Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Close your eyes, can you hear me? Good.

Let me tell you a story, probably my favourite one, to be honest, about three kids and the ill-fated adventure they embark on. This story will contain betrayal, death, destruction, an unhealthy amount of fire emojis, treason, arson, several crimes I’d rather not list, old friends, new friends, unstoppable time demons, and, most importantly, friendship. So if you dislike any of those oddly-specific things, you are welcome to get up and leave my office, no one is stopping you.
Still here? Excellent. Dear friend, sit tight as I bring you through the wild adventure of three kids, and a game they play together.

Our story begins off the shores of a small alcove, tucked away, hidden from the world and all of its treacheries.
A child sat outside on a flattened rock, her twin ponytails coloured respectively jet black and mossy green swayed with each movement she made. Her eyes were glued to a hopping amphibian that had made its way past her, each hop making a satisfying plop against the ground.
The gentle rocking of the vast forest canopy overhead mixed with the occasional sunlight ray penetrating through the thick blanket of leaves made the forest floor seem like it was alive, crawling, prowling.
But the child didn’t find such things you and I would find a miracle of nature as such, she was too busy thinking about something else, well, more than thinking, she was waiting, waiting for a reply.
Expectantly, she took out her phone and opened the messages, checking if her friend had seen the message.

-- [OI] overzealousImpulse begun pestering [BS] burningShenanigains at 13:27 --

OI: hey!
OI: are you there?
OI: come on pick up
OI: please it's urgent!!!
OI: please!!!

To her dismay, her friend hadn’t responded to her messages yet. But she didn’t think much of it, after all, this particular friend of hers has quite destructive hobbies that usually distracted xem from the outside world. But xe isn't important now, back to the moss-haired child. The kid got up from her rocky resting place and carefully made her way back into her small wooden cottage, taking each step slowly lest to crush the small mushrooms that had begun to grow between the cracks of the cobblestone pathway that lead to her front door. After masterfully dodging the blossoming plants, she stepped inside, removing her muddy boots and hanging them outside, where a particularly strong ray of sunlight hit, allowing the mud to cake and subsequently crumble off. Quite the inventive trick if I do say so myself. The child, now wearing her favourite frog-themed socks, made her way over to a small armchair and jumped onto it, reaching for a book she had left on a table and opening it on the page she had bookmarked. What met her though was an unpleasant surprise as a grey envelope slipped out, falling onto her lap. Of course, she was aware of the presence of the envelope, after all, she was the one that had put it there. But upon second glance, she had noticed something peculiar, something she hadn’t noticed before. The envelope had a faint green light pulsating inside of it, each flash taking about five seconds to appear and disappear. With piqued interest, she dug her nail into the envelope and opened it, pulling out a white disc with a green spirograph printed on it. No text was present on the disc, only a note taped onto the inside of the envelope with a hastily written message:

“To myself, my past self. As soon as you start reading this letter, put the disc in your computer and run it. Tell the others to do the same. I’m sorry I don’t have time to explain further. And please, remember: Do not lose control.”

The note felt dry, the paper it was written on was on the verge of crumbling and turning to dust, luckily though, she had read it in time.
Her phone chimed, startling her.

Finally.

-- [OI] overzealousImpulse begun pestering [BS] burningShenanigains at 13:27 --

OI: hey!
OI: are you there?
OI: come on pick up
OI: please it's urgent!!!
OI: please!!!
OI: hey!
OI: are you there?
OI: come on pick up
OI: please it's urgent
OI: please
BS: hey
BS: whats up
OI: why weren't you responding earlier??
BS: i was busy
OI: of course
BS: so what do you need to urgently?
OI: did you get a letter?
BS: oh, yeah, i burnt it
OI: WHAT???
OI: WHY DID YOU DO THAT???
BS: calm down, i took the stuff out first
BS: im not dumb
OI: well...
BS: shut it
OI: what was in the letter?
BS: a disc and a note
OI: what does the note say?
BS: dunno, its really smudgy and smells like firewood, not that the smell makes it harder to read
OI: the note?
BS: yeah
OI: can you send me a pic?
-- [BS] burningShenanigains sent a file. --

The child looked at the photo her friend had sent her with a curious gaze, zooming in on her phone to see if, somehow, she could make out whatever that note said.

OI: i think i figured something out!
BS: what?
OI: the first words are:
OI: "stay inside"
OI: after that i cant make out any more sorry :/
BS: "stay inside"? weird
BS: did you get a letter aswell?
OI: uh, yeah
OI: oh! that reminds me!
OI: put the disc you got in your computer
BS: why?
OI: just do it please!!
BS: okay
BS: it says its installing
OI: ok cool!
OI: brb

The girl grabbed the disc and put it into her computer, its mechanical whirring felt out of place, almost alien.
A window immediately popped up onto her screen, a black background with a big, green button with the word “PLAY” written on it in a terribly ugly font.
Above that button, the title of the game glared at the child, its neon green reflecting off of her glasses; “SBURB”.

BS: should i press play?
OI: uh sure
OI: actually wait shouldnt we wait for IH too?
BS: good luck getting to him...
OI: ill try!
BS: alright, so can i try and start anyway?
OI: if you want!
BS: got it, ill tell you if something happens, its on a weird loading screen now

-- [OI] overzealousImpulse ceased pestering [BS] burningShenanigains at 14:35 --

The kid closed the chat with her friend and opened one with her other one, hoping he would be online. To her dismay, once again, he wasn’t online, that would’ve been too easy.
After sending him a couple of messages, she put her phone down and begun investigating the mysterious program that had activated on her computer. She couldn’t exit out of the program as it had no close button in the top right, so she had no choice but to press play, or stare at the main screen indefinitely.
Upon clicking play she felt a strange sensation tingle in her body. It was of excitement mixed with horror, dread, anxiety, and harrowing loss. No biggie, really.
The formerly black screen immediately lit up, displaying a various array of colours constantly changing in the background while a white loading bar sat in the middle of the screen, slowly filling up.
Over the loading bar she read various sentences that at the time seemed like complete nonsense to her:
“Adjusting Moons”, “Calibrating Veil”, “Generating Reckoning”, “Creating Clocks” and so on.
But just as the bar was about to fill up completely, it stopped.
“Awaiting Host.”

She had no idea what this meant. A host? Was this an online game? Did she need someone to host her session?
But as she pondered, her phone began chiming rapidly, who could it be?

-- [BS] burningShenanigains begun pestering [OI] overzealousImpulse at 14:54 --

BS: it says i found my host!
BS: its showing me an image of my own room
BS: oh wow its live! i can see myself
BS: HOLY SHITT
OI: what?
BS: WHAT IS THAT
OI: huh?
OI: in the sky?
BS: CANT YOU SEE IT?
BS: FUCK I HAVE TO GO

-- [BS] burningShenanigains ceased pestering [OI] overzealousImpulse at 14:57 --

Zoey would’ve insisted on contacting her friend, but just as she tried to contact xem once again, a large shadow loomed over the house.
She rushed outside and looked up, trying her best to make out whatever it was through the thick canopy over her.
At first, she wasn’t able to identify it, but after a couple of moments, she finally figured out what was barreling towards her at dangerous speeds.
She was frozen in fear, her eyes widened at the sight of her impending doom.

What now, Zoey?

Chapter Text

This kid’s coolness isn’t merely a choice, it is a lifestyle. And even though his phone was constantly pestering him, he couldn’t care less, he had sick beats to bop to.
This child was lying down on a lounger he had set up on his balcony, overlooking the vast city under him.
He didn’t rule it, of course, he just lived in a really tall building which conveniently overlooking the busiest part of the unnamed city he lived in.
But his minions weren’t any of his concern right now; the only thing he had to focus on were the sick beats thumping in his ears.
But he couldn’t really enjoy all this music with the distant sound of his chiming phone in the living room, it just ruined the mood.
Reluctantly, he got up and grabbed his phone, god he was so popular, you can’t get any cooler than him, look at all of those message notifications!

-- [OI] overzealousImpulse began pestering [IH] irritableHermit at 14:36 --

OI: hey!!
OI: heyy
OI: are you there?
OI: stop listening to music!!
OI: heeeeeey
OI: please respond!
OI: stop ignoring me!!
OI: BS is in trouble! can you try and talk to xem?

This kid had no time for all of these clout chasers, he had important business to deal with. After all, you can’t build your reputation as a famous swag boss without a bit of dedication.
Having his musical mood completely ruined by the intrusive text messages, he abandoned the balcony and threw himself onto the couch in his living room, eyeing the grey envelope on the coffee table before him before grabbing his phone and, finally, responding to the barrage of messages his friend had left him.

-- [OI] overzealousImpulse began pestering [IH] irritableHermit at 14:36 --

OI: hey!!
OI: heyy
OI: are you there?
OI: stop listening to music!!
OI: heeeeeey
OI: please respond!
OI: stop ignoring me!!
OI: BS is in trouble! can you try and talk to xem?
IH: sup 🔥
IH: did you have to spam
OI: oh my god!!!
OI: there's a situation here!
IH: what did you two do
IH: is this another one of your pranks
IH: not this time Zoey!! 🙄🙄
OI: this isnt a prank!
OI: something really bad is going on!
OI: look in the sky! do you see anything?
IH: let me check

He put down his phone and shot a glance over at the sky, it was a brilliant baby blue, no clouds in sight.

IH: what about it
IH: its empty
OI: listen you may not believe me
OI: but there are meteors! they are falling!
IH: what...
IH: this is your worst prank yet
IH: your quality is dropping 📉📉
OI: this isn't a lie i swear!
OI: look!
-- [OI] overzealousImpulse sent a file --
IH: wow great image edit!
IH: KIDDING
IH: it sucks!!! 😂😂
OI: :/
OI: okay if you dont believe could you just open the envelope you got?
OI: you got an envelope, right?
IH: bold of you to assume i got one but yeah i did
OI: did you open it?
IH: well at first i didn't since i thought it was just more hate mail from my various haters, they're all jealous of my swag 😎
IH: thats just what happens when youre as cool as me 😎😎
OI: please open it now!!
OI: its urgent!
IH: fine!!

Letting out a frustrated sigh, the kid grabbed the envelope and tore it open, letting a disc with a note taped onto it fall onto the carpeted floor.
He grabbed the disc and tore the note off, it read:

“Sup me, its me from like the future (dope I know). Anyway, run that disc or you will suffer really bad Consequences, and so will your friends! Also, protect your friends, you need them you dumbass.”

IH: holy shit
IH: this prank is next level
IH: im actually impressed 🤯
IH: how did you get my address though? i never gave it to either of you
OI: what??
OI: the note isn't a prank a swear!
OI: look just, run the disc!
IH: and install some weird virus on my computer? nuh uh ❌❌
OI: please!!!
OI: im being serious!
IH: ...
IH: fine, but only because i respect you
OI: thank you! :)

The kid got up from the couch and brought the disc with him to his epic gaming computer setup; three LED monitors rigged with RGB lights, two ventilators one for each side of his pc and a massive 2-litre bottle of mountain dew he still had to go through. Yeah, it was pretty epic.
He looked at the disc for a moment before putting it in, it had a blue spirograph printed onto it with no additional text.
As the disc slid into the computer, all of the monitors except one turned off. The one monitor remaining displayed a green button with the text “PLAY” written on it, and above that button, you guessed it, was written - in equally horrid green - “SBURB”.
Without a second thought, he clicked the button, a familiar multicoloured loading screen flashed onto the monitor.

OI: did you do it?
OI: are you in?
IH: yeah
IH: im suprised it wasn't a prank
IH: kind of disappointed, actually
OI: does it say something about a host player somewhere on the screen?
IH: yeah
IH: wait what the fuck
IH: i can see my own room
IH: and yours too
IH: like, in another window
IH: this is trippy 🥴
OI: i think that means youre my host player!
IH: what does that actually mean
OI: im... not really sure :/
OI: are there any instructions?
OI: hey!
OI: are you there?
OI: heyyy!!
IH: what the fuck
IH: there's a cursor flying around in the sky
IH: are you doing this?? 🤔
OI: no!
IH: why is the sky so orange all of a sudden
IH: oh holy shit
IH: ohooh fuck
OI: ?
-- [IH] irritableHermit sent a file --
IH: wait its getting closer?
IH: shiiit 😨
IH: i have to go
OI: oh, ok!
OI: stay safe!
OI: i have no idea whats going on either, im a bit scared
OI: could you try and contact BS? Xe hasn't been responding to my messages
IH: alright, ill try
OI: thanks
OI: again, stay safe
IH: nothing will stop me
IH: im just too swag ☝️☝️🔥

-- [OI] overzealousImpulse ceased pestering [IH] irritableHermit at 15:19 --

Despite how cool Karter might have seemed when talking to Zoey, he was freaking the fuck out.
The heat around him rose exponentially as he made his way to the balcony, above him, in the now-crimson sky, thousands of tiny dots were barreling towards him, with each passing moment, certain death crept closer.
The cursor now floating around his house certainly didn’t help either, he felt trapped, entombed between death and more death.
That was until he received a message.

-- [BS] burningShenanigans began pestering [IH] irritableHermit at 15:23 --

BS: hey dumbass
BS: move your couch
IH: what
BS: do it
IH: why
BS: if you dont i will
IH: how?? 🤔
BS: with the cursor
IH: thats yours?! 🤯
BS: it is
IH: do you have fucking hell outside of your house aswell?
BS: yeah alot
IH: huh
BS: move your couch
IH: ughh
IH: ok done
BS: stand back now

The cursor hovered over the couch for a moment before tapping it lightly, causing it to disappear and transform into strange blue rocks.

IH: hey what the fuck? 😡😡😡
IH: what did you do to my couch??
BS: not important
BS: grab the blue rocks
IH: uhm alright 🙄
IH: got them
BS: great, watch this

The cursor moved over to the empty space where the couch once was before tapping the ground, making a large device appear seemingly out of nowhere.

IH: what is that? 🤔
BS: its a
BS: "cruxtruder"
IH: what
IH: thats a shitty name!! 🤢
BS: it really is who the hell names something a "cruxtruder"
IH: you would
BS: >:(
IH: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
BS: just hit the top of it with something heavy
BS: a book maybe
IH: let me see what i can find

After searching for a good couple of minutes, Karter managed to find a heavy enough book, Heaving it onto the Cruxtruders cap. The metal top popped off, revealing a rapidly flashing orb of light that slowly rose out of the tube where it was being held.

IH: what is this?
BS: let me check
BS: its a "kernelsprite" apparently
IH: these names keep getting dumber and dumber 🤣🤣🤣
IH: so what do i do with this
BS: uhm
BS: get something cool and throw it in it
IH: something cool huh...

After pondering on what to throw into the glowing orb for an exaggerated amount of time, Karter settled on a dope anime figurine he had collected. As the statuette made contact with the magical orb, it disappeared into a brilliant flash of light.

IH: thats it?
BS: i think so
BS: wait shit
BS: i gotta move
IH: why?
BS: cant explain
BS: get zoey in the game
IH: how?????
BS: figure it out!
IH: wait!!

-- [BS] burningShenanigans ceased pestering [IH] irritableHermit at 15:49 --

Once again, Karter was left alone to fend for himself, to do everything himself, he was the only one keeping everything together, he was God.
And dare anyone say God doesn’t have swag.

Chapter Text

Snapped matchsticks and a thin layer of ash coated the floor, the intoxicating smell of firewood and charred wood made the child scrunch xyr nose up in disgust.
Although xe was used to the fumes by now, they caught xem off-guard every once in a while.
Xyr room was extremely spacious if one ignored the impossibly tall pile of broken routers, modems, VHS players and various other old machines and discarded tech xe had collected for no reason other than curiosity and passion.

Xe had set up xyr laptop on the ground, using a pillow to keep the base of it off the ground.
Through a massive, circular window, sunlight flooded the room, the shadows of the various matchsticks on the ground stretched across the tiled floor like a forest.
The fire child stood up from the small alcove of beanbags xe had made for xemself, pulling xyr laptop towards xem and scrolling through xyr notifications.
Today was a slow day for xem, no one outside was causing trouble, and no one had decided to pester xem. Well, except for that one conversation with Zoey that you’ve already read.
Xe picked up the half-charred envelope xe had found lying in xyr room earlier from which xe had extracted a white disc with an orange spirograph printed on it along with a burnt note.
The child had already installed the program by the time xe replied to Zoey's pestering, giving it ample time to load and search for the host player.
But as xe was discussing the contents of xyr note to Zoey, only managing to decipher “Don’t go outside” from the incoherent scribbles and smudged out writings, a large shadow blotted out the sunlight that was beaming into the room.
Now, xe didn’t live in a notoriously cloudy area so the fact something big enough to blot out the sun was in the sky was already a concern, but as xe peered outside of the massive round window, a wave of dread washed over xem.

A shadow had spread over the ashen hills around xyr house, a deep dark abyss that entombed anything under it. But the terrifying thing wasn’t the shadow itself, but what was casting it.
Right in front of xem, the first signs of the reckoning appeared, a monstrously sized meteorite was descending from the sky, as if God had thrown one huge, deadly "fuck you" right at xyr house.

Now, I don't have time to explain what xe enjoyed doing, there were far more pressing matters at hand for me to do any research before everything was destroyed. So i'll cut to the chase.
With haste, xe grabbed xyr laptop and the charred note, unnecessarily kicking xyr door down and climbing up onto a small cliff overlooking xyr house.
The incoming meteor didn’t seem to be moving any closer, but xe knew that every second that passed was a second in less xe had.

After wasting time and panicking for a solid couple of minutes, xyr computer chimed. On the screen, the text “Server Player ready” was written.
Upon clicking on it, Karter’s room appeared on the monitor, along with a bunch of tabs detailing how to exactly start playing SBURB.
After quickly skimming through the inexcusably long tutorial, xe had another conversation you’ve already read with Karter.

Having turned Karter’s couch to fancy little blue rocks and having placed a strange device for him to mess about with, xyr game session was rudely interrupted by several smaller meteorites, hurtling towards xem at frightening speeds.
But just as xe got up, Zoey decided to pester once again.

-- [OI] overzealousImpulse began pestering [BS] burningShenanigains at 16:01 --

OI: hey!
OI: you there?
OI: karter told me all about the things you did!
BS: hey
OI: how did you do those things?
BS: i found a tutorial
OI: could you give me a summary?
BS: uh sure
BS: get grist, place cruxtruder, bonk it with something heavy
BS: throw something into the magical orb it generates
BS: then
BS: uhm
BS: i cant remember
BS: it was all really technical
OI: okay...
OI: and all of this is supposed to happen in your house?
BS: yeah, i think
BS: you are my host player and you need to get me into the game
OI: arent we already in the game?
BS: no not really
BS: you, my host player, need to get me into the game before these meteors yknow
BS: kill us
OI: kill? like in-game kill?
BS: no, we actually die
OI: WHAT?
OI: so that meteor in the sky coming straight at me isn't just some fancy vr thing???
BS: no, its going to kill you
OI: OH.
OI: WOW
OI: I
BS: im sorry Zoey i thought you knew
OI: how would've i known...
BS: i dont know i just
OI: i need some time
BS: we dont have time
BS: we need to go
OI: shut up
BS: zoey

-- [OI] overzealousImpulse ceased pestering [BS] burningShenanigains at 16:12 --

The child closed xyr laptop and let out a long, deep sigh, realising the gravity of the situation.
Unlike xyr friends, xe didn’t care much about leaving xyr old world behind, xe never found xemself connected to it, xe did think much of it at all.
In fact, xe was excited.

-- [IH] irritableHermit began pestering [BS] burningShenanigains at 16:14 --

IH: hey nerd 😎
IH: i read the instructions
IH: they are really stupidly long 🥱💤😴
IH: also im trying to find a good place to put zoey's cruxtruder but she isn't responding
BS: she's upset
IH: what??
IH: why?? 🤔
BS: reasons
IH: tell me
IH: what the fuck did you say to her 😡
BS: you know this game is real, right
IH: yeah im playing it right now
BS: no i mean
BS: the meteor hurtling in sky is real
BS: if you dont get into the game properly, you will die
IH: fr?
IH: damn this is the best prank yet
BS: trust me
BS: im not kidding
BS: this is serious
IH: damn
IH: what a bombshell of information you just dropped on me 🤯💣
IH: nothing i cant handle though 😎
BS: get zoey in the game
IH: she isn't responding though
BS: figure it out!

-- [BS] burningShenanigains ceased pestering [IH] irritableHermit at 16:19 --

Xe sat down for a moment and thought about xyr friends and how xe underestimated how they would handle the harsh rules of the game.
Xe cared about xyr friends, xe cared about xem a lot, and honestly, xe was feeling kinda shitty, especially for how Zoey had reacted.
This game wasn’t for the weak if you messed up, you died.
But xe had no choice, at least, that's what xe wanted to believe.
The reckoning drew closer, the sky had turned a beautiful orange hue, countless dots grew larger with each passing moment, the more xe looked at the sky, the closer the end encroached.

Come on, Ashton, thoughts won’t do anything against the incoming barrage of death from the sky.

-- [BS] burningShenanigains began pestering [OI] overzealousImpulse at 16:21 --

BS: hey zoey
BS: look, im sorry for getting you into the game
BS: i wasn't thinking about the consequences
BS: but you need to believe me
BS: it was unavoidable
BS: will you listen to me?
BS: oh wow ironic
BS: im the one spamming messages now
BS: karter would laugh his ass off
OI: hey
BS: oh hey
OI: ive thought about it
OI: i'll help
OI: dont get me wrong im still super angry
OI: but i have to do this
BS: alright
BS: do you know what to do
OI: i read the instructions, yes
BS: great!
BS: do you want me to move?
OI: no

The Cruxtruder appeared out of nowhere, dropping down dangerously close to Ash’s feet.

BS: hey!
BS: you almost hit me!
OI: ...sorry

Zoey used the cursor to bonk the top of the Cruxtruder with a large rock, making an orange cylinder along with the Kernelsprite appear.

OI: so what are you going to put in the thingy?
BS: i dunno uh
BS: how about a matchstick?
OI: that sounds dumb
BS: youre right, let me call my board of judges to assess if this is a good item to prototype
OI: spare me the sarcasm...
BS: im just agitated, sorry

God that chatroom was awkward.
Even though the two friends weren’t there in person, they could feel the tension between them, hell, *I* could feel the tension between them, and I wasn’t even there!

OI: what do you need that orange thing for?
BS: the cruxite dowel
OI: these names keep getting dumber
BS: ikr...
BS: anyway uh could you drop me a totem lathe and a prepunched card
OI: and what and a punched what
BS: just, the thing that looks like a big vice
BS: and the card with holes
OI: oh ok

Zoey dropped the Totem Lathe down next to the Cruxtruder, along with the Pre-Punched Card.
Ashton could make out the shape of a box of matchsticks, curious.
Xe grabbed the cylinder thing, and put it into the totem lathe, inserting the Pre-Punched Card.
Xyr phone began chiming intensely with notifications, but xe ignored them for the moment, being too focused on trying to remember how to properly use the Totem Lathe.
Xe activated the Lathe, watching the dowel xe had inserted in the vice grip spin at impressive speeds.
It spun round and round, faster and faster, it was mesmerising. Woah.

But a hefty slap on the back by the cursor knocked Ash out of xyr trance, snapping back to reality and hearing xyr phone still chiming.
Xe pulled it out of xyr pocket and checked who was pestering xem.
Oh shit.

OI: ASH
OI: ASH
OI: ASH
OI: ASHH
OI: STOP IGNORING ME
OI: THE METEOR
OI: AAAASH
OI: HEY HEY
OI: HEYYY
OI: HELLO???
BS: WHAT IS IT?
OI: THE METEOR YOU DUMMY!!!

Ashton glanced up at the sky only to be met with a terrifying sight. A stray meteor had made its way dangerously close to where xe was standing, and it was moments away from impact.
With a skip in xyr step and fear at xyr feet, xe sprinted to the top of the hill before diving into the ground just as the meteorite crashed into the side of the same hill.
A devastating sound followed as if someone had set off an explosion right in your ear. A large cloud of dust and dirt rapidly rose, pieces of rock and other various pieces of ground shot in all directions, one of them cutting into Ash’s arm.
A sharp pain ran up xyr arm, xe clenched xyr teeth tightly, digging xyr fingertips into the dirt and letting out a muffled scream.

Xe clasped xyr hand around the wound, feeling the warm trickle of blood. The wound wasn’t severe, but god it must’ve hurt.
Ignoring the pain the best xe could, xe stood up and clambered up the hill to see where the meteor had hit exactly.
The Totem Lathe was in ruins, while the carved dowel itself was flung down the hill, landing next to xyr house. But that wasn’t the thing that concerned xem.
The ground under xem had begun trembling, and the massive meteor heading straight for xyr house seemed really, really close.

Dangerously close.

Chapter Text

Zoey was really really pissed. I would say unreasonably pissed but she had a perfectly good reason to not be in the brightest mood.
The shadow looming over her house had gotten slightly bigger from the last time she had checked outside. Zoey wasn't in a hurry, at least, she didn't feel as if she were supposed to be in a hurry. Everything felt serene, the birds were still chirping and the frogs were still croaking and ribbiting.
But despite the soothing environment she was immersed in, her mind was racing. She knew Ashton would’ve survived that meteor, she watched xem get out of the way in time, but that's not what she was worried about.
She was filled with regret, she didn’t mean to snap at Ashton, she knew xe always tried xyr best even if sometimes that “best” wasn’t really the best. And if she hadn’t ignored xem for so long, xe wouldn’t be lying in pain on the ground.
Karter had left a bunch of messages. Better not leave him hanging.

-- [IH] irritableHermit began pestering [OI] overzealousImpulse at 16:15 --

IH: heyy 😎
IH: zoey
IH: i need to know where i can put the crux thingy 🤔🤔
IH: the one with the tube 🧪
IH: you read the instructions right?
IH: zoey
IH: hey!! 💢
IH: UGH
IH: OH WAIT A SEC ash is msging me 🔥
OI: sorry! im here
OI: i was busy
IH: okay cool 👍
IH: where do i place the crux thingy
OI: hmm my house is pretty small
OI: could you try outside?
IH: there's a ton of trees outside 🌳
OI: cant you just remove some?
IH: oh shit i can!!!
IH: thats EPIC! 😎

Outside her house, Zoey could hear the sound of falling leaves along with the flutter of escaping birds. A loud thud followed, the Cruxtruder had been deployed.
Zoey stepped outside to see Karter knock the top of it with a large mossy rock, allowing the Cruxite Dowel and the Kernelsprite to appear.

IH: so what are YOU going to use? 🤔
OI: ?
IH: to put in the sprite
OI: hmm not sure
OI: i DO have a little Craftmine™ plushie in my room!
OI: the Ending Man one, its rly cute!
IH: that old thing? LAME!! 🤣🤣
IH: pick something cooler like a SWEET anime figurine
OI: i dont have those silly things around my house!
IH: SILLY??? 😠😠
IH: ILL HAVE YOU KNOW THOSE FIGURINES ARE TOP QUALITY!! 😡😡
IH: I WILL NOT SIT HERE AND WATCH YOU SLANDER THEM!! 🤬🤬
OI: im kidding dummy!!
OI: i like them a lot :)
IH: oh 😶
IH: okay
IH: cool cool cool
IH: swag epic
IH: let me place the lathe down
OI: is there space?
IH: ill move more rocks

Zoey retreated to her room, emerging with an Ending Man Craftmine™ plushie she had bought for herself for last birthday.
She walked outside, being hit with a devastating gust of wind following a loud crash somewhere in the distance.
The force of the blow almost knocked her to the ground.

IH: what was that? 😕
OI: dont know!
OI: a meteor maybe?
IH: oh shit 😨
IH: it was a meteor ☄️☄️☄️
IH: extremely UN-swag
OI: oh no...
OI: im running out of time!
OI: can you drop me the prepunched card?

Zoey picked up the Dowel that had come out of the Cruxtruder and put it in its vice grip, grabbing the Pre-Punched Card Karter had dropped her and putting it into the allocated card slot.
The machine hummed and carved into the dowel, and, after a few seconds, let out a satisfying ding.
Zoey grabbed the Carved Dowel, it had a very peculiar shape to it. She assumed every totem had a different shape.

OI: okay cool!
OI: what do i do after this?
IH: let me check
IH: so according to this really long instruction thingy, i need to place down an alchemiter so you can put that dowel thingy into it and get into the game?? 🤓🤓
OI: so we're almost done??
IH: think so 🤔
OI: this is great!!
IH: yeah! 😊😊

Karter placed down the Alchemiter, it was a large platform with a long mechanical arm and a small platform, presumably for the Carved Dowel.
Hesitating for a moment, she looked at the Dowel. It was a brilliant green, smooth to the touch.
This was it.
She placed the totem in the Alchemiters scanning area and pressed a button. The machine instantly went to work; the large mechanical arm bent down and scanned the totem before returning to its folded position.
In a brilliant flash of light, a small green pond appeared in the middle the Alchemiter’s larger platform, along with a small green jar containing a tadpole.
She knelt down by the jar and wrapped her fingers around it, bringing it up to her eye level and looking at the little critter swimming inside.
It looked like a tadpole, sure, but something about it seemed different, otherworldly, alien.

Zoey loved tadpoles and frogs, she adored them, but this particular creature wasn’t a tadpole, she knew that, but it wasn’t not a tadpole either.
As her eyes darted from the neon green pool to the slightly less neon green jar, one thought began invading her mind.

Open the jar.
Open the jar.
Open the jar.

Zoey raised her hand to the lid of the jar and squeezed it, turning her hand counter-clockwise. The lid popped open, the water containing the tadpole was odourless.

Spill the jar.
Spill the jar.
Spill the jar.

She hesitated, looking down at the murky green water. What was she doing? Was it right? Wrong?
She had no idea, none at all.
But hey, it was worth a try.

She split the water into the pool, letting the tadpole gracefully fall in and swim about.
But after that, she felt nothing.
She stood up and looked down at the pond. “What the hell was this all for?” she probably thought “Why did I just take so long to put a tadpole in a pond?”
Another gust of wind blew over Zoey, this time causing her to lose her footing, and to fall into the pond.
The water was murky, cold. Her hands frantically waved about, trying to grip onto something, anything. But there was nothing, only the endless abyss, swallowing her whole.
Have you ever felt lost? Hopeless? Submerged in a void where you cannot escape from, dragging you down, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper,

deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper.
To the very bottom.

She woke up lying next to the Alchemiter, her clothes were drenched, her twin ponytails were completely undone, her nose and mouth were filled with water.
She coughed and hacked, wiping her hand over her face and rubbing her eyes.
Her phone had fallen out of her pocket, face-up, chiming with notifications.
Sniffling, she picked it up.

IH: zoey???
IH: are you okay???
IH: i cant see you anymore!
IH: where did you go??
IH: you fell into that pond
IH: OH GOD ARE YOU DEAD???
IH: OH NO
IH: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
IH: ZOEY PLEASE
OI: im not dead silly!!
IH: oh
IH: DONT SCARE ME LIKE THAT!😡😡🤬🤬
OI: i just fell in a woke up somewhere else
OI: its really dark here
OI: oh wait its night
OI: im at my house but
OI: oh wow!!
OI: its like, on a pillar??
OI: idk how to explain this but its rly high up on the ground
IH: 😕😕 ??

Zoey walked over to the edge of the small stone island her house was placed upon.
Underneath her feet she could see a vast undergrowth with various critters she couldn’t quite make out from the high she found herself at.
Massive trees stretched before her, completely covering the vast landscape she found before her and draping it in a thin veil of the shadow cast by the canopy overhead.
In the distance, a small light, glowing.

OI: this place looks... beautiful
IH: i cant see it
IH: but if you find it pretty it must be pretty 😏😏
IH: aha
OI: it really is!!
OI: i wonder why im here though
OI: hmm
OI: OH SHIT WAIT!!!
OI: AAAAA
OI: IS ASH OKAY?!?!?
IH: wdym
OI: the last time i saw xem a biiiiig meteor landed really close to xem!
OI: ooh i completely forgot i thought xe could handle xemself but i dont think xe can!!!! i think xe got hurt!
OI: im so dumb...
OI: i shouldn't have snapped at xem...
IH: its okay! 😊
IH: ill check on xem
OI: thank you... 😊

-- [IH] irritableHermit ceased pestering [OI] overzealousImpulse at 16:59 --

Zoey tried to stop worrying about Ash, xe would be able to handle xemself, xe was strong.
She went back inside to find a strange floating orb in the middle of her room. The orb had a face resembling one of the Ending Man plushies she had thrown into it before.
What was she supposed to do with it?
She needed some time to think, to process where she had just been transported.
Her bedroom was the perfect place for that. She pushed the door open and flipped the switch, a bright yellow light filled the room.
She carefully made her way to her dresser and changed into a much more comfortable outfit, not that water-drenched clothes set a high bar for comfiness.
She grabbed her laptop and climbed up onto her bunk bed, the mysterious floating Ending Man orb still staring at her, atleast she thought it was staring.
Her laptop still had sburb running, unsurprisingly, although this time, she was in control of the cursor.
She grabbed her frog plushie she left on her bed and pressed it against her face.

ZOEY: what do i do now?
ENDERSPRITE: ▤▥▥▢▢▢▨▨▨
ZOEY: huh? you can talk?
ENDERSPRITE: ▩▩▥▥▨▢
ZOEY: well... "talk"
ENDERSPRITE: ▢▢▨▨▨▥▥▥▩
ZOEY: this is extremely helpful

She began closing her eyes, perhaps she needed to rest, after all, she’s had a long day.
Her mind began relaxing, her eyelids closed, the humming of her laptop faded out as she closed herself in her mental fortress.
Of course, Zoey would’ve had a wonderful sleep if it weren't for the cold claw that had wrapped around her arm, trying to pull her down.
In a fit of panic, she rolled off the bed after flailing uncontrollably, dropping her plushie into the Endersprite.
The room was filled with a blinding flash, Zoey squeezed her eyes shut.

She opened her eyes to find a strange Imp-like creature lying on the ground, staring at her with a wide glance.
The little creature before her was wearing a black cube on the top of its head with two purple slits on the side.

ZOEY: huh??? who are you?!

The creature leapt at Zoey, brandishing its sharp claws and diving straight for her neck.
She expected a sharp pain to follow, along with a bunch of other things I’d rather not write.
But none of that followed, just another slightly less bright flash of light, a beam, shooting at the imp and turning it into little blue rocks.

ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- hello! ribbit

Chapter Text

Karter let out a long sigh of relief, knowing Zoey was okay soothed his mind, gave him a moment of respite.
But it was far from over, it was his turn to get into the game now. And considering the situation of his host player, it was going to be harder than he had first thought.

-- [IH] irritableHermit began pestering [BS] burningShenanigains at 17:00 --
IH: yoo
IH: you there? 🤔
BS: yeah
IH: oh youre not dead! 😅
BS: yeah, im not
IH: could you get me into the game? 🎮🎮
BS: i would but my laptop is trapped behind a huge rock that conveniently decided to crash next to my house!
IH: bummer 😭
BS: yeah
IH: maybe i could ask Zoey if she could move it for you?
IH: if youre too weak! 😂🔻💪
BS: dont bother her
BS: ill do it myself
IH: hmm
IH: why was she mad again? 🤔
BS: shes not mad shes just
IH: just? 🤔🤔
BS: i told you already
BS: i lied to her about how the game will destroy the world
IH: oh right
IH: i forgot 😅
IH: you should apologise though
BS: now isn't a good time
BS: shes probably still mad
IH: she isn't though
BS: i dont want to
BS: it doesn't feel right
BS: but shes not important now
BS: i need to get my laptop
IH: yeah
BS: brb

Karter put his phone face down on the small coffee table in his living room, the shadows stretched across the floor grew longer with each passing moment. The meteors in the sky looked terrifying against the dark-red backdrop of the dawning sky. He picked up his phone again and leaned over to the side of the couch where he had left a pair of headphones.
He connected the headphones to the phone and put them in his ears, hitting shuffle on his Musicfy™ playlist.

A cursor finally appeared in front of Karter, it seemed Ash had gotten control of xyr laptop again.

IH: wow that was fast 💨
BS: turns out it was easier to get than i thought
IH: yeah sure you definitely asked Zoey for help 🤭🤭
BS: get up and stop listening to music
BS: you need to do some stuff
IH: wait let me finish this track 🎶
BS: which one
IH: the usual
BS: karter your 'usual' is half the playlist
IH: wow okay
IH: fine 🙄

Karter popped his headphones out and looked at the cursor expectantly.
Out of thin air, a familiar apparatus appeared, the Totem Lathe, accompanied by the Pre-Punched card.

BS: do you have your dowel?
IH: the cylinder thing? 🤔
BS: yeah
IH: 👍
BS: put it in the totem lathe

He approached the machine and slid the dowel into the vice grip, twisting the cap.
The Pre-Punched Card fit perfectly into the slot, the machine responding with a soft click before starting up.
The long thin metal carving tip of the machine-made contact with the dowel, slowly giving it shape.
Karter stepped out onto his balcony and sent a message to Ashton, asking xem to drop the Alchemiter.
Xe responded accordingly, dropping the machine onto the balcony. Underneath the machine’s weight, the metal railings beneath the balcony groaned, but Karter decided to ignore it.
He walked back inside and grabbed the carved dowel, running his hand over the various bumps and ridges that had been sculpted.

BS: should i move the alchemiter?
IH: why?
BS: your balcony
IH: oh it always does that
IH: i should get it fixed 🛠️
IH: oh well it dont matter now 🤷

But it did matter.

Karter stepped outside and made his way towards the Alchemiter, his balcony groaning under every step he took. The air around him had grown considerable warmer since the last time he was outside, he could feel sweat trickle down his forehead, time was running short.
He placed the carved dowel on the smaller Alchemiter platform and pressed a button he figured out probably meant “start Alchemiting”.
The machine sprung to life, several fancy lights flashed on, a long slender mechanical arm began robotically scanning up and down the dowel, studying every crease and crevasse that had been sculpted.
After a couple of minutes, the larger platform began humming, an object started forming out of thin air.
A set of headphones along with an antique-looking mp3 player dropped onto the ground, from them, a tune familiar to Karter was playing.
He picked up the headphones and wrapped them around his head, the music cut off the moment the cushioned pads made contact with his ears.
He lifted the mp3 player from the ground and scrolled through the song repertoire, it was filled with various tracks, all of them titled with an illegible font.
Karter sat down on the Alchemiter platform scrolling through the songs, looking for something he recognised.
Eventually, he stumbled upon a completely blank song. Next to the title, the song’s runtime was displayed: [9999:99].

He selected on the song and pressed play, his ears immediately filled with a deafening silence.
Around him, nothing made a sound, not even his own breath, not even his own thoughts bouncing around his head.
And in that moment of sheer and utter confusion, he felt the ground slip away under him.

Freefalling is an experience one will never find themselves fully immersed in, usually since they are met with a gruesome scene once they land and are never able to tell their experience.
The wind brushing past Karter’s ears blew the headphones off of his head, everything came to him at once.
He could feel his lips dry and skin sting, his eyes struggling to keep open.
Grasping wildly at the air, he managed to grab the mp3 player, its screen now glowing red.
Around him, pieces of what once was his balcony fell past him.

Karter kept his eyes pointed forward, he didn’t want to look down, he didn’t want to see what was approaching, what was waiting to catch him since he knew, it was nothing, no one.
Eventually, he reached for the headphones again, putting them on and closing his eyes. A serene silence wrapped around him, keeping him safe comforting him.
There was nothing out there that could hurt him, nothing, and no one.
And just as he heard the end encroach, he uttered one, final sentence:

“▩ ▩▩▩▩ ▩▩▩.”

Hm? What is it?
What do you mean you can’t read it? It's right ther- oh.
Oh dear, it seems someone tampered with the story…
No matter! It’s not like what he said was important anyway.

Karter woke up lying down on a rocky surface, the gentle crashing of the waves at his feet occasionally sending splashes of water onto his face.
He sat up and immediately scanned his surroundings, he was in a cave, no doubt, long stalagmites and stalactites stretched the cave walls, glimmering patches of coloured rock tucked away behind layers and layers of bedrock.

IH: hey im ok
BS: what?
IH: what?
BS: you disappeared from the screen
BS: wait why is your balcony broken?
IH: it collapsed
BS: holy shit
BS: thats something
IH: it really is
IH: considering i was falling for a REALLY LONG TIME
BS: oh shit that
BS: sucks
IH: yeah
IH: get in the game, now
BS: ok
BS: bye

-- [IH] irritableHermit ceased pestering [BS] burningShenanigains at 18:05 --

Karter tucked his phone back into his pocket and stood up, immediately realising the headphones and mp3 player were nowhere to be seen. He figured it was odd, but not the oddest thing he had experienced that day.

TIKTAALIK: hello there
KARTER: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!
TIKTAALIK: no need for alarm!
KARTER: WH- WHO ARE YOU?

An odd, fish-like creature had made its way out of the water, standing upright on two of its four fin-like appendages.

TIKTAALIK: who are you?
KARTER: i-
KARTER: im karter
TIKTAALIK: oh!!
TIKTAALIK: its you!
TIKTAALIK: the thief!
KARTER: huh?
TIKTAALIK: i must bring you to the others!
KARTER: the others wh-
KARTER: where am i?
TIKTAALIK: in your land!
KARTER: my what
TIKTAALIK: your land!
KARTER: what is that
TIKTAALIK: your land!
KARTER: yes i got it the first two times
KARTER: what do you mean precisely by "your land"?
TIKTAALIK: it is land
TIKTAALIK: which is yours
KARTER: am i dreaming
TIKTAALIK: i dont know!
KARTER: ugh, i wanna go home

Karter turned around to find his house embedded into the cave wall, outside, a familiar flashing orb floated, waiting for him.

TIKTAALIK: oh!
TIKTAALIK: that was funny!
KARTER: to who
TIKTAALIK: dunno!
KARTER: i need to wake up...

Karter decided to leave the Tiktaalik alone, retreating into his apartment and closing the door behind him, the orb followed. He sat down on his couch and stared outside the sliding glass doors that lead to once was his balcony. This cave had a certain charm to it. The water reflected upon the rocky ceiling, projecting odd shapes and figures. The continuous, distant drip of water Karter could hear around him was therapeutic, the air he breathed was fresh, a bit salty, but fresh.

TIKTAALIK: its really calming here isnt it
KARTER: yeah it- AAGH
TIKTAALIK: did i scare you?
KARTER: NO I JUST LIKE SCREAMING
TIKTAALIK: OH ME TOO!
KARTER: THIS IS FUN!
TIKTAALIK: YES IT IS!
KARTER: AHA!
TIKTAALIK: AHA!
KARTER: ah
TIKTAALIK: AHA!
TIKTAALIK: oh we arent shouting anymore?
KARTER: no
KARTER: how did you get in here anyway?
TIKTAALIK: the door was open
KARTER: which door
KARTER: oh
TIKTAALIK: i never knew you liked so many doors!
KARTER: that's just how i roll yknow
TIKTAALIK: i dont!
KARTER: god youre a brick wall
TIKTAALIK: there are no brick walls here
KARTER: you still need to tell me where i am
TIKTAALIK: your land!
KARTER: i get that
KARTER: i mean does it have a name?
TIKTAALIK: it does not!
TIKTAALIK: why dont you give it one?
KARTER: good idea
KARTER: how about swag land
TIKTAALIK: that doesn't sound cool
KARTER: what do you suggest
TIKTAALIK: something cool!

Karter groaned and pulled his phone out, scrolling through his apps to see if he had any games to play, but he had uninstalled all of them so he could keep his thousands of raps stored on his phone for convenient accessibility.
He opened his pesterchum and surprise surprise, no one was pestering him. Ashton was probably busy trying not to die, it seemed like xe was in quite the situation over there.

A strange, black imp-like figure sporting a box on its head with two slits on its side and a skirt awfully similar to that Sailor Moon show Karter always watched walked into Karters view.
It stared at him, he stared at it.

KARTER: is that one of your friends?
TIKTAALIK: no!
KARTER: what is it then
TIKTAALIK: i dont know!
KARTER: of course you dont

Karter got up and carefully approached the imp, taking a step back every time it made a sudden movement. He didn’t trust it.
In a sudden, split-second movement, the imp darted towards Karter, leaping onto his arm and sinking its teeth into his forearm. Karter, luckily, reacting quickly, slammed his arm onto the wall, causing the little imp to explode into various small blue rocks.
He looked down to his arm and made out four small punctures in his arm. Nothing serious, but it would've really made it hard to wear anything with long sleeves.
The medical cabinet in the bathroom had no band-aids left, so he was out of luck for now.

TIKTAALIK: did you get hurt?
KARTER: yeah but im ok
TIKTAALIK: no youre not!
TIKTAALIK: follow me!

The fishy creature stood up on its hind legs and made its way to the reef, where small waves were splashing against the rockface.

KARTER: where are you taking me?
TIKTAALIK: my village!
KARTER: where is it?
TIKTAALIK: underwater!
KARTER: what
TIKTAALIK: mind the typhoons! they can be very deadly
TIKTAALIK: come on!
KARTER: i cant swim
KARTER: let alone go underwater with you
TIKTAALIK: what?!
TIKTAALIK: thats a problem

Karter sat down on a rock, staring at the half-immersed Tiktaalik and down at his battle wound.
When it hit him, the perfect name.

KARTER: land of typhoons and caverns!

Chapter Text

The air in the sky began to warp and distort as the meteors crept closer and closer, beads of sweat trickled down Ashton’s forehead, dripping onto the sallow grass at xyr feet. The sky was falling, piece by piece.

Xe needed to get in, now.

-- [BS] burningShenanigains began pestering [OI] overzealousImpulse at 17:04 --

BS: hey zoey
OI: ash!!
OI: are you okay??
BS: yeah i am
BS: i need you to place down the alchemiter
OI: wheres your dowel?
BS: not important
BS: just place the alchemiter
OI: alright!
OI: did karter enter the game?
BS: yeah he did
OI: oh phew
OI: im glad he's safe!
BS: the alchemiter
OI: oh right!

The Alchemiter appeared next to Ashton, dropping down with a metallic thud. This time at a respectable distance from xyr feet.
Xe set xyr laptop down and made xyr way down to xyr house where the dowel rested. Every movement xe made, xyr arm felt light but it was okay, xe just needed to pull through, no time to waste now.

The dowel, surprisingly, was unharmed. The same couldn’t be said for the surrounding area, though.
While Ashton was getting lacerated by high-speed shrapnel, several other meteors had scorched the earth around xem. An orange glow lit up the sky, while deep, abyssal cracks in the earth had begun to spread.
If that wasn’t an incentive to get in the game, I don’t know what was.
Ash scampered up the hill again and shoved the dowel into Alchemiter receptacle, tripping once or twice on the trip up as red streaks wrapped around xyr arm.
The machine hummed to life, the tremors in the ground began to finally be noticeable.
Heat rose, xe felt dizzy, was this the end? Would xe die, lying on the ground in a pool of blood as hellfire rained upon xem?

No, of course not, that would be silly.
Despite the odds being unfairly stacked against xem, xe persevered: grabbing onto the Alchemiter and taking deep, slow breaths, focusing on one single point in front of xem.
Calm, collected, “everything will be okay” xe chanted in xyr head, squeezing xyr eyes shut.
The machine dinged. On the platform, a small, orange, brandless box of matchsticks sat.

Xe grabbed it and slid it open, taking out one of the matchsticks and studying its features.
Xyr phone buzzed, xe closed the box and took xyr phone out.

OI: did you put something in the orb thing?
BS: i dont know, maybe?
OI: go check!
BS: alright

Ashton put the matchstick box in xyr pocket and speedily walked down the hill, the fractures in the ground slowly creeping closer and closer.
Xe pushed xyr door open and, sure enough, the Kernelsprite was there, hovering in the air.

BS: ah shit
BS: what should i put in it?
OI: i have no idea
OI: maybe like, something sentimental? or close?

Of course, something sentimental, something xe would never want to lose, something, or someone.

Xe rushed outside and made xyr way to another solitary tree behind the house, falling to xyr knees and digging into the dirt. Each movement xe made xyr head spin, the cold dirt lodging itself underneath xyr fingernails.
Xe hit a box and pulled it out. It was beautifully decorated, dull orange flames were painted on the sides and the letters “RIP” were written out on the front.
The box opened effortlessly and inside, wrapped in various now wilted flowers and leaves, an orange jar with “EMBER” hastily written in sharpie sat.

OI: who is ember?
BS: my pet fox
BS: she died a couple of weeks ago
OI: oh...
OI: im so sorry
BS: its okay
BS: anyway do you think i can use this?
BS: its... pretty sentimental
OI: i think so!
OI: i dont know if there are rules
BS: ill try

Ashton got up and held the jar against xyr chest tightly, closing xyr eyes. Xe could feel Ember next to them, breathing, living.
The ground underneath Ash’s feet shook violently, the tree behind xem bent and buckled underneath its own weight.
A large fracture appeared underneath Ashton, a blast of hot air hit xem at full-force, knocking them over onto the ground.

The metallic walls of xyr house groaned as xe kicked the door down, the piles of broken and old devices fell onto the ground, sending glass shards everywhere.
Xe threw the jar into the Kernelsprite, it exploded into a flash of light and disappeared.
The ceiling caved just as Ashton had run out, sweat trickling into xyr eyes and mouth.
Xyr breaths were heavy, staggered, xyr vision blurry. Xe wanted to just fall over and lie on the ground, close xyr eyes and let everything go away, disappear in a blaze of glory.
But that wasn’t gonna happen, no, Ashton, you have something to do.

Xe fiddled with the matchsticks, opening the box and dropping them on the ground.
The dirt under xyr feet was heating up, the meteor in the sky was moments away from crushing everything, the head around xem had risen to an exaggerated amount.
It was now or never Ashton.

Xe fell to the ground and grasped at one of the matchsticks, clumsily grabbing it and trying to strike it.
Sparks flew, but no ignition. Xe tried again.
Nothing.

Times running out Ashton!

Xe tried again, the match ignited for a moment but quickly blew out.
Again, nothing.
Again, nothing.
Again, nothing.
Again, nothing.

Ashton tried one final time, the meteor was tearing up the ground under xem, xyr house collapsed, xe felt xyr skin on fire.

The match was struck, a blazing star was born.
Flames engulfed Ashton, xe felt xyr life slip away, it was over, xe was dead. It was over before it even began.
And everything went black.

***

Ashton woke up lying on the ground. Dark, twisting clouds swirled above xem, a cold fresh breeze swept over xyr face.

Xe was okay, everything was okay.
Xe closed xyr eyes and took a deep breath, taking it all in.
An intrusive snout snapped Ashton out of xyr dreaming, poking xem in xyr face. Xyr gaze met a fairly small orange dragon who was staring at xem with a curious stare.

ASHTON: who are you?
FLAME: abth
ASHTON: huh?
FLAME: babph
ASHTON: i guess i shouldnt expect a dragon to talk...
FLAME: bah

The little dragon bit down on Ash’s sleeve and began pulling, almost as if he wanted to get xem on xyr feet. He insisted for a bit before using one of his claws, repeatedly hitting Ash on the arm with his palm

ASHTON: haha
ASHTON: ha
ASHTON: ow
ASHTON: ow!
ASHTON: ah! alright
ASHTON: ill get up
FLAME: pbth.

Ashton got up and brushed off xyr pants. Xe checked xyr phone, no notifications. Xe contemplated if xe should send Zoey a message to say that xe is alright, but the incessant nudging of the small dragon made xem think otherwise.
She could wait, Ash had a dragon to follow.

The critter brought xem through a vast, but thin, forest. Each tree had vibrant green leaves.
Xe also observed some large fires that were burning through piles of dry wood. These fires, though, were completely isolated from the rest of the surrounding forest, essentially making them harmless, almost as if they were decorations.

ASHTON: where are we going?
FLAME: babpha
ASHTON: right...

As xe walked and dried leaves crunched underneath xyr shoes, xyr phone buzzed.

OI: ash?
OI: ash where are you??
BS: i got in the game
OI: oh my god
OI: i got worried...
OI: when i got back, everything was on fire
OI: are you sure you're okay?
BS: im fine
BS: and i have to go
OI: oh okay!
OI: see you later!

-- [BS] burningShenanigains ceased pestering [OI] overzealousImpulse at 18:05 --

The dragon brought Ashton into a clearing, where a large opening to a fairly shallow cave stood, the obsidian rocks blended in with the dark swirling clouds in the sky, burning embers around the base lit up the interior, the rich smell of firewood crept up xyr nose, it smelt nice, soothing.

ASHTON: is that your home?

He nodded and nudged xem into the cave, pushing xem down onto a low, rock-carved stool.
What did this critter want from me? Why is this cave so warm and soothing? and Whats next? along with several other questions bounced around xyr head.
The walls had various odd symbols along with some names poorly written in crimson red paint.

ASHTON: what are these names?
ASHTON: wait, there are others?
FLAME: pthbm.
ASHTON: whats your name?

The dragon walked over to Ashton and climbed onto xyr lap, shakily standing up and pointing his claw over to the word “FLAME”

ASHTON: flame? is that your name?
FLAME: mmmmmhmm!
ASHTON: i love that name!
FLAME: ba babpth!

Flame hopped down and grabbed a bowl of various herbs and dead bugs, all of it immersed in a soup-like liquid.
Surprisingly, though, it smelt like cinnamon.
The dragon took another bowl for himself and started eating handfuls of it, making a mess all over his soft-looking dragon belly.
Ash tried the meal for xemself, scrunching up xyr face in disgust as xe crushed the dead bugs in xyr mouth. The initial taste was absent, but the aftertaste was sweet.

ASHTON: so where are the others?
FLAME: aabthph

The dragon pointed to the other names on the wall, Water, Bolt, and Gale. Then he pointed outside towards a large plume of bright grey smoke in the sky, it stood out amongst the other, darker plumes of smoke from the various fires.

ASHTON: how many others?

He held up nine claw fingers, putting them down shortly after and continuing to feast on the bowl before him. Ashton reluctantly ate one more handful before putting it down.
Flame set down his now empty bowl of insect mush and grabbed Ash by xyr pants, pulling xem along as he conducted xem back into the forest. After walking seemingly aimlessly for a couple of hours, the swirling clouds overhead grew darker with each passing minute, was it about to rain?
Thunder cracked through the sky with a thunderous noise, rain began pouring down relentlessly, drenching Ash completely from head to toe.
Their walk became a trudge, the ground beneath xyr feet sank slightly, yet the endless forest spread around xem with no end in sight.
A river emerged from the thick downpour, this was the first landmark xe had seen in this barren land.

Flame stopped by the river and sniffed the air for a moment, the water droplets sliding off his skin seamlessly, before letting out a loud call.
A fair few minutes passed before another, higher-pitched call emerged from the fauna beyond the river.
Ash tried to approach the river but Flame stopped xem, pulling xem back. He shook his head.
The call reverberated through the sky once more, this time closer, once more, closer, once more, closer, until a small, baby blue dragon emerged from the relentless downpour.
She walked over to the other edge of the river and lowered her head down to the water, blowing gently.
A thick sheet of ice formed across the water, giving the two a way of passage.
Flame lead Ashton over the ice bridge, his clawed paws sizzling as they touched the frost.
Flame and the smaller ice dragon looked at each other, before looking up at Ashton.

GLAZE: bbabphbm? (Is this xem?)
FLAME: pthbth! (I think so!)
ASHTON: uhm
ASHTON: hi

Of course, Ashton had no idea what the two dragons were saying, all xe could make out were incoherent babblings and other sounds which sounded kinda adorable.
Two small wings emerged from the ice dragons back, this surprised Ashton but then again xe expected something of the sort. She flew up and hovered at eye-level, the cold air from her snout blowing onto Ash’s face.
She dropped to the ground and nudged Ashton’s leg, xe had understood now that this meant xe had to follow them.
The smaller dragon brought Ash through the same forest xe had seen around xem constantly, this time, though, the ground felt cold, and the incessant downpour certainly made everything colder.

FLAME: abph? (Is it still out there?)
GLAZE: bamphmp... (I think so...)
FLAME: pabthft? (Did you try to stop it?)
GLAZE: bah. (I can't do much, you know that.)
ASHTON: honestly this is kinda cute
FLAME: Pbth!! Baabpha!! (No! This is a severe matter!)
ASHTON: hm?

Flame gave up trying to talk to Ashton, he knew xe wouldn’t understand a word he said. Instead, he told Glaze to stay back, he didn’t want her to get hurt.
Eventually, the three of them arrived at a ruinous scene: trees were lying on the ground, crushed underneath the weight of a terrible beast. In the distance, Ashton could make out a massive, hulking creature semi-concealed by the thick mist that had formed along with the ever relentless rain bucketing down onto them.
The creature noticed their presence and turned around, it was wearing a huge box on its head, along with a sailor moon outfit and a fox tail, it looked really really stupid.

ASHTON: what the fuck is that
FLAME: brbrbrb!!!
ASHTON: what?

Flame wasted no time trying to explain the situation to Ash, he knew once he charged at the creature, xe would follow. So he did precisely that, lifting himself from the ground with his wings and diving towards the ogre, plumes of flame began shooting of his mouth, causing the monster to recoil and cover its face.
Ashton immediately understood what was happening, xe had waited for this moment.

Finally, a bit of action.

Chapter Text

Zoey put her phone down and ran her hand through her hair, Ashton seemed pissed. But then again, xe was always a bit irritated.

ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- who was that? ribbit!
ZOEY: a friend!

Zoey hadn’t done much since the last time we saw her. She had taken a moment to recover from the sudden assault of the small imp and additional moments to process the fact that she had just been saved by a floating amalgamation of an Ending Man™ head and a frog who can shoot lasers, it definitely wasn’t the weirdest thing she had seen today, though.
After helping Ash get into the game, she had no idea what to do next, so she tried asking her sprite friend.

ZOEY: what am i supposed to do now?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- reach the first gate! ribbit!
ZOEY: where is the first gate?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- above you! ribbit!

Zoey looked up to the sky, she saw the ceiling of her room.
Outside, dummy.
She went to what used to be her front yard and glanced upwards. Sure enough, about 50 meters above her, a green spirograph was floating, and above that one another one, and so on until she couldn’t see clearly them anymore.

ZOEY: are those the gates?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- yes! ribbit!
ZOEY: how do i reach them?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- you need to build zoey! ribbit!
ZOEY: how the heck am i supposed to get up there?!
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- use your laptop dummy! ribbit!
ZOEY: im really confused...

The sprite put their arm around Zoeys back, it felt coarse, like sandpaper and a bit slimy, with some occasional smooth patches.

ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- think about it zo! youre smart! ribbit!
ZOEY: awh thank you!

Zoey went back inside and grabbed her laptop, realising her screen was no longer showing the remains of Ash’s house, but her own house. In fact, she could see herself looking at herself looking at herself looking at herself looking at herself looking at herself looking at herself-

The cursor was under her control.

ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- try building now! ribbit!

She selected the “Revise” function on the toolbar on the top of the screen and dragged a part of her roof upwards.
The game let out a jarring beep, the grist counter in the corner flashed red.

ZOEY: what?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- you need more grist! ribbit!
ZOEY: and uh, how do i get that?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- i cant tell you! ribbit!
ZOEY: what? why not?

But Zoey didn’t need an answer to her question, another imp crawled up the side of the large pillar that was holding her house so impossibly high and rolled onto the ground, looking at her with malicious intent.

ZOEY: oh no! its back!
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- quick! defeat it! ribbit!
ZOEY: what?? how?!

The Imp closed in, snarling and gnashing.

ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- do you have a weapon? ribbit?
ZOEY: uh
ZOEY: i do!!

Zoey rushed inside and slammed the door behind her, hoping to stall the Imp’s advance.
She dived to the various cabinets and began pulling them out, the imp now clawing at her flimsy wooden door.

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
She threw useless things to the side, notebooks, pencils, a CD Karter had mailed her which she never opened but most likely had one of his many rap tracks on it, an empty box of matchsticks, a bunch of hairclips, a connect-four token she swore she had lost three years ago, and a strange 1:1 rolled-up poster of world-renown American actor Steve Buscemi.
Finally, she found a small dagger her elusive parent had given her for her tenth birthday, what an odd gift.
The blade was dark green, from the hilt, two tentacle-like steel extensions wrapped around the base of the blade, ending around the middle of it with a gold finish. The hilt was cold, heavy, her hand wrapped perfectly around it.

Excellent.

She carefully approached the door and listened for the imp’s presence, it was still scratching at the door, annoying bugger.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, the anxiety that was building up in her was gnawing at the back of her head, but she forced it back, she couldn’t afford distractions in such a tense moment like this one.
Zoey screamed and kicked the door open, pouncing onto the imp and repeatedly stabbing it in the chest. The imp exploded into a white cloud and left behind a couple of blue rocks, build grist.
She raised her arms over her head and exhaled, her arms feeling lighter than before.

ZOEY: I AM INVINCIBLE!

Lowering her arms, she was met with an unpleasant surprise: the dagger had snapped in half, the hilt was in her hands while the blade, well, that was nowhere to be found. Aw man.
She walked back to her laptop, hilt in hand, and tried building on her roof again, this time with more success.

ZOEY: so i do this until i reach the gate?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- yes! ribbit!
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- may i give you some advice? ribbit?
ZOEY: yes please! everything here is so... confusing
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- you should place down a Punch Designix! ribbit!
ZOEY: a what??
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- the piano-looking thing! ribbit!
ZOEY: what can i use this for?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- to alchemize new things! ribbit!
ZOEY: alchemize?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- like crafting, but a bit more complex! ribbit!
ZOEY: oh! thats so cool!!
ZOEY: how does it work?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- place the Designix down! ribbit!

Zoey opened the Phernalia Registry and located the Punch Designix, which she placed down next to her Alchemiter and Totem Lathe.

ZOEY: woah! these machines look so cool!
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- you have everything needed for alchemizing now! even some left-over grist! ribbit!
ZOEY: so what now?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- lets make you a new weapon! ribbit!
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- go to the Punch Designix and look at the keypad! ribbit!
ZOEY: okay...
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- now type the captcha code of the object you want a punched card of! ribbit!
ZOEY: huh?
ZOEY: how do i find the code?!
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- you need to captchalogue it! ribbit!
ZOEY: capchalogue?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- capTchalogue!! ribbit!
ZOEY: that clears things up...
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- hold the hilt and concentrate! ribbit!

Zoey looked down at her hands and concentrated on the hilt, she slowed her breaths, tuned out her surroundings, focused her mind.
The hilt disappeared from her hands and appeared at the top left corner of her vision, almost as if it were a HUD. it was contained inside a dark green card. Behind the card, a code was written:

b301BJk

ZOEY: is this the code?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- sure is! ribbit!
ZOEY: so i just type it into the designix?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- yes! ribbit!
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb: you'll need another item though! maybe to replace the blade! ribbit!
ZOEY: hmm...
ZOEY: oh! i know!

Zoey left the Designix and went back to the mess she made clearing out her drawers, she grabbed a small porcelain frog and Captchalogued it.
She made her way back to the Designix and inserted the hilt’s code and the frog’s code.
The piano looking machine let out a low mechanical hum, two cards similar to the carts she had Captchalogued came out of a small slit; the cards were covered in small, perfectly-rectangular holes.

ZOEY: okay i have the cards, now what?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- put them in the Totem Lathe and select the option with the two lines! ribbit!
ZOEY: this is really complex just to craft one thing...
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- you'll get used to it! ribbit!

Zoey did as her sprite told her, putting the two cards into the Lathe card receptacle.

ZOEY: wait are we missing something?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- good observation! ribbit!
ZOEY: like, the green cylinder thing?
ZOEY: the dowel, right?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- yes! ribbit!
ZOEY: great! so like
ZOEY: how do i get one?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- the same way you did the first one! ribbit!
ZOEY: oh!
ZOEY: oh
ZOEY: oh...
ZOEY: im not strong enough to throw something heavy on that...
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- dont be silly! its already been deployed! ribbit!

She turned her head and sure enough, out of the top of Cruxtruder, another green dowel was popping out, ready to be carved.
The dowel was easy to retrieve, it fit perfectly into the Totem Lathe’s vice, as expected.
She changed the carving option so it displayed “||”, the two lines.
With a familiar mechanical hum, the machine carved into the dowel, sculping all sorts of mountains onto its green crystalline surface.

Ding!

Zoey knew what to do from this point on, she took the carved dowel out and slid it into the Alchemiter’s smaller platform, activating it shortly after.
The machine’s slender mechanical arm scanned the dowel, the larger platform in the middle darkened, before letting out a bright flash.
On the platform, a small dagger rested, the hilt was almost identical to the one Zoey had in her hands moments ago, only it was slightly more polished, the blade on the hilt though, was frog-shaped, with the frog's underbelly being the sharp side.

ZOEY: oh my gosh
ZOEY: THAT WAS SO COOL!!!

Zoey picked up the dagger and inspected it, running her hand over the blunt side of the blade, it felt metallic, but also kind of frog-like.

ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- i have one more tip for you! ribbit!
ZOEY: oh? more cool stuff?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- if you want to keep fighting those scary imps without my help, youre going to need to equip a weapon! ribbit!
ZOEY: oh! do i captchalogue the dagger?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- close! but no! that would take up precious inventory space! ribbit!
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- you need to equip a Strife Specibus! ribbit!
ZOEY: a what whatibus?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- your Strife Specibus would be daggerkind! ribbit!
ZOEY: oh, thats simple!
ZOEY: so how do i equip it?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- just like you did when you captchalogued! ribbit!

Zoey concetrated on her newly-alchemized weapon, focusing on the word “Daggerkind”, amongst other things.
The blade disappeared and reappeared in the top-left corner of her vision, where her Sylladex was.

ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- you did it! ribbit!
ZOEY: i did?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- now you can activate your Strife Specibus at any time! ribbit!
ZOEY: oh? thats so cool!!

This whole situation felt so surreal to her, the imps, the whole inventory system, her sprite, that CD of karter she found she still needs to listen to but is too scared to do so since she doesn't want to ruin her impression of Karter even though Ash’s comment on his last disc was “It’s neat.”
She activated her Strife Specibus and, as the sprite had promised, the newly-alchemized dagger was in her hand, whose name she would find out later, was THE ANCIENT DAGGER PORCELAIN FROGS.

ZOEY: so like where does that gate take me?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- it takes you down! ribbit!
ZOEY: down? like down there?

She gesutred towards the distant landscape beneath her.

ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- yep! ribbit!
ZOEY: and like what down there?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- you need to find that out yourself! ribbit!
ZOEY: why are you so mysterious?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- i exist to help you get started in the game! not give you all the answers! ribbit!
ZOEY: oh okay, that clears things up!

Zoey lingered around the outside of her house for a couple more moments before retreating inside, the only thing she had to do now was wait for more imps to arrive so she could make more things and build higher, to reach the first gate and ultimately explore the vast world below her. After a couple of minutes, a couple more imps arrived, announcing their arrival with unattractive snarls and the wagging of their furry fox tail, she found this last detail odd.
The imps were defeated effortlessly by the ceramic blade of frog, and she collected a nice lump of grist from the two monsters.

She decided to split the grist in two, half for expanding her house, the other half for Alchemizing.
Once the house had a couple of extra meters of empty rooms and flimsy staircases that somehow remained perfectly sturdy despite the lack of any kind of structural support.

Now all that remained was the world of endless possibilities of which most of them result in something completely useless, or as anyone other than me would call it: Alchemizing.
Zoey captchalogued her Laptop and that 1:1 Steve Buscemi poster I mentioned earlier which has no other purpose other than scaring you shitless when you wake up at night and find yourself face to face with a flatter version of world-renown American actor, Golden Globe winner, star of Fargo, Reservoir Dogs and tons of other movies you parents would know about if you asked them, Steve Buscemi.

After catpchaloguing the poster, she noticed something, her Sylladex was full.
Only four items? That sucks!

She ejected the broken hilt from her Sylladex, watching it fly off the edge of her island and disappear in the endless green undergrowth below her.

The code behind her laptop and the poster were extremely similar, so it wasn’t too mind-numbing to type in the seemingly randomised string of letters and numbers on the keyboard.
The punched cards popped into the Lathe with ease, she kept the crafting option on “||”.
With the cruxite dowel held tightly in the vice grip, she began the carving process.

The Alchemiter scanned the carved dowel and generated an item Zoey didn’t expect, something that hell, not even I expected.

ZOEY: what... is this?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- you put the cards in the wrong order! ribbit!
ZOEY: there's an order?!
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- if you choose the option with the two lines, the second card will take the shape of the first card! ribbit!
ZOEY: so when i made the dagger, i put the hilt first and the frog second...
ZOEY: ...the hilt took the frog and made it the blade?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- yep! ribbit!
ZOEY: oh wow
ZOEY: well, i cant wait to use this 1:1 computer-shaped Steve Buscemi poster

Sure enough, on the Alchemiter’s generating platform, a sad-looking Laptop-shaped poster with Buscemi’s face plastered on it. Not even the legend himself would find this flattering.
With this gained knowledge, Zoey repeated the process, this time putting the punched cards in the correct order.

What came out of this unholy union was divine, an object legends still speak of to this day, I even have a copy of one here on my desk, see?
Yes, it was from that day that the world was blessed with arguably the best object ever alchemized.

Zoey picked it up and looked at it, it was beautiful, divine, splendorous, and kind of silly.
Her very own Buscemi-top.

This was dumb.

Chapter Text

He couldn’t swim, and that was a problem. I mean, even if he could swim, it wouldn’t help him in the slightest.
The floating orb hovered over next to him, its sailor moon skirt brushing past Karter’s face.

KARTER: alright, what do i do now
TIKTAALIK: dunno!
KARTER: of course you dont

He retreated into his room and grabbed his mp3 player, his bed was unmade and all of his anime figurines were knocked over
After looking through his vast selection of music on Musicfy™, he settled with his “Not feelin so good rn 🤘😔” playlist.
The music began, innumerable thoughts went through his head. When was the last time he had a moment like this? He couldn’t recall.

♫ I’ve been trying for so long ♫

What the hell was all of this anyway? What sort of twisted fucked-up person made this game? He swore he would review bomb this game with shitty reviews once he got the chance.

♫ So you hear what I have to say Like puzzle pieces ♫

He wanted to talk to Zoey, see how she was doing, maybe she knew what to do? His pesterchum theme always made him smile, it was an exaggerated anime-looking theme with ridiculously artefacted images of Konomuma, a character from one of his favourite games, Rangandonpa™, plastered around every conceivable corner of the interface.
When he showed it to Zoey she appreciated his “Artist decisions” while when he showed it to Ashton xe just said, “What the fuck” and changed the topic.

♫ And now we're here at a standstill I wonder if you feel The kind of pain that rips your insides out ♫

-- [IH] irritableHermit began pestering [OI] overzealousImpulse at 20:12 --

IH: supp 🤙
IH: hey zoey
OI: hey karter!!! 👋
OI: how are you?
IH: im cool 😎
IH: i need some help tho
OI: oh?
IH: so like what do you do when ur in the game 🎮 🎮 🎮
OI: ask your sprite silly!
IH: what
OI: your sprite! your little ghost pal!
IH: mine doesn't talk 🤐🤫
OI: did you put something else in it?
IH: no
OI: do that!!
IH: ill try
OI: ok tell me if it works later!
OI: i have to go now!
OI: bye bye!
IH: see ya 👋😎
-- [IH] irritableHermit ceased pestering [OI] overzealousImpulse at 20:14 --

Karter sat up and looked around his room for something else to throw into the glowing anime-shaped orb that had now made its way to his doorway, it was a bit creepy.

♫ Is it because I can't be her? Made your mistakes and make me hurt I can't fix you ♫

He found a pile of fake bones he had collected over the years underneath a pile of discarded anime posters and inspected them.
Perfect.
The sprite filled the room with light as the bones made contact with it, Karter squinted.

KARTER: woah
KARTER: ok
KARTER: that was cool
KARTER: uh
KARTER: hey?
KARTER: hello?
SKELANIMESPRITE: ...
KARTER: is it broken?

♫ Is it because I can't be her? Made me awake and make me hurt I can't fix y-

SKELANIMESPRITE: HELLO THERE KARTER-SAN!
KARTER: woah what
SKELANIMESPRITE: YOU LOOK VERY SUGOI TODAY
KARTER: uh, thank you?
SKELANIMESPRITE: I AM YOUR SPRITE
KARTER: you?
SKELANIMESPRITE: YES, ME
KARTER: ok so can you tell me what im supposed to do
SKELANIMESPRITE: YOU NEED TO REACH THE GATE KARTER-SAN
KARTER: the gate.
KARTER: where is the gate?
SKELANIMESPRITE: THE GATES YOU MEAN
KARTER: there are multiple?
SKELANIMESPRITE: YES KARTER-SAN, AND THEY'RE ALL AROUND YOU
KARTER: what??
KARTER: how do i even get to them?
SKELANIMESPRITE: YOU BUILD KARTER-SAN
KARTER: and how do i do that...

The sprite pointed to his laptop. Karter understood its wishes and opened it up.
He saw himself on the screen, his house, to be precise.

KARTER: where's zoey's house?
SKELANIMESPRITE: SHE ALREADY ENTERED THE GAME KARTER-SAN
KARTER: oh, right
SKELANIMESPRITE: VERY SUGOI
KARTER: so what do i do
SKELANIMESPRITE: BUILD!
KARTER: how??
SKELANIMESPRITE: THE CURSOR KARTER-SAN!!!

Karter realised he had control of the cursor after bonking himself in the head with it.
He zoomed out and looked at all the various islands scattered around the planet, seven to be exact.
With his accumulated grist, he built what resembled the start of a bridge stemming out from the entrance of the cave he woke up in. The Tiktaalik scampered away in fear.
He tried to build again but was met with a jarring beep, no more grist.

KARTER: what do i do now
SKELANIMESPRITE: GET MORE GRIST!
KARTER: how
SKELANIMESPRITE: KILL
KARTER: what??
KARTER: no way no
KARTER: im not killing that funky little fish outside
KARTER: no
KARTER: forget about it
SKELANIMESPRITE: DON'T BE DUMB KARTER-SAN!
SKELANIMESPRITE: DON'T KILL YOUR CONSORT!
KARTER: consort?
KARTER: is that what they're called?
KARTER: why does it sound so ancient
KARTER: im rebranding: ill call them my swaglings now
SKELANIMESPRITE: THAT SOUNDS SUGOI KARTER-SAN
KARTER: hell yeah it does
KARTER: anyway how can i build more
SKELANIMESPRITE: KILL
KARTER: kill what
SKELANIMESPRITE: THE IMPS KARTER-SAN!
KARTER: oh like that monster that bit me?
SKELANIMESPRITE: YES! YOU ARE SO SMART! SUGOI!
KARTER: thank you, thank you

He glanced around his room, waiting for another imp to show up and attack. But nothing happened, no enemy indicator, no music cue, nothing. This unsettled him a bit, no, it unsettled him a lot.
The fact that he didn’t know what could pop out from any corner sent chills down his spine, this gnawing uncertainty made his skin crawl.
The pocket knife his ambiguous parent had given him was his weapon of choice, it accompanied him through thick and thin, although he mostly used it to cut food considering the location of his apartment didn't put him in any immediate danger. Atleast, not in any danger which required the use of a pocket knife.
But times change.

Out of the shadows in the corner of his room, two nefarious eyes peered at Karter, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
The crashing waves outside were slowly tuned out by Karter’s ears, his eyes darting in every direction, looking for the first thing that moved.

There!

Oh, nevermind, it was the Tiktaalik.
He set his weapon down and walked outside, a fresh breeze blew through his hair before dying out, the watery slapping on the rocks of the Tiktaalik irritated him slightly, but he pushed it aside.
The moment of tranquillity was rudely interrupted by a sharp pain in Karter’s back.
He shrieked and tried to grab whatever had clung onto him, without success.

KARTER: SHIT FUCK WHAT THE FUCK IS ON MY BACK
SKELANIMESPRITE: AN IMP
KARTER: OH FUUCK

The sound of his shirt ripping threw Karter into a bloodlust, that shirt was a limited-edition swag shirt Zoey and Ash had sent him as a gift, only one existed in the world, and it just got a pair of holes in the back of it.
Karter threw himself onto the ground back-first and felt the imp get crushed underneath his weight, disappearing into a cloud shortly after and leaving him lying in a pile of grist with awful back pain.

SKELANIMESPRITE: ARE YOU SUGOI KARTER-SAN?
KARTER: thats not how you use sugoi
KARTER: and no
KARTER: i am not "sugoi"
SKELANIMESPRITE: UNFORTUNATE!
KARTER: very
TIKTAALIK: are we lying down now?
KARTER: yeah, sure...

With a wet plop, the Tiktaalik spread out on the ground next to Karter, looking up at the cave ceiling with him. It was beautiful, thousands of small, shimmering lights littered the roof, each of them colored differently, each of them looking back at Karter, a soothing sensation, a soft hand resting on his cheek, the warm sensation of home.

TIKTAALIK: is this what you like to do?
KARTER: no, its boring
TIKTAALIK: why are we doing this then?
KARTER: i don tknow
TIKTAALIK: why not?
KARTER: what the point of doing this??? notihinv ever happens!!
TIKTAALIK: then get up!
KARTER: ...
KARTER: i dont want to

His breath slowed, his eyes shut, he was floating. The rising and falling of his chest became a rhythmic beat, his heart drumming against his chest. Fresh ocean air swept over his face, he tasted salt.
Stray water droplets splashed onto him, waves crashed at his feet.

SKELANIMESPRITE: KARTER-SAN
SKELANIMESPRITE: KARTER-SAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING
KARTER: huh?
KARTER: im lying down
SKELANIMESPRITE: WHY
SKELANIMESPRITE: YOU NEED TO GET TO THE GATE KARTER-SAN!
KARTER: no clue
KARTER: its just nice
SKELANIMESPRITE: GET UP KARTER-SAN
SKELANIMESPRITE: NO TIME TO WASTE!
KARTER: ugh
KARTER: fine
KARTER: wait a sec

Karter quickly sat up, a wave of dizziness hit him full-force, he felt nauseated.

KARTER: guhh… fubck

He slowly stood up and shook his head, using the cave wall to guide himself back to his house.
The pocket knife he discarded was easy enough to find, he subconsciously equipped it to his strife specibus, not even knowing what that meant at the time.

KARTER: i hate it when this happens
SKELANIMESPRITE: IM NOT SURE IF STANDING UP IS YOUR BIGGEST CONCERN KARTER-SAN
SKELANIMESPRITE: THERE ARE MORE IMPS
KARTER: oh fuck

Three imps began closing in on Karter, he noticed that they had fox's tail now. It was odd, but not as odd as an English-speaking lizard from thousands of years ago, a strange ghost skeleton with an anime dress giving him directions and the whole cave in general.
He narrowed his eyes and focused on one of them. One at a time Karter, that's it.

The Tiktaalik opened the attack by pouncing onto one of the imps, incapacitating it after drooling all over it with a transparent gooey substance which would probably be toxic if someone touched it.
Karter responded to this act accordingly, attacking the central imp and picking it up with one hand, the weight surprised him.
He threw the gnashing little imp on the ground and plunged his pocket knife into it, piercing the pristine sailor moon dress and destroying the Ending Man™ box on its head.
Blue rocks appeared underneath him, as expected.

The sprite dealt with the last imp, blasting it with the special sprite-exclusive DEATH RAY which was probably a default weapon to protect the player so they didn’t die instantly.

KARTER: oh fuck
KARTER: that was intense...
KARTER: theres so much grist
KARTER: is there like, anything else i can do with this shit?
SKELANIMESPRITE: YES!
KARTER: oh shit really?
SKELANIMESPRITE: YES!
KARTER: what??
SKELANIMESPRITE: YOU CAN ALCHEMIZE KARTER-SAN!
KARTER: alchemize?
SKELANIMESPRITE: YES! ALCHEMIZE!
KARTER: how do i do that?
KARTER: do i open a menu?
KARTER: press e on my keyboard?
SKELANIMESPRITE: YOU BAKA!
SKELANIMESPRITE: YOU DON'T HAVE A KEYBOARD KARTER-SAN!
KARTER: so what do i do

Skelanimesprite proceeded to explain to Karter how to alchemize in the most ridiculous way possible, quoting several anime’s completly out of context.

KARTER: wow! what a fun and easy to understand explanation!
SKELANIMESPRITE: THANK YOU KARTER-SAN
SKELANIMESPRITE: I AM VERY GOOD AT EXPLANING THINGS IN AN EASY MANNER

Karter wasted all the grist he had collected in alchemizing the most useless things, such as a double music player, which could play two songs at once, a comically large spoon from a Vone™ video he was particularly fond of, a box of anime-themed matchsticks, a tiny fork that rapped every time you got close to it, a cellphone rendered completely useless by the copious amount of USB ports on it, and a life-size replica of Konomuma from Rangandonpa™ fully-fitted with fur(?) and mechanical arms.
That was the most useless one yet, atleast the Laptop-shaped Buscemi poster showed what world-renown American actor and golden globe winner Steve Buscemi would look like if he were a laptop, but this isn’t about him.
No, it's the swaglord’s time to shine.

Chapter Text

Flame sunk his claws into the Imp’s neck, piercing the carapace and tearing through the flesh, the Imp cried in agony and thrashed its body, sending Flame flying off.
Ashton subconsciously equipped xyr Strife Specibus, Electricbowkind, and pulled back the bowstring and aimed xyr arrow, it all felt natural to xem.
With terrifying precision, the arrow flew through the air, leaving a bright trail behind it, and fell to the ground pathetically. With a frustrated sigh, xe tried to shoot another arrow, this time with more success. It tore through the air at terrifying speeds, electric arcs tearing through the snow and exploding into a brilliant flash of pure light.

Flame retreated just in time to avoid the electric blast, landing in the snow with a soft thud.

GLAZE: blab! (are you okay?)
FLAME: mb….mbhph...bh… (yeph… imbh…. oay..)

The imp fell down the ground a burnt husk, exploding into an impressive pile of grist and other substances Ash had never seen before. Xe approached the imposing bounty xe had rightfully earned and picked it up. A counter somewhere clicked with each increasing number, eventually reaching a grand total of 24901 GRIST.
Flame dug himself out of his snowy cover, his own scales now fluorescent with orange light, they were hot to the touch.

ASHTON: huh, that was easy
ASHTON: i dont see what the problem was
GLAZE: bapth!! (that’s because flame weakened it!)
FLAME: bahp… (dont worry about it, let xem have this...)

Glaze nudged her fellow dragon with her snout and helped him recover from his sudden landing, brushing snow off his face with her slightly smaller clawed paw.
The thick cloud that had settled after the imp’s death slowly dissolved, revealing an odd monolith Ash hadn’t noticed in the heat of battle.

A large green pillar imposingly stood before xem, mysterious carvings were scrawled all over it. It looked ancient, as if thousands and thousands of years had passed since able hands intricately carved symbols and signs into the rock.
Ash felt a wet snout at xyr feet, Glaze was nudging xem towards the pillar.

ASHTON: hm?

Upon closer inspection, the monolith had a symbol xe strangley recognised.
Xe swore xe had never seen something of the sort - odd spirals and curves resembling a face - not even in xyr dreams.
The dragon though, continued nudging xem, it was trying to tell xem something, obviously, xe just couldn’t quite understand what.
The monolith responded with a low, resonating hum as xe touched it, it sent a powerful feeling through xem, a feeling of hatred, of anger, of seething rage.
Xe pulled xyr hand back as if the pillar were scolding hot, it didn’t feel right; the emotions that surged through xem were painful, no one wants to feel hatred, no one wants to feel pure, seething anger in their veins.
And yet, a part of Ash liked it, a part of Ash indulged in the sensation of hatred seething through xyr bones. It was addictive.

A small stone square was situated around the base of the monolith, it had a handprint carved into it. Ash’s hand fit perfectly. The rock plate depressed and filled the monolith with a bright purple light.

GLAZE: bbba!!! (its really xem!)
FLAME: baabahbr!! (this is exciting!)
GLAZE: wawer bahru? (what will Water think?)
FLAME: pthb abth… (i hope she doesn’t get angry…)
GLAZE: bahpth ba? (why would she?)
FLAME: sbthath. (you know her)

Ash watched the two dragons blabber between each other. Xe swore xe would learn xyr language one day, not today, though, today xe had much more in store.
After watching the pillar’s fanfare for a couple of minutes, it settled down and let out one, final hum. It was stronger than the rest, it lingered in the air around them.
Flame grabbed Ashton by xyr sleeve and pulled xem along through Glaze’s icy domain.

A deafening roar tore through the sky, shaking the trees and making the clouds swirl high above, a dark silhouette blotted out the sun, rain bucketed down.
Ashton noticed the two dragons seemed wide-eyed, they were scared, something big was coming.
With a devastating gust of wind, a dragon circa the size of Flame landed on her hind legs, her wings spread out wide, the rain got stronger.

ASHTON: holy shit
ASHTON: you see that?
ASHTON: what an entrace!
FLAME: ...
GLAZE: ...
WATER: BABH! (YOU!)

The dragon’s voice boomed through the forest, her claws curled, she bared her fangs.

ASHTON: who are you?
WATER: PBTHABTH!? (WHY ARE YOU HERE!?)
FLAME: abth… (xe’s our lord)
WATER: BABAPAH!! (XE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!!)
GLAZE: pba- (actuall-)
WATER: BAH! (SHUT UP!)
ASHTON: what is going on
ASHTON: am i like in the middle of something

Ashton felt xemself fall to the ground as the newly-arrived dragon pounced onto xem, the snow cushioned xyr fall, but the weight on xyr shoulders pinned xem down.
At this distance, Ash could make out all of the intricate details on the dragon’s face, thousands of small scars populated her face, faded aqua teeth and dark blue gums, large fins on the sides of her head, and a familiar symbol, branded onto her neck. Must’ve hurt.
She narrowed her eyes and studied Ashton’s features, from xyr hair to xyr eyes.
After an awkward staredown by the dragoness, Ash pushed her off and scampered to xyr feet, pulling out xyr strife specibus and pointing the arrow at point-blank range straight between her eyes.

ASHTON: oh fuck
ASHTON: what do you want?!
WATER: bpath (you aren’t the lord)
ASHTON: you can babble as much as you want i wont understand you
WATER: ...
ASHTON: now back off
ASHTON: and leave us alone
WATER: babpth (I’ll see you)

Water flapped her wings and left, she didn’t even seem phased by the arrow pointed straight at her snout, as if this had happened before.
The paw prints she left quickly vanished in the rain, along with the strong smell of fish she had bought with her.
Xe stared at the dragons, the dragons stared at xem.

Now what?

Glaze spread out her wings and flew up over the trees, Flame followed her, Ash could hear their distant babbling high above, they seemed to be arguing.
After a couple of minutes of bickering, Flame descended onto Ash and grabbed xyr arm, dragging xem along through the snow and trees.

ASHTON: woah where are we going
FLAME: bapth (to meet others)
ASHTON: ok?
ASHTON: do you really need to- ow! pull so hard?!
FLAME: bahbahph!!! (hurry up!!!)

Flame escorted Ashton through the forest with such haste that Ash couldn’t count the number of times xe got hit in the face by a stray branch.
Eventually, xe emerged into a large opening. The snow here had melted, the dirt under Ash’s feet felt wet, mushy, every step xe took made xem sink a little deeper into the ground.

Ash noticed two other dragons standing in front of xem, they were staring at each other menacingly, growling.
In a burst of furious energy, they pounced onto each other and wrestled onto the wet soil. From the ground, long, slender vines wrapped around the darker-scaled dragon and threw them to the side, slamming them into a tree.

FLAME: bapth! (stop!)
FLORA: graagh! Bahpth bap! (Flame! Stay out of this!)
ASHTON: holy shit
ASHTON: that dragon just got owned
FLAME: baghhg… (this is a mess…)

After some more senseless bickering, the fighting stopped, the two combatants kept looking at eachother with malicious intent, like school children.

FLAME: baghth bah? (Why were you two fighting?)
FLORA: bapth, bagthrah (its all falling apart flame)
FLAME: gapth bab! (look! I have xem with me! We can still fix this!)
TOXIN: pthabth (theres nothing TO fix flame)
TOXIN: abghbah (Water can handle it on her own)
FLORA: ghabg! Bah! (She can’t! Did you even see what happened to Eclipse?)

Ash’s eyelids felt heavy, xe hadn’t slept in a while and listening to small dragons babble with each other isn't exactly the most entertaining thing one could do in a magical realm they had just been transported to.
I would tell you the rest of the conversations Ash’s consorts had, but I’d rather not subject my readers to hours upon hours and hours of babbling which took me upwards of thirty hours to translate all only to find out that basically none of the information was useful or even interesting, in that case.
In fact, I don’t even know why these adorable little creatures speak in such a way? Why do I have to tell all of you the babbling part? I mean, I started writing all the “bah”’s and “pbth”’s thinking “Oh, maybe it’ll be a fun immersive experience that’ll get the readers hooked and get them entranced into this magical world I’m telling them about!” My god, I was so naive.

Oh dear, look at me ramble. I apologise for that, here you are, lying down before me, probably glaring at me as if I had gone off on some tangent which, admittedly, I did. Let's get back on track.

Ashton woke up with a snout in xyr face, deja-vu.
The wet dirt around xem had kept xyr clothes uncomfortably moist. Xe could feel the dirt and grime that had soaked into xyr shirt rub against xyr skin with each movement xe made. I need to change.
Flame pulled Ash up and escorted xem through some more forest, it all seemed repeating to xem. Over and over, the same trees, the same snow, the same sinking feeling inside xyr soul. Xyr head was throbbing, was xe dreaming? Maybe xe was dead, maybe all of this was just xyr brain’s desperate attempt to cling onto the last remnants of life. Xe liked to believe xe had lived a good life.

Xe new xe didn’t though. Xe liked to deceive xemself, to convince xemself that everything is okay or that everything will eventually fix itself or that the universe actually thinks it's on xyr side or that maybe, just maybe if xe closes xyr eyes tightly enough everything will go away, but that's not the case. It never is. And xe knows it.
All of the hope xe had for the universe being even the slightest bit kind to xem left ever since xe had spilt xyr first drop of blood.
Xe was glad xe ran away as soon as possible.
That was no way to treat a child.

Xe wasn’t dead though. That would’ve been easy.
This isn’t a story about adventure, this isn’t a story about three kids playing a game together. I lied to you, and you should get used to it. This Isn’t a game, this is living hell. And trust me when I tell you that it's only going to go downhill from here.

The rain stopped.

Chapter Text

The counter ticked… 4080 GRIST… 4090 GRIST… 4110 GRIST…
Zoey would be lying if she didn’t admit this murderous rampage of game-generated imps didn’t get to her head a tiny bit. The sheer euphoria of repeatedly plunging a frog-themed knife into a living being blinded her completely, even her sprite started to get worried.

ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- i think thats enough zoey! youre getting dirt all over you! ribbit!
ZOEY: yeah... i think youre right

Beads of sweat trickled down her forehead, her hands felt cramped; she decided to take a break. Her bed was completely unkempt, surprisingly, you would’ve expected someone of Zoey’s nature to keep everything perfectly organised, cleaned, dusted with little post-it notes on her desk to remind her of all the various errands she had to run that day, but her room was fairly normal, as normal as a completely normal girl’s room.
The walls were covered in posters and small white LED lights tightly hung from corner to corner. Through the window in her room, stray rays of light that managed to penetrate the thick canopy overhead streaked inside, projecting odd shapes onto her bed.
She threw herself onto the mattress and dug her hands into the woollen blanket, it smelt of lavender.

ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- Zoey! I think you have enough grist to make it to the first gate now! Ribbit!
ZOEY: mph
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- huh? ribbit?
ZOEY: im tirbed
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- tired? ribbit?
ZOEY: mph hmph
ZOEY: i just wanna rest for a bit
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- oh thats ok zoey! take all the time you need ribbit!
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- after, all there's nothing chasing us! ribbit!
ZOEY: yeah! youre rig-
ENDERFROGSPRITE: rib- yet! ribbit!
ZOEY: ...
ZOEY: yet?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- you cant stay here forever! ribbit!
ZOEY: what?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- you need to save this world! ribbit!
ZOEY: save it?
ZOEY: from what?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- your denizen! ribbit!
ZOEY: my what?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- your denizen! ribbit!
ZOEY: what is my denizen?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- can't say! ribbit!
ZOEY: why not?!
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- i just cannot! ribbit!
ZOEY: uhm... okay
ZOEY: what does it want? can you tell me that at least?
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- it wants to rule this land and all its inhabitants! ribbit!
ZOEY: thats horrible!
ZOEY: where can i find my denizen?!
ENDERFROGSPRITE: ribb- i dont know! ribbit!
ZOEY: oh... alright
ZOEY: thanks!

She wanted to close her eyes and fall asleep, into a deep slumber. Disconnect herself from the world for a couple of hours and forget about everything that had just happened, it overwhelmed her, running away from meteors, almost drowning, and killing imps for weird blue rocks which disappeared when you touched them. All of these things you wouldn't usually do in a day.
Her laptop screen lit up with a notification, it was Karter.

-- [OI] overzealousImpulse began pestering [IH] irritableHermit at 22:04 --

IH: sup zo!! 🤩
OI: hey karter!
OI: how are you?
IH: im doin good 😉😉
IH: these tiktaaliks are so swag 🤙
OI: tiktaaliks?
IH: my swaglings 🤙🤙🤙
OI: swaglings?
IH: yeah!! 😝
OI: neat!
IH: how are you though? 🤔
OI: im good!
OI: its really really pretty here
OI: oh wait! let me send an image!

-- [OI] overzealousImpulse sent a file --

IH: yooooo
IH: those trees look swag!!! 🤩🤩
OI: yeah! theyre sooo pretty!
IH: hold up lemme seng a lil smth smth too 😏😏

-- [IH] irritableHermit sent a file --

OI: WOAH!!!
OI: TIKTAALIKS LOOK SO COOl!
IH: sghfskg
OI: ??
IH: sorry the tiktaalik tried to type 😒
IH: they say you're pretty too
IH: which is true ahaha 😏😉😝
OI: awh... thanks!
OI: but i think all those gems are way prettier!
IH: whatever you say 🙄🙄
OI: oh! uhm, have you heard from ash?
IH: no
OI: maybe i can try and message xem?
IH: i think xe is dealing with xyr own things, maybe you should leave xem alone? 🤔
OI: im still gonna leave xem a message!
IH: fine
OI: anyway i would love to see that cave in person one day!
OI: it looks so pretty!
IH: hell yeah, its spectacular 🤩🤩
OI: do you think there's any way i can come and visit your land?
OI: im already getting a bit lonely here
IH: damn 😔
IH: ill ask my sprite
IH: ok
IH: they said you gotta reach the second gate
IH: so you go to your host player's land...
OI: your host player...
OI: that would be ash!
IH: it would 😒
OI: and my host player... would be you!
IH: YOOO
IH: LETS GOOOO 🤩🤩🤩🤩
OI: hehehe
IH: damn i cant wait to see you!!! and all those trees aswell
OI: yeah! id love to see your world in person too!
IH: hell yeah 😝
IH: you would love it here
OI: it looks sooo sweet!
IH: yeah, but not as sweet as my last rap 🎧🎵🎵
IH: have you heard it? 🤔🤔
OI: uhm
OI: yeah!
IH: what did you think? 🤔🤔🤔
OI: it was really cool!
OI: really... karter-y
IH: bet
IH: my flow is the freshest in the world 😝
IH: no one can beat me im untouchable 😤
OI: hehe
OI: uhm anyway! i think i might go now!
IH: alright 👋
IH: send pics if you know what i mean ahaha 😏😏
OI: i will!
OI: ok, byeee! 😝
IH: see ya, zo! 😝😝

-- [OI] overzealousImpulse ceased pestering [IH] irritableHermit at 22:25 --

Zoey felt slightly happier after that interaction, Karter always managed to cheer her up.
Ashton still hadn’t responded to her message, so she decided to reach the first gate.
She closed her pesterlog window and returned to the sburb menu, from where she could start building.

After a couple of minutes of figuring out how exactly the building mechanics worked and swearing under her breath but also saying sorry one moment after, she managed to build a relatively stable staircase up to the first gate.
She thought the climb would’ve been easy, but she failed to realise just how high up the first gate was.
By the time she reached about halfway up the staircase, she felt her feet get cold and palms get sweaty. Even though there was not a trace of wind in her world, she felt as if something were pushing her closer and closer to the edge.

The gate was just in reach, one more step Zoey, you’re almost there.
Clenching her fists, she pushed forward and leapt headfirst into the gate. A warm light surrounded her, she felt at home for a moment, sitting next to a fireplace, a jar of warm coco in her hands and the soothing sound of winter rain outside beating on the roof, drowning out the outside world and leaving Zoey alone, in a blissful moment.

She woke up lying on the cold muddy ground, a cool sensation brushed against her ankles. Her ears and eyes slowly adjusted to the ambient around her.
The soothing sound of a stream slowly invaded her mind, along with the gentle rustling of the leaves and the chatter of birds.
Zoey pushed herself up and brushed the dirt off her arms and overalls, she always admired nature but hated getting dirty, along with insects, and ants, she hated them with a passion.

The forest around her was beautiful, she couldn’t stop looking at the little smudges of blue sky that pierced through the canopy over her, sunbeam cut through the dark green backdrop like butter, a cool, refreshing breeze swept through the trees, running over Zoey’s skin, caressing each pore. She took a deep breath, fresh, forest air invaded her lungs, she felt invigorated, energy surged through her veins.
She took in the scenery for a couple more moments before finally deciding to explore a little further. But that's when it dawned on her, no good adventurer explorers a new land without a killer soundtrack to back them up! Luckily, Zoey had just the thing.

She opened her Musicfy™ app and selected a special file she had been sent.
The music started, rhythmic percussion followed by an electronic keyboard.

♫ Yuh okay okay got them in a trance ♫

Zoey turned the volume up on her phone and tucked it into her overall’s pocket, Karter’s voice accompanied Zoey through the thick vegetation and odd mossy stone statues that decorated the forests’ undergrowth.
She stumbled upon various strange structures during her exploration, structures you wouldn’t usually find in such a place. Massive, overgrown chapels imposingly stood amongst the trees, the grey stone which once held up a large structure for who knows what sorts of inhabitants now reclaimed by nature herself. Various vines and moss clumps climbed up towards the sky, trying to escape the rocky walls they found themselves on.
Inside said chapels, long overgrown railroads weaved and turned, barely visible under the thick layers of moss and leaves.

♫ With all this glowing jewlery ♫

She followed one of these railroads for a while, stumbling upon a myriad of other structures similar to the stone chapel she had seen before. Tall, winding towers with impossibly tall spiral staircases pierced through the canopy, stone statues of what she later identified as ant eats decorated each building in a very… organic matter.
The railroad she followed eventually ended at the end of a damp tunnel, the only thing lighting up the inside was the light from the sun reflecting off of the shallow stream that ran directly underneath her feet. She asked herself what possible reason tracks of this sort would be used, they weren’t thin enough to be for a minecart, but she couldn’t imagine any sort of locomotive running through such tight spaces but these questions were minuscule compared to the bigger glaring question she had found herself asking.

♫ I go by different names so I call that ambiguity ♫

She had noticed that in most of the structures she had found, a locked door sealed a surprisingly intact room. The door didn't budge, and any damage the door took seemingly vanished instantly as if some sort of magical seal protected it. She tried to pick the lock to the best of her abilities (which weren’t very advanced when it came to lockpicking) without any luck.
She even tried to ask her sprite which reluctantly admitted that not even they knew what secrets these doors held.

♫ Thots in my arms after I’m done spitting bars ♫

Zoey sat down on a log and scrolled through her messages, Ash still hadn’t responded, she started to grow worried, but a sudden turn of events made her completely forget about Ash.
A small, faded green creature approached her cautiously, its long, slender tongue moving as if it had a life of its own.
She immediately recognised that tongue, it was the perfect construct of nature made for one thing and one thing only, eating ants.

♫ I’d kiss a dude but only to prove a point ♫

The anteater stared at Zoey with its small beady eyes, it nudged her knee with its nose and sniffed her hand.

ZOEY: oh hello!

The anteater got up on its hind legs and put its paws next to Zoey, she giggled and helped it up.
It rested its head on her side for a moment, before quickly getting up and nudging her leg.

ZOEY: what is it?

It persisted, pawing at her as if it wanted her to follow it.
Zoey obliged and got up, taking her phone out of her pocket as Karter's rap came to an end.

♫ I’m not gay but I don’t disappoint ayyy!!♫

The track slowly faded out, leaving a moment of silence before an intrusive Musicfy™ advertisement ruined the mood

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She let out a long sigh before returning her attention to the anteater at her feet. It brought her through familiar and unfamiliar paths. At one point she spotted a small wooden hut with a little light inside, she wanted to explore but she didn’t want to stop following the anteater, where ever it was bringing her, it must’ve been something important.

The anteater stopped in front of a large cave, the railroad they had been following seemed to disappear into the darkness of the cave, this was the first time she had seen something in this land that wasn’t even the slightest big lit up. The darkness that shrouded it was almost palpable, the rich, dense feeling of total and utter obscurity was familiar to Zoey, it invaded her mind every time she was alone, her brain couldn’t stop, thought after thought after thought piled up, each of them her own personal hell. She wanted to cry so badly, she wanted to dig her fingernails into her face until she couldn’t feel anything anymore.

But she didn’t. And she admired that part of her.
She didn’t let this side of her come to light, its what kept her two feet on the ground, its what kept her head straight, she just kept on smiling, kept on telling herself that everything will be okay. Because it will be, won’t it?

Zoey gripped her knife and slowly entered the cave, the anteater followed close behind.
A cold, chilling wave of air swept over them, the dripping of water echoed through the cave’s infinitely long corridors, an electrifying spark ran down her spine. She was scared, but excited.

ZOEY: BRING IT ON!

Chapter Text

Salty sea air brushed against Karter’s rough skin, the sour aftertaste of the ocean air invaded his throat. The sea waves crashed at his feet, occasionally splashing up into his face, the first gate was just in reach, and after hours upon hours of building and the slaughtering of imps, it was about damn time.
With his trusty Tiktaalik swagling trailing close behind, Karter stepped off of the bridge and set foot on the uneven, rocky surface of the second grotto. The new landscape before him was drenched in a soft, blue glow, the ceiling had a surprising absence of crystals, everything felt more barren in there as if it had been stripped clean.
In the middle of the grotto, an equally blue spirograph hovered in the air, probably the origin of the celestial glow.

The Tiktaalik that had accompanied him throughout his long, arduous journey which wasn't really all that long or arduous dove head-first into the gate, disappearing into a brilliant flash.
A small group of imps had begun to form around the edge of the bridge, their snarls were barely audible over the sound of the crashing waves echoing through the cavern.
Karter took a deep breath and dove head-first into the gate.

He was enveloped by a cold jarring feeling as if he were just thrown into a pool of ice-cold water, the rushing sensation of freefalling swept through him, he was nowhere, but everywhere.
The Thief landed with a thud on a soft mattress-like surface, the air around him felt oppressive, air barely reached his lungs, he couldn’t orientate himself.

TIKTAALIK: Hey!
TIKTAALIK: Wake up!
TIKTAALIK: what the hell?
KARTER: wh...
KARTER: why are there two of you?
KARTER: oh god how hard did i hit my head
TIKTAALIK: Are you hurt?
TIKTAALIK: i can help!

The other Tiktaalik scampered onto Karter and climbed up his head, sticking its questionable snout into his hair and looking for any wounds.

KARTER: what the fuck?! get off me!
TIKTAALIK: ok nothing here!
TIKTAALIK: no injuries!
TIKTAALIK: Perfect! You're all good!
TIKTAALIK: good! perfect! excellent!
TIKTAALIK: Good! Amazing!
KARTER: okay uh so where am i exactly

Karter looked around where he had landed so unceremoniously, it was a large, open cave. All around the walls, small huts were built with long rope ladders streaming down onto the ground.
Various multi-coloured Tiktaaliks populated the vast cavern, each of them doing something different, either loitering in the large open space Karter assumed was a plaza, or standing behind a stall, or scampering around mindlessly and diving into a large pool of pitch-black water, an endless abyss swallowing up anything and everything that dared to dive into it. Who knows how deep it was.
The Tiktaaliks escorted Karter to the village area before him, upon reaching a certain distance from the main square, an overwhelming smell of fish hit him like a truck.

KARTER: what is this place?
TIKTAALIK: welcome to one of our homes!
TIKTAALIK: You'll love it!
KARTER: it smells like fish
TIKTAALIK: do you like fish?
KARTER: eh
TIKTAALIK: That means yes!
TIKTAALIK: Get the Thief some fish!

Immediately upon request of the blue Tiktaalik, a myriad of various other multicoloured creatures got to work, each of them diving into the water in a seemingly choreographed dance.
Karter watched in awe as one by one, the Tiktaaliks rose from the abyssal waters and deposited all sorts of prehistoric-looking fish onto a large platter Karter swore wasn’t there before, decorated with all sorts of herbs, spices and sauces.
It smelt amazing, the scent of the fish mixed with the rich, passionate smell of all the various herbs caressed Karter’s nose, his mouth watered, aching for a taste.

KARTER: holy shit
KARTER: that looks dope
TIKTAALIK: Take a bite!
TIKTAALIK: You will love it!

Karter, noticing the lack of cutlery, decided to grab a chunk of the fish with his hand and take a big bite out of it. He expected an explosion of taste that would forever change his life, something that would transport him into a world of taste and passion. What he got, instead, was nothing.

The fish didn’t taste like anything, like, literally nothing. If paper tasted like something, it would taste like whatever the Tiktaaliks had prepared for their Theif.
He gagged and spat it out, wiping his fish-covered hands on his pants with a permanent “eugh” expression fixed on his face.

TIKTAALIK: he loved it!
TIKTAALIK: WOO!!
TIKTAALIK: LETS GOOO
KARTER: yeah
KARTER: this sucks ass

A deafening silence fell onto the innumerable crowd before him, they all stared at him. Second after excruciating second passed before one of them finally spoke up, shattering it.

TIKTAALIK: Oh!
TIKTAALIK: That sucks!
KARTER: ...
KARTER: do you have like, something else to eat?
TIKTAALIK: yes! we have all sorts of fish!
KARTER: okay but like, do you have anything that isn't fish?
TIKTAALIK: Salmon!
KARTER: no... thats fish
TIKTAALIK: It's salmon!
KARTER: salmon is a type of fish
TIKTAALIK: it is?
TIKTAALIK: Isn't it a type of salmon?
KARTER: wh
KARTER: what?
KARTER: what are you saying?
TIKTAALIK: We have salmon!
KARTER: yes i know
KARTER: but that is fish
TIKTAALIK: Oh I see! Fish is Salmon!
KARTER: yeah
KARTER: i guess
KARTER: but youre mixing them up
TIKTAALIK: So fish isn't Salmon?
KARTER: no, it is
KARTER: but switch it around
KARTER: salmon is fish
TIKTAALIK: woah! really?!
TIKTAALIK: Wow!
TIKTAALIK: Another piece of valuable information from the Thief himself!
KARTER: ok why are you calling me a thief
TIKTAALIK: its what you are!
KARTER: what? i haven't stolen anything
TIKTAALIK: The Thief! The Thief!
KARTER: ok i give up
KARTER: im tired

Karter pushed those thoughts aside and got up from the failed banquet, trying his best to get rid of the non-taste of fish in his mouth.
Upon exploring the rest of the village and having some unforgettable conversations with some Tiktaaliks and entering their houses unannounced RPG-style, he decided he needed a refresher, something exciting, something to get the blood in his veins flowing.
And the universe responded.

A loud crash echoed through the massive cavernous halls, they sound hung heavy in the air as the Tiktaaliks scampered into their respective homes, leaving the place virtually empty.
The towering mega-imp invaded the village, sinking its claws into the stone and bundling up large pieces of rubble, ready to be thrown and cause excessive amounts of damage.

The Thief emerged from one of the houses and stood daringly before the beast, its large foxtail sweeping the ground, left and right, in a rhythmic motion, the sailor moon dress still the most distracting and outright ridiculous part of the imps whole outfit.
It glared at Karter and growled deeply, any louder at it would’ve shaken the whole cave. They stared at each other for a couple of seconds before finally moving in to attack, Karter kept low and ran head-first towards the Imp, while it simply stood there, waiting for Karter to run straight into it, as he did.
With a thunk Karter slammed his head against the Imp’s leg, falling to the ground on his back and gasping for air.

KARTER: oh fuc-

In a second of confusion Karter found himself floating in the air, two glowing arms were holding him up, he could smell the intoxicating scent of a freshly-opened vinyl figurine wrap around him, was it who he thought it was who had just saved him from being launched into the air by a ten-foot imp probably with several broken ribs and internal organ damage? Yeah, it was.

SKELANIMESPRITE: HELLO KARTER-SAN
KARTER: its you
SKELANIMESPRITE: YES IT IS!
KARTER: thanks for saving me by the way
SKELANIMESPRITE: NO PROBLEM KARTER-SAN!
SKELANIMESPRITE: ITS MY JOB AFTER ALL!
KARTER: yeah it was pretty fuckin sugoi
SKELANIMESPRITE: IT WAS SUGOI?!
KARTER: yeah, totally
SKELANIMESPRITE: SUGOI!!!!!!
KARTER: anyway uh
KARTER: can you help me kill that imp
KARTER: i don't think this knife will cut it
KARTER: aha
KARTER: some knife humor there
SKELANIMESPRITE: EXTREMELY SUGOI KARTER-SAN!
KARTER: ok but seriously how do i kill it
SKELANIMESPRITE: LEAVE IT TO ME!

The sprite dropped Karter off next to a hut where a Tiktaalik was waiting for him, wide-eyed with fear.
A flash of brilliant blue light that momentarily lit up every crease and crack in the cave walls, leaving a small pile of dust where the imp used to stand.

KARTER: holy shit
KARTER: that was fucking SWAG
KARTER: youre that powerful?!
SKELANIMESPRITE: YES!

Karter reaped the rewards of the imp’s defeat and looked at the top left, where an imaginary grist counter right now was rocketing sky-high with tons and tons of grist to use to alchemize useless objects.
Slowly, the Tiktaaliks trickled out of their homes like water and looked up at Karter, some in hope, some in joy, some in excitement.

TIKTAALIK: Our Thief saved us!
TIKTAALIK: yes! our thief!
TIKTAALIK: Yes! Yes!
KARTER: oh- yeah i absolutely destroyed it
KARTER: all by my self
TIKTAALIK: he even summoned a beam from the sky!
TIKTAALIK: He stole it from the sky!
TIKTAALIK: like a thief!
KARTER: uh
KARTER: sure

He pushed this whole “Thief” thing aside and decide to head back home, following the path he had taken from the smaller cave before arriving face to face with the gate. After a short and extremely disorientating trip, he found himself lying down on the cold hard stone in front of his house, home sweet home.

What a journey, from differently coloured Tiktaaliks to a massive Imp to almost flying into the air in a million fractured bone pieces to being saved by a floating anime sprite which can shoot death rays at will.
A low, guttural growl shook through the cave, he expected another imp to crawl up from the abyssal waters and challenge him and his anime death machine once again. But what he got was much, much worse.

The waves outside Karter's cave began getting stronger, they slammed on the rocks with brutal violence, white foam painting the cavern in a thick viscous cover before dispersing under the intense waves.
Something was on the move, something large, something dangerous. It had all been too peaceful ever since he had entered his land.

The Denizen is here. Run.