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Chapter Text

Hizashi had forgotten his headphones in his gym locker, and given the frequency of his tinnitus today he desperately needed them. He didn't need some headache to be bringing down his mood. He was a UA student and he had too much to do if he wanted to reach his goal of being a pro. Speaking of, he had a Podcast he had to get to. Absorbed in his thoughts he came around the corner to his line of lockers and came on a sight that stopped him in his tracks. Aizawa Shouta’s back was turned to him, his head was bowed on his shoulders as he wrapped a long bandage around his torso. His buddy Sho was quiet one that’s for sure, the guy was shy and liked to be alone, and was always the last one in after gym class. "Hey man, go too hard in the gym?" He asked him cheerful as ever.

There was very little that Shouta wanted for himself. To his parents he had mostly been an afterthought to their careers. Growing up with no one around to give a shit about anything you did didn't lead to having high expectations or even standards. He wanted two things really. To be himself, his real self, and to keep his friends. It wasn't a lot to ask for most people, but most people weren't the very specific kind of freak he was. When he heard Hizashi's voice Shouta's entire body froze and his eyes went wide. No. Fuck no. This was exactly what he was afraid of. He snapped to life, grabbing his shirt and clutching it to his chest as he looked over at Hizashi with terrified eyes.

A hot tingling feeling came over Hizashi at Shouta’s behavior, he knew that behavior. He'd had to hide abuse from his Quirk homes on more than one occasion. "Sho- what's up with the wraps?" His voice was uncharacteristically monotone.

His heart pounded in his chest as he backed away, feet tripping over air in his panic. "It's..." He couldn't make his mouth work right. Couldn't say the words that would ruin everything. He shook his head and tried to yank on his shirt without letting the bandages unravel. It wasn't the most successful, but he could fix them when he got away. When he didn't have to tell Hizashi what he was. Fuck.

"Oh!" Hizashi gasped, spinning on his heel when he caught sight of the bottom of his breast pressed flat by the bandages. Holy shit. He would have never known. "Sorry! I forgot my headphones," he called back over his shoulder. So. Shouta wasn't shy, he was trans and didn't want anyone to know. Right. His world tilted a little, but it was swift to fix itself, and in the end the information changed… nothing.

Shouta grabbed his things and bolted, tearing around the corner and out of the locker room before he could be stopped. He just couldn't deal with being here right now. He couldn't be here while it sank in and Hizashi started to hate him. So he just ran. Anywhere that wasn't there.

"Wait Sho!" Hizashi yelled after his friend, nearly activating his quirk in panic. Oh, shit, fuck, no. Damn it! Clearly Shouta had the wrong idea. With a frustrated huff he opened his locker and grabbed his head phones. He'd just have to get Shouta to talk to him. This was going to be like pulling teeth...
Over the next few weeks, no matter what Hizashi did, he couldn't get the guy to talk to him. It kinda hurt, but he got it, honestly. Being queer in a Quirk home wasn't a piece of cake either, he understood the need to hide. He made a little bit of money with some of his side gigs, usually he used it for decent food and clothes so he could keep up appearances. And while it meant giving up on new shoes for the semester, he wanted to get Shouta a gift to prove he was on his side. How Hizashi not breathing a word didn't work, was a question, but still. Finally after a month he caught him going to the roof to be alone. Grabbing the slim box, he dashed up the stairs to find him. "Hey, you are a slippery shit, you know that?" Hizashi laughed to announce himself.

Shouta spent the next month absolutely convinced that his secret would end up common knowledge. Every day he got to school and the terror sank into his muscles until the end of the day when he went home and knew he didn't have to worry about attention of any kind. When Hizashi finally approached him on the roof he had a fleeting thought of throwing himself over the ledge. But he wasn't actually suicidal, just scared: so he braved looking over so they could get this over with. "I wanted to be alone."

"Yeah, I kinda got that. So listen up, Listener. I know you're freaked out but, dude, seriously. Don't be. I have no intentions of telling anyone and it doesn't change anything, okay?" Hizashi demanded, leaning in and forcing the shorter boy to meet his eyes for a moment. "I got you something. Using wraps like that is horrible for your muscles," he tacked on holding out the slim box.

Every word felt like more of a surprise than the last. His eyes darted from Hizashi's face to the box he held out. Cautiously he took the box, looking back up at his face before settling on the box to open it. When he saw what was inside he made an almost wounded noise. "You... you got me a binder?"

"Yeah, pretty sure it's the right size. The inner lining is moisture wicking cotton, the design is seamless so it won't be visible under your regular shirts, Oh! And the shoulder straps are a bit wider than most, keeps strain off your neck!" Hizashi babbled the features of the (more expensive than he cared to admit) binder, and tried to ignore what the wounded noise Shouta had just made did to him.

He stared at the binder as Hizashi told him about it. Tears welled up in his eyes and for the first time in his life he felt like he was being seen as his real self. He looked up at Hizashi, pulling the binder tight to his chest. "Thank you."

Hizashi's babbling stopped when he saw tears, the genuine gratitude he saw killed him. Turning a touch red around the ears, he had to scratch the back of his head. "Anytime, man. I just wanted you to know I support you, ya know."

Shouta rubbed at his eyes, trying to stem the tears. "It means a lot." He sniffed hard and finally forced the tears to stop. "I was afraid you weren't going to want to be my friend anymore. I'm sorry I panicked."

"Pft, take way more than that to get rid of me. No, I get it actually. I'm... well I'm not sure what I am yet, but it's definitely not straight. I also don't really think I'm strictly male, but Quirk homes aren't really a good place to explore that, ya dig," Hizashi shrugged his shoulders a little, feeling exposed, but for once safe. Safe with Shouta.

A thousand knots unwound in Shouta's shoulders. Oh. He didn't just still have a friend. He had a friend who was like him and understood. "That sounds rough. But you can talk to me about it. I'm still figuring some things out and... it might be better to do some of that together."

Hizashi puffed out a breath of relief, his oversized lungs shrinking in his chest. "I'm going to take you up on that. Hey, you know, we should start eating lunch up here!" He threw his arms wide, fully his bright self again.

Shouta couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. It's quiet up here. I like it." And they could both feel safe talking about anything and everything.

Chapter Text

It wasn't long after that that Oboro joined them, making their duo a trio. It took a while, but soon they told him their secrets and he told them his. Turned out queer birds flock together. For a while things started to really look up. Shouta even seemed to start to come out of his shell. Then Kayama had found them on the roof with Sushi, and while they had always been friendly with the older student, she filled out their trio making them a quad.
And then they lost Oboro. Everything didn't fall apart so much as fall over. The upward trajectory of their relationship fell back to the side, and stayed there. Shouta drew in on himself and Hizashi tried his best to be there for him. To keep him from self harm and from phoning in life entirely. He understood, Shouta was a different breed of person, so he gave him his room. They were still close, they just weren't getting closer anymore. And honestly, Hizashi was fine with it for now. Losing Oboro took its toll on him too. He could stand to wait; and it had been the look on his face when he'd given Shouta the binder that had solidified to Hizashi that he would wait for Shouta until the end of time. Still there were times it bugged him. Like when he used his quirk and ditched him right after graduation. 'Dude, next time just say no lmao' He'd texted, knowing full well Shouta knew full well that it wouldn't have worked on Hizashi.
They still texted regularly, and he saw him every few months as he started his college career. He knew most people went straight for Hero work, but he was Present Mic. He could do college, pro work, radio, and his podcasts. Whether he had slept in a month was none of your damn business alright. Well, actually, a lot of it had to do with missing Shouta and trying to fill the time between hearing from him.

Losing Oboro had shattered them both. While Hizashi found comfort in being together, it was a sharp pain for Shouta when they spent too much time in the same room. There was always the feeling that Oboro would show up to complete their trio when they were together and he couldn't take the stab to his heart every time he remembered it wouldn't happen. But Hizashi was Hizashi. The first person who had accepted Shouta fully and the person he trusted more than anyone else in the world. Not to mention a deep love that he couldn't and didn't want to shake that they had been steadily navigating before everything.
So Shouta put in the effort to keep in contact and not let their friendship fade. He could only handle seeing him in person every few months, but he would admit that when he started to heal he was more than glad that he had made the effort to keep texting through the pain. The contact started being his best comfort instead of pain and he hoped that it was the same for Hizashi. It made it a lot easier and more comfortable to contact him when he finally had the opportunity to get the surgery he had been desperate for since he had hit puberty. There was no one else he wanted to be there with him for this so he called Hizashi.

"Onomatopoeia!" Hizashi answered the phone suddenly in slurred voice. He had passed out over his term paper and the phone vibrating on his desk had triggered some sort of sleeping in class panic response. "Wha-" came the distorted sound of his voice as he pulled his phone away from his face to check the contact. "Sho! Hey! Nice surprise. How's it going?"

Shouta couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. Hizashi was a mess, but it had generally been more endearing than annoying. "Hey. I wanted to see you. I need to ask for a favor."

"Yeah, man, anytime," Hisashi replied, stretching back in his desk chair, free arm making a long arch over his head. "Are you in town? I'm in the same building, but I moved over to a studio last month."

"I am. Give me the number and I'll be there soon." He needed to do it now before he lost the nerve for the night.

"513, I'll put some ramen on," Hizashi smiled, wide awake now and very happy at the idea of seeing him. "See you in a bit." He let him go and went to set up food for them. He tossed on Yohio to play, at the designated volume, from his bluetooth speaker.

Shouta used the trip over to work out his nerves. He wasn't really nervous about the conversation, Hizashi would support him, but about something so desperately wanted to become real. He found himself at the door well before he realized it was happening. One long breath before he knocked on it.

Each and every time they saw each other, it was different. Each time Shouta was different, he looked a bit more like the man he was, facial structure hardened, taller, the muscles, and, oh gods, the stubble. Every time it made Hizashi's heart race. But it wasn't just the things his changing appearance did to Hizashi that got to Hizashi, oh no. It was what it was doing to Shouta, he just seemed to fit in his skin, affording him a growing confidence he had never seen in him before.
He was never the same either, he always had another tattoo or piercing, he had just finished off his ear piercings with his industrial in his left ear, and he was quite proud. So when the knock came, he nearly burnt his thumb in excitement to get to it. "SHO!" he exclaimed, throwing the door open and dragging him into a tight embrace.

Shouta closed his eyes and hugged him back. It always felt like coming home. And this time, for the first time in years, it didn't hurt to hold his best friend. "Hey." He sighed and pulled back to look him over. "More piercings?"

"What, I got an A on my last paper, I had to celebrate!" Hizashi laughed brightly, slinging his arm over Shouta shoulders as he led him into the studio. It was tiny, but he was able to be blessedly alone when he needed to be. He had a small katasu to one side near his bed, the other side of his living space was set up as a tiny makeshift studio for his podcasts and recording, the rest was your standard studio apartment. "The ramen should be done here in a minute."

"Thanks. I forgot to eat again." He admitted as he took off his coat. "Aside from grades and new holes in your body, how are you doing?"

"I've been good! Real busy, the number of appearance requests keep coming and I have a hard time saying no, ya dig," he laughed as he led Shouta over to the little bar in front of the kitchenette where he could sit. "You want something to drink?"

"Whatever you have." He sat at the bar and smiled at him. "I'm glad you're doing well. Sorry it's been so long since I visited."

Hizashi waved his free hand in the air over the fridge door as he leaned in. "Nah man, It's cool. Honestly, I needed to study more than I thought this semester," he laughed, coming back with two cans of soda and handing him one. Setting his own on the counter, he moved to check their ramen.

Shouta took it and opened it to sip. "Well, you might get a little sick of me being around in the next couple of months if you agree to the favor I'm going to ask."

Hizashi's attention whipped back to the man behind him, "The answer was yes already, but now it's emphatic! What is it, what's up?"

He gave him a small smile. "I scheduled my top surgery. I need someone to keep an eye on me for a couple of weeks while the wounds are fresh. And then, well, I could use the company for the rest of the healing." He could use the support while his chest looked mangled and not right.

Hizashi's eyes popped wide.
He took a breath.

Shit, Shouta had time to think.

And before he used the brain cell he had left to stop himself both his fists were in the air.
"YEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Shouta smiled at him and only winced a little as he shook his head. "Thanks, Hizashi. I appreciate it."

"Yeah Ma-" before he could finish his sentence, bagging came from three directions. Above them, to the right, and from below. Hizashi gave a sheepish smile. "Damn that's 150 bucks this time," he chuckled and then shouted just loud enough for the neighbors to hear. "Sorry guys!" There was another round of thumping. Laughing he picked his drink up and clapped Shouta on the shoulder. "Of course, I would be happy to help you heal."

He grinned. "So now you have to bribe people when that happens? Because that's hilarious."

"It's an agreement, to keep me from getting kicked out. I owe $50 to any of my immediate neighbors who are in at the time whenever it happens,” Hizashi laughed. "When is the surgery?"

"Friday. I have to be there at 6am." He tugged on his sleeve. "You don't have to stay during. I just need you to pick me up."

"Like where else am I going to be?" Hizashi gave a laugh and turned back to finally set up their bowls of food.

Shouta ducked his head and smiled. "Thanks. I just don't want you to feel obligated."

"Not even a little bit! It honestly makes me really happy that you came to me," Hizashi smiled an honest little smile.

Shouta felt his chest warm. Hizashi had always been this for him. The place and person who made him feel real and alive in a way he couldn't anywhere else. "Where else would I go?"

"I mean, there is always Nemuri," Hizashi teased with a grin as he picked up a bite of his ramen.

"No. Just... no." He laughed. "I'd probably kill her within a few days. It's always been you that I think of when it comes to this stuff."

Hizashi's smile softened in a way it only did for Shouta, "And I'll always be here for it, got it?"

Shouta's heart thumped happily at that smile. God, would he ever not ache to kiss him when he was like this? But this was definitely not that moment, if that moment even existed. "I know. Thank you."

"Nothing to thank," Hizashi smiled back at him. "You must be crazy fucking nervous."

"I am." He let out a long breath. "But I've wanted this since I was eleven. So I'm excited too and I'm focusing on that."

Hizashi nodded his understanding, Shouta had really had a lot of struggle with his body. "A friend of mine here on campus just got her top done. She said she hasn't been able to stop balling every time she looks down since.”

Shouta smiled. "That's what I'm hoping for. I'm not even worried about scars; I just can't wait to see my body look how it's always felt like it should look."

"I wish I could say I understand for solidarity's sake, but that one I really don't," Hizashi replied laughing a little at himself.

"I'm glad you don't. It... Being trans isn't all suffering and dysphoria, but when it is it's almost more than I can stand. I'm glad that it's something you don't have to fight with." Shouta shrugged and just pushed his ramen around to cool it. Mostly to do something with his fingers.

Hizashi melted, Shouta never looked at him when he revealed a fundamental self truth, or exposed a vulnerable side to him. It was like saying the words took all the ability to make eye contact out of him. Given his quirk, it was one of the things Hizashi had fallen in love with. "Fair enough, and it ain't like my own thing is getting any less confusing in it's own ways," he laughed softly. "To the struggles of the Queer," he rose his soda can.

Shouta grinned and finally looked over as he lifted his own can. "Yeah, I'll drink to that."

Hizashi clinked cans with him. "Did you bring your shit with you, you are staying here right?"

"I've just got the backpack, but yeah. I was hoping that was okay. I was planning on a hotel if you didn't have the time to help." He shrugged and sipped his drink.

"Pft, no, I just need to tell my manager you're staying for a bit. And I can rearrange some shit, no big," Hizashi promised him and bit his egg in half. Well, he was going to really irritate some people and his rating might drop some, but that was all secondary. Everything took a back seat for Shouta.

He smiled at Hizashi. "Thanks. I wouldn't really want to be anywhere else while I'm healing." He finally felt his stomach calm enough to start eating his own ramen.

Hizashi smiled, it always took Shouta a different amount of time to actually settle when he did show up. But when he did he could always see it, and wasn't everything Hizashi wanted out of life sometimes. Okay yeah, he wanted to be a pro, but that was different. "Tell me where you've been, man. It's been a while since I had an update."

Shouta shrugged. "Mostly on my own. Hero work is a lot different when you're on your own." He told him a bit about his work and what he'd been doing in his down time. It made him realize he kind of wanted to be closer to where Hizashi was. To actually have someone who got him around when he had time to relax.

Hizashi listened with the intensity of a man trying to memorize every word being spoken. He always wanted to know how Shouta was when he was away. He personally wouldn't have been able to handle being alone constantly, and he was always high-key actually really stressed out about him being alone like that. But, Shouta was his own man, and there was no way Hizashi was going to stand in his way. He was much happier cheering him on.
Hizashi took his turn telling Shouta what he had been up to. He was working with the college radio station, running the podcast he'd started back in school still, he was making appearances, he was doing official occasional solo hero work, and he was on his way to finishing his classes. He was a tired, tired boi.

Shouta loved listening to him. It was always engrossing in a way that he was pretty sure had to do with being in love with him. But that was a no today. "You're way more together than I am. How are you the one with his shit together?"

"HA! Man I'm just a slave to my ADHD," Hizashi replied, tossing his hands up in a, ‘what can you do?’ gesture. "I got too many goals and not enough hours to sleep, ya dig?"

Shouta chuckled. "I guess that's fair. You still have more of a life than I do at the moment. I'm kind of all work and very little play." Because it was easier. But he was starting to think that maybe he could handle more.

"Honestly, some down time will be kinda nice," he admitted, rocking the bar stool back on two legs, putting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes as he popped his neck. It caused his slightly too small sweater to ride up, revealing that he was still wearing the belly barbell Shouta had sent for his birthday. A little black rhinestone microphone hanging off the end. "Especially spending it with my besty," he grinned. "I'll have to grab a bed roll to sleep on while you heal on my bed. Or maybe I'll just get another mattress, not that I have anything to do with another one after you leave, but whatever," he shrugged.

Shouta was incredibly distracted by the strip of skin and the fact that he was wearing Shouta's gift for a moment. And then he frowned over at him. "Your bed is big enough for two. It would be a waste of money to get another mattress. A bed roll while I'm too sore to share space should be enough." Because fuck if he was going to give up on a chance to spend time as close to Hizashi as the other man would allow.

Hizashi felt like his heart do a back flip, flop down into his belly and rebound back into place only to stutter. Shouta wanted to share his bed. To sleep, which was just... so much more... he had to fight the blush, and since college he'd actually gotten pretty good at fighting his fair complexion foe. And thank fuck his ear had just been pierced, because they were already red. But damn if the added throbbing didn't near make him cry. "You're right, and I think I even have one at Kayama's place."

He nodded and finished his ramen. "Good. I don't want you to waste money like that because I'm here. And it isn't like we've never been that close before. You're one of the few people I don't mind touching me." He picked up his drink rather than looking at Hizashi directly. He knew how that sounded, and it was true that way too, but he wasn't really ready to face Hizashi and confirm it. Maybe when his body felt less foreign.

If Hizashi had had normal human sized lungs he might not have been able to breathe, as it was the squeeze in his chest that made his vision swim. Boy was going to fucking kill him one of these days! "Dude it's an honor that you feel that way," he replied, not able to look at him either for just a moment. Freaking complicated emotions.

Shouta smiled into his drink. "I'm glad you feel that way. Anyway, do you want me to stay somewhere else until the surgery to give you time to set things up?"

"Pft, like hell," Hizashi laughed in response. The fact that he could even think Hizashi felt the need to change things to make room for him was hilarious. He always had room for Shouta.

Shouta smiled warmly. "In that case, I'm exhausted. Do you mind if I lie down?"

"Nah, man, go for it, I'll just clean up and finish work on my paper for a bit," Hizashi smiled at him, "Make yourself at home." because as far as he was concerned it was.

Shouta nodded. "Thanks." He got up and grabbed his bag to go change. He came back in pajamas and flopped on one side of the bed with a sigh.

Hizashi washed out the dishes quickly and was back at his katasu behind his laptop, one hand turning the page of a book while the other picked up his headphones. "Sleep well, Sho."

He hummed in acknowledgment and let himself sleep. It was the deepest sleep he'd had in a while now.

Hizashi didn't actually manage to get to sleep that night. He had made the poor choice of checking his calendar to see what he was going to have to rearrange before he started working on his computer again. It took a good three hours drafting up and sending emails for rescheduling and to ask his professors respectfully for the chance to finish the semester out of class. He was a damn near straight A student with a stellar reputation, he was sure it would be fine. But if it were going to work with his English professor he had to finish his term paper that night. The man needed to be impressed.

Shouta refused to acknowledge that he was disappointed that he'd woken up without Hizashi next to him. He didn't get to feel that way. Not yet. He sat up and looked to where he could hear typing. "You already up, or still up?"

"Still up, and I gotta get ready for my morning show, but I spent the night getting stuff done, so," he shrugged his shoulder and scratched the side of his head with his chipped black nails. "Can you get me one of the espressos out of the fridge?" He asked him all the while at least one hand clattering away on the keyboard.

Shouta had seen him like this before, but never quite to this degree. It was a bit worrying, but also incredibly hot. He got out of bed and ran his fingers through his hair as he went to the fridge. "Anything else?"

"Sorry, what was that," he asked looking up, with Shouta's back to him the words had garbled in his busted up ears.

Shouta frowned but repeated himself. "Anything else?" He hadn't thought he'd mumbled.

"Oh. Actually yeah. There are some mochi on the top shelf, good enough breakfast for me," Hizashi ginned back at him.

"Okay." He nodded and went to get him what he'd asked for. He came back, set them beside him, and sat down with his own mochi. "You need to work much longer?"

Hizashi bit a mochi in half and spoke around it as he chewed. "Nope, just finishing up the sources."

"Do you need to turn things in? Or is that online?" He asked as he nibbled at the sweet. "I'm just wondering when you'll have time to hang out." He had missed him desperately.

"I've got a few classes I can't miss today and tomorrow, but it's all good because it will give me the chance to speak to the professors in person about doing the rest of the semester online," Hizashi replied. "I also have a radio appearance the week after next I really don't want to miss. I've been trying to get on this guys show for a year now.”

Shouta nodded easily. "I'll be able to entertain myself. I don't want to crowd you before I'm even laid up anyway."

Hizashi gave him a bright laugh, "bro, like that is even possible."

He snorted and shook his head. "We'll see."

Hizashi laughed and stretched his arms up over his head, "Exactly." He smirked and finally got up stretching out his muscles fully, stiff from sitting at the katasu all night. "I need to take a shower and get on the road," he yawned widely.

Shouta nodded. "I'll be here. Probably reading." He scratched the back of his neck and did some stretching of his own. Ugh. He couldn't wait until the way his body shifted weight didn't feel wrong anymore.

"In case you do go out," Hizashi replied, going to the kitchen. He pulled the spare key he had made for Shouta the day he moved in and tossed it to him.

He caught it and swallowed. It was just silly to feel anything as strong as what was in his chest just then, but he couldn't help it. "Okay. Thanks." He looked over, hoping his eyes didn't show too much.

"No problem," Hizashi smiled back at him and went to his closet to grab a change of clothes. "You should let Nemuri know you're in town. I'm sure she and Sushi would be happy to see you."

"I will." He smiled. "After I've had a couple of hours to settle in. She's a bit much to take when you've spent so much time alone." Even if she was one of his best friends.

Hizashi laughed brightly as he went into the bathroom leaving the door cracked. "Yeah, she's that when you don't spend time alone all the time. God love her," he called and turned on the water.

Shouta laughed as Hizashi disappeared and then looked at the key in his hand. Hizashi had had it on hand and tossed it to him without any warning or fanfare. God. Hizashi... he might actually feel the same thing Shouta did and it was an intense feeling to have even a small piece of possible evidence. He cleared his throat and went to get one of his books to read while he waited. If he stared at the floor to stop himself from trying to peek in, that was only his business.

The shower ran for nearly ten minutes, followed by the hair drier for five, the last ten were entirely filled by the sound of Hizashi singing in Korean as he had been the entire time. When he emerged, the top half of his hair was in a bun, he was in one of his old loose blue U.A. shirt's that he'd transformed into a crop top, and a pair of grey cargo pants. He liked to be comfortable when he wasn't doing hero work, he wore near skin tight leather, sue him. He'd also put on eyeliner and mascara under his glasses. College had finally allowed him to break out and explore when it came to his sexuality, feminine clothing items where still a new addition, but he fucking loved them. He bustled out to grab his bag and start packing his necessities back inside. "Fridge is fair game. Let me know if you want me to pick up anything specific so I can grab it when I'm headed back, ya dig?"

Shouta very nearly swallowed his tongue when he saw him come out of the bathroom. Oh God. Oh fuck. And he was going to be sharing a bed with this man for weeks. If he didn't just combust that was. He had himself mostly together again when Hizashi actually looked at him. "You know I don't really care. I can eat whatever you like."

Hizashi snorted as he pulled on his hoodie and zipped it up halfway. "I'll pick you up a box of nutrient jellies," He grabbed his bag. "I should be back around 9, see you then?" He asked him, an indescribable warmth in his chest at knowing the answer was yes.

Shouta nodded and his chest filled with fond warmth. He loved being known so well by him. "I'll see you then."

~

Hizashi spent the day running around like a chicken with it's head cut off making arrangements so he could have at least the first two weeks clear to stay home and take care of Shouta. It was exhausting, but by the end of the day he had pissed off a few people and appeased a few more than that and he would have the time. It was actually midnight by the time he finally made it back; and while he had had to drag himself across town, the closer he got the more excited to see him again he got, waking him back up just a bit. "Hey," he smiled, left eye drooping in exhaustion, as he came in the door; a box of jelly packs and a box of pizza in one hand. "Sorry, I'm late. My English professor just let me take the final and test out of the rest of the semester."

Shouta looked up from where he sat with his back to the wall. He put down his book and smiled. "It's fine. You come bearing food and time with you. It makes up for it." He stood up and popped his back before going to help him with the boxes and get his share of food.

Hizashi put the jelly packs in the cupboard as he let Shouta handle the pizza. "So, all clear for the next couple weeks save a few small things that shouldn't take more than a few hours each," he announced as he sank into the spot next to him with a soda. He reached out for a slice and yawned.

"Great." Shouta felt nerves flutter, Hizashi arranging things making it all a little more real. But it was in a good way so he smiled and took a bite of pizza. "Talked to Nemuri. She wants to go out together tomorrow night."

"Oh man, she knows you can't drink right?" Hizashi laughed in reply as he took off his glasses to rub his eyes for a moment and then ate more pizza.

Shouta snorted a laugh and nodded. "She says she can drink enough for the both of us." He looked over at Hizashi with a smile as he chewed his pizza. "I feel like it's the lesser of two evils. And I can actually get a few memories of her wasted."

"You realize when she says she can drink enough for the both of you, she means she will drink a little extra and then funnel the rest into me," Hizashi laughed, picking off a mushroom and popping it in his mouth. 

Shouta grinned at him. "I'm told you're a friendly, fun drunk. I guess I get to see." He never ever remembered being drunk so he had very few memories of his friends drunk. It could be fun.

"I mean, I have a hard time getting to the point of out of control actually," Hizashi admitted, with a little shrug. "So mostly I'm just me." He finished his bite of pizza and took a drink from his bottle.

"Well, I like you being you so it'll be fun for me either way." He shrugged and finished his slice of pizza.

Hizashi smiled at Shouta, his heart thumping, not as hard as normal but he was freaking tired. "And after we can crash with Sushi," he smiled.

"Sounds good to me." He wiped the pizza off of his fingers and finished his drink. "Will you be able to sleep tonight?" He knew how wired he could get when he was overly tired and a bit worked up.

"Man, I am asleep already. I'm just a very talented sleepwalker," Hizashi laughed his head tilting over to look at him.

Shouta laughed warmly and shook his head. "Does that mean you're actually going to go to bed then? I was going to sleep soon and I want to be sure I don't end up smacking you by accident when you lie down."

"Yeah, I just need to wash my face," he replied and pushed himself back up. He yawned widely again as he grabbed a pair of pajamas and retreated back into the bathroom.

When Hizashi went into the bathroom, Shouta took a breath and moved to climb into bed. Well. Sharing a bed. Time to see if this was a disaster or not a big deal. He really bet on the latter and couldn't wait to have Hizashi next to him.

Hizashi came back out, covering yet another fucking yawn. "Sorry dude, I am about to be dead," he half mumbled as he crawled into the bed. He pulled up the blanket and flopped down onto his side with a puff, his hair making a mess on his pillow. 

Shouta smiled. "It's fine. I'm ready to sleep and you need to catch up on some. Go to sleep." Shouta felt his heart thud as he curled on his side and pulled his blanket tight around his shoulders.

Hizashi nodded, already falling asleep as he curled up, his hands moving to cover his mouth in that Pavlovian way. He would later regret not having the energy to stay awake and watch Shouta fall asleep, but then, it wasn't going to be his only chance was it?

Shouta did watch Hizashi fall asleep. He smiled slightly to see that he still covered his mouth like that, even after years of controlling his quirk. He drifted off to the thought that he would dearly love to cuddle into him when his body didn't feel so foreign.

Chapter Text

The few days leading up to Shouta's surgery, Hizashi worked his magic on him. He got him laughing and relaxed when they were on their own, which is what you wanted before surgery. He, however, was low-key wound up. It was an easy surgery, but it was still fucking surgery. It meant when his alarm to get up and get moving went off, he was already awake and working on his phone. The lip ring on the left side of his mouth bounced back and forth as he flicked it with his tongue.

All of Hashish's work made it so that Shouta actually slept the night before his surgery. Maybe not as well as he might have another night, but he did sleep. He woke up to Hizashi already up and intent. "Did you sleep?" 

 "I think I dozed off for a bit," he shrugged, glancing over at his bed partner and closing out his messenger. 

He yawned and shook his head. "I'm the one having surgery. I'm the one who should have had trouble sleeping." 

"I don't sleep a whole lot in the first place," Hizashi replied with a chuckle as he sat up and popped his neck.

Shouta sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "I remember. And I'm sure college isn't helping with that." 

Hizashi laughed as he slid out of the bed and stretched his arms up over his head, when he leaned back his shirt rode up. "Okay, we've got 20 minutes to head out."  

Since Hizashi wasn't looking he got a good stare in for a moment before he got up. "I don't need to do much. Just want to brush my teeth and put on shoes." 

Hizashi nodded as he moved over to grab a change of clothes. "Go ahead and use the bathroom first then." 

"Alright." He went and got as ready as he was getting. He came back out when he was done and took a deep breath. "You're turn." 

Hizashi had changed into his casual day clothes when he'd gone into the bathroom. "Thanks," he replied and went back to whistling as he headed in to do his business. "Ready when you are, Sho." 

He nodded nervously, his hands clenched tight to avoid shaking. "Let's go then." He grabbed his wallet and headed towards the door. 

Hizashi kept up a normal happy prattle as they made their way through the mostly sleeping city. His heart was hammering when they got to the clinic, both excited for Shouta and irrationally terrified that he would somehow tank on the table. The nerves had him drumming his fingers on his thighs to stem as Shouta signed it.  

He got through check-in and looked at Hizashi. "Thank you." He took his hand and squeezed. "I'm really glad you're here." He wasn't half as terrified as he would have been without him.

The drumming on his thigh stopped when Shouta took his hand, but it started back up behind his rib cage. "I wouldn't be anywhere else," Hizashi promised him with his own smile as he squeezed back. "Listen, is it okay if I ask the surgeon a few questions? I don't want to overstep but I have a few." 

He was surprised but he nodded. "Go ahead. My brain isn't working enough to ask what I probably should." 

Hizashi laughed a little as he rubbed Shouta's hand with his thumb. "Completely understandable," he smiled at his friend. "I say we burn all of your binders after the wraps come off." 

Shouta smiled and nodded. "I like that. I brought most of them." 

Hizashi didn't take his hand back from Shouta as they waited for him to get called back. In his inadvertent Present Mic way he ended up entertaining a little boy, who was nervous about his own mom's surgery, with animal vocal impressions. He felt a little bad, he was supposed to be entertaining Shouta, but at least he seemed to be, he kept smirking. Finally they were called back and he sat next to the bed in the last room that he was allowed in, tapping his feet as he waited for Shouta to change and get back into it. 

Shouta changed into the things they gave him and crossed his arms over his chest as he sat down. He stared down and he got into the bed and tried not to think about it. About the thin gown over the chest he hated so much. 

"Hey, Almost there," Hizashi smiled at him gently reaching out to grip his arm. "Do you want me to step out when the surgeon marks the site?" 

Shouta shook his head. "Please stay. I don't think I could handle it alone right now." 

"Okay," Hizashi soothed as he rubbed his hand on his arm gently. "I'm not going anywhere." They didn't actually have much of a moment between the nurse coming in to start a line, followed by the anesthesiologist, and finally the main surgeon. Hizashi took the man to task before he even got his hands on Shouta, as if he had been ready to veto this entire thing unless the guy was up to his standards. He asked which procedure was being used, as well as the guys closure technique. The surgeon even seemed a touch surprised when he asked if he was going to use subcutaneous mattress stitches to ensure proper adhesion of the skin back to the muscles to decrease the likelihood of nerve death. And then the surgeon went about marking the incisions on Shouta; and while he didn't stare of course he saw them. It was... He wondered if it was possible to feel dysphoria for someone else? They just... didn't belong. They weren't a part of Shouta; it was like some strange dual tumor. He shook it off quickly and when the surgeon left him again it was with the promise he would be back in a moment and they would go back. 

Shouta had to force his breathing to slow when he could cover himself again. That had been a kind of hell he couldn't describe, but he'd survived it. He reached out for Hizashi's hand, wanting the grounding connection for a while. "Thanks for asking all of that. I didn't know how to ask half of it." 

Hizashi gripped his hand back tightly. "Not a problem, I had to make sure he knows what he's doing, ya dig," he smiled at him. "You okay?"  

He nodded tightly. "As much as I can be." He huffed a breath and laid his head back. "Better with you here." 

Hizashi smiled at him a little. "Hey, just think, you'll hardly even remember this. Just like the last time you visited me and got drunk. You carried a bag of cheetos home convinced it was a stray." 

"Lies." Shouta smiled at him. "And slander. I am always rational and entirely dignified."

"Ha, yeah, cling to that illusion buddy," Hizashi laughed brightly for him. 

"Since I can't remember any of it, I will." He smiles wider, relieved that Hizashi can make him relax even now. 

As Hizashi laughed the team came back to take Shouta. "See you when you wake up," he promised and squeezed his hand one last time. 

Shouta smiled weakly and waved. Going in and going under was both a blur and burned into his memory. He couldn't focus, but every word spoken to him and every last sensation were sharp and clear as the staff reassured him and had him count himself into the oblivion of anesthesia. 

Hizashi spent the next three and a half hours pacing in front of the building. There was not a force on this Earth that would have made him capable of standing still. He called Nemuri to give her an update. She had tried to get the day off, but she had her first interns, so instead had threatened his life for updates. A whole new set of nerves popped up when he was called back in. The surgery had been perfect and now Shouta was waking up. 

Shouta woke up slowly, words filtering in little by little. And then his eyes worked again and he could see Hizashi. He worked on getting his mouth online. "Hey." 

"Hey!" Hizashi brightened the moment Shouta acknowledged him. He hoped out of the chair and joined him at the side of his bed. "Look at you man! The doc said you did stellar, how are you feeling?" 

Shouta blinked to clear his head a little. "I'm okay." The pain made itself known as he shifted and he looked down. Oh. His eyes teared up. "Actually, I'm great." 

Oh god damn it. There was nothing in this world that got to Hizashi like his stoic friend in tears. "Bandages stay on for 48 hours, once you check all their boxes I can take you home."

Shouta sniffed and wiped his eyes. "Okay. What do I need to do first?" 

"Use the bathroom, take a lap, and keep down some water and crackers," Hizashi listed what the nurse had told him when he'd been allowed in the room. 

Shouta nodded. "Let's start with water. I feel like I haven't had any in months." He tried to lift his arm the way he normally would and gasped at the sharp pain in his chest. 

"Easy there tiger, you just had a lot of cutting done," Hizashi ordered him, picking up the little glass with the straw and holding it up for him to sip. 

He sipped half the cup and felt almost human again. "Thanks. Can you feed me some crackers too?" His stomach growled in a way he would usually ignore a while longer unless it was convenient. 

"Request coming right up, listener," Hizashi agreed as he bobbed his head in the facsimile of a nod. It was like years of bobbing his head to music had made him unable to achieve the normal motion anymore. He set the cup down again, before opening the pack of crackers and holding up for him to eat.

Shouta shook his head fondly before taking a bite. "Thank you. Did you tell Nemuri that I'm out of surgery? I'm pretty sure she'll kill you if you don't." The cracker tasted disproportionately wonderful as he slowly chewed. 

"Indeed, I did. She's bringing dinner tonight to celebrate," Hizashi informed him with a laugh.

"She does understand that I need to rest, right?" He smiled, not actually put out in the least. He was pleased at the idea of sharing the results with the only other person who knew. 

"Yeah, she knows," Hizashi laughed, leaning his hips on the bed. "She's not all parties, all the time anymore just... most of the time," he laughed.  

Shouta huffed and nodded. "Then I'll be glad to have her around." He pointed carefully to the water. "Help me with the rest?" 

"Yeup," Hizashi was happy to pick it up for him and bring it close. "Try from here instead," he asked of him, holding the cup much closer so that he wouldn’t have to lift his arms too much.

Shouta nodded, gritting his teeth slightly as he took the cup and held it on his own. Soon he had finished the water and looked at Hizashi. "Okay, now I'm going to try the bathroom. Help me up?" 

Hizashi moved the table out of the way and hand himself ready in case Shouta lost his balance. "Alright, let's see if you're really as tough as you claim," he teased him with a grin. 

Shouta gave him a dry look and moved to get up mostly on his own. As long as he didn't use his arms much it was bearable and he gave Hizashi a self satisfied smirk. "Just don't let me fall. I don't want to deal with that humiliation." 

"Never, you know that," Hizashi gave him that gentle smile that was only for him, staying nearby to catch him if need be as he headed into the bathroom. 

Shouta felt his heart warm at Hizashi's words and it made him more determined. He made it to the bathroom and back, pleased with himself. "Okay. I really want out of here." 

Hizashi gave him a bright laugh as he moved to walk out of the room with him, "That didn't take long. Heeeeellllllooo Nurse," He grinned at the lady who had been taking care of Shouta, using his quirk only enough to entertain her. "Told you this guy was tenacious!" 

"Yes, you did," she chuckled back as she looked up from her monitor. "How are you feeling Mr. Aizawa?" 

He nodded. "Good. Ready to go home." If he happened to get a little thrill out of calling Hizashi's place home, only he needed to know.

"Did you manage to keep down the crackers and water?" She asked, her eyes on the screen as Hizashi followed Shouta a step behind him around the station. 

"Yeah." Shouta felt more and more steady on his feet as he walked. "I actually feel really good. My whole chest just aches some." 

"That's what we want to hear!" the nurse smiled up at him. "You do a couple laps and I will get your release paperwork drawn up."

Hizashi gave a happy smile, of course as the drug wore off Shouta would jump right back on his feet and needed no help from anyone. That was just who he was. "Tough as nails." 

Shouta shook his head. "Probably euphoria." His chest finally looked right and it was almost a high to look at it. "And stubbornness." 

"Ha, man, when are you going to learn to take a compliment," Hizashi laughed at him, having to fight the urge to put his arm around his shoulders. 

He snorted and grinned. "Never. Not now or ever." He had to force himself not to hunch, but his determination won out.  

Hizashi just shook his head while he laughed. Getting Shouta checked out and in a cab home was easy enough. Thankfully as promised emuri was the calm version of her lovely self that night when she brought dinner and cake to celebrate. 

-

The closer they got to taking off his binder and bandages off the more nervous Hizashi got for Shouta. His nail polish was nearly entirely scratched off from nerves. "You ready?"

The euphoria didn't fully fade even when the anesthesia did and the pain got worse. He was over the moon pretty much all the time. When it was time to take off the bandages Shouta was surprised by how unafraid he was. He was more excited to finally see the initial results of the first thing he had ever been fully aware of wanting. "Yeah. I'm ready." His hands were shaking, only half with nerves, as he moved to start unwrapping the bandages. 

Hizashi helped him with the bandages from where he stood behind him. He kept his eyes on Shouta's shoulder blades, feeling like it was only right that Shouta saw first.

Shouta looked down and he had to sniff a couple of times to keep from crying. His chest was every color between green and purpleblack; with shunts protruding where they had been left to help fluid drain, but it was the right shape. It was finally the right fucking shape. He sniffed again. "It doesn't look that bad. What do you think?"

When Hizashi looked up into the mirror to see for himself, it felt like being punched in the gut. Clearly he had always been attracted to Shouta, he was fucking head over heels for the guy, but everything about him seemed to change in an instant, his shoulder seemed to square, and he had to have grown an inch. It was seeing that he felt right in his body that nearly had Hizashi swallowing his tongue. He nodded emphatically when he realized he had stared for a second without speaking. "Dude! You look fucking amazing. He did a hell of a job with the stitching. It looks like it's healing great," he spoke quickly to make up for his momentary silence and smiled at him widely.

Shouta's eyes were glued on himself so he missed any nuance on Hizashi's face, but smiled at the cheer in his tone. "Yeah. It looks right. Amazingly right." He finally turned to look at Hizashi. "Don't you think?" 

"Completely. Well, not completely, at the moment it looks like you took an Oklahoma smash to the sternum, but yeah," Hizashi laughed softly as he met Shouta's eyes. He reached up to squeeze his shoulder.  

Shouta laughed slightly and beamed at his best friend. "It's worth it. When it heals I don't think I'll wear a shirt for a month." He carefully touched his chest. It hurt, but he felt skin over muscle instead of fat and he didn't care about the pain. 

Hizashi very, very, very, nearly said. "Please don't." But he managed to not drop that bomb by the skin of his teeth. He channeled the words instead into a bright laugh, even as he winced over Shouta poking the bruised skin. "Now you can't tell me no about the beach anymore, you know that right?"  

He wrinkled his nose and looked at him with a pout. "Not having dysphoria over my chest isn't going to suddenly make me social. They never had anything to do with each other." 

"Who said anything about being social at the beach?" Hizashi argued playfully with air quotes. 

"Fine." He had to bite down a smile. "If I have to. But you have to take care of everything because I refuse to be party to my own torture." 

Hizashi lurched forward like he was going to hug Shouta, the way he always did when the guy let him win, but half way there realized what he was about to do. "Oh!" he yelped, jerking back and throwing himself off balance. He was laughing as he caught himself on the door. "Awesome! Next summer then!" 

Shouta couldn't hide his smile then. Hizashi would break his own bones rather than hurt him and fuck, that was an amazing thing to know. "Alright. For now I need a pain killer and something to eat so it doesn't knock me out." For most injuries he generally wouldn't take care of himself very well. He'd be too pissed at himself. (Something he would later chastise his students for, but pot, kettle, black.) For this he was proud of himself so he would take the painkillers when it hurt. 

Hizashi gave the happy smile that he always gave when Shouta surprised him and actually took care of himself. "You got a request on what to eat," he asked as he picked up clean bandages and began to wrap Shouta's chest again.  

"I was thinking that we could get a pizza. We always have pizza when we're half celebrating something." It was cheap and fast so they had it pretty much any time they were together for any length of time. He associated it heavily with being happy and with Hizashi so it felt like the natural choice. He winced as Hizashi helped him slide the security binder, the last he would ever use, back on. 

"Choice idea," Hizashi agreed, bobbing his head in that non-nod of his as he stepped out of the bathroom with Shouta. "The Normal or are we feeling adventurous," He grinned teasingly while pulling out his phone to order, knowing the answer from his dear autism. 

Shouta gave him an unamused look. There was only one kind of pizza. Their pizza. "The usual. You order, I'm going to go take that pill." 

Hizashi laughed as he snatched up his phone. Before he opened the app to their favorite place he sent Kayama a text. 'S.O.S. he doesn't have the right to fry my brain like this, HALP' "You want bread sticks too?" 

"Sure." He took the pill and drank some water, taking the moment to deal with the various emotions taking up space in him. Hizashi was beyond supportive and good to him. Now that he had moved past a lot of his grief and his dysphoria was fading, it took a lot more effort not to just grab Hizashi when he was being perfect. 

Hizashi pouted at his phone when all he received was a gif of All Might laughing. See if he went to her for moral support anymore. "Alright, Ordered," He announced as he rejoined him. Normally he would be babbling, damn it. Pull it together, Yamada. "I got those mini cinnamon roll thingies too. Sounded good." 

"It does." Shouta nodded and went to sit on the bed, his shoulders relaxed but not slumped in a way that was entirely new. He couldn't pinpoint the feeling that filled him, but that was probably because he had never felt satisfied and fully comfortable before. "Do you mind if we sit here? It's more comfortable at the moment." 

"Sorry what?" Hizashi asked as he looked up from his phone, he had looked away when the confirmation email for their order had come in. 

Shouta frowned, worried now. He'd done that a few times now. "Can you hear me?" 

Hizashi couldn't help the sheepish look, as he joined him on the bed. "Most of the time still, yeah, but the hearing has got worse," he admitted.  

"Zashi... why didn't you tell me?" Hizashi had always been there for him. For everything. Why wouldn't he do the same when something was going on?

The blond shrugged a little, looking away from him. He knew, he knew that obviously his friend would be there for him; and maybe that was part of why. Shouta had his own path and Hizashi didn't want to tie him down when he needed to run. "I've seen it coming for a long time, it hasn't really felt all that major," he replied, it was part truth. "And I mean. It's not really anything new for me. My quirk did a good amount of damage when I was a kid and still couldn't control it anyway, ya dig?" 

The fact that he hadn't realized that himself stung just a bit. He took a breath. "Keep me updated on it. I want to be there if you need anything. It's important to me that I can be there for you like you always are for me." 

Hizashi bumped their shoulders together, "I will, But really it's no big deal, and it shouldn't be getting worse from here. My new headphones nullify my quirk in my own ears completely. " 

Shouta nodded, a bit relieved. "Alright. Thanks. You've always been exactly the friend I need so I hate the idea of letting you down." 

"Tch," Hizashi laughed softly in reply, not possible. "You aren't, I promise." He scooted back until he could lean against his wall. "Nah, I just wasn't really thinking about it. If it helps, you can learn JSL," he smiled a bit. "It's great for hero work too." 

Shouta nodded slowly, realizing as his head swam that the painkiller was hitting his empty stomach harder than he'd thought. "Good idea. I'll learn. Would be nice to talk without talking." He was pretty sure that was a little bit silly, but it was true and made sense to him. 

Hizashi laughed brightly at his reasoning, "That would be your take away wouldn't it."

He smiled at him and nodded, his hair moving in a way that he found moderately fascinating. "It would be nice. Do you already know it?" 

"Yes, I do," Hizashi replied as he signed at the same time. "Started my first semester." 

"Teach me some?" He smiled and shifted to face him. "I want to know how to talk to you."

Hizashi's heart melted a touch, "Alright," he agreed, shifting around to sit cross legged facing him to teach him the alphabet. It was good PT for his chest too. And nothing made Hizashi happier than watching Shouta heal.

Chapter Text

Hey guys this is to let people know who subscribed that we are making this a series! I'm not sure how the Email notification thing works for series, but now you know!
It felt important to leave this as a contained fic rated for Teen audiences. That and we have a habit of linguistically meandering, so the entire RP would be a bit weird lmao.
First chapter of the next installment is now up!