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Beelzebub can’t sleep. Ever since Belphegor has gotten back, he can’t sleep unless the other is calm and he is sure that everything is okay.
There are two problems with that tonight. One is that although he and Belphegor had gotten much closer since he has returned - especially so because Beelzebub would rather give up food than to lose Belphegor again, they’re still sleeping separately. It drives Beelzebub crazy because all he wants is to be close. It also makes it extra difficult to tell whether or not everything is okay - Belphegor has always been good at pretending.
The other problem is the fact that Belphegor is most definitely not calm, not even close, judging by the way he stirs on the bed.
Beelzebub doesn’t want to disturb, but the worried eat away at him as fast as flies on a corpse - as ironic as that might be. Him, the lord of flies, reduced to a worried mess. If it’s what it takes to have Belphegor close, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
He relents.
“Belphie?” He calls.
It’s a while before Belphegor answers. “Yes?”
“Are you okay? Why aren’t you sleeping?” Beelzebub doesn’t sit up on the bed just yet, not wanting to startle his brother.
“I can’t. Every time I try to I just feel more awake.” Belphegor admits. “This never happens, I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“Come here.” Beelzebub beckons him over, waving a hand on the air.
Belphegor doesn’t waste half as much time as Beelzebub expected him to. With a swift movement, Belphegor kicks his feet to the side, sliding out of the bed with his favorite pillow under his arms. “Okay, but I’m not gonna suck you off. I’m too tired.”
Beelzebub chuckles, pulling the covers aside so Belphegor can slip on top of him. “I wasn’t asking you to.”
Belphegor buries his face on Beelzebub’s chest. “I know you. You’re hungry for other things, too.”
Beelzebub chuckles again, brushing Belphegor’s fringe away from his eyes. “Only for you, though.”
Belphegor smiles, eyes already drooping. “That’s good.”
“Yeah, it is.” Beelzebub agrees, also sleepy. He yawns, pulling Belphegor closer.
“Hm… you’re warm.” Belphegor says as he buries his head on the crook of Beelzebub’s neck.
A smile. “You are too, you know.”
Belphegor stares at him through his eyelashes. “Yeah, but you’re more. You’re my personal pillow.”
“I won’t complain about that.” His hand cards through Belphegor's hair, dragging soft sighs out of him.
It’s silent, then. So much so that Beelzebub assumes Belphegor fell asleep. He’s surprised to find him staring, eyes sparkling even in the dark.
“I love your eyes.” He says, hand now softly massaging the back of Belphegor’s neck.
There’s a loud chuckle. “We have the same eyes. It’s like… the one thing we have in common.”
Beelzebub chuckles too, feeling his cheeks heat up. “Maybe, but they look better on you. I could never do them so much justice.”
“That’s not true. You’re beautiful.” Belphegor says through a yawn. He might be refusing to go to sleep, Beelzebub realizes. He wonders why.
“You’re more,” he boops Belphegor’s nose with his free hand, “not only on beauty.”
“What do you mean?” Belphegor perks up. He moves until he’s fully on top of Beelzebub, their noses mere centimeters apart.
Beelzebub knows he’s being analyzed, but he can’t bring himself to care. “You’re just… more. You’re smarter, you’re prettier, you’re better, you deserve more. It’s selfish, but I’m glad I have this, I don’t know what I’d do if I had to share you.”
Belphegor tsks. “None of those things are true.” His fringe is back over his face, covering the eyes Beelzebub likes to get consumed by.
He brushes the fringe away once more. “You may think they’re not, but I’m older and wiser. I know they are.”
Belphegor pushes at his arm. “You’re not older, we were born at the same time. And I know they’re not true, because they don’t apply to me, they’re supposed to be said about you.”
Beelzebub doesn’t answer right away. Belphegor doesn’t force him to.
“I can’t be any of those things. I’ve failed one too many times.”
Belphegor is the one caressing him now, warm fingers tracing at his jawline. “That’s not true. You didn’t fail, you made a choice. I don’t think it was the right one, but that doesn’t mean you failed.”
“It was the right one,” Beelzebub says to the night. “I not once have regretted it.”
There’s a hitch of breath. A barely-there whisper. The night is getting darker, Beelzebub can barely distinguish Belphegor’s features now.
“Is… is that true?”
“Yes.” He says too quickly. The words spill out of him without much thought. This was a conversation they’ve never had. “It’s impossible to think about the… other outcome. I could not live without you.”
It’s silent again. This time Beelzebub feels himself drifting off to sleep, the shy of hunger starting to eat at his empty stomach.
“I lied, before.” Comes Belphegor’s voice.
“What?” Beelzebub blinks awake.
“I lied when I said none of those things were true. The last one is, you do have me. I’m yours. Only yours.” He confesses slowly, words hanging heavy in between them, meaning more than either was willing to say at the moment.
“Even if our sins disappoint the greater heavens?” Beelzebub teases, his hands finding comfort on the small of Belphegor’s back.
They’re even closer now, so much so that Beelzebub feels Belphegor’s breath panning over his lips.
“Fuck the greater heavens.” Belphegor says when they meet.
The kiss is lazy and dragged out. Belphegor likes to take his time, taste every single part of Beelzebub he can, exploring with his tongue in the process. Beelzebub lets him, trying to calm the ever-growing hunger at the pit of his stomach - a different hunger, this time.
Belphegor pulls back in favor of breathing. He touches his forehead to Beelzebub’s.
“For all it’s worth, I love you. In more than one way.”
Beelzebub steals a peck from his slicked lips. “I love you too, Belphie.”
He tilts his neck when Belphegor starts to kiss down his throat, a pleased sigh escaping his lips.
“I’m still not gonna suck you off.” Belphegor says, biting lightly at his exposed collarbone.
Beelzebub laughs.