Chapter Text
Everyone knew who IU was, or rather they thought that they knew her. When the name of IU was mentioned in a conversation, the first thing that popped up in people's minds was probably something like nation's little sister, South Korea's beloved soloist, a great actress, a talented songwriter, or something else along those lines.
They probably also talked about how she was a great entertainer, that she was lucky to have gotten her big breakthrough at such a young age, and that she was extremely talented. People knew her as the extremely popular singer-songwriter, there was hardly anyone who hadn’t heard of her in South Korea. Of course, IU was all of that; she was the bright, cheerful, and innocent singer after all.
But that’s the thing, people only knew her as IU, not as Lee Jieun. They rarely saw the girl behind IU, the girl who loved singing and music more than anything else in the world, the girl who lost her innocence in the harshness of the music industry, the girl who struggled with her inner demons every day.
They never knew that behind the sparkling stage, behind the smiles and spotlight, behind the cheers of fans, behind her happiness and all the fame, was a shadow of a person. It was impossible for her to keep smiling behind the curtain.
IU was always happy; she was always smiling regardless of the situation. But Lee Jieun was tired, Lee Jieun had gradually grown weary of everything. Yes, Lee Jieun still loved singing. She enjoyed how her voice enamoured and healed people, how it cheered them up and even inspired them. But IU wasn't just known for her singing, she was beyond the image of just being a singer, she was the embodiment of perfection, a complete package of sorts.
IU was the polite laughter that was required of her during variety shows. IU was cute and bright; she was the nation's little sister. Sure, there were days when Lee Jieun loved IU. It had always been her dream to become a singer, after all. But there were times when Lee Jieun broke under the limelight of IU, Jieun was gradually forgetting herself to keep up the image of IU, and she was sick of it.
She hated what IU had become. Just a singer, actress and celebrity that everyone wanted her to be. She was tired of how she started to see herself from other people’s perspective, she had become what people had made her to be and not what she used to be.
The sleepless nights were filled with practice, producing, shooting dramas, and an overly packed schedule. Everything that had been normal for her, things that had kept her going and distracted her, soon started to suffocate her and she only noticed it when everything started to feel heavy not on the outside but inside. Finally, it all took a toll on her, not on IU, but on Lee Jieun.
--
In a small restaurant in a rather shabby part of Seoul, Lee Jieun sat in a corner, drowning herself in her sorrows.
She was not a fan of alcohol, basically she doesn't like to do anything that can be bad for her vocal, drinking alcohol for example. She only drink on special occasions, like when she had something to celebrate with her co-workers and friends on a good day.
But she felt like she really needed it that night. She had been grieving for her friend since the past few days. She had thought that after Jonghyun, she wouldn't have to deal with that kind of pain again in the future. How wrong had she been.
Not only her best friend Sulli who she had adored so much, but Hara also followed little more than a month later. The irony of how both of them had smiled, congratulating her for her new album but little did she know that they were in so much pain. She still couldn't believe that she had lost two of her friends within the time period of a month.
Some people were worried that she would be next. Well, they were right to worry. Losing her friends was her breaking point and right now, she was struggling to hold onto her sanity.
That's why she was here, trying to fill the void and the emptiness with alcohol, numbing not just her body but her brain so it would stop hurting, so that she wouldn't be in pain and she could forget–even if only for a night.
--
It was almost midnight when Yoongi decided that he finally needed a break from his studio. It isn't all that uncommon to find him in the studio writing and composing music all day. He's such a hardworking individual and also a perfectionist. That's why he's always incredibly hard on himself. Especially now that BTS became such a big name in the industry, his worries double whenever they get ready to drop new music because he feels a burden to release good music.
If he was a robot he'd probably spend all his day working and working non stop. But he was a human after all, and he couldn't deny his body protest any longer, he was extremely tired after a day of producing. He usually needed alcohol during such nights, it became his friend to help him stay sane.
He strolled down the streets of Seoul with his hat and mask on to hide his identity. Sure, he loved his fans, but he didn't want them to disturb his private time which was a luxury for him.
He arrived in front of a small restaurant. It was rather shabby, small, and dimly lit. There's nothing interesting that'll caught the eyes of passer by.
People might wonder why a famous superstar like him had gone to such a place.
But that place holds so many memories of him with his members. They were regulars there when they were nobodies and barely had money for food. The ahjumma there was really nice and always give them more food than the actual portion despite not having much herself. Now that he made a lot of money, he always try to return her kindness by leaving a huge amount of tip secretly, because he know that the she would reject it if he give it straight away.
Yoongi entered the restaurant. It was still the same as the last time he was there. He was relieved to see that the place was almost empty and only two tables were occupied. The familiar ahjumma was behind the cashier, reading a newspaper.
"Ahjumma..." Yoongi called.
The woman lifted his head and she seemed to recognize him immediately. "Ahh, is it you?"
Yoongi lowered his mask a little. "Yes ahjumma, it's me," he gave her his signature gummy smile.
"Aigoo... It's been a while since your last visit. Did you come here alone or with your members?" She seemed genuinely happy to see him.
"I'm alone, ahjumma."
The ahjumma nodded, but she didn't miss to notice his tired face and a dark bags under his eyes. It was clear that he had been working himself too hard again. Over the years she had witness him and his members grow up and went through all their phase.
It still amazed her sometimes that her regular costumer is now a famous superstar. But it warmth her heart that despite his status, he still stay humble and down to earth.
She smiled warmly at the tired boy, "ahh... The usual?"
"No, I'll just take a soju and tteokboki, please."
"Okay," she wrote down his order. "Ahh, unfortunately your usual spot was occupied at the moment." She looked at him apologetically.
"It's fine, I'll just sit somewhere else."
She nodded again and then excused herself to prepare his order.
Yoongi shifted his gaze to the corner of the room where he usually sat, and his eyes landed on her. He couldn't see her face properly as she was wearing glasses and a hoodie that was too big for her petite frame. But there was something familiar about her.
She lifted her head a little and that was when he recognized her. At first, he thought that his eyes were playing tricks on him. But after a second look, he was sure that the person that was currently sitting at his usual spot was indeed IU.
He was wondering what on earth was IU doing here. He could ask himself the same thing, but still, it was IU. Surely, this was not the place you would expect IU to be at.
He glanced at the tables where a man was checking her out every five seconds. They seemed like they were about to approach her table, so he decided to do something that he never thought he would do.
Yoongi sat down in the chair in front of her, and the man immediately backed off. Jieun didn't notice him at first. She was so absorbed with what was in her hands that she didn't see what was in front of her.
Yoongi was amused that she didn't seem to notice his presence, so he took his time to observe her. She looked very pale. Even with her big glasses he could still see her dark circles. She seemed so worn out. Not to mention, her eyes were red, probably due to crying, and from what he could see, she had almost finished her second bottle of soju.
"Tired?" he finally spoke, breaking the silence.
She jolted in her seat, genuinely surprised at the voice that brought her out of her thoughts. Jieun looked up and she recognized him in an instant, since he had already taken off his mask earlier.
Did she know him? Of course, she did, who didn't know BTS? After winning two Billboard Awards, they were like the biggest group in Korea or maybe even in the world right now.
They had met a few times at music shows and awards events, but they just briefly greeted each other in a sunbae-hoobae way. She never knew him or other BTS members personally despite the rumours that their maknae was a big fan of her.
She didn't know how to address him, so she put on the mask she always wore as IU, even though her current state of appearance betrayed her.
"Hi... You're Suga of BTS, right?" IU took off her glasses. She was bright, even at midnight, after all she was IU.
Yoongi smiled softly and nodded his head. "You still didn't answer my question sunbaenim..." A long pregnant silence settled between them "You're tired, aren't you?" It was a blunt thing to say to a stranger, especially considering her status as his senior. But it was in his nature, Min Yoongi didn't have a filter, unlike Suga.
There was something about his voice and the way he tenderly looked at her that made cracked the mask she wore in public. She felt like he was staring into her soul, and she knew that he understood. So, she nodded.
"Yes," her voice trembled, unlike the bright and cheerful tone she had used earlier.
It was then that she let her walls down. Maybe it was the way he asked her, or it could be the way he could see right through her and saw not IU, but the Jieun who had been holding in everything since the beginning.