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An abandoned rule63 Calamity

Summary:

I've abandoned this thing and have no motivation to continue it, maybe I'll reboot it idk

Gijinka, or Moe Anthropomorphism: Turning inanimate objects, non-cute things or people of any kind, into cute humanoid people. An Internet phenomenon.
Special Thanks to Kerubii on Deviantart, found here: https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii
==============================================================
Yharim thought his conquest of the world would be easy, given his unnatural strength.
However, some other power is at play here, and the world changes in many ways he would never have expected...
===============================================================

Notes:

So Kerubii on Deviantart made gijinkas of the Calamity Mod bosses ages ago.
And about like... ever since the start of 2020, I've wanted to make this work.
Put all of the lore pieces together, have Yharim make the ULTIMATE harem, only for The Terrarian to rip it apart and kill them all.
...
Alright, that sounds kind of unfair...
Goddammit why alright fine I'll rewrite it a bit brb.
Ok nobody has to die... right?
I can't choose, please somebody help me.

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: Prologue One: Tyrant (part One) :

Summary:

The Jungle Tyrant, Yharim, rises to power, and recruits a great few powerful entities to serve him in his planetary conquest.
As he deals with a threat caused by one of his new minions, however, something goes wrong...

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Prologue: Tyrant (Part One) :

Yharim POV:

Yharim had been born with unnatural strength, though it only truly manifested itself once it was much too late.

Born to his mother and... an unknown father, perhaps none at all. Perhaps concieved through her sheer power alone.

His mother had been a powerful ranger, the wielder of the Astreal Defeat, and had given him the Dragon Egg so he could have a true companion.

Said mother, and said Dragon Egg, along with all that he had, his entire family, and Yharim himself, had been thrown into the lava of the Underworld once his brother had tried to summon Xeroc.

Xeroc had cursed the boy, driving him to an insanity that the Jungle Tyrants of the time deemed worthy of entirely eliminating.

Thus, Yharim was burned, betrayed, alone.

The heat of the lava, however, hatched the Dragon Egg even faster, into a great and mighty beast.

This beast, a dragon, would later be named: "Yharon", after his master Yharim, but at the time the dragon picked the burned little man up and allowed him to ride on his back.

The godly soul of this dragon would comfort the future ruler for many years to come.

For now, however, they flew towards the Jungle Temple.

To say it was a curb-stomp battle would undermine the true power that had been unlocked within the now furious Yharim.

He stormed into the throne room, and demanded answers, answers which he would neither get nor need.

Rhetorical answers provided from rhetorical questions, all disregarded as the Tyrants declared that he was to be killed... again.

However, Yharim refused to be put through such pain again.

As such, he raised his right arm, fist clenched and shaking from pure RAGE.

ADRENALINE coursing through him, he slammed his fist down on... something.

The specifics did not matter, but the effects certainly did.

For whatever exactly happened, it created a great shockwave which rung throughout the entire world of Calaria (Terrarity), from the ocean he had known in his not-that-long-ago youth, to the other ocean on the other side of the world, and was heard by everyone in between.

Needless to say, everyone caught within the epicentre of the blast, save for Yharim and his Dragon, were wiped clean out of existence, their souls being erased from all the afterlifes possible, sent below Hell itself. There, they would end up in a place not even Yharim could venture into:

The VOID. The true, deep VOID at the heart of the world.

Through a single strike, Yharim had overthrown the Tyrants, and all it had cost him was his right arm.

Broken, but it could be fixed later.

For now, he had decided he was the new King, and might as well take over, and remake this world so that nobody would ever have to suffer again.

He called the citizens of the Jungle to make an announcement:

"I've come to make an announc-"

Not that one.

Rather, he made an announcement that he was the new King, and that he would take over the world.

Nobody dared oppose him, at least at first, for all of them had heard that shockwave from when he'd killed the Tyrants.

They recognised and accepted his claim to power.

And thus, Yharim's conquest began.


Along the way, he added many powerful allies to his side:

Draedon. The cyborg most renowned throughout the lands.

Lured in with the promises of endless funding and test subjects, the mad scientist was child's play to turn to his side.

And he was no child.

He was Jungle Tyrant, Yharim.

His loyal pet dragon, or by his title, the Jungle Dragon, Yharon, was not only an ally in that he was a force of nature in war, but also in emotional terms.

Many times Yharim had sought Yharon's soothing Godly Aura, just so he could fight off his growing depression and deep sorrow.

It is said that he never truly recovered from his entire family's death, but at least he had Yharon to call family.

His... brother.

The one he never had, but had now.

His armies were great, but one of his greatest warriors was no ordinary warrior.

She was, instead, the Brimstone Witch, Calamitas.

Or, as people otherwise called her, Supreme Calamitas.

The tortured soul who had similarly lost her own family, and had sought guidance to control her unstoppable powers over the Abyssal Flames.

Of course, Yharim gave no such guidance, instead wanting to use her power for his own purposes.

Of course, however, he twisted his words in such a way that she would accept, and without question, either.

Which, as you would expect, would be a difficult task for any other person, other than the endlessly charismatic Yharim.

Thus, Supreme Calamitas was recruited into his army.

Other than those three, there really was nobody else that he could remember from all that time ago, that really stood out beyond being a faceless warrior decked out in armour made by Draedon himself.

Yharim himself suited himself in a specially custom-design version of the Auric Tesla Armour, which would be his new appearance for the rest of time.

In fact, many would not even know he had a former appearance.

So... what even happened back then?

Well, he'd asked Amidias to help him summon the Moon Lord.

The Dark God imprisoned on the Moon eons ago by Xeroc, or so he'd heard.

Killing him would be the first step of many to getting his revenge upon that God of Light, at last.

But Amidias refused.

And thus, he swam out of the Sea, and told Calamitas to burn it to ash.

Within mere minutes, the Sea was nothing more than a Desert, though the remains of it Sunk deeper underneath.

Another major occurence was what he would describe best as:

"The Beginning of the Change."


Word came to him, one day, that a "giant sentient vibrant purple worm creature" had consumed an entire platoon, one which he had thought to be of his greatest soldiers.

At first, he became enraged at this new enemy, but after calming down, saw it in a different light:

Why should he destroy this worm, if it can outmatch even his best soldiers?

Thus, he went to an open area.

Unmasked his almighty, GODly power.

And waited.

Yharon, of course, was not far away, ready to pick up his master and destroy the Worm if it decided not to join.

Supreme Calamitas was also nearby, similarly acting as bait for the Worm.

Ironic that a species best known for being bait itself, was being itself baited.

Regardless, a purple rip in reality as mortals comprehended it was torn apart in front of Yharim.

A great and powerful, and certainly purple, WORM emerged, charging towards the unflinching Yharim.

It decided to toy with its prey, scanning the environment around him, and seeing the other two.

It... he sensed that he was vastly outmatched, and this was when the one who had summoned him called to him.

Yharim called the Devourer to look at him.

That the worm had eaten many of his army, making a mockery of them.

And giving this antagonistic worm an offer, to join the very army it had attacked not so long ago.

He, the Devourer, accepted.

Draedon armoured the worm with Cosmolite plating, allowing it to more easily traverse the dimensions with less risk to himself.

And therein lied the true beginning of the Change.


It had ripped a hole in reality, one that it could not seal up again.

A VOID.

The Ceaseless Void, to be specific.

That thing would be a huge risk to all of Yharim's kingdom, and as such he set to making a plan to seal the Void.

It was settled quickly:

Draedon and Yharim would throw Cosmolite Bricks at it, whilst Calamitas and the Devourer would use their magic to stabilise it, reinforce the dimensions around it, assisted by the inherent properties of Cosmolite.

The plan went quite successfully at first, the gravitational effect of the Void shrinking more and more as the two used more magic on it.

...

And then, from the Void.

Something.

...maroon?

Whatever it was, it did... something, said... something, though nobody knew what.

And, when the light faded...

Well, Yharim didn't feel any different, and Draedon beside him looked just as normal as always.

However, the same could not be said for the four others present before him.

Almost unrecogniseable, but he could still see identifying features that gave away who they were.

For before him, there were four... cute women.

Notes:

Cute women are the best summary of what a Gijinka is.
Though Gijinkas can be male since boys and men can be cute, female ones outnumber them by a metric hecclode.
And yes, hecclode.
Cute women and cute girls.
Or, if you're Kerubii, they can also be sexy.
I mean, just look at Perforator-chan. Boom.

Chapter 2: Prologue Two: Tyrant (Part Two)

Summary:

It's not just those four that turn into gijinkas...
They were just the start.

Notes:

Just linking Kerubii's DeviantArt profile doesn't help much.
So here's all the bases I went off of when I described these characters:
DoG:
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Doggo-wallpaper-789954985
Void:
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Sentinels-809099176
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/of-the-735685695
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Sentinels-of-theafdal-fdnaalkdzvnzldbfkagrew-735125839
Calamitas:
https://imgur.com/a/LCptvCL
(Note: That ^ one has the canon human Calamitas (as well as a few others that are used like Yharim and Draedon), the one below is Kerubii's Gijinka of her.)
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Commission-LEGENDAR1A-Calamitas-778138209
Yharon:
https://sta.sh/0vtvd1g5c7p
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Hot-704721753
https://sta.sh/01m5jcop46v8
https://sta.sh/024tfi4l0xba
Clonelamitas:
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Calamitas-697950309

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Prologue Two: Tyrant (Part Two) :

Yharim POV:

There were four cute women in the place of his three greatest warriors, and that Void they had been sealing.

From left to right, there was the Devourer, the Void, Calamitas, and the fallen Yharon.

The Devourer had turned from a giant, metal-plated worm, into an average hight, pink haired woman with metal armour, pinkish skin and one long braid of hair that floated behind her as if to mimic the segments she once had.

The armour and all of her colouring clearly reflected what she had once been, clearly identifying her as the Devourer she had been once.

The Voidhad ceased being a mere hole in reality, and instead stood, floating, at the same height as what had been the Devourer.

Similarly coloured metal plates made up a dress that covered most of her body, though an odd glowing dark energy took its place near where her stomach would be.

The plates covered her arms as if they were gauntlets. She had two wings that flapped ceaselessly, and hair hid her eyes from sight, though an energy emitting from that area hinted that said eyes were not something he would want to see.

The Void had been the source of all of this. Something from beyond this world had forced them all into admittedly cute, but likely much weaker female humanoid bodies.

Supreme Calamitas, of course, had been human before, but where she had been darker skin, now it was pinkish like the rest of them. (Except Draedon but he's a cyborg shush ok.)

Her outfit had changed, too, from the Demonshade armour she had crafted herself, to something more out of an anime.

A typical pointy witch's hat, a much more red and bland outfit, with golden highlights and a darker black around her chest area, with golden tights covering all of her legs.

Her eyes were as more red than the orange-red they had been, and her hair had gone from white to a similar pink to the one the Devourer had.

The last one for now was Yharon, who had at some point fallen from his watching post in the sky.

Or rather, hers now.

The four eyes had become two, though they were still orange-yellow like they always had been.

What more was there to say?

It was as if his Dragon had shrunken himself down a lot, and attached his back portion to the back of a woman armoured in his own skin.

She wore a crown on her head, or more of a tiara, but nonetheless her hands were no ordinary human hands.

The claws of the Dragon Yharon had made their way into being the hands of the Human Yharon.

The purple bands around his arms and neck had stayed, though of course also shrunken to fit this smaller human.

Overall, the four were obviously still the same as before, just stuck in these odd humanoid bodies.

Yharim looked at Draedon, who looked at him, having clearly made the same assessment:

"Whatever was on the other side. Of that Void. We cannot face it."

...wrong assessment, but a valid one regardless.

"We must see if they are still the same people as before."

His three greatest assets, of course, had been sentient before, capable of talking, even, and had minds and memories of their own.

Yharon was the first to regain conciousness, and upon sight of his-her master, flew over to him, worried:

"Master, are you alright? What happened?"

"It would seem that an unknown force beyond that Void in reality has altered your form slightly."

At this, she seemed confused.

"I thought your form was... altered..."

At this, she seemed to finally notice something wrong with her form, looking at her arms and realising at last how much different they were.

For they were much less... fluffy, than they had unfortunately been before.

And then, inevitably, she began to panic:

"What has happened to me?!"

"Not much. You are just. Now. A human. With Dragon-like. Features."

One that was as tall as Yharim and Draedon, at nine foot tall, unlike the rest of them who were closer to six feet.

Except, of course, Calamitas, who was still just Five foot Four. Not Jardon levels of short but a bit shorter than all the others.

This was clearly seen when she stood up to her full height, having regained conciousness now.

As did the Devourer moments later.

Oh, and the Void had already been awake and actively flying away before.

Not for long, however, as when Devourer awoke, and saw what still looked like its-her target, reached out with her powers and turned the skies Purple.

The increased gravity alone was not enough to drag the Void down, but a concentration of her old powers allowed the woman that had been the Devourer to slam the Void down to the ground.

It-no, she showed no signs of feeling pain at that, though she made no efforts to get up.

At this moment the humanised worm finally realised something that should have been obvious.

It looked at her arm, and spoke the truth:

"Wait. This isn't my body..."

And, having made that realisation, looked at the Void, seeing that it too had been effected.

And after a step back, looked around, seeing Yharon and Calamitas had been Changed, but not Draedon or Yharim.

"..."

Awkward pauses all around from all present.

Yharon stared at her master, and at the Devourer, who stared at her, Draedon and Yharim, whose focus was entirely directed towards the Void.

He made a decision.

He stepped forwards, walking towards what had been the Void.

With his 9 foot tall gait he easily got to where that shy, hiding woman was lying on the ground.

The one who was backing away as he approached, in a futile effort to spare herself.

"You are excused."

That changed her once more.

She clearly heard it, and her reaction was to stare at his masked face as if judging him, mistrusting him.

That fear proved her innocence in the matter.

And besides, her powers would certainly be of use to Yharim, just as the Devourer's own had.

"Would you like to join my Army?"

A simple request asked of the Jungle Tyrant, expecting a response of any kind.

It was unknown if the Void cou-

"Yes."

...

That voice sent shivers down his spine, an unnatural, otherworldly whisper into his mind.

It didn't matter to him, however, as he could easily butcher this thing whole.

He offered his hand, and helped the Void up.

"Would you like me to demonstrate my powers?"

"Yes."

Once that was confirmed, she spread her tiny little wings and began to fly into the air, releasing from her body Dark Energies of unknown origins.

A gravitational effect could be felt, even by someone weighed down by heavy metal armour like Yharim.

Calamitas, on the other hand, was too light, and thus was yeeted towards the void like a magnet.

...and subsequentially grabbed by the equally little woman, who then let go of the effect.

So now Calamitas was stuck up there with a dangerous force that-

Oooor she could just lower herself and the Witch down to the ground. That works too.


So not much had happened after that.

They'd accepted their new forms as human women, and went back to the Temple to rest once more.

Well, actually, the Devourer and her Void went into her personal pocket dimension to rest.

This was, of course, when Calamitas struck.

For, you see, Yharim and Draedon, and many of the lesser scientists that he had at his disposal, had been working on a secret project:

A clone of Calamitas, so that they could counteract her powers if the need arose.

However, Calamitas herself had found out not long ago.

Due to this, when they returned to the Temple, she set about carrying out her rebellion.

She unleashed the Golem as a distraction, and went to find and unleash the Clone, too, as well as find notes on Yharim's enemies.

When she got to the clone and released her, however, that light.

That damn light.

All of its colours surrounded the Clone's giant mechanical eye, reshaping it into another woman.

Not the same as Calamitas herself, and very much dissimilar in most ways.

Much more spiky, with black ashen spikes of villainy making her shoulders higher than usually possible, and without clear legs or arms either.

Not even to mention how her left eye was bandaged up tightly, and her right eye's scelera blackened, with a glowing red iris pointing right at her superior.

Calamitas didn't know what to do with her clone, so she just took her with her for use in the Rebellion she was to join.

She got some notes on Braelor and Statis and she also got the hecc out of there.

Once she was out of there, she went and found the rebellion leaders, giving them all the support she could.

An army was to rise to counteract Yharim's Army.

Thus, there were three major forces in this world:

Yharim's Army.

The Rebellion.

And... PROVIDENCE.

Notes:

This chapter was meant to be the last chapter, introducing all the Calamity Gijinkas, but that's a stupid task to try.
Give it like two or three more and then TERRARIAN will finally appear.
Then it'll be much easier to predict, since it'll just be the one boss per chapter schedule, which is obvious and easy to manage.
Anyways Providence is here next chapter too.
Don't mind the out-of-order lore ok though this is kind of based on the lore, in lore Ceaseless isn't sentient ok.
I briefly thought Slime God would be on Providence's side, then I realised that Statis' clan worships Slime God and was like ohhh.
See ya tomorrow probably lol.

Chapter 3: Prologue Three: The Rebellion and Purity:

Summary:

The three forces, of Tyranny, of Rebellion, and of Purity, clash.
Change occurs fast in these times...

Notes:

Once again, sauce is here: (convenient titles are convenient.)
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/U-N-M-O-I-S-T-worm-741115513
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/CrabUwUon-786825332 / https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Crabulon-wallpaper-792655889
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Perforator-732680078
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Some-hive-mind-thing-751598537
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/SlimeDudesDeux-733445194
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Sentinels-809099176
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Providence-696305242 (note this is the older one)
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Prov-840091352 (note this is the updated one)
https://sta.sh/0265tzsof44q (also the updated one)
https://www.deviantart.com/kerubii/art/Profaned-Guardians-807248145 (meh)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Prologue Three: The Rebellion and Purity:

Calamitas POV:

The Rebellion consisted of many who saw Yharim's rule as a threat to the world as a whole:

Braelor and Statis, the leaders.

The Sime God, the one that Statis' clan had worshipped before all but him were wiped out.

The Hive Mind and Perforators (and their Hive), having been drawn out of their respective Evil Biomes by two of the four Guardians of the Slime God.

The Eater of Worlds and Brain of Cthulhu, having followed their superiors of Evil.

The Five guardians of the Slime God themselves: the blue King Slime, one for Corruption, one for the Crimson, the pink Queen Slime for Providence's Hallow, and one with no apparent theme... not yet, at least.

The Desert Scourge and Crabulon, having somehow escaped from the Desert and the Underground Caverns to seek the one who had burned them...

An army of many brave warriors who would be nothing next to the Godslayers and Auric Elites.

The Archmage Permafrost, fearing the end of the world that may be brought upon by Yharim's conquest.

The greatest Dryad, Silva.

The Wraith of unknown origins, Signus, only here to serve a Contract...

And now, joining their ranks, Calamitas and her Clone.

Upon her arrival, she made her non-aggression clear.

It was a quick process for her to be accepted, and once there they discussed a plan of attack.

Once all of them had gathered around, however, something happened.

Like with the Clone, many of the beings gathered began glowing in those colours.

When the Glowing ended, seven beings had been Changed:

The unmoist worm of the Desert became a heavily tanned woman who was actually shorter than Calamitas, but not by much, in scaly armour much like what had been her hide.

The towering, glowing, Infestated Crab became a much less towering, but still glowing and Infestated woman wearing scaly armour and dangerously short shorts.

The Perforators and their Hive looked... well, the sight turned the asexual Calamitas Lesbian, as it was quite the revealing outfit, no protective value in the slightest.

Showing off her thighs and her hipbones and also her shoulders and enhancing her breasts with a contrast between the red everywhere else and the Yellow that covered that area.

Not to mention she was wearing a scarf, and her Perforator Worms were now part of her hair.

Oh, and her legs were worms now. Nice.

Same with the Hive Mind...

Well, at first the Hive Mind seemed to turn into a drawn version of itself, much cleaner and with a sarcastic looking, heavily-lidded eye, before changing once more.

Into something much more anime-like, similar to the rest of them, it was tight-fitting and showed off her thighs for (ZA WARUDO!) the world to see.

Last but not least, the Slime God and its guardians:

The Crimulan Slime God had turned into a red maid, seemingly upset at the world as a whole.

Her Corruption counterpart, on the other hand, didn't quite seem to care, blankly staring ahead with her eyes covered in bangs, dressed similarly but in Corruption themes.

The King and Queen Slimes had also been turned into maids, the King now being a blue, female maid, much thiccer than his-er, her counterpart, who was also a female maid, pink and getting pinker by the second at the attention she was getting.

And their leader, the Core, had turned into a much smaller woman, floating in the air.

Or... perhaps she was not a woman, but rather a little girl?

Whatever age she was, she'd been around since the very start of the rise of life upon this world.

But now she was spinning in a circle uncontrollably fast, making the red maid facepalm.

All in all, not much had really changed here, but-

"YOU!"

Oh, right.

The newly-female Desert Scourge was glaring at, pointing at Calamitas, blaming her for something...

Oh, that? A simple fix was necessary then:

-"*sigh* yes, I was the one who burned your seas, at Yharim's command. He is the one to blame, I was merely carrying out an order."

-"I am not your enemy, Desert Scourge. Yharim is."

She didn't seem to accept that, not fully anyways, but didn't make any moves to attack either.

Signus spoke up:

"What is the plan now?"

The Wraith's voice was just as otherworldly as the Void's, and clearly disturbed everyone present.

Even Statis, whose clan had derived their arts of stealth from the wraith, was unsettled, but persisted to give it its role:

"Well, first of all, you shall use your powers as an assassin to eliminate Yharim in his own Throne Room."

A task which would be fatal for all but the greatest of people, and Signus was amongst said greatest by a long shot.

It accepted the contract, and at last faded out of sight to complete its task.


Devourer POV:

The Devourer of Gods was... content, with this new form.

Her powers over Space and lasers had remained the same as before, only this time she had to rip the seams of reality apart manually through her human arms, for otherwise it took like ten seconds to even open one portal.

A necessary caveat to the otherwise much more optimal form.

For in this form, she could still fly, and at the same speeds as before, not to mention more control over where her body is at all times.

The only other downside is that she had to Devour through her human mouth, but oh well.

Besides, there wasn't really anyone to devour anymore, not since it had struck down the Astrum Deus, and gained his powers over the Cosmos.

Hmm... what had happened to that Godly Worm, anyways?

A cry broke apart her mind's wandering. What was that creature?

She scoured the lands with her eyes, which had surprisingly been enhanced by the Change, and saw the source:

Another worm.

But, as she flew over to it to attack and kill it, she noticed something:

It was of her own species.

She hadn't seen that purplish skin in years now, having gotten used to its metal armour, and then her human skin.

But the sight of this other of her own kind...

Memories flashed through her mind, of the pain that she'd gone through.

Of all the days spent starved for food, all the prey that had mocked it by running away...

A surge of pity.

She picked up the worm, upset that she even could.

Her ungodly strength had, of course, persisted, but the fact the lesser worm fit in her armspan told the tale of a dying worm.

An unnacceptable fate for one who, like her, could be so much greater.

With the worm in her hands, she opened a portal to Yharim's Throne Room.

There, she made the request to Yharim to help this poor little worm that can't fend for itself.

Draedon must have materialised out of the air at some point during the request, for once she was done, and her request was accepted, made his own request:

"That worm. May I. Armour it?"

A request which would, of course, be granted.

Soon, it would be restored to health, but for now, our focus is on a shadow in Yharim's Throne Room...

Singus POV:

The Devourer and the Cyborg left, leaving only its target, and his bodyguard.

That humanoid dragon was definitely a threat to its mission, but of what degree was unknown for now.

It had been watching the Room for a while, (oh hi Mark.), and had identified that Yharon would not leave Yharim at any time.

Thus, it'd have to kill Yharim whilst also dealing with Yharon at the same time.

Hopefully this was not a task beyond its capabilities.

...

It materialised out of thin fucking air and began its attack, throwing a Kunai at Yharim's right arm, for that was the one that had taken out the previous Jungle Tyrants, the more dangerous of the two arms.

Followed swiftly by another Kunai in the other arm, disabling his means of defence at once.

Dark Lanterns appeared between the Wraith and the Dragon, blocking her from defending, or so it would seem...

Yharon was fiercely loyal to her master, though, and charged right through the Lamps without a care for the damage, breathing fire from her mouth a swarm of Detonating Flames, and clawing in its direction.

Of course, the Wraith dodged easily.

Yharon's attack patterns, since she did attack in a pattern, were swiftly analysed and dodged by the Wraith, as it threw Kunai and Lamps at her every time she paused for breath.

Entirely forgetting the Tyrant it had been tasked with killing, until his sword swung right below where it floated.

Ah. So he had recovered from his wounds.

The Wraith focused its attack upon the Tyrant instead, though instinctively dodging his pet's attacks with ease.

After a while, Yharim called Yharon to his side, and climbed on to her back, riding his dragon with practiced ease.

All that went through the Wraith's mind was "does this man want his pet to die so badly?"

Not a single attack had hit it, and it had done heavy damage to both of its targets...

At once, however, the Tyrant pulled out an item.

A miniature worm?

A loud, otherworldly noise echoed around the Wraith as something awoke.

It nearly got caught by its tackle, but dodged her at the last second.

The Devourer of Gods!

...was just a puny human.

Easy to dodge, but she did catch it off guard on many occasions dealing punishing amounts of damage to Signus.

Enough to make it find the effort no longer profitable!

Thus, it shifted back into the shadows, going to its home dimension, or at least the one it favoured using the most.

Unfortunately, said dimension was the exact same one the Devourer herself used.

It was thus hidden face to hidden face with the Ceaseless Void, who had been kept in there for safety reasons.

Reasons like, oh I dunno, the fact that she's a danger to the world as a whole?!

Anyways the Sentinel and the to-be Sentinel met, and after a brief silence, attacked one another.

Dark Lamps met Dark Energies perfectly, each one a match for the other, none being able to get the upper hand.

And then the Devourer herself arrived.

Even in a two-on-one, Signus could not be defeated, and a ceasefire was declared.

The Devourer proposed that Signus become one of her Sentinels, like how Ceaseless was.

Granting it power, and free access to this dimension, in exchange for its very soul, and eternal loyalty to her.

The Wraith accepted.

Thus the two went back to Calamia (Terrarity), to Yharim's Throne Room, where Yharim and Yharon had calmed down.

Or, they had been, until they saw Signus again, at which Yharim pointed his sword at it.

Only for the Devourer to announce that Signus was now her Envoy, one of her Sentinels alongside the Void and that new Worm.

Upon the announcement being made, Signus, too, began to Change.

When the light cleared, not much had changed in the already-a-shapeshifter Cosmic Wraith, for she was wearing the same Purple Robe as before, only now there was a body beneath its concealment.

A female body, in a suit, wearing a mask and covering her right eye with her dark purple hair, and though it was hard to tell, in her hands she held two kunai.

Cosmic Lamps lit up around her, but she dismissed them with a quick glare at one of them, making the others retreat also.

Yharim accepted this new development.

Thus, he tasked his newest minion with one goal, ironically opposite to what had been asked last time:

"Kill the leaders of that rebellion."

She nodded much more clearly, and faded into the shadows once more.


Calamitas POV:

As they marched towards the Jungle Temple, they had to cross the Hallow.

Providence's domain.

They had been briefed on the Profaned Goddess, and her mission of Purity.

Needless to say, she would never cooperate with those Evil Biome Guardians.

On the other hand, however, she would be a great ally, as much as Calamitas herself was to them.

So they took the chance.

They crossed the Hallow, but taking a detour to go to the Profaned Temple.

There, Calamitas, Statis, Braelor, Silva, Permafrost, the Slime God, the Queen Slime and Crabulon would go and seek audience with Providence herself.

The meeting itself happened, and it was... intense.

Providence made her intentions of burning the Evil that was within the Slime God into ash, and the same with Crabulon.

Though in the end, her goals also included eliminating Yharim, and with their combined knowledge and strength, they would be integral in a fight against him.

So yes, Providence and the Empress of Light now joined the Rebellion, reinforced by an army of thousands of Profaned Guardians.

Their Combined Armies stormed towards the Temple, morale increased greatly by the reinforcements, though the tension between the Evil Armies and the Holy Army was so thick, not even their thighs compared.

Wait what.

At some time, a Change began.

Providence, and three of her Guardians, began to glow with The Colours.

Surprisingly, however, when the Colours settled, there was not one, but two Providence.

One was essentially just a giant woman, with little covering her private areas besides a ring-like structure around her chest, and a crystal held by two rocks around her waist area.

That was a sight nobody wanted to see, especially not from such a Holy Goddess. It looked... old.

Course, rough and irritating, and it got everywhere.

The other one was much more fitting, actually looking like her, with a bandana wrapped around her head looking like her old face, whilst rock-like and wood-like growths covered much of her body.

Though, of course, her thighs and navel were for all to see, more so than the Evil Guardians'.

She looked at her other self, who looked back at her.

Awkward silence distracted them from what those three Profaned Guardians had become, which was... not that different.

They were all just mini-providences wearing their old selves' armour and weapons.

Not much more needed to be said about them.

And not much came of there being two Providences, either.

They accepted each other as equals, and equally led their army onwards.

...even if the more accurate Providence was only around the same size as everyone else, and her "older" self was still the same gigantic woman as always.


Devourer POV:

An approaching army could be heard, but all that she and Draedon could care about was this worm and its armour.

She had pre-emptively given it a name: "Storm Weaver", and made it a Sentinel, but for now she would have to wait for Draedon to be finished plating the armour to it.

Said armour, mind you, was bending its mandibles and tail. A design choice she did not agree with, but the cyborg had insisted, and thus she had no choice.

"The armour. Is. Complete."

Finally! Took him long enough.

She was alllowed in to the room, and what she saw both awed and terrified her:

It was a worm, much like she had been.

But it was not an ordinary land-dwelling animal.

Instead, the lesser Devourer had been turned into a weapon of war.

Heavily armoured and with spikes all over, the one thing she saw was its pain.

A great pain which may never go away again.

She was conflicted on whether to attack Draedon for this crime against her kind, or to comfort the Worm-

The second one.

Going over to the worm and taking it out of the equipment it was strapped into, she broke her character as a "Devourer of Gods":

She grabbed the Worm, and hugged it, crying tears of empathy for its pain.

Not caring that it began to Glow.

In fact, she liked that fact.

That child's voice did not merely speak "gijinkawa, gijinkawa~" then, but also gave a few words of comfort to the Devourer:

"There, there, Devourer, it's alright. No need to cry, your child is safe."

And in her arms there was a little girl, hugging her in return, though for a moment she thought she could feel another hug on her back...?

The child that had been a worm broke up the hug first, taking a look at who was essentially her mother now, allowing her to do the same.

A smile crossed the child's face, with her former mandibles now horns on her helmet, she had the same pink hair as her mother, and wore similar, but lighter armour that covered most of her child body.

Except the knees, but those were acceptable for extra mobility.

Well, that would be useful, save for the fact that she was floating.

"Well. If the two of you. Are done."

Draedon's metallic voice broke their hapiness like he always broke people's lives.

Behind him, some mechanical noises whirred and grinded.

Two demonic-looking Eyes, an edgy-looking Skull, and an insultingly-existent Worm made in reference to the Devourer's previous look, along with four floating arms of various function, appeared behind him.

"There is. A war. Coming this way."

"It is time. To be Playing. With Firepower."


Third Person POV:

And thus, the Combined Armies met Yharim's own army, and all of his monstrosities came face-to-face with opposing beasts of various kinds.

Many attractive women stood on both sides of the fight, uncertain of the outcome.

But one thing was for certain:

There would be no retreat, only capture or conquest.

Neither side would back down.

They would rather die, or be captured, than live humiliated that they even tried.

...

Except the Archmage Permafrost.

Notes:

Note: the Mechanical Bosses and the Lesser Evil Guardians don't have Kerubii-approved Gijinkas, so I won't make them Gijinkas.
King Slime should be a maid, gimme one second.
Actually so should Queen Slime.
No, Empress of Light is already too much of a Gijinka and too recent to have one at all anyways, but with Queen Slime I can Interpolate.
Sorry for the cliffhanger, and sorry I've broken the two-day-held "one a day" schedule, I'll take next day off too, sorry I'll leave ya hanging for a while lol.
Prepare for disappointment... I'm not that good.

Chapter 4: Prologue Four: The War (part one)

Summary:

Thanks to CornucopiaOfMemes, this war can be expanded upon.
--------------------------------------------------------
The forces of the Rebellion and the Tyrant's Army clash.
Who shall emerge, from the ashes of Calamity?

Notes:

Thank you CornucopiaOfMemes for singlehandedly deciding what this chapter would be about.
I had no idea how to write this chapter until I got all of your ideas from that comment you left.
Also...
Sorry for not working on this earlier I watched all of JoJo Part 1-5 and also all of Konosuba.
And on top of that I got drawn into the JoJo fandom a lot.
But A Calamity of Gijinkas shall be my new magnum opus, just you wait.
I'm pretty sure I'll have to split this chapter into two.
And yes, all of this is prologue.
The main story is about Merg. The YouTuber.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Prologue Four: The War (Part One) :

Permafrost POV:

The Archmage of Ice, Permafrost had been reluctant to join this war effort, this rebellion against Yharim's forces.

He would much prefer to just stay in his Castle of Ice all day long, protecting his great library of forbidden knowledge about the fundamentals of magic itself.

Well, actually, it was a fully comprehensive library compiling everything there was to know about how to cast spells, how to gain mana, how to direct your spells, what spells there even are, and many, maaaany more subjects that most would never be able to comprehend.

Right now, him being out of his Castle was a great risk.

Statis had known where it was, and who knows what that guy wanted.

Ninjas were never to be trusted.

Their very nature lies in Deception, smoke and waters, stunlocks and slices, strategic planning of every single word they say in order to lure their target into as false of a sense of security as they can manage, before then slitting their throats.

Or stabbing them in their weakest spot.

Nonetheless Statis was trustworthy in the ice-cold eyes of the thousands-of-years old Permafrost.

He trusted the untrustable.

Statis was the only one who knew where the Castle was, besides Permafrost himself.

The books were safe.

...

Right?

Well...

Doubts filled the mind of the Ice Mage.

Why was he even going to war, anyways?

Wasn't the entire reason he had locked himself in his Castle in the first place to prevent his magics from being used by those who would abuse it?

Statis was an odd fellow.

Despite being a ninja, he had an odd amount of integrity...

Such integrity, in fact, that it glowed around him, like an aura, a blue aura that the Archmage's trained eyes could see clearly...

And in fact, he had noticed that Statis' left eye had been glowing an even more vibrant dark blue.

The sign of Sletror, God of Deception.

And to think he had not realised it before-

But then he reconsidered.

If Yharim was not stopped here and now, he would look for the Castle.

He would find it.

And he would abuse it.

That was why the Archmage had even accepted in the first place.

...

He would be a great contribution to the war effort.

But...

Would it be enough?

Sure, they did have Supreme Calamitas, the right hand of the left-handed Yharim...

But there was no guarantee that she was capable of defeating Yharim at all.

Everyone else on the team save for Providence and Permafrost, and maybe the leaders themselves, Braelor and Statis, paled in comparison to the solid team that was Yharim's forces...

...

The area around him went quiet.

Too quiet.

And also too dark.

Providence alone as a goddess of the Sun was enough to light up the night even if they had tried to attack at night, which they hadn't.

They'd specifically went to attack at daytime so that, first of all, Providence and her armies would be empowered, and second of all, that the Empress of Light would be enraged into "instant kill any enemy in sight" mode.

But all around him was a darkness that not even the night could provide.

Just what was... huh?

That wasn't just ordinary darkness, nor even "advanced darkness".

There was clearly the texture of SMOKE-

"Enjoying being here god of ice?"

An otherworldy voice whispered around him.

The voice of a legion, clearly one of perhaps thousands of ninjas, all ready to pounce on him.

"Come on now, there's no need to get in denial!"

About what, exactly? There was nothing to deny, just some observations of the phenomena around him.

"Let me ask you a simple question."

It was a dreadful feeling all around, discomfort seemingly maximised in every way.

This being was pausing every few seconds, its voice even as an echo sending chills all throughout his already-cold body, and at the exact moment he begins to relax it comes back in full force.

"Why are you here?"

The only colours he could see besides himself were black and blue, and even the blue wa-

"Answer my question. And then, you can leave."

So this was the source of the phenomena, right?

"What are you?"

"Hmmm? A person as old and wise as you resorts to a question as rude as that in response to my own question? How rude."

Despite the apparent insult, there was a loud and clear echo of laughter all around him, from the many, many ninjas he knew would strike at any moment, overwhelming him.

Even the mere force of their laughter alone was enough to send him into shock, paralysed with no ordinary fear, but utter terror as the being seemed to catch its breath...?

"Oh well. It's not like you can even do anything to me. Might as well answer your mortal question."

"I..."

Long pause.

Pins can be heard dropping onto the ground all around them.

"am..."

Smiles can be heard spreading across the faces of the ninjas all around him as Permafrost prepared to be killed in any number of ways.

The silent pause dragged on for what seemed to be hours, never once turning awkward, as there was no room for awkwardness in this nightmarescape.

And then.

It spoke.

In the exact same snarky, smiling, sinister voice of shadows that had echoed around him before.

Except this time.

There was no echo.

Just its 'name'.

"Stage Fright."

And only then, did the silence turn awkward.

"A silly name for such a grand phenomena."

At this remark, Stage Fright did something unexpected.

It actually screamed at the Archmage:

"YOU DARE CALL MY NAME SILLY, WHEN YOUR OWN NAME IS PERMAFROST, HUH? WHAT A FOOL."

And then calmed down the instant it uttered "fool".

"I only appear to those who are misguided and decieved."

Having pieced together all the clues about what this thing's powers were and had done, Permafrost came to a conclusion which would come out of his mouth mere moments later. (Moments being milliseconds.)

"I refuse to believe that you aren't Sletror, God of Deception himself, under a silly name."

Of all the reactions Permafrost had expected from this now-revealed-to-be-Sletror thing, what came next subverted everything:

"Actually I'm a Great Elemental Third. Specifically for Water, and for the Left eye. Can't you see that?"

It took a shape, a humanoid form.

One primarily composed of a navy-blue ninja outfit, but at the hands there were four swords each, and a vibrant blue cape trailed behind him, floating in some breeze that he chalked down to magic.

And the eye...

On its, his face, there was not much to see, as the mask covered all of it, but on his right.

There was something that drew his attention away from the piercing, vibrant blue eye on his left.

On the right was something... eldritch.

Like what Cthulhu had been depicted as before he had been slain and turned into the Crimson.

To most eyes, all they would see would be a pink mist hovering around Sletror's right eye.

But to Permafrost?

It was an eldritch abomination, a demonic creature or a PARASITE hiding in the POWER OF THE VOID.

Sletror himself didn't seem to mind, but he noticed that Permafrost had seen it, a blue coil washed it away, to be absorbed back into Sletror's body.

"Pay no mind to Vidslecror. He just wants me to go back to hunting my other parts. But Padriac Zozzrian wants me here, and I cannot resist him."

He in fact entirely dismisssed the entire subject and went back to the matter at hand:

"Anyways, I'm here for another reason beyond merely the author demanding it, at the reinterpreted wishes of one of his fellow authors."

"You see, one of my alter egos, of which I of course have many, is known as STAGE FRIGHT."

The humanoid ninja's form began to become more hazy, as if he were a shapeshifter beginning to shif- wait of course that was exactly what he was doing.

"And the name matters most to its purpose."

"For, you see..."

The smoke seemed to get closer to the Archmage, and he could not move.

The Ice wizard was frozen in place.

"STAGE FRIGHT's entire purpose is to find those who are doubtful, and... convince them to not doubt themselves."

The smoke before him began to take another shape.

"And it does it through a careful analysis of the target..."

Was that...

A hexagon.

What.

"And, more specifically..."

No, it was not a simple hexagon.

Sure, its shape was hexagonical (?) from the front side, but saying it was just a hexagon would be to miss the entire point.

Inside was a sillhouette of his Castle, and his own figure within that.

The hexagon itself?

A cube of ice, compressed to a size comparable to the Perforator Hive that he had seen during the gathering.

"What you fear."

Deep inside Permafrost's cold heart, frozen soul, he felt something.

A primal fear, from what that image represented.

"You already know your own fate, don't you?"

And yet just as cold an acceptance of it, of his prison for many, many years to come.

"Like Padriac who started this entire story, altering it from what the Calamity Team had originally wanted it to be..."

"...You believe you can change fate, change your DOOM, correct?"

No reply was needed.

This thing could read his mind, why speak it?

All around him, the smoke of that abomination began to fade.

"No matter what you do, Cryogen shall still be your fate. Your Doom."

The once-taunting sneers became chants of hopelessness, of Despair, and of Terror, even though the one at its core only wielded Deception.

"I have come here as STAGE FRIGHT to give you a choice."

"Either you can stay here and fight this pointless war..."

"..."

"Or, you can go back to your Castle. Hone your magics even more, so that when you are inevitably freed from your icy prison, you can teach the one who freed you even better."

The smoke had entirely dissapated, STAGE FRIGHT being the only remaining trace of Sletror's interference in this world.

"I can't change fate, and ultimately, neither can you, but this choice at least matters."

STAGE FRIGHT reverted to Sletror, who, despite his very nature as deception incarnate, had a genuine smile on his face.

"Make the right choice. Permafrost."

He then held something in his right hand, a smoke bomb. Then, he threw it onto the ground, releasing a cloud of smoke from which nothing emerged, and when it dissapated it left nobody behind.

...

What was the point of that entire encounter?

...

Sletror's watery words washed into his ears, and dispite his distrust he began to believe them.

So, he could not change the fact that he'd become a prisoner in his own Castle?

...

The utter pointlessness of the War set in, and froze into his mind.

He had not made his presence known to anyone there, not in a significant way at least.

The best thing for him to do, of course, was to just teleport back to his Castle.

He pulled his Ice Mirror out of his Archmage Robes and thus his presence on the battlefield was not reported ever since he disappeared into a Great cloud of smoke.

Of all those who participated in the War, Permafrost got the best outcome.

A bittersweet, temporary calm, but one that was better than no calm at all.

After all, underneath all of his Ice, he was a human, and all humans strive to achieve peace of mind ultimately.

Some have called Permafrost a "coward" for this, but many of those people were since reported to disappear in spontaneous clouds of smoke, source unknown.

His fate has not come yet.

But some others have met their fate by this point...


Statis POV:

It happened so quickly that not even a ninja, trained in arts of stealth and deception from birth, could see it.

One minute, he and Braelor, the two leaders of the Rebellion, were charging at Yharim, who had his pet Yharon flying above him, burning all those who came near her master.

And then, the next, he had a kunai in both of his arms, his legs, and his eyes, blinding and crippling him so he could not fight back.

A blinding light could be seen even through blind eyes, and that was the last thing he saw before Signus disintegrated his body.

Ironic, that he be slain by the very Sentinel his clan had derived their arts from.

He never got to see his friend Braelor get cleaved clean in half, quarters, uncountable fractions, all within seconds of Yharim looking at him.


From the safety of the Crimson, the Eye of Cthulhu watched as its Brain headed off to this pointless war.

Somehow or other, "Cthulu", the once powerful Dark God who had been struck down by Xeroc himself and had become the Crimson itself, had lost control of his own Brain.

That thing had just followed the Perforators and their Hive, who themselves had been following that Crimulan Slime God, who of course had been following the Slime God itself.

Even from afar, It Beckons It sees everything.

It sees the interference of two Gods above even Xeroc.

It sees the feminine Changes that befall many of the abominations and creatures in the war.

It sees the Stars Above begin to fall, Descend to Calamia (Terrarity) in an agonisingly slow fashion.

It sees through Sletror's smoke, the terror of the wise Archmage, his otherwise-seemingly cowardly retreat.

It sees the deaths of Statis and Braelor, the ultimately insignificant tools in the machinations of the Universe.

It sees the last stand of the First Dryad, Silva, against the Godly Dragon woman that had become of Yharon.

It sees the stacked odds in favour of Yharim from the very beginning.

And it sees that it is not the only one seeing this.

Though it did not care for any of this.

All of this was a mindless distraction from the awakening of NOXUS, who at the very least had made that Astral Virus it could see up there.

It was only a matter of time before the last gamble of the last Dark Gods hatched.

But until then, it could do nothing.

Another person watched, this one an actual person instead of a monstrosity or a Divine Entity.

The Guide.

The vessel for the Guardian of the World, the Wall of Flesh.

Armed with nothing but a bow and a quiver he merely watched as his Terraria became Calamity. Calamia (Terrarity).

Oh, and some popcorn, which of course he was eating.

Beside him was the Mutant, who was enjoying this sight, and eating popcorn right from a certain cornucopia.

Though, every few seconds, said cornucopia would utter a JoJoke from an unknown location, as if someone were Standing behind him.

Every time he checked, however, there was nothing and no-one there.

"What is a 'JoJoke', anyways, Jack?"

How this Mutant and this 'Jack', the Guide, had become friends is a mystery even to Padriac Zozzrian himself.

But from yet another place, the 'Tree of the Zetaverse', the tree upon which the Thorium myths of Yggdrasil itself grew from, the tree of Fate itself, another being similar to the Mutant watched also.

...disappointed that a knife had cut through the branch and cut off much of the possible future of this world.

Hmmm. Had "The Stars Above" had its root of Fate grow any further? And what of "Jetstream"?

But whatever.

Some Hive Mind Thing was trying to do something again, so he would have to fight him again, and lose just like he had to the ScriptMaster that one time that, no matter how much that Cornucopia tried, he would not forget.

The afterlife had been boring, so Padriac had immediately reset that Universe, only for everyone involved to continue remembering regardless.

Ugh.

How he wished that that boy and his stupid OCs would leave their hands off of his hard work.

But, at the end of the day, they were ABOVE him in every way possible. He could do nothing.

He couldn't even complain unless Padriac wanted him to.

And... well, yeah.

Padriac didn't want him to complain, and thus he didn't complain at all.

Next!


Yharim POV:

Having effortlessly eradicated who he had once believed to be a proper rival to his reign, he focused his eyes on another potential threat.

Or, rather, two.

Or, well, four, technically.

Supreme Calamitas, who needs no introduction.

Providence, the Profaned Goddess, who he would already fight no matter what.

Another Providence, to make matters worse.

And Calamitas' Clone, originally made to counter Calamitas.

As well as a seeminly endless Army of Profaned Guardians.

Alright.

Perhaps now he would meet a true rival to his power.


A few minutes earlier:

Devourer POV:

"With Firepower.".

Draedon finished up his monologue, and motioned to the two worm-women things.

"Ladies. First."

Even an emotionless cyborg like him with his monotonous voice sounded sarcastic, mocking, but the Devourer did not care.

She didn't want to send her new daughter to battle right away, but...

"But I wanna fight alongside you!"

The pout on her face was such a cute look on her that Devourer could never, even in alternate timelines, ever refuse.

"Well... it'll be dangerous, but I will protect you."

Somehow Weaver's face got even cuter with a smile lighting the entire room with a more natural light than the cold, sterile Draedon-funded light.

"But when I tell you to go, you must run away as quickly as possible. I don't want you to die, risking your life for mine."

And then the smile faded, before replacing itself with such a determined look that nobody could ever refuse:

"But we won't die, will we?"

Confusion filled Devourer's face as her child clarified.

Or at least tried to clarify before an odd CYAN light appeared beside her.

"Let's take this somewhewe else, ladies~"

The same Cyan light that had been responsible for the Change in the first place.

Now it appeared as a child, and they were all somewhere else...?

"Don't mind the change of scenery.~"

Padriac POV:

The light faded, and the child came into view properly.

Said child at first appeared female, but then again, gender doesn't matter for children.

It was just the way they were dressed and their overall cuteness that made them seem like a girl, exce-

"I'm gendew-neutwal for now, but that's not the point here~"

Anyways their hair was... odd. Multicoloured, with five ponytails (somehow) of green, orange, purple, yellow and cyan.

A maroon full-body dress covered their body, but due to them floating it barely went down to their knees, though they were wearing shorts underneath that.

Of course the shorts and their knee-length tights were cyan.

This child seemed to be obsessed with that colour, which likely sourced from their left eye, which glowed an intense form of said colour.

And they had a maroon-coloured scarf that probably had a mind of its own given how it was trailing behind the child.

"Anyways...~"

Their ever-present smile widened.

"Hiya! I'm Hypi!~"

Their cute voice soothed the Devourer, whose mind immediatedly went like this:

"Oh my god this child is so cute I want to protect them adopt them keep them away from the cruelty of this world-"

Her thoughts were interrupted by the child's concerned face, concern which slipped slightly into their voice:

"I alweady have enough pawents as it is, I don't need you two too..."

That confused the Storm Weeb who didn't realise that the Child saw her as parental too...

"Oh!~ Sorry for considering you to be motherly, Storm Weeb!~"

And then they seemed to realise that they'd had the owo-ifier activated the entire time and uselessly struggled to deactivate it.

"Hey! That's no faiw Padwiac Zozzwian! You can't just fowce me to speak like this!"

"Alright fine I'll disable the owo-ifier anyways please give me one real reason these two shouldn't be sent into the battlefield right now."

"But they're so cute! I'd die if you killed them..."

Visible pleas of innocence and cuteness crossed Hypi's face as they tried to tell their... uh. What was Padriac Zozzrian's relation to the Zozzrians and the family of Culplariez again?

Then he realised he was putting too much Orizifian into his CalamityMod fic.

Which... didn't exactly work out last time... (laughs nervously in AIVSRP)

So instead he sarcastically snapped his fingers together and sent the Devourer and the Storm Weaver down to the battlefield so they could fulfil CornucopiaOfMemes' wishlist.

Hypi, of course, was not happy, but Padriac Zozzrian is Padriac Zozzrian and has full control over every aspect of all of his...her? (hell if they even knew what their gender was but it's irrelevant you can call them he/him) characters.

Including their memories.

His heart was cold enough that he felt nothing when he got rid of Hypi's memories of bringing Devourer and Weeb up to their pocket dimension.

When he got rid of their motivation to ever do it again.

When he decided to send Devourer's daughter right at Calamitas' mechanical doppleganger.

When he stopped this stupid metajoke right in its tracks.


Weaver POV:

Not that many minutes ago, she had been a worm.

Before she had been found by her human counterpart bretheren, she had been starving to death, on the very edge of it, not to mention...

Well...

She and her former worm companion, before he had been killed just like the rest of them, had thought themselves to be the last of the great Devourer of Gods' species.

Not the last two, so to say, except for the Devourer itself, or she guessed herself now, but still on the edge of extinction itself.

She didn't have the time nor the courage to tell her newfound mother this news.

Especially not since that glow of Cyan light had sent her right in the path of destruction of that crazy brimstone eye.

That maroon-looking power...

Something about it sent unstoppable chills down her now-human spine.

That was when her basic animal instincts kicked in: Fight, or flight?

...

After a few dangerous seconds of consideration and evasion, she chose to fight.

Her newfound mother was nowhere to be seen, but she herself could definitely take down this fake Calamitous eye.

With her newly recharged mana, she summoned orbs of lightning all around that would definitely strike the giant enemy eye, right in the, well, eye.

But then she realised that was not all she had.

Somehow her turning human had given her a few items she could use.

Like this bow, "The Storm".

She aimed it at the Clone, and with her will it fired energetic death from above!

Specifically, the energetic death was a rain of lightning bolts that seemed to short-circuit the eye, forcing it to retreat back to around its human pilot.

Wait, was the Eye itself the clone or was it this human?

Well, The Storm wouldn't be that effective against this much smaller human, so she instead used her other weapon:

"Storm Dragoon".

Pulling the trigger unleashed a ceaseless spray of bullets that blasted at this human, forcing her to do some summoning of her own.

"The brothers have been reborn!"

Said "brothers" being two similarly large Calamitous Eyes, both resembling mouths, one metallic and one fleshy.

The Storm would prove to be effective against them, easily taking both out without them ever hitting her at all.

Probably because her human form, which she was somehow used to already, was just as fast as her enraged worm form, but even more manouverable due to the smaller and more agile shape.

This streak of not getting hit, however, ended quickly as the Clone threw herself at her, and threw something at her.

A yoyo.

One that hit hard, despite her armour being near-impenetrable.

One that summoned a multitude of lasers all around, one of which went up her skirt and hit her in the worst place possible.

Pain.

Pain reignited itself within her body as the brimstone laser burned her in the one place she was most vulnerable.

The place that had now taken the role of her tail as her weak spot.

...

This wasn't good for her, or... well...

How would it work in her new human body, anyway?

Well, she guessed it was similar to how her species of worms did it, because she could still feel them.

Needless to say, this new development had changed her child-like mind on fighting this bullying Clone.

She floated away from that damned Witch, and looked around for her mother.

Except she hadn't needed to.

A portal of floating particles had opened up.

From it emerged three women:

Her mother, who was obviously pissed off at the Clone.

Another young-looking girl, who seemed shy about herself until she saw the pain on Weaver's face, which turned the shyness into anger.

And a cool-looking ninja assassin, who took one sharp look at her before vanishing from sight.

...

Needless to say, the Calamitas Clone had her energy drained and put into Darkness, her limbs were cleanly cut off due to the overabundance of Kunai in her entire body, and the Devourer herself ripped the rest of her apart.

Which...

Uh.

Problem.

The music, though not usually audible, was now such.

Stained, Brutal Calamity was playing.

It seemed that just like Devourer cared for Weaver, Calamitas cared for her Clone.

And there was no more holding back.

(The clone's body wasn't fully destroyed, so Supreme Calamitas would eventually bring her back to life from those remains similar to how Cra-er, Shining Diamond works, except with Necromancy thrown on top.)

It was a good thing that all four of them could phase through the arena that Calamitas tried to enclose them in.

But as it turns out, the purpose of that was actually to protect the body of the Clone.


Devourer POV:

Devourer, of course, was pissed off.

Not having anyone to blame for her newfound daughter running off like that except herself, she was filled with anger.

It was time to let out that anger on something.

Preferably someone.

Not so far away she could see the Evil denizens, fighting for the sake of their existences.

They would be easy to kill, and it would get rid of her anger, too, so she went over there.

Except her Sentinels wanted to come with her.

Well...

There were a few other enemies approaching.

That "Empress of Light" would be a nice snack for her daughter.

And that crab and... ugh. That affront to worm-kind over there, they were best to be dealt with immediately. (how she recognised the gijinkas as such is a plothole I'll just ignore.)

So she sent her Sentinels to deal with them so she could focus on these Evil thots.

Time to rid Za Warudo of evil!

Notes:

I considered putting Polterghast here too when Permafrost was supposed to meet STAGE FRIGHT but decided not to because Polterghast comes later.
...or was supposed to. I'm sorry to Polterghast for disappointing you.

Chapter 5: Prologue Five: The War (Part Two)

Summary:

I apologise for the delay.
Anyways, DoG defeats the Evil Denizens and saves her daughter, Yharon and the Providences do a dance of flames, and Draedon's Firepower isn't enough to fight Supreme Calamitas, and thus he activates his greatest weapon...

Notes:

deep sigh, I'm sorry for taking so long, I got caught up in the JJBA fandom and kinda just left this draft to rot for over a month now, and also I don't really care about this being a "magnum opus" anymore, I just wanna live a quiet life that's safe and secure.
I'm sorry for making such high promises, I just kinda forgot that this existed.
I'll try to complete the next chapter by next week. Sorry for the delay.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Prologue Part 5: The War (part two) :

Devourer POV:

The evil denizens were right there, in the distance.

Not that it mattered how far away they were.

When you were as fast as Devourer, and also had the ability to open portals in the space-time continuum, distance becomes to you as gender is to a child: irrelevant.

This entire thing reminded her of when she was a worm, before she worked for Yharim.

He had been stealthy about every snack he made.

Always making sure it was fast, and left no real traces behind.

All for the sake of a meal.

...

Which reminded her of her new daughter, the Storm Weaver.

She had seen that girl take on Calamitas' Clone, and gave respect for how much damage was dealt, but ultimately a single hit to her weakest point had put her in great danger.

She would not let that happen to her again.

Which was exactly why she'd sent her to fight against an enraged form of another being even more powerful than Calamitas' Clone-

Upon that realisation she opened her portal faster than Hol Horse could ever manifest and shoot his Emperor.

A lightspeed dash at the scene brought her there, where her poor little daughter was caught in the stupid dumb hands of that Empress, held right in the worst spot.

The utter discomfort on her face...

The only thing that could match it in the history of Calamia (Terrarity)'s universe, was what came next.

For the look on the face of the Devourer...

Not even ten thousand words could fully encapsulate the sheer rage on that face.

To say the Empress of Light was killed is an understatement.

And to say it was quick is similarly so.

One second, no, not even that.

One picosecond of time, the Devourer was looking at the scene.

The next?

She was behind the Empress, and then in front again.

A hole was left in her, making the Light Butterfly into a Big Donut.

And the arm that had been holding Weaver was entirely disintegrated, sent into the dimension where the Ceaseless Void draws her power from, as if by a hand motion Devourer had erased the space where the Hand has been.

Weaver's face was one of trauma.

How she would ever be able to sleep after this was a mystery.

"Weaver."

The Devourer spoke, and it was a reassurance to Weaver.

"Get in my Dimension."

She opened the portal around Weaver no matter what she would say in protest, if she even could say anything in protest.

"You'll be safe there."

Truth be told, Weaver had never been to Devourer's pocket dimension, but she seemed to find it a nice place to be.

And now?

Devourer was pissed off.

Kunai appeared in the now definitely-deceased Empress' body, but Devourer said "no.", and the Kunai left, along with Signus.

With tears of anger on her face, she grabbed the body.

YEET!

And it was left in her pocket dimension for Weaver to eat.

...

But all of a sudden.

The air began to burn.

This was not a problem for her, however, nor for her Sentinels, except maybe the more vulnerable form of Weaver that she'd just seen, so she closed the portal to the pocket dimension.

Her attention was turned towards the approaching Providences.

Alright then, time to live up to her name as the DEVOURER OF GO-

"The air is getting warmer around you."


Yharon POV:

To be honest, she didn't know exactly what to feel right now.

On the one hand, Yharon was fighting for Yharim, her master, who she would gladly die for. (well, he disagreed, giving her immortality as long as he lived.)

But on the other...

Providence.

The Profaned Goddess.

Truth be told, despite her allegiances, she'd always looked up to the Goddess.

Fire was at the core of the both of them, in different ways:

For Yharon, it was because he was a Dragon, and even now she still had draconic elements.

For Providence, it was because that was literally her entire being, besides of course her Crystal.

So, naturally, the two would attract each other.

But up until this point, she had never been able to find Providence, to talk to her, get to know her and maybe even... fall in love with her as a person, not just as a concept.

And now it was too late.

Now she had to fight her at her ruler's demand.

And Yharim had full control over Yharon's very life essence, so if she were to go against his wishes and align with Providence... well.

He was already a broken man.

Having his only remaining family abandon him was... frightening, to think of.

Wait, since when were there two Providences?

...well, it didn't matter, even if it took what seemed to be about six weeks to get there, she'd have to defeat the enemy, no matter what.

As she flew, and turned the air around her warmer and warmer, she spied the immobile corpses of the Four Evil Denizens, as well as that Mushroom Crab thing and the Desert Scourge.

Strangely enough, she sensed that they were still clinging on to life, probably by that odd cyan light that kept them immobile.

Whatever, it wasnt' her problem.

She passed the Devourer of Gods, who seemed ready to Devour the Goddess of Fire over there, but Yharon reassured her that she'd take care of these ones. She accepted, and went elsewhere.

Now, back to the Providences.

Yharon got within range of their attacks, and set up her own arena, the great Infernadoes roaring at the sides of the battlefield.

...

In the end, though, the fight was fire vs fire, fighting fire with fire, it wasn't going anywhere, since both of them would just absorb the flames going either way.

And the Providences didn't seem to want to kill this great beast of fire, in a similar fashion to how said Dragon did not want them dead either.

They didn't use their more physical weapons, either, just going at it with their fire powers, but there was a clear victor emerging from the fires, as the Dragon's more dark-orange flames burned higher than the Goddess' more light-orange flames.

They were in a stalemate, but Yharon was winning, even as the Profaned Army was sent to attack her directly, it was nothing worthy of mention.

With the entirety of the Profaned Army focused on her, the enemy forces were greatly weakened, diverted mainly to her, to a fight they cannot win!

Yes, this was a victory most certain... she didn't mind being surrounded by the Holy Flames of her Goddess, even if she herself was greater than said Goddess.


Draedon POV:

By the time that the supposed "God of the Forge", the alien Cyborg, Draedon, got to the Battlefield, he wasn't really necessary there anymore.

Having rode his Skeletron Prime, he found that there were hardly any enemies to fight.

Well, if you didn't count the weakest army to ever count as an army:

The Slime Army.

Lead by the smol Slime Goddess, and defended by the Five Slime Maids... except one was still a purplish large slime, its Change would come later, maybe... as well as about 666 "Slime Elementals" and a tiny little "Pinky" slime.

They would be. The perfect targets for. Firepower.

Announcing his presence by means of having the Destroyer of Planets emerge from the ground right in front of the weaklings they called "leaders", Draedon lead the single-handed defeat of the Slime Army, with low damage to his great Firepower, for they all could fire a single hit at a single slime, it would hit, and the slime would evaporate just like that. It just took a while given the hundreds of thousands of slimes there were.

He personally went after the "Leaders", shoving his creepy mechanical arms right through all their chests, making them all into Donuts.

Except the Purplish Slime. That one got away, somehow, probably because it was too fast. He'd have to make another machine to counter that later on.

Anyways, despite his leading theories on the effects of the Change, the Slime Maids and Slime Goddess did not disintegrate into slime when their bodies were killed.

Or maybe, just maybe, that cyan glow around them was preventing them from dying. Oh well, they couldn't move anymore anyways, so they weren't a threat.

Nor were these "Slime Elementals", who just plain disintegrated into slime and evaporated mostly upon death, leaving behind "Elemental Slime", which he'd have to test some day.

Oh well, it didn't matter, this was an easy fight, now time to take it to...

...huh. Looks like the War was over. When did that happen, he'd only taken 30 minutes to get out of Yharim's apparently-indestructible (annoying for his "Phasing" mechanisms he'd worked so hard on. That Destroyer was Annoying sometimes.) Palace, and a further 15 minutes to get rid of the Slime Army. Why was that, you may ask?

Well...

The Slime Goddess was a smol and nimble thing, fast enough to dodge Skeletron Prime's direct melee attacks, and also the lasers and stuff.

The Slime Maids were also annoying, jumping around and going hella high, then going down hella quick, which whilst annoying didn't do much damage to any of them, except for the Destroyer, who despite being the most overall durable, was still just a large, segmented worm that could be hit at many points at once.

Around 57 Destroyer Probes had to be released across the entire fight, but they made it so much easier to go after the smaller slimes that seemed to just mindlessly rush right at them.

Skeletron Prime turned out to be great at destroying slimes, given it could just turn all four of its limbs into Prime Saws and slice four of them at once, the utter brainless idiots literally jumped right at the chainsaws!

...which then slimed up them and made them unusable, same with the vices. The Prime Cannons and Prime Lasers were thus used, two and two, for monochromatic damage to all.

There wasn't really any need for Spazmatism and Retinazer to stay in their Phase One's, when their Phase Two's were much greater offensively. Plus, the shattering of their outer optical shells did land on a bunch of slimes, taking them out instantly, so there was that.

Such a shame the Twins were bound together, given that Spazmatism's shadowflame mouth easily evaporated even the Slime Remains, and Retinazer would be better at a much longer distance. Oh well, the Wires were together, and he wouldn't spend all the time it'd take for their AIs to be altered to not take into account the other's actions.

It had been a great fight, and he'd learned so much about what Slimes could do.

If he could just make a machine that functioned similarly, but could walk, could stride... that would be almost unstoppable!

But alas, he was forced to observe from a distance as his Lord fought the Brimstone Witch.

...hol up.

There was something he could do.

He'd been doing some experiments on his Lord Yharim's Stimulated Auric Tesla Armour, using a similar brand of Necromancy as had gone into the Calamitas Clone, but for Yharim's own armour, and a copy of his Tyrant's Ultisword.

The armour had short sight, the only weakness that Yharim had now, so he'd made some... admittedly silly looking eyes to go onto them, enhance its sight.

He didn't want to activate it, but if Yharim could lose, Draedon would be out of a job, out of resources, and perhaps even dead!

No, he would do it.

It was time.

To activate.

THE LORDE.

May Xeroc have mercy upon us all...

Notes:

You were expecting that the LORDE would stay non-canon?
Nah, I know for certain I'd had it prepared all along, lol.
I'm pretty sure that AFCT mentioned it, but eh, this is a different universe entirely so eeeh.
Enjoy the LORDE!

Notes:

A fun little story that won't actually be little, but probably will be fun to enjoy and stuff.
Anyways I'll update this eventually lol.
Maybe I'm already working on the next chapter, and will have it out today...? Don't count on it.