Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a rare that Gibson ever stayed in his room for this long. It was rarer still that he stayed in his room for the majority of the day.

Somehow though, that’s exactly where he found himself at the moment.

He had woken up that morning with a plan of eating breakfast with the team, training, and then using the rest of the day to run some tests in his lab. While the breakfast part of the day had gone swimmingly despite Sprx’s digs at his growing caffeine addition, he found himself falling into some kind of mood as the team entered the training room for their daily lessons.

He wasn’t one hundred percent sure what mood he’d fallen into in that moment, but he found that it slowly and stubbornly started to worm its way into him before settling somewhere in the back of his mind. Throughout the entire session he found himself going into autopilot, only moving as fast and as slow as he needed against the facilities weapons systems. As he fought he found himself focusing less on what he was doing and more on how his teammates were handling the exercise instead.

Nova fought the automated weapons with vigor and ease as she used her fists to punch holes in the pillars of machinery, effectively disabling them as she dodged others laser fire, scattering parts in her wake.

Sprx and Otto tag teamed a particularly difficult section of plasma blasters and lasers, as Sprx used his magnets to temporarily stun the weapons and Otto used his saws to slice them away.

Antauri was farther away, expertly dodging the beams and rays as he levitated through the air, shooting back and forth in a blinding streak of silver until he activated his ghost claws and discarded his section with ease before levitating back to the middle of the field in his signature ‘lotus’ position. Chiro wasn’t far off, throwing his energy spears at each of the stray weapons the others dislocated from the their original pillars.

Gibson wished he could say he was taking out his section as efficiently as them, but he did not have such luck.

In the middle of intercepting a majority of the laser fire he did not even notice as one of the lasers Otto had dismembered shot off a stray beam. What he had noticed was the beam itself coming directly at him out of the corner of his vision. He knew he should have dodged it effortlessly but in a strange moment of passiveness he didn’t move out of the way. He remembered hearing Antauri call out his name before the shot collided with his right side, the sudden pain that shot through him on impact, and the pain to his left side as he the made his acquaintance with the floor.

Antauri reacted first before the rest of the team could cover for him as he used his mind to contort the metal of the guns, twisting and crushing them until they detonated under the pressure. He used this ability to wipe out half of the course closest to Gibson, even leaving some of the others to stop completely dumbfounded as he even took out their share of the room in one swift movement. He then raced to Gibson’s side with unnatural speed as he shielded him from the shrapnel that fell while the others finished off the exercise.

Training was done for the day. Or at least it was done for Gibson. Despite the brief wash of shame and embarrassment he had in the moment, looking back he honestly couldn’t bring himself to care at his lackluster performance.

The others questioned him. Could he move? Was he all right? Did he need to be carried to med bay? Was his brain still lagging since breakfast? All bombarded at him as Antauri helped him up. He almost couldn’t bring himself to answer them. He was partly still in shock that he’d simply allowed that to happen and partly because he just couldn’t bring himself to care.

He promptly told them he was fine. He simply wasn’t in the right mindset that morning. Sprx took another dig at him while Nova, Chiro, and Otto still gave him concerned looks. Antauri was strangely silent as Gibson pulled away from him rubbing his side and assessing the damage.

It wasn’t a bad wound. He’d certainly been through much worse, but it had singed a good chunk of his right side, leaving a sizable scorch mark behind and the less than pleasant smell of burnt fur in the air. There was no blood involved thankfully, not even any split skin, but that didn’t stop Gibson from hastily excusing himself from the others leaving them slightly bewildered as he walked away. He offhandedly heard the team questioning each other quietly about his behavior as he made his way to the training room doors before he heard Antauri state he’d ‘have a talk with him later’ as he exited the room completely.

He knew he should have gone straight to his lab to take care of his injury as quickly as possible, and yet there he was. In one of the few chairs he had in his room, next to a reasonably sizable table staring at nothing in particular. The wound from that morning still on his side untreated and left out in the open. He had spared a glace at the med bay as he walked by it but found he couldn’t muster the energy to walk inside. So instead he walked to his room, shut the door behind him, and sat in his chair where he promptly lost track of time.

The feeling he had since morning training was still nagging in the back of his mind, not once giving him peace in the silence of his room. He tried to pinpoint exactly what the feeling was and why he was feeling that way, sifting through the possibilities before he concluded that it was some form of uneasiness. Like something was about to happen but not knowing what that something was. Now where this feeling was coming from was more difficult to explain.

If something was about to happen what could it possibly be? Was this simply just a mood that would pass eventually? Or in an outreaching possibility, was it something that had to do with the power primate? He was particularly interested in this possibility, deciding that out of the three it was the most reasonable. He was fine by all accounts at breakfast and only spiraled down after the team entered the training room.

While Gibson knew he was not nearly as prominent in the power primate like Antauri or Chiro, it didn’t necessarily mean he couldn’t feel when something was wrong. He in particular could feel a minimal connection to his teammates, as faint as it was, and sense their presence in most situations as well as any approaching danger. In fact, all of the hyperforce members were capable of this due to how tightly connected they were to it and each other. Was it possible that something with the power primate was affecting his mood?

Or was it actually the power primate itself trying to communicate with him, telling him that something was off?

He followed this train of thought further, running through and trying to connect the dots. Firstly, he was fine at breakfast so there wasn’t much to say there. Secondly, He only started to feel uneasy when everyone entered the training room for the daily exercise. And thirdly, the feeling itself didn’t pester him that badly until just before the incident. None of the others seemed particularly bothered during the session but afterwards the only that was acting even slightly different than usual was…

Antauri.

Gibson thought back to the training session, trying to remember every detail of the silver monkey during the time. While he seemed to be acting no different than usual Gibson had taken notice that he had been particularly fast during the exercise, even faster than he normally was. While Antauri did prefer to end the sessions quickly he was more prominent that the team take their time to learn from them. He would only take extreme action or stop the simulations altogether when Suggazoom was in danger. However, it seemed that he was more on edge than Gibson initially thought if he ended his part of the simulation that quickly.

Gibson then thought about how he acted after he was injured. Antauri was the first to jump into action before any of the others could even react. He even used his telekinesis to destroy the machinery, which he rarely ever did before. He had always opted to use his ghost claws or even his superior fighting skills before resorting to his more mental abilities unless he needed them to levitate or force any opponents or objects back. Then before Gibson could get up on his own Antauri shielded him from further damage until the fight was over.

It wasn’t entirely unusual that whenever any of the others were hurt or down in battle it was Antauri who was the first to pick up their slack. It wasn’t as if the other monkeys or Chiro couldn’t handle the situation, they were more than capable of taking some damage from time to time, however it seemed that lately as soon as one of the monkeys were injured Antauri would double, almost triple his efforts to keep them out of harms way. Even going so far as to take care of the threat by himself.

Gibson had never recalled Antauri doing such a thing before he became the silver monkey. He would usually only handle a threat head on if the others were preoccupied in battle, otherwise he and the rest of the team would fight as a whole.
When the others were hurt he would certainly provide cover until they were back on their feet if possible, but it was not to the extent that he does now. Gibson knew Antauri would keep the team safe as best he could but back then he also knew Antauri would let the team fight their own battles.

Yet it seemed that he was more willing to take a more direct position as of late. Beating down foes before the fight could last too long, and even going as far to fight the battle for his teammates instead of letting them get up and continue the fight themselves.

It seemed like lately he was the one who would unconditionally and repeatedly put himself in harms way for the good of his teammates more than any one of them, and considering what their job was…this was concerning.

Gibson had always known that Antauri would do anything for the team. In fact, he would do anything for the universe if it meant it would not fall to evil. He DID do everything in his power to try to stop a very lethal threat from destroying everything he’d ever known…

…And look where that all ended up.

Gibson could only imagine what it was like. Sacrificing his very being for the good of the universe only for it to blow up in his face so catastrophically. He had known there was the possibility of death in their fight against evil, but to witness it…it tied a knot in his stomach that stubbornly refused to unravel.

Truthfully, he didn’t want to get into the logicality of it all. The nearsightedness of Antauri’s logic, thinking he could seal the Dark One Worm all by himself. The absurdity of Chiro turning into a monkey hybrid due to possibly carrying Antauri’s soul alongside an excess surge of energy from the Power Primate. The sheer luck of Antauri somehow holding on and finding a brand new body, left behind in an old dilapidated lab deep within the Zone of Wasted Years. It sounded like the plot to a terrible action movie; it just wasn’t possible. It shouldn’t be possible.

And yet it was. Antauri destroyed himself for no payoff. His sacrifice was in vain. The Dark One Worm still escaped, regenerated its severed body, and it took to the stars, creating a tidal wave of corruption that encased every planet, solar system, and galaxy it traveled to. Never ceasing its chaotic agenda until the Hyperforce flew into space after it and eventually destroyed it.

Antauri died for nothing.

Gibson pinched the bridge of his nose while he took a deep breath. He suddenly felt like he desperately wanted to scream. All of the negative emotions from those dark times fueled by the emotions he had now were beginning to suddenly pile up. Like a glass bottle that had been too full for too long, the pressure was beginning to spill over, threatening to rupture and scatter shards everywhere. If he was feeling like this just from thinking about Antauri’s death, he couldn’t begin to imagine what it must have felt…how it does feel for Antauri himself.

In fact, he hadn’t even recalled Antauri discussing anything about it since his return. None of the others even touched the subject back then and they certainly didn’t mention anything about it now.

Gibson decided it was for many different reasons; the biggest being that the team just wasn’t ready to talk about it as a whole. Antauri’s death had affected each and every one of them in many ways, all of them painful, so he didn’t pay it much thought. However, it didn’t sit well in Gibson’s mind that something like this could be left alone. Eventually they would need to talk about it, be it separately or with each other. He just wished it wasn’t so hard to do.

He debated going to Antauri first. He was a good listener and he was also the best to give advice when any of the others hit a roadblock. Not to mention Gibson’s current train of thought was directly about him. However, Gibson held back from continuing further. It wasn’t as if Antauri was that hard to talk to but even Gibson would admit that there was something about the monkey that seemed…unapproachable.

Perhaps it was the way Antauri always showed little emotion as they chatted with one another, even casually. The only emotions that would show were a small smile if he was interested in the conversation or a slight furrow of his eyebrows when he wasn’t. Or perhaps it was in the way he would spare advice with an almost monotone pitch to his voice. Being with the team so long Gibson knew the different tones in Antauri’s voice however small they were, but Gibson at times felt like Antauri usually talked at him instead of to him and wondered of it was because that’s how he was taught to handle other people’s emotions or if that’s just how Antauri actually was.

Plus, he didn’t know if Antauri would be open to talking about his own death. Maybe he would, but Gibson just didn’t know.

The others would be marginally easier to talk to only because they didn’t bother to hide themselves behind a façade. They would dodge the question, absolutely, but they can only dodge it for so long until they knew they had to sit down and talk it out no matter what emotions would come from it negative or positive. However, he also knew how much of a loaded gun it would be to persist the subject when they weren’t ready.

Gibson sighed in the silence. The entire time he had been thinking, he could feel the uneasiness growing in the back of his mind and slowly staring to snake out through his whole body. Maybe that was a hint? If this unease really was the power primate’s doing than he had an idea of what he was supposed to do about it. And considering what he had been thinking about the entire time he knew exactly who he had to talk to. But how could he even bring it up?

He was suddenly startled by a knock at his door, jumping in his seat as whipped his head out of his daze. The knock was followed by a voice asking for his permission to enter the room.

‘…All right then’ He thought to the power primate. ‘We do have to have this talk eventually, but if you feel it has to be done now then I’ll do it. I just hope it will end well.’

Chapter Text

“The door is open” Gibson called, knowing exactly who was on the other side but made no moves to stand from his chair.

A slight whooshing sound followed after, accompanied by the footsteps of the silver monkey as he entered the room. Gibson saw as Antauri took a moment to look around the room before zeroing in on him and moving towards the chair and table. As he did Gibson moved his hand underneath the table and hit a button, which activated a second chair to materialize from the floor next to him. Antauri nodded his thanks and proceeded to take his seat, making himself comfortable before turning to Gibson completely.

“I suppose you know why I am here Gibson?” Antauri started.

“I have some theories.” Gibson responded with a slight apprehension. He knew what he wanted to do, but now that he was face to face with the metallic monkey he was already beginning to hesitate. Would this work or would it be a complete disaster?

Antauri did not respond immediately. Instead Gibson watched as he looked him over, no doubt mentally evaluating him to calculate the best approach. He watched as Antauri’s eyes narrowed in on the scorch mark still on his side before slightly raising a brow in surprise.

“I see you have not yet treated your wound Gibson. It has been a few hours since our morning training. I’d have thought you would have already taken care of it by now. Is there a reason as to why it is not?” He asked looking back at Gibson’s face.

“I would assume so.” Gibson responded flippantly. “There is a reason for everything really. As much as it sounds like an excuse I merely did not have the energy to properly treat it.”

Antauri blinked. “I will admit Gibson that is not the answer I was expecting. You are more than prominent with treating any injury as soon as you are able. It troubles me that you would put your own health at risk for any reason.”

“Understandable.” Gibson agreed. “I would also say that I would share your concern, however since this morning I will admit haven’t been feeling quite myself.” Antauri said nothing, instead nodding his head for Gibson to continue.

“There have been certain…concerns that I have been thinking about since my disastrous performance in the training simulation. I have noticed things that I was not previously aware of at the time but now I find myself unable to shake them off. Certain things concerning a particular teammate that I have no idea how to approach delicately due to the…sensitivity of the subject I wish to talk with them about. Before I tell you my thoughts may I ask you a question?”

Antauri raised an eyebrow at Gibson again.

“Right, dumb question.” Gibson said jokingly, holding up his hands. “Would you say that the power primate, alongside the ability to warn us of danger, also has the ability to tell us that something is wrong within the team? Specifically, is it possible for the power primate to understand certain…changes in the team and react in a way that indirectly tells us to fix the problem?”

Antauri closed his eyes as he thought, taking a moment to think it over. “I have no reason to believe that it cannot do so. The power primate is directly connected to all of us, while simultaneously connecting us to one another. We feel what the power primate feels but I do not doubt that it could also go the other way. If we are not functioning at one hundred percent, it may have the power to intervene in specific ways. The power primate is an entity in and of itself, but that does not mean that it will not try to help us as we fight to protect Suggazoom and the universe form evil. Do you believe that it was trying to tell you something this morning? Was it the reason you seemed so distracted?”

“I would think so.” Gibson answered. “I did not feel the way I did during breakfast, and it was only during the exercise itself that the feeling was beginning to sink in. I have reason to believe that this was the power primates way of saying something was amiss within the team.”

“And do you still feel this way?” Antauri asked, studying Gibson’s face closely.

“I do. But more importantly I feel that I have actually pinpointed specifically who it is that the power primate is trying to tell me about.” Gibson straightened his back, sitting up so he could properly see Antauri’s reaction. “To put it bluntly I believe it’s trying to tell me that the problem … is you.”

…

Antauri did not quite know how to respond. “…Me? I am the one the power primate is considering the problem?”

“Maybe ‘problem’ is not the right word per say, but I can’t think of anyone else unfortunately.” Gibson stated putting a hand under his chin and closing his eyes in contemplation. “It doesn’t make sense for any of the others to cause as much concern except for you. The way you acted this morning, and how you’ve acted recently from memory only adds to the credibility.”

He opened his eyes looked directly at the silver monkey. “I believe, Antauri, that the power primate wants us to have a talk. A very specific talk that I have also wanted to have, but have not found a proper way of bringing up. It has nothing to do with me but everything about you. There are certain feelings that I believe you have been keeping to yourself that I think you should very much bring to light. Something that cuts quite deep if the power primate itself is trying to intervene.”

There was no sound between either monkey as Gibson finished his sentence. The air in the room suddenly seemed to still. The soft noises of the robot around them went silent as if the robot itself was aware of what was happening in that very room. Antauri stared, unblinking as his words sunk in while he sat unnervingly frozen in place. Gibson began to think that Antauri knew what he was hinting at and had momentarily broken the mechanical monkey. He was about to ask if he was all right and if should change the subject before Antauri spoke first.

“I believe that that is preposterous.”

“I am glad you agree Antau-?” Gibson sighed relieved before quickly shaking his head, taking a second to process what he’d heard. “-I beg your pardon?”

“I said your theory is irrational Gibson. While I do believe the power primate is involved somehow I assure you that the concern lies elsewhere. I am not feeling any negative emotions at the moment, nor did I feel any to such an extent that it is currently needing council.”

“But you admit you had felt something at some point then?” Gibson asked, trying to regain his composure. He was caught off guard with how fast Antauri seemed to shoot him down, but he would not give him the satisfaction of derailing the conversation.

“…That is not the concern now Gibson. What is the concern is that there is something you need to talk about and I am here to listen. Whatever it may be I will hear you through it all and provide what I can to help you move past it.” Antauri said calmly.

“I…know you are Antauri. No matter what you always seem to be the one to talk to any of us about our problems. Always willing to hear what we have to say. But I think there is something that you and I need to talk about. A very glaring issue that needs to be addressed and one you seem to be keen on flat out avoiding since its happening.” Gibson insisted.

“I am more than willing to talk Gibson, but right now it is not me that we need to address. You know I am capable of helping you all through your problems and insecurities, if you have any. It is my duty as the second in command to put your worries at ease as best as I can.”

‘At an expense to yourself.’ Gibson thought ruefully. He was growing concerned at Antauri sudden dodging of the subject. He tried again.

“Antauri…” Gibson started carefully, “has it ever occurred to you that you are not obligated to solely focus on us?”

“Of course I am Gibson. We are a single unit, a team. If any one of you needs assistance for anything, be it mental, emotional, or mystical, it is my obligation to help you.”

“That is not precisely what I meant.”

“In any case Gibson, I can see that you are struggling with something and I want to do my part to help relieve you of this burden plaguing your mind.”

“What I am ‘struggling’ with Antauri is something that concerns that exact line of thinking from you.” Gibson said worriedly. “It seems to me, that after the Dark One Worm you have been saying and doing more and more for this team than you had anytime previously. You are keen in driving it home that you are here and you seem to be particularly concerned with keeping us out of harms way. Take this mornings training for example, I have never seen you move so fast to both neutralize our targets in record time and to save me from further injury. It would not bother me so much if you had done this before, but it only seem like you’ve been doing this after the events of the Worm. Care to tell me why that is?”

Antauri only shook his head. “I merely wish to reassure all of you that I am still present in your lives. I know what happened after I sealed the Worm was…turbulent for all of you. But I assure you that what has happened does not mean that I am no longer there to lend my aid in whatever way necessary. As for the training exercise, would you have rather I not try to help you?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying, but you know we are all capable of taking worse hits than what I have gone through today. I am not telling you to not have our backs, but you seem to be taking on more responsibility for us than you’ve ever done. Pushing yourself to limits you don’t have to go through.” Gibson stated. Careful sidestepping didn’t seem to be working. It was time to find a more direct tactic.

“You also seem to be very keen to talking to us about ourselves. When was the last time you talked about yourself Antauri? What you have been feeling?”

“Myself?” Antauri questioned, taking a moment to process what Gibson asked. “There is no need to talk about myself Gibson. I am not the ones with burdens currently on his mind. And if I did, I can meditate a solution at my own leisure later in my quarters. You do not have to concern yourself in that matter.”

“I beg your pardon?” Gibson shook his head in disbelief. “You don’t have any…things you currently need to talk about? At all? Even slightly?!”

“Not anything that demands immediate attention Gibson.”

“Antauri.” Gibson could not honestly believe what he was hearing. He wasn’t joking, Antauri wasn’t the type, but it was almost actually hysterical that he didn’t think that the big glaring metallic body he currently resided in counted as an immediate concern. Was this what the power primate was trying to tell him about?

“We are getting off track Gibson. This conversation is not about me, it is about you.”

“Antauri…” Gibson tried again, “I assure you that there is a very important issue that I’m certain you need to address. One I’m almost certain the power primate is telling me is the problem.”

“If you insist Gibson, but again whatever that is, that is not the focus right now.” Antauri straightened his back and looked at Gibson with practiced calmness.

“Antauri…” Gibson angrily muttered, his eyebrow twitching slightly. This was getting out of hand. He wasn’t even listening to the fact that the power primate was involved; he had always taken the power primate seriously no matter what! Gibson knew he had to stop this train wherever it was heading before Antauri got too far. The uneasy feeling was writhing into him now, as if it was physically trying to burrow a hole through him. He didn’t want to have to rip the bandage off like this, but now he might not have a choice.

“I am certain that no matter what it is that is bothering you we can get through this, either separately or as a team. I will reiterate once more what whatever you need to say I am here to listen.” Antauri coaxed, trying again to persuade Gibson to open up.

“Alright! I’ve had just enough of this song and dance!” Gibson spat, hands digging into his armchair. “Will you just get off your high horse and stop talking to me like you’re a damn robot?! Why are you acting like this? This whole spiel of ‘I am here whenever you need me’ or ‘you can always talk to me about anything, I am here to listen’ and everything you’re saying akin to that?”

Antauri looked momentarily stunned, not expecting the outburst as if he’d never seen this type of explosive anger from Gibson. The blue monkey would normally seethe in frustration and rarely get this genuinely angry but enough was enough.

“You are upset because I offer an ear and advice when you need it?” Antauri said confused.

“I am upset because you take it upon yourself to give advice but never heed your own words.”

“I am sorry Gibson, but I still do not understand.”

“I-!” Gibson started angrily once more, but halfway through he let go with a defeated sigh. He slid down into the chair more while closing his eyes and lifting a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. He counted one, two, three seconds of holding his breath before letting out a second more frustrated sigh before opening his eyes and turning to Antauri again.

“Antauri, when was the last time YOU talked to any of us about what has been bothering you?”

“As I said, I am not bothered by anything at the moment Gibson, nor do I know of any time before where there was something I could not handle mentally or emotionally that I needed the team’s counsel for. Is there an example you can provide me with where you believed I needed to speak with someone?

“Not bothered by-!” Gibson was stunned. Did he honestly believe what he was saying, that he didn’t need to talk to any of the other hyperforce members about something of this magnitude?

“Very well then I will give you some examples Antauri!” Gibson spat. “Lets start with an very early example, let’s say how you actually felt when Mandarin betrayed the team and we had to seal him away.”

“That was a long time ago Gibson, I have come to peace with what Mandarin chose as his path.” Antauri said with ease. “While it was one we were not prepared for, it was one that happened nonetheless. There is no longer anything that can be said about it.

“Oh really? Despite the fact that he was your closest companion while you trained with the Verans? Despite the fact that you two were close when he was our leader and you his second in command? Despite the fact that even in his exile you still called him the wisest, strongest, and most intelligent monkey of all of us?”

“I only meant such Gibson because it was true. Not only that but Chiro had to understand what Mandarin was capable of at the time. He was dangerous, able to outsmarting both you and myself in battle and in everyday life. He knew more than I ever did about the power primate and its abilities, and he could easily take each and every one of us down without much effort. Before Chiro had to face him in combat I at least wanted him to take him seriously if nothing else.”

“Very well, how about when Chiro went up against Skeleton King’s forces for the first time? How about how he handling said forces now that Skeleton King has gotten infinitely stronger? You cannot tell me you don’t worry about this boy and what he goes through because of us. If this battle between Skeleton King’s forces and the Hyperforce doesn’t give this child PTSD before he turns 20 I’ll eat my own tail. Unless of course he already has it considering what he’s seen and experienced up to this point I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“There is not a day that goes by where I don’t think of Chiro’s well being Gibson. However, you as well as I know that he is capable of handling it. He was not picked as the chosen one for no reason, and more importantly we are here for him. Whatever he needs or whatever troubles his mind we will be here for as long as he needs us, just as he will be there for us as he has proven time and time again.”

This wasn’t working. Gibson guessed he had to pry a little deeper.

“How about when you went to Carala Dhal only to find out your master, the one whom you told us taught you the ways of the Power Primate and could never be corrupted, had fallen to said corruption and tried to destroy you and Chiro before we could reach you and lend you our aid?

“Gibson…” Antauri started, a frown gracing his face.

A reaction. Good. He was starting to get somewhere.

Gibson continued quickly before Antauri could respond. “How about when the Dark One Worm was freed from Shuggazoom’s core? How you and Chiro fought so hard, only to not be able to prevent it from happening?”

“That was not-“ Antauri clutched his hands together in fists.

Excellent. Just a bit more.

“How about when Chiro turned into that monkey hybrid and ran all across the Zone of Wasted Years before coming across a entire forest previously unknown to us? Or the fact that within said forest was a lab where Chiro literally put a cybernetic monkey, which he had no previous recollection about, together? He said, his voice rising.

“Gibson, I do not-this is getting out of hand.“ Antauri started again frustration laced in his voice as he leaned his head down and closed his eyes.

This was it, one last push. As much as he didn’t want to say this he wasn’t left with another option.

“Or how about a more in depth example yes?” Gibson almost shouted, the emotions in his chest reaching a fever pitch. “How about when you DIED Antauri? How about that? Is that not something you’re actually bothered with? Or are you once again trying to hide yourself behind the stoic façade you always give us?!”

“How about when Chiro put that said cybernetic monkey together, somehow put your soul into it and you were miraculously revived! Against all the laws of life and death you somehow managed to slip under the seams, which you still continue to do, and you have the gall to sit in front of me right now and say you are not bothered by this?! Apparently the entire team, including myself, needs to take a page out of whatever book you are currently reading from because I assure you we all could use that blind confidence too!”

Antauri open his eyes wide but didn’t look up at Gibson. He started at his lap taking deep breaths of his own before shutting his eyes tight.

“Gibson.” Antauri said in a low, almost threatening tone. “I will ask you only once. Please do not drag the others into this kind of conver-“

“Oh but I will Antauri! I will do just that!” Gibson spat. “Make no mistake, I will not drag you or the others into talking about something you truly do not want to, in fact you have every reason to stop and walk out that door right now, but I will not sit by as this rips us up from the inside out! I will not keep quite when something has to be said!”

Gibson broke down, his voice turning uncharacteristically desperate. “You can’t sit there and say that this is ok when you very much know it’s not. That simply saying that you’ll be fine is enough to put us at ease, or distracting us from what is happening, what has happened, will ease the blow. That this-“ Gibson gestured vaguely between Antauri and himself, “-is the answer. It’s about time you and I had a heart to heart. A real talk Antauri!”

Gibson watched as Antauri did not look up. No doubt not wanting to see his face as he shouted. Saw the battle going on as Antauri breath deeply in and out as his hands clenched tight in his lap.

Gibson reasoned this could go three separate ways. The first way would be that Antauri would debate back. Further deny that he was wrong and that he truly was fine, possibly even going so far as to point out that Gibson was only letting his emotions upset him to breaking point. Another way it could go would be that Antauri would just simply walk away leave and not look back until they both calmed down and he could try again later on. The last way would be Antauri relenting and initiating the talk itself, which was the one Gibson was most hoping for.

He knew Antauri would have to talk to the team eventually about the battle between Chiro, himself, and Skeleton King, the Dark One Worm, and what had happened in the remains of the Alchemist’s jungle lab. He knew he needed to speak with each one of them about the fallout of his death. The underlining feelings all of them had of the event would not go away unless a catalyst started the process.

Gibson knew Antauri wanted to be strong. That he felt he had to carry the burden of his failures with him, to learn from those mistakes and fight harder so he would never make them again in the future. That’s just how Antauri was. But Gibson did not want that for him. He knew none of the team wanted that for him. Knew the power primate itself didn’t want that for him. Simply being quite while they all suffered inside was never going to be the ideal way to heal. Gibson didn’t want to force Antauri, or any of the team, to talk when they very clearly did not want to but if they never talked they would never heal and it would always remain a painful thorn in their sides.

“Antauri. Please.” Gibson said with a sudden softness. Antauri finally opened his eyes and looked back up to him only to find Gibson had turned his head away looking beyond the table with sadness apparent on his face. Antauri followed his eyes to his wall where a number of pictures were hanging. Most of them were of the hyperforce, with some scenic landscapes scattered in between. Gibson’s eyes narrowed on to a single picture of all of them on Ranger 7.

He remembered it was the first time the monkeys took Chiro to outer space in the super robot. They had even let him pilot the robot from torso tank 1 that day since they had all agreed it would be both a good first time experience for the boy and it was a close enough destination to Shuggazoom that if it fell under attack they could quickly get back to fight.

Chiro himself was in the middle with Otto and Sprx on either side. Otto was smiling wide and Sprx was holding a ‘thumbs up’ to the camera. Nova was beside Sprx, giving her own ‘peace’ gesture and Gibson himself was besides Otto his arms behind his back and looking proud. Antauri, in his original body, was floating above Gibson and Otto with a serine smile on his face. He remembered that happier time fondly as he looked at the other surrounding pictures relishing in the abrupt quietness of the room.

“Antauri, I am worried.” Gibson started, breaking the silence. “We all are. You’re running yourself into the ground, carrying all of the team’s troubles on your shoulders while simultaneously carrying yours.” He looked back at Antauri. He could feel the bags under eyes growing, the sag of his shoulders, the way his tail drooped off his seat with not even a twitch of emotion left in it. The outburst had taken everything out of him.

“Antauri, you died. Deceased. Perished. That is..not something any living creature can just deal with. Even someone as highly trained as you it’s not something any creature can deal with without repercussions. Despite what you think or everything you were made to think Antauri, you’re still just one monkey. One monkey who can’t carry the burden of the entire universe, or even just this entire team all by himself.”

“None of us had any closure of your death. Even when the events in the Alchemist’s old laboratory past and you were resurrected as the silver monkey, we never talked about it afterwards. It still goes unsaid even now and you cannot tell me you haven’t seen some of the looks the team gives you when they see you.”

Gibson knew Antauri had seen them. The sad ones Otto, Nova, and Chiro gave him when they saw him first thing in the morning, especially after his return. The ones Sprx gave him when he thought Antauri wasn’t looking. The ones he was sure Antauri could feel as he repaired his systems when he was knocked unconscious…or offline would be the more appropriate term. The ones they shook off and tried to hide when Antauri asked if they were all right or if they needed to…

Talk.

Gibson reached out putting a hand on one of Antauri’s knees. “We can confide anything in you Antauri. We can tell you everything about us and we know you will listen because that is who you are. You want to help the people you love no matter what situation they are in and you want them to walk away reassured that everything is all right. But why can’t you confide anything in us the same way?”

Gibson locked onto Antauri’s eyes trying desperately to convey what he wanted to Antauri to hear. “Do you feel like you don’t trust yourself with your emotions? Do you feel like we cannot handle what you have to say? Do you honestly feel like ignoring the problem and walking away like it doesn’t matter, like it hasn’t impacted your life is the best way to heal from it? That trying to specifically focus on us and ignoring yourself when you have just as many grievances is perfectly fine? Do you think this is what any of us want for you?” He leaned back into his seat letting Antauri go.

“That is why I want you to talk to me. Really talk to me! As much as the team needs to speak and get this off our chests Antauri, so do you! If not now then at least at some point in the near future. If we can’t, I have no doubt that this will fester and eat us away from the inside out.” Gibson finished with a tired sigh. “I will reiterate that you have every right to walk away if you so choose, but please…”

That was it. That was all Gibson could do; all he could say. No more pushing as he left it up to Antauri to break the silence or walk out the door.

A long stillness plagued the room as Gibson closed his eyes, drained from head to tail as he leaned his head on one of his arms to rest. He could faintly hear the sound of Antauri’s slow calming breaths but he didn’t watch him for a reaction.

…

…

…

“I…” Antauri started slowly. “I am…”

He heard Antauri’s words catch in his throat. Heard as Antauri swallowed down the chocked out sentence and offhandedly wondered if he was doing that out of habit or if it actually helped clear his throat. He heard as Antauri tried again, slower than before.

“I am…worried Gibson. I am worried that what I have done was for nothing.”

Gibson opened his eyes in attention to the metallic monkey, but made no moves in his seat. Feeling like if he did he would disturb Antauri as he hesitantly tried to form the right sentences.

“I feel…like I have failed. I have failed Shuggazoom. I have failed the universe. I have failed all of you.” Antauri continued as he closed his eyes and looked down at the floor, shame creeping its way into his silver face.

“I did not see the warning signs when Mandarin was falling away into evil. I noticed a few things but I foolishly believed he would prevail, that he would fight it like we had been doing, like we were trained to do. I did not lie when I said I was at peace with what he has done, but his betrayal from the team had deeply hurt me at the time Gibson. I often thought back to the months…years we had spent on Carala Dhal and asked myself if I could have done more to save him. If I could have done anything to steer him back to us. Even though I now know the answer is that there wasn’t.”

Gibson sat up more in attention now, giving Antauri all of his focus as his words started to flow out more easily.

“I worry about Chiro so much. If I could take away half of the things Chiro has had to face from Skeleton Kings onslaught I would fight them myself a hundred times over so he would be safe, so he could enjoy his youth and innocence while he still has it. I too hate the fact that he only a child and yet he has already been through so much. I truly fear what the universe has in store for him and as much as I anticipate it I also dread the final battle between Skeleton King and us. If…when we make it to that point that is.”

Gibson noticed Antauri’s body was beginning to shake, slowly reverberating the emotions he had held onto for so long, and letting them pour out. He briefly thought about placing a comforting hand on his, or perhaps moving closer, something to let Antauri know it was all right but he stopped himself still not willing to disturb him.

“My masters…out of all the people I never would have thought would fall to evil, I though they could be an anchor. Someone who would have the answers to any mystical or physical problems with the power primate itself in the offhanded chance I did not have them. Someone I can fall back to when I myself cannot explain what is happening. And yet somehow, the purest beings in the universe, fell prey to the dark ones corruptions. Were it not for Chiro following his instinct and the rest of you following him soon after, I feel Zhan would have had the upper hand.”

Then Antauri sat completely still.

“And as for the Dark One Worm… I feel that that was my biggest failure yet Gibson. I had one chance to save the universe, to seal the Dark One before it even emerged to wreak havoc, one chance to save Chiro and all of you from a possible, terrible fate of sealing it up yourselves…and I failed. Not only did I not stop the Dark One Worm from emerging, I singlehandedly broke the team apart. Chiro transformed from the residual energy from the power primate I unleashed and ran away. Otto was heartbroken with grief, only staying strong because the rest of you needed him. Nova did not take charge being third in command as I thought she would, either still reeling from my absence or she could not control how chaotic things were becoming around her. And you and Sprx…

“At each other’s throats the second someone needed to take charge and continued to fight each other the entire time.” Gibson finished. “Not very team-like I would say”

“Indeed.” Antauri only offered a small sad smile at Gibson’s attempt at humor, but frowned again as he continued. “And even when we were reunited the Worm still corrupted world after world, solar system after solar system. Everything I had done was for nothing. I did nothing.

“You did what you thought would be best for everyone.” Gibson stated. "You did it all because you wanted to save the ones you love the most."

“And yet not involving any of you backfired tremendously.” Antauri looked down at his body, mindlessly following the groves and details on the metallic surface. “I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. To all of you. If not for my failure, than for what I have put you all through.”

“We do not blame you for what you did Antauri.” Gibson chided gently. “We all know sacrifices will have be made to ensure evil does not prevail in the end; it is something we’ve understood since our very creation. You know that, yes? Any possible anger that we have is more directed towards the unfairness of the universe. What we are frustrated about is your refusal to openly acknowledge what has happened, even going so far as to say it doesn’t matter.”

“Event though it truly does.” Antauri finished. “I am sorry Gibson. In my attempts to keep all of you from worrying about me I have unintentionally given you all even more reasons to do so. I have even worried the power primate enough to have it manifest an urge to fix the problem within you.”

He locked onto Gibson. “I promise you that in the future I will be more open to discuss my more negative feelings and doubts. If not, then I will at least try to be as transparent as I can to all of you.”

“You do not have to go so far Antauri. You are entitled to your privacy as much as any of us, and if you truly want to keep some things to yourself you have every right. But I will accept your apology on one condition.” Gibson said holding a pointed finger up for emphasis. “Could you please tell me why it seems like you are fighting harder and harder in spite of all of us being more than capable of holding our own?”

Antauri broke his eye contact and began to look around the room. It almost seemed to Gibson that he was…ashamed? Possibly embarrassed?

“To put it simply Gibson, I... still feel as if I have something to prove” Antauri stated, visibly steeling himself before he looked back up at Gibson. “Since I have been revived I felt as if I had to make up for lost time. Even more so I feel as if I need to prove to you all that I am still capable of protecting this team since I couldn’t when I tried to seal the Worm. I still want to protect you all, although perhaps you are right in the assumption that I have been taking it upon myself to shoulder more responsibility than necessary.”

“Like when you fought Skeletons King’s head all by yourself while we were trapped in the Worm?”

“Partly.” Antauri mused. “The main reason I fought alone was because I was the only one who could travel outside of the worm with my new body’s phasing ability. Skeleton King’s head did need to be destroyed if we were to grantee it would not cause the worm to somehow be revived yet again, and we all could not fight him before the detonation. I was only trying to cover all of the bases.”

“Fair enough.” Gibson concluded.

Both monkey sat in silence again. The weight was beginning to lift off Gibson’s shoulders as the minuets passed by and the uneasy feeling slowly was beginning to unravel and dissipate leaving him exhausted. He was thankful the conversation had actually gone well despite the beginning tension and his outburst. While he knew there were still many things that had to be done this was a start, a good one at that, and it could only continue to get better as more of these emotions were brought to light, from him, from Antauri, and eventually from the rest of the monkey team as well. Before Gibson could think of something else to talk about to ease the situation further Antauri spoke.

“I am…certain you have questions about where I went when I…perished. Or some about what it was like? I would be willing to answer them to the best of my ability, though I cannot grantee I can answer everything.”

Gibson thought about it. He was more than curious as to the logics around Antauri’s revival, even more so since Antauri has a first person view of it all. Or at least he thinks he did. And while it would logically be the next step in the conversation he concluded that it should be a talk for another day. Perhaps one the entire team needed to be present to hear if Antauri was willing.

“I am curious Antauri, you know more than anyone once there is a question asked I would do my darndest to find the answer. However, I think best we save that for a later date. I think we’ve made substantial progress in this whole mess of emotions, but I believe it’s best we still take small steps for now.”

Antauri nodded, expelling a quiet relieved sigh. “Thank you for this council Gibson. I did not know that in my attempts to ease your troubled mind, you would be the one to ease mine. I had always thought that I could control myself; keep all of my emotions in check so they do not run amok in the worst of moments, but I suppose the only thing I’ve accomplished is keeping them stagnant, and even worse it has caused you all worry and stress.”

Gibson nodded. “Thank you for opening up to me as much as you have Antauri. I know being more open and vulnerable is not something you enjoy but I am happy you have trusted me enough to start. And we are all willing to hear what you have to say. All of it. We are a team after all.”

“Indeed.” Antauri agreed and smiled as he rose from his seat. He walked over to Gibson, still in his chair, and offered a hand to the scientists. “Though now that the conversation has been postponed for another time, perhaps now we can attend to an even more urgent matter?”

“Which would be?”

“That wound to your side still has not been treated. I think it best we head to the med bay to bandage it up properly before it becomes detrimental to your health.”

Gibson looked down at the scorch mark in his side. It was no different than when Antauri walked into the room, but he would admit it gave off a dull throb now that he was once again aware of it. “I suppose it is time I addressed that isn’t it?” Gibson asked rhetorically as he took Antauri’s hand and stepped off his chair with a quiet grunt.

“That would be wise.” Antauri responded as they walked to Gibson’s door, letting go of blue monkey’s hand and keeping a lingering but comfortable distance by his side. “Perhaps we could also take a moment to reunite with the team to let them know you are all right? You had been in this room for a few hours before I stopped by and they had been very worried about your behavior this morning.”

“That could be arranged.” Gibson sighed as he and Antauri exited his room and made their way down the hall.