Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1: Light reading

        Josuke gulped as he looked up at the house in front of him. The clean white walls, pink trim, and pale green shingles did little to mask the intimidating aura that seemed to waft from every darkened window. The quaint sign swinging silently in front of the house seemed so normal compared to what was inside. He really didn’t like being here alone. But hell, his invitation was the first time since they’d met that Rohan had been even slightly polite to him. It was worrying, but he would never forgive himself if he didn’t indulge his curiosity. So there he was, standing before the Manga artist’s house, school bag still in hand. No longer than 20 minutes he had said. Right after school. That’s it. Nothing to worry about. And besides, Josuke had the benefit of being best friends with Koichi. Rohan couldn’t do a damn thing, not if he wanted his precious reference he couldn’t.

        “Could you stop standing in my yard like an idiot, you’re lowering the property value for the whole neighborhood.” The cold voice cut through Josuke’s train of thought like a knife, the insult making him grit his teeth. Oh great. It was him. Josuke looked over at the young man who waited for him at the door, as always dressed to the nines in his always strange fashion. Josuke rolled his eyes, cracking his neck a bit in final preparation for the frustration that was to come.

        “Fine fine, no need to be a jerk about it.” He complained, straightening his posture before Rohan could make fun of that as well. He climbed the stairs, keeping his eyes off of Rohan as best he could until he was inside the man’s house. He looked around, taking in the interior. In the year he and Rohan have known each other, he couldn’t say he’d been inside his house more than a few times. And honestly, he had planned on keeping it that way. But Rohan inviting him over alone, well it didn’t exactly bode well for his plans. He heard the door close behind him, a chill creeping down his spine as Rohan walked around him, pointing up the stairs. No matter how long he knew him, Rohan would never be any less creepy.

        “Come on. We can talk in my studio.” He huffed, walking stiffly up the stairs. It seemed he didn’t like this very much either. Somehow that made Josuke both more and less confident. On one hand, it didn’t seem like he was going to murder him. On the other, if even he wasn’t happy about this then there was little chance Josuke would be either. It didn’t take them long to reach the top of the stairs, Rohan pulling open the door to his studio and gracefully making his way over to his desk chair, dramatically taking a seat. Across from it was another chair which he motioned haphazardly for Josuke to sit in. Josuke gulped, hoping for the best as he sat down across from the Manga artist.

        “Alright, listen. If I could go to anybody else about this I would but unfortunately, all I’m left with is you.” Rohan started, glaring into the high schoolers’ eyes.

        “Wow, thanks.” Josuke grumbled, crossing his arms.

        “Look, I’ve run into some problems in studying Koichi. And many other stand users in this town for that matter. No matter what, everything always boils down to the fight you had with Kira.”

        “What?” Josuke interrupted, his stomach immediately dropping into his shoes. He hadn’t heard that name in quite a while. In an instant everything came flooding back. All the feelings that had been harboring themselves in his mind since that day, seeping their way into his dreams and waiting to strike at him again. He felt his chest tighten. No, not here. Not now. He took a deep, shaky breath. Not in front of him.

        “Yes. It seems everyone I’ve ‘interviewed’ has had some sort of stake in it. Myself included. And yet not one person knows what really happened. And since Jotaro already made me promise that I wouldn’t track down Hayato until he was older, the only complete first-hand account I can get is yours.” Rohan continued, leaning back in his chair. Josuke was still having trouble breathing but did his best to play it off, hoping that Rohan couldn’t see him sweat.

        “B-but why now, huh? It’s been so long since then, I don’t understand how this could be relevan-“

        “It’s only been a year, and it’s relevant because it’s been tainting the minds of everyone involved. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from practicing with my stand this past year it’s that context is king. And if I’m going to keep running into the backlash of this, then I want to know what happened. And if somehow, someway Hayato was right and I did die...” Rohan’s fist clenched, knuckles turning white as he gritted his teeth. “I need to know.” 

        Josuke’s mind raced. This was all too much. He had never liked the idea of Rohan picking around in his head, but for so long now he had been insisting that it was fine. That he didn’t care anymore. That what happened wasn’t as serious as everyone made it out to be, that he didn’t still get nightmares about the catlike enemy he faced, the near-death explosions he had been subjected to, seeing Okuyasu... Yeah, that didn’t haunt him anymore. He was fine. He had nothing more to hide. He just had to prove it. Maybe then Jotaro would stop treating him like some broken kid. He stiffened up, doing his best to lean into this new, not anxiety-ridden train of thought. What did it matter anyway? It’s not like he cared, he had won. There was nothing to be afraid of anymore. And it’s not like there was anything else he was hiding. He was already an open book, what was the problem with making that literal? He wasn’t afraid. It was all fine. If Rohan wanted to read, he could read all he wanted. There was nothing that he could find that Josuke hadn’t already told people.

        “Fine. But don’t go around telling people about this, alright? My memories, my rules. And if I find out you wrote anything on me I’ll make sure Koichi never talks to you again, you hear? I’m not scared of you.” Josuke announced, crossing his arms defiantly. Rohan seemed shocked for a moment that he had actually said yes, a bit of begrudging admiration flashing in his eyes for just a moment before he stood up.

        “Good. Then we can start. Would you rather be awake or out for this?” He asked, rolling up the sleeves to his cropped jacket.

        “Out.” Josuke said, immediately regretting his decision. But he couldn’t back out now, his pride has just been challenged. He let up a silent prayer to whatever gods were listening that he wasn’t making a huge mistake again. At least he wouldn’t have to watch Rohan go through his thoughts and judge him for them.

        “Alright. Heaven’s door!”

        And suddenly the world went black.

~*~

        Josuke’s eyes fluttered open, the world around him coming in and out of focus as he got up, holding his head. The room around him looked somewhat darker, the window glowing a brilliant orange in the sunset. Before it, Rohan Kishibe paced back and forth, deep in thought. His face was twisted into a look of pure concentration and concern. Josuke’s eyes jumped from his face back to the window, his chest clenching. He said it would only take twenty minutes, how was it already sunset? And why did Rohan look so concerned?

        “W-What the hell happened? Why is it so late? Shit, I have homework tonight!” Josuke shouted, snatching up his bag from where it had fallen by his feet and grabbing his hair protectively as he whipped his head around to check if he was leaving anything behind.

        “I... just go. We can talk about this later... I need time to think.” Rohan mumbled, shooing him out the door to his studio.

        “Time to think? Talk about what? ROHAN!” Josuke shouted as the door slammed behind him. Part of him wanted to bang on the door and demand an explanation but considering how late it was and how worried his mother would get, he didn’t have the time. He rushed down the stairs, nearly tripping on his own feet in his mad dash for the door. He slammed it closed behind him, his heels skidding on the cool pavement as he promptly turned to run towards his house. His mind was racing even faster than his body, desperately searching for some sign of what the hell had happened. An enemy stand? No, if Rohan had fought someone off while Josuke was out he would have been bragging about it non stop for the next week and a half and hold it above him for the rest of his life. So it had to have been something he read. But what in the world could have taken him that long to read? And why did he look so upset? Somewhere deep in Josuke’s core, he heard the answer come to him as a whisper but quickly shoved it aside, refusing to even acknowledge the possibility. As he rounded yet another corner on the way home he suddenly found himself face to face with a familiar figure, bowling him over before he could quite see who it was. As the other man fell Josuke could feel his foot catch on their leg, dragging him down to the ground as well. He hit the pavement hard, his stand luckily saving him from smacking his face and hair but not preventing a massive hit to his arm that would likely end in a bruise. It was already stinging by the time he could process what the other person was trying to say.

        “J-Josuke? Wha’s wrong! Are you ok?” The questions came in rapid-fire, an immediately recognizable gravelly voice ringing out loud and clear in the quiet twilight. Josuke sat up, pulling his arm protectively to his chest as he turned to see his friend Okuyasu, staring at him with concern despite his own scraped and bleeding hands.

        “Yeah, sorry I didn’t see you there.” Josuke mumbled, instinctively reaching out with his crazy diamond to heal his best friend’s wounds. For a brief moment the thought of how Okuyasu was immediately more concerned for him than even himself crept into his mind, filling his chest with a warm tightness that he quickly did his best to push away. Okuyasu looked at his arm as his own wounds closed up, concern twisting his features.

        “Seriously Josuke, where were you? You said you’d only need a few minutes after school, but cha never came back, I was getting really worried, wuzit an enemy stand user?” He asked, leaning forward as he talked as though it was some secret the two of them could keep. Josuke sighed, doing his best to push all of the doubts and worries out of his mind again as he stood up, Okuyasu quickly following suit.

        “N-no, it’s fine. I just got caught up at Rohan's house-“

        “Rohan?” Okuyasu exclaimed, his fist clenching defensively. “The hell were you over there for? Did that bastard do somethin to you?” He asked with increasing anger, shoulders hunching over in a subconscious attempt to look threatening.

        “I... No. I don’t think so? Well I let him read from me and-“

        “You did WHAT?”

        “Yeah yeah I know but I didn’t think he would take so damn long, who knows what he was so riled up about, creepy bastard.” Josuke grumbled, grabbing at his injured arm protectively. Okuyasu paused, seeming to think for a moment.

        “W-well hey, knowing Rohan it was prob’ly just him finding somethin in there he can use, right? He gets weirdly excited about things, maybe he was just, happy it went well?” Okuyasu offered, trying his best to comfort his friend, and most likely himself.

        “Yeah... yeah sure.” Josuke agreed, more to convince himself than in actual agreement. But hell, that explanation was far more comforting than anything he could come up with.

        “W-well I should probably go call Koichi, I called ‘im earlier to tell him you were missing and he may have gotten a little freaked out.” Okuyasu mentioned, smiling nervously at his friend.

        “Oh, yeah. I should head home too, my mom won’t be happy I’m so late.” Josuke mentioned, clutching his bag tighter as he prepared to walk the remaining block or so to his house.

        “Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you home? ‘S not that far-“ He frowned disappointedly as Josuke shook his head. 

        “I’m fine, you go call Koichi.” Josuke assured him. Okuyasu seemed disappointed but respected his decision, sighing as he put a hand on Josuke’s shoulder. 

        “Don’t worry, ok? If he did anything to you, I’ll beat the shit out of him with ya. Ok?” Okuyasu asked, flashing a wide, reassuring smile at Josuke. He chuckled a bit, unable to stop his friend’s smile from infecting him as well.

        “Of course man. See ya!” He called back to him, the two parting ways and heading towards their respective houses. But as soon as he heard the rickety old door to Okuyasu’s house close he felt the anxiety start to creep back in. Whatever Rohan had to think about, it couldn’t be as good as Okuyasu could somehow make it sound.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2: Denial, it ain’t just a river in Egypt

        “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Koichi asked, crossing his arms defensively.

        “What, you’re the one here who’s supposedly his friend.” Josuke retorted. “Don’t you have any faith in him?”

        “Well I do, but I also know how much you two don’t get along. If you had told me he invited you in the first place I would have told you not to go but this? This is just weird.” Koichi admitted, shaking his head at the floor.

        “Hey, we don’t have anything to worry about, right? I’ll be there as backup and if I hear anythin even slightly suspicious I’ll jump in and crush him!” Okuyasu declared, smiling deviously at the idea of being able to beat the shit out of someone.

        “Okuyasu no! That may just make it worse, and we can’t just go beating up our friends like that!”

        “Your friend more like.” Josuke corrected, arms crossed defiantly.

        “Look, this whole situation is a mess. I don’t want to think he’ll attack you but well, this is all too weird. Just, be careful. And don’t sick Okuyasu on him too quickly. Maybe he really just wants to talk.” Koichi suggested, trying his best to defend his friend while still being rational.

        'Hey, ya don’t have to talk about me like I’m some dog.” Okuyasu muttered, sulking a bit as Josuke finally stood up, stretching his legs as he waited for his friends to join him.

        “Alright. Grab your water and let’s go. I don’t wanna get chewed out for being late.” Josuke muttered, his nerves still frayed as he did his best to look casually back into the Sun Mart they had been squatting in front of. He half considered giving in to the urge to head inside and find something to distract himself with as an excuse not to go. Okuyasu quickly complied, grabbing his water and hopping up, Koichi scrambling to his feet to join them.

        “Just be careful, ok?”

        “Yeah yeah, you too. I know that study dates with Yukako can go sour quick.” Josuke mentioned, clapping a hand on his shoulder for good luck.

        “Yeah, good luck with that buddy.” Okuyasu chimed in. Koichi just rubbed his neck, laughing nervously.

        “Well hey, she gets results, right? See you guys later!” He called, waving goodbye and then starting off towards Yukako’s house. Josuke shook his head as he watched him go, turning to Okuyasu.

        “I don’t know which to be more surprised about, the fact they’ve lasted this long as a couple or the fact she hasn’t killed him yet.” Josuke lamented, shaking his head. “Alright, come on. We don’t wanna keep Rohan waiting.”

        Okuyasu nodded, a fairly nervous look on his face that he quickly hid with a smile.

        “You sure? We could just go to Tonio’s and ditch him entirely? He just got his weekly supplies in so everything should be even more fresh than usual today!” Okuyasu mentioned, doing his best to lure his friend with the promise of good food as their walk began.

        “Please, if we blew off Rohan for Tonio he would probably have our heads.” Josuke laughed, feeling the weight of his anxiety ebbing away as they continued to talk, Okuyasu rambling about how his cooking lessons were going and how Tonio had been helping him build up his spice tolerance with Josuke praising him intermittently for his progress. He had almost completely forgotten their destination until they reached it, too caught up in Okuyasu’s conversation to even notice where they were until he caught a glimpse of the house out of the corner of his eye. His chest immediately clamped up, his lungs instinctively taking in a sharp breath in response. Okuyasu’s face immediately twisted into a worried look, putting his hand lightly on the other man’s shoulder.

        “Hey, are you... ok? I wasn’t kiddin’ about ditching and going to Tonio’s...” Okuyasu said, his voice low and soft. Josuke felt a shiver run up his spine but immediately shook it off.

        “No, it’s fine! There’s nothing to be worried about, I’ll just go in, listen to his crazy ramblings, then get out. It’ll be fine!” He announced, forcing a laugh. Okuyasu put a hand on his chest, stopping him from moving for a second.

        “‘S ok to be nervous.” He said, his voice still low, it’s perpetual roughness almost making it sound like the purr of a cat. Josuke felt his heart skip a beat, his chest beginning to heat up again before he finally forced it away, shaking his head to clear out the thought. He pulled away from his friend, about to go back to his usual ‘nothing’s wrong’ spiel but stopping himself. It didn’t feel right to lie to him again, not when he was so concerned. Finally, he spoke.

        “I’ll be alright.” He assured him, his voice much softer than before. Okuyasu still looked concerned but smiled supportively.

        “Alright. But I’m ready to break in the second he tries anything funny.” Okuyasu threatened, smiling widely when his friend reciprocated with a smile and a laugh.

        “Alright. See ya in a sec.” He said, climbing the front steps feeling a little more confident than before. But that all changed when before he could reach the door it opened in front of him, the inky darkness inside the house making him shiver a bit. He gulped, looking back at Okuyasu and receiving a supportive fist pump, urging him forward and into the house. He nodded again, finally gathering up all his courage and stepping into the house.

        As soon as he entered the door slammed shut behind him, Rohan looking over at him with a cold gaze.

        “Ah, Rohan, you startled m-“

        “Call off your guard dog, there’s no need for him. Besides you won’t want him to hear what I have to say.” Rohan mentioned coldly, crossing his arms as he walked over to one of his cushy armchairs.

        “Hey, what’re you calling him a dog for huh? And I’m tired of all this secrecy, just get the point already! I’ve spent the past two days freaking out about this, I think I’ve had to wait long enough!” Josuke insisted, his stubbornness temporarily overcoming his anxiety. Rohan raised an eyebrow, gritting his teeth.

        “So be it. Heaven’s door!” He announced, sending his stand forward in a flash, Josuke’s body falling against a cabinet and smacking the bruise on his arm before sliding the ground, his chest peeling itself open as half his face did the same, smaller pages flipping open on the rest of his body as he lay helpless on the ground. He let out a hiss of pain, swearing under his breath as his bruise stung.

        “Josuke! Are you ok?” Okuyasu cried, his voice muffled through the door. Rohan raised an eyebrow at him, waiting. For a second Josuke’s mind raced, trying to figure out what to do. If he called Okuyasu in, that would be the end of it. He would never have to face this again and he would have yet another reason to avoid the manga artist in his everyday life. And yet some part of him deep down was calling for him to stay and hear him out. And unfortunately, Josuke knew between his heart and his mind which would ultimately win.

        “Ah, it’s alright Oku, I just hit my bruise is all.” He half lied, wincing as he did his best to shift off of that arm. For a moment Okuyasu was silent but eventually, his voice came back.

        “Alright, I’ll wait on the lawn. Shout if you need me!” Came the reply, along with footsteps receding back down the stairs. Rohan shook his head, rolling his eyes before looking back to Josuke.

        “Good. Now shut up and read this.” He commanded, grabbing at one of the pages in Josuke’s chest and ripping it out, placing it gingerly in the boy’s hands, as if it burned him just to touch it. Josuke was slightly offended but grabbed the page anyways, eyes scanning it for any strange information until it finally caught his eye. Written there, for all to see, was the statement ‘I have never been attracted to a woman’. Josuke looked at it for a second, his chest clenching a bit as he mulled it over in his brain. Oh god, not this. 

        “H-hey, all this was just for this? That’s easy, I just haven’t fallen in love with a woman before that’s all. This doesn’t mean any-“

        “It says attracted to, not in love with.” Rohan pointed out, leaning back against the chair he had been in previously.

        “Well, that just means I’m attracted to the soul, not the body. And I haven’t had a girlfriend yet so how would I know?”

        “You won’t.” Rohan said, snatching the page back and returning it, only to grab another from his head. He shoved it back towards his face, aggressively pointing to another passage. ‘I’ve fantasized about dating most of my male friends since I was a kid’. Josuke’s face immediately flushed a bright pink, waving his hands in front of it defensively.

        “Woah Woah, fantasize is a bit of a strong word don’t you think? I mean we’ve all had those intrusive thoughts now and again, right?” He asked, laughing nervously as Rohan glared down at him. The man shoved the page back in, grabbing yet another from his arm this time. ‘When I was 14 I found a nudie mag and scribbled out all the women in it.’

        “Hey, I was just trying to be... gentlemanly!” He insisted, his face heating up even more as he vigorously avoided the other man’s gaze. It seemed Rohan was getting sick and tired of this. He reached for Josuke’s face again, pulling a page much further back than the ones before it. This time he pulled the page up to his own eyes, squinting to read the small writing.

        “When I was a kid I wanted to marry the man who saved me in the snow but my mom said I couldn’t, so I settled on becoming just like him.” He read out, glaring down at him.

        “Hey, I was a kid! I didn’t know what I was saying, that’s not fair!” Josuke insisted, grabbing the page back from him in a flustered panic. Rohan still wasn’t finished, snatching a page from his hand and reading that aloud as well.

        “I’ve only ever liked imagining sleeping with men.”

        “H-HEY! You wrote that there didn’t you?” Josuke accused, again trying to reach but his page covered arms giving out before he could grab it from him.

        “Does this look like my handwriting to you?” Rohan asked, shoving the page into Josuke’s face and letting him look, the words were printed there in the same style as the rest of the writing. He felt his face heat up even more, even his ears turning a bright red.

        “W-well what are you trying to imply? Huh? That I’m gay or something?”

        “Yes.”

        Rohan’s blunt answer sent Josuke reeling, unsure of how to counter. He had spent so long coming up with counterpoints to his suspicions but he had never truly been confronted like this.

        “B-but-“

        “And the worst thing is you already know you are. You’re just denying it.” Rohan berated, pulling a final page of proof from Josuke’s chest, pointing to a passage that Josuke had been using to push away from himself on an almost daily basis.

        ‘I‘m too scared to let myself be gay.’

        Josuke’s stomach dropped as he read the words, the thought echoing over and over again in his mind.

        “Your stand is powerful. You can warp anything you can touch. But you can’t change yourself. So either you accept it now, or you die miserable and alone. The choice is yours. I have no stake in it either way.” Rohan finished, sitting back in his chair and letting the crumpled pages that littered the ground fly back into Josuke’s body, his skin and clothing sealing back up as though nothing had happened. Josuke wished his mind could do the same. He looked down at his hands, shaking a bit.

        “I... how did you even find this? You said you were going to read about the Kira fight not.... not about...” he mumbled, trying his best to cling to any thought that wasn’t swirling around this revaluation he had been holding off for so long.

        “I told you, context is king. When I see something strange in a story I make it my business to find out why. And usually I wouldn’t make something like this my business but your borderline obsessive repression of one of the few things other than stands we have in common is hard to not take personally.” Rohan berated, the venom in his voice nearly making Josuke miss what he had just admitted about himself. The wheels in his brain finally began to click into place, the randomly whirling gears of his mind finally moving in tandem.

        “I... you are too?” Josuke asked, peering up at him with shame-filled eyes. Rohan glared back, his icy stare unfaltering. His silence was all the affirmation Josuke needed. He sat there for a moment, again trying to sort through his thoughts. How would he be able to live like this, with this big of a secret looming over him? He couldn’t ignore it anymore, and now every moment he spent living his life was another deceiving those around him. He couldn’t face anyone, not like this. It was wrong, it was immoral, it was... but then why didn’t he feel betrayed by Rohan? His arms crossed over his chest, hands grasping at the fabric of his sleeves and pulling him into an even tighter embrace. His mind seemed to tire, his thoughts eventually slowing down until nothing seemed to move within his mind anymore. For a second everything was entirely still.

        “What happens now?” He asked quietly, subconsciously fixing his hair a bit. Rohan raised an eyebrow.

        “What do you mean?”

        “I mean... how do I deal with this, who can I tell...”

        “That’s not my problem. I didn’t do this to become your confidant. Frankly, I’m regretting doing it in the first place.” Rohan admitted, finally getting up from his chair. Josuke felt the panic rise within his chest, clasping his lungs as he began to slightly hyperventilate.

        “Wait you’re just gonna leave me high and dry here? How am I supposed to live like this? Lying to everyone around me?” He asked, his breathing becoming more and more ragged as he went on, barely able to keep it under control as he stammered to his feet.

        “Well considering you’ve always been like this I don’t see how it will be that hard. And it’s not a lie, not everyone has to know about your personal life. Maybe you just need a better sense of privacy.” Rohan mentioned, arms folding over his chest. Josuke paused, thinking for a moment. He wasn’t wrong. In fact, the more he thought about it the more he realized that it wasn’t really anyone’s business at all other than his own. But he also knew that for him, he had to tell people. He just didn’t know how, or if he even should.

        “B-but how am I supposed to like... come out.” He said the last two words quietly, almost as if even saying them would invoke some demon.

        “How the hell should I know, again this isn’t my problem-“

        “Please? You’re the only one who would know about this, you HAVE to help me, I’ll do anything, please.” Josuke pleaded, desperate to cling to the only source of information about all this he had. Rohan raised his eyebrow, turning around to look at him.

        “Anything?”

        Josuke was suddenly regretting his choice of words.

        “Uh, well-“

        “Fine but I have one condition.”

        “Well I don’t think-“

        “One year ago you cheated in a game of Cee-lo. I want you to admit it, and tell me why you left without the money. If you tell me, I’ll formulate a plan for you.” Rohan said, crossing his arms defiantly. Josuke’s mind stopped, the realization of how dumb the request was dawning on him.

        “I... really?”

        “Yes. So will you admit it?” He asked, putting out his hand for Josuke to shake it. Josuke almost had to hold back a laugh at how absurd it was.  Maybe he was just losing his mind. Maybe they both were.

        “You know what... yeah. Sure.” He said, putting out his hand and shaking it. Rohan raised his eyebrow expectantly. “I used Mikitaka as dice so I had to run when the sirens got too loud.”

        “God damnit I knew it.” Rohan hissed, crossing his arms. Over a year later and he was still pissed, especially since he hadn’t figured it out on his own. “Alright get the hell out of my house, I’ll call you back when I have a plan.”

        “Oh, ok uh-“ Josuke tried to respond before he was shoved out of the house, the door slamming in his face. His face scrunched up as he stood there, doing his best to process everything that had just happened.

        “Oi, Josuke! You ok?” Okuyasu asked, running over to him and spinning him around, checking him for injuries. Finally he stopped searching, staring at him with concern etched into his features. He was so close. Too close. Josuke felt his face heat up, pushing Okuyasu away as he did his best to compose himself.

        “Woah, h-hey I’m ok, I promise.” He said, his face heating up even more as he did his best to act natural. Okuyasu looked disappointed and somewhat hurt that he was pushed away, but he was obviously far more concerned with Josuke than himself.

        “You sure? I can go beat him up if yo-“

        “No, no it’s alright. He uh... He just wanted to clarify some things.” Josuke again half lied, cursing himself for not being able to come up with a better cover story. He wasn’t ready for Okuyasu to know the truth. He didn’t quite know why but even with how close they were and how much they trusted one another this just seemed... different. Like something he couldn’t take back, whatever the consequences. Okuyasu looked at him, eyes wide and innocent, almost begging him to open up. It took everything Josuke had not to cave.

        “Well, if you’re sure.” He sighed, giving his friend a weak smile. “So, wanna go get ice cream? It’ll help ya feel better!”

        Josuke felt the shame and self-hatred begin to ebb as Okuyasu smiled at him, his face breaking out into a tentative smile.

        “Hell yeah I do.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: Don’t be suspicious.

        Koichi’s stare bored into Josuke’s skull, studying him as Okuyasu continued to rattle on, awkwardly trying to keep up the conversation mostly by himself. Josuke did his best to ignore his friend’s stone-cold, studious gaze. He had to have suspected something was wrong. He had ever since Josuke had admitted to going to Rohan’s house alone. And Josuke couldn’t help but feel he was getting close to figuring out why. Too close. At least Okuyasu seemed none the wiser. But then again…

        “Yo, Josuke, you listening?” Okuyasu exclaimed, waving a hand in front of his eyes impatiently. Josuke felt his heart jump into his mouth, his throat catching for a second as he was dragged back to reality.

        “Ah, sorry, I’m uh…” He looked over at Koichi, who was still staring at him suspiciously. “Not feeling well today. My head has been bugging me.” He finished, chuckling nervously as he cursed himself for not being able to come up with a better excuse. Koichi raised an eyebrow, his face scrunching up a bit. Josuke gulped, doing his best not to bite his lip. Okuyasu looked concerned as well, putting a hand on his shoulder. Josuke felt his face heating up a bit as he watched Okuyasu’s eyes scan his own. 

        “Really? Maybe you should head home bro, I’m sure your mom will get you some medicine or something. She once helped me with a headache. We could even go see Tonio if you want.” He mentioned, offering a supportive smile. Josuke felt his face heat up even more as he tried to brush it off, leaning away from his hand a bit defensively. Okuyasu looked disappointed again, shrinking away a bit and crossing his arms. Koichi seemed unconvinced to say the least.

        “But you’ve been acting like this for a few days now. Do you think you might be sick?” He asked, crossing his arms much like Okuyasu. Despite his suspicions, he was obviously concerned as well. Josuke tensed up, his mind racing. There had to be some way out of this. He was a Joestar damnit, he could get out of anything.

        “Yeah, yeah maybe. I’ll talk to her later. But uh, I need to... finish my homework first. I have to go to the library, I’ve been having trouble with my English class, the teacher recommended a book that might help... I really have to pass this class so-”

        “Are you sure?” Koichi cut him off, looking more and more concerned by the second.

        “Yeah, studyin’s hard when your head hurts, if we go to-” Okuyasu tried to cut in, obviously confused as to why Josuke kept pulling back.

        “I know, I just have to check out the book, then I can go home, ok?” Josuke assured them, scrambling to his feet and grabbing his bag.

        “Are you sure? We can go with you-”

        “No, you and Okuyasu head home. I don’t wanna make you wait while I look for it.” He assured them, helping Koichi to his feet before pulling Okuyasu up. However, Okuyasu didn’t let go of his hand afterward, pulling back a bit so Josuke had to look at him. Josuke did his best to avert his eyes, looking past him towards the school building until he couldn’t take it anymore, accidentally catching Okuyasu’s gaze. His face Immediately began to flush again, hoping beyond hope Okuyasu didn’t notice.

        “Are you sure nothings wrong? You look red. D’ ya have a fever?” He asked, reaching out to put the back of his hand on Josuke’s forehead. In a moment of panic, Josuke wiggled out of his grasp, instinctively biting his lip. He let out a short, nervous laugh as he straightened himself, doing his best to keep his hair together.

        “It’sfineI’mgoodgottagothoughbye!” He managed to get out before turning to the school, speed walking as fast as possible as the thought ‘RUN’ flashed past over and over again in his mind. Finally he reached the school doors, flinging them open and immediately dashing behind the wall, dropping to his knees in relief. Once again the Joestar technique won the day. Real smooth Higashikata. Real smooth. Josuke let himself smile a bit at his own rediculous behavior, burying his face in his hands. Real smooth indeed. It took him a bit to compose himself. He silently thanked whatever gods were listening that no one seemed to be in the area as he slowly calmed down. He couldn’t remember ever being so panicked. When he was fighting things were different. Everything felt so clear. It was him and the enemy, and all he had to do was think of a way to best them. He was good at that. He could handle that. But the second it was out of his hands, when he didn’t have all the cards, when there was something he just didn’t know, everything was suddenly a threat. And this whole situation, every aspect, his friends, his family, his community, even himself, they were all unstable. And his emotions… well considering he was on the floor of the school after hours hyperventilating behind a door right now instead of with his friends said it all. Jotaro would be able to deal with this.

        Josuke finally shook his head, standing up and looking back out of the window in the door he had hidden behind, his chest clamping up again when he found Okuyasu and Koichi still talking in front of the school, both seemingly still discussing what had just happened, the worry still etched on their faces. Josuke let out a few expletives under his breath as he shied away from the window. He needed a plan. And this time he knew he could come up with one. For the first time since the confrontation Josuke had a clear goal, get past his friends and to Rohan’s without being seen. In any other context, he would have thought he was crazy. Even in this one he couldn’t help but think he just might be anyways. He took a deep breath, focusing on the task at hand. It didn’t take him long to get to the side yard of the school, eyeing up the fence he’d decided would be best to scale to get him to Rohan’s as quickly as possible. After a quick look around he called forth Crazy Diamond, grabbing the top of the fence to vault his user over. He overshot but only by a little, able to catch himself with a bit of a grateful smile to his stand.

        “What would I do without you buddy.” He quietly praised, his stand letting out a happy ‘Dora’ before disappearing. God, he really must be crazy if he’s talking to his stand. Not that he had never done that before, he had done it quite often as a kid but still, he’d usually save that for when he was alone. And well, maybe it was fitting he should feel the need to talk to him now. Before that train of thought could take over he dove back into his plan, keeping a keen eye out as he made his way down the streets to get to Rohan’s house. A few times he nearly jumped out of his skin when hearing different students talking as they went home,  almost convincing himself Hazamada or Yukako was walking amongst them. However each time he was proven wrong. Finally, after what seemed like an hour he showed up at Rohan’s front door, letting out a sigh of relief as he climbed the stairs, finally knocking on the pale pink door. After a moment of waiting the door swung open, nearly hitting Josuke in the face.

        “Oh joy, it’s you. Come in. Let’s make this quick, the less time you spend in my house the better.” Rohan said, peering down his nose at the highschooler. He had an unfamiliar apron tied around his waist, bits of flour on his arms with a small amount smeared on his face. Josuke did his best to not roll his eyes. The fact he could be so calm and nonchalant about all of this was ridiculous. But what did he expect, Rohan was still Rohan. He walked into the house, catching a flash of green out of the corner of his eye but quickly turned away, convinced that it was another trick of his mind. Rohan led the boy to his kitchen, motioning for Josuke to sit as he checked his mixing bowl. He seemed displeased, but then again when did he not.

        “I think this is the first time I’ve ever said this but you’ve arrived at a good time. My dough still needs to rise so we have some time to discuss before I need to get back to baking. And before you ask it’s none of your business why I’m learning to bake.” He said, taking the seat across from Josuke at his table. Josuke crossed his arms, lying to himself in a barely audible mumble that he wasn’t going to ask in the first place. Rohan rolled his eyes, thrusting a paper that had been sitting on the table towards him. The paper was covered in names, all of whom Josuke recognized as friends and family. They all seemed to be color-coded, with names like Tomoko and Jotaro in green, some like Koichi and Mikitaka in blue, and others like Toyohiro and Hazamada in purple. Josuke stared at it for a moment, confused.

        “These are all the people in your life that I seem to recall having some significance to you, though honestly, I remember most of them from Koichi so I may be wrong. I color-coded it based on what relation you have to the person, again my memory may be wrong so feel free to change whatever you feel inaccurate. The green names are your family, the blue your close friends and the purple are others in your… circle.” He said, pulling the necessary pens out of his pocket and lining them up with the paper. Josuke looked over the list, his eyes finally catching on one of the names. 

        “Why is Okuyasu’s name in red?” He asked, raising a confused eyebrow at the man in front of him. Rohan looked at him for a moment, blinking a few times.

        “I… you really don’t… and you wonder why I hate you so much. That’s not the point. Just fix up the list so I know what I’m working with.” He sighed, pinching at the bridge of his nose in frustration. Josuke was offended but did what the man told him, adding Holly to the list as well as changing the colors of a few of the names by underlining them with the ‘correct’ color, finally ending when he circled Okuyasu’s name in blue, the corners of his mouth briefly twisting into the ghost of a grin as he thought about his best friend’s smile that seemed constantly etched in his mind, finally putting down all the pens. Rohan seemed distracted with his sketch pad so Josuke cleared his throat, earning a glare from the artist as he lowered his newly formed drawing. He looked over the sheet for a moment, eyes trailing down the list of names. 

        “This is it?” He asked, an eyebrow raised.

        “Hey, it’s not like you have any more friends than I do.” Josuke argued, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. He knew there were more people he could have added that used to talk to him at school but honestly, he didn’t care about them enough to even consider them anymore. None of them ever really knew him anyways. They couldn’t have, not without seeing his stand.

        “Fine. Now decide who is most important to you on this list. That way we can have a better idea of who you need to tell. I’m guessing you’ll want your mother to know first and seeing how Jotaro is as close to a traditional father figure you’ve got you should tell him second. You can tell Tomoko today and-”

        “Today!?” Josuke asked, his heart stopping in his chest. His mind raced as the panic set in, his mother’s horrified and disappointed face flashing in his mind over and over again, a thousand different disgusted and disappointed responses flowing into his mind all at once. His breath hitched a bit, getting faster and faster as he began to hyperventilate. Rohan raised an eyebrow, his face softening a bit. “Isn’t that too soon? I-I’m not even sure about this myself, maybe she doesn’t need to know!”

        “Josuke, Koichi came to my house yesterday. He was worried and thought I had done something to you. Them not knowing is obviously getting to you. And the sooner someone knows the more normal this will feel. Remember, I speak from experience.” Rohan admitted, putting down his pad fully. For the first time since this all started Rohan didn’t seem quite so annoyed or angry. He seemed almost… sympathetic. If that was even something he was capable of. “I won’t lie to you and say everyone will take it well. But you very obviously care about these people knowing who you are, this included. And I can’t speak for everyone but I know for a fact that you have friends who will be supportive of you no matter what you tell them. I’m pretty sure you could murder someone with your bare hands right in front of him and that idiot Nijimura would still follow you like a lost puppy.”

        “No!” He exclaimed suddenly, his face heating up. For a second he sat there, panic clawing at his insides like a wild animal. He put his head in his hands, defeated. “Okuyasu can’t know. Just… not yet. I just, I don’t know what this means about me, the fact I was holding it off for so long, that I can live… with it and not… hiding it. It’s just all so… new.” He mumbled, crossing his arms. He tried to hide his face under his hair, not wanting Rohan to see just how embarrassed he was. Rohan just let out a frustrated sigh, leaning back in his chair.

        “Look, if you aren’t ready yet, that’s fine. It really isn’t my problem. But what I’m telling you is true, the sooner you let someone know the more comfortable you’ll be. It can be your family, your friends, whatever. Just knowing that someone’s there is important.” He said, his arms crossing over his chest. He seemed to pause, realizing he had overshared and cursing under his breath. Josuke looked down at his hands. That must have been why he was so keen to hang onto Koichi the way he did. Maybe Koichi really was the only thing keeping him sane. Well, as sane as a man who admitted to licking impaled spiders could be. Josuke couldn’t help but shiver a bit at the thought of this somehow being the sane Rohan. But his mind didn’t wander far, letting itself fall back into the problem at hand. 

        “I… think I understand. I just… not yet. I’ll tell them eventually. I just… I need to be ready. But until then…” He mumbled, trying his best to calm the panic in his mind. He knew he was just delaying the inevitable but still. It was better than having to face it so soon. He felt guilty about it, maybe because part of him knew he would do everything he could to keep delaying it for as long as he could. Hey, this wasn’t the first time he had to hide things from the people he loved. He had kept the entirety of his stand life hidden from his mother for quite a while. But then again, the second he ended up in the hospital she had squeezed it out of him and been overly protective ever since. And lord knew she wasn’t the only one who had been acting protective over him since Kira died. Maybe this wouldn’t be so easy after all.

        Rohan seemed unconvinced but stood up, walking back over to his still rising dough. He looked at it, casually shooing Josuke away as he again seemed disappointed at its lack of progress. “Whatever. Not my problem. Take the paper and go. You may still have use for it.”Josuke sighed, getting up and gathering his things before heading for the door. He stopped for a moment before exiting, looking back towards the kitchen.

        “Uh, thanks. For the advice.” Josuke offered, giving a final wave before slipping out of the house. He sighed in relief as the door closed, doing his best to relax. At least he was out of there. Maybe he had been too high strung. As scared as he was of this emotional crap, panicking at every sign of suspicion was just going to raise more suspicion. He had to think like Jotaro, that man could be under the greatest pressure imaginable and still be cool-headed. Or at least he could look it. And really in this situation that was all that mattered. Looking calm. 

        As he started on his walk home he took a deep breath, trying to mimic Jotaro’s calm demeanor. In some ways, it put him at ease, just like it did after Okuyasu’s encounter with Chili Pepper. But he had done this song and dance before. He would do his best to mimic Jotaro’s swagger, keeping a straight face and pulling his shoulders back in pride, only to feel like a little kid in his grandfather’s clothes. It didn’t fit. No matter how cool it made him feel or how good it did to disguise how he felt he couldn’t help but feel so much smaller. It would never fit him the way it fit Jotaro. But maybe he could find something else. Okuyasu? No, if he started mimicking his behavior his mother would kill him for ruining his back. And no matter how hard he tried nothing could ever match the energy Okuyasu exuded from every pore. He’d never seen anything like it before and was 100% sure nothing could replicate him. Koichi? No, Koichi was far braver than Josuke was. He was always so open about his feelings, and Josuke could never manage that without turning it into a joke or getting too serious and bringing down the mood. Yukako? Oh god no. Anyone would be better. But then again, considering his other friends, maybe they wouldn’t be. He sighed, finally reaching his home. He started hesitantly at his door, taking a deep breath. He would tell her. Eventually.

        “Hey mom, I’m home.” He called, swinging his bag over his shoulder. He sighed, kicking his shoes off and heading into his house when-

        “HEY! I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU!” His mother shouted from the kitchen, Josuke feeling a chill run down his spine. This couldn’t be good. He let out a loud groan, doing his best to sneak up the stairs to his room, able to drop his bag before his mother’s shadow crept up the stairs, her arms crossed and her face cloaked in shadow. Josuke let out a short, nervous laugh, trying to strike a casual pose.

        “Hey mom, sorry I uh, had homework to do.” He said, smiling as best he could. Tomoko approached him, Josuke doing his best not to panic as her menacing form loomed ever closer, only to find her face twisted not into an expression of anger like he thought but one of annoyed concern. She slapped his arm lightly, doing her best to look angry but Josuke could see right past it.

        “Your friends came to me earlier. They said you were acting strange. Okuyasu said they saw you going to that Kishibe’s house, that you had gone there multiple times and wouldn’t tell anyone what it’s about. I swear you should have let me go to the police about what that man did to poor Koichi, if he’s doing anything to you-” She started, raising a threatening hand. Josuke’s stomach sank. They really did follow him. He should have been more careful. But right now the most important thing was his mother. And with how frantic she had been this past year, he wouldn’t be able to get anything past her. For a moment he considered just coming clean, but immediately decided that wasn’t an option. His mind spun, trying to come up with something, anything to say. Suddenly before he could stop it the voice in the back of his head pushed itself to the forefront and poured out of his mouth.

        “No mom it’s… look I have a problem. And I convinced Rohan to help me with it but it's… stressful. Ok?” He finally blurted out, the words rolling from his lips before he could stop them. “And I know you’re worried about me and I know you want me to be safe but I need space. And time. Can I please have that?” He pleaded, suddenly realizing what he was saying. This was the first time in a year he had admitted something was wrong to a loved one. Part of him was horrified, but he couldn’t help but feel the weight that had been squishing his chest lift ever so slightly. Like after so long he could finally breathe, even if it was just a little. Tomoko sighed, her face still set into a look of annoyance but softening quite a bit.

        “Do you promise you’ll tell me? When you’re ready?” She said, face set in an angry pout. Josuke felt his chest lighten slightly again. It wasn’t like he expected her to barge into his life and force him out of the closet with fire but he couldn’t have helped being scared of the possibility. Maybe this wouldn’t be so scary after all. But then again, coming out was still an entirely different ballpark to just admitting something was wrong.

        “Yeah, I promise mom.” He assured her, letting out a sigh of relief. Before he could say anything more his mother wrapped her arms around his chest, pulling him into a tight hug.

        “You know I love you, right?” She said, sighing as she pulled him closer. He let out a strangulated complaint, rolling his eyes as he hugged her back. After a moment she finally let go, Josuke sucking in a dramatically big breath, as though the hug were a stranglehold made to kill. Tomoko slapped him on the arm again, huffing a bit at her son’s dramatics.

        “Yeah, I know.”

        “And?”

        “And what?”

        “Say it!”

        “Gah, fine. I love you too.” He finally admitted, his face heating up with an embarrassed blush. Tomoko smiled, grabbing her son’s cheek and pinching it for a second, smiling as he began to complain.

        “Good. Now dinner will be ready soon, come set the table.”

        “Fine.”

        “Good boy.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 4: Grounding.

        It was late. Or maybe it was early. Honestly on nights like these it was hard to tell. Either way, he would stay up as long as possible. Being miserable and tired was far better than what came in his sleep. It always crept in with the dark. Sometimes in a dream, or when he was just on the cusp of sleep to jolt him back awake it came to him, the vivid memories of that day came back to him. The sound of explosions, the strange hiss of the captured stray cat, the blood, the glass, the pain, Okuyasu…

        He had started burning incense in his room at night. It wasn’t for the smell, it was to make the air smokey so he could see if some invisible bubble we’re to threaten him again. The rational part of him knew that was ridiculous. The paranoid part of him couldn’t let him rest without it. But no matter how smokey his room got he still couldn’t help but remember. Sometimes he wanted to just open the window, letting that protective smoke fly up into the atmosphere, letting him breathe the clear night air even for just a second before the air bombs got to him. The rest of him knew how crazy that was. Letting go meant giving up. And after losing so much, Josuke couldn’t give up. So he clung to his ritual, his light still on to allow for better monitoring of the smoke in his room. It had been a full year. Why couldn’t he just let this go? Somewhere deep in his core he was scared that this would be his life now. That he’d always be this scared. He looked out his window, doing his best to push away the thoughts. That was all he was good for really. That’s when something caught his eye.

        A light. Someone else awake at this ungodly hour. And he immediately recognized who. It was the Nijimura household. He had looked over there a lot this past year. He had memorized which room was Okuyasu’s so he’d be able to look over at it whenever he felt this way. It had happened quite a bit. His light flicking on late at night. Most of the time Josuke took it as a good sign, a sign that his friend was still there, that he could rest. But after everything that had happened as of late, he couldn’t help but wonder if Okuyasu was in the same boat he was. He hesitated for a moment, doing his best to think this through. Even if he hadn’t come clean to his mother that night, he had to admit he felt better knowing she knew he wasn’t ok. Maybe, somehow, talking about this would feel the same. Maybe it could help them both. But what if the call was for nothing? What if…

        Fuck it.

        He was done waiting like this. The longer he spent like this the more crazy he felt. Every night being trapped in his room, staring at the air around him like everything was going to fall apart. Every time anything from that day wormed it’s way into his mind just trying to push it away as though nothing had ever happened. He tried so hard to feel normal but sometimes he just felt sick. And he was fucking sick of it. He grabbed his landline from the table by his bed, slamming the numbers to Okuyasu’s home into the number pad before he could overthink and stop himself. After a moment he heard the dial tone, causing his stomach to drop. Oh god, this was a mistake. He began to panic, wondering whether or not he should hang up when-

        “Hello?” The gravelly voice on the other end of the line made Josuke's stomach flip. He actually picked up. Josuke almost wanted to slam the phone down and pretend this whole thing never happened, but before he could stop himself he was speaking.

        “Hey man, are… are you up?” He asked, immediately cursing himself for asking such a stupid question. Of course he was up, he had answered the phone after all.

        “Josuke? Y-yeah, I am.” For a moment they were both painfully silent. Josuke wasn’t exactly sure of what to say, his mouth hopelessly opening and closing like a koi fish as he tried to form some reason for why he had called. But before he could say anything he was cut off by Okuyasu's low, soft baritone.

        “Hey, can I come over? For a bit?” He asked, his voice slightly muffled. Even if he couldn’t see it in person, Josuke could tell exactly what expression Okuyasu had on his face. He was most likely looking down, eyebrows knit together in concern, his face slightly flushed in embarrassment, and his eyes trained on a specific spot on the floor. Josuke felt his heart tug at his chest from the mere thought. He didn’t want Okuyasu to see him like this, disheveled and tired and disturbed. His hair was completely down, ratty and tangled locks hanging over sunken in eyes. But the shyness in Okuyasu’s voice, the undeniable urge to see him, even if it was just to prove he was alive was too strong. Again he acted against his better judgment.

        “Yeah. Yeah, you can stay in my-” Suddenly the phone let out a loud tone, Josuke pulling the phone back as he realized what had just happened. Okuyasu had hung up on him. He was half panicked and half hurt, unsure of what was happening. Was he coming over? Was it all just a joke? Some kind of prank? Did he know? Josuke felt his chest clench up, doing his best not to cry. What if he had just made a terrible mistake? What if Okuyasu never wanted to see him again? What if-

        “Yo, Josuke!” The call suddenly snapped Josuke out of his downward spiral, his eyes wildly scanning the room until he found its source, Okuyasu knocking on his window, dressed in pajamas and wrapped in a blanket, his stand fading from behind him after fulfilling its duty of teleporting him in short bursts up to Josuke’s roof. Josuke felt a flood of emotion hit him, relief and panic and embarrassment and so much more. He sprung up, opening the window without thinking, only recognizing as it happened that the buildup of smoke had been released into the night air. Okuyasu coughed a bit at the sudden blast of lavender smoke but crawled in, falling onto the floor with a small yelp as Josuke closed the window behind him.

        “Oku are you crazy?” He hissed, pulling his friend up, his face still red from first seeing him up on his roof outside his window. Okuyasu let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his head.

        “Heh, maybe. Sorry, I scared you. I guess I got a little too excited…” The boy admitted, smiling up at his friend only to have his jaw slowly drop, eyes trained on his hair. Josuke felt his face flush even further, hands shooting up to cover his hair defensively.

        “Hey, don’t look at it.” He scolded, trying to run a hand through his hair in a desperate attempt to make himself somewhat presentable.

        “Sorry dude, I didn’t mean to stare. Ya just… I don’t get to see you with your hair down too often.” He admitted, his face flushing a bit.”You look good either way.”

        “Oh uh, thanks.” Josuke mumbled, sitting back down on his bed as his embarrassment grew. He looked away in an attempt to hide his blush.  For a moment they were silent, Okuyasu taking a seat at his friend’s desk.

        “Oi, Josuke, what’s with the smoke?” Okuyasu asked, waving his hand in front of his face in an attempt to get some of the lavender heavy air away from his mouth. Josuke felt his chest clamp up yet again. What was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to just brush this one off? He was so tired…

        “It’s… to see the… the-”

        “Bubbles?” Okuyasu finished, Josuke’s eyes snapping over to see Okuyasu’s tired, empty eyes. That's when he noticed the lingering redness around his eyes, and the leftover marks of tear tracks down his face. “’S smart. I wouldn’ expect any less from someone smart like you. I usually just… pray. To Keicho usually. Load of good that does.” 

        Josuke looked at him, for the first time in a long time letting himself stare at his friend, studying him. Okuyasu’s shoulders were hiked up, his jaw set in a clenched pout. Instead of fully sitting on his seat he was perched on the edge of the chair, as though he would have to get up to fight at any time. Suddenly Josuke was brought out of his narcissistic self-loathing, realizing that the pain of the past wasn't just his burden. After a second Josuke shuffled over slightly, patting the bed next to him. Okuyasu seemed surprised but inevitably did as he was told. He didn't sit fully on the bed yet, the mattress only dipping slightly as he lowered his weight partially onto the soft bed. It took him a moment to feel comfortable, but it didn't take long before Josuke reached out his hand, tugging lightly on Okuyasu’s shirt.

        “Josuke, what-”

        “It’s selfish, I know it is but this is what helps me. I don’t think you’ve noticed yet, but I do that a lot. I just… it helps remind me that you're still really... here. If it makes you uncomfortable I can stop.” Josuke admitted, his fingers pinching at the fabric, feeling its soft texture as it slid between his fingers. His gaze was trained on his bedsheets, but he could still see Okuyasu looking at him through the corner of his eye. He watched as Okuyasu's hand approached his, his breath silently hitching in his throat as Okuyasu’s rough hands grabbed his, pulling them away from his shirt as he twisted around to fully face his friend. Part of him expected his friend to drop his hand then and there and tell him off for being so weird, but instead, his fingers interlaced into his own, further letting himself sit on the bed. Josuke finally found the courage to look up, finding himself face to face with a stream of tears. He felt his heart stop as he watched his friend fall apart in front of him on the bed.

        “I coulda done that this whole time?” He asked, his voice breaking a bit as he let a calloused thumb rub over Josuke's hand. Josuke felt his face heating up, his own tears threatening to fall. “God Josuke m’ always so scared, even in the middle of the day, tha’ it'll happen all over again, that something I can't see will come and take me ‘way again. Or take you…” He whimpered, his hands shaking as he began to sob. Josuke felt his jaw shake, the sudden wetness of tears streaking down his face startling him a bit. He pulled his hand away from Okuyasu’s, wrapping it around his shoulders as Okuyasu buried his face in his friend's chest. For the first time in a long time, Josuke simply let himself cry. It hurt, to let these things come back to him. But it also felt so good to release it, even if it was just a little. It took Okuyasu a while to cry himself out, his tears gradually slowing as he clung to the back of his friend's shirt. Josuke tried his best not to let himself cry anymore, swallowing down the rest of his tears as he heard Okuyasu let out a small laugh.

        “Maybe we shoulda gone to therapy like Koichi and Yukako, huh.” He admitted, his head sliding up to land in the crook of Josuke's neck. Josuke shook his head, sighing.

        “Maybe. But I don't think so. Jotaro was nice to offer but I don't trust that the Speedwagon Foundation wouldn't take some of it to use in their stand research. Call me crazy but I don’t know how they would still be completely loyal to the Joesar family just because my great grandfather was friends with some guy who got rich.” He admitted, letting himself laugh for a second. He felt Okuyasu’s jaw clench against his shoulder, shifting a bit in his friend’s arms.

        “I don't know man, I think ‘s kinda beautiful. Like, imagine being able to protect those you love forever, even when neither of you is around ‘nymore. ‘S like, he can be there for us even when he’s not there.” He said, subconsciously nuzzling against Josuke’s neck. Josuke felt his face heat up again, trying to get away a bit by lying down but Okuyasu refused to let go, dragging them both down and causing them both to let out a small giggle. It seemed he wasn't the only one feeling the effects of the newfound levity. It was strange, how much good talking through even just a little of their pain could do to them. Okuyasu finally let go, Josuke feeling his heart begin to tug at him to pull his friend back into their almost desperate cuddle. But it didn't take long before he had shifted himself to be comfortable, granting Josuke's silent wish as he wrapped his friend in his arms again, one slinging over his shoulders and one snaking its way under his chest to hold his side. Josuke let out a nearly silent hum, simply enjoying how close they were. The fact that he was here, able to feel his friend’s heartbeat in his chest. Proof that he was really alive. He felt his chest rise as he took each breath, felt each exhale tickled his forehead. He gradually matched his friend’s deep breaths, counting each beat of his heart with a smile.

        “I almost feel like him sometimes. ‘S weird as that sounds. Like, I’m not the only one who came back for a Joestar, though I guess that doesn’t make a lotta sense... “ Okuyasu admitted quietly, pulling Josuke even closer, Squishing Josuke's face into his chest. Josuke’s eyes went wide for a moment, the sudden recognition hitting him like a ton of bricks. He wasn’t entirely wrong. He squeezed his friend's chest, taking in a deep, deodorant and fabric softener scented breath. He found himself nuzzling deeper into the fabric of his friend’s shirt without realizing it. Again his mouth moved on its own, his brain not catching up before he was able to speak.

        “I’m glad you came back.” He mumbled, closing his eyes as he let out a long breath, unsure of how long he had been holding it. He felt his mind begin to drift, the safety of his friend’s strong grip allowing his tired mind to finally rest. He was too tired to regret any of this now. Okuyasu hummed a bit, seemingly satisfied with his answers. He sighed, his hand lazily stroking Josuke’s loose hair.

        “Things were getting a little better. For a while. Could sleep without having nightmares sometimes. But I’m all stressed now and ‘s all just…” Okuyasu admitted, his voice becoming tired and sad. Josuke thought about it, things beginning to line up in his head. He might have caused this. The thought almost made him sick, and if he wasn’t so tired and warm he might have pulled away in shame.

        “Me too. But then…” He paused, sighing. “I’ll tell you. Eventually. I promise I will.” Okuyasu paused for a moment, gripping his hands in Josuke’s hair, almost tugging at him a bit in a strange protective instinct. But eventually he sighed, his hand going limp in his hair, much to Josuke's silent chagrin. They laid there, Josuke just on the cusp of sleep, Okuyasu lazily toying with his hair as he dozed off.

        “Yo, Josuke, you mind if I turn off the light?” Okuyasu asked softly, his lips coming to a rest on Josuke’s forehead. Josuke felt his chest clamp up again, the panic of what may be lurking in the dark beginning to creep into his mind, but the beating of Okuyasu's heart, the warmth Okuyasu’s lips seemed to spread throughout his body and the blinders of sleep on his mind, they began to ebb away. For the first time since the Kira fight, he didn’t care. He nodded lightly against Okuyasu’s jaw, tired eyes watching as Okuyasu’s stand appeared over him, reaching over to switch off the light for him and giving a soft nod to his user as he faded away. Josuke looked into the dark, tired eyes scanning it for movement as his last bits of consciousness. Eventually his eyes fell back to his friend, his caramel skin rising and falling as he began his own fall into sleep. And for a moment the dark could stay in the dark, and no pale phantoms would find him in it.

~*~

        “Yes, now that you mention it I have noticed him acting strangely. Perhaps we should approach him about this? He may have a satisfactory explanation.” Mikitaka said, his usual strange monotone making even this statement of concern sound detached and well, alien.

        “No, We’ve tried that. He just keeps acting like nothing’s wrong. I went to talk to Rohan about it but he said that it was Josuke’s problem, not his. I don’t know if I really believe that though.” Koichi admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. He grabbed his cup, taking a sip through his straw as he looked around the cozy Cafe Rengatei they had made their official meeting place. The quaint shop wasn’t the most discrete but it definitely made them all feel more at ease.

        “Then we find it ourselves. You said you used Echoes act 1 to follow him to Rohan’s house, right? We can just keep doing that, can’t we? I can even go through his room, there have to be clues there-” Yukako started, her voice low and dangerous as she talked to the group at large. Koichi grabbed her shoulder, shaking his head.

        “No, come on Yu, remember what Mr. Sayago said.” Koichi reminded, nervously but gently urging her to rethink her proposed actions. “Treat others the way you would want to be treated. How would you feel having your stuff looked into?”

        “I’d be mad.” She admitted, her light and lovey-dovey voice coming back, even if it was only for a moment. “But I’d understand if I was being this annoying about this. I can’t believe he won't-”

        “I know, but that doesn’t mean we can invade his privacy.”

        “Why not? If we are worried about his safety why should we not intrude?” Mikitaka asked, eyebrows raised. Koichi went to argue but quickly shut his mouth. He had no hope against Mikitaka’s ignorance and Yukako’s will, not alone anyway. He looked over at Okuyasu, who was still staring off into the distance, a faint blush on his face.

        “Okuyasu? You've been awfully quiet.” He asked, waving a desperate hand in front of his friend’s face. Okuyasu blinked a few times, seeming to come back to reality. He smiled sheepishly, laughing a bit.

        “Sorry, just had a strange night ‘sall.” He admitted, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. “I think… I think Josuke will tell us when he's ready. He can mostly take care of himself, and I live just down the street so…”

        “Are you sure?” Koichi asked, seemingly unconvinced.

        “Yeah, I trust him. And maybe he doesn't trust us enough yet but we just have to show him that we can be trustworthy by having faith in him.” He posited, kicking bashfully at the ground. The others looked at each other, seeming confused but compliant.

        “Alright. I guess so. We just have to support him when he's ready.” Koichi sighed, seemingly unsatisfied but at the very least resolute in this new plan.

        “Good.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 5: Out of the Frying Pan

        He should have known something was wrong when he saw the car in front of his house. It was entirely unfamiliar but seemed very well maintained. The license plate was lined with a logo for a rental company. Now that was interesting. But he had spent too much time being paranoid. Whatever this was, he would handle it. Though he couldn't stop his stomach churning as a deep-seated panic rose from the deepest part of his chest. He did his best to swallow it down, knocking on the door a few times to warn his mom and whatever company there was that he was coming in, jamming his key into the lock and jiggling the door open. It didn't take him long, slipping into the house with a loud “Hey mom, I’m home!”

        “Oh, Josuke! Come over we have company!” Tomoko called, her voice coming from the kitchen. Josuke paused, a sudden wave of dread hitting him as he recognized a light, slightly nasally voice from the kitchen.

        “Oh, I’m sorry, I have to head home, I still have this week's issue to write.” The voice mentioned, a metal chair scraping across the tile sounding as he shuffled to get up. “I’ll leave you both to it. I’m sure Josuke will be glad to take my place.” 

        None other than Rohan Kishibe rounded the corner, giving a cold, sadistic smile to Josuke as he said a final farewell to his mother and yet another voice as they said their goodbyes, this one much lower and far more terrifying. Josuke could immediately see the massive man in his mind's eye, his towering figure glaring down at any unfortunate enough to cross him. Jotaro Kujo. The words faded away as he slipped into a panic, quickly ducking back outside the door, his breath hitching in his throat and refusing to let him inhale. Whatever Rohan was planning it wasn’t good, and Josuke had a sneaking suspicion he knew exactly what the man had envisioned would be in store. The door swung open suddenly, a loud humph sounding as Rohan closed the door behind him, standing in front of Josuke with his arms crossed.

        “Well, at least mine isn’t the only property you’re prone to devaluing.” He mentioned, striking one of his signature pompous poses, hip jutting out and arms crossed over his chest, glaring down his nose at him despite Josuke’s significant height advantage. 

        “What did you do?” Josuke hissed, Doing his best to keep his hair in order as he seethed.

        “Relax. I didn't invite him here. He had to come back to Morioh already, something about a starfish, I wasn't paying attention. He was dropping by to surprise people since it was a bit of an impromptu trip, and I suggested going to have tea with Tomoko.” He said, his tone as laissez-faire as his pose. Josuke did his best to calm himself down, still seeing red.

        “Didn’t I tell you that I wasn’t ready yet?” Josuke muttered, his hands over his face. Rohan raised an eyebrow.

        “Did I say anything about you coming out today? No. Is this a good opportunity? Yes. Should you tell Mr.Kujo in person? Yes. Do you have to? No. Here's your shot, this is your chance, take it or don’t. It isn’t my problem.” He finished, throwing his hands up as he sauntered away, making his way off towards his home. Josuke opened his mouth to protest, but couldn’t find the words, instead gaping like a fish as he glared at the infuriating artist as he sauntered confidently away. Josuke felt his face heating up as he angrily turned back to the door, taking a deep breath. He couldn’t do this. Not now. Not ever. He had to make a break for his room. He could do that at least. He could-

        The second he entered the room he came face to face with Jotaro, staring down at him with his cold, trained eyes. Josuke jumped, smiling as he stared up at the older man. Jotaro seemed pleased to see him, but had immediately picked up on the fact that something was wrong.

        “Jotaro! It’s so good to see you! Rohan mentioned something about your starfish, I’m glad you came to visit!” He said, doing his best to act natural but trying a bit too hard. He almost winced at how forced his facade seemed but did his best to roll with it. As he spoke Tomoko entered the hallway, smiling as she saw the two together.

        “Josuke, I was worried you might be upset that I had company without warning you but you're more than welcome to join us. I know you haven’t been ver-” Tomoko started, doing her best to remain sympathetic as Josuke began to feel the panic bubbling up again, coming to a head when his mother began to imply in front of his mentor that something was wrong.

        “Haha, I’m fine mom it’s ok, I’m not... thirsty, I have a lot of homework I think I should go work on that.” He quickly spat out, doing his best to smile through the awkwardness. Jotaro stared at him, his eyebrows lowering into a confused glare. It was as though he could see right through him. Josuke could swear he felt Star Platinum reading his every microexpression. His whole body was screaming to just bolt up the stairs but instead he just edged towards their base, hoping that it would seem somehow less suspicious. Tomoko just looked concerned.

        “Oh, Ok. School comes first.” As soon as the words left her lips Josuke was at the top of the stairs, barely hearing her final call of “You could at least say goodbye!” as he slammed his door closed, finally able to let out the breath he had been holding as he tossed his bag to the side of the room, flopping onto his bed. It felt so relaxing to not feel the older Joestar’s overwhelmingly piercing gaze on him. In his relief he barely even had time to mentally beat himself for being so obvious. He sighed, burying his face in his hands.  Fuck, now Jotaro was onto him. He wouldn’t be able to go on like this, not for long. Maybe if he just shoved it all down it would go away again! Like those religious people, the ones that ‘turned off’ all their negative emotions only to murder someone in their late 40’s or start a cult. Yeah, that sounded like a viable option. On second thought, maybe not. Josuke didn’t know if he was really a good enough public speaker to lead a cult, even if he had been almost uncomfortably popular with girls growing up. But regardless, all he had to do now was wait it out. With any luck, Jotaro wouldn't look too deep into his behavior and-

        Two firm but quiet knocks sliced through Josuke's train of thought, his head snapping over to his door in sudden panic. He stayed completely quiet, freezing in place. Maybe if he was quiet enough it would go awa-

        “I’m coming in.”

        Fuck.

        Josuke scrambled to get up as his door opened, Jotaro ducking slightly to get through the door. Josuke nearly began to hyperventilate, grabbing desperately for his bag before realizing it was out of Crazy Diamond’s range, his stand snapping back into his body as Jotaro stared down at him, one of his eyes completely covered by the brim of his hat as he approached his young uncle.

        “Is it an enemy stand?”

        “What? Pfft, no-”

        “Can you not say anything about it? Was it Rohan?”

        “I- no- I just-”

        “Your mother said Koichi saw you sneaking to his house, tell me what's happening.”

        “No it’s, I just…” Josuke stopped trying to protest, simply burying his face in his hands in defeat and despair. Upon seeing this Jotaro took a step back, running into his chair as he did his best to give his younger relative space, taking the opportunity to sit down. For a moment they sat there, Josuke doing his best to ignore the piercing blue eyes trained on his covered face.

        “I’m not in danger. If that’s what you're worried about.” Josuke offered weakly, a final attempt to get Jotaro to back off. Jotaro simply sighed, leaning back.

        "I can only help if I know what’s wrong.” He said, crossing his arms. Josuke suddenly felt like a small child being lectured by his father. Sometimes it was hard to remember that Jotaro was already a father, but every once in a while it came shining through. For a while Josuke wanted to resist, to be angry and indignant for being treated like a child. But to be quite honest, he almost liked feeling like he had a normal dad. Not that he could ever tell Jotaro that. But… maybe. Maybe it would be good for him to say something. After what happened with Okuyasu, he hadn’t felt that kind of relief since… well since the incident. If he could let someone in, just this once…

        “I’m gay.” 

        He felt the words fall from his lips before he could stop them. For a second it almost didn't feel real. Like he had never said it in the first place. Then came the wave, a massive crash of panic and relief and despair and elation. Like a million different things all hit him at once. All at once he wanted to take it back, to run, to explain, to vent, to just shout out all the noise buzzing around his brain. But instead he just stayed silent, eyes slowly trailing over to look at Jotaro who sat silently in his chair. After a moment of thought he sighed, unraveling his arms and tipping the brim of his hat.

        “Good grief. Is that it?”

        Is that… it? Josuke didn’t really know what kind of reaction he was expecting but that was not quite it.

        “I uh… Rohan wanted to read some of my experiences and he found out. He got kinda mad at me and has been trying to get me to come out to someone…” He admitted, arms wrapping over his chest defensively.  Jotaro nodded, his face unreadable. He awkwardly scooted closer to Josuke, tentatively reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder.

        “I’m… glad that you felt comfortable enough to tell me.” He grumbled, obviously trying his best to be supportive. Josuke felt a huge weight being lifted from his chest, nearly bringing tears to his eyes.

        “You… you don’t think it’s weird?” Josuke asked, still somewhat avoiding eye contact. Jotaro shook his head, giving him one of his rare smiles.

        “Trust me, I’ve seen stranger.”

        Before Jotaro could react Josuke dove forward, wrapping his arms around Jotaro’s massively broad chest. Jotaro was still for a second, trying to process what was happening as Josuke did his best not to cry. He was just so relieved he couldn't help himself. After a moment of trying to process, he wrapped his arms around the younger Joestar, giving him a, what he hoped was reassuring, pat on the back. For a moment Josuke felt whole. Like even if the man who saved him was never found, if Josuke could make Jotaro proud then maybe he would be too. Finally Josuke pulled away, whipping his nose in an attempt to hide how close he was to tears.

        “Thanks.” Josuke mumbled, giving Jotaro a genuine smile. Jotaro gave him a half-smile back, sighing.

        “You’re welcome. But, you really should tell your mother. I don’t know which she wants more, to kill you for making her worry so much or kill Rohan for whatever she thinks he’s doing to you.” Jotaro mentioned, shaking his head a bit. Josuke set his jaw a bit, shame washing over him.

        “But… what if she doesn’t accept me?” Josuke asked, fixing his hair self consciously. He was quiet now, like even just the thought was something forbidden. Like saying it out loud would make it true. Jotaro frowned.

        “Do you really think she won’t?”

        Josuke immediately felt his heart drop.

        “Well… no.”

        Jotaro sighed, tipping his cap a bit.

        “Even if she doesn’t… you’ll always be at home with us.” He mentioned, the ghost of an embarrassed blush appearing on his cheeks. Josuke felt his eyes widen, tears threatening to fall. He almost couldn't believe his ears. He felt so unworthy of the unconditional love he was so suddenly presented with, and from someone as stoic and unemotive as Jotaro… He whipped the tears away before they could fall, sniffling a bit.

        “I… yeah. Thanks.”

        “Then should I call her in?”

        “..... Yeah. I think so.”

        Jotaro gave Josuke a final supportive smile, getting up and ducking out of the room. For a while Josuke was alone, left to stew in his nervous thoughts. He nearly convinced himself to jump out the window by the time Tomoko entered the room, Jotaro not far behind. Before he knew what was happening he had already started talking, Everything he had been keeping from her over the past few weeks, all of his fears and insecurities, all came spilling out. He only noticed the tears falling down his face when they dripped from his chin onto his pant leg. By the time he was done he was staring down at his legs, biting down on his lip as he waited for a response.

        “Oh Josuke… you dumbass why would you make me worry over something like this?” She chided, clicking her tongue as she nearly tackled him into a hug. For a moment they just held each other, Tomoko shaking her head against her son's shoulder. Suddenly Josuke felt bad for even fearing she might not accept him. It almost seemed ridiculous now.

        “You aren't mad?” He asked quietly. Tomoko pulled away, grabbing his face.

        “Not one bit. Well, I’ll have to give up my dreams of wedding dress shopping but as long as you're happy, I think I can manage.”

        And just like that even winning the lottery seemed like nothing. He had found a feeling far better.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6: And into the Fire.

        As the teacher’s monotone droned on and on in a language Josuke could only barely understand he stared out across the room to the window, letting out a silent hum as he stared at the clear sky. After all his confessions he was feeling better than he had in a very long time, but all those bad feelings weren’t gone for good. He still felt a strange pang of fear as he stared into the open air and the calm city below. He let his arm fall to his side before suddenly feeling a light tug on his jacket sleeve. He felt his eyes widen, doing his best to act natural as he looked over to the desk beside him from the corner of his eye. Okuyasu seemed to be doing his best to control his breath, his hands shaking a bit as he looked over at the door, which had come slightly ajar. Josuke felt his breath hitch for a moment but with the weight of Okuyasu’s hand on his sleeve he felt safe. He let out a breath, shifting to intertwine his pinky with his friends, a warm bubble of comfort and strength rising to his chest, spreading throughout his torso and into his limbs.

        He looked over a bit more, Okuyasu's face partially covered by his hand. But the part he could see was a light scarlet, the tone deepening as their eyes met for a moment, Only for Okuyasu to look away and attempt to shift his hand to cover more of his blush. Josuke felt his heart skip a beat in his chest, doing his best to tear his eyes away to look out the window again. Something about the flush on his friend’s face stirred something in his chest, his own face heating up. But why? Why was Okuyasu so flustered, hell why was he? Maybe he was more embarrassed then he thought.

        As the bell rang signaling the end of the day Josuke let go of Okuyasu’s hand, his heart nearly leaping out of his chest in a desperate attempt to pull Josuke back towards his friend. Josuke did his best to ignore it, but after everything that had happened, he couldn’t help but think.

~*~

        “Hey guys!” The familiar childish voice called, Okuyasu turning over his shoulder and giving his short friend a massive smile. Josuke took the opportunity, studying his face as he greeted their friend. Okuyasu’s face was rough and jagged, the scars crossing his features that he would never let Josuke fix giving his naturally rugged features an even more dangerous edge. And yet when he smiled those things seemed to fade away, his massive grin sending shivers up Josuke’s spine as he looked at his eyes, small and nearly black but still filled with more emotion than Josuke could ever fathom. His eyelashes were almost enviously long, a stark contrast to the rest of his natural features. He felt his face heat up a bit as he scanned the rest of his face, his cute short nose, his harsh jawline, his coarse lips…

        “Josuke, you ok?” Koichi asked, his eyebrow raised in concern. As soon as he realized what he was doing Josuke snapped out of it, his face heating up as he did his best to laugh it off.

        “I’m doing great, why d’you ask?” He half lied, giving his friend a smile. Koichi looked at him for a moment, then at Okuyasu. He seemed to want to say something, but stopped himself, sighing instead.

        “Ah nothing. I’m glad you’re ok.” He said, giving him a supportive smile. Okuyasu seemed happy with that. “So, where are we goin today? And how was English?” He asked, starting the walk away from school.

        “It’s so confusing, I don’t understand why we have to learn it. It’s not like we’re ever moving to Europe or America. Do we really have to know this stuff?” Okuyasu complained, falling into his usual saunter. Josuke just shook his head, laughing to himself.

        “It’s important! It’s supposed to be a universal language!” Koichi argued.

        “And? Japanese is just fine.” Josuke insisted.

        “Hey, you especially should know it’s important, don’t you wanna talk to your dad?”

        “Ah, English is still overrated.”

        They continued their banter as they walked, laughing and joking as they went until Josuke came to a stop, staring at the house next to him. It took them a second to notice but Okuyasu and Koichi stopped too, finding themselves in front of Rohan’s house. Koichi and Okuyasu looked at each other in shared concern. Josuke felt the gears turn slowly in his mind, leading him to an inevitable but unideal conclusion. He should say thank you. He knew he should but he couldn’t help but feel more than a little indignant. On one hand he didn’t want to give the man more ammunition, on the other he already had more than enough to ruin his life three times over. And all from one reading. The more he thought about it, he never did get an answer. How was his sexuality at all related to the events with… Kira. He shivered a bit, shaking it off as best he could. Maybe he could ask him himself. Not that he expected him to help given the opportunity.

        “Uh, Josuke?”

        “You ok man?” Okuyasu asked, waving a hesitant hand in front of his face.

        “What? Oh, yeah, I just have to go talk to him for a second.” He watched as his friends froze up, Okuyasus face going from its usual smile to something unreadable. “It’ll only take a second I promise. Then we can go get some ice cream ok?” He asked, offering an unconvincing smile. Okuyasu’s face remained sedentary, his arms crossing. Josuke felt his heart leap into his throat. Koichi sighed, shaking his head.

        “Are you sure?”

        “Yeah, I just have to thank him for something. I’ll be back in a second, ok?” He promised, smiling back at them. Koichi looked over at Okuyasu, raising an eyebrow as they watched their friend walk away. Josuke knocked on the door, only having to wait for a second before it swung open. He looked into the house, watching as the small white stand floated away from him and into the kitchen back to his master, Josuke entering the house behind him. He didn’t feel like going any further, closing the door gingerly behind him.

        “Hey, uh, Rohan, I just wanted to uh-” He called out, peering into the kitchen to see Rohan glaring at a table with semi burnt bread, a poorly iced cake, and strangely flat cookies. “What is that?”

        “Koichi told me if I really wanted to understand an experience I had to live it. Suggested I started with baking. Damn waste of time if you ask me. So much easier to just read about it. But whatever. Did you do it?” He asked casually, quickly sketching out yet another angle on his drawing pad as if to catalog his failure in order to not make the same mistake again.

        “I… yeah. That’s why I came here, I wanted to uh, thank you.” Josuke admitted, his face twisted into an indignant pout. He didn’t want to seem overly grateful for fear of years and years of Rohan’s pompous gloating.

        “Right. Now get out I’m busy.” Rohan grumbled, continuing his examination. Josuke went to leave but paused, tapping his foot a bit. Rohan sighed, looking over at him with a tired glare. “Yes?”

        “What does this have to do with Kira?” Josuke blurted out, crossing his arms indignantly.

        “It doesn’t.” Rohan replied simply.

        “Then why did you go looking for it?”

        Rohan sighed, shaking his head and massaging his temple as he did his best to ignore the man standing in the doorway behind him.

        “I wasn’t looking for Kira, I was looking at the fight.”

        “B-but why would-”

        “God if you’re really this stupid then there’s no hope for you after all. It’s almost poetic, a moron falling for a moron. Now go away, I’m busy.” He insisted, his stand appearing before Josuke could react, Josuke's body moving on its own as the pen swiped over his face and steering him right out the door. The door slammed behind him with a thud, Josuke grumbling a few expletives as he felt the tab on his face close up, joining his two friends at the bottom in the yard. His brain was working overtime, trying to figure out what the hell he meant.

        “God I hate that guy.” Josuke complained, finding his friends with confused looks on their faces. “What?”

        “Ah, nothing! Let’s get going!” Koichi said, doing his best to act natural. Okuyasu on the other hand seemed to not be on that page yet.

        “And you’re sure we can’t kill ‘im?” Okuyasu asked, glaring at the building as Koichi began to drag the two of them down the street, a surprising feat from someone so much smaller than them. 

        “Come on, he’s not that bad.” Koichi tried to argue, finally letting them go as he felt them begin to walk on their own. Okuyasu clicked his tongue, glaring back at the house as he walked.

        “Koichi he stole parts of your face! And even now he won’t stop calling me a moron like he’s so much smarter, it’s bullshit.” Okuyasu complained, fists all balled up by his sides. In the back of Josuke’s mind, something began to shift. He narrowed his eyes, trying his best to focus. Something was falling into place, he just couldn’t quite see it yet.

        “Hey, look’t me,” Okuyasu mumbled, Josuke only noticing something was off when he felt Okuyasu's hand on his chin, turning his face in an attempt to look at the line of his jaw. He scanned it for a second, seeming to look for any sign of Rohan’s ability. Josuke felt his face flare up as he caught Okuyasu’s eyes. At that moment it all fell into place. 

        Mother fucker.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7: The Joestar Curse

        “Josuke!” The shout rang out across the harbor, immediately drawing the attention of anyone within hearing distance. Josuke could recognize the voice, but considering this was the first time he was meeting the woman attached to it he didn't expect the petite older blonde woman to practically throw herself into his arms, a bundle of smiles and cheerful giggles. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! God, I can’t believe I finally get to meet my little brother!” 

        Josuke did his best to go along with this new development, seeing from over his sister's shoulder that his father was also getting off the ship. He patted her back in an awkward attempt to show affection. He didn’t know how Holly could be so warm to someone she had never even met before, let alone how someone as open and enthusiastic as her could raise someone as cold and unreadable as Jotaro. But part of him suspected there was more of her in him than he’d care to admit.

        “It’s uh, nice to finally meet you Mrs-”

        “Please, call me Seiko, all my friends do! Unless you’d rather call me Mrs. Kujo, Dad said you still called him Mr. Joestar, oh I’m sorry am I making you uncomfortable?” She asked, suddenly pulling back like she was scared she had burned him.

        “Holly, her name is Holly! I named her Holly and it’s a good name.” Joseph called out, joining his children as they stood at the harbor.

        “We’ve been over this dad, we’re still in Japan and here-”

        “Yeah yeah.” He said quietly, shooing his hand at her as if to tell her he didn't need the lecture again. She shook her head, smiling happily at him.

        “I know it’s a bit of a short notice, but well Jotaro and his family are busy and when my mom has her mind set on something she won’t let anything get in her way. I think a girls weekend will be good for us, I’ll get to bond with Shizuka! Maybe she’ll even let me hold her without turning everything invisible!” Holly cheered, grinning from ear to ear. Josuke smiled back, unable to really help himself when her smile was so infectious.

        “It’s alright, I’ll keep him company while he’s here.” Josuke reassured, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. Holly reached up, pinching his cheek proudly.

        “Oh you remind me so much of my little Jotaro. You look so alike! Except for your hair, it really is as impressive as Jotaro said!” Josuke had to hold back a laugh at the very idea of Jotaro being anyone’s ‘little Jotaro’. He also couldn't help but feel a bit of pride in the compliment, from both Holly and Jotaro though he couldn’t help but feel that Jotaro’s might have been sarcasm and get a little angry.

        “Thanks. You should get goin tho, huh?” He mentioned, laughing nervously. Holly looked back at the boat and the Speedwagon employees awkwardly waited for her to be ready. She immediately seemed flustered, laughing a bit as she waved to them.

        “Oh I know, I’m sorry for bothering you but well, it was my first chance to come meet you in person and I just had to take it. I’ll be out of your hair now, take care of dad for me!” She called, giving her brother a final hug before moving to her father, giving him a final scolding to be good before rushing to get back on the boat. She gave the man rolling out Joseph's luggage a friendly wave as she got back to the deck. “Say hello to your mother for me, ok Josuke? Bye!”

        Within the minute everything was settled and Josuke and Joseph were waving as Holly and the ship began their journey back to Suzie Q, Josuke finally able to breathe a sigh of relief as she began to fade from view.

        “Great.” He mumbled, doing his best to keep his composure now that that awkward mess was over. He looked over to see his father still waving, finally looking over to his son with a smile on his face.

        “So how have you been?” He asked, his Japanese still somewhat shaky but seemingly better than before. This was going to be just great.

~*~

        Josuke quietly hummed along to a chipper song playing in his head, setting up his father's suitcase in his hotel room to make it easier for him to get his things. As he went he could see Joseph in the corner of his eye, looking around the room aimlessly until his eyes trained on his son. He seemed to stare straight through him for a moment, shaking his head.

        “What is it?”

        “What?” Josuke asked, freezing like a deer in the headlights.

        “Oh please, I know that look in your eye. I may be going senile but I still know things.” He said, laughing a bit. “And Shizuka has kept me on the top of my game. She’s been quite the trouble maker.” 

        “I… don't know what you mean.” Josuke insisted, his chest clamping up nervously.

        “How bout this, I make a guess then you let me know if I’m right.” Joseph insisted, settling down in his chair and placing his cane gingerly against the wall. Josuke wanted to protest, but knowing him Mr. Joestar would most likely pretend he couldn't hear him. He groaned, taking a seat on the hotel bed.

        “Ok.” he mumbled, trying to hide his face. His father simply laughed, crossing his arms.

        “Well well, let’s see. Knowing our bloodline, this must be a matter of the heart, no?” He asked, looking at his son knowingly. Josuke did his best to avoid eye contact, but even his massive hairdo couldn't hide his face for long. And what little could be seen Josuke knew was scarlet. Joseph let out a laugh, shaking his head. Suddenly his face seemed to fall, looking down at his cane. “Well… if you’d humor an old man for a while as he recounts a tale for you.”

        Josuke looked over at the old man, curiosity quickly overtaking his embarrassment as he leaned forward, preparing for his father's words. He hadn’t heard many stories of his father's youth but on the rare occasion he was caught reminiscing, well it wasn't something that should be brushed off so easily. Ever since his recounting of Egypt over half a year ago, Josuke had always wanted to learn more about his father. It could never make up for the time lost and the lives hurt but, it made Josuke remember that his father was a person, someone real who lived a more strange life then he will ever really know. Like he could finally grasp at bits and pieces of who his father was, and to some extent, who he was.

        “Well, don't tell Jotaro I told you all this. I think he wants to protect what hope you have, and part of me agrees with him. But it’s only a matter of time before you begin to see it yourself. But I suppose I should get to my story, right? My first love. It was so long ago, I can barely remember his face.” Joseph sighed, a sad smile crossing his lips, his wrinkled face seeming to scrunch up in pain. It took a minute for Josuke to even recognize what he just said. Josuke’s head snapped up as the realization hit him, staring at his father strangely. Had he just said ‘ his’ face? Maybe it was an accident. His Japanese was still rough after all. It can’t be that- “We didn’t know each other for all that long really. But I knew him well. His warmth, his passion, his soul. That I will always remember. We were tied by fate, he liked to say. I suppose it was fate that he would find the same fate as his grandfather. If he were still alive, he would be here with me. We would have faced the world together, him always by my side, keeping me out of trouble. My Caesar.” He hummed, a slightly shaking hand over his heart.

        “You… like men too?” Josuke asked in a whisper, hands shoved into the gap between his crossed legs like a child in kindergarten. He was almost scared to ask but he had to know. Joseph laughed, seemingly amused by his son's intrigue and secrecy.

        “Beauty has no gender, so why should love?” He asked, still chuckling. Josuke thought about it for a minute. He wasn’t wrong, he supposed. And knowing someone as tough as Mr.Joestar used to be wasn't exactly straight either, well it made him feel better. Even if not by much. “I wish you could have met him. He was strong, and tough, and so stubborn he even rivaled me sometimes. Which is to say quite a bit. Our grandfathers fought together over a hundred years ago. They were close, close enough for his grandfather to have given his life for mine. But he wasn't even the first. My great grandmother lost her life too. So did my father. My grandfather lost his father and his mother and his brother, and his friend, but me… I lost my Caesar. He died for me. And I’ve never loved another man the same since. But he wasn’t the last I’ve lost to the Joestar curse.”

        Josuke was taken aback for a moment. He could barely comprehend what his father was implying. 

        “You mean to tell me that… that we’re cursed? No way. You’re just trying to freak me out, right?” Josuke insisted, a shiver creeping down his spine as he leaned back. The idea of being cursed was almost too creepy to consider seriously. Joseph just sighed, crossing his arms.

        “We Joestars live a dangerous life. It only makes sense we bring danger to those we love. Do you remember my recountings of Egypt? Muhammad Avdol and Noriyaki Kakyoin? Even Iggy. Dear friends to both Jotaro and I, good men who stuck with us until their end. They too died for us. For a cause, we led them to. I live every day knowing that those men died in my place. Sometimes I wish I could have died instead. Avdol or Caesar would be far better at all of this than me. But it’s a selfish wish.” He paused, glancing back down at his cane. “For years I believed in that curse. That it was my fault for their passing. I’m afraid I passed that belief onto Jotaro as well. For years I thought it was all true but… then you happened.”

        “M-me?” Josuke asked, his eyes wide. His mind was reeling, just doing his best to process everything he had been told. This was so much information it was taking everything in him to not ask him to slow down, to explain. But he knew it was better to just let his father talk. And for the first time, he was in one of these rants his father tended to go on. It made him feel strangely special.

        “Yes. I thought for sure last year would see the curse visit you as well. And in some ways, it did. And yet…” He paused, smiling wistfully at his son. “Your friend is still alive, isn’t he? That… Osomatsu.” 

        “You mean Okuyasu?” Josuke asked, his face heating up a bit.

        “Yes yes, Okuyasu. He’s still alive, is he not? He did just as they did, devoted himself to you the same way my Caesar devoted himself to me. Hell, if I’m being honest the second I saw him I thought he was a goner but… he’s still here. And at the end of the day so is Suzy. So is my Holly. So is Jotaro. And now, my little Shizuka and Jotaro’s little one Jolyne. I’ve spent so long focusing on those I’ve lost that I’ve forgotten how grateful I am for those who are still here.” Joseph sighed, slowly getting up and shuffling over to his young son as he sat cross-legged on the bed, eyes wide and mouth hung agape. He placed a delicate hand on his shoulder, smiling at him fondly. “If you really love someone, let them know. Maybe the curse is real. Maybe they’ll be hurt. But, my grandfather was also victim to it, so was my father. And my mother and grandmother always used to say they didn't regret a thing. Granny Erina once told me, ‘It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’ I don’t think I ever really understood it until Egypt. And even if you can’t now, I hope someday, you’ll get it too. Hopefully sooner than I did.” He laughed, going back to his chair. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a small bottle. As he unscrewed the tip, he revealed a bubble wand, covered in the soapy fluid of the bottle. He offered it to his son, giving him a warm smile.

        “Come, I have lots more stories to tell.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 8: Close but no Cigar

        This was unbelievably awkward. At least, Josuke thought it was. He could barely focus on the game they were playing because every time he wasn't focusing on keeping himself as still as possible, before he even realized something was wrong he found himself leaning over, shoulder bumping against his friends as they battled on screen. He did his best to ensure his friends' ignorance, but Okuyasu could be deceptively clever when it came to some things. Luckily he wasn’t exactly a genius at this game, so even while multitasking it was fairly easy to hold off his attacks. But every time he got too into the game and lost himself in the ebb and flow of the fight he would suddenly feel his friends bare shoulder brush against his own and his chest would clamp up as his heart made a mad dash for his throat, giving Okuyasu the perfect opportunity to get yet another hit on him. It was strange. They'd been this close before. Many times before. But after coming to his own set of realizations, every interaction had a strange new weight to it, but not one that was completely unpleasant. There was a deep-set part of him that longed for the touch, that shiver up his spine and the heat of his friend’s body. But the rest of him was scared that if he gave in his friend could see his feelings just as clearly as he felt it.

        “KO, player 1 wins!” The deep voice of the announcer rang out, finally pulling Josuke back to the game at hand. He wasn’t surprised at the win, Okuyasu always did better with shoot em ups then fighting games.

        “Ah, it’s not fair! You’re too good at this!” Okuyasu complained, slouching over as he watched Josuke’s chosen fighter strike a gloating pose at his downed warrior.

        “Well yeah, I own the console, don’t I? It only makes sense I’d win.” Josuke reasoned, grinning as his friend pouted. He tossed his controller at Josuke, grunting a bit as he got up. Josuke raised an eyebrow, letting out a small laugh. “What, giving up already?”

        “You wish. Water's boiling.” Okuyasu grumbled, sticking a tongue out at his friend as he left for the kitchen. Josuke sighed, turning off the system before climbing to his feet. He listened as Okuyasu mumbled to himself, ruffling through the bags he had brought from his house for the noodles he had taken from Tonio’s. Josuke smiled to himself a bit, peering around the door to watch Okuyasu cook, the young man’s face scrunched up in concentration. Anyone else would immediately take his furrowed brows and cocked head as a look of frustration but Josuke knew better. There was a gleam in his eye that seemed to spark up whenever he finished a step, the corners of his mouth twitching a bit into a distracted smile before falling back to its usual slack-jawed mumbling. Josuke smiled as he watched his friend work, face heating up as he thought about it more and more.

        He wished more than anything that he could see this every night. That he could join in, distracting him as best he could with sudden kisses and watching him struggle to keep his focus as he wandered around looking for ingredients. Come to think of it this was the first time he had ever imagined a future the way he wanted, at least a realistic one. Well, realistic is a bit of a stretch. It’s not like Okuyasu would ever feel the same way about him. But god was it a nice thought. But he couldn’t just let himself stand there in the doorway like a creeper.

        “Ah, thanks again for cooking. I don’t know how much my mom will like that I’m not catering to your every whim but I appreciate it.” Josuke mentioned, awkwardly sliding into the room and taking a seat at the table. Okuyasu let out a snort, looking back at him with a wide smile.

        “Come on, we both know ‘f I didn’t you’d starve.” He mentioned, giving the sauce a quick stir, doing his best to get in all the corners as it simmered. Josuke rolled his eyes, the sudden thought of Okuyasu as a doting housewife crossing his mind. He let out a small laugh, his face flushing a bit.

        “Hey, I can make cereal, that’s good enough.” he insisted, crossing his arms with an indignant smirk. Okuyasu let out another laugh, giving the noodles another stir before sitting down across from Josuke. He settled into his seat with a small huff, faining exhaustion as he pretended to swoon in his seat.

        “Oh, and cooking ‘s so hard, I must really be a good friend if ‘m puttin in all this effort-”

        “You are a good friend. The best I think.” Josuke said, placing a hand on the table with a shy grin. Okuyasu's eyebrows shot up, a dopey grin settling on his face as his cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink. He shimmied up in his seat, kicking at the floor a bit as his blush deepened.

        “Well, I may have been over-exaggerating a ‘lil, I don’t mind cooking for you. I actually kinda like tak-” Suddenly the shrill ring of the egg timer shattered whatever hope was building up in Josuke's chest, ripping his heart out along with it as Okuyasu sprung up, cursing himself quietly as he rushed to find a colander. God, what was he thinking? He was being too open, too obvious about this. He had to be more careful or Okuyasu would get weirded out and run. And a life with an oblivious Okuyasu was better than a life with no Okuyasu at all. That fantasy of a future with him was just that, a fantasy. And he couldn’t let himself make any more mistakes. By the time the pasta was strained and Okuyasu was pouring the sauce over the freshly cooked noodles Josuke was already psyching himself up for a night of complete and total restraint.

        “Whew, ‘nd there we go! I don’t think It’ll be as good as Tonios but uh, ‘ere you try it out and tell me.” Okuyasu offered, giving his friend the plate he had prepared. Before he ate himself, he peered over at Josuke and his plate, as if he had to wait for Josuke's approval to be able to sit down to eat himself. It was so strange, the mix of childishness and maturity that seemed to constantly coexist in his friend. In so many ways he was far more mature than Josuke, taking control of his home and supporting his father and Stray Cat with the savings he had, doing his best to learn to budget and save so he could afford the renovations his house desperately needed while learning more skills to care for those around him, taking lessons from Tonio and whatever contractors he could get to take time out of their work to learn to cook and fix his own problems. Even now Okuyasu was taking care of Josuke, making sure to cook a meat-heavy bolognese after hearing from Tomoko that Josuke had been experiencing symptoms of Iron deficiency. And yet at the same time he had a shy, emotional, childish nature that no matter how much time passes never seemed to fade. It was one of his favorite things about Okuyasu. And it was probably the reason that even after all his talk, he couldn't help but feel his heart melt. God he felt pathetic. He didn't know if he could get through this night, not the way it was going. Not sober at least.

        He tore his eyes from Okuyasu, spinning up the spaghetti and taking a large bite. He couldn't help but smile as he chewed. Damn, Okuyasu was getting good. It only took him a moment of eating for his eyes to travel to the cabinet that hadn’t been touched for over a year. He gave Okuyasu a nod and an enthusiastic smile as the gears began to turn in his brain. Okuyasu smiled back, his face flushing as he got his own plate. Maybe the perfect distraction was right in front of him. Perhaps he should offer his guest some refreshments.

~*~

        Okuaysu leaned against the wall as he watched Josuke poor them both a small glass of the whiskey he had found in the cupboard. He kicked at the floor nervously, peering over at the glasses, his face twisting into a look of concern and a bit of disgust. He didn't like this. He really really didn’t like this. Maybe it was because his first experience had been alcohol being injected directly into his veins mid-fight but he didn’t have the best feeling in his gut when Josuke had promptly stood from their meal and walked over to the locked cabinet, his stand easily ripping it off its hinges to pull out a bottle of his grandfather's old whiskey. He didn’t know which was worse, the strange unsettled feeling of disturbing a dead man’s things or the creeping suspicion that Josuke's newfound urgency was caused by whatever had been making him so upset. He did his best to keep his composure, he trusted Josuke more than anything else in this world. But his protectiveness seemed to battle that stance at every turn, screaming that he needed to confront Josuke about this and swipe the whiskey out of existence before he could feel it’s effects. But he was resolute. He trusted Josuke. But that didn’t mean he couldn't ask questions, did it?

        “And you're sure it’s safe? That it hasn’t gone bad or sumthin?” He asked, still peering into the golden liquid.

        “What? Yeah, alcohol can’t go bad. It’s alcohol.” Josuke scoffed, a nervous smile crossing his face. He didn’t seem to know himself, but if Josuke said it was safe then it was safe. End of question.

        “And you don’t think your gramps would mind?” Okuyasu asked, craning his neck to get a better view of Josuke’s face. Josuke froze, staring down at the liquid with a strange, worried look on his face. After a moment he screwed the cap back on the bottle, placing it down on the counter next to him and thrusting one of the glasses at Okuyasu.

        “I.. I dunno. But he wouldn’t want it to go to waste I don’t think.” Josuke mentioned, picking up the glass and swishing it around, staring down at it. He hesitated for a moment, giving the glass an almost hopeless look before he suddenly tossed it back, drinking half the glass in one gulp. Okuyasu's eyes went wide, immediately going to put down his glass to check if his friend was alright. He had filled the cups up almost full, and he wasn’t an expert but that seemed like a whole lot. But then again Josuke was much smarter than he was. Maybe it was ok…

        Josuke stood for a moment, blinking before he staggered back a bit. Okuyasu was immediately at his side, trying his best to keep him stable. Josuke shook his head seemingly still recovering from the shock to his system. Okuyasu kept a steady hand on his chest and back, concern twisting his features as he silently cursed himself for not taking the booze away from him in the first place.

        “Oi, Josuke, you ok?” He asked, again craning his neck to get a better view of his friend’s face. Josuke blinked a few times again, turning to face Okuyasu only to find them face to face, noses nearly touching. Okuyasu felt his face heat up, regret panging through him at being too close and making his friend uncomfortable but finding himself unable to move. He felt their breath intermingle in the air, his heart skipping a beat to match Josuke’s ever-increasing heart rate. He could see every detail of his friend’s features, the small scars that scattered his face from their various battles, each of them sending a pang through Okuyasu’s chest as he counted them one by one. He knew where each of them came from, a big swipe across his cheek from Superfly, a slight dip in his eyelid from Harvest, speckles across his cheekbone from Bad Company, even small remnants from Surface, Rohan and even Jotaro’s first punch. All of them cutting across Josuke’s perfect features, a beautiful reminder of what he had fought and how much he had suffered. They were so close. It really wouldn't take much to close the gap right there, to cut through the whiskey tainted breath and find his way onto Josuke’s lips like he had fantasized about so much. He felt his breath catch in his throat, feeling Josuke's heartbeat through the thin fabric of his shirt. He felt himself inch closer, unable to stop himself before-

        Josuke tore himself away,  taking a sudden second swig from the glass and downing the rest of it. His face was bright red from the small bit Okuyasu could see, Okuyasu’s heart pulling him forward to check only for him to stop himself before he touched Josuke again. Josuke had moved away. He didn’t want him. Okuyasu felt his heart crack as he pulled back, looking over at the glass. You know, drinking didn’t sound so bad anymore. Okuyasu took a swig, cringing at the strength of the alcohol. He didn’t know how Josuke had downed so much in one go. He really was better than him in every way. Josuke’s hands shook a bit as he poured another glass nearly to the brim. Finally he took a deep breath, turning back to smile at Okuyasu, his face still massively flushed.

        “Yeah, I’m ok.” He said, giving his friend an unsure and increasingly intoxicated grin. Okuyasu was almost entirely unconvinced but well, he trusted Josuke. And if Josuke said he was ok, if Josuke didn’t want to let him in, then maybe Okuyasu didn’t deserve to be let in. He gave him a small, ingenuine smile, taking another swig from the glass. The alcohol hit him like a train but he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. Maybe with enough of the stuff he could forget just how unworthy he was. Or at the very least he could numb the hurt.

        It didn’t take them long to down the whole bottle. By the end of it Josuke was drinking straight from the bottle itself, unable to keep his hand steady enough to pour the liquor into the glass. Okuyasu, while not having had as much booze was still feeling its effects in full, stumbling into the living room and uselessly wandering around, searching for something to do with whatever was left of his foggy, inebriated mind. As he poked around he noticed Josuke enter the room, hiccuping as he nearly fell into the TV. He let out a small laugh, plopping onto his knees and shuffling through the basket in the TV stand.

        “Oi, Oku, I’m gonna show you sumthin.” Josuke mumbled, pulling through the basket of VHS tapes before finally finding the one he was looking for, smiling at it fondly. Okuyasu looked over, a smile forming as he caught a glimpse of his friend’s satisfied expression. He shuffled over, plopping down next to him on the floor. Without thinking he leaned over, poking at the tape.

        “What’sit of?” He slurred, smiling as he tried to read the English writing on the side through foggy eyes. He could read the first letter, a G, but the rest of it could have been greek for all he could tell.

        “I’s a… well… Maybe this’s a bad idea.” He mumbled, letting his arm fall. Okuyasu reached out without thinking, accidentally knocking the tape out of his hand. He quickly fumbled over it, snatching up the tape and holding it over the player.

        “Nu uh, we’re watching this and tha’s final.” He insisted, drunkenly sticking the tape into the player as best he could. “Now what’sit of.”

        “I’s stupid but… well… i’s a musical. An American one, s’ called Grease. I dunno what it’s sayin most th’ time but ‘s my favorite. But don’t tell ‘nyone I watch musicals, ’m already obvious enough ‘s it is.” He mumbled, pouting for a moment before the tape began to play, his pout fading into a loose smile as the overture began. Okuyasu didn’t have the mental fortitude to think about what was so bad about Josuke’s love of musicals. Musicals weren’t exactly Okuyasu's cup of tea but as a kid every once in a while his dad would pass out drunk in front of the TV while they still had it and Okuyasu would watch whatever happened to be on until the sun came up, weird nonsensical musicals included. He thought the random singing was awkward but the happy endings always made him smile. For a minute in his drunken haze he looked at Josuke, wondering if he’d ever done something similar. He decided no one who turned out that handsome would stay up that late as a kid. Keicho always warned him that it was called beauty sleep because the more you slept the prettier you got. He thought for a while that Keicho was just lying to make him go to bed early but now looking at Josuke, no mere genetics could do that handiwork. 

        As the movie went on Josuke drunkenly sang along to almost all the songs. His singing voice wasn’t exactly the smoothest, he was pitchy on the high notes and his words were slurred and mixed with random Japanese interjections when he couldn’t keep his mind focused enough to even attempt the English. But from how well he kept up with all the songs Okuyasu could tell he’d watched the movie a hundred times or more. At about the halfway point Okuyasu felt the tickly sensation of hair brushing against his shoulder, suddenly realizing that Josuke was slowly falling over onto him. He craned his neck to rest his head on Josukes a bit, doing his best to hum along with the peppy music that played as the strangely dressed teens flounced around the screen. Okuyasu could barely keep track of the story, the bits and pieces he could put together involved someone with a significantly less impressive pomp than Josuke being mean to a blonde girl he was dating because his friends were all too into cars. It seemed like a strange thing for Josuke to like but the music was catchy enough. As Josuke mumbled the lyrics to yet another strange song, one where the nice blonde girl seemed sad about something, Okuyasu felt Josuke's hand travel down his arm, their fingers linking together. Okuyasu gulped, his face flushing. At this point some of the alcohol had begun to fade from his mind and he was no longer drunk enough to ignore the feelings that rose from his chest to infect what little of a rational mind he had left.

        “Ya know, I always imagined as a kid that the guy who saved me had his own adventures. Jus’ like this. A girl to win ‘nd cool cars to race. And in the end e’d go flying off into ‘is own happy ending.” 

        “Dude, spoilers.” Okuyasu grumbled, still trying to focus on the movie a bit before he realized the gravity of what his friend had just said, what little drunken attention he had suddenly focused on Josuke.

        “Jus’ wish we could do that. No more worrin bout… cats…. N…” Josuke mumbled, falling in and out of sleep. As the final song began to play and the alcohol began to fade a bit more from Okuyasu’s mind Josuke began his final rendition, a couple little notes and sounds, tapping his foot along to the music. Okuyasu froze as he saw Josuke’s arm raise, his hand clasping his friends’ cheek and he turned to face him. For the second time that night, they were so close to one another, the alcohol on Josuke’s breath and the heat of his face hit Okuyasu in waves, unable to process what was happening. He could feel the alcohol losing its effects as they stared at each other. Josuke closed his eyes, his eyebrows twisted in regret. “‘S was a mistake.”

        Suddenly he doubled over, vomiting onto the carpet and falling over on his side, groaning as he clutched his stomach.

        “Josuke!” Okuyasu gasped, immediately crawling over to check on him. Josuke groaned again, a bit of spittle dripping down his face. “Jeez you ok? I shoulda stopped you from drinkin so fast, god ‘m such an idiot.”

        “Never drnk whiskey agn.” Josuke mumbled, his hair completely undone and wild, forming a messy curly mess on his sweatsoaked forehead. “Head hrts.”

        “Oh shit, I don’t think you’re supposed ‘ta fall asleep but uh, shit.” Okuyasu mentioned, panic rising in his chest. He knew he wasn’t smart enough to deal with this, not by a long shot. Even if he was sober he wouldn’t know what to do. His mind raced. Keicho had never gotten this drunk, and leaving Josuke alone like they’d done with his dad wasn’t an option. After another bout of panic he stopped, looking at the phone. He couldn’t call Tomoko, and Koichi was probably already asleep. But he had to call someone. Quick, who was the smartest person he could think of?

        “Josuke, why are you calling so late?”

        “Um, hey Mr.Kujo.”

        “Okuyasu? What’s happening?”

        “Uh it’s a long story, just don’t tell Tomoko.”

        “Good grief.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 9: Not a Shojo Author

        “Rohan!” Josuke shouted, banging on the door like his life depended on it. He immediately regretted it, slamming his hands over his ears and squishing the edges of his mother's sunglasses into his head. God had drinking been a mistake. And he thought his post-Shigechi hangover was bad. This was a whole new level of regret. He had woken up that morning, head throbbing and face to face with a sleeping Okuyasu. He was wrapped in a blanket, a wet cloth over his forehead and with water, bread, and a bucket set out for him, which he very quickly had to make use of. It looked like Okuyasu had planned on watching him through the night but had simply passed out, still sitting on the ground with his head and arms resting on Josuke’s bed. It took him a while to remember what had happened, just staring at his sleeping friend as the shame and regret began to marinate in his head. He couldn't even begin to imagine why Okuyasu had stayed. Why hadn’t he just taken the opportunity to head home and never talk to him again? That’s what he would've done if some wackjob got drunk and started coming onto him. God, he’d become a drunk wackjob coming onto people. His mom wouldn't be back from her teacher conference until that night, so in a panic and not wanting to face Okuyasu Josuke had done his best to use crazy diamond to clean the carpet better than Okuyasu's sloppy late-night attempt with a towel and left a note thanking Okuyasu before sprinting out of the house and quickly finding his way to the only place his hungover mind could think to go, Rohans.

        “What do you… what the hell happened to you?” Rohan asked, his eyebrow shooting up. Josuke glared at Rohan, letting out a self-conscious huff and doing his best to fix his sloppily done hair.

        “Thanks for the concern.” Josuke mumbled, venom in his tone. Rohan rolled his eyes, standing aside for Josuke to come in. Josuke marched in, immediately trying to find the softest, most shaded seat in his living room. Rohan rolled his eyes, leaning against the wall and waiting for Josuke to explain.

        “I’m guessing something went wrong?” He asked, remaining nonchalant as he glared at the younger boy. Josuke was annoyed but considering he came to Rohan hungover and desperate and by some miracle was let in, he didn’t exactly have any room to complain.

        “Yes.” He mumbled, crossing his arms and pouting like a petulant child. Rohan sighed, sitting down across from him, crossing his legs dramatically. He seemed to peer down his nose at Josuke, partially disgusted but not completely unsympathetic.

        “Are you going to tell me or are you just going to sit there like an idiot.” He asked. Josuke glared at him under his mother’s glasses before groaning, finally giving in.

        “I got drunk and hit on Okuyasu.” Josuke admitted quietly, regretting literally everything about his life up to that point. Here he was, in the den of his most hated rival, admitting to hitting on his friend while his brain angrily protested every thought that crossed his mind. It was all too much to process.

        “... and?” Rohan asked, eyebrow raised.

        “AND? Are you kidding me? God I screwed up so bad, how am I supposed to explain this to him?” Josuke asked, immediately regretting his loud tone as his brain throbbed against his skull.

        “You tell him how you feel.” Rohan answered simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

        “Are you kidding me? No! I can’t just… just TELL him that… no!” He argued, doing his best to express just how bad this all seemed to him. Rohan was unconvinced.

        “Have you told Koichi yet?”

        “No.”

        Rohan sighed, shaking his head. “Look if you aren’t going to tell him I don't know what you want me to do.” 

        For a moment Josuke sat, dumbfounded. He really didn’t know what he wanted at all. For a brief moment the thought came to him to ask Rohan to write away his homosexuality entirely, but realistically that probably wouldn’t work. And really, he didn’t want it gone. This part of him was scary and strange but it was undeniably part of him. Then came the thought to get rid of his feelings for Okuyasu. That was probably something Rohan could do. It would solve so many problems. Life would be so much simpler, he could hang out with his friends without being on guard all the time, he wouldn't have to worry about the inevitable rejection. But his mind couldn't help but wander to Okuyasu’s smile. His strange habit of mumbling to himself when he was focused. His eyes, his laugh, his blush. Josuke felt his chest explode with warmth as he remembered waking up and staring into Okuyasu’s face, how thoughtful he had been to take care of him. Josuke wanted so badly to hold onto that feeling, to cherish it. He couldn't imagine having it taken away. 

        “I… well…” He mumbled, his brain feeling like mush as he tried to put it all together.

        “If I was you I’d get it over with all at once, like ripping off a bandaid.” Rohan mentioned, preening his nails.

        “You rip off bandaids all at once?” Josuke asked, rubbing his skin defensively at the thought of it. Rohan just narrowed his eyes at Josuke.

        “You know what I mean. Or maybe you’re dumber than I thought.” He hissed. Josuke just rolled his eyes.

        “Great. This is my best shot, isn’t it.” Josuke complained, his head throbbing too badly for him to give in to the dread brewing in his stomach. Rohan sighed.

        “Well, at least you're finally seeing reason.” 

        “Well, how do I confess?” Josuke mumbled, almost afraid to ask.

        “What?”

        “Well you said I should confess, what do I do?”

        “Well I don't know I’m not a part of your weird relationship.” Rohan argued, taken aback by Josuke’s sudden compliance.

        “Look I’m sick and tired of this, I can't do this to him anymore. It’s not fair to either of us and it doesn’t matter how scared I am, he deserves better.” Josuke mumbled, his face heating up. He knew Okuyasu’s past. He knew how much his brother had lied to him and kept from him. And he was determined to not be the same. He had been so caught up in himself he hadn’t been thinking about Okuyasu’s feelings, but after last night narcissism was a luxury he could no longer afford.

        “Well, I don't know. If you hadn’t noticed I’m not exactly a hopeless romantic, just tell him.” Rohan said, glaring at him.

        “But, I have to do something. Something to prove I’m serious.” Josuke insisted, crossing his arms.

        “Well why are you talking to me about this then? Ask someone else. I’ve helped to the extent of our deal, you can go now.” Rohan mentioned, getting up.

        “Hey, you’re the one who did this to me the least you could do is help me see it through!” Josuke argued, sitting up and tearing off the rhinestone glasses in a dramatic flare, quickly regretting his decision and sliding them back on. It was still far too bright.

        “See it through? The only thing I HAVE to do is write my manga and you don’t exactly look like a manuscript. And besides, even if you were my responsibility I’m NOT a romance author. I don’t do gushy lovey-dovey crap.” Rohan insisted.

        “And yet you still told me what I was knowing that this is where it would lead!” Josuke insisted, doing his best to raise his voice without irritating his headache.

        “And? What are you implying? That I have some stake in your relationship?” Rohan asked, glaring him down with strange veracity.

        “Yes!” Josuke announced, crossing his arms. Rohan was taken aback for a moment, the full force of the ironic Deja Vu hitting him.

        “What the hell are you going on about?”

        “You want me to get into a relationship because deep deep down in your black little soul you care about me. I think you even see some of yourself in me, and you want me to succeed! Right?”Josuke accused, getting up and poking his hand into Rohan's chest. He was talking almost completely out of his ass, but the more he talked the more it sounded right. “You certainly aren't helping me for my sake, and you’re about the opposite of a humanitarian so it has to be that you have some emotional stake in all this. And I think it’s because you want to prove that someone like us can be happy.”

        “I don’t know who you think you’re talking to but you are dead wrong.”

        “Then why are you helping me?”

        “I don’t have to explain myself to you!” He sputtered, his stand materializing behind him. Josuke huffed, crossing his arms.

        “Fine. You don’t care. I’m wrong, you're right. All hail the great and powerful Rohan, who’s never emotional or wrong about anything.” Josuke spat, marching to the door as he did his best to look serious with the bedazzled sunglasses still on his face. Rohan went to argue but shut his mouth, seething as he slammed the door behind Josuke as he left. Josuke sighed, putting his head in his hands. He felt like he was right, in fact he was almost sure he was. But knowing Rohan, he would never admit to relating to Josuke in any way shape or form. Maybe he had been too intense, but honestly right now he couldn't think about it for long enough to regret his actions. It just felt good to get it all out.

        “Josuke? Is that you?” Josuke froze, immediately reaching to cover his hair before his face. Koichi ran down the sidewalk, stopping in front of Rohan’s house. “What… what happened?”

        “You may not want to go in there, he isn’t in a very good mood.” Josuke grumbled sourly, shuffling over to Koichi in hungover defeat.

        “But… Why were you here? Josuke I’m trying to be understanding but you’re really scaring me.” Koichi admitted, crossing his arms. “You can’t just keep me in the dark like this.”

        “Argh, I know.” Josuke mentioned, squatting down partially to be on Koichi’s level and partially to give his body a rest. “I just… Look it’s complicated and I just… do you promise you won’t think I’m… weird?” He asked quietly, hand partially covering his face.

        “Well, I can’t promise that but I can promise I’ll be here for you no matter what, you just have to be honest with me. Josuke please, you can trust me.” Koichi pleaded, bending over a bit in an attempt to see his friend's face. Josuke felt his face heat up, keeping it under his hands. He still wasn’t ready. He was still absolutely terrified. But after everything that had happened…

        “I’m gay.”

        “Oh. Well, that’s, uh-”

        “I’m gay for Okuyasu.”

        “Oh. Wow. I… didn’t see that coming. I probably should have.” He admitted, laughing nervously. “I always thought it was the other way around!”

        “What?” Josuke asked, taken completely aback. 

        “Yeah, I always thought he might have a crush on you because you got so close so quickly. I guess it makes sense either way.” Koichi admitted. “At least I know what Yukako meant when she said the two of you were always flirting.”

        “WHAT?” Josuke asked again, nearly falling over as he struggled to take in this new information. Not only had Yukako seen straight through him, but she and Koichi also thought Okuyasu was the gay one. Or at the very least the bi one. It was almost comical. But not only that, Koichi made it all seem so… normal.

        “You… don't care? That I’m…” Josuke mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. Again he felt ridiculous. Each time it had gotten all built up in his head that his friends and family would turn on him the second they found out but, none had. Not to say that the others wouldn’t but, his friends were good people. And his family loved him. The more he thought about it the more he realized how much he had catastrophized it all.

        “Well, I can’t say it hasn’t come as a shock but it doesn’t change how I think about you. You’re still my friend, no matter what.” He said, smiling brightly. Josuke was almost hungover enough to let himself cry. He wrapped his friend in a big hug, Koichi taking a second but reciprocating. After a second he patted his back, signaling for Josuke to let go. Josuke did reluctantly, wiping his eyes under his glasses. 

        “Thanks.” Josuke offered, sniffling a bit. Koichi gave his friend a kind smile but looked him up and down again, adjusting one of his pins to straighten it.

        “Of course, but why are you here? And what happened?” He asked, head cocked like a puppy. Josuke sighed, shaking his head.

        “It’s a long story.” Josuke admitted.

        “Well, I have time. Let’s go to Rengatei though, I don’t think Rohan will like us being here for much longer.” Koichi said, pulling Josuke up with a sympathetic smile.

        “Ah, good point. Alright, let’s go.” Josuke admitted, letting his short friend lead him away.

~*~

        “-And that’s when you showed up.” Josuke finished, finally taking a sip of his steadily melting milkshake. Koichi let out a sigh, taking another sip of his cola.

        “Woah. That doesn’t sound good. Rohan probably won’t let you come over for a few months.” He admitted, crossing his arms as he thought. Josuke groaned, letting his head fall to the table’s cloth-covered surface with a thud. His head was feeling a bit better but now the regret and shame were starting to really sink in.

        “Great. Now he hates me even more than before. But my real problem is Okuyasu, what do I do? I have to apologize, god I can never face him again.” He groaned, sobbing into the table dramatically. Koichi looked down at him, sighing sympathetically.

        “Hey, he still took care of you, didn’t he? I’m sure he won’t hold it against you, just tell him wh-”

        “Nooooooo~” Josuke groaned, shaking his head into the table. “I can’t, he’ll get all grossed out and won’t talk to me ever again. Maybe he already has.” Josuke lamented dramatically. Koichi looked unamused.

        “Come on, you should just talk it through. I know you know that. I wish I could help you out here but well, I’m still not very good at all of this. If it wasn’t for Yukako I probably wouldn’t have gotten into a relationship at all. I have no clue how to approach someone like that.” He admitted, blushing as he thought about his terrifying girlfriend.

        “Man maybe I do have hope, you’re dating a woman who literally kidnapped you.” Josuke teased, doing his best to refix his hair as he sat up. Koichi laughed a bit, taking another sip of his drink.

        “Well, she proved to me that she had changed and will keep improving as time goes by. And besides, it's not all that bad to have someone so willing to care for you.” Koichi argued, crossing his arms indignantly.

        “I still think she messed with your brain but, you're not wrong.” Josuke mumbled as his face began to heat up, thinking back to Okuyasu from the night before, cooking for him, taking care of him when he was too drunk to take care of himself. It was unfair to him but he couldn’t deny it made his chest feel warm every time he thought about his friend tucking him into bed and watching him to make sure he was ok throughout the night.

        “Well, whatever way you decide to tell him, I’ll support you.” Koichi affirmed, his legs kicking innocently as he happily took another sip of his drink.

        “Thanks.” Josuke sighed, smiling back. It was nice to know that Koichi had his back no matter what. Jotaro was right, he really was a reliable guy.

        “OI, JOSUKE!!” The yell broke through Josuke's newfound calm, his chest clamping up. He knew that voice immediately. The same voice he had been both dreading and longing to hear all morning shattered the calm of the cafe, followed by loud panting as Okuyasu came to a halt by their table, immediately collapsing as his hands slammed onto the table. He hung to it as he squatted on the ground, trying his best to catch his breath. Josuke’s eyes went wide, mouthing a plea of help to Koichi as his friend attempted to avoid eye contact. Okuyasu was still in what he had fallen asleep in, his hair messy and down, well, as down as his relatively short hair could be. It took him a minute but eventually he stood up, re slamming his hands down on the table.

        “JOSUKE! God I was so worried, I ‘jus closed my eyes for a second and when I opened them it was already mornin’ and you weren't there! So I ran around your house and then I found your note but it was all messy so I could barely read it ‘nd I thought it might be a ransom note so ’ve been running around tryin’ to find you and, oh hi Koichi.” He finished, his words coming out in an almost breathless stream, Koichi finally grabbing him a chair to sit down on. If they hadn’t been drawing stares for Josuke’s sunglasses before they were definitely causing a disturbance now. Josuke buried his head in his hands, his mother's glasses squishing uncomfortably against his face. Knowing his delicate skin that was bound to leave a mark. But hell, it was better than his face being seen with how red it had gotten.

        “Okuyasu, sorry Josuke made you worry. We were... Um… going to meet up today to talk about our geography class. I’m sure he didn’t mean to make you worry.” Koichi lied, giving Josuke a strained smile.

        “Oh, sorry, ‘m I interrupting? ‘Didn’t mean to, I can leave if you-” Okuyasu started, blushing sheepishly.

        “No!” Josuke interjected, his hands slamming down on the table as he leaned towards his friend, face still completely flushed. He froze, realizing what he’d just done as the others stared at him, unsure of what to say. “I mean, no, you can stay. I need to thank you anyways, for uh, taking care of me n’ all. Even after I…” He rambled, silently cursing himself for doing this in public instead of just waiting for him to wake up to talk like a normal person.

        “What? Don’t mention it dude. I uh, I actually had fun watchin that movie with you.” Okuyasu said, his face flushing as he scratched the back of his neck. Koichi looked at the two of them, sheepishly smiling at each other as their faces both flushed as they avoided eye contact like the plague. He shook his head in disbelief, taking another sip of his drink.

        “Really? Well, I’m glad.” Josuke mentioned, picking at the cream table cloth subconsciously as he smiled to himself. He noticed Koichi giving him a strange look but brushed it off, for the first time since he’d gotten to the cafe taking off his shades. It hurt a bit as the sun hit his eyes but now that Okuyasu was here, it didn’t matter so much. He finally let himself breathe, even if it was just a little.

        “How did I not see this before?” Koichi mumbled to himself, shaking his head.

        “What?”

        “Nothing!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 10: Facing the music.

        This really wasn’t working. Not that he’d had much faith in the idea anyway, but still. Koichi was wrong. His skill was art, it had always been art and it always would be art. What did it matter that he was nearly incompetent in everything else? All he needed to do was draw. The rest could be taken care of. Well, maybe not all the rest. Rohan groaned, tossing his latest batch of failures into the trash. He buried his face in his hands, his nails digging into his forehead as a last-ditch effort to think about something, anything else. But there was nothing. Nothing but that fucking dumbass who had so selfishly called Rohan out on his bullshit.

        It was honestly embarrassing that Josuke had come so close to the truth in his little tantrum earlier. He knew he was taking a risk in taking him under his wing but the little shit had done what he did best, wormed his way under Rohan's skin and clung there like a parasite. It was almost impressive how good he was with people. And the worst part is he didn’t even know. Josuke was a strange case like that. In every tangible way they were polar opposites, Rohan the quiet scheming type and Josuke the loud obnoxious brute. And yet the second he looked past the surface it was like Rohan was looking into a mirror. He had seen so much more than he meant to. As he read, he didn’t just see Josuke's sexuality, or his weird borderline obsession with repressing it, he had seen Josuke’s true nature. Underneath his moronic exterior he was anxious, insecure, and almost as manipulative as Rohan was but so much more guilty about it. Their difference was one that Rohan could have never perceived, even in his wildest imaginings. Their difference was that Rohan knew himself, knew his weaknesses and clung to them, and Josuke didn’t. Josuke was both unbound by his own weakness and terrified by it. He had convinced himself that he was a certain way, or that he should be a certain way. So that's what he became. He had learned to become what he wanted. And Rohan never did that.

        Rohan let out another sigh, getting up and heading for his stairs, completely on autopilot as he climbed them and entered his studio. He sat down, leaning forward and placing his chin on his hands. In some ways, this revelation had been terrifying. This stupid child that had been nothing but a nuisance and a fool was just like him. It was almost painful to think about. He couldn’t help but thank the divines he hadn’t acted as foolishly growing up. But then again maybe he had. And he really wasn't used to that level of self-examination. But then, some small, consistently annoying part of him clung to this. Josuke was so well-loved. Koichi, Jotaro, hell everyone he had ever come across had eventually warmed up to him. People that he respected, being so attached to this, idiot. And as kind as Koichi was he knew the boy didn’t trust him. But when it came to Josuke, he had no doubts. Maybe, just maybe, he could be that too. But he had to be sure. So to prove that Josuke could be like him and still somehow earn these people’s trust, still have their respect and love, he had to show Josuke the weakness he tried so hard to hide. His insecurities. He shook his head immediately, gripping his face in his hands again. He hated this. He didn’t want to think about this any more than he had to. But he couldn't help it. After so long of trying to cling to his hatred, he had to admit it.

        That ratty haired, pompous, loud, scummy, rash, idiot had rubbed off on him.

        And worst of all he didn’t hate him for it.

        Even the thought was enough to make Rohan cringe. He didn't WANT to care about him. He had Koichi and even if they weren’t the best of friends it was enough to keep him from going off the deep end again. But he couldn’t help but feel like Josuke was the little brother he never wanted. Annoying and idiotic and stupid beyond belief but still... family. Is that what they were? The stand users in this town all gathering together into one big, fucked up family because lord knew their real families would never understand. Not this. Not that Rohan would have put in the effort to make them.

        Put in the effort. He had taken so much of his life to learn to draw so well. Every day, every minute, every second spent for one goal, to be the best. Everything else had fallen away, his unsupportive family, the other kids at school, basic human decency. He had put in so much effort. But never for others. He had always dragged Koichi around to do what he wanted to do, never bothering to listen to what his supposed friend wanted. Never putting in the effort. The only time he had it had been for Reimi. But after what she had done for him it almost felt like a necessary repayment. Like it didn’t count as anything selfless. Maybe that's what their real difference was. Josuke did everything he could for others. Even when his life was on the line all he could think about was saving that idiotic friend of his. It was almost ridiculous how much he genuinely cared, even about the people he wasn’t hopelessly in love with. Maybe… maybe he could try that. In the spirit of Koichi’s heartfelt suggestion, he could try doing it himself. Putting in the effort. Gods, he already felt exhausted. But what to do?

        His mind raced. Once he’d put his mind to it there wasn’t anything that could stop him. This was the way his story arc would go, he would make sure of that at least. Now, what would Josuke need? He was a hopeless romantic, that much was clear from the reading alone. So what would force him to come out in a way suitably over the top for his fragile ego? And something that wouldn’t make Okuyasu uncomfortable if despite all reason he said no. This was a challenge he was willing to take on. It was almost unfortunate to admit it was almost fun. Maybe he could write romance after all. Maybe he could get Tonio to- no I’d be best to do it where Josuke was comfortable and in control to minimize anxiety. As his mind raced he grabbed his pen, writing down a quick list of who he needed to call. Tonio, Tomoko, Yukako, maybe Jotaro or Holly. This was to be his best scheme yet. And given everything went well, he’d see what Koichi, and Josuke, seemed to think was so great about helping others.

        In any case, Josuke would owe him big time.

Chapter Text

Chapter 11: Coincidences

        There were some times with Tonio when you really couldn’t tell what was going through his head. His face would go scarily still, his eyebrows twisted into an almost angry knott, and his eyes falling into shadow as he tilted his head down. It’s nearly impossible to tell what’s going through his head in times like these, it’s what people like Josuke, Rohan, and Mikitaka find so terrifying about him. Even Okuyasu had to admit it was scary at times, but it was so rare to see Tonio angry that most of the time he was able to quell his fear. Sure enough, the second the thought crossed Okuyasu’s mind Tonio’s face lit up, the usual warm smile spreading across his face and immediately putting Okuyasu at ease.

        “Molto bene Okuyasu, very good! You’re improving quite fast, although you used a bit too much garlic in the sauce.” He praised, patting his pupil on the back as he put his fork back in the deep black pasta before him. Okuyasu let out a cheer, slamming his fists on the table before realizing his mistake, grinning up at the chef in embarrassment. Tonio laughed, shaking his head a bit. 

        “Sorry, just got a ‘lil excited. ‘M still excited you let me do this ‘n the first place t’ be honest.” Okuyasu admitted, feet kicking out immaturely under the table. Tonio shook his head, patting the boy’s hair a bit before heading back to the kitchen.

        “Of course, your taste buds are a rare gift, it would be a shame to let them go to waste.” He hummed, the faucet roaring to life as he washed his hands. Go to waste. He knew it wasn’t meant like that but he couldn't help but feel like he was just shot. So much of him was a waste. At least that’s what Keicho always said. He was a waste of a stand user, a waste of time, a waste of space, of DNA. In the very end, Keicho even wasted his life on him. And really what had he done with it? To cope he had convinced himself that he did have a purpose, that maybe if he could protect his friends he wouldn't be as much of a waste, maybe he would be worth keeping around. But no matter how hard he tried, no matter how often he did his best, risked his own hide, stretched himself beyond his limits…

        He came back too late.

        Josuke was on the ground, spare shrapnel of a banister in his side.

        He was in a coma for a week, in the hospital for 2 months.

        All because Okuyasu was too slow.

        A waste of trust.

        “Okuyasu? Are you alright?” Tonio asked, waving a concerned hand in front of his face. Okuyasu was suddenly pulled from his thoughts, his teeth finally unclamping from his tongue as he did his best to smile.

        “Y-yeah, sorry. Just got caught up thinkin’.” He admitted, laughing a bit. Tonio looked concerned, snatching his hand before Okuyasu could stop him and ferociously examining the lines, his glare intense but not angry. Okuyasu hid his face a bit, trying not to show his embarrassed blush. Tonio scoured as much as he could, turning to face Okuyasu. Finally he sighed, putting it down.

        “Alright. If you don’t want to tell me I won’t force your hand. However, I do have a favor to ask.” Okuyasu’s head shot up, embarrassment almost immediately forgotten with this new chance to prove himself. “I was… convinced to try a new service. I want to try delivery and see if I can still bring the same level of quality as in the restaurant.” He explained, smiling kindly as he sat down across from his pupil.

        “Oh, d’you want me to deliver?” Okuyasu asked, cocking his head a bit at the concept. He wasn’t exactly the best choice for delivery boy, he’d probably knock something over and ruin the meal.

        “Oh no, I was hoping that as the one with the most experience with my cooking you could do the first taste test, you know, make a night out of it. Invite some friends over, hey, I heard Josuke’s mother is out of town, maybe he would enjoy the company.” Tonio prompted, raising an eyebrow at him suggestively. Okuyasu could sense something strange behind his words, but couldn’t quite tell what was so off about them.

        “Ah, I dunno. I’d love to help but uh, after what happened last time I was over I dunno if Josuke would be comfortable…” He admitted, scratching the back of his neck. God, yet another thing he couldn't help but feel he had screwed up beyond help. Tonio gave him one of his signature disappointed fatherly looks, shaking his head at the teen in front of him.

        “Oh please, that boy wouldn’t know what to do without you. But don’t tell him I told you that.” Tonio ensured, giving him a wink. “And you can also invite signor Koichi, just to balance it out.”

        “Yeah, that's a good idea!” Okuyasu mumbled, the idea slowly but surely growing on him. It would be nice to get them all together, him, Josuke, Koichi, all hanging out, chillin just like normal. He might even be able to ignore the fact that he was hopelessly in love with Josuke for a while and go back to his middling compliance with his ‘it’s good enough that he’s around me at all’ thought process. Sometimes when they were all together, or even just when Josuke smiled at him, he could almost forget how out of his league he was.

        Tonio smiled over at him, getting up and patting Okuyasu’s shoulder as he left for the kitchen. “Well, I won’t hold you up any further, I’ll clean up from today’s lesson, good luck!” He called, sweeping the plate up with him to Okuyasu’s mild disappointment. That and some confusion about what he was wishing him good luck for. He shook his head as he got up, giving his tutor a final wave before heading out into the street. Something was strange about what Tonio was saying, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Maybe it wasn't the words themselves but something seemed to loom behind them, like the author of a well-rehearsed script. Oh well, it was no use thinking about things he didn’t understand. He had other things to worry about. Like how he was going to ask the others to come over for a casual night of Italian food and awkward tension between him and his best friend that had seemed to be springing up more and more frequently as of late.

        But why? It’s not as though there’s never been any tension there, but recently it seemed like they couldn’t get through one conversation without one or both of them freezing up or running out on the other. For his part he was trying his best but it was hard to keep things close to any semblance of normal. Not that anything in his life has ever been normal. But he really did try his best. Josuke had always been that for him, his own personal chance at normal. Keicho spent his whole life looking for it, fighting and killing for it. And somehow, by some miracle, Okuyasu’s chance had found him. Maybe he would never really be normal, but Josuke gave him hope. He was the light Okuyasu didn’t know he needed. A lot of the time he wished Keicho could have seen that. Josuke could have saved him too. Josuke could have saved anyone. Keicho just couldn't see that. But then again, Keicho was always smarter than he was. Maybe he’s just kidding himself. But the way Josuke makes him feel, the sense of normal he maintained throughout even the most bizarre of circumstances, the kindness and the compassion and…

        Maybe that’s where he had gone wrong. Maybe Josuke was sick of him clinging to his coattails the way he did. He did have the tendency to hold people back. And yet even now Josuke had insisted he be there, calling him in the middle of the night and later insisting he stay after he so rudely interrupted Koichi and his study session (which was strange considering they didn’t have their books with them). So what was it? Where had he gone wrong? Okuyasu steeled himself as he walked, face set in a stern pout as he confirmed his resolve. He could do this, he could figure this out. He just had to talk it out.

        ‘So when did this start?’

        Well, that was a tough one. And mostly it depended on whether he was talking about Josuke’s strange behavior or his own. Okuyasu had started off acting strangely, flip-flopping from wanting to kill him to not wanting to be involved any further to showing up to his house with an olive branch the next day, desperate to cling to whatever light he could find and whatever strong figure he could follow. He was and always had been a lackey and in Keicho’s… absence he would be Josuke’s. And yet that’s not how Josuke treated him. That’s not what he became. Instead of just following him, they walked side by side. Instead of being told what to do he was allowed to choose things for himself. He was, or at least Josuke let him be, his friend. And maybe that was the real problem, he still didn’t know how friends were supposed to act.

        ‘But when did things change?’

        That one was both easy and not. He knew when things changed for him but what that meant… he still wasn’t sure. It was when Josuke was in the hospital. Okuyasu had been kept out of the room for the first few days of Josuke’s coma, but he hadn’t been at home either. He had paid Tamami to go feed his father and Stray Cat but after everything that had happened, he felt like he couldn’t face them. Either of them. He had never felt more low. He had promised himself that this time would be different. That even if he had let Keicho down in the end he would always be there for Josuke. But he wasn’t. So instead of going home, he slept on the roof of the school. Nobody knew. Tamami never asked any questions and the others just assumed he went home like always. But once he was finally able to see Josuke again, delicate eyelids fluttering a bit in his comatose sleep as the machines beeped around him, pale skin almost glowing in the sun, he couldn’t leave. After visiting hours he had snuck back into the room, using his stand to scale the building and had fallen asleep by his side, hand lightly pressed to his friend’s wrist to keep time with the heart monitors, just to make sure they weren’t lying that Josuke was still alive in there. When he’d woken up, foggy eyes reflecting the halo of light that had circled his friends head in the morning glow, he had decided he never wanted to wake up next to anyone else. He wanted to see that face next to him each morning, beautiful and serene. 

        Now it didn’t occur to him all at once what that meant in terms of how he felt, like most things it dawned on him slowly. It wasn’t that he didn’t like girls, it was just that he liked Josuke so much more. He wasn’t always happy about how slow his mind worked, but it did give him time to adjust. All in all not much had really changed with how he treated Josuke. He was a bit more openly affectionate when he couldn’t help himself, and every once in a while he would get overly flustered but most of the time just being near him was enough. In times like that he could almost understand how Yukako felt about Koichi. Almost. That girl was a mess, even by Okuyasu’s standards. But speaking of mess…

        ‘Then when did he change?’

        That was the real question huh. As much as Okuyasu wanted to blame himself, to search for something he might have done he couldn’t find anything. Maybe he just wasn’t looking hard enough. It seemed the most rational answer. He did something wrong, and now he’s facing the repercussions. Shit, maybe this whole takeout idea was a mistake. But then again, maybe he could use it to make it all up to him somehow. Yeah, that wasn’t such a bad idea! Setting everything up, making sure they’re eating good food, having a night to just relax, no pressure, no strangeness, and no booze this time.

        “Hey Okuyasu!” Koichi's voice rang out, derailing Okuyasu’s train of thought completely. Guess he wasn’t gonna get a better plan than that, just that much thinking had been way too tough. He smiled over at his friends as they squatted next to each other in front of the convenience store.

        “Hey Koichi! Sup Josuke?” He grinned, squatting down to join their little powwow. Josuke smiled back but seemed distracted, staring off into the sky and letting the smile fade from his face. It wasn’t exactly rare to see him brooding in thought like this but it never hurt Okuyasu any less to see him upset, even if he didn’t know what about. But hopefully this time he held some kind of solution.

        “How was the lesson with Tonio? Did you learn how to make that, Nero de sep… sepia stuff?” Koichi asked, seemingly unaffected or unaware of Josuke’s quiet discontent.

        “Oh, it went great! ‘E says I’m gettin real good at makin the sauce. But uh, speakin of Tonio, I have a uh, proposition for all of you.” He said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. Now Josuke's eyes were on him, crystal blue peering into his with a slightly piqued interest. Okuyasu laughed a bit, his confidence wavering. “He said somethin about wanting to try a delivery service and wanted me to test it out, ‘nd so I was wondering if you guys wanted to come over so we could test it out together.”

        The others looked at each other, enthusiasm sparking in their eyes like a gas stove being set alight. Okuyasu felt his chest rise a bit in pride. He still wasn’t quite used to anyone thinking his ideas were any good. Not that this one was his idea but for a little bit he could let himself take the credit.

        “Really? Wow, that sounds great Oku!” Koichi exclaimed, face lighting up like only Tonios cooking could cause.

        “That sounds great, we can even have it at my house so we can play games! My mom is at another teacher training session, this one was optional and I thought she said she wouldn’t go but apparently my sister and Jotaro offered that she could stay in his old room for the night so she wouldn’t have to pay for a hotel. Weird if you ask me.” Josuke mumbled, huffing a bit as he crossed his arms. Was that what Josuke was worked up about? It did seem weird for Tomoko to suddenly change her mind, and while he’d heard Holly was nice, opening up your home to strangers, let alone someone with the relationship Tomoko has to the family is a whole other story. But hey, if even Josuke couldn’t figure it out then someone like him had no chance, so maybe it was best not to worry about.

        “Really? That is kinda strange, but I’m glad we can stay at your place! This is going to be awesome!” Koichi cheered. Josuke and Okuyasu looked at each other, their eyes catching the others for a few seconds before Koichi opened his eyes, one eyebrow shooting up. The two looked away, Okuyasu faking a cough and doing his best to ignore the heat rising in his cheeks. 

        “Y-yeah, great!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 12: A breath of fresh air

        Okuyasu was the first to show up that night. It made sense of course, him being so close and all. For a while they were content to just sit and wait for Koichi, forming some half-witted plot to start a fighting tournament in one of their favorite games. But as the sun began to set and the two ran out of new lame jokes to throw in the tension had begun to set in yet again. And that’s when the phone rang.

        “Hello?” Josuke asked, nearly slamming the receiver into his head as he underestimated his own nervous strength.

        “Josuke? Oh good, I’m glad you picked up. I can’t make it tonight, something came up.” Koichi’s answer made Josuke’s heart drop into his stomach. This was all too much. Everything about that day had seemed so weird, coincidence after coincidence leading to the scenario he had been avoiding the most, being alone with Okuyasu. He felt the panic rise in his chest, squeezing at his lungs a bit.

        “What? What do you mean something came up?” Josuke asked, maybe a little too angrily. He had to keep in mind it probably wasn't Koichi’s fault.

        “I know, I know. It’s rude of me to cancel like this but Yukako mentioned hearing weird noises and insisted I stay at her house tonight to keep her safe.” Koichi admitted, Josuke almost able to see the blush on his face over the phone.

        “Koichi. Bro. She has a stand. A really strong one at that. What could she possibly be scared of.” Josuke asked, venom seeping into his tone. Koichi had ditched him in his time of need for a girl. Whatever happened to bros before hoes?

        "Yeah I know but she seemed so scared! And also… well this is my first time spending the night at her place…” Koichi started to ramble, voice trailing off. Josuke felt his anger flare up for a minute, having to remember to calm himself down.

        “Koichi you horndog bastard. Fine. Leave me to my own personal hell, I see how it is.” Josuke hissed, half playfully and half-seriously venting his frustrations. Koichi laughed nervously in response, Josuke rolling his eyes in return.

        “You know sometimes you remind me of Rohan.” Koichi teased.

        “Oh come on, that was uncalled for.” Josuke complained, pouting into the receiver. Koichi laughed back, Josuke’s anger melting away a bit. At least Koichi would be happy tonight.

        “Alright fine, I won’t say it again.”

        “Good.”

        “Look, I know you’re nervous but remember that Okuyasu is your friend no matter what. I know you can do this. Just hang in there for him, ok?”

        Josuke sighed, shaking his head a bit.

        “Alright. Fine. Have fun with your girlfriend.” Josuke finally relented, still pouting a bit.

        “Thanks Josuke, and good luck!”

        Josuke set down the phone, letting out a loud, exasperated sigh as he entered the living room where Okuyasu was hooking up the console to play.

        “Koichi is backing out on us.” Josuke announced, crossing his arms. Okuyasu froze, looking up at Josuke with his head cocked.

        “What? Oh come on!”

        “I know right? Yukako called him over so he’s staying there.”

        “Argh, how could he? Bros before hoes.” Okuyasu exclaimed. Josuke smiled. He could always count on Oku for backup.

        “I know, right? I guess I’m just ordering for the two of us. You ok setting up the game while I order?” He asked, finally uncrossing his arms.

        “Uh, yeah I think I’ve got the hang of it. You know Tonios number, right?”

        “Yeah yeah, I got it. Just be careful with my TV.” Josuke called as he re-entered the kitchen, grabbing the phone and punching in Tonio’s number. It didn’t take long for him to pick up, his cheery voice greeting Josuke after only 2 rings.

        “Trattoria Trussardi restaurante, how can I be of service?”

        “Tonio? It’s me, Josuke. Okuyasu said you wanted to try delivery?”

        “Oh, si signore, I was waiting for your call! I’ll handle the menu, you and signore Okuyasu will be eating well tonight!” Tonio cooed, the slight clang of cooking ware crackling over the phone. “The food will be there in 30 minutes or so.”

        Suddenly Josuke felt something in his head click.

        “How did you know it’d be just the two of us?” He asked, eyebrow-raising. He’d been suspicious all day, and this all just seemed too coincidental. For a minute the line was completely silent.

        “Whatever do you mean?”

        “You asked Okuyasu to invite me and Koichi, right? So why didn’t you mention him?” Josuke asked, his suspicion steadily growing as anxiety clawed at his stomach. This was it, he finally caught something concrete.

        “Oh I uh… a chef's intuition?” Tonio said, a nervous laugh doing little to disguise how poor of an excuse this was. For a minute Josuke thought about why or how Tonio would know when it suddenly hit him.

        “Did Rohan put you up to this?”

        The line was dead silent for another minute. That was all the confirmation Josuke needed.

        “Merda-“

        Before he could hear any more Josuke slammed the phone down, only to snatch it back up again to feverishly slam in the number to Rohan’s house. He sat there on bated breath as the phone rang, getting more and more furious at each tone. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, a voice spoke up.

        “Rohan Kishibe speakin-“

        “ROHAN DID YOU DO THIS??” Josuke hissed, trying to keep his yelling down so as not to alert Okuyasu.

        “What are you talking about?” He asked coyly, his smug smile almost audible.

        “YOU KN- you know what I’m talking about.” Josuke growled, doing his best to sound intimidating.

        “Oh I’m quite sure I don’t. But take my advice, don’t let this opportunity go to waste. Bye-bye now.”

        “Wait, Rohan! ROHAN!” 

        And with that he had hung up the phone, leaving Josuke with nothing but the dial tone and existential dread. In anger he slammed down the phone a little too hard, snapping the poor thing in half. While it wasn’t too much of an inconvenience it still didn’t help the panic that had settled into the pit of his stomach. As Crazy Diamond came forth to fix the shattered plastic shell of the phone Josuke fell to the floor, defeated. He never should have gone to Rohan’s house. Ever. Each time he went there was a mistake if it all led to this. So much could go wrong. Everything was screaming at him that this was a bad idea. What if he really was cursed? What if Okuyasu was disgusted by him? What if even just confessing put his friend in danger? But… then again… what if…

        “Josuke! I got it all set up!” Okuyasu cheered from the living room, snapping Josuke out of his downward spiral. That’s right, he didn’t have to confess anything. He was just here with his friend. To have a romantic Italian dinner together. Great.

        As Josuke entered the living room he tried his best to remain calm. For a second he even thought about grabbing one of the other leftover bottles of booze but the rational part of his mind immediately shut that down. There was no way in hell he was making that mistake twice. He sat down next to Okuyasu on the floor, grabbing the controller that his friend handed to him with a smile. Okuyasu smiled back but his smile seemed… empty. Josuke’s selfish panic was almost completely dropped when he saw this, searching his best friend’s face for any clue of what might be wrong.

        “Hey man, what’s goin on?” He asked, subconsciously scooting a little closer. Okuyasu’s face flushed a little, eyes focused on the screen.

        “I just… you called Rohan. You’ve been talkin to him a lot lately.” Okuyasu mumbled, picking out a character. For a second Josuke was mortified that despite his efforts Okuyasu had heard him but did his best to go with the flow, picking out his usual character.

        “Uh, yeah. I wish I didn’t have too, he's such a dick.” Josuke complained, the fight beginning like it usually did, with Josuke starting out strong and Okuyasu doing his best to play catch up.

        “Then why are you talkin to him?” Okuyasu asked, face screwing up in concentration. Josuke was taken aback by the question. Not that it was unnatural to ask but his tone made him sound… angry?

        “Well he… he uh… he’s been screwing with me recently and he…” Josuke stumbled over his words, trying to explain without mentioning the reason why what Rohan did was so bad. But Okuyasu being this close to him, his gruff demeanor and almost jealous behavior, well it was a little hard to focus. Before he even knew what was happening, Okuyasu had gained the upper hand in the fight, getting in the final hits and knocking out Josuke’s character. Not that it seemed to matter to him. Before Josuke could comprehend what was happening, Okuyasu had leaned over, his face lining up directly with Josuke’s. His eyes were intense, and it was impossible to stop the blush from spreading to Josuke’s cheeks.

        “I’m… I'm still your best friend. Right?” Okuyasu asked, his voice low and serious. Josuke’s face was almost unbearably hot. He really was jealous. Jealous over him. He felt like his heart was doing backflips as the screen flashed beside him. Suddenly he became hyper-aware of it all, his chest clamping down again. But his eyes were so genuine…

        “Of course Oku, you’ll always be my number 1. Always.” He assured, the tension in his chest lessening slightly as his body took over on its own, his hand lightly brushing against his friends. Now it was Okuyasu’s turn to blush, smiling a bit to himself with a satisfied hum.

        “Good.” He leaned back, grabbing his controller again. Josuke could almost feel his soul leaving his body. That was too close. Way too close. And the night was only just beginning. This was gonna be great.

~*~

        “Ok, it wasn’t THAT bad.” Josuke insisted, crossing his arms over his chest with a pout as Okuyasu let out another burst of laughter, doing his best to not spit out the spaghetti he had crammed into his mouth. He swallowed quickly, wiping his mouth with an over-exaggerated swipe before grinning at him.

        “Never said it was bad, but come on man, ‘s still funny.” He insisted, snorting a bit as he crammed more food into his mouth. He had a tendency to do that when he was laughing while eating Josuke noticed. It was… cute. Really cute. Maybe a little gross. He held back a laugh of his own as he watched his friend eat.

        “What, so you’ve never accidentally said I love you at the end of a call? I don’t buy it.” Josuke insisted, still pouting. The conversation had lightened up considerably the second food had arrived, Josuke quickly setting the table for a more than eager Okuyasu. According to him the food tasted a bit different, something about the to-go boxes, but he didn’t seem to mind much. He was sure to tell Tonio this idea had been a roaring success, but with Rohan’s comment earlier Josuke doubted this to go service would last longer than just tonight. The thought sent an angry chill up his spine, but the warmth Okuyasu’s smile seemed to radiate was enough to chase out even the worst of his moods.

        "Hell no! When I say ‘I love you’ I mean it.” Okuyasu insisted, finally finishing up his food. Josuke still wasn’t even close to being done, but it’s not like that was a surprise. “‘Specially to Koichi, shame on you fr’ leading ‘im on like that.”

        Josuke let out a snort at the idea of leading his poor little friend on before a strange, uncomfortable pang of jealousy hit him like an arrow to the side. He cleared his throat, taking a sip of his soda in an attempt to look nonchalant.

        “What, you tell him that often?” He mentioned, again trying to seem as unbothered as possible. Okuyasu wasn’t exactly the hardest to fool but he couldn’t help but feel ridiculous. He really wasn’t good at this whole, acting cool thing. Especially when it came to Okuyasu. And the pit of anxiety in his stomach that had refused to let up since he had uncovered this conspiracy wasn’t exactly helping either.

        “Well, yeah. I tell you guys I love you all the time.” He mentioned. Josuke was confused for a second, but the more he thought about it the more he realized his friend was right. Time after time Okuyasu had told him what he loved about him, mostly jokingly but he had never quite been shy with the compliments either. Even physically Okuyasu had always made his affection clear. It almost made Josuke feel a little guilty. After so long of Okuyasu being so affectionate, so loving, that he just got uncomfortable and backed away the second it felt too real. Then again, it’s not like Okuyasu weighed their interactions the same way Josuke did. And yet the way Okuyasu looked at the floor, sheepishly kicking at the tile with a flush hot on his cheeks… maybe…..

        “Well, yeah I guess so.” Josuke admitted, breaking off that train of thought before it went any further. Okuyasu chucked a bit, looking up at him with a grin.

        “Well hey ya can’t blame me, can ya? When there’s so much there to love about ‘cha. I mean come on, you’re Josuke friggin Higashikata.” He mentioned, laughing nervously. As their eyes met Josuke could feel his face flare up like nothing else, but it was like Okuyasu’s hopeful gaze had locked him in. “You’re the best.”

        For a second Josuke was taken aback. Again, it wasn’t quite rare for Josuke to revive this level of praise from people. His classmates growing up, the girls in his class, and even the stand users now all praised him quite a bit. But never had it felt quite like this. All the things he’d heard for so long, they’d never really meant much. For so long Josuke had been surrounded by people who didn’t know him. None of his classmates growing up could see his stand, none of them could understand his emotional nature, or sympathize with his past. Sure they complimented him but they could only complement what they could see. And the only person he had ever felt truly saw him, the only one he could trust to fully understand… he still felt that way. Okuyasu saw him, the real him, the whole him, the nervous, emotional, impulsive, manipulative him, and still thought he was worthwhile. More than worthwhile even. Loveable. Okuyasu made him feel loved. And it was both amazing and the most terrifying thing he had ever experienced. After a moment he realized just how long they had sat there, staring into each other's eyes and he coughed, tearing his eyes away.

        "I don’t know about the whole, best thing. But hey, don’t sell yourself short, you ain’t too shabby yourself.” Josuke deflected, taking another shaky bite of his pasta. Okuyasu seemed to retract a bit, laughing nervously.

        “Ah, you don’t gotta lie like that. I know jus’ as well as everyone else you’ve got me beat. In everything that matters at least.” Okuyasu lamented, leaning back in his seat. Josuke froze mid-chew, looking over at his friend like a deer in the headlights. He forced himself to swallow, eyes narrowing. That self-loathing shit wouldn’t fly here, not in this goddamn house.

        “The hell do you mean? Oku do you not know how friggin amazing you are?” Josuke asked, snatching Okuyasu’s hands from the table and holding them up, squeezing them a bit as he forced his friend to meet his eyes. “Bro you are the most selfless person I know! You’ve saved me more times than you could ever know, you look out for me when I don’t do it for myself, you provide for your family without a single goddamn complaint, you’re responsible, you might not be the sharpest tool in the shed but you’re still always willing to learn, you work harder than anyone else, you constantly bust your ass for the rest of us and then you don’t even ask for a simple thank you! What do you mean I have you beat?”

        “B-but I-“

        “But what?”

        “I’m just makin’ up for it, ok? You do so much fr’ me, I’m just… givin’ back what little I can I guess.” Okuyasu blurted out, averting his eyes again. Josuke’s anger stirred in his chest again, pushing through any and all anxious self-awareness as he grabbed his face, gently making him meet his eyes again.

        “Oku you don’t have to. I choose to be here, I choose to have you with me. What I do with Crazy Diamond costs nothing, hell I even healed fuckin Tamami one time. You don’t owe me anything. You don’t have to take care of me for me to be here. You’re enough.”

        Okuyasu’s face turned down as he shifted a bit in his chair, face heating under Josuke’s hands. After a moment he grabbed Josuke’s hands, pulling them from his face. Suddenly Josuke realized what he had just done. His hands snapped back to his sides, his chest suddenly clamping down hard as the passionate fire in his chest was snuffed out and all that’s left was a cold, hard, anxious, clawing pit in his stomach. His head began to swim, his breath hitching in his throat as he tried his best to breathe. This was it. He’d finally gone too far. Oku had pulled away. He had felt panic like this before but never this bad, never this concrete. No matter what he would lose his friend, the only one who understood him, the only one he had ever seen a future with, the one he didn’t know how to live without.

        Okuyasu opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water as he tried to find the words to speak, his expression unreadable.

        Through the cold numbness of his gripping anxiety, Josuke could feel something stirring in his veins.

        Okuyasu opened his mouth again, taking in a deep breath. Finally he found the strength to speak.

        A calling deep from Josuke’s core whispered a solution.

        “Josuke… ‘m sorry… I can’t do this ‘nymore ‘s not fair to you...”

        After all else had failed there was one thing left to do.

        “I have to tell you somethin’...”

        His final technique.

        “Josuke…”

        Run away!

        Before Okuyasu could react Josuke had sprung up, reaching desperately for the door frame to catapult him seamlessly into the hallway. He could barely hear the yell of surprise from his friend as he dashed down the hall, Crazy Diamond surging forward and smashing the front door to smithereens. As he bolted through it, it began to reform, piecing itself back together just in time. From behind him Josuke could hear the door thud as Okuyasu ran into it. He didn’t stick around long enough to know what he’d do next. He started diagonally across his lawn, nearly slipping on the dew-covered grass in his panic. He was just able to regain his footing as he finally reached the cold pavement of the street. It was far too late for any traffic in their neighborhood, so the darkened streets were empty as Josuke made a mad dash down them. He wasn’t quite sure where he was going yet but anywhere was better than his house. He couldn’t face what he knew was coming. Rejection. Disgust. Abandonment. He did his best to keep the hot tears that were forming from falling down his face as he huffed and puffed his way down the street. He was starting to regret skipping Phys Ed all those times.

        Suddenly he heard an all too familiar sound pull at his core. The woosh of bass behind him was enough to make his heart pound, his energy focusing completely on running. His battle mind had completely taken over, a million different ways to keep himself from being pulled back suddenly flashing through his mind. But it was useless, he was out of The Hand’s range, he was safe he was-

        The sound rang out again, this time closer. Over and over and over it sounded, his panic rising as it suddenly dawned on Josuke that pulling others closer wasn’t the only thing Okuyasu could do. In a final desperate bid to stop his pursuer he aimed at the ground, ready to form the asphalt into a wall behind him but before he could-

        “JOSUKEEEE!!”

        Suddenly Josuke felt a massive force slam into his back, a yelp just barely escaping from his lips as he fell, in the instant before he hit the ground able to use his stand to protect his face and hair from the inevitable fall. He tried to get up but before he could he felt a hand grasping his arm, looking up groggily to find The Hand pulling up Crazy Diamond and gently but firmly holding him away from where Josuke lay on the ground. He shook his head, hot tears threatening to fall down his face as he did his best to get up before being suddenly grabbed, this time on his real arm before his assailant pinned him to the ground, sloppily trying to straddle his torso as Josuke tried his best to squirm away. Gradually he stopped squirming, instead opting to keep his face pressed into his arm as it was held above his head on the rough asphalt, back barely rising off the pavement with each deep breath from under his friends looming figure. Eventually Okuyasu above him was able to catch his breath, slumping over with his head almost painfully close to the crook of Josuke’s neck. Finally he let out a sigh, straightening himself out to look down at his friend, eyes sad and desperate.

        “Josuke… please… just talk to me. I-I just want you to tell me what’s wrong… I can help… I can do somethin’ I jus’... please.” Okuyasu pleaded, his gruff voice almost a whisper. The Hands grip on Crazy Diamond loosened, making it clear that if he really wanted to Josuke could break free with little trouble. Josuke’s mind raced, his thoughts chasing themselves around in circles. He couldn’t keep doing this. This all felt so hopeless. Oku would discover his true feelings eventually whether he liked it or not. And all this bullshit, Josuke’s overly irrational fear had caused him to run out in a panic on his best friends when he needed him. He was disgusting and unworthy of the love Okuyasu was so ready to give. Josuke’s mind began to tire, tears finally falling as he did his best to control his breathing. Finally he steeled himself, still unwilling to open his eyes.

        “I’m sorry I just… I’m so scared of losing you and…” Josuke paused, taking a final deep breath. With whatever courage he could muster he looked up, immediately meeting his friend’s eyes. For a moment he just studied his face, absorbing every detail like it was the last time he’d ever get to see them. 

        “Oku I… like you like you.”

        “...”

        “Like… I’m gay for you.”

        Both stands seemed to take that as their cue to leave, fading back into their users’ bodies as Josuke squeezed his eyes shut again. He didn’t want to see his reaction. He felt the hands holding his own to the ground loosen. For a moment all was silence, just the light buzz of a street lamp and the soft panting of the two boys. It all seemed so still, so calm, like a horrifying limbo. He was so scared of his friend's reaction but somehow, waiting for one, or not getting one at all suddenly seemed so much worse, and so much more real. 

        “Like… you’re into me?”

        Okuyasu’s tone was soft, like he wasn’t quite sure he had heard him correctly. Josuke bit into his lip, pulling a shaky breath between his teeth.

        “Y-yeah.”

        “Like… romantically?” 

        Okuyasu’s voice had dropped in volume even more as he said his final word, like it was somehow forbidden to him. Like he wasn’t allowed to imply Josuke, or anyone else for that matter, could ever feel that way for him. And that broke Josuke’s fucking heart. Josuke’s lip shook under his teeth as he opened his eyes a bit, cautiously peeking out from under his lids. Okuyasu’s face was hard to see as he looked off to his side, but what little was illuminated by the street light was flushed a dusty scarlet. After another moment of silence Okuyasu looked back down at Josuke, his eyes wide, but not angry. Josuke felt his stomach erupt into a million butterflies as he stared up at him, all of them battering at the anxious cage his ribs had made around his chest.

        “... yeah.”

        Okuyasu’s breath was slightly shaky, his eyebrows screwing up over darting, inquisitive eyes a bit as he thought. Josuke could almost see him trying to put it all together in his head. It made his heart do a flip in his tightly bound chest. This was all too much. Finally, he opened his mouth again.

        “... really?”

        Josuke sighed, almost laughing as his eyes started to water again. If he wasn’t so absolutely mortally terrified this would be hilariously sad. A desperate gay boy being pinned by his clueless and disbelieving object of affection late at night in the middle of the damn street.

        “Yes, ok? You don’t have to rub it in.” He laughed dryly. Okuyasu blinked a few times, finally fully releasing Josuke’s hands as he sat back. Josuke immediately took the opportunity to cover his face with his hands to save what little dignity he felt he might still have.

        “I just… I never thought… are you sure I’m not like... dreaming?”

        “Yeah, pretty sure.” Josuke let out another laugh. It was all he could do at this point. If he didn’t he would certainly be crying.

        “I… wow. You really mean that?”

        “Please don’t make me repeat myself.” Josuke mumbled, shaking his head a bit in his hands. This whole thing was probably the stupidest thing he was ever a part of, running away like a coward and then blurting out a half-assed confession while pinned down on the asphalt of his own street. Josuke gnawed on his lip as he did his best not to think about his muscular best friend towering over him as he lay there. Now was really not the time. For a while more they just sat there, Josuke doing his best to control his breath as he waited for a response. Suddenly he felt the warm weight of a hand lightly gripping his waist, a muffled gasp escaping from his lips as he flinched involuntarily.

        “Is this really what’s been bothering you?” Okuyasu asked, his voice soft and low. By this point the cogs turning in Josuke’s brain had come to a halt, the cyclone of anxieties and panicked thoughts had run themselves out until there was barely a regret tainted breeze. The regret at letting it all get this far. He took in a shaky breath, nodding a bit.

        “Y-yeah. Rohan found out and… kinda got pissed about it and… he set all this up so I could tell you but I couldn’t even get that right and… shit man I’m so sorry.” Josuke groaned, sitting up as Okuyasy shifted back to sit on his thighs, still straddling his legs. Suddenly he felt Okuyasu’s larger hands grip his own, calloused digits interlocking with his own as he pulled his hands away from his face, leaving nothing to block out Josuke’s view of him. Oku was slightly taller than him like this, looking down at him as the particles of dust illuminated by the street lamp danced around his head. He looked almost… heavenly. Josuke couldn’t tear his eyes away.

        “No, don’t be sorry. I uh… I shoulda… I shoulda-“ Okuyasu started, stumbling over his words. His eyes flitted around as if he were searching for something, anything he could have done.

        “Oku, what are you talking about. You’ve done everything right, I just got so freaked out and caught up and I let it all get into my head and god I really really like you and I don’t know what to do I just…” Josuke insisted, slumping forward to rest his head on Okuyasu’s chest. He heard the gentle thump of his heartbeat and before he could stop himself he felt a tear trace a line down his face. He reached out, hand still intertwined with Okuyasu’s as he held his side, just to remind himself that it was still there, that he'd brought it back. After so long of holding it off he felt his body begin to shake as he let out a sob, the grief he had been holding off for so long flooding into his mind. “I put you in danger Oku I almost let you die just so I could have you with me… A-and all this time I’ve been using you and how kind you’ve been… I just let you put yourself in danger for me and clean for me and cook for me and take care of me and I take and take and take and-“

        Before Josuke could continue he found himself being crushed against his friend's chest, hair getting entirely smushed as he was practically yanked into the tight hug. But hearing his friend's ragged breath as he too began to cry made all thoughts of his hair immediately vanish, using his hand’s newfound freedom to wrap himself around Okuyasu with the intention to never let go, like one of those starfish Jotaro was so fond of. For a minute or so they sat like that, the world seeming to fall away as they held each other, finally able to release all that pent up anger and sadness and grief. 

        “What were you sayin to me earlier?” Okuyasu asked, letting out a small laugh as he sniffled. He pulled back, putting his hands on Josuke’s face and running a finger lightly over a thin scar on his cheek. “‘I choose to be here. You don’t owe me anything.’?” He looked down at his friend, giving him one of his beautiful, genuine smiles. “‘You are enough.’”

        Suddenly the pressure in his chest that had been clamping him down for so long, suppressing all the wonderful, terrifying feelings he had kept in for years and years just… cracked. Piece by piece the cage fell away, the butterflies in his stomach finally flying free into the open air, tangling with his newly freed breath. As the walls around him shattered, as it all fell away, he felt Okuyasu’s warmth, his presence, his smile, and suddenly the pressure he’d clung to for so long seemed… ridiculous. And in this sudden moment of freedom, this final release of all that he had kept so hidden, with tears flowing freely down his face he leaned forward, lips gently pressing against Okuyasu’s.

        The kiss only lasted for a moment. He wasn’t quite sure what he was doing so in his haste Josuke had accidentally bumped their noses before he was finally able to reach his intended target. After only a moment he pulled back, suddenly realizing Okuyasu had never actually returned his feelings. Almost as if by Crazy Diamond’s hand the pieces of the cage began to come back together, panic returning as he carefully studied his friend's shocked expression.

        “Sorry, I uh, you never actually, shit man I-“ Josuke started, the final pieces nearly coming back into place before-

        “No! It’s uh… can we… maybe do that again? I uh… wasn’t paying enough attention the first time.” Okuyasu’s baritone suddenly came through, swiping back across Josuke’s barrier and erasing it for good. Josuke’s eyes fluttered as the weight lifted again, hands shaking a bit as he nodded. Okuyasu smiled wider than he had ever seen before. He pulled their faces together for a second kiss, still just as awkward and inexperienced with their teeth clashing a bit and their lips being just a bit off, but honestly, neither of them could bring themselves to care. After another moment they pulled away, Josuke letting out a laugh as he caught a glimpse of Okuyasu’s dopey smile. He pressed their foreheads together, smiling to himself as their breath and hands simultaneously intertwined

        “I think that answers that.”

        “Answers what?”

        Josuke looked into Okuyasu’s eyes, his heart swelling in his chest as he shook his head. He held back a laugh, pulling the other man closer and burying his face in the crook of Okuyasu’s neck.

        “Nothing.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 13: Epilogue

        Josuke groaned as he looked up at the house before him, pink trim and green shingles almost ironic when compared to the horrors that have occurred within. Yet here they were, Koichi tapping his foot impatiently as Josuke pouted, reluctant to go any farther.

        “Come on do I have to?” He moaned, glaring over to the constantly darkened windows with a huff.

        “Yes you do. He put a lot of work into making last night happen you know, he at least deserves a thank you.” Koichi insisted, motioning for him to go to the door already. Josuke rolled his eyes but complied, marching up to the door and sighing. He really didn’t want to have to face Rohan, whether it was because of the guilt for yelling at him while hungover or because he just didn’t care to see him again after he had set everything up against his wishes he couldn’t quite tell. Still, it didn’t take long after Josuke’s reluctant knock for the door to swing open, the familiar darkened form of Rohan Kishibe standing just behind it.

        “Oh, it’s just you.” He said, the disappointment in his tone nearly making Josuke snap. But he had to keep his cool. After all, he was right in the end. God, it was going to really suck to admit that to him.

        “Hello to you too.” Josuke mumbled, watching as Rohan walked back to his kitchen, giving Koichi one last reluctant wave before following him inside and shutting the door behind him. As soon as he entered, the scent of freshly baked bread hit Josuke like a truck, almost stopping him in his tracks. Unlike last time it didn’t smell burnt at all, hell it smelled really good. As he entered the kitchen he saw Rohan standing in front of his counter, propped up against it so as to perfectly draw Josuke’s eye to the perfectly baked bread that sat next to him, fresh out of the oven. It almost felt rehearsed, and Josuke didn’t know whether to find that funny or annoying.

        “So, I assume you’re here to apologize. Or maybe even thank me? General groveling of any kind would be well appreciated.” He mused, taking a sip from a small glass he had set out on the counter. Josuke couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes.

        “You know what no, I’m not sorry. You were being a dick so I was mean back. And I told you multiple times that I DIDN’T want you to set me up like that.” Josuke chided, standing his ground. Rohan raised a carefully plucked eyebrow, clicking his tongue a bit. Josuke sighed, shaking his head. “But, I… appreciate the effort I guess. And I guess…” he paused, cursing a bit under his breath before continuing “you were right.”

        Rohan’s smug smile was enough to make Josuke want to punch him out of his own window, but surprisingly he didn’t keep it for long. Instead he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

        “And I suppose… if we’re being honest… I should give you credit where it’s due. You weren’t exactly… wrong. You still had no right to act that way in my house but for now you are… excused.” He huffed, setting down the glass and crossing his arms glamorously over his chest. Josuke was shocked to say the least but, hearing that from Rohan was quite the ego boost. But before he could truly revel in it Rohan’s sly smile was back and any sense of pride was forgone in favor of mistrust. “And I can tell just how right I was. You really need to get better at using concealer. And maybe get some of your own, I’m sure your mother wouldn’t want you using hers. Not for that at least.”

        Josuke’s eyes snapped to his collarbone, then back to Rohan with a harsh glare, his face flaring up in an embarrassed blush.

        “Shut up! I did my best with what I had, ok? I wasn’t exactly expecting you to force me into a date night, ok?” He insisted, self consciously pulling the collar of his jacket to cover the spot. Rohan just scoffed, crossing his arms. “Or that it would go that well…”

        “Look I honestly don’t want to know. Now unless you have news about your nephew being suddenly single, get out and stay out.” Rohan insisted, shoving the teen out of his kitchen.

        “Ew!” Josuke exclaimed, almost laughing as Rohan shoved him out of his door, nearly slamming it before he saw Koichi out of the corner of his eye.

        “Oh, Koichi! Good morning!”

        “Ah, good morning Rohan.”

        “You’ll come by Monday next week, right?”

        “Uh, yes sir!”

        “Good, good. Well, until then!”

        And with that, he slammed the door in Josuke’s face without a proper goodbye to the boy right in front of him. For a second Josuke reconsidered going back in and kicking the crap out of him but honestly, that had gone far better than expected. He sighed, turning around to join Koichi, only just barely aware of the pair of eyes watching him from the window as he joined up with his friend.

        “Well that wasn’t so bad was it?” Koichi announced, smiling proudly.

        “Yeah yeah. Alright, let’s go. Oku said he was gonna meet us for lunch at Saint Gentlemens.”

        “Yeah. I’m not sure how to feel about third-wheeling for you two all the time though…”

        Josuke laughed, patting him on the back as they started off down the street.

        “Buddy, I think you’ve already been doing it for a while.”