Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Very near the beginning, the Sun left the spirit world and took on a mortal form. A white dragon. Eventually, there came a time when humans found themselves with the ability to bend the elements, and the first firebender the Sun chanced upon was a woman called Phoenix. She shared with the woman the ways of bending fire, and the woman developed a close bond with the Sun. They remained as companions for the rest of the woman's life, and when Phoenix died, the Sun was stricken with grief and shared a part of itself with her. The fire of the Sun erupted out of the body of Phoenix, and from the ashes formed a human babe. The Sun raised the child as the next Phoenix, who now that she shared part of the spirit of the Sun could bend the same life fire. Overcome with joy in her new companion, the Sun laid an egg, one that hatched a new dragon from which all others would be born. The Sun and Phoenix lived together in peace for many lifetimes. When the time came for the Sun's mortal form to pass on, it returned to the spirit world, and Phoenix remained the link between the Sun and our world in all her lifetimes to follow. As the Sun bid farewell to the physical plane, the first star appeared in the night sky.

* * *

Ajeno warned me that we would have visitors, he had seen them enter the city during his watch. Two of them, a young man and a teenager.

Elder Kache suggested we gather up arms, I agreed that we should be prepared and dismissed myself for council with the Masters, Ajeno warned me that they had gotten passed the sunstone and that I should be swift, I told my people to gather near the temple and went to don the ceremonial robes.

The Masters whispered to me, the Avatar was coming, his companion was the estranged prince of the fire nation. The Masters placed a wreath of multicolored flame around my wrists, it was a blessing for my decision to come, they knew what was in my heart, and I knew what they had in store for me.

As I approached the temple, I saw my people in a circle surrounding the two intruders who were being licked clean of the trap goo by honeyeaters. Before being noticed I put out the blessing flames around my wrists.

My tribe bowed as soon as they noticed me, the Avatar and his companion followed suit.

The Avatar was a young boy, he had clear air bending tattoos, and his companion was a young man, roughly my own age actually, and across the left side of his face was a deep red scar. It was a burn.

"Avatar," They looked at me cautiously, "We are the sun warriors. I am the High Priestess, my name is Phoenix, why have you come to this place?"

"My name is Aang, this is Zuko, we've come to learn more about the source of firebending."

I swept a bolt of fire into the basin on the side of the building where the eternal flame lay.

"This is the eternal flame, it was the original fire given to humans by the dragons, we have kept it alive ever since," I took a flame from the fire, parting it in two and giving them each one.

"Take this flame up the mountain, there you will meet the firebending masters."

And like that, they were gone, up the mountain.

I sat in front of the altar, watching the colorful flames in the basin.

"High Priestess, what should we do now?"

"Go home, rest, I can take it from here."

"Are you sure?" Elder Cienega asked me, distrust on his tongue.

"Yes I'm sure, the Masters have given me instructions, your work is done here."

That seemed to be sufficient to dispel the crowd, only Itzel, my handmaiden, remained.

"Priestess, are you ok? You seem to have something on your mind," Itzel asked.

"I'm fine, just, you know, pondering the dragons and the Avatar."

"Right," she said, and I could tell she wasn't entirely convinced.

"Listen Itzel," I glanced around to make sure we were alone. I knew I could trust Itzel but not everyone always agreed with my rule, "There is something I need to do, and while I'm gone, I need you to keep a handle on the Elders, ok? It's very important,"

She nodded. I turned to leave but she grabbed my arm, "Be careful Phoenix," she said.

I smiled and gave her a quick hug, "You know I will."

I stole myself away to gather up a few of my things, and wore my traveling clothes under my ceremonial robes. I knew what I had to do. I took a piece of parchment and wrote a note, one Itzel and the Elders will find later explaining what the dragons tasked me with.

I packed a small bag with a bedroll and few essentials before going up the mountain, the back way. I arrived to the lair of the Masters first and hid away my pack.

Eventually, I saw them, exhausted from the hike they bowed before me, "Avatar," I greeted.

"High Priestess," they chorused.

"Facing the judgment of the firebending masters will be very dangerous for you," I looked to Zuko, "Your ancestors are directly responsible for the dragons' disappearance," Zuko looked away.

"But, once they find out I'm the Avatar-" Aang started.

I cut him off, "Have you forgotten that you vanished, allowing the Fire Nation to wreak havoc on the world? The decline of the dragons is your burden, too, Avatar," He also looked away.

I stretched my hands out, lighting the fire basins around the platform. I gestured for them to walk up the stairs.

"Those who wish to meet the masters, Ran and Shaw, will now present their fire," I watched as they each stood facing one of the caves.

I pulled the ceremonial horn from the folds of my robes and blew it, sounding the call.

I watched as the Avatar's fire went out, and they began bickering on the bridge, at this rate the Masters will eat them alive.

A few moments later, the dragons came rushing out of their caves, circle around the two boys on the bridge, and luckily for me, they caught on, and began the dragon dance alongside the Masters.

The Masters ended the dance and stood watching them, I bowed respectfully, judgment time.

Then the Masters unleashed the life fire, swirling it in a vortex that pushed through the sky, surrounding the two boys.

Once the dragons had returned to their caves, they came back down the steps, and I heard the Avatar say something along the lines of firebending harmony.

"Yes. They judged you, and gave you visions of the meaning of firebending."

"I can't believe there are still living dragons." Zuko said, "My uncle Iroh said he faced the last dragon and killed it."

Aang turned to him, "So you're Uncle lied."

I smiled, "Actually, it wasn't a total lie. My mother was High Priestess before me, she told me the story of Iroh. He was the last outsider to face the masters. They deemed him worthy and passed the secret onto him as well."

"He must have lied to protect them, so no one else would hunt them," Zuko realized.

Aang turned to me, "All this time, I thought firebending was destruction. Since I hurt Katara, I've been too afraid and hesitant. But now I know what it really is ... it's energy, and life," He smiled.

"Yeah. It's like the Sun," Zuko curled his hand into a fist, "but inside of you. Do you realize this?"

"Well, my civilization is called the Sun Warriors, so yeah," I chuckled.

"That's why my firebending was so weak before. Because for so many years, hunting you" Zuko turned to Aang, "was my drive ... it was my purpose. So when I joined you, I lost sight of my inner fire. But now, I have a new drive. I have to help you defeat my father and restore balance to the world."

"Just as the Masters revealed something to you, they revealed something to me, many years ago."

Aang and Zuko turned to face me.

"My mother had the ability, and my grandmother before her, and now it's been passed on to me," I held my hand out, flickering a multicolored flame across my palm, "The Masters showed you this, it's called life fire, it has the ability to burn impurities, restore life, you might say heal."

They looked at me, both mouth agape, "See, I never really understood why the dragons taught it to my ancestors, or to me, but now I know," I took a step forward, "I'm meant to help you restore peace to the world, my people have been hiding for thousands of years, but the world needs to know that fire isn't destruction, you said it yourself. So Avatar Aang, If you'll have me, I'd like to join your cause."

Chapter Text

"So Aang has two fire bending masters now?" The one I now knew was Toph asked.

"No, I don't really have much fighting ability, despite being called the Sun Warriors my people haven't had to fight in hundreds of years, think of me as more of a spirit guide to extended fire bending techniques," I said, trying not to sound so timid. I've never met new people before today.

"The Sun Warriors are incredible at traps though," Zuko said, giving me a smile which I returned.

"Well I'm glad to have another girl around," Katara said with a smile.

"Come on Zuko lets give them a demonstration," Aang said with excitement.

"This oughta be good," I heard Toph say under her breath.

I sat down with the others, Katara next to me, "Are they any good?" She asked playfully.

"Well, for a bunch of awkward outsiders they try their best," I said quietly, eliciting a giggle from behind Katara's hand.

Zuko and Aang got into position and started the movements.

"With this technique, the dragon's showed us, Zuko and I will be unstoppable," Aang said. Their movements were disciplined and they did moderate justice to the form.

I clapped with the others once they finished. There was something about this brand new situation that was making me feel... warm. I couldn't quite place what it was.

"Yeah that's a great dance you two learned there," Sokka said.

Before I could say anything Zuko spoke up, "It's not a dance, it's a fire bending form."

"We'll just, tap dance our way to victory over the fire lord," Sokka added.

"It's a sacred form that happens to be thousands of years old!" Zuko said, marching up to Sokka, who suddenly realized I was there.

"Well," I said, drawing everyone's attention to me, "It is called the dancing dragon."

Zuko sighed in frustrated defeat as the group laughed.

"Hey Phoenix, can I show you around before we have dinner?" Katara asked.

"I would love that, thank you," I said, following her up.

"I'll come with, I could stretch my legs," joked Teo, rolling his wheeled chair with us as we walked.

The scenery was amazing, all the buildings looked so different from Mokuxa, regardless of even being upside-down.

"So this is the Western Air Temple, the only one that resides underneath a cliff, I used to live at the northern air temple, and it was way different than this one," Teo said.

"What have Aang and Zuko filed you in on?"

"I think the basic stuff, the approaching comet, the Day of Black Sun, the Azula threat, and I guess you guys just reconciled with Zuko?"

"Yeah, more or less," Katara said, glancing away.

It wasn't really my place to push her, so I said nothing.

"Well I'm excited we have more than one fire person, it evens it out a little more for the team," Teo said.

Katara nodded, "And with this war, the more the merrier."

I made a sound of agreement as we stopped to look at a mural.

"Can I ask," Katara said, I turned to her, "Why did you leave your people? After years of staying in hiding and letting people think you were extinct, why come out now?"

I took a moment to think about my answer, "Well, it was the dragons who urged me to. They see more, they know more than me, and I trust the visions they show me. I have a gift that I think has a place in the world of peace that will follow this war."

"Things don't look all that optimistic right now," Katara murmured.

I nodded, "But the Avatar has a fire bending teacher now."

"I know, and not that I don't have faith in Aang, and that we will win, but it's hard to think of the after part."

"I guess things are different when most of my perspective comes from centuries-old celestial beings."

"Speaking of," Teo interjected, "Did you say you had a gift from the dragons?"

"Oh, yes, it something passed down to every High Priestess from the dragons. The ability of this," I opened my palm to display a small burst of life fire, bending it into swirls and flourishes around us.

"This is called life fire, it's the purest form of fire, the kind the dragons themselves bend. it is peace and purity and healing. It can breathe life into someone on the brink of death,"

"So you're a healer!" Katara said, "I'm a healer, I use water of course, but this is amazing, now I won't be the only one stuck taking care of everyone," She pulled me into an abrupt hug which I returned. It was nice that people seemed to be warming up to me.

"Thanks for your kindness Katara," I laughed, "There weren't many other people my age in my tribe, so it's nice to have a friend."

We pulled apart and she smiled, "Me too, I love Toph but six boys around can be exhausting sometimes and she isn't always the most supportive person."

"Well now that Katara's talked your ear off about bending and friendship, I want to talk about your traps," Teo said.

"Ok, Teo," I smiled, "what do you want to know?"

* * *

"No one can make tea like Uncle, but hopefully I learned a thing or two," Zuko said, pouring the last cup of the dark liquid.

"Would you like to hear Uncle's favorite tea joke?" He asked, the question was answered with 'yeah' and 'sure' from everyone around the fire.

Zuko started handing out cups and began "Well I can't remember how it starts, but the punchline goes, 'leaf me alone, I'm bushed'."

The group responded with silence and Zuko looked away bashful, "Well, it's funnier when Uncle tells it,"

"Right," Katara said, "Maybe that's because he remembers the whole thing."

Aang laughed as Zuko handed them their cups, his expression downcast for barely a moment before a content smile graced his face.

"It's nice to get a chance to relax, a little" Toph said, taking her cup from Zuko, "it hardly ever happens."

Zuko offered me a cup and I took it, thanking him. I've never had tea before, but it smelled nice, and it was warm going down my throat. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zuko and Sokka step aside to talk in private. I wonder what that's about.

The next morning when I woke up it took me a minute to take in my surroundings and remember the previous day's activities. I wasn't at home anymore, I was at the Air Temple with the avatar and his friends.

The sun was barely over the horizon. Sometimes always waking up at the break of dawn is great and sometimes I feel even more exhausted than the previous day.

I immediately went to find somewhere to wash up. As I made my way back to camp I saw a few people were up already.

"Oh, Phoenix, good, thought we'd lost you," said Aang walking over to me.

"Good morning Avatar, and you can't get rid of me that easily," I said.

"Sokka and Zuko left this morning to get some more fish and meat and in his absence, Zuko left me with a substitute teacher, you."

"Oh ok," I said, "lead the way then and we can get started."

I followed the Avatar to a small courtyard-like area, it was very scenic and out of the way of the rest of the group.

"So did Zuko leave you with any combat forms to practice?" I asked.

"Yeah, I have to do a whole set every time a badger-frog croaks."

"Wow," I smiled, "Zuko doesn't play around. A substitute and homework?"

The young Avatar grumbled.

"Well let's start with a short meditation," Aang brightened up, "And then I'll take you through all of the Sun Warrior basic forms," and he grumbled again.

* * *

When Zuko and Sokka returned, it turned out they hadn't gone for food, much to Toph's disappointment, and had instead broken some people out of prison, Katara and Sokka's dad, Sokka's girlfriend, Suki, who's a Kyoshi warrior (and I'm not entirely sure what that means but it sounds impressive), and they brought along with them some man named Chit Shang who helped them escape.

The camp was getting pretty full. It almost felt like my tribe, but with different faces, new faces.

I woke one day to an earthquake, or maybe not an earthquake. As my eyes adjusted to the sun still struggling to get over the horizon, I saw the Avatar running towards giant airships which were hurling big boxes that exploded at us.

I was barely on my feet when Aang rushed into the enclave and airbended giant steel blinds closed around us, barricading us in.

Before I knew what was happening, the ceiling above us started to crack, I looked up and saw a rock falling towards Katara.

At the same time, Zuko and I launched towards her, pushing her out of the way with our combined force.

We landed in a heap and I helped Katara up, trying to make sure she was ok since she landed on the ground first.

"Thank you Phoenix, you may have just saved my life,"

"Of course, Zuko helped too," I said, giving a now on his feet Zuko a nod.

Katara gave him a pointed glance and stepped away. Zuko and I shared a look, I wasn't sure what history they had but it clearly hurt him.

Toph and Haku earthbended a tunnel into one of the walls and Toph yelled, "Come on, we can get out through here."

I rushed towards them when I heard Aang yell "Zuko, what are you doing?"

I turned, Zuko wasn't behind me anymore, he was by the barricade.

"Go ahead, I'll hold them off. I think this is a family visit," he said.

Katara and Sokka rushed up to Aang as they called after him.

"Come on," Sokka said, "We've got to get out of here."

They managed to pull Appa a foot or so closer to the tunnel. I saw a new explosion box hit the screen which was starting to crumble away, and Zuko disappeared into the smoke.

"I can't get Appa to go into that tunnel," Aang said, the sky bison grumbling in defiance.

I didn't hear the next few things over the shaking of the Earth, but then Sokka turned around, "We have to split up, it's our best chance," he ran over to us, "take the tunnel and get to the stolen airship."

Katara ran over to him, "No, the fire nation can't separate our family again," she said.

Her father placed his hands on her shoulders, "It'll be ok, and it's not forever,"

A beat passed before Sokka and Katara embraced their father and ran back to Aang, Suki in tow.

I looked between the two groups. The dragons told me to serve the Avatar, protect the Avatar. And now with fire nation airships attacking, I have to do what I can, what I must.

"Here," I said, taking a torch from a discarded pack on the ground, lighting it with life fire and handing it to Hakoda, "As long as you don't get this wet, it won't go out,"

He nodded and I ran towards the Avatar's sky bison.

"I can clear that bit and we can fly out through there," Toph said, gesturing to the rock cover she had created earlier.

"Uh, there's a lot of fire in that general direction," Suki said.

I boosted myself up with a burst of flame, landing in Appa's saddle.

"Fire? I can help with that," I said.

Aang gave me a nod and I moved closer to Appa's head, preparing myself to bend a lot of other people's fire out of our way.

With a crash of Toph's earthbending and Appa's lift-off, we were in the sky, Toph sustaining an earthen shield around Appa as we flew.

It protected us from a burst of blue fire from who I assumed was Azula and we got passed the first ship.

Fire started coming at us from all directions and I bended it into a large cyclone around us, then blasted it back at the sources, knocking a few soldiers from pedestals on the ships. Katara joined me with an aerial of water to deflect some of the blazes as I counter fired. Aang pulled a fancy flying move as we saw an explosion on another ship, and a gangly body that looked like Zuko falling into the chasm.

We swooped down Katara holding out her arm as she was closest, and Zuko tumbled into the saddle.

We all looked back towards Azula who was still falling.

"She's... not gonna make it," Zuko said, a strange realization in his voice.

Just then Azula burst blue flame from her feet propelling her into the side of a cliff and a blade in the rock stopped her descent into the abyss.

"Of course she did," Zuko said after a moment, anger welling in his throat.

* * *

When we landed the sun was descending into the horizon. It was a small grassy plateau on a tall hill, perfect for the night.

As everyone started building their tents I laid down my bedroll and took a seat, meaning to pull out my journal to write more about the day's events. Journal keeping was something my mother did before I was born, and her mother before her, it's how we passed down information.

Toph had finished her rock hut in just a few seconds and came over to me, "Hey there Nix, have you not got a tent?"

"Nix?" I asked, wondering where the sudden nickname came from.

Toph shrugged, waiting for me to answer her question.

"I didn't have a tent, we Sun Warriors spend many a night under the tiny suns, or what you call stars. It's kind of a celebratory practice actually,"

Toph stomped her foot twice and a rocky overhang formed over top of me, "Well, in case it rains," she grumbled.

"Thanks, Toph," I said with a smile, "that's really thoughtful,"

"It was nothing, I just didn't want you coming to my rock fort in the middle of the night if it started to rain."

Despite her gruff demeanor, Toph's genuine expression of friendship was heartwarming. No one in the tribe ever treated me like that, they only treated me like the priestess. Not like a person.

We gathered around the fire for dinner, the night dark. It was strange to have our group size cut in half, only seven of us left now. Not that I didn't think Teo and Haku and the others were safe, but I was already starting to miss them. They were all such new and different and unique people. It felt so wonderfully different than the tribe. But in its own way, it was a tribe.

"Wow, camping," Aang said over his tofu, "it really feels like old times again,"

"If you really want it to seem like old times, I could, uh, chase you around and try to capture you," Zuko said, eliciting a laugh from the group. His sense of humor was dark sometimes but I enjoyed it.

Katara seemed uneasy next to me, I turned to her and she wasn't laughing, her brows were knit in a soft scowl and her eyes downcast.

My attention was brought away by Sokka who held up his cup and said, "To Zuko, who knew that after all those years he tried to snuff us out, today he'd be our hero,"

"Here, here!" we chorused, toasting our drinks.

Zuko seemed mildly startled from all the positive attention, "I'm touched, I.. don't deserve this," he said.

Suddenly next to me, Katara was standing, "Yeah, no kidding," and then she walked away.

"What's with her?" Sokka asked as Zuko rose to his feet.

"I wish I knew," He said, following after her.

"What's with him?" Sokka asked, to which Suki put a hand on his arm.

"Well," Aang said after a moment of silence, "We should probably clear up,"

"I'll help you Aang," I said, standing to help collect empty dishes.

We walked towards the shore and Aang did most of the work to clean the dishes, waterbending and airbending.

"Why do you think Katara is lashing out at Zuko?" I asked, passing him dirty dishes.

"Well," he said, "I could be a lot of things. They were imprisoned together in Ba Sing Se, and she trusted him until he betrayed her and returned to Azula's side. Betrayal is kind of hard for Katara to forgive."

I nodded.

"Besides that, there could be some general distrust since the fire nation killed Katara and Sokka's mom, she may be blaming all fire benders for her death."

"Thank you for telling me, you're very insightful Aang,"

He beamed at me.

"On occasion of course," I added with a smile.

"Hey!" he said, laughing.

We walked back to the tents, Aang went to put the dishes away in Appa's saddle and I boosted myself with a little fire to sit on top of the rock overhang Toph made me.

The tiny suns were beautiful tonight.

Suddenly Zuko was shoved from Sokka's tent and I made eye contact with him, before I could invite him to sit with me Sokka's head peaked out from the tent whisper-yelling "SUKI." until he realized Zuko was still right there and he retreated back into the tent with a casual whistle.

"Hey, Zuko," I said.

"Hey, Phoenix," he replied.

"Care to join me?" I asked, patting a spot on the rock beside me.

He offered me a smile and lifted himself up. He was a bit taller than me and didn't quite need the help of firebending to reach the top.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Frustrated, confused, tired," He sighed, leaning back to lay down on the rock slab, his feet swinging over the edge.

"Aang filed me in on why Katara is upset with you," I said, joining him in looking up at the tiny suns, er, stars.

"Well, I talked to Sokka and I think I know who took their mother,"

"Really?" I asked, turning my attention to Zuko.

"Yeah, he told me the flag on their ships and I know who it belonged to."

"So you're going to try to find them and do what, kill them?"

"No, I, I want to take Katara there, let her kill him herself."

Despite even knowing what happened to Katara, I didn't think that killing the man who did this to her was going to make hew feel better. In fact, I wasn't entirely convinced either of them had it in their hearts to take a life. But I wanted to show that I was on their side, so instead, I asked, "You think this is a safe endeavor?"

"Katara can hold her own, and after everything you and the dragons taught me I'm back to being a more than capable firebender."

"You have a point, I suppose, but don't forget the meaning of what they taught you," I said, "Fire is not violence, and it's not destruction. Don't lose yourself in anger Zuko."

He was silent for a moment, "Well, either way, I'm gonna tell her the plan tomorrow, hopefully we'll leave then, we can't really waste much time,"

I nodded slowly, "Right, well, before you go at least, let me give you something," I said, slipping from the rock onto the ground.

Zuko followed after me and I rummaged in my pack for my ceremonial necklace.

The necklace is built with a small glass chamber in the pendent, normally empty but sometimes filled with a small flame of life fire, to be used in case harm ever came to the high priestess, I never needed to use it, but if I could send it with Zuko, he might be able to help Katara in case something happens.

"This pendant is built to hold life fire in it, it's used in case of emergencies and this seems kind of like one." I filled the small chamber with a small multicolored glowing life fire, "You can use it to heal non-deadly injuries in case it comes up, enough to bring Katara to consciousness if she's dying, enough that she would be able to heal herself from there."

He nodded.

I placed the beads around his neck. Heat rose to my cheeks at the sight of Zuko wearing even such a small amount of Sun Warrior regalia.

"Now I'll just teach you the basics of holding life fire, and it's important you know how to handle since only a priestess or dragon can actually produce it. So if something happens to this flame you're out of luck."

"Right,"

I created a life flame in my hand and gently passed it to Zuko, the flame danced around his palm, not secure but certainly alive and well.

We passed it back and form for a few minutes until he had a good handle on it, "It feels hotter than normal fire." he said.

"It does feel that way at first, but when applied for purification or healing it reveals different properties," I moved to place my hand on the exposed skin of his arm and he flinched away.

"Wait, " he said, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

I looked at the scar covering his left eye. Maybe it was insensitive of me. "Zuko, it won't burn you," I said softly.

"I know, I just," he looked at me for a moment before stepping closer, holding his right arm out.

I gave him a reassuring smile, "You can close your eyes if you want."

He nodded and his eyes fluttered closed. I carefully placed my hand with the life fire directly onto his arm, the flames continued to jump and twist out from under my palm.

He laughed lightly, "It tickles."

I moved my hand up and down his arm to show that it left no burn.

"It feels kind of nice actually," he said, opening his eyes again to look at me, "kind of pleasantly warm, soothing."

"Can I see your knife?" I asked, nodding to the one I knew was hidden in his robes.

"Sure," he passed it to me, "What for?"

I slid the knife across my left palm, beads of blood quickly forming and flowing onto the grass.

"Phoenix!" He said surprised, reaching for my hand.

I pulled it out of the way, offering him his knife back, "I'm going to have you practice using it to heal."

He begrudgingly went silent and after a moment nodded.

I lit a life fire in my right hand and passed it to him, he held it towards my left hand, which was starting to really sting.

"You're going to place the hand over, it doesn't need to touch the skin but it may be easier to control that way," I said.

He placed his hand over the cut, and I could already start to feel it taking effect. It was searing and scalding as it drove out the impurities and I bit the inside of the cheek trying not to call out.

"Good, now you have to feel the fire, feel its heartbeat, and let it slowly drive out the pain, don't go too fast or you may lose control."

"Are you ok?" he asked?

"Yeah," I said, breathless, "The actual purification process can be painful, but it's just how it works."

He nodded.

I felt the fire start to get wilder, which meant he was going to quickly, "Easy now," I said, and it cleared up, until the tickling sensation started, meaning that my palm was restored. I let out a breath.

"Ok, take a look," I said, and he slowly pulled his hand back, the life fire in his palm still ignited.

All evidence of the cut was gone, "Wow," he said, "I can't believe it worked."

I smiled, and he reached out towards me again. Then my hand was in his, and I looked down to our interlocked fingers, the multi-colored flames flickering from between them.

"Will it heal my scar?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"It drives out impurity, if your scar is a part of who you are the fire won't do much for it. Teo asked me to heal his legs, but the fire didn't see anything that needed to be fixed or purified when I tried. It's not healing water," I said, looking into his eyes. I hadn't realized how gold they were before, bordering on yellow even.

He took both of my hands now, "Can you try?"

I nodded.

"Don't be disappointed if it-"

"I know."

"Ok."

I brought my right hand up to his scar, life fire between my fingers. Zuko held his breath.

"Breathe Zuko," I said, and he did, his hand squeezing mine that remained in his grasp.

My thumb touched the scar first, and as the flames jumped to kiss his skin I knew I wouldn't work. But I traced the contour of his cheekbone with my fingertips anyway. Starting by his nose I brushed my knuckles over his browbone, trying to will the flames to fulfill his wish, to repair the skin. They didn't.

I rested my palm on his cheek, letting the flames die.

His eyes opened. I didn't need to say anything.

Before he had the chance to escape I pulled him into a hug, holding him firmly despite his height advantage over me.

After a moment he hugged back.

"I'm sorry, Zuko."

He sighed, his breath tickling my neck.

"Thank you, Phoenix."

"For what?" I asked, pulling away from him to look at him.

He placed a hand over the pendant, "The fire, and for trying..." a sad smile found it's way to his expression.

I nodded, "I only wish I could do more."

He shook his head, "I think you helped more than you realize."

"Ok... let me know if you need anything. Sometimes all we need is quiet company, and that's ok too."

"Thank you... and I can't wait for you to meet my uncle, you two would get along well- I mean, not that I want you to meet him- not that I don't- I mean- if you wanted of course- not that I would pressure you or-"

"Zuko," I tried to stifle my laugh, unsuccessfully of course, "It's ok, and I would be honored to meet your uncle, my mother spoke highly of him," I said, noting Zuko's blush.

"Do you miss your mother?" he asked suddenly.

"Um, in a way I suppose... I uh, never met her."

"I'm sorry," he said, eyes finding mine.

I held my tongue. I didn't want to say too much, "Do you miss your mother?" I asked instead.

"Yeah..." he looked away, "did any of us have normal childhoods?" He asked, a slightly cynical smile on his face.

"What's normal?" I asked, turning to look at the dying fire in the center of the tent circle.

Zuko gave a wry laugh and said "Good point."

We stood there quietly for a few minutes before Zuko said, "I think I'm going to stay outside Katara's tent and wait for her until the morning."

"Are you sure, sounds kind of reckless to me, you'd be better off getting a good night's rest," I said.

Zuko turned to look at me. He needed to prove something, to Katara and himself. He wouldn't budge.

"Ok well make sure you eat something during the night, you'll need your strength for tomorrow, and you're welcome to hang out under my rock overhang in case it rains."

He smiled at me and said, "Thank you Phoenix," and he bowed to me.

"Oh, uh, you're welcome," I said, returning the bow and watching him tuck the life fire pendant under his tunic before walking over to a rock near Katara's tent.

I turned to my bedroll and packed away my journal and ink quill from earlier. My head was spinning a little bit and I knew I just needed to get some sleep.

Chapter Text

I was up by sunrise, before the rest of the group, so I took a stroll, finding a creek to wash up a bit. By the time I got back to camp, a few people were up, and I joined Aang by Appa, who was feeding the bison.

I spotted Zuko across the campsite. He was still sitting outside Katara's tent, he really must have been there all night.

"So, Aang, how do you think your firebending training is going?" I asked to make conversation.

"I think it's going well, especially now that I'm getting a hang on the Sun Warrior forms, they're really helping with all the stuff Zuko is teaching me."

"Good, I hoped so," I said, spotting Katara and Zuko headed our way.

"Aang," Katara said, "I need to borrow Appa."

"Why?" he turned to her, "is it your turn to take a little field trip with Zuko?"

I glanced at Zuko, who gave me a nod.

"Yes," Katara said, defiance in her tone, "it is."

Aang seemed shocked, "Oh... what's going on?"

"We're going to find the man who took my mother from me."

I glanced over to see Sokka who was now invested in what was going on, he was walking towards us.

"Sokka told me the story of what happened," Zuk continued, "I know who did it. And I know how to find him."

"Um, and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?" Aang said, apprehensive.

I was going to interject in support, but Katara scoffed, turning away, "I knew you wouldn't understand."

"Katara," I said, forcing her to stop, "I think we all understand what it's like for those we love to be lost at the hands of the fire nation." Everyone was looking at me now, "Listen, my name isn't just Phoenix, I am the phoenix, my ancestors were born from the spirit of the sun, one that resides in me and every dragon that's ever breathed on this Earth. Every time I feel the sun I'm reminded of my countless brethren who were slaughtered by the hands of the fire nation for glory, as if they were monsters, beasts." I turned to Aang, "If I had the chance to avenge those deaths, I would, and you would too Avatar, your people were wiped out, and so were Sokka and Katara's," I turned back to Katara, "There is no right way to deal with grief, and if this is what Katara needs then it's what she needs. The only person to know Katara better than Sokka is you Aang, you have to know if this is what she thinks is right for her then you have to respect that and trust her."

There was a moment of shocked silence, and Aang looked at Katara, "The monks used to say that revenge was like a two-headed ratviper, while your enemy goes down, you're being poisoned yourself, I trust you Katara, but I don't think revenge is what you need."

Sokka interjected, "I miss mom too Katara, but I think Aang may be right, I don't want to see what this might do to you."

"Listen," Zuko said, "This is the real world, and that man is still out there."

"And now that I know where to find him," Katara continued, " I have to do this, I owe it to all the water tribe lives that were lost. It's not a choice anymore."

"Katara, you do still have a choice, forgiveness." Aang took a step closer.

"That's the same as doing nothing," Zuko said.

"Well..." I added, trying to find a way to articulate the benefits of forgiveness, especially when it was the dragons who forgave Zuko for his family's destruction of them.

"No," Aang interrupted, "it's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive."

"It's not just hard," Katara said, "It's impossible."

She turned and started walking, Zuko behind her. Sokka went after them.

I turned to look at Aang, who refused to make eye contact, watching Katara walk away.

"Aang," I said, trying to get his attention.

Eventually, he turned to me, "And you're a spirit? How did I not know?"

I could tell he was upset, but it wasn't really about me.

"I'm part spirit, yes, but we both know that's not important right now,"

He sighed.

"You know this is what Katara needs right?"

"Yes..."

"She needs to face this man, and I'm not entirely convinced that she would go through with ending him. You've made too much of an impact on her."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"No, but very few things are sure in this life."

He made a sound of agreement and pondered my words. I left him with some time to think, walking back to the tents.

* * *

It seemed that I was right about Katara, and while she certainly didn't forgive the man, she had spared him, and even Zuko agreed that violence wasn't the answer, which I had hoped I had helped to teach him, but I was glad to see his change of heart nevertheless.

Right now, we were landing on Ember Island, at Zuko's childhood vacation home which he assured us was abandoned.

While Zuko kept training Aang, Suki was helping teach me hand-to-hand combat, something a High Priestess was never meant to study in my tribe.

"The biggest thing about fighting without a weapon is making sure all your actions are deliberate and measured, it's almost like bending without the bending," she said.

"Right," I replied, holding the ready stance she had taught me.

"We're gonna start with a few basic evasion maneuvers, and I want you to keep all your movements, deliberate,"

I nodded, following her lead.

* * *

The house was big and half-falling apart, so we opted to all set up our sleeping rolls in one of the sitting rooms, lighting a fire in the fire pit in the middle of the room to keep us warm.

I drifted off into an easy sleep, and was met with a vision.

I was a dragon, one my great-grandmother had known, named Ajo. I remember reading about her in the scrolls, and I knew what happened to her.

There was a sound behind me and I turned to see a human man, older, with greying hair.

Ajo was ancient and reclusive, the rest of the dragons knew not to bother her. She was the last purple dragon, and as such, I expected what came next.

There was an intense heat across my body, searing, burning. I struggled in the tight cave to get a good angle on the human, to fight back, but he was able to get through my scales, to burn away my insides.

Before I knew it my vision was blurring and I fell to the ground, unable to fight. I looked into Sozin's yellow eyes before the world turned black.

I jolted upright, my breath fast and my heart beating heavily, banging on my ribcage.

I looked round to get my bearings. I'm with my friends, everything is fine, the fire was just embers by my feet but I could still feel it's warmth.

"Are you ok?" I looked over to the voice, it was Zuko.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, scooting closer to the fire and relighting it.

"Trouble sleeping?"

"Yeah," I said, "you too?"

He nodded.

"Phoenix can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What do your tattoos mean?"

"Why do you want to know?" I asked, tilting my head in curiosity.

He shrugged, "I don't know, I guess I just need to think about something other than the comet."

I nodded, "Yeah..." I looked down to my torso, and the tattoos on my exposed midriff. I stood on my knees closer to the fire, adjusting the bottom edge of my top to show more of the tattoo, which stretched across almost all my body. "Well, In our culture, tattoos are a sign of power, courage, and bravery. They're detailed illustrations to show bits of creation or scenes of the dragons."

"What do yours show?" he asked, scooting around the fire to sit next to me, inspecting the ink closer.

I bit my lip, do I tell him? It's not like I've been specifically told to never tell anyone... It's just not something I've ever really told someone, my tribe all knows even though it's never spoken of. My origins are sacred.

And I know I mentioned it to them a few days ago, but I've specifically not brought it up again.

"It has to do with me being part spirit," I said, slowly.

"Do you not want everyone to know?" He asked.

"Not yet, not fully," I said.

"Ok, I won't share."

"Thank you," I said, taking a deep breath, searching his expression one last time, "Ok. Very near the beginning, the Sun left the spirit world and took on a mortal form. A white dragon. Eventually, there came a time when humans found themselves with the ability to bend the elements, and the first firebender the Sun chanced upon was a woman called Phoenix. She shared with the woman the ways of bending fire, and the woman developed a close bond with the Sun. They remained as companions for the rest of the woman's life, and when Phoenix died, the Sun was stricken with grief and shared a part of itself with her. The fire of the Sun erupted out of the body of Phoenix, and from the ashes formed a human babe. The Sun raised the child as the next Phoenix, who now that she shared part of the spirit of the Sun could bend the same life fire. Overcome with joy in her new companion, the Sun laid an egg, one that hatched a new dragon from which all others would be born. The Sun and Phoenix lived together in peace for many lifetimes. When the time came for the Sun's mortal form to pass on, it returned to the spirit world, and Phoenix remained the link between the Sun and our world in all her lifetimes to follow. As the Sun bid farewell to the physical plane, the first star appeared in the night sky."

Zuko was silent for a moment, and I leaned back covering my tattoos with my arms, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"So, do you remember your past lives, like Aang?" he asked.

"No," I said, "they're not exactly past lives, they are my ancestors, my mother was the Phoenix that came before me, and my grandmother the one before her. There is no connection between us exactly, I was just born of my mother's death."

"Oh," he said, looking into the fire.

"I know it's a lot to take in..." I said. Maybe I shouldn't have told him. I mean with everything going on, is this just one more random thing to have on his mind?

Zuko went quiet again for a moment, staring into the flames, "I'm sorry you never knew your mother."

I scooted closer to him, linking our arms together. "I'm sorry you lost yours," I said.

He glanced at me with a sad smile.

"How did she disappear?" I asked.

He took a deep breath.

"I was 13. I remember she came into my room in the middle of the night. All I remember is her telling me that she loved me, and that everything she did was for us, Azula and I. I never saw her again."

"Was it...?"

"My father? Yes."

I nodded. Zuko's father deserves to leave the earth. To abuse his children? Steal their mother? not to mention the war and atrocities his line has committed against the world and the dragons.

"Nix?" He asked after a moment.

"I see Toph's nickname is catching on," I said, managing to get him to smile.

"Thank you."

"Thank me? For what?"

"Listening. It's been a long time since I had genuine support from someone."

I turned to him, "Of course, it's nice to have someone to talk to. And honestly, I feel like we have a connection, maybe because of the dragons, but I don't know really..."

"What do the dragons have to do with this?" He seemed suddenly guarded, his tone losing some of its warmth.

"Well," I said suddenly wanting to pick my words carefully, "the dragons showed me a vision of you and Aang, you were both wearing ceremonial robes, and smiling. I think it was a vision of after the war. But when I saw it I knew that you were important."

He looked into the fire, "So you're just here because the dragons sent you?"

"Well, yeah at first, but I've been thinking about what happens after this is over. I'm not sure I would be ready to go back." I admitted. Did I really feel that way?

"Really?" he asked, glancing back at me.

"Yeah, I think so. I want Suki to teach me to fight with a weapon, and I want you to teach me to fight with my bending. There's so much about the world that I could never imagine. Like, I knew about oceans, but to actually see one? And mountains and forests and rivers and valleys, it's amazing and beautiful and I want to see it all, learn about as much of it as I can."

He smiled, "You know, I have an ex-girlfriend,"

I cut him off, the thought of Zuko with a girlfriend suddenly brought laughter of disbelief out of me, "You had a girlfriend?" I asked.

"Yes," He said, blushing and throwing me a grumpy look, "She was, very different from you..."

"Do you miss her?" I asked.

"I don't know, she kind of attacked us at the Boiling Rock, and then she may have helped save us? I'm not sure..."

"Wow, that sounds... healthy," I said.

He sighed, "That's the thing about her. Even though we were happy from time to time, the relationship was strained, sometimes it felt toxic, and I'm not sure if it was her or me."

"What happened?"

"Well, we met when we were kids, and I had a crush on her, and then when I briefly rejoined the fire nation, we got together. We both had our own problems, I was too emotional and got jealous, and she hardly ever shared her emotions with me, it was a mess, and I don't think it was ever a functional relationship."

"Do you miss her?" I asked again, softer this time.

He nodded, barely, like he was admitting something he was afraid of.

"Come here Boxito," I said, pulling him into a hug. He hugged back.

"What's Boxito?" he asked quietly.

"It's a term of endearment in my tribe, this is often how the elders would console me when I was younger," I said, humming one of our blessing songs for heartache and loss.

Eventually, I think Zuko fell asleep, so I pulled my blanket close and laid him in it, putting out the fire and walking around to find another spot on the floor.

I thought about my tribe, thought about my stars, the tiny suns, the lost dragons from over the past millennia. Itzel's birthday is soon, my handmaiden and the closest thing I had to a friend. I wonder if she misses me. I didn't think I would miss her this much.

I just needed to hear Nesimo's drum beats and Xacuk's singing. I needed to dance with the tribe, practice bending with the elders, trade stories with Itzel. Be home.

I turned onto my side, looking at my new friends sleeping around the embers of the night's fire.

This past week or so has been amazing, but I'm exhausted from all the newness. I sighed, humming a verse of the same song I hummed for Zuko, eventually drifting into sleep.

* * *

Training picked up as normal the next day, Suki teaching me offensive techniques for hours, I wasn't sure I was getting any better, but by the time I was thoroughly exhausted Suki assured me I was improving. We were taking a short break with the rest of the team when Sokka ran into the courtyard, interrupting the conversation.

"Guys, guys, I was in town and you'll never believe what I found," He held aloft a poster, "It's a play about us!"

"What?" Katara asked, coming closer.

We crowded around him as Suki read off the poster, "The Boy in the Iceberg is a new production from acclaimed playwright Pu-on Tim, who scoured the globe gathering information on the Avatar, from the icy South Pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se. His sources include singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war, and a surprisingly knowledgeable merchant of cabbage."

Sokka continued, "Brought to you by the Ember Island players."

"Ugh," Zuko exclaimed, "My mother used to take us to see them. They butchered Love Amongst the Dragons every year."

"Love Amongst the Dragons?" I asked incredulously.

"A trashy and patriotic love story, really not worth the time," he said, waving his hand.

"Sokka," Katara interjected, "Do you really think it's a good idea for us to attend a play about ourselves?"

"Come on, a day at the theatre? This is the kind of wacky time-wasting nonsense that I've been missing," Sokka said.

"I don't know it could be fun," I said, sitting next to Zuko on the stone ledge of the fountain, "I'd love to see the Team Avatar origin story in a theatrical debut."

"Great, so we'll go tonight!" Sokka said, rushing back into the house.

* * *

I sat in between Katara and Toph, marveling at the architecture of the building, this was nothing like the kinds of theatres we had in Mokuxa, mostly because those were outdoor amphitheaters and half-ruined.

"Why are we sitting in the nosebleeds section?" Toph asked, "My feet can't see a thing from up here."

"Don't worry," Katara said, "Nix and I will tell your feet what's happening," she looked at me with a smile and we turned to the stage as the lights dimmed.

Well when Intermission rolled around, Katara certainly wasn't smiling anymore.

"So far, this intermission is the best part of the play." Zuko said next to me, his arms crossed.

"Apparently," Sokka added, "this playwright thinks I'm just an idiot, who tells bad jokes about meat all the time." He added to his point by taking a big bite of whatever jerky substance he had just returned with.

"Yeah," Suki offered, "You tell bad jokes about plenty of other topics."

"I know!"

"At least the Sokka actor kinda looks like you," Aang said, "That woman playing the Avatar doesn't resemble me at all!"

"I don't know," Toph added, "You are more in touch with your feminine side than most guys,"

Aang groaned.

"Relax Aang, they're not accurate portrayals. It's not like I'm a preachy crybaby who can't resist giving overemotional speeches about hope all the time." Katara said.

I cringed slightly, managing to think of at least three examples since I've been traveling with the team.

Katara caught onto our silence, "What?" she asked, holding up her hands.

"Yeah... that's not you at all," Aang said.

"Listen friends," Toph interjected, "it's obvious that the playwright did his research. I know it must hurt, but what you're seeing up there on that stage is the truth."

The intermission before the final act rolled around, and I think by now I was really starting to see this play for what it was. Fire nation propaganda.

After a few moments of standing in the lobby Suki said, "It seems like every time there's a big battle, you guys barely make it out alive. I mean, you guys lose a lot!"

Sokka, who looked exhausted spoke up "You're one to talk, Suki. Didn't Azula take you captive? That's right, she did!"

Suki looked at him seriously, "Are you trying to get on my bad side?"

He glanced away and sheepishly added, "Just saying..."

Katara appeared around the corner, "Has anyone seen Aang?"

"He left to get me fire gummies like 20 minutes ago," Sokka said.

Katara muttered something about checking outside and walked off towards the balcony.

After a few more moments Suki and Sokka rushed off to find the actors backstage and just Toph, Zuko, and I were left by the door, so I slid to the ground to join Zuko in a sitting position.

"Geez," Toph said, joining us on the floor, "everyone's getting so upset about their characters. Even Zuko seems more down than usual, and that's saying something!"

I chuckled.

Zuko looked down. "You don't get it, it's different for you, Toph. You get a muscly version of yourself, taking down ten bad guys at once, and making sassy remarks."

"Yeah, that is pretty great," she added.

"But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself."

I placed a silent hand on Zuko's which was clenched into a fist at his side. At the contact, he relaxed a little.

"You have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have." Toph said, her voice gentle for a change.

"How do you know?" Zuko asked, turning to Toph but his hand twisting around to hold mine.

"Because I once had a long conversation with the guy, and all he would talk about was you."

Zuko looked down in disbelief. "Really?"

"Yeah," Toph nodded, "it was kind of annoying, but it was also very sweet. All your uncle wanted was for you to find your own path, and see the light. Now you're here with us. He'd be proud." She then punched him square in the shoulder.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"That's how I show affection."

I laughed as Zuko pulled his hand from mine and rubbed his shoulder.

Just then a little boy in an Aang costume ran by, looking at Zuko, "Your Zuko costume is good but the scar is on the wrong side."

Zuko bristled, calling after the little boy, "It's not on the wrong side!"

This time Toph laughed with me, as Zuko pulled his hood back on and slouched down against the wall.

The play's ending left us in a little bit of shock, and while I definitely wasn't upset that I wasn't in it, the ending didn't leave much for interpretation in how this fight was going to end. The fire nation is victorious, and while it's certainly something we've all thought about, it was different to see it acted out on stage, and for a huge crowd to be cheering over our defeat.

So it wasn't a good play, that much was obvious.

Once we returned to our makeshift camp at Zuko's childhood vacation home, Katara pulled me aside, asking for some help with some of the laundry that needed to be finished tonight. I thought it was a strange request as she normally asks Aang, since he can actually waterbend, but I excused myself from my conversation with Toph and Zuko nonetheless and followed her to the fountain in the courtyard.

We arrived at the fountain with the sacks of clothes and started going through everything.

"Sorry to pull you away, I just needed to talk to someone..." Katara said after a moment.

"No, it's fine, I'm happy to help," I said, "What's going on?"

"Well, when we were waiting at the playhouse during the second intermission, Aang and I got to talking..."

"Uh, ok? About what?"

"Well... ok so on the day of black sun, we invaded the fire nation, it obviously didn't go as planned, but before it happened, Aang and I kissed..."

"Oh," I said, pausing what I was doing to glance at her.

"And the thing is, I don't know why I did it... I mean I like him, but there's just so much going on right now. And then during the play..."

"Right, the little brother comment."

"Exactly, so then as we were out on the balcony, he brought up the kiss and I told him I wasn't sure what we were, or how I felt."

"Well that makes sense," I said, "you are planning to defeat the Fire Lord in just a few days."

Katara cringed, "About that..."

"About what...? Last I checked that was still the plan."

"Well, the whole point for the comet was to give the Fire Nation the power to take Ba Sing Se, but it's already fallen, so we've been planning to attack after the comet comes, Aang needs more time to master firebending, and honestly could brush up on water and earth..."

I nodded, "That makes sense I guess, but you are getting off-topic, Katara."

"Ah, right, so anyway, he tried to kiss me, right after I told him that I was feeling confused and overwhelmed."

"He didn't!" I exclaimed.

"He did," she looked at me with disdain.

"Ugh, what an idiot. I should take a wack at beating him up a little bit, maybe I could convince Zuko to go extra hard on him tomorrow."

"No it's ok, Nix," she smiled, "but thank you, and thanks for defending me about the whole thing with the Southern Raiders, I know in the end the right thing was to show mercy, but it meant a lot to know you were on my side."

"In my tribe, women are strong and powerful warriors. The sun spirit is referred to with feminine pronouns and chose a woman to lead the people. So obviously women are respected as those of the sun. I know you're a waterbender, but I see those qualities in you. And I knew ultimately you would make the right decision no matter what that looked like. And if you do decide that when this is all over you like Aang, your boundaries should be the most important thing to him."

"I know, and it's not really an issue we have very often, but after watching a twisted version of me throw herself at men on stage that are all people I actually know, I just felt so weird and uncomfortable, and then for Aang to decide now was the time to... ugh I don't even know."

"Has he said anything else about it?" I asked.

"No, he has been keeping his distance, which makes me think his lapse in judgment was temporary."

I nodded, "That sounds like the least he could do to me, but I'm glad."

Katara chuckled, finishing up the last garment. We stretched out a line and hung the clothes up for Katara to bend the last of the water from them. We folded in a much lighter conversation, which was nice, it felt like I had a friend, and it was especially nice when she laughed at my jokes.

By the time we got back, almost everyone was asleep except for Zuko who was staring ominously into the fire.

Katara and I laid out the clothes by their owners and I got into my sleeping roll, tossing a small life fire flame at Zuko, next to me, who forced himself out of his trance to catch it.

"Maybe you should get some sleep," I said nodding to the rest of our friends who had dozed off.

He looked at me, sighed, and flopped onto his back on his bedroll. His eyes were still open, but I wagered that was the best I would get from him. He clearly had something on his mind.

I turned over, letting the warmth from the fire carry me off to sleep.

* * *

"More ferocious! Imagine striking through your opponent's heart!" Zuko said, a scowl has been etched onto his face for the past 20 minutes.

Aang finished the move and turned, irritated, "I'm trying."

"Zuko, maybe we should give him a break," I said, I was even getting tired, we'd been training with Aang for hours.

He threw me a look before turning back to Aang, "Now let me hear you roar like a tigerdillo!"

Aang roared, flames barely erupting from his palms.

"That was pathetic, I said roar!"

I was about to dismiss Zuko but Aang did it again, this time much more powerful. Zuko even nodded approvingly.

Katara spoke up from the steps a few feet away, "Who wants a nice cool glass of watermelon juice?"

"Oh! Me!" Aang said, starting to run towards her before Zuko grabbed his shirt.

"Your lesson's not over yet! Get back here!"

"Zuko," I chided, "Let's just take a little break, it's not a big deal," I said.

"Yeah, Nix is right," Suki added, "What's the problem?"

"Fine," he said, letting Aang go, "If you want to lounge around like a bunch of snail sloths all day, then go ahead!" and he stormed off.

I sighed, not sure if I should go after him or not.

"Maybe Zuko's right." Sokka said "Sitting around the house has made us pretty lazy. But I know just the thing to change all that... Beach Party!"

With a laugh we rushed down to the beach, Katara making a surfboard out of ice to take to the waves. The rest of the group got on with their own beach-related projects so I tried something that's an art form back home, glass making.

The sand in Mokuxa is a lot different than this sand, but maybe it'll work just as well.

I started blasting away, trying out different heat combinations and managed to start making glass, it was rough and almost green colored, which could be from the sea, but I tried making a few bangles like Itzel showed me many years ago.

I had just slid on the green-blue bangles to see how they fit when I heard fire blasts behind me, and turned to see Zuko running.

Katara and I rushed over, asking Sokka what happened.

"Zuko's gone crazy! I made a sand sculpture of Suki and he destroyed it!" he paused, "Oh, and he's attacking Aang."

"What?!" I yelled, running up the way we came, my friends in tow.

We had just gotten to the house when Zuko was blasted from the second story and landed in the courtyard, Aang jumped down moments later.

"What's wrong with you?" Katara asked, "You could have hurt Aang!"

"What's wrong with me?" he asked, incredulously, "What's wrong with all of you? How can you sit around having beach parties when Sozin's Comet is only three days away?" there was a moment of silence, I know Katara told me the plan last night, but did no one tell Zuko? "Why are you all looking at me like I'm crazy?"

"About Sozin's Comet..." Aang spoke up, "I was actually gonna wait to fight the Fire Lord until after it came."

"After?" Zuko asked, taking a step backward.

"I'm not ready, I need more time to master firebending."

"And frankly, your earthbending could still use some work too," Toph said, to which Aang grimaced.

"So you all knew Aang was going to wait?" Zuko asked, looking over the group, his eyes landing on me with such an intensity I had to force myself not to look away, though I wasn't entirely sure why.

Sokka's voice broke our eye contact, "Honestly, if Aag tries to fight the Fire Lord now, he's gonna lose," at a glance from Aang he added, "No offense."

"The whole point of fighting the Fire Lord before the Comet was to stop the Fire Nation from winning the war, but they pretty much won the war when they took Ba Sing Se. Things can't get any worse." Katara said.

"You're wrong," Zuko turned away. "It's about to get worse than you can even imagine. The day before the eclipse, my father asked me to attend an important war meeting. It was what I dreamed about for so many years. My father had finally accepted me back. But then I heard his plan. They're going to take the airships and during the comet, destroy everything, burn it all to the ground. He wants to crown himself ruler of everything. I wanted to speak out against this horrifying plan, but I'm ashamed to say I didn't. My whole life, I struggled to gain my father's love and acceptance, but once I had it, I realized I'd lost myself getting there. I'd forgotten who I was."

I took a step forward, solemnly placing a hand on his shoulder. He turned to give me a grateful look.

"I can't believe this," came Katara's voice.

For Ozai to harness the power of the comet to destroy the world? I can't even imagine it. The endless horrors of a world on fire, thousands, millions of people gone in the inferno. And for absolutely nothing but power. My stomach turned.

"I always knew the Fire Lord was a bad guy, but his plan is just pure evil," Sokka said.

"What am I gonna do?" Aang said, his expression in shock.

I squeezed Zuko's shoulder before letting him go and he took a step towards Aang, "I know you're scared, and I know you're not ready to save the world, but if you don't defeat the Fire Lord before the comet comes, there won't be a world to save anymore."

Aang turned away, "Why didn't you tell me about your dad's crazy plan sooner?"

"I didn't think I had to. I assumed you were still going to fight him before the comet. No one told me you decided to wait," Zuko said, his voice rising in frustration.

"This is bad." Aang held his head in his hands, "This is really, really bad."

"Aang," Katara interjected, "you don't have to do this alone."

"Strength in numbers right?" I added.

"Yeah," Toph said, "if we all fight the Fire Lord together, we got a shot at taking him down."

"All right! Team Avatar is back!" Sokka said, who then pointed at Aang "Air!", then turned to Katara, "Water!", the Toph, "Earth!", then to Zuko and I "Fire!", then he grabbed a few leaves and handed them to Suki and himself, "Fan and sword!"

We all laughed and Aang smiled, "Fighting the Fire Lord is going to be the hardest thing we've ever done together, but I wouldn't want to do it any other way."

Someone yelled group hug and Toph pulled me in, after a moment I turned to Zuko who was standing apart.

"Get over here, Zuko. Being part of the group also means being part of group hugs," Katara said with a smile.

With a resigned look, Zuko relented and we all hugged, just moments before Appa grumbled happily and crashed into us.

Zuko and Aang went back to training and I took some time to go over healing techniques with Katara, I was sure we could glean something from each other and I had a sneaking suspicion I'd need to have a better handle on my abilities as the battle grew closer.

We were out in the pavilion and I had my journal out, Katara and I taking turns drawing diagrams. She explained that water healing was based on the paths of blood flowing through the body, and she showed me some of the paths blood took. I wonder if that's something I can incorporate in my life fire healing...

We were drawn out of our conversation when Aang said Katara's name, "...Katara and a little spirit water action," he turned to us, "am I right?"

"Actually... I used it all up when Azula shot you."

"Oh..." he looked to me, "Well what about Nix's dragon fire?"

"I've never tried to heal a lightning wound before, I can't guarantee anything," I said. flesh wounds were easy, the fire senses the impurity and can deal with it. If there is a way to heal scars, I certainly haven't figured it out, but a lightning wound? That goes deep as far as Katara has hold me. I wouldn't even know where to start.

"You'll have to take the Fire Lord's life before he takes yours," Zuko said.

Aang glanced away, "Yeah, I'll just... do that."

Chapter Text

We arrived on the beach, Aang nowhere in sight.

We'd been looking for him for at least an hour now.

"Look, there's his footprints," said Sokka, pointing to the impressions in the sand which lead into the water, "The trail ends here."

"So, he went for a midnight swim and never came back?" Suki asked.

Their conversation faded to the back of my mind. Something felt off about this. I could sense something, or the spirit in me could sense something, the presence of something immensely powerful, and impossibly ancient.

I interrupted the team's trading of theories, "Guys there was something here."

"Something here? What was it, there are no other footprints," Katara said.

"No something was in the water, something really powerful."

"Like a spirit? Can you sense it?" Zuko asked.

"Is it dangerous?" Suki asked.

"Umm," I tried to pinpoint the feeling, it was tugging on something really deep inside me, something yearning. But it didn't feel malevolent, "It's distant, so it's hard to tell, but I don't think it's dangerous. It's certainly an ancient force, like, older than me, well not me, but older than the first Phoenix."

"So could it be a spiritual journey thing?" Katara asked.

"As far as I can tell, yeah," I said.

"Are you able to track him?" Sokka asked.

"No, it's too far at this point, I can just feel the lingering energy. Sorry, I know that wasn't that helpful," I said, turning back to my friends.

"Well, if we just need to find him, I think I know someone who could help," Zuko said.

* * *

We walked into the tavern, and I had to stop myself from gauking, I had never been to a place like this before, and the way the other people in the building turned to look at us, at me, made my skin crawl.

I'd never felt ashamed wearing my Sun Warrior clothing, with my midriff, arms, and most of my legs exposed, it was traditional, significant. But the way these men were looking at me... I wasn't sure if I wanted to run or blast them until their skin melted. Uh- I mean...

"Zuko," I said, clearing my thoughts as I turned my focus to my friend who led us into the tavern, "why are we here exactly?"

He finished looking around and I followed his gaze, to a woman dressed in black and maroon on the other side of the room, who was seeming to fight off a group of men without lifting a finger. Maybe I could ask her for a pointer.

"June," he nodded to her.

"Oh yeah, that weird bounty hunter with the giant mole," Sokka said.

"Mole?" Suki asked, "Her skin is flawless."

"No," he said, "she has this giant mole creature she rides around on."

"A shirshu," Zuko provided, "it's the only animal that can track Aang's scent anywhere in the world," he turned back to us, "it's the one shot we have at finding him."

After a few moments, she had effectively knocked out most of the men in the room, all without spilling her tea.

"I don't know who this June lady is," Toph said, "but I like her."

"I remember her, she helped you attack us!"

I looked back to Sokka, amused.

"Yup, back in the good old days," Zuko said, walking over to June.

I smiled, following him.

"Oh great," she said, taking note of our approach, "it's prince pouty. I see you got yourself a new girlfriend," she glanced to me and I jumped slightly, surprised.

I quickly glanced at Zuko "I'm not his girlfriend," - "She's not my girlfriend," we said in unison. I could feel heat creep it's way up to my cheeks, displaying my embarrassment.

"Ok, ok, sheesh, could have fooled me," she said taking another sip, "so what do you want?"

"We need your help finding the Avatar."

"Hm, doesn't sound too fun."

Zuko clenched his fists, "Does the end of the world sound like more fun?"

She rose a single eyebrow at him.

I stepped forward, putting a hand in front of Zuko to get him to take a step back, "What he meant to say was, things are about to get very bad for pretty much everyone if we don't find the Avatar. He's the only one who can stop the imminent genocide of the whole world by the Fire Lord."

She set her cup down, turning her attention to me.

"Sounds pretty serious, thanks for treating me to the actual details," she placed her cup on the table and stood, heading from the tavern, "glad to see one of you has a decent head on your shoulders."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zuko asked as we followed her.

Once outside we brought a scent sample to Nyla, the shirshu, who then walked in a few circles before laying on the ground, pawing at her nose.

"What's that mean?" Zuko asked, crossing his arms.

"It means your friend's gone."

"Yeah we know he's gone, that's why we came to you," Toph said.

"No, I mean he's gone, gone, he doesn't exist," June said.

"What do you mean Aang doesn't exist? Do you mean he's ... you know, dead?" Sokka asked.

"Nope. We could find him if he were dead. Wow, it's a real head-scratcher," June replied, sarcasm dripping from her tone.

"Nix, is there any spiritual explanation for this? I thought when someone enters the spirit world they leave their body behind," Katara asked, turning to me.

"I mean, as far as I know, that's the case, but like I said earlier, there is an ancient being or power that met Aang, and he may have gone with it. What that entails exactly? I don't really know."

"Well sorry about your friend but I'll be going," June said, sliding into the saddle on her shirshu.

"Wait," Zuko said, "I have another idea. There's only one other person in this world who can help us face the Fire Lord. I'll be right back with a smell sample."

After rummaging around in his bag Zuko returned with an old sandal.

"You saved your uncle's sweaty sandal? Ugh!" Sokka said, pinching his nose.

I laughed.

"I think it's kind of sweet," Toph said, smiling behind her bangs.

After Nyla took off, following Iroh's scent trail we scrambled onto Appa and trailed behind.

After riding for an entire day, we started coming up on the biggest thing I'd ever seen in my life.

"We're going to Ba Sing Se?" Zuko asked.

"Is that all one city?" I asked in awe, looking along the horizon for the seemingly neverending walls.

"Welcome to the Earth Kingdom capital, or would be," Toph said dryly.

We came to the ground as Nyla stopped running, pawing at some rubble.

Your uncle's somewhere beyond the wall." June said, turning to the group of us as we dismounted Appa. "Nyla's getting twitchy so he can't be too far. Good luck."

She got back on her shirshu and took off without a second glance. What an interesting woman.

"It's been a long day," Zuko said, "let's camp and start our search again at dawn."

We all got our stuff sorted and cozied up on Appa's limbs to sleep, Toph electing to build herself an earth tent instead.

Appa was warm, and the rumbles of the air bison's breathing was kind of comforting. It was easy to fall asleep.

After just a few hours, sometime close to dawn, I awoke with a start, the heat of fire suddenly surrounding me.

I stood quickly my eyes adjusting to the light, my friends joining me in looking up at a group of four men standing on top of the rubble.

"Well, look who's here," said one of them as the fire died and they made their way down to us.

"What's going on? We're surrounded by old people!" Toph said.

"Not just any old people," Katara said, "These are great masters and friends of ours," she walked up to one of them and bowed, "Pakku."

He returned the gesture, "It is respectful to bow to an old master," he held out his arms, "but how about a hug for your new grandfather?"

Sokka made a kind of screeching noise as Katara embraced Pakku.

"That's so exciting! You and Gran-Gran must be so happy to have found each other again!" Katara exclaimed.

"I made her a new betrothal necklace and everything," Pakku said with a smile.

"Welcome to the family, Gramp-Gramp!" Sokka said, embracing him as well.

Pakku pushed him away slightly and I heard Suki next to me giggle.

"You can still just call me Pakku."

"How about Grand-Pakku?" Sokka asked.

"No."

Katara looked at Zuko and I, "And, this was Aang's first firebending teacher," she beckoned us closer and we both bowed to him.

"Jeong Jeong," he introduced himself.

"Zuko," Zuko replied next to me.

"Phoenix, it's a pleasure to meet you," I said.

At the mention of my name his eyes glinted, I could guess he knew of me.

"Phoenix? Well, I'm sure we'll have much to discuss," Jeong Jeong said with a smile.

Next down the line Sokka bowed to the only master who hadn't gone gray yet, "Master Piandao," Sokka said.

"Hello, Sokka."

"So wait," Suki asked, "How do you all know each other?"

"All old people know each other. Don't you know that?" laughed who I now assumed was King Bumi.

"We're all part of the same ancient secret society. A group that transcends the divisions of the four nations," said Piandao.

"The Order of the White Lotus," said Zuko next to me.

Bumi slid over, "That's the one!"

"The White Lotus has always been about philosophy and beauty and truth," Jeong Jeong said, "but about a month ago, a call went out that we were needed for something important."

Pakku nodded, "It came from a Grand Lotus: your uncle, Iroh of the Fire Nation."

Zuko smiled and glanced at me, which only made me smile.

"Well, that's who we're looking for," Toph said.

"Then we'll take you to him," Piandao said.

"Wait!" Bumi interrupted, "Someone's missing from your group..." he walked up to Sokka, "Someone very important..." He leaned into his face, "Where's Momo?!"

"He's gone," Sokka said, "and so is Aang."

"Oh well." Bumi said, patting Sokka on the chest almost making him lose his balance, "So long as they have each other, I'm sure we have nothing to worry about. Let's go!"

Bumi stomped on the ground and earthbended a platform that launched him back over the wall.

I smiled and we followed the other Masters, making our way through the rubble.

After a bit of a walk full of recounted stories, we reached an earthen barrier that Bumi bended out of the way, revealing several tents organized like a small village.

"Welcome to old people camp!" Bumi said, taking the lead.

Zuko next to me looked around, his brow knit in concern, "Where... where is he?"

Piandao pointed toward one of the larger tents towards the middle, "Your uncle is in there Prince Zuko."

Zuko steeled his expression and walked forward confidently, but as he grew nearer, his confidence drained with each step before he sat in front of the tent, slumped over.

I carefully made my way over and sat next to him quietly.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Sick to my stomach. My uncle hates me, I know it."

I gently placed my hand on his arm.

"He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?"

"Zuko," I said, "you are a changed man. You don't think the same, feel the same, or even believe the same things anymore. Are you sorry? For what you did?"

"More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life," he said with such certainty that my breath caught for a split second.

"Then he'll forgive you."

He was quiet for a moment before he nodded and gave me a look, standing and stepping into the tent.

I stood and made my way to Appa to grab my stuff, taking one more look at the tent.

* * *

The next morning I woke up at sunrise like normal, and since it was summertime, not everyone was awake yet.

I made my way over to Appa and got out my journal, opening it to my healing notes and lighting a life fire in one hand, pressing it to my opposite arm.

Katara said water healing uses the channels of blood in the body as a conduit, but the diagram she drew hasn't seemed to be the path the life fire takes through the body.

Blood went through the body in different sizes of canals, like rivers and veins, keeping the bigger sections close to the inside of the body, but this other system seemed to be pretty evenly dispersed and didn't seem to ride the flow of blood in the body as water healing did, but rather was a quick almost electric connection to everything.

As my mind wandered my unconscious control of the fire started the slip and my nerves started to overload. I quickly retracted my thinking and smothered the flame.

Nerves... Maybe it's a system of nerves?

As I was writing down my observations I heard talking as two people exited one of the larger tents, it was Zuko and a shorter man I assumed was his uncle, Iroh.

I closed my journal as Zuko spotted me and he waved, leading his uncle in my direction. I packed my things away and stood to greet them.

"Good morning," I said.

"Uncle, this is Phoenix, High Priestess of the Sun Warriors," Zuko said, gesturing to me.

We bowed to each other. Iroh had a sort of energy about him, one similar to what I felt in Aang though much fainter. Maybe it was a spiritual aura? From what Zuko has told me about him I wouldn't be surprised if he had been blessed or touched by a spirit, perhaps that's what it is?

"Iroh, it is a pleasure to finally meet you, my mother spoke very highly of you."

"High Priestess, it is always an honor to be in the presence of the first firebender," Iroh smiled.

"You make me sound a bit more qualified than I really am," I said with a light laugh.

"Well, your mother certainly taught me a thing or two."

"Really?" | "Really?" Zuko and I said in unison.

"Oh yes, she's the one who taught me how to breathe fire.

I smiled, "She never mentioned that in her journals."

"Oh," he frowned slightly, "you don't know about the secret journals?"

"Secret journals? My mother kept secret journals?"

"Yes, I... assumed you would know," Iroh said gently.

I grew quiet. She kept things away from the hands of the tribe? What am I supposed to make of this?

I felt Zuko's hand on my shoulder, "Nix, are you ok?"

"How did I never think of that?" I asked, looking up, "You know how much stuff I have to refrain from writing about because I know my tribe will read through it? And I could have just kept a secret journal all along."

Iroh chuckled.

"Iroh, do you happen to know where she kept them?"

"Unfortunately, I don't."

I nodded. What was she keeping from me?

"Well, it seems the camp is starting to wake up, so let us go and brew some tea," Iroh said with a smile, heading towards some of the other White Lotus members who were starting to prepare a meal.

Zuko and I followed him and I held Zuko's arm, signaling for him to trail behind a few steps with me.

"Seems things turned out pretty well with your uncle," I said.

"Yeah," he smiled, rubbing the back of his neck, "Thanks for talking with me about it last night."

"Oh, yeah, of course," I said, my cheeks seeming warmer than usual.

Once the food was ready and passed out, the team gathered around with Iroh to eat and discuss the plan.

"Uncle, you're the only person other than the Avatar who can possibly defeat the Father Lord," Zuko said, sitting across the circle from me.

"You mean the Fire Lord," Toph spoke up next to him.

Zuko turned to her, "That's what I just said!"

Iroh, sitting on my left made a thoughtful noise and I turned to him.

"You need to come with us," Zuko said.

"Even if I did defeat Ozai," Iroh said, "and I don't know that I could, it would be the wrong way to end the war. History would see it as just more senseless violence, a brother killing a brother to grab power. The only way for this war to end peacefully is for the Avatar to defeat the Fire Lord."

"And then..." Zuko pleaded, "then you would come and take your rightful place on the throne?"

"No. Someone new must take the throne." Iroh looked at his nephew "an idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko."

I was reminded of the vision the Masters had shown me.

"Unquestionable honor?" Zuko asked, his eyebrows raised, "but I've made so many mistakes."

"Yes, you have. You've struggled; you've suffered, but you have always followed your own path. You restored your own honor, and only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation."

"I... I'll try Uncle."

"Well..." Toph interjected, "What if Aang doesn't come back?"

"Sozin's Comet is arriving, and our destinies are upon us. Aang will face the Fire Lord. When I was a boy, I had a vision that I would one day take Ba Sing Se. Only now do I see that my destiny is to take it back from the Fire Nation, so the Earth Kingdom can be free again." Iroh said, a look of determination etched onto his features.

"That's why you gathered the members of the White Lotus," Suki said.

"Yes," Iroh nodded, "Zuko, you must return to the Fire Nation, so that when the Fire Lord falls, you can assume the throne and restore peace and order. But Azula will be there, waiting for you."

Zuko sneered, "I can handle Azula."

"Not alone," his uncle said, "you'll need help."

"You're right..." Zuko turned his eyes to me, "Nix? How would you like to take back the Fire Nation, and put Azula in her place?"

"You don't even have to ask," I smiled, giving him a firm nod.

"What about us?" Sokka spoke up, "What is our destiny today?"

"What do you think it is?" Iroh offered.

"I think..." Sokka paused for a moment, "even though we don't know where Aang is, we need to do everything we can to stop the airship fleet."

"And that means when Aang does face the Fire Lord, we'll be right there if he needs us," Toph said.

We wasted no time in preparing for the journey ahead of us. Sokka, Suki, Toph, and Katara sat astride two eel hounds talking with Piandao, who was giving them directions to the air fleet. I fire-boosted myself into Appa's saddle as Zuko sat at the reigns.

"So if I'm going to be Fire Lord after the war is over," Zuko said, "what are you going to do?"

Iroh smiled, "After I re-conquer Ba Sing Se, I'm going to re-conquer my tea shop, and I'm going to play Pai Sho every day."

"Goodbye, Iroh, and thank you," I said.

"You're welcome, and goodbye everyone. Today, destiny is our friend." he grinned, "I know it."

Zuko turned around and nodded to me, I nodded back and we were off, taking to the sky.

We flew until the sky turned orange and the clouds glowed red. I took my eyes off the scrolling landscape and glanced at Zuko. He looks anxious.

"Zuko, what's on your mind? Are you worried about Azula?"

"No, I'm worried about Aang. What if he doesn't have the guts to take out my father? What if he loses?"

"Aang won't lose, he'll come back, and Katara, Sokka, Suki, and Toph will all be there to back him up, and take out the air fleet."

Zuko locked eyes with me.

"We'll win this," I said, firm.

"Believe you, and I believe in us, but how are you so sure?"

Do I tell him?

"When I left Mokuxa to join the team, the Dragons had shown me a vision..."

"Right..."

I bit my lip, "It was of you and Aang standing before a crowd, and you were Fire Lord."

"I was Fire Lord?" He asked, looking away, processing.

"I'm not sure if I was supposed to tell you that but, that's why I first left, to ensure that future becomes reality."

"And if it does?"

"When it does," I corrected him, "I'll be here to support you, Fire Lord Zuko."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, nodding once before looking at me again, his expression strong and his golden eyes piercing.

The comet had already started it's burning path across the sky by the time we landed Appa in a secure location and rushed to the palace, where we would find Azula.

We had just rushed into the palace's front courtyard when we saw Azula, kneeling and a Fire Sage holding up the Fire Lord crown headpiece.

"By decree of Phoenix King Ozai,"

My heart stilled and ice flooded my body, I looked to Zuko, he glanced at me concerned and I tried to hide the way the words 'Phoenix King' made my skin crawl.

"I now crown you Fire Lord..." The Fire Sage froze, having spotted us.

"What are you waiting for? Do it!" Azula said, outraged.

"Sorry," Zuko spoke up, forcing his sister's attention to him, "but you're not going to become Fire Lord today," he stepped forward, "I am."

Azula laughed, "You're hilarious."

I took a step forward next to Zuko, "And you're going down."

Azula held up her hand, making the Fire Sage pause, "Wait. You want to be Fire Lord? Fine. Let's settle this. Just you and me, brother. The showdown that was always meant to be. Agni Kai!"

Zuko clenched his jaw, "You're on."

I turned to him, surprised, "Zuko, what are you doing? She trying to separate us, she knows two against one isn't a fair fight and she's trying to exploit you."

"I know," he said, not taking his eyes from his sister, "but I can take her this time."

"Uh, you were there when your uncle said you would need help, and you agreed need I remind you," I said, worry and anger knotting themselves together in my stomach.

He shook his head, "There's something off about her; I can't explain it but she's slipping. And this way," he looked me in the eyes "no one else has to get hurt."

I searched his eyes, and after a moment I nodded, "Ok," I placed a hand on his chest and let life fire ease it's way into his nervous system, " be careful."

"I will."

I pulled away and retreated to the side of the courtyard out of the way as the siblings took their positions on either side.

After a moment they turned and Azula pulled off her cape, "I'm sorry it has to end this way, brother."

"No, you're not," Zuko said.

Azula grinned something twisted and she staggered forward, before releasing a torent of blue flames. Zuko retaliated by spreading his arms, orange fire flaring behind him like wings, and he pushed them forward.

The two streams of flame met in the middle of the courtyard, rising in an inferno.

Azula didn't seem to be fighting with anger, as I expected her to, in fact, she was just as calm as Zuko. But her movements went beyond that, they were almost gleeful, to make the sickening smirk the lit up her face with each blast.

There was something very wrong with her.

Huge swaths of fire arched into buildings, over the sky, through streets bordering the courtyard. I had to move around to avoid several of the blasts, redirecting the fire around and away from me. I'm glad we found a place for Appa to hide.

Azula was starting to lose it, her steps erratic, her movements almost uncoordinated, I could see her breathing heavily even from the opposite corner of the arena.

Then I watched Zuko step into the last form of the dancing dragon, and two intertwining columns of flame launched across the courtyard.

Instead of blasting back, Azula flung herself out of the way, barely landing on her feet.

The fight continued, Azula using fire to blast herself across the ground, and Zuko held firm. They traded blasts back and forth until Zuko spun on the ground, bending a blade of fire that tripped Azula, sending her to the ground.

I took a few steps forward, he almost had her.

Azula pulled herself to her feet.

"No lightning today? What's the matter?" Zuko yelled, changing stances, "Afraid I'll redirect it?" he was egging her on.

"Oh, I'll show you lightning!" Azula said, starting to form blue electricity around her.

I watched Zuko take a deep breath, he has to be able to catch this, I know he can, but what if something happens?

Azula extended her fingertips to Zuko, before smirking slightly and turning them to me.

In the split second as Zuko turned to dive in front of the lightning something in me broke.

I can't redirect lightning, at least, I've never tried, and Zuko was going to redirect this, and he was going to get hurt. Azula is going to pay.

The bolt hit Zuko, his hand barely outstretched to receive it. He crumpled onto the ground, raising his opposite hand and pointing it to the sky where the lightning arched away. He convulsed on the ground, blue electricity crackling through his body.

I heard him groan in pain just as another bolt came towards me.

I blasted myself backward and looked at Azula, she was laughing, stumbling, and coming right towards me.

I dug my heel into the ground and ran a wide circle to the left, luring her attention away from Zuko.

He was right. She's falling apart.

She blasted another poorly aimed bolt of lightning towards me and I kept her moving, growing the distance between us and Zuko.

"Aren't you going to fight little Sun Warrior girl?" Azula sneered, shooting another blast of fire at me. This one got close, and I could feel it catch the end of my ponytail on fire. I smothered it and felt it fall out of its hair tie, but I can't let it through me off, not when I'm so close.

I didn't respond to Azula, but instead breathed, as I now had her right where I wanted her.

She blasted me again, but this time I jumped, fire underneath my feet and flipped my body over her blue flames.

I landed just a few feet from her and opened my mouth.

A purple blaze left with my breath, completely engulfing Azula.

I heard her scream.

Keeping my fire breath consistent I unfurled violet flaming wings behind me before beating them down on her and her cries of anguish intensified.

I could feel her whole body through the flames, every inch, every nerve. Her brain was broken, pathways completely cut off, some jumbled into others, it was complete chaos.

My fire died down, and my vision returned.

Azula lay on her back, not an ember on her.

By all physical appearances, she looked completely untouched.

Tears raced down her cheeks as she wept, shaking. "What are you?!" she screamed.

"Phoenix." I said, unclasping my armbands and using them to bind Azula's hands behind her back, linking the metal in on itself and soldering it with a flame. I half dragged her to a banister and pulled one of the metal chains around her hands, effectively tieing her to it.

Azula continued to cry out, sobbing, spewing blue fire across the stone of the courtyard, but otherwise, she lay there.

I ran to Zuko, who lay on his stomach, he was fighting to keep his eyes open.

I knelt by his side and turned him over, the lightning had burned through the front of his robe, and the skin on his abdomen.

It was an angry red diamond, and was fresh with blood. I looked up to the sky, the comet blazing its trail above, the sun setting on the horizon, and I lit a life fire in my hands and got to work.

Zuko grunted in pain as I drove the fried nerve ending back together. His body fought back, the electricity had done so much internal damage, especially in his stomach and around his heart.

I willed the fire to do something, anything, and just as I thought Zuko had stopped moving for good, his eyes opened, and he looked at me.

I stilled and he said, "Thank you, Phoenix."

My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes and I pulled him up into a hug. He grunted slightly, and I knew there was still work to be done on his injury, but holding him just felt so good.

Eventually, I helped him up and held him up as we walked closer to Azula.

For a while he didn't say anything, just watched her as she sobbed.

"What did you do to her? What was that purple fire?"

"I don't know," I admitted, "It's a form of life fire I think, but as I was bending it, all I could think about was how could she get to a this point? To try to kill her own brother, to revel in the murder of someone close to her, I just, wanted to heal that part of her."

He looked at me, both sad and shocked, "And did you?"

I sighed, "No."

He turned back to Azula, his body sagging slightly against mine.

"Just as I can't heal your scar, her head, on the inside or on some kind of spiritual level, has taken this version of herself and made it all that she is. There isn't much that I can do, the purple flames subdued her, but they can't heal her."

Zuko nodded, turning back to me before wrapping his arms around me again.

He was crying.

Chapter Text

"Hey, you ok?" I asked, walking across the room to Zuko who was struggling to put his robe on with his injuries.

"Nix," he said turning around, "yeah, sorry, you and Katara did a lot to help," He looked at me, seeming to read my mind, "and I know you're exhausted, you've both been healing people nonstop since the fighting ended last night."

His concern was touching. I smiled, "Here," and unwrapped his bandages to expose the still angry skin. I placed a hand over him, letting life fire burn away the pain. "You don't need to worry about me Zuko," I said, pulling my hand away. The skin was starting to scar but there was nothing I could do about that.

With a tentative hand, he placed it over the skin.

"How does it feel?" I asked.

"Better," he said with a smile, pulling me into a hug, "thank you."

"Of course, Zuko," I said, helping him re-wrap the bandages, "you're one of my closest friends, there isn't much I wouldn't do for you, especially now that you're being crowned Fire Lord. I have a suspicion things are going to get a little crazy for you around here." I helped him into his robe.

He laughed, "I think you're about right with that one, Nix."

"Well, are you ready for your coronation? You look nice."

"I hope so, and thank you, you do too. Why don't you let your hair down again?" he asked.

"Oh, well I'm a Sun Warrior, and it's kind of hard to fight with long hair in your face..." I said, glancing away.

"We're not fighting anymore," he said, quieter this time, placing one hand on my shoulder and the other reached to gently tug my hair out of its tie, letting it fall around my shoulders.

"How-" I swallowed, the words coming slowly, "how does it look?"

"Better," he whispered.

I opened my mouth to tease him (to hide the blush slowly creeping onto my cheeks), when another voice interrupted.

"Zuko."

I turned to see a girl standing in the doorway, she was fearsome looking with jet black hair and a slight scowl.

"Mai," Zuko said, jumping away from me and staring at her in disbelief.

"Um, hello," I said to her, trying to figure out what was going on (and not take Zuko's shock personally).

"Who's this?" She asked.

"Mai, I thought you were in prison, and also hated me," Zuko said, his brow furrowed.

"My uncle pulled some strings, now who are you?" she looked back at me.

"This is Phoenix, High Priestess of the Sun Warriors." Zuko said, stepping in front of me slightly, "Phoenix, this is Mai, my ex."

'Ex' seemed like a new word to Mai, like their breakup was somehow news to her.

"Right," I said. Everything Zuko had told me about her started to make sense. I stepped forward and looked back to Zuko, and in a whisper said, "Do you want me to stay?"

He narrowed his eyes barely at Mai over my shoulder and then shook his head.

"Ok, well, I'll leave you two to catch up," I briefly took Zuko's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before making my way to the doorway. He gave me a look like he was promising me something but I wasn't quite sure what it was.

"I'll see you in a bit," he said, his expression softening at me for a moment, to which I nodded and left the room.

Mai looked me over as I walked passed her which was a bit uncomfortable. Instead of trying to figure out what they had going on between them, I focused on finding my tribe in the crowd.

By the time we reunited and Itzel attacked me with a hug, people started cheering, and I looked up to see Zuko walking out, now donned in his Fire Lord robes.

"Please," he said, gesturing behind him, "the real hero."

Aang stepped forward and the crowd erupted even louder.

My heart swelled with pride as Zuko started, "Today, this war is finally over!"

Itzel next to me started cheering so loud I thought she might start crying. Of course, I wasn't entirely sure I wasn't going to cry either.

Zuko continued, "I promised my uncle that I would restore the honor of the fire nation, and I will. The road ahead of us is challenging. A hundred years of fighting has left the world scarred and divided, but with the Avatar's help, we can get it back on the right path," Zuko's scan of the crowd seemed to settle on me, a smile on his face, "And begin a new era of love, and peace."

The fire sage behind him approached with the Fire Lord crown headpiece. Zuko knelt and the fire sage lifted the crown piece "All hail Fire Lord Zuko!"

My vision clouded as tears slid down my cheeks. To think that just a few weeks ago he walked into Mokuxa without his bending, and now I couldn't be prouder as he's crowned Fire Lord.

Zuko and Aang stepped forward as the crowd roared. This was what I saw in my vision, this precise moment. My destiny is complete. All hail Fire Lord Zuko, all hail Avatar Aang.

* * *

Next to me, Iroh played the tsungi horn with beautiful sweeping melodic lines. I added a steady but rhythmic underline on my djembe, the drum resting between my knees. Zuko came by with fresh tea, and Iroh and I stopped playing to take the cups.

While his Uncle was certainly better at brewing, Zuko wasn't bad himself and I think I've actually grown quite fond of the drink.

Zuko passed cups to Suki and Katara who were playing a game of tiles as Sokka shouted, "Zuko stop moving, I'm trying to capture the moment! I wanted to do a painting so we always remember the good times together."

Katara walked over to the table he was at, "That's very thoughtful of you Sokka," she said before laying eyes on the painting.

I stood in curiosity and walked over to the table as well with the rest of the group.

"Wait," Katara said, "Why did you give me momo's ears?"

"Those are your hair loopies," he said.

Zuko came next to me and leaned down to the painting, "At least you don't look like a borkupine, my hairs not that spikey!" he said, which made it harder for me to hide my smile.

I took a closer look, "Why is my torso so long?" I asked, as the figure I assumed was supposed to be me had a disproportionately long torso, which may have been to fit my tattoos on, which were reduced to scribbles and a smiley face.

"And why did you paint me firebending?" Suki asked.

Sokka looked up at her, "I thought it looked more exciting that way."

Momo jumped onto the table and made chittering noises.

"Oh, you think you can do a better job Momo?" Sokka asked incredulously.

"I don't know Sokka, why not give the lemur a chance?" I asked, causing smiles across the table.

Iroh joined us, "Hey, my belly's not that big anymore, I really trimmed down."

"Well I think you all look perfect!" Toph said.

We laughed and I noticed Aang wasn't inside anymore, he'd gone out to Appa.

I made eye contact with Katara and gave her a smile while nodding to Aang.

She gave me a silent look of thanks and headed outside.

"What was that about?" Zuko asked me in a whisper.

"I think the lovebirds may finally take off," I said, making sure no one else overheard.

"Good for them," Zuko said, he then turned to me like he meant to say something but his uncle called out from across the room.

"We should go for a good old Appa ride before the celebration," I said, turning to the group "How about you go ask Aang and Katara?" I said to Sokka.

"Oh, good idea!" Sokka bounced out of his seat and headed outside.

"Good thinking Nix, now we can get rid of this thing," Zuko said, reaching for the 'painting'.

"I don't know," Suki interjected, "I think it's kind of sweet, maybe we should keep it for a little while."

"Yeah, maybe someday he'll get as good as Momo and paint a new one," I said, causing the table to laugh and the lemur in question to hitter happily.

* * *

We took to the skies to watch the fireworks, and they were stunning, I'd only ever seen them before at Zuko's coronation. So many different colors of fire... I wonder if I can recreate that with life fire.

I looked over to Zuko across from me, he seemed less appreciative of the dazzling display of pyrotechnics. He's probably thinking about his father again. He told me that a couple of days ago he went to see him. I tried to be supportive but the effort was taking a toll on me. His father has been on his mind ever since. And mine as well... Sometimes in my dreams I hear him calling himself Phoenix King...

I shivered suddenly, but it had nothing to do with the cold.

"Hey," Aang said, noticing Zuko's expression in the midst of the merriment, "turn the frown upside-down Mr. New Fire Lord Zuko, it's happy time!"

Zuko turned to Aang, his expression serious, "Aang, I visited my father in prison the other day..." he glanced to me and I gave him a nod, he turned back to Aang, "and I've been meaning to ask you a favor."

"Sure, anything."

"If you ever see me turning into my father, I want you to..." Zuko looked down so I leaned forward and took his hand, giving it a squeeze before letting it go. It was enough for him to look up, his expression steeled over, "I want you to end me."

"What?!" Aang asked bewildered, the volume in Appa's saddle died down as everyone was hearing their conversation.

"Even now, after everything that's happened, my family's legacy is still a part of me. That's why it's my duty to heal the scars the fire nation has left on the world. But the Fire Lord's throne comes with a lot of pressures, and if I'm honest with myself... I need a safety net. That's what I need you to be Aang; the safety net."

"Zuko," Aang said, "You're not your dad! And you're my friend! How can you expect me-"

Zuko cut him off, "As your friend, I'm asking you... If you ever see me go bad, end me. Promise me Aang."

Aang glanced to Katara, who gave him a firm look, the fireworks continued to boom.

"...Fine, I promise."

* * *

"Thank you for letting us stay in town for a few days," I said, walking in step with Zuko.

"It's my pleasure, really, my ancestors nearly destroyed everything your entire culture is built on, it's the least I can do to help out. I want to integrate the traditional fire bending values of your people with the rest of the nation, remind them of the true heart of fire. I think it's crucial to our growth from here, that and the Harmony Restoration project."

"Of course, that's very noble of you, boxito," I said, nudging him playfully.

A comfortable silence descended on us as we passed by the courtyard.

"Oh, I meant to ask sooner, but how were things with Mai last week at the coronation?"

He cringed, "Awkward at best."

"What did she want?"

"To get back together. I told her no of course, that I wanted to focus on my friends and being the Fire Lord, and I brought up the fact that we never really had a healthy relationship," he sighed, "I think she took it well, not great, but she didn't lash out at me... not that she's someone who lashes out."

"Mmh, and how do you feel about it?" I asked.

"Better," he said, giving me an honest smile.

"Good!" I said, motioning for him to elaborate.

"I feel like I've grown a lot, and showing her that was kind of therapeutic."

"That's great, Zuko, do you think you'll still be able to be friends with her?" I asked.

"Maybe," he said, "but not yet at least, I think we both need time."

"Yeah, that makes sense, and I'm glad you're feeling so good about the situation."

He smiled again, "Me too."

We kept walking, the hall of portraits passing by our left.

Did I want Zuko back together with Mai? Well of course not, but is it just because their relationship isn't healthy or is it something more? And why is my stomach so twisted up about it? I could really stand to talk to Katara about this, but she already left the city with Aang.

"So, how's Teo?" Zuko asked suddenly.

"Teo?" I inquired, "How should I know?"

"Well, at the coronation, didn't he ask you to come to the Northern Air Temple with him?"

"Sure, he just wanted my help with some project he's working on, thinks my Sun Warrior trap skills would help."

"And? Are you going?"

"No, of course not," I looked at him, "Why would you even ask?"

"Well, I just... I don't know," he rubbed the back of his neck absentmindedly, "it seems like you get along with him really well."

"I mean, yeah, but my place is here, at least for a while. My people even need me here, there's a lot to do for rebuilding our culture, and now with this Harmony Restoration Project. As good of friends Teo and I are, I can't just follow him to the Northern Air Temple, especially not for some random project," I was a little annoyed that Zuko seemed to have so little faith in me. I'd already discussed with him, at length, about my involvement with the future for the Sun Warriors and the Fire Nation.

"Right, of course." he looked away.

He was shutting down on me again.

I sighed, stopping in my tracks, forcing Zuko to stop and turn to me.

"Boxito, I'm sorry that came out wrong. I guess I'm just a little hurt that you would think I'd so easily leave when we've already planned for so much together, well not together, but, like," I sighed again, trying to ease my frustration, "you know what I mean."

He nodded, taking a step closer, "No, I'm sorry, I guess I was just getting insecure, and I know you've already sworn yourself to this life leading your people and you wouldn't just leave, but I guess with everyone lately going off and starting their new lives, I was just worried that you would leave me too, and I'd have no one."

I pulled him into a hug, "Zuko, I know exactly how you feel. You're home again, and you're in your rightful place as Fire Lord, but it doesn't feel the way you thought it would feel, because your friends became your family. My people are here with me, and I should feel like a High Priestess again, but all I do feel right now is how much I miss the team."

His arms grew tighter around me.

* * *

"High Priestess, you can't seriously be considering this!" Elder Cienega said, slamming his fist to the table.

"Cienega watch yourself," Elder Kache snapped, "The Masters gave the Priestess jurisdiction of the situation, you should be lucky she even wanted our opinions."

The arguing halted and I gave a nod to Kache in thanks. We'd been discussing for hours about the status of the dragons, to reveal ourselves and them to the public, with Zuko's support, or to stay hidden. Personally I was all for publicizing ourselves, it would bring in trade, stimulate our economy, start the refurbishing processes, and if the dragons are legally protected by the Fire Lord, I think we all stand a good chance of this going well. But the romantic in me wanted to let my tribe have a voice or the elders at least. But per usual, Cienega was being difficult.

"I'm just saying," Cienega grit his teeth, "Maybe the Priestess would do well with a little more experience to help influence her decision, perhaps now is not the time."

"You're questioning the Masters?!" Ajeno, the representative of the warriors, asked, outraged.

"No! Just suggesting that maybe the High Priestess herself is a little young to make the most informed decision about this very delicate situation."

"Would you say the same about me?"

I looked up from the angry notes I was taking to spot Zuko, he had slipped into the room.

"Fire Lord, please excuse him he meant you no disrespect," Elder Edrijo said, trying to amend the fight.

"I know that much, but it seems he disrespected Phoenix which I cannot tolerate in my own palace."

I let out a long-suffering sigh and managed to catch Zuko's eye, nodding for him to sit down and be quiet.

Cienega scoffed, "Oh so now I'm being lectured by a teenager who doesn't even know our ways, our customs?"

Itzel spoke up this time, "Cienega, you old man, you've managed to offend two incredibly powerful people with your conservative strong-arm, just shut up and let the rest of us do something productive and good for our people."

Cienega stood and planted his foot, locking eyes with me, "Your mother would have never betrayed the Masters like this.

The room went completely silent, Itzel next to me even gasped.

I slowly stood, steeling over my expression. What he just did was possibly one of the most disrespectful things imaginable, to mention the previous Phoenix, the previous me, like this? That was beyond taboo, that was almost unforgivable, and I saw his anger and determination waver as he realized what he said.

Not that any of the other elders would dream of doubting me, but I had to retaliate accordingly, the unspoken law demanded it.

"Cienega," I breathed, searching the old man's face, he knew what was coming, "You're hereby stripped of your duties as Elder and leader and I condemn you from your home. You may now reside in the farms or excommunicate yourself from the tribe and face death alone."

His jaw clenched and he nodded, forcing himself to bow and turning from the room.

Seconds of silence passed before I sat back down.

"Itzel."

She looked up at me.

"In light of recent events, I would like to ask you to serve as Elder of your people."

"High Priestess, I... I would be honored," she smiled brightly, dipping her head in a bow, and I could have sworn her eyes were wet.

"We'll make it official with the ceremony tomorrow at sunrise, but for now we have important business to discuss," I said, turning back to the table.

* * *

"So what exactly happened in there?" Zuko asked. We were walking to the Fire Temple where the Fire Sages kept the deep history of the fire nation. Zuko wanted to give me a tour and hopefully, we would find some things that might help both of our cultures adapt to this new world we were building.

"Well, Cienega has never been my biggest fan, but he had mentioned my mother, which is very taboo, slander even, especially in the context he used. He can disagree and argue all he wants, but he crossed a line. Ancient customs require that he lose his position, and so he did."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Zuko said, "But we've spoken about your mother before, is that not allowed?"

"Well, you're not a Sun Warrior, you aren't held under our laws. I consider you my equal, and what is conversation between friends? But Cienega has sworn his allegiance to me, Phoenix, in our ways, for all intents and purposes, I am my mother. It's my religious right. He spoke of her as if I was less than she, invalidating my existence. Hence, slander."

We were arriving through the front gate of the temple grounds.

Zuko nodded, "I see, well, if there's anything I can do..."

I smiled, "I have it under control, but thank you,"

"Of course."

"Ah, Fire Lord, High Priestess," one of the Fire Sages approached us bowing, "It's our pleasure to welcome you to the Capital City's Fire Temple."

"Good to see you, Nix this is the High Sage Keone," Zuko said.

"Nice to meet you," I said.

"Please High Priestess, the honor is mine," He bowed again.

"Have you collected all the relevant tomes from the catacombs?" Zuko asked.

"Of course, my Lord, we have them waiting for you as you requested, just this way," He turned and beckoned us across the pavilion.

As we walked closer to the center of the courtyard where a large emblem lay in the ground, I could feel... something. It was like fear, but I knew logically I had nothing to be scared of.

We stopped by the emblem and the Sage firebended into it, causing it to spin and reveal a descending staircase.

I followed behind Zuko, the fear growing stronger, and this time, accompanied by a small sense of pain, like a dagger that strikes you in your stomach but you don't notice it yet, you don't quite feel it yet.

What's happening to me?

As we reached the bottom of the staircase I heard Keone say, "Here we are, the Dragonbone Catacombs."

My breath caught in my chest as the hallway came into view, lined with dozens of Dragon skulls as far down the tunnel as I could see.

As soon as my eyes had locked onto it, it felt like my soul was trying to rip itself from my body, to escape.

Then it felt like I was flying, and when I opened my eyes again everything was white.

"Hello?" I asked into the emptiness.

"Phoenix, my dear," said a voice from far away.

I tried opening my eyes again and they blinked away the white, and I realized I was looking at a lake, full of iridescent water.

I looked around, the sky was clouded with blue fog and the ground around me felt dusty and cold. I stood and tried to bend a bit of fire into my hands, but none appeared.

A sense of panic filled me as I tried firebending again, and again, nothing happening.

I turned around frantically, trying to figure out where I was when I saw that a stream of golden light connected my chest to a point far in the distance.

I got the sense that whatever was happening I needed to follow it.

It led me past thin trees, large rocks, and strange structures, and after seeing a few uncanny creatures float by, I realized this must be the spirit world.

I came upon a wide rock spire, the light leading me into it, so I climbed.

Through the opening I saw a huge beast with glowing white scales. It turned it's head around to look at me and I knew it was her, the sun spirit.

"Phoenix," It was her, the voice that spoke before.

Somehow the right word came to my tongue, "Xie."

At the word the light beam connecting us dissipated and the dragon smiled, bowing her head.

"I've been waiting for you for so long."

"I... I'm sorry to keep you waiting," I said, taking a tentative step closer to her.

"When we first made our deal, I knew that eventually my children in the other world would be hunted and slaughtered, I hope you can forgive me for needing you to stay to protect them, but you can come home now, they are safe now."

"Come home? Xie my home is in the real world, with my people."

She lowered her head to look me in the eye, "Your home is with me, it always has been, do you... wish to live out this last cycle before joining me?"

I nodded slowly, "I hope you don't mind, but, I don't think I'm ready yet, I don't even know how I got here..."

She circled her head around me sniffing the air, "Yes, you've been to the resting place. Phoenix I will give you the rest of this lifetime to get your affairs in order, but when I call on you again, you will come back to me."

Xie bowed her head in front of me and my heart swelled with something old, ancient, something I had forgotten.

Tears threatened to spill as I placed my arms around her neck in an embrace. She puffed smoke from her nostrils affectionately.

"Xie, how do I get back?"

"It seems you have a friend on his way, he'll be here shortly," she said, lifting herself back up.

"A friend? Is it Zuko? Did he follow me into the spirit world?" I asked, trying to recall if I felt Zuko cross over at the same time I did.

Her eyes twinkled just as a voice called out behind me.

"Nix!" I turned around to see Aang running into the spire.

"Aang! How did you find me?"

"I uh..." he trailed off, spotting Xie towering behind me, "Um, hello, who are you?"

Xie chuckled, "I haven't seen an avatar in millenia, but I think you can make a guess young one."

"The sun spirit," he said almost breathless, bowing before her.

"Nix, everyone is worried about you, I've come to lead you home."

I turned around to give one more look to Xie, she nodded.

"Let's go then," and I followed him out, the warmth that had filled my chest disipating as my distance from Xie grew.

"How did you get here so fast? I've only been gone for half an hour," I said, as we came upon an archway I had never seen before.

"Half an hour?" Aang asked, "It's been almost three days, Nix."

"Three days?! But that's impossible!"

He shrugged, "The spirit world works in mysterious ways, and I'm sure a spirit as old and powerful as the Sun does too."

"Right..."

Three days? First of all how embarrassing, to think I collapsed in front of Zuko and then have been unconscious for three days. I shuddered from the mortification. Second of all, what have I missed? There's so much I need to catch up on.

We came to a platform with an archway over it, and Aang stood on it, his skin growing translucent. He held out a hand and I took it. As soon as I did I opened my eyes to my room in the Fire Nation Palace.

I quickly sat up to gather my bearings, but before I could I was attacked from both sides in a hug, Katara on my left and Zuko on my right.

"Hey guys," I laughed, unable to move with my arms pinned.

Aang stood from his meditative position across the room as my friends pulled away.

"I'm so glad you're ok, I was so worried- I mean, we were all so worried," Zuko said, tripping over his words slightly.

I smiled at his cute blush-I mean- uh...

"What did the Sun spirit want?" Aang asked, joining us on the other side of the room.

"The sun spirit?!" Zuko asked startled slightly.

"You met the sun spirit?" Katara asked.

I nodded, "Yeah she, she wanted me to stay with her, or rather go back to her? I guess she knew that the dragons, the manifestation of her spirit in our world, were in danger, which is why she brought the first me back to life in the first place, to protect them. And now that the danger is gone, she wants me to stay in the spirit world."

"But, you came back," Katara said.

"I told her I wasn't ready... she let me come back but told me that this will be my last lifetime... So I'll die, properly this time."

"Die?" Zuko muttered, his hand reaching for mine.

I took it, trying to laugh lightly to difuse the tension in his shoulders, "Eventually yeah, I don't plan on doing it any time soon though."

"Right, yeah..."

I gave Zuko's hand a squeeze before pulling away, "So I was out for three days? What exactly happened?"

"We went into the... dragonbone catacombs-"

"Wait, you took the dragon priestess into a mass dragon grave? Zuko, how stupid are you?" Katara asked.

"I know, I know," he cringed, "I wasn't thinking, if I had just thought about it for a minute you wouldn't have gone in and collapsed and none of this would have happened," he sighed, "I'm an idiot and I'm so sorry I took you there."

"It's ok, I'm kind of glad you did... I think I want to go back someday, and bring the bones to a final resting place where they can be laid with honor."

Zuko nodded, solemn. The air grew thick with awkwardness so I changed the subject, "So when I was in the spirit world, did my eyes get all glowy like Aangs?"

"No, you just collapsed, and you were kind of shaking for a while, I thought you were dead so I used this," he pulled the amulet I gave him from under his robes, the small life fire I'd put in it gone, "But it didn't work so I sent a hawk to Katara and Aang," he nodded to them, "and when they arrived earlier Aang sensed you were in the spirit world."

"Well thank you," I said to Aang and Katara whist reaching to put a new life fire flame in the empty amulet, "I don't know how I could have left without your help."

"It's always my pleasure, and I got to meet the Sun, the first Avatar to do so in millennia," Aang smiled in a way that reminded me of how young he was.

"Well I think we should give Nix some space, I'm sure she's exhausted," Katara said, nodding not to subtly to the boys.

"Right-"

"Sure thing-"

They both quickly found their way from my room and Katara turned to me, "You know, Zuko was really worried about you."

"He was?" I asked, feeling my stomach flip.

She nodded, "Maybe it wouldn't hurt to tell him he's the reason you came back," she winked.

"Hey!" I crossed my arms, "He's not the only reason, come on, Katara, I have other things in life that I want to accomplish than letting myself fall for the first boy I met outside of my tribe."

"Ok, ok," she held her hands up in mock surrender, "regardless, I hope you can get some rest, we've been subjected to some of the palace rumors and it sounds like you're constantly busy running an independent civilization remotely, you deserve a little bit of time off."

I smiled, "Thanks Katara, really."

She returned the smile and excused herself from my room, closing the door softly.

I'm the last Phoenix... What in the world am I supposed to do now?

Chapter Text

"You know Itzel, I've been thinking," I said, nodding to the guards we passed as we walked through the palace gardens.

"Oh?"

"We should have your elder ceremony in Mokuxa."

"Really?!" she asked, turning to me with excitement.

"Yeah, I mean, we've already had to delay it thanks to my untimely spirit world adventure, and since Zuko and I are opening up the city to the rest of the world soon, we'll have to be in Mokuxa anyway."

"So it's 'Zuko and I' now?" She said, nudging me with her shoulder.

I rolled my eyes, trying to hide my blush, "You know what I mean, Itzel." I said.

"Well I'm glad we're going back to Mokuxa, I miss home, and I know you do too, but you have to know Phoenix, they expect you to return for good."

"I know," I sighed, "But there really is more keeping me here, assisting with the Harmony Restoration Project, Figureing out the diplomatic relationship between the Fire Nation and the Sun Warriors, and making sure we don't get screwed over, not that I think Zuko would do so personally, but he's not perfect and something could slip through. Also, I haven't told anyone about this yet, but when we battled Azula, I used a new kind of fire..."

"A new kind of fire?"

I nodded, "It was purple, and it was kind of like life fire, except it didn't heal her physically, it was like it was reaching into her mind... I think it, helped her. But I haven't tried creating it again, I'm still not sure what it is or what it can do, but if it could help to heal psychological illness..."

Itzel sighed, "All noble things, but Phoenix the people will say that you should appoint an ambassador, and you can do all the research you want in Mokuxa, you'd even be closer to the Masters. As your oldest friend, I want you to be able to live whereever you want and do whatever you want, but you should be prepared for backlash."

I nodded but didn't say anything, couldn't think of anything to say.

"Are you going to tell them about the Sun spirit?"

"I'm not sure yet," I said truthfully.

"Well, I think some may question your right to rule if you're the end of the Phoenixes and you don't even live in the city you govern. The people may demand a new government, and a new leader."

"You think so?"

"I think Cienega will think so, and even though he's been stripped of his title, he can still talk, and people can still listen, a rebellion could rise against you."

"But I have the spiritual right to rule."

"You do, and I know many will stay loyal to you, but you have to be prepared for how all of your actions will be perceived by the people."

I groaned, "I know its selfish but I've spent my whole life in our ruined city with a dying people, I want to explore the world and meet new faces and see new things. I've read countless journals of my predecessors, read of their stagnant lives and meaningless ramblings. I want more than that. I'm a mortal woman Itzel, no more rebirth cycles. I want to make this last one count."

She nodded.

"We'll think of a long term solution, but for now, what if I left you in my place as like a regent, you're an Elder now anyway and you've been my right hand for years. It will be similar to how the Elders handle themselves every time I'm at the beginning of a cycle and am a newborn up to my 13th birthday, so it's not like it's never been done."

"You mean you want me to stay in Mokuxa and be like, interim leader? Without you?"

"Yeah, is that ok with you?" I asked, giving her look of shock a smile.

"Um-yeah, I mean-if you think I'm qualified."

"Yes I think you're definitely qualified, no one knows me better than you do, Itzel, besides, you taught me everything I know."

She grinned, "That's true at least."

"And it's not like I'll never see you, I'll come to visit often, and we'll have to send letters back and forth all the time-"

"And maybe I'll come visit you too and you could treat me to some of the palace luxuries," as she said 'luxuries' she nodded to one of the guards across the clearing, he was probably in his early 20s, so around Itzel's age.

I laughed, "What happened to Rojelio?"

She shrugged, "It just wasn't working out, so I'm back on the market."

"Well good luck getting a Fire Nation boy to notice you, I've found leadership positions here tend to be male dominated, so far to the point that there hasn't been a female Fire Lord before. They may be intimidated by your political power."

"That may be, but you seem to be doing just fine."

"Itzel!" I said, swatting at her.

"Oh, Phoenix, you should have seen him when you were unconscious. He looked awful, I'm not even sure that he slept at all, constantly going in to check on you, walking by your room, it was exhausting just watching him."

"He... really?"

She nodded with a smile.

"Well, he was probably just worried that I wouldn't wake up, since the Sun Warriors would definitely blame him for anything bad happening to me and might retaliate."

"That's not the fun way of thinking about it," Itzel said pouting slightly.

"It's realistic though," I said with a shrug.

* * *

"So, are you ready to see the city again?" I asked, stepping up next to the Fire Lord as he looked out across the water to the towering crags surrounding the city of Mokuxa. The sun was beginning to set.

"I just hope they'll receive the reopening well... especially with how Cienega reacted."

"Don't worry about that, Cienega has always been sort of a divergent opinionist, the rest of the people I expect will be excited to finally have something to pull them from monotony."

"I hope so," Zuko said just as one of the ship hands approached with a bow.

"Fire Lord, High Priestess,"

Zuko nodded for him to carry on.

"We'll be docking in about 20 minutes, shall we prepare the palanquins?"

"Whats a palanquin?" I asked, glancing at Zuko.

He looked at me like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have and quickly said "No, no, we won't be needing those, I arranged for eel hounds for the Priestess and I to reach the city."

Zuko's voice was weirdly stern.

The ship hand nodded furiously and turned around, presumedly to round the aforementioned eel hounds.

"What was that about?" I asked, laughing lightly to try to ease the tension in Zuko's posture.

"A, uh, palanquin is something my father was quite the fan of..."

"And what is it?" I asked.

"Well... it's basically a really decorative box with a throne in it and its uh, carried by servants from place to place. It was my father's favorite form of transportation."

"Sounds, uh... like something the Phoenix King would endorse."

Zuko cringed slightly.

"I'm assuming the servants still have jobs elsewhere in the palace?" I asked.

"Oh um... I don't know actually..."

I nodded silently.

I know Zuko is an idealist and a progressive and is really trying to lead his people to a better future, but sometimes I forget how little actual experience he has with government.

"Zuko..."

He looked at me.

"I don't mean to pry, and you can tell me to mind my own business if you want, but can I ask, how much did your father teach you about actually governing a country?"

Zuko let out a sarcastic laugh, turning to put his hands on the railing, looking out over the water. "The first war meeting I attended, my father wanted to use a squadron of new recruits as bait. They would all die. They were young and loved their country and they were pawns for sacrifice to him. So I spoke up, out of turn, trying to reason with him against his plan."

Zuko glanced down, "He had me fight him in an Agni Kai."

I couldn't hold back a gasp. An Agni Kai? "How old...?"

"I was 13. I refused to fight my own father, I begged him, I apologized. He told me to fight. I didn't. So, he gave me my scar, and sent me into exile."

My blood began to boil. For a father to- to disfigure his son? In the name of his pride, his honor? Aang shouldn't have shown him mercy.

Zuko called out my name and reached to place a hand on my arm. As soon as his fingers made contact he hissed and pulled his hand away, the action jolted me from my thoughts.

"You're burning up, literally," Zuko said, looking to my arm.

"I'm what?" I asked, looking down to my skin. It looked normal, and felt normal, but before either of us could say anything, I heard the start of a drum beat.

My attention was pulled over as I saw the elders and some of the other tribe members who came to the Fire Nation Capital had set up a drum circle, singing a homecoming chant.

I turned to Zuko, "We're not done talking about this ok?"

He held his hands up in mock surrender, following after me as I walked to join the drum circle, trying to put on a reassuring smile for Itzel who looked at me with slight worry.

I hovered on the outside clapping along with those without a drum as a few benders did the dancing dragon in the middle before doing some of the dances for homecoming and victory.

Despite the fact that I've only gotten to be in a homecoming drum circle once, and was partially ecstatic to be in one again, my mind was riddled with the image of a 13 year-old Zuko being burned by his father.

I glanced around and realized this must be pretty odd to the Fire Nation people on the ship as they all looked in with curious looks.

Zuko stood next to me watching, the angst and pain seemed to have left his system for the time being, which is something at least.

Then Elder Akna pulled out an ocarina, of which she is a master of, and she started playing, the harmonies filling the air and soaring above the singing.

The energy of the music grew as we docked, and then my tribe all stood, carying their drums and each other's drums as we disembarked, still playing away.

Zuko nodded to the security guards and eel hounds waiting for us and I relented, mounting mine and holding my hand out for Akna, who got on behind me without missing a beat, her playing rising above the group.

We marched through the city and I found myself laughing, Itzel was really getting into it, and she has a beautiful voice, but at the same time Zuko rode next to me with a bit of an awkward look on his face as he saw the procession gain more members as we passed people in the crumbling streets.

By the time we reached the city center the entire tribe had been accumulated, and everyone was dancing and singing and playing, fires dancing around, lighting up the area as the sun had fallen behind the mountains.

Itzel pulled me down from the eel hound and into the middle of the circle, pulling me along to one of her favorite dances which I knew by heart of course, Itzel had once forced me to memorize it.

The dance, called the skyward serpent, traditionally called for firebending, and Itzel was a non-bender, so I started a flame in formation and split it to twirl on both sides, suplimenting her part for her. I could feel the energy rising in the crowd as Itzel and I flew through the air, the tempo accelerating just barely.

We finally landed with a pound into the final position and I released the twin fire snakes above us, exploding the the air into red fire works, a trick I had been practicing after seeing fireworks at Zuko's coronation.

My people erupted with cheering around me and one of the other Elders approached me with a bow, bearing my ceremonial robes which I gladly accepted and slipped into.

I was flooded with happiness as I ascending the stairs of the temple about halfway and turned to face the crowd.

"My people!" I shouted, the volume dropping instantly, "I've returned with your newest Elder, Itzel daughter of Jorge and Elona," cheering blossomed around Itzel as the people near her bowed. "We will honor her at sunrise, but until then let us honor our guest, the Fire Lord, with a feast!"

The people cheered again and all made their ways to the Warrior's hall.

Zuko, surrounded by his guards, waited for me at the bottom of the steps.

"So, what do you think so far?" I asked, slightly breathless.

"It's much more lively than the last time I was here," he said with a smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well, we have something to celebrate now. Itzel's new position, my return, the first actual outsiders for the first time in who knows how long, and we have a new opportunity to be a part of this new world. We can rebuild, regrow, revitalize. You're giving my people something they've never had before."

"No, you're giving it to them, you've been sitting in more meeting with Fire Nation officials than I have these passed few days."

"Have I really?" I asked with a laugh.

"Yeah... Nix, you're a natural leader," there was a small hint of sadness to his tone.

"Oh, thank you, but I only have one city to lead, you have a whole country, and you're new to this, give yourself some credit."

He looked at me like it wasn't totally obvious that he felt inadequate in comparison to me and that I totally wouldn't be able to pick up on it.

"Look, tonight Zuko, just relax, eat, laugh, meet new people, then get some sleep, we can talk all you want after Itzel's ceremony in the morning."

"Right, of course."

We turned into the building and the delightful smell of traditional Mokuxa cooking filled my senses. Oh how I had missed the spices, the peppers, and by the dragons the corn, I didn't think I could miss corn so much.

Before I could even decide where to get started Itzel rushed over to us, her mouth half full, "Phoenix! Rosa made her red chile tamales!"

"She did!?" I asked, looking around her to spot Rosa.

"Come on or they'll be gone,"

I followed Itzel, grabbing Zuko's arm and pulling him behind me.

"What's a tamale?" he asked.

I laughed, "It's like a steamed corn and chile gift from the dragons, oh it's so good, you have to try one. Rosa is kind of an older woman who could never have children and took it upon herself to essentially take care of everyone in the city by her culinary expertise, and my favorite thing she made for me as a kid were her red chile tamales."

Zuko made a sound of acknowledgment as we shuffled through the crowd until I spotted the short woman.

"Rosa!"

"Ah Priestess, it's so wonderful to see you home!" she pulled me into a crushing hug, "Ah and Fire Lord, it's a pleasure to have you in our city," she said giving Zuko a bow.

"It's a pleasure to be here," he said, bowing back.

"Rosa are there any of your red chile tamales left?" I asked, peering around her to the table.

"I saved some just for you my dear," she said with a smile, pulling them from under a cloth.

I took the two she handed to me and gave one to Zuko, who held it uncertain.

I laughed slightly and nudged him, "You unwrap it from the corn husk and discard it," I nodded to the pile of husks on the table, "then you eat it like a burrito." I said, slipping mine out of the husk.

"Uh, what's a burrito?" he asked.

Rosa made a sound of astonishment while Itzel and I laughed.

"Don't worry you'll have a taste of everything before the night ends," I said watching him take off the corn husk on his tamale.

I happily engulfed mine, savoring the delightfully spicy chile recipe that Rosa kept a secret and watched Zuko bite into his.

"What do you think?" Itzel asked having finished hers.

He smiled, "It's spicier than I imagined but I like it," he said.

"Good, now lets find some chorizo next," I said, taking his arm again and thanking Rosa profusely before going back into the crowd of people milling around between tables and trying foods.

I wasn't sure if he was lying or not but Zuko seemed to like nearly everything I forced him to try, and he seemed to be enjoying himself.

I was nearly going to burst as we stopped at practically every table, but then the flan arrived.

Itzel weaved her way through the crowd to us balancing three trays of flan on her arms.

"Don't worry I got us good ones," she said.

I laughed and gladly accepted mine.

"So what's this?" Zuko asked.

"This is flan, it's a very traditional dessert, made from a kind of custard, caramel, which is made from slow heated sugar, and vanilla, which is extracted from a flower that grows up the mountains."

I took a bite of mine and turned as I heard a sound from Zuko.

"Oh wow! How have I never tasted vanilla before? This is amazing!"

I laughed lightly, "I'm glad you like it, let's go meet Chaya and Ferro, they farm the vanilla, among other things."

I led him through the crowd to the source of the flan.

"Chaya, Ferro, how are you?"

"Ah Priestess! It's so good to see you, we couldn't be happier that you're back!" Chaya said.

How is the vanilla coming this year? The Fire Lord is quite the fan." I said.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Zuko throw me a look but I didn't pay him any mind.

"It's going well! And as much as I'm glad to have the extra hands, Cienega is quite a bit to handle."

"Is he causing you trouble? should I speak with him?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing we can't get under control. Braiding the beans normally gets him quite and lets the rest of us work in peace." Chaya said.

I nodded.

"Braiding the breans?" Zuko asked curiously.

"Yes, Vanilla beans are taken from the plant and then slowly braided and set in the sun to bring out the flavor and cure, it's much more labor intensive than it sounds, but clearly the result is something special." Ferro said.

Zuko looked down to his last bite of flan, "It really is... I'm sure the High Priestess will elaborate further, but with talk of opening up the city, I think a market for this incredibly fine spice could pop up quickly and help stimulate the economy in Mokuxa, and thus opening up your farm to new buyers and workers. Is that something you'd be interested in?"

"Well," Chaya looked to her husband, "we'd certainly be open to it, but our main priority is keeping the Sun Warrior tradition alive. In Mokuxa you do things the right way and the long way or you don't do them at all."

"Of course, cultural preservation is the first and foremost of my goals as well."

Chaya and Ferro looked Zuko over, "It's about time the Fire Nation got someone with a decent head in charge, but don't forget," Ferro said, "the High Priestess has the power of the dragons within her every breath, it would not be hard for her to defend her people."

"Oh I have no doubt, in fact I count on it." Zuko said.

The couple smiled at him satisfied and turned to enjoy the dwindling feast elsewhere.

I looked at Zuko who looked back at me now slightly worried, "Sorry, was I not supposed to say that?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Zuko, you can say whatever you want, you're my guest. I'm just glad to see you, I don't know, being Fire Lord."

He nodded slowly.

"Well I think it's about time for us to wrap up the night, I don't know about you two but I'm full," Itzel said cutting into the conversation.

"Here, I can show you to where you'll be staying," I said nodding towards the exit from the Warrior's hall.

Zuko and I left, followed closely by his guards, and we made our way to the left of the temple, where my house stands in a corner of the walls.

"This is one of the most protected areas in the city, it's easy to guard and hard to get to." I said nodding to the small building, "it's also not completely falling apart," I added with a laugh.

Zuko smiled, "Thanks."

"I expect you at the eternal flame at sunrise, you need to be there for Itzel's ceremony," I said, turning to head back towards the temple.

"Nix, wait," he grabbed my arm.

I paused looking at him expectantly, "Yeah?"

"Um, sorry nevermind."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah, sorry," he turned towards my house and started heading in.

If I wasn't so tired I would have gone after him, but my feet carried me towards the temple instead. I boosted myself up the walls onto the top balcony and from there climbed to the roof.

I used to sleep up here a lot whenever I felt daunted. My sleeping roll is even still laying across the stone.

I smiled, breathing in the fresh air and pulled my ceremonial robes off. Then unclipping my gorget, I set the golden armor piece next to the bangles that soon came off as well.

I plopped onto the sleeping roll and pulled the tie from my hair, letting it splay itself on the stone around me.

With a deep breath I looked up to the tiny suns, just the same as they've always been.

I let my thoughts drift, to the city, the occasional voice that carried from the street as people turned in from the feast. To be back home felt so... weird.

I thought I would finally feel like normal again but I don't. Seeing my people makes me happy, and I certainly missed them, but I also feel like I'm not the Phoenix I was when I left.

I closed my eyes, trying not to focus on the thoughts in my head but instead the sounds of the night around me, like a forgotten lullaby trying to cradle me to sleep.

Then I heard footsteps against stone, it sounded much closer than the street and after a moment I opened my eyes and turned towards the sound to see a pair of hands grip the ledge to the roof.

As silently as I could I lept to my feet, the adrenaline pounding its way through my blood.

A shadowed figure pulled itself up and lifted its face to the darkness, two yellow eyes squinting at me.

"Zuko," I exhaled, "you really had me worried there, some warning next time would be nice,"

He stood, dusting the dirt from his robe, "Sorry, I didn't know if you were already asleep and I didn't want to risk waking you," his eyes traveled to the half open sleep roll on the stone in between us.

"Why aren't you asleep?" I asked, bringing his eyes back to me.

He pulled a journal from inside his robes, I recognized the doodles on the front, it was the one I was writing in before leaving Mokuxa. Itzel must not have hidden it well.

"You have a lovely home," he said, something underneath his tone that I couldn't quite decipher.

"Um, thank you?" why do I feel like I'm being berated?

"How did you find me up here?" I asked after a moment.

He held up the journal again.

"How much did you read?" I asked, suddenly uncomfortable with the thought of Zuko indulging in my private ramblings.

"Only as far as the first page, where you mentioned sleeping up here to watch the tiny suns."

I nodded.

"So were you just going to tough it out on top of a building all night while I intruded on your home?"

The sudden image of Zuko in my house, even... in my bed, forced a heavy blush to cover my skin and I thanked the cover of darkness.

"It's not a big deal, there isn't really any luxurious places for the Fire Lord to stay in Mokuxa, not yet at least, and I was actually looking forward to sleeping up here under the tiny suns."

"Nix," he said, closing the distance between us, "did you forget that I've been a refugee for the past year? You camped with me-with us, for long enough you should know that I don't care about any of that, or need it... I'll stay up here with you tonight."

"Um- but- what about your guards, they'll see you're missing- and then what if someone sees us and, they- um-"

"Nix, relax," Zuko chuckled, "it will be like old times, and you can tell me more about the tiny suns."

"Well... I guess- if you're sure you want to stay out here all night, you made it seem like it was such a crime like a minute ago," I said, managing to regain my composure.

"Well, buddy system," he said turning to the ledge again, "I'm going to get a blanket or something, you make a fire, I'll be back in just a minute."

"Um, ok?" I said, watching him silently slip off the roof.

I pulled my stuff closer to the middle of the temple roof where a fire would be less noticeable and found a few twigs scattered about, left by birds. After making a small life fire, so it wouldn't burn out, and arranging my sleeping roll for optimal star gazing, Zuko returned with one of the blankets from my bed.

I sat down while he laid the blanket out next to me, unceremoniously flopping onto his back, which must not have been super comfortable since it was still stone and my blanket was pretty thin, as is most of the cloth in Mokuxa (no reason for it to be thick anyway).

I laid back, looking up to the tiny suns with him, not sure how to break the silence until he did it for me.

"Are the stars important to the Sun Warriors?"

"Important? Well, boxito, they are the souls of dead dragons, so yeah pretty important," I said with a smile.

"Sorry, of course, I just meant like, how your tattoos tell stories, is there a kind of significance with the stars too?"

"Yeah, is it not for the Fire Nation? Do you not have constellations?"

"We do, but it wasn't something that was ever important when we were learning from the tutors growing up."

"That may be more of a wartime-country-being-led-by-a-tyrant kind of a thing."

He hummed, "I suppose so."

"Have you thought of what changes you might instate for the education system in the Fire Nation?"

"Yeah, I actually had a long conversation with Aang about it a few weeks ago, during the war he had gone undercover in a Fire Nation town and even attended a school."

"Sounds like something reckless Aang would do," I said with a smile.

"Yeah. But I have given it a lot of thought, and I've started on a plan for that with some of my advisors but I wanted your input too."

"Like what?"

Cloth russled next to me as Zuko shrugged his shoulders, "Teach me about the stars."

"Teach you about the stars?"

"Yeah," he said turning his head to look at me.

I glanced over and made eye contact briefly before returning my gaze to the stars.

"Well, do you see those three suns right above us at zenith?"

"Zenith?" he asked.

"Yeah, zenith is just referring to the point directly above you, and right now at zenith is a little triangle of three stars, do you see them?"

"I think so yeah."

"Those are the beak of the hawk, a very important constellation. It tells the story of a man named Kache, Elder Kache was named after him actually. But in the story he was a fierce warrior, and protector of the dragons. There was a mother dragon who he was sworn to protect which back then wasn't that uncommon since after a dragon lays an egg they go into a sort of hibernation. So Kache laid guard outside of the dragon's cave every day for two years while the dragon slept with her egg. On the night the dragonette was set to hatch an assassin approached the cave, hoping to slay the dragon mother and take the dragonette for himself. Kache fought bravely and killed the assassin, but not before the assassin could pierce Kache's leg with a poisoned blade. Kache fell as the poison overtook him, the Dragon mother awaking from her slumber just to watch him die as her dragonette was born. She cried out in anguish to see Kache pass and her ancestors in the sky heard her. So they turned Kache into a hawk and displayed him in the sky for the rest of time, so all could see his bravery and valor."

"Wow."

"It's a nice story, but what's more important about the hawk constellation is if you look at it's tail tip, which is just to the right of the beak and down a bit, it's a kind of bright tiny sun," I held my arm up to point, knowing that it wouldn't do much to show him.

"Um, which one?" he asked.

I pointed at the beak and then slid my arm to point at the tail feather star. Zuko didn't respond so to eliminate the parallax between our eyes, I scooted closer to him, placing my head right next to his and brushing my shoulder against his. This way my arm would be pointing to the star for both of our pairs of eyes.

"Oh I see, it has the fainter one just above it?"

"Yes," I put my arm down, brushing against Zuko's arm again. I wasn't sure if it was awkward that we were so close, but I also reasoned that is he wanted to back away now, this was his chance. But he didn't, he stayed where he was, his shoulder against mine, the side of his head against mine...

"So what's that star?"

Right I'm supposed to be talking about the tiny suns, "That one is called Actis, when it reaches zenith at midnight in the winter, it marks the begining of the calendar. It also reaches zenith in the summer and that marks the halfway point of the year. We have an observatory on the other side of the city, it's the big round building on the left when you come in. We have several different calendar cycles we observe. There's the yearly one, of course, the lunar cycle calendar, the solar eclipse calendar, the lunar eclipse calendar, the-"

"Eclipse calendar?"

"Oh, yeah of course, we've been studying the stars since the Sun Warrior civilization began. The solar eclipse cycle is just over 18 years long, there are of course more precise measurements but every 18 or so years the cycle of solar eclipses repeats itself. That's how we predict them, including this last one we had."

Zuko sat up, "But we only knew about it because Azula infultrated the Earth Kingdom and got the information from the Avatar's plan, and they only knew about it because they found it in a secret spirit library that's lost forever. And you guys have been able to predict them this whole time?"

I sat up, "Yeah? But in our defense, we have been in hiding for thousands of years. I just assumed you guys had calendars."

"Not like this we don't. But this information could revolutionize our understanding of the sky, and being able to predict solar and lunar eclipses is pretty powerful information."

"I agree," I said slowly, "I mean, the solar eclipse left even me powerless. I can only assume a lunar eclipse would do the same for waterbenders."

"Yeah, I saw that first hand."

"Hey are you ok? You've been acting kind of weird all day."

"Yeah I'm fine," Zuko said, looking down.

"Ok..." I turned my body to face him, I wanted to ask further but I wasn't sure how to phrase it, so I thought about what else had been bugging me lately, "Well, then can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he said, turning to me.

"Why are you helping Mokuxa? You could just demand that we bow to you and join the Fire Nation in return for you aid, you could just leave us to our own devices, but instead you leave us with our independence and give us protection, resources, alliance, and ask for nothing in return. I don't get it."

Zuko glanced into the fire, "I don't know... you-the dragons, made me see who I really am, and what fire really is. I want to repay that. Without it, I wouldn't have my bending back, Aang never would have mastered all four elements, we never would have won against the Fire- my father... I would have died facing Azula if you weren't there."

His answer left me unsatisfied, "I understand that, but you're still in a position of power and you're expending your countries resources for literally nothing in return."

He was quiet for a moment.

"My father would have brought Mokuxa to it's knees within the day. He would have slaughtered every last person here, set the place ablaze, thousands of years of history to burn. He would have destroyed the dragons without a second thought and I don't even want to think about what he would have done to you."

"So this is all about your father?" I asked softly.

"I can't let myself become him and I'm afraid I will. But at the same time I have no idea what I'm doing... I've been going to see him more."

"Zuko," I reached out to place a hand on his shoulder but he shrugged away from the touch, "You have to stop going to him, he certainly doesn't have your best interests at heart. He's confusing you, getting into your head. You're not your father, you never have been and you never will be."

Zuko looked up at me.

"Promise me you won't go see him again."

He glanced away, "Nix..."

I rolled forward onto my knees, leaning towards him and grabbing his shoulders, forcing him to look at me.

"Promise me."

I could feel the fire next to me growing hotter but I didn't care, Zuko needed to hear me and I wasn't in the mood to keep my emotions in check.

"I promise."

I searched his eyes. I think he was telling me the truth but I have to keep an eye on him. His father's influence only ever is a bad thing.

After a moment I sat back on my sleeping roll, "You know, Zuko, if there's anyone you're like it's your uncle."

"Really?"

I nodded, "I mean, who else has sworn themselves to protecting the masters and preserving our culture. And that's not where the similarities end."

Zuko looked into the fire, nodding slightly.

"Look, it's been a long day, lets just go to sleep. Tomorrow we can talk more about everything."

"Right, of course."

I dimmed the flame of the fire at our feet and adjusted my sleeping roll to give it a little more distance from Zuko before wrapping it around me and closing my eyes, letting myself drift off.

Chapter Text

I was up at sunrise, the sky still dark as the sun lay behind the mountains, but I snuffed out the fire and started pulling on my gorget and bangles.

I nudged Zuko as I secured my ceremonial robes over me and he grumbled.

"Come on sleepy boy, we have a big day ahead of us."

He didn't respond so I shot a little stream of fire a foot or so in front of his face.

He jolted up, "Ok, I'm awake."

"I'm gonna head to the flame, you should sneak back into my house and then head on out so your guards don't get suspicious."

"Right, I'll meet you there in a bit," he turned and walked to the edge of the roof, "Oh, and Nix?"

"Yeah?"

"Your hair looks nice when it's down," He said, jumping down out of sight.

I tried rubbing the heat from my cheeks as I looked around for my hair tie, quickly pulling it back.

I dropped down to the back of the temple where the alcove of the eternal flame burned.

I knelt to meditate until the elders arrived but was almost immediately interrupted by a voice.

"High Preistess! Good Morning! I've brought- oh, oh no have I interrupted?"

I stood and turned to the voice, it was a young girl, her name was Zyanya, she was the daughter of a weaver and while I knew of her I never spoke with her for longer than a few minutes. She was holding a small box in front of her.

"Um, hi Zyanya, what can I help you with?" I asked.

"Elder Itzel appointed me as your new handmaiden," she said, bowing.

"Oh, uh, ok." I said. I hadn't thought of having a new handmaiden... I know it's traditional, but in my head I'll be staying in the Fire Nation long term, at least ideally, and I would hate to drag this young girl (who can't be older than 14) from her home.

"I brought the piercing materials for you from the temple," she walked over to me, setting the box on the alter in front of the flame.

"Thanks."

"What can I do for you now my Priestess?"

"Uh, well feel free to just, hang out I guess," I said awkwardly, kneeling again before the eternal flame.

"Ok, I'll just do that," she said, stepping back and hovering a few feet away.

I returned to my meditation, hearing footsteps enter the courtyard, and by their silence I could tell it was the elders. Then Itzel finally arrived, kneeling before the flame at my side.

As soon as she had the drumming commenced, and I stood, offering my oldest friend my hand, which she took, rising. I turned and from the ceremonial box I took the needle and plate, sticking the end of the needle into the eternal flame.

Itzel took deep breaths as I placed the plate on the back of her ear lobe and lined up the glowing needle against the front. She sucked in a breath as I peirced the skin, sliding the needle the rest of the way through to pass completely.

"You good?" I whispered, the drumming loud enough that only she could hear me.

"Yeah," she returned, and I moved onto the next ear, piercing it as well.

When I finished I took the golden studs from the ceremonial box and slid them through the new holes in her ear lobes, securing them with the backing. Then I took the jade emblems and hooked them over the studs. They dangled from her ears catching the sunlight that was just beginning to stream from over the mountains.

The chanting began as I pulled a bit of fire from the eternal flame and converted it into life fire, letting it swirl around Itzel in the purifying ritual. It found nothing wrong with her of course, and besides healing up the new peircings in her ears, it went smoothly.

When the chant came to its end I circled the fire around her one last time before dispelling it.

"Itzel, do you swear to protect your people from that which seeks to destroy it?"

"I do."

"And do you swear to uphold it's laws and guide it's people to prosperity?"

"I do."

"And do you swear to serve the Masters in whatever way is divined to you?"

"I do."

I turned to the crowd of Elders and some of the people who woke up early enough to want to attend and said; "By the dragons I introduce your new Elder, Itzel."

Cheering broke out and Itzel was overrun by hugs. I held back, it isn't propper for the Priestess to show such an outward expression of love, especially since Itzel's an Elder now.

I'l have to congratulate her later.

"That was definitely interesting," came Zuko's voice from behind me.

I turned as he stepped next to me.

"Uh, ok? Sorry not sure how to respond to that," I said with a laugh.

"I just mean, like I know you have piercings in your ears, as do the other elders, and that maybe it would be a kind of symbol of power but I hadn't actually pictured how it would be done."

I nodded, "It's not really that painful, I mean it is at first but the life fire gets rid of the pain pretty quickly."

"What does it symbolize? The piercings I mean."

"Well it does indicate a position of power, all the elders have them, as do I. They're normally worn as plain gold studs, but for certain celebrations and events you clips decorations onto them like gems or feathers. We get them because they're supposed to show our ability to hear the dragons and relay that information to the tribe, like opening our ears. Though it's purely symbolic as it doesn't do anything and I'm the only one who can commune with the dragons directly anyway."

"Interesting."

"If I can hazard a guess I'd say this isn't an ancient fire bending tradition you're interested in adopting," I said, turning to look at him.

"No, not necessarily," he smiled.

"Come on, lets head to the Inner Chamber, the Elder meeting won't start for a while but we can get talking about details," I said, leading him through to the front of the council building and into the Inner Chambers where Elder meetings take place.

* * *

"I swear that with the cooperation of your people we can rebuild this city in no time. My architects have studied the ancient texts we harbor for all information involving the infrastructure of this city and they believe that with the introduction of metal tools and some of the finest Earth benders, we can have the city ready to open in just 6 weeks," Zuko said.

"You mean to tell me that in just over a month, we'll have an internationally connected city, all built by the fire nation-"

"With help from the Earth Kingdom and Northern Water Tribe." One of Zuko's advisors cut in.

"Right, but after all this, all you want Fire Lord, sir, is for 60% of our trade to be with the Fire Nation alone?" Elder Akna finished.

"I really don't think it's a lot to ask, I think of Mokuxa as the Fire Nation's sister and am happy to help rebuild, but I do have a nation of my own to keep in mind."

"It's not that we think the offer is unfair Fire Lord," I said, turning his attention to me, "It's that we're surprised there isn't more that you want."

"I understand your concern, but I do truely belive it is in the Fire Nation's best interest to keep Mokuxa an independent cultural hub where we can all focus on protecting and preserving the dragons and the Sun Warrior culture."

I stayed silent as I looked to my Elders. I knew Itzel was on board, and so was Kache and Mucane, but I wanted a unanimous vote before acting, that would preserve my people's trust in me as a fair leader.

"I think it could work," Akna said after several moments.

"Elder Edrijo? What say you?" I asked.

"I want to say that I'm a big fan, but it seems to good to be true, I don't trust the Fire Nation to handle this with our absolute best interests at heart."

"Would it satisfy you for the Priestess to oversee the construction in the Fire Nation, that way she can keep an eye on the Fire Lord and all executive decisions while we, the Elders can oversee things on the ground floor," Itzel asked.

I turned to her, "Itzel, I'm not so sure that's-"

"That would certainly ease my disdain."

"Let's slow down here, everyone," I said, "Elder Edrijo are you seriously saying that you all would want me to be stationed at the Fire Nation Capital to oversee the rebuild?"

"Well, Preistess we know that you just got back, but I think it would be the best case scenario, that way you ensure we get a voice in all international affairs and the Fire Nation doesn't overstep their bounds," Kache said.

"Fire Lord, do you accept these terms?" Akna said, turning to Zuko.

"To what degree would you all like the Priestess to oversee the project?"

"As much as possible would be nice, your Lordship," Itzel said.

"I will personally guarantee the comfort, security, and power of your High Priestess as my guest to oversee the rebuilding of Mokuxa and it's international affairs," Zuko said, his eyes landing on mine.

I looked over to make eye contact with Itzel, she had a point and I knew of course that she had my back.

"Fire Lord Zuko, if you could leave my people and I alone for a moment," I said.

"Of course, Priestess," he said, rising with his officials and leaving the Inner Chamber.

"Let me get this straight," I said once they were gone, "You all really want me to represent Mokuxa on the global stage and oversee all of it's rebuild efforts?"

"Of course Priestess, there isn't anyone we would trust more," Mucane said.

"Do you have reservations about this arrangement?" Akna asked.

"I don't, I just want to be absolutely certain it's what we all agree on before taking action. Taking the decision to open the city is certainly the right move, and I agree that having me keep the Fire Lord and his advisors in line is a nessicary precaution, but that would leave the city up to you all, and as much as I think it can be handled someone needs to have the day to day say-so in my potentially long-term absence. I think we should hold a vote for a Regent."

Edrijo nodded, "I agree, and I personally would like to nominate our young Itzel, she's already showing her initiative and passion, who better than someone young to facilitate change."

"You don't think someone with a little more experience should do it?" Akna asked.

"I don't think it's much an issue of experience as it is drive," Mucane said, "I know I'm getting old and while I'm happy to serve my people, I don't think I, or any of us old geesers, would be very effective as Regent."

"Itzel, you have my support of course," I said, giving her a nod which she returned with a smile.

"All in favor of appointing Itzel as Regent?" I asked to the table.

The vote was unanimous.

"And just to cover our bases, all in favor of opening the city and establishing me to represent Mokuxa on the world scale?"

A unanimous vote again.

I stood and bowed, "Thank you for the faith in our plan for the future of Mokuxa and the support you've shown. I'm happy to serve alongside you in protection of the Masters and our people. Now, you all deserve the rest of the night off, we've been in this room for far too long. I'll handle the Fire Lord."

The Elders each bowed back and left the room chatting pleasantly until only Itzel and I were left.

"Funny how things work out in the end huh?" She said.

"I certainly don't think this is the end, Itzel," I said, wrapping my arm around her in a side hug, "but congratulations on your new begining as Elder and Regent."

"Thank you Phoenix," she said, enveloping me in a full hug, "I won't let you down."

"Itzel, I know you won't... and I just want you to know, that I think of you as my sister," I said, forcing myself to keep my sadness in.

"And I think of you as my sister," she said in return. I could hear the twinge of tears in her voice, causing some of my own to spill over.

"I love you, and I know you'll do an amazing job."

"I love you too, Phoenix, and don't get so caught up with your boyfriend that you forget about me ok?" she asked.

"Good one Itzel, but no boy will get in between us, especially not one that's not my boyfriend."

"Just saying," she said, pulling away.

I gave her another smile, "Listen, you need to get some rest, send in Zuko on your way out, I still have to discuss the agreement terms with him."

"Don't worry, I got it," Itzel said, a keen smile on her face.

"Don't scare him Itzel," I called after her, but the door had already shut.

Zuko stepped into the room a few moments later, his cheeks were slightly pink and I mentally facepalmed trying to figure out what Itzel my have said to him.

"No advisors?" I asked, as he closed the door behind him, we were alone.

He held up a blank scroll, "I figured we'd get some things written down and then tomorrow we can finalize everything and sign when we have your Elders and my advisory council present."

"Oh, ok, that works for me," I said.

"So what did you all agree on?" Zuko asked, taking his seat next to mine.

"Well, it boiled down to me taking leave of the city to oversee the rebuild efforts at the Fire Nation Capital, while Itzel stands in as Regent in my absense, which is essentially just like the tie-breaker of the Elders, they'll collectively be in charge but in certain matters she'll have the final say."

Zuko nodded, "If I understand it correctly the Southern Water Tribe has a similar structure in place."

I nodded, not sure what I should say.

Zuko finished scribbling down what I'd told him and then asked, "So, we've known each other for a while, or it least it feels that way..."

"Yeah?" I could feel my heart beating as my mind jumped to conclusions.

"But what exactly is your job?"

Yes of course it's about my job, by the dragons you're an idiot Phoenix.

"Well I'm in charge, I guess, I'm not really sure what to say. We have laws and customs, at this point all written by past Phoenixes, and I just kind of enforce those laws, and when new situations pop up, like this for example, I take charge and have the final say."

"Then why take a vote with your Elders? Why not make the decision on your own?"

"Well..." do I tell him that I secretly want to leave my city and experience the world so I want them to to be happy in my absence? "I know that any decisions I make will effect my people more so than me, and having the council vote on it ensures that it's something we can all agree on, like opening up the city. Then they have space to voice their concerns and they can be addressed."

All this was true of course, I do want what's best for my people.

"Mokuxa is a small city, in terms of population, and I pretty much know everyone personally. It makes my decisions seem more impactful because I can directly see the results of them. You could pass a law that banned people from sleeping in the streets. You may never see the effects of that living in the Fire Nation Capital, and that's not your fault, but in poor cities, you could be meaninglessly arresting thousands of people. Not that you would ever do something like that, but just for illustration."

"No, I understand what you mean. Has it been difficult? Being High Preistess?"

"Not really, before I took my position when I turned 13, I had been reading the scrolls from my previous life-cycles. Reading of our customs and histories and how to be a good leader. This situation itself is unprecedented so I'm kind of making it up as I go," I said, smiling lightly.

"Must be nice..." Zuko murmured.

"What's bothering you?" I asked.

"I just don't know what I'm doing. I mean, I have so many ideas and things I want to change, but then there's so many unforeseen problems and little things that pop up that I'm completely unprepared for."

"Well I can't imagine your job is easy in the slightest, and you're new to it and making up a lot of it as you go, and I think you're doing a really good job so far."

"You think so?" Zuko asked, turning to me.

His eyebrow was lifted in slight disbelief and his lips turned down in a pout. My breath was momentarily caught before I could pull myself together.

"Yeah, I certainly couldn't do what you do."

"I highly doubt that," Zuko said, placing his hand on the table.

I glanced down to it and could feel my heart start to beat faster.

Calm down Phoenix, he doesn't feel that way about you.

"We should probably get going, it's late," I said after a moment.

"Ok, should I meet you on the roof in a few?"

"No, you should sleep in a real bed," I said, letting a stern tone into my voice.

"Why don't we both just stay in your house?" Zuko asked.

"You have to realize how bad of an idea that is," I said plainly.

"Well, it's your house, you can sneak in through a back way or something, no one has to know, that way neither of us are out in the elements."

"Is this something I can get you to let go of?" I asked.

"No, not really," he smiled.

"Ok, I'll meet you there," I said, watching him give me a bow and leave the Inner Chamber.

Maybe 20 minutes had passed before I made my way across the city. I climbed up one of the old storage buildings and once out of sight, boosted myself up onto the wall. Then it was a simple task to walk along to my house and silently drop down onto my roof.

My landing made a small noise so I stayed put until I was sure Zuko's guards weren't listening anymore and then I creeped over to the trapdoor and dropped down.

Everything looked largely the same, Itzel definitely tidied up in here, for which I was eternally grateful.

I turned and spotted Zuko sitting at my table, reading something.

He looked up a smiled, "Hey."

"Hey," I said, joining him in the corner of the room, "What are you reading?" I asked.

"It's one of your mother's journals. I had an advisor going through the library, I hope you don't mind, but the librarian helped and found this, it has the account of my Uncle in it."

"Oh, that's great," I said, the thought of my mother's journals jogging my memory to what Iroh had told me about my mother's secret journals. I had no idea where to start looking for those. I also knew that I wouldn't have much longer in Mokuxa and that I'd be too busy to even try to find them.

Zuko looked like he was going to say something when we heard a sound across the room and I saw Zyanya standing underneath the trapdoor to my roof.

I stood quickly as she looked between Zuko and I.

"Zyanya what are you doing here?!" I asked, conscious of keeping my voice down in case any of Zuko's guards could hear.

"I have a note from Elder Itzel and followed you from the Inner Chamber."

I sighed, "This isn't what it looks like," I said, holding my hand out for the note.

Zyanya flitted her eyes between us again, holding up the note "...Right..."

I took it from her and quickly unfolded it.

You're welcome for getting you an excuse to leave the city, but I'm not sure if it's exactly the amount of time you were hoping for, or even under the circumstances, but it's the best I could do, just glad all the Elders were on board. Also, I hope Zyanya's not too annoying, I think she has a crush on you but I did swear her into secrecy of course. And maybe taking her to the Fire Nation Capital won't be the worst thing in the world. There weren't many volunteers for the position.

Anyway, talk to you soon,

Itzel

I quickly burned the note with a small flame and looked up to my new handmaiden.

"The Fire Lord and I have some very important things to discuss about the rebuild, Zyanya, I would appreciate it if you keep all this to yourself," I said.

"Of course my Priestess," she bowed, "I wouldn't dream of betraying you. Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you," she looked up at me, "anything."

I nodded, taking her shoulders and turning her towards the trap door, "I'll be sure to keep that in mind, just uh, make sure no one sees you on your way out, wouldn't want someone to get the wrong idea."

"Yes of course my Priestess," she said, giving me one more bow before stepping up on the ledge against the wall and pulling herself onto my roof. I secured the trap door closed behind her and sighed, taking a seat on my bed.

"Well that was, soemthing..." Zuko said, offering me a smile.

"She's good I'll give her that, I had no idea I was followed."

"She certainly seems... devoted," Zuko offered.

I looked over to him and scoffed, "Yeah well that's just because she has a crush on me."

Zuko's eyes widened, "But, she's- you're- you're both girls?"

"Oh, yeah, I didn't think that was much of something that goes on in the Fire Nation," I said.

"So, she's a girl, and she has a crush on you, and you're a girl..."

"Yeah, we have several same-sex couples in Mokuxa, for example, Elder Akna is married to a woman, and one of our warriors Ajeno is married to a man. I'm guessing that's not the traditional way of things in the Fire Nation but it is here."

Zuko nodded thoughtfully. After a moment he turned to me, "And do you...?"

"Like girls?" I filled in.

Zuko nodded.

"No, I don't. Itzel and I kissed one time when we were both young, and I know she likes boy and girls but I uh, prefer, um, the opposite sex..."

Ugh why do I sound so awkward?

"Oh, cool..." Zuko said, glancing away.

"Well, anyway, do you want to turn in for the night?" I asked, pulling an extra blanket from the trunk on the end of my bed and laying it out on the other side of the room, all in an effort to hide my blush.

"Oh, um, sure, but Nix I'll sleep on the floor," he said, putting the book down and standing.

I sat on the blanket and started taking off my armor pieces, "Don't be ridiculous, this is my house, my rules, if I say you sleep on the bed then you sleep on the bed."

Zuko looked over to my bed then back to me before putting his hands up in mock surrender, "Ok but next time the situation comes up we're switching."

"Fine by me," I shrugged.

I pulled the blanket over me and dimmed the fire in the banisters.

I could hear Zuko breathing on the other side of the room, somehow much louder than the previous night. But I did eventually get to sleep.

I was up at dawn, like always, and Zuko was still asleep. I grabbed my things and folded the blanket, laying it on my trunk.

I unhooked the trapdoor and let it swing open. Before I boosted myself out I took a look at Zuko. His breathing was slow, and his face was calm. He looked so incredibly peaceful. I let myself be a creep for just a moment longer before taking a deep breath and boosting myself onto my roof, pulling up and closing the trapdoor behind me.

The rest of the morning went by smoothly, and we had all the necessary documents drafted and signed by midday.

"Are you headed out today?" Itzel asked, coming up next to me as I sat on the steps of the temple.

"Probably, I think we all want to get things moving as soon as possible. Also, Zyanya is quite something."

"Oh? How so?" Itzel asked with a smile.

I sighed, "Ok to explain it I have to tell you somehting but I swear it isn't what it sounds like."

"Ok," she said, her smile growing wider.

I swatted at her shoulder, "Listen, on the first night we were here, you know I had the Fire Lord staying in my house since there wasn't really another option,"

Itzel nodded.

"And I was going to spend the night on the temple roof like old times, but Zuko found one of my old journals and followed me up there, then after some annoying discussion he insisted on joining me on the roof."

"Mmh hm."

"Stop smiling Itzel," I said covering my face with my hands.

"Sorry, sorry, go on," she said.

"Well, so we just hung out, kind of like camping , on the roof, you know, and it was fine, and then he may have convinced me to join him in my house last night,"

"Okayy."

"And so we just took opposite side of the room, of course, but Zyanya followed my as I snuck in and saw us just sitting there, we were discussing when Iroh of the Fire Nation visited to meet the Masters, but anyway, you can see why I'm slightly concerned about her."

"Oh she's harmless," Itzel said, "she wouldn't tell, besides there isn't really much to tell about."

"I know, I'm just kind of concerned."

"Well don't be, I'm sure she'll behave in the Fire Nation Capital."

"About that..." I said, "I was thinking of asking her to stay here in Mokuxa. You know how I told you about the secret journals my mother kept?"

"Yeah?"

"Well I want to ask her to stay here, with her family, and look for them for me."

"You want to go to the Fire Nation Capital without a handmaiden?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine it's not like I haven't been handling myself. Especially when we were taking down Ozai. She'll still have her job, she'll still get paid, she just won't have to live in a strange new place away from her friends and family for who knows how long."

Itzel nodded, humming in agreement, "If it's what you want."

"It is, besides it's kind of uncomfortable knowing she has a crush on me when she's almost three years younger than me... she's like a kid."

Itzel chuckled, "Yeah she'll grow out of that soon enough."

"Ok well she can feel free to do that in Mokuxa."

"Fair enough, oh speaking of crushes," Itzel said, nodding.

I followed her gaze to see Zuko walking towards us. I rolled my eyes and nudged her before standing.

"High Priestess, my advisors and I were hoping you could join us this evening on our way back to the Fire Nation Capital."

"Of course, the sooner we start work the better," I said.

"Great! We're just getting the affairs of the ship in order to head back, we should be ready by sun down."

"Perfect, I'll see you then," I said, bowing to him.

He returned the gesture and lead his advisors away.

It was a simple thing for me to pack a few of my things and get them loaded, with Itzel's help, of course. Before I realized it I was boarding the ship, and we were headed from Mokuxa's docks and back to the Fire Nation.

The sun lay against the horizon, tucking below the sea. The breeze was salty and the lingering smell of vanilla on my clothes was taken away.

"Are you sad to be leaving so soon?" Zuko asked, walking up next to me.

"I'm not sure," I said, "on the one hand, I missed my people, my city, and seeing them again was so nice... but on the other hand I think I'm happy to be going down the path I am. Don't get me wrong, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for my people, but there is so much more of the world I want to see. I know it's selfish but I'm glad to have this time away."

"I don't think it's selfish, Nix... honestly I know exactly how you feel. I'm happy to be back in the Fire Nation, and to be making real change, but the palace still reminds me other my father and my sister and... my mother. It's hard to be there sometimes and honestly I think part of my enthusiasm about helping Mokuxa is that it's a nice distraction."

"Aren't we the stellar pair," I said.

Zuko chuckled, "Maybe we'll figure it out before anyone notices."

"Your confidence is inspiring," I joked, looking down into the streams of water left by the ship.

"Well, I'm off to bed," he said after a moment "we should be back home-er, to the Capital by morning," Zuko stepped back from the railing.

"Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow," I said, turning to him.

"Good night, Phoenix," he smiled.

"Night Boxito."

Chapter Text

"Priestess, there's been an attempt on the Fire Lord's life!" Came Itzel's voice through the fog of my dream.

I felt myself being shaken awake and I opened my eyes to my former handmaiden, her face clouded with worry.

"Itzel, what's going on? There's been a what?" ice flooded my body as I processed what she'd said, throwing myself out of bed and securing a robe around me before following Itzel through the hallway and around the corner to Zuko's quarters.

Down the hallway I spotted them, Zuko looked disheveled and even more gaunt in the darkness of night than he usually did, which is saying something these days. There was a girl in dark clothes with her hands secured behind her back by a few guards who looked completely out of breath.

As I grew closer Zuko saw me, his expression of fury melting just a little bit.

"Zuko," I said, close enough now, "what's going on?"

"This girl is from Yu Dao, the mayor's daughter. She tried to assassinate me."

I turned to her to try to get a good look, she was quite young, and very pretty, but there was a fire in her eyes. Determination.

"Take her away, I'll be returning her to her family tomorrow," Zuko said.

At his word, the guards led her from the palace, probably to a holding cell.

"You're going to Yu Dao tomorrow then?" I asked, turning to him.

"Yes. I have to make an example of her, that rebellion will not be tolerated. These colonizers need to be taught that their very presence is oppression to the people of the Earth Kingdom."

"Boxito," I said gently, he was clearly worked up and clearly exhausted.

He looked up at me, his expression had gone dark again.

"You know I agree with you and you always have my support, but maybe you should take her home and speak with her father, see if an understanding can't be reached."

He sighed with a nod, "You're right."

I pulled him into a hug and brought my hand up to his head, guiding it to rest on my shoulder.

"Get some sleep ok? A clear and rested head is the only thing that can help you make the best decisions tomorrow."

He took a deep breath against my neck and it sent shivers down my spine. I tried to ignore the feeling in my stomach and pulled away from him, nodding to his bedroom door.

He gave me a sad smile and left the hallway. Once he had I turned around I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

Itzel had hung back but she caught my eye and smiled.

"Not a word Itzel," I said trudging back to bed. I didn't need her relentless teasing again.

I awoke the next morning, at dawn as usual and sat up in bed, glancing to my gorget against the mirror. I haven't been wearing it lately.

Sometimes it's easier to just throw on a Fire Nation robe and get to work. It certainly gets me fewer looks. But with Itzel and Zyanya in town to visit, I felt I had to wear it again.

So I slipped it on and clipped it in the back, sliding on my bangles to follow.

A year.

A full year since the rebuild efforts began in Mokuxa. We quickly outgrew the original plans. Once development started the city's capacity grew larger than any of us could have projected, and new people have been moving in for months.

The island itself is big, and the mountains are dense enough that with some help from Earth Bending, mountain terraces were easy to initialize. And we struck gold within the mountains, we all knew there was some there as it's been integral to our culture, but there have been huge gold veins unearthed that have been growing Mokuxa's wealth exponentially.

With a bigger population new laws were needing to be passed on the daily and I found myself constantly answering letters and signing off on legislation from the Fire Nation Capital.

Zuko's been roped into dealing with Sun Warrior issues from time to time but I try to keep him out of it. Not that I don't want his input, but his own Nation has been quite a lot to handle lately, and now with this assassination attempt?

And beyond my duties as Priestess, there was my research. The Fire Sages were happy to help bring me scrolls and tablet etchings from the... Catacombs, I still wasn't comfortable with returning there, not after what happened last time.

My visits to Azula were informational, to say the least. There had been legends in some of the writings about purple fire, and how it could make a madman sane again, which confirmed my suspicions for its abilities, but there was something more to it than that.

Every session I had with her she doesn't seem to improve much, but looking back at her behavior logs it does seem to be helping over time.

We were worried about what a 2 week-long absence would do, as she would miss 2 sessions with the purple fire while I was in Mokuxa, but Zuko and I agreed that it would just need to happen and Azula has all the time in the world in her facility for her to get better.

Hopefully, the dragons will have some kind of guidance for me, tell me what I'm doing wrong...

There was a soft knock on my door.

I stepped away from the mirror, "Come in," I said.

Itzel and Zyanya walked in, closing the door behind them.

"Priestess," Zyanya bowed.

"Hey Itzel, Zyanya," I said, nodding to them both.

"Zuko's already left, he woke up early this morning and headed out with the Yu Dao girl. I heard from a guard that he didn't sleep at all," Itzel said.

"That seems to be a running theme with him lately."

"Will his Lordship be back in time to visit Mokuxa with you Priestess?"

"He should be, I don't expect him to take longer than a day in Yu Dao, and even so we're not leaving for another week. And Zyanya, you can call us by our names," I said with a smile, heading from my room.

"With all due respect my lady, I'm happy to not," she said, following closely behind.

I shared a look with Itzel who said with a smile; "She'll grow out of it."

* * *

"Zuko!" I said, running up to him and giving him a hug, "How are you, how was Yu Dao? You were gone longer than I expected, I was worried" I said as he tightened his arms around me.

"You were worried?" I could hear the smile enter his tone.

"Don't read into it," I said with a laugh.

After a moment he sighed and pulled away, "Well the mob is gone, for now at least, but the Fire Nation citizens are safe."

"That's great, but what all happened?"

"Well, I'm starting to have second thoughts about the Harmony Restoration Project..."

I gave him a bewildered look.

"I know, I know," he said, placing his hands on my shoulders, "but you should have seen it, Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom citizens living together in peace. I know that it started out as oppressive for the Earth Kingdom residents, but the city has grown. The mayor's wife is an earthbender, their daughter is an earthbender. Yu Dao was the first colony, but I think it's so much more than that now. It's its own city, and I have to respect the lives of the Fire Nation residents who live there, my people."

I thought for a moment. This seemed like an extraneous case, but is it the right thing to do. Eventually, I nodded slowly, "Did you explain that to Aang and them? I can't imagine they'd be thrilled about this."

"I tried to, but I don't know if I got through to them."

I nodded again, holding onto one of his arms which was still outstretched, balanced on my shoulder.

"Well, I know that you've been having trouble sleeping-"

"What? How?"

"Please, Zuko, we're best friends give me some credit. It's pretty obvious and you're not great at hiding it."

He sighed, "Ok."

"So, while you were gone I sent for a friend, well a couple of friends that is," I said, turning as the Kyoshi Warriors entered the hall, "Figured they'd be a little more effective than your guards, hopefully, it'd ease your conscious enough to sleep at the very least."

"Thank you," he said, before nodding to the girls.

"You're welcome boxito, and I've been thinking," I said, dismissing the Warriors, "Do you want me to stay and help you with this situation in Yu Dao? It seems a little more pressing than our trip to Mokuxa."

"No! No of course not, you deserve the break, and to see your people again, I feel like you've been stuck here for the past year, I can handle this. Besides Itzel came all this way to accompany you."

"Are you sure? I really don't mind, Zuko, if you need me I'm here for you, and you're still welcome to come with me-us if you change your mind."

"I'm sure."

"Ok, and if anything happens, you let me know and I'll be there in a heartbeat, Mokuxa isn't far from Yu Dao, I could be there in half a day."

"Ok, I will," he said, pulling me into another hug.

"And if I don't see you again before I leave in the morning," I said, giving him a kiss on the cheek, "be careful, I'm not afraid to come and beat you up if you do something stupid."

He smiled, "I'll head your warning with a heavy heart."

I went to pull away but his arms remained firm around me.

"You be careful too," he whispered.

* * *

I'd told Zuko that any ship would be fine, but he insisted that I take one from his personal fleet across the sea to Mokuxa. The vessel was huge, far too big for just me, Itzel, and Zyanya to travel and far too many soldiers than I thought was necessary, but I can't really argue with Zuko about these things.

The ship's size did certainly add something to its speed, and we arrived at the shores of Mokuxa much faster than I thought we would.

The city came into view, rising into the sky on the sides of tall mountains, my mountains. It was glittering with metallic accents on top of the traditional Sun Warrior stone architecture. I looked along the coastline to the sprawling tendrils of civilization, nearly surrounding the entire visible landmass.

"Welcome home, Phoenix," Itzel said, giving me a smile, which I returned.

"We'll stay at dock so let us know if there's anything you need, Princess," one of the ship hands said. As soon as the word 'princess' left his mouth he froze, realizing his mistake.

For a brief moment, I thought of Azula. Had she commanded this ship?

I laughed to try and dispel the awkwardness in the air as the Captain not-so-subtly hit the ship hand over the back of the head.

"So sorry, High Priestess, please don't mind Kazi's mispeech."

"It's ok, I understand," I said, making eye contact with Itzel and stepping across to the dock, followed by my Zuko-issued guards.

I couldn't believe how much the city had changed, sure I'd seen diagrams and maps but in just one year the city had grown to a size comparable to the Fire Nation Capital, and there was still more being built.

"What used to be all of Mokuxa is now just downtown," Itzel said fondly, pointing out some of the converted buildings, "And don't worry, all of the important buildings really have just been restored to their former glory, I made sure it stayed that way."

"Thank you, Itzel, the city looks magnificent."

"Come on, there are some people who want to see you," she said.

* * *

"How long are you with us Priestess?" Elder Akna asked.

"Just 2 weeks I'm afraid, I have some things waiting for me in the Fire Nation Capital."

"Regent Itzel tells us that you and the Fire Lord have grown quite close," Rosa said, leaning in and lowering her voice.

I looked out across the circle of women all seated in my renovated home and made eye contact with Itzel.

"Did she now," I said narrowing my eyes at her.

"Don't be hard on her, we don't get to hear much about your personal life with you so far away," Chaya said.

"Speaking of," Zyanya spoke up from the back of the room, "Priestess I located the secret journals of your previous life cycle," she said hurriedly rising and leaving the room (still can't believe my house has more than one room now).

"Really?" I turned to Itzel, "You found them?"

"Just a couple weeks ago, we wanted to surprise you when you came. They were protected by a pretty nasty stink trap underneath a loose stone in the observatory basement. We had to bathe Zyanya in tomato juice for hours."

I laughed as the handmaiden in question returned with a stack of journals bound by twine.

"Speaking of, have you been keeping up with your journals, Priestess? We want to make sure the next Phoenix has all the details about your exciting adventures!" Rosa said.

"Oh of course! They make the loveliest journals in the Fire Nation," I said reassuringly to the women in the room, making brief eye contact with Itzel. She was the only one in Mokuxa who knew of my audience with the Sun Spirit Xie. And for right now at least, it needed to stay that way.

I accepted the stack of old books from Zyanya gratefully, there was still dust in between the crevices of the pages.

I ran my thumb along the spine of the top book. The craftsmanship was impeccable of course, and the edges of the books were worn down from use.

The chattering in the room died down and I looked up to see Itzel on her feet, followed closely by Akna and her wife.

"We'll leave you with your writings Priestess," Elder Akna said, motioning for the rest of the women to follow her out.

I thanked them for their company and once I was alone I walked into my bedroom, taking a seat at the writing desk.

I slipped the first journal from its tether and opened it, reading the date on the inside of the cover.

This is from when she was in her early 20s.

I always appreciated my mother's handwriting, but these letters seemed to flow more beautifully than the others, as if she took special care with the tales she recounted in these three books than all of the others she had written.

I got about a page and a half in before I read something that sent a chill down my spine.

"- He told me that he didn't want us to get in trouble but I told him that it would be kind of hard since I am the High Priestess after all. I won't let customs and tradition get in the way of my love for Cienega."

I closed the journal immediately and stumbled onto my bed, laying down.

I feel like I'm going to be sick.

Is that why Cienega was so mad about my decision to open up the city? Because he was in love with my mother and thinks I'm too different from her?

Oh gross. Ugh. This is why I hate it when people refer to me as the previous Phoenixes. I mean I get it because it's technically true, but it's also so not.

Dragons, Itzel is going to have a field day when she finds out.

Unable to force myself to read another word I instead got ready for bed, letting my mind wander to a certain Fire Nation boy and what might have happened the last time we were in Mokuxa together.

Sometimes fantasizing about him makes me feel guilty but the distraction from my mother's questionable taste in men was certainly welcomed this time.

The next couple of days were a lot more fast-paced than my first night back and I hardly found myself with the time to read more of my mother's secret journals, if I even had the stomach for it at the end of the day.

But the city looked amazing, and I had a (Zuko-appointed of course) Fire Nation scribe following me around everywhere, taking every note I dictated which was nice, certainly helped keep my thoughts in order.

Speaking with people and going about the city just made me wish Zuko was here to see it all, he certainly deserves some of the credit for helping get Mokuxa on its feet, and I so badly wanted him to see something he was doing was going well.

* * *

"It's been a week and I haven't heard anything from him," I said, poking at my avocado.

"Well maybe he took care of the situation then headed back to the Fire Nation Capital and is getting ready to meet you here," Itzel offered.

"Yeah but you think he would have sent a letter or something, I just... I don't know, normally we're pretty good about communicating matters of state."

"Is this a matter of state? What about just as friends?"

I sighed, "I mean, I guess we've been kind of distant lately, though I'm not sure what-"

I was cut off by a tapping sound.

Itzel and I turned to the window in the kitchen and she popped it open, a messenger hawk swooped in and landed in front of me.

"Wow speaking of," Itzel commented.

"Finally," I said, putting my bowl down and sliding the scroll from the bird's container, starting to read.

A few moments later Itzel spoke up, 'What does it say?"

I held up my hand, having to reread it to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me.

"Phoenix," Itzel prompted.

I handed the letter to her and stood, "I cannot believe this. Of all the idiotic and mindless things to do he's going to go to war?! And then there's everything with his father and I- Ugh!"

"Phoenix calm down, you're gonna burn the house down," Itzel said following me to my feet.

I looked around to the banisters in the room which were rising incredibly high. I took a deep breath to let them return to normal.

"Ok, send a letter back to Suki letter her know you're on your way, then you can leave, I'll let the Elders know in the morning, it will all be ok,"

I hit my fist against my forehead in frustration, "When I get my hands on him, I swear,"

"I'll get you some paper," Itzel said, nodding for me to sit back down.

I wrote the letter and sent the hawk off quickly, getting my things together to head to Yu Dao. I'm just glad I had the foresight to bring along my eel hound, Bahlam (which I of course named after the jaguar dogs that live in the mountains around Mokuxa).

I was out in the water headed to Yu Dao before my Fire Nation guards even noticed I'd left my house.

It was nearly dawn when I arrived to the city, but as soon as I hit the western shore, Suki's messenger hawk swooped down and landed on Bahlam's head, which is something I'm sure he isn't happy about.

I took the scroll out and read it through, Suki detailed the events of the battle for me, and the outcome, then she tacked on a bit of news that exhausted me just by reading it; Zuko had gone to Ba Sing Se with Aang.

Great. Now I have to go all the way to Ba Sing Se. I pulled out my map.

I guess I can take the north side and bypass the Serpent's Pass... Well, now I wish I wasn't on a time crunch and could enjoy the scenery as I go through.

* * *

I've never traveled completely alone before, and I didn't foresee a lot the issues that arose. For one, the Earth Kingdom knew a lot more about me than I thought they did. I guess Mokuxa has garnered a reputation for itself in the short time it's been on the rise.

It was weird to come into a town and for people to recognize me.

And somewhere in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se I almost got mugged! Which was pretty exciting, it let me brush up on my fighting without bending.

I knew things were still a little precocious in the Earth Kingdom about Fire Bending so I didn't think it'd be a good idea to demonstrate it.

Then finally we reached the Jasmine Dragon. I jumped off of Bahlam (who was completely exhausted at this point), and ran through the darkness of the evening into the tea shop.

I pushed the doors open and frowned, searching the near-empty room. Zuko was sitting at a table across from Aang, they were drinking tea with Iroh.

"Nix!" Zuko jumped in his seat, clearly startled to see me.

"Why didn't you write to me?!" I demanded the emotions that had been festering in me for the past several days boiling over.

"I-"

"I would have been there in half a day! The whole mess could have been avoided without an armed military conflict." I took a step towards him, noting the awkward look on Aang's face, "But you didn't even bother to let me know what was going on? After all this time I have supported you, not just as a friend, but as the High Priestess of a sovereign people, and you can't even give me the courtesy of an update?!"

"I know," he said simply, looking down.

"I'll just..." Aang said, pointing to the back of the shop where Iroh was.

I turned my glare to him and he scurried off.

"Ugh, I'm gone for two weeks and you almost go to war with the Earth Kingdom."

"I know, I know," he stood and walked over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. I shrugged away from his touch. I needed to think.

"Listen, I know you're mad, but I was right, and you know I was," he said, exasperated.

"Yes I know you were right, but that's not all this is about," I said, jabbing a finger to his chest, "You don't trust me, and if you don't trust me, then why am I even here?"

"Don't trust you?! You're my best friend there isn't anyone I trust more!"

"Then why did I have to hear about your little meetings with the genocidal maniac we call your father, from Suki via letter?! You promised me that you wouldn't sneak away and speak with him again last year."

"Nix... I..."

He was silent for just a moment before he exploded, the fire in the lanterns around the room rising, "Because I'm terrified, and I'm stressed and anxious, I can hardly ever sleep. I'm having nightmares of dying and seeing my mother and reliving my biggest mistakes. Everything I do I feel like I'm either being a bad Fire Lord or turning into my father, and I can't breathe. I've been out of it for days, there's so much constant pressure and expectation and I can't keep up, no matter what I do I'm disappointing somebody, betraying somebody. And I don't talk to you about because I'm constantly worried that one of these days..." his voice grew quiet, like he didn't want anyone in the other room to hear, "you'll realize you're wasting your time and you'll leave me, and I'm desperate to not let you slip away. I'm afraid that if you see who I am, how broken I really am that you'll go back to Mokuxa for good and I'll be alone."

My heart pounded in my chest, "Zuko-"

"And now I'm ruining everything aren't I?" his voice was even softer now.

I sighed, taking his hand, "Let's get some fresh air."

We walked out of the shop and down the street, passing by a small pavilion with a fountain. I sat on the stone edge and he sat next to me, no one in sight. The water was calm.

"I'm sorry I blew up at you," I said, looking down at our still intertwined fingers.

"I'm sorry I blew up at you too, my anger gets away from me sometimes. You didn't deserve to be the one on the receiving end."

"No, it's ok. You just have to communicate with me, I care about you, but I won't know how to help if you don't tell me."

"I know." Zuko looked into the water, "Thank you for understanding, I don't know where I'd be without you."

I took a deep breath, the weather was nice, warm with just a little breeze to ruffle its way across the dark pavilion. The tiny suns above us tinkling silently.

"How are you? Suki mentioned you almost died, are you ok?"

"I'm fine," he said glancing away, "Just needed to sleep it off I guess."

"Zuko, what else has been eating at you? I know there's something more beyond all the Fire Lord stuff... you mentioned your mother..."

He sighed after a moment, "I need to find her."

I nodded, "Ok, then let's start there. It won't solve all your problems, but I think the closure will help, no matter what we find."

"We?" he asked, looking up at me.

"Yes, but things are going to have to change between us," I said, my heart pounding at the words on my tongue. Was I really doing this? After this whole mess that we went through? Maybe I shouldn't say more, my emotions are just as raw as his right now...

He pulled his hand away, solemn, "Right, of course."

I instinctively reached for his hand again, "If we're going to..." what am I saying? "be together, you need to respect me and trust me."

His eyes flashed back to mine, "Together?"

"Um- well..." I looked away, "earlier in the shop, you were saying all those things- I- I probably just-"

He cut me off with a kiss. His hand squeezed mine and his other hand rested itself on my thigh, the touch causing my stomach to twist itself around.

He pulled away after a moment and I leaned back in, not really sure what I was doing but my heart was pounding and this felt right.

His tongue touched my bottom lip and I pulled away in surprise.

"Sorry I-"

"No, no, sorry," I tried to give him an apologetic smile, "I was just surprised, I've never, um..."

"Right, right, of course, sorry,"

"Don't be sorry!" I said far too quickly, "It's just, you know... not really something a Priestess is supposed to do... not that I didn't want to," I said quickly, spotting his expression. "Sorry, I'm awful at this."

"You're not awful... it's actually kind of sweet," he said, placing his hand on my cheek, "Nix, I've felt this way about you for a long time, and I just want you to know that I won't let anything ruin this for us. Including myself."

I leaned forward, our foreheads pressed together, "I trust you," I murmured, lifting a hand to rest against his chest, his lips getting closer and closer until we kissed again.

"I knew it!" came a voice from across the courtyard.

We jumped apart to see Aang by the street, who looked just as surprised as we did that he'd shouted out.

My face started burning and I stood, not sure what I should be doing in this situation. Zuko followed me to a standing position and walked over to Aang. I trailed behind.

Zuko said something to Aang that I didn't quite catch and then turned back to me, offering his arm. I took it and we walked back to the shop.

"What did you say to him?" I whispered to Zuko.

"Just making sure your honor is intact until we can talk more," he said smoothly.

I chuckled and we entered Iroh's shop.

* * *

"Zuko," I said, pushing him away from me playfully, "I thought you wanted to talk."

"I mean," he shrugged, "We are using our mouths..." he leaned in with a smirk.

I gave him a small peck, unable to contain a smile, and pulled back, "Zuko..."

"Ok, ok," he relented, "should we talk about the important stuff first?"

"Probably," I said, turning against the back of the chaise to face him better.

We were in his sitting room, which I've been in several times before. It makes for a good place to hang out without the ear of the guards when we need to discuss things. But to be here with him... like this, where I could touch him, kiss him... It all felt so new and dangerous.

"So I've been thinking, and I decided I want to talk to Azula about finding my mother."

"Oh?" I asked, unsure where he was going with this.

"I can't get Ozai to talk, but I think she can. If we can convince her to help us, maybe offer her something in return, then I can finally find answers."

"Offer her something? That seems a little... reckless."

"Maybe," he looked into my eyes, "but I'm willing to do anything at this point."

"Ok," I said, nodding," but since I've been gone from the city so much recently, she's been missing her treatments, there's no saying what her mental state will be like right now, she could lash out, or have an episode."

"Well it's a good thing I have you then," he said, leaning closer.

"Speaking of us..." I said, maintaining distance between us for the sake of keeping my mind clear, "What exactly are we?"

"Phoenix..." he took my hand and glanced down to our fingers, effectively avoiding eye contact, "will you be my girlfriend?"

My heart beat and I smiled, "Well, yeah."

Chapter Text

I was certainly more than glad to be in Yu Dao to help with the decision making, especially when it meant I got to see Katara again, who had no shortage of things to talk about and adventures to share.

Zuko and I had decided to try to not make a big deal about our very new relationship (thankfully of which all our friends were supportive of) and I was glad to have the break from the questions from the press to listen to political theory.

I glanced down at my notes again, checking my spelling, and wondered if I could flag down the professor after the lecture and ask a few questions that might help with the situation Mokuxa... What with me ending the rebirth cycle of the Phoenix leaving my people with no successive leader...

There was some heavy whispering to my left and I glanced over to see Sokka's face covered in snow accompanied by Katara's disapproving glare. I had to force myself to hold back a smile.

Moments later Zuko rose his hand a few chairs down, "Professor, can you repeat that last part?"

The old man sighed "A teenager is a teenager apparently, even if he is a head of state," he turned around to face my boyfriend, "I was explaining, Fire Lord Zuko, an ancient Earth Kingdom Philosophy: Family is in essence a small nation and the nation a large family. Do you understand? In treating his own family with dignity, a ruler learns to govern his nation with dignity."

I bristled at the condescension in his tone and glanced over to Zuko, who looked like he had seen a ghost, and I honestly couldn't blame him.

The professor continued on but I couldn't take my eyes off Zuko who looked downcast to the paper in front of him, Aang leaning over to say something, hopefully, to make sure he was ok.

I made a mental note to talk to him about it later before I heard more whispering followed by the subtle slap of Sokka being hit with snow again.

I looked back down to my notes and kept writing. Maybe some kind of elected leader would be good for Mokuxa? As much as I want to keep my position governing the people, maybe my personal dreams and desires are too misaligned with those of the Sun Warriors as a whole. Or maybe I should just suck it up and do my duty, return to Mokuxa soon full time and break up with Zuko... who am I kidding I can't date some guy I'm the Phoenix.

Have I told anyone besides Itzel about our relationship? Of course not. How would they even take it? As much as my mother dreamed of being with the person she loved, she couldn't...

But then again maybe the way things have always been done isn't necessarily the best way. Maybe a more formalized structure of what we have now would be best for Mokuxa. Like a partnership between the regent and the Priestess, we would keep each other in balance.

As I was writing this thought down I realized that people were rising from their seats; the lecture had ended.

My thoughts of asking follow up questions dissipated as I felt a hand on my arm, and with a look saw Zuko standing next to me, "Since we're taking a break can I pull you aside to talk?"

"Of course," I said standing, "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah," he said nodding towards the hallway.

I shared a glance with Katara as Zuko pulled me after him.

Out in the hallway, in an alcove where we couldn't be overheard, I said, "So what did you want to talk about?"

"Well I've been thinking more about my sister, and maybe we shouldn't restrain her-"

I gave him a look.

"-as much..."

"Zuko, do you not remember what happened last time she wasn't restrained? You almost died. I'm not going to take that chance ever again."

"Well, she's been getting her treatments- for the most part, and we do know there is marked improvement. Besides, she's my family whether I like it or not, and I have to treat her with respect, otherwise, what does that say about me..."

I thought about my words for a moment, "Well, I don't know what you're feeling, and I never could, Itzel and books are the closest things I've ever had to family, and I can't imagine how everything is weighing on you, so if you really think this is the best way to go about it," I took a deep breath, "then we can try it, but if she lashes out at all..."

"I know, and I agree if anyone is in danger then we need a new approach."

"Ok then, but let's start small, and not right away."

"Ok," he smiled, "thank you."

I smiled back, "You're welcome of course, though you don't exactly need my permission."

"Oh, I don't know about that," he said, resting his hands on my waist.

I glanced around to the hallway, "Zuko we aren't exactly in private," I said, nodding to the several officials milling about.

"They're not paying attention," he said, leaning in to give my cheek a peck.

I looked back at him, his grin tinged with mischief and his eyes bright. He looks so much better than he did a week ago.

I gave him a quick kiss before pulling him back towards the lecture hall.

* * *

Zuko wanted to try letting Azula back into her old room in the palace, and I wasn't entirely against it, but definitely hesitant, especially since he didn't want me to join him to escort her. But she was his sister so there wasn't much I could say otherwise. Besides, I think Zuko needs this.

I had only just started going through the stack of complaints from Mokuxa when I heard a huge crashing noise coming from a few hallways over. I was out of my room in seconds. The guards outside my door looked as confused as I did but I brushed around them following the noise as they trailed behind me.

I swear if Zuko let her out of her restraints now even though we agreed against it I'll- ugh I don't even know, but wouldn't the Kyoshi warriors have chi blocked her? Unless Zuko didn't even let them help him escort her back to the palace.

And now what if he's hurt and I don't get to him in time?

I rounded a corner and saw a gaping hole in the wall with a terrified guard on the floor. He pointed towards his right and I ran down the hallway, stopping when I heard voices.

It seemed to be a secret room and inside stood the two siblings I'd been looking for, not fighting, not even yelling, just them having a staring contest, and while there was no actual lightning in the room, I felt if I took another step I may just be electrocuted.

"Oh look, seems we have an audience, so what do you say ZuZu? Let me help you find mom, without the straight jacket and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

I held my breath, my mind going a million miles a minute trying to think of every outcome to this precarious situation.

Zuko glanced back at me with a small kind of panic in his eyes. I wasn't sure what I could offer him and stared back blankly.

He eventually returned his gaze to his sister, "Ok, deal."

Azula grinned.

* * *

"You look quite sharp, Fire Lord, as always," I said, placing my hands on Zuko's chest and feeling his hands rest on my waist. The sensation particularly warming as I wore my Sun Warrior clothes, leaving my midriff exposed.

"Thank you, Nix, but you look even better, and I can't help but notice you're wearing your Sun Warrior garb again," he leaned in dangerously close.

"Yeah, I've been feeling a little out of touch with Mokuxa lately, and thought dressing traditionally would help with that."

He rested his forehead against mine and I slid my hands up to hold his face, letting my fingers brush against the edge of his scar.

Zuko took a deep breath and fluttered his eyes closed.

"How are you Boxito?" I asked quietly.

"I'm better. More hopeful."

"Hope is good."

He hummed and moved his hands to my back, rubbing warm circles into my skin.

I gave him a chaste kiss and pulled him closer, nestling my head in his shoulders and wrapping my arms around as much of him as I could.

"Everything will be alright, you have all the support from us and your Uncle will be here to watch over things, you have nothing to worry about."

He sighed against my neck, causing my skin to erupt in goosebumps, "I just hope I find answers."

"You will."

"What a touching moment. Gotten over Mai so soon Zuzu?" came Azula's voice from the other side of the room. Something sharp suddenly poked around my gut and I suppressed the feeling.

I pulled away from Zuko slightly and looked to Azula who was standing with her hip cocked to the side and her arms crossed, Suki and Ty Lee right behind her watching carefully.

I was surprised. Sure I know she was mean and rude before her breakdown, but every time I've done treatments with her she's been more or less incoherent, it was honestly kind of encouraging to see her almost normal, almost.

"Azula please, be civil," Zuko chastised.

"You're looking well today, Azula," I said.

She looked away and scoffed, "Not like you care."

I shared a sad smile with Zuko just as Iroh came in with tea.

"I've been trying this new blend at my shop and my customers seem to love it," Iroh said, easing the tension he somehow picked up on.

We all gladly took a cup and sipped, Azula keeping her distance with a mild look of distaste.

"It's great Iroh, what's the blend?" Suki asked.

"Peach flower and oolong, with just a touch of jasmine."

"Well I agree, it's lovely," I said, taking another sip as we heard voices in the hallway.

Iroh smiled and slipped back out of the room to investigate. Seconds later the curtain opened and Iroh called, "Zuko, Phoenix, your friends have arrived!"

Zuko gave me a smile and led the way from the room.

I glanced back to make eye contact with Suki and Ty Lee, to make sure they had an eye on Azula. They both gave me a nod and I followed out.

"Thank you for inviting us to your home your fieriness, we've been out of touch for much too long," Aang said, giving Zuko a bow.

"It's only been a week," Zuko said.

I exchanged a hug with Katara and asked, "Where's Toph?" seeing just the water tribe siblings and Katara's boyfriend.

"She had to stay at the academy," Sokka said, "Now that folks have seen the lily livers- I mean, her students in action, everyone and their mother wants to be a metalbender, even the Yu Dao chief of police went to visit her!"

"Good for her," I commented, unable to contain a smile at the thought of Toph as a teacher.

Katara nodded before continuing, "We came as soon as we received your message. What's this about?"

"I recently obtained some new information about Ursa, my mother. It turns out she's from a small town called Hira'a on the outskirts of the Fire Nation. I'm going there to look for her," Zuko said, "Uncle Iroh's agreed to watch over things while I'm gone," he gestured to his Uncle.

Iroh nodded with a smile, "May you find who- and what- you are searching for my nephew."

"That's great Zuko, but it sounds like you and Nix got everything covered..." Aang trailed off.

"So why do you need us?" Katara finished.

I cringed slightly in anticipation.

"The information about my mother came at a cost you see..." Zuko glanced down solemnly.

Suddenly Aang shouted, "Zuko, behind you!"

Katara pulled out some water as I turned around to, of course, find Azula lurking behind her brother.

Katara shot ice at her and shouted "How did you escape!"

"Katara wait!" Zuko shouted.

"It's not what you think!" I supplied just as Aang pulled out some airbending.

"Stay back, we don't want to hurt you!" Aang shouted.

Sokka lifted his boomerang, "Speak for yourself, Aang!"

"Guys!" I tried shouting but Azula cut me off.

"Ha, ha! Ignorant peasant! You really think you can take me on with a boomerang?"

I took a brief moment to marvel at how well Azula was keeping her cool just as Sokka yelled "Let's find out!"

"Sokka stop, let them explain!" came Suki's voice just as she burst into the room.

With Sokka properly distracted by his girlfriend, Zuko took a breath.

"Azula was the one who got the information from Ozai. Because she helped me out, we made a deal. She's going to come with me to look for our mother. And she's going to travel unbound with dignity."

Azula turned her nose up slightly.

"And we want you all to come with us," I finished, trying to reassure the look of shock on Katara's face.

"No offense, but that sounds like the worst plan ever!" Aang said.

"Oooh oooh, new nickname for Zuko! How about Bad Decision Lord?" Sokka said from the other side of the room where he was still hugging Suki.

Iroh cut in "Ever since my nephew ascended to the throne, he has yearned for peace. Finding Ursa may bring that peace- and not just for himself," Iroh looked to Azula who stood scowling at the ground.

Aang was silent for just a moment before stepping forward, "We're your friends, Zuko. If you need us, we'll go."

"Awe," Katara said quietly tilting her head with a smile, looking at Aang.

I shared a look with her as our partners exchanged a hug.

"Isn't it just?" I asked nudging her slightly. Katara and I made eye contact and we were unable to contain a laugh.

The next day came quickly and it was nice to be in traveling clothes. I've been itching to leave the palace and the misadventure to Ba Sing Se to track down the almost dead Zuko and to get Yu Dao set up had been teasing me of all the possibilities.

But now I was back with my friends on Appa and we were off to find closure for Zuko and I was going to see so many new places and meet new people, at least people who weren't politicians...

I sat at the back of Appa's saddle, Azula sitting in between Zuko and me so we could keep an eye on her. And while I could hear the conversation, I couldn't stop myself from tuning out, watching the lush Fire Nation landscape scroll by underneath us, the hillsides dotted with forests and towns, roofs a striking red clay.

Azula spoke up next to me and my attention was drawn away.

"So tell me, kids, I've been dying to know," her tone slipped into something much more familiar, "which one of you miscreants did she approach first?"

"Azula," I warned, trying to get her attention away from Sokka, Katara, and Aang.

"None of you had even met me yet! How did she convince you to help her ruin my life?!"

"That's enough Azula!" Zuko shouted.

I threw my arm in front of her, lighting it aflame with purple fire.

She looked down at it, leaning back slightly.

"No need to bring that out, Sun Warrior, it's just small talk," Azula said, her voice returning to it's cold, yet in-control tone from earlier.

I exchanged a look with Zuko. I had no idea what to do, her behaving even a little normally was still a new development and I had no idea how to keep her in her clear mind. Zuko offered a worried shrug.

"I wish Toph was here," Sokka said aimlessly.

From the front, Aang agreed and the saddle returned to silence.

Azula spent the rest of the ride in general silence but I was exhausted from keeping my attention on her constantly.

Luckily, the sky was turning orange when Zuko spoke up, "I think that's Hira'a up ahead. If we can't get there before sunset, though, we should set up camp. I don't want to enter town in the middle of the night like a gang of bandits."

I smiled.

"Good point," Sokka said, turning to the resident Airbender, "Hey Aang-"

Aang's face was contorted into some deep scowl.

"AH! What it's not enough that we have to have one passenger who stares at us with crazy eyes?!" Sokka said, temporarily losing his composure.

"What's wrong with your face?" Katara asked.

"I don't know..." Aang lifted his hands helplessly, the dark look on his face intensifying, "But I can't help it! There's something out there... some kind of spirit. I can feel it's presence, especially in my face."

"Now that you mention it," Sokka said, pulling his face with his fingers, "I feel it too, that's why I'm doing this!"

"Sokka," Katara chided, "This is serious."

"As serious as this?" he asked, pointing to his face.

"Knock it off," Katara hissed.

"Nix, do you feel it?" Zuko asked turning to me.

I frowned, "No, I don't feel anything weird."

Aang looked over the edge of Appa's saddle, "Whoa! Did you guys see that giant wolf spirit? I think that's the presence I'm feeling!"

I looked over the edge with Zuko as Sokka yabbled on (and was quickly met with snow in the face).

"There's nothing down there," Zuko said.

"No, I see it!" I said. The spirit was huge, its ghostly body was bounding across the ground incredibly fast, faster than Appa.

Suddenly Zuko was shouting, "Azula get down from there.

I whirled around, my stomach dropping.

Azula stood on the opposite edge of the saddle, her arms spread out, "I can't tell you what a pleasure it's been riding with you all, listening to you bicker. Too bad not all siblings can get along as well as Zuzu and me! Now that Hira'a is just a hop skip and a jump away it's time to bid farewell. I'll be sure to give her your regards!"

My body didn't move fast enough as I lurched forward after her.

"No, Azula! We're too high up!" Zuko yelled, reaching after the retreating form of his sister.

I stood, flames at my fists, ready to jump until I felt a hand on mine and looked at Zuko, who nodded to Aang who was already in the air. Right, Airbender.

I knelt back down next to Zuko watching Aang race towards Azula. He had his arm around me and I could feel him holding his breath.

"Breathe," I whispered, feeling him inhale again just as there was a flash of lightning.

Aang came crashing to the ground, his glider on fire, and Azula cushioned her landing with flames seconds before Appa touched down.

I gave Zuko's hand a final squeeze before we jumped to the ground.

"Sokka, Katara, go make sure Aang's ok! We'll go after Azula!"

We sprinted after her, but she was disappearing behind the rocks every few seconds. Regardless we kept going until I heard shouting and I grabbed Zuko, pulling him back.

"Nix, what are you doing?!" He asked.

I pulled on his arm again and held a finger to my lips.

Azula was having a breakdown, talking to herself again, or someone in her head (I'm not entirely sure).

Luckily Zuko got the message and remained quiet.

He motioned for us to go around a boulder to a bend in a stream. Azula's voice seemed to be coming from upstream, so it was perfect.

"-Your most treacherous act Mother! You've turned my own mind against me!" Azula shouted just as she came into view. She shot lighting into the stream and we stepped onto the opposite bank to avoid the charge.

Water sprinkled down like rain and Azula slumped over, breathing heavily. Hopefully, she's exhausted herself out.

"Who are you talking to, Azula?" Zuko asked gently.

"Why do you care?!" Azula snapped, looking back up.

"Keep to our deal, Azula, and we'll find her together."

She rose her hands, electricity crackling between her fingers, "You need me Zuzu. I have information you don't. But now that we're so close to Hira'a I don't really need you anymore."

I watched as Zuko rose his hands, a pale flame around his palm, he was hurting, "Please... I don't want to do this."

Talking isn't going to work anymore.

With Azula distracted I shot purple flames at her, keeping the stream concentrated, focusing on reaching into her nerve endings, forcing them into the paths they once had. A temporary fix.

I walked closer to her and I heard her fall to her knees.

I let the flames subside and Azula was on the ground, a single tear silently sliding down her face.

"Azula," I said gently, holding out my hands to her.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said. Her voice was small but steeled and defiant.

She stood on her own and I took her shoulder leading her back towards Zuko and our friends which had appeared from the rocks while I was focused on Azula. Katara came over to help me and bound her hands in ice.

"Zuko, you gotta reconsider this arrangement with your sister," Sokka said, and I was about to agree with him when I noticed Aang's face, and then the loomingly large spirit emerging from the rocks as well.

It was, even more, terrifying up close, even Azula gasped.

"The wolf spirit must've left the spirit world for a good reason! So please, everybody, be respectful!"

The spirit growled and snapped at Sokka who jumped back and yelled "Respectful?! Your spirit just tried to eat my head!"

I made eye contact with Katara and she made a better ice containment for Azula which froze her completely in place with her head sticking out, to which she struggled against.

"Those markings on it's belly..." Zuko said, "they sort of look like a face..."

"Aang, that's the face you've been making!" Katara said.

"You're right!' I think I get it now!" Aang said, airbending himself onto one of the tall rocks to talk face to face with the giant wolf.

"Stop big giant wolf spirit! Listen to me! I felt your presence earlier, see? Just like the design on your fur! I knew you were near because I'm the Avatar, the great bridge between the spirits and the humans! My friends and I were traveling to the town of Hira'a when one of us-" he looked to the effectively contained Azula, "-decided to go her own way. If we've disturbed you, please accept our apologies."

The wolf watched Aang silently for a moment and I thought everything was gonna be fine until it growled and lunged at him.

We all jumped into action bending at it (or boomeranging in Sokka's case), but our attacks practically bounced off without a mark.

"Did that wolf spirit... just eat my fire?!" Zuko asked as smoke erupted from the canine's snout.

"And burped! It ate your fire and burped at you!" Sokka added.

The wolf lunged again as Aang was saying something about being the great bridge, but it was hard to hear over the snarling.

As we were getting out of the spirit's way Appa came roaring in, tackling the spirit back.

"All right! Giant spirit animal mega-brawl!" Sokka said.

The giant animals traded blows as Aang yelled, "Go easy on him, buddy, we just want peaceful passage to Hira'a!"

It certainly didn't seem like peaceful was the outcome of this encounter as Appa launched the wolf spirit across the rocks.

I've never healed a spirit before, do they even need healing? Well, this one certainly looked like it might as it crashed into pillars of stone.

Aang ran forward and we were just behind him as the wolf managed to pull itself up.

Before anything else happened, the wolf vomited glowing pink moth-wasps which pooled around the air in swarms.

"You are the grossest spirit ever!" Sokka shouted and the wolf pulled backward, to make way for the moth-wasps.

I tried running from them, only to run into another swarm so I started trying to dodge them when Aang called, "Try not to hurt them! They're spirit creatures!"

Spirit creatures or not the hundreds of little moth-wasps latching to my skin was making my want to explode with fire.

"Aang it's getting hard to breathe!" Katara yelled.

"I know, but if you but them things might get worse!"

"How could things possibly get worse?" I asked.

I shouldn't have asked as I found myself within earshot of my boyfriend and his sister.

"I'll admit it all right? I shouldn't have run off on my own like that after all, we made a deal. And if you can't trust your family then who can you trust?" Azula said.

Zuko rose his hands in a fire bending formation towards her. Is he going to...?

"Zuko what are you doing?" I asked, placing a hand on his outstretched arm.

"She's my sister, we should let her help."

"She's also potentially unstable, we can't risk it," I said, feeling another prick of a moth-wasp on my skin.

"You need my help, admit it, Sun Warrior."

"Zuko, don't," I warned.

Zuko looked between us briefly before melting the ice around Azula, setting her free.

She lept to her feet with a ball of lightning and sent it away in the distance. The moth-wasps and wolf spirit chased after it.

She turned back to the rest of us, "Your welcome."

I looked at Zuko who stood staring after the retreating spirits.

Aang said something about finding a place to set up camp and they started heading off.

Zuko stayed put which meant he wanted to talk.

But I didn't want to talk to him. You'd think he would trust his girlfriend's judgment went it came to Azula. No one understands her condition better than I do, and even then my grasp isn't great.

I turned on my heal and followed our friends without a word, my eyes trained on Azula.

We found a flat spot by some trees and set up camp for the night, Zuko offering to take first watch.

Whatever, who am I to tell the Fire Lord what to do? If Zuko thinks he knows best about Azula then fine. I'll just hang back and watch her spiral out of control as she's done before and will again.

The transition from the constant watch and restrainment to sudden freedom can't be the healthiest approach, and we had agreed on something gradual but then Zuko had to make his deal.

I claimed my sleeping spot on Appa's tail and turned away from the fire where Sokka and Zuko sat. I'll wake up for my shift later...

I felt myself being shaken awake, someone's hands on my shoulders.

My eyes creaked open and adjusted to the light. Zuko was hovering over me, something clearly wrong. A quick glance at the sky told me that it was still early in the night.

I grabbed his arms, pulling myself up, "Azula, is she-"

"Asleep," Zuko said. I looked over his shoulder, and she was. Katara sat at the fire with her back to us, watching her.

My panic subsided as I pulled my hands off of him, and he pulled back likewise.

"So then, why are you here?" I asked, scooting back on Appa's tail to make room for Zuko, who then sat next to me.

He pulled a folded piece of paper from his robe, holding it out to me, his hand shaking.

I took it, unsure.

"Read it, please," Zuko's voice was small, something indiscernible in his tone.

"If this is about earlier..." I said, a feeling of quiet guilt rising in my gut, wondering if he felt like I was abandoning him.

"It's-" he put a hand on my thigh, "It's not about earlier, please,"

"Ok," I said, opening the letter.

My dearest Ikem,

It's taken me a long time to admit it, but you were right. I belong with you, and nothing is worth this pain. My one consolation is our son Zuko. When I look into his eyes, it's as if I'm looking into yours. My thoughts are with you always.

Love, Ursa

"Our son," I whispered, shock freezing my body.

When I looked up, I could see the tears in Zuko's eyes, threatening to spill.

I folded the paper up and leaned forward, slipping it back into his robe before I threw my arms around him, squeezing him to me as hard as I could.

After a moment his arms came up around me too and his body jolted with silent sobs.

We were like that for a while. When he had gotten his breath back and calmed down a little bit I pulled away from him slowly.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I asked.

He took a deep breath and looked into the trees, "Yeah, I think I do."

I nodded and slipped off of the sky bison's tail, turning around to help Zuko up.

He left our hands intertwined and we started walking along the sparse trees. The moon was full and it's light descended through the tree branches easily, lighting the forest floor.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

"Not yet. I'm still not sure what to think."

"Ok, if you do feel ready, I'm here."

"I know, and thank you."

"Of course."

"Can we talk about what happened earlier?" he asked.

"You want to talk about earlier?" I rose an eyebrow.

"I want the distraction, and to have one less thing to worry about."

"Ok, then yeah we can talk about it."

"Because I'm sorry," he said.

"You're sorry, Zuko? I should be sorry, you're going through something really hard right now, and it wasn't fair for me to get so angry when you were just doing what you thought was right."

"But I should have listened to you, you've spent the most time with Azula and you know the most about her mental state."

"But she's your sister, and I should have respected your instincts, and they turned out to be right, she did help us, and I'm not sure what we would have done if you hadn't freed her."

"But, Nix, you were right that I can't trust her, she's the one who's been hiding the truth about my... my real father."

"Boxito..." I said, "You're still the same person you've always been, who your father is doesn't change that."

He shook his head, "I'm not worried about that, well... maybe I am," he sighed, "I don't know, but I think I'm afraid that it all makes sense, why he never treated me like he treated Azula, why it was so easy for him to burn me, to banish me..."

"But if he knew then why let you live at all?"

"He was going to kill me, my Grandfather commanded Ozai to take my life as punishment for asking for Iroh's birthright and Ozai didn't even argue, he was going to do it."

"But obviously that didn't happen, you're still here," I squeezed his hand.

"My mother must have stopped him..."

"I guess so..." I looked down at our hands, "How do you feel about it, finding out that Ozai isn't your real father?"

"I think... I think I feel hopeful. It means that I won't turn into him because he isn't my actual father, I don't have a tie to him."

"Well... if you're right, and this letter is real and isn't some fake that Azula is using to manipulate you-"

Zuko shook his head, "It isn't, this is definitely her handwriting."

"Well, either way, what does this mean for your throne? And why hasn't Azula challenged you for it, if you're not the legitimate son of Ozai?"

He sighed, "I don't know. This is all... so much to think about."

I nodded, "Do you want to go back, try to sleep on it?" I asked.

He was quiet for a moment, "That's probably the responsible thing to do, huh?"

I nodded and offered him a smile.

"Ok, then," he said, letting me lead him back to the campsite.

By the look of the stars, it was almost midnight, which meant it was time for me to take over the watch.

Zuko sat on Appa's tail and grabbed my hand.

I turned and looked at him.

"Stay, please."

My heart suddenly started beating loudly in my chest and I looked at Katara then back at Zuko.

"I... Ok, I'll be right back then," I said, making my way to the fire.

I sat next to Katara.

"Hey, Nix, is everything ok? Zuko seemed weird earlier when it was shift switch time.

"He's uh... going through a lot with Azula and, some things she said..."

Katara nodded and looked over her shoulder to my boyfriend, "I can cover your shift, but you'll owe me one," she smiled.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure, go on, seems like he really needs you."

"Thank you, Katara, I owe you one," I said, giving her a quick hug.

"Don't mention it," she said.

I stood and walked back over to Appa's tail, laying down a few inches from Zuko, trying not to be so dragons forbid awkward.

What do I do exactly? Zuko asked me to stay with him while he slept, but what does that mean?

Wow, am I awful at this.

Zuko next to me shifted his position and turned on his side, looking at me. I mirrored his position and took his hand which lay between us.

"Nix... could you... tell me a story about the stars?" he asked quietly.

I nodded, scooting closer to him, holding my arm out.

He ducked under my arm, his head resting on my bicep and under my chin.

He took a deep breath and wrapped his arm around me, my leg tangling itself in his. I was glad I was wearing a top that completely covered my chest, as the close proximity of his face would have caused a severe blush.

I kissed his hair and started speaking.

"There was a Phoenix who lived long ago and was very lonely. She begged the dragons for a child as she was distraught to be so old and alone without a companion. The dragon Haxul took pity on her and brought her the shell of a large turtle duck. Soon, a baby was born from the shell, a young boy who had red hair. As he grew, the red in his hair remained and so the people called him Chak. He made for himself instruments from a gord, called maracas, which had never been used before. One of the Elders, Panaytxl was very traditional, and saw the creation of a new instrument as a bastardization of the law and challenged the boy to a duel. He set in place three tests for Chak, the first to count all of the trees in the city walls, and he succeeded, the second, to find a pepper that was sweet. The next day he rounded up every kind of pepper in Mokuxa and brought them to prove that there are no sweet peppers, and the other Elders agreed to give Chak the point. For the final test, he asked the boy to place an avocado on his adoptive mother's, the Phoenix's, head, then to pierce it with a thrown spear without harming his mother. He did so with such skill he demanded that the Elder's son do the same. To save his pride Elder Panaytxl agreed and when his son threw the spear, it pierced his heart, killing him. Chak was called the Sun Prince and promoted to Elder. He continued to invent new instruments and build new buildings in the city, bolstering the economy and infrastructure of Mokuxa, eliciting a time of peace and growth. But when his Phoenix died, that night he died too, and where his body would have been they found a large turtle duck shell. When the dragons heard of this, the rearranged the stars to form a turtle duck in respect to Chak's passing."

Zuko was asleep. His breathing was slow, rhythmic, and warm. The cool night breeze drifted over us almost unnoticeable and the distant sound of a crackling fire lulled me to sleep.

Chapter Text

I opened my eyes to a pink dawn. 

Zuko lay sleeping in my arms, his leg wrapped around mine, and his head nestled under my chin. It felt so natural.

I spotted Aang across the campsite by the fire. No one else was awake.

I didn't want to have to get up yet. What's wrong with wanting to just lay here and hold my boyfriend? So I lightly stroked his hair to the tempo of his breathing, letting myself rest in the moment.

Zuko sighed deeply and I froze, wondering if I had wakened him. 

"Sorry," he murmured, his voice vibrating warmly against my chest.

"No I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I said.

"You didn't, I woke up an hour or so ago and couldn't fall back asleep."

I blushed at the thought of Zuko laying awake wrapped in my arms for an hour.

I kissed his hair and slowly detangled myself from him. I sat up and stretched, looking down at Zuko who still lay looking up at the morning sky.

"How do you feel?" I asked, brushing a few strands of hair from his face.

He turned his eyes to look at me, "I don't know, I think I have a sense of peace about it? Maybe not..."

I leand down to kiss his forehead, "Why don't you go for a walk and talk to Aang about it, I can stay here and watch her."

He sat up, "Are you sure?"

"Of course," I said, nodding.

He wrapped his arms around me in a hug and breathed deeply against my skin, "Thank you."

"Go on," I said, nudging him towards our friend.

He gave me a short kiss on my cheek before sliding off of Appa's tail and walking over to Aang.

They headed from the clearing and I got to work packing up a few things and putting the fire out, keeping one eye on Azula.

It wasn't long until Sokka and Katara woke up and helped me get things situated. 

I heard mumbling from the other side of the camp and looked over just as Azula was waking up, grabbing Katara's arm.

Sokka rushed over and smacked her hand away.

"Katara!" I joined them, "What's going on, are you ok?"

"Yeah, she woke up all of a sudden and caught me by surprise."

Azula stood bent over, clutching her head before freezing, "The letter! It's gone!"

She whipped around, lighting her fists ablaze, "Where is Zuko?!"

"Azula," I said firmly, lighting my own hands on fire with purple flames, Sokka and Katara taking fighting stances next to me.

"No, not this time," she sneered, blasting fire towards us.

We fought back, her movements were large and sloppy but with a kind of velocity that made her hard to hit. 

Katara rushed over to protect Appa as he struggled to avoid the blasts.

Azula was going to set the whole forest on fire.

I almost had her pinned when she turned tail and ran into the forest.

"Should someone go after her?" Katara asked, trying to douse a burning tree.

"No, Aang is with Zuko, they'll be fine, lets just try to stop this fire."

I really hope Zuko can reason with her, otherwise, I don't know what we're going to do with her.

It wasn't long before Aang made his way back to the campsite, "Katara, Sokka, Nix, are you guys ok?"

"We're fine Aang, she just caught us by surprise," Katara said.

"And tried to burn down the forest!" Sokka added.

"Is Zuko with her now?" I asked as Aang joined us in stomping out the fire.

"Yeah... they were having a bit of a fight."

"And you left him with her alone?" I asked.

"He said he had it," Aang said defensively.

"Nix, Zuko can handle himself, he'll be fine," Katara interjected.

My mind filled with the image of Zuko laying on the ground, his body unmoving and the lighting wound on his chest fresh with blood.

"Right... of course, sorry Aang," I said, focusing on my breathing to quiet the flames Azula had left burning, the smoke making my eyes water.

We had just finished putting out the last of the fires when Zuko walked into the clearing followed closely by Azula.

"Aang! Are we ready to leave?" he asked.

"Your sister set fire to half the landscape!" Aang said.

"Even with Aang's help it took us until now to put everything out!" Katara said.

Sokka stomped up to Azula and said "Nature hates you!" as she pointedly averted her eyes.

"Zuko, are you ok? What happened?" I asked, glancing at Azula.

"We've arrived at an understanding," he said, climbing up to Appa's saddle, avoiding eye contact with me.

"That's what you said when this whole thing started! Since then she's tried to kill us, like, twelve times!" Sokka said.

"Come on. Time to go to Hira'a." Zuko said.

I tried not to take Zuko's attitude to heart. I know he's going through a lot but he was getting distant again, last time this happened he almost went to war.

But without another word, we all piled onto Appa and took off towards Hira'a.

The ride was short and we landed just outside the town to put on our disguises. 

I made sure to take off all of my armor pieces, leaving a pair of bangles just for sentimental sake, as well as adjusting my new dress to make sure it covered all of my tattoos.

"We need to make sure we hide our identities, we'll get mobbed if people figure out we're the Avatar and the Fire Lord," Zuko said.

"Don't worry, after hiding from you all those months, we're masters of disguise!" Aang said.

"Aang, that headband of yours is cute but as a disguise, it worked a lot better when you had hair," Katara said.

I snorted, "Aang had hair?!"

"Yeah it was actually-"

"I did not have it for long!" Aang said, smoothing a hand over his bald head in a kind of protective manner.

Katara and I laughed as we made our way into the town, spotting a huge crowd in the streets.

"I thought Hira'a was supposed to be a small town, why is it so crowded?" Aang asked.

"It looks like they're performing some kind of play," Katara mused as we got closer, seeing actors on stage in costumes.

"I recognize that scene!" Zuko said, "It's the final battle in Love Amongst Dragons."

I peered over someone's head to get a better look, "Ok somebody is going to have to explain this play to me." I hissed, grabbing Zuko's arm.

"Watch this part," he said, "it's the climax."

"Wretched water spirit!" cried the red dragon character on stage, "Now that I've escaped your curse and regained my true nature, you shall pay for your trickery!"

"Have you learned nothing form your time amongst the mortals?" the blue water spirit laughed, "By threatening me you invite your doom!"

The two did very graceful bending-like movements on stage accompanied by colorful flying streamers and big flourishing effects.

The red dragon leaped in the air and rained red and orange streamers down upon the spirit who cowered with a "No! Curse you foul dragon!"

The water spirit character died gracefully and subtly scurried off stage as stage hands changed the set.

Azula and Zuko were talking in hushed tones, and I might have leaned toward them to eavesdrop, but I was too focused on trying to figure out if this red dragon was supposed to be Master Ran, or if it was unrelated.

There was some romantic moment between the red dragon and a blue dragon woman, and they gave each other saccharine exclamations of love before embracing and 'kissing' one another with their masks. The crowd went wild, but I didn't really get it.

"Everybody's leaving," Aang said as the crowd began to thin, "what do we do now?"

Zuko looked around and greeted a passing elderly couple, "Excuse me, we're looking for information on a woman named Ursa, I believe she lived here many years ago?"

"Ursa, hmm," said the old man, looking to his wife, "Wasn't she the magistrate's daughter?"

"Oh yes! Rumor has it she-"

The poor lady was cut off by a shriek. I looked over to see a man pull off his blue water spirit mask next to Sokka, who looked very much like he'd seen a ghost. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you!" he said jovially, shaking hands with Zuko, "I'm Noren, director of the Hira'a acting troupe. Ursa was once a member."

"Ah that's right!" the old lady pipped up, clearly eavesdropping despite her husband's attempts to steer her away, "she always did want to play the dragon empress but never got the chance-"

"Uh, let's find a more quiet place to talk," Noren said, ushering us from the square. "You're all welcome to come to my home. We'll share some tea and I can tell you everything I know."

I titled my head, surprised by his sudden willingness to invite a group of strangers to his house to talk about a random woman (as far as he knew). But Zuko nodded his head graciously, and we followed. 

The house we came up on was quaint but well-kept with orderly shelves and drawers and some pottery and fine china on display. Noren introduced us to his wife Noriko as he prepared tea (with Sokka's volunteer assistance). Apparently, his daughter Kiyi was around somewhere as well. Azula sulked in the corner of their cozy sitting room and I shared a look with Zuko, who sat down with her to keep an eye out.

Katara and Aang kept a polite conversation with Noriko so I let myself glance out the back door to the patio, where a young girl was peeking around the wall.

"Hello," I said, giving her a little wave.

Whatever shyness she had seemed to disappear and she jumped onto the landing mat, looking between me and Zuko and Azula who were sat close by.

"Do you want to meet my doll?" she asked us.

"No," Azula said immediately.

"Of course," Zuko told her at the same time. 

The girl, who must be Kiyi, looked confused for a moment before I told her. "Let's see your doll."

She held up a doll that was actually dressed similarly to her in pale pink with maroon ribbons. "This is Kiyi."

"I thought your name was Kiyi," Zuko said, giving her a gentle encouraging smile.

"It's so good I used it twice!"

"That's a lovely dress she's wearing," I said, sitting down next to Zuko so I would be at eye level with Kiyi. "It matches yours."

"Thank you!" Kiyi gushed, "I made it, it's not very good, but that's ok."

Azula muttered something under her breath that I didn't quite hear, but Zuko must have because he turned toward her and firmly said "Azula, stop it."

Whatever reaction to that she would have had was saved by Noren and Sokka's entrance.

Noren passed around some truly delicious tea and bao as we chatted, and Aang and Sokka asked most of the questions about Ursa under the guise that we were drama historians. Katara and I shared a look at that.

Our hosts didn't share much that we didn't already know, they even seemed to think Ursa marrying Ozai was more of a rumor than the truth.

"What about Ikem?" Zuko asked, clearly attempting to be casual. I could tell how nervous he was to bring up his alleged real father, tensing his shoulders and holding his hands in fists.

Noren raised an eyebrow. "Ikem? You've really done your research. He was another one of the actors I believe, Ursa's boyfriend. He disappeared not long after she left for the Capital."

"Folks say he ran off to Forgetful Valley," Noriko added.

"Forgetful Valley?" Aang asked.

"A forest at the bottom of a canyon just outside of town," she explained, "the heartbroken go there to forget their lives. You know... I vaguely remember hearing that Ursa came back to town years later, looking for Ikem. They say she went after him to Forgetful Valley."

Zuko's breath hitched and I resisted the urge to reach out and comfort him, I didn't want to give anything away.

"That can't be true," Noren countered, "no one's seen or heard of her since she was taken to the Capital."

"Well if it is true, it's awfully romantic," Noriko said.

Her husband countered her but I stopped listening, my attention drawn to Azula who was looking out the window with a peculiar expression. I could only guess what was going on in her head.

Our small meal concluded soon after and we thanked the couple for their hospitality.

"You'll come again?" Kiyi asked, tugging on my and Zuko's sleeves, "please, please?"

Zuko smiled warmly, "I really hope so, Kiyi."

"Maybe we'll bring something for little Kiyi to go with her dress."

Kiyi jumped up and down, "Yes! Please! Thank you!"

Her father laughed and beckoned her back inside.

We made our way out of town and back to Appa, and the night was already starting to fall. Azula made some snide remarks about the family, which Katara admonished. Aang and Zuko walked on ahead, talking in hushed tones. I caught a few words, some of which were "I'm sorry for this morning," and figured I should let them talk.

"Nobody's that happy," Azula said, scrunching her nose in disgust.

"Aang and I are that happy!" Katara said.

"Because you two are idiots."

"Hey, let's just keep our heads on," I said, holding up my hands peacefully.

"You're even worse," Azula said, turning to me, "ruining any room you're in by hanging all over my brother."

"Don't speak to her like that!" Katara said, squaring up to Azula.

Sokka, thank the dragons, interrupted Aang and Zuko, bringing them over to redirect the group.

"Listen everyone. We only have one more place to visit, and then we're done, ok? We're going to Forgetful Valley."

___________________________

That night I held Zuko in my arms again, his head tucked under my chin, his steady breath warming my sternum.

I ran my fingers through his shaggy hair. "Your hair is getting long," I said, breaking the comfortable silence. Neither of us was finding sleep very easily. 

"It hasn't been long since before we were on the run, Uncle and I. We cut our hair together."

"You cut your hair to disguise yourselves?" I asked, pausing my hand's movements.

"In a way," Zuko said, "But hair, a top knot specifically, symbolizes honor in Fire Nation culture. I'd already been disowned by my father, but cutting my hair... I was disowning him, disowning the throne, the royal status."

"Will you keep it in a top knot again? When it's long enough?"

"I suspect it's long enough now," he said quietly.

My heart panged with a familiar ache. Everything Zuko's done for his people, for all people, and he still doesn't think he deserves it.

"Well," I said, hoping to lighten the tension in his shoulders, "I think you look handsome either way, boxito. What is it you're always telling me? Your hair looks nice when it's down."

He huffed a laugh but I felt his body relax, and eventually we both fell asleep.

___________________________

When morning came we geared up to explore the Forgetful Valley, leaving Appa behind at the entrance to the forest. Zuko's face was set in determination as he led the way into the overgrowth.

"Where do we go from here?" Katara wondered, as we picked our way over massive tree roots.

"I'm not sure there's even a path," Zuko said.

I looked back to see where we came from, but already the entrance to the forest was swallowed by branches. Even the sun struggled to make it through the canopy. I felt all of a sudden claustrophobic. 

"Come on Zuzu," Azula said, "for a true firebender there's always a path."

I was going to ask what she meant before she started blasting a blue inferno from her fists.

"Azula, stop!" I yelled.

"What are you doing?" cried Katara.

Azula stopped her fire, only after, of course, a path had been burned through the thicket of brush. Aang quickly bended mud up onto the flames to quell the blaze.

"Then I suppose one of you imbeciles has a better idea on how to proceed?" Azula asked, coy.

"Any idea is better than burning down half the forest!" Katara said.

"What did I tell you last time you did something like this?" Sokka demanded. "Oh yeah, nature hates you!"

I tried to give Zuko a look, but he just had his brow furrowed, his gaze cast on the ground.

"Quiet, guys," Aang said, his face in his hands, "I am detecting something with my special avatar powers..."

"Wait," I said, something foreign pressing into my mind, making the hair on my body stand on end, "I think I am too, it's faint but..." It was like a pull.

"Sweetie, not the face again!" Katara said with concern, putting her hand on Aang's shoulder who had a strange expression pulling his features.

"Don't tell me I look like that," I begged, bringing my hands up to my face.

Sokka turned to inspect me, "No, you look normal, but I think you guys are on to something. If you look carefully, there are faces all over the place!"

"Sokka, Aang can't help it, you're being a jerk."

"No look!" he enthused, "the leaves, the patterns on the squirrel toads, the tree bark, that giant-flutter bat even has a pattern like the face Aang is making!"

"Hey, you're right!" Aang said, starting after it.

"Aang!" Zuko called, "Don't run off by yourself, you don't know what's out there!"

But the avatar disappeared up a tree, airbending was probably involved, and we lost sight of him.

"If he gets himself killed..." Katara grumbled, making off in the direction he went.

With an exasperated sigh, we followed too, calling for Aang. The uneven ground slowed us down but eventually, we heard his "I'm over here," close by.

Breaking through the tree line, we found Aang standing by a perfectly clear pool of water in a little clearing. 

"Check this out," he said beckoning us closer.

"I've never seen water so clear and still," Katara said, stepping forward to inspect it.

"Like a perfect pane of glass," Zuko nodded.

"And a perfect circle too," I added. 

Aang took a deep breath. "This feels so familiar, so... tranquil... like Tui and La's pool in the Northern water tribe."

"Some kind of... portal to the spirit world?" I asked, not keen on accidentally slipping back into the spirit world in case the sun spirit decides she wants me to stay, for real this time.

"It could be. Regardless, this is a very spiritual place. Everyone be respectful-"

"You again!" screeched Azula, who was looking down at what appeared to be her own reflection in the water, "Don't you ever shut up?" she demanded, her fingers out bending lighting at the pool before any of us could stop it happening.

"Azula!" I shouted, stumbling forward to pull her away. It was difficult to see with the spray of water falling around the clearing.

She threw me off, turning to look at all of us. "She told you to lead me here, didn't she?!"

"Azula," I said, "who are you-"

She blasted blue flames directly at me. "So she could keep tormenting me with her lies!"

Zuko stepped between us, using his own fire to cut through hers. "That's enough!"

With effort, I summoned the purple flames and tried to approach her as Katara bended water from the pool up into a wall behind her.

Azula looked between me and the water, clearly trying to decide her next move as we were all suddenly assailed by tiny spinning blades. I ducked to avoid one, but still got scrapped on the side of my waist from another.

All of us, even Azula, retreated from the pool immediately at the barage, examining the throwing stars which scattered the ground and embedded themselves in the trees. They were beautiful pink flowers.

"These are the prettiest throwing stars I've ever seen," Aang marveled.

"Like the forest itself is attacking us," Katara added, inspecting them closely.

I looked around the clearing from where they'd come from, trying to spot any movement.

"It's because nature hates her!" Sokka said, just as a glint caught my eye.

"Heads up, more incoming!" Zuko shouted, and I ducked behind the wall of rock Aang pulled up from the ground. Sokka wasn't quite fast enough but managed to swat some flowers from the air with his club.

"Wait," Katara said, looking over at her brother, "I think I understand what's happening, you see how the flowers are shattering?"

I looked at the ground, the flowers did fall apart like shards.

"Shatter like ice," Katara said, "someone is bending the water in the flowers."

"And vines too!" Sokka said, throwing his boomerang at a vine that was hurtling toward Aang.

I spun around, just fast enough to blast fire at a group of spiky vines shooting toward my legs.

"A little help!" Zuko called, and I glanced over at him, vines caging him against a tree.

I started running over but was immediately tripped by another vine. I groaned in annoyance and pain as the cut on my waist stung. I blasted fire at the stupid plant until I could pull myself away.

"Nix," Zuko said appearing over me, having been cut away from the vines by Aang.

I accepted his outstretched hand and hauled myself up, looking up at the next onslaught of vines.

I shouldn't have worried though, as Katara rose her arms, twisting her body in a beautiful display of bending, the vines slowed and twisted away from us, passing us by safely.

"Whoever you are, you're not the only one who can waterbend. Show yourself."

"Woah," I muttered, very glad, as always, to be friends with Katara.

Katara gasped as two figures stepped out of the treeline.

An elderly woman with hunched stature and silvery hair led a man by the hand. It was hard to tell his age as his face was covered in a wooden mask. The two wore the unmistakable blue garb of the water tribe.

The woman introduced herself as Misu, and the man, her brother, as Rafa, hailing from the Northern water tribe. 

________________________

"I apologize for attacking you earlier," Misu said later as we sat around a cooking fire enjoying a stew she made for us all. I'd also taken the opportunity to discreetly heal the cut on my waist with some life fire. "My brother and I just aren't used to seeing other people around here. When we heard the commotion, we thought a forest animal was disturbing the pool. It must remain undisturbed."

"That's what I told them!" Aang said, voice muffled by the food in his mouth. Boys... "This is a very spiritual place."

"That's right, Avatar," Misu said, "There are actually three other pools just like this in the valley, which must all remain undisturbed."

"This stew is delicious," Sokka said, and we all nodded in our agreement, "it reminds me of..."

"Seaweed stew from the Northern Water tribe?"

"Yeah! That's it!"

Misu laughed, the gentle smile on her face looked rare but welcome. "Rafa and I make do with what we can find here."

"How do two people from the Northern Water Tribe end up in a Fire Nation Forest?" Katara asked.

Misu told us the tale of when she and her brother were. young, and the brash misfit Rafa had been. That one day, his luck had run out and his face had been stolen. Misu had studied for years to find a way to cure her brother, until she came across a spirit who dwelt in Forgetful Valley and could grant someone a new face. As she explained how she taught herself how to use her bending to fight I marvelled at her strength, and her story of sneaking into the Fire Nation to reach the forest, where the two had lived ever since hoping to meet the spirit who could help them.

We were all respectfully quiet after she'd finished her tale, until Sokka spoke up, "How come Rafa hasn't eaten anything?"

"Ever since the incident, Rafa's been caught between life and death, he doesn't eat, he doesn't do much of anything really."

"So you've spent almost your whole life trying to heal your brother?" Aang asked.

"Of course," Misu said, like it was the simplest thing in the world, "I'm his sister."

I glanced next to me at Zuko and Azula, who were both pointedly staring off at nothing, avoiding eye contact with everyone, and especially each other.

Azula cleared her throat. "Sorry to interrupt your sob story-"

"Azula!" I said, aghast.

"Don't be rude!" Zuko added.

"But we're here on a mission of our own, we're looking for a woman named Ursa."

"I'm sorry," Misu said, looking genuinely apologetic despite Azula's rudeness, "we haven't seen her. The forest was pretty quiet until you all arrived."

"So this spirit," Aang said, "What's it supposed to look like?"

"It is a she, and I don't know what she looks like, but when she approaches, the forest tells us."

"The faces," I said, "in the leaves, on the insects and animals."

"Precisely." Misu nodded.

"Well, then the spirit must be near!" Sokka said

"Then on a night like tonight, a giant wolf bearing the markings of a face travels from a far distance to drink from one of the four pools, it's from that pool the spirit will rise."

"That must be the wolf that puked moth-wasps at us!" Aang said.

"The spirit has passed through the forest many times since we've been here, but we always seem to be at the wrong pool." Misu sighed. "I believe we missed her again, the spirit would have been here by now if this was the right pool. I'm sorry brother, we'll keep trying."

"There's gotta be something I can do!" Aang said, rising to his feet, "I'm the avatar, the-"

"Great bridge between spirit and humans, we know!" Said Sokka, rolling his eyes.

Aang walked to the edge of the pool. "I'm gonna cross over to the spirit world and try to get the wolf to come here."

Aang sat in his meditation pose as Azula stood up. "Bah! This is a waste of time!"

She started stalking off into the woods and Zuko and I scrambled to our feet.

"Azula, where are you going?"

"Zuko-" I began, but he held up a hand.

"Nix, I got this, stay here."

His golden eyes flashed with resolve and I nodded, watching him go after his sister.

I twisted one of my bangles around my wrist and sat down next to Katara.

"Everything ok with Azula?" She asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know, I just hope Zuko doesn't get himself hurt."

"You think Azula will hurt him?" Katara sounded alarmed.

"He can defend himself, plus we're here, I just worry about him getting mentally of emotionally hurt. This is his family after all."

"True, but we seem to be close to figuring all this out, right? Aang will find the spirit and we..."

Katara trails off as we hear shouting from the woods. 

Azula runs passed us toward the river, yelling, "You hear me, mother? It's not going to work!"

I don't even have time to stand before there's lightning in her hands and she pointing it at me, Sokka, Katar, Misu, and Rafa.

"I said stop!" Zuko appears out of nowhere, reaching his hand out to meet the blinding bolt of electricity.

My chest seizes in fear, and then Zuko raises his arm, and lighting shoots into the sky with a great crack.

"Did you forget, Azula?" Zuko asked with menace, "I know how to deal with your lightning."

"I think I might be scared of Zuko again," Sokka muttered.

Standing there protecting all of us, commanding a powerful force that not even I can redirect... I think I might be in love with Zuko.

"Misu and Rafa have nothing to do with our mother!" Zuko said as Katara, Sokka and I stood, backing him up. "How could you even think-"

"That's exactly what she wants you to believe, Zuzu!" Azula said, completely unhinged, "How can you be so naive?"

"You're right. I have been naive." Zuko looked over his shoulder at us. "Take her down."

"It's about time!" Sokka said, charging toward Azula as Katara formed a whip out of water from the pool.

I hurled balls of purple flame at her and Azula dodged all our attacks.

"No! You mustn't disturb the water, the Avatar is trying to bring the spirit here!"

Katara had one of Azula's feet frozen to the ground, and Zuko and I had gotten close enough for me to bend purple flames into her mind.

"She's right, stop!" called a new voice, Aang, who must have risen from his avatar state trance while we were fighting.

"Aang, you're back!"

"Ugh, you scared me," Sokka complained, "I half expected to turn around and see another one of those creepy faces."

"Like those?" Aang asked, pointing to the pool.

I spun around in time to see gray faces appear on the surface of the water, eyes staring up into the sky unblinking.

"Listen to Misu everyone, no more fighting. We're about to have a visitor."

Soon the entire pool was full of spectral faces, and the surface of the water broke, a great big collum rising in the sky.

As the water fell away, a giant spirit was revealed. She towered over us, taller than a grand building. Her head was circular with many faces all the way around, with horns made of vines covering where her eyes would be and pointing upward. Her body was made of the same vines knitted together, forming a slender long-armed figure that emerged from the water still.

She was beautiful in the way all spirits all, but still not as magnificent as Xie.

"I am the mother of faces," boomed a great many-layered voice. "Through me, separateness came into the world, Through me came identity. The one became the many. I walk through my forest once a season, but never have I strayed from the path my wolf my wolf chooses for me. I do so now in deference to the Avatar, the great bridge between the spirit and the humans."

That will do wonders for Aang's ego.

"I am a generous spirit, softhearted and kind," the mother of faces continued, "Each season I grant one favor to one human. You may make your request now."

"Wait, just one?" Aang asked, looking between Zuko and Misu.

"One," the mother's voice boomed.

So if we wanted to ask her about Ursa, we couldn't do so without taking Rafa's new face from him.

"Humans like you often chase after me begging for a new identity. Has one among you come to do the same?"

Aang made a thinly veiled attempt at flattery to ask for two favors, which the spirit refused, as I glanced over at Azula who was sitting dejectedly, one of her feet still frozen to the ground.

"They've waited for so long," Zuko said with a smile on his handsome face, "if there's only one, it should be theirs."

"I'm sorry Zuko." Aang said.

"We'll keep looking for Ursa on our own," I assured him, taking his hand.

He squeezed it back and gave me a smile before beckoning Misu forward.

"Thank you, thank you!" she said, bowing slightly as she approached the mother of faces.

Misu began her request as a shattering crack sounded from behind me, I turned to see Azula had broken free from the ice, of course, and was already pushing us out of the way.

"We seek the princess of the Fire Nation, Ursa!" Azula shouted, interrupting Misu, "Tell me where to find her!"

"No!"

But it was too late, the request had been made, and the mother of faces had summoned an illuiory image of Ursa. She looked exactly as she had in the portraits around the palace.

"Ursa, I remember her. I could not understand why a human of such beauty would ask for a new face. To test her sincerity I offered her one as plain as could be. She accepted."

The image rippled and transformed, and we looked at the face of Noriko.

I gasped.

"Our mother is-" Zuko began, but was cut off by Sokka.

"She's gone! Azula!"

Zuko and I broke off in a run, spurred by unspoken realization.

"Wait!" Misu shouted, "if you're trying to get back to town, there's a shortcut this way."

"Thank you," Zuko said, and we doubled back.

"You were kind to us," Misu said.

"I'm so sorry-"

"Go," She stressed, and all but pushed us toward the alternate path.

"Guys!" Sokka shouted, catching up to us as we ran across through the forest, "I know sisters can be a pain to deal with, and mine's not even crazy! I'm here to back you up."

"Thanks Sokka."

Night had fully fallen by the time we reached town and arrived at Noren's house.

"It's quiet," I said as we hugged one of the exterioro walls with a window further down.

"Too quiet," Zuko said, straining forward to look into the window, soft warm light spilling over his face.

"What's going on in there," Sokka asked when Zuko remained silent, "Don't tell me Azula..."

"No. They're fine. They're eating dinner."

"Thank the spirits," I said, sneaking up to the window as well to look in.

"I thought maybe for a second there your sister had done something horrible," Sokka whispered, looking in as well.

"So, that's your mom," I said, watching Zuko's face.

"That's her," he said, his expression giving away nothing.

I put a hand on his arm. He met my gaze for a moment before seeming to make his mind up about something. 

"Listen, I'm going inside. Sokka, could you stay out here and watch out for Azula?"

"Sure thing good buddy."

"Nix, would you... can you come inside with me?"

"Of course," I said, leaning in to kiss his cheek, "whatever you need."

The door opened quickly after Zuko knocked, and Noren stood in the doorway.

"Noren," Zuko greeted, bowing politely, "I know it's late, but I-"

"I had a feeling you would return," he said.

"What do you mean?"

There was a high-pitched squeal before something short barreling into us for an unsuspecting group hug.

"You came back! You came back because we're best friends!" Kiyi said, pulling on both of our arms.

"Hi, Kiyi!" I said, unable to hide a smile.

"It's good to see you again," Zuko said, equally amused.

"Come eat dinner with us!" she demanded.

"I don't know-" Zuko began, but Noren was already closing the door and insisting that we stay to eat. 

I was nervous about Azula still, unsure how much time Misu's short cut really gave us, but then I saw Kiyi's excited smile and figured at least Sokka was on look out.

Kiyi pulled on my sleeve as I sat down in between her and Zuko. "Did you bring little Kiyi something like you promised?" She asked.

"Kiyi! It's rude to ask someone for gifts!" Noriko scolded.

"It's alright!" I said with an apologetic smile, "I did promise didn't I?" I slipped off two bangles from my wrists under the table where they wouldn't be seen. "I did bring something for you and little Kiyi-" I held up the gold bangles.

Kiyi bounced up and down where she sat.

"One for you to wear as a bracelet," I said, putting it on her outstretched wrist. It was too big for her but she'll grow into it. "And one for little Kiyi to wear as a necklace."

Kiyi took the other bangle with reverence and slipped it over her doll's head, it fit around her neck comfortably.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Kiyi said.

"This is too generous," Noriko said, and I understood where she was coming from, they were pure gold after all, "we can't accept such a gift-"

Kiyi began to pout but I shook my head.

"No, it's no trouble," I assured her. "In my culture, girls wear bangles as symbols for strength and resilience," I told Kiyi, giving her a wink, "which I see in you and little Kiyi."

"Thank you!" she squealed, "I am strong and resil-i-ence!"

I laughed and picked up my chopsticks, taking a bite of truly delicious food. 

"Your culture?" Noren asked, "What part of the Fire Nation are you from where they wear bangles?"

"Well... um..." I glanced at Zuko.

"Nix is actually a sun warrior," he said.

Noriko and Noren both raised their eyebrows in shock.

"A Sun warrior?" he asked, "well we're honored to have you in our home."

"Daddy, what's a sun warrior?" Kiyi asked.

Noren politely deferred the question to me.

"Well, we're a proud people who serve dragons. We've been in hiding for a long time, but then your Fire Lord came to our island, and our priestess decided that we were done hiding. So, I got to come and visit your beautiful town and meet you."

"Cool!" Kiyi said, returning to her meal without understanding the implications of what I said as her parents did. 

There was a lull in the conversation and Noriko spoke up, "You haven't touched your food yet," she said to Zuko, "is something wrong?"

"Do you do this every night?" Zuko asked.

"What, eat dinner?" Kiyi asked, "doesn't everybody eat dinner every night?"

"No I meant eat dinner together, like this."

"Yes, of course," Noriko said, and I was wondering if I should start thinking of her as Ursa. "That's why we're eating dinner so late," she continued, "I insisted we wait until Noren got home."

"I appreciate that dear, rehearsal ran over."

"So what brings you back this way?" she asked, looking between me and Zuko, "looking for more details on Hira'a's acting troupe?"

"No, I came to find..." Zuko swallowed, "Tell me, Noriko, are you happy?"

"What an odd thing to ask," she remarked.

I nearly held my breath, worried that she was going to get suspicious.

"Just answer me, please."

"Yes, of course, I'm where I belong," She said with a smile.

And then Zuko smiled, and he looked at me. "We've bothered you folks enough. Have a good evening."

I followed Zuko's lead and stood up with him, turning to leave.

"No, stop." Noren said suddenly. 

We stopped and turned to face them.

"Noriko, I knew this moment would come sooner or later."

"What’s going on?" She asked, and my heart ached for her, for the pain she experienced, the years she lost, and the abuse locked behind those erased memories.

"Go ahead young man," Noren said, "Do what you came to do. Tell her you haven’t forgotten who you are."

"Nix?" Zuko asked, looking at me.

"It’s all you, boxito," I said, reaching out to briefly give his hand a reassuring squeeze. "It’s what you came to do."

My boyfriend stood with his back straight, his shoulders back, his head high. "My name is Zuko, I am the Lord of the Fire Nation, and I am your son."

In light of his revelation, the room was completely silent.

"When I saw you in the crowd, I immediately recognized you by your scar," Noren admitted, "I had learned all I could about Ursa’s life in the palace, I knew it would come back to haunt us someday." Then Noren bowed deeply, "Forgive me for not confessing the whole truth to you before, Fire Lord. I had hoped to give you enough information to satisfy you, yet still protect my home here with Ursa."

"Ursa?" Noriko asked.

"That was your old name, my love, from your old life. You were once a princess of the Fire Nation. You had two children, one of whom," he nodded to Zuko, "grew up to be the Fire Lord."

"Mommy?" Kiyi asked, now clinging to her mother. "What is Daddy talking about?"

"You don’t remember any of this because a powerful spirit altered your memories."

So there, it was all out in the open now, the full-

"I also have an old name," Noren continued, "I used to be known as Ikem."

I gasped and Zuko and I shared a look of disbelief.

"Then… then maybe this is where I belong too!" He said, "With my mother, my sister, and, and my father."

"No, but, that’s not possible, Ursa and I never-"

A loud crash sounded from outside. Oh no, Azula-

"What is that? What's going on?"

"Stay here," Zuko said, "We'll go find out."

"Zuko," I said, "it must be-"

"There's something on out roof!"

I had all of two seconds to shield Noriko, Noren, and Kiyi with my body before the ceiling came crashing down; Sokka, Azula, and a flash of deadly lightning falling through.

"I said get out of my way!" Azula roared, her flaming heel connecting with Zuko's chest, sending him flying backward.

"Finally!" Azula said, standing on their table over Noriko, " I can't tell you how long I've dreamed of this moment!

"Azula!" I said, trying to draw her attention as a new bolt of lightning began to form around her hands. I knew how to redirect lightning theoretically, and if nothing else, Zuko had the life fire pendant...

"Tell me mother, did you have a new daughter because your last one turned out to be such a monster?"

"Stay back, Azula," Sokka said, regaining his footing.

"We're not letting you hurt her," I added, burning purple flames in my hands.

"Ha! You really think that you two could do anything to stop me now that I'm so close to finally-"

Sokka's boomerang spun in through the hole in the roof and hit Azula in the back of her head before landing back in Sokka's outstretched hand.

"Everybody scatter!"

Sokka ushered some people out of the building, it was too smoky from the fire to see exactly who, and I tried to help Zuko up while Azula was down.

Zuko was groggy, his full weight leaning on me, but I got him standing as Azula started shouting again. I turned and my stomach dropped, she has Noriko pinned against a wall.

"Azula, let her go!" Zuko cried, and we struggled toward her as Zuko regained his footing.

"Stay back! I'm warning you!"

"If what you say is true," Noriko began, "if I really am your mother... then I'm sorry I didn't love you enough."

Azula was stunned for a moment, and Zuko was able to hold himself up. I crept behind her and lit my hands aflame with purple life fire, bringing them to her temples.

Crying out, Azula fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face, and I could feel the fraying edges of her mind, the pain she felt, the delusions she'd suffered. The broken pathways that I'd tried to reform had gotten even worse since the last time I treated her.

"Don't you get it Zuzu?" Azula cried, "You and I will finally be free! You of a throne you never wanted, and me of this incessant nagging in my head!"

Despite her words, Azula was rooted to the spot, no longer trying to pull away.

"No, you're wrong." Zuko said simply.

"Why? Why?" Azula shivered with the force of her sobs. I did my best to ease the sections of her mind that flared up as she spoke. "The other morning when you had me over the cliff, why didn't you just let go? You could have gotten rid of me and his letter."

There was a profound sadness to her words, an almost suicidal tint to them as she pulled the aforementioned letter out.

"Don't you need me to help you be free?" Azula asked, and finally, I could feel the root of it all. She needed someone to need her, to need her so badly that they'd never abandon her. 

Ursa, Zuko, Iroh, her friends, even Ozai, everyone had abandoned Azula. It had all proved her darkest thoughts right, that she was unworthy of love. So if people wouldn't stay for love, then Azula would use something else, anything else to make people stay.

Fear, hatred, blackmail, anything.

Something clicked into place, and after bending so much of the purple life fire, I was fatigued enough to let it go. Azula stayed where she was.

"Azula, in my heart I know- I've always known-" Zuko pulled something from his pockets, bringing his hands up to place the crown headpiece in his hair, in his top knot, "The throne is my destiny. That morning on the cliff... our relationship is so messed up. It's been like that as long as I can remember, and maybe it'll be like that for the rest of our lives. But one fact never changes. No matter what, you're still my sister."

"Just... shut up! Azula said suddenly, breaking out in a run from the little house. Zuko ran after her but my eye caught on a slip of white on the floor. Azula left the letter.

"Azula, come back!" 

I followed everyone outside, Azula already had a far lead.

"Please, I can help you! I want to help you!" Zuko called.

Azula looked over her shoulder, tears in her eyes, and then disappeared into the forest's edge.

"Zuko," I said, catching up to him, "the letter."

He took it from me wordlessly, and I was about to ask him if he was ok when Noriko spoke up.

"Fire Lord, Nix, look."

The mother of faces stood in the distance, appearing many times taller than she had earlier. How she towered over mountains, glowing against the night sky she lumbered toward us. I was about to panic before I saw Appa and Aang's gliders in the air with the spirit coming toward us.

"Human," the mother of faces began, "do you wish to return to who you once were? Do you wish to remember?"

"No," Zuko said, "You have such a beautiful life here-"

"Yes."

And the spirit reached down, a brilliant light filling my vision.

_________________________________

Ursa was beautiful, even years of age did not hide that fact. It also didn't hide the fact that Kiyi's mother looked like a stranger to her. It was odd, but the little girl held onto her doll and strayed strong as Aang and Katara caught us up on the good news for Misu and Rafa, and we helped clean up what could be cleaned in Norren and Ursa's home.

Her memory came back in stuttering bursts and then all at once around sunrise. I did what I could with some purple life fire to ease the pain of the reforming pathways in her memory and nervous system, but it still took it's toll on her.

When she seemed to return to herself, I let her and Zuko have privacy to talk.

They spoke for some time as we planned an Azula search party, and finished when it was time for lunch.

I pulled Zuko aside.

"How was your talk?"

"It was good, I needed it, but Phoenix, Ozai is my father after all."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "But the letter-"

"Was a lie. But, it's ok, I'm ok." He smiled reassuringly.

I breathed in and out. If Zuko says he's ok, then I should take him at his word.

"Your hair is up," I said, returning his smile, reaching up to brush away the little fringes of hair on his forehead that were still too short to be pulled back.

"What is it you always say?" He asked, echoing my words from a few nights ago.

I tilted my head in confusion.

"I can't fight with my hair in my face. I'm the Fire Lord, I have a lot of fighting to do."

"Metaphorically speaking, I hope," I said, draping my arms around his shoulders.

"Metaphorically speaking," he smirked, hands resting on my waist as he leaned down for a gentle kiss. 

Chapter Text

The water rushed by the ship, a gentle shushing sound washing out the laughter from Kiyi and Aang who were riding a flying dolphin-fish out in the open water. Katara and Sokka bickered next to me on the deck and I finally felt at ease after our time in Hira'a.

Perhaps it was the Azula-sized hole in our party that was the reason for my selfish ease. We'd stayed in Hira'a for two extra weeks searching for her, but nothing. I could only hope she wasn't causing trouble, wherever she was.

"The captain says we're only a day away from the main island," said a voice coming up from below deck, "So much has changed mother, I can't wait to show you around!"

I turned to see my boyfriend, dressed in his handsome Fire Lord attire, walking up with his mother and stepfather. 

Ursa brushed his fringe away fondly. "You still get that sparkle in your eyes when you're excited, Zuko, just like when you were little."

"Mom, please," Zuko said, though still with a smile, "I'm the Fire Lord now."

"Of course," she said, taking her husband's hand.

I walked over, nodding my head in a polite bow, "Lady Ursa, Noren," I greeted, "how are you this morning?" I still wasn't sure how formal I was supposed to be with my boyfriend's until-recently-estranged mother.

They returned the bow and Noren smiled good-naturedly, "I've no complaints, Lady Phoenix!"

Zuko put his arm around my shoulders in greeting as he turned to face his mom. "It's going to be so good to have you back home."

Ursa nodded and smiled, but her eyes didn't crinkle, and I could tell the smile was forced. I could only imagine how hesitant she felt about returning to a place of such trauma, no matter how much she assured Zuko she was happy to come visit.

Maybe I should talk with him about that...

Suddenly Ursa gasped and called out for Kiyi. I jumped a bit as she rushed over to the side of the ship, shouting for Kiyi to come back.

We ran over as Katara assured her Kiyi was perfectly safe with Aang. Nevertheless, the Avatar flew them back to ship in seconds, and Ursa scooped up her youngest daughter, muttering "I can't lose you, I can't!"

Kiyi broke from her mother's hold and ran up to Noren, hugging his leg. "Daddy, I wanna go downstairs!"

I held my breath in sorrow as Ursa collapsed, and Noren, holding his daughter, watched his wife sadly.

She nodded and Noren reassured Kiyi, carrying her back to the quarters below deck.

Zuko knelt with his mother, speaking softly and I looked at Aang, Katara, and Sokka who also seemed at a loss.

"Ursa, I'm so sorry I worried you! Believe me, flying dolphin-fishes are among the gentlest in the world-"

"No, Avatar, I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm embarrassed I overreacted like that."

She stood, graceful as ever, "if you'll excuse me," and walked to the railing at the edge of the ship, watching the water go by.

I gestured everyone away, including Zuko who looked desperately like he wanted to go comfort his mother. But it was clear, to Katara and I at least, that the poor woman wanted to be left alone.

"I feel horrible," Aang commiserated.

"You did nothing wrong," Katara said, "she's just going through a hard transition, it's likely that little things like this will remind her of bigger things and bring up those bad memories."

I nodded, "It's something that just takes time. Which she has now, well, all of us do, really."

"I wish there was something more I could do to help," Zuko said.

Katara and I shared a look and she suddenly got Aang and Sokka to help her with something about Appa's saddle.

Taking Zuko's hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze, I led him to the pai sho table set up by the bow of the ship. We sat down and he nodded toward the others with a slight smile, "Subtle, Nix."

"Do you blame me?" I asked, "I'm worried for you too, you know."

"What's there to worry you? I'm fine, I just got my mom back, we should be concerned for her after all she's been through."

"Boxito, you just got your mom back," I said, taking his hand, "Losing her has been a wound that you've carried for years, to have her back again doesn't erase that pain, those scars."

He took a deep breath, running his thumb along my knuckles. Moisture sparkled in his eyes. 

"How do you feel?" I asked him quietly.

"Like I'm gonna lose her again any second."

I nodded, "Well, I'm pretty sure you won't but just... don't hold on too tight, give her the time she needs to heal, and take the time you need for yourself too."

"And you're not..." He looked me in the eye. "You're not going anywhere, either."

It was a statement but sounded like a question.

"No," I said firmly, squeezing his hand, "of course not. Zuko you know I..." the words got stuck under my tongue, the quiet secret I'd been sitting on for... well, months now.

"What? Nix, are you ok?"

"Yes, just... when I met the sun in the spirit world... there's something I didn't tell you."

"Oh no, are you hurt, did something happen?"

"I'm not hurt, I'm not hurt," I reassured him, trying an apologetic smile, "No, it's just, the sun, Xie, she... well she wants me to come home."

"Come home? To Mokuxa?"

"No, to her, to the spirit world. But not like, right now!" I added quickly, noting the panic crossing his face. "Sorry, she's letting me finish this life, and whenever I die, hopefully in many years, I'll join her, which will end my rebirth cycle."

"Oh. Oh," Zuko said, something dawning on his face, "those notes you took when we met the professor about Yu Dao, I thought you were just being thorough but it's because..."

"Yeah." I pulled one of my hands up to slide over my face, hiding my huff of embarrassment, "Sorry, I didn't mean to make this conversation about me, it's just we haven't had time to talk with everything going on, and it's not like it was a priority with Azula and finding your mom-"

"Phoenix," he said tugging on my hand still in his to pull my attention. I met his eyes. "It's ok. Thank you for telling me. What do you want to do about this? I'm assuming Mokuxa doesn't know?"

"No, definitely not, I have no idea how to bring it up with the elders. I was honestly hoping to just... not. Instead help them set up a new form of government that doesn't rely on me, or a head priestess for that matter, so that when I die they're already..."

"Right," he nodded, "well I'm here, whatever you need I can help. Not just as Fire Lord, but as your partner, your boyfriend."

I sighed, letting myself smile. "Thank you, Zuko. And the same goes for you with your family and anything else. We're a team."

He grinned, the wind rustling his fringe that was still too short to go into the crown now proudly on his head. His familiar golden eyes looked into mine and I almost laughed with the rising warmth in my chest at the man in front of me. So different than when I met him.

"Are you laughing?" he teased, tilting his head in that adorable way.

"No!" I said, laughing, "I'm just feeling sentimental!"

He pulled on my hands and I happily leaned forward, meeting him in a kiss, his lips smiling.

That evening just after the sun set and the sky turned a glowing dark blue, Zuko and I met Aang, Katara, and Sokka on top of the deck with Momo and Appa, whose saddle bags were packed.

"You guys are leaving, already?" Zuko asked, frowning.

"Yep," said Aang.

"Going back to the Capital City is going to bring up all sorts of stuff for your mom, for Kiyi, for all of you," Katara explained.

"You need to figure it out as a family," Aang added kindly.

"We'll just be in the way," said Sokka, "especially the flying dolphin-fish rider over here."

"You guys haven't really had any bonding time yet, Zuko," Katara said, "this will be your chance."

"I guess that makes sense," Zuko replied, looking to me for some kind of support.

I nodded, "I'm sure less general chaos will make things easier for Ursa, especially of the flying dolphin-fish variety."

That at least, got everyone to laugh as we thanked the trio for their help and gave our goodbye hugs.

"We'll see each other before you know it!" Aang called as Appa took off, "Yu Dao's inaugural celebration is in a week!"

When Appa had all but disappeared in the sky, we turned to head back inside. Zuko suddenly stopped in his tracks, Ursa had made her way to the railing on the starboard side of the ship, watching the water silently.

Zuko looked at me again and I gave him an encouraging smile. 

"I'll head downstairs, you go."

He gave me a quick kiss and departed to comfort his mother.

I went down to the bunk room I'd shared with Katara, which somehow felt smaller without her, and grabbed my journal to pen a few things in.

Not 30 minutes later there was a knock on my door and I opened it to find Zuko there who hurried in without warning.

"Hey, is something-"

He closed the door behind him and turned back to me, breathing heavier than usual.

"Nix, do you remember when we heard rumors about an underground New Ozai society and you told me not to worry but I secretly asked the Kyoshi warriors to investigate it anyway?"

"You asked the-" I shook my head, "well considering your reaction right now I'd say you were right anyway, what happened?"

He gave me a scroll and I unfurled it, reading the letter from the Kyoshi warriors.

I looked up, "Ok, so this is bad."

______________________

That morning we explained the change of plans to Ursa and Noren, and I smiled in the delight of Noren and Kiyi as the submarine breached the surface of the water next to the ship.

The submarine had barely reached buoyancy by the time Iroh was popping out of the hatch, waving over in greeting.

"Thank you for watching over things while I've been away," Zuko said, embracing his uncle once he was safely on board, "I don't know how to repay you!"

"Seeing that your trip was successful is repayment enough," Iroh said, turning to give me a quick but fierce hug.

"Iroh!" Ursa said in happy surprise.

Iroh bowed deeply to her. "Lady Ursa, I am tremendously grateful for the opportunity to see you again! Let me express how sorry I am for all the pain you suffered at the hands of my family."

Ursa pulled Iroh, her brother-in-law, into a hug, "Iroh what are you apologizing for? You presence in the family always gave me hope."

"Suki, thank you for your help with all this," Zuko said as I pulled the Kyoshi warrior into a smiling embrace. 

"No problem!" She said, slinging an arm around my shoulders and punching one of Zuko's in a friendly manner. "We really had to hustle, but we're prepared to follow your plan down to the last detail. I'll be your family's escort up the hidden road while the decoy travels the main road."

"You were able to find a decoy then?" I asked. I was prepared to do it myself but my skin was too dark to be mistaken for the Fire Lord, even in make up and a costume.

"Well, Iroh volunteered..." Suki said.

Zuko turned to the short old man, "No offense Uncle, but we don't really look alike..."

"Oh but the crowds won't see my face, just my hand!" Iroh turned his face dower and raised his hand in a waving demonstration. "What do you think, is my hand-waving filled with enough angst?"

Suki and I burst out laughing and Zuko cringed.

"Well, we should probably get moving, don't you think?" I asked Suki after I composed myself.

"Yes," she said, beckoning over the others.

"Wow! You look super strong!" Kiyi said, bounding along the bridge to the submarine.

"Thank you! So do you," Suki said to the little girl as we boarded.

It was my first time in one of the submarines, so Suki helped me in the hatch. I looked over to see Zuko couched down with Kiyi, she looked reluctant but moved over to take Ursa's hand as they disappeared from my view.

The submarine was cozy and dark, but there were enough windows to see the fish swim by, and Kiyi and I played a game giving them silly names to pass the time. 

It was an efficient process to disembark the submarine and get into the caravan, the Kyoshi warriors formed a heavy guard on their rhino-lizards and I felt confident that we would be completely safe. Zuko however, had my hand in a vise grip the second we settled into the carriage.

"It will be ok," I whispered to him as Kiyi excitedly babbled about the rhino-lizard outside her window.

"I know," he whispered back, "we're just so close, I'm afraid it's all going to go wrong ."

I kissed his cheek and we continued on quietly.

We were deep in the forest when a big crash sounded outside. Zuko had the door open in an instant, leaning out and asking what happened.

Suki said something that I couldn't quite make out, but I leaned over to the other carriage door, pulling back the curtain to spot something bright near the base of a tree just as Zuko shouted. "Get down!"

Ignoring him, I used my body to block the door as Ursa, Kiyi, and Noren ducked in a huddle.

"Free Fire Lord Ozai! Power to the Fire Nation!" came shots from the forest as I slipped from the carriage, closing the door behind me.

"Ready yourselves for a fight, sisters!" Suki called from the other side of the carriage.

I could only hope that Zuko was able to hold his own over there as the Kyoshi warriors on my side and I watched cloaked figures appear on top of the toppled trees that were boxing us in like sitting ducks.

"Imposter! Imposter!" They chorused.

One who seemed to be the leader posted up. "Zuko! The time has come for you to return the throne to the one true Fire Lord!" he said. "We demand that you step down at once! Do so peacefully and no harm shall come to your family."

"Let me get this straight" Zuko called, "you expect me to give up my destiny- my rightful place in the nation- just because a bunch of thugs too cowardly to show their faces asked me to?"

I smiled, watching the leader balk. "Well... yes."

Zuko laughed and launched a fire ball toward the man.

The fight broke out, and we were immediately outnumbered, but there didn't seem to be many benders among their number. Suki lit the distress flare as I blasted a wide arch of fire to push the assailants away from the carriage. One of the Kyoshi warriors worked together with me, using their fans to help my blasts of fire rain downward where they couldn't avoid them. The enemies were falling, but more appeared just as fast. One appeared with some kind of canon thing, and he pointed it right at me, but one of the Kyoshi warriors slammed him in the shoulder and he twisted, the wires leaving the cannon spinning and twisting around one of his comrades instead, forcing him to the ground.

We were barely holding our own when one of the cloaked figures took off his disguise and threw his trap canon to the ground.

"This is wrong!" The man announced. He couldn't have been much older or younger than I was. "Master, I won't let you hurt these people!"

I missed whatever the 'master' responded with as I intercepted a throwing star that was headed right for the window of the carriage. More throwing stars came from above and I was so focused on avoiding them that I didn't notice one of the Kyoshi warriors get wrapped up in wires, and more assailants closed in around the carriage.

There was a shout from above and I risked the precious seconds to look up, watching more Kyoshi warriors, Iroh, and... was that Mai?- descending from an airship into the fray.

Mai and Zuko were shouting about something to do with someone named Kei Lo- maybe the man who switched to our side?- and Ty Lee helped me up onto the top of the carriage where I could send a sweeping wall of fire onto the tops of the trees blocking us in on the east side, where most of their reinforcements seemed to be coming in from.

When I spun around to find Zuko, he was surrounded by firebenders, his back up against the carriage.

"Fitting isn't it?" Jeered one of them, "The imposter Fire lord meets his end in a roaring fire!"

"Up here," I whispered, hopefully loud enough for Zuko to hear from below me, "the dancing dragon."

"Let him have it new Ozai society!"

And Zuko was jumping up to join me on the roof of the carriage. In unison we twisted, pulling up their flames to harmlessly pass around the carriage. As a safety precaution, I added life fire to the swirling inferno, turning the whole thing into a roaring technicolor. It spun upwards into the sky and I looked at Zuko opposite me in the form.

Despite the circumstances he was beautiful, wreathed in flame and power, practically glowing with it. And there was that thought again, in the center of my mind as the flames dissipated, that I love him.

I jumped down from the carriage as the enemies fell back in awe and fear.

"New Ozai Society!" Zuko announced, standing triumphant before us, "This is your last chance. Surrender now or face the wrath of your Fire Lord!"

By the dragons, Zuko is hot.

They all immediately surrendered or ran for their lives. 

Zuko hopped down from the carriage and we opened the door. Noren, Ursa, and Kiyi were all safe.

We then did what we could to detain all those who surrendered and capture those who tried to run, but some of them got away, including the leader.

___________________________

Upon arriving at the palace, we thanked the Kyoshi warriors profusely.

"It was an honor," Suki said, giving us a little wink along with her bow, "for our friends the Fire Lord and the Phoenix."

"Hey, Suki, what happened with Mai?" Zuko asked as the other warriors started heading out.

"Well, she was the one who helped inform us, and she volunteered to join the decoy."

"She volunteered?" I asked, somewhat skeptical based on her previous interactions with us, with Zuko.

Suki shrugged, "She seemed sincere, and turns out she was. She headed home when we all got back to the city."

"Um... where is she living these days?" Zuko asked. I glanced at his profile, he looked awkward asking.

"I can let you know her address," Suki said before saying goodbye and departing with the rest of her warriors.

"Everything ok?" I asked when she was out of earshot.

"Yeah, just... wondering why she..."

"Had a change of heart?"

Zuko nodded, "I thought she hated my guts after everything."

"Should I be jealous?" I teased, mostly as a joke but there was a little seed of anxiety in my chest anyway. Mai looked beautiful still, and fought well with us.

"No, no of course not," Zuko said, sweeping me up in his arms and peppering my face with kisses.

I laughed, pushing him away slightly, "Ok, ok, just checking." Indulgently, I pulled his lips into a firm kiss, the orange sunset behind him reminding me of standing in the life fire inferno with him earlier.

"We should probably head inside," I said after we parted, "You mom is waiting."

He brightened and took my hand, leading me to catch up with Noren, his mother, and his sister.

At the threshold Zuko pushed open the grand palace doors. "Here we are."

"Wow!" marveled Kiyi. "I knew it was big but I didn't think it would be this big! Come on Daddy, let's go exploring!" She said, pulling on her father's arm.

"Kiyi sweetheart, maybe we should rest first, we've had a pretty dramatic afternoon." Noren protested, dragging his feet as his daughter pulled him along.

"What's the big deal?" Kiyi whined, "I knew Zuzu would keep us safe, come on!" and they disappeared into the palace.

"Zuzu?" Zuko echoed quietly, rooted to the spot.

"Where did she pick that up?" I asked, "Did...?"

"I'm not sure," Ursa said, looking equally frozen. I was caught suddenly by how alike she and Zuko looked.

"Gotta admit," Zuko said after a moment, finally stepping forward, "It sounds much nicer coming from her than from Azula."

I made to follow him but glanced back over my shoulder.

Ursa stood right on the threshold, looking at the fine red carpet of the palace before her.

I stepped next to her. "Lady Ursa, may I take your arm? I'm sure you're tired from all the excitement today."

She blinked at me, a look of thanks forming on her face. "Phoenix... yes, thank you." My boyfriend's mother linked her arm in mine and we stepped into the palace together. 

"Mom, we can show you to your old rooms!" Zuko said brightly.

"One of the guest rooms will be fine," Ursa said plainly.

Maybe it would be easier for her to be in the palace for the first time again with a near stranger than her son. She obviously loves Zuko, but I can tell how difficult it all is.

"Boxito," I said, "I can help your mom settle in if you want to check in with your Uncle."

Zuko turned to find his Uncle walking in. He glanced back at us once more and I gave him a reassuring nod.

"Thank you," Ursa said when we were far enough away. "It's difficult to be back. I thought it would be different, things are different, but..."

"I could never truly understand what you've been through," I said, steering her down a path that would avoid the hall of portraits, "but it's ok that things are still hard. You're not disappointing Zuko by feeling this way. He'll understand, out of everyone, he'll understand. Most of Zuko's pain is behind him now, but all of yours has been... forced back upon you. It would be disorienting for anyone."

Ursa stopped, looking right at me with those same golden eyes her son had. "He is very lucky to have you."

I blushed, "Oh, uh, thank you..."

"Had I been alone," she said, continuing down the hallway, "I might have been tempted to walk through the hall of portraits, despite my better judgment."

So she did notice after all.

"Thank you for that too, Phoenix."

I nodded, arriving to the nicest guest quarters in the palace. It's where we normally had visiting royalty (or royalty adjacent) stay, so I figured Zuko would have no qualms with his mother and her family staying in them.

"I'll leave you to rest," I said, opening the door for her, "but I live here in the palace, so if you ever need me, for anything, let me know."

She gave me an unexpected hug and made her resignation.

I found a guard and let him know where Lady Ursa and her family would be staying so they could post guard at their quarters, and I returned to my own room, beginning to leaf through the mountain of notes and letters that accumulated during my absence. 

_______________________________

It was late and I was starting to nod off at my desk when someone knocked on my door.

"Zuko," I said, smiling at the figure in my doorway.

"Nix, would you like to come watch the stars with me?"

"Of course," I wrapped myself up in one of my shawls and we snuck out of the palace, making our way to the flat roof above the east side which looked out over the royal gardens. Zuko and I had come up here often over the years, mostly for late-night chats.

Tonight though, he reclined on the roof and pulled me into him, slipping my ponytail from its tie.

"Will she be ok?" he asked, running his fingers through my hair.

"She needs time. When the mother of faces returned her memories, I suspect she relived them all again."

"It's horrible," he sighed, pressing his lips to my forehead.

"Do you wish she hadn't said yes to the mother of faces?"

"No... I don't know. I'm so happy to have her back, but for her to feel all that pain again..."

"It's what she chose, you can't beat yourself up about it."

"Is it selfish of me?"

"You're about the least selfish person I know, Zuko," I said, huffing a laugh. "Just be patient with her."

"I can be patient."

I propped myself up on my elbow, looking down at him. My stomach swooped as I leaned down to kiss him. All the time's we'd kissed and it still felt new and wonderful. I laid a hand on his chest, my palm against the little bit of skin exposed by the parting of his robe.

He slid one hand around my waist and the other cupped my cheek, deepening the press of our lips together. Should I tell him now? That I'm in love with him?

"What if we got married?" Zuko asked suddenly, pulling back.

"Married?" I asked, trying to figure out how I felt about the question in my shock, "I don't know..."

"Is that something you want from life?" he asked, piercing gold eyes catching mine in their gaze, his face so close to mine.

"It's not something I ever thought I'd have," I said truthfully.

"You've never thought of getting married?" he asked.

I laid my head back down on his chest, casting my eyes up to the stars, "Well, it's not exactly a part of the cycle of the Phoenix. I mean, growing up reading my predecessor's journals, they all spent most of their time with the dragons, the Priestly duties came before all else."

"But not for you?" he asked, hopeful.

"No. The dragons haven't really commented on how I'm living, even the tirbe has been supportive of my time here in the Fire Nation, like they all understand that I'm doing important work here."

"Do they still expect you to return someday?"

"Probably, but right now everything is in development, Itzel is standing in for me, we're in a peaceful time. But if we did, get married-" Could I let myself even imagine it? "-would we stay in the Fire Nation capital? You do have a bit more to run than I do."

"Well, yeah I suppose, I kind of have this image of us staying here, I'm sure visiting Mokuxa often, but here we'd build our life, spend time with my mother, have a kid, live peacefully..."

"Have a kid..." I echoed.

"I mean, we could have more than one, though I'm not sure I'd want my kids to have as bad of a sibling relationship as I did."

A kid... with Zuko?

"You need an heir," I said dumbly.

"Well, yeah, I'm Fire Lord, and an heir for you is not really an issue, even ending the rebirth cycle. I kind of need to go about it the traditional way."

I sat up, my stomach tangling itself into knots, squeezing my insides.

"Zuko, I don't- I never-" 

"Nix, what's wrong? If this is moving too fast I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you," he sat up next to me, reaching his hands to my shoulders. The contact helped ground me. "It's just, with my mother home now, everything seems to be..."

"Zuko... you know how women have a cycle that tells them when is the best time to have children and if they're with child or not..."

Zuko blushed, "Um, yeah..."

"I've never had it before... Zuko, I don't think I can have children."

I felt myself shrink under his eyes on me, his expectation, his hope. And what made it worse, I saw it too, I wanted it too, a future with him, with a kid, with a family, with happiness. I was letting him down, stealing him for myself when I knew I could never give him what a wife should- must. If he had been anyone but the Fire Lord this wouldn't be an issue. But he needs an heir, a successor, the peaceful transition of power depends on it, and I can't give that to him.

Zuko was silent, for once his expression was unreadable and he was frozen in place.

So instead I kissed him on the cheek, just barely, and pulled myself away, making my way off the roof and to my quarters where I could shed a few tears in peace.

How could I possibly tell him I love him now?

Chapter Text

A  wonderful month passed in relative peace, but, we missed the inauguration of Yu Dao, busy with forming and organizing a task force to hunt down the remaining members of the New Ozai Society. We weren't getting very close, but there hadn't been any more attacks or concerns since our arrival. Mai's new boyfriend Kei Lo, was very cooperative and helpful with the effort, but most of his intel seemed outdated.

Thankfully, I hadn't seen Mai since our return, and I could focus on things with Mokuxa and helping Ursa, Noren, and Kiyi settle in.

Itzel came to visit from Mokuxa with Zyanya. We had much business to discuss, but she was still able to deliver a special item I'd requested when she arrived.

"It's so lovely to meet your family, Fire Lord," Itzel said as we sat down for the welcome dinner the night of her arrival. Zuko sat at the head of the table and I on his right with Itzel next to me. Kiyi insisted on sitting next to her brother, and was still refusing to sit next to Ursa, so Noren sat between them across the table from us. Zyanya would have joined, but she'd gotten horrible seasickness and resigned to her guest quarters.

"And nice to meet you," Ursa said gracefully, "I beg your pardon, but how should we address you? I'm afraid I'm not as familiar with the sun warrior custom as I should be."

"Oh, just Itzel is fine!"

"Itzel serves our people as an elder, but she's really like an older sister to me," I said.

"Oh, how lovely."

"Is it true you have a stellar observatory in Mokuxa?" Noren asked.

"Yes it's true," Itzel said as the first course was set on the large dining table. "That's one of the reasons for my visit, we're planning to build a new one even better than the last, there's been interest in turning it into a university for the sciences."

"Incredible! I had no idea the sun warriors were so advanced."

"Noren," Ursa hissed. Zuko, Noren, and Ursa all tensed.

I laughed to put them at ease, "No, it's fine, thank you. Yes, we have a bit of a reputation, but we take learning very seriously. The university will take years to build, though. We'll be lucky if it's ready by the time Kiyi is old enough to go."

The table seemed to relax as Kiyi tilted her head.

"But I don't want to be a scientist, I want to be a warrior!"

"Oh that's very noble as well," Itzel assured her, "you'd make a fine warrior someday."

"Mokuxa has many fine warriors," I said, "but we also have skilled artisans. I asked Itzel to bring a little something from home for everyone."

Itzel and I waved down the palace staff we had tasked with holding onto the gifts and they brought in the four boxes, passing them to each member of my boyfriend's family.

"This is so generous," Ursa said taking her box, "thank you, Phoenix."

"Of course, I admit I'm eager to share pieces of my culture with new friends, and old," I added as Zuko flashed me a warm smile.

They opened the boxes in order as I explained what each item was. "For Noren, one of our traditional Mokuxan drama masks. We don't have plays like you do here in the Fire Nation, our dramas are mostly dancing and singing."

"Extraordinary," he said, turning the mask over in his hands with its many feathers and fabric flowers.

"You'll have to come see one of our productions someday in Mokuxa."

"Yes absolutely, it would be a privilege!"

"For Ursa, a collection of soaps and perfumes made with Mokuxan vanilla and honeysuckle. I find a new scent can help transport the mind."

"Mom, you have to smell the vanilla," Zuko said, "it's one of my favorite things I've come across from Mokuxa."

Ursa opened one of the bottles and her eyebrows rose in shock, "That's beautiful," she remarked, passing it to Noren to smell. "What is vanilla?"

"It's a flower, but the smell comes from the fruit beans it produces."

"How interesting."

"We also make it into deserts," Itzel said, "Another thing you'll have to try when you visit the island!"

"For Zuko, well, you'll have to look for yourself."

Zuko gave me a puzzled look and then opened his box. He pulled the slip of paper out and read over it, his jaw hanging open. 

"Nix, are you sure?"

"Of course, and it wasn't even my idea, I'll have you know."

"What? What is it? I want to open mine next," Kiyi complained, trying to peer over at the paper in her brother's hand.

"It's an announcement for the construction of the new International Peace Center in Moxuka," I said, "officially named after Fire Lord Zuko."

"A Zuzu building!" Kiyi declared, "Now it's my turn!"

"Thank you," Zuko said quietly to me, reaching out to take my hand.

"I don't know why you're thanking me," I said feigning innocence, "I had nothing to do with it."

Zuko shook his head and brought my hand up to his lips, leaving a sweet kiss across my knuckles.

"It's pink!" Kiyi announced, pulling out her gift.

"We saved the best for last!" Itzel assured her.

"This is called a rebozo," I said, leaning across the table to drape it over her shoulders "it's a shawl woven from Mukuxan cotton in special dragon patterns. The red stripes are for strength,  the pink for good luck, and the turquoise for wisdom."

"There's a little one in here too?" Kiyi asked, pulling out the smaller version of the same rebozo design.

"For little Kiyi!" I explained, "So you can match."

"I don't really play with her anymore, dolls are for babies."

"What? Is that so?" I asked, looking to Noren and Ursa for confirmation. Ursa was looking down and Noren reached over to comfort her.

"Kiyi," Zuko said, trying to draw her attention, "what do you say to Nix and Itzel?"

"Thank you!" she said, completely unaware of her mother's tight-lipped smile and sad eyes as Kiyi drew the rebozo tightly around herself.

She may not have played with her doll anymore, but Kiyi did wear the rebozo, often during illicit outings to the sparing courtyard.

Zuko, Iroh, and I got into the habit of training together. I imparted sun warrior forms to them, and they helped me begin to learn lightning redirection. Kiyi started hiding in the courtyard, but not for long, as (after checking with Ursa and Noren) she joined us in practicing forms and we very pointedly did not use bending when she was around (despite her protests that she liked to watch).

Firebending children in Mokuxa develop their bending at incredibly young ages compared to the Fire Nation, just around when they start to walk on their own. But I'd been assured that even by Fire Nation standards, it was unlikely Kiyi was a bender. So the fire ban on training sessions with Kiyi was also so she didn't feel left out.

One addition to our routine that I was delighted to have was my late-night sparing sessions with Zuko. Practicing forms together was one thing, fighting fire with fire was another thing entirely. Especially when Zuko started bringing his swords, he was reluctant at first but eventually gave in when I agreed to bring my sun warrior armor. 

There was something about the physicality of it, our bodies moving against each other in combat, sweat and heavy breaths, and the acrid stinging scent of fire flashing across the courtyard in the night. 

I was almost glad for the New Ozai society if it got my boyfriend to take his shirt off and pin me to the ground (or be pinned underneath me, I'm not picky). Those moments often end in heated kisses that can't really go anywhere on account of the palace guards 20 feet away trying their best to do their jobs.

Our nights conclude with our hands shrouded in life fire, going over each other's muscles to preemptively ease aches and pains from the workout. Then Zuko walks me to my door, gives me a kiss, and retires to his own room. I fall asleep dreaming about him.

____________________

"You know," I said, setting down my cup of Iroh's newest oolong blend, "the 'Fire Lord Zuko' International Peace Center will be opening its door in about two months..." I said, giving Zuko a look from across the breakfast table.

He smiled, looking up from his morning missive. "We should go then."

"Good," I said, returning his smile.

"I know the last time we planned to visit Mokuxa I ended up getting caught in the Yu Dao situation and never ended up visiting, and I still feel bad for that-"

"Zuko, it's fine-"

"It's your home."

I fell silent. His words from a month ago now about wanting to have a life with me in the Fire Nation palace floated back into my mind.

"We should be visiting more often anyway," he continued at my silence, "what kind of boyfriend would I be if I'd-"

He was cut off by a guard bursting into the sunroom, breaking the quiet peace that we enjoyed with our breakfast every morning.

"Fire Lord, Priestess, there's been a kidnapping here in the Capitol, a young boy-" he paused to catch his breath.

"A kidnapping?!" I asked, standing immediately.

"Who was kidnapped, where in the city?" Zuko asked, following me to my feet.

"Tom-Tom, son of Ukano."

_____________________

"Nix," Zuko said quietly as we waited in the briefing room later that day, pressing a kiss to my cheek, "thank you for agreeing to help with this."

"Of course, boxito," I said, reaching out to straighten his robe, "her little brother was kidnapped, I don't mind suffering through a few awkward conversations with your ex to help find Tom-Tom."

Luckily, Aang arrived shortly after Mai and her boyfriend Kei Lo, so I didn't have to keep up stifled small talk for long.

"Zuko! Nix!" Aang greeted, striding into the room.

"Thank you for being here, buddy," Zuko said, shaking his hand with a smile.

"Good to see you Avatar," I said, exchanging a hug. Despite having just seen him 5 weeks ago, Aang was nearly as tall as Zuko.

"Aang," Zuko began, gesturing to our guests, "you remember-" 

"Mai!" he grinned, Mai exchanging his greeting, "And...?"

"Kei Lo," Zuko explained, "Mai's boyfriend."

"Hello," Kei Lo said, bowing his head respectfully.

"And please meet Constable Sung. He's leading the investigation into the kidnapping."

"I'm honored, Avatar," Sung said, bowing low.

"Nice to meet you, but wait, did you say kidnapping?!"

"Last night, my little brother Tom-Tom was taken by a band of dark spirits," Mai explained.

"You saw them?" Aang asked, astonished. 

"I fought them. They were the Kemurikage."

"Who?"

Mai gave him the same explanation she'd given us already of the spirits from her hometown. 

The Constable was relaying to Aang the reports of spirit sightings when we were interrupted, a man storming into the briefing room, yelling something about palace protocol. 

A guard rushed in behind him, "I'm sorry Fire Lord, we told him to wait outside but-"

"It's ok," Zuko assured him, "this is the victim's father, he has a right to be informed.

"Mai!" The man practically roared, stomping into the room, "I should have known you'd be here!"

"Father?" she said with disdain.

"This is your fault, daughter. If Tom-Tom had been living at home with me, this wouldn't have happened! He would have been safe!"

Mai was quiet, and I had half a mind to intervene.

"You know I'm right," he sneered. 

"Oh come on!" Kei Lo protested, "no house is safe from dark spirits!"

"You stay out of this boy!"

"Please just calm down!" Aang said, stepping in between the man, Ukano, presumably, and Mai and Kei Lo. "All this arguing isn't going to help us find Tom-Tom. We need to put our heads together to figure out what to do next."

"Oh, I'll tell you what needs to happen next," Ukano said, turning around to point a finger in Zuko's face. "Our 'Fire Lord' needs to grow a spine. Everyone knows the spirit world begins to act up when the human world is weak!"

Zuko looked frozen in place, but I was furious.

"Good sir," I said, stepping directly in front of him. "You will conduct yourself with civility and respect while in the presence of your Lord, or you will be removed. I will drag you out of this room myself if I must. We will find your son, but I will not tolerate this behavior, much less from a grown man. Am I making myself clear?"

Ukano was still, his face turning a bright chili red from fury or embarrassment, or maybe both, and then he stalked from the room. "You're unfit to rule," Ukano said, at the threshold, "Imposter." And he was gone.

Imposter... something about the way he said it was familiar.

"Thank you," Zuko said, catching my eye.

I shook my head. "Sorry Mai, I just..." I sighed.

"I understand," she said, still looking at the doorway where her father left.

"That's not even how the spirit world works," Aang said, "the balance between the human world and the spirit world has nothing to do with strength."

Zuko nodded carefully.

"Anyway," Aang continued, "we need to figure out exactly what happened to Tom-Tom, then we'll know what to do next. Mai, I need to know everything about the Kemurikage."

"I already told you, it's just an old legend."

"Well, if it's an old legend, then I have an idea," Zuko said, throwing me an apologetic look.

Ah yes, the Catacombs...

______________________

"Woah! What is this place?" Kei Lo asked, looking around in wonder.

"The fire sages' Capital Temple," Mai said.

Kei Lo looked at her. "You've been here before, Mai?"

"Once. An ex thought it'd be romantic to share a meal over the burial site of his ancestors."

My spine prickled. And it wasn't the proximity to the dragon bones.

"And he was right," Zuko said conversationally, "it was romantic."

"Last time I was here my boyfriend took me into the catacombs," I said nonchalantly, unable to quell the urge to speak up, "I almost died."

"What? Why, what's down there?" Kei Lo asked, nervous.

I looked over to Zuko who was visibly starting to sweat at the awkward air.

"If we just want to head over here..." Zuko said pointing in the direction we were already walking.

I took pity on him and leaned toward Kei Lo, speaking softly, "Just a spirit thing, nothing for you to worry about."

I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous... ok I'm a little jealous. And sure we've only been officially dating for six months, but we both had feelings for each other for a while, right? And a month ago he'd been talking about marriage, so he must be serious about us right? And Zuko said it himself at his coronation that his relationship with Mai was toxic. 

And sure, she seemed totally normal and cool now with her new boyfriend, and was the one to warn us of the New Ozai society in the first place, saving our lives... The same society I had originally brushed off when we'd heard the rumors months ago...

No. Zuko and I are solid, we're a team. We've been through so much together. I'm friends with his mom and his uncle.

"High Sage Keone!" Zuko greeted suddenly.

"The Fire Lord, the Avatar, and the High Priestess Phoenix, what an honor to have such esteemed guests!" Keone said, bowing as we approached. 

We returned the greeting, Mai and Kei Lo somewhere behind us.

"It's so good to see you again Sage Keone," I said.

"I'm sorry it's been so long since my last visit," Zuko said, "things have been busy."

"You know what Fire Sage Kaja used to say-- the busier we are, the more we must pay attention to our internal life. My brother Sages and I have recently found some old practices at the behest of the High Priestess that may interest you."

"Oh?" I asked.

"Rightly so, I'm teaching a meditation class in fact that-"

"I'd love to hear more, Keone, I swear, but we're on a bit of a time crunch..."

"Of course, your highness," he sighed, stepping onto the giant medallion to do his special bending pattern.

The medallion spun open to reveal the staircase down and Aang led the way down with a flame in his palm.

Zuko pulled me aside. "Are you sure you're ok with waiting up here? Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine, boxito, I'm not feeling the fear and pain I did last time," I said, secretly pleased with his concern, "I'll chat with Sage Keone, see if he knows anything. You go down there with Aang and the others."

He nodded, kissed my cheek, and disappeared below the ground.

I considered the knot of jealous anxiety in my chest, having risen over the past few hours despite my better wishes, and turned to the Sage.

"Sage Keone, what were those meditation practices you were speaking of earlier?"

He lit up and led us through some of the exercises together while we waited. It was genuinely calming, and my awareness of the pain from the dragon bones below my feet increased, but it didn't press itself into my mind like it had the last time, now it was more of a quiet sorrow, but that too I was able to shed from my mind.

"What weighs on you, Priestess?" Keone asked.

"Nothing important," I said.

He smiled. "I find that hard to believe."

"Matters of the spirit, matters of the heart. Less important than matters of mind and state."

"I don't think that's true," he said kindly, "How can one be expected to attend to issues of such great outward importance if they have not attended to their inner grievances?"

Hadn't Zuko said something similar once? About finding his mother, making amends with his trauma to better serve his country...

"Phoenix!"

Zuko was rushing toward us, the rest of the group exiting the catacombs behind him.

I rose with Keone from my meditative pose. "Zuko, what's wrong? Did you find the information?"

Zuko pulled me into a firm hug before pulling away, "Aang met the Kemurikage-"

"Spirits, in our catacombs?!" Keone asked.

"We found some old hidden passages and got them open again, you can see for yourself. The spirit is gone but she told Aang that they were not the ones in the Capitol, they didn't take any children."

"If it wasn't them, then what kidnapped Tom-Tom, or who? And where did the others-"

Before I could finish my question, Appa landed in the courtyard and we bid a hasty farewell to Keone as we jumped up into Appa's saddle where Aang, Kei Lo, and Mai were waiting.

"Aang," I greeted as Appa took to the sky, "Zuko was telling me what the Kemurikage told you. Is it true then?"

Aang nodded, "Mai was just saying, whoever took Tom-Tom might not be a spirit at all."

"But who would want to target your brother, Mai?" I asked, "And who would know about Kemurikage in the first place? Could it be someone from your village?"

Mai furrowed her brow, "I don't know, there aren't many people from-" She paused, being cut off from shouting below us in the city.

The voices rose over the wind, chanting "A strong nation is a safe nation!"

We looked over the edge of Appa's saddle. A crow had gathered in the streets, raising torches and flames in their hands.

"What's happening down there?" Aang asked.

"Let's find out," Zuko said, and Aang directed Appa to land in the middle of the street where we could jump down into the fray.

"Constable Sung, Ukano, what is the meaning of this?" Zuko demanded as we caught sight of them through the crowd.

"Fire Lord!" The Constable said, and Ukano turned to us too.

"As I predicted the spirit world has gotten completely out of control!" Ukano said, and I had to stop myself from slapping the man, "Dark spirits have taken more children, including the Constable's own son."

"Oh no!" Aang gasped.

"I'm so sorry Constable," Zuko said, his brow furrowed in concern.

"I was unable to find, Fire Lord, we had to do something-"

Ukano perked up, "And the Safe Nation Society-"

"The what?" I asked, barely keeping my rage to myself.

"Since Zuko refused to protect his nation, a group of volunteers has stepped up! The Safe Nation Society are risking their lives to keep us all safe!"

"But, how did you get so many volunteers to assemble this late in the night?" Aang asked, a very good question.

Ukano ignored the question, puffing his chest out, "In fact, just moments ago, the Society saved a child by heroically fighting off a band of dark spirits!"

"There are no Kemurikage," Aang said, "Whoever they fought off weren't spirits!"

"Preposterous!" he shrieked, "I saw them with my own two eyes! Humans don't move like that!"

"You're hiding something," Mai said bluntly, having quietly caught up with us.

"Mai!" Ukano jumped. "What are you doing here?"

"I can tell by the way you're talking," she pressed, "what's your secret, father?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about!" But Ukano was sweating, avoiding eye contact. 

"Zuko," I leaned toward him, keeping my voice low, "we need to take control of this situation."

"Agreed," he said, reaching out to give my hand a reassuring squeeze before he stepped forward.

"Constable Sung," Zuko said, loud enough for everyone nearby to hear, "Truly, I am sorry about your son, we will find him, I promise you. But, the curfew, all of this," he gestured to the general chaos around us, "was done without my authority. I will not be undermined. Until further notice, I'm afraid I must suspend you from your post."

Constable Sung was shocked, and I was a bit too. "Fire Lord I..." he bowed, "I'm sorry."

"So am I," Zuko said, and he meant it. He placed a hand on the Constable's shoulder, "Please, be with your family during this difficult time. You have my word that I will send you updates on the whereabouts of your son."

"Thank you, Your Highness," and with one more nod, Constable Sung took his leave.

"And you! Ukano," Zuko turned around, fury laid bare in his tone, "This society of yours will disband immediately, or you will all face arrest."

Ukano clenched his jaw before turning to his crowd. "Come, Safe Nation Society! We will respect the 'Fire Lord's' wishes. Let us return to our homes and stand idly by while our nation suffers."

"And Mai," he called, turning around as his society began to disband, "when you finally come to realize the truth, you know where to find me."

I glanced over at Mai who was scowling, but didn't offer any response. She stalked off further down the street, Kei Lo trailing after her.

"Zuko," Aang began, "what just happened with Constable Sung was harsh."

"But necessary," I said, "Zuko was right, his authority was undermined, and it's best for the Constable to be with his family at this time anyway."

Aang frowned.

"I hated to do it, but it would be too difficult for him to still be on the case considering he has a personal connection to it now," Zuko added.

"Fire Lord Zuko?" came a timid voice.

We turned to see a young mother, not much older than we were really, holding a small child in her arms. Her eyes were red like she'd been crying.

"With all due respect, the Safe Nation Society just saved my daughter. They're heroes, which is more than I can say for you."

Zuko didn't miss a beat, asking, "Are you alright now, ma'am? Do you or your daughter have any injuries?"

The woman was silent for a moment, calculating. "No," she said, giving a curt bow before walking away.

Aang and I shared a look, and I was going to ask Zuko if he was ok when he turned, on his heel, "Let's head back to the palace."

Chapter Text

Zuko went to meet with the Kyoshi warriors to go over the palace security so I showed Aang to his guest chambers before returning to my own, changing into a Fire Nation sleeping robe and taking my hair out of its tie, combing it out.

I found Zuko on the roof overlooking the gardens.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked.

"Nix." He offered me a sad smile.

I sat next to him, pulling him into an embrace. Zuko pressed his face into the crook of my neck, breathing deeply as his arms held my waist firmly in their grip, like he was afraid I'd slip away.

"How is everything?" I asked.

"I tucked Kiyi into bed," he said, his voice muffled slightly where his head was still on my shoulder, "I updated Suki on the situation, the Kyoshi warriors and our guards have the palace secure. Everything is... everything is fine."

"You don't sound convinced," I said gently.

He sighed, pulling back. "I don't regret how I handled things today, but it's still..."

"Weighing on you?" I offered.

"Yes. I just... want to be the Fire Lord my people deserve."

"You are," I assured him.

"You're biased," he said, a small smile making its way to his expression.

I leaned forward to kiss him soundly.

"So I'm biased," I said, "I'm still right. You're doing a good job, much better than literally anyone else in the world could do."

Zuko kissed me softly, his hands combing gently through my hair. "What would I do without you?"

I grinned. "I suspect you'd be a little bit more angsty."

Finally, that made Zuko laugh. "I need to tell Uncle to stop telling you stories about my teen years."

"But he's so charismatic when he tells them! I think it makes him happy-"

"Nix."

Zuko cuts me off suddenly, his eyes focused on something over my shoulder.

I twist around.

"Is that smoke? What room is-"

"Kiyi!"

We're up in less than a second, flying over the roof toward Kiyi's window. I let Zuko take the lead as I shout down to the guards and light one of the palace emergency beacons as we pass it.

We careen into the nearest window to Kiyi's room, miraculously as Aang flies in from the hallway with Suki.

"No, no, no, no!" Zuko is shouting, Kiyi's bed is empty, and the smoke is leading out the opposite window.

Stumbling over my robe around the bed, I climb out the other window. Three Kemurikage seemed to float across the rooftop, one cradling the sleeping form of Zuko's sister.

"Put her down! Now!" Zuko demanded as we all jumped onto the roof.

The second I gained stable footing I was bending bolts of fire, trying to cut them off. Suki, Aang, and Ty Lee joined us on the roof too, and I was hoping since we had them outnumbered it would be simple to detain them, but they were fast and coordinated, and the bright flashes of fire were disorienting me in the darkness of night.

"They must be human!" Suki said, getting kicked squarely in the chest.

"Try chi-blocking them!"

"I'm trying!" Ty Lee commiserated.

But the smoke was rising, and the Kemurikage were leaping from roof to roof, it was almost impossible to keep track of what was happening, so I stopped firebending for fear of hitting one of my friends.

Finally, Aang remembered he was an airbender and the smoke cleared in one great woosh. "There!" he shouted, and I followed his arm to one of the rooftops above us where a Kemurikage was gliding across almost inhumanly fast.

One very well-placed shot of fire and Zuko had taken it down. The Kemurikage fell off the roof to the ground and we quickly descended after it, trying to form a circle around it. "It's over!," Zuko said, "nowhere to run, nowhere to hide!" 

The other two had disappeared, and so had Kiyi.

"Where have you taken my sister?!" he demanded, his hands ablaze, "Same place you've taken the other kids? Answer me!"

There was a familiar crackle, and I had almost worked out what the sound was when a brilliant flash of blue lightning streaked across the courtyard and into the sky from the spirit.

"No," I said automatically, temporary shock rooting me in place.

"Azula," Zuko said, his voice dark. "I know it's you. Tell your friends to let Kiyi go!"

But Azula was forming another bolt of lightning in her hands, and Zuko and I shifted in front of Aang, Ty Lee, and Suki. If it came down to it, I might be able to redirect lightning, after all the practice I'd been doing with Iroh. Key word, might.

Azula shot another bolt directly at Zuko, who in perfect form raised his arms to redirect it.

"You know I can redirect anything you-"

And in the light of the electricity, I saw the second bolt, forming in her off-hand it came around underneath and arched toward Zuko's chest.

I slid forward, taking the second bolt into my body.

It was a cold, brilliant, frigid energy flooding my nervous system. I nudged it down into my belly, and I felt like I might vomit. But the energy kept coming, and I swiftly pulled it up into my other arm, aiming it into the sky. It was brutal, but it passed through me.

And for half a second Zuko and I stood face to face, the afterimage of lightning marring my vision of his bright golden eyes.

Then I remembered where I was, and the elation of having successfully redirected lighting disappeared.

Suki and Ty Lee had gained on Azula, who was trying to make a break for it. She was forming another bolt of electricity as Suki crashed into her and it thankfully fizzled out.

My body felt raw and numb but I willed it to move forward.

"Nix, are you ok? Are you hurt?" Zuko asked, his hand touching my waist, trying to steady me.

"Fine," I managed, tugging Zuko toward the fight, toward Azula and Suki and Ty Lee.

Then above us on the roof, I saw the other two Kemurikage, and could only shout, "Up there!" before Azula ascended, blue flames from her hands and feet to propel her three stories up.

A second later, the three Kemurikage vanished.

"No, no!" Zuko was shouting and we were running and my legs gave out, twisting up in the flow of my stupid sleeping robe. I stumbled to the ground, and frustrated, tried to use my bending to boost myself up, to follow Azula onto the roof.

Zuko was two steps in front of me, and he turned back immediately to help me off the ground.

"No, Kiyi, go after her!" I said, shoving him away.

"Nix, they're gone, they're gone."

I looked up again, Suki, Aang, and Ty Lee were on the roof, looking around to no end.

"Nix, light a life fire, you're hurt," Zuko said, now crouched on the ground with me.

I did as he asked, and the numbness began to fade as Zuko coaxed the life fire over my knees and arms where they'd scrapped the ground, and my gut where the lightning had singed me.

"You redirected lightning," he said, a sad smile tugging on his lips as he helped me up.

"Kiyi-"

"We'll find her."

"They took her! Didn't they? They took my baby!" Came Ursa's voice. We turned as she ran out into the courtyard with Noren, tears streaming down both their faces.

"I'm sorry," Zuko said, his face hanging in shame.

The feeling had finally returned to my body, and my mind was settling. I ran my hands through my hair, tucking it away from my face, the motion helping jumpstart my brain.

"Lady Ursa, Noren, I'm so sorry. We're going to find your daughter, but for now, we need you to go back inside where you'll be safe," I said, trying to figure out how Azula could have possibly disappeared like that. "Suki, would you be willing to go send Iroh a message and alert the rest of the Kyoshi warriors on the situation? Zuko, we're going to start searching for Azula and Kiyi, what should Iroh be doing here in the palace when he returns in the morning?"

Zuko shook himself, the grief in his expression sliding away and the Fire Lord in him took over "Iroh, yes, alert the guard and have him keep everyone calm, the last thing we need is a panic... And summon Mai and Kei Lo, we might need their help. Nix, do you really think we have the best chance to find her right now?"

"Yes," I nodded, firm, "this needs to end tonight, before Azula can kidnap anyone else's children."

"Ok, lead the way."

"Suki, do that, Avatar, Ty Lee, you're with me and Zuko, we're going to figure out how they got away."

Suki departed with Ursa and Noren, and the four of us remaining climbed up to the roof where we'd seen Azula and her Kemurikage disappear.

"We know they aren't spirits, right?" I asked, already looking around.

"Right," Aang said.

"So we're dealing with regular people, at least one of which is a fire bender. So, in order for them to have made an escape like that, there has to be a trick to it."

"Yes, but they could be anywhere by now, couldn't they?" Ty Lee asked. "Slipping away out of the palace?"

"Past heavily fortified walls and a full routine of armed guards who were already on high alert?" I asked, holding a flame to light along the eaves of the roof and outer walls of the buildings connected to it.

"You think... she didn't leave the palace?" Zuko asked, realization dawning on his face.

"I think she didn't go far. Zuko, do you remember when you made that deal with Azula to find your mom? She'd snuck into a secret room, one that even you didn't know about."

Ty Lee gasped. "Oh! Oh Oh Oh!" She ran down the roof lining toward a wall just around the corner. She pressed her hand into a brick and the stone slid away, revealing a dark passage where there had been none before.

"Yes! This has to be it!" I cheered.

"A secret passageway? Ty Lee, how did you know this was here?"

"When Nix said secret room, I remembered when we would go exploring as children, and this is one of the passages Azula found. You really should have come with us more often Zuko."

"No time to waste," I said, ushering everyone in, Aang taking the lead.

"Phoenix," Zuko said quietly as we carefully made our way down the dark claustrophobic tunnel, "how were you so sure about this? About still being able to tail Azula?"

"If you knew just how many traps, secret doors, and hidden rooms there are in Mokuxa... I don't know, I just knew she couldn't have really disappeared like that."

Eventually, after walking for what felt like an hour, the tunnel started to tilt back upward, even with stairs that were in poor and crumbling condition. Finally, another stone door met us at the end, with faint light peaking around it from the other side.

"This must be it," Zuko said, "Behind this door could be Kiyi and Tom-Tom."

"And Azula," Aang reminded him.

With a nod, the Avatar and Fire Lord went ahead of Ty Lee and I, pushing the stone door open.

I expected Azula and her Kemurikage to be waiting just on the other side, ready to attack us, but it opened out into a graveyard.

All around us stood cairns and gravemarkers, half-spheres with obelisks positioned on top. Some new, some so old the stone had crumbled and vines had overtaken the basses. A pink dawn cast the scene as a dim misty morning.

"I've been here before," Zuko said, his sweeping gaze surveying the grounds before he caught my eye, "this is the royal family graveyard."

"I thought that's what the Dragonbone Catacombs were for?" I asked, recalling our... awkward field trip with Mai and Kei Lo.

"The Catacombs are only for the Fire Lords," he said, "this is for everyone else. Last I was here it was to honor my cousin, Lu Ten."

"Your cousin?" I asked gently, "How did I not know you had a cousin? When did he pass?"

Zuko nodded, "Iroh's son. He died in combat when I was young, it's why my father became Fire Lord in the first place, because Uncle no longer had a..."

"I'm sorry," I said, stepping closer and taking his hand.

"At least this is a nice resting place for him," Zuko said, motioning around, "It's called the Garden of Tranquil Souls."

"Tranquil souls?" Aang asked, pointing behind us. I turned around to see the dark imposing figures of four Kemurikage approaching from behind the grave markers. They must have heard us talking. "These souls at least don't seem very tranquil."

The fight broke out swiftly, the four of us against the four of them. I thought surely we would have an upperhand, considering our groups consisted of the Avatar, the Fire Lord, a Kyoshi warrior, and myself, but the Kemurikage were fast, trailing smoke from their cloaks that only obscured our vision. 

I was caught in a duel with one of them, a non-bender by her fighting style, and tried to use my fire to keep her at a distance, but she kept getting closer, right up to me. I didn't want to actually kill her, using fire in such close range would be deadly. Despite her crimes, she didn't deserve to die. So I resorted to channeling those courtyard sparring sessions with Zuko, finding physical leverage, staying light on my feet. It was then that I realized the Kemurikage and I were alone. Ty Lee, Zuko, and Aang were nowhere in sight. I could hear fighting, but the sounds were echoing off the stone cairns around us.

"Who are you? Why are you doing this?" I asked, twisting away from a blow to my gut.

She didn't respond as I landed a kick to her hip. She stumbled for just a second, but was swinging another punch toward my face. I intercepted it and got an idea. I don't want to do any permanent damage to her, but she doesn't know that. She also, probably, wouldn't know what life fire is or looks like, at least not well enough to react quickly.

So at the next opening, I grabbed her shoulder, and set my other hand ablaze with life fire, pressing my hand to her face.

She screamed, not fast enough to stop it, and did what a normal person would do had a fire been shoved in their face, she tried to duck away. I took the opportunity to place a carefully aimed jab and knocked her out cold.

The Kemurikage's body slumped to the ground. I carefully dragged her toward a stone carin so at least she wasn't a tripping hazard, and pulled her mask off.

She was just... a girl, not much younger than I was. I didn't recognize her, not sure what I expected anyway. But, I couldn't dwell on it, because when I stood back up, there was the sound of a huge fiery explosion. It was bright enough to be seen over the tops of the stone obelisks, and I took off in a run toward it.

I came into a clearing area, and was just about able to see Mai helping a clearly injured Kei Lo up from the ground, and Zuko chasing after Azula. I had less than a second to make a decision.

I ran to Mai.

"You guys made it," I said, "Kei Lo, are you hurt?"

"Azula shot him with lightning," Mai said, not taking her eyes off her boyfriend.

"Where?" I asked, looking him over, Mai was holding him up.

"Arm," Kei Lo grunted, one of his hands moving to hold his injured bicep.

"Sit down, sit down," I said, ushering them to the flattest gravemarker nearby, hoping that the person buried there wouldn't mind.

I pulled up Kei Lo's sleeve to see the angry red splotch of a lightning wound, and I got to work. 

"Why would you... why not follow Zuko and Azula?" Mai asked as life fire nudged the damaged nerves in Kei Lo's arm back into place.

"You guys were injured... and Zuko, I know he's capable of handling himself.

Mai was quiet for a moment. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I said, exchanging a look with her that... well it felt like we understood each other.

When Kei Lo's injury was as healed as I could get it, we headed towards the sounds of fighting. I expected to see Zuko and Azula, but instead, we saw one of the mausoleums with the door open, and inside Aang was fighting a group of Kemurikage by himself, these ones were benders.

We rushed inside, quickly taking the three of them down now that they were outnumbered. 

"Thanks," Aang said, catching his breath as the dust and smoke settled.

"No problem," I said, as a large iron door creaked open.

I settled into a fighting stance, but it wasn't a Kemurikage that rushed out, it was a child.

"Mai!"

"Tom-Tom!"

The little boy ran up the stone steps, running into the embrace of his sister. Mai scooped him up into her arms as more figures came out from the doorway, Ukano, who looked immediately suspicious, and 13 children, including.

"Kiyi!"

Kiyi laughed and ran up to me. I knelt on the floor to pull her into a hug.

"Nixie! Nixie I can fire bend! Just like you and Zuzu!"

I pulled back in shock. "You can?!"

"She melted the door!" cried one of the other children.

"That's how we escaped!" another one chimed in.

"Kiyi, that's amazing," I said, "I'm so proud of you!"

"I learned from watching you and Zuzu and Uncle Iroh in the courtyard," she said, smug.

"Well, let's get you all out of here then," I said, standing up and taking Kiyi's hand.

"Yes," Mai said, Tom-Tom on her hip, "These children can return to their families, and father, you can go to prison, to pay for these crimes."

Aang gasped, his brow furrowed. "Ukano, is it true? You were the one behind all this?"

The old man hung his head. "Yes. I'm afraid so."

"Come on," I said, and we led everyone out of the mausoleum. Out in the open air again, I wondered suddenly if Zuko was ok, if he was able to subdue Azula.

I almost began to panic, but then I spotted him and Ty Lee making their way toward us.

"Kiyi, look," I said, pointing her toward her brother.

"Zuzu!" she called once she spotted him, taking off in a run.

The siblings reunited, and I waited until after we'd made it back to the palace and Ukano was well and truly arrested (it being revealed that he was part of the New Ozai Society, the Safe Nation Society, and in league with Azula... no wonder his voice was familiar), to finally bring up Azula with Zuko.

"How is Kiyi?" I asked first, filling his teacup and then my own as he joined me in his study. He'd insisted on tucking Kiyi into bed, of course.

"She has the spark, I can see it now," Zuko said with a small smile. "She asked to sleep in bed with Mom and Noren."

"That's good, isn't it?"

He nodded. "Mother... she looked so relieved to see us, and so happy that Kiyi wasn't afraid of her anymore."

"Boxito..." I said, scooting over on the couch to pull him into a hug.

He held me close, pressing his face to the side of my neck.

"Can I ask, what happened with Azula?"

He was silent for a moment, then before pulling away, left a small kiss on my jaw.

"She got away."

"Are you ok?" I brushed my hand over his cheek, holding him gently.

"Yes."

"Do you... want to talk about what happened with her?"

"Not right now, I'm sorry."

I shook my head and pulled him into a kiss. "It's ok, I guess just... do you think we're in danger at the moment? Or is anyone in your family in danger?"

"No. I don't think Azula will be bothering anyone for a while."

I wanted to respect Zuko's wishes and not dwell on it or force him to talk about it, but I so desperately wanted to know what had happened. 

"Ok," I said after a moment, "I'm glad everyone is safe."

"Me too. Especially you and Kiyi."

I frowned. "Were you worried about me?"

"I'm always worried about you."

"You know I can-"

"I know, trust me I know, but..." Zuko took in a breath, his eyes searching mine, "But love isn't always rational."

"Love," I breathed, not trusting my own ears.

"And because I love you," he said, a nervous edge entering his tone, "I worry. I can't tell you how relieved I felt, seeing you and Kiyi together in the graveyard, alive and safe."

"Zuko... I love you too," I said, barely getting the words out before we were kissing again.

To feel his smile against mine, his laughter beneath my lips... With a thrill, Zuko pulled me into his lap, my legs on either side of his hips.

The kiss turned more sensual, our torsos pressed together, his tongue in my mouth, his arms holding me tightly against him. I thought I might spontaneously combust.

I wasn't sure what boldness came over me, but I just wanted... him, to touch him, to feel him, to be with him, to love him. My hands slid to the collar of his robe, the silky red fabric didn't need much convincing to pull open.

I pulled away from the kiss, resting my forehead on his so I could watch my fingers tug apart the knot keeping his robe from opening completely.

"Phoenix," Zuko whispered, his hands resting on my waist.

"What is it?" I asked, finally splaying my hands over the glorious bare skin of his chest. He was so warm, the skin only marred by the faint scarring that I couldn't heal when he had been struck by Azuala's lightning 2 years ago.

Zuko didn't answer my question, but he did inhale a quick breath when I lit a life fire in my hands and lovingly massaged the old wound. There was nothing to heal, but it felt right. After a moment I let the fire die, as my hands reached his abdominal muscles, which I took the opportunity to greatly admire as I always did when we had our nighttime sparing sessions.

"Phoenix," he said again, his voice drawn out, bordering on a moan.

I closed my eyes, drinking in the moment. "Hm?"

"We should stop."

I froze and immediately pulled back. "Did I do something wrong?"

Getting a better look at Zuko's face, his pupils were blown wide, his face and neck flushed and he grimaced slightly.

"No, you did nothing wrong, it's only..."

"I'm sorry, I got- I got carried away," I said, pulling off him and sitting far enough apart that Appa could probably sit between us.

"No, no, I got carried away," he said, reaching out for my hand and looking slightly panicked. "Nix it's just- you have to understand-"

"It's ok-" I said, now completely mortified and desperate to bid him good night. I stood, dropping his hand.

"No, Phoenix," Zuko said, standing too, "don't leave, please."

Despite my burning embarrassment, I stayed where I was. "If I misunderstood-"

Zuko cut me off by pulling me into a firm kiss. "You didn't misunderstand," he said, his voice low and sure.

I was thoroughly confused into silence, so I only nodded, waiting for him to gather his thoughts as he was clearly doing.

"Nix, Fire Nation culture is very conservative compared to that of the Sun Warriors. It would be incredibly dishonorable for me to... insist myself further upon you."

I smiled, "I quite think I was insisting myself upon you, if I remember correctly."

He chuckled, some of that dreaded tension easing itself from his shoulders.

"I mean to say that, well, there are strict rules when it comes to courtship, especially between the Fire Lord and another ruler of a sovereign people."

I nodded, "ok."

"And what kind of example would I set if I... and if anyone heard about it-"

"Zuko, it's ok, I understand," I said, unable to resist putting my arms around his neck now that he was embarrassed and babbling. "Besides, I do think it's more a 'we' thing than an 'I' or 'you' thing, but don't worry, it doesn't bother me. Just, tell me what the rules are, I'm happy to follow them."

Zuko sighed. "You're not... upset?"

"Of course not! This is your culture. We're a little more... free with our expressions in Mokuxa, but it's no matter. Zuko, I never even dreamed of having something like this, of having you, of... getting to love you. That is more than enough for me."

"Ok," Zuko said, letting me pull him into a timid kiss. "I love you too," he whispered.

Chapter Text

I did visit Mokuxa with Zuko, Noren, Kiyi, and Ursa to celebrate the unveiling of the International Peace Center in Mokuxa. It was a beautiful trip, but Zuko could only stay for two days, some urgent matter in the Fire Nation Capital drawing him away. 

When I asked him if he needed my help, if he needed me to accompany him, he just shook his head, kissed me, and told me to enjoy my time off.

So I spent my vacation entertaining the rest of the Fire Nation Royal Family, leafing through my mother's secret journals, and attending the seemingly endless events and meetings and construction sites that kept asking for my presence. 

Back at the palace, things got busier and busier, even without Ozai apologists kidnapping children. There were trade negotiations, meetings with the Earth Kingdom, Reforms for Cranefish Town, places to travel and discussions to be had.

I was giving Ursa weekly purple fire treatments to help with her trauma, and she was displaying marked improvement, especially compared to Azula. I had made a note somewhere about the will of the patient to get better.

Kiyi began lessons at the Royal Academy for Fire Nation Girls, and was learning bending from her older brother and I. Noren spent his free time engaging with the Royal Theater and entertaining his wife.

Zuko and I kept our relationship relatively secret, only shared with trusted friends and allies. It was easy to explain things away to prying eyes and nosy journalists, as our government-related work could provide a plethora of excuses for our closeness. 

Life then got into a steady easy rhythm, and it rolled along like that for a year. It was too late by the time I noticed my relationship with Zuko was suffering.

__________________

Zuko rose from his seat, anger finally breaking through. "You're so overbearing, you always act like you know better than me, or you have more experience than me, or that you know best!"

"Maybe because sometimes I do," I countered, "and I don't always act like I know better than you, but if I see a problem with your decision-making, I'll tell you because we're supposed to be a team, on equal footing."

"What is it you're always saying? Bow before no man? Then why is it you always have me bow to you, to your ideals, your traditions, your culture? Where's the equality in that?"

I took a step back, "Bow before me? Zuko when have I ever asserted myself and my customs over yours? When you ask me about them sure I'll tell you, and when it directly concerns me I would rather go about it in a way that makes me feel comfortable, but other than that I let you do whatever you want!"

"Oh, you let me? Wow thanks for the freedom to make my own decisions," he sneered.

I groaned, "That's not what I meant, and you know that!"

He took a step forward, his face inches from mine, "Do I, High Priestess?"

"Oh don't 'High Priestess' me," I said, "we are a team, we always make decisions together, unless its something you want to keep secret from me, then you'll do whatever you want about it no matter who it hurts."

"Like you've never kept a secret from me."

"No, Zuko, I haven't! I tell you everything because I trust you, but I guess you don't feel the same."

"Stop being such a martyr. You're controlling and being around you is suffocating. Always caught up in being the perfect Priestess, doing it all and still having time to boss me around."

"Well then, if you feel so suffocated, I guess I should just leave, give you space."

Zuko looked at me for just a moment, seemingly shocked before his expression steeled over, "Maybe you should leave."

"Fine, then I will."

"Great."

"Great," I turned around, the tears brimming my eyes threatening to spill.

I started walking, keeping my face turned away from him, "And if it wasn't clear, we're done."

"Oh, it was clear," he called back.

_____________________

"You'd be going back on your promise to let Mokuxa stay independent. Need I remind you what happened the last time the Fire Nation started colonizing cities?" I asked, glaring at Zuko from across the council room.

"Need I remind the Priestess that several promises on her part have been ignored, namely the majority trade promised to the Fire Nation."

"There is nothing in that agreement that states an offshore company can't have a station in Mokuxa yet operate under alternative trade negotiations," I shot back.

"Phoenix does have a point there, technically Cabbage Corp is an Earth Kingdom company and isn't technically factored into that specific agreement," Sokka said, reviewing the documents in front of him.

"Besides, Fire Lord," Aang cut in, "It is against the World Peace Negotiation for a nation to establish a colony on another nation's territory."

"But Mokuxa isn't a nation, it's a city, and historically speaking, has always been a Fire Nation territory," Zuko said.

"But we declared our independence after the 100-year war, with your support might I add," I said, forcing myself to stay seated. 

"Listen," Katara spoke up, "I really don't see why this is necessary. It was never a concern before and we all know what this is really about," she looked between Zuko and me.

"I have to agree with Katara, this is a waste of time," Toph spoke up.

Zuko glared at me and stood, his chair scraping across the stone. Without a word, he turned and left the room. 

I watched his back as he left and turned back to my friends, who all looked slightly annoyed and disappointed.

"Could you really not work out a breakup without involving an international council?" Sokka asked.

"Well it's not my fault he woke up one day and decided to make me enemy number 1," I said with a huff.

"Nix, come on..." Katara said.

_________________________

After Katara's stern talking to I relented, I would try to meet Zuko in the middle, try to peacefully resolve the situation.

It was sunset, the sky filled with firey peaches and pinks, and Zuko stood staring up at it, resting against the balcony railing.

I stood next to him, fiddling with the edges of my bangles, "Fire Lord Zuko."

"Priestess," he greeted.

I sighed, "In the interest of my people, I'm willing to make a compromise on this situation."

"Oh," he looked at me, almost disappointed. Did he want a fight?

I cleared my throat, "I'd be willing to demote Mokuxa to a Fire Nation province or state, so long as my position as High Priestess was still honored and I could sit as the seat of local government."

"A Fire Nation province..." he trailed off.

I peered at him out of the corner of my eye. His brow was furrowed. Returning my gaze to the sunset, I continued, "I wasn't aware of your contention with Cabbage Corp and their trade log. I'd be willing to revise the treatise to include foreign posts in Mokuxa's gross economic output."

He sighed deeply, sagging against the railing. "I think that is wise. My tradesmen are angry with Mokuxa's export ratio, changing the classification of foreign posts is the perfect way to address it."

"When shall... When shall you impose rule over Mokuxa?"

"I will not," he said.

"But- but you said-"

"Nix," he turned to face me, "I'm sorry."

I was frozen to the spot, unsure of what to say.

"There is no excuse for how I treated you. I was... jealous, angry, frustrated with the Earth kingdom, exhausted by my council... But I never should have taken it out on you. And now we're here with our friends, some of the most powerful people in the world, fighting over your city. Your home." He shook his head, wetting his lips like he wanted to say more but couldn't find the words.

"You're right," I swallowed, "it was wrong for you to treat me and my... my country as you had, but I didn't make it easier for you."

He glanced up at me.

"I've been drifting too, focused more on policy and relations than our relationship. I... think since so many unexpected things keep popping up, things out of my control, it's made me impose on you, snap at you."

He took my hands in his, gliding his thumb mindlessly over my knuckle. "I'm sorry. I should have asked. I should have known."

I moved one of my hands to his cheek. "There was no way for you to know. I don't think I would have told you anyway."

A smile tugged at his lip. "Maybe not."

"So... what do we do now?"

Zuko slowly knelt on the ground before me, sinking to his knees while maintaining eye contact. His face was level with my navel and I thought my face might burst into flames.

"Oh High Priestess," he began, "will you take me back? Will you let me make this all up to you?"

"Make it up to me how?" I asked, my voice escaping just barely above a whisper.

He leaned forward, tantalizingly slow. His lips brushed the skin of my exposed midriff and my eyes fluttered closed.

"Zuko," I murmured, barely keeping upright as he kissed a careful line across my tattoos, leading down to my hips where the fabric of my skirt wrap began. "Stand up, by the dragons, anyone could see us."

With a dangerous smirk, he rose to his feet. I pulled him into a kiss and then a firm embrace.

"I love you," I said, my face buried in his shoulder.

"I love you too," he said, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

"Are your people angry with you?" he asked, combing his fingers through my hair. "Do they hate me now?"

"They don't know. I haven't sent word about anything."

"What?" he pulled back, "You haven't?"

I looked away, sheepish, the sunset more of a purple-blue now. "I didn't want to worry them... and too, it felt like my whole world was falling apart, and Mokuxa, and that it was all my fault, because I messed this up," I gestured between us, "How could I admit that? I wanted to see if I could fix this on my own first."

"It wasn't all your fault," Zuko said, "I was angry, I ruined things too."

"I know, I know... but they're not totally ruined, I don't think..." I said looking up at him.

"No," he pulled me into a brief kiss that nearly turned my world off its axis, "this thing between us? It could never go away."

I wondered suddenly about 'this thing between us', about the almost 5 years we'd known each other, the almost 2 years we'd been dating... Were we going anywhere? Or would we be forever locked in the dance of together-but-not-fully-together?

"What's that look, what are you thinking?" Zuko asked.

"Remember when we'd been dating for 6 months and you asked me what I thought about marriage?"

He cringed slightly, "Yes, I remember. What about it?"

"Well, I can't help but notice that still you are without an heir, and without a partner who could... who could give you one. I'm so in love with you, but even I'm not so selfish as to..."

He looked out over the balcony, contemplation a handsome expression on his face. "Things will have to change eventually..."

Heartache burned in my chest at the thought, that one day it will have to break all over again when Zuko marries some wealthy Fire Nation girl who can give him a child.

"But who's to say change is bad?" Zuko continued with a smile, "Regardless of what happens, I will never, never, leave you again, Phoenix."

I furrowed my brows. I would never want to be reduced to some kind of behind-closed-doors lover. "Zuko, if you're suggesting-"

"I'll look into naming Kiyi my heir," he said.

My eyebrows rose. "Look into it? Kiyi? You really think they would let you do that?"

Zuko shrugged. "Maybe not, but it's worth a try. Regardless, Nix," Zuko wrapped me in his arms again, the comforting feel of his body against mine, "I'll be dead a hundred years before I stop loving you."

"Oh yeah? Well... I'm spending the rest of eternity in the spirit world loving you."

Zuko laughed, "Then Xie will have to make room for me, because I'll be right there, loving you back more."

Then it was my turn to laugh, and I held Zuko close as the last dredges of sunlight faded behind the mountains.

_____________________

Zuko's birthday falls at the end of the eighth month, and this year, despite my best efforts, he refused to let me help him plan for it.

After an intimate celebratory dinner with his family in the palace, he wanted to get the gaang back together for a reunion at Iroh's tea shop, to catch up with everyone and relax. Which honestly is a really good idea, most of the interaction we've had with the team has been related to some crisis or to Republic City, or some foreign relations mission. So it would be really nice to see everyone without having to attend a million meetings a day.

I still don't see why Zuko wouldn't let me help him plan.

My boyfriend and his uncle had gone into the back of the shop to catch up and brew tea and left me to my own boredom in the seating area, waiting for my friends to show up. I luckily didn't have to wait long before one of the royal guards opened the shop door and said, "Avatar Aang and Katara of the Southern Watertribe have arrived, Priestess."

"Really?" I asked rhetorically, jumping out of my chair to rush outside. Katara and Aang had just jumped down from Appa and I walked over to greet them.

"Nix!" Katara said, giving me a hug.

"Katara, Aang! It's so good to see you guys. I missed seeing the world's most powerful bender, oh, and you too Aang," I said, giving him a hug as well.

Katara laughed, "Is the birthday Fire Lord inside?"

"Yeah, Zuko and Iroh are having some tea-making-bonding-time," I said, helping them get their stuff from Appa's saddle.

"Have Sokka and Suki gotten here yet?" Aang asked, "We haven't seen them since the solstice,"

"Not yet..." I said, spotting something down the road, "Actually," I pointed and Aang and Katara turned to face the street where Sokka and Suki's mongoose lizard came riding up the steps to the tea shop.

As they got closer we saw Toph hanging onto Suki for dear life on the back.

They stopped and dismounted, and we rushed over to greet them.

"Oh, sweet land! I forgot how much I hate riding on animals." Toph said digging her feet into the stone pavement.

We all laughed and exchanged hugs, just as Zuko pushed passed the royal guards and burst out of the shop, a huge smile on his face, "Hey guys!"

The gang rushed over and hugs were exchanged again, Appa even stomped over and licked Zuko's face.

Amidst the laughter, he said, "I'm sure you're all starving so let's eat," we followed him back into the shop, "I asked for the cooks from the palace to prepare the Fire Nation's best delicacies."

"Oh sweet sweet meat," Sokka said, rushing to the table.

I nudged Suki, "He never changes huh?"

"You know Sokka," she said with a smile, "the meat and sarcasm guy."

I snorted as we all sat around the table, digging right into the food and exchanging stories.

"-I even got them to change some of their laws, making the production companies have better benefits for its employees," Aang said, talking about one of the Earth Kingdom towns he and Katara recently visited.

"Oh, speaking of laws," Zuko said next to me, bringing most of the table's attention to him, "I just passed a few laws for the Fire Nation today, ones that will hopefully lay down some more progressive framework."

"Really?" Katara asked.

"What are they?" Aang inquired.

I furrowed my brow slightly. What new laws? He hadn't discussed them with me yet, which was strange for him. After our... temporary break-up six months ago, we'd been making efforts to be more communicative with each other.

"Sorry I shouldn't have mentioned it now, I plan on making an announcement after dinner," he said, taking another sip of his tea.

"Well speaking of official business, I finally got approval to build the next wing of my school-" Toph continued the conversation but I turned to Zuko.

Without drawing attention I quietly asked him, "Zuko, what laws? Why didn't I know about this?"

He leaned over to me with a smile, keeping his voice low as well, "It's a surprise."

"I'm not sure legislation should be a surprise, you should have consulted me, or at least let me know," I tried to keep my annoyance from rising into anger, but it was irresponsible for him to not at least inform me about it.

"Nix, do you trust me?" he asked, placing his hand on mine.

I sighed, frustrated, "You know I do."

"Then trust me on this, I promise it's a good thing, but I wanted to wait to tell everyone at once."

I took a deep breath, "Ok."

He smiled and turned back to the conversation.

It's not that I didn't trust Zuko to be able to run his country well, I know he can and I know he can do it without me. I guess I'm just hurt because he didn't talk to me about it, we make a point to talk to each other before making big decisions, like signing a law into order. Does he not trust me anymore to advise him on these things? Does he not want my input?

I pushed those thoughts away and focused on the conversation and the closeness to my friends, we don't see each other nearly often enough and I wanted to really appreciate this time we had to be together.

And eventually, the plates were cleared, the sweets were eaten, and what was probably the last round of tea was poured.

"So where's this announcement Zuko?" Aang asked.

"Yeah, I really hope it has something to do with letting you take more time off to hang out with us," Toph said, "because I still haven't gotten my life-changing field trip with Zuko."

The table laughed.

"Unfortunately it's not that Toph," he said, standing from his seat, "It's actually to do with something else that's life-changing."

Apprehension settled in my gut.

"So it's a series of laws that I'm calling the Family Equality Act,"

"Where is this going?" Katara asked with a playful but confused smile.

"Well, the first law is all about marriage equality, which makes it so anyone of any gender can legally marry another person of any gender, which would let same-sex couples get married. It was a law that was in place until Sozin changed it, criminalizing same-sex couples. I figured it was well past time to reinstate it. So then the second law lets any couple or financially stable individual who passes all of the background checks adopt a child, opening up more homes to children who were orphaned in the war. And then the last law lets adopted children become legal heirs of their adoptive parents for any couple, letting them live normal lives like any other kid, another law that Sozin changed and needs to be changed back."

I was surprised, "Oh, that's great Zuko," I said, he turned to smile at me.

"Wow, same-sex marriage?" Aang asked, "I think this means the Fire Nation is the only one to currently legalize it."

"Do you think we should campaign for other nations to follow suit?" Katara asked.

"Definitely, I know two of the Kyoshi warriors who have been forced to hide their relationship for years and will be ecstatic to hear about this, Zuko!" Suki said.

"I'll admit that I was slightly selfishly motivated to pass this act," Zuko said, looking at the table.

Does he mean he's... attracted to men too? He knows I woulnd't have a problem with it if he was, but for him to not tell me? Did he think I wouldn't accept him? Have I made him feel like he couldn't tell me?

"How so?" Sokka asked, genuinely confused, a sentiment I echoed.

Zuko sat back down and turned to me, taking my hands in his. I could feel the heat rising in my face, anticipation bubbling at what he was about to say.

"The law means we can adopt a child."

My brain quit functioning briefly as I processed what he said, a complete 180 from what was going through my head just seconds ago.

"A-Adopt?" I said dumbly, trying to piece together what he was saying.

Zuko squeezed my hands, leaning closer, a shy smile on his lips. His hands were clammy, and so were mine. My heartbeat was so loud in my ears that I almost didn't hear what he said next.

"Phoenix, you are the strongest, smartest, funniest, most beautiful woman I've ever had the pleasure to know. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, change the law, rewrite history, wage a war, broker peace, even give up my throne, my nation, for you. You gave me back my bending, and you saved my life and you save it, again and again, every day. With every breath I breathe I am in love with you and can't imagine living another day without you in it. Will you do me the greatest honor of my life, and marry me?"

I blinked several times, having to force myself to breathe. Did I just hear him right? Zuko, a man whom I'm deeply in love with, changed the law, of the whole Fire Nation, one of the most technologically advanced societies in the world containing almost 37 million people, just so we could be together and have a family. Did he just profess his absolute and undying love for me at the expense of everything he's ever worked for in life just to ask me to marry him?

Too many seconds passed as I processed this and I realized by his face that I hadn't actually said anything yet.

"Yes, yes of course!" I said quickly, trying to apologize in my tone for taking so long.

Zuko laughed in relief and pulled me into a fierce hug as our friends cheered.

A smile permanently stuck itself to my face as I held Zuko tightly, tears threatening to spill.

I pulled him into a kiss, not even bothered by the fact that at least five of our friends, a few guards, and Zuko's uncle were watching us.

As we pulled apart Zuko took one look at me and laughed, his eyes glistening with the same tears mine were, "You had me worried there for a second," he said.

"Sorry it took me a minute to catch up to what you were saying, I was completely on the wrong track at first," I said, the rest of the table laughing with me.

"So when's the wedding?!" Sokka asked, throwing his arm around Suki.

"Well Sokka," I said, "Seeing as we just got engaged 12 seconds ago, it may take us some time to start planning."

The group laughed.

"Do you think you're too young to get married?" Katara asked, gently.

"Well," I said, turning to look at Zuko who gave me a smile "We've talked about it before and what it would mean for us, and I'm sure there will be a lot of things to figure out going forward, but I turned 21 two months ago, and, of course, Zuko does today. We're young but I don't think it's too young."

"Yeah, and the two of us are relatively settled, obviously I know where my duty lies, Nix knows where hers is, and we've practically lived together for 4 or so years now in the palace."

"Besides, I do find myself madly in love with him, sometimes to my own surprise," I said, to which Zuko laughed and kissed me again.

"Well, I'm glad, I'm so happy for you both. The love you have for each other will be reflected in the people you govern. Besides, the wedding will give us another excuse to all get together again," Aang said, " I think it's easy for us to get caught up in our day-to-day lives we forget to spend time with our loved ones."

"Wise words," Iroh said, coming back into the room and topping off teacups, "love and friendship are what bind us all together, it is important that we not forsake it and forget to visit our Uncle's tea shop for months at a time," Iroh said, causing the table to laugh as he patted Zuko's head.

"Uncle, I promise I'll visit more often," he said.

"I'll make sure of it," I added, sharing a smile with Iroh.

The rest of the evening went by with plenty of merriment and Zuko's arm cemented around my shoulders. As the sky turned black and the stars came twinkling, we all helped Iroh clean the shop and head out. Aang and Katara offered us a ride on Appa around the town.

As everyone was gathering up their things to leave, Iroh pulled me aside.

"I am more than happy to have seen my nephew fall in love with such a wise and powerful young woman," he smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

"Thank you, Iroh, you've raised an incredible young man, and I hope you know how much he loves you," I said.

"Please, you're getting married, call me Uncle,"

I smiled, "Ok, Uncle,"

"And don't let him get too stubborn with you, your instincts are a bit more succinct than his."

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," I said with a laugh.

Zuko came around the corner, "Nix are you ready?" he spotted us, "What are you two talking about?"

"My future niece and I were just discussing some different teas we could serve at the wedding."

Iroh's easy lie made me smile.

"Well I'm sure we don't need to do that right now," he said, taking my hand, "I'll see you soon Uncle,"

"Goodbye Nephew. And Phoenix, make sure you keep him in line," he said.

"She will," Zuko called after him.

I spared one more look to Iroh, who gave me a wink. I smiled back and we were out the door.

"You weren't really talking about tea were you?" Zuko asked, helping me up into Appa's saddle.

"No, but that's ok," I said, sitting next to Katara and reaching down to help Zuko up, "we were talking about how stubborn you are."

Zuko grumbled slightly and Katara laughed.

Aang got us up into the sky and Zuko thanked them for the ride.

"It's no problem, actually, Aang wanted to talk to you Zuko about the new law of yours," Katara said.

"I did?" Aang asked, looking back at Katara, "Oh right, yeah,"

"Uh, ok," Zuko said, crossing the saddle to sit by Aang.

Katara grabbed my arm suddenly "Nix, I can't believe you and Zuko are engaged!" She said excitedly, keeping her voice from being heard by our partners.

"I'm still taking it in," I admitted.

"You said you guys talked about it before?" she asked.

"I mean yeah, a while back he sort of asked what I thought about marriage, and I told him that I had never really considered it, what with being High Priestess and all, but then we talked more about the fact that Zuko would need an heir someday... and, well, this is a little personal, but I don't think I can have children," I said.

"Oh, Nix... I'm so sorry."

"Well, we decided to stay together at the time, I mean, we are in love and I can't imagine letting all that go. He told me not to worry about the whole marriage and kids thing again and that we could talk more about it later when the time came, but I guess he decided to change the law for us."

"That's so romantic," Katara mused, glancing at Aang.

"Yeah, it is, I just sometimes can't believe how committed he is... I mean I can, but rewriting the adoption laws?"

"Yeah..." Katara said.

"Have you and Aang talked about your future?" I asked.

"No. Not more than the next mission or where we were gonna stay that night."

"Do you want to get married?"

"Of course I do. I just, I don't know... are we too young to get married?"

"I mean, I know Zuko and I are young, but Aang is what, 17? you're 19? Maybe give it some time. Besides, you guys are so busy with life and keeping order and balance in the world, Zuko and I are well-established and practically have a settled life together already. And I don't know how it works in Fire Nation culture, but it isn't uncommon for Sun Warrior engagements to last years."

Katara nodded, "You're right, I should just stop thinking about it, we have more important things."

"No, that's not exactly what I meant," I said, forcing her attention back to me, "Katara, if you want to talk to him about it, then you should, talking about it doesn't mean you're ready for it yet, just that you want to be ready for it in the future."

"In the future huh...?" Katara said, glancing over to Aang. She smiled, clearly thinking of something I didn't have context for. "Thanks, Nix, that helps a lot."

"Sure, I'm happy to help, seriously, anytime, just send me a letter."

"I will."

"Really though I would much rather help you sort out life than sit through another guard budget review meeting."

Katara laughed, "Does Zuko really make you sit through those?"

"Just unforeseen perks of having a high government ranking. Life was certainly simpler before I joined the team," I said with a smile, thinking about how much I've grown, we all have grown, since then.

"Do you miss it? Everything before?"

"I used to, but definitely not now. If anything I just remember it fondly. Growth is something to be proud of, it isn't easy to grow. A plant needs the right soil, the right amount of sunlight, the right amount of water, sometimes even fertilizer, and then it will grow. I think people are like that too," I said nodding to our respective partners who were having a conversation amongst themselves, "once you find the relationships that are healthy, the place that is nourishing, and the will to face your inner struggles, growth is inevitable."

Katara hummed in agreement, watching the back of Aang's head. I felt she was going to say something but was cut off when Aang announced we'd already circled the city and come back to the Fire Nation Ambassador's house in the upper ring of Ba Sing Se, where Zuko and I would be staying the night before heading home in the morning.

I gave my friends one last hug and held on a second longer to Katara, "Bow before no man, ok?" I said to her.

She smiled, "You can count on that."

We bid them goodnight and they took back to the sky, the town they were staying at for the current crisis wasn't too far.

"Was it relationship trouble?" Zuko asked, referring to my conversation with Katara.

"Yeah, but you know how it is, they're young, in love, their closest friends are marrying each other..."

"Right," Zuko said, putting his arm around my waist as we looked up at the stars. "Speaking of getting married, do you want to go inside and talk about it?"

"How could you tell?" I asked, leaning into him playfully.

"Please, I know when you're overwhelmed, and you definitely were when I asked you. It only took, what, half a minute before you could give me any kind of response?"

I laughed, "It was a lot but I was fine, and my brain was having a hard time piecing the whole statement together. You were a little misleading."

We entered the house and I turned to close the door when Zuko said; "Sorry, I'll work on that."

"It's ok," I chuckled, reaching up to give him a kiss on the cheek, "Let's have a seat."

We sat at the very decorative cushions by the center of the main room. The Fire Nation Ambassador's House was currently empty, as the ambassador was back in the Fire Nation and he had graciously offered us to stay during our visit. The Earth Kingdom certainly dressed the house lavishly with silks and tapestries.

"About everything you said earlier..." I glanced down.

"Yeah?"

"Did you really mean what you said? All that stuff about giving up your throne for me...?"

He placed a hand on my cheek and guided my gaze to his piercing golden eyes, "I meant every word."

I leaned in to press my forehead against his, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down my heart. The feeling in my chest and deep in my gut scared me. It was hot and spinning and felt like it was burning a hole in my abdomen, pulling me closer to him. But that was ok, right? Because I'll always have Zuko there for me, to watch my back, uplift me, console me...

He tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, "I spent way too long trying to find the right thing to say."

"You could have said nothing at all and I probably would have asked you to marry me," I said, moving to rest my chin on his shoulder. His arms reflexively rested themselves around me like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Nix, I love you, I'm so in love with you that I've forgotten every word that wasn't your name."

"You make it all make sense, everything. How the stars sing of my love for you, and how the world grows vibrant of my desire to be near you and how the sky burns every night as the sun crosses the horizon solely because of how much I love you."

"I can't wait until we can look down at our daughter and know that she has two parents who are perfectly and completely in love."

"Zuko," I said, pulling away from him to look him in the eye, "I think I'm afraid of how much I love you."

He smiled a kind of sad smile and leaned in to give me a slow kiss, "Me too," he whispered.

I kissed him again.

"So... as much as I've studied Fire Nation customs, I don't really know much about how marriage works here, what exactly is expected?"

"Well, typically the marriage is arranged, the engagement is only as long as it takes to plan the wedding which is handled by the husband's family, and then there is a dowry to be paid from the wife's family, then there's the wedding. I'm assuming things are very different for the Sun Warriors."

"Yeah," I laughed slightly, "You could say that. For starters, engagements can last for months, sometimes years, and while engaged the couple moves in together, and then once they're married, they are anointed by the dragons and are expected to... have children."

He nodded, "So we have very different options here," he said with a smile.

"I mean, we're already a pretty unconventional match, would it make sense to..."

"Do a bit of both?" he finished for me.

"Or even make it up as we go? I mean, if we're kind of throwing out the rule book why not just write a new one?" I asked.

"One that's more accessible, make it normal for people to be engaged and married how they want."

I smiled, "This sounds like it's tieing in nicely to your new laws, boxito."

"Well, I am full of good ideas over here."

"Alright Mr. Good Ideas, how long do you want to be engaged?"

He shrugged, "What's the rush? I have everything I could ever dream of, why don't we take our time?"

I smiled, "I agree, and not that we really have to talk about all of this right now, because I know the Fire Nation has their kind of conservative view on it, and I only mention it because it's pretty common for people in my tribe, and you don't have to say yes or anything, it's just to put it out there-"

"Nix," he chuckled and I could feel heat rising to my cheeks, "what are you trying to say?"

I took his hands, looking down at our interlocked fingers to avoid eye contact, "Do you want to be more intimate?"

"Um... do you?"

"Well," I looked up, "I asked you first."

"I asked you second,"

"Zuko, answer the question."

"But my answer depends on your answer!"

"But how do you feel?" my voice was rising, "I asked you."

"I don't want to say the wrong thing!"

"There is no right or wrong! How do you feel? What do you want?!"

His hands tightened around mine and I felt myself pulled in. His mouth locked mine in a kiss and the blush that had previously crept onto my face now flushed my whole body.

I held onto the front of his robes as his hands slid down my back, resting on my waist. "I want you," he murmured in between kisses. He leaned into me and I was forced to move my hands behind me on the floor to keep balance.

Zuko pulled away, hovering over me, "Do you want me?" he asked, his voice even deeper than normal, his hands on either side of me.

A shiver jolted down my spine, I looked at his lips, then back to his eyes, "Yes."

He guided me down to lay on the cushion, positioned above me. I could tell he was waiting for me to make a move.

I tilted my head up to press my cheek against his and let my hands find their way down his chest to the tie around his robe. The silk came undone easily with a tug, spilling open and tickling my exposed abdomen as it fell.

I placed my hands on his bare chest and I could feel his breath hitch as it exhaled against my neck.

He lowered himself onto his elbows and pressed his mouth to my shoulder. His weight lay comfortably on me with one of his knees between mine, and I slipped my hands around to his back as his chest pressed against mine.

In the gentle candlelight, splayed out on those extravagant cushions, Zuko and I became one. With whispers of love and adoration, with the thrill of exploration, and the satisfaction of finally having something that had been desired and dreamed of for so long.