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I still love you, but I do not dare to say it aloud. You are a gentleman. I thank you for your care. She is waiting for you. Go, go. Walk away from me. Don’t look back. I blink so often that I can manage to handle tears welled up in my eyes.
He glances back once more. Smiling, I wave my hand in the air. Giving me a shy and warm smile, ginger red vanishes behind the buildings. I manipulate the wheelchair and climb the slope to the hospital. To the grey space where the other patients move around with the same symptom like me. The word “symptom” is an evasive word. Actually, I am a werewolf.
I hate sympathy. No, thank you. I am a warrior. I still face the war. Everyone works for rebuilding. But I do not. I still fight alone here. I revolve the wheels. I enter the cubicle.
Healers take care of me. They lay me down on the bed. A strong smell of the potions pungently reach my nose. They equip me with drip tubes. These are my weapons. I survive this though I hate it. I see the calendar on the wall to check the full moon. Ten days are left. I look into the hand mirror and greet to myself. “Hello, beauty. How are you today？”Me in the mirror is beautiful. I am happy for a while remembering his words,
“You are beautiful, Lavender. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” Tiny freckles sprinkled on his face and his characteristic voice are still vivid in my mind.
I know those words are spoken to comfort me. My fingers trace the ugly scar on the nape of the neck. Reality comes back. On the contrary, the memories we share are adorable to remember. The kiss at Hogwarts Tower, laugh at his funny mimicking of our classmates. I laugh to myself as if I could delete all disgusting memories during the battle. However, I don’t regret my action. I am happy to have fought with him for freedom.
She has been a winner. She is a perfect woman to send him with a get well-card to me. Ron is a happy man. He is imperfect, which I love. They are a good couple. So I say good-bye to Ron. And good-bye to my best youth, the spring of life.
I hear a knocking sound. I say ‘Come in’. I am surprised by the unexpected person. His Irish accent sounds comfy in my ears. I am amused by the fact that I am still popular among Gryffindor boys. I have two visits today. The fellow patients in this room must be jealous of me. Once again, I make a coy smile to attract the boy in front of me. I say good-bye, Ron in my mind. However, I don’t give up my life. Sunshine from the window warms the blanket on my bed. Good-bye, my old love and I say hello to my new love. I smile at him,
“What a surprise! How have you been, Seamus?”