Chapter Text
My darling heart,
Today once more the sun rose and it sank, beginning and ending another day that I was apart from you. I do not despair, my sweet, and yet I mourn: mourn the lack of you by my side, mourn that the twinkle of your smile and softness of your hair are so many miles away from me. Five years have passed since those brief times when we traveled together -- you and I, my treasured retainers, your brother, and so on -- and still each day I recall those precious moments, looking back at them as a treasure, as my life’s greatest adventure. (Ah, but then again, we are still young! There is still time for adventures!) We endured such unspeakable hardships together, and yet there was a joy in my heart each day I awoke to see you at my side. Dozla and Rennac, as treasured as each of them is, simply do not stir within me the same passion that you do!
The meetings we have had since are memories most precious as well, and yet each was short, fleeting, and with too much time spent on democracy and those formalities that we all know are unnecessary. I swear, I saw your brother nearly fall asleep the last time I visited -- with me still in the room! -- because he was so bored by the diplomatic discussions between your nation and mine. And for my part, why, I could barely concentrate on such talk of trade deals, so enraptured as I was by the mischievous shine in your eyes. We may not have taken off from the meeting to enjoy the spring sun and frolic in the flowers, but ah, I know we both wished to!
(I recall you stated afterward that you had barely noticed the spring sun, so focused were you on keeping your stacks of record books straight, but I can see what is in your heart!)
Oh, queen among queens, I sit here now amongst my own flower gardens, the bright gold of Rausten's finest blossoms bringing me right back to that day. I pray for your well-being each morning and night; you are the first of my thoughts as I wake and the last as I fall asleep. I pray, too, that you do the same for me. Yet if you ever forgot me, though my heart would shatter to pieces, I would care for you all the more, praying that you remembered again.
But you haven't forgotten me, have you? I cannot imagine that would ever be possible!
As ever, I look forward to each of your letters and gifts. The jam sent along last time was simply divine! Within this envelope lies a small sketch I purchased from a local artisan; please use it to decorate your chambers as you see fit. The delicate lines reminded me so much of your own delicate touches, of your gentle hand in mine during each glorious day we have spent together. (You see? All things lovely remind me only of you!) How I long for these days! It has been months now, has it not? I am burdened with duty -- glorious, divine duty! -- each day and I ache for our next meeting. As you know, my birthday approaches; shall we perhaps arrange a meeting here in Rausten, for just the two of us? (The others are invited too, of course! But after the main celebration... in private...!)
So continue to hold me dear in your heart as I forever hold you dear in mine. As I have told you a hundred times before, you are the strongest, noblest woman I have ever known, and I wish to offer you the world, for you have taken over my own world most effortlessly. We may now be apart, but one day I know we will be smiled on by the divine and blessed with infinite time by each other's sides. Hold out for such a day (I haven't worked out the details yet!) and until then, think of me fondly.
With much love from your dearest friend,
Divine Emperor L'Arachel of Rausten
Eirika smiled fondly as she reached the end of the letter, the latest of dozens she had saved since the war had ended and she and L'Arachel had parted ways. At the time neither of them had questioned such a choice, for it was only natural for them to return to their respective nations, Eirika to share the throne with Ephraim and L’Arachel to redouble her training to inherit her own title.
Yet within days it had become clear that L'Arachel's absence created an unexpected hole in her heart that had proven impossible to fill with the friendships of those who had remained in Renais. Eirika received L’Arachel’s first letter after not even a week of longing, a letter that was dated the very day she should have arrived back home, the clearest of signs that the feelings were mutual.
As in all things, L’Arachel did not hold back when it came to her writing. Her letters were lengthy, elaborate, and frequent. She always selected the same thick parchment to write upon with her flowing cursive, lettering that was filled with flourishes and far more exclamation points than was strictly necessary. It was easy for Eirika to imagine her seated on a lush sofa in some room tucked away in the castle, light streaming through the window as she carefully penned each line, then spritzed it with perfume and inserted it into its envelope, sealing it with lilac-colored wax.
Eirika didn't know anything about perfume, but L'Arachel's signature scent had become as familiar over the last five years as her writing. She never wore it during the war -- the bottle would have spilled too easily, she explained, and then all of her things would have smelled like dessert and she certainly could not have that, could she? Now that L’Arachel was focused on the duties of the throne, those little impractical but lovely things were part of her life once again. After a diplomatic meeting, Eirika commented that she smelled just like her letters did, and L'Arachel explained that the fragrance was one of sugar, fig leaf, and berries, with a tonka and sandalwood base. That didn't mean much; to her, L'Arachel just smelled like happiness.
The last time L'Arachel had visited was still vivid in her mind. As L’Arachel had said in her letter, it had ostensibly been a diplomatic visit, but she always had a habit of exaggerating how long the meetings took. Their nations were on excellent terms, and the meetings between Renais and Rausten nobles and officials were always pleasant ones, as full of laughter and kind words as they were formal discussions. Eirika, Ephraim, and L'Arachel were the youngest of the group that typically met, each of them having inherited their titles quite young, and at first Eirika was concerned that their inexperience and youth would be disagreeable for the older officials. But the war had ended and their nations were on the road to recovery, so the friendship between the three of them (and other monarchs besides) was seen as an asset, a sign that the nations would continue to strengthen their bond for many generations to come.
There was still much to be done as queen, but now it seemed like their greatest obstacles had passed, and Eirika was filled with optimism. If ruling a nation meant she had to stay alert during meetings that occasionally became dull, so be it.
Still, she had to laugh at L'Arachel's assertion that they'd have been better off frolicking in the flowers. It was true enough that she had been too focused on her duties as queen that day to think much about how they might instead be amusing themselves. What L'Arachel had left out of the letter was that they had gone outside afterwards, at L’Arachel’s urging. It had been warm, the sun beating down from a cloudless sky, and the gardens were lush with blossoms that Eirika, never much for gardening herself, was still learning the names of: daylily, verbena, coreopsis.
L'Arachel had taken both of Eirika's hands in both of hers, twirling her around and around in something that was not quite like two children playing together, and not quite like a dance, but somewhere in between. When she closed her eyes, Eirika could remember it like it was yesterday: what felt like endless fields of flowers, and L’Arachel’s grin stretching from ear to ear.
Today, as she read the letter, it was raining, and the sound of water flowing down the castle's roof provided a pleasing backdrop to her reminiscing. She'd send a response soon, before the day's end, if she could manage to fit all of her thoughts onto the page that quickly.
Dearest L’Arachel,, she began in her head, already picturing the smile that would be on L'Arachel's face when she read those words, I could never forget the details of our last meeting. Eirika had never been one for elaborate words, but as the two of them continued to grow fond of one another she began to see something charming in the way that came out of L'Arachel's mouth -- and her pen -- so effortlessly, and over time Eirika's letters had taken on a bit of their own dramatic flare. What she wrote might have sounded silly to an outsider, but every word was true. Something about L'Arachel, the memories of her and the hopes for their next meeting, stirred a passion in Eirika that she couldn't name.
She idly fingered the ring on her right hand, the one that carried the ruby that L'Arachel had given her so many years ago. She’d had the jewel mounted at the earliest possible opportunity so that she might wear it every day, and she looked upon it often, the reminder of her friend's affection acting as a comfort during times of stress and trouble. Since that time they'd exchanged many gifts, but this one remained the most precious of them all, and Eirika still hadn't found a present that might match its value. L'Arachel insisted that all she wanted in exchange for that particular gift was Eirika's continued friendship, and to not worry herself over it. But there was something lovely about having a physical reminder of L'Arachel with her at all times, and Eirika carried with her the hope that one day she'd be able to provide something similar for L'Arachel.
She missed her friend dearly, and the letter served as a reminder of that as much as it did as a trigger for happy memories. L'Arachel had proposed a celebration together for her upcoming birthday, and Eirika intended to accept, though she and Ephraim would have to work out the details together before she said anything definitive. It was the year's seventh month now, and L'Arachel's birthday was in the middle of the eighth, so there was adequate time as long as they planned efficiently.
Her chair creaked slightly as she pushed it away from her desk and stood up, tucking the letter into her pocket. Ephraim didn't have any particular plans today, as far as she was aware -- and she typically was aware when he did, she always had been -- so she supposed he must be keeping himself amused. The rain hadn't let up for more than a few minutes since the morning, so it was unlikely that he was outdoors, and that meant the first place she would check was the indoor training grounds. As peace spread across the land she’d set her blade aside, but her brother was as diligent as he'd always been with his own combat practice.
He still struggled with the invisible wounds that the war had left on him, and still felt a drive to train for some unknown future battle. He felt safer that way, he'd explained to her once, and he wouldn't regret it even should it turn out that the rest of their lives remained peaceful.
The hallways of the castle were as comfortably quiet as ever, other than the pleasant clicks of her shoes against the floor and the occasional greeting from a servant. They always bowed and mumbled a polite "your majesty” at the sight of her, a familiar yet unnecessary formality.
“Can I assist you with anything?” one of the maids asked.
She returned his deep bow with a smaller one and a polite smile. “That won’t be necessary, I’m just taking a bit of a walk and not going very far.”
She thought of L'Arachel once again, and how much she enjoyed this sort of putting on airs. She insisted on her maids speaking to her more formally, but she returned their words with an equal amount of respect, and made it a point to remember their interests for yearly holiday gifts on top of that.
So lost was she in her thoughts of L'Arachel, imagining what they might be doing right now if they were together, that she didn't notice the way the maid's gaze followed her down the hallway. Had she been more suspicious, she might have thought it odd that the woman had carefully kept her hands out of view, but Eirika had never seen any reason to distrust the staff.
A pleasantly cool breeze hit her face as she opened the heavy wooden door to let herself outside. The rain had yet to cease, but there was a covered path leading from that door to a smaller stone building, the training grounds used by their knights and Ephraim alike. He and his men practiced together side by side, enjoying the camaraderie of sparring together, the chance to drop formalities and simply grow stronger together. Many new members had been recruited to the order of knights over the past five years, dozens of young men inspired by stories of how the king and queen had seized Renais' peace and prosperity with their own hands. Already a certain romanticism had begun to form around the way the story was told, belittling the toil it had been on their bodies and on their spirits. Their enthusiasm was more than welcome, but she had Seth make a point to tell all new recruits that war wasn’t as glamorous as they might expect, and besides, they were now in a time of peace.
All at once Eirika felt a hand on her mouth and another around her body: thick, muscular arms holding her in place. They were strong, and there was no way for her to turn around and see who it might be, but there was no doubt that this was anything but an attack. Heart pounding, she began to flail, frantically trying to find a way to escape, but no amount of struggling deterred her assailant.
She would have gasped, or screamed, should she have been able to, when she saw the familiar glint of a knife, then the second person holding it: the maid she had passed just moments ago. Her expression had seemed so docile then, but as she lifted the knife to Eirika’s throat, her face showed only pure malice. Slowly, the maid pressed it into her skin, and Eirika offered one final prayer to the heavens, for a moment accepting her death.
Yet she did not cease her struggle, and in the next moment, Eirika was finally able to pull one arm free from her attacker’s grip, just enough to firmly jab them with her elbow. Knocking the wind out of them gave her a chance to break away, causing the maid to step back in surprise. But the knife was still in her hand, and Eirika didn't carry a weapon in her own home, and she was outnumbered...
She only realized later that she must have screamed. The entrance to the training ground was only yards away, and the bang of the doors being shoved open resonated through the courtyard, followed by a stampede of footsteps of what must have been at least a dozen men. The stranger and the maid immediately turned to flee.
"Eirika!" came a shout over the patter of falling rain and the commotion and the heavy beating of her own heart. It was Ephraim, leading the group of knights. The rest of them kept up the chase but Ephraim fell away, instead dashing over to her. "Eirika, are you all right?" he called, voice tinged with worry.
The world started to spin around her, and she took a shaky step or two toward him before tripping, then falling into his awaiting arms. Wordlessly, she raised a hand to her neck, only now realizing her pain, as the adrenaline faded. Her hand came away warm and damp.
The last thing that she felt was her brother's firm grip, one arm going under her knees to lift her into his arms, and then everything went black.
...
She awoke enveloped by the soft comfort of her bed, blankets, and what felt like several more pillows than she typically slept with. It had been a long time since she'd fainted, and it took a moment for her to piece together what had happened as she opened her heavy eyelids.
Immediately, three faces were in view: a familiar elderly healer that had been employed by the family since before her birth, Ephraim, and Seth. They all spoke to her at once, and she in her haze was able to neither pick out nor answer any of them.
The healer turned to shush the men loudly before continuing to speak. “One at a time, both of you!” then she turned to Eirika, voice softer. "How do you feel, my dear?" she asked.
"'m all right,” Eirika answered, her voice coming out a whisper. There was a lingering soreness where the assailant had grabbed her, and in her neck. Healing magic didn't have much impact on pain when there was no wound, and even when it came to wounds that it did heal it could still take some time before everything felt normal. But more than that, she was exhausted, her energy sapped away by the fear that she had felt in the moment of her attack. During the war, when each day was dangerous, she had begun to grow somewhat used to it, but during times of peace the feeling had gradually become unfamiliar. "What happened?"
"Your Majesty, don't you remember?" Seth asked, his voice heavily tinged with concern. Eirika thought with a certain fondness that he himself must have nearly fainted with worry over her.
"I remember a bit. I was looking for Ephraim and my mind was somewhere else. Someone snuck up beside me, and... and then the maid..."
"My men saw to both of their captures, of course. They're in the dungeons now, awaiting further trial," Seth said with the firmness Eirika had become accustomed to in times of distress. Then, his expression softened. "I wish with all of my heart that you were never in this situation, but I must admit that your reaction was truly stupendous."
"You really did manage to get away just in the nick of time, however you did it," the healer added. "Your wound was only barely not deep enough to cause more serious damage. If you hadn't been such a quick thinker, you might not still be before us now. Ah, but I should apologize for my bluntness, Your Majesty."
"When we're done here I intend to question them, with force if need be," Seth continued. What he said was not out of the ordinary, but Eirika, too dazed to object, hated to hear it. "Infiltrating the palace as a pair of servants is impressive work. It's almost cliché at this point, so if someone can manage it despite our careful evaluations, they may have a larger force behind them."
"I wonder why they came," Eirika managed to respond. Her heart was now heavy with worry she didn't dare speak out loud, lest she cause even more of a fuss. Assassins could come for many reasons, one being to take action against an unfit ruler. Was that how she was seen? And why was she the target, not Ephraim? Was she simply easier to catch unarmed and unaware, or was there another reason?
"For now, please don't worry about it. We'll pass along any pertinent information that we extract to you - after you've recovered, of course.”
"Thank you, Seth. Your support and companionship is as valued as always."
Seth groaned just slightly as he stood up, and it was easy for Eirika to imagine that he'd been sitting there stiffly by her bedside for some time, his other duties ignored until he saw the queen conscious. "Then with that, I must take my leave. I would like to speak with our captives myself, now that I've been able to see for myself that you will be well."
"I told you I'd patch her right up!" the healer, now in the process of laying out some herbs on Eirika's table, called over to him.
Seth gave her a polite nod, then excused himself from the room with a bow.
Once he'd gone, Eirika sighed deeply, her hand drifting to her neck not for the first time during the conversation. Excessive as it could be sometimes, now she was truly grateful for Seth's doting.
"He's exhausting," Ephraim said with a similar sigh, "But he manages to get things done efficiently. I'd like to question them myself as well. But enough of that... Eirika, are you really all right?"
Eirika heard the soft shuffling of the healer also stepping out of the sleeping quarters and into the next room, not dismissing herself entirely but giving the siblings enough space to have a discussion in private. Ephraim was looking upon Eirika with a softness in his eyes, a kind gaze that she recognized well.
"Nobody would be all right after that, would they?" she said, her voice shaking slightly.
Ephraim reached toward her then, pushing her hair back from where it had messily fallen around her. He'd removed his gloves, and his calloused hands were familiar, comforting. She closed her eyes as he stroked several times more, the steady back and forth soothing her pained heart somewhat. If she closed her eyes she could still imagine when they were young and their worries were so much smaller. Ephraim was there then, too, and he always would be.
"Brother?" she said, breaking the silence once she felt ready.
"Eirika?"
"Was there something else I could have done?"
As she had more time awake to reminisce, her memories were coming back to her, becoming clearer. In the moment of the attack, she had felt defenseless, had felt like she was using every bit of her strength to struggle. But it hadn't been the first time she'd been so intimate with danger, and now some part of her felt shame that she still wasn't able to fight back the way she would have liked to.
It was no secret that her brother had never been good with words. He knew how to speak well of his own feelings and goals, but he was blunt, a doer over an orator. That was fine with Eirika, who needed no platitudes, only his honesty.
Now, he shook his head.
"Of course not. You trusted our staff as we all do. Schemers that they were, they took advantage of that. Probably some type of outside rebel effort."
"And yet..." she paused, a million thoughts in her head. Shouldn't the queen recognize a traitor? Shouldn't she be able to focus well enough to notice someone coming up behind her? Shouldn't she carry a weapon, at least? "I should have taken a dagger with me."
"I won't disagree. But a dagger wouldn't have saved you if it was two against one, and they had the advantage of stealth."
He was right, of course. She practiced her swordwork in formal sparring with allies, and while the bandits and monsters she had battled in the past fought without honor, they also weren't smart enough to launch much of a surprise attack. The castle walls typically provided defense, and they all counted on that, even Ephraim. Still, it was hard to imagine her brother in the same position, rendered helpless against the strength of an attacker.
And just as strong as the question of what could I have done was the question of why. She and Ephraim were a pair of well-liked rulers, or so she had thought. They were praised for their victory against the Demon King, and commended for their consistent efforts to help the common people as Renais was restored. Even their sharing of the throne, an unconventional choice that she had been concerned about the reception of, was met with praise. The king rules with strength, they said, and the queen with compassion. (The twins both knew the people's beliefs were oversimplified, but they weren’t wrong, and they were certainly flattering to boot.)
"You think too much," Ephraim said, interrupting her train of thought. There must have been something about her expression that betrayed the depth of her worries. "Take a break from thinking and rest up."
"I'll be fine. We have good healers here, so don't worry."
"Hm."
Eirika did her best to rest, closing her eyes once again and willing the thoughts from her mind. Seth was likely questioning her assailants at this very moment, and there was little point in trying to take action until they had those answers. It took quite some time before she was able to sleep, so full was her head and so heavy was her heart.
...
Physically, Eirika recovered in short order, and she was able to carry on with her normal routine the next day. Yet mentally, nothing felt right. Her mind still raced with questions and possibilities, making it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything else.
She was able to dedicate the next two days to doing nothing in particular, but on the third day she had planned to attend the opening ceremony of a new orphanage nearby, a meaningful cause that she dearly wanted to offer her blessings to.
She'd gotten halfway through getting prepared before sitting back down on her bed to take a break, then found it impossible to pull together the energy to get up. Concerned, her lady-in-waiting had fetched Ephraim, and he'd offered to attend the ceremony in her stead. That was probably for the best, she told him, and wished him well.
Unable to bring herself to do much of anything else, she stared at the ceiling, imagining Ephraim trying to piece together an unplanned speech, the party's other attendees rapt with attention and a number of knights -- more than usual -- by his side. She imagined Seth, still focused only on getting more information from her assailants. In his last report he stated that they seemed to have no interest in revealing much information, despite using every permitted technique. He already knew that she refused to condone torture as a means of extraction, and that meant there was only so much they could do.
She imagined L'Arachel, oblivious to her troubles. A quill pen, ink, and several pieces of parchment sat on Eirika’s desk, much of the parchment half-filled with lines that had promptly been scribbled out. It was evidence of her fruitless effort to write to L'Arachel's earlier that day. Already, it seemed like an eternity since that day, when she received it with such great joy.
Her first response was solemn, detailing the assassination attempt. She'd included a number of details, including some words on her personal struggles and questions, then thought better of it. Such things were best left in a diary, and L'Arachel had better things to do than to listen to her anguish. (Although Eirika was well aware that if she had sent such a letter, she'd receive one back twice as thick, filled with love and support.)
The second letter touched on some of what had happened, then brushed it aside. I had a strenuous day yesterday, my dear, it said, and I feared briefly for my life, but now all is well. That, she realized, was even worse. She'd drive L'Arachel into a tizzy worrying about her, and that would just be another person doting on her in addition to Seth and Ephraim. It, too, laid on her desk with enough of its contents rejected that there was no point in continuing.
She might just omit the situation altogether. L'Arachel didn't need to know every tragic detail of her life, and Eirika didn't need to cause her dearest friend undue stress. Yes, that would be for the best: send L'Arachel a normal letter filled with sweet words and platitudes of affection, and accept the offer to come to Rausten in time for L'Arachel's birthday celebration. Seth would surely insist on tagging along, and on bringing more men than usual, but that would be fine, and she could always tell L'Arachel that he was worried over nothing in particular, as he was inclined to do...
In time she managed to lift herself from bed, then cross the room to her desk. The rejected letters she first put into a stack on the side, then thought better of it and carefully tore in half and tossed into the fireplace. Before she thought twice about not sending them, and before anybody unsavory could get ahold of them.
Under most circumstances she didn't have to think so hard about what to write, for there was something about L'Arachel that made the words flow from her pen. Today it wasn't so easy, but she desperately wanted to send something soon. It would bring her great joy to imagine the expression on L'Arachel's face when she received it, and even greater joy to anticipate her response. L’Arachel could go on for pages about her tea collection, and Eirika would read it with rapt attention.
After staring at the blank parchment for several minutes, glancing often at L'Arachel's most recent letter as a reminder of their previous correspondence, she began to write, each character small and precise.
My bosom friend,
I, too, long to see you once more. I know it has only been a few months, but our time apart has felt like years. As always, I dedicate myself fully to my role, and I watch the people flourish -- and yet with the work of ruling comes tedium. I have grown used to it, and Ephraim has as well, but what I wouldn't give for some time away from it, and with you by my side!
In truth -- and please do not spread this -- there are times at which I think perhaps it would be nice to not be queen, and instead fill my days idly. Oh, the comfort my heart would feel if all I had to worry about was savoring your smile. Our gardens are as beautiful as ever, but I cannot partake in them so long as there is work to be done.
There, she paused. Her desk was directly in front of a window, and light streamed through it. From the castle's fourth floor, the view was stunning: she could easily see the stables, and the fenced off grassy areas where the horses grazed. Beyond that were flowers, carefully arranged by gardeners, and even further back were the trees that she and Ephraim climbed when they were small. Only days ago, the view had been enticing, but now the thought of spending time outside filled her with dread.
A knock interrupted her reverie, a dull thud of armor against her wooden door: presumably, one of her guards. Curious, she walked toward it. From the other side she heard voices -- it sounded like four, and there had only been two men stationed outside. The new voices sounded familiar, and stirred a warmth within her, though she knew her suspicions were preposterous.
"What is it?" she called through the door.
"Your Majesty!" said one of the guards. "I don't believe you were planning to take any visitors today, but an unplanned one arrived. Apparently the Captain met him at the door, and allowed him in, so if you're so inclined to make an exception..." He sounded somewhat flustered, as if he wasn't quite sure whether he should be encouraging the queen to take this visitor or to turn him away.
"Don't worry so much about the details, eh?" one of the familiar voices said. It couldn't be...
Eirika pushed her door open, and was overjoyed she was to find that on the other side was exactly the man she thought she had heard. "Joshua?"
"One and the same," he said, offering her a deep, exaggerated bow. Behind him stood a taller, broader man, his skin crossed with scars.
Joshua’s theatrics managed to stir a weak chuckle, the first she'd managed in a while, and she returned them with a more conservative curtsy. Surprised as she was to have him as a guest, he was a welcome one.
They'd never had much time to chat during the war, but the shared experience had still formed a lasting bond between them. Renais maintained a strong relationship with Jehanna, one that had only grown stronger in recent years. When the queen died there had been controversy over whether her eldest son was truly deserving to claim the title of king, having spent so much time out of the country and away from royal duties before and even after her death, and Renais' unequivocal support of Joshua as a ruler ended up smoothing the transition.
Over time, Eirika had come to learn that she and Joshua had little in common, but their personalities provided a contrast to one another that proved effective in formal conferences between their nations. They were able to discuss and debate with confidence, each knowing that the other truly had their people's best interests in mind, even if the details of things like trade agreements could be hotly contested. And Joshua made pleasant company outside of the war room, always eager to share a new story or join his peers and their staff alike in a round of mead.
His companion had become familiar to her as well, though he had made it clear that as Joshua's personal guard he had no interest in getting involved in politics. She remembered being surprised to see him the first time she had visited Jehanna as a guest -- was he no longer a travelling mercenary, then? -- but he appeared content enough. The pair had met during the war, and already they seemed to be more comfortable with one another than any royalty and retainer she'd known before. They were friends first and king and bodyguard second, Joshua had explained.
Now, when he made eye contact with Eirika, Gerik offered a stiff bow, a formality that he knew was expected of him.
They all had much to talk of, but not in the hallway. Eirika turned to the guards and nodded to each in turn. "Thank you," she said, "You were right in allowing them to visit," she said, and one of the guards, the one who had seemed so nervous knocking on her door, sighed in relief.
She turned then to Joshua and Gerik, gesturing inside her chambers. "Come in, please."
Eirika was grateful for the skills of the legitimate members of the castle's cleaning staff, for although she'd not had the energy to do much of anything these past few days, the state of her rooms remained pristine. She doubted that either of them would care much if things were in more disarray, but she herself would have hated to show off a messy room. To the side was a nook with several tables and sofas, a place to receive only the most personal of guests for talks of friendship, not business. This was where she led them now and sat down alongside them.
"If I had known I'd have guests, I'd have had tea prepared," she said. "I still can, if you'd like."
"No need," said Joshua, already making himself comfortable. "From what I've heard, you have enough to think about as it is."
Eirika tilted her head in confusion. "But you couldn't have possibly heard..."
"I hear lots of things. Someone like you might be surprised by the loose tongues you find in taverns."
"You spoke with one of my knights?" That was unexpected. Anybody who was skilled and devoted enough to be knighted surely knew better than to spread the queen's personal affairs without express orders, and certainly nobody had ordered such a message to be delivered to Joshua.
"Not as such. A man whose sister had a lover who was a knight, or something to that effect. He'd happened to overhear from him there was something amiss with the queen, but that was all I was able to find out. Not much to go on." He shrugged. "But, obviously, I was already in the area, so I thought it was a good time to drop by."
By now she'd had a chance to take a good look at his outfit. The items he wore appeared to be in good repair, but they weren't new, and their design was simple, reminiscent of what she had seen in the rural areas of Jehanna. A sword hung at his side, a type of blade that Eirika recognized as particularly deadly, especially for warriors such as Joshua who were quick on their feet. Gerik was dressed similarly, though he carried a large, heavy-looking axe rather than a sword -- one that was well-worn, not the polished weapons she'd expect from a king's personal aide. She knew them both well enough to put two and two together from there.
"You two were traversing Renais in disguise as mercenaries again, weren't you?"
"You should try it sometime, your majesty,” said Joshua with a chuckle. “It's rather stimulating. Though lately we've preferred to take on the role of common villagers."
"I managed to convince him it's less dangerous," Gerik added. "Taking on the life of a mercenary even as a guise is just asking for trouble, and he's got enough of that as it is."
"That's wise," said Eirika. "Though it still concerns me that you've left the throne empty. What will you do if tragedy strikes Jehanna again and you're not anywhere to be found?"
"I've made plans for that, believe it or not," said Joshua. "I've found and hired a number of reliable aides over the last five years -- some that I met during my travels, in fact. On top of that, I have a large family, so there are plenty of princes and princesses to turn to if anyone is unexpectedly in need of a royal. And of course I'd return at a moment's notice if I got any wind of trouble that I needed to address. That's the real reason I snoop around in taverns, you know. I have quite a few friends who have their ways of passing around news more quickly than usual as well."
"You can brag about your connections all you want, but you know she's still right," Gerik added. "Although I'm only encouraging your behavior."
"Well, the worst thing that's likely to happen is my siblings staging a coup while I'm gone, and any one of them is just as qualified to be the ruler. My being king was really just an accident of birth," Joshua said with a shrug. "If I'm ousted, we'll just have to be mercenaries for real. Not a bad life."
"You two seem so close," Eirika remarked. Her own bond with Seth ran deep, but it was much less intimate. Something about the thought of traveling alongside a dear companion without a care in the world held a certain appeal, although it was too impractical to even begin to imagine.
"Something like that," said Gerik with a chuckle. "We have a lot in common, and we're bad influences on each other. It all seems to work out in the end, though." Joshua playfully swatted at him as a way of response.
"It must be nice, having someone like that."
"If you ever wish to travel with us, just say the word!" said Joshua, smiling. "Although I doubt you're much in the mood for that right now, if there's already something going on."
Eirika's face fell. It was true, she'd be far too worried to travel to places unknown right now. The life Joshua was leading seemed like it would be reckless at the best of times, and simply terrifying right now.
"It was an assassination attempt," she said. Both of the men’s faces fell, but they allowed her to continue without interruption. "I was going about my business in the castle and I must not have been paying much attention. Two people who had taken on the role of castle staff came upon me, and held a knife to my throat. In the end they didn't succeed. Fortunately it happened near the knight's training grounds, so their capture was quick enough, but they're not volunteering any information. I don't know their reasons for assaulting me, and it troubles me greatly. I've mostly kept to my chambers since then, and I walk through the castle with a guard."
Joshua nodded. "That's prudent."
"What would you do?"
"Hm. Find a way to trick them into confessing their motives, probably."
"Somehow I doubt you're going to win their confession in a bet," Gerik said.
"There's a danger inherent to being a ruler, you know?" Joshua continued, and the others both mumbled their agreements. "We've all seen things like that happen firsthand, and... frankly, it could happen again. All you can really do is be bold and be smart, and not let it discourage you too much. Sorry, I know that's not very helpful."
"You're right though," Eirika said. "Even if this does turn out to have been an isolated attempt, I have no intention of stepping down from the throne until I'm old. Something may happen even many years from now, and all I can do is be prepared."
Joshua nodded. "That's the spirit."
"I should have told you this before, but thank you for coming. It was really a pleasant surprise, although I'm sure you gave Seth quite a fright."
"You don't know half of it. The man looked like he was about to run me through with his sword before he recognized me. Fortunately he didn’t, it wouldn't have been a good look for Renais."
"That sounds like Seth. I believe he's even more wound up about this whole situation than I am."
"And your brother?" Joshua asked.
"Ah, Ephraim is off at an event I had intended to attend. He'd have personally escorted you up here if he wasn't, I'm sure. He's been on edge as well, though he does his best to show it."
"Bit of a hothead, isn't he?" Gerik said. "Though I'm not in much of a position to judge, I was the same way in my youth."
"He's mellowing out a bit with age as well," Eirika said. "But you're not wrong. He was among those who saw my assailants, so naturally the situation has been hard for him. I keep having to reassure him that I can be left out of his sight when he has duties to take on."
"Does anybody else know the details of what happened outside of the castle?" Joshua asked. "I assume you don't want word to get out."
Eirika shook her head. "Certainly the people don't need to know, I'd prefer to keep gossip to a minimum."
"And your friends?"
"Outside of you two? Nobody."
"Surely you're going to mention it to the Divine Emperor. She'll be ever so distressed if she doesn't hear it directly from you."
"I... I may," she said with some trepidation. It was no surprise to hear Joshua mention L’Arachel in particular -- the two of them had an odd sort of friendship, and he had likely become familiar with L’Arachel’s fondness for Eirika. "She's due a letter from me soon either way."
"She's an interesting girl, that one. I'm sure she'll have something unique to say."
"L'Arachel fusses over me too much."
"It's starting to sound like everyone does," Gerik remarked. "Not a bad life to lead."
"It's true, but L'Arachel is different," Eirika said. "Her affection is... smothering. But I don't dislike it. Now that I've had time to get used to her zest for life” -- a laugh from Joshua -- “I've come to have a great fondness for her. Her optimism and support are truly unmatched."
Joshua raised an eyebrow. "It seems we're not the only pair who 'seems close', hm?"
Eirika blinked. "Sorry?"
“Don’t worry about it,” he said, waving his hand as if brushing her question away. “In any case, is it too late to take you up on that offer of tea? And dinner too, if you can.”
"I'll call someone up."
"Much obliged, Your Majesty."
"But of course, Your Majesty," she responded with a smile. Her heart was still fraught with concern, but already it felt as if some of the burden had been lifted.
Notes:
• I made L'Arachel's title Divine Emperor even though Rennac's solo ending calls her the queen because I think that would be very sexy of her.
• The perfume I reference is based on Pink Sugar by Aquolina.
• L'Arachel is definitely a Leo. Joshua is an Aries.
Chapter 2
Summary:
"How did you know to come?" Eirika asked, voice barely a whisper in L'Arachel's ear. It made her shiver; it had been so very long since she'd heard that beautiful sound.
"A little birdy told me," she responded. "Don't worry yourself about the details."
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
L'Arachel had always been a morning person. Waking up early allowed her ample time to stretch, to pray and give thanks for the glorious day ahead, to gaze outside, to hope for blue skies. She couldn't help but sigh a bit when she saw it was overcast that day, the day that would later turn out to be the catalyst for her life's newest adventure. Had she believed in ill omens she might have thought it was one, and indeed as she looked out she felt an odd chill, though she promptly dismissed it.
"Do you think," she asked during breakfast, to nobody in particular. She sat amongst her typical group of favored retainers, maids, and cooks, and someone or another always answered her, though depending on the company it might take repeating what she had to say several times. "I will finally receive a letter from Eirika today?"
"It could very well be the day!" Dozla responded with a hearty chuckle in between gulps of coffee.
L'Arachel grinned at the enthusiasm that he shared with her, as always. Through the years his support in all things had been invaluable, and that was even more so once she inherited the throne. Occasionally, she'd even read him passages of her writing -- letters and formal decrees and the occasional story -- and gain valuable input, though as of late the contents of her letters to Eirika in particular felt too intimate to share.
It was a sign of the deep friendship the two women shared, she supposed, that they were able to speak heart to heart, knowing the input of a third party would be meaningless! L'Arachel shuddered to think what Seth might have had to say if Eirika shared her own responses with him -- he'd never understand.
If L'Arachel didn't know any better, she'd have thought Rennac rolled his eyes at the enthusiasm that the others brought to the breakfast table. "You only sent her your last letter a week and a half ago, and it takes the better part of four days for a messenger to travel from here to Renais. If she took a few days to compose a response -- and she probably did, considering how thick your letters always are -- it would only be getting here today."
"Why, Rennac! What an insightful response!" L'Arachel replied, impressed. "And you've even remembered when I sent it! Ah, but you are correct, even the fastest pegasus can only travel so quickly, and in both our nations they are in short supply of those..."
"I couldn't not remember, you tell half the castle about it whenever you send her anything, and then you remind us every morning that you're waiting for her to answer. You do know she's busy ruling a country?"
"Oh, she can make her brother do the work, it will be good for him," she responded, dismissing his concerns with a wave of her hand. "And I do not tell half the castle, only my most trusted group of peers."
"I'm honored," he muttered.
"Of course you are!"
"Gwa ha! Rennac is right this time, Your Majesty!" Dozla said, his booming voice filling the room, and L’Arachel chuckled along with him.
Adventure was all well and good, but she enjoyed these small bits of happiness just as much: the laughter of her dear retainers, the clink of her spoon as she stirred another cube of sugar into her tea, the anticipation of what she might receive in the mail today. There was always something, but not always something as interesting as a letter carefully crafted by her dearest friend of all. "My bosom friend," Eirika often called her, and "my sunflower". Once it had been "light of my life" and goodness, L'Arachel had felt like she was walking on air for the rest of the day. Serious as she could be, Eirika never spoke of politics; her letters brought only joy to her heart.
"So, Your Majesty," said Dozla once he'd finished his sixth egg, "what are your plans for today?"
"Oh, you know this and that," she answered. "I'll ask Pierre about it soon enough. It's his job to worry about things like schedules and times, and my job to carry them out."
"You shouldn't put so much pressure on your secretary," Rennac said.
"Are you volunteering to take his place, Rennac? I'm sure Pierre would be thrilled if I sent him on a long vacation and had you take over! Though I doubt you'd be half as good at his job as he is."
"Of course I'm not."
Of course he wasn't! Loyal as he was, Rennac would have been thrilled to assist her in scheduling and organizing her life, but he wanted the very best for her, and he knew he simply wasn't the best. His strengths lay in eavesdropping (which wasn't often necessary as of late), and thieving (which was never necessary, but especially not as of late), and, surprisingly, offering his honest opinion on the many art pieces she brought into the castle.
Ostensibly she'd employed him as a bodyguard who could double as a spy should it ever be necessary, but in truth he spent most of his days staying in her general vicinity, pretending to ignore her (to provide privacy, of course!), and occasionally helping her select which tapestries belonged where and which of a long list of potential gifts would be the loveliest for her friends. After the war, when she returned to Rausten, she quickly grew to dearly miss not only Eirika but also the plethora of others she'd met in her quest for justice, and each of the group that she still maintained regular contact with also received regular correspondence and presents.
("Do you really think the king of Jehanna wants to get a sculpture of a hippopotamus of all things for his twenty-eighth birthday?" he'd asked her a few months ago as she carefully packed that precise item in a padded wooden box.
"You said yourself the artistry was stunning!"
"I said it was impressive, and I didn't mean it the way you apparently thought I did. It's purple. Don't you think he'd like something like a book?"
"I've never seen him reading."
"That doesn't mean he doesn't!"
The statue had arrived safely in Jehanna, and Joshua had sent her a very polite thank-you note that said he'd return her generosity for her own birthday, which she immediately and rather smugly showed off to Rennac.)
That day, she had planned to focus on whatever Pierre had planned for her, which was more than likely something relatively dull. As the Divine Emperor, work was never done, and much of it was not particularly compelling. There were things to sign (marriage licenses were her favorite), and things to read, and things to offer her opinion on, and things to think on and call a meeting with the nation's other officials about later. Each bit of it was important work, vital to the well-being of Rausten! Yet she had come to understand why her uncle had always laughed when, as a child, she told him that she knew being Emperor would be fun.
L'Arachel half-skipped from the dining room toward her private study, her heels clicking pleasantly on the stone floor as Dozla and Rennac trailed behind her. She could work the day away, either until everything was taken care of or until she grew weary. Dozla would keep himself busy in the courtyard nearby, spending some time with the hunting dogs perhaps, and Rennac would stay on the opposite side of her study, his nose in a book. And nothing special would happen, but it would keep her busy while she awaited Eirika's next letter.
That was how it went for an hour or two, L'Arachel giving her tasks what Rennac would call "a surprising amount of focus" (and she did so love surprising people). She wasn’t particularly enjoying reading over every fine detail of the plans for a new theatre that was to be built with her approval, but she was rather enamored with her own thoughts of what might be performed there. She snapped out of her reverie (a reverie for the greater good!) when a knock came at her door.
"Rennac!" she called, and he sighed, but got up promptly enough. "Getting up every once in a while while you're sitting is good for you!" she added, still seated.
"Can I help you?" he asked as he opened the door, but the woman on the other side walked past him and directly to L'Arachel. The Emperor recognized her as one of her ladies-in-waiting, a mousy and kindhearted young woman who was fond of taffies. She was out of breath, and in her hand was a letter that L'Arachel snatched from her on sight.
"From Renais!" the lady said, although the letter had already left her hand for L'Arachel to examine.
"Thank you for your delivery, Samantha, and for your haste!" L'Arachel said. Her heart sang: her attendants had become quite skilled at picking out what bits of her mail needed to be read immediately, and which she could get to at her leisure. Surely, it was from her beloved!
But upon second glance, the handwriting on the envelope was different though the letter was closed with the familiar seal of Renais’ royal family. Might something have happened to darling Eirika, forcing her to have to dictate it to someone? Just as L'Arachel could imagine a thousand possibilities about how to make a dull day exciting, so too could she imagine a thousand things that could have led to this abnormality.
Refusing to let her worries get the best of her, she slid her finger underneath the seal, opened the envelope, and pulled out the paper inside. It was short, and the author seemed to write with a heavier hand than Eirika, with penmanship that was neat, but a touch harder to read. Her eyes went to the bottom of the letter first; the signature was not Eirika's, but it was from someone else who was typically worth her time.
L'Arachel,
Sorry to write you out of the blue like this -- but then again, you did say my correspondence was always welcome, huh? Something about busying myself with something productive instead of getting into mischief. Like I have time for mischief these days.
Anyway, I'm in Renais right now, and I wanted to get you in the loop. The king and queen didn't want you to worry your pretty head over what's been happening, but they didn't tell me not to write to you, so I figure it's fine. Eirika was the target of an assassination attempt
L'Arachel felt her blood run cold as she read those words. She quickly continued, hoping that since she was getting this information by letter, everything had been resolved behind the scenes. Surely if something grave had happened to Eirika, it would have been news that spread rapidly across the continent. She had to have faith in that.
so she's pretty shaken up. She's safe now, no harm done physically, but everyone here's a little on edge. As for me, I just happened to be in the area. A bit of good luck, isn't it? So for the time being, Gerik and I are staying in the castle, just in case the royal family needs a hand. If anyone asks, it's good for international relations.
I don't know what you're up to right now, but if you're bored I'm sure a visit won't be amiss. I think the queen would appreciate seeing your smiling face, even though she's too polite to ask you.
See you soon either way -- I'm still invited to your birthday party, right?
Joshua
L'Arachel clutched the letter to her chest, as if squeezing it tightly enough would somehow be the same as squeezing Eirika as tightly as she deserved.
"An assassin? Unthinkable! Who would ever dare target her?" she cried out. The lady-in-waiting winced ever so slightly at L'Arachel's volume, but was prudent enough to say nothing in response.
"An assassin?" Rennac repeated. "What's going on in Renais?"
"Rennac, we must attend to her with haste! We leave before sunset -- no, we leave immediately!"
"Did you already forget that it takes four days to get there? You're not going to be able to swoop in and save anyone right away no matter when we leave."
"All the more reason to leave quickly!" she tucked the letter in her breast pocket, a way of keeping Eirika's words close to her heart. Rennac found himself sharply turned around so he was facing the door, then firmly patted on the back several times. "Go! Go!"
"Go where?"
"Go get Dozla, tell him we're leaving!"
"Okay, all right, I'm going..."
She watched with great impatience as he left the room, presumably headed for the courtyard to fetch Dozla. He may have been a stick in the mud sometimes, but as much as he protested, Rennac saw little reason to disobey her commands. Her fondness for him ran deep, built from the ground up after years of trust and service, and she had great confidence that what lay in his heart was kind and true.
After he'd left, it occurred to her that she didn't provide a single detail from the letter to him. Well, no matter. They'd have plenty of time to discuss it on the journey.
...
There was something quite majestic about travelling by carriage, but this time it only felt like L’Arachel was being restricted from freely going to her darling. In truth, her preference was horseback: a cool breeze blowing through her hair, the sun warming her face, and the sheer freedom of traversing mountains and plains alike without a stodgy driver leading the way.
If only she had done that today! She could have urged her mount on and on, faster than the wind, and arrived at Rausten in no time at all. She could gallop past the castle gates, the guards not speaking to her but simply knowing that this -- this was the queen's savior! She could appear under Eirika's window unannounced, for she would arrive more quickly than any messenger, and call out to her. Eirika would look down upon her with glee, and smile ear to ear as she called out her name, and run down to meet her. She would fling herself into L'Arachel's arms, and then...!
"This isn't very romantic," she said, staring out of the tiny, stuffy carriage’s tiny window. Certainly it was the best one that she had, but that meant little.
Dozla chuckled from the other seat, across from her. "It's true, this carriage simply isn't big enough to contain your majestic spirit! Only the open plains can do that!"
"You understand!"
"I always do!"
"Dozla, you truly have a place in heaven!"
He laughed fondly once again as she flopped back in her seat. She'd given up on good posture a few hours ago and was now constantly shifting, trying to get comfortable on hard seating for the long journey ahead. For a few minutes they sat in silence, enjoying the smooth and steady path of the carriage and the scenery passing by, endless fields of grain and still overcast skies.
"Dozla!" she called after a moment.
"Your Majesty!"
"How long do you think it will be?"
"Until we stop for the night?"
"Until we get there. Rennac!"
"What is it?" he called from the front of the carriage, where he sat behind the driver -- to give L'Arachel more room to stretch out, he claimed.
"How long do you think it will be?"
"Still the full four days, minus a few hours."
"Preposterous! Simply preposterous!"
"That's just how it is," Rennac said. "So are you going to tell us what's going on with the queen or not?"
"I barely know myself! The letter was from Joshua -- she must have been so distressed she'd not had the chance to write me. He simply said she'd fallen victim to an assassination attempt!"
"Ah."
"Oh, she's not dead, Rennac, how morbid!"
"I didn't say anything."
"She's fine, according to him, but in great distress and simply aching for me to be by her side." L'Arachel waved her hand in a dismissive gesture that Rennac couldn't see, given that he was facing the road. "No, no, he didn't say so in as many words, but I know she is. I am her dearest friend, you know."
She continued to gesture even more wildly than usual as she spoke, hoping to work off some of her nervous energy that way. It was so difficult to feel like she was sitting still at such a terrifying time! Mere hours ago she'd only been concerned about whether her signature looked as neat as it ought to on her documents, and now...!
"At the risk of distressing you further, Your Majesty, don't you think it might be the case that she's not waiting for you? She didn't summon for you herself, or have her brother do it, for that matter, and she has plenty of friends there with her -- including the king of Jehanna and his retainer, or whatever he is."
"Rennac!" she cried out. "How could you?"
"Let me finish, okay? It's sweet of you, but having more guests to entertain is just going to give her more stress, and then you'll get stressed because she's stressed. And on top of that, what if the assassin was part of a bigger group? Then you've got more potential threats on the loose, with half of Magvel's rulers all in one place. It just seems like a lose-lose situation to me."
"Rennac, I must ask you to cease your prattle this instant! Eirika does want me there and so does everyone else! As for the threat of assassins, why, that's nothing compared to the things we've been through!"
"Suit yourself," he said. "I'm getting paid the same either way."
She flopped back in her seat, her head hitting it with an unpleasant thump -- the moment this was over she would get these seats reupholstered with something softer -- and swore to herself that she'd ignore Rennac for the rest of the journey. His words were nonsense, surely! Yet there was a seed of doubt that had taken root within her, for Rennac, prickly as he could be, rarely discouraged her from doing much of anything.
"Ha! Don't listen to him!" said Dozla. "He's getting old now, no sense of adventure left in him!"
"I'm half your age, old man!" yelled Rennac from the front of the carriage.
"Nobody would ever be upset to see your smiling face, but especially not her. Isn't that what friendship is about?" Dolza added, ignoring him entirely
"Ah, but of course you are right," L'Arachel said with a smile, thought a storm was brewing in her heart.
...
Just as Rennac reminded her several more times, the journey from Castle Rausten to Castle Renais took four days when one factored in the minimum reasonable number of rest stops and time spent in inns. He reminded her, too, that it would not be any faster if she simply took off with one of the horses: she'd still have to sleep, and so would the horse, and what if something terrible happened and she didn't have her beloved retainers by her side?
She was loath to admit it, but his logic was sound, and provided a helpful contrast to her fancies and Dozla's. He didn't bring up the possibility that Eirika might not be anxiously awaiting her arrival again; it seemed that he had said his piece on the first day of the journey, and was willing to accept her dismissal of the idea.
Still, his words were impossible to forget, though she wasn't quite sure why. She'd dealt with setbacks aplenty in her life, but the thought of being rejected by Eirika would be the most terrifying setback of all. Surely, if the queen were too distraught to take visitors, no ill would come to pass, and L'Arachel would simply have a lovely vacation in Renais with (oafish yet noble) Ephraim and (mischievous yet hilarious) Joshua.
The thought of it provided little comfort; the only thing that mattered now was Eirika's happiness.
Even after years of knowing Eirika, it was hard for L'Arachel to put into words just how treasured she was -- an odd thing to say considering the dozens of times L'Arachel had done just that, and then sent those words by her speediest courier. In any case, she was a woman of action, not of words, and that meant that it was through action that she had to show Eirika just how treasured she was.
To her dismay, their arrival in Renais was distressingly uneventful. Judging by the place of the sun, it was afternoon, still a time aways from the dinner hour. Dozla had taken a turn sitting by the driver and had been chatting away until the very moment they reached the castle gates; Rennac had graciously joined her inside the carriage and was apparently enraptured by some little knick-knack that he said was a puzzle to keep his fingers deft; and L'Arachel had half reached the point of taking a nap, though the bustle of the city was interesting enough to stop her from fully slipping into sleep.
She realized with a start that they had arrived when the movement of the carriage ceased, and realized that she really ought to have found a way to send a messenger ahead that morning when it didn't begin to move again in short enough order.
"Excuse me!" she called, "Is something the matter?"
There was a thin flap of cloth between the driver and the carriage's interior, and now he lifted it.
"My apologies, your majesty, but they're asking for a permit of some sort."
"Ha!" said Dozla, "I suppose there has been an assassination attempt, so it's only natural."
"How did you know that?" asked a voice outside, presumably one of the guards.
They were wasting time now, and that would simply not do! L'Arachel boldly opened the carriage door and stepped out, a small "ah" escaping her throat despite her better efforts (getting a cramp in one's leg while one was traveling was not ladylike).
"Will this be adequate?" she asked, thrusting Joshua's letter at the guard. It was easy enough to retrieve, having never left her breast pocket, and it should have been more than enough to verify her legitimacy.
The guard took the letter from her and skimmed Joshua's words. He struck L'Arachel as simply confused, not malicious, and sure enough he nodded as he got to the end. "Why didn't you say so in the first place?" he asked, then, seeming to suddenly realize his transgression, bowed deeply. "That is... welcome, Your Majesty. His Majesty, the king of Jehanna, told us that you may be coming. I apologize for the trouble, but, you see..."
"Say no more, and grovel no more! I'm truly pleased to see that my dear friend has ample protection in these times of distress. Indeed, I ought to be bowing to you for your steadfast service."
"Ah," said the guard.
"Good man, I understand! It must be a shock to see my glory beside you, and showering you with praise to boot."
"She's always like this," Rennac called from inside the carriage.
"Right! Well then," L'Arachel said, wishing dearly that her changes of clothes weren't packed in the back of the carriage, and that she had brought anything fancier than her everyday garb -- quality items to be sure, and designed by some of Rausten's finest, but still it was everyday garb. "May my driver be shown to the stables, and my retainers and I request a meeting with the queen?"
...
She was quite certain that she would never forget the expression on Eirika's face when she saw her there, unexpected and unannounced and frankly quite in need of a bath. It was Seth who knocked on the door and announced that there was something for her to see -- the ambiguity was per L'Arachel's suggestion, for she adored surprises. L'Arachel noticed a weariness in Eirika's eyes that quickly gave way to shock when they locked with L'Arachel's, then joy.
At that L'Arachel flung her arms around her, clutching her almost too tightly as she had clutched Joshua's letter just hours before. But this was Eirika in the flesh, and every moment with her was a thousand times more meaningful than all letters, all gifts combined. She stumbled back from the force of it but quickly recovered, and L'Arachel found her hug returned, Eirika's strong arms around her.
"How did you know to come?" Eirika asked, voice barely a whisper in L'Arachel's ear. It made her shiver; it had been so very long since she'd heard that beautiful sound.
"A little birdy told me," she responded. "Don't worry yourself about the details."
Standing there together, with the grime of L'Arachel's journey no doubt rubbing off on Eirika's lovely clean gown, the two of them for a moment had not a care in the world. Eirika asked no more.
After several minutes of holding Eirika, the two of them alone in their own world, it had occurred to L'Arachel that just beyond her beloved were Ephraim, Joshua, and Gerik, huddled around a table, upon which sat a board game of some sort. As they said their hellos, Eirika seemed to realize something and dashed over to Seth, then the two of them discussed something, speaking quietly and quickly. She dismissed him and walked back to join the group, looking adorably sheepish.
"He's seeing to it that we have a decent dinner for you. I'm sorry we didn't have anything prepared."
It was custom, of course, to hold a feast when the leader of another nation was visiting your castle. It was one of L'Arachel's favorite customs, as a matter of fact. But she'd never dare to request it, and she never had to, for under typical circumstances Eirika and Ephraim would have already arranged one in anticipation of their guest. Under these atypical circumstances, of course no such accommodation had been made. And none needed to!
"I would gladly choose to starve if it was for your well-being!" L'Arachel said, taking Eirika's hands in hers.
Eirika blinked; she wasn't half as inclined toward physical contact as L'Arachel, but never seemed to mind L'Arachel's tactile nature. "Er, I don't think that will be necessary. We have plenty of food."
"You know what I mean!"
"If we let you get hungry for even a moment, you'd never let me hear the end of it," called Ephraim from his seat. He wasn't wrong. "So just let us fuss over you in the first place instead of complaining about it later."
"Well then, I thank you for your generosity, dear Eirika," L'Arachel said to her bosom friend. To Ephraim, she glared daggers.
...
It was only once they'd sat down to dine several hours later that L'Arachel's stomach growled, and she realized just how hungry she had been. Seeing her friends again had been such a thrill that she’d been able to ignore her hunger as they had a lighthearted quarrel over the rules of the board game (and then swiftly all been beaten by Gerik, who insisted he hadn’t played it before). But her breakfast had been a humble one from the inn at which they had stayed, and now lunch had gone completely forgotten. (Except by Dozla, who had assured the guards he knew where he was going and wandered off at some point while the rest of them relaxed together.)
It was unladylike, but she had to acknowledge that the sight of the food before them made her drool: wine that Eirika had selected from the castle’s vast cellar, chicken seasoned to perfection, a selection of steamed and roasted vegetables, and loaves upon loaves of freshly baked bread. At the earliest possible moment she began to eat, the melting butter on warm bread tasting as lovely at that moment as any of the nation's finest cakes. By the standards of a queen and king welcoming royal guests, it was nothing; between friends, it was a feast.
Eirika sat directly next to her and ate with the delicacy of a woman who had managed to consume several square meals that day, which pleased L'Arachel. She laughed when they by chance made eye contact, a piece of goat halfway into L'Arachel's mouth, and L'Arachel felt her cheeks redden.
"It's good to see you smiling so easily," L’Arachel said, setting down both fork and food.
"It's you who makes it easy,” Eirika replied.
With conversation flowing freely as the drink did, it felt like no time passed at all, though it must have been hours before dinner ended. L’Arachel had barely noticed the servants lighting candles around the room as the sun sank, so enraptured as she was with the company. By the by, her eyelids began to grow heavy, but she fought to keep them open -- missing even a moment of the excitement simply wouldn’t do!
The weight of the day -- the exhaustion of travel, the emotional highs and lows she’d experienced in such a short time, and the many glasses of absolutely scrumptious wine -- she rose to leave the table and promptly stumbled on her first step. Eirika reached to catch her too late, and the two of them tumbled to the floor together.
"My apologies, Eirika... I may have had a bit too much drink," L'Arachel mumbed from under her. "I suppose sleep is overdue."
She heard a familiar laugh from above, and felt Dozla help Eirika up off of her. He then offered his hand to her, and she lazily pulled herself up, letting him do most of the work.
"Ha! Your Majesty, it's been a while since you've had such a celebration!" Dozla said, tone free of judgement. "And you, Queen Eirika -- I've never seen you so joyous with drink!"
"I haven't had that much, but I suppose it was enough to have a rather unbecoming effect.” A blush reached nearly to Eirika's ears, which was really precisely the opposite of unbecoming.
“Don’t be ridiculous! You’ve not had a graceless moment in your entire life!” L’Arachel said. “And It's only natural that you relax around me! In fact I would be rather insulted if you didn't."
"As for me, I won't tell anyone about what unqueenly things either of you does in your spare time!" Dozla added. "It's good to have a bit of fun when you're young -- though personally, I see no reason to stop when you're old."
"I wholeheartedly agree!" L'Arachel said.
"We've had enough fun for the night, though, don't you think?" Eirika said. "Come, I'll show you to the guest chamber we've prepared."
There was no need to show her, for L'Arachel had spent many a night in the same guest chamber, a fine room near Eirika's own that she always ordered to be decorated with fresh-cut flowers when L'Arachel was staying over. Now, when L'Arachel knew her friend had been so recently in distress, it had lost its appeal.
"Why don't I stay with you instead?" she asked, voice full of cheer. "Surely this distressing time has led to night terrors."
Eirika crocked an eyebrow at her request. "I... haven't had night terrors, no, but I must admit it's not always so easy to fall asleep. Still, I couldn't possibly expect you to keep me company. But I have guards, and-"
"Think nothing of it!" she called, already walking off. She was a bit more steady on her feet now but still stumbling slightly. Eirika followed, and Dozla -- always a bit of a mother hen, albeit one who never told his chick "no" -- walked a few paces behind them.
It was fortunate that Eirika was able to catch up to her. L'Arachel quickly realized that she didn't know the castle half as well as she had thought she did, especially during the dead of night after several glasses of mead. Together, the three of them made it to Eirika's chambers, and Dozla wished the two of them well after he was assured that they were safely inside, two women indeed standing guard outside.
It wasn't the first time she'd visited these rooms, and entering them once again felt a bit nostalgic, a bit like coming home. Weary from the night's festivities, L'Arachel went straight toward Eirika's bed and flopped down, face-first. The previous few nights had been spent at various inns, the nicest they could manage but still not much compared to the luxury of a queen's chambers. Already she began to feel sleep taking her as she settled into the soft comfort, but was started awake by Eirika's hand on her back.
"At least change into a nightgown," she said, almost apologetically. "I'm sure you don't want to bother going to retrieve your luggage tonight, but we should be close enough in size."
L'Arachel rolled over in the bed, propped herself up, and yawned. Eirika had set two nightgowns next to her, and now L'Arachel began to remove her clothes, especially glad she'd managed to take a proper bath before dinner now that she was going to be sharing a bed with Eirika. After pulling one of the nightgowns over her head, she realized that Eirika had turned around and was standing stiffly in place.
"Are you done?" she asked after a silence.
"Oh, yes!" L'Arachel answered, only now realizing that it was rather inappropriate of her to strip in front of a friend unprompted. Suddenly she felt very shy; was the lingering haze of the drink causing her to misbehave? Despite her doubt, she spoke with confidence. "Dear Eirika, I apologize for startling you, but there's no need to be embarrassed. Still, I shall cover my eyes when you change."
"That's..." Eirika turned around, face once again red, and took the second nightgown from the bed without another word.
"That's what?" L'Arachel called from the bed as Eirika skittered off into the opposite corner of the room to change. As promised, she covered her eyes.
"Well," she paused again. "Is it possible that perhaps our relationship is rather... intimate? In a way that some might find odd?"
"But of course! We are bosom friends! If someone were to find it odd, I would call that a sign of jealousy."
Eirika looked almost relieved when L'Arachel said that, although it was hard to tell when her eyes were so heavy with sleep. She sat in the bed next to her; it was large, with more than enough room for two people, and L'Arachel marveled again at how wonderful slipping between the covers felt after a long, stressful few days.
She lay facing Eirika, sleep threatening to overtake her at any moment, and marveled for what felt like the thousandth time that day how lovely she looked. There was a warmth then in her hand, Eirika's hand shyly reaching for hers, then offering a gentle squeeze.
"Thank you for coming," she whispered; a chill ran up L'Arachel's spine.
Earlier that day, Rennac had told L’Arachel that she should have reconsidered rushing to Eirika’s side unprompted, a thought that had sat at the back of her mind even as they went about their celebration. It was clearer now than ever before that she had made the right choice.
"You are so dear to me," L'Arachel whispered back before slipping into her dreams.
...
It occurred to her only the next day, after they'd awakened and broken their fasts, that she'd never thanked Joshua for his correspondence. Ruling a country was a good look for him: it allowed him to put his stubbornness to good use while distracting him from indulging too much in his vices. She'd thought him a bit of a scoundrel before they'd fought the demon king, but he had a good heart, and made good conversation.
“Joshua!” she said, stepping directly into his path as he exited the dining room. “I must thank you profusely for your letter, and for your insight in sending it! You have truly matured!”
“I’m sure you know that I’m several years older than you, but I’ll accept your thanks and your compliment nonetheless.”
“No need to put any stock in that kind of thing! Eirika and I had a most lovely night, which could only have happened with your aid.”
"You announced quite loudly last night that you would be joining her in her chambers, so I'm quite aware of that." The expression on his face could only be described as a smirk, as if he was the cat who ate the canary and found his master's panic amusing. "Say, what happened to being a holy woman?"
The night before had been a blur of excitement, tears, and wine; L'Arachel remembered it in bits and pieces, in jokes and smiles and fragmented moments, in Eirika's hand in hers and Eirika's smile, and Eirika curling up beside her to sleep.
She didn't recall much of what she'd said to her other friends, so focused as she was on Eirika. Had she made a fool of herself to them?
"What could possibly be unholy about-- oh!" The weight of Joshua's words made sense now, after turning the events of the night over in her head and considering his implications. "Do not mock me! Nothing of the sort, and if there was, there'd be nothing unholy about it! You're even more of a scoundrel than I thought."
"I haven't sat through any church services since I was small, so I'll take your word for it. Consider yourself lucky, I doubt her brother objects half as much as he would if you were a man."
"You are certainly in no position to talk."
"Sure, but I'm not in denial about it."
If she'd been a lesser woman, she might have lost her noble bearing, turned heel and simply walked away. As it was, L'Arachel could only pout, though she did little to hide it.
"Listen, I'm not trying to make fun of you," Joshua continued. "I truly thought the two of you were already lovers, some kind of open secret. You can accuse me of whatever you want, but I sense there's a kinship between us."
"We are not lovers," she said, though it came out without the firmness she had hoped for. "Eirika and I... we have a bond that goes beyond that."
"That's all well and good, but sometimes the 'lovers' thing is nice too. That's all."
It would be a lie to say that the thought had never crossed her mind. Dozens of novels lined her walls, and more than a few were about people finding solace in each other that lead to tender embraces and passionate nights. She'd thought of Eirika that way, too: Eirika embracing her, holding her chin in her hand with a gentle firmness, running her thumb across L'Arachel's lip before their mouths touched.
But that sort of thing would take time, patience, and -- most importantly -- would need to be initiated by the most majestic confession possible. Eirika deserved the world, and anything that was less than perfect would simply not do. After years of pondering it, no time seemed like the right time for that, and no plan to confess seemed quite right. She’d almost done it during the war, when she prevented Eirika with the ruby, but something had stopped L’Arachel from taking the final step, from saying the final words that would turn a gift into a confession.
L’Arachel had always prided herself on her ability to banish fear to the deepest crevices of her mind, to take the actions that she knew her heart desired despite any reasons there may have been to hesitate. Fighting monsters was easy. Asking Eirika how she felt about her seemed impossible.
Because… what could she possibly do if Eirika rejected her?
Her shoulders slumped, weary as she was from trying to uphold an image of unfaltering pride when being confronted so directly. A part of her knew he was right, that there was nothing for them to truly argue about. Still, admitting it felt like defeat. "Don't become too accustomed to my saying this, but you're right. Still, romance isn't as simple as you make it out to be. Not for most of us."
"I suppose I've had good fortune in that department, though I like to think it's just as much a skill. Not sure how to tell her?" He pulled a coin out of goodness only knew where, tossed it in the air. "If luck is on your side, I'll give you a hand."
She was inclined to chide him for making light of the situation, but it broke the tension. This, she was familiar with.
"No, I shall figure it out myself. And you ought to stop gambling in other people’s castles."
He shrugged, tucking the coin away. "Suit yourself, and let me know if you change your mind."
"You ought to know better than to place any bets with me, Joshua! I always win."
"There you go! Take that confidence with you when you seduce the queen!"
Ever the holy woman, she fought the urge to swat him. "That isn't what I meant and you know it!"
"You're a sweet girl, L'Arachel. Enjoy that, because I might not say it again for a while."
She fought a blush as he walked away, heading to join the rest of the group -- who, come to think of it, might be concerned over their absence at this point.
Notes:
There's too much Joshua in this chapter and there will continue to be too much Joshua in every chapter.
Chapter 3
Summary:
"We were able to get the prisoners to talk,” Ephraim said.
L'Arachel's mouth dropped open, but Eirika, despite sharing her surprise, held her expression steady.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The newfound calm in her heart felt odd, given the circumstances that had come before it. So little time had passed since she almost lost her life, and so little had changed, but now that her dear friends were gathered here the threat felt so far away. For several days now she had been able to go about her normal routine with little worry, so long as L'Arachel was by her side. It wasn't her strength that was reassuring, per se. Though L’Arachel absolutely insisted that if another assassin came by, she would simply give them a sound whacking on the head and that would be that, she would not be much more of a threat to a surprise intruder than Eirika could be alone. But something about L'Arachel's presence was gentle, soothing.
Were those who used divine magic simply that way by their very nature? Certainly, Natasha and Artur had been calming presences as comrades in arms in the battle against the Demon King, but the feeling was a bit different. They had soothed her with prudent words and delicate touches as they healed her wounds, and that in turn brought her calm. But L'Arachel was blunt, and her magic was not always as delicate as she liked to believe; being healed by her, Eirika remembered, had made her heart beat and her face flush from the sheer intensity of the experience. No, if L'Arachel's presence was soothing to her in this time of crisis, that must be a testimony to the strength of their friendship, not a mere consequence of her magic.
"What are you thinking about? I simply must know!" L'Arachel asked, a step or two away. She’d convinced Eirika yet again that they ought to spend the afternoon in the gardens, and now they wove through the tulips on a narrow stone path, L'Arachel hopping from stone to stone. Some ways away were a few knights, of course, but they kept enough distance that the conversation felt more or less private. Eirika could almost forget they were there, though every so often she saw one out of the corner of her eye and was reminded that the threat still remained.
That was how each of Eirika’s days seemed to go: she would relax, enjoy her day, and start to forget about what had taken place. Then some tiny thing would jog her memory, and she'd start to fret all over again. And then L'Arachel would do some pleasant little thing, ask Eirika if she wanted to share a pot of lady grey or point out some lovely painting that Eirika hadn't paid attention to in years or -- and these memories were best of all -- simply smile and laugh and talk about nothing in particular. Without fail, Eirika would eventually forget her worries. And then the cycle started over again.
L’Arachel could only stay here with her for so long, and that was a shame to admit to herself. If only there was some way they could be by each other’s side every day.
"I'm thinking about how there are too many thoughts in my head," Eirika admitted, shading her eyes from the bright sun. "How do you manage to be so laid-back all of the time?"
L’Arachel laughed, soft and sweet. She laughed often around her, and not half as much when they were with the rest of the group, so that laughter felt like a prize only for Eirika. She was the most fortunate woman in the world, or so it seemd these days -- not for all of her renown, her political power, or her jewels, but because she was able to so freely see L'Arachel, pure and unguarded.
"And why shouldn't I be?” L’Arachel replied. “The answer, I think, is obvious: I was born enveloped by the light of all that is divine, and I've never wanted for much of anything. And besides..." At this she stopped to face Eirika and gave her an unexpected tap on the nose, "I am fortunate enough to spend every day alongside dear friends -- Dozla, Rennac, and most of all, my darling bosom friend, the queen of Renais."
Eirika shook her head to tease L’Arachel for her whimsy, but gave her a fond smile. "I have each of those things, and yet my outlook isn't half as optimistic as yours."
"What is this! Are you getting depressed? Eirika, you've been through much worse than this, yet you not only saw victory but indeed brought light to a nation. I should say surviving that sort of thing and then going on to rebuild your country -- to great success, might I add -- is a sign of immense optimism for the future."
"But if you were targeted by an assassin, I don't think you'd even let it bother you, would you? Certainly you wouldn't sit around feeling sorry for yourself until I came to see you."
She seemed to ponder this for a moment, for a short time at a loss for words. "I've never been in such a situation, so I can't say for sure what I would do. Still... I think your reaction is normal. Everyone else seems to think so as well." She sighed. "I only wish I might have rushed to your side sooner. Rausten is just so far."
"I ought to have said it before, but I'm sorry I didn't write to you about it," she paused. "Or rather, I wrote you three letters and didn't send any of them."
"Is that so? You'll have to show them to me when we go back inside."
"Ah, there's nothing interesting in them. Not now, not when you already know the main thrust of it, and you've already arrived to find out the details in person."
"I would gladly indulge in your letters no matter what they were about! None of your dear words ought to be lost. And with you here to read them aloud, all the better."
"L'Arachel, please. I am about to blush."
To her good fortune, Eirika had no need to hide any more blushes, for the moment of bliss was interrupted by the sound of footsteps behind them. They turned to see Ephraim, still clad in the formal robes he wore only when he was particularly determined to indicate that his presence was as the king. Not fond of such a stiff outfit, he generally preferred to wear the most comfortable clothing he could get away with, so the robes were a clear indication that he had been involved with some particularly important business. He wore a grim expression as well, and Eirika was suddenly and unfortunately reminded that the world was not half as peaceful as it had just felt in this moment.
"Sit, sit! I don't want your depressing face looming over us!" L'Arachel said, already several paces away from them, seated on a nearby patch of grass. If Ephraim was annoyed by her whimsy, he didn't allow it to show on his face.
"What's the matter, brother?" Eirika asked as they joined her. He rolled the grass in his fingers for a moment before speaking. It was an odd sight: her brother clad in his finest clothes, sitting and playing with the grass like he had when they were small, still not the least bit concerned about the staining. Had he not been so somber, she’d have expected him to rip it out and scatter it on her next.
But so much about him was different than it had been as a child. His clothes, yes, but he’d also developed an unwavering tone, a regal bearing. She found herself thinking about how neither of them would ever be able to take on a disguise the same way L'Arachel and Joshua had managed to during the war. If they had, would they have met them sooner? Later?
...still too many thoughts. She needed to focus.
"We were able to get the prisoners to talk,” Ephraim said.
L'Arachel's mouth dropped open, but Eirika, despite sharing her surprise, held her expression steady.
"What did you find out?" Eirika asked. It was inevitable that this time would come, but despite that knowledge, despite hours of contemplating how she’d react to each possibility, now her mind felt void of ideas and she could only listen.
"Before I say anything else, I'll tell you this: of all the possibilities, it seems to be one where you're in relatively low danger. That is to say, the overall rebel effort is small."
"How do you know they're telling the truth?” L’arachel asked. “Anyone rotten enough to hurt Eirika is not worthy of our trust."
"I don't disagree. But they gave us the information we requested, and that's better than what we knew before. They told us the two of them were part of a small group, one that has existed for a number of years. That their dislike for our family is something that originated several generations back."
His statement provided little reassurance, but at least it was something. "Then they don't bear a grudge against me, specifically?" Eirika asked.
Ephraim nodded. "I suppose they thought you were a convenient target for their revenge." He grinned, the same lopsided grin he had used with his allies after a successful battle. "Probably didn't expect you to be so good at fighting back. You probably didn't get a good look at him, but the man who was holding you down was sizable. I doubt I'd have done much differently if he snuck up behind me."
"Don't underestimate women, Ephraim!" L'Arachel butted in.
"I didn't-- listen, what I mean is they underestimated her, as a woman. Not many people expect a queen to be half as strong-willed as either of you two. That's all."
"Hmph! I'm sure Eirika got away even quicker than you would have."
"L'Arachel, that's not-" Eirika said, but was cut off before she could continue.
"What they told you brings up more questions than answers! What kind of family grudge? What happened many years back that's only bubbling to the surface now? What did they expect to accomplish by an assassination? Did you even think to ask them any of these things?" she spoke quickly, only pausing briefly to take a breath. "I need to talk to them myself, and get to the bottom of this!"
"One thing at a time, all right?" Ephraim said, and Eirika recognized a hit of annoyance in his tone that L'Arachel likely didn't. "It's not that we didn't ask them more questions, but they only seem willing to tell us so much. Most prisoners are like that -- they'll only reveal the information that might make them look innocent enough to free."
"Hmph! Innocent?"
"Well, if we let them walk free, they couldn't exactly get away with the same plan a second time. And if we choose to believe them that the issue isn't personal, that could mean that we would be comfortable letting them part after making a simple truce."
"What do you think we should do?" Eirika asked. Both of the others were right: there was no way of truly knowing if their prisoners were speaking honestly, and even if they were, there was little doubt that they were selecting their words carefully.
"L'Arachel... I don't think they'll be convinced to tell you any more than they told me. If you really wished to speak with them, and brought Eirika along it might go better. Maybe looking straight into the eyes of their victim would prompt them to reveal something new. But Eirika, if you prefer not to..."
What else could she do? The other option was to step back and stew in her own uncertainty, possibly forever, and let the pair rot in the dungeon when there may have been something more she could have done to prevent them from suffering. That seemed like a coward’s way out. Not appropriate of her status, and most definitely not consistent with her morals.
"I'll go," Eirika said, voice full of conviction. "It won't be the first time I've looked death in the face."
"That's the spirit!" L'Arachel said.
...
It had been years since Eirika had been to Castle Renais' dungeon, though she still remembered the terrifying time she had been as a child, when she and Ephraim would play hide and seek. The first time he'd hidden there, she hadn't even thought to look and gave up after searching for an hour, only to have Ephraim later return and tell her she ought to have looked harder.
The next time they'd played he'd gone somewhere entirely different, and when she searched the dungeon she was quickly overwhelmed by its darkness, its musty smell. She hadn't even gone as far as where the prisoners would be kept -- she knew that even Ephraim wasn't such a foolish child that he'd do that -- but the mere knowledge of where she had been struck great fear in her young heart.
After that, they had a strict no-dungeon rule when it came to playing games together.
"Do you remember when I crawled into your bed in the middle of the night after I came down here by myself?" she asked as the three of them -- Ephraim in the lead, then Eirika, and L'Arachel in the rear -- walked carefully down the steps, their footsteps echoing into what felt like an endless staircase and infinitely long underground hallway.
"Of course I do!" Ephraim said with a chuckle. "You were crying so much about how sad it would be to be in a prison cell that my pillow ended up soaked. Meanwhile I’d barely thought about it at that age."
"It was not soaked! Just a little wet."
"You must have been such a darling child, Eirika. If only I had known the two of you back then," L'Arachel said. "Though I think we'd end up wandering off and leaving your dear brother behind."
"A likely story! Eirika refused to leave my side until we were teenagers," Ephraim said.
"You can claim that now, but if I ever said I didn't want to play with you when we were children, it was you who was crying," Eirika said.
"Goodness, listening to you makes me wish that I had a sibling," L'Arachel said, punctuating her words with a sigh.
"It can be rather frustrating as a child, but I wouldn't give him up for the world," Eirika said. "Especially during times like this."
Ephraim turned to them as they reached the foot of the stairs. "Are you sure you'll be all right? I know this whole situation has been distressing for you."
"Of course it's distressing! I am also distressed, for Eirika's sake!" L'Arachel said, waving around the tome she had opted to bring “just in case”! ("In case of what?" was Ephraim’s ignored question.)
"I'll be fine. This is also part of my duty as queen," Eirika said.
"You're strong," he said with a nod.
She didn't feel strong -- but then, maybe choosing to do this despite her doubts was what made him say that she was strong.
The line of cells, another few minutes' walk away from the foot of the stairs, was pleasant enough all things considered. There was rarely a need to take prisoners in these times of peace, so most of them stood empty, a thin layer of dust covering the meager furnishings inside. In fact, the two attempted assassins were the only current prisoners, placed in two side-by-side cells for ease of guarding. A pair of knights stood outside of them, but the prisoners were left more or less to their own devices when they weren't being questioned.
During the war, Eirika had seen good men nearly rot away in dungeons, and she had sworn to herself after she met Knoll that she'd not allow the same fate to fall to any prisoners she might have to take as queen. To that end, the assassins were allowed adequate bedding as well as access to books from the castle library, and their food and drink were fresh enough that there was no risk of them getting ill from it. While the intention hadn't been to win their favor, per se, Eirika hoped that perhaps it had that effect on them.
She took a deep breath as she stepped up to the cells, clasping her hands to quell their slight shaking. Ephraim and L'Arachel stood just behind her, the two of them unintentionally mirroring each other with firm stances and crossed arms. If it wasn't so grim here in the dark underground, she might have laughed.
"Can I speak with you?" she asked the prisoners, a woman she recognized as the one who had disguised herself as a maid, and the large man that Ephraim had seen. The man was asleep, and her words did not wake him, which suited her just fine. Perhaps speaking to them one at a time would be best.
The woman looked up from her book, mouth agape for a second before she responded. "Why are you down here?"
"I didn't think it was right for my knights and my brother to be the only ones asking the questions. If you have grievances with me, you ought to have an opportunity to tell me directly."
She spat on the ground. "Surely that brother of yours has told you everything already,” she said, her tone void of any emotion but malice.
"He told me that you claimed to be part of a small organization that held a grudge against our family, yes. What I want to know is why. And moreover, if it's a concern that we can resolve peacefully."
"Peacefully? After what we did? You may have a reputation as a just ruler, but that's still unbelievable. More likely you'll pretend to be kind until you have enough information, then execute us."
"You can doubt my will all you'd like, but I've never encountered a conflict that ended in bloodshed that wouldn't have been better solved if everyone had chosen peace. That belief is unshakable."
"And if I lie to you in order to get the best possible outcome for myself?"
"That will be up to me to determine. I have yet to make any promises to you."
"You and your brother are really cut from the same cloth, aren't you? Very well, I'll tell you our story -- if only your ancestors were half as noble as you."
"So this conflict is between our ancestors?"
"Something of that nature. Your grandfather, you know, wasn't such a peaceful man. Or... do you know?"
"He died before we were born. Our parents spoke highly of him, of course, but I can’t claim to have the full portrait of a man I’ve never met." Eirika cocked her head. "But go on."
"My own grandparents were at one time of high status, and in good standing with the king. So close, in fact, that my grandmother called him a close friend -- closer than two people who are married but not to each other ought to be, shall we say."
L'Arachel, who had been uncharacteristically silent, listening, now gasped. "An affair?"
"You don't beat around the bush, girly," the assassin said with a smirk. "Didn't want to scandalize Your Majesties too much at once. Sure, they had an affair, and that affair bore fruit."
"That means we're cousins," Eirika said, surprised as L'Arachel, albeit with much less dramatic flair. It wasn’t inconceivable; family scandals among the upper class that were neatly hidden away were hardly unheard of. "Distantly, at least."
"My grandmother bore a child with hair that was an unmistakable shade of blue. And yet your grandfather didn't wish to acknowledge it and instead cut ties with her, even when her own husband refused to care for her or her baby." As she spoke, the woman's voice began to shake slightly, as if this life -- not even her own -- was painful for her to recount.
Her story made a certain amount of sense: Eirika knew little about her grandfather, the king before her own father, so it wouldn't be odd if she didn't know anything about this either. "I've certainly never heard of it, but of course nobody would have any reason to tell me."
"I've never heard about this either," Ephraim added. "And it certainly doesn’t reflect our own values. If it had been me, I'd certainly do what was necessary to support my lover."
L'Arachel, Eirika assumed, exercised an impressive amount of restraint not chastising Ephraim right then and there for speaking of his own infidelity, even in the theoretical sense.
"Well, he must have thought it easier to simply deny his involvement, no matter how much my grandmother begged. Most people would, in that position," she said, giving Ephraim a pointed look. "From there, she became quite poor, and so too were my mother and myself after her."
Eirika's gaze met the floor, for she felt a sense of guilt despite knowing full well she had nothing to do with her grandfather's misdeeds. "I wish things had turned out differently for your family. And yet... Why try to assassinate me? More than likely you would have been caught eventually, and your lot in life would have only gotten worse. If I had died, Ephraim wouldn't let you live even long enough to beg for your life."
Ephraim nodded. "You're lucky to be alive now as it is."
The woman shrugged. "Just wanted revenge, I guess. Surely you don't know anything about the goings-on of the rabble, but once your family is known for their scandal involving the royal family, even other poor people don't want to get involved with you."
"Only me!" called the man from the next cell. He'd been so silent that Eirika had assumed he was still asleep, but evidently he'd been listening well enough.
"And how are you involved?" L'Arachel asked him. "Surely your grandmother did not also have an affair with the former king."
"Nah, it’s all for my own lover, or something like that," he said. "Decided if she wanted to die getting revenge for her grandma, I'd go down with her. You're tougher than I expected, Your Majesty. Sharp elbows."
"What an odd pair," Ephraim muttered.
"What are your names?" Eirika asked.
Ephraim and L'Arachel both looked at her in surprise.
"Does it matter?" asked the woman.
"It does."
"I'm Myriam, and he's Bruno."
"Thank you... Myriam. I'd like to address you as an equal, as you deserve. We are family, aren’t we?"
"'Odd pair' nothing, it's you who's the weird one."
Eirika smiled. She still wasn't fully comfortable around the woman, and likely never would be. But they were able to speak face to face, and there had been a certain passion in the woman's voice that led Eirika to think that she may be telling the truth. "I don't mind if you think so."
...
To Ephraim, the solution was simple. "I take no pleasure in saying this,” he stated as soon as they’d reached the top of the steps, not even taking a moment to breath in the fresh air, “but the punishment for even an attempted assassination is execution. Their story is distressing if it's true, but it changes little."
L'Arachel nodded several more times than was strictly necessary, though she shared Ephraim's frown. "Anyone who dares to hurt my darling Eirika must be put to justice. I will show them that justice myself if need be!"
"Must we?" Eirika asked. "Now that I've spoken with them, they don't seem evil, only misguided, and very sad."
"You can't pardon criminals for being sad," L'Arachel replied, tutting. "If that were the case, anybody could get away with anything."
"I can justify putting a criminal to death if it's in self-defense, but now..." she trailed off, remembering the dozens of people who had fallen to her rapier during the war. In the moments that each had died, she had no regrets, for it would have been her life that was taken if not theirs. She was almost glad when the battlefield was filled with monsters -- fearsome as they were, it meant that it would be beasts that were dying instead of men.
In war, death could be justified, but it was never easy. In peace, it didn’t seem to be either of the two.
“I understand your hesitation, but is there really any alternative?” L’Arachel asked.
Already the gears in Eirika’s head were turning, rusty as they seemed. If she was unable to come up with an appropriate solution, if she turned instead to the barbarism of previous generations, what did that make her?
“Perhaps. It’s nearly time for dinner, isn’t it? I’d like to speak with the others.”
...
Soon enough, the group was gathered, and the others in attendance were updated on the situation over roasted potatoes and fresh chicken. Their dinner together was far less cheerful than the others that past week had been, when there was little else to do but enjoy each other’s presence and leave the questioning to the knights. Now, there was a tension in the air, each of them holding onto their own opinion but not wishing to spark an argument.
Joshua spoke first after they began to eat. "If you ask me, Eirika, there's no way of finding a solution that will make everyone happy. That ship sailed once they decided to try to kill you instead of talking it out." His casual tone seemed mismatched to the situation at hand, yet his words rang true.
"It's not so easy to approach a queen, even one who is open to feedback from her subjects," Eirika responded. "They may not have felt it was an option. That doesn't justify it, but I can see why someone might act that way in a fit of desperation."
"I wish people would approach me in the throne room and start airing their grievances," he said, stabbing a potato with his fork. "Just… not with knives. Being a king the normal way is downright exhausting. It would be so much faster than finding out what's going on by talking to ten different people and having to figure out if anyone has anything of importance to say."
"Is that your justification for spending weeks on end outside of it?" L'Arachel asked.
"Certainly doesn't hurt. Anyway, I ended up here, and so did you. I'd call that good luck, wouldn't you?"
"You're quite right," Eirika said, "I am lucky. To have you here, and to be alive... and to have a chance to make amends. For the misdeeds of my family, although they are not my own."
"You ought to be careful about that," Gerik said. Eirika looked at him with curiosity, surprised that he was joining the conversation. He rarely did when it came to topics of kingdom policy, but it was because such discussions held little meaning for him, not because he was uninformed. "I've met plenty of people just like them -- people who get a rotten break in life and get obsessed with their misguided idea of justice. The good ones, the ones with a solid moral compass, find constructive ways to get things done. Those are the people I've happily hired. But there are also people who get so caught up in their own struggles that they lose sight of how to treat others right. And that... well, it's hard to fix once an idea so evil reaches their heart."
"Do you think they're evil? That's such a strong word."
"I'll let you be the judge. Thing is, sometimes it's hard to tell where someone truly stands -- though you know plenty about that already."
Eirika shuddered to think of what he was obviously referring to. Her faith in Lyon had held true until the bitter end, and though it proved to be in vain, it was not his own fault, not really.
"In the end, it's up to you two," said Joshua with a shrug. "I won't tell you how to run things. No pressure."
Ephraim shook his head. "It's up to Eirika alone. I may be king, but I'm not Eirika’s ruler." He smiled at her then, the warm smile of her loving brother, not the polite, distant one of a king. "Although, if you prefer I take care of the unpleasant details for you, I would be more than happy to."
It didn't make it any easier, knowing that the others were allowing her to have the final say. Even Ephraim, though his will was strong, felt that her opinion was the one that mattered most. All eyes were on her as a heavy silence permeated the room for what felt like an eternity until Ephraim continued, breaking it.
"There's no need for you to make any sort of decision now."
According to convention, the correct path was clear: death, or life imprisonment. It would be an easy enough task, for there was little risk of them ever finding a way to break out. And if their lives had been so difficult that they had stooped to murder, perhaps even a lifetime in the dungeon with a roof over their heads would be satisfactory compared to what they had been through.
As a human being, filled with a sense of compassion for people in trouble, there was no clear correct answer.
She looked to L'Arachel in that moment, and their eyes locked. Her friend nodded just so, a nod that seemed to say I agree with him and I trust you and you are so, so strong. Their conversation that night had an even greater effect than Eirika had realized.
"I think that there is room for compromise," she said carefully, watching the others for their reactions. "We might allow them to go unpunished, and offer them support. If it was indeed our grandfather that hurt Myriam's family so deeply as to make them destitute, we ought to make things right." Ephraim opened his mouth, though whether it was to object or agree she was unsure. Either way she held up a finger, a polite request to allow her to continue. "And keep a close eye on them. If they live peaceful lives thereafter, the problem is solved. If not... then we can reconsider our approach."
"Is that what you want?" Ephraim asked, but his tone seemed to be one of approval. "That sounds just like you."
"I want to believe people can make amends. We must believe that."
"I've never heard of a ruler taking such an approach, but I can't say that I dislike it."
"It seems like a lot of work," Joshua said. "But I guess you have plenty of knights up for the job. Just don't let them gamble with your prisoners... I have a feeling they'd be on the losing side. Don’t ask how I know."
Gerik muffled his laughter.
...
"Do you think I made the right decision?" asked Eirika, her eyes locked on the ceiling. L'Arachel sat on the bed beside her, leaning against the headboard and flipping idly through a novel. She’d been spending most of her nights here, and her presence led Eirika to realize how empty her bed felt on other nights. "You thought I should execute them -- and brought your own tome to do it with."
She heard the soft noises of the book being closed and placed on the side table before L'Arachel answered her. "I must admit I'm concerned. My heart nearly stopped when I read the news of the assassination attempt. And should either of them even consider harming you in the future, I can't be responsible for how I'll react."
“I had no intention of causing such distress,” she replied, both an apology and not. “To be honest, that was the reason I didn’t send you any of the letters I wrote about it.”
“Then I’m twice as grateful to Joshua for his lack of restraint. Don’t tell him I said this, but I am lucky we’re friends.”
Eirika chuckled weakly, finally turning to face her. It wasn't funny, not really, but there was little else she could do. “The lot of us really are more efficient when we work together, aren’t we?”
“Of course we are! And you and I are the best pair of them all! That’s why I’ll be first in line to defend your life should it ever be necessary again.”
"You might have to stay in Renais in that case, to make sure you have enough time to defend me before anybody else does."
"No matter where it was, I would arrive here first! That's the strength of my love for you," L'Arachel said, as if she could become omniscient by sheer force of will. At that, she placed her hand on Eirika's shoulder to offer a gentle squeeze, and Eirika couldn’t help but marvel at the comfort such simple physical contact brought her.
"Your hand is so warm. I wasn’t expecting it," she said, momentarily distracted by the sensation. Eirika herself could barely bring herself to touch anybody other than her brother so casually, but it came naturally to L'Arachel. It might be nice, being like that: hugs as greetings, gentle touches as reassurance, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Or maybe, Eirika realized, she just wanted to touch L’Arachel more often.
L'Arachel began to pull her hand away. "I'm sorry, I shall remove it!"
"No, ah, or rather... stay like that. I like it." She couldn't explain it, but the thought of L’Arachel moving away brought melancholy to her heart.
"That would be odd, if I kept my hand there all night," L'Arachel said. "But here -- use my lap instead."
Eirika gladly complied, shifting from her position of lying next to L'Arachel to place her head in her lap. It was an odd vantage point -- now when she looked upward, she no longer saw the dull ceiling but instead her friend's shining face. From here, it seemed somehow like she was glowing, angelic, although Eirika knew her charmingly devilish side well.
Her eyes fluttered closed easily; the closer she was to L’Arachel, the easier it was to relax, as if she was meant to be here and nowhere else. "This is nice too," she said after a moment. "It may be selfish of me, but I hope you're in no hurry to go home. Everyone has been so kind to me during this situation, but it’s your presence that calms me the most."
“Are you surprised? I am a healer, you know. And your best friend.”
“That’s true, but… it’s more than that. It’s something else.”
“What else?”
“I’m not certain,” Eirika admitted. She wanted to be certain, to put her feelings in these moments into words, but it seemed impossible.
L’Arachel hummed in what appeared to be acceptance of the non-answer, idly running her fingers through her friend’s hair. It was easy to enjoy the improbable fantasy of her staying. Of doing this again and again, night after night, until they were old and grey. Getting bored of it -- and of L’Arachel -- would be impossible.
"I wouldn't mind staying in Renais if it meant being by your side. Forever, if need be,” L’Arachel said, echoing Eirika’s thoughts without even realizing it. Yet she, too, must have said it only as a whimsy. Flighty as she could be, L’Arachel knew more than anyone how sacred her job was as both a political and a religious leader.
At her words, Eirika opened her eyes once again to see that L'Arachel's expression seemed to be quite serious -- but then, did she ever joke around? “And you are always welcome to remain here for as long as you like. But even putting aside the question of your duties, you’ve always been quite fond of Rausten. I think you'd tire of Renais soon enough, our gardens will only stay interesting for so long."
"If I do get tired, I'll just have to spirit you away to Rausten with me, won't I?"
Eirika laughed, an agreement without agreeing. "I'd love to be spirited away if it's by you. We were talking about that, weren't we? Before all of this? For your birthday, at least. And now there’s barely time to plan even that."
"It hasn't been long, yet it feels like an eternity since I sent you that letter. Why, I was nearly vibrating with excitement waiting for your response! Of course, it became quite apparent that you had far more important things to worry about. And even if not I would never blame you for something like not getting a response promptly enough. However... I do treasure your correspondence like nothing else."
Just as L'Arachel's letters stirred a warmth in her heart, so too did her words now. It was a feeling that only L'Arachel seemed to bring her, and she clung to it. Generally, praise mattered little to Eirika, but coming from her it seemed to mean the world.
She was overwhelmed with curiosity to explore just how deep this emotion ran. It was new and at the same time familiar; at once her heart felt both soothed and aroused, like she had everything she could ever need and yet wanted so much more. What that more meant remained unclear, but now the answer seemed so close.
"What kind of feelings?" she asked, imbued with a sudden boldness by the sheer intensity of her curiosity.
Eirika had expected L'Arachel to be at a loss for words, much as she felt she was, but instead L’Arachel spoke just as boldly.
"You make me unfathomably happy, more than anyone else I've ever met. Each time I see you, hear from you, or even think of you, I am reminded anew of the world's beauties. It's as if you are the sunshine, even more so than the true sun. I've spent my whole life preparing to rule Rausten, had never doubted that goal for even a moment, until I met you, and then -- at some point -- I realized that I'd trade Rausten itself for your well-being. There's little logic behind it, but I-"
The words were tumbling out of L’Arachel’s mouth even faster than they usually did, like she’d been waiting for a chance to say them, and now that she had it, it was imperative to take advantage. Then her hand flew to her mouth, serving a prompt and effective stop to her rambling.
"--I think that’s everything!" she finished with a nervous giggle.
That was the first time she’d ever seen a need to censor herself, Eirika marveled, and that made her more curious than ever before.
“Was that really what you were about to say?”
“Of course it was! What else would I have to say? Nothing else! Don’t worry about it!”
“No, really, what else?”
“I need to go to bed now!”
"Ah," said Eirika. "You can sleep here again, you know."
L'Arachel shifted beneath her and Eirika briefly considered trying to stubbornly keep her in place, but she thought better of it. No good would come of pinning L’Arachel in place, as satisfying as it might be. Instead she sat up, allowing L'Arachel to quickly remove herself from the bed.
L’Arachel offered Eirika a curtsy, something that Eirika barely saw her do in formal settings and never with her, then dashed toward the door.
"Goodnight! Sleep tight! Sweet dreams!" she called as she walked away.
Eirika saw a glimpse of her face, beet-red as she left, not even remembering to take her novel with her. She was quick on her feet even now, and managed to exit the room almost before Eirika knew it, and only afterward was Eirika able to consider each of her words, and what she might have been about to say...
The realization came crashing down on her all at once. With words so sweet, the only thing left unsaid could have been I love you. And Eirika -- putting aside all of the reason and good sense she had, leaving only raw emotions to shine through -- had desperately wanted to hear it.
She’d never known much about romance, never really thought much about the possibility of finding it. As she grew up Ephraim had gradually developed a sort of complex that an undeserving man might snatch her away from the family, and she had to reassure him that she had yet to develop any such feelings. There was little appeal to be found in dancing with strangers at parties or meeting gentlemen as potential partners, and her father didn’t care to push her -- and then, soon after she became old enough for it, there were more important things to take care of.
Eirika fingered the ring that only left her finger in sleep. This, too, was similar to the type of gift that a man might give to his beloved; even she realized that, but it was a thought she had only entertained in jest. L’Arachel was an eccentric woman, and of a different nation besides, and so there was little point in over-analyzing her actions. Had she, in fact, meant Eirika to do so all along, to take the gift as a form of courtship?
She fought the urge to chase L’Arachel, though it was strong. It was getting late. She had to sleep, to be well-rested for the next day. Lying awake at night, pondering what to tell L’Arachel tomorrow, would be no good for her.
It was only after going through a dozen different scenarios in her head that she was finally able to drift off to sleep.
Notes:
edited 6/22/20 to fix some formatting issues -- apologies if you read it before that!
Chapter 4
Summary:
"We can't live together, can we?" L'Arachel agreed, though she was already formulating a plan to take Eirika as her co-ruler. "But we can see each other more often than we already do, and write letters. They'll be love letters now."
Erika giggled. "They were always love letters, I think. Especially yours."
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
L'Arachel managed to keep her composure for the precise length of time that it took for her to return to her room and not a moment longer. Of all the ways that conversation could have possibly happened, she had to have gone and said the one thing she had meant to keep private until the time was right. It hadn’t been expressed in so many words, but Eirika was no fool! What L'Arachel had said was close enough that Eirika no doubt understood her intentions.
As she shut the door the urge to scream welled up within her, though she managed to resist it. No need to alarm the castle guards, lest they think that she might be the one getting assassinated this time! They’d seemed concerned enough when she had run from the queen’s room at such a late hour. Instead of screaming, she kicked off her shoes with more force than was strictly necessary, stomped across the room, and flung herself into the plush chair in the corner with great dismay. Of course, none of that could possibly quell the storm in her heart, but the theatrics of it all did make her feel just slightly better.
What might have happened if she'd stayed long enough for Eirika to react? Might she have responded in kind?
--no, she mustn't dwell on that, shouldn't waste the night regretting that she hadn't stayed.
What could she possibly tell Eirika the next morning? It would be impossible to ignore her, and quite frankly she did not want to lose even a moment of precious time with her love. A day of knowing that Eirika was here, with her, and yet forcing herself not to be by her side would be too much to withstand. But the time still seemed wrong for her love to bear fruit -- for even if it did, they would have to part soon enough.
She did scream at that point, though she had the clarity of mind to do so into a pillow -- the absolute last thing she needed was the watchman to rush into her room. It was a shame, really, that it wasn’t like when they were on their journey together and if she yelled, the only person who would come would be Dozla. At least he would understand her feelings, just as he always had since she was small.
Belatedly, she recalled the novel she had brought with her into Eirika's room: a love story about a noblewoman and a vagabond. In the story there had been one scandal after another, and each drove them further into each other's arms and caused their lives to entwine ever more. Their only worries seemed to involve each other, and in that way they slowly became each other's worlds. In her free time she'd been reading with baited breath, hoping -- no, expecting -- that they would soon enough realize that they were soulmates, but real life wasn't so easy.
Hopefully, Eirika wouldn't see the discarded volume and read it. She didn't need to know those fantasies on top of everything else.
With some effort, L'Arachel managed to force herself to leave her chair, her steps feeling heavy for the few yards between it and her bed. Now that she'd spent an uncharacteristic amount of time worrying, she felt as exhausted as she might after a whole day of riding. The bed seemed too big, and she realized it had been days since she'd returned to it. How much more would that feeling be amplified once she returned to Rausten?
Things would all be better in the morning, or at least she'd have a clearer picture of what to do. That was the thought that occupied her head as she crawled under the covers, letting the plush blanket fall around her. Soon enough, sleep claimed her, and she dreamed of colors and flowers, of smiles and kisses.
...
She awoke the next morning to a sun that was higher in the sky than she was accustomed to, as if even her body knew that she needed some extra time to enjoy her dreams today. Those dreams were all she remembered for a moment, before memories of the night before came flooding back and she was reminded anew of her grief.
She got herself out of bed in due time, thanks in no small part to the rumbling in her stomach, and plodded over to the mirror. A smile, though it was forced, looked natural on her face -- like Dozla always said, joy suited her best. And joy was what she'd bring to Eirika as well, today and always.
After wrestling with her hair for the better part of the next half hour -- none of the servants in Renais would have any idea how to do it in the very particular elaborate hairstyle that she preferred -- and giving herself a few pats on the cheeks to wake herself up, there was nothing left to do but face the day.
She took a cautious step in the hallway, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that somehow Eirika might be right there waiting for her. Left, right -- she searched as though she was checking whether a road was clear of passing carriages, though of course there was nothing there but a plush green carpet on the stone floor. Well then, no need to hesitate! she thought, hesitating.
Her heart skipped a beat as a crash rang out behind her and echoed down the hallway, followed by a "blast!" and a series of muttering. The voice was unmistakable.
"Dozla! Perfect timing, as always!"
She hadn't planned to look for him, per se, but Latona had a way of sending her what she needed at just the right moment. Now that he was here it was clear that Dozla would be the one to have the answer to her woes.
He blinked, a statuette in his hand and a table tipped over beside him. "Was it really?"
"Of course it was! You're my most trusted retainer, after all!"
"That I am, Your Highness! And I'm sorry to have startled you."
"No matter at all!" L'Arachel said as she set the table upright. "I'm merely glad I found you so early, before I even broke my fast."
"Ah, that! I was actually looking for you, before I..." he gestured vaguely to the statuette, still in his hand. "Blasted new axe, can barely turn a corner without knocking something over. Anyway! You're late for breakfast, so I was afraid something was the matter. Usually you're such an early riser, and so eager to eat. There's poor knights toast!"
"Thank you ever so much for your concern, but please do not be alarmed. I was simply enjoying my beauty rest!" she said with fake confidence. "I've been through much these past days, but it's nothing to worry yourself about!"
"Your Highness... L'Arachel."
The sudden lack of formality might have bothered her coming from most retainers, but Dozla -- naturally -- was special. In truth he was more of a family member than a servant, the second uncle she'd never had. He addressed her with the typical trappings of a retainer speaking to a lord, but it was only force of habit, and it was the singular way he put on airs about her. Other than that, he always spoke to her without censorship.
"Dozla?" she said. Was her woe so clear? If anyone would be able to see through her facade of cheer, it was him.
"Pardon my intrusiveness, but is something else the matter?"
"Is Eirika at breakfast? Did she say anything about me?"
He grinned, the ear to ear grin she'd long ago come to love. If Dozla, who could be easily trusted with her life, could smile, the world didn't seem so grim. "Ha! No, but I thought it might involve Queen Eirika. Seems like she's the only thing on your mind these days."
"As ever, Dozla, you know me well."
"She didn't mention you, but I take it that you wish she had."
"I see… I do. Might I tell you something? It's important, so promise you won't laugh."
"Of course! Though I laugh alongside you in your times of joy, I could never imagine mocking you."
"Well then... ah, this is difficult. Perhaps I will start from the beginning -- with you, after all, I have no need to beat around the bush. I am in love with Eirika."
Dozla only nodded, the kind of nod a person gave when he wanted to demonstrate that he was interested, but more or less already knew what you were about to tell him.
"Is that all? Haven't you anything more to say?"
"Well, it's obvious, isn't it? Even Rennac can tell, and he's got the same sense of romance as a slug."
The revelation that Dozla and Rennac had apparently been gossiping about her love life didn't escape her, but that was a lecture for another day. In truth, she was more relieved than anything -- Dozla had never rejected her, and if he chose to do so now it would be shocking, heartbreaking.
"I've never been much for hiding my emotions, have I?" L'Arachel said. "I'm starting to think that Eirika is the only one who doesn't know."
"Won't that make it easier when you do confess? We'll all be cheering on your majestic romance!"
"Ah, that's the thing... I told her last night. But at the same time, I didn't. Now I'm at a loss for what to do."
"Pardon me?"
"I told her how I felt in great detail, but I neglected to make it clear that it was romantic in nature. And I left before she could formulate a response. That's a bit cruel of me, isn't it?"
Leave it to Eirika to induce self-reflection in her. They did say that love made you a better person, didn't they?
"The only thing you can do now is talk to her about it," Dozla said with a shrug. It was simple, the way he put it. "In my own youth I spent years chasing a man down, but I never worked up the courage to tell him why. He ended up finding someone else in the meantime! And later he admitted that he had shared my affection and also thought it might be one-sided!"
"Dozla, that's awful! Why tell me such a depressing story now?"
"My point is, there's no use in procrastinating on the next steps. You've always seized the day before!"
Her face fell. "I know you're right, but it feels so much harder than fighting monsters ever way."
"Are you still concerned about what Rennac said? About whether or not she actually wanted you by her side? Stuff and nonsense! He ought to apologize!"
It hadn't bothered her, not really -- she'd known even then that it was false, that Rennac merely wanted to quell her enthusiasm. She'd thought he was a stick in the mud when they'd first met, but over time it began to seem that rather than that he had come to care for her, and hoped to keep her safe.
Dozla encouraged her to act with swiftness, and Rennac forced her to rethink her plans. It was a good balance -- and that was why neither of them would ever leave her side.
But right now, it was Dozla she ought to listen to. It was the only way forward.
"I know... and I know he didn't mean to discourage me, only force me to stop and think about my actions."
"And you chose to stay by her side regardless."
L'Arachel nodded. "I did! And I will continue to stand by that choice. I will be here for Eirika no matter what that entails -- and no matter how that changes when I confess."
"Ha, that's the spirit! In the end, cranky old Rennac did you a favor. And I think he knows it, too! He speaks fondly of you when you're not in earshot, you know."
"Of course he does! Why wouldn't he?"
It was easy to say that, to believe that everyone loved her without question, but she had to admit Dozla's words were powerful. If she was getting support even from those who wouldn't always admit that they cared for her, what did she have to fear?
...
There were others in the dining room, of course, but Eirika was the only one that she could see, straight across from the door. L'Arachel took a deep breath as she entered, then marched toward her -- even her heart, pounding in her ears, was no longer able to discourage her from making her move.
She would walk straight up to Eirika and immediately say her piece, and then...!
"Oh, L'Arachel, good morning. I was worried we'd have to send someone to your room."
"Good morning to you as well -- and yes, I did!" L'Arachel answered by reflex.
"Did you sleep poorly? Last night you seemed--" Eirika paused, then: "tired."
"Something like that. Indeed, perhaps I was up too late reading."
Well, that certainly wasn't what she meant to say. And the whole conversation was proving to be oddly anticlimactic, the way things were going.
"That reminds me, you left your book in my room," Eirika said, immediately disproving L’Arachel’s excuse. "I flipped through it, and the contents surprised me! Might I borrow it sometime?"
She ought to be embarrassed by the knowledge that Eirika was interested in such an utterly scandalous work, but instead L'Arachel was simply relieved by the positive reception. The beating of her heart was slowing, gradually, to a normal pace.
Eirika was no fool. But she was courteous enough to wait for L'Arachel to offer her preferred explanation of the prior night.
"Of course you may borrow it! In fact I will gladly leave it with you when I return to Rausten," L'Arachel said.
Eirika's smile visibly fell, and L'Arachel was struck with the overwhelming feeling that she had said something wrong. "You aren't planning on leaving yet, are you?"
"I can only stay for so long -- that is the unfortunate reality of the situation," L'Arachel admitted. "But... I do have some unfinished business."
She studied Erika's face carefully, gauging her reaction. It seemed that she might be contemplating something for a moment.
"If you mean your birthday... I'm well aware it's tomorrow. You'll stay that long, won't you?"
"Of course I will!" said L'Arachel, who had somehow nearly forgotten about her own birthday for the first time in her life. It was tomorrow, wasn't it? And she had no plans, so focused as she had been on Eirika!
"Thank goodness! I... well, we meant to keep it a secret, but since there's no time for you to get home for a grand celebration, we were planning to have one here."
"Why Eirika, you are far too kind! Here I was not even thinking about what we might do for my birthday, and you took care of everything. How unfathomably generous is your soul!"
Eirika tucked her hair behind her ear with a delicateness, almost a shyness. "It's really nothing. I owe a lot to you."
"Hey, I helped too," came the sound of Ephraim's voice, unexpectedly -- but then again, where Eirika was, Ephraim often wasn't far. "Don't I get any credit?"
"Of course you do, brother," said Eirika with a smile even as L'Arachel cursed him in silence for breaking the mood. How dare he ruin her chance!
A feeling that was almost envy welled up within her as he gave Eirika's shoulder a friendly squeeze. If she was becoming jealous even of Eirika's brother...!
Well, no need to get worked up about it. Love was meant to be passionate, after all -- and even if she couldn't confess her feelings now, what would be a better chance than at the upcoming party?
...
At the late breaking of her fast (she had remembered to actually eat as well, eventually) L'Arachel knew she'd have ample time to spend the rest of the day figuring out precisely what to say to Eirika on the day of her own birthday party. All of the pieces were in place: Eirika had yet to decline a single one of her advances, and it was clear that she was just as eager to enjoy the party as L'Arachel herself was. And L'Arachel had plenty of practice being open with her feelings around Eirika -- this time, she simply had to do the same, only making her intentions unmistakably clear!
And then at just the right moment, Eirika would sweep her up into an embrace in her strong arms, and they would steal away from the party, and... ah, it might be a sin to imagine what would happen next!
(She did imagine it, of course.)
Hours of brainstorming later, the plan was... nothing. She had no more ideas than she did that morning. Certainly, it would have to take place at the most grandiose point of the celebration, but other than that, what?
Fortunately, there was someone nearby that had the perfect combination of a knowledge of L'Arachel's personal woes, and the personal practical life experience to help her -- and he had been kind enough to offer his aid not too long ago.
"Where have you been, I need to talk to you!" she called down the hallway at the first sight of his vivid red hair. "Don't walk faster, it's urgent!"
Once Joshua slowed his pace, it was easy enough for her to catch up to him. Blast those long legs!
"You think that everything is urgent, your divinity," he replied, adjusting that ridiculous hat of his. "But it's not like I have anything else to do, so go on."
"Joshua! I intend to confess!"
He cocked his head. "Not to me, please."
"Don't be ridiculous! To Eirika, tomorrow, during the party!"
"Oh, she told you about that, did she? We all thought she might, even though it was meant to be a surprise."
"And I'm glad she did! Now, I will have the ideal chance to express the extent of my feelings, at the party's climax!" she paused, taking a moment to reconsider her assumptions. "Ah, but you did plan a climax of some sort, right? You'll bring out a cake and sing or something to that effect? I admit I've never attended a birthday celebration in Renais."
"Well sure, I think the twins mentioned that, although they were more concerned about getting the best flavor for the cake than any of those details. You do like cassata cake, right?"
"But of course, it is my-- no! That's not important! Do not distract me, fiend," she looked him straight in the eyes -- what a betrayal to change the topic so freely! Even if he was asking her a reasonable question. "During such a climax, that will be the time when I reveal my feelings!"
"You, er, know there will be any number of guests, don't you? Ephraim came up with the idea a while ago -- said it would cheer up you and Eirika both -- so he's actually invited people. Strangers, many of them, but people who matter. I know you aren't one to care too much about what others think about you, but still.”
"What does the number of people have to do with anything?" And since when had he cared about what people thought, for that matter?
"What I mean is that most people wouldn't want to be confessed to in front of everybody who's anybody in Renais. Even if you would."
"Spoilsport," she muttered, though she had to admit he was probably right. Eirika had never been much for initiating grandiose gestures... though she certainly deserved to receive one of her own. "I was going to ask you for some assistance, but now you've made me rethink my plans."
He shrugged. "I told you I'd give you advice, not blindly agree with you. You know me better than that."
"I do," she said. And she would not pout along with it, much as the urge welled up within her. In truth she had expected Joshua to offer his honest assessment -- he would be less blindly supportive than Dozla, yet far kinder than Rennac. He also had more experience in the matter than both of them put together, as best as she could tell. "But what would you recommend as an alternative?"
"Just tell her in private. It can still be at the party, but somewhere she can react to it on her own terms."
Ugh, it sounded so obvious when he said it like that! “I will… consider your advice.”
It wasn’t much more than she had already come up with, but it was something. Surely with the time she had left she could formulate the rest of it.
...
She hadn't been this nervous before a celebration since she was a little girl, still clinging to her uncle's robes as he whisked her around the room, introducing her to dignitaries that she hadn't yet been able to memorize the names and faces of. Not even on the day she succeeded him as ruler were her palms so sweaty, her limbs so much like jelly. This was the fear she used to feel before battles, before she'd become such an accomplished warrior and learned to tuck those feelings away.
Ah, but wasn't love its own kind of battle?
That was the thought she comforted herself with as she dabbed rouge on her lips, a berry red to complement the dress that Eirika had presented her with earlier that day. Yes, love was a battle, and these would be her weapons: her beauty, her grace, and the passion that filled her heart and soul and made her fingers tremble.
The dress was a fine silk, its pattern an intricate symphony of reds and creams and golds. It was a gown worthy of the night -- for all its splendor, yes, but most of all because it had been from her love. Eirika had shyly admitted that she wasn't much for picking out dresses, and L'Arachel had laughed along with her, slyly noting that it wasn't dissimilar to the color palette that Eirika tended to prefer. Would Eirika match with her tonight?
In the dress' pocket she had put a piece of parchment, covered back and front with the words she had finalized only an hour before: a love confession, each phrase carefully chosen, each sentence meant to more perfectly convey her passion than the last. It was short -- shorter than most of her letters, at least -- but it needed to be no longer. The grandiose occasion and the passion behind her words were more important than the length of her speech.
"I suppose I'm about as ready as I'll ever be," she finally said, yet again smoothing down stray strands of hair. She knew Eirika wouldn't notice, but it still seemed like any flaw in her appearance would be too much for her to bear.
Rennac sat beside her on a second chair he'd brought over to the vanity, the one that Eirika had so graciously made sure was placed there after the first time L'Arachel had visited and stayed in this room. "You look fine," he replied, still holding onto a tub of lotion and a box of hairpins, trinkets that she had handed him to hang onto -- "just for a moment, so I don't lose track of them" -- and then allowed him to put down.
"I must look better than fine, I must look gorgeous!"
He most certainly did not sigh at that, though it sounded somewhat like a sigh. "Fine, fine, you look gorgeous. But we both know you already know that."
"Today is a special day, Rennac. More special than you can imagine."
"I'm not going to ask what you mean by that, but good luck," he said, and offered her a pat on the back. "Go get 'em, tiger."
She pouted slightly, but despite her better judgement -- that was rude, wasn't it? -- his words made her feel a bit better.
...
As she entered the ballroom, Eirika -- clad in navy and greens -- waved from clear across the room, though at such a difference it was difficult to see much more than the color of her dress. They would contrast tonight, then! That suited L'Arachel equally well: Eirika was the calm sky to her sunshower, the swaying willow to her buzzing bee. She was the gentleness that came from a blade wielded by a merciful master just as L'Arachel was the wrathful side of the divine. The perfect pair, harmonious in their differences.
L'Archel had fallen in love with Eirika's silent strength; her hope was that Eirika had fallen for her wholehearted passion.
Oh, that was poetic. She'd have to remember that for her next letter, once they'd parted ways again.
The decor -- she noticed second, after she'd gotten her fill of admiring her love from afar -- was elaborate, all colors and sparkles and whimsy. It was not to Eirika or Ephraim's typical taste, based on what she'd seen in the rest of the castle, but it suited L'Arachel well, and their thoughtfulness was well noted.
"Everything looks beautiful!" she shouted -- walking toward her, but still halfway across the room.
"Oh!" Eirika turned, finally noticing L'Arachel. "Thank you! You look beautiful, too!"
She'd be adding those words to the memory box within her heart, already filled to bursting with every word of praise Eirika had offered her.
"It's thanks to the dress, of course! You have a unique eye for fashion!"
By now they were near enough to be within speaking distance, thanks to L'Arachel's skills in walking quickly even in heeled shoes. Eirika's hair, she saw now, was swept up in a simple updo and decorated with a comb that was inlaid with pearls
"You look like the sea," L'Arachel continued, then had to resist the urge to slap herself for making such a silly observation.
But Eirika blushed. "Do you think so? I'm not sure if I want my taste in clothing to be called 'unique', but..." She shook her head. "Never mind. I know you meant it as a compliment."
"I'd never dream of insulting you, darling Eirika."
Entranced as she was by her beloved's face, L'Arachel barely noticed that the guests had already begun to enter. Though the prospect was tempting, she couldn't possibly bring herself to neglect her duties as a noblewoman. She offered Eirika an apologetic smile as she turned to greet a woman behind her, one that L'Arachel was fairly certain she had met at a roundtable meeting in the last year or two.
Eirika, well used to the finer points in socialization at these sorts of events, merely nodded, and soon the both of them were swept up into their various separate conversations. Parties such as this were as much an excuse to mingle as much as they were to celebrate, but though L'Arachel did soenjoy mingling, today the furthest thing from her mind was how the weather was and oh yes, happy birthday! and what she thought of the king of Jehanna's little pet bodyguard and so on and so forth. (He is right there and doesn't bite, she wanted to tell that particular gentleman.)
The dancing started soon enough, and it seemed like each and every person at the party was vying for L'Arachel as their partner. Again, she remembered the parties as a little girl, before she had learned to dance half as well as she could now. Then, too, dozens of nobles had asked to borrow her hand for a dance. In retrospect, they were only being kind to a child, and hoping to win her favor when she was still young, but in those times it felt like she was the center of attention simply because she was adored. And then she'd be too spooked to dance with strangers, and chose Dozla as her partner instead, spending half the dance standing on his feet just for the fun of it.
In comparison, this was... less than preferable. She knew the steps so much better than she had before, thanks to trading her time spent on noble quests for time spent in leisure, but nobody in the room was more important than Eirika tonight. Having to make nice with her peers only seemed like an obstacle, even though the music was lush, and the company pleasant enough.
Most irritatingly, she was now an adult: an unwed woman of twenty-three who already occupied one of the continent’s highest positions. This wasn't the first time that she'd had a bevy of bachelors approaching her, but now that she was approaching an age that many women preferred to be married by -- and because it was her birthday, a convenient excuse to extend offers of private dinners and trips to the opera under the guise of gifts -- they seemed almost ceaseless in their approaches.
By the fifth man she had to politely turn down the advances of halfway through a waltz, L'Arachel had had enough. This may have been to be expected, but that didn't mean it was welcome and it certainly didn't mean she would enjoy it. She so detested being forced to tolerate unwanted things -- be they boring meetings or boring people -- and a woman of her status and accomplishment deserved only the best when it came to marriage.
The best, of course, was Eirika. It was too hasty to think of marriage now, before they even became lovers, but that didn't mean the idea wasn't alluring. So what if it might create a minor scandal, their union leaving the question of heirs open? Renais always had Ephraim -- he was handsome enough to seduce a lady eventually, if he so chose -- and L'Arachel certainly had enough cousins.
If L'Arachel was to be involved in a scandal, she certainly hoped it would be this one. She had half a mind to tell every young man in the room then and there that the only one in her heart was a woman. Let them talk!
By-the-by, she was able to allow herself to take a break, politely dismissing the duke of somewhere-or-another (she had a fine memory for these things -- usually). Spotting that distinctive blue hair was easy enough, and she made her way to Eirika with haste.
"Oh, it's been a few hours," said Eirika with a smile as she noticed L'Arachel. "I do hope everything is to your taste."
"It's wonderful, of course! The music, the decorations... even the number of people you managed to invite in such a short time! I'd expect nothing less from you."
Eirika tucked a lock of hair -- no doubt loosened by her own dancing -- behind her ear, the gentle gesture of the lovely lady that she was the very picture of. "It's nothing for me to brag about. As I said, Ephraim did most of the work."
"He may have, but I know for a fact all of the best bits were your doing!"
"Ah," Eirika replied, no doubt made momentarily speechless by L'Arachel's praise. "If you say so. I'm just sorry that the surprise fell through. You made me so very happy coming here with no notice, and so I hoped to return the favor."
"I do love surprises, but I enjoyed the anticipation just as much." And it meant she had adequate time to plan her secret confession, though Eirika would find that out soon enough. "Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Say... may I steal you away for a few moments?"
"Would you like to speak in private? Of course." Eirika slipped her hand into L'Arachel's, her grip firm yet gentle in a manner that made L'Arachel's heart skip a beat. "We have balconies all across the east side of the ballroom, but the furthest one is tucked away. Most people wouldn't realize it was there."
L'Arachel wasn't one to be led, but now she happily allowed herself to be pulled away, taken to a location that was more private than she had expected to find in the midst of a celebration. A part of her still wished to follow the initial plan of a grandiose announcement, or at least chose a place that some people could see -- they deserved to be clapped for! -- but Joshua had been irritatingly right in saying that Eirika was a more private person than she. They would have to save being publicly lauded for the wedding.
Even the evenings were hot this time of year, but the breeze that blew outside made the balcony more pleasant. L'Arachel only realized once the cool air hit her face that indoors had been stifling with so many people, no doubt contributing to her impatience. It created a beautiful picture: the sun, nearly under the horizon, streaking the sky with purples and pinks. And Eirika, her dress and a few loose strands of hair blowing in the breeze, as beautiful as she ever was.
She was the very picture of a queen, now more than ever.
The paper was still in L'Arachel's pocket and she clutched it, praying that her words would not fail her now.
"Eirika..." she began, not part of the planned speech but a necessary prelude. "Do you recall our conversation the night before last?"
"What conversation?" she asked with a grin that seemed almost mischievous.
Had she forgotten? L’Arachel’s face must have visibly fallen.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm only joking. Of course I remember that you left rather abruptly. Did you mean to continue tonight?"
"Yes, I have more to say. I'd hate to lie to you, even if it was only lying by admission." She took a deep breath; now was the time for the words she had planned. Her notes were intended as a cue sheet at most, but now her mind was blank; all she could focus on was Eirika, every detail of her. No matter how it went, she never wanted to forget this moment.
But she needed to continue, and so she fumbled with the paper, hand trembling so much that she could barely pull it out of its place in the narrow pocket. "Eirika, I.. that is... your smile..."
She'd said so many words of love to Eirika, on paper and in person both. Why now, when the words were more important than ever, did they fail her?
Her nervousness only reached a crescendo as Eirika walked toward her, clasping both of her hands as soon as she was able. She was so close, almost too close, and now the note...
"L'Arachel?" she said. "I love you."
The paper, sweaty and crumpled, fell to the ground. Had she heard Eirika correctly?
But of course she hadn't. There was no mistaking it.
L'Arachel squeezed her hands, heart overflowing with joy. Her inadequacy in these things mattered not; her message of love had come across to Eirika. "I had a speech prepared, but I forgot it all. Every word."
"Oh? That isn't like you."
"Eirika, I love you too!" she shouted, flinging her arms around Eirika. They stumbled slightly, with Eirika not expecting the sudden embrace, but together they managed to stay upright. L'Arachel was glad she'd not had a chance to indulge in any liquor this time.
As close as they were, it was easy to tell Eirika's heart was pounding just as fast as her own, and it was hard to comprehend ever being happier than they were in this moment. Still, there was another component she had imagined in this confession, and now L'Arachel hoped to indulge.
She pulled away from Eirika just enough that their faces were ever so close and brought her lips to meet Eirika's. It was exactly the kiss she had hoped for in this moment: soft and chaste, but Eirika's lips were plush and warm and welcoming. In novels, these moments always made her imagine the real thing, and worry about how disappointed she might be when it happened if anything went wrong. But it was Eirika, perfect in all things as ever.
Eirika kissed her back with the slightest pressure, and they pulled apart after a moment, both flushed and grinning.
"I've wanted to say that for a while," L'Arachel said, breathless.
"I thought as much, but I only realized recently. It took me too long to notice... and that goes for my feelings, too."
L'Arachel shook her head. "It's never too long. We can be together now."
"Not always, not yet. But knowing your feelings is enough for me."
"We can't live together, can we?" L'Arachel agreed, though she was already formulating a plan to take Eirika as her co-ruler. "But we can see each other more often than we already do, and write letters. They'll be love letters now."
Erika giggled. "They were always love letters, I think. Especially yours."
"Can you wait for me? Wait for... us? For a time we can live together, and travel between our two nations?"
"Always. One sweet word from you is enough to bring me joy for weeks. And one day... I can get you a ring too."
"I'll be looking forward to it," L'Arachel responded. So Eirika was thinking about that day, too!
Eirika's smile was like a thousand suns, and L'Arachel was fully prepared to return to the party, satisfied and carrying that memory in her head for all of eternity or at least until their next time together, but instead Eirika leaned in again, kissing her harder and deeper.
Things were not going as planned, but she had no complaints and she lost track of Eirika's kisses.
...
Woozy as she felt after the experience, L'Arachel was able to hold a proper conversation when they finally parted and mutually agreed they ought to return to the party. There would be cake soon, and people would certainly notice if they were gone at that point.
She and Eirika were chatting about everything and nothing when Ephraim approached them. "Where were you?" he asked, though his tone was playful. "I half thought you'd gotten bored of the party and disappeared entirely. It isn't that dull, is it?"
"Ephraim! Be aware, for one day I will steal your sister away!" L'Arachel said, and Eirika's blush deepened again.
"Sorry, what?"
"L'Arachel!" Erika half-yelled, voice too sweet to be scolding. "What are you telling him so quickly?"
"Are you two eloping or something?" he said with a smirk.
"Of course not!" L'Arachel replied. "When we are to be wed, it will be an affair five -- no, ten -- times greater than this!"
"Of course it will," Ephraim said with a nod, a pause, then: "Wait, can you repeat that?"
Eirika sighed. "I was planning to tell you in private, brother, but L'Arachel and I have just expressed our love for each other."
"Not that I'm not happy for you," he said, choosing his words with care, "but how long has this been going on? Eirika, I thought you would tell me when you found someone to court."
"It's a long story," said Eirika.
"Well, I suppose congratulations are in order."
"To be honest, I thought you'd have more to say."
"I... was fully prepared to challenge whichever man tried to pursue you to a duel for your honor." Ephraim's brow scrunched. "But I'm not sure I can do that to L'Arachel."
L'Arachel wagged her finger at him, face smug. "You can't possibly declare the Divine Emperor of Rausten to be your enemy!"
"I meant more that I don't want you, specifically, as an enemy."
"An odd compliment, but I shall accept it!"
Eirika and Ephraim locked eyes, a smile on her face and a frown on his, yet somehow they seemed to have reached an understanding as well. So went the bond between twins, L'Arachel supposed.
...
Inamorata,This morning, I returned to Rausten; now (after brunch!), I write to you in earnest. It has been mere days since I bid you farewell, but every minute feels like an hour, every hour like a day. I long for your smile, your voice -- and, most of all, your kisses, soft and sweet from your supple lips.
Goodness, that is embarrassing to write. But I shan't start anew, I shan't! I asked Rennac how to write a love letter -- he has an eye and an ear for the arts, you know, even though he's a manservant and a thief -- and he said "aren't you always doing that?" Preposterous! It's so different now!
It is so different and yet at the same time it feels like nothing has changed. We are still apart. I still wish we were not. And I still love you deeply.
And so it went, for five pages. But Eirika had to set the letter down at that point, in appreciation of the intimacy of her words. She'd have to carry it off to finish in private, without Ephraim by her side, an amused expression on his face.
"She's persistent," he said. "You've always gotten on well with people like that, though."
"I can get along with anybody if they give me the opportunity, but L'Arachel is special," Eirika agreed.
“That’s putting it mildly. Speaking of which, have you heard the latest from Seth about what our friends have been up to lately?” His speech was edged with a certain sarcasm: indicating that he was referring to their former prisoners, whom they were in the process of arranging a home for in a nearby village so that they might do as they pleased, under the supervision of guards. Some of the townspeople had questioned it, but Eirika herself had persuaded a village elder that it would be for the best, and managed to reach a compromise.
“Well, they haven’t caused any trouble yet, but they haven’t had any chances to. For now it’s in our best interest to trust them.”
“It still makes me nervous, to be frank.”
“That’s all right. You’re not my ruler, you said so yourself.”
“You sound like a real queen when you talk like that. Seems like you’ve once again gone through hell and come out stronger. Not that I’d expect anything different, but you’re going to put me out of a job.”
Eirika shook her head, patently denying his words although it was obvious enough that he was joking. “That’s the last thing I want. Especially when… well, you know.”
“Especially when your lady love is planning to snatch you away from your bore of a brother at the earliest possible opportunity?”
“She doesn't call you a bore.”
“Ah, but would she disagree?”
Finally, it seemed like the path ahead was clear. Today and every day, she would do her best to make sure that nobody ever found another reason to doubt her rule and Ephraim's; and one day, she would be reunited with her love again. This time, forever.
Notes:
If you got this far, thank you for reading! This is one of those ships where I've longed to come up with a post-canon happily-ever-after story about for years and I'm so satisfied that I finally did. It's also the longest thing I've written in my life, and it probably shows.
Questions, comments, and criticism are all welcome!

AuraPaladinne on Chapter 4 Thu 02 Jul 2020 02:10PM UTC
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