Chapter Text
When Kakashi woke, he wasn’t in his own bedroom.
He didn’t realise this straight away, instead puzzling at the lack of alarm. Every day, without fail, his alarm woke him at 06:00, yet today, for some reason, all was quiet. He had already missed the sunrise if the cold grey light filtering in from between the curtains was anything to go by – meaning that the entire day was ruined.
He needed to see the newness of it to properly begin, to know that the sky wasn’t yet sick of its endless costume changes, and the extra hour of the morning to clean, to cook, to study, to feng shui his mind.
Kakashi huffed into his pillow. Then paused. And huffed again, sniffing.
Was that – mint? The only mint shampoo he owned was for his dogs and he was sure he hadn’t accidentally washed his hair with that last night – but, hey, he was also sure he’d set his alarm and that hadn’t worked out either. Considering Pakkun hadn’t snuck into bed with him, it was the only option.
Or so he thought.
He was forced to immediately re-evaluate when he pushed himself onto his side and came face-to-face with a J-rock idol. Not the real deal, thankfully, but a poster that definitely shouldn’t have been right next to his bed.
His room didn’t have posters.
Kakashi balked and sat up so suddenly that the covers dropped off him. Now, he realised, this wasn’t his room. The formation was all wrong, from the colour scheme, all peach tones and purples, to the layout of the furniture. Where was his sink? His bookshelf?
The bed he was in was no futon either. Too elevated, taking up too much space. A flowery duvet. Matching pyjamas. Something soft tickled his bare shoulders and he flinched before he understood it was hair. Shoulder-length hair. He reached up and touched it gingerly, threading his fingers through sleek strands and holding them up in front of his eyes to see – brown hair.
Oh, no.
His grip on them tightened and he fell back against the mattress that wasn’t his own with a dejected thump, eyes tracing the assortment of band posters littering the walls – Hound Dog, Asian Kung-Fu Generation, Sambomaster, Stance Punks – it was embarrassing that he knew any of them, really.
This – his girlish, teenage surroundings, the absence of Pakkun and his alarm, the mint-scented hair – could only mean one thing. He had Switched.
カカリン
Soulmates Switched bodies around midnight after they both turned sixteen. It was a fairly common occurrence and yet Kakashi hadn’t been expecting it. He’d celebrated his own birthday three months ago, alone, in his apartment, with his dogs and, even though he might have naively entertained the idea of waking up somewhere else and written a crude note that he’d later destroyed detailing his location and how to get to school on time, nothing had happened.
It figured that his soulmate would be younger than him and he’d have to wait. The Switch couldn’t have happened at a more convenient time, really – halfway through the winter holidays, two days after Christmas – but he still wasn’t happy about it.
Yes, the girl was cute, as he’d discovered upon looking in a mirror. A few inches shorter than he was, with dusky brown eyes and a smile that might’ve warmed the world if he wasn’t the one behind it. It made his – her – jaw clench. He feared what he would do to that smile, whether being bound to him would risk her losing it altogether.
The notion of this bond they now shared was both terrifying and infuriating. He was careful not to dig the nails of her fingers too hard into her palms – he didn’t want to leave a mark – but he couldn’t quite dispel the scowl on her face so easily. His own expression was usually so apathetic, but he found hers gave away too much what he was feeling inside. No guard whatsoever.
With her eyebrows pulled together like that and her mouth tugged into a frown, she looked very unlike herself. Which was stupid, because Kakashi didn’t even know this girl. This girl who was supposed to be his soulmate.
Why did nature determine that a person was only valuable when coupled with another? What about the intrinsic value of the individual? He didn’t want to measure his life in love, no matter what the songs or his father said. The death of his father’s soulmate was what had killed him, and Kakashi still couldn’t forgive the fact that he’d forsaken his son in favour of a dead bond.
He sighed, willing the girl’s features to relax. There was no point lingering on it, he supposed, pondering over how he would break her heart. He didn’t have the capacity to devote himself to anyone. It would only hurt them both in the end.
This first thing to do was find a phone and call his landline. They could arrange a place to meet so they could Switch back and get on with their lives. He turned away from the mirror, trying hard not to imagine what she’d look like when she cried.
カカリン
Her mobile was on her bedside table, but when he flipped it open, he found it was locked. Behind the empty box where he was supposed to input a passcode was a photo of the girl herself and a boy with dark, unruly hair. The sight of it surprised him.
Her…boyfriend?
“Hm,” Kakashi mused aloud, though it came out much softer and more high-pitched than it would’ve if he were himself. He’d heard of people dating before they’d Switched, but it was definitely the exception to the rule, and usually, it was the older of the two who experimented with other people. They were, after all, the ones who had liberty to do so and might do if they were waiting an extraordinary amount of time to meet their soulmate. Or if they were extremely impatient.
But this girl’s sixteenth birthday must have been today and, knowing this, she hadn’t wanted to wait? Or, she hadn’t expected a Switch today? Maybe she was just as disillusioned with the system as Kakashi and hadn’t wanted to comply with societal norms. She did like rock music after all.
Either that, or Kakashi was overthinking this and the boy in her background picture was just a friend. He had hoped that some sort of muscle memory would trigger her fingers to unlock her phone so he could find out, but he had no such luck, so he tossed it back onto the table.
Then he saw it: the notebook. Opened to a page entitled ‘DEAR SOULMATE.’
Ah, so she had been expecting him. He wasn’t above reading a girl’s diary, but it still felt a little wrong even though it was blatantly addressed to him. Her handwriting was very neat.
Hello! My name is Rin Nohara and I turn sixteen today. If you are reading this, then that means we’ve Switched and you’re my soulmate! I live in Chiba Prefecture – I hope you are somewhere nearby.
He was nearby actually, in Tokyo. It would only take an hour by train to reach home.
It would be great if we could Switch back by the end of the day but, if not, don’t worry! My parents should be back from work later. They are doctors.
Kakashi frowned. Her parents had missed her sixteenth birthday? They must be busy people. He supposed it wasn’t much different to his home situation, but at least he had the dogs.
My best friend, Obito, will be coming over at 09:00. He’s a little disorganised and he hasn’t Switched yet, but he’s very sweet and he will take good care of you.
There was an alarm clock on the bedside table that read 09:32. Either this Obito had already been and left, or he was incredibly late. Kakashi tried not to let that bother him. He hated tardiness.
I really hope you are in Japan somewhere. It would make meeting up with you much easier, but I don’t mind travelling. In fact, that might make it more fun!
To his confusion, the characters on the page abruptly changed from hiragana to Latin letters, starting with an English greeting that echoed what Rin had already written above in Japanese. He noticed then that she had transcribed her entire message into English and, upon skimming further down, Chinese also.
It was startling how serious she was about it all, to go to such lengths. Kakashi hadn’t even thought of that when he’d written his note all those months ago, just assuming that his soulmate would understand the gist of what was going on regardless of where they were from.
He was suddenly very thankful for his location. Being stuck on the other side of the world would have been an absolute nightmare.
Rin had been very thorough, drawing a small, simplistic map of the street she lived on with two dots depicting her own house and Obito’s – ah, so they were neighbours. She’d also included co-ordinates and even a reference for Google maps. Not that Kakashi could use it since he still didn’t know her passcode.
It didn’t matter. She must’ve had a landline he could use.
As he went to leave her bedroom, he stopped by a bundle of clothes draped far too purposefully over a chair. On top of them was a note: ‘WEAR THESE.’
Kakashi’s cheeks burned. How was he supposed to get undressed without it being wildly inappropriate? He was bound to see something he wasn’t supposed to. Rin hadn’t thought of that, had she? Even though she’d already laid out the outfit she supposed she would wear for their first meeting.
Too innocent.
It was bad enough that Kakashi had seen her in her pyjamas. He rubbed the material between his thumb and forefinger absently – girls’ clothes were very soft. If only her mum were here to dress her for him. He could just close his eyes and let her do all the hard work, moving as and when needed. Women did that sort of stuff for each other, right?
But even the thought of that was slightly disturbing. Kakashi didn’t have a mum. He didn’t know what they were supposed to do.
How could Rin’s parents miss her sixteenth birthday? Doctors or not, they had to understand the significance of today. He realised too late his hand clenching tight around the hem of her tank top, creasing it with sweat, and that there was an incessant knocking at the door downstairs.
It couldn’t be – had she found her way to him already?
カカリン
Kakashi opened the door not to himself but to a round-faced boy with a bouquet of windswept flowers. He was breathing heavily, as though he’d been running.
“Happy birthday, Rin!” he said with a smile that stretched to the very edges of his cheeks. He was tall, taller than Kakashi, and tanned, his skin pockmarked with acne scars and sun blisters. A farmer’s son, maybe? The street behind him, though not rural and barely visible past his broad shoulders, seemed to suggest they were in an industrial district not far from the coast.
The boy cleared his throat and Kakashi knew he’d been staring for too long. At once he noted the unruly black hair he’d seen in a picture before. Her…friend?
“Obito?”
The question came out in a tone far too accusatory for the voice it was wrapped in, and the boy’s smile faltered. “Yeah?”
“You’re late.”
He didn’t mean to prioritise timing over his identity, but it was difficult to blurt out that he wasn’t who Obito thought he was when he was stood there with a bouquet. His eyes were drawn to it – those sad red roses nestled in their paper wrappings – and the sight stirred something within him.
“Well,” Obito stuttered. “You know how it is. I had to go to the pharmacy and then I ran into Mr. Yamanaka and he needed help weeding his garden – but he gave me these!”
He thrust the roses in front of him, rather too abruptly – to the point that a few petals detached from their stems and fell to litter the doorway. Kakashi had only opened the door halfway, blocking the opening with his leg in a manner that was customary for anybody who owned a pack of dogs. Rin’s family, he’d discovered, didn’t have any pets so it looked less like he was barring anything from scampering out and more like he was barring anyone from barging in.
“Gave?”
Kakashi eyed the bouquet sceptically. He could tell just by looking at them that the flowers were store-bought, even if Obito didn’t want to admit it. He bought them for Rin. The arm he reached out with to take them was thin and feminine, entirely not his own – realised almost too late that a gift like this ought to be accepted properly and moved from his spot behind the door to take them with both hands.
Obito yelped and dropped the bouquet before Kakashi could take it.
“Rin!” he cried, slapping his hand over his eyes. “You’re not dressed!”
Oh. So much for preserving her dignity. Not that her pyjamas were that bad – Kakashi found himself frowning, wondering what was so egregious about a girl in a tank top and shorts. He could only put it down to them being country bumpkins and the current winter climate.
“Relax,” he chided, bending down to gather the scattered flowers. “It’s not a crime for a woman to dress like this. And it’s not like you’re a child, you know.”
He dreaded to think what this guy would think of the girls in Harajuku. Kakashi had been the same, once, before he’d moved to the city and stopped giving a damn about appearances.
“What?” Obito choked. His voice was muffled by his hands, still clasped firmly across his face, the faint remnants of a blush seeping through his fingers. “You’re acting so weird right now! What’s wrong with you?”
Rin had described Obito as her ‘best friend,’ but the flowers Kakashi now held and that blush told a different story. The navigation of this situation might be a little bit trickier than he had initially thought, even trickier than the logistics of getting dressed without exposing himself – herself? – whatever. That now seemed so trivial.
“You should probably come in,” Kakashi said. “I’m going to need your help.”
Obito spread his fingers out enough that a dark eye could peek through. “Help? With what? Did you hit your head or something?”
“No. It’s just – ah, how do I explain this?” Kakashi sighed heavily and, clutching the bouquet close to his – Rin’s – chest, offered a hasty, half-assed bow. “Thank you for the flowers, but I’m not Rin Nohara. My name is Kakashi Hatake and I believe I am your friend’s soulmate.”
カカリン
Obito definitely hated him.
After angrily berating Kakashi for not revealing himself sooner and fumbling over the fact that he’d given flowers to another guy, he’d been sulking in silence at the dining room table. Rin’s house was small – much like his own apartment – with the kitchen, dining room and lounge condensed into one room. There was nowhere to escape.
What’s worse was that Kakashi didn’t know where anything was supposed to be. He’d spent the past five minutes searching for somewhere to put the flowers, half in-vain, in an attempt to stall further conversation and allow the situation to sink in. For Obito’s sake.
He was hungry too, but he didn’t like the thought of cooking here or going through Rin’s food. It wouldn’t have been polite.
“Rin’s mum keeps the crockery in the second cupboard from the left,” Obito said sullenly. “If you’re looking for a vase, that is.”
His tone was irritating. But, more irritating, was how easily he fit into the furniture, like the missing part of a jigsaw in which Kakashi didn’t belong. He could tell just from looking at how Obito had breezed through the front door, kicked off his shoes and started making tea that this was practically his second home. The floorboards were engraved with his presence, the chairs and futons made for him.
Meanwhile, all Kakashi could do was tip-toe around for fear of upsetting the dust, as much an alien to this house as he was to Rin’s body.
“Flowers are a thoughtless present,” he muttered, mindlessly running his fingers along each rose stem.
“Excuse me?”
“They wilt and die so quickly.” Careless, he accidentally pricked Rin’s fingertip on the point of a thorn. “By the time she gets here, Rin might not even be able to appreciate their beauty.”
The sharp sound of chair legs scraping against a wooden floor scrubbed through the room as Obito leapt to his feet. “Shut up! Just who do you think you are anyway?”
“I already introduced myself,” Kakashi responded coolly. “Unless you forgot.”
A snort. “As if, Hatake.”
“Didn’t Rin tell you this was going to happen? She said in her note that you are her best friend. Surely you would have known that this was a possibility.”
He couldn’t quite bring himself to look Obito in the eye just yet, so he opted to stare out of the window towards the rear garden instead, feeling the heat of a glare on his back.
“Um, well – yeah, of course she mentioned it,” Obito mumbled thickly, as though something was trapped in his throat. “And she told me to be mindful of it today since I was coming over. But I didn’t think…it would actually happen.”
At that, Kakashi wheeled around. “Why not?” Then, he paused, eyes widening. “Are you…crying?”
Obito hadn’t yet sat down, choosing instead to perch on the edge of the table with his arms crossed loosely over his chest. Though they were slung there limp and dejected, the tendons of his forearms were taut. It was a striking profile, or at least it would have been if not for the wetness under his eyes.
“No!” he spluttered, swiping at his cheeks angrily. “I have – it’s a medical condition.”
Bullshit. Nonetheless, there was vial of eyedrops on the table. He opted not to press the issue. It was probably the first time he’d been tactful in his life – but really there were more urgent matters. Like getting back into his own body. “Do you know the passcode to Rin’s phone?”
“Huh? What do you need that for?”
“To access her phone?” He did really try to keep the incredulity out of his voice, but it was difficult when faced with such a stupid question with such an obvious answer.
Obito, meanwhile, looked scandalised. “What’s the matter with you? Why would you need to go through a girl’s phone? Are you some sort of pervert?”
Kakashi almost slapped himself in the face. God, give him strength. “No! I just need to call myself – or Rin – herself? – whatever! – so we can meet up. Any phone will do.”
“Why didn’t you say that in the first place?” Obito grumbled. “The landline’s over here –”
He was interrupted mid-step by a very forceful 'wakatten’da yo' and an ensuing guitar chord – the volume of which made Kakashi flinch. It was emanating from Obito’s trouser pocket. He, at least, had the presence of mind to be embarassed, fumbling with the offending item – his own mobile – whose ringtone was now singing about something to do with a rainbow.
“It’s so loud,” Kakashi complained, wondering whether it was actually that bad or whether the awkward atmosphere made it so. “Why do you have your ringtone as a trashy boyband single?”
Obito didn’t respond. He was glaring uncertainly down at his screen, which was cracked, at some unknown +81 number. Kakashi might’ve chanced a better look if it didn’t mean getting closer to him, when he already seemed uncomfortable at his state of ‘undress.’
“Aren’t you going to answer?” he offered. Obito shot him a narrowed look, then swiped over the green button.
“Hello?” A long paused. His face fell. “Rin?”
Kakashi couldn’t hear what was being said on the other end of the line very well, aside from the low buzz of someone speaking, but the mention of her name was enough to pique his attention. Obito just kind of stood there dumbly, listening to the hum prattle on for a few seconds.
“Is it Rin?” Kakashi asked. He didn’t receive a verbal reply, only a brief nod and a wrinkled nose. “Can I speak to her?”
Obito then ignored him, turning his body so that Kakashi was faced with his shoulder. “Yeah,” he affirmed to whatever Rin had just said over the phone, a hard look in his eye. “Oh? Well, he’s here. I guess so, yeah.”
“Oi! What’s she saying? At least put her on speaker.”
“No, he’s not,” Obito continued. “He’s really rude actually.”
A twist of rage within him, and Kakashi moved without thinking. Normally, for all his skill in martial arts, he would be able to throw another person to the ground like it was nothing – so long as they weren’t as skilled as he was – but Rin’s body was smaller and weaker than his, and all he managed in the end was to dislodge Obito’s phone from his grip with a poorly timed, poorly executed grab that, in his overcompensation for Rin’s height, struck much too high.
It dropped to the floor with a thud.
“Ow!” Obito exclaimed because Kakashi had basically just slapped him in the face. Like most normal people who had been assaulted, he then floundered and Kakashi, completely unused to this girl’s body narrowly missed an elbow to the cheek. It struck his – Rin’s – eye instead, and Obito gasped. “Rin! I’m so sorry. Are you alright?”
It was a momentary blunder. Kakashi took full advantage of it.
One basic foot sweep later, and they were both on the ground, Kakashi in Rin’s body looming over Obito in a horrifyingly compromising position. It was a miracle neither of them had hit the table. He could hardly see out of his eye.
“I’m not Rin,” Kakashi reminded him from where he was sat half-straddling his stomach. His – Rin’s – eye burned, and he knew from experience it would bruise later. The image made him bristle. “Thanks for giving her a black eye though. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”
“What?” Obito was fast turning red and Kakashi really, really didn’t care to know what was going on in his head right now, so he ignored the sight of the boy gaping beneath him in favour of grabbing his mobile. The call was still active. “But you – you – Hatake! That was your fault!”
“Hello?” Kakashi mumbled into the receiver. “Is this Rin Nohara? It’s me, Kakashi Hatake.”
He was greeted by his own voice, usually so deadpan, practically squealing with delight. “Oh, hello! I’m so excited to speak to you! It’s a little bit odd hearing our own voices though, isn’t it? I’m calling on your landline. What happened just now? I was speaking to Obito, but the line suddenly cut out.”
“He dropped the phone,” Kakashi explained and it wasn’t entirely a lie. “He’s very clumsy.”
Obito started wriggling beneath him, but he locked his – Rin’s – knees tighter, squeezing his – her – thighs around his midriff to keep him still.
“Oh, I know!” Rin exclaimed between giggles, and he winced at the tone of his own voice. “He was probably late too, knowing him. I hope he hasn’t given you too much trouble. I’m sorry, what did you say your name was? I couldn’t catch it the first time. I was trying to find your wallet or some form of ID, but I couldn’t concentrate with all the dogs!”
Ah, the dogs. “Are they alright? Have they been fed?”
“I’ve given them some treats?”
He almost sighed. “You’ll need to change their water and their food. I would ask you to do more, like redressing Uhei’s paw and cleaning out Bull’s folds or maybe even taking them for a walk, but it’s probably best if you wait until we Switch.”
“Oh, um, okay!”
“Their food is in the cupboard next to the fridge, below the sink. I’d prefer if it you didn’t poke around too much, but my wallet should on the counter. Please don’t read any of my books.”
He could sense that she was moving around in his home, trying to locate things amidst the impatient whines of his pets. They were probably wondering why it was taking him so long to feed them, even if they did appreciate the treats. Meanwhile, Obito was pushing himself up.
“Get – off me!” he hissed, flexing his body enough that Kakashi slid backwards onto the floor. He tumbled with enough velocity to roll back onto his – Rin’s – ass and then further onto his – her – back. He yelped at the impact.
“What was that?” Rin asked, oblivious. “Are you alright?”
“Yes,” Kakashi lied easily, aiming a kick towards Obito, who was now furiously grabbing for his mobile, trying (and failing) to ignore the fact that Rin’s top had ridden up to expose her stomach. “I’m not used to moving around in your body.”
“It is difficult,” Rin agreed. “But your house is very neat so there’s nothing to trip over.”
“Apartment,” he corrected. “It’s a studio apartment in Tokyo.”
The mess of limbs that constituted Obito and Kakashi-as-Rin wrestling for possession of the phone subdued slightly as Obito backed off, clearly intrigued by that small bite of information.
“Tokyo?” he mouthed from where he was gripping Rin’s ankle to stop Kakashi from kicking him silly.
“Tokyo?” Rin echoed over the line. “That explains the noise outside. I’ve never been to Tokyo before.”
“Right,” Kakashi sighed. “I’m going to call a family friend to come and pick you up.”
“You don’t have to –”
“Help yourself to any of the food,” he continued. “But wash up after yourself if you do. He’ll be there soon. It would probably be best if we met somewhere near the train station in Chiyoda. Would that work for you?”
“Yes! That’s perfect!” She sounded elated, even though it required a slightly longer journey home on her part.
“Okay. Great. In that case, I’ll see you later.”
"Wait!”
He paused. “What is it?”
“Um, don’t you want to talk for a bit? Get to know each other before we meet? This is all happening so fast.”
Maybe, that would’ve been the more appropriate thing to do – to exchange pleasantries and discussions of their upbringings and how they took their tea and the fact that they were fated to meet even though their meeting were taking place through a shitty phone receiver and it was hardly romantic at all.
“Not really,” Kakashi replied honestly, but the words tasted as bitter as they sounded coming from the mouth of another. “Sorry, I have a lot to do.”
“O – okay.”
The last thing he said before he hung up was: “And, by the way, my name is Kakashi Hatake.”
カカリン
The family friend was, of course, Minato. His father’s god-son and, by that logic, his older brother and the only reason he wasn’t currently living in an institution with a hundred or so other orphans. After Obito had found his feet, he’d promptly stormed out into the garden, leaving his phone with Kakashi – which he took as an invitation for him to use it again, if only quickly.
Minato picked up after the fourth ring. “Hello?”
“Minato-nii,” Kakashi greeted, remembering too late that he sounded like a girl. He wiped his fingers tenderly across the swollen skin beneath his eye and sighed.
“Who is this?”
“Sorry, it’s me. Kakashi. I’ve Switched.”
It took a while for the information to register. He could tell, because Minato was completely quiet – enough that he could hear everything that was happening in the background. Plates crashing, a woman shrieking, a toddler howling. Domestic bliss.
Then, Minato cheered. “What!? Really? Are you sure?”
“Yes?”
“Oh, this is fantastic!” His next words came as though they were spoken from a distance, and Kakashi knew he were leaning away from the receiver. “Kushina! Great news! Come over here!”
He heard Minato’s soulmate and wife’s response from where she was no doubt wrestling with their son, Naruto. “Who is it?”
“It’s Kakashi-chan! He’s Switched!”
Some slight hesitation and another cheer accompanied by a screaming baby. Great. If he had wanted this much pomp and circumstance, he would have called Guy instead.
“Kakashi-chan!” Kushina breathed into the line, her mouth so close to the receiver that it crackled. Kakashi winced. “Is it true? Who is it? What’re they like? Oh, we’re so happy for you! Congratulations!”
“Ah – hello, Kushina-nee.”
She suddenly squealed and he was so glad he couldn’t see their faces right now. “It’s a girl. I’ve always wanted a little sister! Hey, hey, is she cute?”
“I don’t – urgh,” Kakashi groaned. “I’m not – sure?”
“Who am I kidding?” Kushina drawled. “Of course she’s cute! If she’s your soulmate, Kakashi-chan, then she must be as adorable as you!”
Okay, that’s embarrassing. He was now secretly very glad that he didn’t have them on speaker, even if Obito wasn’t currently in the room. There was no telling what he’d overhear.
“Come on, Kushina,” Minato chided. “Leave him alone.” He heard some muffled movement as the other receiver changed hands. “What’s going on then, Kakashi-chan? Do you need me to pick you up?”
“If that’s not too much trouble.”
He was always thankful for Minato’s pragmatism, and even his ability to read his mind when they weren’t even in the same room. It didn’t take long to flesh out the plan, in between Kushina begging him to bring Rin to dinner sometime after he’d divulged her name. Minato would take the underground to his apartment, take Rin-as-Kakashi to the central station, they’d Switch and that would be that.
Now it was just up to Kakashi to map out the most efficient route across Tokyo Bay. He’d need to catch a train, or maybe even the ferry. For that he’d need money – Rin’s money, probably. He frowned. Maybe he could ask Obito –
The back door edged open and Obito stepped in. His eyes looked suspiciously wet.
“Yo,” Kakashi saluted. “Are you done?”
Obito shot him a dubious look. “Done with what?”
“Sulking.”
“I wasn’t sulking!”
“Sure.”
He most definitely had been sulking. Or crying. Or both. Either one of the three. It was hysterical, but he knew better than to laugh outwardly. It would have been too savage.
“What did Rin say?” Obito asked and Kakashi noted that he wasn’t looking directly at him. That angry, huh.
“I’m meeting her in Tokyo, so I need you to lend me some money.”
“What?”
“I can pay you back. I’ll just give Rin some money to get back to you once I’m in my own body.”
But Obito didn’t seem nearly as bothered about the money as whatever else he was conjuring up in his head. “No way,” he countered. “No, no, no. You’re not going to Tokyo!”
“But…I live there?”
“Why can’t Rin – or you – come here?”
Kakashi huffed, now impatient. “Because we’ve already planned it. Besides, you live in the middle of nowhere – how long would I have to wait to catch a train to go home? I need to get back to my dogs.”
A bit of a lame excuse, but not entirely unfounded. Obito had crossed his arms again, his jaw set. Kakashi had to wonder how a girl like Rin – not that he knew Rin – had ever gotten lumped with him. “Fine,” he muttered eventually, and it sounded too much like he was giving consent for something he didn’t have power over anyway. “But I’m coming with you and I’ll need to let my grandma know.”
“Why?”
“Because!” Obito growled. “How do I know Rin will even come back if I let you go? You might kidnap her and trap her in your creepy little studio apartment or something.”
“It’s not creepy,” Kakashi hissed.
“Oh, yeah? Why do you even live in a studio apartment? How old are you?”
His licked his lips, keeping his tone deadpan. “Fifty.”
Obito gagged. “What!?”
“I’m kidding. I turned sixteen in September.”
“You’d better be kidding!”
“What’s your problem?” Kakashi challenged. “It’s not like I want to be here! I wasn’t prepared for this.”
“Neither was I!”
“You knew it was a possibility.”
“It’s different!” Obito snapped. “I just wanted to spend some time with Rin on her birthday but instead you’re here and now I’ve elbowed her in the face and given her a black eye! Have you looked at yourself?”
He hadn’t, but it probably wasn’t a great sight. He had no doubt this would make for an interesting story. He just hoped it wouldn’t hurt Rin as much as it currently hurt him. “Look, it’s fine. You didn’t elbow Rin in the face, you elbowed me. If anything, it’s my fault – even though you should have given me the phone in the first place.”
“Whatever.”
“Could you just get me something to stop the swelling?”
For the first time since they’d met half an hour ago, Obito actually did something he requested and fetched him an unopened pack of peas from the freezer. He was in the midst of handing them over when he did something completely unexpected. Before Kakashi could react, Obito’s free hand had moved up to the side of his face, the side where the skin of Rin’s eyelid was purpling.
His fingers traced under her jaw and he could feel that he chewed his nails, before embedding themselves in the hair behind Rin’s ear, thumb lightly massaging the tender, pink skin beneath her eye. It was a woefully intimate gesture, one that Kakashi had never given or received, and he leaned unconsciously into Obito’s palm. The skin Obito caressed wasn’t his own but he was the one who felt it and saw, through wide, dusky brown eyes the confliction on his face.
“Rin is my best friend,” Obito said. “If you do anything to hurt her ever again, mark my words: I will kill you.”
カカリン
The dysphoria was starting to set in. It started with going to the toilet, an exercise he never wanted to repeat as a girl every again and led to Kakashi standing over Rin’s chosen outfit while holding a bag of frozen peas to his eye with a feeling of absolute helplessness. It’s not like he could go outside and catch a train in what she was currently wearing – it was far too cold – but the thought of undressing and redressing her body was a bit too much.
The whole soulmate system, though not really a system, enveloped that idea of empathy; that you couldn’t really know a person until you’d lived a day in their life. Only, it didn’t quite work like that. Because Kakashi wasn’t a girl and Kakashi wasn’t Rin and he didn’t want to wear clothes that were for girls or for Rin.
One look in her bedside mirror shattered his exquisitely constructed sense of self. Namely because, today, at least, he was Rin and Rin was a girl. She had laid out clothes that she wanted him to wear for their first meeting and, even though he wanted nothing more than to run into her parents’ room and steal an oversized shirt of her father’s, it was his duty to make sure she was as comfortable as he was uncomfortable wearing her very own clothes.
Nonetheless, he couldn’t do it alone.
“Help me get dressed.”
“What!?”
With all the murderous intent gone, Obito was back to his usual, stupid self, sitting on the stairs and waiting for Kakashi to change.
“What’s the problem?” Kakashi drawled, knowing full well what the problem was. “You and Rin are best friends. I’m sure you’ve seen it all before.”
“I haven’t!” Obito protested loudly, his cheeks a particularly violent shade of pink. “And I – I couldn’t…”
“Do you think she’d rather it was me or you that saw her naked?”
Kakashi was so happy he’d never had a crush. It reassured him that he’d never looked as dumb as Obito did right now, performing mental acrobatics in his head. “I don’t know…you – you’re her soulmate!”
“I suppose you’re right. Well, cover your eyes.” It was a bluff, obviously, and it worked wonders.
“Wait!” Obito yelped. “No! I – I can’t let you! You’re a creep and you don’t know her so…I’m going to blindfold you.”
“I’m already half-blind at this point,” Kakashi grumbled, gesturing to the make-shift icepack that was rendering half of his face numb. “Also, that won’t work unless you dress me.”
“Then I’ll blindfold myself too.”
At once he envisioned the monstrosity that would follow – entangled limbs and groping in places that hadn’t existed for Kakashi before today and the inevitable psychological scarring that would follow. He gulped.
“No, you won’t. We need two eyes for this.”
Obito mulled this over for moment. Meanwhile, Kakashi wondered if Rin owned a trench coat big enough to cover her entire body and her extremities.
“I’ve got it!” the other boy exclaimed. “I’ll only cover one of my eyes. Then we’ll each only see half as much.”
Wow, big brain time. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Ever.”
“Do you have a better idea?”
“No.”
“Well, then, just shut up and don’t peek.”
カカリン
One traumatic experience and a quick stop at Obito’s grandma’s later and they were on the train.
It was noon and the industrial suburbs of slid by through the window between chunks of ocean and Tokyo’s skyline on the other side of the bay. Obito had stopped glaring at him and the peas had melted into a cold mush that leaked condensation down the sleeve of Rin’s jacket – and, honestly, Kakashi had never felt more uncomfortable in his entire life.
His outfit consisted off a black V-neck, the ones that girls wore to expose their collarbones and nothing else, a high-waisted skirt, stockings, and a winter coat that was twice as fashionable as it was functional. It looked good on Rin in the same way that most clothes looked good on good-looking girls, but it felt horrible on Kakashi.
The stockings were the worst.
There was no traction to keep them in place, so they kept slipping down. Each time Kakashi leaned over to pull them up, he would feel the smooth skin of Rin’s thigh and endure the double-shockwave of both touching a girl’s leg and being touched on the leg at the same time.
Coupled with the fact that nothing was where it was supposed to be in relation to everything else and it made for a nauseating experience.
“Obito,” Kakashi ventured to the boy sitting opposite him, leaning his chin on his palm as he watched the waves go by. “Did you bring any water?”
He was met with a head shake and a pointed comment: “You really ought to speak more politely to me, Hatake. We don’t know each other.”
True, Kakashi had been using informal diction since they’d met. But that didn’t bother him. He shrugged. “You’re right. I don’t even know your name. You never introduced yourself to me.”
A rightful accusation, one that clearly put Obito’s boxers in a twist. “Call me Uchiha,” he snarled.
“Okay, uchiwa-san,” Kakashi chuckled, fanning the fingers of his palm out in front of him with a smirk. Rin’s hands were very small. “I’m older than you so, if anything, you should be the one speaking politely to me.”
“How would you know?”
“Rin told me you hadn’t Switched yet.”
That fact alone didn’t necessarily confirm his point, but Obito didn’t argue so he must have been correct. He was scowling. “Don’t call her that. She’s just Nohara to you.”
“I don’t think so. We’re soulmates, after all.”
He thought back to the handful of people he knew of who’d Switched. Asuma and Kurenai, classmates of his, blessed to have known each other long before they discovered they were soulmates. They’d always been friendly to each other – but from familiarity, not the bond they shared.
Minato and Kushina. The epitome of a perfect bond. They’d been inseparable for as long as Kakashi could remember, even though he must’ve known Minato before Kushina. He would have been six when they met. He wondered if they’d been as miserable as he was in that time before, tracing the lines of Rin’s palm with her fingertips.
But he couldn’t imagine either of them so different to as they were now, so bright and light and happy. If happiness like that existed, damn it, why couldn’t he reach it?
He thought of his mother and father. And decided: “I’m not going to date Rin.”
“What?” Obito choked.
“I’m not interested in dating at the moment,” Kakashi explained. He wasn’t lying even though it felt wrong to admit it.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not really interested in dating in the future either.”
Obito looked to go through all five stages of grief at once. Denial, in how he fiddled with his ear lobes as though he’d heard wrong. Anger, in the flash of indignation in his eyes like the idea that someone wouldn’t want to date Rin was a gross insult: “But you’re Rin’s soulmate! Why wouldn’t you want to be her boyfriend?”
“It’s nothing against Rin. It’s not her, it’s me. Besides, I thought you’d be happy.”
He was bargaining with it now, the notion of Rin’s singularity bouncing around the inside of his skull like a promise. “Why would I be happy about that?”
“Oh, please,” Kakashi scoffed. “It’s obvious that you like her.”
Depression, in the exposure of his secret. “No! I don’t – it’s not like that!”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” In the reflection of the train window, he could just make out Rin’s face staring back at him as he himself observed the encroaching skyline of Tokyo. Her expression screamed disapproval. She revealed too much of his inner turmoil. “Just, take care of her for me, okay?”
Finally, acceptance: “Thank you.”
“I’m not doing this for you,” Kakashi snapped. “Like you said, I don’t even know you. I’m doing it for Rin.”
カカリン
Living in the heart of Tokyo was quite like living in the mountains – in the midst of so many people, you hardly saw anyone. It was a place you could quite happily exist alone and self-contained. Kakashi found it lonelier than woodland house he’d shared with his father.
A trillion souls in their bedrooms, high in the cliffs of windows. He thought of what was beneath it all – the electricity cables, steam, water, fire, subway trains and lava in the city’s guts, the subterranean rumbling of train and earthquakes.
They were standing in front of the train station and Kakashi was markedly not smiling at the way Obito admired the high-rise buildings encasing them with equal parts wonderment and awe. The central square bustled with bodies. It was just the two of them and about a thousand other people around them.
Kakashi-as-Rin standing with legs locked together and pulling the hem of his skirt lower, and Obito marvelling the vertical world was how Minato found them.
He was impossible to miss, a blonde in a sea of brunettes, beside him, Rin-as-Kakashi, running towards them. The sight was like a punch in the gut.
It wasn’t that she was running when usually all Kakashi could manage was a quick walk, or that she was wearing his favourite jacket despite not knowing that it could have been his favourite jacket. Not even that they had brought Kakashi’s entire dog pack with them, each held on separate leashes and scrambling against the tarmac for purchase as they chased after who they thought was their owner.
It was that he saw himself smiling.
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled like that, let alone seen himself smile like that. He didn’t look at himself in mirrors often.
God, what was this girl doing to him?
“Kakashi!” she called. She stopped about two meters from him and looked him up and down with those greys that were usually so dull and Kakashi felt like he was looking at a ghost. “Sorry. It’s okay for me to call you that, right?”
Obito was the first to respond, eyeballing Kakashi’s real body with of surprise and contempt. “Rin? Is that you?”
“Obito!” Rin exclaimed, noticing him for the first time. “You’re here too?”
“Y – yeah, of course!” he sputtered. “Huh, Hatake, you’re so short – shorter than me.”
“Oi,” Kakashi warned. “Uh, yeah, you can call me by my first name if you want, Rin.”
His dogs were sniffing curiously at his feet and hands, gorging themselves on Rin’s scent. Minato was keeping his distance for the moment, fiddling with his phone. Probably messaging Kushina.
“Your brother’s really nice, Kakashi,” Rin said, following Kakashi’s gaze with her own. “He made me breakfast this morning and then we took the dogs on a walk and decided to bring them here. There’s so many! I’ve been trying hard to remember all their names. Ah – sorry, I’m rambling. It’s just so strange talking to myself and meeting you for the first time!”
All Kakashi could manage was a meek, “yeah.” His mouth had probably never moved so much in one day before, not since he was a kid. Obito, who had been sizing his body up still, was now staring at Minato.
“That’s your brother?” he asked, frowned. “He looks nothing like you.”
“We’re not related,” Kakashi said. “Minato-nii! What are you doing?”
“Sorry!” Minato exclaimed. Bull was pulling on his leash, which he’d wrapped around his wrist. “Kushina wanted me to get a picture of your first meeting!”
Kakashi slapped a hand over his face, although all he would achieve by doing so by obscuring Rin’s face from the photo that would follow. “Oh, no. I hate pictures.”
“Come on – it’s not that bad,” Rin pressed. He couldn’t decide whether he liked the way she made him sound or not. “Huh? Hey, what happened to your – my – face.”
Fuck. He wasn’t one for inward swearing, but this was one time that definitely called for it. Kakashi glared through his fingers at Obito, who was in turn staring at some singular point on the ground whilst wiping ‘dust’ from his eyes.
It was the first in the succession of stills that Minato managed to capture. The second was Rin grabbing Kakashi’s hand to pry it away from his face – though the photo made it look like their roles were reversed.
The skin-on-skin contact was enough to initiate their Switch back into their own bodies, marked by the third still and the one that Kakashi framed on his bedside table: Rin, now as Rin, with her black eye smiling widely, at home in her own body with an open-mouthed grin on her face, clutching Kakashi’s hand tightly so he couldn’t pull it away, the remnants of her joy still etched on his face – Obito in the background, red-faced and rubbing his eyes, accompanied by a handful of rabid dogs jumping and yapping excitedly.
It didn’t matter what he’d said before whether he wanted to date Rin or not. Her smile he had entrusted to Obito, and to Rin he silently entrusted Obito’s, but his own he entrusted to himself. Even if he might never experience it again, it was enough for him that the proof of its existence remained in that photograph.
Kakashi went home that afternoon with all his dogs, a new number in his phone, and an idea. He would break Rin’s heart for her sake, for Obito’s, and for himself – so that he knew that his last smile was hers.