Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This is a planet called Alternia. During the day, the sun burns hot enough to force most creatures underground, and the few that can withstand the intense heat have to contend with wandering hordes of undead. During the night, a moon of pink illuminates the dangerous beasts that emerge to hunt each other, and a moon of green watches youngsters skitter about the surface in their own personal quests for life, love, and meaning in what amounts to a society. There is a particular focus to the green moon, particular individuals that it influences to keep a long plan going as it waits. The influence...

...is not our concern. It's best not to meddle with that one, anyway.

Our attention, instead, turns to what might pass as a temperate region on another planet, one populated by haphazardly constructed dwellings, each made as though some innocent child stacked giant blocks together at random before a more skilled carpenter came along and hollowed out the resulting structure. Through the streets we wind, the moonlight painting things in soft shades as we pass the inhabitants--a couple, awkwardly failing to flirt, a young woman tapping her foot as she glowers at a timepiece, a figure pulling a cloak over themself in an alleyway, a screen where a face advertises the latest in fashion trends with a strained grin...

Past all that we head, into an area of larger and better-built homes. And past them still, to a place where the buildings abruptly end, giving way to a field of tall blue grass, with one winding path leading through it (and, to the clever eye, narrower paths branching off purple cobbles into the field itself). A reptilian beast snorts in its sleep as we trek by, into the large banner-adorned fortress it rests by. We climb the stairs--carefully, carefully, best not to fall--marveling at the elegant mosaic of two colorful figures dancing about a carnival that is embedded in the floor of the grand entryway. Round the encircling balcony we step, past one aperture, two, three, and at the fourth of twelve we enter a hallway, with horned faces glaring down at us from the paintings on either side...

And now, a door, conveniently already open. We step through, and see them--a pair of horns like twin streaks of fire, red at the base and yellow at the tips, on a giant of a woman carefully applying the last bit of white paint to her otherwise gray face. She leans back from the mirror, fluffing her magnificent golden hair, and a frown passes across her expression as she peers at the reflection. She shakes her head, accepting it, before turning around; her eyes rove the room, yellow sclera surrounding surprisingly soft lilac irises. She loosens the ridiculous collar of her purple longcoat, adjusts the amber bracers on her arms, and takes a deep breath.

A young woman stands in her respiteblock, contemplating her existence. Eight solar sweeps ago, she was given life, and now she wonders who she is. Perhaps we could give her a little help?

==>ENTER NAME: Bodacious Brawl Babe

Really noticing those surface details, ain'tcha. Let's try this again, more seriously.

==>ENTER NAME: Yoxang Liaong

Much better!

Your name is Yoxang Liaong, which is a perfectly ordinary name for a troll, which is what you are. A troll. You have always been a troll and cannot recall ever being anything else. Yep, you're one hundred percent a pure trolling machine. Which is a good thing because you're not just any troll; you're a purpleblood, the highest on the hemospectrum a troll can be without actually being a seadweller. Which makes you In Charge, period. Unless some seadweller decides to pass through your hivemound, in which case you would be responsible for their safety until they left. But apart from that, you're basically top barkbeast around here.

Your hobbies include BRAWLING, BIKING, and BAKING, although you're admittedly not very good at that last one. You're also interested in STORIES OF DARING ADVENTURERS, not just the kind that go up against monsters because those tales are as common as monsters, but the kind that go up against real menaces, the sort of courage that creates hope for everybody when they go up against the odds and win. It's something you've always wanted to do and, hey, you do get to FIGHT MONSTERS sometimes when they come swarming in from the nearby woods. It's a heck of a thrill, and seeing all the other trolls look up at you as you smash the invaders makes your bloodpusher warm. In fact, you love just HANGING OUT with people because, let's be real, everyone is always coming up with something new and it's great to have friends and...

...well...

The thing is, you're not sure you have many friends. Sure, you've got plenty of fans, because you keep the hivemound safe and have some wicked dance moves. And hey, it's not like you don't like helping your fans! Or joining in on their parties! But the parties have felt about the same as candy--a bunch of small bursts of super sweetness that leave you kinda happy but aren't really filling, and lately you've been wanting something with real meat in it. It kinda feels like for all you help trolls out with their problems, you can't really talk with them with your own concerns. Maybe if you found somebody you could trust, not just to reassure you but to actually understand, you could figure out what it is that's bouncing through your head.

Your trolltag is RampagingMagnificence and you ex9,ress your thoughts with s9,unk! s9,irit! and just a 6it oƒ soƒtness.

What will you do?

==>Pull some wicked dance moves.

What the hell, you've got time.

You tip-tap your boots with surprising grace, before springing into a backflip and slamming the ground with a single palm, spinning your strut sticks down and around as you jump to your other hand to send your strut pods back into the air. Then you do an acrobatic flipping pirouette, landing in a squat and kicking each leg four times before you twirl and skid into a standing position, waving your hands like a jazz legend. If there was a crowd, they'd be going crazier then a rainbow drinker in a blood bank from your wicked sweet moves. Since there isn't one, though, you just bask in the post-dance glee of 'yep I totally just did that I am so awesome.'

==>Exit Respiteblock.

You leave your respiteblock, walking past the PORTRAITS OF HISTORICAL TROLLS you don't really even know the names of. You're not sure why you even have these, and you mockingly shudder once you're past them, stepping into the FESTIVITYBLOCK that could, in theory, house the entire hivemound for one big carousal. Or, purely hypothetically, keep them safe from imperial drones on the off-chance some other highblood decides to level the place for a selfie or something. Not that you've ever directly mentioned that, but you may have occasionally hinted to the moundspeople that, you know, you have a lot of room in your hive, and you bought a few (dozen) recuperacoons for this really great prank on another purpleblood once and you haven't gotten rid of them, and you can't possibly know everything that goes on in your hive, did you mention it's big? With spare recuperacoons for people to sleep in? You know, just putting it out there, in case it ever comes up.

For some reason, not many trolls seem to be willing to take the hint.

You lean on the railing with a sigh, looking down at the mosaic of the DARK CARNIVAL in the ground. Like many purplebloods, you're a part of the CLOWN CHURCH, primarily because you were inducted into it as a wide-eyed three-sweep-old troll. And, sure, you can pun like nobody's business and have a rocking sense of humor and make sure everybody has fun at parties, that's all great! But there's been something soaking into your sponge about the church, a thought that many of your caste might decry as blasphemous if you ever spoke it out loud.

The thing is... you're not really sure that worshipping a god who's going to destroy the universe is the wisest idea. In fact, you strongly suspect it's downright foolish. And the way that the troll sacrifices to appease him become such productions makes your chitin crawl.

==>Overthrow Clown Church.

Oh, if only! Sure, you don't agree with the words of the holy texts, but you're pretty sure your fellow purplebloods would tear you limb from limb if you even suggested they could be wrong. Besides, as horrible as the church is, it at least keeps less conscientious purplebloods in check, soothing the bloodlusty instincts with faygo and keeping them in awe of a higher power instead of just terrorizing the lower bloods for their own amusements.

You're well aware that not every troll is as concerned about each other as you are. Her Imperious Condescension decreed that any who don't meet the empire's standards should be culled, but she leaves the details on how to handle that up to the ones actually on the planet--and it's not uncommon for those of higher castes to kill the lowers for offending them, or as payment for losing a game, or even just because they needed the right shade of blood for their new painting. On the flipside, there are plenty of lowbloods that will kill a highblood for vengeance, profit, or just because they don't like how they look, and so long as they can 'prove' that it was a legal culling they don't get culled themselves. It's a troll cull troll world out there, and it's better to have some sort of structure that forces people to think about how they'll justify things (or at least file the proper prayer paperwork) then pull out the rug from an entire ruling caste wired to go into murderous rages if pushed too far.

That's another thing you really aren't sure about--the culling in general. Sure, it keeps the weak and the mutants from poisoning the gene pool for more than a few generations, and becoming part of an intergalactic conquest force requires a level of fortitude, but... you just can't help but think that a society where killing each other is socially acceptable might have something fundamentally wrong with it. It's not a thought you've voiced, because no troll is exempt from the threat of culling if they get too uppity, but it's a thought that's been soaking into your sponge for a long while--especially with your LITTLE SECRET.

Speak of the angel, sounds like she's back.

==>Locate Little Secret.

You smile fondly as you walk round the balcony, tracing the echos of the clatter you heard through one of the many doorways and trailing down the stairs with surprisingly quiet grace. She should know she doesn't have to do this anymore, but she's always been a bit of a rambunctious sort, and you can't help but play along when she pulls a hunt-and-sequester. Maybe it's just your imagination, but the way she prowls around the shadows and roars when she leaps out is just so cute. You carefully slow down as you approach the spare stockblock you heard the sound come from, careful to set yourself up to loom just the right amount--enough to warn her you're entering, but not enough to scare her away.

With a grin of anticipatory mischief, you lean around the doorframe--and blink when you discover it's not your LITTLE SECRET, but another troll stuffing whatever she can into a brown sack. You can't see her horns under the cloak she's wearing, but from the looks of her clothes she's probably on the lower end of the hemospectrum. Maybe an oliveblood, at the highest? And she's here, stealing from you--a purpleblood! So stealthily, in fact, that you might never have realized anything was gone if it weren't for your games with your LITTLE SECRET.

A lowblood sneaking into a highblood's hive to swipe some of their stuff from under their sniff nub. You've got to admire the sheer gumption that takes.

The troll spins and freezes when she sees you standing in the doorway, and you're suddenly reminded that you are, in fact, a member of a brutal ruling caste known to perform extravagant killings in service of their apocalyptic deity.

Right now, that makes you sadder than anything you can think of.

==>Chapter: End on sobering note.

Chapter Text

==>Be the girl with gumption.

You are now the girl with gumption.

A young woman stands in a stockblock, staring in terror at the massive figure standing in the doorway. Eight solar sweeps ago she was given life, and now she is wondering what her life has become. Maybe we could help her figure it out?

==>Enter Name: Byronically Educated Ninjacat

You're not wrong, exactly, but that's not what we're aiming for here. Take another shot.

==>Enter Name: Blakei Beldon

Sounds about right.

Your name is Blakei Beldon and you are pretty down on your luck, which isn't unusual for a troll (which you are, with a totally normal troll name), but you're so down on your luck it's like you've pinned it in the middle of a muscletheater stage, which would not actually be that hard because your luck is pretty pathetic. It's about as pathetic as your skills as a rogue, as evidenced by the giant figure hulking in the doorway and glaring down at you--well, you're pretty sure it's a glare, you can't quite tell through the face paint that looks like a dragon's skull. It's actually pretty well applied, if utterly terrifying.

Your interests include READING, ACROBATICS, and ROMANTIC SHIPPING, although recent experiences have suggested you might not be the best at that last one. You're also pretty well versed in SCALDING LEAF FLUID ETIQUETTE, thanks to a few very formal situations you were in with an old friend. You kind of like the asthetic, and wish you could have kept the lacy clothes, but alas you had to make and get out fast and, well, it's better for you not to be recognized. You have a secret love of SEA-BASED FOODS, because oh gog do you love fish, you know it's usually only seadwellers that get the best fish but gog do you love fish.

Of course, getting fish is pretty rare for you. It's bad enough for ordinary lowbloods, who can just buy whatever higher castes decide is worth selling them at the local nutritionhive, but doing so requires money, which was hard enough for you to get even before your recent... disagreement. You weren't sure where to head after that, so you gathered up what strength you could muster, hopped the nearest scuttlecoach you could find, and got off in the next mound. Which seems like a decent enough hivebatch, but you're pretty low on funds and you were getting desperate to find a way to make ends meet and you'd heard the local purpleblood had a hive so big she couldn't possibly know everything that went on in it, so you whipped up a plan and oh boy has it blown up in your face. You're sure you feel your doom approaching.

Your new trolltag is ReclusiveIntellectual and y⊙u ch⊙⊙ƺe y⊙ur w⊙rdƺ very care...fully and heƺi...tantly.

What will you do?

==>Dance away your worries.

Ordinarily you'd dismiss that as an utterly insane idea but, in your semi-panicked state, you rationalize that purplebloods like good entertainment and this troll might spare you if you make her laugh?

You drop your sack and begin to boogie, swaying your hips to the beat of your overdrived bloodpusher as you sketch around the room muttering "yattada-daƺ" under your breath. You're really, really not in rhythm with anything, but you're pumping your arms up and down like you're holding an invisible cane, bumping into a box and stumbling before managing to spin it into a knee-sliding big finish. If you were on stage in front of a crowd, they'd probably be coughing a bit right now. As is, you're looking up into those purple eyes with sheer desperation.

"Wow," says the troll. "You are an a'6solutely, hilariously terri'6le dancer."

==>Don't. Do. Anything.

You hold absolutely still. She said you were a terrible dancer, but also that you were hilariously terrible? Maybe that's a good thing. Her hair isn't the usual black of a troll's, but completely golden, and you fearfully wonder just where, exactly, she gets enough dye to make it like that.

Your bloodpusher is galloping like a hoofbeast.

"...So," the purpleblood finally says, "On the one hand, there's this whole thing a'6out stealing ƒrom high'6loods 6eing against the law and culling and all that, 6uuuuuut..." She clasps her hands together with a look of intense concentration. "...on the other hand, it only technically counts as stealing iƒ you take something out oƒ my hive, which you haven't actually done, and... yeah."

She steps into the room, approaching you with a measured pace. Her eyes are on the bag, but they keep flicking toward you. You very cautiously shuffle away from your prize, letting her take it with bated bellowsacs. She kneels down, grabbing the sack with surprisingly gentle delicacy, and opens it.

"Well, let's see... a ƒew oƒ Orƒaner Dualscar's rings, or at least good re9,licas... some ƒancy go'6lets I don't ever really use... 6unch oƒ old coins..." She gives you a small smile. "What was your 9,lan, 9,awn all this oƒƒ in the hivemound?"

"...maybe," you mumble, staring at her sharp fangs.

"Ha. Yeah, I'm kind oƒ a 6igshot down there, that would not have gone over well let me tell you." She puts down the sack. "Word oƒ advice, iƒ you try to take something valua'6le, go somewhere where no'6ody will recognize it iƒ you sell it. Or, you know, stick to taking generic things like ƒlavor discs or money, you know? Stuƒƒ that 9,eo9,le won't miss."

"Uh..." You swallow, trying to figure out what's happening. "Ʒure? I'll, uh, re...member that."

==>Make small talk.

"Ʒ⊙, uh..." You take a deep breath, warily watching the purpleblood. "Y⊙u ƺeem t⊙ be d⊙ing well, I gueƺƺ..."

She rubs the back of her head with a hand. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing alright, I guess. I mean, nothing to com9,lain a'6out, you know, just... living my liƒe."

"Oh." You stand up, very, very carefully. "Y⊙u kn⊙w, maybe I ƺh⊙uld juƺt g⊙--"

"Wait!"

You freeze as the troll reaches out to you--and, surprisingly, she stops, pulling her hand back slowly.

"Just... look, I've got lots oƒ junk, alright? And, you know, a lot oƒ that junk is money that I'm not using, and... iƒ you need a ƒew caegers, I could just ho9 down to the vault and ƒeed a 9,almslat ƒor you."

For a moment you really consider just taking the offer and scampering. But as you look at the troll, you see that her expression is one of genuine concern, and your digestion bladder suddenly feels like it's squeezing around a heavy rock.

"Palmƺlatƺ, they... pe⊙ple can track palmƺlat pur...chaƺeƺ," you point out, averting your eyes to the ground. "If they kn⊙w h⊙w."

The troll nods slowly. "So... you'd like raw cash, huh?"

"If, y⊙u kn⊙w, that... that'ƺ n⊙t a b⊙ther. ⊙r any...thing..."

"Yeah. I can do that. I'll just head down to the vault and... I guess... meet you in the ƒestivity'6lock?"

You nod, because that seems like a good enough plan, and watch her walk out of the stockblock. And, as it turns out, she left behind the sack you brought. You could totally just pick it up, take everything in it, and hop another scuttlecoach...

==>Don't do that.

Actually on second thought that is a stupid idea on so many levels.

You still take the sack because it's your sack, but you empty it out first and stuff it in your sylladex.

==>Wait in Festivityblock.

You head out to the central FESTIVITYBLOCK, sitting on top of the stairs and wringing your hands. None of this has gone in any way you expected, which to be honest isn't really that much of a surprise. You haven't really interacted with many trolls outside... well, outside your old friends, so you know that there are things you don't understand about ordinary trolls. And this purpleblood has been acting exceptionally, well, weird. You're a stranger in her hive, you were stealing from her (even if you technically never actually stole from her), and she just... decided to help you. That's not something that just happens, you know that much. There has to be some sort of angle you're missing...

...except...

...you can't help but remember the way she pulled her hand back, and, now that you think about it, there was a moment where you could swear she looked... dejected.

It's not an expression you would have thought to see on any highblood, let alone a purpleblood whose hive you invaded. And especially not in regards to you. You don't know how you feel about this whole situation, in any case, but the look on that dragon-painted face is sticking in your sponge. And she also gave you advice on what to steal, how to get the best price out of what you took, as if she knew you probably would try this again... and didn't want to stop you?

You're really perplexed by everything that's going on. But then again, purplebloods are supposed to be confusing. Sure, you always thought it was because they were murderclowns, but maybe this one is extra unpredictable for giggles.

Something about that thought doesn't... feel right, though...

"Okay! I got your caegers!"

You look over your shoulder and stand up quickly. The purpleblood is returning with a pocketfold in her hand.

==>Express your profound gratitude.

"Um... thank y⊙u f⊙r thiƺ...."

The purpleblood gives you the pocketfold with a smile. "Hey, not a 9,ro'6lem. Like I said, I have so much money I 6asically can't s9,end it ƒast enough. And, uh..." She rubs the back of her head. "Way I ƒigure, you hy9,ed yourselƒ u9 a lot to get into my hive, and that deserves some sort oƒ recognition, right?"

"I'm fine n⊙t being rec⊙gniƺed," you say quickly. "I mean, uh, I--"

"You don't want trolls 9,oking their sniƒƒ nu'6s into your 6usiness," the purpleblood offers.

"Yeƺ," you agree with a nod. "I'm a very private perƺ⊙n."

The purpleblood nods as she looks over your monochrome clothing. "Yeah, I can see that." She straightens up and clears her throat. "So, uh... yeah, there's the money and... stuƒƒ."

"Yeƺ. The m⊙ney." You step back a bit. "I'm ƺure it will be uƺeful--!"

In your awkward attempt to disengage, you entirely forgot that there were stairs behind you and managed to slip on open air. Your arms go flailing as you tilt back and for a moment you're sure you're going to smash your think pan open--

--and then you feel something grab your hand, and it takes you a second or two to realize it's the purpleblood and the expression on her face is a mix of panic and relief you didn't even know was possible.

"I guess I should have warned you a'6out the stairs," she manages with a shaky grin.

"Yeƺ," you agree without really thinking about it. Your sponge seems irrationally focused on the hand around yours--how strong it feels and how it seems gentle even for all that.

She pulls you back up to a standing position and almost puts her other hand on your shoulder, but then she seems to realize something and lets go of your hand. "Maaaaay'6e I should do the 9,olite thing and escort you out," she offers, clasping her hands behind her head. "Just so you don't ƒall down any stairs, you know?"

"If y⊙u like," you say, and you find your arms coiling around your thorax.

The two of you walk down the stairs, your strutsteps echoing against the otherwise silent walls of the vast festivityblock.

"...so, that 6ow you're wearing--"

Your hand darts to your head. Your hood is down! Is your ribbon--oh, thank gog, it's still on firmly--

"What ab⊙ut it?" you ask, maybe a little sharper then you intend.

"It's cute!" the highblood insists, holding up her hands defensively. "I mean it's cute on you!" she adds as you clutch the ribbon protectively. "Not that I want to take it or anything! Unless you don't think it's cute 6ecause then it's hideous and--no, wait, that's not what I meant, what I meant was it makes you look good and--not that you don't look good anyway, I just..."

She trails off for a moment, her cheeks flushing purple as she avoids your gaze. You are absolutely baffled by this whole event.

"Soooooooo, yeah, I'm just now realizing I never introduced myselƒ," she says, clearly pretending the last few seconds didn't happen. "My name's Yoxang Liaong."

"I'm--" you begin automatically, and then continue smoothly, "a very private perƺ⊙n."

"Oh." She nods, looking down at her hands. "Yeah, okay. That's ƒair."

The two of you arrive at the entry door to the hive, and for a moment you're both quiet.

"...ya know," Yoxang muses, "my hive is really 6ig. And... and I've got s9,are recu9,eracoons ƒrom this one time I was 9,lanning a really awesome 9,rank on another 9,ur9,le'6lood. So, like... iƒ you ever need a 9,lace to stay..."

You consider the unspoken offer for a moment. "I'll re...member that."

She smiles a little, and now that you're not terrified for your life you can kind of admit her fangs are actually kind of pretty.

"I ƺh⊙uld g⊙," you say, stepping out the door. You pause for a moment, turning around. "But, um... it waƺ niƺe t⊙ meet y⊙u, I gueƺƺ."

"And it was nice to meet you too," Yoxang replies.

The two of you look at each other for a bit longer. You're the first to turn away, breaking her gaze and sprinting down the cobblestones.

==>Story: Introduce complications.

We'll do that next chapter, okay?

Chapter Text

==>Be a source of complications.

You are now a source of complications.

A young woman rides a scuttlecoach, tapping her strut pod impatiently. Eight solar sweeps ago, she was given life, which she has used to the fullest of her ability. Perhaps it would be best to figure out what to call the owner of this fully lived life.

==>Enter Name: Snooty Snowprincess the Second

See, that's more of a reputation than an actual name. Let's give this another go, shall we?

==>Enter Name: Weisis Snechi

That will be acceptable.

Your name is Weisis Snechi and you're on your way to visit a close collaborator of yours, which would not ordinarily be a problem if your hired help was not so utterly incompetent. Unfortunately, the buffoons are bumbling about with each other and arguing over who among them is best suited to carry your luggage in a blatant attempt to gain your favor, which is to be expected as you are a member of the cobalt caste but proves without a doubt these morons did not read their contract beyond the pay they would be getting. This is unfortunately common among the trolls you hire, and is a price you tolerate for the sake of proper management.

Your interests include SINGING, GEOLOGY, and CARD GAMES, although you keep that one fairly secret and aren't exactly an expert. You're also a bit of a FORMAL DUELIST on occasion, and can twirl a rapier through an opponent like nobody's business, expertly weaving through a battle with grace and poise. Your PSIONIC POWERS help you out in this, as you've trained them to the point where you can create GRAVITY PLATTERS which let you move around in thin air. Like many bluebloods, you're also trained in various ETTIQUTTES, which allow you to appear utterly unflappable even when the blood of your opponents splatters your well-crafted clothing.

This is, unfortunately, not an uncommon occurrence for you. The cobalt caste may be one of the highbloods, but it is the lowest caste in that group and, therefore, filled with trolls scrabbling to define their worth to everyone around them, as well as suffering the amused torments of those above them and getting the brunt of ire from castes below them. You've taken a page out of the tealbloods' books, though, and made a name for yourself by networking--many trolls call you the Purveyor of Last Chances, who takes anyone not currently working out where they are and either finds them a place where they'll fit or culls them in the name of purity. You'd like to think you're the heart of refinement, but every troll you put down is a troll you couldn't find a place for in the brutal society of Alterna, and all those failures weigh on your soul in a way you don't know how to describe.

Your trolltag is RebelliousGentry and you speiaq ein a manneirr both rreifeined and weith a feirrm edge.

What will you do?

==>Dance to assert your dominance.

Yes, perhaps it would be best to remind your subordinates of your skill.

You intervene smoothly into the brawl, spinning your hand against the wrist of the one holding your luggage and pirouette-kicking back the others with an elegant twirl, matched quickly by the spin you put on the dressfold itself as you whisk it upon your own back. The watching trolls all blink as you finish your motion with a complex weave of your rapier, painting your caste mark in invisible air before sheathing your blade with a flourish. The astonishment on their faces is reward enough, but when you quirk your brow they all quickly stand to their feet and applaud, which is most amusing.

==>Exit Scuttlecoach.

You step out of the scuttlecoach, giving a discrete nod to your coach handler as your subordinates for this perigee jostle in front of you, trying to clear other trolls from your path. A frown forms on your face as the largest of them grabs a hapless pupa, and you halt his attempt to throw the young troll into the distance with your blade.

"What eixaqtly do you theinq you arre doeing?"

"Cleahring the hway fohr you, puhrincess," he sneers.

You knew training a member of the indigo caste would be difficult; they are technically your social superiors, and most trolls that pass your way have attitude problems anyway. You just did not expect to land a completely spongeless moron when you agreed to this. The troll trembling in his hand looks barely older than two sweeps!

"Ei apprreiceiate yourr einteint," you begin, pushing his arm down with your sword, "but what Ei value most eis eiffeicient maxeimeization of rreisourrces. Seimply pusheing theis one out of the way weill suffeice, theirre eis no neied to einfleiqt lasteing einjurry."

He snorts, letting the troll go and kickstarting his scramble with his strut stick. The two of you continue to lock eyes, even as you pull your blade back and rest its tip on the ground.

"Meisteirr Winche," you say dryly, "have you eiveirr qonseideirred the einteint beiheind eimpeirreial qulleings?"

"Cuhrush the hweak," he replies.

"One einteirrprreitation," you allow. "Anotheirr eis to rreimove the eileimeints that arre prreiveinteing the grrowth of the feitteist."

"Yeah." He crosses his arms. "The hweak die so the stuhrong can suhrvive."

"And how do the weiaq hampeirr the strrong?" you ask. "Eit would siem, to me, that the strrong would be morre warry of otheirr strrong, who meight taqe what eis thierrs orr qrrush theim ein battle. Orr the qrrafty, who would waeit forr the strrong to sliep beiforre qeilleing theim ein thierr rreiqupeirraqoon. Leit the weiaq squttle forr thierr sqrraps. Theirre arre grreiateirr thrreiats to handle."

What you don't say, because he's clearly not ready for it yet, is that the weak can become the strong. That there's more than one kind of strength. That you don't look at a seed and think it's worthless because it's small, you wait until the frond has grown and judge the fruit then. So many trolls are too focused on the 'killing' aspect of culling and not enough on the 'for the better' aspect, in your mind. Not enough of them consider raising others up, once their environment has been cleared of pests and parasites. Though you are quite lucky to know of a few that actually do.

"Now thein." You step forward, snapping your fingers to get your subordinates to line up as you turn around. "Ei've rreiseirrved bloqs at the loqal liesurreiheive, wheich Ei beilieve eis qalled," and you sigh internally, "'Stuff yourr Strruts', beiqause the loqal heighblood has a veirry speiceifeiq brrand of humorr. Speiaqeing of wheich, Ei am a qlose qollaborratorr weith meiss Liaong, and weill be heiadeing to heirr heive to leit heirr know Ei am ein heirr mound. Ei eixpeiqt you all to heiad to the liesurreiheive and qlaeim the bloqs Ei have rreiseirrved."

You hand your luggage off to one of the bronze caste members and, with a pointed look, give the reservation card to the indigo.

"Undeirrstand theis: Yourr beihaviorr weill be rreifleiqteing my rreiputation ein theis mound, wheich Ei have qulteivated to a heigh deigrreie. Eif Ei arrrreive at the liesurreiheive and feind eit has suffeirred..." You raise your blade and run your claws along it. "...Ei weill be queite put out."

There is a bit of wariness from most of your subordinates, though the indigo seems to snort in amusement. You don't bother trying to make things any clearer, you just sheathe your sword, turn around, and head off toward the large hive in the distance.

==>Arrive at destination.

The trip to Yoxang's hive is as relaxed as ever, with the trolls in the mound nodding amicably even as they step out of your way. It's nice to see a hivebatch where discontent is at an all-time low; griefing is unfortunately common across alternia, as you have discovered in your travels. You are fortunate enough to live in the northern regions, where very few trolls want to waste time fighting because they're too busy dealing with the climate. It's occasionally cold enough that the rain freezes on the way down and leaves the ground covered in white for days at a time. Or green, if it's acid rain--you have fond recollections of your fourth wriggling day, when you opened the door and saw your lusus squanking through an ethereal emerald field...

You shake your head as you step into Yoxang's absolutely ridiculously huge lawnring, making your way down the multicolored cobblestone path. The ivory slitherdragon resting near the front door opens his eyes briefly and, upon seeing you, raises his head to growl up at the top of the hive. It isn't long before the door bursts open and, before you can even try to make a formal greeting, you're pulled into a just-barely-not-crushing embrace by massive arms.

"Weisis! It is so good to see you, invertesister!"

"Eit eis good to seie you too," you squeak out. "Eit would be eivein beitteirr eif my beillowsaqs qould beillow!"

"Right, yeah!" Yoxang puts you down with an embarrassed smile. "Sorry, sorry, just, you know, it's 6een so long--"

"Two weipes," you deadpan.

"Really? Just two? Huh." The purpleblood leans against the doorframe. "You know, I heard this crazy theory that time 9,asses 6y ƒaster when you're actually doing something and drags on when you've got nothing to ƒill it with--"

"Ei weill admeit, Ei wouldn't be surrprreised to feind out that was the qase." You pinch your sniff nub, taking a deep breath. "Unforrtunateily, Ei qan't say Ei'm heirre meirreily forr my own amuseimeint. Theirre's some buseineiss Ei must deisquss weith you."

Yoxang sighs. "Always to the 9,oint, aren't you? Alright, come on in."

==>Get to the point.

You follow Yoxang into her hive, closing the door behind you as she takes a seat on the base of the stairs. "Ei'm surre you'rre awarre Ei've bien qiepeing ein qontaqt weith Wentir," you begin.

"I'm not sur9,rised," Yoxang admits. "Not many trolls are raised 6y the same lusus."

"Yeis, leife ein ourr heive was always a beit odd," you admit. "But... ein a good way," you add thoughtfully.

"I'd imagine so. Anyway, what's u9 with Wentir?"

"Weill, heirr squadrron heit a snag weith the planeit theiy'rre einvadeing. Apparreintly the nateives arre mageiq useirrs."

Yoxang hisses sympathetically. "Real magic? Not just 9sionics 6ut legit s9,ooky shenanigans?"

"Eit does siem to be the qase." You fold your hands behind your back. "Heirr supeirriorrs arre deisqusseing forrmeing a speiceialeist squad frrom the neixt drraft. And Ei qouldn't heilp but rreiqall theirre's a ceirrtaein meimbeirr of the gold qaste ein yourr mound who eis queite qapable weith subteirrfuge?"

"Cendir." Yoxang massages her horns. "Yeah, this is exactly what she'd love to sign u9 ƒor, es9,ecially iƒ she got to 6ring her mates9,rit and kismesis along."

"Ei'm not fameileiarr weith theim...?"

"Emrald Sustri and Neo9,eo Liotan. Emrald's a rust'6lood, she's a'6le to induce hallucinations. And Neo9,eo..." Yoxang leans back on the stairs with half a smirk. "Ƒeisty 6ronze'6lood, with one heck oƒ a 9sionic."

You tilt your head forward politely. "Eis she a meind rreiadeirr?"

"No no no, she can make ƒotonic 9,u99,ets. On their own they can't do much and shatter iƒ you hit them, 6ut she can 9,ut them over anything to make it look like anything else. She used it to im9,ersonate a seadweller a ƒew times."

"What, rreially?"

"Yeah! Even snuck into a ƒew oƒ their hives sometimes. She was caught eventually, oƒ course, 6ut the seadweller who ƒound her was so im9,ressed he only cut out her tongue."

You nod thoughtfully. "An eillusioneist, a halluceination eixpeirrt, and Cendir's own pyrroqeineiseis... the thrreie of theim would maqe a peirrfeiqt einteilleigeinoceide squad. Should Ei starrt feileing the papeirrworrq?"

"Let me talk to them ƒirst," Yoxang insists, sitting up carefully. "Neo9,eo lost her moirail recently. I'm 9,retty sure Cendir will jum9 at the chance to 6e something other than a 6attery, 6ut I don't want to make the choice ƒor them."

"Of qourrse, but theirre's a leimeited weindow of opporrtuneity heirre. Thrreie weipes, fourr at the most."

"Alright, I'll get on it."

==>Attempt to socialize.

"So... eis theirre anytheing, ah, neiw weith you?" you ask in an attempt to be polite. "Miet anybody neiw orr... anytheing?"

"Actually, yeah, kind oƒ. There was a troll I..." Yoxang pauses for a moment. "Let's say I, ah, 6um9,ed into her a ƒew nights ago. She seemed..."

She trails off for a bit, looking down at her hands as she flexes them.

"...neirrvous?" you suggest.

"Yeah. I mean, more so then the usual..." Yoxang gestures at herself. "I don't know, something a'6out her made me think she might 6e in some serious trou'6le so, you know, I gave her a 6it oƒ cash 6eƒore she scam9,ered oƒƒ."

"Do you want me to feind heirr?" you offer.

"No! No. I mean, I a99,reciate it, 6ut hearing high'6loods are looking ƒor you..." Yoxang shakes her head. "I don't think she'd inter9,ret that the right way."

"Rreight," you say, because what else can you say? You stand there awkwardly for a moment or two, trying to fish for another topic and failing utterly.

It's Yoxang who eventually figures out what to say, standing up and stretching. "Wel9. You've got a 6lock in the leisurehive to get to, iƒ I know you. May'6e I'll dro9 6y and talk with you later."

"Ei would leiqe that," you say with a smile. "Farreiweill, Yoxang. Glorry to the eimpeirre!"

"Glory to the em9,ire," Yoxang replies, and you pretend not to notice how unenthused she seems when she says it. Everyone has bad nights, after all. Little slipups can be forgiven, and the scar over your eye proves they can be learned from.

==>Discover Little Secret.

You cannot discover LITTLE SECRET because LITTLE SECRET is busy performing a death-defying stunt!

Chapter Text

==>Be the death-defying little secret.

You are now the death-defying little secret.

A young woman falls through the air, cackling maniacally as her cloak ripples in the rushing breeze. Seven solar sweeps ago she was given life, and she's risking it now for no real good reason. What sort of person would even pull a stunt like this?

==>Enter Name: Adorifying Sugar Gremlin

You're not wrong. But you're also not right. Come on, let's be real here.

==>Enter Name: Rhubii Rhoess

Definitely a name worth remembering!

Your name is Rhubii Rhoess and you have just flung yourself off the side of a skybuggy, in defiance of any and every sense of sanity you know of. Your deranged laughter shows how little you care for such minor concerns, and it's joined by the gleeful howl of the tiny barkbeast riding in the satchel strapped to your thorax. It's not like you haven't done this literally hundreds of times before, and you're absolutely probably going to do it again whenever you need to hitch a ride, because that's just how you roll.

Your interests include WEAPONRY, SWEET FOODS, and FASHION, but your mobile lifestyle means you don't get many chances to practice that last one. You're also fond of STORYTELLING, and can entertain most trolls with tales of wild adventurers from all across history. You tend to be POSITIVELY PROVOCATIVE and PROVOCATIVELY POSITIVE, teasing anybody you meet with gleeful abandon but, you know, in a nice way, you don't ever go too far like some trolls do. A few trolls who have met you think you're some sort of witch for being able to do that without getting highbloods on your case all the time. And maybe, oh geeze, maybe they're right--

Pffff, you can't even think that with a straight face! Despite all the claims of magic, the truth is you're just really good at what you do, and what you do is see things and help out. Sure, usually it's with silly observations and prodding trolls to do the right thing, but you'd like to think you're able to leave a lasting impact no matter where you go. Alternia straight-up sucks, with the burning sun and the cullings and the undead hordes and the hemospectrum and the monsters and the empire, but the thing is there are people still living on the planet, and if you can make their lives better in any little way then you've still got a job to do.

Your trolltag is GratuitousRevelry and you can'zelp juƨ‡alkiŋ faƨtbecause zere's juƨtso much zhoiŋ on all ze daŋtime!

What will you do?

==>Dance with death.

Hah, easy as huskloaf! (Which you will totally bake later.)

You whip out a thick, long staff and angle it at the rapidly approaching ground, putting your thumb over a small button on one end, and wait a few seconds to press it. The bottom of the staff spews out a stream of volatile fluid, the recoil slowing your descent just enough that you're able to flip your strut pods down and land boot-first in the lane of liquid you have just created, skidding down to the end and jumping off right before the friction sets the whole thing ablaze. You land hard enough in the dirt that your boots are put out, and your burgundy cloak flutters in the sudden hot breeze as you twirl your staff behind you.

You would have looked impossibly cool to anybody looking, but the only other creature present is the barkbeast strapped to your thorax. He borks his approval anyway.

==>Do something sensible, please!

You unstrap the barkbeast and put him down before skipping out of the field toward a nearby hivemound, humming something under your breath. The barkbeast scampers around your strut pods as you go, offering up little observations in his barkbeast language which mostly consists of, unsurprisingly, barking. Occasionally you shift a bit left or shimmy to the right, just dodging some hungry critter looking for a midnight meal; sometimes you give them a grin, or toss them a snack, and sometimes you bap them on the head with your staff and screech threateningly until they back off. A few of them don't take the hint, so you get a few free future meals.

Maybe you could have landed closer to the mound, but the entire point of your unusual method of travel is to go unnoticed. It isn't too long before you're in the territory boundaries anyway, and most of the animals that live here know not to attack a troll. You slip through the alleyways between the larger hives, idly tapping the dross coffers with your staff and listening to their reverberations; one seems especially interesting, and you hop in to examine the disposalsacs, prodding them carefully as the small barkbeast keeps watch. There's a sack that seems to lack the stench of the others, and you spray it with a little bit of volatile liquid; as the skin melts away, you gasp in glee and rip it open to get at the disposed fabrics within, stuffing them into your sylladex as quickly as you can.

Your horns, each shaped like a triad of mushrooms, rise over the edge of the dross coffer as you peer around for other trolls; with none in sight, you vault out of the dross coffer and shut it behind you, whistling as you step out into the street. The barkbeast at your strut pods gives you a bemused look, but you shrug off his concerns. Your silver goggles drift around, taking in the various people going about their night, and you nod in satisfaction as you see none of them are hunching in on themselves or shooting furtive looks around... although that one, leaning against a hive's corner by herself, does raise your eyebrows.

==>Consider lonely troll.

Beneath her slightly tattered cloak is an outfit of blacks and pale greys--and white, which you find surprising. White in troll fashion is almost strictly an accent color, maybe taking an undershirt at the most, but this vagabond seems to have hints of high class underneath her rougher outfit. You look closer, searching for something that could be there... and yep, there it is, right on the thighs of her stockings. A limeblood sign in grey, the Camini if you guess correctly. Trolls that hide their blood color aren't common, but most of them do use limeblood signs; it's kind of hard for a caste that got mass culled long ago to protest anybody using their personal alphabet.

When you look at her face, though, you can't help but sigh. She's hiding it well, the worry and fear, beneath a mask of poise, but your trained gaze notices how she runs her hand along her swept-back horns, how her eyes flick up to her bow every so often, how she watches anybody that passes too close. Nobody, and you mean nobody, should have to be so afraid to be seen. You give your barkbeast companion a look; he glances at the girl, whines, then looks back up at you and nods.

==>Approach lonely troll.

You whistle casually as you stride up, giving her a smile and a nod when she glances up at you. She frowns for a moment, looking around furtively, so you lean against the other corner of the hive and start overdramatically examining your staff. Your barkbeast waddles on past you, looking up at the strange troll and whimpering. Surprisingly enough, the strange troll does not seem amused at the attention; if anything, she seems rather frightened by it, pressing into the wall as she stares down at him.

"Zwei!" you call. "Come here boy!"

The small barkbeast borks, scampering over to you and putting his forepaws on your strut hinge.

"Sorry aboutmy lusus," you call over. "He can be a bitovereager when itcomeƨto new friends."

"It'ƺ... fine," the troll says, giving you a careful look.

You smile again, leaning casually into the hive wall. "So... I'm a bitof a drifter, butI drop by zis hivemound pre‡y regularly. My moirail lives here, you see."

"Ah," says the troll.

"Zhe's super friendly," you continue casually. "Practically readyto help anytroll zatdrops by." You start sidling along the wall, at a nonthreatening pace.

"I ƺee," says the troll.

"Course," you add, "Zat's kinda relianton people askiŋ herto help. Me? I'm sortof a meddler, meddliŋ introll's affairs meddlesomely when I feel a needto meddle. Have I mentioned I meddle sometimes? Izappens."

"Y⊙u have eƺta...bliƺhed thiƺ, yeƺ."

"It's juƨtzis urge I zhet, when I see atroll introuble." You stop sidling, staying just out of reach of her as you extend your arm. "I've zho‡o see if I can help in any way. It's weird, I know. But..."

The troll looks at your hand, then at your genuinely hopeful expression. She seems to consider for a few moments, before sighing and taking it with her own.

==>Introduce yourself to your new friend.

"I'm Rhubii Rhoess," you say, shaking her hand firmly.

"Blakei Beld⊙n," the troll replies, looking you over. "Y⊙u're a ruƺtbl⊙⊙d?"

"Well, zhee," you tilt your head and put a finger to your cheekblade, "I'm weariŋ a red cloak, I've zhotze Ariƨtsign printed on it, I don'zave a hive of my own..."

The other troll manages a dry smile, which you encourage with a returning smirk of your own.

"Anyway, enough aboutme! Whataboutyou? You zhota placeto sleep for ze day?"

"I've f⊙und a g⊙⊙d ƺp⊙t," Blakei replies, though her hand tenses in yours.

You put your other hand to your brow, sighing as you sort through some thoughts. "Letme zhuess, you'vetucked yourself away in a place where ze sun can'tzhetyou andtrolls won'tfind you?"

"Well... yeƺ."

"You forgotze sopor slime."

She takes her hand out of yours. "I can ƺtand a few t⊙rp⊙r...wraithƺ."

"A few, sure, butday after day, wipe after wipe, itdrains atatroll. I can'‡ell you how manytimes I've seen a bum juƨt... runniŋ on automatic." You see the way her face falls and put a hand on her shoulder. "Course, I've figured outyou juƨtneedto puta bitof slime around ze base of your horns every night."

"That w⊙rkƺ?"

"Yep! Keeps zetorpor wraizs rightout! Of course," you admit, "it's notas zhood as a full recuperacoon, buta zhood day's sleep is a zhood ƨtar‡o a night."

You let Blakei think over your words, watching as she considers what to do with that information. "That'ƺ g⊙⊙d t⊙ kn⊙w, I ƺupp⊙ƺe..."

"Hey, us hobos have zho‡o ƨticktogezer," you point out. "I mean, even in a mound like zis--and you could nozave picked a be‡er moundto be hiveless in--zere are ziŋs moƨ‡rolls won'tdo for random zhirls on ze ƨtreet."

Her eyes turn toward toward the denser part of the mound, and beyond, landing on a particularly large hive in the distance. "M⊙ƺt tr⊙llƺ..."

==>Troll the troll.

"Oh, you've metYoxaŋ I see!" You laugh as her eyes snap back to you, delighting in the chance to toy with your new friend. "Yeah, zhe's siŋlehandedly ze reason zis hivebatch is so nice. Did zhe catch youtryiŋto ƨteal from her?"

A flash of panic covers her face. "H⊙w did y⊙u--?!"

"Samzies!" You wrap an arm around her shoulders, waving your hand through the air as you paint your picture with words. "Zere I was, atiny zree-sweep-old crawliŋ zrough ze window and zinkiŋ I'd made outscar-free, butzen I fell outof ze upper level and who zhould catch me butze very purpleblood who I was ƨtealiŋ from? I don'tzink I needtotell you, I completely freaked out, kicked her in ze face andtriedto scamper, buuuuuzer lusus caughtme before I'd made i‡welve ƨteps."

"And ƺhe de...ƺided t⊙ ƺpare y⊙u?"

"Oh, more zan zat." You wait a few moments, letting her hang on your words for a bit. "You know earlier, when I said my moirail lived here?"

Blakei stares at you for a moment, then looks back at the massive hive in the distance, then back at you. "Y⊙u... have t⊙ be bluffing," she finally decides.

"I could be," you allow. "Buteven if I am, you know I'm notlyiŋ when I say Yoxaŋ is ze sweeteƨzighblood you'll ever meet."

"That'ƺ n⊙t a high p⊙le t⊙ vault," Blakei mutters darkly.

You shrug, giving her shoulder a final shake before you take your hand off. "Maybe not. Ƨtill, zhe's zhotlots of spare recuperacoons."

"Ʒ⊙ ƺhe t⊙ld me."

"In her big, echoiŋ hive," you add as you start to walk off.

"I've been inƺide."

"Ze hive zhe lives in by herself," you shoot over your shoulder.

"Well... that'ƺ... n⊙rmal, right?"

"Aaaaaaaall aloooooooooone..."

Zwei howls mournfully at your strut pods.

Blakei blinks for a moment, before crossing her arms. "Y⊙u're being ridic...ul⊙uƺ."

You turn around, twirling your staff with a grin and a bow. "Well, even if I am, does itmake anyziŋ I say any lesstrue?"

Her eyes dart back up to the massive hive in the distance, then to her hands. She gives a long sigh of resignation, before picking up her strut pods and rushing to join you.

==>Head to Yoxang's hive.

Sure, but it'll take a while to get there. You'll probably arrive next chapter at the earliest.

Chapter Text

==>Be the suspicious girl.

You are now Blakei Beldon.

You know that Rhubii's having you on. It's not like she's trying to be subtle--if anything, she's deliberately being blatant about how unsubtle she's being. 'Big echoiŋ hive', right, like a highblood couldn't just conscript trolls to hang around all day. And even if Yoxang didn't do that, and from what you know of her she might actually not do that, there'd still be plenty of hangers-on who would have no problem living in her shadow. She has plenty of recuperacoons, she said so herself, and there's space for all kinds of lusii; sure you didn't see anybody else while you were trying to rob her or hear any growls or squawks from lusii or, come to think of it, notice any signs of trolls living like dents in the loungeplank or used nutrition plateaus, and actually there did seem to be a layer of dust in some of the blocks you poked through...

You know you have never swallowed any huge rocks in your life because you are not a moron, but your digestion bladder apparently disagrees.

Well, even if Yoxang really does waste all that space by living alone, the idea that Rhubii is her moirail is... preposterous. Rustbloods only live a couple dozen sweeps, and highbloods can live for millennia--and Rhubii is a hiveless drifter on top of that. Sure, you believe the quadrants transcend caste, but even then there are just far too many obstacles for this to work.

Which begs the question, why are you even following this flimflammer? She's lying. She has to be. It's all some trick. But here you are, putting one strut pod after another as she leads you down the path to Yoxang's hive with a jaunty tune whistling from her lips, and try as you might you can't quite bring yourself to turn away.

The sun will be rising soon. Yeah. That's why. You can't leave because the closest shelter is Yoxang's hive itself. Yeah.

--but then why d|d you fo//ow |n the f|rst p/ace you dry$ponged maggot--

You snap your gaze over your shoulder, eying the grass for a figure you know isn't there and convincing yourself, yeah, it's just you and Rhubii. And, you add as you look forward again, her miniature barkbeast, looking up at you with a curious expression.

You step around him carefully, catching up to Rhubii. "Iƺ y⊙ur luƺuƺ a wriggler ⊙r...?"

"Zwei? No, he's always been zatsize." She offers a sardonic smile. "I know it's weird, buzaviŋ a fun-size lusus means he can come wiz me on my Alternia-tro‡iŋ adventures."

==>Actually arrive at Yoxang's hive.

Zwei barks eagerly as you approach the entryway to the hive, running up to the slitherdragon resting beside it. The creature opens a single eye and huffs fondly, tilting their muzzle so the barkbeast can clamber on and start running about on their snout.

"Yeah, Zwei andTaidye are zhreatpals," Rhubii informs you casually, striding by as you stare at the scene. "It's almoƨtlike I've zhota backup lusus!" She raps on the door with her staff, then kicks it open before you can stop her. "Oh Yoxaaaaaaŋ!"

You try to grab her before she can walk into the hive of a friggin' highblood without permission is she completely insane?! but she's three steps ahead before you can catch her and you watch helplessly as she just plants her staff and vaults the holdpoles with a giggle. You're ready to back out of this mad scheme, but when you turn around the slitherdragon is lying across the path and that damned miniature barkbeast is on their face, grinning at you and panting and you're pretty sure that means he's laughing at you and--

"Oh! It's you!"

You turn back around, tensing up a bit as Yoxang walks across the floor of the festivityblock. Reluctantly, though, you force yourself to relax; she didn't hurt you the last time you were here so maybe she won't now, and maybe she'll even be merciful toward the nutjob of a rustblood that is even now prowling on the holdpoles behind her and you do not like the look of that smile--

"Wow, sorry, ƒor a moment there, you sounded like my moirail," Yoxang continues. "Not that I'm not ha99,y to see you! It's just that it's 6een a while since I've talked to her and I don't know where she is.... Although, that is her lusus on Taidye's ƒace there." She puts on a playful grin, even as she crosses her arms. "Zweeeeeei? Where's Rhu'6ii?"

And apparently that's the cue Rhubii's been waiting for because she lunges at Yoxang with a roar and before the highblood can even turn around fully the rustblood is on her, clawing at her shoulders as she scrabbles down Yoxang's arm and bites at her bracers, and Yoxang gives an overly enthusiastic "Ha!" and grabs at her but Rhubii's already sprung across her thorax and is screech-laughing as she runs rampant over the highblood's body and you can't tear your eyes away from the spectacle you don't know how it will end you just know that there is no way the crazy rustblood is going to live through this--

--and Yoxang grabs Rhubii by the head and pries her off herself, dangling her over the ground.

==>Save your new friend!

You swallow, but pull a sword from your sylladex. "Put. Her. D⊙wn."

Yoxang turns toward you with a startled look, but before she can say anything Rhubii gasps dramatically. "Oh my! A nobletroll haz cometo rescue me from mine peril!" She puts a hand to her nugbone, somehow swooning while still dangling in the grasp of the highblood. "Prizee, fair maiden, whatmanner of recompense doz zy honor demand for zis effort? I am buta lowly vagrant, wiz li‡leto mine name, butzhouldƨtzou demand any manner from me I zhall assuredly do mine beƨ‡o presentsuch upon zy firm requeƨt!"

Both you and Yoxang stare at her for a moment.

"She... did tell you she's my moirail, right?" Yoxang asks.

"Y⊙u're ƺtill h⊙lding her in the air," you point out, not lowering your sword.

"Oh don'tworry," Rhubii assures you, "zis is doiŋ wonders for my poƨture pole."

Yoxang rolls her eyes, very deliberately lowering her to the ground and letting her go. "Yeah, sorry, this is just how she likes to greet me ƒor some reason. The jum9,ing ƒrom shadows and attacking thing. I'd never actually hurt her."

"Yep!" Rhubii agrees, grinning as she jabs Yoxang in the thorax. "Zis one's juƨta biiiiiiiiig softie. Wouldn'tlaƨ‡wo nights on ze ƨtreet."

"Hey now, I'm not that hel9,less. I ƒight monsters!"

"Psssszh, anytroll can fightmonƨters. It's zhe‡iŋ food and supplies zatyou are completelyterrible at."

"Oh, really?"

"If I wentinto your mealblock rightnow, whatwould I find Yoxaŋ? Can youtell me zat?"

Yoxang opens her mouth to reply, but apparently can't find anything to say. After a moment, she turns back to you. "So, yeah. My moirail is nuts. She hasn't 6een too much oƒ a 6other, has she?"

You belatedly realize you're still holding your sword up, and lower it quickly. "Uh, well, n⊙, ƺhe'ƺ, uh--"

"I've been a peƨt!" Rhubii decrees brightly.

"N⊙, y⊙u really--"

"~I've been ze beƨtpeƨt!~" she sings. "~Putmeto zeteƨt, I'll never letyou reƨt, I'm ze beƨtsortof peƨtyou'll find from eaƨ‡o weƨt!~"

You give up and shrug helplessly at Yoxang. "Ʒhe'ƺ been... mildly ann⊙ying."

"HEY!"

==>Enter Hive.

You put your sword back in your sylladex and step inside. "Ʒ⊙, uh... y⊙u ƺaid ƺ⊙mething ab⊙ut... having ƺpare recuperac⊙⊙nƺ?"

"Yeah! I mean, they're mostly in one oƒ the stock'6locks, 6ut I can drag one out and set u9 a res9,ite'6lock ƒor you." Yoxang rubs the back of her head. "I've got... more 6locks then I know what to do with, iƒ I'm honest."

This shouldn't surprise you and, you find, it doesn't, although for some reason you feel like you should be surprised. Maybe it has something to do with that rock you never ate. Seriously, how does it keep getting into your digestion bladder? You'd seek out an omnimedicalizer if, you know, you weren't avoiding bloodhives for your own safety.

"Yeah, why don'tyoutwo setzatup?" says Rhubii brightly. "Me and Zwei will zho clean up whatever disaƨter Yoxaŋ has made my respiteblock into."

You're not sure how her barkbeast managed to get onto her head without you noticing, but there he is, and when he sees you staring at him he barks happily.

"I made it a disaster?" Yoxang scoffs. "You're the one that's always scattering all those ƒa'6rics and machine 9,arts around!"

"You say sca‡er, I say artiƨtically arraŋe!" Rhubii is already halfway up the stairs, twirling her staff whimsically. "Honeƨtly, laƨ‡ime I came here you'd mixedtogezer ze lugnuts and ze wiŋnuts, do you know juƨzow muchtrouble I had sortiŋ zem back outagain?"

Yoxang throws up a hand at her, before turning toward you. "Moirails, am I right?"

"I w⊙uldn't kn⊙w," you reply, and you realize you're rubbing your arm. "But ƺhe d⊙eƺ ƺeem like quite a handful," you add.

"You should have seen her 6eƒore we met," Yoxang says, walking up the stairs and gesturing for you to follow. "Wouldn't go a wi9,e without trying to 6ite my ƒingers oƒƒ. I've still got some oƒ the scars."

She shows you her hand, and you can indeed see faint fang marks in the grey chitin. A few things drip into place in your sponge. "Ʒhe waƺ... feral, waƺn't ƺhe?"

"Ye9. And she still kinda is," Yoxang admits. "Sure, she can talk and dress herselƒ and s9,end money and do all those 'civilized' things, 6ut iƒ you don't get into the a'6lution'6lock 6eƒore her you'd 6etter 6e 9,re9,ared to deal with wet ƒloors."

A highblood adopting a feral... no wonder Yoxang was so different. Especially if they wound up as moirails. And here you were, trying to steal from her and pointing a sword at her like a stripetailed squeakbeast, and she's still willing to put up with you.

You stop in the doorway, looking at your own hand for a moment, before continuing on with a sigh.

==>Apologize for your rude behavior.

"Liƺten... ab⊙ut earlier, with the ƺw⊙rd and all..."

Yoxang holds up a hand, cutting you off. "You were 9,rotecting Rhu'6ii. I get it, really, and I a99,reciate it--even iƒ it wasn't really necessary."

"Well, it might n⊙t have been but--"

"Did you have that sword 6ack when you were trying to steal ƒrom me?"

You bite your lip. "Well... yeƺ."

"And you didn't 9,ull it out then." Yoxang turns around, looking you in the eyes. "You know what that tells me? You won't do anything to deƒend yourselƒ, 6ut you'll risk the ire oƒ a high'6lood to kee9 the innocent saƒe."

"Um." You look away, crossing your arms. "I... d⊙n't kn⊙w if I'd ƺee it that way..."

"Well, then I'll just have to do my 6est to convince you," Yoxang says firmly, "starting tomorrow. Today, I think I'll just get you settled in." She turns back around, counting to herself. "Three, ƒour, ƒive... ah! Here's the 6lock with the recu9,eracoons."

She steps in and you can hear her humming for a bet, alongside the schlurping sound of recuperacoons being moved about. Then she's out again, one slung over her shoulder, and she grins at you. "So I'm going to 9,ut you in the same hall as Rhu'6ii, okay? It'll 6e easier ƒor everyone that way, I think."

"That ƺ⊙undƺ g⊙⊙d," you reply, and you follow her back to the festivityblock. You notice her lusus has already coiled inside and shut the door, and they look up at you with a low mrrrrrr of interest.

"It's ƒine, Taidye, this is..." Yoxang pauses, and turns around. "You know, I don't think I ever got your name."

"It'ƺ... Blakei Beld⊙n," you admit.

She smiles softly. "Blakei. I like it." You could swear her fangs are gleaming.

"It'ƺ juƺt a name," you mutter, but you're smiling nonetheless.

Yoxang clears her throat, turning back to the slitherdragon. "Blakei here is staying the day, I'm just setting u9 a res9,ite'6lock ƒor her."

The slitherdragon looks at you for a moment longer, before nodding and curling up on the ground floor.

"He's always 6een looking out ƒor me," Yoxang admits, continuing on. "But he'd do that ƒor any troll. Taught me to do the same."

You nod, walking after her. You have to admit, that is a lesson you wish more trolls would learn.

==>Set up respiteblock.

You cannot set up a respiteblock because this is not your hive!

Chapter Text

==>Be the troll that can set up a respiteblock.

You are now Yoxang Liaong.

You walk into a block that's mostly empty, aside from a bookshelf with four books and a fabric coffer. "I, uh, don't usually have guests 6esides Rhu'6ii," you admit to Blakei awkwardly. "I could get you more ƒurniture iƒ you like."

"It'ƺ fine, I'm uƺed t⊙ living... frugally." Blakei doesn't seem to want to meet your eyes.

"...iƒ you're sure," you say. "I mean, I'm stu9,id rich, it really wouldn't--"

"I'm fine."

"...okay." You rub the back of your head for a moment. "So, uh, where do you want me to 9,ut this?"

"Huh? ⊙h, the recuperac⊙⊙n..." Blakei glances around the block, before pointing at a corner. "Maybe there?"

You notice that the corner is close to the door, close enough that she could push it shut if it opened unexpectedly. You don't know if that's why she picked that corner, but given her (admittedly very reasonable) paranoia you feel that pretending not to notice while oh so incidentally setting the primary aperture close to the door is probably the best way to make her comfortable. Once you've down the recuperacoon, you pop off the aperture membrane with a punch, catching it on the rebound and twirling it on your finger.

"Well that'ƺ... ⊙ne way t⊙ ⊙pen a c⊙⊙n," Blakei says.

"Yeeeeeeeu9," you drawl, "anyol' 9,ur9,le'6lood can smash a hole through a wall, 6ut it takes a matter oƒ skill to a99,ly just the right amount oƒ ƒorce to 9,o9 oƒƒ a mem'6rane."

"Practiƺe ⊙n a l⊙t ⊙f fayg⊙, did y⊙u?" she asks, a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Oh, hundreds oƒ 6ottles," you assure her, tossing the membrane to your other hand. "Pinea99,le mostly."

"Well, that explainƺ y⊙ur hair."

"Oh, you noticed!" you say, as though you're at all surprised.

"I'm ƺurpriƺed h⊙w th⊙r⊙ugh y⊙u were, m⊙ƺt tr⊙llƺ juƺt g⊙ f⊙r a patch ⊙f dye at the m⊙ƺt."

"What can I say? My ƒa'6ulous locks deserve the very 6est!"

You throw out your hands with a grin on those words, hiding the slight flick you give to the membrane, and not reacting at all as it flops through the air and lands splat-dab between your horns. Blakei actually giggles at that--just a little bit, she tries to hide it behind her hand, but you can see the amusement in her expression. As much as you hate what the clown church actually stands for, you've got to admit their training comes in handy from time to time.

You stretch casually, pretending to be oblivious to your new pinnacle covering. "Wel9, the meal'6lock is downstairs, ninth hall ƒrom the leƒt, second door to the right. The a'6lution'6lock is the third door down the hall, and the 6acku9 a'6lution'6lock in case Rhu'6ii ƒloods that one is the ƒiƒth door down the hall. S9,eaking oƒ, I 6etter go check on her, her room's the sixth door. Am I ƒorgetting anything?"

"Y⊙u've uh..." She taps her head. "G⊙t a little ƺ⊙mething ⊙n, uh..."

"Huh?" You reach up, pulling the membrane off and mugging an absolutely ridiculous shocked expression. "Oh wow, I totally did not notice that! Wow, thanks, it would have 6een really em'6arrassing to walk into Rhu'6ii's 6lock with that on my head."

"I'm ƺure it w⊙uld." The smile doesn't leave her face, even as she glances away. "Well... g⊙⊙dday, Y⊙xang."

"Goodday! Have 9,leasant dreams!" You give her a smile and shut the door.

==>Check on your crazy moirail.

You open an ablutionblock door and toss the membrane in a dross coffer before heading down the hall and poking your head into Rhubii's respiteblock. "Oh come on--you haven't 6een here ten minutes!"

"And you putall ze differentkinds of fabricstogezer and now I'm haviŋto sortzem all again, Yoxaŋ!"

A groan escapes your lips as you step in, careful not to disturb Rhubii's oh-so-precious piles. "I sorted them by color, I thought you'd like that."

"It's notcolor zatma‡ers, I can always dye ze fabrics, it's zetype of fabric! You need differentƨtitchwork for smooz versus zick and zen zere's ze absorption principleƨto zink about, Yoxaŋ do you know how embarrassiŋ itwould beto make an outergarmentoutof undergarments, do you even zhezow close you wereto zat--?"

"Ƒine, ƒine! I'm the one who made a mistake, and you tossing all this junk all over the ƒloor is somehow entirely reasona'6le."

"Zhlad we agree," Rhubii says primly, turning away from one stack and looking around before nodding in satisfaction. "Zis will do. Whatdid you zink of Blakei?"

"Well, hmm." You rub your jaw nub thoughtfully. "She was understanda'6ly jum9,y when I ƒirst met her, and she's very... 9,rivate, I think. But she did try to save you ƒrom me--"

"--very heroic--"

"--and, well, she was willing to a9,ologize ƒor the misunderstanding. Plus I got her to laugh."

Rhubii actually applauds at that. "Usiŋ your eviltrainiŋ for ze sake of zhood! I knew zere was a reason I made you my moirail!"

"Because I let you raid my thermal hull?"

"Za‡oo."

That gets you to roll your eyes with a fond smile. "Anyway, all in all, I think she's a good troll who's ƒallen on really 6ad times." You glance over your shoulder before leaning in close. "She doesn't... know, does she?"

Rhubii lowers her silver goggles for a moment so you can see the flat look she's giving you. "Do you really zink I would be zatƨtupid, Yoxaŋ?"

"Not on 9,ur9,ose, but--"

"No, no, Blakei doesn'tknow," she assures you, lifting her goggles back up. "Zhe's waytoo absorbed in her own problemsto notice, anyway."

==>Worry about hiveguest.

"What do you... mean 6y that?" you ask hesitantly.

Rhubii sighs. "I don'tknow ze details, butBlakei... Zhe's notjumpy around you because you're a purpleblood--well, notjuƨtbecause you're a purpleblood. Zhe was on alertwhen I firƨtsaw her in ze mound. And..." She twiddles her fingers for a moment, glancing away. "I feel zhe's been hurt. Big, recent. I'm notentirely sure, because you don'tjuƨtjump righ‡o 'hey let'stalk aboutyourtrauma new buddypal,' but..."

She trails off, sitting down and letting Zwei crawl into her lap.

You glance back down the hall, biting your lip. "Should I... do anything ƒor her?"

Rhubii shakes her head as she strokes her lusus thoughtfully. "No, no. Rightnow zhe's in ze 'find zhelter and lick my wounds' mindset. Beƨtyou can do rightnow is lezer know zis is a safe placeto reƨt, and zat's notsomeziŋ you can juƨtsay. No demands, juƨtoffers, lezer realize zhe's safe now on her ownterms. Once zhe ƨtartsto open up a li‡le, and zhe will, zen we can ƨtar‡o help her."

"Iƒ you're sure," you say, because you aren't sure at all, somebody in your hive needs help and even if that's just listening you want to help, but Blakei is skittish right now and you thought it was just because you're a purpleblood but it's apparently something more then that--

"I'm sure," Rhubii says confidently. "Itworked wiz me, it'll work wiz her." And as far as she's concerned, that's that.

You rub your horns, taking a steadying breath. "Okay. Okay. Just be o9,en without 6eing 9,ushy. I can do that."

==>Ask what your crazy moirail's been up to.

"So what have you 6een u9 to?" you ask, leaning against the doorframe. "Besides ƒinding new ƒriends to 6ring home, I mean."

"Oh, ze usual. Huntiŋ wild beaƨts, raidiŋ dross coffers, tauntiŋ murderhappytrolls, dodgiŋ swarms of imperial drones--"

"Okay, let me reƒrase: What have you 6een u9 to that won't make my 6lood9,usher ƒreeze in a 9,anic?"

Rhubii smirks up at you. "I learned a couple new recipes, picked up a few new books, provided some zhu‡er-trazh wisdomto a few loƨ‡rolls--zere was zis one couple, keptarguiŋ whezer zey were matesprits or kismesises, buti‡urns outzey were actually perfectfor zeir friendto auspiƨticise and once he jumped on zatitall worked out."

"See, that? That's stuƒƒ I like to hear."

"Oooooooh?" Rhubii says, and you realize your mistake. "I had no idea you were so fascinated by romance!"

"This isn't a'6out the quadrants, it's a'6out you actually having a good time without risking your liƒe for a thrill!"

"Whatcan I say? Me and daŋer are so close, we're practically matesprits!"

"More like kismesises," you grumble.

"Mmmm..." Rhubii tilts her head. "No, no I can'tsay I hate daŋer nearly enoughto make us kismesises. I don'teven hate daŋer platonically."

"Well I don't like you ƒlirting so much with danger, it's... it's dangerous!"

"Are youtryiŋto auspiƨticise me and daŋer?"

You open your mouth, pause, and put your face in your hands. "What even is this conversation?"

"...I missed youtoo," Rhubii admits, her smirk fading into a more gentle smile. "And I was makiŋ up ze ƨtuff aboutze imperial drones. Sorry."

"It's... well, it's not okay," you admit, "'6ecause they're the im9,erial drones and you don't joke a'6out getting chased 6y them, 6ut... it's good to have you 6ack."

"So what's chaŋed around here?" she asks. "I mean, besides Blakeitryiŋto rob you."

"She tell you a'6out that?"

"Notin so many words..."

You give her an amused snort. "Well, there was a migration ƒrom the ƒorest last 9,erigee, had to ƒight oƒƒ a ƒew monsters that wandered into the mound. Yatsuh Daishi's hive got a smashed wall, 6ut Cocoda let him slee9 in her hive till it got 9,atched. Oh, and Weisis dro99,ed 6y a cou9,le nights ago, ti99,ed me oƒƒ a'6out a good o99,ortunity ƒor Cendir... you know, oƒƒ9,lanet."

"Right." Rhubii nods quietly. "Well, zat's zhood for her, I zhuess. Zhetake it?"

"I haven't had the chance to tell her. I've 6een a little 6usy 9,re9,aring ƒor the eighth 9,erigee's eve cele'6ration."

"...Well, you zhouldtell hertomorrow," Rhubii decides. "No pointin pu‡iŋ itoff."

"Rhu'6ii--"

"Itis whatitis." Her hands run through Zwei's fur. "We focus on whatwe can chaŋe. Ozerwise it... it'll all betoo much."

You step carefully around the piles of fabric, kneeling down and wrapping Rhubii in a hug. She leans her head against your thorax, and even though you can't see her eyes through her silver goggles you're pretty sure she's trying her hardest to keep her dismay fluid from staining your clothes. You wish she wouldn't do that, but you know why she does.

"...Oh. MY ZHOSH. Itis late." She draws a deep breath and forces a giggle. "Itis so late, ze sun will be risiŋ in a few minutes!"

"Ye9," you say with a grin, "time ƒor all good little trolls to 6e in their recu9,eracoons."

"Right." She picks up Zwei and puts him aside before pushing you back a bit and standing. "So let's zhetyouto your respiteblock, youŋ lady!"

"Me? I was talking a'6out you!"

"You said 'zhood li‡letrolls,' and I zink we've pre‡y zoroughly eƨtablizhed I'm nota zhoodtroll."

"Uh, when was this esta'6lished?"

Rhubii puts her hands on her hips and quirks an eyebrow. "Zhee, I don'tknow, maybe ze sixty-fifztime I bityou?"

"Pssh, you were a 9,u9,a," you reply with a dismissive wave. "Every 9,u9,a's a 6it oƒ a 6rat."

"Well, I'm ƨtill a brat!" Rhubii declares proudly. "Zatmeans I am nota zhood li‡letroll, unlike you!"

"Well, I'm not a 'little' troll!" you counter grandly, standing up to your full height and putting your hands on your hips. "Look at me, I'm huge!"

"Mmmm... I've seen bigger."

"What--no you haven't." You look down at her. "You... haven't right? You're 9,ulling my ƒrond?"

Rhubii smiles her devious 'I'm notzhoiŋto answer because watchiŋ you squirm is very entertainiŋ' smile.

"...Well, I'm 6igger than you! Ergo, I'm not a 'good little troll.'"

"Itwould appear we are atan impasse," Rhubii muses.

"That we are," you agree.

"Fortunately, I have a mezod of breakiŋ impasses," she continues. "Zwei, sic her!"

==>Attempt to resist the barkbeast attack.

You fail to attempt to resist the barkbeast attack.

Zwei pounces on your face before you can even react, knocking you out of the room and flat on your clown-pantsed strut padding. By the time you've pulled him off and stood up, Rhubii is already behind you and prodding you with her staff, marching you down the hall. "You are zhe‡iŋ a zhood day's sleep so you can wake up earlytomorrow and zhetyour zhe‡iŋs done, missy!"

"Rhu'6ii, come on, I can do this myselƒ--"

"Ututut! I've been away for fartoo loŋ, and I don'tknow whatwhacked up schedule you've been keepiŋ yourself on butnow zatI'm back I'm zhoiŋto do my darndeƨ‡o putyou back ontrack!"

"Oh come on, Rhu'6ii, that was one time and it totally wasn't my ƒault--"

"No backtalk, youŋ missy! You are zhoiŋto zhoto your respiteblock, you are zhoiŋtotake off your clozes, you are zhoiŋto crawl into your recuperacoon, and you are zhoiŋto zhet! Some! Sleep!"

You roll your eyes as you're marched down the hall to your respiteblock. "You know, some trolls slee9 with their clothes on."

"Well sometrolls don'zave a coazandƨtitched by zeir moirail! Do you know how hard itisto wazh sopor slime outof cloziŋ?"

"No, do you?"

"No and I don'twan‡o! Now zhetƨtrippiŋ!"

You laugh. "Okay, Rhu'6ii, usually only a mates9,rit or a kismesis says that."

Rhubii stares up at you blankly.

"Because oƒ... you know... 9,ails."

Rhubii stares up at you blankly.

"See, a moirail asking is sort oƒ, uh, moirallegiance is one oƒ the conciliatory quadrants, not the concu9,iscent..."

Rhubii stares up at you blankly.

You sigh in exasperation. "Come on, Rhu'6ii, I know you were ƒeral 6ut you've got to get what I'm saying."

"I do, I juƨtdon'tsee whatzis hasto do wiz you zhe‡iŋ into your recuperacoon."

"...You know what? I am tired, and I don't know iƒ I can ex9,lain this while I'm tired." You step into your respiteblock. "I'm just going to shut this door and get ready ƒor slee9, okay?"

"You had be‡er," Rhubii says firmly.

You shut the door and lean against it, shaking your head. She's a real nutjob, but you couldn't imagine life without Rhubii as your moirail.

==>Get ready for bed.

What the heck is a "6ed"?

==>Get ready to go to sleep.

You get ready to go to sleep. And then you go to sleep.

Chapter Text

==>Be the first troll to wake up.

You are now Rhubii Rhoess.

You blearily blink open your eyes and streeeeeetch across the ground while making a series of chirruping noises that Yoxang once said made you sound like an adorable snake-rodent. Then you snatch Zwei by the scruff of his neck, skittering on all fours to the ablutionblock and kicking the door shut behind you before dropping him in the ablution trap. In your half-awake state, you paw at the dials of the trap and cautiously lick at a bit of the stream that comes out, tasting it for impurities before sidling in next to your lusus and curling up to wait for the pool to rise around you. The warm water soaks into your chitin, slowly bringing you fully into the land of the cognizant, and you remember what the scouring block is for and how to use it. Fifteen minutes and a frankly criminal amount of suds later, you and Zwei stop splashing each other and emerge from your ablution, shaking yourselves dry.

You belatedly remember to turn off the dials, mostly because of the thin layer of liquid that wraps around your strut pods. Zwei helpfully pulls out absorption planes from the cabinet and placing them around the floor to soak up the excess liquid; you take some red dye out and apply it to the fading tips of your hair, once again turning them a wonderful scarlet color. It would be nice if trolls had any natural hair color besides black but, unfortunately, you only know of one that does, and she keeps the details secret. Then you pull out a toothscrubber, polish your fangs, and turn to go--only for Zwei to step between you and the door before pointing his nose at the ablutionrobe hanging nearby. You sigh and put it on, quickly darting across the hall and grabbing your goggles before scampering down to the mealblock.

It's not hard to locate the ingredients scattered around the cabinets and in the thermal hull, though you have to snort when you see the collection of microheatbox meals Yoxang has 'hidden' behind the ova. Honestly, you're the feral one here! How is it that you know how to actually make a decent breakfast while she relies on 'Pre-crisped Grubloaf Sandwiches' to get through the day?! You used to eat your prey raw, and sometimes while they were still alive, while Yoxang was on top of an entire society waiting on her hand and friggin' nub! She had her whole life to master the mealblock, it just doesn't make any sense!

Well, at least you're here now, and you can start making some actually decent grubcakes. You turn on the crisprange and set up some blending basins.

You hear faint strutsteps from the hallway and turn to see Blakei stepping in. "⊙h hell⊙ Rhubii ⊙hmyg⊙g uh, w⊙w, uh--" She turns her head away rapidly, backing out of the block and putting her hands over her face.

==>Greet your new friend!

"Oh hey, Blakei!" you say brightly, politely ignoring her weird antics. "I'm juƨtzhe‡iŋ ƨtarted on some zhrubcakes. It'll be a few minutes."

"Yeah, I... I gueƺƺ it w⊙uld be.... Aren't y⊙u a little... c⊙ld...?"

"...no?" You pour a few ingredients into a basin. "Why would I be?"

"Y⊙u're kind ⊙f... well..." She carefully rubs a horn without turning toward you. "....Y⊙u d⊙ kn⊙w what naked meanƺ, right?"

"I'm weariŋ an ablution robe," you point out with a frown. "And my zhoggles."

"Right..." Blakei holds up a finger, still not quite looking at you. "Maybe y⊙u might... want t⊙ tie the belt ⊙f the r⊙be? In fr⊙nt ⊙f y⊙u?"

You obediently tie the belt tight with a roll of your eyes. "You're juƨtlike Yoxaŋ, really. Zis is zhoiŋto make izardertotake off later, you know."

""Take ⊙ff?"

"To putmy usual outfiton, doy."

"...Right." Blakei gives you a cautious look and, apparently satisfied you are no longer offending her incomprehensible troll sensibilities, steps fully into the mealblock. "Ʒ⊙... y⊙u kn⊙w h⊙w t⊙ c⊙⊙k," she offers, clearly trying to start a conversation.

"Cook, bake, zhrill, barbacue, yep, I know howto heatfoodto zhetze beƨ‡aƨte." You blend together the last of the ingredients you set out, beating the lumps out of the mixture. "I mean, it's notlike it's a difficultlife skillto learn, juƨtkeep your hands off ze flame and keep ze food from burniŋ. Notzatzere's actually any flame here. Atleaƨt, I don't... zink zere is?" You grab a fliphandle and tap the crisprange with it thoughtfully. "How do zese ziŋs work, anyway?"

"There'ƺ a metal c⊙il underneath the ƺurfaƺe," Blakei explains. "Electriƺity runƺ thr⊙ugh it, but the metal reƺiƺtƺ the current, ƺ⊙ the heat buildƺ up."

"So I'm cookiŋ wiz lightniŋ," you muse, pouring the batter onto the crisprange. "Zat's pre‡y neat." You turn around to see Blakei staring at the crisprange in shock. "What?"

"I th⊙ught y⊙u w⊙uld uƺe heatpanƺ," she manages. "I mean, making grubcakeƺ directly ⊙n the criƺprange iƺ... a b⊙ld ch⊙iƺe."

"Well, I'm a boldtroll. Besides, zis way ze heatzhetƨto zem faƨter. And I can scrape off ze scraps for Zwei."

Blakei seems like she wants to say something to that, but she apparently decides that whatever she wants to say isn't really worth getting worked up about, so she sits down at the table and lets her eyes wander around the room.

==>Discuss accomodations.

"So, you zheta zhood day's sleep?" you ask, watching the grubcakes bubble with intense, predatory focus.

"...yeƺ."

"And I'm zhuessiŋ you enjoyed your ablution?"

Blakei doesn't reply for a moment.

"Wait." You turn around. "Zis is one of zose ziŋs I'm notsupposedto juƨtask about, isn'tit?"

"Well... yeƺ." Blakei runs a hand along her horn. "But... I underƺtand that y⊙u were feral and... might make a few ƺlip-upƺ."

"It's always so hardto figure outwha‡rolls will and will no‡alk about," you admit, turning back to the grubcakes. "And it's noteven ze same ziŋ for everytroll, you know zat? Sometrolls don'twan‡otalk aboutquadrants, sometrolls don'twan‡otalk aboutze empire, sometrolls have sordid paƨts zey aren'twilliŋto discuss, sometrolls will flatoutignore you if youtalk aboutyourself, and zen zere's all ze ƨtuff zateverybody supposedly already knows and so nobodytalks aboutitand zey all actlike you're ze dryspoŋe for askiŋ queƨtions aboutitand it's juƨtso fruƨtratiŋ sometimes, you know?"

"...it d⊙eƺ ƺ⊙und like it w⊙uld be... pr⊙blematic," Blakei admits.

"Yeah, itcan be. ButYoxaŋ..." You narrow your eyes and flip the grubcakes over rapidly, before relaxing. "Yoxaŋ alwayƨtrieƨto underƨtand why I don'tunderƨtand. Notjuƨt'oh, you were feral of course you don'tzhetit,' zhe alwayƨtrieƨto follow my chain of logic and figure ouzowto... link itupto whatzhe'ƨtryiŋto communicate. Zhe doesn'talways succeed, butzhetries."

"Ʒhe ƺ⊙undƺ like a pretty... pretty g⊙⊙d m⊙irail."

"Yeah. Especially since zhe hadto explain whatmoirallegiance was. Zhetriedtwelve differentways before itclicked."

Blakei hums thoughtfully. "Y⊙u kn⊙w... I've had a bit ⊙f a faƺƺinati⊙n with the quadrantƺ f⊙r m⊙ƺt ⊙f my life. It w⊙uld be intereƺting t⊙ hear a perƺpective fr⊙m ƺ⊙meb⊙dy wh⊙... waƺn't raiƺed with them?"

"Weeeeeeeeell, if you're zatintereƨted, I zink I've zhota specialtreatfor you." You turn toward her, making a show of looking around as though somebody secret could pop out at any moment, before leaning in with a grin. "I don'tzink ze quadrants are actually romantic."

==>Explain shocking statement.

"What," says Blakei flatly.

"Well, notwhatI'd call romantic," you clarify. "Notinherently. I mean, when I zink of romance, it's sortof... a zheƨture. Takiŋ your matespri‡o fancy mealhives, writiŋ scaziŋ poetry for your kismesis, watchiŋ movies wiz your moirail, you know? It's juƨtzatso manytrolls focus on ze zhape of ze relationzhip zatzey don'tcare aboutze actual core, ze, ze bond. You can buy all ze colorfronds for your matesprityou like, butwhatreally ma‡ers is zetrue... interlockiŋ. Intermeaniŋ. If zat's notzere, zen you're juƨtzrowiŋ fronds atatroll for a chanceto fill a pail."

"...I... ƺupp⊙ƺe I can ƺee what y⊙u mean," Blakei admits hesitantly. "But r⊙manƺe iƺ ƺupp⊙ƺed t⊙ be ab⊙ut finding that relati⊙nƺhip. The b⊙nd. Finding it and nurturing it."

"Maybe. ButI lived outin ze wild and I saw plenty of animals fill zeir quadrants wizoutneediŋ all ze fancy junktrolls use." You count off on your fingers as you flip the grubcakes onto a nutrition plateau. "Matesprits, obviously, and a bunch of kismesises, butalso moirails and auspitices. I knowtrolls zink zey're ze moƨtintelligentcreatures on ze planetbecause zey build all zese fancy hives and all, butanimals have an intelligencetoo."

"Well, yeƺ," Blakei agrees. "That'ƺ... the entire reaƺ⊙n ⊙ur ƺ⊙ƺiety letƺ luƺii raiƺe pupa."

"I know, right?" You turn off the crisprange, petting Zwei as you put the nutrition plateau on the table. "Sure, I was raised by wild animals, buzow is zatany differentfrom ordinarytrolls zhe‡iŋ a lusus?!"

"...iƺn't... Ʒwei y⊙ur luƺuƺ?"

Whoops! You didn't mean to let that slip! Luckily your goggles keep Blakei from noticing your moment of panic as you transition into smoothly playing it off. "He found me in ze wilds, loŋ before I bumped into Yoxaŋ. You know how some lusii will juƨzelptrolls after zeir own wigglers zhetculled?"

"I gueƺƺ... and if y⊙u were really in the wild that y⊙ung, y⊙ur ⊙riginal luƺuƺ muƺt have died..."

Blakei sounds so sad at the thought that you feel a little guilty. "Yeah... I wizh I could remember zem. I mean, sometimes I zhetflazhes in my dreams..."

She takes a breath and puts a hand on yours. "I'm ƺure they cared f⊙r y⊙u a great deal."

And you feel your meal tunnel go dry as she buys the lie completely.

==>Quick! Distract yourself from your moral relativism induced remorse!

You pull your hand back, maybe a little too quickly. "AAAAAAAANYway, look, uh, Yoxaŋ's zhoiŋto be, you know, comiŋ down soon. Yeah. For breakfaƨt! ButI zho‡a warn you, zhe is notan eveniŋtroll." You turn back to the crisprange quickly, using the fliphandle to scrape off the bits of batter still stuck to it and tossing the scraps to Zwei. "Yep, before zhe zhets her coffee zhe's zhoiŋto be zhambliŋ like a zhadowdropper, so don'‡ryto eŋage her until zen."

"...⊙kay." Blakei seems a bit more withdrawn now.

"Honeƨtly, I don'tknow how zhe survives wizoutme," you continue to ramble on in a desperate attempt to paper over the awkwardness with casual domestic cheer. "I mean obviously zhe haƨto know howto use ze coffeemaker, right? Buzow does zhe do zatif zhe's notfully awake until zhe does?" You open the thermal hull and, with a glance at the contents, sigh dramatically. "Zhe doesn'teven havetree blood! Zhe zhotall ze iŋredientƨto make zhrubcakes and zhe forgo‡o zhe‡ree blood!" With a flourish, you pull a bottle of tree blood from your sylladex and turn around.

Blakei is nodding along, staring at the food.

"...Oh. Right. Normaltrolls need personal nutrition plateaus." You sigh, grabbing another one and putting it in front of her. "Sorry. Feral. Forgot."

"It'ƺ ⊙kay."

You pinch your lip between your fangs. Your attempts to make things normal are clearly not working.

==>Stop attempting to make things normal.

With a sigh, you sit down in the chair next to her. "I... Look, you weretryiŋto... comfortme. When you said... whatyou said. But, um... itjuƨtfeels weird, you know? I don'teven remember zem and... whatI'm sayiŋ is, you didn'tdo anyziŋ wroŋ. Okay?" You carefully take her hand, taking a deep breath. "I'm... sorry, for makiŋ you feel like... you always say ze wroŋ ziŋ?"

Blakei shakes her head. "Rhubii, y⊙u... y⊙u d⊙n't need t⊙ ap⊙...l⊙giƺe f⊙r that."

"Well, maybe not," you reply, "but... oh, I don'tknow, I don'twantyou feeliŋ like you're ƨteppiŋ on ovahusks around me. I reacted badly. Zat's on me. It's noziŋ you did, it's me."

"...I... ƺupp⊙ƺe..."

You take your next step very, very carefully. "You really don'tneedto worry about... makiŋ me upset. I mean, I've zhrugged off a lot."

She finally looks at you, and a faint smile comes to her face. "Y⊙u have, haven't y⊙u."

"Yep." You pull your hand back with a matching smile. "I've seen Yoxaŋ's soporhair. Truly a horror from Zhl'bgolyb herself."

Blakei rolls her eyes. "It can't be that bad."

And it's at that moment that Yoxang meanders through the door, the golden bramble thicket known as her hair tangled around her horns and sprawled over her bare thorax, and Blakei stares at the lumbering apparition as she blearily mixes coffee and a splash of faygo into a mug with a cheery 'Honk for the Empress!' printed on it.

You casually put a few grubcakes on her plate while she's gaping. "Well, judge for yourself, I zhuess." Then you take one for yourself, squirt some tree blood on it, and stuff it in your mouth.

==>Get ready for work.

You cannot get ready for work as you are not legally employed in any business!

Chapter Text

==>Be a legally employed troll.

You cannot be a legally employed troll because all adult trolls are shipped off Alternia!

==>Be a troll intern.

You are now Weisis Snechi.

You hum gently as the musclepounder works her strictly metaphorical magic on your exoskeleton, letting the scent of the waxpyres relax your body and your mind. Too much stress is unhealthy for anybody, and it's an unfortunate truth that trolls are put under a lot of stress. This is admittedly mostly because trolls are incredibly stressful creatures, either by nature or in order to survive the pressures of your society. You find it mildly baffling that quality leisurehives aren't more common across the planet; even in a culture that puts emphasis on strength and brutality, there should be room for the concept of regenerative relaxation beyond simply sleeping every day. It's not like this is a weakness, more... an indulgence.

Then again, there will always be idiots who think the two are the same thing.

There is a knock at the door, followed by a familiar voice. "Weisis? Is it alright iƒ I come in?"

You glance at the musclepounder, who shrugs casually, before turning back toward the door. "Of qourrse, qlownteissa Yoxang. Ei always apprreiceiate yourr qompany."

Yoxang shakes her head as she enters the block. "I kee9 telling you, Weisis, there's no need ƒor titles."

"Beitwien us, peirrhaps, but eit eis beitteirr to qiep up the habeit than to be aqqused of eimprroprriety. We would not want to seit a poorr eixample forr ourr suborrdeinateis."

She gives you a baffled look. "Weisis, I'm wearing cargo shorts with 9,ur9,le clu'6s 9,rinted on them."

"A nobly orrnameinted and useiful masteirrpiece of qlotheing beifeitteing yourr heigh qaste," you reply without a trace of irony.

Yoxang rolls her eyes, walking around the table to sit in front of you. "Or it could 6e something outrageous I wear 6ecause I'm a clown."

You frown, momentarily confused. "Eisn't that what Ei just saeid?"

"...you know what? Never mind. I actually came to check in on you, see iƒ you're doing alright."

"Yourr hospeitaleity eis, as eiveirr, both geinueineily apprreiceiated and einteirreily eigrreigious. Ei am queite weill at the momeint."

"At the moment?"

You sigh briefly. "One of my qurrrreint qlients eis a touch... einfleixeible ein hes meindseit. He eis also a meimbeirr of the eindeigo qaste, so my atteimpts to rreifeine heim have bien someiwhat stymeied by hes own arrrrogance."

Yoxang laughs a little. "Wow. That has got to 6e incredi'6ly stressƒul ƒor you, Weisis."

"Veirry much so," you agree. "Ei'm queite grrateiful you undeirrstand my trroubleis.

"Oh, I understand your 9,ro'6lem very well, 6elieve me."

You look at Yoxang's grin, and you know that there's a gag somewhere that you've missed somehow. Glancing back at the musclepounder, you see a similar smile that is quickly hidden behind a mask of professionalism when she notices you looking at her. More than likely you're the butt of the joke but, seeing as the purple caste is well known for entertaining the masses, you deign not to complain and presume Yoxang is simply smoothing out intercaste relations, as is her right and responsibility.

==>Explain your attempts to refine client.

"Ein orrdeirr to change, the qlient must feirrst be rreiceipteive to the posseibeileity of change," you begin. "That's geineirrally the prreimarry eissue weith most of my qlients, but a feiw talqs weith theim usually opeins up einough trrust forr me to starrt theim on the rreight path. But Cahdin has bien rreimarrqably frrustrrateing ein hes weilleing rreifusal to put forrth eifforrt. Ei don't theinq he eivein has any eideia just how much eis rreideing on theis."

"Your re9,utation?" Yoxang asks.

You scoff. "Ei've got qontaqts aqrross the planeit and heimospeiqtrrum, as weill as a feiw out ein space. One faeilurre weill not topple my poseition... though eit may leimeit the numbeirr of trrolls weilleing to aqceipt my seirrveices forr a teime. No," you continue, "eit's hes fate that's on the leine."

"How did he wind u9 coming to you anyway?"

"Apparreintly he deiceided prrofeiteing frrom loweirr qastes wasn't einough forr someibody of hes supposed qaleibeirr and atteimpted to eindeinturre the seirrveitude of anotheirr eindeigo, who happeined to be moeirraeils weith a meimbeirr of the violeit qaste. Ei was rreiqommeinded," you grouse, "as an alteirrnateive to a harrsheirr rreitrreibution, seince the seiadweilleirr ein queistion had eindeirreiqtly beineifeited frrom one of my prriorr qontrraqts."

Yoxang rubs her jaw nub thoughtfully, before snapping her claws. "Lieren! It was Lieren, right, Norava's mates9,rit?"

"Yeis, eit was Lieren who made the rreiqommeindation," you admit.

"Well, I guess I'm 9,artially res9,onsi'6le," Yoxang says, leaning back. "Since I acce9,ted Norava as my legislacerator, aƒter all."

You shake your head, hmming a bit as the musclepounder works out a particularly tough knot in your back. "You arre not rreisponseible forr Lieren's choeice."

"But I am 6asically res9,onsi'6le ƒor saving Norava ƒrom an early culling," Yoxang points out. "Well, 6oth oƒ us are res9,onsi'6le. And since Lieren wouldn't have remem'6ered you iƒ it hadn't 6een ƒor me, and wouldn't have given Cahdin the o9,tion oƒ working with you otherwise, I sort oƒ 9,artially caused this."

"You may have heilped starrt the chaein of eiveints, but--"

"All I'm saying is iƒ you need a 6it oƒ hel9 with this guy, I'd 6e willing to lend a hand."

You sigh, but can't help a small smile. "Ei do apprreiceiate the offeirr. And eif Ei theinq of any way you qan heilp, Ei weill leit you know and we qan deisquss eit frrom theirre."

"Sure." Yoxang cracks her knuckles. "May'6e I can convince him to 6e less stu'66orn."

==>Continue to dunk on this moron.

"Cahdin has the seilf-awarreineiss of a pupa trryeing to geit ein weith the hierreiss," you grumble. "He theinqs he qan geit whateiveirr he wants just beiqause of hes qaste!"

"Which isn't anything new ƒor high'6loods," Yoxang points out.

You half-flop a hand in what passes for a wave in your relaxed state. "Yeis, Ei know too many trrolls eixploeit thierr qaste weithout theinqeing of the meianeing of thierr poseition. But whein Ei asqed Cahdin what he gave to the eimpeirre, he siemed to theinq that just hes meirre prreiseince would be geift einough forr any squadrron. Not eivein hes muscleis, just 'Oh, that Cahdin, he's heirre,' swooneing aqrross the rranqs and he'd stand theirre, sweiateing VEIQTORRY frrom hes veirry cheitein orr someitheing eiqually rreideiqulous."

Yoxang snort-giggles behind her hand. "Oh my gog. Are you ƒor real?"

"The trroll eis utteirrly einqompeiteint as a dueileist! Ei seit heim up agaeinst a feiw qombat drroeids and he just qlubbed at theim wheile theiy rran thrrough advanced taqteiqs. And whein Ei shut theim off rreimoteily, he thought Ei'd geivein up and that he'd won!"

"Really."

"And thein he brragged about eit! To my face! And eimpleied Ei wasn't as sqeilled a qombatant as heim beiqause of my eiye sqarr."

"Oh, wow. So he got under your chitin, then."

"Ei wouldn't say that," you demur. "Ei ded seit heim down and turrn the andrroeids up to maxeimum, beiforre goeing out einto the field and deistrroyeing theim utteirrly."

"Was he im9,ressed?"

"He left the viewing block ten minutes in," you snarl. "When I found him he was in the mealblock, eating some of my hard-earned high cuisine, and he had the gall to claim I was a boring fighter!"

Yoxang quirks an eyebrow. "So... egotistical and stu9,id?"

"Eif he doeisn't show any seign of qontrreibuteing to society soon, Ei meight just have to qull heim," you grumble. And there's more than mere aggravation to your tone, there's... something else, that you didn't mean to let slip through, and when you realize it did you quickly rally with "And that weill be a majorr blaq marrq on my otheirrweise neiarrly peirrfeiqt rreiqorrd!"

You lower your head slightly, pretending that it's just a reaction to the musclepounder, so you can eye Yoxang's expression without being obvious about it. She looks somewhat somber, but also contemplative, and she's examining you with the same sort of eyes you've seen her look at half-finished puzzles with.

"...what are your standards ƒor culling trolls, anyway?" she eventually asks.

"The Balance of Beiarreing, Blood, and Blade."

==>Explain baffling poetry.

"That's not a ƒrase I've heard 6efore," Yoxang admits.

You hum thoughtfully. "How to eixplaein... teichneiqally speiaqeing, Ei qould eind the leife of thes musqleipoundeirr at any teime." You gesture toward the troll behind you, who has gone very still. "But theirre's no rreiason forr heirr to deie, and no moteivation forr me to qeill heirr, so eit's not someitheing Ei'm goeing to do."

"Some trolls don't need a reason to kill," Yoxang points out.

"Qorrrreiqtion: Some trrolls don't neied a good rreiason to qeill," you counter. "Trrolls that qeill usually say 'Ei was angrry' orr 'Ei nieded to teist my neiw sworrd on someione.' And as forr the trroll who dies, theiy'll geive eiqually stuped eixquseis. 'Theiy weirre ein my way,' 'Ei deidn't leiqe thierr face,' what have you."

"And you... look ƒor good excuses?"

"Forr good rreiasons, and forr a good beindeing beitwien the rreiasons." You notice the musclepounder still hasn't moved and sigh. "Forr einstance, eivein eif we qonseideirr faeileing to do what you weirre paed forr a good rreiason forr someibody to die--"

The musclepounder takes the hint and quickly resumes her task.

"--theirre's no good rreiason forr me to qeill thes trroll," you finish. "And honeistly, faeileing to do what you weirre paed forr eis only rreially a good rreiason to deie eif what you weirre paed forr was someitheing qrreiteiqal, leiqe deileiveirreing supplies to a heiveibatch ein neied orr someitheing leiqe that."

Yoxang frowns. "Okay, so... you need a good reason to 6e the one that kills some'6ody that has a good reason they need to die?"

"And Ei must qonseideirr what eimpaqt that qeilleing weill have," you add. "Eiveirry deiath eis, by naturre, the eindeing of one einflueince on the futurre. Eif that einflueince weirre prrobleimateiq, leiqe some rreibeil rraeiseing an arrmy agaeinst the eimpeirre, thein eindeing eit would be a poseiteive affaeirr, but eif that einflueince weirre poseiteive, orr eivein neiutrral, eindeing eit meight have a neigateive eiffeiqt. And morre thein eindeing one einflueince, the aqt of qeilleing affeiqts the qeilleirr. Not just eimotionally, trrolls geit used to that queiqly, but ein the seinse of poteinteial, of what we qan seie ourrseilves doeing and what we weill neiveirr do agaein. Eiveirry qeilleing, and eiveirry deiath, has an eiffeiqt on the futurre."

You spread your hands slightly. "Ei do not qull trrolls leightly; Ei qonseideirr the eimpaqt thierr eixeisteince has and what eimpaqt eindeing theim would have. The Blade: the qeilleirr, and thierr rreiason forr qeilleing. The Blood: the one who dies, and why theiy deied. The Beiarreing: the futurres that the aqtion changeis. Theiy all have to feit, not just the seituation, but eiach otheirr. Theiy must be ein balance, matcheing up to standarrds both of my own and of the worrld as a whole. Eif all thrreie aspeiqts arre not to my sateisfaqtion, Ei looq forr alteirrnateiveis, but eif the eileimeints do aleign..."

Yoxang nods slowly. "...That's a very in-de9,th consideration."

"Weill, one must qonseideirr why one aqts as theiy do eif theiy arre eiveirr to eimprrove theimseilveis."

"Yeah, think a'6out your 6elieƒs and why you 6elieve them. You told me that one when we ƒirst met."

You smile fondly at the memory. "Ei ded, deidn't Ei? And Ei do hope that adveice heilped you."

"Oh, more than you know, Weisis. May'6e more than you will ever know."

There's a sorrow to Yoxang's statement you can't quite understand, but before you can consider it the door slams open and Cahdin swaggers in. "Hright, Hi think Hi've hwaited hlong henough Snechi! Hi get that you've got the hots for me--"

"Ei do not have the hots forr you," you drone flatly.

"--but let's be hreal, Hi've halhways been destined for biggeuhr and betteuhr things, hand this hlittle client contuhract hof yours his holding me back. Hespecially since you'hre just hlazing back hehre getting pounded."

Oh great, he's being one of those idiots. You've got to do something to get things under control.

==>Convince him to stay.

"You qnow someitheing, Cahdin, peirrhaps Ei have bien a beit deismeisseive of you," you say smoothly. "You've bien putteing a noted amount of eifforrt einto thes buseineiss rreilationsheip, and Ei have thus farr not bien able to uphold my eind of the barrgaein. Maybe you deiseirrve a rreiwarrd, rreight Yoxang?"

"Oh, he deƒinitely deserves something," Yoxang replies casually, standing up and dusting off her knees.

Cahdin backs up a bit as he belatedly realizes she's there. "Hwell, suhre. Yeah, ha hrehward. Hlike money hor something--"

"Money? Nah, money's just a thing," Yoxang drawls. "I know! Weisis is getting a muscle9,ounding, you deserve one too!"

"Suhre, suhre, Hi'll just go to hanotheuhr hroom hand--"

"Oh, but all the otheirr musqleipoundeirrs must be oqqupeied," you point out in a carefully crafted tone of regret. "Thes liesurreiheive eis queite popularr."

"Well iƒ they can't do it, I will!" Yoxang declares, and you don't know how she manages to audibly and threateningly pop her chug column without losing her grin but it's worth it to see Cahdin's eyes go wide.

"Yeah, thanks but, huh, you puhrobably have mohre himpohrtant things to do--"

"No9,e!" Yoxang marches over to him and puts a friendly hand on his shoulder. "Course, there aren't any s9,are ta'6les here... oh, I know!"

She spins him around, lifts him up by the shoulders, and slams him into a wall hard enough to embed him in it.

"Now I can give you a muscle9,ounding without you lying down!" Her hand curls into a fist, a fang-filled grin on her face. "I mean, I've never done it 6eƒore, 6ut how hard could it 6e?"

You hum and relax, enjoying the sensation of trained hands on your back, scented waxpyres wafting over your sniff nubs, and Cahdin's whimpers echoing into your hear canals.

Chapter Text

==>Be a nicer troll!

You are now Rhubii Rhoess.

==>Weisis Snechi: Be a nicer troll!

You cannot give orders to any character except the one you are currently!

==>Be Weisis.

You cannot switch characters more than once per chapter!

==>Find Weisis.

You decide to find Yoxang's friend, who you've heard is in mound but have never met in person, which is something you have been intending to do for a while now. You check in on Blakei, who has occupied herself with some books she's gathered from around the hive, then head out to the hivemound with a spring in your step and a swish to your staff. It's a good night, you think, for a walk, especially here; it's one of the few places on Alternia you don't have to worry about finding a new dead body every wipe.

A few miles in, though, you hear a deep thrumming sound approaching. It carries an intonation of danger, and yet the familiarity brings a smile to your face. You put your staff away and spin around, churring a response as low as your voice will go.

The troll you are facing stalks forward, her lightning-shaped horns framing wild, spiky hair. "Zo... you're baϟ again."

"Yes." You slink toward her, smile widening to show your fangs. "And I see you're aƨtame as ever."

She hisses, spreading her claws. "Don't thinϟ that zivilization haz dulled my edge, Rhoezz. I ϟan ztill zhred you in minutez."

"Minutes?" You tilt your head, raising a finger to the side of your lips as you look her up and down. "I suppose you have been le‡iŋ yourself zho, Kylrie."

The eager expression is the only warning you have before the troll is upon you, but it's warning enough for you to have your own claws scraping up her arm as she rakes at your thorax. The two of you tumble and tossle down the strutborder, clawing and biting and, somehow, not leaving a scratch on each other even as you screech and snarl and yowl like beasts. Every time you knock her off her strut pods she slams you a short distance away with a derisive growl, and every time she manages to top you you slip out of her grasp with a taunting chitter. It's only at the corner of the street that she at last heavily pins your shoulders to the ground, her pink skirt straddling your heaving grub scars as she leans in with a sibilant hiss, fangs gleaming inches away from your sniff nub. The two of you stare at each other, her into your stoic silver goggles and you into her dangerous teal eyes.

And then, as one, you both burst into giggles.

The troll slips off you and offers you a hand, pulling you up into a vicious embrace that you return with equal ferocity. "I've mizzed you zo muϟh, Rhubii! Why do you have to be away for perigeez on end?"

"Come on, Norava, you know I can'tbe pinned down."

She leans back and smirks at you. "Really? Then what happened five zeϟondz ago?"

"I letyou win," you reply with a flick of your hair.

"Really."

"Outof pity."

"Ahuh."

"You're really off your zhame, I zoughtyou could use a li‡le pick-me-up."

She's not buying it, you know she's not buying it, and she knows you know she's not buying it, but Norava lets it and you go with a roll of her eyes. "Zure, Rhubii."

==>Engage in conversation.

"Zo, how many hivez did you wreϟ thiz time?"

"I can safely say zatno hives were harmed by my own actions," you reply, smooth as silk.

"Zo you annoyed trollz enough that they damaged hivez inztead of you," Norava muses.

"Zese accusations are baseless and boriŋ, let'ƨtalk aboutsomeziŋ else."

"Huh." She crosses her arms. "Uzually it taϟez four or five jabz before you ϟhange the zubjeϟt. Zomething muzt really be itϟhing your thinϟ pan."

"If you really muƨtknow, I'm lookiŋ for one Weisis Snechi. I heard zhe's in mound, and I figured I mightas well find outwhatze big deal is."

"And you're not azϟing Yoxang to introduze you two... whyyyyyy?"

"Oh come on, Norava, we're notjoined atze horn! I mean, do youtell your moirail everyziŋ you do?"

Norava quirks a brow, unimpressed.

"Well... do you?" you repeat, with a touch more force.

"Why don't you want Yoxang to ϟnow you're meeting Weiziz?"

You groan. "You were feraltoo, you know how overprotective zhe can zhetsometimes."

"Nah," Norava dismisses breezily, "zhe'z only liϟe that with you. With me zhe waz more exazperated." You can't help but level a flat look at her. She snickers a bit, before turning and waving for you to follow. "Ϟome on, Weiziz iz at the zϟhoolhive."

==>Inquire as to Weisis's objective.

"Why is zhe atze schoolhive?" you ask as you catch up to Norava.

"Weiziz haz thiz whole zϟhpiel about bluebloodz--oh, zorry, the 'Ϟolbat Ϟazte'--hold a deep rezponzibility for ϟreating the ϟultural future of Alternia," she explains. "I'm honeztly not zure where zhe piϟed it up, but zhe'z all about invezting in the wigglerz of today beϟauze they'll beϟome the ϟonϟuererz of tomorrow. Zo zhe'z zhowing the pupae how to ϟhooze and maintain a good ztrife deϟ, the advantagez and dizadvantagez of different abztrata, thingz liϟe that."

You hum thoughtfully. "On ze one hand I've never needed a ƨtrife specibus, I've juƨtfoughtwiz whatever's on hand or made my own weapon. ButI'm also kind of a prodigy wiz zat, and I can zhezow haviŋ a ƨtructured frameworkto learn weapon use can be helpful..."

"And zhowing the pupae zword-zwitϟhing triϟz iz alwayz ϟool," Norava points out.

You roll your eyes with a grin. "Yeah, when zey're only a couple sweeps old you can impress'em wiz anyziŋ."

"Liϟe you wouldn't be imprezzed az well."

"Psszh, what? Me? Impressed by a zhleamiŋ well-maintained bladetwirliŋ in ze eleganzands of an expertin her form as zhe wields itwiz poise and zhrace broughtby sweeps of carefultrainiŋ zataccentuates ze smooz form of her ƨtrutƨticks which propel her zrough ze daŋerous dance of life and deaz zatis nightly life on Alternia and raises her head above ze dizhonorable callousness of her peerƨto zhuidetrollkindto a zhrander and hopefully more underƨtandiŋ future?"

Norava stops and stares at you.

"...Yeah, no, I'm notimpressed," you finish with the confident dismissiveness of somebody who is really convincing.

Norava is still staring at you.

"Besides, I've never mezer," you point out. "How can I be impressed wiz somebody I've never met?"

Norava has narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"I mean, sure, I've seen a few pictures of her on Yoxaŋ's Chi‡r, and maaaaaybe a video on Zhrubtube... ortwo... possibly six." You glance skyward as you roll your hand. "And I might, sortof, have done some research after I keptrunniŋ into former clients of hers zatseemedto all be zhoodtrolls? Especially when I kind of realized you were one of zem, and... uh... my pointis: Zhe may have a ƨtellar reputation, butI haven'tmezer, so I am zhoiŋ in wizoutany biases in any way whatsoever, clean writeboard. Okay?"

"...That'z probably a good thing," Norava says finally. "Her reputation drawz a lot of attention."

"Of course itdoes."

"Liϟe zeriouzly," she adds as she starts walking again, "Weiziz haz zoooooo many zuitorz trying for every zingle one of her ϟuadrantz, zomething liϟe a dozen every perigee."

"Zhe, uh... zhe does, huh?"

"Ooooooh yeeeeeeez, auzpitizez, ϟizmezizez, moirailz..." Norava doesn't quite glance over her shoulder. "...matezpritz..."

"Well, zen, it's a zhood ziŋ I juƨtwan‡o see whatzhe's like in person and have no ozer motivations," you say.

"None?"

"None."

"At all?"

"At. All."

"Whatzoever?"

"None atall whatsoever in any way zhape or form."

"Ahuh..."

==>Elaborate on your entirely innocent intentions.

"Besides," you add casually, "even in ze purely hypozetical scenario where I mighzave wantedto fill a quadrantwiz Weisis, itwould be rude--no, notjuƨtrude, downrightabominable for meto juƨtjumpto itatze zhet-go! We'd needtimeto zhe‡o know each ozer, andto figure outwhatboz of us would wantoutof ze relationzhip, and... my pointis, rightnow I juƨtwan‡o make friends wiz zis amaziŋtroll. Supposedly amaziŋtroll. Wiz no ulterior motives."

Norava's hum indicates that she doesn't believe you at all but feels it would be more entertaining to pretend to believe you just to watch you continue to fumble about like a freshly-pupated troll going through the proving trials blindfolded. It's remarkable how much she can communicate in just one simple resonance of her primary wind tunnel. You are simultaneously quite impressed and incredibly annoyed.

Well if she's going to be like that, you'll turn it around with ease. "So, how's ze legilaceration business zese days?"

"IT'Z ZO BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!" Norava grinds out. "All that really ever happenz in thiz hivemound iz funding and zoning debatez. There'z no rebelz, no robberiez, and no mazz murdererz! The mozt interezting thing going on iz the prezept pruning." She sees your confusion and rolls her eyes. "Baziϟally we go through the old lawbooϟz and find anything that hazn't been enforzed or uzed in a hundred zweepz, then we drag the filez up to Yoxang every wipe zo zhe ϟan offizially delegizlate whatever onez zhe thinϟz are outdated."

"Zat... actually sounds pre‡y useful," you point out.

"Uzeful? Yez. Fun? No! It'z paperworϟ, paperworϟ, paperworϟ!" Norava clenches her fists. "The ϟind of troll that'z a real problem izn't going to ϟare about the law! I zhould be out there ϟhazing luzuz banditz or whatever!"

"I'm sure your habitof brazenly chargiŋ into any situation hammer swiŋiŋ is a perfectfitfortrackiŋ down ne'erdowells who lurk in ze zhadows and corruption of society," you reply sympathetically.

She shoots a glare at you. You smirk right back.

The two of you finally arrive at the schoolhive, and according to the clock the pupae are set to come out any minute now. This assumption is corroborated by the menagerie of lusii gathered in the lawnring, some scaling the flagpole to keep away from a few of the larger creatures pacing around. You glance around, taking a seat on one of the public loungeplanks, and settle in to wait as Norava sits down next to you.

"...zere's seriously no daŋerous crime in zis hivemound?" you ask.

"Well, there'z a few ϟazez of overly enthuziaztiϟ pitϟh flirting," Norava replies. "And the uzual brawlz and duelz, don't get me wrong. But there'z no... there'z nothing I need to ztep in for." She sighs. "Zometimez I get to fight zome of the monzterz from the forezt but..." She trails off and waves a hand vaguely.

You wring your hands together.

"...not that thiz hivemound izn't inϟredible," she adds quickly. "It'z juzt... I want to do zomething, you ϟnow? Really zinϟ my fangz into zomething meaningful. Ezpezially if it meanz proteϟting thiz plaze."

"No, yeah, I zhotzat."

==>Give Norava something meaningful to do.

You once again consider just telling Norava the truth, but with her boisterous personality you're not sure she could keep your secret. So you swallow back your words, hum for a moment or two, before hitting on an idea. "Maybe you can, uh, help Yoxaŋ wiz her preparation for ze eighz perigee's eve celebration? Zhe's been really overworked."

"I don't ϟnow..."

"Well, somebody haƨto handle diƨtribution of ze sweets," you wheedle. "Or organize ze Spectre Ƨtruggle, or carve ze Visages Of Ze Loƨt, really, zere's a lotzatneedƨto be done."

"Hmmm." Norava nods slowly. "Yeah... I ϟould definitely help with zome of that..."

Before the conversation can continue, the bell of the schoolhive rings and a stream of young trolls flows out of the doors, some talking in small groups while others just head straight for their lusii. You've always wondered what it would have been like if you had gone to a schoolhive, although you kind of suspect that being taught by lecturedrones is not at all comparable to the personal mentorship Yoxang gave you. From the gleeful chatter of the pupae, though, you wonder if the Special Guest Visits would have made up for the long-winded monotone speeches about the importance of the empire and its various components...

...nnnnno, actually, you don't think it would have.

Nevertheless, the sudden eager whispering and the wave of youngsters backing away from the door do draw your attention to Weisis as she finally emerges, twirling her sword once or twice for the youngsters with a light and beautifully fanged smirk before sheathing it dramatically. Her horns exhibit the ornate branching almost exclusive to her caste, each resembling the head of a masterwork candycorn trident; the one on the right has silver filigree embossed into it, while the one on the left rests over a single long ponytail braided with white lace and ribbon. The chitin of her skin is almost unmarred, save for the single graceful scar over cracking the right side of her face, and you could almost swear she's reflecting the moonlight. Also her dress is pretty fancy but at this point you see that Norava is grinning at you so you're going to pretend you weren't just staring at her for the last four minutes.

"No ulterior motivez, huh?"

"Juƨtwan‡o meezer," you confirm. "Ze factzatzhe is pre‡y is an immutable factzatI am ƨtatiŋ for ze record. Itdoes notmean zata fluzhed cruzh is whatiƨtakiŋ place here."

"Welp, there zhe iz," Norava points out. "You ϟan juzt go walϟ up to her."

"...Zere are ƨtill a lotof youŋtrolls around her, zhe's kind of popular, I can wait."

"They zeem to be giving her zpaze."

"Well, itwould be rudeto juƨtwalk upto her while zhe's ƨtill--"

"Oh, zhe'z walϟing away now."

"Yeah, but... I juƨtneedto be chill, you know? I'll be chill."

Norava nods solemnly. "Totally ϟhill. Frozty, even."

You smile, having convincingly won the argument, and watch Weisis walk away while internally trying to get yourself to stand up and actually go talk to her before she gets too far away and it gets weird and you don't know why your strut sticks aren't moving but you're sure they will any minuWHOA WAIT SOMEBODY JUST PICKED YOU UP IT'S NORAVA AND NOW SHE'S THROWING YOU AT WEISIS WHAT THE CRAP THIS ISN'T HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO--

==>Explain how it was supposed to go.

You can't explain how it was supposed to go because you're busy trying not to crash into another troll!

Chapter Text

==>Acrobatically avoid crashing into other troll.

You quickly dodge Weisis by slamming your staff into the ground and OH PSYCHE it's a new chapter so you're another character entirely.

==>Be Weisis.

You cannot be Weisis Snechi because you are too busy being Yoxang Liaong!

==>SPhgpfuiL:Sjfd

Command not recognized.

==>Elaborate on current situation.

"...so oƒ course I need to get another 6acku9 order oƒ 9,um9,kins 6ecause some'6ody hacked the delivery drones last time and it's only a wi9,e and a halƒ till eighth 9,erigee's eve," you finish explaining.

"W⊙w." Blakei shakes her head. "Y⊙u juƺt have... the w⊙rƺt luck with pumpkinƺ, d⊙n't y⊙u?"

"I wish I had the worst luck," you grumble, putting your face in your hands. "I've heard stories ƒrom other high'6loods, and a99,arently just losing a 6atch oƒ 9,um9,kins in transit is considered getting oƒƒ easy. Some oƒ them say they've seen 9,um9,kins vanish right in ƒront oƒ them! Right oƒƒ their ta'6le!"

"Tranp⊙rtaliƺati⊙n thieveƺ?"

"May'6e. But there's also the stories a'6out green slime that a99,ears out oƒ nowhere sha9,ed like 9,um9,kins, or the 9,um9,kins that already contain ex9,losives or knives or whatever, and then! Then there was that whole 9,um9,kin 9,aladin ƒiasco last swee9,!"

"⊙h yeah, I heard ab⊙ut that..."

"Why 9,um9,kins?" You throw up your hands. "Seriously, why 9,um9,kins?! Everything else is coming along nicely, 6ut the 9,um9,kins always tri9 me u9!"

Any possible reply from Blakei is cut off when Rhubii smashes through the window, skidding to a stop with one of the biggest smiles you've seen on her. No, wait, it's more normal-sized, it just happens to look bigger then it actually is because she's basically leaking glee from her very chitin despite having smashed through yet another one of your windows. (You've stopped trying to convince her not to do that, but at least she pays for the replacements herself these days.)

Blakei has reflexively hopped up on the back of the loungeplank, but you just roll your eyes. "Okay, who gave you coƒƒee this time?"

"Absolutely nobody!"

"Did y⊙u... have t⊙ break thr⊙ugh the wind⊙w?" Blakei asks as she starts to untense.

"Nope!"

You sigh and rub one of your horns. "Rhu'6ii. We've talked a'6out this. Multi9,le times."

"Who cares aboutvertical planes oftransparenzeat-fused sand? I finally zho‡otalk wiz Weisis!"

That statement snaps you from your passive annoyance into laser-focused and carefully controlled sheer terror. The only outward expression you give is your claws digging into the armrest of the loungeplank, which only Blakei seems to notice.

"Really?" you say in a level tone. "Did you ask her ƒor directions or...?"

"Oh no, we cha‡ed for a few minutes aboutweapons and ƨtrife specibi," Rhubii explains as she perches on the back of a nearby chair. "Zhe seemed really impressed by my ƨtaff."

"Well, any'6ody would 6e," you reply, your mind whirling as you try to figure out what kind of damage control you need to do. "She'll 9,ro'6a'6ly remem'6er you ƒor a while."

"Yeah. We're actually zhoiŋto meetup nextwipe atCocoda's Cateriŋ." Rhubii's expression gets a bit nervous. "I mean, you know, juƨ‡otalk and all, no ulterior motives, maybe hopes, butno intentions, juƨ‡otalk, like new friends, zhe‡iŋto know each ozer, friendlywise, maybe I'll dress up a bit? No, too much, I'll juƨtwear my usual outfit--"

Oh no. Oooooooh no. This is way worse then you thought.

==>Discuss the issue.

"Blakei?" you ask, eyes still locked on the rambling troll perched on the chair. "Do you mind iƒ Rhu'6ii and I have a talk moirail to moirail?"

"I'll get ⊙ut ⊙f y⊙ur hair," Blakei says quickly, absconding and shutting the door behind her.

Rhubii watches her go with confusion, turning back toward you. "What? What's zatabout, what's zhoiŋ on here?"

You very carefully extract your claws from the armrest, taking a deep breath. "Rhu'6ii," you begin as gently as you can while fighting not to scream, "you talking to Weisis is not a good idea."

"Oh come on, Yoxaŋ, zhe's nota badtroll or anyziŋ."

"No, she's not," you agree. "Weisis is a very good troll. She's also 6lue'6lood, who can and has killed trolls 9,ersonally, and who has 6een raised since hatching to 6elieve in the sanctity and glory oƒ the em9,ire."

Rhubii rolls her eyes. "Yes, I'm well aware of ze syƨtemic societal issues--"

"Rhu'6ii," you hiss, "iƒ she knew what you actually were she would cull you in a second!"

"And how does zatmake her any differentfrom literally four billion ozertrolls on zis planet?"

You drag your hands down your face. "She networks, Rhu'6ii! She's not just living in one hive'6atch, she's literally traveling the glo'6e on a regular 6asis! Iƒ she ƒigures it out you won't just 6e a'6le to ho9 a scuttlecoach and disa99,ear into the sunrise, Weisis will 6e a'6le to track you down wherever you go!"

Rhubii actually seems to consider your words for a moment. "I... zink you mightbe overeƨtimatiŋ her reach a li‡le--"

"And she already knows I'm your moirail," you point out. "This hive--my hive--has always 6een a saƒe 9,lace ƒor you to retreat to iƒ things got too dicey out there, 6ut iƒ Weisis comes aƒter you then you won't 6e saƒe here anymore. Do you get that? Do you realize just how much you're risking your liƒe here?!"

She falls silent for a bit, sagging down into the chair as she looks at her strut pods.

"...I'm... I'm just trying to kee9 you saƒe," you admit quietly.

"No, I... I zhetzat. I zhetzat..."

You wring your hands together, claws running over the familiar bite scars of a much younger troll's fangs. It's hard to see her like this. It's hard to be like this to her. You don't like seeing your moirail down, but this time, this time she's got to understand what exactly the danger is here.

"...Ze ziŋ is," Rhubii says slowly, "Weisis doesn'tknow whatI am. And as loŋ as zhe doesn'tfigure out--"

You sink into the loungeplank with a groan of exasperation. "Oh my gog, Rhu'6ii, why are you like this."

"What," Rhubii demands with an annoyed glare, "you zink Weisis will magically discover zetruz when nobody else has?"

"I did!"

"Only because you found me as a pupa! Nobody else knows! Heck, Norava doesn'tknow, and zhe's my kismesis!"

You facepalm, squeezing the ridge of your sniff nub. "And what's going to ha99,en when she 6reaks out the 6uckets, Rhu'6ii?"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Rhubii cries, flapping her arms around with a blush. "Whatze hell, Yoxaŋ?! I only juƨtƨtartedtalkiŋ wiz Weisis!"

"I meant Norava," you deadpan.

"...oh."

==>Double down on your assertion.

"But yeah, actually, the hy9,othetical situation where Weisis gets ƒlushed ƒor you is also kind oƒ im9,ortant here." You fold your hands together, leaning forward. "Iƒ things get to that 9,oint with either oƒ them, what are you going to do?"

"I... um." Rhubii bites her lip, glancing away. "Yeah... well... I juƨt, uh... haveto make sure itdoesn'tzhe‡o zatpoint, huh?"

"Right, 6ecause kee9,ing yourselƒ and your romantic 9,artners emotionally distant enough to just 6e casual is just so easy ƒor ordinary trolls. And you? Miss 'I want to hel9 everyone I meet?' Why, ƒor you, it'll 9,ractically 6e a walk in the recreation ƒield!"

You immediately regret drenching your words in enough sarcasm to fry ten meals' worth of extravagant fast food orders because poor Rhubii has curled in on herself and started rubbing her shoulders as though you had actually yelled. You take a moment to breath, clutching at your face as you try to force back enough of your worries to be rational again.

"...I... want you to 6e ha99,y," you start again. "You deserve to 6e ha99,y. And... honestly, you don't deserve this... what I'm giving you right now, you really... ugh. Look... I..."

You swallow, steadying yourself.

"I'm... not saying you can't talk with Weisis," you manage. "I just... you need to 6e extra careƒul, Rhu'6ii. With her in 9,articular. She is a nice troll, she is a good 9,erson, 6ut she also 6uys into the im9,erial 9,ro9,aganda and you can never ƒorget that, okay?"

Rhubii doesn't answer, but her hands have lowered to her elbows.

"...This was always going to 6e a 9,ro'6lem," you mutter. "Mates9,rit or kismesis... Norava would 9,ro'6a'6ly 6e ƒine with it, honestly. Kee9,ing it secret--"

"Zhe'd havetrouble keepiŋ itsecret," Rhubii admits. "Or itseems zatway, anyway."

"...Rhu'6ii... tell me honestly. Are you ƒlushed ƒor Weisis?"

Rhubii sighs. "Honeƨtly? I don'tknow. I know I wan‡otalk wiz her, and I zink zhe's pre‡y, but... is itjuƨta cruzh or someziŋ more? I couldn'‡ell you."

You lean back into the loungeplank, staring at the ceiling. Why the hell does your life have to be so complicated? Why were you practically hatched into a cult of murder clowns? Why did almost everyone you could ever meet have to either be afraid of you or derisively aggressive unless you made an effort? Why does the one good thing in your life also have to be the most constant source of stress for you? Why can't you just show concern without basically being a jerk? It's hard, being a purple blood with a conscience. It's hard, and nobody understands.

Well... almost nobody.

==>Comfort moirail.

"...Weisis... is a good troll," you admit quietly. "May'6e... may'6e iƒ she, uh... had hel9 reexamining her 6elieƒs..."

Rhubii finally glances up at you, and her smile is attempting to be sardonic but you can see the relief in it. "Wow. You're juƨtzhoiŋto zho zere, huh?"

"I'm not saying I'm comƒorta'6le with it," you point out. "Hell, I'm extremely uncomƒorta'6le with it. But... honestly, she's already 9,ut a lot oƒ thought into her actions, she has... rules. Standards. And... let's 6e real here, you're going to ƒollow your heart no matter the risks, 6ecause you are a total maniac."

"Absolute lunatic," she agrees, stretching her strut sticks out of her huddle.

"All I'm saying is 6e aware oƒ those risks, okay? May'6e you can mitigate them a little. And don't do anything that might reveal you--not until you're a'6solutely sure Weisis won't kill you ƒor it."

"Come on," Rhubii scoffs, "would I do zat?"

You cross your arms. "I'm not joking here, Rhu'6ii. Heck, I'm going to say this right now--even iƒ you think Weisis can handle it, you will come to me 6eƒore you tell her anything, and I will decide iƒ it's saƒe."

"Oh come on!"

"I mean it."

"Yoxaŋ--"

"No9,e. That's my rule."

Rhubii looks at your serious expression and deflates. "Okay, okay... fine. BUT I'm ƨtill zhoiŋtotalk wiz her, and I don'tzink I need your permission for zat."

"No, you don't," you admit. "Just... 6e careƒul, alright?"

"Alright, alright!" Rhubii waves her hand in exasperation. "Yeezh, you worrytoo much."

"And you don't worry enough, that's why we're moirails."

"Yeeeeep," she drawls, "zatiƨtotally ze only reason we're moirails."

"A'6solutely," you faux-agree.

Then you take a deep breath and spread your arms and Rhubii practically launches herself into you, and you're holding her while she croons against your columnstruts and shoosh paps you which you don't really need right now but you appreciate it anyway. This crazy troll girl, you can't imagine life without her. Which might explain why you're so extremely worried, come to think of it...

"Hey." You lift Rhubii off your thorax, giving her a small smile. "Hot ti9: iƒ Cocoda likes your outƒit she might give you a discount on the sly."

"Huh, really?"

"Ye9. And some trolls say the way to a girl's 9,usher is through her digestion 6ladder."

Rhubii cocks her head. "Are zese zetrolls zatliketo zhutwhoever zey cull?"

You crack up laughing, putting her down. "Pƒƒƒƒhahaha! Okay, okay, that... that was terri'6le in the 6est way."

She bows melodramatically. "Itry my beƨt. But, okay, dress upto impress Weisis and zheta discountfrom Cocoda. Zhotit."

When she turns to skip off, though, you put a hand on her shoulder. "Aren't you ƒorgetting something?" At her confused look, you gesture toward the glass shards on the floor. "The window you smashed?"

"Oh, fine, I'll clean itup." Rhubii rolls her eyes, pulling a raggedy bunch of bristles from her sylladex and attaching it to her staff. "It's juƨta li‡le zhlass, Yoxaŋ. Why are you so fussy?"

"Oh, you think I'm ƒussy? Weisis is a regular ƒussyƒangs, let me tell ya." You head for the door. "I'm going to go check on Blakei."

"Check on her, or check her out?"

You shoot a look over your shoulder. "Yeah, no, there's no way she'd ever go ƒor a girl like me."

Rhubii hums noncommitally, but lets you go without another word.

==>Find your hiveguest.

You ramble about your hive till you come to Blakei's block, lightly rapping your knuckles on the door. "Hey, uh, can I come in?"

"It'ƺ y⊙ur h⊙me," Blakei points out.

"Well, yeah, 6ut I don't want to just 6arge in, you know, in case... just in case."

A sigh comes through the door, and then it opens and Blakei is looking up at you. "Ʒ⊙... h⊙w'd that m⊙irail talk g⊙?"

"It's... com9,licated," you explain, stepping in. "But I think it went well? It's just... I don't know."

"Y⊙u're w⊙rried that Rhubii w⊙n't live up t⊙ Weiƺiƺ'ƺ ƺtandardƺ and thingƺ will g⊙ badly."

"...that is not inaccurate," you admit.

"Right..."

"But I can't just sto9 her or do anything too controlling 6ecause that would 6e, you know, wrong. Rhu'6ii is in charge oƒ her liƒe, 6ut..." You sigh, leaning against a bookshelf. "Is it... is it wrong that I want to kee9 an eye on her during this little gettogether she has? Just in case?"

"I... d⊙n't think ƺ⊙?" Blakei seems unsure. "It c⊙uld be ƺeen aƺ... reƺtrictive, if y⊙u actually did anything. But... juƺt keeping an eye ⊙ut... Well, Weiƺiƺ iƺ a bluebl⊙⊙d, and a fam⊙uƺ ⊙ne at that."

"Semi-ƒamous."

"Ʒtill." She shakes her head. "N⊙, in thiƺ caƺe, I d⊙n't think it'ƺ wr⊙ng that y⊙u juƺt want t⊙ keep a l⊙⊙k⊙ut f⊙r her."

You nod thoughtfully. You could just hang outside Cocoda's and--no, Rhubii and Weisis both know you. Heck, the whole mound knows you. It'd be obvious what you were doing.

...although... if it were somebody nobody knew...

Your eyes turn speculatively toward Blakei. "Hey, uh... you can say no, oƒ course, 6ut could I may'6e ask you to do a teensy little ƒavor ƒor me?"

Chapter Text

==>Be Blakei.

You are now Blakei Beldon.

==>Do a favor for Yoxang.

You listen to Yoxang's request and agree to help out, and three nights later you find yourself in a tree outside a well-constructed mealhive with a pair of extraneous vison lengtheners dangling from your chug column. It's not like it's at all difficult to watch Rhubii and her maybe-flushcrush at this distance. One of the staff members had come out and, after you'd explained the situation to her, she'd given you a menu and taken your order. So now you're eating a sandwich in a tree while spying on the maybe-date of a blueblood with poise well-known for being surprisingly reasonable and the crazy ex-feral rustblood moirail of a friendly purpleblood whose hive you're living in that's taking place in a mealhive that's unusually fancy for something run by bronzebloods, which is a situation so far removed from anything you've ever experienced that you have to wonder how exactly you even got into this situation. It's weird.

Actually.... this entire mound is weird. There's really no other word for it. Trolls of all castes mingle in the streets, the few brawls you've witnessed have ended with somebody missing a limb at most, and the only imperial drones you've seen have all been carrying filial pails. There's still the standard caste-based power structure, but nobody is afraid of other trolls, not even lowbloods. Which is nice... well, okay, downright amazing, but you still can't help but wonder if this is a hivebatch with some terrible dark secret like sacrificing to eldritch gods or everyone being replaced by alien robots or something to explain why it's so bizarre.

Well, okay, Rhubii did say Yoxang was somehow responsible for all this. Maybe... maybe she used the purpleblood chucklevoodoos. Somehow?

Now that you think about it, maybe it's just that nobody wants to upset the eight-foot-tall murder clown and since she likes being nice the hivebatch acts nice so she can be nice. That actually... makes a lot of sense. The mound's weird because the troll in charge is weird. In a good way, though. Both the mound and the eight-foot-tall murder clown. Ten-foot-tall, if you count the horns...

Speaking of which, your palmhusk is chirping. Looks like Yoxang wants an update. Again.

==>Talk to sexy murder clown.

WHAT?! ƷEXY?! Y⊙XANG?!?! Hahaha, uh, n⊙⊙⊙⊙, that, that'ƺ a j⊙ke, yeah, uh, n⊙t that ƺhe'ƺ n⊙t, y⊙u juƺt, y⊙u d⊙n't ƺtare--

==>Talk to Yoxang Liaong.

You remember that you're the only one sitting in the tree and nobody's watching you so you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. Nevertheless, you take a breath and hide your face behind a branch before you stroke you palmhusk. "Y⊙u juƺt called five minuteƺ ag⊙," you inform Yoxang in absolute deadpan, grateful that she can't see your blush over the call.

"Would you 6elieve I missed the sultry sound oƒ your voice?" she offers, a touch of hesitation in her jocular tone.

"N⊙."

"Worth a shot. Sorry, Sorry, I know it's 9,ro'6a'6ly alright, it's just..." Yoxang's sigh strains the palmhusk's squawk blister. "It's Rhu'6ii, you know? She's the 6est moirail I could have 6ut sometimes she can 6e so..."

"⊙blivi⊙uƺ?"

"Good word, 6ut not exactly right. More, uh..."

"Idi⊙ƺyncratic?"

"Yeah! Yeah, it's not that she doesn't know she's weird, it's just that she doesn't care, and... I kind oƒ think a lot oƒ it is to test the trolls around her, you know? See iƒ they can handle..."

You wait a few moments for her to finish the sentence.

"...uh... weird... things. Yeah."

And there it is. Another one of Yoxang's patented 'I didn't think this through' sentence caps. You've noticed that she uses them a lot when she feels she's overstepped somehow, which... you have to admit, it's kind of cute, but also a little frustrating, because you can't always tell how she thinks she's overstepped. Like just now with Rhubii being weird, that's apparently fine to talk about, but whatever it is she tests people for isn't?

You're not going to push, though. Yoxang doesn't ask about your secrets, and you're not going to ask about hers. This is perfectly reasonable for friends, which you... might be. As much as it's possible to be friends with a purpleblood, anyway.

==>Ask about Rhubii.

Well, okay, you're a little curious, but you're going to be careful about this. "It muƺt have been... intereƺting t⊙ gr⊙w up with her."

"Oooooh, yeah. You know one time she tried to convince me Alternia had three moons?"

You glance up at the sky, counting one pink moon and one green moon. "Really?"

"Yeah according to her, the moonlet or'6its Alternia so it counts as a moon."

Your eyes focus on the third tiny sphere above you. "Aaaaah, I ƺee."

"And I told her, I told her the moonlet or'6its the 9,ink moon, so it's the 9,ink moon's moon! But she was all 'if itorbits ze pink moon and ze pink moon orbits Alternia zen ze moonletis orbitiŋ Alternia--'"

"And theref⊙re it w⊙uld be a third m⊙⊙n," you finish with a grin.

"And I said that would make Alternia one oƒ the sun's moons, and the sun a moon oƒ the galactic core! And you know what she said?"

"What did ƺhe ƺay?"

"'It's moons all ze way down, Yoxaŋ.' With a com9,letely serious ƒace."

"⊙h my g⊙g."

"I KNOW!" Yoxang laughs with fond exasperation. "I mean, sure she was less then ƒive swee9,s old, 6ut come on! How do you react to that?!"

You lean back into one of the tree branches, shrugging as you return your gaze to the crazy troll in question. "Ʒhe ƺ⊙undƺ like ƺhe waƺ quite the little menaƺe."

"Oh, yeah. Bravest nutjo'6 I've ever met." Yoxang's voice takes on an amused quality. "And 6eing a clowntessa means I've meat quiiiiite a ƒew nutjo'6s, so that is saying something."

The reminder of her social position doesn't hit as hard as it could, but it does jerk you back to reality. Intellectually you know Yoxang didn't mean it as bragging, she just brought it up to make a joke. But you still feel the ardor of your banter evaporate as your pusher clenches tightly.

"....so, uh..." Yoxang's voice comes across the palmhusk hesitantly. "...can I... may'6e... I mean, I know I'm 6eing a little 9,aranoid--well, okay, a lot 9,aranoid--'6ut, uh, Rhu'6ii's still okay, right? Weisis isn't glaring at her or anything?"

The tension in your blood pusher moves down to your digestion bladder, and you let out a low breath. "Ʒhe'ƺ fine, Y⊙xang. They're b⊙th fine. Weiƺiƺ iƺ... actually reƺp⊙nding t⊙ her a bit, actually. It ƺeemƺ t⊙ be g⊙ing well."

For a moment there's no reply.

"...that'ƺ g⊙⊙d, iƺn't it?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure, it's great, yeah, it... yeah. They're getting along?"

"...yeeeeeeƺ," you reply, giving the palmhusk a suspicious look.

"Wonderƒul!" Yoxang's voice is bright, spirited, and only just slightly forced. "The two oƒ them. Getting along. This could 6e the start oƒ a wonderƒul ƒriendshi9."

==>Ask if it's actually wonderful.

"Y⊙u d⊙n't ƺeem all that enthuƺiaƺtic," you note warily.

"What? Oh, well, uh... It's just... I mean, I'm not one oƒ those trolls that needs to control every single as9,ect oƒ their moirail's liƒe--Rhu'6ii wanders around the whole 9,lanet, you know? And I have a'6solutely nothing against cross-caste relationshi9,s. Well, the ones where the higher 6lood isn't ex9,loiting the lower 6lood ƒor whatever, anyway. The ones where they are are just wrong, o'6viously."

"⊙bvi⊙uƺly," you agree dryly.

"So this thing? With Rhu'6ii and Weisis? It's, uh, it's ƒine! It's ƒine. I mean, I'm ƒine, you know, with, with the idea oƒ it. With, the... that 9,art. That's okay. Rhu'6ii is wonderƒul. She deserves...." Another sigh comes across, the palmhusk spasming from the exertion. "She deserves so much more then I can give her. And Weisis is... not terri'6le."

You quirk an eyebrow. "N⊙t terrible?"

"Alright, alright, Weisis is one oƒ the 6est 6lue'6loods on the 9,lanet. I just..." There's a pause, and then Yoxang continues on. "I just don't know iƒ she's the 6est match ƒor Rhu'6ii, s9,eciƒically." Her tone picks up a sort of desperate amusement on that last sentence.

"...Beƺt match."

"Weisis has reƒined tastes and can get a 6it 9,ersnickety when things don't go exactly the way she 9,lanned. And Rhu'6ii is just, well, wild! Literally!"

"⊙pp⊙ƺiteƺ attract," you point out.

"Yeah, sure, 6ut Weisis is VERY 9,ersnickety. I don't know iƒ she'd 6e a'6le to handle Rhu'6ii long enough to see the good in her."

"Thiƺ," you deadpan, "deƺpite her having a track rec⊙rd ⊙f helping literally hundredƺ ⊙f tr⊙llƺ wh⊙ were c⊙nƺidered 'pr⊙blematic' with finding and adapting t⊙ a unique plaƺe in Alternian ƺ⊙ƺiety?"

"...um. Well. That's... diƒƒerent."

"Really."

"It's her, uh... I mean, she... Weisis and Rhu'6ii... it's diƒƒerent," Yoxang finishes lamely.

"Mmmhmm."

Yoxang mutters something too quietly for the palmhusk to repeat it. "...Okay, ƒine. I'm 6eing irrationally 9,aranoid. Is that what you want to hear?"

"The firƺt ƺtep t⊙ ƺ⊙lving a pr⊙blem iƺ admitting y⊙u have ⊙ne," you reply benevolently, and in full knowledge that your amused smirk can't be seen over the long-distance communication.

"Right." For a moment Yoxang is silent. "So... just to 6e clear, are Rhu'6ii and Weisis, like, having a ƒriendly conversation, or does it look like it's going ƒlushed?"

You drag a hand along your horn with a barely audible groan.

==>Mess with the paranoid troll.

An impish desire overcomes you, just as you're about to reply. "Actually, in the ƺpaƺe ⊙f the literally five minuteƺ ƺinƺe y⊙u laƺt aƺked, everything haƺ g⊙ne t⊙ hell."

"What?!"

"Yep, Weiƺiƺ haƺ t⊙rn ⊙ff her dreƺƺ and ƺtarted ƺpeaking in the br⊙⊙dfeƺter t⊙ngueƺ," you report casually. "⊙h, and n⊙w ƺhe'ƺ decapitated Rhubii, burgandy bl⊙⊙d everywhere--⊙h, l⊙⊙k, ƺhe'ƺ painting a ƺumm⊙ning ƺircle with it."

"...gog damn it."

"And n⊙w an army ⊙f gh⊙ƺtƺ iƺ p⊙uring ⊙ut the wind⊙wƺ," you continue, idly checking your claws. "They've ƺet the entire hive ablaƺe. And Weiƺiƺ haƺ pulled ⊙ut a wicked-l⊙⊙king dagger and ƺhe'ƺ g⊙ing ⊙n ab⊙ut h⊙w ƺhe waƺ f⊙rƺed t⊙ kill her ⊙ne true l⊙ve t⊙ appeaƺe the dark g⊙dƺ that h⊙ld her ƺ⊙ul."

"Blakei--"

"⊙h, ƺhe juƺt ƺtabbed herƺelf in the th⊙rax. The puƺher, fr⊙m all the blue bl⊙⊙d ƺpurting ⊙ut. And hey, iƺ that the empreƺƺ? It iƺ! Ʒhe'ƺ c⊙me in her perƺ⊙nal warƺhip--"

"Are you done?" Yoxang asks flatly.

"Alm⊙ƺt."

She huffs. "Okay, ƒine. What is the em9,ress doing."

"Ʒhe'ƺ ƺpitting lineƺ ab⊙ut the tragedy ⊙f teenage r⊙manƺe."

"Really."

"The dr⊙neƺ have f⊙rmed a kickline and Gl'bg⊙lyb iƺ pr⊙viding backup v⊙calƺ."

A strange sound comes from the palmhusk, which quickly devolves into Yoxang laughing uproariously. "HAHahahAhahaaaha, haha, okay, okay. Okay, yeah, that... ƒor that mental image alone... yeah. That was hilarious."

You can't help the smile that comes to your face. "Thank y⊙u."

"Horriƒying, 6ut hilarious."

"It'ƺ incredible h⊙w well th⊙ƺe tw⊙ thingƺ mix."

"Yeah. But, uh, seriously though." Yoxang's voice takes on a distressed tone. "I was actually worried there ƒor a second. Could you, may'6e, not do that again? Please?"

You cringe momentarily. "...⊙kay."

"Okay."

"And if anything actually d⊙eƺ g⊙ wr⊙ng," you add, "I pr⊙miƺe I will call y⊙u right away."

"Alright. Thanks. Um..."

"...They're talking. Quite happily."

"Right. Right..."

"...I can't tell y⊙u if it'ƺ fluƺhed ⊙r n⊙t fr⊙m thiƺ diƺtanƺe."

"Right." Yoxang is quiet for a moment. "Yeah, uh... hey. Thanks ƒor... doing this. I mean, I don't want to drag you into my own drama, it's--you have your own thing, whatever it is, going on. I shouldn't 6e 9,utting my 6urdens on you."

"That'ƺ..." You pause, not quite sure what to say to that. It doesn't sound wrong, but it doesn't feel right. "...⊙kay," you decide. "It'ƺ ⊙kay. F⊙r thiƺ, I mean."

"I'll just... get out oƒ your hair," Yoxang says. "Oh, 6ut, uh, I'm going to dro9 6y the 6ookhive on the way home, so, you know, iƒ there's anything I can 9,ick u9 ƒor you--"

"⊙h! Well..." You consider for a moment. "I gueƺƺ... there might be a Gyldan Gudych b⊙⊙k? It, uh, it'd be the third n⊙vel ⊙f her Ʒhad⊙w Mage War R⊙manƺe ƺerieƺ."

"Classy. I'll look into it. Talk to you later!"

The palmhusk chirps again, retracting its squawk blister. You hum a bit, stroking its shell gently before you put it back in your sylladex. This entire thing has been strange.

But... in a good way.

Chapter Text

==>Be Weisis Snechi.

After ridiculous amounts of distracting shenanigans, you are once again Weisis Snechi.

==>Do something nice, okay?

"Thanq you forr yourr prrompt deileiveirry." The troll gives you a broad smile, and you resolve to pay her extra for her excellent service and good attitude. You turn back to your dining companion as the other server puts her meal in front of her. "Ei weill admeit Ei have neiveirr eindulged ein parrtaqeing of a meial ein thes parrteiqularr loqale beiforre today."

Rhubii gives you a wry grin. "Somehow, I'm notsurprised."

"Yeis, weill." You adjust your sleeve subtly. "Eit appeiarrs that was a meistaqe on my parrt. The food eis weill-prreiparred, the staff eis heighly qapable, and the einveirronmeint eis queite styleish. Ei suppose Ei leit ceirrtaein... prreiqonceiptions of the umbeirr qaste affeiqt the deiceisions Ei made... orr rratheirr, the deiceisions Ei deidn't maqe."

"Yeah, notmany highbloods chooseto eatata place run by bronzebloods." Rhubii picks up her rakeprong and twirls it a bit. "Course, Yoxaŋ's a regular here, so..."

"Of qourrse. Ei deidn't meian to deisparrage the eistableishmeint." You pick up your own rakeprong. "But as you brrought up Yoxang... was she the one who gave you the outfeit you'rre weiarreing?"

"Nope! Made itmyself!"

You can't help but quirk an eyebrow at that. "Rreially? Weill, eit's... einqrreideibly weill made, Ei must say."

"Yeah, I'm juƨtfull of surprises."

"Eit's not that Ei don't beilieve you," you assure her quickly, "eit's just that qomparred to the rrags you weirre weiarreing whein we feirrst meit thes outfeit eis..."

Rhubii smirks at your hesitation. "Actually a setof clozes inƨtead of juƨta corsetand a bunch of fabric scraps ƨtruŋtogezer?"

"...As Ei rreiqall, you weirre also weiarreing a stoqeing."

"Yeah, I kind of picked up ze abilityto make an outfitoutof anyziŋ," Rhubii explains. "It's juƨtpartand parcel of beiŋ a ruƨty on ze zho."

You can't help but quirk an eyebrow at that. "Eit's not oftein Ei miet a trroll of yourr qaste that qan afforrd a trraveileing leifeistyle. Ein poeint of faqt... Ei don't beilieve eiveirr meit one beiforre you." You fold your hands together. "Most of the loweirr qastes qiep to loqal trranseit. How qan you afforrd such... weidei-rreiacheing wandeirreings?"

She giggles a little. "Now now, a zhirl haƨto have a li‡le myƨtery. I can'tjuƨta‡ribute everyziŋto my incredible moirail, can I?"

"Ah, of qourrse." You smile back. "My meistaqe."

Rhubii starts digging into her meal. "You know what's really crazy? Differentplaces have differentwords for ze same ziŋ." She takes an enormous bite of the chunk of meat on her rakeprong, before tapping it with a claw. "Zis? I've been places where zis is called a fork, of all ziŋs."

"A forrq?"

"A fork!"

You look at the rakeprong in your own hand. "Ei'll admeit, Ei kneiw teirrmeinology varreied frrom rreigion to rreigion, and eivein beitwien qasteis. But... why a forrq? That worrd doeisn't maqe any seinsei! Wheirre ded eit qome frrom?"

Rhubii shrugs. "Alternia is a big planet. Wasn'talways as unified as itis now, zere were a lotof cultures. Even wiz imperial consolidation, old words and differen‡ranslations can leak zrough." She starts counting off on her fingers. "Meal vault, zermal hull, refrigerator, all ze same ziŋ."

You nod thoughtfully. This wasn't something you didn't know, but you hadn't realized beforehand how such historical differences could lead to changes in entirely fundamental words...

==>Probe Rhubii for further unexpected wisdom.

"Thanq you forr yourr prrompt deileiveirry," you say to the burgundy server who brings out your meal, before turning back to your dining companion...

...you're not sure why, but you're suddenly off-balance. "Ei'm... teirrrreibly sorrrry, we weirre... talqeing about worrds?"

Rhubii starts counting off on her fingers. "Meal vault, zermal hull, refrigerator, all ze same ziŋ."

You nod in consideration, regaining your thread of thought. "Yeis, eit's einteirreisteing to seie how a trroll weill phrrase theings deiffeirreintly deipeindeing on thierr ceirrqumstanceis, eisn't eit?"

"Intereƨtiŋ, sure, butitcan be a bitfruƨtratiŋ. I mean, zere are a lotoftrolls zatrefuseto open upto anybody outside zeir own caƨte." She sighs, putting the chunk of meat back on her nutrition plateau. "Itcan be hardto help somebody zatdoesn'tzink you can help."

"Orr that doeisn't want yourr heilp," you agree somberly.

"Or doesn'trealize zey need help..."

"Orr that nieds heilp you qan't geive..."

"Itcan be hardto help people," Rhubii summarizes. "For a lotof reasons."

"Yeis..."

You run your rakeprong through your meal, fiddling with the assorted shellbites. Rhubii, carefully, reaches out and puts a hand on yours; you huff lightly, but grant her an amused smile.

"How do you heilp trrolls?"

Rhubii shrugs. "I can'treally explain it. It's notquite as ƨtructured as whatyou do."

"You've heiarrd about what Ei do?"

"Oh yeah, you've zhota reputation. Plus, you know, Norava's my kismesis."

"Aaaaaah, so that's why she thrreiw you at me."

"Yeah." Rhubii shakes her head ruefully. "Sorry aboutzat, by ze way."

You wave it off with a small smile. "Oh, Ei know how qeismeiseises worrq. Ei used to have one myseilf."

"Usedto?"

"Oh, Cendir's steill aleive," you assure her. "She eimpaled me, Ei torre off heirr arrm... eit was a torrrred affaeirr, but ein the eind we rreialeized we wanted deiffeirreint theings frrom the rreilationsheip and brroqe eit off ameiqably."

Rhubii tilts her head. "Youtore off her arm."

"Ei ded qommeission heirr a neiw one," you assure her again. "And Ei grrafted eit on heirr myseilf." You take a sip of your scalding leaf fluid. "Ei always pay my dueis."

Rhubii appraises you for a moment longer, her expression hidden behind her silver goggles. Then she folds her hands together with a smile. "Zatwas very considerate of you."

"One should rreispeiqt thierr qeismeises as much as thierr mateisprreit," you reply. "Not ein the same manneirr, obviously, but eit's just as eimporrtant a rreilationsheip."

"I've read bookƨtoo, you know." Rhubii's smile takes a teasing curve. "Anyone can repeatwisdom, even if zey don'tunderƨtand it."

"Meiss Rhoess, arre you aqquseing me of meindleissly rreigurrgeitateing diep thoughts weithout qomprreiheindeing the meianeing beiheind theim?"

"Oh noooooooo," she drawls, "I would never accuse you of doiŋ anyziŋ mindlessly."

You stick your rakeprong into your meal. "You know, Ei suspeiqted you meight be eintrreigueingly offbeiat, but Ei neiveirr thought you would be so peirreilously audacious."

"Ooooo, newtitles! I'll juƨtadd zem onto 'gleefully nonchalant' and 'insufferably crazed.'" Rhubii twirls her rakeprong. "One more and I zheta discountatze loonyhive mealblock!"

Somehow, despite yourself, you can't help but grin.

==>Admire quality cooking.

You nod to the burgandy server who puts your meal in front of you. "Thanq you forr yourr prrompt..."

...hold on a moment...

You take a look at the rakeprong in your hand. Then at the nutrition plateau before you. It looks different then it... no, it looks exactly like it did when it first arrived, but it only just arrived. But you remember this server giving it to you before already. And...

Actually, come to think of it, you're pretty sure this mealhive has a small staff that solely consists of umber caste members. Who's this burgandy troll? You don't remember her at all--

--but why would you remember her if you've never been here before?

You very carefully put your rakeprong down, turning to the strange troll. Her smile is wide and unfaltering and her eyes are looking directly at you. You take a deep breath and meet them firmly.

"Ei would leiqe to asq you what eis goeing on."

"i was wondering when you'd notice something was up!" the troll replies with unvarnished enthusiasm.

==>Interrogate strange troll.

"oh there's no need to interrogate me," the strange troll assures you casually. "i'll just tell you straight up: you're dreaming!!! :D"

"Huh." Well that was convenient and easy. "So thes eis all ein my theinqpan."

"nope!!!"

"But... you just saed Ei was drreiameing."

"yep!!!"

"So," you say carefully, "Ei'm drreiameing, but thes eisn't all ein my theinqpan."

"you got it! ;D"

You consider her broad-smiling wink and cross your arms. "Rreight... you'rre prrobably goeing to geive me vague but trruthful answeirrs no matteirr what Ei asq beiqause sieeing me qonfused eis einteirrtaeineing to you, rreight?"

She giggles. "you are one smart cookie! hold on let me slip into something more dramatic"

Her form flickers and suddenly she's wearing something that you honestly would never expect a burgandy blood to wear. It's red, of course, but aside from the hood it's brighter then the usual shades burgandies wear, and it seems to be made of a high-quality fabric you can't readily identify. There's also the ten-point gear printed on her chest, which isn't like any caste sign you've ever seen, and the GOGDAMNED PAIR OF ELEGANT RED FRONDFLUTTER WINGS SHE'S FLAPPING OH THOSE ARE REAL THEY ARE DEFINITELY REAL--!

Suffice it to say, you suddenly don't understand anything.

==>Ask where the troll got sweet digs.

"you like my sweet digs? i got them when i exploded and became a god! :D"

"Ah," you say, as though you have any idea what she's talking about. "How... does that worrq, eixaqtly?"

"it's a long story," she says. "and i mean really long it involves like four universes and five maybe six apocalypses and there's time travel and aliens and time traveling aliens and a very silly barkbeast--you know what it's not important right now let's just talk about the part you're involved in!!!"

"You meian the parrt wheirre Ei'm drreiameing but not ein my theinqpan?"

"yep!!!"

You glance at Rhubii for help. She gives you an extremely bemused look. "Hey, zis is your dream. I'm juƨta figmentof your imagination based off a memory of an actual person. Zat's right, isn'tit?" she adds to the stranger.

"pretty much," she confirms. "of course i'm not just a figment of your imagination i'm actually real so yeah"

"O...qay." You take a moment to consider your next question. "Eis thes some sorrt of psioneiq abeileity?"

"nope!!!"

"Of qourrse not," you mutter, "that would be too rreiasonable, wouldn't eit. So, eif Ei'm drreiameing, and thes eisn't einseide my theinqpan orr psioneiqally einduced... thein wheirre am Ei eixaqtly?"

"you're in a dream bubble!"

"A drreiam bubble."

"yep!!!"

You wait for the stranger to clarify that for a few seconds. She just keeps smiling at you.

"...What's a drreiam bubble?" you finally ask.

"it is a bubble filled with dreams!" she announces grandiosely. "also ghosts," she adds as an afterthought. "specific ghosts i mean"

Ah, yes, things are starting to make sense again. "So you qrreiated theise drreiambubbleis--"

"oh i had nothing to do with their creation"

"...so a burrgandy qaste meimbeirr qrreiated theise drreiam bubbleis--"

"actually it was the horrorterrors that glubbed them up."

You pause for a moment. "The horrrrorrteirrrrorrs."

"yep!!!"

"As ein, the horrrrorrteirrrrorrs that Gl'bgolyb eis eimeissarry to," you clarify.

The stranger giggles. "oh no that's ridiculous! gl'bgolyb isn't really an emissary to the horrorterrors she's more like a wriggler"

You stare in pure dread at the troll who just called the mass of psychically potent tentacles as large as the moonlet resting in the depths of Alternia's ocean a wriggler.

"okay yeah wriggler's too strong a word," she admits. "cause gl'bgolyb is never going to grow up to become a horrorterror! not like the literally millions of them squirming around outside the edge of the dream bubble right now"

Your eyes turn involuntarily to the wall of the block, which looks completely solid from where you're sitting. You can feel your bloodpusher pounding.

==>Talk about something else, ANYTHING else...

"aaaaaaw you don't want to talk about the horrorterrors? :("

"No," you squeak, "Ei rreially don't. How ded Ei geit heirre anyway?"

"okay so dream bubbles float around paradox space which is between universes," the stranger starts off. "and there is a lot of stuff in paradox space! there's the horrorterrors and the and a bunch of universes both living and dead and otherwise and really it's like a cosmological scrapyard all up in here! but sometimes there's this thing that happens between different universes where certain things just link up even though they've never met before"

"Ceirrtaein theings?"

"yep!!! important doohickies or geographical locations or even people can be so much like each other that it's like they're the same whatever repeated into another universe! and sometimes that causes something i'm going to call a resonance thread because i don't know if it has an actual name but it's sort of a linky thingy between universes that are otherwise unrelated between identical whatevers"

You tilt your head. "So... theirre's... anotheirr mei? Ein some otheirr uneiveirrsei?"

"well yes but actually no! there's a you that you would have been if you weren't hatched on alternia!" The stranger shrugs. "the dream bubble i'm in is actually passing through a bundle of resonance threads between that world and alternia right now and i got kinda curious so i poked my head up them and then decided to drag you up from the other end"

"So... Ei'm... ein a rreisonance thrreiad that's ein a drreiam bubble that's ein parradox space surrrrounded by horrrrorrteirrrrorrs?"

"yep! also there are a lot of ghosts in this dream bubble but they're all busy arguing about how to kill the immortal demon that's slaughtering them all so they won't bother us"

You sink into your chair. "Rreight. So... Ei gueiss... we qan talq?"

"i mean we could and that's what i wanted at first but the dream bubble has been moving all this time and the resonance thread is almost at the edge so i'll be gone soon"

"At the--" You sit up in realization. "Waeit, what happeins eif Ei'm steill ein the rreisonance thrreiad whein eit's ein parradox space?!"

The stranger beams at you. "i have no idea!!! :D :D :D"

==>WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP---!

"Ei neied to waqe up!" you shout, standing up.

"i can help you with that!" the stranger cries, standing up.

You gape at her desperately. "Yeis! Queiq! Waqe me up!"

"wake me up inside--"

""WHY ARRE YOU SEINGEING THEIS EIS SEIRREIOUS!"

"wow you're a prissy one"

You take a deep breath. "Ei do not want to be heirre whein the rreisonance thrreiad eis eixposed to the horrrrorrteirrrrorrs," you explain as calmly as you can, which isn't very calmly at all. "So eif you qould waqe me up as sweiftly as posseible, Ei would be most apprreiceiateive."

The stranger grins. "oh is that all? okay then!!!" She draws back her hand and---

---you sit up with a gasp, sopor slime splashing off your hair and into the recuperacoon as your gaze darts wildly around the respiteblock. You reach up to feel your cheek, half-surprised to find no new scars despite the fading sting of a stranger's claws... but of course there wouldn't be. It was just a dream, right?

Right?

You take a few deep breaths. It was just a dream. And if it wasn't a dream, you're awake now at least. So you're safe...

...

...buuuuuuut you're not going to back to sleep today. Nope.

Chapter Text

==>Be somebody that can handle horrorterrors.

You are now Rhubii Rhoess.

==>Handle horrorterrors.

You cannot handle the horrorterrors because you are too busy being excited for eighth perigee's eve!

==>Exposit on eighth perigee's eve.

"You're zhoiŋto love itBlakei," you gush to the other troll as you practically prance along the holdpoles around the festivityblock. "Yoxaŋ holds, like, ze BEST eighz perigee's eve celebration on ze planet!"

"Ʒuper fanƺy?" Blakei asks, not looking up from her book.

"Nah, notreally. Butze fancy celebrations don'tzhetit, you know? Don'tzhetwhatze holiday is about." You kick up on one strutpod, sliding down to the base of the stairs and hopping off the hold poles to plop down next to her. "It's all 'oooooh it's spooky, we have booooones' and it's juƨt, juƨt, basic, you know? Ze zhell, notze zorax. Yoxaŋ zhets itzough. Yoxaŋ makes sure we alltruly underƨtand. You'll see whatI mean."

"Y⊙u ƺeem really... inveƺted in thiƺ."

"I zhuess I am a li‡le. I mean, it's also my wriggliŋ day."

Blakei glances up from her book. "Really."

"Yep! By ze end oftomorrow, I'll be eightsweeps old!"

"Y⊙u were hatched," she repeats, "⊙n eighth perigee'ƺ eve."

You smirk at her. "Explains a lot, don'tit?"

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, I gueƺƺ it d⊙eƺ."

"Oh, we zho‡a zhetyou a veilgarb!" you proclaim suddenly. "Wouldn'twantveŋeful spirits snatchiŋ you up."

Blakei chuckles dryly."Believe me, I'm n⊙t w⊙rried ab⊙ut vengeful ƺpiritƺ."

There's a slight, very slight emphasis on that last word that you probably wouldn't have picked up on if you hadn't been looking at her hands at that very moment. The way her claws squeeze together, for a moment, raises your suspicions, and you gently grasp her shoulder. "Well... whezer or notze zhhoƨts are after you, a veilgarb could only help you enjoy ze night, right? Sometimes, we all wan‡o look like somebody else."

She gives you an amused look. "Even y⊙u?"

"Oh, especially me," you assure her. "I wear my mask all zetime!" You tap your goggles with a grin.

"Huh." Blakei tilts her head. "That'ƺ why y⊙u wear that?"

"I mean, I could say I wear itbecause nearly hi‡iŋ dawn a number oftimes before I fell asleep did notdo my poor pupa eyes any favors, butzatwould be boriŋ." And technically a lie, but Blakei doesn't need to know that.

A wry smile crosses her lips. "W⊙uldn't glaƺƺeƺ be eaƺier?"

"Notwhen you're atwo-sweep-old feraltroll who doesn'‡ruƨtanyziŋ near zeir face. 'Whatis zis ƨtraŋe ziŋ?! I muƨtdeƨtroy it!'" You zhrug casually. "Yoxaŋ was monumentally patientwiz me. By zetime I was old enoughto underƨtand whatzhlasses are, I'd already zho‡en usedto ze zhoggles, so... yeah."

Blakei hums thoughtfully, conceding the point. "Well, maybe I'll find a veilgarb bef⊙re t⊙m⊙rr⊙w night."

==>Expedite Blakei getting veilgarb.

"I could make you one," you offer. "I don'tknow if it'll be upto your ƨtandards, but--"

"My ƺtandardƺ?"

You level a flat look at her. "You're weariŋ boots over ƨtockiŋs over slacks and a zhirtzatlooks like itwas made outof zree differentzhirts of increasiŋly fancy laciness. Your outfitmightnotbe colorful, butitisn'tsomeziŋ you'd juƨtfind on ze ƨtreet." You can't help a sardonic smile. "Truƨtme on zatone, eh?"

"Ah. Well..." Blakei clears her throat. "It'ƺ juƺt... what I had ⊙n, y⊙u kn⊙w. When..."

She trails off, glancing away.

You hold her shoulder more firmly. "...when you hadto leave your home behind."

"...yeƺ," she mutters. "That'ƺ... that'ƺ a way t⊙ put it."

"Yeah, I... I zhuess I'm notlike zat," you admit. "Feral and all... Zis hive is ze closeƨtziŋto a home I have, butit's nota place zatI'm rootedto. Itravel a lot. Ƨtill... I zhuess if I hadto leave Yoxaŋ, for whatever reason, I'd be... itwould hurt." You nod quietly. "Itwould hurt."

"...ƺhe iƺ y⊙ur m⊙irail," Blakei agrees, and there's a somberness to her voice that makes you cringe.

"Did you..." You choose your words carefully. "Did you leave somebody behind?"

Blakei doesn't reply, but her shoulder tenses under your hand.

"I zhouldn'zave asked, sorry--"

"N⊙, it'ƺ... it'ƺ... juƺt c⊙mplicated," Blakei assures you. "And n⊙t... n⊙t ƺ⊙mething I want t⊙ talk ab⊙ut."

You nod carefully, thinking about everything you've learned. No, she's not ready to talk yet, obviously. Which you understand, but also it bothers you that you can't just help out right now. Gog you hate having to be patient! A good feelings jam can work wonders, even if it's not with your moirail. You sometimes wish trolls would just lay out their deeply ingrained personal traumas on command. Then you remember that a lot of trolls are, well, raised in a brutal caste-based culture where many people abuse the already morally questionable practice of culling and decide that maaaaaybe they might have a reason to keep their inner pain secret.

"Alright, so let'ƨtalk aboutyour veilgarb inƨtead," you offer. "Ooo! I could make you a purrbeaƨtearband!"

Blakei gives you a flat look.

"You're right, wouldn'zide you from anybody." You hum thoughtfully. "Oh! Whatif you dressed up as a princess?"

"H⊙w d⊙ y⊙u kn⊙w what a prinƺeƺƺ iƺ?"

"I don't," you admit with a grin. "I juƨtknow zey wear fancy ƨtuff. Or zey have in all ze pictures I've seen."

Blakei looks at you for a moment, then shakes her head. "N⊙, I d⊙n't want t⊙ ⊙pen that can ⊙f dirt n⊙⊙dleƺ."

You have no idea why she reacted that way, but you decide to ask Yoxang what a princess is later. Or maybe Weisis. Best to focus on the moment. "Okay... whatdo you wan‡o be?"

""I..." Blakei pauses as a contemplative look comes over her face. "I'd... like t⊙ be ƺ⊙meb⊙dy w⊙rth reƺpecting."

"Pretty sure you're already that," says Yoxang from behind both of you.

Your hand breaks away as Blakei stands and practically pirouettes to face her. "Y⊙u--I... I didn't hear y⊙u c⊙me d⊙wn."

"Rhu'6ii can 6e 9,retty distracting," Yoxang explains, giving you a firm look. You stick your tongue out at her, and she rolls her eyes. "Sorry iƒ I startled you."

"I..." Blakei looks at you, and for a moment there's an expression of nervous confusion on her face, before she turns back to Yoxang. "...ƺupp⊙ƺe that makeƺ ƺenƺe..."

"We were juƨ‡alkiŋ aboutzhe‡iŋ Blakei a veilgarb!" You rush up to your moirail, swinging onto her shoulder and gesturing at Blakei. "Whatdo you zink, Yoxaŋ? Any zhood ideas?"

"Hmmm." Yoxang rubs her chin thoughtfully. "You know, she could make a good scowladin..."

"Aren't ƺc⊙wladinƺ ƺupp⊙ƺed t⊙ be..." Blakei pauses for a moment, glancing down at herself. "...muƺcular?"

Yoxang tilts her head in confusion. "Well, yeah. Why?"

"Ʒ⊙ it w⊙uldn't really fit me," Blakei points out.

"What are you talking a'6out?" Yoxang asks, genuinely baffled.

You can't help but roll your eyes listening to these two. It'd be hilarious if it weren't so... actually, it's just hilarious. It'd probably be a lot less hilarious if you knew why Blakei was disagreeing with Yoxang's assessment, but the way her expression goes from confusion to realization to 'no I'm not smiling you're smiling shut up' is just absolutely comical!

"Well, I... d⊙n't kn⊙w if I'd... l⊙⊙k g⊙⊙d in arm⊙r," she tries. "Even fake laƺt-minute-veilgarb arm⊙r."

Yoxang considers her for a moment. "I think you'd--"

"Whatabouta ninja?"

"That..." Blakei pauses for a moment. "Well... I gueƺƺ it w⊙uldn't be the m⊙ƺt ridicul⊙uƺ veilgarb in the m⊙und..."

"No9,e," Yoxang agrees. "That would 6e mine."

==>Tease Yoxang about her veilgarb.

"Yeah, Yoxaŋ always wears ze same crazy ziŋ every year," you agree offhand.

"It's a ceremonial clowntessa outƒit," Yoxang grumbles, shooting you a glare. "Iƒ I didn't wear it, I'd 6e going 'against tradition.' I don't think I'd 6e execuemunicated ƒor that, 6ut..."

She rubs a horn, her eyes and voice falling to the floor. "Best not to risk it."

Blakei's eyes widen for a moment, and you notice her hand raising slightly. But then she pauses, pulling it back and glancing away. You are once again made aware of the isolation imposed on your moirail by her position, no matter how much she does to make herself approachable. You can't even be angry at Blakei for her caution--not with how other purplebloods act.

You can, however, distract both of them from the doubts running through their head with a little bit of mischief. "You know, I zink Blakei would loveto see your veilgarb," you say casually.

Yoxang throws you a look. "Come on, Rhu'6ii--"

"I'm serious!" You hop off her shoulder, zipping next to Blakei and gesturing at her bemused expression. "Come on, look atzatface. So curious! Zhe definitely wantƨto see it!"

"You say that, 6ut I'd like to hear it ƒrom her."

Blakei hides a smile behind her hand. "Y⊙u kn⊙w what, ƺure, why n⊙t. Let'ƺ ƺee thiƺ embarraƺƺing traditi⊙nal ⊙utfit."

Yoxang gives an exaggerated sigh, but heads up to one of the storage blocks.

"It's notreally zatbad," you admit to Blakei. "Yoxaŋ juƨtdoesn'tlike how itmakes her look like a fragile colorfrond kind of zhirl. All frills and filigree."

Blakei gets an odd expression on her face. "Ʒhe d⊙eƺn't want t⊙ be ƺeen aƺ a fragile c⊙l⊙rfr⊙nd, but ƺhe'ƺ perfectly willing t⊙ take in feral tr⊙llƺ and... hem⊙an⊙nym⊙uƺ individualƺ ⊙ff the ƺtreet?"

"Yoxaŋ believes a ƨtroŋ body needs a ƨtroŋ puzher," you explain, smiling softly. "Zhe could absolutely cruzh atroll's nugbone onehanded, butyou'd never zink zatlookiŋ azer because zhe juƨt... cares so obviously. Butzhe does like haviŋ zatƨtreŋz around for when monƨters come from ze foreƨtor, you know, somebody in ze mound needs help rebuildiŋ zeir hive. Zhe zinks of herself as a zhuardian."

"D⊙eƺ ƺhe?" Blakei tilts her head. "And what if... what if an⊙ther highbl⊙⊙d deƺided t⊙ cauƺe tr⊙uble in the m⊙und?"

"Zhe'd puta ƨtopto it," you say confidently. "Heck, zhe's done itbefore."

"Really?"

You nod. "A couple seadwellers zhotsome droneƨto smazh a few hives. Yoxaŋ zrew ze drones zrough ze envelope of zeir airzhip, lugged ze whole ziŋ into ze bay, and convinced zemto keepto oceanic raids. Wiz her fiƨts."

Blakei looks impressed, so you decide to not mention that Yoxang collapsed ten minutes after pulling off that stunt and couldn't move without assistance for a whole perigee. Besides, you can hear Yoxang coming back, which means it's time to set up the bait to your trap.

"Anyway, yeah, ze outfitactually looks pre‡y zhood on her," you say happily, hiding your evil intent. "Sure, it's waytoo fancy, butitreally emphasizes her amaziŋ honkers."

You delight in the flustered half-squeaked "Pnh'-waa--?!" from Blakei but turn toward your moirail as she half-heartedly reveals the outfit she's carrying.

"Yeah," Yoxang says, gesturing at the colorful tights and extremely flared skirt, "it's kind oƒ, you know, silly. I mean it's su99,osed to 6e, o'6viously, 6ut the... the whole thing makes me look like some sort oƒ walking ƒaygo ƒountain." She holds out a sleeve. "But hey, it's got 6uilt in horns ƒor the Verrückter Hu9,entanz."

"...It d⊙eƺ," Blakei agrees, and you pretend not to notice her side-eyeing you. "And a l⊙t ⊙f h⊙⊙pƺ," she adds observationally. "I ƺupp⊙ƺe it... ƺhimmieƺ a l⊙t when y⊙u danƺe."

"Yeah, that does seem to 6e the 9,oint oƒ this damn thing," Yoxang agrees. "So anyway, I'm headed out ƒor the night--gotta do a last-minute dou'6lecheck oƒ everything ƒor tomorrow, and I'll 6e hanging out with Cocoda and her coven ƒor the day. They're on 9,alanquin duty, so it's 6etter iƒ we're all in the same 9,lace to start with." She captchalogues the outfit and waves as she walks out the door.

Blakei watches her go, her eyes locked on her back until she's out of hearing range. "Ʒ⊙ when y⊙u were talking ab⊙ut her great h⊙nkerƺ, y⊙u meant the h⊙rnƺ in her ⊙utfit."

"Yep!" you agree innocently.

It's fun to watch Blakei's expression. You see it shift from realization of her 'misinterpretation', through the contemplation of what it means that you of course meant something 'else', briefly passing through panic that she might have to explain certain aspects of slang, and then relief when she realizes that no, she doesn't, you're not asking. It's when she finally has a small amused grin at the ridiculousness of the situation that you spring the trap.

"Of course zhe's also zhota fine pair of rumble spheres."

And instantly Blakei's eyes widen as she spins in shocked embarrassment, and you spring back with a giggle and she starts chasing you, any worry she had forgotten.