Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He moved into the building on a rainy Thursday.

Dominic would always remember each detail from that day vividly -
well, one specific detail more than others. He rounded a corner
blindly, the boxes in his arms obstructing his view, and collided
with another individual, both of them crashing to the floor in a cloud
of Dominic’s briefs.

Of course it had to be his briefs.

“Oh my god, oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he exclaimed, turning a deep
shade of red. He stood and it was only then that he got a good look
at the person he’d, quite literally, run into. There, on the floor of
the carpeted hallway, sat a dark-haired man. Dominic could tell that
he was dark-haired because the pair of Dominic’s snow white briefs
that were currently draped across his head made his hair stand out.

At this point, Dominic began to contemplate his options, one of which
included turning and bolting for the exit, changing his name, and
moving at least three hours away from the scene of such humiliation.
Mid-contemplation, the young man on the floor removed the offending
undergarment from his head, looked up into Dominic’s eyes, and
coughed.

“Well. Good afternoon.”

“I’m really sorry,” Dominic repeated, offering the young man his hand,
“I’m Dominic, I’m new here, and clearly I have an issue with walking
and carrying boxes of underwear at the same time - apparently it turns
me into a clumsy idiot.”

The stranger blinked, his eyes scanning Dominic’s face, and
instinctively Dominic found himself doing the same thing in kind. For
two people who had just met, they felt as though they were meeting an
old and dear friend. “Not clumsy, no, and definitely not an idiot.
I’m Matthew. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Dominic intended to return the greeting, but he found himself looking
down at their still-joined hands.

“What’s this, then?”

A third voice cut into their reverie, Matthew releasing Dominic’s hand
abruptly and jumping to his feet. He fell into step beside another
young man, a tall redhead, and cleared his throat. “Sorry, I just met
our new neighbor - Dominic, this is Ian, my partner. Ian, this is
Dominic… I’m sorry, I didn’t get your last name?”

Though his mood had instantly deflated at the mention of the word
‘partner’, Dominic plastered a grin on his face. “Howard. Dominic
Howard. And yes, I’m moving into number 23.”

“How fantastic! We’re in number 27, right down the hall - we’ll be
expecting you over to dinner, and very soon! It’s great to meet you.”
He turned his attention to Matthew. “Matt, we’d better get going,
yeah?”

Matthew was still staring at Dominic.

“Well? Are you coming?” Ian asked.

“Yes,” Matthew had answered quickly, scurrying away after him as
Dominic looked down at his own hand, still able to feel Matthew’s
warmth on it.

During his first couple of weeks in the building, Dominic mostly kept
to himself. He’d been on his own for so long that he’d grown
accustomed to solitude. He was happy enough to sit alone in his
barely-furnished flat reading on most nights, always keeping an eye
out for anyone in the papers who might need a session drummer.
Anyone who would have seen him during these nights would think that
Dominic were a starving artist, but that was actually anything but the
case.

He chose to live a simple life; the fact that he’d come into an
unexpected, and large, inheritance from a long-lost uncle two years
ago had not changed that fact. Dominic had grown up with next to
nothing. He knew all too well the stress of poverty, and even though
he now had the means to own anything he wanted, he chose to donate to
charities on a monthly basis, himself living on a very basic stipend.
Material things mattered little to Dominic. He had his beloved
drumkit. That was all he needed.

Except, it wasn’t.

Just because he’d grown accustomed to being on his own didn’t mean
that he didn’t occasionally experience loneliness. He’d not thought
much about men until the moment that he’d bumped into Matthew and
didn’t want to let go of his hand. Until he found himself staring at
the door to number 27 whenever he passed it just hoping to get another
glimpse of the man behind it.

It would be his luck to find himself intrigued by a man who was
already taken. Besides, this was real life, not a fairy tale where
two people meet and suddenly experience this inexplicably cosmic
connection that seems completely fantastic yet feels simply… real.
Dominic reminded himself that he barely knew Matthew. To be fair, he
could be a horrible person - right? He resigned himself to the fact
that he would just have to put Matthew out of his mind, because he had
absolutely no intention of breaking up anyone’s relationship, that
much was certain.

He kept his head down, spending his days exploring the city. In a few
days, he’d scoped out the best used bookstores, a local bar that
frequently showcased live local bands, and an independent art gallery.
Dominic was pleased that he would be able to feed his brain with a
liberal dose of the arts and literature that he craved like oxygen.
He located the local homeless shelter, signing up to volunteer in any
way he could. If he wasn’t drumming, he could at least make himself
useful in other ways. His late father had always told him that life
was a gift; that it was imperative to spend as much of it as possible
remembering that there is always someone who can use a helping hand at
most, a smile in the least.

Dominic never forgot that.

On his fourth week in the city, he ducked into a local bakery with the
intent of picking up a few fresh croissants, and ran into Ian and
Matthew in the process. He was trying to decide if he should speak to
them or not when Ian noticed him.

“Hello there, neighbor,” he greeted Dominic with a wave, “fancy seeing
you here.”

“Hey there. Yeah, I was in the mood for something...um, something
baked.” Brilliant, Dominic, brilliant. Truly, you are a veritable
master of conversation.

Matthew turned around, eyes widening, but only for a beat, at the
sight of Dominic. Dominic smiled at him and nodded his head.
“Matthew.”

“Hello,” Matthew said quietly, Dominic noticing just how blue his eyes were.

“Run along and get the usual, yeah, babe?” Ian said, Matthew turning
to the counter to place his order. Ian turned to Dominic, arms
crossed. “So, how’s things?”

“Things are fine, things are fine. And how are things with the two of you?”

“Not bad, thank you! I’ve been exhausted lately; my back is killing
me. I work for an advertising firm and have been pulling some long
nights. It’s good money, so I can’t really complain.” He rolled his
eyes in Matthew's direction. "After all, we can't all sit at home
unemployed like Matthew."

Dominic shot a glance at Matthew's back and spoke before he could stop
himself. “Well, money isn’t everything.”

Ian laughed loudly, slapping Dominic lightly on the shoulder. His eyes
traveled up and down Dominic's body, twice. Dominic couldn't believe
his eyes, was Ian actually checking him out so blatantly with Matthew
practically right next to them? “True, that. And what exactly do you
do for a living again, Dominic?”

“I’m a musician. A drummer.”

This bit of information seemed to amuse Ian. “Oh? How’s that working?”

“It’s working just fine.”

“How completely lovely for you,” Ian smiled.

Dominic turned to Matthew, who had joined them, purchases in hand.
“So, Matthew, ho-”

“It’s been just super talking with you but we should really get
going,” Ian interrupted, reaching for Matthew’s hand, “isn’t that
right, Matt?”

Matthew nodded, glancing at his watch.

“See you around, Dominic! We’ll have to get together for dinner
soon!” Ian waved as he led Matthew away.

Dominic waved and turned to the young woman behind the counter, who
was still staring at the door in the wake of Ian and Matthew’s exit.

“What a prick,” she said quietly.

Dominic had to agree.

He saw Matthew and Ian occasionally in passing, and in those moments
Ian was always exceedingly polite, and Matthew always subdued and
quiet, his hands full of shopping bags or laundry. Dominic waited for
a reiteration of Ian’s initial mention of a dinner invitation, which
he’d been looking forward to accepting, simply for a chance to see
Matthew again, but it never came. He found himself wondering why
Matthew was with a man like Ian, who liked to belittle him to people
he barely knew.

The days passed, morphing into weeks. Dominic had been indulging in
the odd drumming gig, spending most of his nights devouring the works
of Lovecraft, listening to The Clash, and trying desperately to banish
all thoughts of Matthew from his mind. A one-night-stand with a man
he’d met downtown on a random Saturday night had sated his physical
cravings, but it left him feeling emotionally empty and somehow
tainted. Meaningless couplings were not what he was looking for.

The very next night, Dominic had just turned out his lights with a
yawn, intent on crawling into bed to sleep the sleep of the dead, when
he heard a shout outside his window. He paused, his ears reaching for
the sound, and sure enough, it came again, the sound of someone
yelling. Dominic pulled back his curtain and peeked out into the
parking area, curious for the source of the commotion.

He was stunned when he located it.

Matthew and Ian were there, and by the looks - and sounds - of it, Ian
was extremely angry, and focusing said anger on Matthew, who stood
next to him, head down, flinching with every angry word Ian shot his
way. Dominic gripped the curtain tightly, his pulse racing. What on
earth was going on down there? He bit his lip and watched as Ian
suddenly pulled Matthew into his arms, soothing him with a long
embrace. As quickly as the incident had begun, it ended with Ian’s
arm wrapped around Matthew as they walked into the building.

Dominic got into bed frowning, playing the scene over in his mind
until he fell asleep.

A few days later in the laundry room, Dominic met Tom Kirk, another
young man who lived in the building. They shared a lot of things in
common, namely the same taste in music, which led to a hour-long
conversation on the early days of punk rock. Tom worked in
photography at the local newspaper, was handsome, friendly, and in
ownership of a wicked sense of humor. After removing what seemed like
hundreds of socks from the dryer, he turned to Dominic.

“I have an epic idea.”

“How epic? Where on the Scale Of Epicness does it fall?’ Dominic
asked, amused, as he folded his yellow skinnies.

“Dude, this one goes to eleven. Have you eaten yet? Wanna head to
mine and grab a bite?”

“You don’t have other plans?”

“As if! My girlfriend is visiting her family up north for two weeks,
so I’m all alone - I’d love it if you’d come over and at least have a
pizza or something with me. It’s too damn quiet here at night for me
right now.”

Dominic smiled; he'd liked Tom instantly. “Sure thing, I’d love that!”

About an hour later, they found themselves at Tom's sitting opposite a
large meat lover’s special from the pizza joint down the street.

“So, what do you think of the building so far?”

“It’s nice. Mostly quiet, actually. I’ve met you, and Matthew and
Ian from down the hall, but that’s it so far.”

“Oh?” Tom paused, hand poised over the pizza box. As though he’d had
second thoughts, he sat back down on the couch and turned the volume
down on the television. “What was your impression of them, if you
don’t mind my asking?”

“It happened so fast that I didn’t really have time to formulate an
opinion. Why?”

“I don’t know. It’s going to make me sound like a gossip, and also
like some creepy, nosy neighbor.”

“We’re both adults here, just say what’s on your mind, Tom.”

“I just… well let’s just say that theirs doesn’t seem to be a very
healthy relationship.”

Dominic took a drag from his beer. “What?”

“I think that Matthew Bellamy is one of the nicest, gentlest people in
this building, and possibly in the entire galaxy. And, I also think
that he’s much too good for Ian Evanston.”

“How so?”

“About three weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were walking down the hall
and we heard the sound of glass breaking coming from their flat.
Which, alone, wouldn’t have been a big deal, except, well…” Tom
trailed off, looking down at the floor. “Then the shouting started.”

Dominic’s stomach dropped. “Oh,” he whispered.

“At that point, what do you do, you know? At best, you tell yourself
you’re merely concerned, but at worst you feel incredibly
inappropriate for eavesdropping. I sent my date on to my flat, but
held my position. It… wasn’t pretty. Best as I can tell, it had been
Matthew’s turn to pick up their dry cleaning, and he’d failed to do
so. Ian… he flipped, fucking flipped. He was shouting the
most hateful, horrible things to Matthew. I was embarrassed for
Matthew, then I heard the unmistakable sound of someone being slapped
across the face, hard. I snapped, and that’s when I pounded on
the door.”

“What happened then?”

“It took a minute or so for Matthew to open the door just a crack. I
asked him if everything was alright, that I’d been passing by and
heard glass breaking. He laughed and apologized for having the
television on too loudly, that it wouldn’t happen again. When he’d
opened the door, I could only see the right side of his face, but when
he closed the door he forgot himself and turned away. His left cheek
bore Ian’s handprint, Dom. That’s how hard he’d been slapped.”
Tom sighed, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. “I was
sick. I’ve been sick ever since then to be honest. But, I don’t know
how to help him. I’ve known them for about a year now, but mostly in
passing, you know? I mean, I feel helpless knowing that happened -
and what worries me most is how many times has it happened that nobody
knows about?”

Suddenly, Dominic remembered that night he’d witnessed the two of them
arguing, and the fact that it hadn’t actually been an argument with
two participants. What he’d actually witnessed had been Ian shouting
at Matthew while Matthew simply stood, head down, and silent.

“Have you ever noticed that when you see them together Matthew’s
always carrying their things?”

Dominic nodded. He suddenly couldn’t take another bite.

“Ian treats him like a slave. He works at a large advertising firm in
the city, and doesn’t miss an opportunity to brag about it. Matthew
is a stay-at-home-partner. He’s actually a songwriter.” Tom smiled a
sad smile. “I’d bet anything that he’s talented as fuck, too. I
wonder how often he gets the chance to showcase his work, or if he
gets to showcase it at all?”

Songwriter. Dominic couldn’t help but smile a bit himself.
The more he learned about Matthew Bellamy, the more he liked him. His
attachment was increasing in intensity - but it was becoming less
about Dominic’s personal wants and more about Matthew’s safety and
well-being.

“It’s not right. Do you think if we tried to talk to Matthew-”

“I’ve tried already to intervene and nothing came of it.”

“What?”

“Matthew always collects his mail downstairs around eleven in the
morning while Ian is at work - it’s the only time I see him alone. I
approached him a couple of days later and told him that he could
always come to me if he ever needed anything. I didn’t mention what
had happened on that night, and neither did he - but he basically, in
his own quiet way, told me to mind my own business. He doesn’t want
anyone’s help. At least,” Tom shook his head, “that’s what he says.”

“He never smiles,” Dominic said suddenly.

“He - what?”

“Have you ever noticed that?”

Because I sure have.

Tom opened his mouth to speak, then closed it abruptly. He merely
shook his head and put his plate down with a sigh.

That night, in bed, Dominic found himself unable to sleep. He was
horrified at Matthew’s situation and he simply couldn’t get it out of
his mind. He kept wondering if perhaps it was all a massive
misunderstanding, if perhaps the things Tom had seen and heard could,
somehow, be explained. Even so, though, he was reminded of the sight
of Ian yelling at Matthew outside his window the other night and knew
that what was happening was definitely, well, happening. There was no
explaining it away, and no sugar-coating it.

The next morning, with Tom’s words still echoing in his mind, Dominic
made his way down to the empty mailroom. After giving up various
nonchalant poses in an attempt to look casual, he gave up and just
decided to wander over to the window to watch the birds outside. He
was wondering just how conspicuous he looked standing there, when,
right at eleven on the spot, Matthew walked in.

He didn’t see Dominic at first, which gave Dominic a few moments to
study him. Quite simply, Matthew took Dominic’s breath away. He was
dressed in a simple white t-shirt and matching jeans, a pair of black
braces hooked over his shoulders. A shock of ebony hair was spiked
ever so slightly. When he opened his mailbox Dominic was enthralled
by the smoothness of his arm - and at the ivory tone of the skin
itself. He wasn’t a tall man, no; he put Dominic in mind of a pixie.

Dominic cleared his throat.

Matthew turned, one hand against his chest and his eyes wide. “Oh, I
didn’t realize anyone else was here.” He looked like he’d nearly been
startled out of his skin.

Dominic mentally added the sound of Matthew’s voice to the List of
Beautiful Bellamy Attributes he’d been crafting in his mind.

“Just me,” he smiled, “just, you know, checking for mail.” Jesus,
Dominic, you turn into a blithering idiot in front of this man every
time you get close to him.

Matthew nodded. “Right.”

“So, how have you been? I haven’t really had a chance to get to speak
to you properly since I got here.”

Matthew looked nervously around the small room, as though he were
scoping out escape options. Dominic began to wonder if this had been
a mistake; Matthew seemed to grow more anxious as the seconds passed.
“I really need to get back up to the flat, I-”

“I could walk you?”

Matthew looked Dominic in the eye and drew a deep breath. “Okay,
yeah, sure.” They fell into step together and ascended the stairwell.

“So, what do you do, Matthew?”

“I’m just a songwriter, nothing special.”

“My arse, nothing special!”

Matthew turning to him, one eyebrow raised.

“Sorry, poor choice of words. I just meant that to say that being a
songwriter is nothing special is just incredible to me. Music is pure
expression, a singularly personal form of it, and anyone who chooses
to give their life over to it should be celebrated. Don’t sell
yourself short.”

“Well, I just dabble here and there. I’ve not sold anything in a few
years now, but I can’t bear to give it up. I’m lucky that Ian works
and allows me to pursue it, really.”

“I bet he’s proud of you.”

“I’ve not done anything for him to be proud of,” Matthew shrugged.
“Notebooks filled with unpublished lyrics aren’t worthy of
celebration.” He glanced at his watch, down the hall, then to
Dominic, just as they arrived at Matthew’s door. “Well, it was nice
talking with you.”

Before Dominic could reply, the door shut in his face.

Chapter Text

Life in the building continued.

Or, rather, Dominic’s fascination with Matthew continued, even though he rarely bumped into the songwriter. He found himself wondering constantly if Matthew were okay, to the point that he began to seriously ponder if it were becoming a borderline obsession. Dominic had decided that he needed a distraction.

So, to that end, Dominic had been spending time volunteering in the children’s ward at the local hospital, reading stories to some, playing dress-up with some others. He was over the moon when he found a music shop downtown on a random walk one evening. He’d nearly missed it, until a blue neon light caught his eye. Upon closer inspection, the light said “Wolstenaxes”. The sight of a blue bass guitar on lighted display in the front window seemed to beckon Dominic to come inside, and Dominic obeyed instantly.

What he found inside was nothing short of a revelation.

Wolstenaxes was a guitar shop like no other Dominic had ever been in before. Instruments lined the walls as far as the eye could see. One room was devoted to electric guitars, the next to assorted bass guitars - one smaller room even held mandolins and violins. Dominic was especially delighted to see that Wolstenaxes also dealt in percussion, and it was while Dominic was kneeling, examining a see-through kit that had caught his eye immediately, that someone spoke behind him.

“That one’s a beauty. I’m a bit surprised it’s still here, actually.”

Dominic stood and turned, finding himself faced with a tall young man with a smile on his face. “Yeah, it sure is. I might be persuaded to give it a good home.”

“Say the word and it can be yours. Name’s Chris, by the way,” he extended one hand, which Dominic shook with a smile. “If I can help you with anything, just let me know. Look all you’d like.”

“This is my first time in your store, and I have to say, you’ve got something fantastic here. Great vibe, quality product-”

Chris raised one eyebrow. “You know your stuff, then? Are you an afficianado?

Dominic shrugged. “Well, I don’t know about that but I dabble, yeah. Drums. Do you play?”

“I can usually be found with a bass in my hands at any waking moment. Playing is my lifeblood.”

They were interrupted by the sound of a guitar being tuned, followed by the sound of an impressive riff. Chris crossed his arms and winked at Dominic. “Talk about luck. You’re just in time, this guy is amazing.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Comes in on the first Tuesday night of every month, like clockwork, for an hour or so, and jams in the one of the rooms upstairs. He can do things with a guitar that will blow your mind. He doesn’t say a lot, just walks in, nods a hello, goes inside, closes the door, and goes at it. I figure it’s good advertisement for my product, actually. Any customers that happen to be here when he’s jamming end up stopping in their tracks and just listening to him.”

Judging from the frankly fantastic sounding guitar music now flooding the store, Dominic reckoned he could understand that pretty damned well. “And he only comes in once a month?”

“He bought a guitar from me a few years back. Once someone has made a purchase here, they gain automatic access to one of the jam rooms whenever they wish.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“That’s an interesting policy, pretty cool of you.”

Chris beamed. “My father instituted that policy ages ago, and it’s been a pretty popular one over the years. Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” he apologized, eyeing another customer who had just entered. “Take a look around!”

Dominic wandered around the store, examining all of the kits he could. He spent a good hour giving them a thorough once-over. He even tried out a guitar or two, although the sensation of holding one in his hands was foreign to him. Dominic wrinkled his nose and shook his head with a wry laugh. Nope, it was definitely not for him.

He was in the process of seeking Chris out to discuss the price of the clear drumkit when someone came bounding down the stairs and nearly bumped into him.

It was Matthew.

Dominic was surprised to see him, but the look on Matthew’s face reflected the fact that he was just as surprised to be seen. His mouth dropped open in surprise and he began to look around the shop as though he were frantically searching for someone. He swallowed.

Matthew looked so incredibly anxious that Dominic was instantly worried.

“Hey!” Dominic said happily, hoping to lighten the mood. “Jesus, was that you playing just now? You are one talented-”

“You never saw me here,” Matthew whispered nervously, then ran out the door and into the night.

“What the hell was that?” Chris asked from behind the counter. He frowned.

Dominic shook his head. “I’m not sure.”

They discussed the see-through drumkit a bit more, which was really just a formality, because Dominic had decided that he simply couldn’t live without it the moment he laid eyes on it. Chris promised to have it delivered the next day.

On the walk home, what he’d seen played heavily on Dominic’s mind. Why had Matthew been so spooked to see Dominic? So, Matthew was no mere songwriter, he was also a guitarist - a very talented one. Dominic found himself wondering if what he’d just heard had been an original composition. His mind kept drifting back to that frightened look on Matthew’s face, though. He couldn’t shake it.

When Dominic finally made it back to the building, Tom and his girlfriend Alexis were standing in the lobby, talking with Ian and Matthew.

“Well, maybe next time the two of you can join us,” Alexis smiled, Tom’s eyes on Matthew. “Hi, Dominic!”

“Oh, of course!” Ian said loudly, one arm around Matthew’s waist. “If it had been any other night, we’d have loved to, but this is the one night a month that Matthew takes part in his little book club. He only got back a few minutes ago, so we’re heading out for a late dinner. But, next time, definitely!”

Book club?

Dominic looked at Matthew. Ian was still speaking to Alexis, oblivious to the wordless communication Matthew and Dominic were indulging in. Matthew had grown pale, his breathing coming quickly. He was, Dominic could tell, silently willing him to keep quiet and not correct Ian regarding his whereabouts earlier that evening. He needent have worried - Dominic, for his part, had no intention of doing so. It wasn’t his secret to divulge.

“Book clubs are the best,” he said cheerfully, digging through his pockets for his keys with a smile. “Well, good night, all.”

“See you soon, Dom,” Tom called, “we need to get together again for more bad pizza!”

“You got it,” Dominic replied, laughing. “Hey, I may give you a call in a few if that’s okay?”

“Sure!”

Later that night, Dominic shared with Tom what had happened that evening over the phone. Tom was just as mystified as Dominic over Matthew’s behavior. The only explanation either of them could come up with was that perhaps it was the only time that Matthew truly had to himself. Perhaps it was his way of a break from Ian?

If only that had made either of them feel better about the situation.

The next morning Dominic was having a late breakfast when a knock on the door interrupted him. He padded over to answer it, tightening his leopard print robe, and opened it. He found Matthew standing there, eyes cast downward.

“Hi there,” Dominic smiled, genuinely pleased to see the gorgeous creature again. “Come in!”

Matthew did, stepping into Dominic’s flat. “I won’t stay long, I just wanted to say um, about last night,” he stammered, “thank you for not telling.”

Dominic nodded, biting his lip. “It’s none of my business.”

“I just…” Matthew looked around, as though he were looking for the words he wanted to say, as though he might find them written on the walls of Dominic’s flat. “I don’t like lying to him, but Ian wouldn’t understand.”

“Why not?”

Matthew swallowed, looking away. Dominic quickly changed his approach. “So what sort of guitar did you buy from Chris? What’s it like?”

“I don’t have it anymore.”

“Oh.”

Abruptly, he looked at Dominic, scanning his face, blue eyes drinking in the sight of him. “You’re very kind,” he said. “I should go, I just, yeah, thank you.”

Dominic wanted to take Matthew into his arms so much in that moment that the want created a physical ache. It was becoming more and more apparent that Matthew encountered precious few kind people in his life. “It’s not just kindness,” he blurted out.

“What?”

“I worry about you, I-”

“Worry about me? You barely know me. What reason could you possibly have for-”

“Tom and I are both worried for you.”

Matthew paused, understanding flooding into his expression. “You’ve been talking with Tom. Now it makes sense.”

Dominic opened his mouth to reply, then closed it abruptly. What was there to say?

“He should really mind his own business, especially when it was a simple matter of our television being turned up too loudly. I wonder who else he’s been talking to. How dare he-”

“Did the television leave the mark on your face that night also?”

Matthew’s head shot up, his eyes wild. Dominic waited for a denial, for anything, but the other man remained silent.

“You’re not even going to deny it, are you?”

Matthew’s lips were pressed tightly together.

“Would he be angry with you for going to Wolstenaxes? Is that why you’ve had to lie to him? Are you afraid of what he’ll do if he finds out the truth? Will he hurt you? Why do you put up with that, Matthew?”

“He loves me, he takes care of me.”

Dominic was stunned. “You can’t honestly believe that! He hurts you! I saw the two of you arguing next to your car a few weeks ago and the tone he used to speak to you, it made me sick, Matthew.”

“I need him. You don’t understand.”

He took Matthew’s hands. “Then help me understand,” he implored. “Help me understand.” They remained in that same position for a few seconds, Matthew staring down at their joined hands. Barely, imperceptibly, Dominic felt him squeeze his own. Dominic exhaled a shaky breath and squeezed back. He caressed Matthew’s knuckles with the pad of his thumb. Matthew looked up at him, his eyes rimmed with tears.

Dominic chose his words carefully, intent on conveying feeling and not applying unwelcome pressure. “I would take care of you if you were mine,” he whispered. “I would cherish you.” Matthew just stared at him, deep into Dominic’s eyes, as though he were trying to read Dominic’s very soul. He took a step forward and very nearly allowed Dominic to take him into his arms.

Then, for reasons known only to Matthew, the spell was broken. Matthew tore his hands from Dominic’s and sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “I shouldn’t have come here. I can’t.”

“You can. Let me help you, help you find another-”

“Another what?” Matthew spat, throwing his hands in the air. “What makes you think I want another anything? Jesus, who the hell do you think you are, saying these things to me? My life is none of your business.” With that, he stood and walked to Dominic’s door.

Dominic, defeated, followed him to the door and implored once more: “Let me help you, Matthew.”

As he walked out into the hall, Matthew’s eyes no longer had that wild spark inside them. Dominic gasped at how blank and defeated they looked as he finally replied, quietly.

“You can’t.”

The door closed just as Dominic had whispered a reply.

“I won’t stop trying.”

Two days later he was deep in thought, well, deep in thought as one could be while struggling with a sudoku puzzle, when a knock came to his door. Hoping perhaps it was Matthew, he jumped up and answered it, but was surprised to see Chris instead. “Hey, you!”

“Hey, Dom - I hope you don’t mind me dropping in like this, but I wanted to bring these sticks by.” He handed Dominic a small parcel. “This extra pair should have come with the kit, but were back ordered and only came in today. I’m sorry about the delay.”

“Sweet,” Dominic grinned. “Thanks a lot. You wanna come in?”

“Can’t, gotta get home, but I also wanted to let you know that we’re doing some rebuilding in the shop so we’re gonna be closed down for 3 weeks, so the jam rooms won’t be accessible. I already let James know, it’s pretty cool that he lives so close to you!”

“James?”

“Yeah! The guy who was jamming that first night you were in the shop, James-”

Dominic’s mouth went dry.

“-I had to leave the message with his boyfriend Ian just now, he seems like a nice bloke. I hope he remembers to pass it on.”

Oh, god.

“Anyway, I’m taking the kids and wife on a vacation while the construction is going on, but I’ll see you in a month or so, yeah?”

Dominic nodded, his stomach churning. Chris said his goodbyes, but Dominic merely nodded through them, in an almost zombie-like state as he closed his door. He didn’t know what to do. Matthew’s secret was clearly out now, to the one person he was desperate to keep it from, and Dominic couldn’t see this situation ending well for Matthew.

Chapter Text

Dominic knocked on the door and waited. He rocked back and forth on his feet, arms crossed. At one point, he felt certain that he could hear activity within the flat; he pressed his ear against the door for a better listen.

Silence. Then, footsteps.

Frustration was beginning to get the better of him. One thing was certain, he wasn’t going anywhere until he’d laid eyes on Matthew to make sure he was alright. Matthew clearly wasn’t going to open the door, so Dominic was forced to be patient. He had just begun to wonder if perhaps Matthew simply wasn’t in when he saw a potential solution to his predicament. He peeked up and down the corridor. Seeing that he was practically alone, his steps grew with purpose as he approached the red fire alarm.

He didn’t have to think twice as he pulled the lever, a raucous, shrill alarm cutting into the morning. Dominic stayed a few feet back from Matthew’s door and waited. It didn’t take long before people began filing out into the hall, walking hurriedly with purpose to the lobby. Dominic leaned against the wall, his eyes never leaving Matthew’s door.

Just then, a figure emerged in a hooded sweatshirt, hood pulled tightly down on his head. He kept his eyes down and started walking - until Dominic reached out and grabbed his arm.

Matthew lept back against the wall, holding both hands up over his face as he sank to the floor. It was a pose that he shifted into quite naturally, as though he’d had a lot of practice cowering in fear.

“Wait, no,” Dominic breathed. He realized, too late, that he shouldn’t have touched Matthew the way he just had. “No, no, I’m sorry, let me help you,” he looked up and covered his mouth with his hand. “Oh, Matthew.”

Matthew’s hood had fallen back from his face, revealing a black eye that was swollen shut and an angry cut across one cheekbone. Quickly, he put his hood back up and started walking down the hall.

“Wait! I need to talk to you.”

“There’s a fucking fire alarm,” Matthew pointed out, glaring at Dominic with his good eye.

“No there isn’t,” Dominic blurted out. “You wouldn’t open your door so I activated it to get you out of your flat, so I could make sure you were okay.”

Matthew had stopped walking. He shook his head incredulously and stalked back in the direction of his flat, Dominic hot on his heels. “You are unbelievable. Leave me the fuck alone. Haven’t you done enough?” he asked, one hand on his doorknob.

“Listen, I just want to talk-”

“What do you want to talk about?” Matthew asked suddenly, turning to Dominic. “What do you want from me?”

Dominic was taken aback; he flinched. “I-I don’t want anything, I-”

“No. Let’s talk. Let’s fucking do this. What do you want to talk about? My eye? The blood on my bathroom floor from this cut? The fact that he burned the notebooks with my lyrics in them last night? All but one. Gone.”

Dominic was stunned into silence.

“Come on,” Matthew urged, his voice more angry than Dominic had ever heard it before. “Come on, Dominic, pick a topic. I’ll brew a fucking pot of tea and serve you some crumble and we’ll just hash it out, yeah? If you’re lucky, he’ll come home and find you here and you can watch him punish me for speaking to you. Would you like that? I mean-”

“Stop it,” Dominic whispered.

“-if you’re super lucky, he’ll bruise my other eye. Then we’ll really have something to talk about, won’t we, Dominic? And when we’re done, you can go running to Tom to brief him on poor, pathetic Matthew. About how he’s too much of a pussy to stand up to his partner. About how he’s absolutely ruined his life. About how he’s nothing but a pathetic coward. About…” Matthew burst into sudden tears, both hands covering his face as he sank to the floor. His body shook violently with sobs, his head between his knees, hands on his ankles. “Oh my God, what am I going to do? What am I going to do?”

Dominic knelt next to Matthew, one hand on Matthew’s shoulder. He allowed the other man to continue to cry; it was apparent that Matthew desperately needed to get the stress and anxiety out of his system. The fire alarm had finally subsided, but neither of them had noticed. After a few moments people began to make their way back into the building. Dominic gently eased Matthew up. “Let’s get you inside, yeah? Don’t want anyone else to see you upset.”

Matthew allowed it. He took Matthew’s arm and waited as Matthew unlocked the door. Once inside, he turned to Dominic, dabbing the tears from his good eye. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“Still, I am. You didn’t deserve that. None of this is your fault. It’s every bit my fault.”

“No. It’s Ian’s fault. Surely you are tired of living this way?”

“Of course I’m tired of it. I don’t have a choice.”

“There’s always a choice.”

“It’s not that easy. I don’t have anything of my own. He has the credit cards. All of the money. He gives me a weekly allowance. The car is in his name. He got rid of my mobile. I have nothing with which to start a new life. I have absolutely nothing without him - he’s seen to that.” It was the closest thing to an admission of the truth that Matthew had offered thus far.

“You have me.”

Matthew tried to mask it but Dominic had seen the way his demeanor had shifted slightly at his words.

“I know you felt it too, from the moment I first bumped into you and you ended up with my briefs on your head. If that isn’t a fucking fairytale-style meeting, I don’t know what is.”

Matthew looked at Dominic, not speaking, seemingly not even breathing.

“You’re all I think about, Matthew.”

Matthew remained silent.

“I know you’re frightened. I won’t ask you not to be, but,” he took Matthew’s hands in his own, squeezing them as fresh tears gathered in Matthew’s good eye, “I can help you through it. All you have to do is say the word and we’re out of here. You don’t need to pack anything, all you need to do is take that first step and let me know when you do. I’ll take you far, far away - away from Ian, away from all of this.”

“You barely know me. I might not live up to your expectations.”

Dominic cupped Matthew’s face with his hand, Matthew leaning into his touch. “Is that what he tells you?”

“It’s what I tell myself.”

“How long have you been with him?”

Matthew stepped over to the window, Dominic’s palm instantly mourning the loss of contact. “Five years.”

“And how long has he been abusing you?”

“Four and a half.”

“That’s a long time to live in fear.”

“Yeah,” Matthew whispered.

“Look, I’d love to get to know you better, make no mistake, but right now I just want you away from him. Am I being selfish? Yes, because, my god Matthew,” Dominic exhaled shakily, “you are beautiful and kind and a permanent fixture in my mind. And, I’ve realized something - in three and a half months, I’ve never seen you smile, not once. I want to give you that, I want to make you smile until your face positively aches from it.”

“You just got here and you’re going to pull up ties for me?”

“I’ve not been here long enough to put down ties, not really. Besides, you’re worth it.”

Matthew’s breath hitched in his throat. “How do you know? If I were worth it, surely Ian wouldn’t see fit to treat me the way he does.”

“Ian is an abusive individual, and I won’t claim to know why or how he rationalizes his actions in regards to you. But, I do know that you’re worth it. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. Can you give me one reason to not take me up on this?” Dominic asked, gingerly gifting Matthew’s swollen eye with a feather-light kiss.

“I don’t know.”

“Aren’t you tired of being scared? Of being put in physical danger? Of the constant emotional blackmail?”

“Yes.”

“Then come with me, now. We can be gone before Ian even comes home, and I promise you that you’ll never have to come back.”

“I’m not that brave,” Matthew said, “I’m not sure that I know how to be anymore.”

“There’s no way I’m leaving you alone with him to be hurt again. Please, Matthew-” Dominic trailed off, taking a deep breath. He didn’t want to put more pressure on Matthew than was necessary. It had to be Matthew’s decision and Matthew’s decision alone to walk away from his situation. “I’m sorry. Look, I’ll go now. I don’t mean to pressure you, forgive me.”

“Forgive you? There’s nothing to forgive.”

“I mean it. All you have to do is knock on my door. Okay?” He reached for Matthew’s hand and brought it to his lips, leaving a kiss against Matthew’s knuckles. “I just want you safe.” Dominic went to release Matthew’s hand, but Matthew held on firmly, while staring down at their joined hands for a few seconds before letting go.

Dominic had been back in his flat for about thirty minutes when his doorbell rang. Expecting to see Tom, he was stunned to see Matthew standing there, a notebook in his hand.

“I’m ready,” he whispered, tears running down his cheeks.

* * *

They’d been driving for 7 hours; the clock on the dashboard of Dominic’s car read 1.02 AM. Dominic had no idea where they were.

He didn’t care.

Most of their ride had been smooth so far, Dominic driving, Matthew napping in the passenger seat, and much to Dominic’s horror, occasionally crying out in his sleep, his legs twitching. He wondered what sort of nightmares lived inside Matthew’s psyche, and how long it would take him to be able to finally be shed of them.

Matthew stirred, Dominic reaching for his hand. Matthew turned to Dominic, his bruised eye illuminated by the streetlights, and gripped Dominic’s hand tightly. They rode in silence for few more miles, until Matthew finally spoke.

“He’d stopped kissing me.”

Dominic glanced at Matthew, but didn’t pry, didn’t rush him. If Matthew wanted to get something off his chest, Dominic was here to listen, support and nurture him, but he had absolutely no intention of pressuring him to talk about the things he’d lived through these last few years.

“I can’t remember why, exactly, it was a form of punishment for who knows what - but he began to withhold kisses from me, and that was one of the things I missed the most, at first. Apparently I’d grown accustomed to it because I only realized it when you kissed my eye. That’s the first kiss I’ve received in over two years. Well, that’s not true - he kissed me in the bakery that day but that was strictly for your benefit, to make certain you understood that he owned me. Kisses are a funny thing. They’re simple in physical execution, but have the power and potential to convey feelings that are the textbook definition of complex. I like that dichotomy: a basic act that can elicit earth-shattering emotions.”

Dominic’s heart did a little flip. He liked it also.

“When you kissed my bruised eye there was more emotion in it than any kiss to the lips he ever gave me. It feels like you saved me.”

“No. You saved you. You took that first step - and I’m proud of you.”

“I…I guess I did.”

They found a hotel a couple of hours later and decided to stop to get some sleep. They took turns showering, Dominic giving Matthew some of his clothes to change into. Dominic then dimmed the lights and each of them climbed onto one of the two large beds in the room. His head had barely hit the pillow when he heard Matthew speak.

“Dominic?”

“Hmm?”

“May I lie with you?”

Dominic wanted desperately to say “Yes. My god, yes, because I’ve wanted nothing more than to gather you into my arms since the day I first saw you.” Instead he smiled softly and said “Of course you may.” He turned over, stretching as Matthew laid down beside him.

“Can I hold you?” Dominic whispered.

Matthew didn’t hesitate. He burrowed closer to Dominic, Dominic pulling him into his arms. The two of them sighed and held on to each other as though the existence of everything in space and time depended on it. Dominic buried his nose in Matthew’s hair, his arms caressing Matthew’s back through his t-shirt. He smelled of shampoo, he felt impossibly warm. Nothing had ever felt better than this - to that end, Dominic couldn’t help himself; he dropped a kiss to the top of Matthew’s head. Words, like a sudden spring storm, began to join and form thoughts in his mind, composing things that he wanted to say to Matthew so badly-

My arms were made to hold you.

You don’t have to be afraid anymore.

I love the sound of your voice.

-but he was afraid of overwhelming Matthew. There would be plenty of time, he hoped, for such sentiments to be given a voice. Now all he wanted was for Matthew to have peace and quiet and time to heal, so he was surprised when Matthew spoke softly against his neck.

“You dominated my thoughts, you know.”

“And you dominated mine, so we’re even,” Dominic replied. Matthew looked up at Dominic with an exhausted, yet curious expression.

“I wondered about the little things. 1. What does he like to eat first thing in the morning? 2. What makes him smile? 3. What’s his favorite color? 4. How it would feel to kiss him? Now, I am wondering if you’re even real, if this is a dream and I will wake up soon and be back there, with him.”

Dominic scooted down in the bed so that he was face to face with Matthew. He reached for Matthew’s hand, linking their fingers together. “Let’s see. 1. Waffles. I’m an absolute waffle whore. 2,” he smiled at Matthew, “More than anything, beauty makes me smile.” Dominic couldn’t be sure but he thought that for a moment he saw the corners of Matthew’s mouth turn up slightly. “3. My favorite color is green. As for the kiss, well, the answer to that one is difficult to convey with words, you know?”

“Perhaps there’s another way to convey it.”

It took a mighty effort on his part, but Dominic was able to resist the urge to lean in and kiss Matthew silly until they were both breathless from it. He smoothed back the hair from Matthew’s eyes. “I want to, I won’t lie, but Matthew, you’re so fragile. You’ve been through a horrible ordeal and I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything, I-”

“But, I’m not so fragile that I would break beneath your kiss,” Matthew replied. “Truth be told, I feel like a kiss from you would make my soul absolutely sing for the first time in years, and I don’t want to wait any longer to find out if I’m right.”

Dominic considered his situation. Here he was, sharing a bed with the man he’d spent the better part of the last three months dreaming about and Matthew was asking Dominic to kiss him.

Dominic was only human, you see.

Any reservations he’d been holding fast to began to dissipate when he leaned in and gently pressed his lips to Matthew’s. They both sighed into the kiss, each of them trembling in each other’s arms. Matthew’s lips were impossibly soft and warm, and they felt precisely as perfect beneath Dominic’s own as Dominic had suspected they would. It was a slow, sweet, exploratory kiss, but it shook them both to their cores. They parted, gasping for air, Matthew burying his face in Dominic’s neck again, holding him tighter than he had yet.

“You know,” Dominic began, Matthew looking up at him quizzically, “I have to admit that most of the time I spent thinking about you was spent wondering if and praying that you were safe. There’s so much I want to find out about you.”

“You can ask me anything at all.”

“It’s late, we’re both shattered. Maybe just one question tonight?”

Matthew nodded.

“Boxers or briefs?”

Initially, Matthew blinked, one eyebrow raising before he eventually smiled, chuckling. Dominic giggled, watching as Matthew dragged one hand over his tired face while shaking his head with a wry laugh. He looked up at Dominic and said, softly:

“Neither.”

The smile left Dominic’s face, his mouth forming an ‘o’. His reaction made Matthew smile even wider, and Dominic reckoned that it was indeed a sight to behold. There it was, the smile that Dominic had been so very eager to experience.

“Maybe some more questions tomorrow, yeah?”

Dominic nodded, giggling. “We’ve got plenty of time for that now, don’t we? I mean… if you want, that is?”

“I want,” Matthew affirmed. He scanned Dominic’s face with his good eye, Dominic shivering when Matthew traced his cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. “Believe me, I want.” Suddenly, Matthew frowned for a beat.

Dominic spotted it and bit his lip. “What’s wrong?”

“I just… our first kiss, and I look like,” he gestured to his swollen eye, “this.”

He looked down at Matthew and shook his head gently, anger simmering in his heart. He literally couldn’t understand how anyone could willfully hurt such a gentle creature. “You look like the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen,” he whispered.

Matthew yawned and blushed at the same time, and the sight made Dominic smile. He pulled Matthew closer, reveling in his warmth. “Do you think you’ll be able to sleep tonight?”

A dark mop of hair nodded against his chest. “I think so - as long as you don’t let me go.”

Dominic knew, in that moment, that he never would.

“Thank you, Dominic.”

“For what?”

“You made my soul sing again.”

Chapter Text

(One month later)

 

They spent their days driving. Years later, Dominic would look back on these days and lovingly refer to them as their Epic Road Trip. They took turns at the wheel, stopping in random towns to experience the local scenes and drink in the culture.

It had taken some coaxing, but Dominic had finally been able to convince Matthew to, at least for the time being, let Dominic bear the monetary responsibility for their adventure. Matthew had listened, fascinated, as Dominic told him of his late uncle and the fortune that he'd inherited in the wake of his passing. He'd marveled more than once to himself that if anyone deserved a life without financial stress, it was Dominic. Matthew reckoned that he was the closest thing to an actual angel walking the face of the planet. Beautiful, kind, and full of impossible grace, Matthew thanked a higher being that he wasn't certain he even believed in for bringing Dominic into his life.

"We'll have to stop driving eventually, won't we?" Matthew asked one night as they passed through yet another set of city streets.

"Yes, eventually."

"What will we do then?"

"If I'm very lucky, we'll spend the days together."

At that, Matthew had blushed, smiling.

Dominic, until he met Matthew, had next to no experience in interacting with anyone who had been part of an abusive relationship. It was an education. It showed itself in the little things; in the way any unexpected loud noise made Matthew jump, in the way he would automatically hold doors for Dominic, and open car doors also. It became increasingly clear to Dominic that, with Ian, Matthew was forced to walk a very fine line in regards to his behavior, which namely involved Matthew playing a passive, subservient role in the relationship. It also became increasingly clear that it was a habit that Matthew was going to find difficult to break. Whenever they went out for meals, Matthew marveled at being able to order whatever he wished. Dominic, out of genuine curiosity, commented on it one morning over breakfast.

“It must seem like madness to you.”

“No, I just… I just want to understand, or try to.”

Matthew nodded. “I know. I appreciate that. He always ordered for me. Always."

"But, why?"

"It was another way to control me. If I even made eye contact with the wait staff, it would earn me some sort of punishment when we got home. Sometimes, he would order me something that he knew I didn’t like simply because he could do so."

Sometimes, at the most random of moments, they would be walking and Matthew would suddenly turn around and scan the people around them. Eventually, Dominic learned that it was out of simple fear that perhaps, somehow, Ian would be there, like a monster out of a nightmare. This realization led Dominic to place a call to Tom, partly to put himself at ease, but mostly to put Matthew at ease. Aside from a rushed phone call the night they left, Dominic hadn't made any other contact with Tom, for his safety as well as their own.

It was an eye-opening conversation.

According to Tom, Ian had showed up at his apartment the night that Dominic and Matthew left, screaming obscenities and threats at him. A mutual neighbor, who happened to be a police officer, had been unlocking his door during the encounter. He'd approached them and informed Ian that it would be in his best interests to stop levying threats against Tom.

"I don't know what would have happened if Seth hadn't intervened," Tom had confessed, "but I think Ian knew that he'd said too much, because that was the only time he came to my apartment. Thing is, Dom, he's already got someone new. You two hadn't been gone more than a week when I noticed him with another man."

"Another man? He needs to be warned."

"Seth and I are on it. By the way, everything is packed up, the kit and everything - just let me know where to have it shipped to when you get settled, yeah?"

"Thank you for everything, Tom."

"Don't thank me, just be happy, both of you."

Some nights, they watched old movies in their hotel room.

Most nights, they shared a bed.

Every night, they would share a kiss, but every night, they wanted more.

Neither of them knew quite how to act on what they wanted. Dominic was terrified of putting too much pressure on Matthew. Matthew had other, very specific reasons for not taking their physical relationship beyond the occasional kissing session.

On a particular rainy night, they'd had dinner at a Thai restaurant and had taken in a local production of The Tempest. It was the first night that Matthew had, at least in Dominic's opinion, began to emerge from his shell a bit. He was unusually talkative at dinner, and Dominic had beamed when he'd laced his fingers through Dominic's own as they'd walked down the street together. Dominic had never seen Matthew so alive, so demonstrative; something simply radiated from him that had been, until that night, locked away inside of him. As they left the theater, Matthew spoke of acting and music and the purity of using such mediums to express oneself with a fervency and intelligence that left Dominic mesmerised.

When they returned to their room, they went about their normal routine, taking turns showering before bed. Dominic emerged from the bathroom to find Matthew seated at the small desk in the corner, scribbling in the new, red leather-bound journal Dominic had bought for him a few days earlier. Dominic sat down on the bed, still towel-drying his hair.

"It makes me happy to see you writing."

"It makes me happy to
writing." He switched off the tiny desk lamp and stood up. “I’m looking forward to starting over.”

"What else are you looking forward to?" Dominic yawned as he pulled the duvet back from the bed. They climbed in together.

"Quite a few things."

"Such as?"

"Listening to the rain against the window. Lying here with you. Kissing you goodnight."

Dominic was taken aback for a moment; Matthew had never been this direct with him before.

He liked it.

"Yeah?"

Matthew nodded, the two of them lying face to face.

"What else?" Dominic asked.

"Holding your hand. Waking up next to you. Learning how to make waffles just for you."

"Yeah? You'd do that for me?"

“You’ve done so much more for me. But, you should in
get excited about that prospect because I’m completely useless when it comes to cooking.”

“I can’t believe you’re useless, ever.”

“The things you say...it’s so different with you,” Matthew said softly. He reached out, pressing his hand flat against Dominic’s heart, his palm framing the thundering heartbeat beneath it.

Dominic didn’t speak. He was more than content to listen to what Matthew had to say. He covered Matthew’s hand with his own, Matthew scooting closer.

“To come from where I was to this… to this much positivity and acceptance, it’s just, it’s so different. It’s brand new. You don’t berate me at every turn. You don’t try to stifle me. You aren’t continually trying to change me. It’s like, finally, I can be the man I am, that I’ve always been, without that resulting in negative consequences.”

Dominic gently nuzzled up to Matthew, their noses touching. “I very much like the man that you are.”

“I like you too,” Matthew whispered.

Dominic’s hand was resting on Matthew’s side; he slowly slid it beneath Matthew’s shirt, caressing his waist. Matthew winced visibly and pulled away.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

 

"No, no, it's fine. I just... my body is... a part of me is ashamed for you to see it."

"You know that you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do-"

"No, that's just it. I wantyou. I mean," he looked at Dominic, "how could I not? You're beyond compare."

At Matthew's compliment, Dominic blushed deeply.

"I just want you to be prepared."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't be shocked. These last few months, they were... they were bad," Matthew said quietly. "The worst." He pulled the thin tee over his head and cast it aside.

Dominic's stomach dropped; his mouth dropped open in shock before he could will it not to.

What nature had forged to be a porcelain, smooth, torso had been irrevocably marred. Dominic scanned Matthew's chest. A cursory glance revealed so many scars that he couldn't even count them in a passing glance. Some were angry. Some were slight. The only similarity they shared was that they were carefully delivered with precision - Ian had seen to that - in that none of them were visible unless Matthew were shirtless. A particularly stark scar curved just beneath Matthew's left nipple. Dominic, unable to stop himself, leaned in to examine it closer.

"That one required stitches He told them I fell into a glass cabinet."

"Matthew," he breathed, "I just...wait..." Dominic's fingertips caressed Matthew's lower back, "what is this on your waist? It looks like-"

"Cigarette burns."

Dominic jumped up suddenly, walking to the window of their room, gritting his teeth. He took a deep breath as he stared down at the city lights, at the people milling about, at the rain. The anger he'd felt for so long at Ian morphed into full-on rage when he laid eyes on the series of small burns on Matthew's waist. Dominic felt certain that if he were to encounter Ian in this moment he could willfully choke the life from him. He shook his head and turned back to Matthew, who was still sitting up on the bed, now chewing on his thumbnail, a bed sheet draped around his torso.

Dominic melted. He climbed back into bed and reached for Matthew's hand, laying a kiss against his palm. Slowly, he unwrapped Matthew from the cocoon of the bedsheet. “Don’t ever feel that you need to cover yourself in front of me. I want to see you.”

Matthew looked into his eyes. "Say what's on your mind. Please. Honesty is important to me."

"I want him dead," Dominic said softly, his lips still lingering against Matthew’s opened palm.

Matthew's breath hitched in his throat.

"I see this, the physical manifestation of his selfish, hateful soul, and, God help me, in this moment, I want to hurt him like he's hurt you. He... he was torturing you. Torturing you."

Matthew looked away.

"But," Dominic scooted closer, pressing a kiss to Matthew's bare shoulder, "then I remember that he's not worth that. He's not worth my anger or my hate. He's... nothing. He's inconsequential; an aberration, and I am thankful that he is out of your life. He can't hurt you again."

"This," Matthew gestured at his body, "...it doesn't repulse you?"

"Absolutely not. I look at you like this and I want you so much that I can't see straight." Dominic gently dragged his thumb over one of the cigarette burn scars. "I wish that I could press a kiss to each and every wound, that doing so could somehow make each one disappear - not because I find them repulsive, but because I hate that they remind you of him." He looked up and into Matthew's eyes. "I might do it, all the same. I just want to be that close to you." He sat up, pulling Matthew into his arms, brushing the hair from his brow.

"That would take a lot of kisses," Matthew whispered; he wondered if Dominic could see that he was trembling. "We'd have to stay in this bed for the foreseeable future."

Dominic cocked his head to one side and squinted. He chuckled, and Matthew instantly fell in love with the way his eyes danced when he smiled. "That's a horrible argument, you know."

"I was counting on that."

Dominic started by pressing a kiss against the scar beneath Matthew's nipple. He took his time, but made good on his offer to lavish attention onto every single scar on Matthew’s body. As he was finishing, Matthew interrupted the silence.

"Dom?"

"Yes?"

“Touch me."

“I
touching you.”

“Touch me everywhere,” Matthew said quietly, “and don’t ever stop.”

“O-oh.”

“Am I being too forward?”

“Of course not.”

“It's been so long since anyone’s truly wanted me. I wasn’t sure anyone would want me ever again.”

Dominic, still lapping gently at Matthew's nipple, froze as he let the significance of what Matthew had just said wash over him. Knowing that Matthew had, for who knows how long, had been carrying that sort of hopelessness around broke Dominic’s heart.

“Then, one day, fate directed you to my building,” Matthew continued, “and, now, my life is suddenly rich with possibility instead of misery. I don’t want to wait a minute longer to start taking indulging in that. God, I’m talking too much, I’m sorry.”

Dominic lifted his head. “No apologies. Ever.” He crawled up Matthew's body and kissed him, Matthew's hands carding through his hair. He pulled back and licked his lips, looking Matthew in the eyes. Dominic couldn't bear to tear his gaze away from what lay before him. Matthew looked wild and impossibly handsome lying beneath him against a soft white pillow.

“Listen to me, love,” he whispered, his lips hovering above Matthew’s. “I mean… Matthew.”

“No. Call me love.”

"I’ve been waiting for you for ages.. I am going to make it my life’s mission to ensure that you never feel unwanted or unworthy again. I will always want you, love.
."

“Scars and all?”

“I don’t see scars. I see you.”

“It might take some time for me to… I don’t know-.”

“Time is the one thing we have plenty of.”

Even though he and Dominic were in the infancy of their relationship, Matthew believed him.

Dominic leaned in for another slow, deep kiss, his pulse speeding up as he sensed the unmistakable motion of Matthew lifting his lips to slowly push his pajama bottoms down his legs. Dominic burrowed his face in Matthew's neck and squeezed his eyes closed, silently willing himself to calm down as the realization that he was now in bed with a very naked Matthew hit him. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as he felt Matthew gently kick the offending garment to the floor.

The moment he felt the physical evidence of Matthew's arousal, thick and hot against his waist, he bit his lip.

“Hey,” he heard Matthew whisper. “It’s okay. I promise.”

Dominic slowly opened his eyes, taking a good, long look at Matthew. "Christ, you're beautiful," he murmured. "Completely fucking beautiful."

“...me?” Matthew breathed softly. He asked the question out of a pure sense of disbelief, nothing more. He wasn’t fishing for compliments.

“You,” Dominic breathed, sliding down Matthew’s body to taste him more intimately. He smirked to himself when Matthew moaned loudly and writhed beneath him.

Matthew couldn’t keep his eyes open, yet he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the sight of Dominic’s lips wrapped around his cock. Sensation, physical as well as emotional, washed over him in waves that increased in intensity the deeper Dominic took him. Wet, raw heat spread throughout his entire body, to the point that he was nearly manic with it. His hands alternated between gripping the bedsheets and Dominic’s hair.

He wanted, more than anything, to last as long as possible, but when he spotted Dominic’s hand working furiously between his own legs, Matthew lost the will to hold back. His orgasm shook him to his very core, as did the sight of Dominic rolling onto his back, frantically bringing himself to his own completion.

After, they found themselves face-to-face, tangled in each other's arms, both still breathing heavily. Matthew leaned in and initiated a kiss, which turned into a series of kisses that took Dominic’s breath away.

Out of nowhere, Matthew began to giggle.

The sound was so infectious that Dominic began to laugh as well. “What’s so funny?”

Matthew stretched, still chuckling. “I was just thinking. We made a mess on these sheets, but it’s only gonna get worse because we gotta go again. I barely got to touch you and that just won’t do.” He rolled on top of Dominic, pressing soft, wet kisses to his neck. Dominic’s arms wrapped instinctively around Matthew, holding him tightly. He arched his back and closed his eyes, unwilling to let Matthew go.

Life, more often than not, takes us on unexpected journeys.

Dominic was thankful that he and Matthew got the opportunity to take theirs together.

(end)