldn't wanna accidentally activate made in heaven haha

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: haha (starts levitating off the ground)

Costello: @everyone who wants to hear the story of jolyne getting caught by a guard jacking off in prison

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: who wants to hear the story of me breaking my girlfriend's spine

Costello: wdym jojo that never happened

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: :)

Costello: WAIT

DIO: @Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison So, curious thing happening here. I'm on the plane to Florida and wouldn't you know, Josuke is sitting next to me! Isn't that just a funny little coincidence?

cherryboy: OH MY GOOOOOOOOD HE WAS SERIOUS THIS TIME I CANT BELIEVE IT

DIO: image_0023134.png (image description: A selfie of Dio and Josuke on a plane. Dio is pointing to Josuke and grinning, while Josuke is doing a peace sign and smiling.)

DIO: josuke says hi

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: i have 2 op motherfuckers coming for my ass. shit.

Costello: well probably only one of them will actually try to kill you

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: you know at this point i really don't know who you're talking about

schizophrenic rock: oh jolyne

schizophrenic rock: i am not just going to kill you

schizophrenic rock: i am going to requiem you into oblivion

Trish CEO of the turtle: good luck getting the arrow to choose you

schizophrenic rock: thanks. i won't need it

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: watch as it chooses me

Costello: josuke vs jolyne part 2: requiem version. who will win

DIO: What's requiem

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: hey josuke, we still meeting behind that waffle house?

schizophrenic rock: no we're meeting inside it dumbass

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: oh

Costello: that sounds like a bad idea

schizophrenic rock: i only have good ideas

Costello: uh huh.

DIO: Josuke and i have decided to team up for this one

schizophrenic rock: operation requiem jolyne to death is a go

Poochie: Can I come

Poochie: I'm already in Florida

DIO: yes <3

Poochie: Excellent

Poochie: @everyone While we're at it, does anyone else have an unresolved grudge against Jolyne Cujoh they'd like to act on?

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: BRUUUHHHHH WHY ARE YOU GUYS DOING THIS TO ME

schizophrenic rock: you know fucking why

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: YALL ARE SO PRETTY

DIO: Aw :)

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: *PETTY

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: SHUT UP YOU SLUT

DIO: Aw :(

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: SOMEONE HELP ME

Costello: I'll fight for you babe

foofighters: OMG E TOO

Trish CEO of the turtle: sending you moral support from italy

Jotaro: I'm on my way. I'll help you out. And I'll see if the others are willing to join me

cherryboy: i could use another adventure :)

Polnareff: YEAHHHH JUST LIKE OLD TIMES

Costello: FUCK YEAH JOLYNE PROTECTION SQUAD

Anasimp: ok now this is epic

Jonathan: I feel like I should be the mediator here, but I have some unresolved business with Dio, so I'll chip in :)

DIO: fuck you jonathan

DIO: i need more people

DIO: i'm gathering my stand users

schizophrenic rock: it started as a kiss how did it come to this

DIO: what

schizophrenic rock: i mean it started with jolyne insulting my hair and now it's escalated to a fucking battle royale

schizophrenic: but i can get okuyasu and koichi and maybe rohan on my side

Rohan: Just for that I'm helping Jolyne.

schizophrenic rock: i

schizophrenic rock: when did you even get here

Rohan: :/

DIO: if he uses the :/ face i dont want him anyways

schizophrenic rock: its fine his stand is literally useless

Rohan: Fuck you Josuke

schizophrenic rock: feelings mutual pal

schizophrenic rock: also dio i do :/ i dont think we can be friends anymore :/

DIO: I was planning on betraying you anyways

schizophrenic rock: WOW

DIO: I'm on my side now

DIO: I will kill both you and jolyne and anyone else that gets in my way

schizophrenic rock: ok challenge accepted

Jolyne CEO of Jacking Off in Prison: what have i done

Trish CEO of the turtle: also guys isn't coronavirus like still a thing shouldn't yall not do this

Giorno CEO of Passione: Me and the gang will help you out too Jolyne :)

Trish CEO of the turtle: GIORNO NOT YOU TOO

Emperorio: Every day when I regret leaving the first server no i dont

Chapter Text

nicknames-

wacky mineral: Josuke p4 DiU

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: Jolyne

hole horse: Hol Horse

DIO: hmm i wonder

Sexypistol: Mista

Abba: Abbacchio

GioGio: Giorno

Naranch: Narancia

ZA HANDO: Okuyasu

Gappy: Josuke p8 Jojolion

FF: Foo Fighters

Weather Report: might be weather report, idk

listen if their name is obvious then i dont need to clarify IM SO DONE WITH THIS SHIT IM TIRED

GIVE KUDOS IF YOU LIKE JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE OR IF YOU ARE SO, SO TIRED AND JUST ACN'T TAKE IT ANYMO

SERVER: Jonathan and Dio's Get Along Shirt

--

wacky mineral: shawtys like a melody in my head

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: shut up

hole horse: that i cant keep out

wacky mineral: got me singin like

DIO: JONATHANS MILKY BARA TITS LOL

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: WHAT

wacky mineral: WHAT

Jonathan: What?

hole horse: na na na na every day like my ipods stuck on replay

Sexypistol: JONATHANS MILKY BARA TITS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hole horse: replay

hole horse: replay

hole horse: replay

hole horse: replay

hole horse: replay

Jonathan: Am I missing something here?

hole horse: replay

hole horse: replay

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: i think we're all missing something here

hole horse: replay

hole horse: replay

hole horse: replay

Sexypistol: jonathans milky bara balls

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: STOP

hole horse: replay

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: SHUT THE FUCK

hole horse: replay

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: FUCK YOUR SHUT SHIT

hole horse: replay

hole horse: replay

Sexypistol: moody blues b like

Abba: Lmao

hole horse: replay

Sexypistol: oh my god guys abbachio is capable of laughter

Naranch: woah

Abba: whats the opposite of lmao

wacky mineral: smh my head

hole horse: replay

Naranch: penis

Sexypistol: jonathans milky bara balls

Abba has left the server

Sexypistol: ABBACHIO IS GONE CRAB EMOJI

Gappy has joined the server

Gappy: hi guys

Jonathan: @DIO Can I please get an explanation for

DIO: no

Jonathan: 'Jonathan's milky bara tits'

Jonathan: ok

Gappy: hi guys my name is josuke higashikata

wacky mineral: okuyasu i know that's you

Gappy: no it's not its josuke higashikata

wacky mineral: okuyasu

Gappy: josuke higashikata

wacky mineral: okuyasu

ZA HANDO: okuyasu

Gappy: josuke highasghiksata

wacky mineral: wait

wacky mineral: ROHAN??

Gappy: josuke h

wacky mineral: WHO THE FUCK. THIS ISNT FUNNY

Gappy: igashikata

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: i think it's hilarious

wacky mineral: youre just mad cause i beat your ass at waffle house (again)

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: idk what your talking about

wacky mineral: do you need me to refresh your memory maybe cause i can do it again

Gappy: *you're

wacky mineral: SILENCE

Gappy: josuke higashikata

wacky mineral: FFS

wacky mineral: WHO ARE YOU

Gappy: i dont................ know.................................

Yasuho: i found him naked on some rocks and he has 4 testicles so i named him josuke he is my boyfrind :)

Gappy: yuh

wacky mineral: lame, i have 2 testicles

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: i have 0

Jotaro: i have clinical depression and ptsd

Gappy: oh :( do you want to talk about it?

Jotaro: no

Weather Report: What's all this talk about Jonathan's milky bara tits

DIO: wouldn't you like to know weather boy

Weather Report: Yes, if you could tell me that would be great

DIO: i hate you so, so much

Weather Report: who are you i am from ancient greece

FF: she sticks a parrot up her coochie ya think?

FF: wrong chat sorry guys

wacky mineral: WAIT????? CONTEXT

Sexypistol: who wants to hear the story of jonathans milky bara ti

Sexypistol: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH OOOOWGHHHHHHHHHHHHH UHGGAJJJJHHHHHHHH GGGHHHHHHHHHH GHNMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMCCCCCCCHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Naranch: MISTA

DIO: traitor

Naranch: OMG WHAT DID U DO

DIO: Jonathan's milky bara tits is an inside joke between me and my son and Mista was never meant to be involved

DIO: This is the way things should be.

GioGio: dad please stop being mean to my boyfriend

DIO: You're grounded

GioGio: you can't do that i'm a mafia boss

DIO: go to your room

GioGio: you're hundreds of miles away from me

DIO: and

GioGio: fuck you

wacky mineral: oooh someones got daddy issueees

GioGio: this isn't funny josuke i'm gonna have a fucking breakdown

wacky mineral: breakdown breakdown

DIO: weak

GioGio: i hate all of you

GioGio has left the server

DIO: It's pathetic to think I raised a son like that

wacky mineral: but u didnt even raise him tho

DIO muted wacky mineral for 24 hours

reason: fuck you josuke higashikata you insufferable worm, you miserable roach, you annoying brat fucking parasite, pathetic foolish joestar, how dare you disrespect me, don't ever speak to me or my son again, i hope you rot in the 9th circle of hell, your hair is a crime against fashion and laughably outdated, you're an annoying kid and i will kill you if i ever see you

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: uh oh did someone's ego get huwt :( uwu

DIO: you're next

FF: illegal use of uwu without a proper uwu permit

Naranch: can we get a jonathan in da chat please

DIO: call the cops bitch i'll have sex with them

Jotaro: of course you would. whore

DIO muted Jotaro for 24 hours

reason: dumb hat

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: im gonna do it

Naranch: jolyne no

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: it has to be done

Naranch: JOLYNE

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: tell my girlfriends i love them

FF: JOOOOOOOOJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Naranch: DONT PING HIM JOLYNE YOU KNOW WHAT DIO WIL DO

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: sometimes sacrifices. must be made.

FF: i;ll .. never forget u.............

hole horse: i will llol

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: goodbye, everyone

FF: JOOOOOOOOLYYYYYYNE

Naranch: jolyne, jolyne, jolyne, jolyyyyyyyne

Gappy: @Jonathan

FF: oh my god

Gappy: :)

Naranch: holy shit........

DIO kicked Gappy from the server

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: we underestimated him, but in the end, he saved us all

Jonathan: What's going on?

FF: dios abusing his power again

Jonathan: Dio

DIO: Jojo

Jonathan: I should have known better than to trust you.

Naranch: yeah you really shouldve

Jonathan: This time, I'll demote you, and I won't have any regrets.

DIO: So be it, Jonathan. But know this, I will not go down without a fight. And I will emerge victorious.

Jonathan: I am sorry that it had to end like this, Dio.

DIO: Hmph! Enough small talk, come at me, Jojo!

Naranch: cringe

Jonathan: *stabs u nn*

DIO: *fucking beats the shit out of you*

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: get him

FF: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Jonathan: oh yeah but can you do this

Jonathan: sunlight yellow overdrive

Jonathan: hello

Jonathan: dio are

Jonathan: are you dead

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: wow that was kind of underwhelming, so anyways does anyone wanna see my new dog

Jonathan: I love dogs!

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: img39493.png

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: his name is danny requiem

Jonathan: Awww :)

DIO: sorry i was taking a fat fucking shit what i miss

Jonathan: I killed you but look at Jolyne's cute dog :)

DIO: what

DIO: that's not fair

Jonathan: I'm sorry Dio ily

DIO: fuck off

Jolyne CEO of lesbians: man

Emporio: this server brings only pain

Chapter Text

nickanmes for ppl who it might not be clear for

wacky mineral: Josuke

Kokichi: Koichi

Diosaur: Diego

joekid: Johnny

go go zeppeli: Gyro

HP: Hot Pants

herpes costello: Hermes

Rice Dish: Risotto

walter: walter

Server: Jonathan and Dio's Get Along Shirt

wacky mineral: hey guys i have something really important to say

ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫: If it's from you, it's not important.

wacky mineral: my moms taking all my stuff away im grounded

wacky mineral: change da world

wacky mineral: my final message

wacky mineral: goodb

ℜ𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫: Thank god

Kokichi: Aww :( bye Josukeeeee

wacky mineral: Hello everyone. This is Josuke's mother. Josuke is grounded for a week because I caught him looking up 'boobs' on his computer last night. Have a nice morning, all.

Kokichi: I was not expecting that

JOLYNE: HAJHDKASJNDM??????????@#*@#*@&#O@)(W|}{|}>>?<~}+*/*

JOLYNE: ACTAGCTAGCATCGATCGGCGGATCGATCATATATACGATCGATCG

herpes costello: this bitch sequencing dna in the chat

JOLYNE: HAHAHSJDFAF STOP

JOLYNE: WHY WAS JOSUKE LOOKING UP BOOBS ON THE COMPUTER WTF THATS SOMETHING I'D DO IF I WAS 16 I THOUGHT HE WAS GAY

ZA HANDO: he si gay jst..

ZA HANDO: well i dared him to look up boobs

JOLYNE: you just killed him

ZA HANDO: moooooooo im aossry i ditn;t mea.t to..;;

JOLYNE: you killed your own boyfriend

ZA HANDO: stpo yr makig my cry :(

Funny Valentine: So this is what goes on in Diego's phone.

Diosaur: I told you not to look

JOLYNE: hello

Naranc: omg its that one not dio guy

Naranc: hes back babey!!!

Diosaur: Yes it is I, Dio

DIO: no it's not

Diosaur: silence

Funny Valentine: You seem to be popular, Diego

Diosaur: yeah im .... really cool

joekid: no ur not

Diosaur: shut up johnny your dad hates you

joekid: at least mine is alive

Diosaur: you dont know that mine is dead

joekid: yes i do

joekid: you poisoned him

DIO: No that was me

joekid: ah

joekid: theres too many dios

JOLYNE: theres too many jojos wtf

joekid: well i guess we just have to start sacrificing some. ill start

go go zeppeli: johnny no

joekid: johnny yes

Diosaur: damn bro u ok?

joekid: no

Diosaur: good

joekid: fuck u

Funny Valentine: How do I adjust the volume on my 'smart phone'

JOLYNE: omg ur an even bigger boomer than dio

DIO: excuse me?

JOLYNE: you're excused

Funny Valentine: I don't understand

Funny Valentine: Scarlet sent me a video of a weird dog named 'Walter' with very loud audio and it won't stop playing

joekid: walter

JOLYNE: walter

Diosaur: walter

go go zeppeli: walter

ZA HANDO: walter

Naranc: walter

Funny Valentine: help

walter: walter

walter: walter

walter: walter

DIO: What the hell

walter: walter

walter: walter: walter

Funnier Valentine: I have figured out the solution

Funny Valentine: What is it

walter: walter

Funnier Valentine: Press the two buttons on the side of your phone. They adjust the volume

Funny Valentine: Oh, thank you

Funniest Valentine: That worked for me as well

Unfunny Valentine: I still don't get it

Funny Valentine: Hey wait a minute

walter: ok i'm tired of walter can we do something else

walter: sure

walter: like what dou

walter: idk

walter: im bored

walter: me too

walter: you guys wanna sing

walter: sure

walter: wait who said that

walter: me

walter: can we at least change our pfps back

walter: no

walter: please

walter: no fuck you

joekid: alright thats it

joekid: i am no longer walter

walter: how DARE you

walter: GET HIM

walter: RELEASE THE HOUNDS

joekid: gyro help me

walter: there is no gyro

walter: ONLY WALTER

joekid: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HP: What the hell is going on

joekid: HOTPANTS SAVE ME

HP: what

walter: walter

walter: walter

HP: Diego I know you're in there

walter: whos diego lol

walter: i only know walter

HP: Diego I will leave this chat

walter: do it pussy

HP left the chat

walter: wait come back

Diosaur: bb its me

Diosaur: please

Diosaur: please come back

Diosaur: ill stop being british

Diosaur: please

walter: EWWWW UR UNIRONICALLY BR*ITISH???

walter: bri'ish lol

walter: LMAO

Diosaur: this isnt funny anymore

Diosaur: everyone stop being walter

walter: walter

Diosaur: im gonna unleash my inner dinosaur

walter: cringe

joekid: no he's fucking serious

joekid: watch out

walter: how many other walters are there

walter: if you're walter say walter

walter: walter

walter: walter

walter:

walter: walter

walter: well that wasnt very helpful

walter: do u guys still wanna sing lol

walter: sure what are we singing

walter: can we sing shawty

walter: no

walter: shawtys like a melody

walter: shut the FUCK up

walter: we should sing weezer

joekid: can yall shut up

joekid: or at least be normal please

walter: we dont talk to traitors

walter: haha thats funny, coming from you

walter: how do you know who i am

walter: narancia???

walter: fugo???

joekid: cool are you gonna kiss or something

walter: NO WTF..

joekid: then whats the point

walter: damn this kid spittin fax

walter: i wish i had someone to kiss

walter: narancia you have a girlfriend

walter: this is risotto

walter: WHEN DID RISOTTO GET HERE

walter: i've always been here :/

walter: WTF

walter: OK CHANGE

Naranc: RISSOTO

Fugone: What if he's been disguised as someone else this whole time

JOLYNE: aint risotto that rice dish

Rice Dish: yes

JOLYNE: OHSJKDSDFJDSNFMDF

herpes costello: yooooo

Fugone: I don't remember Risotto ever being in this chat

Naranc: me neither wtffffff

Rice Dish: I just never talked

Naranc: why

Rice Dish: Didn't feel like it

Naranc: ur scarin me

Rice Dish: OK

DIO: i am in love

Naranc: omg me too

Naranc: im in love with my gf :)

DIO: i am in love with my brother

Naranc: HUH

Fugone: gonna put some use to my username

Fugone has left the chat

Rice Dish: Can I have context

Naranc: WHAT CONTEXT DO U NEED

Naranc: SWEET HOME ALABAMA FUCKER

JOLYNE: just gonna

JOLYNE: @Jonathan

Jonathan: I already know

JOLYNE: NAD UR JUST GONNA????????????????????????????

Jonathan: I don't know how to feel, honestly

JOLYNE: cancelled

Jonathan: What?

JOLYNE: ur cancelled! bye

Jotaro: yare

Jotaro: this chat is cursed

Chapter Text

nickanmes for the

ice ice baby: Vanilla Ice

josuke's wife: Yasuho

Herpes: Hermes

FF: Foo Fighters

Fugone: Fugo

narancha: narancia

Gucciarati: Bruno

the

Server: Jonathan and Dio's Fuck Shirt

--

JOLYNE: hey who the FUCK changed the server name

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: it wasnt me

JOLYNE: well it was fuckin one of ya's

DISGOSTIN

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: well i always wanted to be a detective so

let's figure out who it was

JOLYNE: ok lmao
who are the mods rn

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: uhhhhh

jonathan and dio obviously

pucci, avdol, erina, and giorno

JOLYNE: WHY DOES GIORNON GET TO BE A MOD AND WE DONT

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: cause he's daddys boy

GioGio: please never say that again

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: ok daddys boy

JOLYNE: who the fuck is josuke's wife

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: ??????????????????????

ZA HANDO: me

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: holy shit why is there a mod called josukes wife wtf i am home of sexual

@josuke's wife

josuke's wife: What?

Ohhh i forgot there was another josuke here

I meant the other josuke!! Sorry

JOLYNE: oh that one guy who said he was josuke higashikata

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: hate that dude

Yasuho Hirose: I changed my name back hope that's better :)

JOLYNE: cool did you make the server name jonathan and dios fuck shirt

Yasuho Hirose: No?

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: thats what someone who named the server jonathan and dios fuck shirt would say

Yasuho Hirose: I

I didn't though...

ice ice baby: heart been broke too many times

JOLYNE: ok tbh who cares it's not a big deal

GioGio: it is kind of funny though

ice ice baby: heart been broke too many times

heart been broke too many times

heart been broke too many times

JOLYNE: wtf

ice ice baby: heart been broke too many times

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: u ok bro

ice ice baby: no

JOLYNE: why

josuke 'the rock higashikata: why

ice ice baby: lord dio doesnt love me anymore

JOLYNE: .........

i

HELP

??????????????

WHAT

ice ice baby: heart been broke too many times

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: damn bro thats rough 😐 at least my bf still loves me

JOLYNE: JOSUKE UR NOT HELPING AHSJDFKASHDFJAKD

GioGio: yeah. my dad is in a relationship with jonathan now, who technically is also my dad

they're both basically my biological fathers

JOLYNE: stares

blinks

realizes

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: this is not a rp jolyne

JOLYNE: stfu (starts dry humping y

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: GIRL WTF

HELP

GioGio: i sincerely can't believe i'm related to some of you

JOLYNE: ok then stop being related to us :/ damn

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: fuck you want him to do???? die????????????

Abba: please

!!Mista: mfs be like aaaaaa im drowning bitch just drink the water

JOLYNE: HAHSDJFAAHAHAHAHA

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: imagine ur card declines at an applebees and they bring out the bees

JOLYNE: IMAGINE UR CARD DECLINES AT THE AIRPORT AND THEY THROW U OFF THE PLANE

!!Mista: imagine ur card declines at the

at

at the

..............

t

GioGio: imagine your card declines at the strip club and they give you herpes

JOLYNE: BWAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA

!!Mista: jolyne u laugh like bowser

JOLYNE: ................................................

!!Mista: im sorry do u not kin him.....

JOLYNE: STFU I DONT KIN

KINNIES DNI

GioGio: i am going to interact

epic gamer kak: dni means days in polish

JOLYNE: lol nerd

giorno do u kin

GioGio: yes

JOLYNE: whats ur carrd

link

link

link

link

link

GioGio: giornogiovanna.carrd.co

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: the makers of carrd: wtf is a kinlist

Abba: what IS a kinlist?

GioGio: it's when you relate to a fictional character a lot and they become part of your identity

Abba: shut the fuck up giorno

GioGio: you asked

Abba: i didn't want you to answer though

someone else explain please

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: it's when you related to a fictional character a lot and they become part of your identity

Abba: thank you giorno's homophobic gay cousin

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: of course

wait

Jonathan: Hello everyone :) Dio and I are going on our first date today!

GioGio: congratulations dad

JOLYNE: ....................congrats

Abba: Wait I thought they were brothers?

JOLYNE: 😐😐😐😐😐

Abba: 🤨

GioGio: Not by blood

Abba: so????

GioGio: who cares

Abba: giorno i WILL throttle you

Gucciarati: No you won't Leone

!!Mista: HA

@Jonathan what happened to erina

Jonathan: Well

We're still together?

I believe Jolyne referred to it as 'polyamorous'

JOLYNE: OH HELL YEAH ANOTHER POLY BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I LIKE YA CUT G (SLAPS YOUR

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: ass

)

JOLYNE: NO

@Herpes @FF @Jonathan @Erina @DIO we're having a poly party

Herpes: FUCK YEAHHHH

DIO: read 6:17 pm

Erina: :)

I don't think that's how it works Dio

DIO: I just wanted you to know I read it at 6:17 pm

Erina: Oh ok

We pegging tonight?

Jonathan: Erina there are children in this chat

Erina: My bad

GioGio: I'm children

JOLYNE: i'm baby

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: i'm josuke

JOLYNE: jonathan probably popped a blood vessel trying not to make the dad joke

Jonathan: :(

DIO: Hey jojo

Jonathan: Yes Dio?

DIO: I'm topping tonight

Jonathan: DIO!!!!!!!!!!

Erina: No I am

Jonathan: ERINA

DIO: rock paper scissors

JOLYNE: lol scissors

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: stfu lesbian

JOLYNE: HAHA

Herpes: Jolyne Cujoh (real) (lesbian) (suici

JOLYNE: ???????????????????

Herpes: anyways

JOLYNE: finish the sentence hermes.

Herpes: no

JOLYNE: PLEASE

IM BEGGING YOU

I AM ON MY KNEES

Annakiss: cool can you give me a bj

JOLYNE: FUCK OFF ;YOU DONTA EVEB BAVE A PEAINIS

FF: bj stands for boob juice

JOLYNE: I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

AT MY LIMIT

GioGio: this server has mentally destroyed jolyne

JOLYNE: i fucking hate u all /j

DIO: i fucking hate you all /srs

JOLYNE: ...........

Jonathan: :(

DIO: Except you I suppose

Erina: :(

DIO: Ok and you

ice ice baby: :(

please respond

dio

lord dio

please

dio lord dio please

PLEASE

JOLYNE: f

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: f

Herpes: f

FF: ff

GioGio: F

!!Mista: g

JOLYNE: h

Herpes: i

!!Mista: j

GioGio: k

FF: l

!!Mista: l

JOLYNE: m

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: n

trish: o

JOLYNE: p

trish: q

!!Mista: r

FF: s

Herpes: s

Fugone: Hey guys

trish: shut up fugo

ugh now we have to start over

a

JOLYNE: b

Herpes: c

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: d

FF: e

Fugone: f

GioGio: g

trish: h

JOLYNE: i

Fugone: j

GioGio: j

!!Mista: k

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: l

JOLYNE: m

Herpes: n

Fugone: o

FF: p

trish: q

!!Mista: r

GioGio: s

JOLYNE: t

Herpes: t

Fugone: u

!!Mista: v

trish: w

GioGio: x

FF: y

josuke 'the rock higashikata: and z

narancha: now

i

know

my

a

b

c's

narancha: next

time

won't

you

sing

with

me

:)

JOLYNE: jojo discord server sings the abcs (2011, colorized)

narancha: isn't it 2020

trish: i thought it was 2001

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: i thought it was 1999

ZA HANDO: bizarre summer

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: 巡る勇気で生きる町

JOLYNE: breakdown breakdown

narancha: fighting gold

JOSEFU JOESTA: like a bloody storm atsuku like a bloody stone

Fugone: i'm starting with the man in the mirror

Jonathan: So no chi no sadame

josuke 'the rock' higashikata: great days

Chapter Text

the dudes

Johoe: Joseph

Diosaur:  Diego

wacky mineral: Josuke

Rice Dish: risotto

spice girl: Trish

norange: Narancia

FF: Foo Fighters

Herpes: Hermes

Server: Jonathan and Dio's Fuck Shirt

--

JOLYNE: daddy issue mfs make some noise

spice girl: ok (snaps my neck)

JOLYNE: wtf

!!Mista: bottoms lemme hear yall make some noise

Diosaur: mm! ah! hng.. anh... ow..! mmh!

!!Mista: never mind!

joekid: lol diego you dont even have sex

Diosaur: yes i do

joekid: no u dont

!!Mista: wow johnny no need to rub it in that you fuck gyro on the daily

joekid: you think i can fuck with these legs

!!Mista: BITCH IDONT KNOW YOUR LIFE

go go zeppeli: its complicated but. we make it work

Diosaur: i literall get pegged

joekid: by who. your daddy issues

Diosaur: by hot pants

JOLYNE: ddaddy issues mfs get pegged !!

DIO: I'd rather be the one doing the pegging thank you

Jonathan: :)

JOLYNE: ...anyways

GioGio: what if you have daddy issues and mommy issues

JOLYNE: orphan with extra steps

wacky mineral: how many of us have daddy issues got damn

Diosaur: all of us

Jonathan: I don't have them :(

DIO: Jojo your father is dead

Jonathan: Yeah and who's fault is that

wacky mineral: ooooooooooooh

Pucci gang: Lord dio is your father not also dead

DIO: yeah that one's my fault too

Johoe: dio brando slayer of daddies dominator of worlds

wacky mineral: you know what else hes the dominator of

JOLYNE: josuke ive just about had it

wacky mineral: jonathans asshoJFSIHRI*$@(#@#(@)#@ }|{}|{|}:":~:{}>@><>!%!%%!!$$@$##*(:":{}?><>><?>~~!#:!#@@@@:"***

Jonathan: Poor thing. walked right into the electrical fence while speaking

FF: i dont have parents

wacky mineral: lmao orphan

Jonathan: Be nice!!

wacky mineral: no

FF: i am jsut a. mass of plakton

wacky mineral: plankton like from spung bop?

JOLYNE: oh hell nah they all up on spunch bobs shit

FF: give me the crappy patty recpie

FF: hello

 i killed the chat

do you guys think thanos is bald so remy ratatouile cant control him

!!Mista: remy is overpowered

norange: is that why you wear a hat all the time

!!Mista: narancia you've seen me without my hat

norange: that rat is really good at hiding

Johoe: if remy can control you by your hair can he also control you by your pubes.

Shiza: how do i deleete someone else's message

Johoe: can remy control me by my massive schlong

Diavolo: I'm controlled by my head lice

JOLYNE: you KNOW fettucine or whatever his name was and that bitch couldnt get freaky cause if she pulls his hair that twink gonna start cooking spaghetti on her ass

Herpes: HIS NAME IS REMY

JOLYNE: IM TALKING ABOUT THE TWINK

Herpes: LINGUINE?????????

wacky mineral: who names their child after a noodle

Diavolo: who names their child after a rice dish i'm looking at you risotto

Rice Dish:

Diavolo: fuck im kinshifting

JOLYNE: what

Diavolo: GRRHHAHH... GRNHUHGF N.... HGN..... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

JOLYNE: calm down The Hulk

Doppio: :3

wacky mineral: kin shifted too hard. died

!!Mista: i'd be scared to have sex with doppio cause you gonna whip your dick out and that mf gonna rip it off and start calling the boss

GioGio: I'd be scared to have sex with Doppio because it's Doppio

Doppio: Can we talk about something else

!!Mista: doesy our dick change sizes when you transform from doppio to diavolo

Doppio: i

will neither confirm nor deny

norange: im taking that as a yes

!!Mista: im going to bed

norange: can i come

!!Mista: no

GioGio: can i come :)

!!Mista: yes

Johoe: can i cum ;)

Shiza: absolutely not

!!Mista: yall shut up

norange: wtf. not fair

spice girl: nrancia you can come to bed with me <3

norange: no you made fun of my skechers :(

spice girl: maybe next time dont wear light up sketchers to a wedding

JOLYNE: wtf who got married????????? why wasnt i invited?????????????

norange: it was bruno and abbacchio AND AT LESAST I DIDNT WEAR HEELS AND BREAK MY ANKLE

spice girl: at least i dont have a learning disability

JOLYNE: trish woke up and chose violence

GioGio: that was uncalled for

!!Mista: no it was absolutely called for keep going

norange: i thought you 2 were going to bed :/

!!Mista: i changed my mind this is more entertaining

norange: 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444

GioGio: Good job Nara you just made Mista cry

norange: YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE

spice girl: (gunshots)

Bruno: I'm taking away everyone's phones

norange: WAIT

JOLYNE: yep this ones going in my cringe compliation

Chapter Text

ed sheeran: girl you know i want yor love

annasui: omg me with jolyne!

Jolyne muted annasui for 5 years