Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

January 26, 2018

6:46 A.M.

Bow: Asjhdskw too early

7:15 A.M.

Bow: u awake?

7:55 A.M.

Bow: Adora where are u

Bow: Adora???

There’s a SOLD sticker on the Real Estate sign outside the crumbling yellow house on Aviary street. It’s an ironic name for the street, which is as dry in summer as a desert, the concrete cracked and sticky in some places. Adora’s never seen more than a few sparrows there, perched high above on the wires with the faded sneakers. 

She stops, curious. The clouds open up a little as she stands and stares, letting sunlight flow down onto her neck and shoulders. A few cars drive past on their way to work.

The house has been on sale for a year now, but Adora knows it’s been abandoned for longer. She walks past it every day on the way to school and usually it doesn’t earn more than a second glance, but now there’s a SOLD sticker covering up the FOR SALE and its bright red and large and she finds herself staring at it and wondering who could possibly move in. In her neighbourhood, abandoned houses stay abandoned. 

It’s then that her phone goes off deep within her pocket. Startled, she pulls it out and looks down at the screen. It’s Bow.

“Hello?”

“Adora! Where the heck are you?!”

Adora flinches and pulls the phone away from her ear slightly. “I’m on my way, dude. Give me, like, ten minutes.”

Bow makes a noise on the other end that sounds like a balloon losing air. “Babe,” he squeaks. “Do you have any idea what time it is? Coach is gonna kill you if you’re not here in three.”

Adora’s heart leaps into her throat. She brings the phone down from her ear and checks the time. Shit.

“Shit!”

Bow starts to speak again, but Adora’s already hanging up, sprinting down Aviary street with her sports bag banging painfully against the back of her thighs. The yellow house with the sold sign is forgotten. For now, at least.

Soccer trials start a week before the school year. One day of gruelling fitness tests, one day of playing, a day of rest when the team is announced, and then training begins. Thanks to the sold house, Adora’s nearly late to day one. She’d already slept in so time wasn’t exactly in her favour. 

She arrives at the field out of breath and sweating and earns a disgruntled look and snappy comment from Coach Hunter. Awkwardly, she hovers for a moment in case there’s more reprimanding to come, but it seems that for once she’s in the clear.

Bow comes up behind her and loops his arm through hers, muttering “I can’t believe you,” under his breath.

Adora twists to grin at him. “Oh ye of little faith. I’m on time, aren’t I?”

“Barely!” School hasn’t even started and yet Bow looks like he’s making a solid attempt at getting premature stress lines before twenty. “It’s the first day of trials and you’re up for captaincy! Why are you like this? Do you want Coach to come for you in your sleep?”

Adora brushes him off, laughing. They relax into easy stretches, pairing up as they usually do. Nearby, Coach begins to yell at Mira who's just arrived, still dressed in casual clothes. No matter how late Adora is she can always count on Mira to be later.

Coach starts them off with laps of the field, and Adora and Bow take the lead with ease. For a while they jog in companionable silence, the only sound their laboured breathing and the distant hum of traffic. 

When they’re a safe distance from the rest of the team, Bow asks, “Have you heard?” 

“Way to be vague, Bow.”

“The Horde?” Bow prompts. 

The Horde is their rival team from the neighbouring school. By rival team, Adora really means sworn enemies. Possibly arch-nemeses if you want to be dramatic (which she is). 

Whatever it is Bow knows about the Horde, she has not heard. 

Bow says, “Rumour is they have a new captain from out of town.”

“You’re kidding! A new captain?” This is bad news. This is very bad news. Without realising, she runs faster, legs pumping furiously to keep up with her racing mind. “We haven’t even finished trials! And it’s a new kid?” 

Adora is too breathless to continue her freak-out, but Bow seems to get the sentiment.

In a town where not much happens, the decades-old battle between the two football teams has grown intense enough split the whole town in half. Princess and Horde alumni get into fights in the local bars, their kids only go to the school their parents went to. Most of the town shows up to their football games to scream support and trash-talk the other team. It’s not often they get newcomers, but when they do they’re quick to pick a side. If the Horde has a new captain from out of town, they have an advantage over the Princesses, and Adora (a Princess through and through) cannot allow such a thing to happen.

They hit the next lap and Adora ups their pace even more, much to the annoyance of the other runners. Rivalry is a strong incentive, she supposes. By the time coach calls them back in they’re all panting heavily. There’s a sharp burn building in Adora’s thighs thanks to a long break over the summer.

Coach gets them doing ab workouts. The only upside of this apart from the mad gains is that it allows for more talking, and Bow is quick to pass the rumour onto the other seniors. One by one, the other students start to work faster and harder. For once, Coach looks a little impressed. Adora breaks the current team record for the plank hold and earns a clap on the back. Mira actually tries during press ups. Sean Hawkins quits showing off and focuses for once in his life.

Trials finish with everyone exhausted, but pleased. Coach has a glint in her eye as she surveys the breathless and sweaty teenagers collapsed before her.

“I must admit, that was better than I expected. You’ve all got a good chance of making the team this year. I want everyone back here tomorrow at eight, and not a second later.” She meets Adora’s eyes, then Mira’s, her face hardened in stern warning. “No exceptions.”

School hasn’t started so the changing rooms are locked. Everyone packs up their things and heads out, stinking to high heavens and drenched in sweat. The seniors gravitate towards each other to walk in a pack and Adora and Bow finally have a chance to greet everyone after a summer apart. The reunion is brief and all too quickly turns back to football, as it usually does with them.

“So what’s this about a new captain?” Natasha asks. She’s arm in arm with Ella, her long term girlfriend of three years. Adora can’t seem to look away from their casual touches, the place where their arms are linked.

“Erica told me,” Bow explained. “Apparently she’s super good. Starting striker for her last school.”

“You still talk to Erica?”

“Yeah? Erica’s cool.”

“I’m still angry she joined the Horde.” 

Bow shrugs. Erica is the one exception to his unwavering loyalty to the Princesses. Apparently they did an engineering elective together once when she was still in their school and they’ve been tight ever since.

Puawai, bless her, quickly steers the conversation back on course. “Do we actually know who the new captain is?”

“Absolutely no idea.”

“She can’t be any better than Adora.” Sean Hawkins, their resident idiot, throws an arm around Adora’s shoulders which she gently removes. “We can crush her and the Horde easy.”

“Just because Adora’s amazing doesn’t mean other people can’t be, like, better than her,” Mira points out. Hawkins instantly throws his other arm around her shoulders instead and she shoves him away.

Around her, the team starts to bicker good naturedly. Adora looks down at her feet. Her chest feels tight. She doesn’t like the unknown, and she’s not used to people being better than her. 

She knows that Mira’s right, that there’s a small chance of the new captain being on a whole new level of football to her. Maybe even a big chance. The thought is terrifying.

“Guys, it doesn’t matter how good their captain is,” Bow says. He nudges Adora in the back of the thighs with his bag, inadvertently almost knocking her over in his subtle show of solidarity. “Football is a team sport. If we work hard, they can’t even hope to beat us, no matter who leads them.”

There’s a reason why Bow is Adora’s best friend. The rest of the seniors are nodding along, looking a little more confident. She really hopes Bow makes captain, even though that means giving up the position herself. Bow always knows what to say.

They reach the turnoff to her street and she stops gratefully.

“Well, this is me. I’ll see you all tomorrow morning."

She waves as she breaks away from the group and jogs down the road. She doesn’t wish her friends good luck for the last day of trials. They’re all going to get in, one way or another. Adora smiles as she walks home, ready for what the new year will bring. 

____________________ 

January 28, 2018

11:27 P.M.

Bow has added Adora and 13 others to the group chat

Bow has changed the group chat name to Princess Alliance 2k18

Bow: Huge congrats to everyone that made it onto the princesses this year!!! And extra big congrats to our new captain adora!!!

Bow: As per tradition we will be holding the team party at the captains house tmo. Further details to come 

Francesca: Don’t we have morning training the day after?

Bow: Haha cute 

Sean: ah to be young and responsible

Sean: @Francesca isnt it past your bedtime

Francesca: I’m 15 fuck you

Bow: Asdfghkl who taught you that word?!?!??!

Sean: Thats a fat dollar in the swear jar

Mira: Are we really keeping the swear jar going this year

Bow: Clearly we have to

Francesca: @Adora how do I quit the team

Francesca: @Adora please I’ve made a mistake

Adora: hawkins stop harassing my team

Sean: uh bow is literally doing the same thing

Sean: this is favoritism

Adora: my rules now

Puawai: Hi everyone! What are the plans for the party??

Adora: BYO at mine 8pm (ill send my location to the gc)

Adora: YEAR 11S NO DRINKING

Adora: y12s u can but ur on thin freakin ice

Puawai: <33333

Ella: Well done on your captaincy Adora! And you too Bow for vice captain! Nat and I were rooting for you <3

Natasha: do yall know what this means

Natasha changed Adora’s nickname to Captain She-ra

Natasha changed Bow’s nickname to Vice Mom

Natasha changed her own nickname to guardian of the net

Natasha changed Puawai’s nickname to bad vegan

Natasha changed Ella’s nickname to Lightofmylifeandonlyvalidmemberoftheteam

guardian of the net: Princess Rebellion AGM/Wii Sports Championships gc may be dead but its members live on 

guardian of the net: oh and welcome to the new players i guess

Vice Mom: rip Princess Rebellion AGM/Wii Sports Championships gc

Francesca: She-ra?

Captain She-ra: its an inside joke

Sean: what about my nickname :(((((((

Natasha changed Sean’s nickname to seagull

Sean changed his own nickname to seaHAWK

Mira changed Sean’s nickname to seagull

seagull: :’(

Mira changed her own nickname to seamonster

Vice Mom: Awwwww matching nicknames

seamonster: Die.

seamonster: I just wanted a better nickname that made hawkins feel bad

Vice Mom: I mean I guess

bad vegan: Guys can we please let the vegan thing go :(

guardian of the net: not until uve redeemed urself bad vegan

bad vegan: Please I had no idea marshmallows weren’t vegan

guardian of the net: that sounds like a u problem 

Lightofmylifeandonlyvalidmemberoftheteam: @guardian of the net Babe this nickname is embarrassing!

guardian of the net: whats wrong with it

guardian of the net: im just stating the facts

seamonster: Thats a dollar for the PDA jar

guardian of the net: what PDA jar???

seamonster: The one I just made @guardian of the net you owe me a dollar

Ella changed her own nickname to Ella <3

guardian of the net: this is bullying im being bullied

Ella <3: Sorry babe :(

Francesca: Is this chat really for football or is this some kind of messed up punishment 

Francesca: I’m sorry for whatever I did can I leave the chat now

seagull: ur on the team now theres no leaving the chat

Francesca has left the group chat

seagull: shit

Vice Mom: Thats a fat dollar in the swear jar

seagull: heck

Adora has added Francesa to the group chat

Captain She-ra: sorry @Francesca but the group chat is where u get important team updates

Vice Mom: Its also a great way to get to know your teammates!

Captain She-ra: teamwork makes the dream work

Francesca: How dare you say something like that unironically

Captain She-ra: who said it was unironic

Francesca: Ew that's worse you can't quote memes you're old

Captain She-ra: im 17?????

Captain She-ra: im 2 years older than u???

Francesca: I'm so sorry does it hurt?

Francesca: How are you not dead?

Captain She-ra: the audacity!!!

Vice Mom: I think shes still upset about being treated like a child

Captain She-ra: that was u and hawkins! Why am i the one getting mocked??

Francesca: You're the Captain you represent the interests of the team

Francesca: and I'm interested in ribbing your team

Captain She-ra: how do i resign

_____________________

Bow comes over to Adora’s house mid afternoon the day of the post-trials party. When the door opens he literally throws himself into Adora’s unsuspecting arms with a delighted whoop and both of them go toppling over.

“You did it!” he yells, still crushing Adora with his whole body which now has her pinned to the ground. “You’re Captain!”

“I know!” Adora gasps. She tries to roll out from underneath him but he pulls her back into a spine-breaking hug.

“I’m so freaking proud of you, babe.”

“Bow, I can’t breathe.”

“Oh, right.”

Bow helps pull her back up to her feet, still grinning like a maniac. Adora hasn’t seen him this happy since Carly Rae released her single Cut To the Feeling the year before. It’s a little embarrassing, but also she can’t help but feel pleased as well. She worked hard for this.

“Hey, let’s not forget who got vice as well!” she reminds him.

“Aaaah! I’m so freaking excited!”

Bow picks her up and spins them both around, as if to prove just how excited he is. Adora is torn between screaming and laughing. From her mouth erupts something that’s a little bit of both. 

Instead of putting her down, Bow carries her all the way through to the kitchen yelling, “We’re going to crush the Horde this year!”

By the time he deposits her on the counter they’re both giggling, riding happiness like a drug. Bow clears a space and hops up beside her so that they’re both perched on the edge of the bench, surrounded by clutter and fruit.

“So, how are you feeling?”

“Great!” The response is automatic. Adora does not feel great. Instantly she feels guilty for lying, despite all her instincts telling her to put on a brave face. Bow is her best friend, he deserves her honesty. She settles for a half truth. “I’m a little nervous. This is a lot of responsibility. If we lose to the Horde half the town is gonna hate my guts.”

“Aw, babe, you'll be fine.” Bow knocks their shoulders together gently. “Remember I'm here to support you- as your vice and your friend. Have you told Glimmer yet?” 

“Yeah! She said she was proud of both of us and was really sad she couldn’t be here for the party.”

“I’m sad she can’t be here too.” 

Glimmer is their best friend, the third crucial member of what Bow has dubbed the Best Friend Squad (yeah, he’s bad at naming- everyone has their faults.) She’s still away on holiday and won’t be returning until the start of the school year, much to Adora and Bow’s dismay.

"Speaking of the party, I figured you’d need some help setting up.”

“Yes, oh god, yes.” Has she mentioned Bow is a literal saint? “Bow, no kidding, I actually love you.”

Bow laughs, elbowing her ribs teasingly. 

“I love you, too- no hetero. Now let’s get to work.”

There’s only a few hours before the team’s coming round and Adora’s house, as usual, is a tip. Her mother’s away visiting her brother down south and had left her a long list of chores Adora had stuck on the fridge and never looked at again. There’s a week’s worth of dishes piled up in the sink and sports gear hurled over random furniture pieces. The usual clutter of her house is somehow much, much worse.

Bow looks over the mess with an appraising eye, then nods as if coming to a conclusion.

“We’re going to need some 80s smash hits for this. Adora, get me the vacuum cleaner while I set us up.”

Bow puts on Hungry Heart and they get to work. It’s a hot day so Adora throws open all the doors and windows and they both strip down until they’re only in boxer shorts, Adora in her sports bra, and Bow not much more covered in a crop top. 

Valuables are stashed in her mum’s room, sports gear put back in its place in Adora’s room. Skeletor, her ancient and fat cat, is scooped up from inside the laundry basket and deposited into his own bed, yowling. Adora finally washes the dishes while Bow dances past her with the vacuum cleaner. Adora flicks suds at him and dips his finger into the bubbles and boops her nose.

They’re both still underage so Bow calls his older sister and she shows up half an hour later with vodka and delivers a strict and lengthy lecture on alcohol consumption that Adora and Bow have both heard before but listen to anyway, even though Adora has no intention of drinking.

“Wait, really?” Bow asks, shocked.

“I mean, yeah. I’m captain this year, so I have to set a good example for the juniors. Also, I need to look after everyone else’s drunk asses.”

Next up they hit the local dairy to grab snacks and mixers. Bow gets stuck in conversation with the cashier who he knows by name, as well as the names of all his children and grandchildren, who he asks about one by one. Eventually Adora just leaves. She’s halfway down the street when Bow realises she’s gone and chases after her.

Eight o’clock arrives with the first five members of the team. Bow has switched out his 80s playlist in favour of last year’s top hits and has elected himself into the position of bartender. Adora opens the door a little apprehensively. This is the first party she’s hosted and her first act as team captain. All apprehensiveness is crushed out of her when Sean Hawkins bounds through the open door and grips her in a bone breaking hug.

“Congratulations on your captaincy!” 

“Nice,” Mira intones behind them.

“I brought cider!”

A bottle is pressed into her hand and then the team pushes past her, slapping her back as they go by. From the kitchen she can hear Bow enthusiastically greeting everyone. She looks down at the bottle in her hand. A sketch of a sheep looks back up at her from the label. Huh.

“Adora, get in here!” 

She obeys. Something upbeat with a poppy drum line is now playing at full volume from the lounge. Bow drags her into the circle her friends have made and leaves her there to fend for her own.

“Bow says you’re not drinking, Adora!”

“Oh, yeah,” Adora puts her bottle down with the rest of the drinks and shrugs. “I figured since I’m captain I probably shouldn’t this year.”

“Wow, boring.”

“Don’t pressure her, Mira. Adora can do what she wants.”

“Thanks, Puawai. But trust me, the last thing I want to be doing is looking after your drunk butts later.”

Puawai sticks her tongue out at her, takes a swig of her drink, and pulls the finger. 

“Does that count as a dollar in the swear jar?” Hawkins asks, idly batting Puawai's hand down as a few scared juniors come in.

“We should charge her anyway.”

“Noooo!”

Adora leaves them to discuss and sets to welcoming the younger students, pouring them Coke and warning them not to drink or she and Bow will kick their collective asses.

More team members come over the next hour until finally the whole team is crammed in Adora’s living room, playing beer pong and shouting over each other. Adora hovers anxiously nearby with paper towels, regretting her vow of sobriety. Yet another drink is spilled, this time by Hawkins who’d been trying to do a trick shot between his legs.

Steadily, the team gets drunker. Bow challenges Hawkins to a slut drop battle (Hawkins loses). Some of the first years start doing karaoke. Ella and Nat haven’t been seen for a while now and Adora’s too wise to go looking for them.

In tears, Hawkins latches himself onto Adora’s arm. He’s sobbing something about slut drops and how much he loves Adora, but the words blur together and don’t make a lot of sense. Wordlessly, Adora hands him a bottle of water. She’s pretty sure that Hawkins isn’t even that drunk, he just has the stable mentality of a see-saw.

“Hey, Adora!”

Adora spins around and Hawkins is sent stumbling away. Francesca is looking up at her, arms folded.

“Your team is very drunk.”

“Our team,” Adora reminds her.

“Yeah, whatever. You have energy drinks here or something, right? They’re going to need them tomorrow.”

“Energy drinks aren’t a cure for hangovers.”

“Adora. It is midnight. The only person asleep is Ella. Everyone else will be up for at least four more hours because they’re too drunk and stupid to remember training starts at eight. Everyone is gonna want some energy drinks.”

“Oh.”

Francesca has made some very valid points. She seems to be aware of that too because she’s smirking up at Adora with the kind of superior attitude year 11s universally all have. Adora is only a little bit intimidated.

“I’ll make a supermarket run. Can you look after everyone while I’m gone?”

“For a price.”

Great. Adora can just tell it’s going to be a real joy captaining this kid. She folds her own arms in an attempt to look slightly more in charge but just feels kind of self conscious doing it. She sighs.

“What do you want?”

“Gummy Snakes.”

“Oh, that’s it?”

“What were you expecting?”

Adora, not wanting to give Francesca any ideas, shrugs. “I’ll get you some Gummy Snakes. Just make sure no one dies or throws up on the carpet.”

“No problem, captain.”

Francesca vanishes back into the mess of drunk footballers and Adora heads to her room to grab her wallet. As she’s leaving someone yanks her sleeve and once again she spins around.

“You okay, Pua?”

Puawai looks down at her, a red flush high on her cheeks and a telling empty bottle clutched loosely in her other hand. She nods and Adora relaxes slightly.

“M’fine. I wanted to ask you a thing.”

“A thing?”

“Yeah.” A vacant expression passes over her face. She looks down at the bottle in her hand then back up at Adora. “Y’know, it’s weird. I’ve drunk like, so much, but I feel toootally fine. So sober.”

“What was the thing you wanted to ask me?” Adora prompts.

“Oh yeah.” She pauses to stifle a burp. “Do you actually, really, think we can win this year?”

“Sure we can!” Oh god, don’t those words spark anxiety in her stomach. She sounds so fake it's painful. She forces a smile but it feels more like a grimace. “It's like Bow said. If we work hard there's nothing that can stop us.”

“But what if the Horde is really good this year? What if you’re not the best player anymore?”

Wow, drunk Puawai is really tapping into Adora’s anxieties here. Can she stop voicing the thoughts that have been plaguing her since her captaincy was announced? Maybe?

“Adora,” Puawai whispers loudly. She leans down unsteadily so that her mouth is somewhere near the vicinity of Adora’s left ear. “What if we can’t do it?”

She starts tipping over and Adora grabs her arm, helping her down to the floor where she can sit with the support of the wall. Puawai still looks like she’s waiting for the answer Adora’s unable to give. She tugs on her shoes to buy time.

“We’ll just have to see what the new captain’s like, won’t we?”

____________________

The first time she sees her is in the supermarket, an entirely unremarkable setting for a totally remarkable event- at least in Adora's mind. The girl is really… really hot. She's in the produce aisle reaching for the top shelf. It’s 1am.

Adora stops dead in her tracks at the end of the aisle and her trolley half threatens to escape her. The twenty or so Red Bulls she's neatly stacked up for her team rattle dangerously. The girl doesn't notice her staring.  She's inspecting an avocado, face scrunched in distaste. Adora thinks she has a nice face, though she can only see it in profile. She looks enticing.

At this time, the supermarket is empty except for them. Adora wheels her trolley away, then sharply spins it around and heads back the way she came, purposely slowing down as she reaches the avocado girl's aisle. She doesn't appear to notice. There's an orange in her hand now, being given the same rigorous inspection as the previous fruit.

Adora huffs and repeats the action a few times, eventually growing tired enough to kick hard at the ground and trolley ride past the aisle. Maybe its because it's 1am, maybe because the girl is insanely hot, but Adora is determined not to leave the building without being noticed. 

It looks like it's time to take things to the next level. Adora squares her shoulders and directs her trolley into the produce aisle, trying to rattle her trolley as much as possible as she draws nearer. She's now close enough to see the dyed streaks in her hair, the chipped black polish on her nails, the piercings lining her ears. Dear god, she's a goth. Adora is going to die. This isn't fair.

Suddenly Adora's feet have carried her all the way over to her. Goth avocado girl doesn't look up. And then she's moving past. She's moving past hot goth avocado girl towards the vegetables and her mind is screaming at her in incredibly colourful language. She forces her feet to stop and dares to cast a quick glance over her shoulder to where hot goth avocado girl is filling her trolley with stone fruit. Adora watches in horror as she picks up a peach and squeezes lightly. Damn, damn, fuck, damn.

Adora grabs wildly at the vegetables and throws a singular eggplant into her trolley with the Red Bulls. With the grace of a sixteen year old trying to parallel park she maneuvers her trolley around and heads back towards hot goth avocado girl in one last desperate attempt to catch her eye.

It doesn't work. She draws near, then level, and then once again she's passing her by without even a glance. Adora hangs her head, finally conceding defeat. She should probably make her way to checkout and return to the team party before they wonder why she's taking so long.

“Are you lost?”

Adora freezes. The voice is sarcastic and sultry, husky with a honeyed timbre but brightened by its teasing tone. Its sends shivers racing down Adora's spine.

“Uh… um…” Adora stammers. She needs to turn around. She really needs to turn around but Jesus, that voice is doing things to her and she can't think beyond the panicked voice in her head which keeps saying this isn't fair!

With superhuman effort, she un-clenches her hands from the trolley and turns to face the voice. Seeing the girl up close and personal is enough to send Adora spiralling into lesbian hell. The first thing Adora notices is the heterochromia, which quite frankly, shouldn't be allowed. 

Common sense out the window, her last two functioning brain cells somehow find some of the confidence she had before, and before she can stop herself her mouth is opening and saying “Only lost in your eyes.”

Hot goth avocado girl raises one perfect eyebrow (the one belonging to the blue eye) and smirks. Adora can feeling the heat rising fast up her neck and blossoming in her cheeks.

“I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that.”

“Don't worry,” the girl says, and flashes Adora a quick smile. “It was kinda cute. Weird… but cute.”

“I'm Adora,” Adora manages. She doesn't know how else to respond to a hot girl calling her cute. Her voice has gone slightly squeaky.

“Catra.”

Suddenly Catra's tossing her something and Adora reaches out to catch it automatically, hands fumbling because she can't seem to take her eyes off Catra's face.

“Well, I better go pay for all this before sunrise. I'm sure I'll see you around, Adora.”

“Oh, right! Yeah. Bye!”

Suddenly Catra's gone, disappearing from the aisle like a dream. Adora waits for a few seconds, stunned. She's not entirely sure what just happened. It occurs to her to look down at her hands, which are still holding the thing Catra had tossed her.

It's a peach.

This isn’t fair.

_____________________

Sean Hawkins has a terrible, unfortunate habit of making stupidly dangerous decisions while drunk. Usually it’s to impress someone, in this case Mira. It often is Mira these days, though Hawkins is too drunk to really read into that. She’s attractive. He’s attractive. Every single time Hawkins does a fancy play in soccer, she's the only one who ignores him.

He doesn’t really remember finding Adora’s hairspray. It’s there in his hand, innocent as anything, like he’s had it all night. He hasn’t- he thinks it arrived somewhere between when he rage quit mario kart and stormed out of the room and when he sheepishly returned, disappointed that no one had followed him. He’s not quite sure what he was doing between those times, though. Surely he didn’t go into the captain’s room…

His thoughts are interrupted by screaming as Mira takes the lead at the last second and finishes first, sending Puawai off a cliff. She’s so good at everything without even trying. It’s unfair. Hawkins will never be good enough for someone like her, never be enough for her. She won’t even look at him most days. And the worst part is she’s right not to do so. He’s useless apart from a few flashy soccer tricks and his singing voice, and even that she won’t listen to.

He looks down at the hairspray and an idea occurs to him. One of his terrible, dangerous ideas he only gets while drunk. He smiles.

“I have a trick,” he announces to the room. Most of them look up, warily. Mira’s eyes don’t stray from the TV. “I’m going to do it now. Mira, watch my trick it’s fucking great.”

He fumbles for the lighter in his pocket. By the time anyone realises what he’s about to do, it’s too late. A flame flickers into life, and then explodes as the hairspray is finally put to good use. The room erupts into screams.

At long last, Mira looks at him.

“Hawkins, what the fuck.”

________________________

“You are the most useless lesbian I have ever met.”

Adora groans and throws herself across the kitchen counter dramatically, face buried in her arms. Through the wall they can hear muffled screaming as the team fights over possession of the Xbox controller.

“She was so hot, Bow. You don't understand! I could've died in there.” 

Bow reaches over to pat her head pityingly.

“I don't think that's right, but okay.”

“Please tell me there's more vodka,” Adora begs. “I need to forget how embarrassing I was.”

“You told me you weren't drinking tonight,” Bow says disapprovingly. He's right. Training starts tomorrow and while coach is fully aware of the tradition of the new team partying the night before, it only makes her work them harder. Coach has a reputation for her sick sense of humour. “You're the new captain, you can't just show up to the first practice hungover.”

“I hate you.”

Bow laughs. “Love you too, babe.”

The screaming from the next room suddenly escalates and then Sean Hawkins, this year's right wing, is skidding into the room looking panicked.

“Everything's fine!” he announces, in a voice that clearly suggests everything is not, in fact, fine. 

Mira appears in the doorway behind him, looking unimpressed. “The couch is on fire.”

“Hawkins,” Adora growls. She can feel a headache starting to pound in her temples. “What. Did. You. Do.”

“I’m insulted that you think I did anything, Captain,” Hawkins pouts. “Where can I find a bucket of water?”

Bow, the real MVP of Adora's disastrous soccer team, leaps up to find a bucket. Adora leaps up to find the vodka while everyone's distracted. As captain, she knows all too well that she’s supposed to be setting a good example for the team. However after the night (technically morning) she’s had, there's no way on earth she can deal with a drunk Hawkins without being drunk on some level herself. Some people get affectionate or sad when drunk. Hawkins sets fire to things.

“Anyway,” Mira says, drawing out the word as Bow and Hawkins run past her armed with water jugs. “I’m going home. My mum won’t let me stay the night because of the boys. Good luck with… that.”

“Yeah,” Adora moans. The vodka bottle has been put on top of the fridge, just out of her reach. She tries to not stare too obviously as Mira checks her purse for her keys, but the alcohol is calling to her like a siren.“Thanks for coming. I’ll see you in a few hours if Hawkins doesn’t blow up my house.”

“I won’t keep my hopes up.”

Adora sighs and goes to find a chair. It’s going to be a long morning.

Chapter Text

Adora wakes up with an elbow digging into her spine and a pounding headache. She scrambles to get up, causing groans from the people collapsed around her, and a few half formed swear words are thrown her way. Adora decides to let them off paying the swear jar this time.

She stumbles into the kitchen and pours herself a glass of water. The room is a mess. She’ll need to clean that after practice before her mum gets home. The events of last night are slowly coming back to her, each more horrible than the last. Did Hawkins really set fire to her couch? Her mother's going to kill her.

“Morning, babe!”

Bow enters the room behind her, already dressed in his sports gear and looking far more awake than Adora.

“Hey, Bow.”

Bow rummages through the cupboards until he finds a box of Weet-Bix and helps himself to a generous serving. Adora steals one from his bowl before he can put the milk in and bites into it like a chocolate bar.

“That’s so gross,” Bow tells her. “I can’t believe you like dry cereal.”

“It’s crunchy.”

“Gross,” Bow repeats. “I’ve woken up the rest of the team. We’ve got about twenty minutes before we have to get to training.”

“Ew. Why did we think partying before training was a good idea?”’

Bow laughs and starts eating his cereal happily. It’s okay for him, he doesn’t get hangovers after drinking. Adora isn’t even a morning person. The thought of running laps is making her feel sick.

A few of the year 11s who hadn’t been drinking come into the kitchen looking bleary eyed and Adora helps them find breakfast. Even after the party, they seem a little terrified of her (with the exception of Francesca) but Adora hopes they’ll come around.

The rest of the team slowly assembles in a reluctant, groaning mess of headaches and football boots. Adora is sure she isn’t alone in feeling weirdly sticky. She definitely isn’t alone in bad breath, but hey, when no one on the team remembers to bring toothpaste to a party, what can you do? 

The time hits 7:45 and they pile out of the door, the sloppiest team on the North Island, miraculously on time for practice. Adora feels rather pleased with herself right up until she’s walking down Aviary street, her teammates in tow like baby ducks.

Because of course, everything terrible has to happen to Adora today, doesn’t it?

It’s that very morning on her way to practice with the worst hangover of her life that she discovers the new owner of the crumbling yellow house on Aviary street. It’s also the second time she sees… her.

Hot goth avocado girl has her back turned to Adora as she locks the front door of the house, but it’s her alright. Catra.

Adora stops dead in the middle of the street. The rest of the team files past her, oblivious. As if in slow motion, Catra turns around and their eyes meet. With horror, Adora sees a smile twitch across her face, and the slight narrow of her eyes as a hand is waved in hello.

“Hey Adora,” Catra calls. God, she practically purrs the greeting. It’s unfair the effect that has on Adora. She’s torn between calling back, fainting, and leaping into the air and shouting ‘wahoo!’ because Catra, the hot goth avocado girl from the supermarket last night, had remembered Adora’s name.

As if in a stupor, Adora slowly raises a hand and waves it, still trying to force her mouth to make words like normal human mouths do. Too late, however. Bow has noticed her absence and run back for her. 

“Sorry!” He calls to Catra. Adora stares at him, aghast. How can he speak to the beautiful woman before him so easily? How has he not been struck dumb in a purely platonic way by her beauty as Adora has? Even if he’s not straight, Bow still has eyes! “We have practice to get to,” Bow is shouting. “Gotta run!”

He grabs Adora by the arm and drags her back down the street to catch up to their rapidly departing team.

“She seems nice,” Bow murmurs into her ear as they walk. “I didn’t realise you knew the owner of that ghostly abandoned hovel of eldritch horrors. Didn’t you say it only just sold?”

“Bow.” Adora is still a little starry eyed. Also a little panicked. Also her head hurts kind of a lot. “That was Catra, the girl from the supermarket.”

“You’re kidding! Damn girl, you’ve got more game than I thought.”

“I am going to ignore that backhanded compliment because I’m too dead inside to fight you right now.” Bow grins, ever the morning person. How dare he not get hangovers? But never mind that, Adora has more pressing matters on her hands.  She lowers her voice to a whisper as they catch up to the rest of the team. “I’m so screwed, man. She remembered my name. She’s so cute and cool and she lives on my route to school, like, how am I supposed to deal with that every morning?” 

“Babe, you are so adorable. Pun fully intended.”

“Not helping, Bow.”

Needless to say, when coach Hunter’s ‘promising’ new team arrives looking like they’d contracted the plague, she is not remotely impressed. They spend the first twenty minutes running laps until Sean Hawkins stumbles into a bush and promptly throws up. Pre-training partying is henceforth banned.

Later, when Glimmer’s back and she and Bow are lying on Adora’s living room floor while Adora cuts away at the burned parts of her couch, Bow recounts the whole Catra story to get Glimmer up to speed on Adora’s abysmal love life. He tells it much better than Adora did, and adds in his own commentary for Glimmer’s amusement and Adora’s humiliation. Glimmer finds the whole situation annoyingly funny. Some friends she has.

___________________

It’s the day before school starts and Adora is in the kitchen eating dry cereal straight from the box. She doesn’t care what Bow says, it’s good. From the hallway, she hears the click of the lock as the front door is opened.

She’d prepared for this. She’d cleaned the house, mended the couch as best she could, finally called Bow and Glimmer over to help her with the mountain of chores she’d been avoiding.

Still. She doesn’t feel entirely ready when her mother bustles into the house, several bags in tow, calling out Adora’s name. In her last seconds of freedom, Adora finishes her mouthful slowly, then swallows. It’s a long walk from the kitchen to the living room.

Her mother has dropped her bags and is staring open mouthed at the couch. Adora had tried, she really had, but it’s still very obviously ruined. She winces, waiting, ready for the anger coming her way.

“Adora-”

“I made team captain!”

Maybe she isn’t ready. The words had come almost automatically, like some part of her had already decided to try and distract her mother’s wrath with the news. It works though. Her mother’s face goes blank for a second like a blackboard being wiped clean, then pride is rewritten across her features.

“Adora, why didn’t you tell me?” She laughs and pulls Adora into a tight hug. “I am so proud of you. I’m guessing the couch is the remains of a little celebration party?”

“Uh… yeah.”

“It was about time I re-upholstered it anyway. Oh, just wait until I tell everyone at work my daughter is the new captain of the Princesses. Karen will be so jealous. Her boys couldn’t even make the Horde.”

Adora thinks she has whiplash. She’d expected her excuse to at least distract her mother for a few seconds, but she didn’t realise it would work quite this well. She pulls out of her mother’s arms and at for the first time since her return, looks her in the eyes.

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? Even your brother didn’t make captain.”

“That’s because he quit to play rugby, mum.”

“And I have never forgiven him.”

Adora helps her mother pick up her bags and they move everything into her bedroom, her mother chatting the whole way about how Adam is doing in his summer course. Adora thinks she’s got off scott-free and is about to make her excuses and retreat back to the kitchen when her mother shuts the bedroom door, trapping her.

“So,” she says pointedly. With a sinking feeling, Adora realises that she was wrong. Her mother smiles and oh god, she knows that smile. She knows it too well. “Were there any boys at this party of yours?”

“Mum.”

“Oh please, I’m not stupid. A party with your team? I’m betting there was alcohol. And your friend Bow can be quite easy on the eyes. You know, one thing leading to another...”

“Oh my god, mum! I didn’t sleep with Bow!”

Her mother winks. “Then maybe Sean Hawkins? I can see that.”

Adora groans. She’d rather be anywhere but here right now. The thought of what her mother is implying makes her insides squirm.

“I didn’t sleep with any of my teammates,” she states, slowly and clearly to try and get the message into her mother’s head. “I don’t intend to sleep with my teammates. I want you to stop asking.”

“I just worry,” her mother wines, and her eyes go wide. “You never talk to me about these things. You’re captain now, I bet all the guys at school are lining up to date you. There’s nothing wrong with wanting them back. You know, Susanne from the office’s boy, Harry, was dumped recently. I could set you two up on a blind date? Or even a boy from the Horde! I know I’m usually against them, but even I have to admit that that Lonnie kid is quite a cutie.”

“Lonnie’s a girl.”

“Oh! Oh. Not Lonnie then.”

Adora frowns. She’s done with this conversation. She knows there’s nothing wrong with liking boys. That isn’t the problem here. But she can’t let her mother know that. No, that is one thing she can never know.

“I’m going to do school work,” she mutters and yanks open the door.

Her mother calls after her, sounding confused. “School hasn’t even started yet!”

“I’m getting a head start.”

At dinner, they both pretend the conversation never happened. Instead, Adora puts on Blue Planet and they sit in near silence until Adora announces she’s going to bed. She kisses her mother goodnight, then escapes to her room.

In the morning, Adora leaves for training before her mother can wake up. It’s the start of another year.

Chapter Text

Glimmer is the first of their group to get invited to a house party. This comes as a surprise since Bow and Adora are both jocks and according to society should be the ones invited to parties. As usual, society has let them down. Thankfully, it’s the kind of party where plus ones are welcome, or in Glimmer’s case plus twos. 

She brings it up on movie night, while they’re all wearing face masks and waiting for their nail polish to dry. There’s a Barbie movie playing in the background that none of them are watching. Bow is doing Buzzfeed quizzes that make no sense to Adora. How can a quiz tell you who your soulmate is based on your favourite pasta? It doesn’t make any sense.

“So...” Glimmer draws out the word until she has both their attention. “I’ve kinda been invited to a party. Like, one with alcohol. Kaia from Poly club is hosting. I was wondering if you guys would like to come too?”

Waiting until they were incapacitated by nail polish was a good move on Glimmer’s part. It stops Bow from jumping on her in his excitement.

“A party?” he gasps. “You’ve been invited to a party?” 

“Isn’t that what I just said?”

“I don’t know,” Adora muses. “Kaia’s super popular, things could get out of hand.”

Bow continues as if he didn’t hear her. “It’s not even March! Babe, I’m so proud of you!” 

“It’s not a big deal,” Glimmer says bashfully. “She invited everyone in Poly club.”

“Still.”

“I’m only going if both of you go too, though,” Glimmer adds. “It’s right after your first game, you could use it to blow off some steam.”

Bow turns his best puppy eyes on Adora at lightning speed. The swift change of his attention leaves her reeling.

“Pleeease Adora! I’ll buy you a milkshake~” 

“Bow, you can’t bribe me into going to a party!”

“I’ll respect your authority at football practice?”

So maybe Adora can be bribed. Reluctantly, she nods. Bow whoops and throws himself at her and Glimmer and they scream indignantly as he smudges all their nail polish in the ensuing chaos. 

_______________________

Of course, before Adora can go partying there’s a game. There always has to be a game, football is her life after all. And this isn’t just any game, far from it. This is the first Princess versus Horde game of the season. The pressure on Adora to prove herself as captain could be likened to that of a deep sea diver who’s sunk just a little too far.

They arrive at the Horde campus shortly after school, boots tied and socks pulled up to the knees, generating the potential energy of a rubber band, pulling tighter and tighter and tighter. The Princesses are hellhounds ready to be let loose, and Adora holds the leash.

Coach Hunter parks the van and they clamber out messily. Adora notes that there’s already a good chunk of the neighbourhood here to watch, filling up the few available seats and standing on the sidelines expectantly. From the throng of people, Glimmer waves, still in her school uniform. A bit of Adora’s nerves settle. From behind Glimmer emerges her mother, also waving and still in work clothes. Adora’s nerves return full force.

Bow notices Adora’s line of focus and grimaces slightly.

“Hey, at least your mum is here. I don’t think my dads have ever come to a game.”

“Probably because you lied to them and said you’d joined book club?” Adora points out. “Please, I’d swap with you if I could.”

“Your mum isn’t that bad.” He waves enthusiastically at Adora’s mother. “Hi Marlena!” 

Adora thumps his arm. She knows he’s just triggered an interrogation from her mum about her and Bow’s relationship status. Again.

Coach Hunter calls the team into a huddle to discuss line up and Adora goes thankfully. Her team stands in a messy circle, stretching and drinking, all listening attentively to Coach. The first years are all shaking with nerves, with the exception of Francesca, who looks unfazed as usual. Hawkins is stretching, though flexing is probably a better word for it. His eyes keep dancing over to Mira who’s watching the coach boredly. 

“I think that’s everything,” Coach finishes, casting a critical eye over the team. “Does everyone understand?” There’s a murmur of agreement. “Good. Adora, it’s time for the coin toss.”

Adora’s stomach lurches uncomfortably. Somehow, she’d forgotten about the coin toss. The coin toss means facing the other captain. At long last, she’s going to meet the new kid. And she’s terrified.

“Good luck!” says Bow. Someone claps her on the shoulder. 

She leaves the huddle to find the ref in the centre of the pitch. On the other side of the field, a member of the Horde splits off from the rest of their team and approaches.

At first, it’s as if the Horde captain is just a red uniform, another faceless enemy to defeat. It’s not until they get closer that Adora realises with a jolt that she knows them. But it can’t be… Surely not. But they’re getting closer and that smug smirk is awfully familiar. No. There’s no way that-

“Hey, Adora.”

Catra smiles at her, slowly. Adora thinks, Cheshire Cat.

“What… what are you doing here?”

“Haven’t you heard? I’m the Horde’s new captain.” Ignoring the ref between them entirely, she steps closer. “I guess that makes us rivals now.”

Adora refuses to back down, though Catra’s proximity is making her feel boxed in despite the open space. Against all her instincts, she steps closer. Her mind is a whirlwind of confusion. This can’t be happening, it isn’t fair!

“You chose the wrong team, newbie.”

Adora’s half thought out words were meant to be threatening, but Catra looks delighted by them, like a cat with a new toy. She smirks up at Adora. They’re now only mere inches apart.

“Bold words. Why don’t you prove them to me on the pitch, princess?”

They’re interrupted by the ref clearing his throat awkwardly. Adora springs back, blushing hard. When the coin is presented she stumbles over her words before picking heads. It comes up tails. Catra blows her a sarcastic kiss before they both turn and head back to their own teams. Somehow, Adora feels like she’s already lost.

She reaches her team, feeling numb. She still can’t get her head around the horrible irony of it all, the unfairness of the situation she’s found herself in.

“I asked around,” Natasha says quickly. “Her name’s Catriona. She only just moved here over summer and she totally crushed the Horde in tryouts. Couldn’t find much else out, except that she’s not much of a team player. Sorry Adora.”

“Don’t worry about it. What’s most important right now is that we win.” 

“Adora’s right,” Coach agrees, slapping a large hand down on her shoulder. “I want you to ignore everything you’ve heard about this girl and just play your best game. Got it?” The team nods quickly. “Good. Now get out there and destroy them.”

Everything seems to happen so fast after that. One moment Adora is leading the team cheer, the next they're taking their positions on the field. The ball is at Catra’s feet, where she’s standing on the centre-line, her vice, Sonia, standing beside her. Adora is positioned opposite her, close enough to snarl at her stupidly attractive rival. Catra just winks in response.

And then the whistle blows.

It’s like Adora has stepped into one of her nightmares. Catra kicks off, and from the moment her foot reconnects with the ball it’s clear that winning comes as naturally to her as breathing. It doesn’t take long for Adora to realise she’s no longer the best player on the pitch.

The Horde run circles around her own team. Adora plays centre forward so there’s not much she can do but watch helplessly as Catra weaves and ducks around their defence, almost cat-like in her movements and impossibly fast. The Princesses just can’t keep up. It takes twenty minutes and a goal before coach shifts up the positions so Adora is in midfield. One of the first years is sent into Adora’s usual position, a kid with an accurate kick but little experience. Adora can see from their face that they know they’re being purposely removed from the action. She would feel bad but… winning is more important.

The Princesses are now playing the defensive game. Adora finds herself head to head with Catra and she charges forward, blocking her from moving past. Catra feints but she reads it and the satisfaction she gets when the ball goes flying towards Bow is unrivalled by anything she’s felt all year, with the exception of seeing Catra’s annoyed face.

The next time she tackles her, Adora isn’t so lucky. Catra twirls around her so fast Adora nearly falls in her haste to turn and then she’s off, too fast for Adora to keep up. The only thing that prevents the second goal is Natasha who barely manages to bat the ball away with the tip of her fingers.

The third time they meet Catra kicks the ball neatly between her legs and Adora nearly cries with frustration. Another goal is scored and Adora can only stand there, whole body rigid with anger. She can hear her mother shouting from the sidelines above the roar of the Horde supporters but she can’t make out the words over the rushing in her own ears. She doesn’t want to.

Half time finally comes and the team gathers together on the sideline, their shoulders slumped and heads hanging. Adora barely takes in coach’s pep talk, just nods when everyone else does and tries not to stare at where Catra is standing with her own team. She leads the team cheer again though it lacks any real spirit. Coach stops her just before the walk on and asks her gently if she’s okay to keep playing. That’s nearly the last straw for Adora. She snaps back, saying of course she is, she’s the only one who can stand up to Catra, and Coach just shrugs before letting her go on. By the time the whistle blows she’s completely undone.

It’s their kick off so they have the advantage. They start strong, getting the ball slowly around the Horde’s first line of defence. They even manage to get the ball all the way to the Horde’s goal before Erica snatches it up from Bow’s feet and hurls it back down the field. And then it’s the first half all over again. Any hope the team might have entertained dies there.

It’s a fast game after that. The Princesses simply aren’t ready for the force that is Catra. Not even Adora, the town’s best player in at least a decade, is successful in her tackles more than a third of the time. The Horde scores another two goals, both from Catra, before the game finally, mercifully, ends.

They had been mid tackle again when the whistle was blown. Catra starts to say something to Adora, the ball forgotten at her feet, but Adora is already storming off the pitch, embarrassment, anger and shame burning inside her like wildfire. The last thing she wants to do right now is listen to anything Catra has to say.

Not even coach has the heart to be angry after such a disgraceful defeat. She just stands there, silently for a few painful moments, before telling them she’s extending their weekly training sessions. No one complains.

Adora leads the cheer for the other team and it’s the most unenthusiastic cheer she’s ever heard. The teams meet on the pitch to shake hands. She can’t bring herself to look any of them in the eye, especially not Catra. No, not all the power in the world could make Adora look into those two-coloured eyes just then. 

She takes Catra’s hand in her own. They’re both sweaty and their palms slide against each other. In a burst of anger, she squeezes Catra’s fingers, hard. Catra squeezes right back. When they release Adora’s hand aches so much she barely notices the lingering brush of Catra’s fingers against her wrist, touch so soft as to be almost flirtatious. It takes all of Adora’s willpower not to punch her in the face. 

Catra leans in as she walks past and whispers, “Good game.”

Then she’s gone and now Adora is shaking hands with the vice captain, Sonia. Even after she’s made her way down the whole team however, she can still feel Catra’s strong grip around her hand, smell her scent…

Her mother approaches her as she’s packing her things, face a mask of sympathy, but not good enough to hide the disappointment that lies in the cracks, like the grout in their shower tiles.

“You played very well, hon.”

“No, I didn’t.”

Adora pulls the zip on her sports bag so hard it nearly rips off. Instead it jams in defiance and Adora uses it as a ready excuse to not look her mother in the eye.

“I brought the car if you want a ride home.”

“I’m going back with Glimmer.”

She’s not. She’s going to Kaia from Poly Club’s party and she’s going to get so drunk she no longer feels like a loser. If there’s one thing that can wipe away the guilt and anxiety she’s feeling for a night, it’s alcohol.

Her mother seems to pick up on that there’s more to Adora’s plans than she’s letting on because she narrows her eyes and says, “Home by eleven.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

She slings her bag over her shoulder and strides quickly down the field, only half-heartedly returning her mother’s goodbye. Glimmer and Bow are already standing together, and Adora is relieved to see they don’t look sympathetic. Just as angry and beaten as she is.

She goes to stand with them and they watch in heavy silence as the Horde runs out to the carpark, laughing and tousling each other excitedly. Sonia has picked up Catra and is carrying her on her shoulders, as if piggy-backing a small child. Adora can hear Catra whining and complaining from where they stand, but she can also see the pleased look on her face, the small smile hidden above Sonia’s line of sight.

“Let’s go back to mine,” Glimmer says. “There’s no way you’re going to this party in your uniforms.”

Adora is tempted to argue, the sooner there’s a cold drink in her hand the better. But right now the Princess uniform feels like a label, and not one that links her to good things. There’s little pride in being second best.

It’s a short trip to Glimmer’s and an even shorter change. Adora had packed jeans and a lacy top that would’ve stopped her mother’s heart to see her in it. The kind of shirt she has to keep hidden at the bottom of her sock drawer. She slips it on and watches her reflection in the steamed bathroom mirror. It doesn’t look like her, but maybe that’s what she needs right now.

Bow and Glimmer gush over it, of course. Bow’s even wearing something similar. They rush out of the house, Glimmer shouting a half-assed excuse to Angela over her shoulder. They’re not stopped.

The party is big. Much bigger than the team party that now seems like nothing more than a kid’s sleepover. Adora suddenly feels rather miffed. A party this size and she and Bow hadn’t even been invited? Ouch.

There are teens on the lawn, teens in the garage, teens lolling about in the open doorway. The trio shoulder their way inside and are immediately greeted by one of Glimmer’s band mates, who disappears again just as fast to grab them drinks. They’re then accosted by one of Glimmer’s Poly club friends who makes polite conversation with them until the band mate comes back, three cups tucked carefully into their arms.

Adora stares at the drink pushed into her hands and for a moment a voice in her head that sounds like her mother’s screams that this isn’t safe, that she mustn’t accept drinks from strangers, and that she must only drink from closed canisters.

She upends it, downing half the cup in one. A few people cheer, and then the crowd herds them into the living room where the music is blasting and the lights are dim. The couches have been moved to the sides of the room to allow for a dance floor, and Bow immediately drags Glimmer towards it with purpose.

Adora leans against a wall and sips at her drink while watching the crush of dancers that Bow and Glimmer have vanished into. She doesn’t know what the drink she’s been given is, but it tastes foul. Nevertheless, the warmth in her stomach and mind is pleasant and she’s not sure she wants it to go away just yet. 

She finishes it a bit too quickly and is just about to get another drink when a hand claps down on her shoulder.

“Hey, Adora.”

“Catra.”

A storm of emotions rises up in her stomach, but are quickly overcome by the ice-cold feeling of anger. Her rival grins at her and presses in closer, her hand sliding from Adora’s shoulder down her arm so that she’s lightly gripping her bicep.

“That’s Captain Catra to you, princess,” Catra corrects, and her hand squeezes a little. Adora can feel her nails digging into her skin.

“I’m a captain too, asshole.”

“Right, sure. Remind me again who won today?”

“Ugh!”

Adora yanks her arm away and storms off to the kitchen. She doesn’t think she can stand seeing Catra’s hot, annoying face for another second (at least, not without another drink).

Unfortunately for her, her nemesis follows. The kitchen is surprisingly empty and Adora’s starting to think that coming here was a bad idea. She ignores Catra as best she can, discarding her cup and inspecting the drinks table in search of something unopened. It’s hard. Catra's so close there isn’t a single moment when they’re not touching, no matter how often Adora tries to shy away.

Catra leans over Adora’s shoulder as she cracks open a beer and she can feel her breath tickling her neck.

“Open one for me too?”

Surprising herself, Adora does. She hands it to Catra and for a second their fingers brush, leaving tiny sparks under Adora’s skin.

They both drink. Lowering her can, Catra’s tongue darts out to lick her lips and Adora’s gaze follows the movement, entranced. 

Their eyes meet. 

Adora feels her throat go dry. There’s something paralyzing in Catra’s gaze that keeps her from flinching back when Catra steps forward. She places one hand on her waist, the other wrapping around the back of her neck to pull her in, and Adora complies, helpless to her touch. 

The kiss is hot and wet. She can’t think, can’t even move beyond allowing her lips to part. Catra pushes harder, holds tighter, kisses faster. She steps forward and Adora stumbles back without breaking their mouths apart. Her back hits the wall which is a relief because she feels like her knees are about to give out. Catra is unravelling her like a cat with a ball of wool.

Wait.

Her brain has been lagging ten seconds behind, but finally it catches up. She’s being kissed within an inch of her life by a girl- no- by Catra, the hot goth captain of the Horde. She is making out with her rival captain. Anyone could walk in at any moment. This isn’t right. Catra is her rival, her enemy. This can’t be happening.

Blindly, Adora shoves Catra back.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Catra looks taken aback. “Isn’t it obvious?” 

She steps closer and tries to kiss Adora once more, but this time Adora’s ready and she shoves her again, more aggressively this time.

“Is this some kind of sick tactic to throw me off my game?” Adora demands. 

“Uh, no?” 

“What, are you trying to seduce me into losing? Is that it? Or are you just hungry for forbidden fruit?”

Catra laughs and the sound only makes Adora angrier. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I just want to kiss you.” 

Adora hates that those words sends butterflies into her stomach. She hates that she can still taste Catra on her lips. The thought that Catra could have any power over her makes her nauseous.

“Well you can’t,” she says lowly, and she’s almost surprised at the coldness in her own voice. “We’re rivals, and you’re an asshole. I would never want to kiss someone like you, Horde captain.”

“Wait. You actually take that stupid rivalry seriously?”

The laughter is gone from Catra’s face now. She looks hurt and confused. Good.

“Of course I do,” Adora hisses. “Football is everything to me. This team is everything to me. I wouldn’t expect an outsider like you to understand.”

“You’re right, I don’t.”

Their argument is cut short by a handful of volleyball girls entering the room loudly, drunk laughter bubbling around their words. Catra looks like she wants to keep talking despite the intrusion, but there’s a sick feeling building in Adora’s stomach and suddenly she has to get out, get as far away from Catra as possible.

“Shit,” Adora mutters. She shoves past Catra aggressively, refusing to meet her eye. “Just stay away from me.”

She doesn’t look back as she leaves, doesn’t look back when she hears Glimmer and Bow calling her name over the throb of music and conversation. She spills out onto the street, a mess. It looks like she’s making her curfew after all.

She walks home, the taste of beer and Catra lingering on her tongue until she brushes and scrubs and rinses it away with toothpaste. Then it’s just mint. She wishes she could clean her mind just as thoroughly, leave nothing but a cold burn and start afresh. But her mind burns hot and not even sleep puts out that fire.

Chapter Text

In an ideal world that would’ve been the last Adora ever saw of Catra. However, the world has a cruel sense of humour and the two captains live barely five minutes apart. Adora sees Catra again not even a week later.

It’s Adora’s fault, really. She’s walking home from practice, enjoying the last of the summer weather, sweating hard in her football uniform and trying to ignore the fact that she’s walking down Catra’s street. So far they’ve managed to avoid each other and Adora fully intends to keep it that way.

A football suddenly flies out of nowhere and instinctively Adora raises her leg to receive it against her thigh. The ball drops to her feet with a miserably pathetic bounce.

“Sorry!”

Adora’s first thought is that the ball belongs to Catra, but to her surprise it’s five kids who come sprinting down the street towards her. She recognises them, of course, it’s a small neighbourhood after all. There’s Ripley, who she’s babysat a couple of times, and Molly, who lives across the road from her. The other three she knows only from hearing their names in passing; Jo, Mal and April.

“Adora!” Ripley shouts, and throws herself gleefully into Adora’s arms. Adora only manages to catch her by instinct.

“Hey kid,” she says fondly. “You guys playing a game?”

“Yup!” Ripley pries herself out of Adora’s arms again and runs back to her friends. “Adora, pass the ball!”

Adora makes as if to pass it, and then hesitates theatrically. Instead, she rolls the ball onto her foot and tosses it into the air, juggling it a couple of times. She moves the ball with ease between both knees and feet before bouncing it up onto her head, then her shoulders. She can’t look down to check the kids are watching her but she can hear their gasps. She smirks, rolls the ball from left arm to right, bounces it off her elbow and kicks it as hard as she can down the road.

The ball soars through the air gracefully and is received just as gracefully by Catra who at that moment had appeared at the other end of the street, returning from her own training. She’s still wearing her Horde uniform.

“Hey Adora!” she calls, and her greeting bites. “Finally found a team a bit more your level?”

Adora feels the heat rise quickly in her face. “Still better than yours, Captain.”

“Aw, you’ll hurt my feelings!”

The kids are looking between them curiously. Ripley is eyeing the ball at Catra’s feet and Adora can see she’s twitching impatiently. 

“You think you’re so special, don’t you?” Adora seethes. Her hands have clenched into fists at her sides.

“Yup!”

“Prove it then. I want a rematch.”

Catra laughs and kicks the ball back towards Adora.

“Then let’s go. Your kick-off. I’ll even let you take three of the kids, just to even the odds. That okay with you, princess?”

Before Adora can spit out a reply, Ripley is flying back into her arms screaming, “I’m on Adora’s team!”

After a quick discussion among the kids she’s also joined by Mal and Molly. Jo and April jog warily over to Catra who crouches down to introduce herself with her cheshire cat smile. Adora forces herself to look away and focus on her own small team who are staring at her curiously. 

“Why do you hate that girl?” Mal asks.

“We’re rival captains,” Adora explains. “Now how do we score in this game?”

It turns out the rules of street football are rather… loose. The goal is only vaguely marked by cracks on the road and there are no boundaries. That suits Adora just fine. She’s here to defeat Catra, not worry about offside rules and corner shots.

Ripley takes the kick off and for a while Adora has fun passing between the kids, purposely losing the ball when April tackles her with surprising ferociousness. It’s not long however before she’s face to face with Catra.

She doesn’t miss the cocky grin Catra shoots her as she approaches with the ball and her anger rears up again, like a wild, bucking horse. She feints right then dodges left, but Catra’s expecting it and keeps pace with her. That’s fine. Adora twists her foot and spins, leaving Catra in the lurch as she changes directions. But Catra catches up again, faster than she can pass the ball. And then Catra’s body is pressed up against hers and she’s being pushed off the ball, her imbalance from spinning being used against her.

She loses the ball.

Adora watches it go. Or at least, her eyes follow its movement. Her vision has been obscured by red mist. She’s frustrated to the point where it almost physically hurts. There’s no way she can lose to Catra again.

She won’t.

This time it’s Catra trying to get past her with the ball. She reads her feint, echoes her movements perfectly. Catra snarls and tries to force her way past her but Adora blocks the ball. For a moment she thinks she’s won, but then Catra’s catching the ball against her thigh and she’s passing her and Adora’s lost the ball again.

And again.

And again.

The game is ended at 7-4 to Catra’s team by the summoning to dinner of Ripley’s dad. Adora smiles for the kids. She ruffles their hair and gives them high fives, tells them it was a good game. Then they’re gone.

Adora falls to her hands and knees in the middle of the road, body wrecked, sweat pouring off her. All her remaining energy slips away, leaving her empty. She slams one fist against the ground and tries not care about how much it stings. 

“Told you I was special.”

Catra is standing over her and if Adora could find the strength to stand and punch the smirk off her face she would.

“Why can’t I beat you?” she asks instead, and she’s ashamed of both the words and the shaky way her voice delivers them. “I’ve worked so hard, why can’t I do it?”

Adora has never hated herself more. Catra squats so that they’re level with each other but Adora stares resolutely at her feet rather than her face, scared of what she might do if she looked into Catra’s eyes right then. Maybe cry.

“Oh princess,” Catra sighs. “I can promise you I’ve worked harder.”

 And then she’s gone, leaving Adora alone on Aviary street until eventually she picks herself up and stumbles home.

______________________

May 3, 2018

11:06 P.M.

bad vegan: Hey guys! Do we have practice tomorrow? I was looking at the forecast and it looks like hail D: 

seagull: do u ever consider ur own mortality? life is not infinite even if u try to fool yourself otherwise. some day u will be gone and u wont even be aware of it. ur consciousness no more, ur body decaying. is there an afterlife? is it possible for us to understand the true meaning of eternity? I both hope for it, yet i also fear it. compared to that life on this planet is so short. why do we cling to social rules and constructs? whats the point? all men are equal in the grave. why have we chosen to spend our precious time playing football? is it somehow a metaphor, a symbol for the way we choose to spend our lives? following rules and achieving pointless goals to find self actualisation and a sense of value? how have we not descended into anarchy? set the pitch on fire. who cares? dont u ever just wonder???

11:33 P.M.

Captain She-ra: hi puawai! practice is on tomorrow but its in the old gym instead. i contacted coach and we decided on a more fitness/cardio focused training so we can avoid the weather :)

seagull: noooo i hate cardio :’’’’’(

___________________

Their second game against the Horde comes fast. Adora watches it approach like a freight train, and in this particular scenario Adora is tied to the tracks. Before she knows it she’s on the pitch, jogging on the spot while the ball is on the other end of the field in an attempt to get her goosebumps to settle. It’s bloody freezing.

They’re only a goal down this time, but that’s still not a good position to be in. She’s back playing centre forward today and the position is no more exciting than last time. It would be fine if the ball would just come to her end, but the Horde are controlling the game. It’s all their defence can do just to keep the ball away from the goal.

Maybe that’s why it happens. The combination of the cold, the score, and her own impatience and anxiety. Maybe it’s just bad luck.

The ball finally flies down her end and she sprints towards it, barely taking in her surroundings. There’s just one thought repeating itself over and over in her head: that she has to get to the ball first. But she doesn’t, does she?

She sees Sonia too late. She’s not prepared for the tackle, nor is she prepared for Sonia’s much larger body to come crashing into her side. Adora stumbles and her ankle twists. Pain shoots up her leg and her stumble turns into a clumsy fall, her ankle folding beneath her.

Distantly, she hears the whistle blow. Sonia is already on the ground beside her, one hand on her arm as she asks repeatedly if she’s okay. She staggers to her feet as quickly as she can manage and hides her wince under an apology.

“I’m fine,” she calls to the concerned ref, who’s jogging towards them, whistle bobbing nervously between her teeth. “I can keep playing.”

The ref shrugs and gives them a free kick. Adora takes it even though it hurts. Her team needs her right now, needs their captain to lead them to victory. It doesn’t matter what happens to the captain as long as they keep going.

As the game goes on it gets harder and harder to hide her limp. Suddenly, it’s a blessing that the ball isn’t on her side of the field. She jogs after her mark, keeping a loose tail on them. She’s a little slower than usual, a little less aggressive. No one seems to notice, though at one point she swears she sees Catra staring at her from the other side of the field.

It seems like an eternity before the whistle blows for half time. Adora nearly collapses right then and there from relief. Her whole leg seems to be throbbing now, and she’s surprised she can’t visibly see it pulsating in time with her heart.

Coach calls them in and Adora pushes herself to run over. She waits impatiently through the coach’s speech. When it comes to her turn to talk she grinds out a few words before excusing herself, claiming she needs to go to the bathroom.

She finds refuge behind the gym changing rooms. Her back hits the wall and for the first time since the whistle blew, she allows herself to reach down and feel her ankle. She hisses through her teeth involuntarily. It aches so, so bad. More than it should. She pushes a little weight into it experimentally and nearly cries out when her leg buckles. Shit.

“Ooh, that doesn’t look so good.”

As if things couldn’t be worse. Catra rounds the corner, pouting in mock sympathy. Adora glares.

“You followed me.”

“Perhaps.” Catra leans nonchalantly against the wall, arms crossed. “I can’t go losing my rival before the game’s even ended, can I princess? You should ice that, by the way.”

“Stop calling me princess.”

Adora glares, but Catra just laughs like Adora had told her a funny joke. It’s infuriating. If it weren’t for her ankle, she’d be storming past Catra right now. As it is, she’s trapped. Catra casts a glance down to her feet, as if picking up on this.

“Have you even told your team you’re injured?” Adora stays silent, but that seems to be answer enough. Catra laughs again, then begins to walk closer, slowly, like a cat stalking its prey. “Oh, you’re cute. You’re going to soldier on like the brave little captain you are, just to prove you’re better than me. Poor Adora, playing with an injury. Poor princess.”

She stops just before Adora, who’s frozen in place, unable to look away from Catra’s unblinking eyes. Her hand reaches up to hook a finger under Adora’s chin, forcing her head upwards. 

“Oh captain, my captain.” She traces a line along the underside of Adora’s chin leisurely. “Do you really care about the success of your team at all?”

Adora opens her mouth to retort, to let loose words made more bitter with pain, but they’re interrupted by Glimmer running around the corner, looking worried. She’d come to support Adora and Bow, as she does every game. Catra’s grin widens horribly at the sight of her and drops her hand from Adora’s face to the wall just behind it.

“Oh thank god, there you two are. The game’s about to start!”

Catra looks at Adora and raises a solitary eyebrow. “You gonna be okay out there, princess?”

“What’s she talking about?” Glimmer asks. Her eyes dart between the two of them quickly and a small crease folds between her eyes.

“Nothing,” Adora says as nonchalantly as she can manage. With a massive effort she pushes herself off the wall and stands, pain shooting through her ankle like ice.

Catra shrugs and steps away, then without a word to Adora she turns and trots past Glimmer back towards the field.

“Thanks, Sparkles.”

Glimmer bristles. “Who is she calling Sparkles?”

Adora doesn’t reply. She’s too busy concentrating on not wincing or hissing or showing any signs that she was not okay. She and Glimmer jog back to the field together and then she runs on, joining her team who are already in place.

The pain is starting to subside now but her ankle still feels incredibly weak. Like one wrong move and it’ll snap. She’s so focused on it she nearly doesn’t hear the whistle blow and her kick-off is a few crucial seconds delayed.

What’s left of her time on field turns to an absolute shit-show. Adora’s too slow, and then her kicks are off, and she shies away from every tackle. Her teammates look concerned. On the sidelines, Glimmer looks angry. And her mother? Her shouts were getting louder by the minute. Advice and encouragement, loud enough to drown out Coach.

A few minutes pass and for a moment Adora thinks she’ll pull through. Then Catra breaks position. The ball is finally on Adora’s end, she’s a pass away from feeling its weight at her feet. And then she sees Catra, no, she hears Catra first, the name shouted by the Horde coach and players alike, as Catra sprints down the field straight towards Adora.

The pass comes. So does her rival. They all collide in a mess of force and momentum and Adora falls. Catra hadn’t even touched her foot. She had just slammed her with enough pressure for her leg to buckle, and the rest of her to follow it. She hits the ground hard with a yell.

The whistle blows.

“Oops.”

“What the fuck are you playing at?” Adora spits, desperately blinking back tears. She hates that she’s here, on the ground before Catra, once again. Always the loser.

Catra ignores her. She’s waved over the ref and is talking to her quietly.

“She’s injured. I think it’s just a twisted ankle but she can’t play the rest of the game.”

“No. She can’t.”

Coach has arrived. Face stony and arms crossed. She holds out a huge hand and pulls Adora to her feet, dragging her arm over her shoulder so Adora’s forced to let her bear her weight.

“Adora, am I correct in believing this happened in the first half?”

“…Yes, coach.”

“Then you’re a bigger idiot than I give you credit for. You’re off until you can prove to me you’re fully healed, understood?”

“I can still play,” Adora protests desperately. “Coach, I swear I’m fine!”

“She’s not~” Catra says in a sing-song voice.

“I don’t want to hear another word from you,” Coach snaps. “That was a dangerous move and you could’ve seriously injured my captain. I know you knew she was hurt, but instead of coming to me or the ref you go off and attack her? If Adora’s an idiot that makes you either a class-A dumbass, or just cruel. I’ll leave you to decide which.”

For a moment Catra is speechless. Then an odd expression passes over her face like a cloud. Adora only catches a glimpse of it before she hangs her head. Was that regret? Shame? Fear?

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not me you should be apologising to.”

Catra glances up at Adora briefly, long enough that Adora catches a glimpse of that expression again.

“I’m sorry, Adora. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you further.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Adora mutters.

The ref sends Catra off for the rest of the match to little protest. Coach leads Adora to the sidelines and forces her to sit down. An icepack is scavenged from the depths of a cold bag and pressed against her ankle. The cold stings for a moment, and then it’s just numb.

She watches the game with that same numbness. Maybe it’s good for her- when the Princesses score their first goal she doesn’t know whether to feel proud or useless. When they score their second goal she still doesn’t know.

Her mother comes to sit with her and they both cheer for each goal, but Adora doesn’t feel the joy she should and her mother keeps throwing her little side glances that hold big meanings. Glimmer doesn’t join them.

It has to be saying something, when your team starts winning after you’ve been removed from the game. It has to be saying something, right? The Princesses are playing with a whole new energy, and without Adora to get in the way, it’s paying off. It’s like a whole other team out there.

“I thought you were playing very well before you got injured,” Her mother tells her. It doesn’t help.

They don’t talk for the rest of the game. The Princesses win 2-1 and they all rush to each other when the whistle blows, cheering and hugging madly. Some of the seniors hug Adora too when they finally make it back to the sideline but Adora doesn’t return them with much enthusiasm. She leads the cheer but is excused from shaking hands since she’s apparently too injured to walk to centre pitch. As long as she doesn’t have to go anywhere near Catra she won’t complain.

She returns to her mother who once again offers her a ride home. Glimmer is already gone and Bow is still celebrating so she accepts. The drive back is just as quiet as they had been during the game. It’s not until they’re pulling into the driveway that Adora gets the text.

June 11, 2018

5:02 P.M.

Glimmer: Can you come to mine tonight? We need to talk

Adora’s mother drops her off outside Glimmer’s house just after dinner. It would have been a short walk, but Adora’s still limping. She feels useless. Her mother seems to pick up on Adora’s mood because she leans over the centre console to hug Adora before she can leave the car. The hug feels too tight and she soon stops when Adora doesn’t reciprocate.

Angela greets Adora at the door, warm as usual. She points Adora in the direction of the garage and Adora thanks her, side stepping one of Glimmer’s brothers to get there. 

She finds Glimmer where Angela had said, sitting at her drum kit. She’s staring into space, one hand absentmindedly tapping a drumstick against the snare in a slow, steady pulse.

Tap

Tap

Tap

“Glimmer?”

The beat stops but aside from that Glimmer doesn’t acknowledge her. Adora carefully shuts the door behind her and edges closer into the room.

“Are you okay?”

Glimmer whips around and Adora is shocked to see that she looks absolutely furious. “I should be asking you that! What were you thinking?!”

Oh. Adora hangs her head, ashamed. “I just needed to win.”

“No Adora, we needed to win. You needed to recover! Why do you always do this?”

She’s never heard Glimmer this mad before. Well, that’s a lie. She’s heard Glimmer this mad, but never at her. 

“Do what?” She asks, and Glimmer looks ready to throw something.

“Pretend you’re not hurting!” Glimmer’s shouting and her voice echoes throughout the garage, so loudly the snare drum buzzes softly in response. “You refuse to ask for help! You just keep going on like you have to carry the weight of the world, even if it kills you!”

“I don’t… I don’t do that.”

“Oh, sure.” Glimmer rolls her eyes, irritably. “Me and Bow noticed how terrified you were of being captain. You know you didn’t have to be, right? You could’ve turned it down. Just because you were offered responsibility, doesn’t mean you had to take it!”

 “Yes I did!” Adora is starting to feel hot. There are tears prickling under her eyes but she refuses to let them fall. “Everyone expected it of me! I’m the best person to lead a team against the Horde!”

“Well maybe you’re not!”

The room falls into deathly silence. With a start, Adora realises Glimmer actually is crying. A few seconds pass, and then Glimmer droops, all the anger seeming to flow out of her at once. Her hands drop to her sides and her drumsticks clatter to the floor.

“I’m sorry,” Glimmer sobs. “Adora… I didn’t mean that. I just hate to see you hurting.”

For a second, Adora just stands there, dumbstruck. Then she’s limping over to Glimmer and pulling her tightly into her arms. The tears she’d tried to hold in spill out onto her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, too. I’ve been an idiot.”

“Yeah. You have.” Glimmer sniffs. “Adora, I was so scared when I saw you fall today. You have no idea.”

“I promise it won’t happen again.”

“You’re such a dumb fucking jock.”

Adora laughs wetly. “I know.”

“Just… remember we’re all here for you okay? Me and Bow, your team, your family. We’re all here to support you so you don’t have to do everything yourself.”

“I know.”

They hug for another minute until they’ve both stopped crying. Then Glimmer pulls away and rubs at her eyes aggressively, only making the redness worse. Adora can feel her own eyes growing puffy, but she does her best to give her best friend a wobbly smile anyway.

“Can we go binge watch Kim Possible now?” Adora asks.

Glimmer laughs. “Yes please.”

June 14, 2018

9:58 P.M.

Mira changed the chat photo

Captain She-ra: why would u do this

seamonster: Because fuck you thats why

SpinballElla <3: I think it’s a very nice photo

Captain She-ra: mira i sent u those double chin selfies in confidence!!

seamonster: But theyre such perfect gc photos

Francesca: Yeah Adora, you like so nice in that photo. That’s your best angle!

Captain She-ra: oh my god do not use sarcasm with me francesca i s2g

Captain She-ra: why does no one respect my authority???

Captain She-ra: ur year 11 ur meant to be scared of me!!!

seagull: authority is meaningless and only exists within our own minds

Captain She-ra: fuck off hawkins

Vice Mom:  You guys owe soo much money to the swear jar

Chapter Text

Boosted by their win, the school is in high spirits when the theme of their annual senior ball is announced a week later. Adora stares down at her phone beneath her desk where the notification has just popped up and decides that she is unimpressed. 

“What is it?” Bow hisses. He and Glimmer are suddenly on either side of her, having unsubtly scooched their chairs closer to get a look.

Glimmer gasps. “Winter wonderland!”

Bow grabs Adora’s phone to take a look for himself and his face cracks into a wide smile. “Now they have to play Frosty the Snowman.”

“I’m not paying fifty dollars to slow dance to Frosty the Snowman,” Adora grumbles, but Glimmer and Bow have already buried their heads in the sand that is ball prep. She doubts they will emerge again before the ball is safely over. Glimmer has her own phone out now and is leaning over Adora to scroll through ball dress pictures with Bow. Adora, quite frankly, is stunned that their maths teacher hasn’t intervened yet.

“Hey Adora, what do you think of this one?” 

Glimmer has shoved her phone under Adora’s nose. There’s a purple dress on the screen made out of some kind of floaty fabric.

“Uh… it’s okay?”

Glimmer huffs. “Useless!”

The teacher dismisses them for lunch and the trio head to their usual spot to eat in the school’s greenhouse, which has been vandalised and neglected to the point of barely being more than a skeleton of its former self. Needless to say, they have this corner of the school to themselves.

Adora’s limping a little from what turned out to be a minor sprain, but she’d come off her crutches in a matter of days and was supposed to be back on the football field in no more than a fortnight. Glimmer casually takes her arm as the walk slowly towards the greenhouse and Adora nearly shakes her off out of habit, but then she catches her eyes and decides against it.

Glimmer and Bow still haven’t let the topic of the ball drop, and they’re chatting excitedly as they unload sandwiches and chip packets from their lunchboxes. Adora carefully checks the ground for broken glass and cigarette butts before she sits.

“Are you going to ask anyone to go with you?” Glimmer asks Bow, who smirks and bumps her shoulder.

“No way. I’m loving the single life right now. Besides, it leaves my options open if someone does want to… dance with me on the night.”

“Ok then, Casanova,” Adora teases. “How about you Glimmer?”

“Only if someone asked me. I wouldn’t know who to take.”

“Surely Hawkins,” Bow suggests with a wink.

“I would rather ask Coach Hunter,” Glimmer replies, deadpan.

“Hawkins is probably going to go with Mira anyway.”

“You think she’ll say yes?”

“Coach Hunter?”

“No, idiot. Mira.”

“Of course not. They’ll still end up going together though.”

“What about you, Adora?” Bow asks.

“Um…” The question sends a spike of anxiety down into her stomach and she shudders. “It’s uh… It’s a bit more complicated for me, isn’t it?”

The mood instantly sobers. Bow looks uncomfortable, obviously regretting his question. Glimmer reaches forward to place a gentle hand on Adora’s knee.

“I know it’s hard for you to come out Adora, but you know our friends won’t judge you right? You could tell the team.”

“Yeah,” Bow agrees enthusiastically. “If you wanted to take someone we could keep it a secret from your mum. I’m pretty sure half the team has bets on you being queer anyway.”

Adora shrugs, wishing more than anything that the conversation would change. Knowing that it won’t.

“I’m just… not ready yet.” She sighs and draws her knees up to her chest. “I’m scared. And I’m angry- I just want more than anything to be out, you know? You guys are lucky, you don’t get it.”

“Babe. I know exactly what homophobia is like.”

“And aphobia,” Glimmer adds. 

“You have two dads, Bow,” Adora points out. “And Glimmer, your parents love you more than anything. My situation is more personal, it’s complicated.”

“You can’t change being gay, Adora,” Glimmer says softly. Her hand is gripping her leg tighter now, as if worried Adora is going to run away- like she even could on her sprain.

The words probably don’t have the effect Glimmer was hoping for. If anything, they fill Adora with frustration and anger. She wishes she could change being gay. But she can’t say that, can she? Bow and Glimmer wouldn’t understand. They couldn’t understand how sick Adora felt late at night, when she couldn’t sleep and her mind forced her to confront again and again the way girls made her heart flutter in a way it should not.

So no, Adora is not coming out for the ball.

“I have an idea,” Glimmer says cautiously. Adora hums to indicate she’s listening. “Why don’t we go together, Adora? As friends.”

Oh. That’s… that’s not a bad idea. Adora wonders why she hadn’t thought of it herself. She smiles and says, “I would like that.”

Glimmer smiles back. Then her smile cracks into a sinister grin. Adora is afraid.

“Oh my god. We have to go dress shopping together.”

“No. No way. I can’t stand shopping.”

“Pleeease!”

“Over my dead body.”

__________________________

“How about this one?”

Glimmer has pulled yet another dress of the rack and is holding it out for Adora’s inspection. Adora gives it a cursory once over before shrugging and returning to examine the shoe stand. There’s a nice pair of leather boots that she’s been eyeing up but she hasn’t yet worked up the courage to look at the price tag.

She and Glimmer had driven out that morning to the nearest town with more than one tiny clothes shop, and were spending the day hunting for ball dresses (also popping into the odd antiques store and cafe that caught their fancy). Adora had already found a gorgeous old comb in once such store that Glimmer had excitedly insisted she buy. It was golden and shone against Adora’s hair when she tucked it into her bun.

“Oh my gosh, Adora, you have to try this on.”

A silky red dress is shoved into Adora’s arms, and then Adora is shoved into a changing room. 

She stares at herself in the mirror for a few seconds, then slowly begins to undress, eyeing the dress before her with distrust. 

The zip presents a struggle, and it’s some time before she’s finally able to throw open the curtain and step out of the changing room.

“Glimmer! What do you think?”

The sight she’s met with upon leaving the changing room is enough to make the words die in her throat. Glimmer is glaring, posture defensive as she stares two girls down.

And of course, it’s just Adora’s luck that she knows who those girls are.

She hadn’t expected to be seeing the captain and vice captain of the Horde today.

“Catra,” she hisses.

Catra turns her attention onto Adora with a fierce intensity. However, upon seeing her, she looks surprised, if only for a moment. Her eyes flick up and down Adora’s body, so quick you might miss it. Then she smirks. “Hey, Adora.”

“Adora! Hi!” exclaims the vice captain, misreading the mood of the room entirely. “You might not remember my name. I’m Sonia.”

She holds out a hand for Adora to shake, then self consciously runs it through her hair when Adora ignores it.

“What are you doing here?” Adora asks through gritted teeth.

“I was just telling your friend that. We’re shopping, same as you.”

“But your school doesn’t have its ball for another three months.”

“We know. We’re crashing yours. Nice dress by the way, suits you.”

Catra reaches out and gives the fabric of her dress a little tug. Adora hadn’t realised they’d come close enough for Catra to do that. She steps back hurriedly and nearly crashes into a clothes rack. The shop attendant glowers at her from the counter and she blushes. 

“You can’t just crash our ball!” Glimmer fumes. 

“Yes, we can,” says Sonia. “We have tickets.”

“Worried we’re gonna outdress you?” Catra asks, and she eyes Adora again pointedly. Adora feels like a mouse being hunted by a cat and she shifts uncomfortably.

“As if,” scoffs Glimmer.

“Prove me wrong then. Out-dress Sonia and I.”

“Ooh, like a competition?” Sonia asks excitedly.

“Best outfit wins,” Adora says, surprising herself.

There’s a tense moment of silence and then they’re all vanishing into various corners of the shop, the only sound the rustling of clothes. Adora doesn’t even change again, but begins rifling through the nearest rack still in the dress. She’s never been so motivated when it comes to shopping before.

The only problem is, Adora doesn’t really know how to shop. Motivation doesn’t make up for lack of fashion sense. She spends most of her time in activewear and hand me down jackets from her brother, so it’s never really been a concern for her.

Glimmer rejects nearly all of her finds out of hand.

“Adora, no! That skirt is shaped like a pumpkin!”

“How about this?”

“Adora, I’m sorry, but blush is not your colour.”

“Okay but what about this?”

Glimmer doesn’t even look at the dress this time. She snatches it out of her hand and places it back on the rack with a sigh.

“You know what? Just let me pick out the dresses. Here, try these on.”

She piles another heap of clothes into Adora’s arms and sends her off into the changing rooms. Catra is already there, dressed in velvet black, examining her reflection critically. Adora feels her breath catch slightly in her throat.

Catra sees her in the reflection and turns to her with an eyebrow raised.

“Thoughts, princess?”

“You look like a clown.”

Adora rushes into her changing room and yanks the curtain shut behind her, wishing she’d thought up a more devastating insult. She can still hear Catra laughing outside.

She tries on dress after dress. Each time one fits she steps outside to call Glimmer over and ask for a second opinion. Apparently none are quite good enough to satisfy her friend, who herself has become attached to a sleeveless lilac dress that goes nicely with her hair.

At one point, while Adora and Glimmer are talking, Sonia emerges from the changing room she and Catra are sharing, wearing a black dress that hangs off one shoulder and clings perfectly to her curves. Adora has to retreat instantly behind the curtain just to hide the redness of her face.

From outside the changing rooms, Glimmer face palms.

“Why don’t you just go with the red dress?” Catra asks from the next room. “I wasn’t lying about it suiting you.”

“No way!” Adora shouts back, despite the fact that it had been her favourite.

Glimmer pulls back the curtain and slips into the room with Adora.

“Look, I think she has a point. It’s the best thing you’ve tried on today.”

“But that’s just playing into her hands!”

“It’s… what?” Glimmer falters. “Adora, it’s a dress. You look amazing in it, and it’s within your budget.”

Adora picks up the dress from its hook and stares down at it thoughtfully. She really had liked that dress.

“Ugh. Fine. But I’m not doing it for her.”

“Of course not.”

They leave the changing room together and are met by Catra and Sonia.

Catra is wearing a suit.

The only thing that stops Adora walking backwards into what has now become her sanctuary from hot women, is Glimmer’s hand on her arm, holding her firmly in place. 

This isn’t fair.

“What do you think?” Catra asks, and does a neat twirl, arms outspread.

I think I want to punch that grin off your face.

“Very nice,” Glimmer says dismissively, immune to Catra’s charms. “Shall we go purchase this stuff then? I’m ready to go home.”

The shop attendant glares at all of them as they buy their things, clearly as fed up with them as they are with the shop. To be fair, they had been hogging the changing rooms for quite some time.

They leave the shop and head off their separate ways. Catra blows them a kiss as farewell and Sonia waves happily. Adora mimes catching Catra’s kiss and snapping it in half. Glimmer just rolls her eyes.

Adora is rather subdued on the way home. She leans her head against the window and doesn’t even sing along with Glimmer to 1950. 

“Okay, what’s eating you?” Glimmer asks at last, turning the music down. 

“They totally won that dress competition didn’t they?”

“That’s what’s bothering you? Adora, it wasn’t a serious competition. Besides, I don’t think anyone won.”

“No, they definitely did. And Catra knew it too. The suit had to be cheating.”

“Okay, Adora.”

“God, I hate her.”

“I know, Adora.”

Not far behind them on the road, a furious Catra slams her hands down on the steering wheel.

“I can’t believe they beat us! Fucking princesses!”

“Did they really though?”

“Yes. God, I hate her.”

“I know, Catra.”

Chapter Text

July 27, 2018

1:56 A.M.

guardian of the net: i am the net guardian, guardian of the net

seagull: Mira quivers before her

guardian of the net: FUCK OFF

seamonster: Make me. Bitch.

Vice Mom: Ummm swear jar

guardian of the net: fuck your swear jar

Vice Mom: >:(

guardian of the net: ...sorry

At long last the fated day the whole school has been waiting for arrives. Ball night. Adora comes by Glimmer’s house at six to get ready, still in her Princess uniform (Coach wouldn’t cancel training if the world was ending).

She finds Glimmer in the garage trying to force her brothers off her drum kit with more violence than was really necessary. Adora clears her throat and Glimmer pauses mid chokehold. She rolls her eyes when she sees Adora is still in her football uniform and drags her by the arm into her bedroom. The crashing of her drum kit echoes behind them until Glimmer slams the door shut.

“Please tell me you at least showered,” Glimmer asks, pushing Adora down onto the bed.

“Of course I showered! I figured there was no point changing if I was just gonna put on the dress five minutes later.” She flops back against Glimmer’s mountain of pillows, body aching. “So comfy… How about we just stay here tonight?”

“No!” Glimmer flings the red dress over Adora’s head. “Get changed, I need to do your makeup.”

“Ughh.”

Despite her reluctance, Adora obediently changes into the dress and even spends the time to pose a little in front of the mirror before Glimmer drags her into the bathroom. Glimmer knows Adora too well to layer product after product onto her face, but she does do a bit of contouring and highlighting in spite of that. After a few minutes of light bickering, Adora even allows her to do her eyeliner.

“Ok, now I’m going to straighten your hair before I do it up.”

She plugs in a hair straightener and Adora jumps away so aggressively she nearly falls into the bath.

“No way! My hair’s already straight. Do not put that rod of death anywhere near my head.”

“Adora, sit your ass down and let me do my thing.”

Adora does and finds that the rod of death isn’t quite as terrible as she’d originally thought. Glimmer finishes straightening her hair and twists it up into an elegant knot. The golden comb Adora had found on their shopping expedition is rammed painfully against her scalp to hold it in place.

“There. Now you look like a real princess.”

“Oh, shut up.”

But when Adora looks in the mirror, she has to admit Glimmer kind of has a point. The girl looking back at her is no longer Adora the football captain by any stretch of the imagination. She pulls a face and Glimmer giggles.

“Well, don’t you both look lovely!”

Glimmer’s mum is standing in the doorway, wielding a camera.

“Thanks Angela!”

“Before you head out I want to take a few photos of you two in the garden.”

“This is going to take hours,” Glimmer mutters to Adora under her breath.

They follow Angela outside anyway and Glimmer only complains a little as Angela positions them in different areas of the garden, trying to find the right lighting. This is apparently a much harder task than it should be. Glimmer’s dad comes outside for a few minutes to laugh at them as they grow more and more impatient.

“Mum, we’re going to miss the ball.”

“Okay, okay, just one more photo!”

She takes three more, then at long last the girls are free to go.

It’s only a short walk to the ball, which is being held in the town hall. When they get there they’re not late, as Glimmer had feared. In fact, there’s still a number of students milling around outside. Bow is among them and he extracts himself from the crowd when he sees his friends approach, excitement written all over his face.

“Look at you two!” He gasps. “I have the most beautiful friends in the world!”

Glimmer laughs and punches his shoulder. “You’re not so bad yourself. But really? You’re wearing a crop top with a tux?”

“It felt more me.”

“You’re a strange man.”

Bow inserts himself between the two girls and links their arms. “Shall we?”

Adora nods and together the three of them enter the ball.

It’s like walking into a kaleidoscope. Coloured lights swing and spin around the hall which has been bedecked in strung up lines of paper snowflakes glowing a million changing colours. Beneath them the students are winding around each other in gorgeous dresses and suits. Adora is shocked to see that there are more Horde students than just Catra and her friends crashing. Even more shocked that they seem to be getting along well with the Princesses.

At the very back of the hall is the DJ, who is actually just a PTA Board member randomly clicking through a Spotify playlist. He seems to be having a good time.

Bow leads them to a table at the side of the hall that gives them a good view of the dancers. Adora appreciates that, she’s got her eyes peeled for a certain football captain. It doesn’t take long to spot her, standing idly at the other end of the hall with Sonia in her dangerously handsome suit, watching the dancers just like they are. The arms of her suit jacket are rolled up, exposing far too much forearm. For a moment their eyes catch and Catra winks. Adora bristles angrily.

“Why is Mira so mean to Hawkins?”

Adora startles and turns to Glimmer who is watching the ball with a slight frown.

“What do you mean?”

Glimmer touches her fingers to Adora’s arm lightly and points in a very different direction to where Adora was previously looking.

“She just refused to dance with him. Look.”

Adora does. Hawkins and Mira are standing at the edge of the dancers, Hawkins looking on the verge of tears and Mira looking… well, like Mira. Dismissive. As Adora watches Hawkins reaches out to grab her hand and Mira yanks it back in disgust, storming away.

“I thought they came together?” Adora says, confused.

“They did. I think Mira’s embarrassed or something.”

“I mean, I get if she doesn’t want to dance with him, that’s entirely her decision,” Bow reasons. “I just wish she’d treat him with more respect, you know? Everyone deserves that at least.”

Treated with respect.

Suddenly Adora remembers the foul taste of beer, the press of a body against hers. Catra’s lips.

What the hell are you doing?

Isn’t it obvious? 

She looks down at her hands and forces down the sickening emotion that tries to overcome her. No way is she feeling guilty right now.

Closing her eyes, she takes a deep breath. Lets the anger come rushing back. It’s so familiar now it’s almost like an old friend. The heat of it is a comfort that drowns out the coldness of her anxiety.

“We’re going to dance,” Glimmer is saying. “You want to join?”

She opens her eyes and forces a smile. The taste of beer fades from her tongue.

“I’ll join in a minute. You guys have fun!”

Glimmer shrugs and she and Bow vanish onto the dance floor. Adora watches them go, bobbing her head along to Finesse absentmindedly. It’s not long however before her eyes inadvertently drift back to Catra.

She and Sonia are now talking to Erica. She’s the Horde’s goalkeeper, who has, despite hating social interaction, decided to also crash the Princesses’ school ball. Also she’s carrying a whole tray of hors d’oeuvres. Jesus christ.

Once again, their eyes meet and Catra raises an eyebrow playfully, as if to ask if Adora’s staring. She’s not. Absolutely not. She looks away quickly and takes a long sip of her drink.

Is this some kind of sick tactic to throw me off my game? 

Uh, no? 

What, are you trying to seduce me into losing? Is that it? Or are you just hungry for forbidden fruit?

Fuck it. She downs her drink. If only it were alcoholic, then maybe she’d stop thinking of things that don’t make sense and she can go dance with her friends. 

She tries to spot the rest of her team, if only to stop herself from watching Catra. Natasha and Ella aren’t hard to find. Natasha has pulled herself up into the makeshift DJ booth and Ella is desperately trying to coax her down again. Puawai is there too, looking anxious. She sees Hawkins next, who has finally convinced Mira to dance with him, though there’s enough room between them for Jesus and a couple of his disciples. Small victories.

Her eyes begin wandering to the back of the hall again and she forces herself to look straight ahead. She doesn’t need to know what Catra’s doing, as much as that angry, hurt part of her wants to. She doesn’t need to know if Catra’s having a good time or if she’s dancing with her friends or mocking her school. Looking at her a third time would feel like losing. And she can’t lose to-

“Thinking about me?”

She nearly screams. While she’d been staring at the far wall Catra had approached and now she was standing before her in her full suited glory, looking carelessly ruffled, pulled straight from Adora’s guiltiest dreams.

“N- no!” She splutters. The lie is as obvious as her blush. “What do you want?”

Catra extends a hand towards her and bows every so slightly.

“May I have this dance, princess?”

At first Adora thinks she’s joking. Except the hand stays there, waiting for her to take it. And Adora doesn’t know why she does it, will perhaps maybe never be able to explain it, but she accepts.

Catra pulls her up and her hand is warm against Adora’s. She leads her into the centre of the dance floor just as the first echoey chords of Catching Feelings start to play.

“I hope you know how to dance, princess.”

That’s all the warning Adora gets before Catra’s pulling her in close, one hand sliding down to her waist, dominating. She grins down at her for a moment, eyes flashing dangerously, and then she begins to move.

Their dancing is slow, Catra leading them in a mocking kind of waltz, and Adora hates to admit it but she’s good. She moves around the other dancers with skill, pulls Adora close then pushes her away again, teasing. It’s all Adora can do to keep up and follow Catra’s guiding hands. The rest of the dance floor clears a little, using the slow-paced song as a break. To Adora, the floor feels empty except for them.

And then the chorus hits.

Catra pulls Adora in and they’re pressed together, Adora’s arms coming up on their own to wrap around Catra’s neck as they move in tandem. There’s a hand at her waist, gently moving her in time to the beat before trailing up her body and back down her arm until they’re only connected by their hands. Catra spins her and before she knows it, she’s being dipped, Catra’s steadying hand on her lower back and their faces close. She laughs and lets Catra pull her back up again. 

“I’m still waiting, you know,” Catra says as the verse renews.

“For what?”

Catra’s hand is back on her waist and she’s tugged in close, body flush against Catra’s. She can feel the heat climbing in her cheeks.

“For an insult. Come on, you haven’t even yelled at me yet.”

“Maybe I’m not feeling it tonight.”

“Haha. You sick or something?”

Adora winces and looks down at the ground.

I just wish she’d treat him with more respect, you know? Everyone deserves that at least.

The chorus starts up again but now neither of them are dancing. They stand there, so close Adora can feel Catra’s breath on her face and the press of her thigh and the hand that’s still on her waist.

“No, I…”

I just want to kiss you.

The song changes.

It’s like the whole world had been on pause and now it comes flooding back to her all at once. People are staring. Adora wants nothing more than to shove Catra away again but her body feels frozen. Oh god, people are going to think she’s gay, no one’s supposed to know she’s gay.

“I think we should stop dancing.”

Catra lets go of her at once and shrugs, stepping back.

“Whatever you say, princess.”

And then she’s gone, slipping through the dancers that have come running back now a more upbeat song is playing. Adora wants to follow but suddenly there’s too many people and the music is too loud and she’s trapped between writhing bodies and everything smells of sweat.

It comes as a shock when a boy she barely knows presses up behind her and puts a hand on her waist where Catra’s had just been. And yet the first thing she feels is relief. Relief that now people may think she’s straight.

The relief is short lived, however. When the boy moves against her all she feels is disgust. And then terror. Where Catra’s hands had been domineering, the boy’s hands are caging. They pull her closer when she tries to move away. Something tugs at her hair painfully and she feels her comb slip out but she can’t see where it falls. She tries to call out but her voice is lost in the music.

She has to get out.

Elbows are a useful weapon. She sends hers flying backwards and the hands leave her. And then she’s fighting her way out, ignoring the angry shouts from the people she knocks into. She needs to go outside. The door is getting closer, she just has to reach it. So close now.

It’s freezing outside.

Adora doesn’t have a jacket but she can’t bring herself to care. The cold engulfs her, settling beneath her skin and piercing her bones. She sits on the entrance steps, frozen, unable to move but for her fingers twisting around her hair tie. The knot Glimmer had so elegantly tied Adora’s hair into is gone, leaving her hair to blow freely around her shoulders in the chilly breeze.

It’s so much quieter outside. 

Suddenly there are tears in Adora’s eyes. She blinks them back before they can spill, stares up at the stars which now blur together through the wetness in her eyes. Even though it’s silent, her mind is so damn loud. Her thoughts repeat themselves like a scratched record, over and over, a slow torture that chips away at her stability.

Adora wonders why she cares so much. Why is she so upset? Why does going back inside seem so impossibly hard? She misses the warmth like an old friend, and yet her body refuses to move.

“Hey, Adora.”

A jacket is dropped onto her shoulders. It’s the one Catra was wearing earlier. The girl herself settles down on the step below hers, gently illuminated by the warm glow of the entrance behind them. 

“Catra.”

Adora pulls the jacket tighter around herself, instinct taking over despite all hostile feelings. It’s still warm from Catra’s body heat. The fabric is pleasantly soft and smells faintly of smoke. Now jacket-less, Catra’s dress shirt is slightly rumpled, coming untucked at one side. She looks unthreatening, almost vulnerable in her dishevelled state. Surprisingly, her presence helps to quiet down the din inside Adora’s head.

“You come to mock me or something? Tell me I’m a bad dancer too?”

“Actually, You’re not half bad.” Catra says. The words leave her mouth in small puffs of mist that dissolve quickly into the night.  “I saw you running out. Are you okay? You seem kinda upset.”

“Like you care.” 

Her tone lacks its intended bite, the retort sounding more like habit than anger. Catra smiles wistfully, looking away from Adora and up at the sky.

“I care a lot more than you think I do, princess.” She pauses, then turns back to Adora with a glint in her eyes. “Besides, pretty girls like you shouldn’t be alone in the cold at a ball.”

Adora snorts and bumps Catra’s shoulder with her knee playfully. “Are you trying to seduce me, Horde captain?”

“Depends. Will it help me beat you in finals?”

“You wish.” 

Catra feigns a look of shock, eyes ridiculously wide. “That’s not what you said last time I tried! Who are you and what have you done with princess Adora?”

Catra’s laughing but Adora can’t bring herself to join in. All her conflicting emotions from before are rising up like bile in the back of her throat. Guilt threatens to consume her, guilt that she’s let eat away at her for months, hidden behind fake anger and righteousness.

“I regret everything about that night.” The words leave her mouth of their own accord, yet she knows instantly that they’re true. Catra’s laughter dies instantly. She looks genuinely shocked now, unprepared for the change in mood. Adora meets her gaze steadily and refuses to look away. “The way I treated you at the party was disgusting and uncalled for. I can’t pretend it was justifiable by some local rivalry you barely even knew about.”

“Adora, it’s okay.” Catra’s tone is carefully light. “I’m over it. You don’t need to apologise.”

“But I do,” Adora protests. She takes a shaky breath. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve treated you with respect, but I was too caught up in my own competitiveness.”

Catra rolls her eyes. “You didn’t want to be kissed, Adora. It’s that simple. You didn’t want to be kissed and I should’ve backed off straight away, even if your reasoning was shit. You don’t have to apologise for that.”

Adora wails and finally breaks eye contact to bury her head in her hands.

“But I did! I did want to kiss you! You were the hot goth girl in the supermarket and I spent so fucking long trying to get you to notice me! And then it turned out you were my rival captain and you were better than me and it’s so unfair because I can’t date someone from the Horde and-” she breaks off, heaving in gasps of air, tears leaking down her face and ruining her makeup. 

Catra has gone quiet and she’s met with a silence so deep the next words come with ease, dropping into it like tiny pebbles from her shaking hands. The sound they make when they hit the bottom is quiet, yet Adora thinks that the echoes fill up the whole world. “And I don’t think I can date girls.”

The truth empties out of Adora’s chest and spills into the space around them, vulnerable and exposed. She wants to scoop it back into herself, hide it from Catra, the world, herself. Seconds pass, slow and quiet. Her fingers twist and pull at her hair-tie, tight enough that it leaves marks on her skin.

“Here.”

Fingers brush against hers, skin warm and soft, and the hair-tie is gently removed. Catra shifts up a stair so that she’s level with Adora and places a hand on her shoulder to turn her away. A hand runs through her hair, almost tentatively.

“Your hair came undone.”

There’s a beat of silence while Catra waits for Adora’s rejection, then the hand returns, gently working through the tangles in her hair. Adora waits, tears drying on her cheeks, while Catra slowly pulls her hair back into a loose ponytail. The hair-tie is slipped on and tightened, like a promise or prayer, the sanctity of a tied knot under Catra’s fingertips.

Catra speaks to Adora’s turned back then, voice low and careful. “I was outed to my last school against my will. When my mother found out she kicked me out of our home and told me to never come back. Dad has his own family now but he set me up in a house here, so I can live close by. I’ve been living alone in a crumbling house this whole year because of her. The only reason I’m still in school is so I can play football. It’s all I have left of my life before.”

“Catra,” Adora breathes. She tries to twist around but Catra’s hand on her shoulder keeps her in place. “I’m so sorry. That’s terrible.”

“Leave it. I’m not telling you this because I want your pity. I guess I just…” She stops, then sighs. Adora feels the warmth of her breath brush her neck. “I want you to know it’s okay to be scared, and it’s okay not to be out. If I could, I’d be back in my home town safely closeted right now. We do what we can to stay safe and survive. But we can’t change being queer, just as much as we can’t change our ability to love. And your love is a beautiful part of you, Adora. Even if it scares you, you need to accept it and take pride in it. I’ve learnt that there’s something wonderful in having the courage to love freely and openly. I hope one day you’ll find that same courage.”

Words escape her. Her tears are back, quietly filling her eyes and spilling out onto her cheeks. 

Finally she finds the strength to say, “I hope so too.”

There is nothing more to say after that, though their silent companionship goes beyond all that could be spoken. It’s enough, Adora realises, to make her feel safe again. The solidarity in their understanding is enough to dry the tears on Adora’s cheeks.

Minutes pass by until inexplicably, they both decide it’s time to return to the ball. Their friends are waiting, after all.

“This doesn’t mean I like you,” Adora says as they stand.

“Ditto, princess. Don’t think I’m going to be your friend tomorrow.”

“And don’t even think that I’m going to go easy on you in finals.”

“Oh, don’t worry. We’ll win either way.”

They both laugh. Adora sticks out her hand for Catra to shake, just like how they do pre-game. Catra takes it with her usual death grip, flashing a tooth filled grin.

“Enemies?”

“Enemies.” 

Chapter Text

Spring approaches fast, dressing the trees in a delicate layer of new leaves and buds. The weather gets no less wet, but there is the odd fine day. Adora’s walking back from training on one such fine day, happily basking in the little sunshine that’s peeking out from behind a cloud.

She turns onto Aviary street and is unsurprised to see the group of girls playing football with Catra. This has been a fairly regular occurrence for the past few months now. Every time there’s nice weather, sometimes even when there’s not, the girls are out there with their football, scattering from the cars that come hurtling into their game.

Leaning against a parked car, she watches the game before her. Catra takes a shot at goal and purposely misses, throwing her hands up in the air and groaning, a little too loud to be believable. The kids throw themselves at her angrily and Adora finds herself laughing. Cute.

“Adora!”

The girls shriek with excitement when they see her and pause their game to run over. Adora raises an arm in greeting, already tossing her sports bag onto the pavement as she prepares for another game. Ripley reaches Adora first and clings onto Adora’s leg. The others hit her like a steam roller, nearly knocking her over in the group hug.

“Adora, can you be on my team today?” Ripley asks, tugging at the hem of her shirt.

“Only if we get Catra!” April yells at once.

“Oh, don’t worry kiddo.” Suddenly Catra is right in front of Adora, one hand resting protectively on April’s head. She winks at Adora. “We’re going to crush them.”

That really shouldn’t have made Adora’s heart flutter like it did.

Ripley, Mal and Molly drag Adora away to their side of the road before Adora’s brain can think of a suitable response. Catra’s pulled April and Jo into a huddle, and Adora can see the smirk on her face as she whispers to them.

“Adora, stop staring at Catra,” Ripley commands. “We need to focus!”

“What?” Adora startles. “I wasn’t!”

All three girls look unimpressed.

“You kinda were,” Mal informs her apologetically.

Molly pulls Adora down so that she’s their height and whispers into her ear, “Do you like her?” 

Adora blushes hard and jerks back up. “Ripley’s right! We need to concentrate on the game!”

No sooner does she say the words than the ball goes sailing past, closely followed by April who catches up on time to kick the ball hard between the jackets marking the goal. Adora and her tiny team look on, shocked.

April struts back to her own team, shit-eating grin plastered all over her face. She pauses as she passes Adora and asks, “You were saying?”

“No fair!” shouts Ripley. “We weren’t ready!”

“That’s one-nil to us,” Jo calls from her goal. Mal pulls a face at her.

Catra takes the ball from April and treats her to a high five, which April gives with enough force to make Catra wince. Adora can feel Ripley bristling with rage beside her. She wonders if offering her a high five too would help, but realises instantly it’s a stupid idea. Her team probably hates her right now.

“They caught us by surprise this time,” she says instead, “but the next goal is ours.”

This inspires a battle cry from her team, which is so loud Adora has to cover her ears. She wishes her own team took her this seriously instead of giving her shit for her cliche one liners. That would make for a nice change.

Molly goes to take the kick-off and passes to Adora, who receives it and is instantly tackled by Catra and April. Street football is a lawless game. Unable to pass, she dodges around April and sprints down where she imagines the line would be, Catra hot on her tail. They bump shoulders and Catra shoves, forcing Adora to lose control for a second. The ball rolls into the gutter.

“Dang it!”

What proceeds next from that unfortunate turn of events is Adora, Catra, and three preteen girls all kicking at the ball in varying degrees of distress. There’s a lot of screaming. Adora remembers vaguely that she’s an adult and is supposed to be mature and calm and not scrambling around in a gutter with ten year olds. But also she really wants that ball. What can a girl do? 

The ball comes free at long last. Ripley is the first to reach it and with surprisingly good aim, kicks it into the goal. Jo, who had been on her phone, looks up guiltily.

Adora’s team celebrates, Catra’s commiserates. The game goes on in a similar fashion, neither team drawing ahead for long. The score now stands at 7-8 to Catra’s team and somehow the kids aren’t tired yet. Adora can feel sweat sliding down her spine and making her shirt cling to her skin. Her legs ache. Catra looks equally as wrecked. In their defence, they’d both had training just before coming. It’s been a long day.

Mal passes the ball to her and she kicks it wildly away from herself, then folds in half, hands on her knees and chest heaving. She’d be more embarrassed, if it weren’t for Catra doing the same thing nearby. As soon as she gets her breath back, she’s going to end the game, she decides. To hell with victory. Catra can win if it means going home for a shower.

Dear god, what has she become?

She straightens up. Someone shouts a warning but she registers it too late. The ball smashes into her face before she even has time to flinch.

Pain always takes a surprisingly long time to come. For a moment there is only the sound of ball on skin, a shock for sure, but definitely not painful. And then warmth spreads across her face, followed by a sharp sting.

She raises a hand to her nose and it comes away red.

“Oh my god, Adora! Are you okay?”

Mal and Molly reach her first, looking guilty. Adora tries to hide her bleeding nose behind a cupped hand but blood’s dripping down her chin and onto the concrete and poor little Molly is looking pale. 

Catra comes to her rescue, nudging the kids out of the way and gently pulling her hand away from her face. She grimaces, which really does not help make Adora feel better.

“That’s nasty.”

“Is it broken?”

Catra places a finger beneath Adora’s chin and turns her head from side to side, carefully inspecting the damage. 

“I think you’re fine.”

She’s so close that Adora could easily count the faint freckles dotting her bronze skin, or the impossibly long eyelashes that cast shadows over her delicate cheekbones. That’s probably a weird thing to do while bleeding heavily from the nose. Maybe the blood loss is affecting her more than she thought.

“Oh, you think I’m fine, huh? I’m flattered.”

Oh god. Oh god, did she just say that? She must've because Catra’s lips weren’t moving. She must be concussed. Please, let her be concussed. Is it possible to get concussed by a flat football?

Catra rolls her eyes at her and the finger under her chin is removed. Behind her Mal and Molly are exchanging Looks.

“Very funny. Come on, my place is just over there. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Adora doesn’t trust herself enough to open her mouth again so she follows Catra in silence, hand returning to shield her nose which has started to throb painfully. April runs up behind her looking mortified.

“Are you okay? It was an accident, I swear. I’m so sorry, Adora!” 

She looks so upset Adora wants to scoop her up into a hug, but the blood still flowing steadily from her face prevents her. Instead she pauses to address April, voice slightly muffled. 

“It’s okay, kiddo. Accidents happen.” And now to the rest of the group she says, “You should all be going home now, anyway. It’s about to get dark. Your parents are probably worried.”

The girls hesitate, still frozen by needless guilt. That is, until Catra spins around and shouts “Scram!” at the top of her lungs and they take off screaming.

Despite her harsh words Catra’s face softens as she watches them run, a fond protectiveness in the smile curling at the corners of her mouth and in the crinkles around her eyes. Maybe the kids were right about Adora staring. She definitely is now. The juxtaposition between the Catra who captains the Horde and fights her on the field and the Catra who listens to her secrets and plays with kids has her entranced. It’s like looking at a 3D picture and getting a different image every time she changes the angle.

“Hey, Adora?” Catra waves a hand in front of her face. She blinks. “You okay? You look like you’re about to faint.”

“I’m great. Never been better.”

“...Right. Come on princess, my house is right here.”

Catra wraps a hand around her arm and leads her up the path to the crumbling yellow house. It’s surreal, standing behind Catra as she unlocks the door and steps inside. She’s walked past this house every day since she started school. She knows intimately the outside decay and the myriad of plants growing wild in the garden. However after all this time she’s never been inside.

She follows Catra down a dark hallway and into the kitchen which is much cleaner but smaller than Adora’s own. Catra shoves her down into a chair and vanishes to grab some tissues. Blood is still dripping languidly from her nose, though it’s slowing. She pinches her nostrils and tilts her head back, wincing.

“What the fuck are you doing, idiot?”

Catra has returned, armed with tissues and an ice pack. She deposits her load onto the table and reaches forward to smack Adora’s head down. 

“You’re supposed to tip your head forward, not backward. Don’t you know anything?”

Adora grins. Her mouth tastes metallic.

“I know that you like me enough to care.”

“Ugh, whatever.” Catra shoves a wad of tissues into Adora’s face aggressively, stubbornly looking away. “I don’t like you. You’re just grossing me out.”

“You wouldn’t be so grossed out if you hadn’t let me in, you know. This is on you.”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re really annoying?” 

“Surprisingly, no. I’m a delight.”

Catra rolls her eyes at her. “Sure you are, princess. Wait here. I’m going to have a shower.”  

A shower sounds absolutely incredible right now. Adora’s covered in sweat and blood and dust from the road and she’s probably stinking up a storm. Unbidden, the thought of joining Catra in the shower springs to mind and she blushes, forcing herself to think of literally anything else. A shower will have to wait until she gets home.

The sound of running water fills up the tiny house and then Catra’s faint humming drifts through the walls. Cute. Adora sits back, then stands, then sits again, flexing and clenching her fingers. Her leg bounces under the table. Finally curiosity gets the better of her and she gets up to explore the rest of the house.

She’d known that Catra lives alone here, but that still doesn’t prepare her for how bare the place is. The house is like a carcass stripped of flesh, just the bones remaining. It’s the skeleton of a home. The walls are devoid of pictures and posters which can be found in abundance in Adora’s own home. There’s no height markers scribbled across doorways, no worn down furniture. In fact, there’s barely any furniture at all, just the table in the kitchen and a few chairs. Adora doesn’t check to see if there’s a bed in the bedroom. She’s not sure if she wants to know.

She returns to the kitchen and opens the bin to drop her bloody tissues into. She stops. The bin is full to bursting with take-out containers and pizza boxes. Does Catra really live like this?

“Thinking of throwing yourself in?”

Adora jumps and spins around guiltily. Catra is standing in the doorway, smirking. She’s changed out of her sports gear in favour of sweats and an old shirt. Her hair is wrapped up in a towel but there’s a few loose strands that are dripping water droplets down her neck. One such water droplet curves over her collar bone and slides slowly towards her chest. She tilts her head and Adora remembers that she’s supposed to reply.

“Do you want to come to dinner?”

Okay, that was not supposed to be what came out of her mouth. The expression on Catra’s face is just as surprised as she feels. Maybe Catra’s suggestion of throwing herself in the trash isn’t a bad idea after all.

“I’m sorry, I think I have a bit of water in my ear. What did you just say?”

“I said, do you want to come to dinner? Tonight?” The sentence comes out haltingly, yet Adora is now sure in herself. “You keep helping me, even though you hate me. I just want to return the favour.”

Catra snorts derisively and saunters past Adora to slam the bin lid shut. “I’m not a charity case, princess. I told you I didn’t want your pity.”

“Glimmer and Bow are coming over too!” She’s pleading now. Why is she pleading? It’s like she has this sudden urge to put Catra and herself back on even footing. Now that they’re not mortal enemies (arch nemeses maybe) Adora feels like she doesn’t know where she stands with Catra anymore. It’s confusing and disorienting, and it makes Catra’s acts of kindness harder to accept lightly. “Mum’s cooking enough for like ten people, it really won’t be any trouble. Please let me make us even.”

“Adora-” Catra hesitates. She looks from the bin to Adora and back again. Her shoulders slump. “Fine. I’ll come to dinner with you and your nerd friends. But don’t expect me to thank you.”

Adora can’t seem to stop the grin the splits across her face, even though it makes her nose sting. The grin grows even wider when Catra shoots her a startled expression, eyebrows crinkling endearingly.

“Stop smiling like that.”

“Okay.”

They stand there, staring for each other for a moment, then Catra shakes her head a little and turns away.

“Give me a minute to get ready, I’ll be right back.”

“Sounds good!”

The walk back to Adora’s is surprisingly pleasant. Catra regales her with stories of the Horde’s crazy coach and the team’s shenanigans.  Adora tells her about how Hawkins had set her couch on fire the same day they had met. Catra snorts at that one and she’s still chuckling slightly under her breath when they arrive at Adora’s front door.

Adora pushes her way inside and instantly the smell of cooking food envelops them. Almost as instantly, Adora’s mother bustles her way into the hallway looking frazzled.

“Adora, you’re late! Bow and Glimmer are already here.”

“Sorry mum, lost track of time.”

“Adora… what happened to your nose? It looks bruised.”

“Stray ball. I’ve brought Catra along too, is that alright?”

“Of course! It’s lovely to meet you, Catra,” her voice trails away uncertainly as she sees Catra standing behind Adora. Her eyes widen in recognition. Adora remembers too late that her mother had come to her games, and that the impression Catra had left from them was not… great.

Catra waves awkwardly. “Lovely to meet you, too. Uh, thanks for having me over.”

Adora’s mum looks at Adora with her eyebrows raised, as if silently asking Adora if she knew who she’d just invited into their house. If there was one thing the two of them could agree on, it was hatred for the Horde. Adora smiles and that seems to relax her a little.

“Well, you’d both better come through to the kitchen. Bow and Glimmer are waiting.”

Bow and Glimmer are even more shocked to see Catra than Adora’s mother was. Bow stands up from his seat so fast he nearly knocks it over. Glimmer merely freezes, mouth gaping slightly. They’re both wearing party hats.

“Hi guys,” Adora says awkwardly. “Sorry I’m late. We got a bit… distracted.”

Oh man, she really did nothing to ease the awkwardness of the situation just then. Catra shifts slightly behind Adora, clearly uncomfortable.

Bow is the first to shake it off. He bounds around the table and pulls Adora into a spine crushing hug.

“Doesn’t matter. Happy birthday, babes!”

“Happy birthday, Adora!”

Glimmer wraps her arms around both of them and for a moment the tension of the room melts into the group hug like butter in a pan. They all squeeze tight for a moment, and then they release. A well wrapped present is conjured from seemingly nowhere and pushed into her hands by Bow.

“We combined our gift this year. Glimmer did the wrapping.”

Adora doesn’t need to be told this. The wrapping is covered in sparkles.

“Aww, thanks guys!” She pulls them into another brief hug. “I’ll open it after dinner.”

Catra taps her on the shoulder. Adora had almost forgotten she was there. Guiltily, she leans in close to hear Catra’s embarrassed mumble.

“Adora, can I have a word?”

She shrugs and makes a half-assed excuse to her friends, leading Catra into the hallway again. As soon as she’s sure they’re alone, Catra turns on her, looking put out.

“You didn’t tell me it was your birthday. I would’ve got you something.”

“I’m pretty sure enemies don’t buy each other birthday presents.”

“Well, they don’t invite each other over for birthday dinner either!”

“I’m just returning the favour from the ball, don’t get ahead of yourself.”

Catra crosses her arms and glares daggers at Adora, who returns the gesture haughtily. Surprisingly, it only takes a few seconds for Catra to break their standoff and hang her head, so Adora can no longer meet her eyes.

“There’s no favour to return,” she mutters, sounding bitter. “I didn’t do what I did at the ball to one up you or anything.”

Just like that, the words Adora had been fearing are spoken into existence. How is she supposed to react to that? How is she supposed to feel, aside from the fluttering in her stomach that has suddenly burst to life? The more she tries to mould their relationship into something she can understand, the more Catra ruins it.

“Look, if that’s all you wanted me here for, I’ll leave. It wasn’t my intention to crash a party.”

“No!”

Her hand closes around Catra’s wrist, tightly. Funny- she hadn’t realised she was going to do that. They’re both staring down at their hands now, like they no longer belong to them. Like they’re instead serving a need greater than the two of them can ever understand.

“Uh,” says Catra.

“Maybe this is selfish of me,” Adora says. She still hasn’t let go. “You were right, at the ball. I can’t take hiding anymore. You make me feel stronger. Please let me use you, just for one night.”

Catra’s face turns an unexpected shade of pink. It takes a few moments, and then Adora feels the blush start to furiously climb up her own neck. Oh god. Why did she just say that?

“Sorry, that came out wrong-“

“Okay. I’ll stay.”

“Wait, really?”

Catra won’t meet her eye but she nods towards the floor in confirmation. After another embarrassed moment she opens her mouth like she’s about to say something, but Adora’s mother chooses that moment to yell to them from the kitchen that their food is going cold. Adora lets go of Catra’s wrist abruptly. When Catra shoots her a withering look, she brings that same hand up to her arm and clings to it self consciously.

“I guess we should go through, then?”

Catra smirks. “I guess we should.”

Dinner is an interesting affair. The atmosphere swings randomly between warm and tense, conversations heating up and then dying with barely any warning. Adora hates to say it, but she knows it’s because of Catra. They’re all trying, even Catra is making an effort, but she can tell her friends and mother are totally confused as to why she was even here.

Despite this, Adora still wouldn’t have it any other way. She’d resolved herself to do what she thought was impossible tonight, and Catra’s presence beside her at the table provided the strength she needed to go through with it. Catra was a fleshed out reminder that Adora was going to be okay.

It’s during one of the tense, quieter moments that Adora decides, with a pounding heart, that her moment has come.

“Hey, mum?”

“Yes, darling?”

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” 

She can’t bring herself to meet her mother’s eyes. Instead, she looks at her friends. Bow and Glimmer are still eating, looking totally relaxed. They don’t seem to have noticed the magnitude of what Adora’s about to do, what she’s fighting down being sick over. She could stop right now, make up some lie about what she was going to say. No one would know.

“It’s uh… It’s… um.”

Underneath the table, Catra grabs her hand. She’s worked it out. No going back now, or Catra will give her shit for it forever. It’s a surprisingly encouraging thought.

She squeezes Catra’s hand and stares down at her dinner plate. She waits for pandemonium.

“I’m gay.”

Silence falls almost as loudly as the knife in her mother’s hand. The clanging of metal on wood echoes and then fades away, as if embarrassed. No one had warned Adora that silence could be this deafening.  

“What?”

Bow and Glimmer are both gaping, mouths wide open. Adora still can’t look at her mother.

“I like girls, mum. I always have.”

“What about Kyle? Wasn’t he your boyfriend for a while?”

“Yeah, when I was, like, twelve. I didn’t actually like him, mum. I just wanted to fit in.”

“Oh, honey…”

Adora’s grip on Catra’s hand tightens. Out of the corner of her eye she can see Catra wince, yet she can’t seem to make herself let go.

“I’m still your daughter. I’m still me, mum.”

“I know. It’s okay, we can… we can work through this.”

“There’s nothing to work through. I’m proud of who I am and I have no intention to try and change.”

“Honey…” Adora’s mother looks pained. “You know how I feel about those kinds of people. Especially after what happened.”

“We’re not all like him, mum. And… and how dare you? Those kinds of people?!” 

“Oh, you know what I mean.”

Adora stands up so fast her chair falls over backwards. Catra’s hand is ripped from hers as she shouts, “the word is queer, mum. Q. U. E. E. R. And I fucking am one!”

She’s met with stony silence as her mother stares at her with a blank expression. Finally she stands too, much slower than Adora had.

“I think your friends should go,” she says quietly.

Adora had almost forgotten they had an audience. She looks down at her friends who all look a mix of uncomfortable and concerned. Glimmer looks like she’s about to cry. When she meets Bow’s eye, he reaches over the table to take her hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

Adora shakes her head, blinking the angry tears out of her eyes.

“No, it’s okay. It’s getting late anyway.”

There’s a faint tremor in her hands as she escorts her friends to the door. She clenches them into fists to stop it and relishes at the bite in her palms from her nails. Her mother has vanished back into the kitchen.

“You can come home with me if you want, Adora,” Glimmer offers. She’s put her shoes back on but is hesitating by the closed door, looking worried. “Mum won’t mind.”

Adora assures her that it’s fine, then reassures Bow too when he starts to protest. Bow and Glimmer leave together after one last spine-crushing group hug, and then it’s just Catra left, standing by the door in her leather jacket, holding Tupperware stuffed full with birthday cake.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

For a moment, Adora almost believes Catra looks genuinely concerned. But of course that’s all in her head. She sighs. “Look. I invited you here so I could return a favour and yet somehow you still ended up helping me. You’ve done more than enough. Just go so I don’t have to owe you any more.”

Catra shrugs, but she looks put out. “Have it your way, princess. Thanks for the food”

She turns to go with a scowl and Adora immediately regrets ever inviting her. It was clear her rival had only come for a decent meal, and Adora had gone and caught her up in all her gay crisis bullshit again.

She should’ve known, really. It had all become so twisted up in her mind. Catra had been her living proof that life would go on after being out, that Adora could still be okay.

This did not feel like okay.

She’s been standing in the open doorway too long. Glimmer, Bow and Catra have long since vanished into the dark, leaving her behind with the person she wants to see the least. She shivers, the closes the door. When her world doesn’t immediately shatter to pieces, she goes to her room and collapses on her bed.

She doesn’t know how long she lies there for. At some point she starts crying, tears soaking into her pillow. She’s so angry she could scream, but at the same time she feels so incredibly fragile, and she knows the action would break her. Eventually she hears soft footsteps coming to a pause outside her room.

There’s a short rap on the door.

“Adora, can I come in?”

Adora sits up, quickly rubbing her sleeve across her eyes. 

“Yeah, of course.”

Her mum comes in. Adora quietly thanks the stars that it’s too dark in her room for them to properly see each other’s faces. More specifically, for her mother to see her tear tracks.

The bed sags a little when her mother sits down next to her. She remembers with sudden clarity how her mother would do this when she was a kid, and she would crawl into her lap to wait out the tears and the hurt. Adora makes sure to keep a foot’s distance between them this time. She can tell her mum notices by the tiny sigh that escapes her. She tries to ignore how bad that makes her feel.

“I wanted to apologise for the things I said at dinner, for how I... reacted.”

Adora doesn’t reply.

“I was a little shocked, I admit. You know how hard this is for me, especially because of your father-”

“Dad’s gone,” Adora snaps. She doesn’t mean for it to come out that harshly. “And yeah, he was an asshole for leaving, but he couldn’t help being gay either. It’s not something we get to choose. You need to get over it already.”

Her mother sighs again and hangs her head. “Oh sweetie, I know. Don’t think I don’t know that.”

“You have no idea how hard it is,” Adora sniffs. “You have no idea how much I hated myself for being like him. How much I was afraid of you hating me more.”

“Sweetie, I could never hate you.”

“Yeah, well we both know you thought that about dad as well.” The words hit like a punch but Adora doesn’t wait for her to recover before she bulldozes on. “My friendships were almost destroyed because of this hate you taught me. How could I be happy for my friends when they came out when I couldn’t even be out to myself? It’s unfair, mum. And it’s awful because I shouldn’t be jealous of them but I am.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t really cut it anymore.”

It’s a relief, not being able to see her mother’s face. It’s easier to throw words like punches when you can’t see the bruising. She can’t help but feel a sick sort of triumph when her mother gets up to leave, and the emotion both thrills and disgusts her.

Her mother pauses and sets something down on her bed. Then she’s gone, shutting the door behind her.

Adora has to turn the light on to see what her mother had given her. To her surprise, she sees two small packages. One is the gift from Bow and Glimmer. She knows instinctively that the other is from her mother.

She opens the one from Bow and Glimmer first and the wrappings fall open in a cloud of glitter. They’ve made her a photo album, from the looks of it documenting their group’s entire friendship in a montage of truly terrible pictures. Despite the awful boiling feeling in her chest and the tears which have started anew, Adora can’t stop the laugh that bursts unexpectedly from her mouth. She can tell they went out of their way to pick the ugliest photos of Adora they could find. It’s weirdly touching.

She almost doesn’t open the present from her mother. In the end, she’s not even sure why she does. Surely rejecting her mother’s love would be easier than seeing it become corrupted? But she can’t help herself.

The wrapping tears open to reveal a small black box. Inside is a hei matau pendant carved from pounamu. She lifts it out carefully, but does not place the black cord around her neck. It dangles from her fingertips, its dark bottle-green colour gently illuminated by the light of her room.

The fishhook. Safe passage over water.

She wonders how long her mother had saved to get her one of these before she left for university. Then she tries to force herself not to care. It’s hard though, when the realisation that she won’t have to care about what her mother thinks in a few months has suddenly hit her. The weight of it is in her hand, suspended by string.

But no, she refuses to think like that. Not now, not after tonight.

She brings forth the rage that had been so acute just a minute ago and lets herself sink back into it. The pounamu is placed back in the box, out of sight. For good measure, she turns the lights out too and shuts her eyes, burying her face into her pillow. She does not sleep.

September 9, 2018

1:26. A.M.

Bow: Hey

Bow: I’m really proud of you

Bow: And I know tonight was really rough and you must be super angry

Bow: But remember that good things will come out of this too. You’re not alone in this, Glimmer and I are here for you all the way

Bow: Not every coming out experience will be as bad as this one, so don’t be afraid to be yourself now

Bow: I know you are, Adora. But you’ve got the hardest part out of the way

Bow: I love you

September 9, 2018

2 :57. A.M.

Adora: I love you too, Bow

Chapter Text

The next couple of days are hard. Adora and her mother don’t say a word to each other besides cursory pleasantries. They do such a good job of avoiding each other that sometimes Adora feels as if she lives alone in their small house. Football practice is her saving grace.

Finals are coming up that weekend, which means two very important things for Adora. First: more and longer practice sessions, which means less time seeing her mother. Second: the finals are played away from home in a country-wide tournament over the course of the weekend. All the rural schools will be in attendance, including the Princesses and the Horde. This means no time seeing her mother.

It’s a horribly happy thought, and one that gets her through to the weekend without fuss. Friday afternoon comes and the team, worn out by their last gruelling practice for the year, clamber onto the bus that will bring them to what they hope is their victory.

Glimmer is there to see them off, as well as a few other parents. Adora doesn’t even bother to check if her mother had made an appearance. Instead, she hugs Glimmer and climbs on board. Mira is the next on the bus and she takes the seat next to Adora, instantly pulling out her phone.

Despite everything, despite all the new and awful things that has happened, there is still a buzz in the air. Fresh, like spring. Ready to snap. The team boards the bus with loud voices and Adora settles in for the long drive, ready for what’s to come.

September 12, 2018

4:23 P.M.

seagull: is anyone down for a sing along

Vice Mom: Oh always

Vice Mom: Im thinking Taylor swift

seamonster: Absolutely not. Both of you are disqualified.

seagull: what???? you cant disqualify me were not even there yet???

Vice Mom: Im the vice captain?

guardian of the net: I second that @seamonster

Vice Mom: veto!!

guardian of the net: I veto the veto

Vice Mom: I veto the vetoed veto

SpinballElla <3: I veto that veto

guardian of the net: wait are you vetoing my veto or…

Bad vegan: Coach just said she’s going to kick you off the team if you don’t stop singing @seagull

seagull: yes… I think I got that from her shouting

seagull: but thanks for putting it in writing as well

Bad vegan: just trying to be helpful

seamonster: I think we should kick him off the team anyway… just in case

seagull: VETO!!!

5:42 P.M.

Francesca: Please tell me we’re nearly there

SpinballElla <3: Sorry hon, we’re still an hour away

Francesca: Can someone please switch seats with me

SpinballElla <3: Why?

Francesca: Bow’s been playing Frosty the Snowman on repeat for 20min now and he Won’t Stop

Vice Mom: Its a good song francesca

Francesca: I actually hate you right now

Bow changed Francesca’s nickname to Frosty

Frosty: I hate this family

Francesca removed her own nickname

seagull: ill switch with u for ur bag of gummy snakes @francesca

Francesca: Done.

6:02 P.M.

Adora changed her own nickname to Captain Lesbian

guardian of the net: holy shit

guardian of the net: is this for real?

Captain Lesbian: yes

guardian of the net: oh my god

guardian of the net: its happening

SpinballElla <3: Wow! Thanks for trusting us with this Adora <3 Good for you

bad vegan: We love you adora!

Bow changed his own nickname to Vice Gay

Vice Gay: @adora babe i love and support u sm u cant see this but im literally crying rn

seagull: he is

guardian of the net: peak wlw mlm solidarity

Francesca: What the heck is mlm and wlw??

Puawai changed her own nickname to Trans vegan

Trans vegan: @adora i love and support u too

Trans vegan: welcome to the community <3

Natasha changed Puawai’s nickname to Trans bad vegan

guardian of the net: dont think ur getting away w it that easily

seamonster: This has to be the queerest football team in the country

Trans bad vegan: Isnt it wonderful?

It’s getting late by the time they arrive, cramped and exhausted, but still buzzing from that same feeling Adora had sensed earlier. Their accomodation is the dormitories of a boarding school, which a fair few of the teams competing are staying at. Coach kicks them off the bus to a few yawns and complaints from those who had chosen to nap.

The dormitories are kind of awful. Awful in a fun, hey we’re all in this together, it’ll be like a sleepover, kind of way. Their team is all sleeping in one room. Sure there are ‘bedrooms’ but they’re just beds and a bit of floor space separated by walls that reach Adora’s waist. She could easily stand up and talk to anyone in the room.

“I dibs this one!” Francesca shrieks, and she launches herself past Adora to a bed that’s seemingly identical to the others. This sparks chaos in their group and suddenly everyone is stampeding, trying to get to the bed of their choice.

“Quiet!”

Adora jumps. She hadn’t noticed Coach coming into the room behind her. She claps her hands and the room falls still.

“Dinner is in five minutes. You’ll find the dining hall down the corridor and to your left. I don’t want to see any of you late.”

She leaves again and Adora lets out a sigh, collapsing on the nearest available bed. It’s weird. She doesn’t feel quite present. Every time she blinks she half expects to be back home. She should feel happy, anxious, something.

“Heeeey!” Bow leans precariously over her cubicle wall, excited grin dancing across his face. “How is my favourite captain?”

“Better now you’re here,” Adora admits. She sits up and stretches her arms over her head, narrowly avoiding whacking Bow in the head. “Do you want to head over and get dinner? I’m starving.”

“Ooh, a dinner date? How romantic.”

Adora does whack him this time (gently), but Bow laughs it off easily. The rest of the team have started to gravitate towards Adora’s bedroom- if you can call it that- with hungry expressions on their faces.

“You know you guys can go without me,” Adora says.

“We are mere children,” Sean Hawkins says solemnly. “Incapable of doing anything on our own.”

“We weren’t listening when Coach said where the dining hall was,” Mira informs her.

Adora sighs and stands, somehow already exhausted. “Ok, team. Let’s go.”

There are a few teams already in the dining hall when they arrive, chatting excitedly and running around with trays filled with overcooked food. The Princesses take their place in the queue for dinner, looking around at their soon-to-be competitors with interest.

Adora is scooping overcooked vegetables onto her plate when Puawai taps her arm. When she looks up, confused, Puawai points and directs Adora’s attention to the door. There are three people standing there, but Adora only has eyes for the girl in the middle.

“Hey, Adora!”

“Oh, are you kidding me?” She doesn’t even bother to put her tray down before she’s storming towards Catra, Sonia and Erica, embarrassment and anger raging equally in her chest. Catra smiles as she approaches. “What are you doing here?”

“Same thing as you, princess. This is where we’re staying over finals.” Catra pouts suddenly, and her hand shoots out to grip Adora’s arm. “Aren’t you glad to see me?”

Maybe a little. Not even Adora can ignore the way her heart had swooped when Catra had touched her arm. So yes, maybe a little, but she will never tell Catra that.

“I’ll only be glad to see you when we beat you and take gold.”

“Stay miserable, then.”

The hand is removed and the trio brush past Adora without another word, though Sonia does shoot her a brilliant smile. Adora turns and watches them go, arm still tingling where Catra had been holding it. She wonders, angrily, why she’s like this.

After a moment she realises she’s blocking the doorway and quickly goes to sit down at a table where Bow had graciously saved her a seat. He’s deep in conversation with Sean Hawkins and Natasha when she sits down, but is quick to stop and turn to her.

“What was that about?”

“No one told me the Horde would be here,” Adora huffs.

“Ok, maybe I misread it, but I thought you and Catra were friends now? She was there when you… when it was your birthday.”

“Yeah, she was.”

Adora stares down at her food in a sulk. Grabbing her fork, she begins to pick at the mushy beans and cauliflower, pushing them around her plate despondently. Her appetite seems to have abandoned her.

Bow sighs and puts down his own cutlery, and the clatter causes Sean Hawkins and Natasha to look up and pause.

“Look, I don’t want you to get weird about this but… don’t you think it’s time you get over your rivalry with Catra?” Adora shoots him her nastiest glare but Bow continues on quickly, refusing to back down. “I don’t just mean with Catra either. As much as we fight, the Horde is from the same town as us. Some of them are even our friends. We should be supporting them this weekend and looking out for each other.”

Adora splutters, trying to gather up her shocked and indignant thoughts to line them up into a sentence. “Support… support the Horde? Bow, have you lost your mind?”

“Adora. It’s just a game. And besides, in a few months we’ll all be out of high school and gone anyway. Shouldn’t we just have fun with it?”

Adora turns to Sean Hawkins and Natasha, gesturing at Bow furiously. “Can you believe this?”

“Actually Adora, Bow kind of has a point,” Natasha says.

“I’m team Bow, here.”

“Traitors!”

Bow leans back in his chair and covers his face with his hands, a picture of exasperation.

“See, this is what I meant when I said I didn’t want you to get weird.”

Adora stabs a burnt sausage with her fork and pouts. “You’re the one being weird.”

“Oh, quit sulking. You know I’m right.”

Adora takes a bite of her sausage so she doesn’t have to answer that. There’s a small part of her, beneath the bitterness at Catra, the years of prejudice against the Horde, and her competitive streak that refuses to let her lose an argument, that does know he’s right.

But Catra… she still doesn’t know where she stands with Catra. Assuming friendship after that disastrous night is dangerous, while hating her is insulting. The only thing Adora has left is their rivalry, though even that seems to have started crumbling, like every other foundation in her life that she once thought was solid.

She lingers on that thought throughout the rest of dinner, idly staring off into space as conversation flows freely around her. It’s not until Catra stands up to return her tray that Adora realises she hasn’t been staring into space at all. Her fork, which until then had been making a direct line to her mouth, veers off course and jabs her almost painfully in the cheek.

Everyone laughs at her for that. Even after they clear up their own dishes and return to the dorms Natasha is still mocking her, because of course she had seen exactly who Adora had been gaping at. Adora supposes this is her punishment for coming out to her team. As much as they claim to love and support her, the new information has only made her closest teammates crueler. She can tell this will be a great source of suffering for her in the upcoming days.

And yet.

And yet she can’t help but blush when Natasha and Ella make cooing noises at her. And when she goes to sleep that night, she’s too busy thinking of Catra sleeping somewhere in the same building as her to remember to be nervous about the tournament tomorrow. It’s perhaps the best night’s rest she’s had in weeks.

___________________

Daytime is announced by Coach storming into the room and yelling. Not exactly the peaceful Saturday morning Adora had envisioned, but it will have to do. The team stumble around the dorm, pulling on assorted bits of football gear and in Sean Hawkins case, panicking over missing socks. They congregate towards the dining hall as one, like a great, yawning beast. Adora is definitely not disappointed that she only catches a glimpse of Catra at the very end of breakfast when she stumbles in with the Horde, somehow looking even more tired than the Princesses. Not that she was looking for her.

Her thoughts are thankfully ripped from her rival captain by Coach Hunter, who gathers their team up and leads them towards the field. Their game is scheduled first, which Adora thinks is unfair, and Bow thinks is invigorating or some shit. He’s bouncing around like an excited puppy while Adora is still trying to fully wake her brain before they reach the grass. Morning people…

The competition is done in the style of a knockout tournament, which means they only have two games at most today, assuming they win the first. If all goes well, they’ll be playing quarter finals and finals tomorrow. Adora hadn’t needed to study the bracket to know when they’d get to play the Horde. Natasha had gleefully informed her that morning when the bracket had first been posted.

Quarter finals.

That is, if they make it through. She’s not sure why now, but for some reason Adora had always thought that her last match against the Horde would be in the finals. Some gut instinct had told her that they’d be battling for first place, stakes high and hearts bared.

It’s… it’s just wrong that only one of their teams will get to go on to the final match. It almost feels unfair. She has to fake a smile and laugh off Natasha’s comment about getting to see her ‘rival’ sooner because that’s not what she wants. It’s not how things were supposed to go.

But never mind that now. Adora shakes her head to rid herself of the thought. What’s important now is the game in front of her. What’s important is winning. She shakes hands with the other captain at centre field and when the ref flips a coin she calls heads.

The other team is not ready for the force that is Adora. It’s odd, but the game is different somehow. The normally frustrated tension to Adora’s movements is gone, the anxiety to score and score and score, now replaced by a consuming need to just play, even beyond the whistle for half time. When they walk off the field all she wants to do is kick the ball and keep running. Maybe it’s because her mother isn’t yelling at her from the sidelines, or because the opposing team is honestly pretty terrible. Regardless, she’s playing in top form today.

Coach Hunter dolls out criticism with their orange slices, but Adora can tell she’s pleased. The pep talk Adora gives is short and sweet, and the team, filled with confidence, sprints back to the field to continue the beating of the other team.

They win, of course, and they do it with ease. Adora shakes hands with the other team and fails to feel bad for them, not when she is finally feeling so good. Coach slaps her on the back when she returns and sends them back for lunch, though the only place Adora wants to be is back on the field. It will have to wait, for now.

“Okay, so are we going to talk about how incredible that was?”

Bow slams his tray down on the table where the seniors are sitting, splattering tomato sauce everywhere. Adora leans back calmly and moves her own tray to a safer spot.

“Bow. Sauce.”

“Oh right. Sorry, sorry.”

He sits down much more gently and accepts the napkin Puawai offers him.

“You’re right though,” Adora says. She’s been thinking about the game non-stop since they’d left the field. The feeling of the ball at her feet, the exhilaration she’d felt as she’d scored, is maddeningly addictive. She can’t stop thinking about it, she wants to taste that drug again. The spaghetti they’d been served for lunch just wasn’t cutting it. “There was something different about that game, don’t you think?”

“There was something different about you, Adora.”

Adora points a finger at herself, confused. “Me?”

Mira scoffs. “Um, obviously? You were like a whole other player.”

“Honestly, it was kind of inspiring.”

“But…” Adora waves her hand vaguely. “What was different? What was I doing?”

The table falls silent for a moment, and the serious, contemplative expressions on everyone’s faces almost scare Adora a bit. Even Sean Hawkins seems to be thinking hard. Bow at last raises his hand in the air, like a kid wanting to answer a question in class.

“You just… looked like you were having fun, you know? And I guess that made us want to have fun too.”

“Oh my gosh, you’re so right,” Puawai gasps. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you have fun while playing, Adora!”

“It’s actually a little sad,” Sean Hawkins intones.

Adora looks at all their pitying faces indignantly. “I- I have fun!” She splutters. “Why would I play football if I wasn’t having fun? C’mon guys…” She plasters a smile on her face in an attempt to be convincing. Her friends just shake their heads at her, sadly.

“Probably an inferiority complex?”

“Parental pressure to succeed?”

“An excuse to see the hot Horde Captain? What was her name? Cat-”

Adora lunges forward to slam her hand over Sean Hawkins mouth just as the hot Horde Captain herself enters the dining room. Catra is stretching her arms over her head as she walks in, a smirk riding confidently on her lips. She casts a lazy glance in their direction and Adora hastily removes her hand from Hawkin’s mouth and sits back down, blushing furiously. Catra’s shoulders shake in a laugh Adora can’t hear, and then she’s turning back to her friends. Adora sinks so low into her seat that her head is level with the table.

“Do you think they won?” Puawai asks, ignoring Adora’s misery.

“No one can look that happy after losing,” Bow reasons. He pats Adora on the head. “Be strong Adora. You need to finish lunch before our next game.”

Reluctantly, Adora pulls herself back up and shoves more of the awful spaghetti into her mouth. Bow nods approvingly and the conversation turns to more safe waters for the remainder of lunch.

Back on the field again, Adora faces her team. They’re standing on the sidelines in a huddle, waiting for her to speak. It’s not that Adora hates pep talks, it’s just that she keeps running out of original content. Honestly, she should just start writing them down the night before. Usually she pulls some bullshit out of her ass about how hard they’ve worked and how they have to put all that on the field and just win. The feeling is back though, the one she’d had in their last game. Suddenly a talk like that no longer feels appropriate.

She looks at Bow for help. He gives her the thumbs up.

“Why do we play football?”

Crap. That’s not what she’d thought she was going to say. Why would she ask such a weird question? The rest of the team is looking at her now, and she inwardly shakes herself. She’s supposed to be inspiring them right now.

“I mean… can we all just take a moment to think about that for a moment? Why do we get up every morning at ass o’clock to practice kicking a ball? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to win a game?” She takes a moment to look at the faces of her team. They’re mostly confused, especially the first years. Fuck it, it’s too late to stop now. “I know all of you have your different motivations, whether it’s to get fit, or have something to put on a university application. I want all of you to take that motivation out with you onto the field today. Most importantly, I want you to play with the love behind it. Today, whether we win or lose, we are going to love football!”

She stops, panting slightly. She hadn’t realised she’d started shouting. Her team stares at her, blank faced. Then, Bow cheers, punching a fist into the air. That’s all it takes for the rest of the team to start cheering too, and then Mira and Puawai are pulling her forwards into a group hug. Adora can feel tears pricking at her eyes. Her teammates have never received her pep talks without a certain degree of roasting before.

Eventually Coach breaks up the hug, with a laugh.

“Alright, that’s lovely and all, but if you kids don’t get on the field right now, I’ll kick all your asses.”

“Yes, coach!”

Adora sprints to centre field, the rest of her teams spreading out behind her. The ball lands at her feet. She feels light.

Chapter Text

Adora can’t sleep. The bed is uncomfortable, her pillow too thin, the room too cold. And Francesca snores like a tank. But also she’s nervous. She knows that’s the reason, really. Francesca’s racket has never stopped her from sleeping before. Her thoughts keep circling back to their next game, no matter where else she drags them. The quarter finals where they’ll finally face the Horde.

Eventually, she gets up. There’s no point lying in wait for sleep- the kettle will never boil if you watch it. By the light of the moon streaking through the blinds, she carefully creeps out of the room and down the hall into the dining hall to find some water. To her surprise, someone’s there already.

They’re sitting hunched at one of the tables and after a few seconds Adora realises with a start that it’s none other than Catra. For one wild moment, she debates running back to bed and pretending she’d never seen Catra here in a clearly vulnerable and private moment. But she’s drawn to Catra. She can’t help it. She approaches her rival with the strange boldness only gifted to the numb and exhausted.

Catra looks up. She looks small, sitting like this, in her PJs and dressing gown, eyes half closed from sleep. Not the mature, intimidating figure she usually seems to be in Adora’s eyes.

“Can’t sleep?” Catra whispers, and her voice sounds strangely thick.

“No. You?”

Catra shakes her head. Adora sits down opposite her. Two sleep-deprived captains make better company than one, even if they are enemies. They sit there in miserable silence for a second, and then Catra sighs and lays her head down on the table.

“I shouldn’t be here,” she mutters.

“Technically, neither of us should. We’re breaking curfew.”

“No.” Catra lifts her head to meet Adora’s eyes. She sounds frustrated, bitter. “I shouldn’t be playing football. I shouldn’t have captained this team.”

Adora stares back at her, dumbfounded. “Why would you say that?” She asks, bewildered. “You’re probably the best football player in the whole town.”

“No, I am. There’s no probably.”

Adora tries not to be offended. It’s easier not to be when Catra leans back and Adora sees the look of defeat on her face. It’s a strange look on her. Adora finds she doesn’t like it.

“Catra… are you okay?”

“Do you know why I play football, princess?” 

Adora shakes her head, lost. Catra smiles grimly.

“It’s because of my mother. I’ve tried to tell myself it’s not, to twist my motivation some other way… but I’ve just been in denial. I’m still living in her shadow.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She was the one who taught me football in the first place,” Catra explains bitterly. “She was my coach back home. And she was never satisfied with me. I hated it so much, I hated her. But… when I left home I couldn’t let it go. As messed up as it sounds I clung to football because it made me feel close to her. Like, if I could just win enough games, become good enough, I’d be the daughter she always wanted me to be and she’d take me back.”

Adora is a storm of emotions, anger and sympathy and confusion, but for Catra’s sake she doesn’t let it show. Instead, she quietly says, “She sounds awful. How could you ever go back to that?”

“Don’t think I haven’t asked myself the same thing. I still have nightmares about her. I’ve tried to force myself to reject her by rebelling. I eat trash food, I act out and I talk back. I kissed you. And yeah, I’m still sorry about that. Shitty motivation right? You deserve to be kissed by someone without an agenda and parental baggage.” Adora opens her mouth to argue but Catra keeps talking, as if unable to stop. “I’ve done everything to try force myself to move on, to prove I don’t need her. But I can’t let go of football. I just… can’t. It’s like I’d die without it.”

“Huh.” She looks at Catra’s pained expression and for a moment it’s like looking in a mirror. She knows the exact feeling Catra’s describing, as intimately as she knows her own joy and anger. It’s the feeling of drowning in an ice cold ocean, of having no control where the water’s pulling you and getting closer to complete and utter exhaustion the more she struggles. And the football? That’s the life-ring keeping her afloat. And it takes that intense recognition for Adora to suddenly realise she hasn’t felt like that in several days. “I used to think like that too, I think.”

“Used to? Princess, I’ve seen you play. If anyone’s got a more unhealthy attachment to football than me, it’s you.”

“No…” Adora bites her lip thoughtfully, then bites harder to stifle a yawn. “No, I think that changed recently. I realised in our last game. I’m not here to win anymore… I just love the game.”

Catra scoffs disbelievingly. “Oh, sure. And you just had this whole attitude change over night?  That seems believable.”

“I think it was the kids,” Adora continues, ignoring Catra. “Ripley and Molly and all of them. It was different playing with them, there wasn’t any pressure to win. It reminded me of why I started football in the first place. I used to play street football, too. None of us cared about winning, or rivalries, or taking a team to the finals. We just wanted to kick a flat ball between some cracks in the road.”

Catra’s looking at her now intently and with her exhaustion-fuelled courage, Adora reaches over the table to grab her shoulder. “You felt it too, right? When we played with the kids. That was the football you wanted to play, the kind where you just had fun. Where you played for yourself and the kids- not for your reputation, or your town, or your mother.”

“I guess,” Catra says slowly. She’s shifted her attention to Adora’s hand on her shoulder and is blinking at it sleepily, like she’s wondering if it’s really there or just a dream. “But it’s different in a setting like this. There’s so much pressure. I can’t just pretend like we’re playing on the street again when any game could be my last.”

“Okay,” Adora agrees. She still hasn’t removed her hand. “That’s a valid point. So maybe my revelation wasn’t entirely from the kids and was actually partly to do with liberating myself from the closet… Hard to become a bigger disappointment to my mother by losing than I already am.”

Catra laughs unexpectedly and Adora doesn’t realise she’s smiling at the (quite frankly) adorable way Catra scrunches up her eyes until it’s too late.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Catra says, and her voice is slightly breathless. “Has anyone ever told you you suck at giving encouragement? You’re surprisingly dark.”

“Actually, yes. But I’ll have you know, I gave a super inspirational pep talk yesterday and my team was very impressed. Also, we won and I’m taking full credit.”

“Of course you are. Hey, maybe this talk will make my team win, too.”

Catra’s voice is laced with something that could easily be either fondness or sleep. Regardless, it’s doing something to Adora’s insides that’s making her feel all warm and fuzzy. She finally removes her hand from Catra’s shoulder before the feeling grows too much and folds her arms on the table, letting her head drop into them.

“Listen, I’ll only say this once because I’m tired and confident that we will destroy you tomorrow.” And because you looked sad before and I want to keep that smile on your face a little longer. “If the Horde did win tomorrow, it would be because of you. You’re strong, and you make your team strong, and it’s not just your skills and hard work that does that. It’s your personality and your drive and your leadership. It’s you, Catra. I think you’ve proven that any achievement you make here is your own and not your whack-ass mum’s. If anyone deserves to captain that team, it’s you.”

“Oh.” Catra’s mouth opens slightly, like she’s lost for words. “That, um… thank you.” They share a quiet moment of awkward eye contact and blushing cheeks, and then something in Catra seems to close off, hardening right before Adora’s eyes. She looks down at her lap and her voice regains some of its usual snark. “I guess it was your turn to give the emotional pep talk. We’re finally even again.”

“I didn’t say all that to make us even.”

Catra glances up sharply and Adora offers her a nervous smile. Their last proper conversation when Catra had left her house not even a week ago has not been forgotten by Adora. She remembers with embarrassed guilt the way she had tried to commodify Catra’s support and remove all unwanted feelings from the situation. In hindsight, it had been an asshole move.

“I see,” Catra says slowly. A tiny smile plays at the corner of her mouth.

“I said all that because I kind of consider you to be my friend, in a weird, arch-nemesis kind of way. A frenemy, if you will.”

Catra laughs again and reaches across the table to ruffle Adora’s hair affectionately.

“Go to bed, Adora.”

“Only if you do, frenemy” Adora yawns. She’s very comfortable where she’s sitting and the dining hall is pleasantly warm. She buries her head deeper into her arms with a contented hum.

“Princess…” Catra sighs despairingly and stands up. She rounds the table and puts her hands under Adora’s arms, lifting her to her feet, clumsily. “Come on, work with me here.”

“Nooo, comfy!”

Catra huffs and pulls Adora’s arm around her shoulders, taking the majority of her weight. If Adora had been sleepy just a moment ago, she’s wide awake now. They’re so close, closer than they’ve been since that party right back at the beginning of the year. Catra’s arm is strong around Adora’s waist and their bodies are pressed tight. If Adora were to turn her head, she’s certain her lips would brush Catra’s cheek…

The thought makes blood rush to her face, her heart working double time to ensure her cheeks the rosiest colour possible. She quickly looks away so that Catra won’t be able to see.

“I can walk,” she mumbles, resolutely staring in the opposite direction of the girl pressed against her side.

“Good for you.”

Catra’s hand grips tighter around Adora’s waist. She gently but firmly guides Adora towards the exit, and, wrapped around Catra as she is, she has no choice but to follow. She’s weak from sleep deprivation and Catra’s fingers on her arm and torso, and every particle of her body is begging her to just give in and curl herself into Catra and her unbearably soft dressing gown. No Adora. Bad.

They stop in the doorway and in her prolonged moment of weakness, Adora turns her head to try sneak a quick glance at the other girl. Catra is openly staring at her and the moment their eyes meet, Adora is unable to look away. So much for a ‘quick glance’. In the dim light, Adora can just make out the two contrasting shades of Catra’s eyes. Catra, on her part, seems just as unable to look away and for a moment they stand perfectly still.

“Hi,” Catra murmurs.

“Hi…”

Through her pajamas, Adora feels Catra’s thumb brush over her hip bone. The sensation sends a violent shiver racing down her spine and for a moment she forgets how to breathe.

“Trying to seduce me into losing?” she asks, and her voice comes out much lower and huskier than she had intended.

Catra’s eyes widen a little bit, then narrow as her face folds into a smirk. Her thumb strokes her hip again, this time with more intent and god Adora is weak.  “Maybe I’m just hungry for forbidden fruit. Or maybe…”

Catra’s arms unwind from Adora, leaving her cold and needy and desperately relieved at the same time. But then her hands return, this time placed gently on either side of her face. Adora splutters out a flustered ‘what’ but before she can finish Catra’s pulling her head down. For a wild moment Adora thinks Catra’s going to kiss her, right there in the dining hall, but then Catra’s lips press against Adora’s forehead in a gesture so tender it breaks her heart a little.

“Maybe I’m sending you to bed.” Catra releases her for real this time, stepping back with a small smile. “Goodnight, Princess.”

Adora almost laughs. Then she does laugh, the sound bubbling out of her involuntarily as she steps back herself, the lingering sensation of the kiss still tingling on her forehead. “Goodnight, Horde Scum.”

They each turn and start to head towards their respective dorms, but Adora barely makes it a few steps before she’s spinning around and calling out to Catra’s retreating back. “Hey! You’re going to kill it out there tomorrow!”

Catra doesn’t stop, but she does lift a hand in acknowledgement. Adora goes to bed smiling, and she’s not sure why, but something tells her that Catra does too.

_____________________

The next morning, Adora puts on her uniform for the last time. She lets her hands drift over her shirt, flattening out the creases of the gold and white fabric, delays over her shoelaces when she pulls on her boots, and takes her time pulling the loops tight around her fingers. When at last she straightens up, Bow is there, standing tall in his own uniform, hands clenched nervously at his sides.

“Ready, Captain?”

“Give me a few more hours sleep and we’ll see.”

Once again, the team goes to breakfast together. It’s an early game so they’re some of the first up, and the kitchen staff give them dirty looks as they traipse across the floor in their football boots. Adora makes sure everyone’s served themselves plenty of food before sitting down and eating with everyone.

Breakfast is a quick affair and before Adora knows it, they’re back on the field under a cloudy sky, stretching and talking excitedly as the sidelines begin to fill with spectators. On the other side of the pitch, Adora can see the familiar red and black uniforms of the Horde, warming up similarly. Anticipation wells in her chest and she forces herself to look away and focus on her stretches with Bow.

Five minutes before the game is due to start, Coach gathers them all up into a team huddle to talk strategy. Everyone’s unusually focused, following Coach’s words keenly as she scribbles formations on a small whiteboard and tosses out orders. Too soon, she finishes and it’s time for Adora to say a few words of encouragement.

She waits a few seconds before speaking, taking the time to drink in the familiar view of the white and gold uniforms around her, the faces of her teammates, her family. All of a sudden, she’s overcome by an overwhelming feeling of pride. They’ve come so far, all of them. They’ve fought and trained and grown together, and it’s all lead up to this moment, the team standing together in unfamiliar territory, seconds before their fated match. She’s come a long way too- she’ll have to thank the year 13s for that later. After all, they’ve been together since the beginning, all the way back to when they were kids on the street kicking around a flat football.

“Um…” She’s lost her train of thought completely now. Her team is smiling at her, and she realises none of them are expecting another inspiring speech. Her pre-game talks have never been that good anyway. “Like I said yesterday, guys. Do your best, but remember to love football at the same time. And, uh, make sure to communicate lots, your teammates need to know who’s open when they’re stuck. Oh! And remember that if you face Catra not to panic. She’s quick, but if you’re persistent her stamina isn’t actually that great.”

“That must be pretty disappointing for you, Adora,” Natasha laughs.

“Shut up, Natasha! I’m trying to be inspiring!”

“Well, you’ll have to wrap up your inspiring words there,” Coach interrupts. “It’s game time.”

Even as she speaks, the Horde run out onto the pitch, taking their positions on their half. Panicking slightly, Adora thrusts her hand into the centre of their huddle and everyone else quickly reaches out to pile their own hands on top.

“Okay guys, let’s go out there and win this thing. Princesses on three! One, two, three!”

“Princesses!”

They sprint onto the pitch and Adora heads straight to the centre line. For once in her life she’d actually won the goddamn coin toss, so it’s at her feet that the ball sits before the kick off. Catra stands opposite her, eyeing the ball hungrily. For a moment the two captains make eye contact and Adora can’t help the grin that curls across her face.

“Hey, Adora,” Catra purrs.

The whistle blows.

The game is impossibly close. The Princesses have come a long way since their first match against the Horde, and when once the game had been dominated by their rivals, now the ball is possessed equally by the two teams.

Catra scores the first goal, the ball flying from her foot neatly into the corner of the net, just out of Natasha’s reach. When they take kick off after that though, it’s only a matter of minutes before Adora’s receiving Bow’s corner kick with her head and slamming it past Erica into the back of the goal. She earns a sneer from Catra for that, but there’s no malice in it. In fact, her eyes are practically sparkling with excitement as the whistle blows once more.

Half time comes and goes and this time it’s Francesca who sends the ball sailing into the Horde’s goal. The team rushes to her, piling on top of her as they celebrate their lead and Adora has to be the one to seperate everyone before the ref starts up the game again. Or before the tiny girl gets crushed. The Horde is playing harder now. Adora is covered in mud from head to toe after having slipped for the billionth time after one of Sonia’s tackles. As time ticks on, everyone gets more desperate. No one wants it to be their last game.

It’s in the last five minutes that the biggest surprise of the match occurs. The ball is by the Princesses’ goal, has been for the last while. Adora doesn’t have a good view from where she stands at the half way line, but she still sees clearly enough the ball passing from Catra’s feet to some blonde kid’s, lightning quick. Adora thinks the boy’s name is Kyle. He’s been a substitute for most of the match, only coming on recently, much to the chagrin of most of his teammates. Adora’s not sure if even they had expected the goal that came next. But then the whistle blows, and there’s no denying it. The score is tied.

The game ends before the Princesses can retaliate and Adora feels the world crash around her ears. Normally a draw would be a fine way to settle a game. Not in a knockout competition. The only way to win now is a penalty shoot-out.

They’d prepared for this, but not much. No one had really expected it to happen. In a penalty shoot-out each team sends five players to take a shot each at goal. The team with the highest number of goals wins. The Princesses had chosen Adora, Bow, Sean Hawkins, Francesca, and Ella to be their strikers, should the situation arise. And arisen it has. At the worst possible time.

The five of them line up at the Horde’s goal where Erica is already standing, seemingly unbothered as she leans against the goal post. Adora looks down the line at her teammates, frantically assessing the situation, trying to predict and strategise for a fairly straight-forward disaster. Francesca is standing next to her and Adora is horrified to see that the girl is quivering, staring unblinkingly at the goal as she grinds her teeth.

“Hey,” Adora whispers, giving her foot a small kick. “You good?”

Francesca doesn’t speak, but she does manage a small, jerky nod.

“You’ve already scored one goal today, you have nothing to worry about. And besides, you’re our starting striker. Erica doesn’t stand a chance against you.”

Francesca finally tears her eyes away from the goal to look up at Adora, and Adora can sympathise all too well with the fear in her expression. Despite that, she offers her a small smile to try back up her words. Francesca just rolls her eyes at her and looks away again, but Adora is pleased to note that she looks marginally less nervous than before.

The Horde are given the first shot, and Catra steps forward to take it. Adora is instantly torn between wanting her to miss, and wanting Catra to do well after their talk last night. She doesn’t have to feel conflicted for very long, however. Almost as soon as the whistle blows, the ball is bouncing off the back of the net. Adora almost cheers at the beautiful goal before she sees Natasha kick the goalpost in frustration. Oops. Is she a bad friend?

As the captain, Adora takes responsibility for taking their team’s first shot. She can feel her teammates’ and coach’s eyes boring into her back as she lines up the shot. Her heart is beating so hard in her chest that she almost doesn’t hear the whistle blow. A million things race through her mind at once as she’s immediately sent into panic mode- is her angle right? Are her steps too big? Is she putting enough power into her kick? What does Erica think she’s going to do?

The ball hits the net and she’s enveloped by the screams of her teammates.

Unfortunately, things don’t stay good forever. The Horde scores and then Francesca misses her shot. Of course, no one is upset at her, though Adora can tell from the kid’s face that nothing anyone says will make her feel any worse than she already does. She’s already scored a goal for them, she was the reason they were standing up here in the first place. Adora pulls her into a quick hug of gratitude and Francesca kicks her hard in the shin.

The Horde miss their next shot as well, and for a moment it seems like everything might be okay. Bow gets his one in. So does the Horde. But then Sean Hawkins misses, and not even Ella’s incredible spin ball can save them from that.

The Princesses finish their last ever match with their heads held high. The score goes 6-5 to the Horde.

They don’t leave the field immediately after that. Adora suddenly wishes that she’d never have to leave the field again. Coach gives them one last speech, telling them all how well they’d done, and then suddenly she’s taking out a big box and opening it.

“I wanted to thank you all for working so hard this year. You can all go home after this feeling proud of yourselves and the fight you gave the Horde today. You can also go home with these, but I figured you’d want to eat them now.”

In the box is an obscene amount of doughnuts. The good shit too, not like the kind you’d get from the supermarket. Adora almost tears up.

“Hold on!”

The team had started to swarm towards the open box, which Adora swears is as tempting as Pandora’ box itself, when Bow threw out his arm to stop them.

“Before we eat this delicious-looking gift from the gods, I’d like, on behalf of the team, to thank the goddess who brought them to us.” He lowers his arm and smiles up at coach Hunter, who snorts fondly. “We wouldn’t be here without you coach.”

The team cheers, expressing their agreement as loudly as they can. Then they descend on the box again.

“And!” Bow shouts, this time extending both arms and throwing himself bodily in front of the doughnuts like some kind of action film martyr. “We’d also like to thank our captain. She’s the best one we’ve ever had! This year was tough, but she pulled us through it and we got all the way to the god damn quarter finals.”

The team cheers louder this time. From the back of the huddle, Adora hears Natasha yell, “Yes, we love Adora! Now someone give me my freaking doughnut or I’m going to murder someone!”

They dissolve into laughter and at last are allowed access to the box. Adora gets her’s and she almost cries as she bites into the powdery goodness. Bow nudges her arm, breaking her from whatever trance the food has put her under, and points to a familiar Horde member, making her way over to them.

“Hey, Adora!” Catra calls, and Adora doesn’t hesitate before leaving her team and meeting her ex-rival-captain half way. “That was a really good game.”

“Yeah,” Adora agrees. She’s a little breathless for some reason. “It was. Congratulations, by the way.”

“I hope you’re not too upset about losing?”

Adora shrugs and gestures to her team behind her. “I mean, you guys might have won, but we got doughnuts. So really, who’s the real winner here?”

“I see your point. You don’t fancy sharing, do you?”

Adora makes a show of licking the powdered sugar of her fingers before shooting Catra a devilish smile. She’s quietly pleased to see that Catra’s face has gone pink. “Nope!”

“Right. Uh, good.” Oh man, Catra really is flustered. How has Adora managed to gain the upper hand after losing the quarter finals? Experts do not know. “I’m going back to my tongue. I mean team! Team. Uh, good game.”

Catra turns to go but Adora calls after her, enjoying herself way too much. “You guys better win the finals for us! We’ll be cheering you on when you get gold.”

Catra manages to compose herself enough to smile and blow Adora a kiss. “We promise!”

Adora returns to her team, feeling oddly light, despite her heart being broken in two as her dreams of victory are shattered. She’ll probably cry later. No, she’ll definitely cry later, once she’s back home in the privacy of her bedroom. But for now, she supports her team while they’re all still together, and prepares herself to finally support her rivals, too.

Chapter Text

It’s odd, Adora thinks over her own shouting, how easily she’s able to support a team she’s hated her whole life. Perhaps even stranger that her team is doing the same, standing on the sidelines of the final match of the tournament, shouting their encouragement as the Horde score goal after goal.

At least she has Catra as an excuse, loathe as she is to admit it. And Bow has his friend Erica. But everyone else? She supposes it’s town pride. Their crushing defeat in the semi-finals, if anything, has caused the teams to become more unified. A victory for one is victory for the other.

On the field, Catra scores the Horde’s fourth goal with the flair of a showman. Adora punches her fist into the air and screams so loud her thoughts drown in the sound. There is only the game, and there is only Catra.

“You know, you’re getting weirdly into this,” Mira says from beside her.

Catra catches her eye from the centre line and blows her a kiss, which Adora mimes catching.

“Don’t you hate the Horde?”

The game starts up again and Adora brings her hand down. Her fingers, black and red from the paint she’d smeared on her face, are clenched in a fist. She smiles. If she concentrates hard enough, she can feel Catra’s kiss, pressed against her palm.

“More than anything.”

____________________

The award ceremony, despite only being thirty minutes, goes on forever. MVPs and coaches and captains are stood up and congratulated and handed flimsy bits of paper. When Adora’s name is called the team screams embarrassingly loud, and Adora almost refuses to stand. She buries her head in her phone immediately after to hide her blushing face.

3:46 P.M.

seagull: so proud of our captain

Sean has sent a photo

seagull: look at her go

Vice Gay: nice piece of paper adora

guardian of the net: its the good shit too, real fancy stuff

Vice Gay: only the best for our captain

seagull: you’ve worked hard for this piece of paper adora. you deserve it

Captain Lesbian: I hate ALL of you SO MUCH

A few seats down from her, she hears Sean Hawkins snort and she leans forward to shoot him a glare. He sinks down in his chair guiltily, phone still in hand. Beside her, Bow dissolves into an uncontrollable fit of silent giggles.

“And now, the moment I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for,” a stressed-looking man is saying from the stage. “I’d like to welcome the winners of this year’s tournament to the podium-”

The Princesses are on their feet and cheering before the man even has time to finish his sentence. From their place in the hall, the Horde stand and make their way to the stage. Some of them wave at the princesses as they pass. Sonia even cheers back. This time, Adora doesn’t care about her team being embarrassing. It’s allowed, because she is, too.

The hall slowly fills with applause as the other teams join the cheering. Medals are hung around the necks of every Horde member and then a large trophy is handed to Catra who hoists it above her head, looking perhaps happier than Adora has ever seen her. Pride swells in her chest, so much so that she can’t seem to breath. To think that the sad girl from the night before was standing on stage with a trophy, surrounded by a team that loved her and smiling like her cheeks could split…

It was a happy ending that no one deserved more.

The ceremony ends immediately after that, along with the tournament that has been Adora’s life purpose for almost a year now. Coach Hunter gathers her team impatiently and begins to herd them towards the van outside, ever the impatient shepherd. As Adora exits into the carpark, lagging a little behind her team, she hears a familiar voice shouting behind her. At first she ignores it, thinking she’s hearing things, but then she hears it again, louder this time.

“Adora! Hey, dumbass! Wait up!”

She stops. Turns. There’s another team behind her, but as she watches they stumble and shift as someone shoves her way through them. Catra bursts through the group of high schoolers, trophy under one arm and medal swinging around her neck. There’s a slight flush riding high on her cheeks as she comes to a stop in front of the bemused captain.

“Jesus, you walk fast,” Catra grumbles.

“Catra…” Adora takes in her rival before her and that same pride swells up again. Before she can think to stop herself, she’s reaching out and pulling Catra into a crushing hug, Bow-style. “I watched your last two games. Congratulations. You were incredible.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get off me.” After a bit of struggling, Catra manages to extract herself from Adora’s arms, looking ever so slightly pinker before. She hugs her trophy to her chest and looks away, suddenly incredibly interested in her school’s van. “I wanted to say thank you. For last night. What you said… really helped. I… I couldn’t have played so well without hearing that. So thanks.”

“Hey, no worries. I’m sure you would’ve won anyway, though.”

“Obviously. Wouldn’t have been as fun though.”

They both laugh. Catra goes quiet first, watching Adora intently as her giggling subsides. There’s an embarrassed silence while Adora politely waits for Catra to speak again, and Catra fails to find words where there should’ve been more.

“Well,” Adora says, smiling awkwardly. “If that’s all you wanted to talk about, I should really get going. Coach will murder my ass if I make everyone late.”

“Wait. There was one other thing.”

Adora hesitates, but Catra doesn’t elaborate. After another excruciating moment of awkward silence, Catra reaches out and grabs Adora’s arm with an annoyed grunt.

“For fuck’s sake.” She pulls a pen out of her jacket pocket and scribbles something across Adora’s bare forearm, scowling like it’s the most irritating thing she’s ever put herself through. “For if you get bored on the bus.”

Without another word, Catra drops Adora’s arm and storms away. Curious, Adora looks down at what Catra’s written. It’s a string of numbers. A phone number. Catra’s number.

She allows herself a small, triumphant smile, fingers brushing gently over the ink. When she looks up again she just manages to spot the back of Catra’s leather jacket before the girl vanishes into the van. Even thought she knows Catra won’t see it, she raises a hand and waves goodbye, lingering just a few seconds too long as Coach starts shouting at her again from their own van. Jolted back into action, she rushes to her team and clambers in, finding a seat beside Bow who immediately offers her an earphone which she knows better than to accept.

The low hum of the engine starts up and slowly, the scenery starts to drift past her window. Adora settles into her seat and pulls out her phone. She considers, for a couple of minutes, whether she should wait a few hours before texting Catra. Her fingers tap the number into her contacts and pause over the message button. To hell with it.

Adora: hey :)

It only takes a couple of minutes for Catra to reply.

Catra: Yikes. Bored already?

Catra: Wait, this is Adora right?

Adora: idk did you give your number to any other frenemy rival captains recently?

Catra: You’re such an idiot

Catra: Hey Adora

Adora: hi x

Adora stares down at her own message in mild horror. Was the x too much? Five minutes go by without Catra responding and Adora has to open up a game on her phone to put a halt to her spiralling thoughts. The repetitive patterns help to clear her mind, just a little.

4:16 pm

Catra: Hi

Adora: haha that was delayed. Smth exciting happening on your bus?

Catra: Sonia and Erica are forcing me to play Pictionary

Oh. So not a big deal then. Adora had done nothing to chase Catra away or been weird or embarrassing. She almost audibly sighed with relief.

Adora: aww you guys are cute

Catra: Do not.

Adora: whos winning?

Catra: Me, obviously

Catra: Hi Adora! This is Erica. Catra is actually losing by a great

Catra: hsfl

Catra: a

Adora: hi erica!

Adora: omg… can you not draw?

Catra: I can draw!

Catra: And it’s me again. Erica stole my phone

Adora: omg you cant draw

Adora: thats so cute

Catra: I just said I could!

Catra: god you’re so annoying

Adora: and yet you still text me back :)

This time Adora’s not surprised as the minutes start to slip by with no reply. It’s kind of on her. She switches to texting Glimmer while she waits for Catra to crack.

4:49 pm

Catra: Fucking fine I give in

Adora: knew you would in the end

Adora: you must like me. thats not very frenemy of you

Catra: I do NOT like you.

Catra: Tell me about your ride so I don’t have to keep playing eye spy

Adora: haha ok

Adora: well im sitting next to bow and hes been listening to beyonce for like the whole journey now

Adora: francesca keeps kicking the back of my chair

Adora: hawkins has tried to start about three sing alongs and mira is feeding him gummy worms to keep him quiet

Adora: nothing too eventful yet

Catra: You sound more like a tired babysitter than a captain

Adora: thats exactly what I am. This is free labour I’m being exploited

Catra: Well I cant pay you but maybe I could distract you for a bit?

Adora: youre pretty good at that

Adora: i mean

Adora: uh

Catra: Aww you find me distracting?

Adora: no!

Catra: Whatever you say, Princess. You know all your staring isn’t subtle right?

Jesus Christ. Adora closes her eyes and presses her phone into her face. Groans. Bow taps her shoulder tentatively.

“You good there, Cap?”

“No. I’m so embarrassed I could die.”

“Maybe don’t do that.”

Adora groans again and collapses dramatically into Bow’s side.

“She must think I’m so uncool.”

“Who?” Bow asks innocently.

“Catraaa.”

Bow laughs and ruffles Adora’s hair affectionately. “Then she’s a good judge of character!”

“You’re the worst,” Adora grumbles, sitting up and fixing her hair pouf where Bow had mussed it. “Terrible friend. I’m so cool.”

“Mhm.”

Adora looks down at her phone again. There’s a new message from Catra.

Catra: Don’t worry. I think it’s cute.

“This is the worst,” Adora mutters under her breath.

Adora: you know thats not reassuring, right?

Adora: as captain, I need to keep a close eye on the enemy

Catra: Sure you do.

Adora: thats all that is

Catra: Of course.

Catra: You know a picture would last longer though?

Catra: Downloading image

It only takes a few seconds for the image to download.

“Oh, now that’s just not fair.”

Bow sighs and takes out both of his earphones, nudging his shoulder against her own. “Are you going to tell me what you and Catra are talking about that’s got you so worked up, or am I just going to have to keep hearing your random remarks out of context?”

Wordlessly, Adora shows him her phone.

“Oh, that is such a cute photo.”

It had obviously been taken just before it was sent. Catra was in a van, cup cradled comfortably in her lap and wearing that same leather jacket. She was grinning at the camera, smug as anything. On either side of her were Sonia and Erica, who were both pulling faces. Bow was right, it is a cute photo.

This isn’t fair, Adora thinks angrily as she saves the image to her phone.

It’s not creepy if Catra had sent it to her in the first place, right? Nah, it’s not creepy.

“Can I ask why you’re texting your rival and saving her selfie to your phone?”

“No.”

“Don’t get mad at me for saying this, but you have gotten so much gayer since you came out. I’m kinda living for it.”

This forces a laugh from Adora. She doesn’t tell him why, because there’s no point really. But Bow’s statement is so utterly wrong that Adora almost finds it hysterical. Adora’s always been this gay, she was just scared to express it.

The thing is, Adora has liked girls before. Lots of them.

The first, unsurprisingly, was Glimmer, when they were nine. Adora didn’t have a lot of friends before then, never feeling like she truly fitted in with her classmates or her town. It was hard, when she didn’t even feel like she belonged with her family. After all, there’s no place for a child in a demolition site and her parent’s marriage had just had a wrecking ball put through it.

Glimmer had leant her a glitter pen and really that was all it took when you were nine to make a new friend. Glimmer was pretty and she liked sparkles and always wore little fairy wings on her back. Glimmer would draw hearts on Adora’s hands and arms with that same pen during silent reading time and Adora would refuse to bathe until they’d faded away.

Adora’s feelings grew so big that she didn’t know how to label them, aside from best friend, because what else could they be? What did she have to compare them to? It didn’t occur to her until years later that she’d held her new friend’s hand for something other than ‘best friend’ reasons.

Her second crush was Lonnie, back before Lonnie became a Horde student and Adora chose the Princesses. When there was no rivalry or town division to worry about. They had shared a bed at a sleepover and Adora’s heart had beat so fast she couldn’t sleep. At the time, she thought she must be sick, and had called her mum to pick her up. She couldn’t sleep when she got home, either.

The third was when she was thirteen, at a birthday party with her friends. They were talking about boys and when Puawai had described a crush she’d had and Adora had looked at Mira who had just started wearing eye liner and thought ‘oh’. That day happened to be the day same-sex marriage was legalised in New Zealand and for a few hours Adora felt limitless, happy in a way she couldn’t even comprehend yet. And then she came home to find her mother crying on the couch, with the news playing on the tv. They were not happy tears.

By crush four she knew exactly what her feelings were, and she also knew they were something she could never allow herself. She told Bow and Glimmer because she had to tell someone and out of anyone, they would understand. She never told them about her crushes, though they came and went as frequently as theirs. For a while, it was fine. Adora could bury her feelings and she was fine.

And then…

Catra: Distracting enough for ya?

Adora stares down at the message, hands clammy on the phone and heart beating just a little too fast.

And then there was Catra.

Catra, who was insufferable and infuriating and always just a little better than her. Catra, who play fought with kids and danced with her at the ball and tied her hair while she cried and Catra, who made her want what she had been denied for so long. Had denied herself. Catra, who was so unfair, because of course Adora was going to fall in love with her, how could she not?

Oh.

When had that happened?

“You okay there, Adora?” Bow asks, and his voice sounds a million miles away.

“Yeah,” Adora says. She blinks. “Yeah, just… realised something important.”

She’s not sure why it comes as a surprise that the world doesn’t end. Because surely, that’s the only thing that can happen now. Adora’s never allowed herself a universe where loving Catra was an option. And yet here she is. The earth still turns and Adora’s feelings stay exactly the same as they were twenty seconds ago, as they were five minutes ago, a month. Now she just has a word for them. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Catra’s become more than just another crush to be buried.

Catra: Cat got your tongue?

Adora exhales slowly, and finds that she’s surprisingly calm.

Adora: did you just make a pun with your own name?

Catra: Don’t be an idiot, that’s a common expression

Catra: Was the selfie too much? Sonia wanted to take it

Adora: no the selfie was fine dw

Adora: just took me off guard

Catra: Purrfect

Adora: ok that pun was intentional

Catra: Autocorrect

Adora: your phone wouldn’t correct to that!!!

Catra: It’s a paw-sibilty. Fur real.

Adora: youre clawful

______________________

To her surprise, Adora’s mum is waiting for her when she steps off the bus. For a second, an icy chill runs down Adora’s spine and she steels herself for an even icier car ride home. But instead, tears well up in her mother’s eyes and suddenly she’s rushing towards her, pulling her into a tight hug.

“I heard you got all the way to quarter finals. Adora, I am so proud of you.”

“But…” Adora’s face is pressed into her mother’s shoulder and her voice comes out muffled. This isn’t what she was expecting at all and she doesn’t know what to say except “But we lost to the Horde. Why aren’t you mad?”

“Because I know you fought your hardest. That’s all I can ever ask of you.”

The hug gets impossibly tighter for a moment, and then Adora is released. For a dizzying moment, she’s torn between wanting to wrap herself again in that warm embrace and wanting to get as far away from her mother as possible.

“Come on, let’s go home and call your brother. I’m sure he’ll want to know all about his little sister’s tournament. Oh, and I made dessert as well.”

“But,“ Adora stammers again. She can feel the anger from the last week rising up in her once again but can’t find the words to express it. Instead she stares at the ground,. Her hands curling into fists as she fights down the explosion building within her.

“Adora.” Her mother sighs and gently takes Adora’s hands, forcing her fingers to unfurl. “I don’t want to do this again, please. I’m sorry. Can I have my daughter back now?”

Just like that, the explosion dies. Some residual anger still remains, but not enough to fuel her. Now she just feels drained, empty, the events of the last week hitting her all at once. Her birthday, her loss, her long conversations with Catra that replay in her head over and over.

She nods. Then she swallows down the lump in her throat as her mother hugs her again. She allows her mother to guide her back to the car and when they call her brother it’s like they’re a happy family again. It’s note quite the apology she wanted and it’s not quite forgiveness she was asked for, but it’s a start. 

Chapter Text

The rest of the year passes by all too quick after that. Between applying for universities and studying for exams, Adora has no time to dwell on her new found feelings for her ex-rival/ex-frenemy. In fact, as the months roll by they barely ever see each other besides the odd street football game with the kids, even though they text most days. It’s a good thing, Adora tells herself. It has to be a good thing because soon she’ll be leaving and any feelings she has for Catra will have to be buried one way or another.

Exams are a nightmare, but Adora scrapes the grades she needs to claim the sports scholarship she was awarded. Just like that she’s making plans to move to the capital city where she’ll be studying sport science and playing for the university women’s team. It’s as much exciting as it is devastating. Glimmer gets a huge scholarship to study in Auckland ten hours north of Adora, and Bow gets accepted into his engineering course in the South Island, a full two day trip. With all three of them scattered across the country, their trio is well and truly being split up.

It’s not really goodbye, Adora reasons with herself. They’re all at graduation, and on stage Glimmer is receiving her fourth school award. Their trio has made plans to go on holiday together with Glimmer’s family over Christmas, and after they move out they’re going to video call every week at least. Their friendship is too strong for it to really be goodbye. It’s still sad though. Beside her, Bow bursts into tears.

Summer rolls around and Adora switches out her sports jackets for tank tops. Predictably, a drought hits and the grass on every front lawn turns yellow within a week. Each day is more hot and humid as the last. To earn some quick cash before university, Adora picks up her old summer job as a cashier at the local supermarket. It’s an added bonus that the supermarket has air conditioning. There’s also one other bonus that Adora was not expecting. If you could call it a bonus.

She shows up to work early on her first day, tugging irritably at the collar of her uniform which is sticking to her neck with sweat. She checks in, chats to the supervisor, and then goes to drop off her stuff. There’s only one other person in the break room when she gets there, sitting with her feet up on the table and a coffee in one hand. Honestly, Adora shouldn’t even be surprised at this point. She really shouldn’t.

“Hey, Adora.”

“You’re kidding me, right?”

Catra drops her legs from the table and pushes the chair opposite her out with a foot. Adora, with more reluctance than she actually feels, takes a seat.

“I think you’re the one pulling some kind of prank on me, actually,” Catra says, teasingly. “Shouldn’t you be off enjoying your youth?”

“This is my summer job and you’re my age,” Adora huffs. She’s already a little irritated- she hasn’t missed the fact that Catra has seated herself right in front of the only fan in the room. If anything, Catra should be giving her seat to Adora, since it’s Catra’s fault she’s suddenly feeling about ten degrees hotter. Not to mention how much more sweaty she’s suddenly feeling. Subtly, she wipes her clammy hands on her pants. So much for getting over her feelings. “Since when did you work here, anyway?”

“I’ve literally been here for months. Worked the night shifts after practice.”

“You…” Adora’s brain takes a second to process this startling new information and she stalls. “You worked night shifts? On top of school and football? Catra, when did you even have the time to sleep?”

“Relax, I never slept much anyway,” Catra says with a shrug.

“That’s not healthy…”

“I still gotta pay the bills, Adora. Calm down, I made it through the year just fine. Also, isn’t it about time for your shift to start?”

“Oh, hell.”

Catra’s right, of course, and Adora scrambles upright, nearly tripping over in her haste to get out. She can hear Catra’s laughter echoing behind her as she heads onto the floor and she’s sure that her face is still a little red by the time her first customer drops their items onto the till.

It’s not long before Catra joins her on the next till, smug little smile sitting comfortably on her lips. Adora’s stammering out all her words for the next hour, hyper aware of the girl in front of her. During one particularly bad word mix-up, Catra throws Adora a teasing glance over her shoulder and Adora messes up her speech so bad the customer she’s serving asks if she’s okay.

About an hour in there’s a quiet patch and Catra takes the opportunity to fully turn around and face Adora, leaning her hip against the till.

“Enjoying your first day back?”

“Oh, I’m having the time of my life,” Adora quips. Her feet are already feeling the first dull aches she remembers from her last summer of standing in a supermarket.

“It’s only going to get better from here. Speaking of getting better, you’re a little slow putting customers through, aren’t you? Is that because you’re rusty or do you go at snails pace outside of football as well?”

Adora sputters, not expecting the insult. She points a finger at Catra, full of righteous indignation. “You can’t even see what I’m doing from your till! I’m going way faster than you.”

“Ha! Good joke.”

“I’ll prove it. Just watch.”

The next rush of customers start to arrive at the till and Adora gets to work with a furious determination. She scans items so fast and angrily a few of the customers look alarmed. She forces herself to slow down when bagging so that eggs and the like don’t get crushed, and the restraint only fuels her competitiveness. On the till in front of her, Catra is keeping pace with ease, chatting to customers idly as her hands work deftly.

When at long last Catra stops to take her break, the girl pauses by Adora’s register and says, all too smugly, “I think it’s safe to assume I won that.”

Adora doesn’t even have time to yell an angry reply. Instead, she is left silently fuming while her next customer rages at her about the rising cost of dairy.

It becomes a game, as most things do between them, though what the rules are Adora doesn’t know. Sometimes it’s a competition of speed, sometimes it’s a challenge to see who gets the weirdest purchases. Whatever the rules, Catra always challenges Adora to something at the start of their shift and then later will triumphantly proclaim that she had won said challenge. Even though Catra literally can’t see what Adora’s doing from her station. Adora finds it as frustrating as she does endearing.

On the days they’re not working together, Catra will text Adora little updates on her shift. Things like stories of crazy customers or complaints about their coworkers. It almost makes Adora wish she were at work with her. Almost. Even with her inconvenient and badly timed feelings for Catra, she’s unwilling to give up her precious and limited days off with Bow and Glimmer.

One particular Saturday, Catra and Adora happen to work a nine hour shift together. By the time it ends Adora’s whole body feels numb and it’s starting to get dark outside, despite the long summer days. The two girls stumble into the break room as soon as the shift finishes, completely exhausted.

“My feet hurt so much,” Catra whines. She flops down onto one of the chairs and groans. “Football didn’t prepare me for this.”

Adora shifts from one foot to another in a weak attempt to ease the pain. She can’t seem to muster the strength to commiserate with Catra’s complaints. For a minute, the both of them pack up in silence, unsubtly delaying their departure by checking their phones and rechecking their bags have all their things.

“Hey,” Catra says suddenly.

“Hey, what?”

“What are you doing tonight?”

Adora’s stomach does something funny, but she forces the feeling down quickly, reminding herself not to get her hopes up. It’s an innocent enough question. Taking a deep breath, she schools her face into something resembling ‘casual’ and turns to face Catra. “Nothing, why?”

“I thought maybe we could hang out? I’ve got some face masks and a really good foot lotion. Maybe we could chill and watch a movie or something.”

“You want to hang out?”

“Forget it, it was a dumb idea.”

Catra turns back to her things but that squirming feeling is back inside Adora’s stomach and she shoves her shoulder into Catra’s before she can chicken out.

“I’d love to. Shall we?”

The pleased look that shyly flits across Catra’s face is something Adora wishes she could capture in a photo and look at forever.

The walk home is quiet and slow, both of them nursing aching feet. Catra walks close enough to Adora that sometimes their shoulders bump. Each time it sends a pleased thrill shooting down Adora’s spine.

Once again Adora finds herself in Catra’s tiny house, which is no more decorated than the last time she was there, besides a new photo pinned to the fridge. Adora wanders over while Catra frantically shoves piles of dishes into the sink and unsubtly shoves laundry and mess into the darker corners of the room. The photo is of the Horde. Catra stands confidently in the centre with her team gathered tight around her. They’re all gesturing dramatically towards the trophy nestled comfortably in Catra’s arms with large grins on their faces.

“Okay, I’ve got face masks and wine.”

“The essentials,” Adora agrees, forcing herself to look away from the photo.

Catra jerks her head towards the hallway, gesturing for Adora to follow. She’s got a bottle of wine clutched in one hand and the face masks in the other. Adora tags along behind her, intrigued as to how the night is going to go.

They end up in Catra’s bedroom, which is by far the nicest room in the house. It’s small, yes, with barely enough room for a bed and desk, and there’s patches of mould on the ceiling that Adora pretends not to see. However it’s clear Catra put some effort into making the place comfortable. There’s posters and print outs on the walls, mostly of bands and activist organisations, as well as a few photos and certificates from what looks like school awards and scholarships. There’s fairy lights strung up behind the bed which is a mess of blankets and cushions. Most prominent though is the trophy cup from finals which sits proudly on the desk.

“Nice place you got here,” Adora comments.

Catra huffs and flops down on the bed. “Dork. So do you want the honey and aloe vera face mask or the blueberry and calamine?”

“Hit me with the blueberry.”

Catra does, and Adora barely catches it before it puts a dent in her face. She sighs fondly and sits next to Catra on the bed, keeping a careful two feet between them. The face mask is applied while Catra brings up a playlist of soft music and puts the volume on low. Adora thinks she recognises King Princess and smirks.

“Geez, you look so uptight,” Catra remarks. She reaches over to pull on the back of Adora’s shirt. “Lie down with me. This is relax time.”

“I’ve never relaxed once in my life,” Adora says seriously. She lies down anyway.

Catra laughs and shuffles a few conspicuous inches closer. “Now that I believe. Maybe this will help?”

The bottle of wine is dangled between the two of them and for a moment Adora’s annoyed that it obstructs her view of Catra, who is somehow managing to make a facemark look cute. The contents of the bottle slosh invitingly. Red so dark it’s almost black. Adora wets her lips with her tongue nervously and wonders what it would be like to lower her inhibitions around Catra, just for a night. It’s one temptation leading to another, but Adora has never been in the habit of taking what she wants.

“You don’t want any?” Catra asks, and her usually confident voices comes out uncertain.

Adora swallows once, then grabs the bottle. She has to sit up again to unscrew the cap and push the rim to her lips, letting the bitter taste flood her mouth. She winces as she brings it back down, passing the bottle to Catra, who’s laughing at her quietly.

“I admit, I bought the bottle fort the alcohol content, not its quality,” Catra confides, before bringing the bottle up to her own mouth and taking a generous swig.

“Yeah, no kidding.”

Adora leans back a little and nestles herself into the cushions, making herself comfortable in Catra’s space. It’s a warm night, and the soft lighting and music makes her feel tired in a kinder way than exhaustion. She forces herself to keep her eyes open however, watching Catra’s profile carefully as she swallows and lowers the bottle.

“I need to get home early tonight, I’m working tomorrow,” Adora tells her, but the words feel oddly disconnected. Catra smiles at her and takes another sip.

“Whatever you say, Princess.”

Adora laughs, tugging the bottle from Catra’s unprotesting hands. “Geez, will you stop calling me that already? I don’t even go to that school anymore.”

“You don’t like it?”

“Well… I didn’t say that.”

Catra grins, a little feral, and reaches out to poke Adora’s cheek. “Okay, Princess, I’ll get you home by midnight. Don’t worry your pretty head about it.”

“You messed up my face mask!” Adora whines, ignoring the flutter she’d felt in her stomach at the word ‘pretty’. 

“Take it off then!” Catra peels off her own pointedly, then reaches for Adora’s.

“Hey!”

They tussle gently for a moment before Catra triumphantly withdraws with Adora’s mask and tosses it into the bin. Adora, having thrown herself forward to try and grab it out of her hand, now finds herself face to face with Catra, bodies so close they’re almost pressed together. Without the face mask, Adora can now see the faint smattering of freckles across Catra’s cheeks. She freezes.

“Um,” Catra mumbles. She clears her throat. “Adora?”

God, Adora wants to trace her fingers along those freckles so bad.

“Adora?”

Shit.

“More wine!” Adora yells, throwing herself backwards and away from Catra. She winces at her own voice, which had come way louder than she’d intended.

Catra's face scrunches a little, like she’s trying to work Adora out, but then she shrugs and reaches for another drink. “More wine.”

It turns out, after much needling from Adora, that Catra has two bottles of wine. They slowly grow more relaxed around each other, drinking and gently teasing, testing the waters of this new friendship. Their old rivalry is still there, but its like an ugly wallpaper they’ve painted over in fresh colours. Bits of it poke through, but it’s muted. None of their old malice remains. It’s beyond wonderful, to finally be friends with Catra, though Adora can’t help but feel off.

She watches Catra, who’s telling some tale about her team and gesticulating wildly with her hands, a laugh on the edge of here smile. She thinks, You can’t have this.

She’s leaving in just a few weeks, she was too late. You can’t have this. You can’t have this. You can’t have this.

She drinks a little more.

It’s a warm night, but Adora feels cold. She pulls the blankets closer around her but it doesn’t help. Not even the wine is helping. There’s a warmth she’s craving, but her mind, hazy as it is, can’t even begin to work out its source. She’s just cold.

“Hey,” Catra is saying. She’s holding her trophy cup in her lap, a terrifying smile on her face. “Wanna see me do something stupid?”

She lifts their current bottle above the cup and tilts it threateningly. Adora’s hands shoot upwards in the direction of her mouth, shocked.

“Oh my god. Catra, no, you can’t!”

Catra doesn’t reply, just shoots Adora a feral grin made fuzzy by alcohol and tips a generous serving of wine into the trophy cup. Adora watches with horror and a tiny bit of glee as the cup reflects blood red, the dark liquid sloshing against the sides and up to the rim as Catra lifts it up with an unsteady hand.

“Want some?”

Adora nods but forgets to reach for the cup. This proves not to be a problem because a second later Catra is leaning in close, raising the cup to Adora’s mouth. Adora can feel the cold metal of it against her lips and wishes they were touching something warmer.

“Open up,” Catra murmurs, her voice low.

Adora does and Catra slowly tips the cup, frowning in concentration as the wine hits Adora’s tongue. She can feel it in her mouth, silky and bitter and a little warm, but still not warm enough. Still not the feeling she’s after. There are cold chills going down her spine with every swallow. Catra draws back and Adore licks the last of the wine off her lips and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

“My turn,” she says, trying to take the cup from Catra’s hands.

“No. My cup,” Catra pouts. She brings the cup up to her own mouth and downs the rest of its contents. Adora would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little disappointed. Maybe a lot disappointed.

Catra hiccups and starts giggling and Adora would feel shocked if she didn’t feel so dizzy. She’s not sure if she’s heard Catra giggle before.

“What’s so funny?” She demands, reaching out to poke a finger against Catra’s forehead.

“I’m really drunk.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

Adora starts giggling too. Maybe because Catra is. Maybe because she’s really drunk as well. When they both stop she feels giddy, chest aching and face flushed. She smiles at Catra. Her fingers reach up and press against Catra’s lips. Maybe because she didn’t get to hold the cup earlier. Maybe because she’s really drunk. Ah, there’s that warmth she’s been looking for.

“Adora?” Catra mumbles. Adora can feel her name against her fingers and she shivers.

“You’re really pretty,” she tells Catra, still not moving her hand. “I wish I didn’t have to leave you.”

Catra reaches up and drags Adora’s hand away from her face, leaning back slightly with a frown. “What d’you mean? Aren’t you going to the capital next year?”

“Yeah,” Adora mumbles. She looks down at where Catra is holding her wrist. “That’s what I mean. I’ll be gone.”

“Adora, you’re such an idiot. You know I’m going there too, right? We won the same scholarship and everything.”

“Huh?”

Catra starts giggling again and her hand slips from Adora’s wrist to entwine their fingers together. “Did you seriously not know?” She laughs harder and her head falls forward onto Adora’s shoulder. A moment later and she’s tucked her face into Adora’s neck. “You’re such an idiot,” Catra repeats fondly. Adora wonders if she can feel the heat of her blush.

Somehow, Adora’s other hand finds its way into Catra’s hair. She cards through it, slowly and intentionally, revelling in how silky it is and how soft it feels against her fingers. Catra hums contentedly into Adora’s neck and heat shoots up her body to her face so fast she’s surprised she doesn’t combust right there.

“Are, are you, um,” Adora stammers, “Are you playing football down there, too?

Catra laughs, like Adora had said something stupid. “No way. Look, your little pep talk at finals really helped me but that doesn’t mean my relationship to football isn’t toxic still. I’m putting that game behind me.”

“Oh?” Adora asks quietly, trying so very hard not to feel disappointed.

“Yeah.” Catra yawns. “I thought I’d try my hand at psychology… maybe learn how to help kids who’re in similar situations to me. I’ll probably be shit at it though, blind leading the blind or whatever.”

Adora wraps her free arm around Catra’s back and holds her tight, hoping that her hug will somehow express to Catra just how fucking proud she is of her. Because she is, she’s so proud it almost hurts, the feeling too big in her chest to fit both that and her love. And she can’t put it into words right now, but she needs Catra to know that she knows how far she’s come in the last few years, and she knows how hard she fought, and she admires Catra so damn much for still finding the strength to want to help others.

“I think you’re going to be really good at it,” Adora tells her, because that’s all she can think to say.

“Whatever,” Catra mutters, but Adora can feel the smile pressed against her neck.

Adora doesn’t feel any need to talk after that. She sits there peacefully while Catra hums along to the song currently playing, every note perfectly in tune. She doesn’t even notice when she starts to doze off.

“Princess?” She hears the voice as if underwater, but makes no effort to respond. “Oh hell, I was supposed to get you home two hours ago. Fucking shit.”

“S’okay,” Adora mumbles. At some point she’d lain down on the bed, but she doesn’t remember when. “I’ll go now.”

“No you won’t, Jesus. I doubt you can even walk.” Catra sighs. “You can sleep here tonight, let me get you some water.”

Adora tries to sit up to protest, but the room instantly starts spinning and she flops back down with a groan. Catra’s back at her side again, this time with a bottle of water and some pain killers, which she sets down on the desk.

“You’re too nice to me,” Adora moans.

“Just shut up and go to sleep,” Catra says roughly, probably trying to sound mean but completely proving Adora’s point by pulling the blankets up and over the girl and tucking her in tenderly.

“Wait!” Adora snakes her hand out from under the blankets and grabs Catra’s wrist, just as she was turning to leave. “Do you want to spend Christmas with me?”

Catra sways a little, looking taken aback. “What?”

“You’ll be alone at Christmas, right? You should come spend it with me. And my mum, and Glimmer and Bow and Glimmer’s family. It’s uh, it’s like this big thing. We’re going to the beach.”

“You’re so weird, why are you suddenly asking me? Geez!”

Adora pouts. “If you don’t want to come, just say so.”

“No! I- ” Catra cuts herself off and stares down at the floor, suddenly shy. “I want to. Just ask me again when you’re sober, okay?”

“Mhm!”

Content with that answer, Adora allows herself to lie back and return into that sinking, underwater feeling. Just before she falls asleep she thinks she hears Catra say, “You’re the one who’s too nice to me.”

She’s too tired to correct her. 

Chapter Text

Christmas is spent in Glimmer’s beach house that year. Glimmer and Adora’s families had already been there for a couple of days while they finished their summer jobs, so two days before Christmas, it’s Bow’s car they all pile into. Glimmer takes shotgun while Adora and Catra cram into the back. They’re loud and excited, all four of them relieved to finally have a break from work. Before they start driving, Bow takes the time to connect his phone to the aux and select a playlist. It’s Christmas music. Bow had been working retail all summer, so how he could even stand the stuff Adora had no idea. They lasted about three songs before Catra finally cracked.

“Your music taste is seriously triggering my gag reflex right now.”

Glimmer and Bow both laugh at Catra’s obvious distress.

“Come on, Catra. It’s Christmas!” Glimmer twists in her seat to treat Catra to her best pouty face, the one she uses on Adora when she needs to copy homework. “You can’t not listen to Christmas music on Christmas.”

“First of all, it’s not Christmas yet. And second, it’s summer. We are listening to a song called Winter Wonderland.”

“It’s not that bad,” Adora says. The chorus hits and she hums along for a moment, smiling as Catra glares. “It’s kinda catchy.”

“I’m just saying,” Catra grumbles. She crosses her arms defensively and turns to look out the window. Adora watches her, for some reason unable to look away from the junction between her jawline and neck. As if sensing this, Catra's eyes briefly flick back to meet hers and she frowns. “This is stupid.”

Glimmer sighs and scrolls through her playlist. 

“Fine. How about Frosty the Snowman?”

“Frosty the Snowman goes hard,” Bow agrees.

“It sure is a banger.”

“I hate you all,” growls Catra.

Glimmer plays it anyway and Bow sings along loudly, occasionally interspersing the lyrics to say things like 'this is such a banger’ and 'Frosty slaps’.

Finally enough of these things have been said that Adora is compelled to ask the difference between 'banger’ and 'slaps’ which sparks a car-wide argument that even Catra joins in on. Without taking his eyes off the road, Bow yells at Glimmer until she plays Every Time We Touch which he claims ticks the boxes of all musical categories. ‘But is it a jam?’ Glimmer asks and Adora groans as the argument lifts off again.

They find a paper napkin under one of the seats and Glimmer draws a venn diagram of five linking circles labelled as 'banger’, 'slaps’, 'goes hard’, 'jam’, and 'screams gay rights’ respectively. Bow pulls over, grabs the napkin, and writes Frosty the Snowman dead centre. Catra tears it to shreds.

They resume the road trip and despite Catra’s protests, Bow plays his terrible Christmas music for the next hour. It’s not until the second half of their drive as they’re speeding down endless farmland that Glimmer has mercy on them and switches to some soft Lo-fi. They quiet down after that, content to stare out the windows and get lost in their own thoughts. However this is difficult when so many of Adora’s thoughts involve the girl sitting next to her.

She hadn’t forgotten their conversation the other night, despite the large amounts of wine she had insisted on drinking. That’s why Catra was here after all. Adora had re-invited her friend on holiday almost as soon as she had woken up the next day. Bow and Glimmer had been fine with it, of course. Bow had even admitted to liking Catra a few days before, and Glimmer claimed she was just happy Adora was capable of making other friends. Which, first of all, rude, but also was a relief as Glimmer had a tendency to get jealous sometimes.

However, as strange as it was to have their best friend squad turned into a best friend quad, that wasn’t what Adora’s thoughts kept circling back to. No, instead Adora’s mind was entirely focused on a new revelation that had begun to dawn on her that one night.

There was nothing keeping her and Catra apart now. All the factors holding her back had been removed, one by one. They were going to the same university. Adora was out and proud. They weren’t even rivals any more. Now, only the question remained if Catra felt the same way about Adora as she did about her. And Adora was beginning to realise that she felt so many things about this girl. The possibility of Catra returning even a fraction of it all seemed… impossible. Unthinkable.

“Stop thinking.”

Adora blinks, confused. Catra had turned to look at her, blue and gold eyes narrowed. She looks annoyed but her tone is soft, low enough that Bow and Glimmer wouldn’t be able to make out what she’s saying. For a crazy moment, Adora wonders if Catra had read her mind.

“I… can’t?”

“You look all sad and moody, I know there’s something dumb on your mind.” Catra reaches out and presses a thumb right between Adora’s eyebrows, forcefully smoothing out the frown lines there. “We’re on holiday, so stop thinking about it.”

Adora wraps her hand around Catra’s wrist, but doesn’t pull her thumb away. “Distract me then.”

God, why does she say stuff like this? Perhaps at some point whilst working those endless hours of customer service her brain-to-mouth filter melted. That had to be the only logical explanation, because Adora would never say something so horribly clichéd in her normal state of mind.

“What are you to up to back there?” Glimmer asks loudly from the front, and Catra and Adora fly apart instantly.

“None of your business,” Catra retorts at the same time as Adora shouts, “I Spy!”

They both glare at each other.

“Ooh, I love I Spy!” Bow says excitedly.

Which is how they got roped into playing I Spy for the last half hour of the journey until finally, at long last, they arrived at the beach.

Glimmer’s beach house is definitely too tiny to fit two families, plus Bow and Catra. Her parents had inherited it from her grandfather, who’d built it in the sixties when beach houses were no bigger than boat sheds. It’s old, stained with sea salt, and its blue paint has faded considerably.

“You’re kidding me,” whines Catra. “Every other house on this street is a freaking lifestyle block. How come we get the shed?”

“I think it has character,” Adora says. There's enough open space in this area to have a makeshift football game. She wonders if she could convince Catra to play with her after their car journey.

Bow pulls into the drive and Glimmer's brothers come rushing outside to meet them. There's a certain excited energy around them that kids get right before Christmas. It's a very loud energy.

They all clamber out of the car and Glimmer yells at her brothers until they leave. The air smells salty and fresh. Adora breathes in deeply, letting her eyes fall shut for a moment as sunshine envelops her. 

“I'll give you all a tour,” Glimmer says brightly. Adora's eyes snap back open. “There's not much to show but-”

“Tour time!” Bow throws an arm over Glimmer's shoulder and smiles his thousand-kilowatt smile. “Lead the way, babe.”

The house only has three rooms, with two bedrooms and a kitchen. Adora’s mum and Glimmer’s parents and aunt are already seated around the small table drinking beers. They get up to hug the four teens in turn, then inform them that all the beds are taken already and it's so cramped that there's no floor space. It turns out the teens are sleeping in a tent in the back garden. This may be the best news Adora has heard all day.

“That is so cool,” Adora gushes. “We should live in a tent all the time.”

“Uh, Glimmer,” Catra interrupts. She looks bothered by something, but this place is literally perfect so Adora can't imagine what. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“Oh, there's an outhouse out back.”

This is definitely not the best news Adora had heard all day. Her mind is rapidly changing about the joys of camping.

“But what about showering?” Catra asks a little desperately.

“The ocean is your shower now.”

“Nice!” cheers Bow. He seems to be the only one excited by this prospect.

“Why don’t you kids go unpack? Then you can go cool off at the beach after your long drive,” Angela suggests.

The sun is now high in the sky and the temperature’s started to reach the point of uncomfortably hot, not to mention all four of them are sweaty from sitting in the car, so this is met with enthusiastic agreement. The four of them race back to the car and start to unload their bags. It doesn’t take long to set up in the tent out the back, and when they’re done they split off to find places to change into swimwear. Adora and Catra take the rooms in the house, now vacated by the adults who’ve gone ahead to the beach.

It doesn’t take long for Adora to change into the red one-piece she’d brought for the trip, so she goes to wait outside Catra’s room.

“Hey Catra, you decent?” Adora calls through the door.

“One sec!”

The door swings open and Adora stumbles back as Catra emerges.

Oh.

Adora isn't sure what she'd expected, but really she should've seen the bikini coming. What, did she think Catra would be going to the beach in her usual outfit of ripped jeans and leather jackets? It’s not unusual to wear bikinis to the beach, so why, why didn't she think to emotionally prepare herself for this moment?

Catra looks so damn good. Like sunshine at dusk, her skin lightly sun kissed but oh so smooth. She looks like a pipe dream. Adora wants to paint her and write epic love poetry and jesus she needs to pull herself together she has been staring for way too long.

“How do I look?” Catra asks. She turns so that her back is to Adora and twists so that not only is Adora forced to look at her toned back but she can also see her eyes and their goddamn heterochromia.

“Uh,” Adora croaks. Like a Goddess. “Nice.”

“You really know how to make a girl feel special, don't you?”

At this point Adora's mouth gives up on waiting for her brain to reboot and takes action on its own.

“Can I take a picture of you? I need to show Santa what I want for Christmas.”

“Somehow that's worse.”

“Call me Rudolph, because you just sleighed me!”

Catra leaves. Still functioning on autopilot, Adora runs after her shouting “Hey, angel! Get back on top of the tree!”

Catra slams the front door behind her and Adora yanks it open again, stumbling outside. For a moment she's blinded by the sun which is why she's caught off guard when Catra jumps her.

They play wrestle for a bit, bare skin against bare skin. Even as Adora tries to throw Catra off her back she can't help but notice that Catra is pleasantly warm against her. The contact is too distracting. Adora loses focus for a second and Catra succeeds in pushing her down onto the deck. 

She lies across Adora's back to pin her down and Adora can feel her breath against her neck as she leans forward to whisper in her ear, “so, what'll it be- naughty or nice?”

Someone clears their throat. It’s Bow, standing over them looking a little flustered. Adora suddenly becomes hyper aware of their position and wow, this must look really bad. Catra rolls off Adora and they both sit up. She looks as calm as usual, if a little ruffled. Adora, however, can feel her face going the same shade of red as her swimwear. One of her straps has slipped off her shoulder and she tugs it back up self consciously.

“‘Sup, Bow?” she asks, striving for nonchalance.

“The sun,” Bow replies, and Adora can hear the slight strain in his tone. “The sun is up. Sun safety.” He tosses a tube of sunscreen at Catra and she catches it, looking amused. “Adora, can I talk to you for a moment?”

Curious, Adora follows Bow around the back of the house. As soon as they’re a safe distance from Catra, Bow rounds on her.

“What was that?”

“What was what?” Adora asks, playing dumb. Maybe if she acts like it didn’t happen this whole thing will go away.

It doesn’t work. 

“You! Catra!” Bow waves his arms frantically, pointing at Adora and then the direction where Catra is. “That thing you’ve had with her for the last few weeks!”

“Wait, thing?” Maybe the ignorance angle wasn’t going so well, but Adora had no other cards up her sleeve and she was too embarrassed after being interrupted in a position like that to function properly so she just kept rolling with it. “What thing?”

Bow ignores her. “You know, when I said you needed to get over your rivalry, this is not what I meant.”

“Listen,” Adora tries. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. What you walked in on right now was not what it looked like. There is no thing.”

“Don’t pretend with me, Adora. You like her, don’t you?”

Adora opens her mouth to retort, to keep denying Bow until he finally gave up, but no words come out. She gapes at him soundlessly, like a fish. Slowly, Bow brings his hands up to cover his face.

“Oh my god. Oh my god, you useless fucking lesbian.”

Too late, her voice comes back to her and she meekly asks, “Is it obvious?”

“Adora, babe, she was literally lying on top of you in swimwear. If that wasn’t a giveaway, your blush certainly was.”

“Ughhh, curse my pale face!”

Bow laughs and pinches one of Adora’s red cheeks affectionately. “It’s such a cute face though!” His hand drops down to her shoulder and his expression and voice turns serious. “So are you going to ask her out?”

And there is the money question, isn’t it?

Catra is waiting for her when she rounds the front of the house, sitting at the edge of the deck and armed with Bow's sunscreen. There’s so much bare skin. Adora doesn’t know where to look.

“Hey Adora,” she purrs and Adora feels her heart flutter. “Do my back for me?” 

“Uh, yeah. Okay. Sure. Cool.”

Adora takes the sunscreen from Catra's hand. What she really should be taking is a phone so she can call an ambulance. She's so fucked.

Catra turns to face away from her, exposing her back. It’s smooth and toned, completely bare under the string of her bikini. Adora sits down behind her and tries not to scream. Catra's gathered up her hair and is holding it over one shoulder and Adora can't stop staring at the nape of her neck. Maybe Bow was right about the ‘obvious’ thing.

“I may not be white but I can still get skin cancer, princess. You gonna put that on any time soon?”

Adora gulps and squeezes a generous glob into the palm of her hand. She has to close her eyes as she smears it across Catra’s back to prevent heart failure. Her skin is sun-warmed and soft. Adora can feel her muscles beneath her fingertips. She wants to let her hands explore more, wants to touch Catra without the guise of sunscreen. The need is hot under her skin. If she rubs the lotion into Catra's back for a bit longer than necessary the other thankfully doesn't comment on it. 

Eventually there really is nothing more to rub in and Adora stops, her hands coming to rest on Catra's shoulders. Slowly, a little self indulgently, she allows her eyes to open. She could do it right now. Ask Catra out.

“You better not've drawn a dick on me,” Catra warns suddenly.

“Damn, you got me.”

“You bitch!”

They’re back to play wrestling in an instant, and Adora thanks god for the break in mood. She begs Catra through her laughter to let her put sunscreen on in peace, and after a torturous minute Catra finally relents, throwing herself backwards on to the deck and away from Adora.

There’s a peaceful minute while Adora massages sunscreen into her skin and calms her furiously beating heart, then suddenly Catra’s standing and leaning over Adora.

“Last one to the beach is the worst at football!”

“Oh, come on!”

Adora, thankfully finished, tosses the bottle down and scrambles to her feet, but Catra’s already sprinted off across the garden. Adora takes up the chase, but she unfortunately knows from past experience that Catra’s faster than her.

The race takes them through the garden, across a painful gravelly road, then straight onto the sand dunes. Adora runs as fast as she can, complaining loudly after Catra as her feet sink into the burning sand. She climbs upwards until suddenly the ground drops away, sloping steeply down to the beach below. The ocean is laid out before her, dark blue and sparkling as gentle waves swell and crash into the surf.

“Hey, loser!” Catra is standing below her, waving and grinning wider than Adora has ever seen her. “You gonna swim or what?”

Catra’s question is answered when Adora takes off running down the dunes and towards the surf, yelling with delight. She passes a laughing Catra and sprints across the sand, leaping over driftwood and seaweed. The first wave of water splashes against her shins and it’s wonderfully cold. She wades in deeper until the water reaches her waist, then gratefully dives into the next wave.

When she emerges, Catra is still up on the beach, water lapping around her ankles. Adora shakes the water out of her eyes and ears and beckons to her.

“What’s wrong? Cat afraid of water?”

“Quit making puns out of my name.” Catra takes a hesitant step closer, wincing as a small wave rushes past her ankles. “I’ve never actually swum in the sea before.”

“Oh! Hold on.” Adora splashes her way back to Catra and takes her by the wrist. “You can swim with me. I’ll make sure you don’t drown.”

Catra doesn’t have time to argue before Adora’s dragging her away from the sand and deeper into the water. A wave rushes past them and Catra squeals as it splashes up her stomach.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be easier once you put your head under!” Adora reassures her. “Plus, waves are a good thing. You want to be careful of calm patches because they’re probably riptides that will drag you out to sea.”

Catra clings onto Adora’s arm, grip so tight it hurts. “I’ve told you you’re terrible at pep talks, right? Like, truly awful.”

“You’ll be fine! Look, we’re already deep enough to swim.” Catra still looks uncertain so Adora takes both her hands in her own and smiles. “It’s better once you put your head under. Let’s do it together, okay?”

“No no no,” Catra starts to protest.

“Here comes the next wave! Let’s go!”

Adora ducks down, pulling the flailing girl with her just as a large wave crashes above their heads. For a moment they’re tossed around, the rush of water roaring loud in their ears, then everything goes quiet.

Adora loves being underwater. Not swimming, just the feeling of being submerged. She loves the pressure on her ears and how eerily silent it gets. She revels in the compression across her lungs and the sharp sting as she runs out of air. And right now she can’t get enough of the feeling of cold hands in hers. Slowly, flinching a little against the salt sting, she opens her eyes.

The water is a murky green and Catra is golden against it. Her hair floats out in twisted tendrils around her face, eyes and mouth pinched shut against the water. Adora squeezes her hands and slowly, Catra’s eyes open. For a few blissful seconds, they stare at each other. Adora wishes she could keep Catra down here forever, in a perfectly still moment.

Catra rises back up to the surface in a flurry of bubbles, pulling Adora with her. Her head breaks the surface and she gasps in air, blinking the salt out of her eyes. Catra is spluttering, hands still gripped tight in hers. Adora feels her throat tighten when Catra shakes the water from her hair.

In Adora’s mind, Bow asks ‘Are you going to ask her out?’.

She drops Catra’s hands and steps back, laughing nervously.

“Better now, right? I’m going to go a bit deeper.”

She doesn’t check to see if Catra’s following behind her.

Adora wishes she could avoid Catra for the rest of the day. Given that there’s only a small group of them in a tiny house and Catra is her plus one, it’s literally impossible. Maybe inviting her crush on holiday with her hadn’t been the most intelligent of ideas.

The rest of their swim is a little awkward, though it’s made better by Bow and Glimmer setting up a game of beach cricket (which means Adora can stand well away from Catra without being suspicious, but also means she loses horribly because she can’t stop staring at Catra instead of the ball). Dinner is also okay because Bow is a dominating force in conversation and pesters Catra with so many questions she can barely eat. However Adora had forgotten about their sleeping arrangements for that night.

The tent had seemed much bigger on the outside. It’s only now, with all four of their group fumbling around by the dim lamp light trying to create enough room to sleep comfortably, that Adora fully grasps the concept of ‘two-person’ tents. They’ve rolled out their sleeping bags which are squished tightly side by side, on occasion close enough to overlap slightly. 

This would be fine, this would be absolutely, totally, one hundred percent fine, if it were just the best friend squad in the tent. Adora can’t count the amount of times they’ve spooned at sleepovers. But Catra is here too, and her sleeping bag is right next to Adora’s, and Adora realises now that this is going to be a problem.

Worse yet, it’s summer and the night is humid and sweaty. There’s a distinct lack of clothes among the group. Adora herself has stripped down to a singlet and shorts and Bow has ditched wearing a shirt entirely. Catra is wearing summer pajamas. It’s leading Adora to distraction. They’re cute, the absolute last thing Adora would picture Catra wearing to bed. She’s not sure why, but for some reason she’d thought Catra would be wearing her usual leather jacket. In summer. Nice one Adora, of course that’s what Catra would sleep in. 

The pajama top is low cut and loose fitting, exposing dainty collarbones and more chest than Adora was prepared for. At one point Catra leans down in front of her to adjust her sleeping bag and Adora only just shuts her eyes in time, her heart threatening to beat itself out of her chest. The shorts aren’t much better. However when it comes to those, Adora’s self-restraint  is a little worse. At least Catra can’t catch her staring with her back turned.

After some commotion, they all settle down to sleep, Adora tucked tightly between Catra and Glimmer like the ham in a beautiful girl sandwich. She forces herself to turn away from Catra, seeking refuge from temptation in the back of Glimmer’s neck, and reflects that this is only the first of the three nights they’ll be spending in this hell tent. 

She’s horribly aware of Catra right behind her, so close she can feel her breath against her neck. She tries to lie still and ignore how hyper aware she is of the other girl. It doesn’t work. She stays wide awake for so long that her eyes adjust to the dark completely. When Glimmer starts snoring Adora decides to just bite the bullet. Looking at Catra is like opening Pandora’s box, the temptation so strong she was kidding herself when she thought she could resist. 

Carefully, so as not to jostle Glimmer, she rolls over. She almost gets a heart attack to see that like her, Catra’s eyes are wide open. She can’t see the blue and gold of her eyes in the dark, but just looking at Catra is enough to steal away her breath for a moment. Catra doesn’t look away. She just blinks at her, slowly.

“What are you staring at?” Adora asks quietly.

Catra smiles, but her expression lacks all of its usual sharpness. Instead it just looks warm and genuine, maybe because she was smiling more from her eyes than her mouth. Adora thinks she likes this smile the best.

“You,” Catra whispers, and she reaches out a finger to softly boop her nose.

Adora’s glad Catra can’t see her blush in the dark.

“Why?” 

Catra considers the question for a few sleepy seconds. “Because you’re adorable.”

The breath Adora hadn’t been conscious of holding is suddenly released in a puff of silent laughter. She gently kicks Catra through their sleeping bags.

“You’re ridiculous. How long have you been waiting to make that dumb pun?”

“Probably all year” Catra confesses.

“I hate you.”

“Liar. You loved it.”

“You’re not original!”

“But you laughed.”

Adora has no argument for that. She pouts and Catra giggles quietly.

“See? Adorable!”

“Goodnight, Catra,” Adora huffs, grumpily.

“Yeah. Goodnight, princess.”

Adora closes her eyes and slows her breathing, but she still cannot find sleep. She lies there for several minutes, listening to the sounds of her friends snoring and the waves outside and the never ceasing buzz of cicadas. Then she opens her eyes again.

Catra is asleep. 

Adora allows herself to stare, just this once, without feelings of guilt or embarrassment. As she herself begins to feel drowsy her mind settles back on her earlier conversation with Bow. Maybe she would ask Catra out. It would be worth risking rejection just to see Catra blush, after all.

___________________

“Hey, Adora!”

Adora looks up from where she’s squatting in the shallows, pants rolled up to the thigh and hands buried in the sand underwater. Beneath her fingers she can feel the pipi shellfish sink away again.

Catra is calling her from further along the beach. She’s standing beneath a large Pohutukawa  tree in full bloom. Adora abandons her pipi hunt and runs over to Catra, ignoring the way the hot sand burns her feet as she heads inland. It’s only when she gets closer that Adora realises what she was called over for.

“Pretty cool, right?”

Catra’s standing beside a large swing tied to one of the overhanging branches of the tree. It’s wide enough to fit two people and the wood looks smooth and almost lovingly carved. Adora reaches out to test the strength of one of the ropes.

“This is way classier than those tractor tyre swings you usually get at the beach,” Adora agrees.

Catra sits herself down in the middle of the swing and start pushing herself in a slow circle, letting the ropes wind together.

“What are you, a child?” Adora laughs.

“My legs are too long to actually swing on this thing,” Catra pouts. “There many pipi out there today?”

“Plenty. Enough that we can take a few for the barbecue, I think. Though if Glimmer can catch a crayfish or some kina I think that would steal the show.” Adora yelps and jumps back as Catra suddenly kicks her feet out and lets the swing spin back into its natural state. Catra bursts into laughter and Adora pretends to be mad, reaching out to shake the swing a little. “You’re an actual child!”

“Not my fault you were standing so close.” Catra stands up again and stretches, bringing her arms over her head and flexing in a way that has Adora staring. “I’m bored. Why don’t you show me how to find those pipi?”

Cooling back down in the water sounds pretty good to Adora, so she agrees. They scramble back down the dunes. When they reach the shoreline, Adora notices Catra hesitate slightly before tentatively stepping into the water.

“So, what exactly do I do?” Catra’s voice is a little gruff, and Adora wonders if she’s embarrassed. It’s kinda cute.

“There’s clusters of them in the sand, so I guess you just dig until you find them?” Adora’s aware her explanation is rather terrible, so she hastily bends down and thrusts her hands in the water. “Like this, see?”

“Right.”

Catra copies her, wincing as a small wave rushes past them. It doesn’t take long for Adora to find a handful, and she picks out the big ones, slipping them carefully into the bag she’s hung over her shoulder.

“I can’t find any,” Catra mutters.

“You’re probably just in the wrong spot. Here.” Before Adora thinks to consider the consequences of her actions, she’s reaching over and taking Catra’s hand in her own. She hesitates, staring at their linked hands between them, then quickly shoves both their hands back under water, close to where she’d just been digging. “I think there were some here.”

“Thanks.”

Adora resolutely doesn’t meet Catra’s eyes. They dig in silence for another minute, occasionally dropping more shellfish into the bag.

“You know,” Catra says, and the break in silence so unexpected Adora looks up at her automatically. “I’m really glad I asked you to dance at your school ball.”

“That’s an odd thing to be glad for all of a sudden.”

“Well, it’s where this all started, isn’t it? That was the first time where we didn’t hate each other’s guts.”

“Huh, I guess so. Why did you ask me to dance, anyway?”

“I wanted you to look at me.”

Adora’s face instantly burns red. Honestly, it’s unfair how easily she blushes. Distantly in her mind, beneath the part that’s playing Catra’s last sentence on repeat and the part that’s thinking about how nice Catra looks, she wishes she hadn’t put sunscreen on so she could blame the blush on sunburn.

“That’s, um…” Adora stammers.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is,” Catra continues, “I’m grateful to be here with you. And that the universe has lead me down this path, or whatever.”

“Oh…” Something sharp suddenly clamps down on Adora’s finger and she draws her hand out of the water. “Hey, I found a crab!”

The moment is thoroughly ruined after that. Catra shrieks and retreats back onto dry sand. Adora is unable to coax Catra back into the water, even after moving the crab to a different spot. When she realises her finger is bleeding they decide to call it a day.

“Bow and Glimmer are probably back from diving by now, anyway,” Adora reasons. She and Catra are holding the bag of pipi between them.

“Think they got anything good?” Catra asks.

“Maybe a couple of crayfish and some other things. Glimmer says the sea life has died out a lot over the last few years so I doubt they would’ve found too much.”

“Fucking climate change.”

“Fucking lax fishing restrictions.”

They step out onto the road and Adora hisses as the gravel digs into her feet.

“Need me to carry you, princess?”

“I’m fine,” Adora grumbles, and then proceeds to stumble.

Almost instantly, arms loop around her thighs and she’s being hoisted up and thrown over a bony shoulder like she weighs nothing more than a sack of potatoes. Jesus Christ, Adora was not aware Catra had this much upper body strength. Holy shit.

“I said I was fine!” Adora yells, whacking the pipi bag against Catra’s back repeatedly.

“What was that?” Catra asks, but her question tapers off into a laugh.

“Catra, this is so embarrassing! Put me down!”

Strong arms tighten around Adora’s bare thighs and she’s jostled a little as Catra steps onto grass. Catra’s showing no signs of releasing her and Adora can only struggle so much before she runs the risk of falling.

“Catra, you’re such an ass. I hate you.”

“Aw, don’t say that. You’re hurting my feelings.”

“And you’re hurting my pride.”

They’re interrupted by a shout of laughter from the house. Catra has her facing in the wrong direction but she can tell that it’s Bow and instantly the situation grows a whole lot worse.

“Uh oh! Looks like the cat brought us a mouse!”

“I’m not a mouse!” Adora shrieks the same time as Catra growls, “What is it with you guys and the cat puns?”

“Face it Catra, you were born to be a cat girl.”

“Whatever.” Adora is shifted slightly on Catra’s shoulder and she can tell that Catra is embarrassed. Good. “Did you and Glimmer catch anything good?”

“Nothing as good as your haul,” and oh, Adora can just hear the sneer in his voice. “But we got a couple of crayfish. Glimmer has them on the barbecue now if you want to join her.”

“That sounds perfect. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a mouse to grill.”

“Ew.”

Catra stalks off in the direction of the house from where the smells of cooking are already wafting through the air. Adora isn’t put down the whole time.

_______________

On Christmas eve, Adora’s mother calls her into the tiny kitchen to help her with food prep. Everyone is outside, enjoying the last of the sunlight and unwinding, but for once Adora is happy to stay back in the company of her mother.

She begins chopping carrots, though her mind isn’t really in the task. She’s looking out the window, to where Catra, Bow and Glimmer are battling Glimmer’s brothers in a makeshift game of volleyball. Bow and Glimmer are both good but Catra is positively dreadful. Adora can’t stop the smile that spreads across her face as Catra somehow manages to hit the ball backwards for the billionth time. Everyone seems to be laughing at her, but it doesn’t take long for Catra to start laughing too, head thrown back and shoulders shaking. Something in Adora’s chest feels light.

“So. You like Catra, huh?” Adora nearly brings the knife down on her own fingers but fortunately her mother yanks her arm out of the way just in time. She seems to take that as confirmation enough because she nods and a sly smile slides over her mouth. “I finally guessed it.”

Adora blushes furiously. “I have no idea what you mean.” 

“You’ve been staring at her all holiday, did you really think I wouldn’t work it out?”

Adora hesitates. She puts the knife down carefully and turns to fully face her mother. 

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Yes, I am. Honey, you gave me a lot to think about when you came out. I actually… well I’ve been looking at some resources online and doing some reading up. It took a while but I realised you were right… about everything. I’ve been prejudiced towards so many people, including my own daughter, because of one man who hurt me years ago. It’s time I let go.”

Adora blinks and realises her eyes had watered up a little. She rubs the palm of her hand against them quickly. “You, uh. You’re serious?”

Her mother nods and her hands still.

“I won’t pretend it wasn’t hard for me to become okay with you being gay. I have a lot of unchecked biases and prejudices that I’m only now just beginning to see. But I was hurting you, which was something I thought I’d never do. I’m trying to get better, for the both of us. I’m still trying.”

“Mum…” Adora doesn’t know how to put her relief into words, her joy at finally being safe and feeling loved unconditionally. Tentatively, she steps forward and wraps her arms around her mother. It’s the first hug they’ve shared in a very long time.

“You’ve been researching,” Adora says into her shoulder. She feels her mother nod. In a much quieter voice she mumbles, “I’m in love with Catra.”

Her mother laughs and hugs her tighter. Adora thinks they’re both crying.

“Darling, I am well aware.”

________________________

Adora wakes up on Christmas morning to the peaceful sound of Glimmer’s brothers shouting. Consciousness comes back to her slowly, so it takes a moment before the weight against her side and on her shoulder registers. Without moving, she glances down.

Catra is lying curled up against Adora’s side, one arm slung over her stomach and her face pushed into her neck. For a very indulgent second, Adora considers lying there another hour and just letting this happen. Catra looks so comfortable after all and Adora would hate to wake her.

“Fucking rats,” comes a groan from Adora’s other side. Glimmer has apparently been roused from her slumber as well. “I’m going to kill them.”

Bow yawns loudly and rolls over, jostling the tent. “Just do it quietly.”

Catra shifts against Adora’s body and Adora sighs. Of course this peace could only last so long. She looks down at Catra, who’s now awake and blinking wearily, and smiles.

“Merry Christmas,” she murmurs.

“No,” Catra whines, tightening her grip around Adora’s waist. “Five more minutes. Comfy.”

Adora laughs and reaches up to pet Catra’s head. “Is that so?”

“Oh.” Catra’s eyes widen and she scrambles to sit up, putting a few inches of distance between herself and Adora. “Uh… sorry.”

“Please,” Glimmer groans from Adora’s other side. “It is far too early for this. I haven’t even had a coffee yet.”

“Awwww! Catra, you're a sleep cuddler? That is so cute.”

Oh yeah. Bow and Glimmer are in the tent too. Adora, who has been remarkably composed up until now, feels her entire face start to go red. Catra isn’t faring much better. She has a wide eyed expression, like a deer caught in the headlights, and is slowly pushing herself up against the wall of the tent as if hoping it might absorb her into its nylon depths.

“I’m not cute,” she manages to spit out.

“Your bedhead says otherwise.”

“Fuck you.”

The four of them start getting ready for the day, banter flowing easily despite the early hour. Even after copious amounts of brushing, Catra can’t quite get her bedhead to calm down and Adora is secretly glad of it. They head over to the house where the rest of the families are already up and waiting with a kitchen full of breakfast foods.

Since it’s Christmas Day and there are young kids present in the house, it doesn’t take long before presents are unwrapped. They sit outside on the deck as it’s already sunny and warm. Adora and Bow are on either side of Catra, patting her messy hair and cooing every time someone gives her a gift and she gets flustered. Which is every time. Bow and Glimmer knitted Adora and Catra matching scarves and Catra turns bright pink as she stumbles out a thank you.

Eventually, most of the gifts are exchanged and everyone has started drifting back to their own space. Adora goes to stand, thinking she might head to the beach to cool off, but Catra stops her with a hand briefly touched to her arm.

“Can I talk to you in private?”

And oh, if those words doesn’t send Adora’s stomach swooping stupidly.

“Uh, yeah! Of course!”

Catra gets up, and Adora follows her out of the house and round the back to the deserted garden. It suddenly occurs to her that none of the gifts she had received earlier had been from Catra, though Catra had bought gifts for both Bow and Glimmer.

“Thanks for the book,” Catra says, and her voice is lowered, like she doesn’t want to be overheard.

“Oh, no problem!”

It had been a little bit of a problem. Catra had mentioned a book she’d been interested in reading and what should’ve been a simple gift had almost been impossible to find. She’d had to order online, but then the package got lost and it almost didn’t arrive in time for them to leave.

“I promise I didn’t forget you when I was buying gifts. But I thought this was best given in private.”

“Yeah?”

Was it just her, or was Catra leaning forward? Adora wet her lips, nervously.

“I actually thought about it for a long time, and I couldn’t work out what to get you. You’re kind of a hard person to shop for, y’know? And I guess I wanted it to be meaningful.”

“You really didn’t need to buy me anything,” Adora tells her.

“That’s the thing, I didn’t.” Catra pauses, glancing around nervously. Then she steps closer, so close that Adora could count her freckles, if she wanted to. “Close your eyes.”

Adora does as she's told, letting the world around her go dark, and it’s so quiet in that moment that her senses start to focus in on the tiniest things around her. The smell of sea salt, her own heartbeat, the tingling under her skin as Catra wraps her hand around her wrist. For a tiny, electrifying moment, Adora allows herself to wonder if Catra’s going to kiss her.

And then something cool and hard is pressed into her palm.

“Okay, you can open them again.”

Adora does. She stares down at her hand, disappointed and bewildered, and then surprised.

“I know I’m kinda cheating here. I mean, does it really count as giving you a gift if I’m just returning something that’s already yours?”

“Where did you get this?”

It’s a comb. The golden comb she had lost at the school ball all those months ago.

“I found it on the dance floor. Right before I went outside to find you. I was going to return it then but I… this is stupid. Forget it.”

“No! I… I’m glad you returned it to me. I’m just confused. Why now?”

“Because I… Well I thought if I didn’t give it back to you then, then I would have an excuse to see you again. But then we kept seeing each other anyway and I was kind of saving it for after graduation maybe? So I could come visit you. But it seems like we’re stuck with each other now.”

Adora laughs and tucks the comb into her pocket. She should be feeling disappointed, but instead she’s just falling for Catra even more, and that can’t feel anything but incredible. It’s another layer to Catra stripped back, and to know that the aloof captain had liked her all this time makes her want to keep smiling all day.

“Oh, and I also made you this.”

Catra hands her a small piece of paper. It’s a certificate that reads ‘2nd place! My condolences.’ Adora stops smiling.

“Okay, you’ve had your fun.”

__________________

They have a party that night, complete with Christmas crackers, paper crowns and incredibly badly sung carols (courtesy of Bow). It’s summer, so the sun is still shining bright when the last of the food is cleared from the table. Adora immediately volunteers to help her mother with dishes, which has gone from being a horribly awkward experience to one she genuinely enjoys.

When she finally comes back out to the garden most of their group is still around, chatting or messing around. However there is one missing person whom Adora had been rather excited to spend time with.

She nudges Glimmer, who’s sitting beside her on the deck, deep into a new book.

“Hey, have you seen Catra?” 

Glimmer frowns, thinking for a moment. There’s a purple paper crown sitting lopsidedly on her head. “Not for a while... Have you checked in the tent?”

Adora does. It’s empty, though Adora didn’t really expect more. She returns to the house and checks all the rooms, but they’re all Catra-less. Bow passes by her, mid nerf-gun battle with Glimmer's brothers. Adora stops him for a second to let him know she’s going for a breath of fresh air and he salutes her. Both of them get shot.

It’s pleasantly warm outside. There’s a slight breeze rustling through the grass and causing the trees to shiver. Adora picks her way across the gravel road and stumbles over the dunes onto the beach.

The sea is calm at this time. It’s low tide, and the last few rays of sun have turned the horizon where the water and sky meet golden. The sand stretches out to meet the few tiny waves that are tumbling against it, far away. At first glance the beach seems deserted, with the exception of a Kingfisher, hopping along the shoreline. And yet Adora knows that Catra is here.

A thousand tiny shells glitter under her bare feet as Adora makes her way down the beach. It doesn’t take long to find her. Adora never can seem to lose Catra for long. Silhouetted against the paling sky, Catra sits on the swing under the Pohutukawa tree they’d found yesterday. She’s facing the other way, but as Adora approaches she can see her stiffen.

“Hey, Catra.”

She comes to a stop in front of her. Catra looks up to meet her gaze steadily, expression soft and open. Bizarrely, she’s reminded of their first meeting, back at the supermarket what seems like forever ago now. She’d had to work so hard to get Catra’s attention back then. Now Catra gives it willingly. Adora has a feeling Catra would give her just about anything if she asked.

“Not feeling the party?”

Catra shrugs. “I just needed to be alone for a bit.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

Adora knows the answer even before Catra shakes her head. Catra shuffles over on the swing to make room for Adora and she sits. Their bodies press together comfortably and Adora can’t help but think that they fit perfectly.

“I guess I’m just not used to having a family Christmas, you know? It was only ever just me and mum, and she wasn’t exactly the festive type. There’s so many people here and everyone’s so happy to be around each other… to be around me.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No,” Catra says. Her voice is so small Adora can barely hear it. “I like it.”

There’s a feeling inside Adora’s chest that swells at Catra’s words. It’s strong, warm. Adora can feel it pressing up against her rib cage like a tiny sun. She takes Catra’s hand in her own, her thumb brushing gently against her skin. 

“You can keep us,” she says. What she means is ‘You can keep me.’

Catra’s eyes widen. Blue and gold. Adora realises belatedly that they’re the same colours as the beach.

“Thank you.”

They sit in comfortable silence, watching the sun slowly sink into the waves. Above them, the Pohutukawa flowers glow a brilliant red. For a while, time seems to stop. There is only this moment, stretching out forever. Catra and Adora sitting side by side on the swing, watching the sunset at the beginning of the world. 

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Catra says quietly. Her gaze doesn’t leave the horizon. “It’s been on my mind for a while, but I don’t know how you’ll take it.”

“You can tell me anything.”

Catra breathes out slowly and her eyes flutter shut.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Adora doesn’t have time to process the words before Catra plows on, stumbling over her words as she attempts to get them all out.

“You’ve always been more than what you were supposed to be. To me. More than a cute face, more than an enemy, more than… more than a friend. I can’t quite explain it, but I think I would do anything for you. Even when we hated each other I would’ve done anything for you. Seeing you hurting was like having my own heart ripped out.” Catra’s hand reaches up to clench the front of her shirt, as if her heart were in physical pain at that very moment. “It still is. Jesus, Adora.”

“Catra…”

“You don’t need to say anything right now, hell you can say you hate me if that’s how you really feel, but I just needed you to know. You’re really important to me.”

“Catra.”

Adora lifts her hand and gently tilts Catra's head to face her.

“What?”

“Open your eyes.”

Catra squeezes them shut harder, shaking her head.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m scared.”

Adora shifts her hand on Catra’s cheek, brushing her thumb over her eyelid as tenderly as she can manage. Slowly, as if waking, Catra’s eyes ease open. Blue and gold. Adora smiles. She can feel joy spreading through her like sunlight.

“I love you too.”

She only has to lean forward a little to press her lips to Catra’s, and when she does it feels so incredibly right. The kiss is tentative at first, barely a brush. But then Catra tilts her head and deepens the kiss, months worth of want and anger and need lighting a fire inside her and breathing sparks into their touch.

Her thumb brushes over Catra's cheekbone, across the freckles she's wanted to touch for so long. The kiss deepens, yet remains tender. Like they're both in a dream and the wrong move could send them crashing back into reality.

Catra licks across Adora's lower lip and she gasps, her eyes fluttering closed. This is so much better than their first kiss. So much better than Adora could have ever imagined. It's warm, gentle. It feels like a promise.

By the time they draw apart the sun has vanished under the sea. Catra's eyes look glazed, her lips pink and oh so very kissable. Adora is panting slightly. Her whole body seems to be shaking with the effort of not kissing Catra again.

“You’re so beautiful,” Adora gasps, because that seems to be the only coherent sentence her brain is capable of making.

Catra laughs, which only serves to make her even more beautiful. Her eyes are crinkled at the edges and Adora breaks. She leans in to plant tiny kisses there, then moves down to her dimples. Catra pushes her away, still giggling, and her lingering hand comes up to push a stray lock of hair behind Adora's ear.

“You’ll take that back in a couple of days when we still don’t have access to a shower.”

“Didn't you hear Glimmer? The ocean is our shower now.”

“The ocean doesn't do shit!”

Now Adora's laughing too.

“If you don't think the smell of rotting seaweed isn't a huge turn on then this just isn't going to work out.”

Catra snorts and shoves Adora's shoulder affectionately. “You're disgusting.”

“Something tells me that isn't going to stop you from kissing me again.”

A smile curls at the corner of Catra's lips and she grabs a fistful of Adora's shirt, pulling her close.

“You're right.”

The next kiss is even better.

______________

“Adora, I swear to god, if you put one more noodle pack in this basket-”

“But mum doesn’t let me have these at home!”

Adora drops a spicy beef pack into their already overflowing basket and Catra removes it immediately, placing it back on the shelf with a huff.

“Maybe she did that for a reason, dumbass. Aren’t you on a meal plan?”

Adora pouts. Catra holds strong for a few seconds, then breaks, placing the pack back into their basket.

“Fine. Just one more.”

Adora smiles and kisses her girlfriend on the cheek. When Catra turns her back to look at soup cans, she sneaks an extra packet into the basket.

Wellington is very different to their town back home. It’s bigger, brighter, stranger. There are no familiar faces in the supermarket, or in her new hall of residence, or on the university campus. Yet the people are friendly. She already has plans to go drinking with her neighbours on Friday and there’s an orientation event happening for the rainbow students on Wednesday.

And of course Catra is here. Catra, her beautiful girlfriend, who takes her out to buy snacks yet limits her noodle purchases. They live in different halls, but they’re only a ten minute walk apart. Their new city may be big and new, but having Catra there with her means she never feels lost. She’s brought home with her, after all.

“Hey, Adora!” Catra’s already reached the end of the aisle, eyebrow raised impatiently. “Hurry up, slowpoke.”

Adora laughs and runs to catch up with her. Catra slips her free hand into Adora’s and they make their way towards produce, hip bumping each other playfully.

“You looked far away for a bit there,” Catra notes. “Lost in thought?”

“Only lost in your eyes.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“You think it’s cute.”

“You got me there.”

Catra starts inspecting vegetables and Adora fills the basket with avocados. They have to release hands but there’s still constant contact between them; the brush of an elbow, the bump of a shoulder.

“I guess I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you here with me,” Adora admits.

Catra nearly drops the eggplant she’s holding.

“Babe, you’re making it really hard for me to not make out with you in the middle of the supermarket right now.”

“Hey, I’m trying to be sincere!”

“So am I!”

Adora laughs and puts Catra’s eggplant back on the shelf. “I don’t like these. And we can make out all we want back at mine.”

Catra blushes but looks pleased. Adora turns away to look at the summer fruit sale display, but that doesn’t stop her from hearing Catra’s next words.

“I’m lucky to have you here with me, too.”

Adora smiles, warmth billowing in her chest, and picks a fruit. Instead of placing it in the basket, she pushes it into Catra’s free hand.

“Come on, let’s buy all this before the sun goes down.”

“Sure thing, princess.”

Adora takes the basket and heads towards checkout, but Catra hesitates. She looks down at the fruit in her hand.

It’s a peach.

She’s so in love.