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let me love you

Summary:

On a particularly warm Wednesday night, Kaworu watched his beloved and thought about the past.

Notes:

This is the first fic I’ve ever posted to AO3! I’m really excited to contribute to the Evangelion fandom, and to KawoShin!

Work Text:

On a particularly warm Wednesday afternoon, Kaworu watched as Shinji typed out an essay.

He had to admit it was nice, watching hands that had been hurt, beaten, and broken more times than he could count in action, healthy, beautiful and bronze in a way that only Shinji was really capable of.

But really, more than anything, he wanted those brilliant blue eyes on him rather than the computer screen. Whatever he was typing didn’t matter.

When the loop reset, it would all come tumbling down. Forgotten. They would begin again and Shinji would become glassy-eyed. He would see him as a stranger, something to wary of.

He wanted to leave him with something, before it ended again. It wouldn’t be permanent (it was never permanent. No matter how hard he tried Shinji was always left broken. Left with blood and bile in his mouth and no life in his eyes Left behind.) but it was better than nothing.

He had become close to Shinji in this timeline, telling-secrets-in-the-dead-of-night close, sharing-breath-and-stealing-kisses-in-empty-classrooms close.

But he could become closer. He could never be close enough to Shinji, really.

Kaworu held his Shinji’s and dragged his lips over the soft skin of his wrist.

Red filled Shinji’s cheeks, and he jumped. “K-k-Kaworu?”

Kaworu hummed and placed a kiss on Shinji’s hand, eliciting a small noise. “Yes, Shinji?”

“What are you doing?”

Kaworu shrugged and nipped at Shinji’s finger. “Dunno. Why do you ask?” He said, his voice husky. He raised himself to a sitting position.

Shinji was a blushing, stuttering mess. “W-w-well, I, uh-“

He silenced him with an open-mouthed kiss. Shinji reciprocated, and slid his tongue against Kaworu’s.
They break apart to catch their breath, and Kaworu looks at Shinji, his eyes full of love and adoration.

He reached out to caress Shinji’s cheek, and tucked his face into the crook of his neck, breathing deeply just to get that pure Shinji smell.

“Kaworu! You’re getting so close...”

Kaworu kissed the soft, clean skin of his neck.

“Is there something wrong with wanting to be close to you, Shinji?”

He placed another kiss on Shinji’s lips and felt triumphant as he relaxed and leaned into the kiss.

Shinji let himself be pushed down, and his small, lithe body was covered by Kaworu’s slightly taller frame. The laptop was pushed to the side, forgotten.

Kaworu pressed himself closer to Shinji, and easily unbuttoned his cotton white school shirt. He clasped their hands together as he he trailed a thin, pale finger down his chest.

“Do you want to be close to me, Shinji?”

Shinji’s face was flooded with red, and his breath came out in short gasps. In his overwhelmed state, he uttered a single word.

“Yes.”