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It’s 7:15am and already the explosions have begun.
“Is it the Fourth of July again already?” I mutter to myself, rubbing sleep out of my face. Hey, it was a Saturday and there was no need for me to awake at this time. Grabbing my phone off the bedside table, I see the date is the First of August. What the heck?
Sitting up, my head almost brushes the ceiling. Plus what the heck? Rubbing more sleep out of my eyes, the bedroom looks familiar but it certainly isn’t mine. Where the double-plus heck am I. Yeah, I partied last night and I remember there were some strangely short people around, but …
My train of thought is interrupted by another round of explosions, this time accompanied by maniacal laughter. I can’t stand full height in this room, so I walk on my knees over to the window, yanking it open, and sticking my head out to yell at whomever is doing this.
And what do my wondering eyes espy? Tis Crazy Harry, that Muppet pyro guy.
Double-plus what the hecking heck?
“I’m in Muppet Land?”
“Yes, I am afraid you are,” the stuffy voice of Sam the Eagle replied. He was sticking his head out of a window from a room that I guessed was down the hall from me. “You are in Muppet Land and I would like to apologize for the strange and shocking shenanigans that happen in this place.” Shaking his head, he retreated into his room.
In keeping with Muppet values, I apparently slept in my clothes so there was no need for me to get dressed before I carefully fled my room and went downstairs. I found Kermit the Frog in what seemed to be this place’s common room. He just stared at me.
“Well?” I asked. “How did I get here?”
Kermit just shook his head and said, “That’s none of my business,” and went back to sipping his tea.