Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mornings are the bane of Jungkook’s existence. 

It’s the feeling of haziness, re-calibrating his muddled senses. It’s the unpleasant sensation of crusted eyelids that he struggles to pry and keep open, and the dryness of his mouth. He much prefers night, especially ones where he’s so tired every blink feels heavy, each one in succession bringing him into the throes of sleep. 

In all honesty, as a result of him being in-tuned with himself and ignoring the fact that Jimin calls him an overgrown toddler because of this, the manner in which he wakes up would set the tone for the day. Sleepy Jungkook waking up from an alarm versus Sleepy Jungkook rousing before the alarm sets off yields very different outcomes. The latter, much more unpleasant. 

However, mornings with Seokjin almost never turned out that way. With the way the warmth would seep into his senses, as cringe-inducing as Taehyung would deem it, Seokjin was, is and always will be his favourite start. 

Which is why the first thing he feels is disappointment when the arms that were around him the night before were gone. The second thing he feels is irritation, because of his incessant ringer from his phone. The third thing he experiences is pain when he’s blindly dragging his hand around the night table in the darkness of the room, eyes barely open, and banging his hand against the rigid base of the table lamp.

The frown is already etched into his face when he answers the FaceTime call, lying on his side to answer a much more presentable Jimin on the other side. “Whut,” Jungkook grunts out. 

“ You aren’t awake yet?!” Jimin’s smile falls off his face. Good. “ I told Jin-hyung to wake you up! I’m 5 minutes away so you better be out of bed!”

“Mmm.” Jungkook hums absentmindedly. He’s barely listening and it shows through Jimin’s increase in volume. 

Jungkook perks up when he hears the door open, his brain autopiloting to Seokjin Seokjin Seokjin .

Seokjin quietly toes his shoes off, his dark silhouette moving through the room. He eyes Jungkook down before realizing he’s awake. “Oh,”

It’s silent before Jimin catches on. He starts chattering again, trying to complain about how everything is late this, off schedule that--Jungkook musters the strength to say “I’ll see you in 5,” before hanging up. 

A light, squeaky chuckle resonates through the room, through Jungkook, and he thinks he’s finally, fully awake. Seokjin draws the curtains open, light spilling in and the first thing Jungkook notices is the platter of food he had brought in.

“Food,” Jungkook blurts out.

“Morning, to you too. I got breakfast, eat something quickly before Jimin gets here.” 

He hauls himself up, Seokjin meeting him in the middle to attempt a kiss. Self-consciousness kicks in and he dodges it, getting a misplaced smooch awkwardly on the side of his mouth. “Mmh, morning breath, ‘s gross,”

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Okay, it’s not that bad today. I wouldn’t be doing this if we had ramyeon as a midnight snack. This is what I get for trying to be romantic to you, is this how it’ll be once we’re married?”

Instead of retorting like he usually does so well, his brain short-circuits.

Oh, Jungkook muses. I’m getting married this week.  

Like it had been since they’d arrived on Jeju Island a couple of days ago, the realization never fails to flood his stomach like a swarm of honeybees--butterflies are overrated and could never encapsulate the feeling of wanting to keel over and maybe have the ground swallow you up. Maybe it only happens to him, because Kim Seokjin is going to be his husband . 

His puny train of thought crashes embarrassingly at the sudden kiss Seokjin plants on his lips. His mouth wavers at Seokjin’s affectionate yet smug gaze on him. Gross , is the first thing he wants to say, the word lacking any real malice but it’s too damn early for this. Receiving Seokjin's affection without combusting requires ten minutes of mental preparation.“You’re getting so pink, my Jweykey , did I make you speechless?”

“Yeah, right,” Jungkook scrunches his nose at Seokjin’s cute talk, palming his (handsome, gorgeous) face and shoves him away with a smile playing at his lips. Half of this endearing action can be blamed on his desire to go wash his face, the other in a natural reaction to the honeybee swarm taking over his gut. 

As he stalks over to the washroom, cheeks aflame, Seokjin calls out after him. “Wait! What about breakfast? Hey!”

Jungkook throws his head back, taking in his fiance’s comical expression of exasperation, and laughs gleefully. 

The three of them weave through various outlet stores, waiting for their much-anticipated pedicure appointment, Taehyung fully responsible for the day's itinerary. Which is good, because if Jungkook had the choice, he'd probably hit the resort's swimming pool and stay there all day until his skin turns all pruney. Seokjin doesn't hold his hands when they're like that though, as he finds the feeling to be "squishy and unpleasant", whatever that means. 

Back and forth, Jimin and Taehyung have been talking non-stop about the venue and planning details, in which he thought he gave approval months ago. In the past ten minutes, the discussion veered into how Jimin wanted his hair done, and which of the five suits Taehyung should wear. 

“Literally whatever you want,” Jungkook repeats for the umpteenth time. “You could show up in a cape for all I care--actually wait, don’t do that. Not that.” 

“I will not let Taehyung walk beside me if he pulls up looking like he robbed a secondhand fabric store,” Jimin says offhandedly.

“He looks like that all the time,” Jungkook snickers, gesturing at his choice outfit for the day, his patterned shirt and baggy pants that were rolled up mid-calf for reasons pertaining to the “hot” weather. Call it a high-class farmer aesthetic. 

They find themselves in a cosmetics store, Jungkook quickly being drawn to a newly released collection of ‘intense shade’ lipsticks from Laneige . Jimin’s right beside him, while Taehyung ventures off to the display of lotions. 

He can imagine Seokjin wearing the one he picks up, a shade called Coral Effect.  

“That’s too bright for you, Kook,” Jimin the peanut gallery comments. “I think that darker one’s more of your color.”

He decides to brush the criticism off by grumbling at him and definitely not imagining himself running it along Seokjin’s plush lip--

Their hushed commotion brings the attention of a store rep, makeup sharp and expression a tad too bright for him. Her name tag reads Soonkyu, and his eyes travel up to her glistening smile. “Hi! Is there anything I can help you with?”

“We’re looking for a shade for him,” Jimin leans on the counter, scanning the display. Jungkook’s no we’re not dies on his tongue when his friend subtly-but-not-really says, “He’s getting married,” 

The store rep gasps in delight. “Oh, congratulations! Is this going to be a gift, or are you looking for something on your big day? May I offer you some services we have so you can have it on your day of?”

“Just--just something for me, probably gonna wear it there...or something,” Jungkook trails off, getting quieter when he feels Taehyung sidle up on his other side. Can they leave , maybe get some food? He really could use an iced tea right now.

“Wonderful, well I can swatch a couple of shades you’re interested in and see how you feel!” As he points randomly to some shades and watches her uncap them, he almost misses Soonkyu’s question: “So may I ask where your…”

“Husband,” Jimin chimes in.

“Husband to be is?” She finishes, with a glint in her eye. She takes a cotton swab and begins to draw line after colored line on his forearm. 

Jungkook eases into something... comfortable, amongst the perfume saturated store, all from just talking about his fiancé. “He’s out doing some other things today. We came here just for the ceremony, I really wanted it to be somewhere like here, less away from the city...so,”

Soonkyu nods in understanding, finishing the final swatch. “I see. He must love you very much,” She blushes, retracting her arms and bowing slightly. “Sorry, if that was out of line,”

His brain short circuits, but shakes his head and realizes he’s got a matching smile with the worker. “Don’t apologize,” The whole situation is comical, odd, endearing. “He does.” 

Jimin’s silent too for once and Jungkook realizes he needs to pick a damn shade. “Oh. I’ll...go with this.”

The kind, yet slightly flustered worker packs up the Raspberry Pink lipstick and checks him out at the cashier, easy small talk bouncing between her and Jimin, with the occasional comment from Taehyung. 

They walk out after leaving several departure greetings, and back into the streets. They make a beeline to the nearest cafe, for the much-needed beverage. 

“She was nice,” Jungkook muses.

“Agreed,” Jimin sighs contentedly. “Super easy to talk to. I love that about people,”

“To you,” Taehyung snickers. “Jungkookie here clammed up really fast. At the slightest mention of Jin-hyung,” 

“ He does love me ,” Jimin mocks, sighing with dramatic flair and garnering looks from some patrons within the tiny cafe. 

He endures their antics until after they order their drinks, and he waits for his iced tea on the other side before speaking up. Taehyung’s midway through groaning expletives with Jimin, a pitiful attempt in his opinion to imitate his and Seokjin’s ...coupling. 

“Shut up,” Jungkook grunts, fiddling with his ring to distract him from the obnoxious noises his friends were making. “I don’t sound as stupid as you when I say it,”

“I bet he doesn’t even remember the first time he said it,” Taehyung smirks, reaching for his drink and stirring it.

Jungkook really does hate it here. Partially because Jimin and Taehyung are mocking him, and while it’s funny he wants to tackle them both to the ground at the same time. Secondly, because they’re right. His heart kind of flops in his chest, a little sadly, because he can’t remember. No, it wasn’t when they made out on his 19th and he drank far too much, belly full of greasy food, riding the high of legality. No, it wasn’t when he and Seokjin went on their first road trip--they said it far too often in that one. 

“I don’t remember. I don’t know when I said it,” He says slowly, sounding alien to him. Oh god, I’m such a shitty husband and we aren’t even officially married .

Taehyung pauses mid-stir. “What do you mean you don’t know?! Jimin said it first for us!” Jimin nods furiously, making Jungkook feel even smaller. 

Jungkook squirms in his seat. “I never thought it mattered who said it first, but...as long as we both meant it,” He felt awfully thirsty, deciding to down his iced tea to avoid the questioning eyes on him. “We just say it so much…”

His mind flashes to many of the declarations they said to each other in any kind of scenario, but he can never trace it back to the first. “He...said it to me last night?”

A collective utterance of disapproval came, making Jungkook’s cheeks flare-up. He bit his lip, suddenly feeling a wave of guilt because was he supposed to remember such things?  

Maybe he’ll ask Seokjin later. Wait. That sounds terrible, just days before his wedding going up to Seokjin like, “Hey, when was the first time we said I love you? Was it you or me? I can’t remember!” 

He groans. “It’s literally the same as hello at this point! You can’t ask me to just know , that’s not fair! It was probably ages ago,”

“Okay, fine. We’re all different but it is a little scary you don’t remember.” Jimin replies calmly, but still maintaining that disbelieving energy. 

“We say a ton of things to each other, does it have to be I love you all the time?” Jungkook pouts. 

“Well…it depends, if it’s romantic and meaningful enough to be compared to I love you, then go ahead,” Taehyung shrugs. “We can be the judges of that.”

Jungkook’s mouth twitches, wanting to debate some more. But no, he’ll prove his point:  that some superficial, simple thing being forgotten is no fault of his. Those three words weren’t empty, and they declared it whenever they could, in any shape or form. 

After a moment of sorting through his brain, Jungkook straightens, taking a confident sip of his iced tea. “Okay, I remember.” 

Chapter Text

The three of them resort to sitting on a bench, basking in the light breeze. It isn’t noon yet, so the sun didn’t start it’s trek in the sky to bear all its humid rays on them. Tourists and island residents alike roam the streets, seeking shade and entering the stores that lined the street. 

Jimin and Taehyung are leaning in, listening intently. The latter slurps the last of his drink obnoxiously. “Tae, stop that. Jungkook’s trying to think,”

“Just helping his thought process,”

“More like stunting it,” Jimin reaches and pinches Taehyung’s side, eliciting a cry.

“Thank you, Jimin-hyung.” Jungkook crosses his arms, gearing up to tell the memory that thankfully popped up in his mind. Proving them wrong has to be one of his favourite things on this planet, besides being with Seokjin of course. “I think this was more than a year ago,”

“Valentine’s Day is overrated,” Seokjin had told him that morning, as he sat there sleepy-eyed, watching Jungkook putz around the kitchen. 

“Of course he would say that.” Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“Shut up! He just started,” Jimin elbows him, jostling Jungkook in the process. 

Said holiday was two days ago and was their second time missing it due to work schedule conflicts. Not that Jungkook minded, he liked the quiet environment of their home, both of them hunched over their island with several mismatched candles lit and feeding each other takeout. 

“You’re just saying that to make yourself feel better.” Jungkook deadpanned. 

Kim Seokjin, resident sous chef, gamer on the side, blueprint Sagittarius and owner of Jungkook’s heart, was a hopeless romantic if he’d ever known one. Missing the holiday that dedicated itself to just that really took a toll on him and it showed. 

“So what if I am? The world is clearly against our love , Jungkook-ah. Which is why it doesn’t matter to me at all.” Seokjin sipped his coffee. 

“If the holiday landed on a day we were free you know damn well—“

“Why didn’t we call in that day,” Seokjin moaned in exaggerated agony, messing up his neatly coiffed hair.

“Beats me,” Jungkook shrugged. He circled around to where his boyfriend sat and encircled his arms around him. “You could call in today and stay here with me.” 

He turned, smooshing his cheek on his shoulder and peered up at him with his ‘baby deer’ eyes, a term coined by Seokjin himself. “Ah, don’t tempt me. Tonight’s gonna be busy.”

Jungkook knew that his position was important and sick day calls were ones that couldn’t be used for an excuse such as Jungkook wants cuddles. It was always worth a try, if seeing Seokjin melt from his word was a good enough reason. 

“Okay, okay. Leave me,” Jungkook cackled at the way Seokjin blindly swatted for him as he pulled away. He migrated to their dinky little loveseat, lying down and staring as Seokjin became immersed in his phone for a few minutes, before sighing at the time. 

“You’ll take care of these?” Seokjin said, gathering his dishes and placing them in the sink. 

“Yeah, of course,” Jungkook answered automatically. It wasn’t like Seokjin was late--he’d get a small safety window of time if he drove fast enough. Which is why he decided to declare, “Actually, no. Need a little something as a fee,”

“What may that be, hm?” Seokjin turned around, smiling. Jungkook’s heart quite nearly skipped a beat at the sight. 

“Doesn’t cost a penny,” Jungkook played along. “A kiss from Ossu Seiromushi’s very own chef? ”

“Sous chef, not quite exec yet. I’ll make an exception for this lump on my couch though. He’s kind of taking up some space, been living in my place for a while. Got a cute face, though.” The older waltzed over slowly, watching the displeased pout on Jungkook’s face much to his amusement. 

“Mean.” Refusing to play along or he would never let Seokjin go, Jungkook lined his lips to his, letting his boyfriend do all the work of bending more than ninety degrees just to reach him. “Mm, thank you. I guess you’re free to go.”

Seokjin laughed, taking his bag for the day, keys in the other. “Thank you, kind lump. I’ll see you tonight,”

“What is the point of this, exactly?” Jimin blurts out. 

Taehyung gapes. “You’re the one calling me out when you’re being the mean one!”

“How are you guys even living? He didn’t even say I love you before Seokjin left! ”

“No, we didn’t say it.” Jungkook takes a long sip. “It’s not a big deal, for fuc--” 

Taehyung frowns. “I could never do that to you, Jimin.” 

Jimin nods solemnly, holding his hand, disregarding an unimpressed Jungkook between them. “I know, Tae. Some people just...they don’t do it the way we do--”

“Let me finish, god, hyung. Anyways, I decided to-- ”

He’d decided it would be a great idea to make a super-belated Valentine’s day dinner. What else would he do on his day off? One, it would prove every disbeliever of his cooking skills and debunk the Jeon Jungkook cannot cook myth. Two, Seokjin would swoon, absolutely swoon over how much he prepared. 

He lied in bed for a good chunk of the early afternoon, lazing around and letting his brain whir up a storm for how he should go about planning the dinner. There was meat in the freezer, good to fry up on their portable grill as soon as he got back. But he’s literally cooking all day. You’re gonna make him wait longer while the meat cooks?

A third opinion was needed, he decided, three hours later as he sat up in bed. He knew exactly who to reach out to.

Yoongi was just the person, and he beamed when said man answered the FaceTime call, looking slightly disgruntled. “Hm? You’re off today? ”

It appeared he was taking time away from his studio office and reclined on the massage chair he’d (unwillingly at first) been gifted to by Hoseok and Namjoon. Jungkook knew it by heart--after all, he’d fallen asleep in it more times than he can count. Thank goodness he caught him on a break--if he was in the middle of working he might’ve gotten ignored at best, a scolding at worst.

“Yeah, I wanted to um...make Jin-hyung a meal. He’s at work right now.”

Yoongi, expression unreadable from there, jostled himself to sit up more with the shaky movements of his phone camera. “Making him a meal, huh? It’s been a long time since you did that.”

“Stop, you make me sound like a bad boyfriend.” Jungkook protested. “We just never really had to.”

“Perks of dating a chef, yeah we get it, Kookie. You live off of luxury leftovers.” A gummy smile spread across his face, making Jungkook return the gesture. He wasn’t wrong per se, but ever since Seokjin’s promotion to sous chef, differing schedules became a normal occurrence.

“Yes, we have none of those,” Jungkook countered. “What do I cook for him, hyung? Come on! If you can’t help me I have no one to turn to, no one ,”

His mind reeled at imagining Namjoon, Taehyung, and Jimin giving him any kind of cooking advice--he was no masterchef himself, but they...were not the most legible sources.

Yoongi went silent for a moment. “Noodles. That’s a must. You would know as good as everyone else he would eat that shit up. As for something else, he’s been wanting some seafood...maybe crab legs, or lobster?”

A lightbulb moment, for lack of better words, caused Jungkook’s face to light up. Seokjin mentioned seafood multiple times in the past couple weeks, but they never acted upon it for whatever reason that Jungkook couldn’t be bothered to remember. 

“He loves lobster. You’re a genius hyung!”

Motivated, he barely caught Yoongi’s response of “ wait, do you even know-- ” before hanging up.

Jungkook examined the website for proper, reliable recipes he could use, choosing Seokjin’s most frequented meals. 

One trek to the market later, Jungkook arrived home with a couple of live lobster friends and ingredients for naengmyeon . 

As he worked hard between their island, the counter and the fridge, the kitchen turned into a temporary warzone. 

After some trial and error with the noodles, the naengmyeon sat readily in the ceramic pot he presented it in, and the lobster had been sitting in the pot for about ten minutes. Jungkook liked to think he wasn’t queasy, but he isn’t sure he would ever get used to seeing the lobster dying miserably in the boiling water bath. He carefully fished it out and drained the water, plating it as nice as he could and even researched nice flavorful biscuits to buy to eat on the side. 

He couldn’t spoil the surprise, so texting Seokjin for any confirmations was a no. 

He decided to text Yoongi a couple of times for some flavouring tips to dodge any mishaps that could come with online recipes. Other than that, Youtube was his only trusted companion now.

The concept of time was beyond him, after the appropriate 10-minute mark of lobster-steaming, Seokjin shot him a text notifying his shift was over. 

The food sat readily, and Jungkook felt restless for some reason. It had been a while since he cooked all-out for Seokjin. Having several fumes of spices and sauces wafting up his nose left him a little light-headed, leaving him sitting on a dining chair and gazing at the food. He was so tempted to take a bite out of a biscuit--he didn’t know when Seokjin would text him next, as it would usually notify his arrival.

He was satisfied with the outcome of the overall presentation. If I walked into something like this, I’d marry them on the spot. 

The image of Seokjin, clad in his apron--preferably the apron only--wrapping his arms around him and maybe showering him in the kisses he loves but claims he hates, proceeding to whisk him away to--

Jungkook jumped when his phone pinged, swiping immediately after seeing Seokjin’s text.

Almost home ^^

Deciding to cave, Jungkook broke a piece of the biscuits and popped it in his mouth, typing with the other hand. Okay, drive safe hyung 

Jungkook had half a mind to ask Seokjin if he’d eaten yet, but that would give the suspense of his surprise away, and Seokjin usually gave a message if he was getting takeout on the way home. 

Snapping his head back up, Jungkook decided to take photos (for bragging rights that he could later send to his friends who are anti-chef-Jungkook), becoming antsy in the process. 

He knew Seokjin would react well, but would he enjoy it? Did the noodles get soggy? Is the lobster big enough for the both of them? Maybe he should have bought more, the market’s ‘jumbo lobster’ deal sounded promising--

The thoughts shut him up when the buzzer went off in their unit, notifying his boyfriend’s entry. With Jungkook deciding to stand abruptly, Seokjin stopped at the same time in the doorway. 

Jungkook was biting his lip as his smile only grew, observing how Seokjin’s eyes brightened when they trailed from the table, to him, and to the table and the food again. His uniform was matted with stains--as it was for every shift--and he looked exhausted. Despite that, if he really was tired, he was good at hiding it. 

“Surprise!” Jungkook announced, beaming at his frozen boyfriend. Maybe if Seokjin wasn’t a chef, he wouldn’t feel this way. No, it surely had to be because he didn’t cook in a while. But most definitely, the older man was the root of all his emotions. 

Seokjin let his bag down, laboured sigh leaving his grinning lips as he gave a couple exaggerated claps in applause.  His arms opened wide as he strode over slowly. Jungkook barely held it together when he threw himself into his space, immediately feeling warmth and smelling the day’s flavours on Seokjin’s clothes as he nuzzled the junction of his neck and shoulder.

 “What’s the occasion Jungkook-ah?” Seokjin leaned back, greeting him with a quick peck. “Hm?”

“Um...it’s kind of like a late Valentine’s day gift…? Also, since I was at home for the day, I really wanted to just return the favor since I don’t do full meals like this…” Jungkook explained, cheeks heating up. 

Dammit, where did all the words in his brain go? Did they just empty themselves every time Seokjin spoke? Things float around in there rent-free for too much, especially if it had to do with the man in front of him.

Seokjin let out an exaggerated groan, bonking his head on his shoulder. “I can’t believe you, Kook. Are you sure Yoongi didn’t stop by?”

In a quick reaction to his joke, Jungkook pouted and hit him on the back, wriggling out of his arms and taking his hand instead. “Rude. I only asked for some help. Like, minimal help.”

“I’m hurt, you couldn’t ask me, your own boyfriend?” Seokjin wiped a fake tear. 

“It would ruin the surprise! Now hurry and take your dirty shoes off,” Jungkook waved him off. “I wanna show you what I cooked!”

“Okay, okay,” Seokjin surrendered, retreating to the doorway and kicking his uniform shoes off before letting Jungkook drag him around the corner by the hand again. 

He looked really proud--and in good well-deserved reason, the table was set up with a hefty sized bowl of naengmyeon and a meaty lobster on one of their nicer platters, with various side sauces lined up prettily along with the main dishes. Rice and side dishes sat on the other end of the main courses, while two plates were set up for both of them. The biscuit with the sizable piece missing...Jungkook hoped he wouldn’t comment. 

“Wow,” Was all the older male said. 

“Yeah, so…” Jungkook clasped his hand atop Seokjin's. “I wanted to do something special so I got some noodles, which I know we both like...and I made your favourite. Well, just lobster, no other meat, sorry. You don’t get this one often, I figured we could treat ourselves--ah!”

Seokjin dove and wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s torso in the tightest embrace, lifting him onto his toes. Jungkook couldn’t help the peals of laughter leaving his mouth, as soft lips left multiple kisses on his cheek, his jawline, nearing his neck. 

“I need to kiss the cook,” Seokjin, muffled in his neck, said. “My attentive, sweet, slightly bratty cook.”

“You’re so--” Jungkook halted, between a giggle and a sigh when Seokjin left a little nibble in his last kiss. “The food, the food will get cold,”

Seokjin relented, not forgetting to show his gratitude by capturing his lips with his own. How Jeon Jungkook hadn’t melted into a puddle yet is beyond him. “Fine, fine.”

Watching Seokjin eat might be the second most fulfilling sensation next to eating something himself. Gauging his reaction to his cooking always sends some sort of serotonin boost within. Having those sharp eyes widen as he continued to stuff his mouth endearingly--Jungkook nearly forgot to start eating his own food when they made eye contact. 

Seokjin nudged his foot, mouth wet with butter and cheeks full, eyes shining. “Thank you, Jungkook-ah.”

He smiled, gazing right back. “Anything for you, hyung.”

“Wait. That’s it?” Taehyung blinks, almost as if Jungkook abruptly interrupted a daydream once he stopped talking. 

“What do you mean that’s it?” Jungkook retorts, feeling a little deflated. What did they want from him? 

Jimin pats him on the arm. “It’s alright, Kook. While your story was a little anticlimactic, it was pretty cute. I guess.”

“I hate you guys,” Jungkook whines, kicking his legs and standing up from the bench, ignoring his friends’ commotion. 

“Nooo Jungkook don’t go you’re so sexy--ow!” 

“You said you’d be the judge and I have given you the story to judge! You guys are just being annoying.” Jungkook crosses his arms, and his legs for extra pettiness.

“Tae, stop.” Jimin rolls his eyes. “Look. I think ‘I made your favourite’ is really cute. Okay? But--”

“But it doesn’t have the same energy as I love you.” Taehyung chimes in. “Can you really not remember the exact moment? Or something of the sort?”

Jungkook sniffs. “No.”

Jimin gently coos at him, bringing him back to sit beside them on the bench. “Do you wanna ask Jin hy--”

“No, hell no. He can’t know I’m this forgetful,”

Taehyung shushes him. “You are not. You just need to think, don’t worry! This one barely took you an hour. ”

“I’m sick of not remembering, this is gonna bother me until I’m old and it’s your guys’ fault,” Jungkook complains. He chews his lip, feeling his friends’ gaze on him. This is such a quick defeat, even for him, but he felt that way the moment the idea was brought up.

“You better not, Seokjin-hyung babies you enough already.” Jimin teases. 

“Does not, thank you. He takes care of me very well, and vice versa.” The youngest rebutes weakly, trying to come up with another time that his and Seokjin’s love reigned superior so his friends could finally hop off his case. 

Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Other than brute force, please. We know you like to flex your...gains, on us.” 

Jungkook is this close to marching to the nearest store and abandoning his friends. Alas, his pride is the only thing keeping him rooted to that bench. 

Jimin gasps, as if he had his own epiphany. “How about that time where you guys were moving into your new place? I’m sure it was special.”

Oh, it was a very special time--and very painful, with their hoarding habits resulting in multiple boxes piling at the elevators, waiting to be hoisted into their new space. “Jimin-hyung. As much as I hate to say it, you might be onto something.” His face scrunches up. “I hope I never say that again.”

Clearing his throat, and making the biggest effort to not stare at Jimin’s smug face, he recalls, “It’s been nearly three years sinced we moved…”

Chapter Text

They’ve progressed from their position on the bench, at Taehyung’s insistence. Something about the sun being too bright, and how he doesn’t want to sit for 2 hours until their scheduled pedicure. 

The three of them seek refuge in a shady park, still clutching their drinks, diluted by the melted ice chunks and hands wet with condensation. They find a quaint picnic table to sit at, away from the squealing children on the playground across the field. 

Jimin leans in on his arm, a smile spread widely on his face. It seems he’s much more interested in the story since he’d suggested it. Like a cat watching a mouse stumble right under its paws, or whatever the saying was. But one cannot catch Jungkook slipping.

“It was the best birthday gift ever, that’s for sure.” Jungkook grins. “Comes to a close second to the year Seokjin bought me a new camera.” 

Jimin boos at him. “Don’t even try to be humble,”

“I remember when Seokjin first asked you to move in,” Taehyung reminisces, mind having seemed to wander off and come back again.

Indeed, it was Jungkook’s birthday party that weekend. But the question popped when it was least expected--mostly because Jungkook wasn't the first one who found out.

“Wait, why are you saying this?” Jungkook frowns at Taehyung’s sudden narration.

He glares at him in return. “I’ll never forget the night I almost broke a limb. Or my neck. Could’ve been both if it wasn’t for that damn--”

Taehyung and Jimin were running late. The modest space of the apartment left plenty of room with only five of them, and two more definitely would make it cozy. 

In the compact living room, Hoseok was in a daze, leaning heavily against Yoongi and facing the effects of drinking too much out of excitement. The dancer clearly hadn’t had a drink in a while. 

With the TV running a noisy variety show, in addition, mild music playing from the kitchen and the idle chatter coming and going in waves, the moment and people made it all feel like home to the celebrant. Jungkook, clad in his oversized shirt and matching grey sweatpants, looked like a small round lump curled up beside Seokjin. He peered over the older man’s shoulder when a notification popped up on his phone.

“They said they just got here,” He announced before Seokjin could. 

Namjoon, who sat in a separate loveseat and stretched comfortably, chuckled at that. “Took them long enough. The day Jimin or Tae get their driving licenses, they won’t have the bus to blame anymore.”

“Says you, Joon.” Yoongi replied with a snort. “You don’t have yours either,” 

Namjoon, who rounded out Yoongi’s harsh edges better than anyone, deflected it with a tired, dimpled smile--and a balled-up, well-aimed napkin straight to the other’s head. “At least I can pay attention to the bus times. I don’t have the company to distract me like those two are with each other.”

“Please,” Seokjin frowned. “The streets could be trembling with an earthquake and they wouldn’t notice,”

“Would probably blame it on their shaky knees of passion towards each other,” Jungkook added with a laugh.

“Must you remind me how much they shit-talked us that day, Tae?” Jimin protests. 

Taehyung sits up. “I can never forget the number of losses I took, Jiminie. Jungkook doesn’t even deny it! He’s silent!”

Jungkook, unamused, says, “You didn’t give me a chance to talk--”

“Anyways! I’m almost done. Jiminie and I got to the door, and--”

The incessant knocks caused Seokjin to suppress his laughter, removing himself from Jungkook and the couch to march over to his door. Peeking through the peephole, he decided to poke some fun at his two friends. 

“What’s the password?” He yelled. His shoulders shook as he contained his snorts.

Hoseok burst out full-on guffaws in his drunken stupor on the couch, watching everything with happy, glassy eyes. 

“Come on, Jin-hyung!” Jimin whined from the other side. 

A couple more aggressive knocks came. Seokjin repeated the question, receiving banging in return. “If you guys want to come in, the password is, Seokjin-hyung you’re so handsome and we’re sorry.”

“No,” Taehyung groaned. 

“Let us in!” Jimin exclaimed, voice shrill. 

Seokjin snickered. “Okay, at least the first part?” The neighbors would definitely be contacting him if he kept this game up.

With a weak hit at the door, Jimin and Taehyung drone out Seokjin hyung you’re so handsome in unison, making the lot on the couches double over in sheer glee. He loudly cheered with grandeur as he swung the door open, standing behind it to free the way completely to the late-comers. 

What they didn’t expect was a fuming (with false malice that fooled nobody, that smile growing on his face) Taehyung marching through in giant, exaggerated strides, every movement abrasive. “You guys are gonna get it,”

The beeline towards his friends on the couches was cut short as he slipped on Seokjin’s light blue “non-slip” doormat, its friction lost against the polished wood floors of the apartment. “Ah--!” 

Jimin, no less shrieked uselessly as he watched Taehyung drop into nearly painful splits, legs collapsing under him. The tight jeans he wore suffered greatly, straining under the pressure.

He rolled to the side in time, clutching his side in pain as his impact landed on his loaded messenger bag. Why that was his chosen accessory for the day was beyond all of them--but that was beside the fact that he was a distressed heap on Seokjin’s doorstep.

“Shit--are you okay Taehyung?!” Seokjin rushed immediately over, helping Taehyung up with difficulty--the younger flailed, kicking the doormat out of frustration. 

A jingling noise emanated through the unit, metal scraping against polished wood. A hush fell over the room, in fear of something being broken in the midst of the chaos.

“Hey, what’s that?” Taehyung paused, catching his breath. He pointed to a glint on the floor.

The others sat up and stood like meerkats, all looking in the same direction. Yoongi squinted. “Huh? Did that come from under the rug?”

“So that’s what made Taehyung  fall!” Jimin finally stepped in, slamming the door behind him, and swatted at Seokjin’s arm. 

Taehyung squatted to pick it up, scrutinizing the object before handing it to Seokjin. “It’s a key. Why'd you keep that shit there, hyung? That’s dangerous, you should only hide spare keys under a doormat when you have a legit house. Concrete could never do me dirty like that,”

Seokjin, who had been silent the entire time, burned a hole in the hand that held the lone key. 

He clutched it, and scanned the room, meeting Jungkook’s eyes from where he stood in front of the farthest couch. His head was cocked in confusion.

Ears red, he cleared his throat. “Well, I was supposed to do this later. But since Taehyung...found it, this is actually a gift for our birthday celebrant. Jungkookie,”

Said man perked up immediately, stepping forward a bit to Hoseok and Yoongi trying to see what was going on. “Huh?”

“This is a key, it’s your birthday gift.” Seokjin continued, swallowing. The room suddenly got quiet. “I hid it under the mat...I was going to ask you...well I wanted--I want,” He took a deep breath, feeling his cheeks heat up as he looked at his lover straight in the eyes. “I want you to move in with me if you’ll have it. Me. Um, ” He opened his hand and walked closer, stumbling over his feet and his words. “If you’ll have me, and this key to this apartment--”

Jungkook’s eyes lit up, mouth open in shock once the situation and its importance sunk in.

Once upon a time, Seokjin deemed Jungkook as the prettiest-ugly-crier in the world. Whatever that meant. It was what he described his reaction hours later, in their post celebration haze. 

His eyes immediately watered up, bottom lip trembling in the telltale sign that he was about to unleash some waterworks. Hoseok, concerned, reached out for the youngest but he shook his head in response. “You, you’re s-so dumb, Jin-hyung, this is crazy,” He said wetly, between sobs. “O-Of course I’ll move in with you,”

Cheers erupted in the apartment. Jungkook’s bawling was drowned out as he muffled them against Seokjin’s chest, trembling body held together by the older’s strong arms. Jungkook felt safe, and he felt loved as he cradled the new key tightly in his hands. 

“Okay. That was cute, I remember that.” Jimin giggles. 

“I do too, with added pain in my ankle. And my side.” Taehyung supplies. “Very realistic memory, I can feel it ache to this day,” He says dramatically.

“He said sorry to you!” The youngest reasons--their entire friend group had the capability to be petty, but Taehyung and Jimin can definitely crank it to a new level. “Multiple times! Joon-hyung even let you take over the big couch to ‘recover’!”

Taehyung shrugs. “You’re right. And I got to drink Seokjin’s homemade punch first, so all is forgiven. I just need to keep my leg-acy alive, you know?”

“Given your leg’s failures then, that would be a pun Jin-hyung would approve of.” Jimin sighs, patting his partner’s thigh. “Now, let Kook talk about what happened when they moved in!”

Jungkook sits back, staring up at the trees to try and recover his part of the story that had been thrown aside at Taehyung’s little outburst. “So, I think I officially started moving my stuff…”

It was a couple of months after--smack-dab in the middle of December--when Jungkook brought everything to move into Seokjin’s place. Jungkook and the moving truck worker unloaded the boxes from the side of the street into the lobby, a back and forth process in the frigid temperatures.

The older male ran down in a frenzy, meeting his rosy-cheeked, red-nosed boyfriend in the lobby. He was dressed comfortably, shivering from the cold draft that came in the entryway. 

“Hi, Kook.” He greeted, hissing when Jungkook shamelessly pressed his cold self into the other for a hug. He clutched the material of his bubble-jacket as he pressed a warm kiss on the tip of his freezing nose. “Sorry I’m late, I’ll help you with these bags and get to those boxes after?”

He didn’t even get a chance to respond as Seokjin already brushed past him, to his gigantic duffel bag slumped against the foyer door. Jungkook saw as he sped away, mouth open before shaking his head, smiling fondly.

The process moved quite quickly, with Jungkook opting to take the stairs a few times much to Seokjin’s dismay--they kept meeting and missing each other out of sync, and the younger found it too funny when Seokjin would scramble after him. The moving truck had been long gone after an hour passed, the driver off to his next client. 

Jungkook arrived at the last box, heaving after just hauling his gaming setup -- barely contained in two boxes, mind you.

 Seokjin was just ending a call with the landlord on the phone, and he decided it was a good time to take a break and plop himself onto the lobby’s couch. 

Realization set in, as the elevators whirred and the occasional resident bustled in and out, either seeking refuge from the snow or begrudgingly going into the biting cold. This is home now.

“...thank you again, I will send you the documents tonight. Bye now,” Seokjin finished, hanging up and emerging from the elevator corridors. 

“I love your business voice,” Jungkook sighed once his boyfriend reached him.

“Why thank you, glad to know you enjoy my fake enthusiasm when I talk to people,” Seokjin replied. “You tired?”

Jungkook blinked sleepily despite himself, a goofy smile on his face. “No, taking a break. Shhh.”

Seokjin took a glance at the setting sun, and then the final piece of cargo waiting patiently at the foot of the couch. “What’s this?”

Jungkook, craning his head to see, dropped it back down and huffed. “Extra stuff. For my setup. It’s my other monitor and shit, I think. A bunch of cords too, and my extension cord and power bar. Oh and the console--hey, stop,”

He frowned when he saw Seokjin bending down and hefting the sizable box up, resting steadily in his hands. “C’mon, you’ve been lifting all day.”

“So have you,” Jungkook pouted, sitting up. “Lemme. It’s my stuff, and that shit’s like, thirty pounds. Maybe more if I dumped all my desk action figures in it but I lowkey forgot what box that was in--”

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Don’t even worry.” He maneuvered himself to Jungkook, nudging his foot against the other’s chunky winter boot. He peered over the box and down at him. “It’s not heavy. I’m stronger than I look, I managed to carry you a bunch of times.”

Jungkook grumbled something along the lines of I didn’t use my entire dead weight on you but it died as Seokjin already started forward, whistling and leaving him no choice to follow him. He blushed seeing Seokjin hold the box with one arm, propping it against his hip while he held the elevator door open. 

“Thanks,” Jungkook murmured, pressing the button to Seokjin’s floor--an action he was all too familiar with. In all the times he’d come there, he would have never predicted how it felt knowing he was there permanently. 

As the lift made its way up, Jungkook basked in the amiable silence. He was beyond elated. Nights with the two of them huddled in this small space, days where they would be going down to start their day together--it was everything he didn’t know he desired so much. 

He shamelessly stared at his boyfriend, who was leaning against the wall, looking ridiculously handsome in the dingy light of the elevator. Jungkook bonked his head on his shoulder, before creeping up and kissing the underside of his jaw. In return, Seokjin nipped his nose playfully.

The ding of the elevator temporarily popped their intimate bubble, and they quickly moved out of the small space and down the hall. This place would be theirs, for a long, long time. 

Seokjin allowed Jungkook to try at the door, happily trailing after him once they got in. “Alrighty. Well, we’re done.”

“Thank you, hyung. For helping.” 

“Ah, so respectful now are we?” Seokjin teased, lightly nudging him with his box-filled arms when Jungkook pinched him. “Welcome home, Jungkook-ah.”

His heart swelled, felt so full as he let his giggles loose, jumping Seokjin and hugging him--careful to not knock his precious belongings to the floor. 

“You know. Even though you’re very buff,” Jimin starts. “And Hoseok hyung has an irrational fear of your muscles, I kind of forget Jin-hyung’s like…”

“Built,” Taehyung blurts out. “Fit, broad. Packed--”

“Please, don’t talk about him that way,” Jungkook whines. “That’s so weird.”

Taehyung points a finger at him. “You’re not fooling anyone, Jungkookie. You get that Dorito-bod all to yourself and you can’t say we’re wrong.”

Jungkook’s fingers twitch--he’s facepalmed too much today, so he settles for a head-bang on the table. That’ll leave a mark. Maybe he’ll ask Seokjin to kiss it better. “You’re not wrong...but still. Go ogle at each other instead.”

Jimin shrugs shamelessly. “You hate it when we do that too.”

“My point still stands. Seokjin hyung isn’t shirtless enough, maybe drag him to the beach later. I know who to call too, once Jimin and I move this fall.” Taehyung stands, collecting their now-empty drink cups. 

As he marches away to the recycling bin, Jimin turns back to Jungkook. “That was so sweet of him though. You’re lucky to have him.”

“I know,” Jungkook hums with pride, dodging the incoming pinch from Jimin. 

“When it comes to doing that, it’s mostly me. Tae’s--”

“Tae’s what?” Speak of the devil himself, sidling up beside Jimin. Said man jumps, whirling around--the recycling bin is a lot closer than he initially thought. 

“He’s calling you weak,” Jungkook blames, laughing when the couple dissolves into lighthearted banter. 

“While you’re lucky to have Jin-hyung, I wouldn’t trade Tae for the world. Right? Hm?” Jimin is quick to make up with Taehyung--an all too common occurrence, something Jungkook envies from time to time. 

“Yeah, and at least I can say I love you to him from the get-go--”

Jungkook groans. “What? Again with this?”

“Jungkookie, this story only fulfilled our Buff Jin-hyung agenda.” Taehyung explains. “But you two? Moving in and you didn’t even say it?”

“We said it the next morning--”

“But was it the first time?”

“--no!”

Taehyung shrugs. “Then try again. Give us something juicy, tell us the first time-- or prove that we’re right.”

“As if this wasn’t juicy enough--” Jungkook feels the temptation to just call his fiance and get it over with--but his pride. Oh, his pride got in the way too often. So much that it affects him and Seokjin as well. A thought immediately comes in--bless his genius brain sometimes--and he gasps. “I got one.”

“Well, that’s great.” Jimin stands, fixing his sunglasses. “Our appointment soon, so we should make our way there.”

Taehyung is quick to add, “Don’t think you’re off the hook, you can tell us on the way.”

Jungkook bites his lip--this one he couldn’t forget, even if he wanted to.

Chapter Text

They have twenty minutes of their trek, making them ten minutes early to the nail salon--if they walk fast enough. Jungkook’s mind occupies itself on how to start the story.  His two friends knew the events of his story well, but not to the extent that Jungkook had to experience firsthand.

As they cross the road, Taehyung’s phone pings from the GPS app. “A straight walk from here, nice.” 

“Great, hopefully we get some decent shade along the way,” Jimin sighs, fanning himself. 

“Jungkook’s storytime will let the walk pass by quickly,” Taehyung reassures. He reaches and presses his sweaty palm to Jimin’s, grinning as he hisses in response but keeps his hand there anyways. “He can keep telling it even if we get there, right, Jungkookie?”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow, hesitating before drawing out a passive “Sure..?” 

“I mean, if you want to, of course,” Jimin adds, elbowing Taehyung for good measure. “We don’t know how in-depth you’ll get and some people can be nosy ,” He accentuates with another elbow to Taehyung’s abdomen, to stop him from so-obviously making faces behind his back.

“It’s fine. I guess I know how to start off,” Jungkook interrupts. “You guys remember when Jin-hyung got accepted to ICE?”

“ICE?” The two chime in confusion. 

“The Institute of Culinary Education,” Jungkook explains exasperatedly. “The school in LA?”

“Oh yeah, shit.” Jimin gapes. “How could I forget, he was gone for like, eight months!”

Jungkook’s heart pangs just thinking about it. The things that unraveled during those eight months were akin to an extreme rollercoaster. “Mmhm, that was the one.”

Taehyung sighs. “How could you forget that, Min? We were all there at the airport. I drove us for fuck’s sake--”

Jungkook’s hand was clammy against Seokjin’s as he held on tight, keeping both of their entwined hands in his lap. How Taehyung managed to snatch his family’s van was beyond him, but he didn’t complain, as it was far from his main concern. The rumbling noises of planes taking off did nothing to quell the lurch in his stomach, his racing heart. 

Seokjin was leaving him, leaving them all for several months. He would be across the world and gone from his side. Out there working his talents away from home, showing his potential to a prestigious academy for culinary education. Jungkook knew of the application, but like Seokjin, foolishly brushed it off as an attempt at something to test the chances.

“ It couldn’t be me ,” Seokjin had said flippantly. Oh, how Jungkook wanted to laugh about it when the thought crossed his mind.

When the acceptance letter had come in that one fateful day, Jungkook was elated and riddled with uneasy nerves at the same time. 

As Seokjin said his goodbyes, he didn’t let go once. He vaguely remembered crying a tad too much, and finally letting go at the last possible moment. 

“We’ll um. Let you two have a moment,” Hoseok said, eyes a little misty themselves. He towed the rest of them to the side, observing the incoming planes through the massive windows that the airport boasted.

“‘M sorry,” Jungkook whispered. 

Seokjin gave a watery laugh, not bothering to hold his own silent tears in. “Why are you sorry?”

“You-you had to lug that suitcase and your hand probably hurts, ‘cos I didn’t want to let go.” Jungkook blubbered, and Seokjin grinned. “I still don’t want to.”

“You’re going to have to, soon,” Seokjin said quietly, quick to assuage him. That ignited the onslaught of sobs within the younger. “And my hand is fine, see?”

As he flexed his free hand, Jungkook was quick to grab it with his other one. He managed a smile of his own, finally, the first one he cracked since they left Seokjin’s apartment. “Fine…”

Seokjin swung their linked hands, pressing a kiss atop Jungkook’s bangs. “Now stop crying. Didn’t I tell you that you’re an ugly crier?”

A weak kick to his shin. “Shut up.” He giggled, beaming up at him. Even in the harsh, unflattering lighting of the terminal, Seokjin still looked so amazing, rivaling any idol’s airport visuals.

They stand still like that, everything moving forwards without them. Jungkook relished in it, soaking in every little bit--until the telltale beeps echo through the space. The final boarding call.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Korean Air KE017 to Los Angeles are closing their doors in…

Jungkook’s face crumpled immediately, and he felt himself being pulled into a hug, joined by two, three, four more bodies. 

The chorus of goodbyes barely registered until the comforting weight lifted. 

He let Seokjin kiss him, their hands finally separating. 

“Text me,” Jungkook sniffled, brain going on autopilot. “And call only when you can, okay?”

Seokjin looked just as pained to leave, a bittersweet expression on his face as tears dripped off his chin. “I will. I promise. Try not to miss me too much,” He attempted a failed wink, eliciting a small laugh. “Every goodbye makes the next hello, closer, okay?”

“Okay.” Jungkook couldn’t resist snatching one last kiss, not knowing how to deal with the fact that he wouldn’t be able to for the next eight months. “Bye, I love you. Love you so much,”

“Bye, Kook.” Seokjin exhaled against him, a breath filled with burdens. He had to go. “I love you too.”

“Tissue?”

Jungkook blushes, blinking and gazing up, anywhere but at his friends. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t need one. Pfft.”

“Okayyy, we’ll just pretend you aren’t tearing up.” Jimin rolls his eyes. “Big baby.”

“We said it,” Jungkook says abruptly.

“What do you mean?” 

“I love you. We said it.”

Taehyung nods, looking unconvinced. “Oh, Jungkookie, indeed you two did. But it hadn’t been the first time, right? You guys were dating for a while already. Keep going.”

Jungkook, now void of any tears, splutters, “What--”

“Was it, or was it not the first time you said the L-word?”

Jimin snorts. “What are we, ten-year-olds--”

“WAS IT, or WAS IT NOT-”

Jungkook groans, voice raising. “No, no it wasn’t! So why should I continue? I’ll just tell a different story. Jeez.” He squirms uncomfortably.

Taehyung pauses. “Wait. Um, can you like, finish this one?”

“Why.”

Jimin interjects, probably sensing Jungkook’s urge to toss himself into the nearest body of water to disappear. “Well, we never really knew a lot about what happened in those eight months. Other than the fact that you were kind of messy. A lot messy. Very, very messy.” 

“I mean you don’t have to tell us…” Taehyung chimes in, although Jungkook knew he half-meant it. 

While Jungkook has the potential to be an equal pain in the ass as Jimin and Taehyung could be sometimes, he rarely goes against any of his hyungs, contrary to popular belief. 

That and the GPS announces a 2-minute delay to the 15 minutes they have left to cover. Whatever that means. 

The first two months, in Jungkook’s opinion, were manageable. The easiest, dare he say. He was still thriving off the remnants of Seokjin’s energy so to speak. Vibes, as Taehyung would say, a new favourite word he frequently used. Seokjin’s touch could still be imagined, the squeeze of his arms around him the day he left for the boarding gate. Texts would constantly be exchanged, short little calls checking in on the other created a new routine.

Summer was long over and he too was back in the swing of things. However, the nearly sixteen-hour time difference did favours for nobody--and it became painfully evident. Aside from the fact that Jungkook’s birthday was spent without Seokjin, the gifts the latter sent laved over the fresh, painful absence the younger had been feeling. 

In the constant monitoring of his phone, enabling all notifications and scheduling his hobbies around it became an unconscious habit. Seokjin was responsive more often than not, and in the times they were busy, they’d send chunks of messages for the other to reply with an equally sized chunk back. 

The way Jungkook was glued to his phone or his laptop constantly made it feel like Seokjin was within reach, a bus ride away, or something like that. A voice in his head--well, and Yoongi were telling him to try and limit the usage as he found it harder to stay away from the screens. 

“You’re...kinda addicted to that thing, you know?” Yoongi commented once, on an outing with Jungkook. When the other bristled at that, cheeks turning pink, Yoongi had pity in his eyes as he patted his back. 

“Sorry…” Jungkook lamented, slipping his phone in his pocket, fidgeting as they turned into the cafe they chose to eat at. “I just wished him goodnight and made sure he’s safe and by himself in his apartment…”

“I’m sure he’s alright.” Yoongi reassured, “And like you said, Seokjin’s sleeping at this time. You don’t need to worry. Trust me, and most importantly, trust him.”

You don’t need to worry. If only it was that easy.

“I know.”

In December--Seokjin’s birth month, Christmas, New Year's Eve and more--Jungkook felt that statement couldn’t be more of a sign. Or a curse meant to stick in every crevice of his mind and increase his worries tenfold. But, with Seokjin making a surprise visit for a few days during the holidays he’d been elated, riding high after high for days. 

“The head chef who teaches us these lessons is really cool,” Seokjin raved one particular night, as they snuggled in Jungkook’s bed, spending it at his family’s house. “He even emailed all of us this fruitcake recipe we could try for New Years,”

Jungkook, who was satiated with food amongst other things, hummed in agreement. “Can’t wait, you need to show me all your sexy new chef skills,” He jolted away when Seokjin attempted reaching over to pinch his bare chest, chuckles bubbling out of him.

Seokjin relented easily. He closed his eyes as Jungkook reached forward to brush his fallen bangs over, tucking them away behind his ear ever so slowly, relishing in the sensation of the soft locks that he’d been deprived of. “How about you? How’s your progress with the school’s exhibition?” 

Jungkook smiled, thinking about it. “It’s great...Professor Kang sent my photos in to the gallery and hopefully, they’ll get back to me. My friend already got the green light on hers, so…”

“I’m sure they will. Actually I know they will.” He sighed, shifting and locking their legs together.

“You think so?” Jungkook beamed, eyes crinkling with mirth.

 “I’m so proud of you, you know that? Because you’re so talented. And if they have anything to say otherwise, I might have to fly back to fight them.” Seokjin replied, his tone becoming increasingly dramatic, easing giggles from the other. 

It died down quickly, however, because the implications of his last words suddenly made Seokjin seem oceans apart again. “You better promise to. I might lie so you can come back sooner,” He whispered, half-joking. 

The air shifted ever so slightly. Jungkook let Seokjin press what felt like apologetic kisses into his hands, his shoulder, up to his neck to his face. He tried so, so hard not to cry. Stupid. He’s right in front of you, why are you so upset. You ruined the mood--

“Don’t tempt me,” Seokjin said in jest, a sadness hiding somewhere in his tone. “I might do it.”

Jungkook offered a weak smile, brushing a gentle kiss against his lips, remaining there. “I’m kidding. Well, not really. But I’m not sure your head chef would take kindly to you leaving just for my little show.”

The younger yelped when Seokjin pinched him, whining in mock-pain. He held Jungkook’s hands in his, definitely gaining his full attention. “Don’t say that. I would attend if I could...just know that. I wish...I was here to see it.”

“I don’t have a doubt in the world, hyung.” It was Jungkook’s turn to kiss Seokjin’s hands until the crease in his brow disappeared. As much as it pained him, he knew, “I’ll have dozens more that you can go to if I’m successful.”

“You mean when you’re successful.” Seokjin’s lips widened to his cute little smile, where the corners of his mouth tucked in, and Jungkook tried so hard to commit that sight to memory before the real thing left him for a long, long while.

The festivities had ended as fast as it began, and so had Seokjin’s visit. It was only a matter of days before the loneliness rammed into Jungkook like a high-speed train.

By the end of the third month, during a video call, Jungkook cracked under the pressure he’d been harbouring. Keeping up with the “business as usual” mentality in their relationship did more harm than good in recent days. 

His exhibition went really well, having Seokjin on the phone during the casual reception. Jungkook strayed away from the snack table back to the gallery, giving his boyfriend a personal tour. 

Despite it being ungodly hours in Los Angeles, Jungkook’s heart swelled at the tired but charming man on the other line, sleepy eyes blinking in wonder at every piece of artwork he showed off. 

“This is amazing, and the gallery looks so beautiful. Your works just make it even more so. I’m so proud of you.” I’m so proud of you . It echoed within his very being, as Jungkook rattled off on a tangent for another hour. 

However, strange emptiness lingered when Seokjin took no time in hanging up after they exchanged their goodnights .

Jungkook was alarmed when his phone rang at 5 am a couple of weeks later; when Seokjin finally learned how to nail consommé. He had to contain his exhaustion from bleeding into his tone of voice. The evening before was difficult for him, after rushing to finish a nearly-late media assignment. 

“Isn’t that just soup stock?” Jungkook grumbled, clearing his throat realizing he’d sounded cranky and disinterested. 

“Not quite, Jungkookie.”

“Looks...cool,”

Seokjin paused, sensing the disinterest. “Oh, sorry. I’ll let you go. What time is it there?” A moment of panic. “Shit, I thought it was only 3 there I should’ve checked--”

Jungkook, already burying his face in his pillow, hums. “No, no you can explain hyung. I’m listening.”

“...okay, if you say so.” Seokjin straightened up. “So basically, I had to ‘clarify’ this for it to be correct. Look how clear it is, like water! Also, you know you’re doing it right when all the veggies and sediment float to the top.”

“Mmh really,” Jungkook murmured, tiredly observing as Seokjin pointed to what still looked like chicken noodle soup from the market. But, nonetheless, he loved seeing Seokjin so excited.

A smile was on Jungkook’s face, as he watched Seokjin eagerly eat the broth. 

The next morning, he woke with a frown when he realized that he’d fallen asleep during the call. Nothing was left to fill the silence, guilt settling in his gut as he read short goodnight text from Seokjin. 

Sorry for bothering you, bun. Goodnight :)

Jungkook hated to admit it, but contrary to what Yoongi told him not to do, he was worrying. A lot.

The periods longing were more drawn out than usual, the tears constantly at bay, the urge to just keep him on the line forever. 

The responses on the other end fuelled this: shorter paragraphs, clipped phone calls, teetering on something unknown. Jungkook was too afraid to dwell on it for longer than seconds, as he found himself spiraling too easily.

Time differences became a bigger deal than it used to be since that one call. (Jungkook cursed the consommé, maybe if they taught him how to make a beef wellington on fire or something he might’ve woken up.)

And then he would cycle into guilt, for overthinking and taking it out on Seokjin. The darkest corners of his mind thought of the worst. Jungkook resorted to messaging Seokjin impulsively, uncaring of the hour to be brought back down, and more often than not, he’d either be dismissive or leave the conversation prematurely.

Sorry, JK. I’ve got a class.

You’ll be ok, Koo. You have Yoongi, Tae, Jimin, everyone. 

I couldn’t come to the phone, I was finishing my presentation. 

You’ll be fine. 

It felt like he was witnessing the transcript of a broken record. 

Seokjin had been chatting with him one weekend, and he had paused their conversation to organize his scattered photocopied papers on his desk. 

There was radio silence for a moment, and it did nothing to lessen Jungkook’s nerves as he sat in front of the monitor. Was Seokjin ignoring him? Or did their internet flunk out again? These days, he could never tell. 

He sighed, wishing he could just reach through and tip his chin up to get those eyes to look at him again, rather than have them trained on the readings he’d been tackling through the entire call. 

“Jin-hyung?” He tested carefully, biting back his smile when said man peeked up, attention back on him instantly. 

“Hmm?”

A bent finger fixes the glasses on his nose, blinking expectantly at him. In reaction, Jungkook blurted out unabashedly, “I miss you.” Something they say often, but felt quite raw at that specific time.

The older male reeled back, slightly off-sync with the shy chuckle that came through Jungkook’s headphones. “That was random.” By then, the matching smile dropped. “You know I miss you too,”

Jungkook huffed, propping his cheek on his hand, getting close to the camera and not caring about the strain that his eyes felt. “I just wanted to hear you say it. It gets boring here,”

Seokjin shook his head fondly, glancing back down at his workbook. “Come on, all our friends are with you. Shouldn’t I be in your shoes?”

“It’s different,” Jungkook whined. He was really a goner, as he heard himself groan pitifully about his neediness. Only six more months to go. “What am I supposed to do while you’re gone?”

“You’re exaggerating, Koo.” Seokjin laughed, fixing a pointed look at him. “Think of all the times I wasn’t there because of other stuff. What do you usually do when I’m gone, hm?”

“I don’t know…” Jungkook murmured. “Wait for you to come back…?”

Seokjin made an amused noise, focusing entirely on him as he watched him with the most adoring expression on. Jungkook’s favourite. “You’re funny, you know that?”

He should have felt glad, amused at this. Instead, he felt quite the opposite, as if he was being swept aside. An afterthought.  Jungkook schooled his face to show a grin rather than a grimace. “I open myself up and you--!” 

The older male cleared his throat, all traces humor leaving his eyes with something more somber replacing it. He blinked rapidly, hand going up to dab at the corner of his eye. How badly Jungkook ached to do it for him. “It’s not easy for me too, Kook. And... I’m sorry if I’ve just been all over the place.”

He knew it. Jungkook knew he’d overstepped this time. Seokjin was a busy man alone in Los Angeles for fucks sake, they’re hours away from constantly missing each other--and Jungkook had been so selfish wallowing in the company he was lucky to have. 

Jungkook choked up. “Don’t apologize--”

“No, let me finish. Our midterm evaluations are up this week and. Well, I guess I let stress get the best of me.” Seokjin explained. “That’s all. Once this week finishes, I’ll be a bit free. Or, as free as I was before evals. Then we’ll be alright.”

The younger fidgeted, still uneasy. “I don’t want you to get distracted because of me...what makes you think there’s something wrong?”

Seokjin shrugged. “I sensed it, and how you are too. My change in communication...I couldn’t control it.  And it’s not fair to you.” He sat up, looking as if he was packing up for the night.

There was so much he wanted to say. Things are different. I don’t like it. Tell me I’m wrong.  

But, as soon as Seokjin flashed that content little smile of his, Jungkook could only feel calm.

Relief. Jungkook was so relieved to know Seokjin was so understanding and considerate of him, of them despite the massive distance. He swallowed the uneasiness that threatened to spew out-- a confrontation, an attack--and instead grinned back. 

“It’s okay, hyung. We can do this, together.”

Seokjin hadn’t texted him all day. 

Jungkook hated to be that person, but it was the first time it ever happened. It wasn’t until the following day when he was out to see Jimin and Taehyung, did his boyfriend show signs of life to him since he’d last called... twenty-five hours ago. 

“You look terrible,” Jimin commented, as Jungkook plopped down on the chair they’d saved him. 

Taehyung hissed and moved the bag used to hold Jungkook’s spot. “I got this bag two weeks ago, I don’t want your ass crushing it!”

“Hello to you too,” Jungkook murmured without even looking up from his phone, fingers tapping away. “Seokjin just woke up,” He added, explaining himself knowing Jimin’s Eyes of Judgement were burning holes into his back. 

“Well yeah.” Jimin agreed. “That explains why you look like a panda. Worse than Yoongi-hyung’s on a bad day.”

Jungkook, for the first time in the three minutes he set foot into the apartment, gaped at him. “Rude!” 

“Oooh, did I hit a nerve?” Jimin teased, contrasting to the comforting hand he placed the younger’s arm. He frowned at the lack of response from Jungkook, watching him exchange a sickening amount of emojis with the other. “You’re staying up late to talk to him, aren’t you?”

Jungkook took a moment to reply to his boyfriend with equal enthusiasm, before closing his phone and gazing at Jimin. “He hasn’t texted me since yesterday.”

Taehyung and Jimin share a look. 

“I remember this,” Jimin recalls, face etched with glee. 

Taehyung adjusts the very bag he’d defended that day. “Yeah, so do I. Jungkook and Jin-hyung win for being the most dramatic couple after us.”

“Stop, I’m not narrating my ordeal just for you two to drag me!” Jungkook cries. 

As the waitress walked away after depositing their ordered drinks on the table, Jimin could barely contain the volume in his voice. “Let me get this straight. You guys fought, and he went to a bar with his colleagues?”

“Yeah! He’s hungover as hell and missed our two-to-four phone call.” Jungkook complained. “I mean it’s fine I guess, he’s not obligated to tell me his every move. But it would’ve been nice, to know he wasn’t passed out in a ditch--”

Taehyung paused, croissant making his cheek jut out in mid-chew. “I...hope you mean two-to-four PM. ”

“What, no? AM, duh.”

“ AM, Kook. Every day?”

The younger fibbed, leaning on the other’s shoulder to hide his shameful expression. “Just...some days. He’s free in the evening so I try to call him then.”

Jimin nodded, scrutinizing him as if he’d grown an extra nose since the last time they’d met. “So...why did you guys fight exactly?”

Placing his phone down with a huff, Jungkook took a sip of his drink to accentuate his stress . “It’s stupid. Well, maybe I’m just stupid. Contrary to popular belief, Seokjin reaches out to me first a lot.” 

“You’re both needy babies,” Taehyung rolled his eyes.

“Tell that to yourself, having Jimin-hyung on speed dial when you guys are constantly attached to the hip,” Jungkook bit back. 

Ignoring Taehyung’s offended gasp, he continued.  “Anyways. It’s just--weird. I feel like I’m burdening him, feeling lonely when he’s the one all alone there. And I love it when he calls me and reaches out to me...but there have been multiple times where it’s ended because of misaimed time differences. You’d think we’d be pros by now, five months in, but...”

Jimin reached over, small hand clasping around his fingers, oozing sympathy. “No one’s expecting you guys to get used to this, Kook. And it’s only temporary too, so I really hope you two talked it out.”

“About that…”

Taehyung cringed, distracting himself with the remnants of his croissant. 

“I just feel like I can’t talk to him. I don’t get to complain, and when I do he kind of brushes me off.” The youngest admitted. “But then again...I can’t say I’m not the same. It hurts to even say I miss him. It’s true, but it makes us feel worse.”

“Oh, our sweet Jungkook. What’ll we do with you two? Hm?” Taehyung hummed softly, scooting over and winding an arm around the back of said man’s chair.

“I honestly think you guys just have to be honest and talk to each other. You guys are better than this, I know it. And you can move past it too!” Jimin advised. “Long distance is so hard. Especially if you’re a hugger like that one over there.” 

Taehyung sneered, sticking his tongue out before shifting his focus onto Jungkook. “But really, just think about it. Tell him how you’re feeling.”

Jungkook could only nod. Suddenly his appetite left his body, mind crippled with possibilities of confronting Seokjin.

His feelings almost came out, in an emotional flurry. Spring was dawning on Seoul, the sun setting after it had made an appearance for the first time in weeks. It had peeked out from the seemingly eternal cloud blanket that winter cast over the city. 

Jungkook sat inside, unsure why he was crying in the first place. Words were stuck in his throat. The entire day he’d been out, distracting himself--for some reason, he decided today was the day to have a talk with Seokjin.

Be honest, be truthful, you guys are better than this. Jimin and Taehyung’s advice were on loop in his head, ready to be recited as a script to Seokjin who sat readily--and a tad puzzled--on the other line. Nothing came out of him, save for broken breaths, and attempts to control himself. 

Now he wished he didn’t bring anything up. Jungkook didn’t know what was worse: having Seokjin brush him off again, or zeroing on him completely where he couldn’t escape. He had nowhere to retreat, to hide behind the act he’d been so good at putting up. 

“I just...it’s nothing,” Jungkook whispered. “Something just hit me, you know?” It made no sense, as he heard himself dig a bigger hole with each word.

“I--I don’t understand. You can’t be for no reason, Jungkookie. Was class difficult today? Or maybe--”

“It’s nothing, ” Jungkook snapped, before clasping a hand around his mouth. He was so, so confused and hated how he couldn’t just address his feelings like a grown adult. 

Seokjin’s face fell, eyes flickering about in discomfort. 

How hard would it be to just tell Seokjin he missed him, he didn’t want to be an afterthought, he was scared that things would keep changing, scared he wasn’t awake when he was--

“I’m really sorry, oh my god, I-I’m sorry I...” Jungkook blubbered pathetically. The heat surrounding him flooded his senses from embarrassment.  “I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

Regret and relief twined to seize his chest in a painful grip, as Seokjin fidgeted with his arms. His hands. He wanted to hold them. Squeeze them. 

“...I’m right here. Go to sleep, we’ll talk about it soon.” Seokjin answered quietly. 

Jungkook argued weakly, insisting he was alright, but fatigue and the overload of emotions lulled him to sleep. 

Seokjin’s forlorn gaze was the last thing he saw.

One thing Kim Seokjin wasn’t, was a liar. 

A second thing was that his confidence would not hesitate to corner Jungkook when he sensed something was amiss. Seokjin was never one to be bothered with details unless it affected the bigger picture. That picture being them .

“I think you need space.”

One thing Jeon Jungkook was , and always had been, was a long-jump all star when it came to making conclusions. The mental acrobatics he’d done to come to this decision was beyond him, but he believed at the time it was for the best.

He blamed it on being a Virgo in jest, but he’d been running his mind tired of the different possibilities that their relationship could ultimately backfire in the final months of Seokjin’s absence. The analysis paralysis demon as he chalked it down to, was getting louder with each day passing. He couldn’t wait, not when there was a rift between them. 

“ What? ” Seokjin gaped, face frozen in shock. He sat up in his bed, jostling the camera. 

Jungkook cowered for a moment, before bracing himself and his composure. “I think you. Um, we need space.” He sent a smile, appearing like a grimace in his little screen in the top corner. 

As Seokjin continued eyeing him warily, he would never know the way Jungkook’s hands were clammy and cold, or the way his heart was speeding up by the second. His arms shook the longer he held his phone. 

“That’s...funny,” Seokjin laughed slowly, the dissonance from his face to his voice to his words becoming painfully obvious to the both of them. “What’s going on, is Jimin there? Or Tae?”

“No one’s here,” Jungkook countered. “And I’m not joking. Not pranking you, or whatever.”

Seokjin took his glasses off, exhaling loudly as his eyes were shut, brows drawn together in distress. “Wow...alright, Kook. What makes you say that? I don’t get a say?”

“You’ve been loud and clear about it, hyung.” Jungkook bit his lip. 

“Please, if there’s something wrong, you have to tell me about it,” Seokjin pleaded. “You can’t just jump to the next move like this. I thought we moved past that years ago.”

Something ugly and bitter ignited within Jungkook. “I tried to be okay with being away from you, and all this, but I’m not , and--” He willed his voice not to break, sacrificing that for a couple of stray tears instead. Then, a couple turned into several. Angrily, he wiped them away. “I feel like an afterthought, and I hate this isn’t something I can control. I’m so used to being able to but you’re literally asleep while I’m awake. It’s hard , Jin-hyung.”

Seokjin stiffened, lips twisting in pensive thought. The silence stretched in the worst way possible, Jungkook sniffling behind his sleeve while Seokjin remained still. Rigid. “I hate how this affected you, but it’s affecting me too--”

“See, you’re doing it again, dismissing me--”

“What? Tell me, Jungkook. There’s been many times where I've just been exhausted. Moments where I just wished I stayed back home with you,” Seokjin interjected sternly. “With everyone .” 

And that was what he feared. The remorse.

“I don’t want you to regret this experience. That’s the last thing I would ever want from you.” Jungkook explained. “I knew it. Knew you would feel bad about me telling you but…” A laboured sigh. “I can’t just not be honest to you. T-this isn’t about who’s got it worse, hyung.” 

He took a shaky breath, bottom lip quivering from his self-restraint threatening to cave completely. “It’s nothing deeper than the fact that I miss you and I can’t do anything about it.”

“And you think I don’t? I miss you too, more than anything.” Seokjin’s eyes bored into him, even in his slightly pixelated, laggy form. “But we can do something about it, and I know part of it’s because I’ve neglected everything. I’ve been so busy and I need to do better at balancing it out--”

“No,” Jungkook interrupted. “I don’t want you to blame yourself. Like you said, I have everyone here--I just need to do some sorting out on my end. Alone.”

The older seemed defeated, nodding in what appeared to be understanding. He dabbed a tissue at his nose, before questioning meekly, “You know I’m always here...is this not something we can work out together?” His normally composed voice wavered erratically, signs that he was holding it in a lot harder than Jungkook was. A fact that made his heart break, in equal defeat. 

“No, Jin-hyung. I don’t think so.” Jungkook confessed. 

“We have three months left, Jungkook,” Disappointment.

Jungkook smiled sadly, tasting the saltiness of his tears. “Three months too long. I-I thought I could do it, not being held, not being able to kiss you.” He choked on a whimper. “Being away from you with just calls and texts but I can’t. I hope you understand, and I’m sorry,” His voice trailed off. 

An air of finality settled in the room, and Jungkook had begun to deal with the fact that he might have fucked everything up. 

“You shouldn’t be.” Seokjin said with a small tremor in his tone, stable shoulders crumbling before him. “All those times I made you feel like you couldn’t come to me...how many?”

A lot. “Just sometimes…”

A groan, full of regret and self-loathing. “Jungkook...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay,” Jungkook was exhausted, and had the aching urge to leave before he turned back on his word. This whole conversation felt like pulling teeth, and he just wanted to pretend it never happened. “You’re okay, Jin-hyung. We’ll just...have a break.”

Seokjin relented. “Alright, I’m going to support you and do my best too.” The pain was evident in the way he agreed, the way he wouldn’t look at him. “So we’ll break up. I’ll...I’ll give you the space you deserve.”

Suddenly, Jungkook’s heart plummeted hearing it confirmed from the other.

I was kidding. Look at me. 

“Yeah. We will. Thank you,”

Did you think I meant it?

“Mmhm.”

I didn’t. 

 “I don’t want to say goodbye...so goodnight, Jin-hyung…?”

Every goodbye makes the next hello closer, right? You told me that before. Say it now, please.

Seokjin chuckled sadly. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate--”

“I’ll be fine. Trust me.”

He finally, finally looked up at Jungkook again. 

They were both equally a mess, cheeks ruddy with tears and if it wasn’t so depressing Jungkook could’ve burst out laughing right then.

Seokjin resigned. “Ah, right. Well...goodbye, and goodnight.”

I love--

“Goodnight, I--”

[‘𝙹𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚢𝚞𝚗𝚐 ♡’  𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙵𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕.]