Chapter Text
I woke up to a burning pain on my arm. My mother, my horrible mother, was putting out her cigarette on my shoulder.
“Wake up, wretched sinner,” she said lovingly.
“Mom, what the heck?!?” I exclaimed. She flicked her cig onto the floor and began pulling cloaks out of my dresser and tossing them into a cardboard box.
“You’re going to live in a different nunnery now,” she said calmly, as if this was an everyday occurrence. She continued to speak as she flung my belongings in the box. “They paid a lot of money for you, so try to make yourself look presentable.. If that's even possible.”
My mother exited the room, leaving me baffled. Owners? Paid? My own dang mother sold me! She probably found the sick people on Craigslist, too.
Oh well. Figuring there was nothing i could do about it, i let out a sigh and finished gathering the few belongings i had and placing them in the box. I folded down the top and lifted it up, placing it on my hip for support. Goodbye, room. This was the last I would be seeing of you.
I trudged into my mother and I’s shared bathroom and set the box down on the counter. I applied a thin layer of winged eyeliner and two coats of mascara. I also used concealer to hide my imperfections because I’m insecure and think I’m ugly, even though my new owners/husband are going to tell me how beautiful I am fairly shortly. But i don't know that yet.
I ran a comb through my hair and put it, along with my makeup, deodorant, razor, into the box. I also changed into black leggings and an oversized sweatshirt that said “#StSeb” on the front. Saint Sebastian was one of my favorite saints. I also loved St. Augustine and St. Paulinus.
The doorbell rang and my mom called my name, which meant my owners were here. I grabbed the box and began walking down the stairs, but stopped when I heard familiar voices. Could it be?
It was. The Orkneys were in my living room. Were they really my new owners?
“Hi, I’m Gaheris! You must be Galahad?” Gaheris said. My jaw hit the floor. An Orkney knew my name. It was at that moment my arms decided to give out and my box collapsed to the floor. The knights knelt down to help me pick up my belongings, which were now scattered everywhere, and they all introduced themselves.
“I know who Gawain is,” I explained. “My dad’s a big fan.”
“Always a pleasure to meet sons of exes! And I'm glad you aren't one of those catholics that hates horny people, because I bet we'd be off to a rough start if you were,” Gawain chuckled. Mordred coughed to get our attention and we all looked over to him. He was holding up my painting of Saint Sebastian, the one I covered in pink heart stickers and lipstick marks, giving me a look. I blushed and snatched it from him, quickly putting it back in the box. I continued the conversation with the boys, but Gaheris never took his eyes off me.
“Do I have something on my face?” I asked him quietly.
“Forgive me for staring, you just look weirdly like a french guy i tried to kill once,” he said. I shook my head, everyone always said I looked like my dad. He stopped by a lot to try and convince my mom to let him take me to his castle in France, but he always ran off crying, and my mom says he's going to Hell anyways.
“Well, let’s get going then!” Mordred chirped. We walked outside where there were a bunch of horses waiting for us. I didn't say goodbye to my mom because the wench sold me, even if it was to my dad's favorite knights.
“So why were you in the market for a kid?” I asked the Orkneys.
“Well,” said Gawain, “We’ve been having trouble appealing to the christian crowd now that we “committed grievous sins.””
“We also thought having a grail knight in the family would help us gain more sway in court,” Aggravain added.
“Plus we need to replace Gareth. French loving slut,” Mordred murmured. Everyone stared at him.
“What? It’s true.”
After a minute I realized what the Orkneys had just said.
“Wait… am i in the family now?” I asked excitedly.
“Yes, “ Gaheris said while smiling. “We’re taking Orkney in a new direction.”
He brought out a stack of paperwork from one of the pouches of the horse and waved them around through the air in the direction of his brothers.
“Okay, so how do we go about with this whole political marriage thing. Do they just have to say I do? Gawain you’re ordained right? Aggs you know the paperwork side of things, they just have to sign this?” He babbled excitedly as he climbed up onto a horse.
“Gaheris stop swinging those around like a madman you’re going to drop one, or worse, get a papercut and annoy me about it for the next hour,” Aggravain snatched the papers from his younger brothers waving hands.
“Guys guys stop fighting you’re gonna scare him off- he's a Du Lac by blood right? Who knows how easily he cries,” Gawain took the papers from Aggravains hands to read over them before passing them to Mordred perched atop a horse towards the front of the group.
“I think if we just sign the papers it’s legally binding.” Mordred looked nonchalantly down from his position on the horse. “You can say no if you don't want to be included in this, y’know. Don’t let my stupid brothers over eagerness to marry us away think you don't have a say in this. We’ll just drop you off at your dad’s place or something.”
I froze. A political marriage with an Orkney? There were few ways this could end and what I’d heard about this family from my Dad in between his sobs none of those endings were good. Apparently one of their wives left to go to fairyland at one point. But, maybe this was my chance. My mom always told me I was destined for greatness, that I would be the best knight of the round table there ever was, this had to be my God given chance at that title. I could finally be the Du Lac that actually married an Orkney and achieved the Grail.
“Mordred,” I started, “I’ll do it.