Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ouyang Zizhen’s desk is the closest to the water dispenser. This makes his mother happy because he is more hydrated than he has ever been; and gives him easy access to the office gossip he so dearly craves as a jaded intern.

In the two months that Ouyang Zizhen has worked here, he has learned that no one is above spreading careless and unchecked rumours about their superiors and coworkers alike.

Today, the following conversation takes place between the marketing communications intern and the tech intern:

“Hey, did you see the CEO’s new secretary yet?”

“I did, he’s hot. I think at least four people dropped their morning coffee when he passed by my department. It was great!”

The former intern shakes his head and tuts, “Everyone knows that. The question is who has the hots for the hot secretary.”

He looks proud of that line too. Ouyang Zizhen cringes internally.

“...”

“Who else but the one he works closest to?”

“You can’t be serious. Senior Wei just got married four months ago!”

“Pretty faces like those can turn anyone’s head.”

Ouyang Zizhen doesn’t doubt it, he has seen Lan Wangji after all, but he also believes Senior Wei to be loyal to his spouse.

The next few days are not kind to Ouyang Zizhen’s belief.

He finally gets accepted into the private server that is dressed up as an advice blog for new mothers but is actually an anonymous way for exchanging news about co-worker parties, promotion leaks, and most importantly, office scandals.

Lan Wangji seems to be the hot topic all around. Some are adding him to their ‘would bang in a heartbeat if asked’ lists and others are complaining about how his recruitment has ruined opportunities for internal promotion.

‘Does anyone actually want to be Wei Wuxian’s secretary or are you all fucking with me?’ [Anon455, 11:30 a.m.]

‘It has to be a troll. Have you seen the turnover of that job? I’m surprised he hasn’t been fired yet. How long has it been? 2 weeks?’ [Admin3, 12:00 p.m.]

‘That’s very curious. I don’t think the boss has been able to tolerate anyone for this long. I wonder what’s so special about him.’ [Anon567, 12:13 p.m.]

‘I’m assuming you haven’t seen Lan Wangji yet.’ [Admin3, 12:14 p.m.]

‘Looks aren’t everything. Besides, boss has had good-looking secretaries before.’ [Anon567, 12:16 p.m.]

‘Now I’m 100% sure you haven’t seen Lan Wangji.’ [Admin3, 12:20 p.m.]

Just then, Lan Wangji happens to walk by Ouyang Zizhen’s desk, making him snap his laptop shut in panic.

Their operations are carried out on three floors of a high-rise building in the centre of the city. They don’t follow unnecessary hierarchy in that the floors are divided by practicality rather than comfort. The upper floors are reserved for board rooms and the lower ones for a reception, filing, and accounting departments.

Finally, almost all the office personnel who need to be in constant communication with each other are located on the second floor, including their CEO.

This is why when Lan Wangji walks straight into Senior Wei’s office, yet again bypassing the private desk provided for him outside, voices near the water dispenser rise in protest.

“Why is he always in there? I don’t think I’ve seen him come out even for lunch.”

“Senior Wei must need him close, he’s a busy man after all.”

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too close?”

Ouyang Zizhen thinks it best to tune them out. There’s just no way. He knows Senior Wei– well, he knows of Senior Wei. He had come to give a lecture at his university last fall. He’d been brilliant and kind, standing out amongst the sea of stuck up external lecturers who had been condescending at best.

Ouyang Zizhen had decided right then and there that he would work at Senior Wei’s company. The rigorous application process was worth it for being the only paid intern in his class.

So while he does not actually know Wei Wuxian, he certainly is grateful to him, accumulating both respect and admiration for the man. He doesn’t wish to see him lose face, thus begins his journey to prove everyone wrong. But for that, he has to be in the thick of it all.

For the next week, he tracks the server diligently for anything about the supposed affair, and scoots his chair microscopically closer to the water dispenser every hour.

Turns out, he needn’t have bothered. The “affair” is all anyone seems to talk about nowadays.

On the server where the seasoned gossip veterans reside:

‘Did anyone notice Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were at the filing department yesterday?’ [Anon788, 8:00 a.m.]

‘I was busy, did something happen?’ [Anon450, 8:05 a.m.]

‘Did they bang or what?’ [Anon674, 8:07 a.m.]

‘No, but there was an accident. One of the cabinets tipped over.’ [Anon788, 8:15 a.m.]

‘Fascinating.’ [Admin6, 8:16 a.m.]

‘Listen to the whole thing first. Both the receptionist and I rushed over when we heard a crash.’ [Anon788, 8:19 a.m.]

‘Be quick then, don’t leave me hanging!’ [Admin6, 8:20 a.m.]

‘I would if you increased the word limit on this thing. Anyway what we found was the boss and the sec hugging.’ [Anon788, 8:23 a.m.]

‘No way.’ [Anon450, 8:24 a.m.]

‘I’m not kidding. Boss was running his hands all over him!’ [Anon788, 8:26 a.m.]

‘Maybe he was checking him over? I mean you did say a cabinet fell. He could have gotten hurt.’ [Anon1200, 8:30 a.m.]

‘Ah, the baby anons, ever the optimists.’ [Admin6, 8:33 a.m.]

‘I’m sure the cabinet didn’t fall on Lan Wangji’s ass.’ [Anon788, 8:34 a.m.]

‘If that’s how you check people over, I wouldn’t mind getting an inspection myself ;)’ [Anon674, 8:35 a.m.]

‘Are they even trying to hide it? Smh.’ [Anon450, 8:40 a.m.]

And in the water dispenser gossip corner that the interns have claimed:

“You won’t believe what happened!”

“Do I have to ask?”

“Okay, so I was sitting in on that marketing conference I told you about. And things started to get rocky between Senior Wei and the Moling representative.

Right, so Senior Wei started getting super mad. It was scary, I’m telling you! But just as I thought he would start throwing punches, guess what?”

“What?”

“Lan Wangji grabbed his hand under the table!”

“Are you fucking with me?”

“No for real, and as soon as he did it, Senior Wei completely deflated. Even that Moling representative was surprised!”

All Ouyang Zizhen hears for two days is talk. He has not actually seen either Senior Wei or Lan Wangji, for that matter, act in any way other than professional towards each other.

That is, until Ouyang Zizhen, with only two hours of sleep and just as many cups of coffee fuelling him, ventures out of the office during his break to buy better coffee. The coffee machine in the office is just fine, but it has suffered a similar fate to the water dispenser in that it attracts gossip exchanges.

This is why he stumbles across the scene, and oh what a scene it is.

Senior Wei and Lan Wangji are standing together on the boiling asphalt under the afternoon sun. Senior Wei, halfway into the car awaiting him, grabs the hand Lan Wangji has raised in goodbye. And kisses his palm.

Ouyang Zizhen, using the last of his coffee fuel, propels himself back into the building. He doesn’t stop until he is seated at his desk, laptop open.

The server is silent— for now.

<>

Nothing really happens for the next few days. Senior Wei, as he has found out through the grapevine, is on a business trip.

To make up for this, a lot of things happen in quick succession when he comes back.

On the day after Senior Wei’s return, the server loses their mind over leaked security footage which has to be a privacy breach that can get them all fired. That’s probably why the vetting process for server members takes upwards of a month.

It’s not of the inside of the office— which would be even worse— but of the basement parking that is reserved for the higher-ups.

Apparently, Senior Wei and Lan Wangji have been arriving to the office together the whole time. As if this wasn’t enough (hello? why the hell is the CEO driving his secretary to the office?), a testimonial from the security guard who mans the parking lot claims that Wei Wuxian often carries his sleeping secretary to the car when they have stayed there past office hours.

Some of the Water Dispenser Intern Corner (WDIC), as Ouyang Zizhen has started to refer to them, must be part of the server too. This is the only explanation as to why they practically jump in delight whenever Senior Wei or Lan Wangji arrive looking even slightly sleep-deprived.

This series of events which continues to pull on the tether of belief Ouyang Zizhen is hanging by, concludes with a grand finale.

On Wednesday, Lan Wangji trots up to the elevators where Senior Wei stands and hands him a tie that is unusually absent from his collar.

“Oh, thanks!” Senior Wei grins.

“Mn, don’t forget it next time.” Lan Wangji replies.

Ouyang Zizhen can barely keep up with the server’s comments afterwords.

‘That is boss’ favourite tie.’ [Anon355, 9:50 a.m.]

‘Yeah we know. Everyone knows. He wears it during the big meetings. Next.’ [Admin2, 9:51 a.m.]

‘Lan Wangji folded it?! Who folds a tie??’ [Anon265, 9:52 a.m.]

‘I bet he ironed it.’ [Anon340, 9:53 a.m.]

‘Who irons a tie?!’ [Anon265, 9:54 a.m.]

‘Someone who has time to do so the morning after.’ [Admin3, 9:55 a.m.]

‘Maybe he does his laundry?’ [Anon1200, 10:00 a.m.]

‘Baby anon...’ [Admin1, 10:01 a.m.]

‘The day Lan Wangji does laundry for anyone, I will eat my sock.’ [Anon333, 10:02 a.m.]

<>

Just when Ouyang Zizhen thinks the worst of it is over, Friday rolls over. And with it comes a beautiful, elegant lady dressed in muted gold.

According to the WDIC she asked a passing intern to show her to Senior Wei’s office.

“I’m pretty sure she is carrying the famous soup Senior Wei’s sister makes. I think she might be Senior Wei’s wife.”

And with this proclamation, the entire office’s eyes are on the mysterious woman.

Senior Wei happens to be stepping out of his office for lunch, Lan Wangji following close behind. The area within a five metre radius of them goes silent; everyone is sitting at the edge of their seats. This is the showdown they never expected to witness.

Lan Wangji’s face remains stoic as ever.

Senior Wei seems to be all smiles though, taking the clear container of soup from his supposed wife and handing it to his supposed secret lover, Lan Wangji.

Everyone seems to hold their breath. Lan Wangji doesn’t move, not even to go to the break room to reheat the soup or something— clearly ignoring the opportunity presented to him to take himself out of this situation. He just holds the soup and stands there, occasionally moving it out of the way when Senior Wei’s widely gesticulating hands come a little too close to knocking it down.

The three of them are quite far from the general office area so it’s impossible to hear what they’re saying, but Ouyang Zizhen is sure he’ll hear plenty of theories about it later.

Finally, they begin to move, and the office consequently bursts into a flurry of movement.

Just as they are passing the cluster of desks by the elevator, Senior Wei turns to Lan Wangji and says, “Oh that reminds me, did you manage to get reservations for tonight?”

When Lan Wangji nods in affirmation, Senior Wei starts to gush about its scenic settings to the woman. She smiles fondly in return.

The WDIC is in uproar as soon as the elevator doors close behind them.

“Did he just ask his mistress to make dinner reservations for him and his wife?!”

“That’s kind of a rude word...”

“Well is he not?”

Silence.

The server hears about this not long after.

‘Do you think they have an open relationship?’ [Anon122, 2:00 p.m.]

‘I think there is solid evidence for that.’ [Anon442, 2:03 p.m.]

‘Elaborate.’ [Admin4, 2:04 p.m.]

‘Well have you noticed how friendly Wen Qing is with Lan Wangji for starts? She is Wei Wuxian’s closest friend and business partner, wouldn’t she be opposed to unethical behaviour?’ [Anon442, 2:10 p.m.]

‘I’ve seen her pat Lan Wangji’s head. Like a puppy.’ [Anon889, 2:12 p.m.]

‘No one believes you. Stop spreading false information.’ [Anon122, 2:15 p.m.]

‘Anyway, sources say she often teases him about knowing Wei Wuxian best. Before you say anything please consider the unlikelihood of Wen Qing teasing anyone.’ [Anon422, 2:20 p.m.]

‘So you’re saying Wen Qing not only knows but approves of Wei Wuxian’s relationship with Lan Wangji?’ [Admin5, 2:25 p.m.]

‘Have you seen Wen Qing speak with Mo Xuanyu? Qin Su? Or any other secretaries Wei Wuxian has gone through in the past month?’ [Anon422, 2:30 p.m.]

‘You’re certainly going somewhere with this.’ [Admin5, 2:33 p.m.]

‘TLDR: Wen Qing is aware of the affair and isn’t doing anything to stop it. She was at Wei Wuxian’s wedding for god’s sake!’ [Anon422, 2:37 p.m.]

‘Hmm, you have a point. I think boss’ wife’s behaviour towards Lan Wangji is peculiar too.’ [Admin6, 2:40 p.m.]

‘How?’ [Admin5, 2:41 p.m.]

‘The guard at the entrance said she gave them both a hug before departing. Who hugs their husband’s secretary?’ [Admin6, 2:45 p.m.]

‘Do you think they might be in a polyamorous relationship?’ [Admin5, 2:47 p.m.]

‘Hard to tell. But she definitely knows something’s up.’ [Admin6, 2:50 p.m.]

The weekend seems to mellow everyone out. The possibility of the supposed affair being not so much an affair but a conscious decision made by all parties involved saps the fun out of it.

Some people even start to have one-sided conversations with Lan Wangji. It’s like when he’s collectively demoted as their topic of interest, he suddenly becomes more approachable.

Ouyang Zizhen is surprised no one tried to get an exclusive scoop out of him earlier, but that’s probably because they don’t consider Lan Wangji to be oblivious to their invasive questions.

“Lan Wangji seems different today, don’t you think?” Someone in the WDIC pipes up.

“What do you mean?”

“He looks the same to me.”

“You’re both so stupid sometimes. He’s been out here the whole morning.”

Ah, Ouyang Zizhen thinks, that could be another reason for the spike in one-sided conversations.

“Has he been to Senior Wei’s office at all?”

“I don’t think-“

The conversation stops there as they all watch Lan Wangji wide-eyed. He has taken a seat on the infamously neglected desk outside the CEO’s office.

As if this isn’t mildly concerning in itself, as the lunch break approaches, so does the HR head, Nie Huaisang. He stops at Lan Wangji’s desk, examining the dying fern on its dusty corner with interest.

It isn’t a long conversation, he’s only there long enough for pleasantries. But it’s enough to cause a ripple effect.

‘Is Lan Wangji going to get fired?’ [Anon557, 12:45 p.m.]

‘I don’t like the guy but that’d be unfair. He’s the one in the weaker position. It’s not like boss will face any consequences.’ [Admin7, 12:47 p.m.]

‘You don’t like Lan Wangji??’ [Anon557, 12:50 p.m.]

‘That’s what you got from it?’ [Admin7, 12:55 p.m.]

‘Okay I’ve been kind of scared to say this, but have any of you noticed how uncomfortable Lan Wangji looks at some of CEO’s advances?’ [Anon120, 1:00 p.m.]

‘He looks the same to me all the time.’ [Anon332, 1:02 p.m.]

‘Well... yeah. But have you seen how averse he is to touch? He practically walks along the walls when the office is crowded.’ [Anon120, 1:10 p.m.]

‘I’ve noticed that. He doesn’t pull away from boss though.’ [Anon332, 1:14 p.m.]

‘Didn’t you see them at the cafeteria a few weeks back? It was probably lost in the other messages but boss was being quite pushy with him.’ [Anon120, 1:20 p.m.]

‘Wait even I don’t know about this.’ [Admin7, 1:21 p.m.]

‘I think he was trying to get him to speak to someone on the phone. Lan Wangji seemed very uncomfortable and kept pushing the phone away. Boss finally just held both his wrists in his hand and put the phone to his ear.’ [Anon120, 1:30 p.m.]

‘Oh my god, what? How did this get buried in the server?’ [Admin7, 1:32 p.m.]

‘I think it was around the filing cabinet incident so no one really paid it any mind.’ [Anon120, 1:35 p.m.]

‘What the hell.’ [Admin3, 1:36 p.m.]

‘What?! That’s so inappropriate!’ [Anon776, 1:36 p.m.]

‘Do you guys think... he’s maybe being taken advantage of?’ [Anon646, 1:37 p.m.]

‘We can’t say that for sure but there’s definitely some power imbalance.’ [Admin2, 1:38 p.m.]

‘Yeah there is. Isn’t it weird that boss made him work from his office from the get go? He doesn’t even let him go out for lunch, and when he does boss is with him.’ (1/2) [Anon153, 1:40 p.m.]

‘He leaves him with no time or space to mingle with the rest of the office. Need I reiterate that this is going on from day one?’ (2/2) [Anon153, 1:40 p.m.]

‘I think we should try making him feel like he can at least talk to us if that’s the case. This is getting weird.’ [Admin6, 1:45 p.m.]

‘If he doesn’t get fired first...’ [Anon557, 1:46 p.m.]

Despite their cynicism, Lan Wangji does not in fact get fired. Moreover, he gets approached by a new employee every time he does venture out of Senior Wei’s office.

He hasn’t returned to his desk after that one time, and the anomaly puzzles the WDIC, and even Ouyang Zizhen to some degree. The server, on the other hand, seems to have glossed over it in favour of their ever-growing saviour complex.

Ouyang Zizhen, who has read every opinion on the matter up to this point whilst forming none of his own, is in desperate need of a break.

Chapter Text

Nie Huaisang doesn’t know how to say this to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, but this really is not their area of expertise.

When he had decided to mention the matter to Wen Qing two days ago, she’d insisted on resolving it right then and there by calling the topics of the conversation to her office in the middle of working hours.

The company’s ten year anniversary dinner was soon approaching, and it showed— both in the smidges of dark circles under Wei Wuxian’s eyes, and the minuscule droop in Lan Wangji’s ramrod straight posture.

“People think we’re having an affair?!” Wei Wuxian had exclaimed, suddenly looking more awake than he had in days.

“Nice.” Lan Wangji nodded sagely.

“What do you mean nice?!”

“Am I not your first choice for an illicit love story Wei Ying?”

“Of course you- why would you be my illicit love story? You’re my husband!”

Nie Huaisang had made a valiant effort not to laugh.

Wei Wuxian spent the next twenty minutes going down a spiral of disbelief.

(“I can’t believe people think I’m cheating on my husband with my husband.”

“Wife.” Wen Qing pointed out.

“Wife?!”

“You’re married to Mianmian apparently.”

“What kind of an idiot would think— Lan Zhan don’t you dare laugh on the inside! You think I can’t tell?”)

And Nie Huaisang knew once the disbelief had worn off, he would start cooking something up. What he hadn’t predicted was Lan Wangji’s unyielding support of Wei Wuxian’s schemes.

Nie Huaisang believes the endless unsolicited prompting Lan Wangji received by peers to share his negative experience with the CEO is what made him so agreeable in the end.

“I refuse to let people believe this affair is one-sided.” was his response to Wen Qing desperately trying to stop this disaster train in its tracks.

And that is what led to what Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji believe is a successful campaign against the office personnel and their assumptions. It is not— successful that is.

As smart as Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are, they are not the kind of smart suited to revenge. Nie Huaisang appreciates the effort all the same, because while it is disastrous for them, it’s exceedingly entertaining for him.

So without any roadblocks in form of an amused Nie Huaisang or a resigned Wen Qing, they go ahead with their plan to ‘fuck with the office’.

It starts out fairly innocuously: Lan Wangji, in an effort to show that he returns his employer’s affections, brings Wei Wuxian a different kind of flower everyday.

It’s very romantic— in theory.

In reality, since Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are still swamped with work, he is only able to acquire said flowers through the help of their mutual friend and florist, Xiao Xingchen.

Nie Huaisang already sees the gears whirring in everyone’s heads before the countless gossip servers start to comment on it.

[Server 8.0 - Recipes for New Moms and Other Life Advice]

‘Hello?? Cute boy has been bringing Lan Wangji flowers for a week now. Do you really think him and boss broke up?’ [Mom150, 11:43 a.m.]

‘Hmm I don’t know... it seems like he’s still trying to win Lan Wangji over.’ [Mom100, 11:45 a.m.]

[Server 2.0 - Turtledove Breeding Guide + How to Train Your New Mail Delivery Dove]

‘I cannot believe Lan Wangji gave the flowers his admirer bought for him to boss, the audacity of this man.’ [Dove130, 1:00 p.m.]

‘What a savage though, he’s showing boss how he deserves to be treated.’ [Dove267, 1:03 p.m.]

<>

Their second attempt at getting one over everyone is even worse.

They are waiting for the elevator, standing just far enough from the doors to be in hearing range. This must be another attempt on Lan Wangji’s part to show that he is Very Into This Affair.

He pulls at Wei Wuxian’s lapels and leans in just close enough to brush his nose against his collar.

Nie Huaisang realises what the problem is. As much as Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji want to mess with the office, they also tiptoe the fine line between said messing around and full on inappropriate work behaviour.

Nie Huaisang understands why—after all they still have a reputation to uphold— but he just wishes they would kiss and be done with it.

Instead, Lan Wangji pulls back and says, “You smell different today. It’s nice.”

Nie Huaisang wants to bang his head against the nearest desk.

Of course the office has selective sight in that they don’t see the loving expressions on their faces but something else altogether.

[Server 7.0 - Home Improvement: How to Build a Shelf With Branches in Your Backyard]

‘So... you think boss has other lovers?’ [Shelf145, 5:00 p.m.]

‘I feel bad for Lan Wangji. He’s just one of the countless others? It must be so draining.’ [Shelf233, 5:03 p.m.]

‘WHY WON’T HE JUST BREAK UP WITH BOSS AND DATE CUTE FLOWER BOY.’ [Shelf411, 5:10 p.m.]

<>

Wei Wuxian can only let Lan Wangji carry the burden of executing their plan for so long.

“I have to up the ante.” He informs Nie Huaisang over a 3am call.

Since Wei Wuxian is just as much an idiot in love but lacks all the subtlety of Lan Wangji, a grandiose gesture is the way to go.

Therefore, on Monday morning Lan Wangji’s desk is covered in red roses.

When they walk into the office together, Wei Wuxian makes a sweeping gesture and says, “Do you like it?”

Lan Wangji, clearly surprised, gives a slow nod.

“So, will you go with me to the company dinner?” Wei Wuxian asks, giving his husband a charming grin.

A barely noticeable smile blooms on Lan Wangji’s face. “Yes, of course.”

Hopeless. They’re hopeless, Nie Huaisang concludes.

[Server 3.0 - Sweater Sewing for Cats (You Want Yarn, Have it Then)]

‘I can’t believe boss one-upped flower boy, I guess everyone’s petty in love.’ [Stitch170, 9:00 a.m.]

‘It seems very Look I Have More Money I Can Treat You Better.’ [Stitch344, 9:05 a.m.]

‘I think it’s sweet...’ [Stitch811, 9:06 a.m.]

‘Dude he’s literally taking his mistress instead of his wife to the dinner.’ [Stitch180, 9:09 a.m.]

[Server 10.0 - Weekly Bread Updates: Featuring Sourdough]

‘I can’t believe Lan Wangji said yes to him.’ [Sourdough443, 9:15 a.m.]

‘What else is he supposed to do? Say no to the most powerful man in the company?’ [Sourdough511, 9:17 a.m.]

‘Why are you so agressive? Did you forget they’re an item? It’s not like Lan Wangji can’t quit if he’s as uncomfortable as you all say.’ (1/2) [Sourdough112, 9:20 a.m.]

‘Also, he seemed pretty happy about it. Have you ever considered that he is using boss just as much as boss is using him?’ (2/2) [Sourdough112, 9:20 a.m.]

‘I agree. Also, he’s recruited isn’t he? I heard he has no prior experience. Connections certainly help in that department.’ [Sourdough710, 9:24 a.m.]

‘Okay as much as I do agree that Lan Wangji has autonomy in the situation, I think you’re just jealous he’s doing the job ten times better than anyone before him.’ [Sourdough222, 9:30 a.m.]

{This thread has been uploaded to the Anonymous Parent Thread by Admin0}

<>

When the day of the fated dinner arrives, the office is divided. It’s a surprise they were even united at one point— Nie Huaisang dismisses it as just another one of Lan Wangji’s undiscovered powers.

He knows Wei Wuxian has spent all of his minimal free time sitting in some dark corner, rubbing his hands together like some comical villain. It is the perfect opportunity after all. He has the freedom to do what he pleases without the restraint of the office space and his position in it.

And he takes full advantage of it.

Nie Huaisang arrives just after Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji but he hears murmurs about their grand entrance at every corner of the room. Apparently they arrived arm in arm, dressed in matching suits.

Nie Huaisang looks closer. Ah, they’re even wearing their wedding bands. He assumes the people are probably drawing up ridiculous conclusions ranging from elopement to Lan Wangji wearing a fake ring in an attempt to assert claim over Wei Wuxian.

He greets them with a sly smile, “I assume you’re having fun. The decor looks great.”

“Lan Zhan talked me out of the ‘I love Lan Zhan’ banners.” Wei Wuxian frowns.

Lan Wangji looks like he wants to sigh. Wei Wuxian must have pitched worse ideas.

The hall begins to fill up as the hours pass, and the chance to network with the biggest socialites of the city takes precedence over petty gossip.

Even Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian get caught up in the tide of people who want to speak to the man of the evening. Nie Huaisang observes them silently and notes that they’re much better at fucking with people when they’re not actually trying.

Wei Wuxian has an arm around Lan Wangji’s waist at all times, and Lan Wangji seems to be doling out cheek kisses in proportion to every tiring conversation Wei Wuxian has. They’re almost hard to look at when they’re like this, sweet as syrup and positively glowing.

As if this is not enough to incite a riot— and even more HR complains— Lan Xichen enters the scene with A-Yuan. As soon as the child spots his parents, he squirms out of Lan Xichen’s grasp and barrels straight at them.

Since Wei Wuxian is closer, he’s the one who bears the brunt of A-Yuan’s momentum, stumbling slightly.

“Baba!” A-Yuan shouts in delight, wrapping himself around his dad’s leg.

Wei Wuxian grins at him and ignores Jin Guangshan in favour of lifting his son up. “A-Yuan!” He says back just as enthusiastically.

“CEO Wei has a kid?!” Nie Huaisang hears someone stage-whisper.

“He brought him to the dinner?!”

“Isn’t it inappropriate to have him near... you know...”

But then, in an almost satisfactory end to this circus, A-Yuan begins to tilt his body towards Lan Wangji and extends his arms out in demand.

“Dadda!” He giggles as Lan Wangji takes him from Wei Wuxian’s arms.

His reaction is more toned down than his husband but he kisses his son’s head affectionately.

Nie Huaisang can actually see the moment it clicks for all persons present, and takes delight in watching the colour drain from their faces.

<>

[Server 5.0 - Viruses for Anti-Vaxxer Supremacy]

‘So.’ [Virus143, 10:00 p.m.]

‘I think we owe them an apology.’ [Virus330, 10:01 p.m.]

‘What are we supposed to even say?? Sorry you were unaware of it but we all spent like three months thinking you were having an affair?’ [Virus555, 10:04 p.m.]

‘Why did we assume boss was married to a woman again?’ [Virus678, 10:06 p.m.]

‘...’ [Virus860, 10:10 p.m.]

[Server 9.0 - Sparkling Water Enthusiasts - Add Spice to the Water Dispenser]

‘I cannot believe I flirted with boss’ husband.’ [Bubble222, 10:01 p.m.]

‘YOU FLIRTED WITH LAN WANGJI?!’ [Bubble102, 10:03 p.m.]

‘HE IS VERY RESPECTFUL AND IT’S KIND OF HOT SUE ME.’ [Bubble222, 10:05 p.m.]

‘You’re giving me a headache.’ [Bubble750, 10:07 p.m.]

[Server 6.0 - Sell Your Office Supplies (Get Rich Quick Scheme!)]

‘So do you think Lan Wangji is cheating on boss with flower boy?’ [Paperclip880, 11:00 p.m.]

‘For the love of god please shut up.’ [Paperclip150, 11:03 p.m.]

{Paperclip150 deactivated}

—•—

Extra One: The Aftermath

It has been a week and people are still unable to look Lan Wangji in the eye. Senior Wei was intimidating from the start, so not much has changed there.

The server has been eerily quiet, and so has the WDIC. Even Ouyang Zizhen feels a pang of guilt for believing the rumours a tiny bit despite trying his best not to.

Unfortunately for him, he has to face that guilt head-on when he is asked to sit in for note-taking in the bi-monthly supplier meeting. At least he gets a seat that’s in a corner furthest from Senior Wei and Lan Wangji— small mercies really.

Their company’s primary supplier is the Jiang Corporation, the head of which is Senior Wei’s brother, Jiang Cheng.

While he is greeted enthusiastically by Senior Wei, Lan Wangji has a colder approach to the man. They barely speak to each other, and when they do it’s to contradict every point the other makes.

When Senior Wei finally grows tired of the petty arguments interfering with the serious discussions he sighs, “Lan Zhan, baobei, come on, he apologised to you months ago.”

“Only because you forced his hand.” Lan Wangji says stubbornly.

“Yeah as if he didn’t have to force you to listen to my apology! In fact, you know what? I take it back!” Jiang Cheng counters.

Senior Wei sighs. The Jiang Corporation representatives look on, just as long-suffering. Despite their protests, the two try to say as little as they can— as civilly as possible— to each other then onwards.

Afterwards, as the courtesy goodbyes are being said, Senior Wei motions him over.

“Ouyang Zizhen right?” He asks with a kind smile, “Could you do me a favour?”

“Anything!” Ouyang Zizhen yelps, eager to help.

“Can you ask Lan Wangji to help you with something? I need to speak with my brother about an important matter.” Senior Wei says.

Before Ouyang Zizhen can refute, he is already giving him a grateful grin and turning away to follow Jiang Cheng out.

Ouyang Zizhen gives himself two seconds to have a complete meltdown, then tentatively asks Lan Wangji if he can help him with printing.

He is expecting Lan Wangji to say that he has better things to do, or even frown and dismiss him as a lowly intern. Instead, Lan Wangji nods and follows him to the printing room.

Once there, he doesn’t even leave early to honour his prior commitments or something. Instead he spends the next fifteen minutes monotonously printing documents with Ouyang Zizhen.

It’s such a simple, one-man task that Ouyang Zizhen finds himself embarrassed asking for Lan Wangji’s assistance in the first place. In his defence, he’s bad at thinking on the spot.

Because things do not seem to be going his way, the printer jams. Ouyang Zizhen would usually just hit it, but that seems an undignified action in Lan Wangji’s presence. So he tries to very unsuccessfully pull out the ink cartridge. He gets two big ink stains on his shirt for his effort.

Lan Wangji takes the cartridge from his hands and places it back, not getting a single drop on himself somehow. Then he examines the stains on Ouyang Zizhen’s sleeves.

“Soaking it in rubbing alcohol should dissolve the stains.” He says.

“O-oh?” Ouyang Zizhen asks, taken aback.

“Mn. You can also use a dropper to put alcohol on the stain, then wash it normally.”

“Oh thank you!” Ouyang Zizhen replies.

Later, he logs on to the server for the last time.

‘Anon333 you better eat your sock.” [Anon1200, 4:00 p.m.]

{Anon1200 deactivated}

<>

Extra Two: Wen Qing’s Accidental Puppy-Eyed Lan Wangji Acquisition

During Wei Wuxian’s week-long business trip, Lan Wangji walks the office halls like a widower. And when he’s not being generally miserable, he’s overworking himself— barely making time for lunch and skipping his allotted breaks.

Wen Qing knows all of this because Wei Wuxian won’t stop calling her to ask about his husband every few hours.

She only starts getting genuinely concerned on the fourth day of Wei Wuxian’s absence. It’s past 10pm and she finds Lan Wangji wide awake, sitting on the small terrace outside Wei Wuxian’s office. He has one of Wei Wuxian’s spare coats draped around his shoulders.

“Not going home?” She asks, taking a seat next to him.

Lan Wangji shakes his head, “The auditor’s report just came in.”

“You don’t have to check it.” Wen Qing frowns, “We have people who are employed specifically to do just that.”

“I still want to check it for myself.” Lan Wangji replies.

“And what about A-Yuan?”

“Yanli jie has him for the night.”

“So what? You’re planning on sleeping here?” Wen Qing jokes.

Lan Wangji doesn’t answer but looks away, which is an answer in and of itself.

“You can’t be serious.” Wen Qing says, “What has gotten into you? Are you missing Wei Wuxian?”

“Of course.” Lan Wangji says, then continues in a lower tone, “That and...”

“And?”

“I do not want to hold him back.”

Wen Qing is stumped. “What do you mean?”

“I have no prior experience. Wei Ying only hired me because I worried too much.”

This must have been eating him up for ages, because Wen Qing has never heard him sound this unsure about anything. She can’t believe he’s managed to hide this from Wei Wuxian all this time.

“But you’re the best secretary he’s had.” Wen Qing says, still a little astonished.

She doesn’t know how Lan Wangji doesn’t see it but it could be because he has no comparisons to draw from. Wen Qing, in contrast, has seen all of Wei Wuxian’s short-lived secretaries and can confidently conclude that Lan Wangji surpasses them.

“I’m not so sure. Wei Ying cannot shout at me, and he will never fire me out of guilt.”

In that moment Lan Wangji looks so upset that Wen Qing cannot help herself from lifting her hand and gently patting his head. Lan Wangji allows it, which is concerning. His eyes do look a little misty.

“I’m not saying this because I pity you.” Wen Qing prefaces, “But I genuinely do believe you’re the best choice for this position.”

Before Lan Wangji can open his mouth to protest, Wen Qing continues, “The reason Wei Wuxian fired so many secretaries is because they were unable to keep up with him.

He has way too many responsibilities and not enough time for errors. His secretaries were constantly stressed out and his whimsical schedule changes were not a hit. You, on the other hand, don’t even use a planner. I don’t know how you fit all of it in your head but it works because he hasn’t been late to a single thing since you arrived.

You also know him best— both his temperament and his creative process. You’ve honestly been a blessing because I certainly don’t miss his monthly ‘I’m going to quit’ sessions.”

“Wei Ying wanted to quit?” Lan Wangji asks, once again turning what Wen Qing can only describe as his puppy eyes at her.

“Not anymore.”

Lan Wangji nods and goes quiet, presumably lost in thought for a few long seconds.

“I just don’t want to harm the company in the long-run. I know how much it means to him.”

Wen Qing resists the urge to pat his pitiable head again.

“Overworking will only do more harm than good.” Wen Qing tells him sternly, “Now go home and don’t let me see you until 9am tomorrow.”

<>

A few weeks later, the fern on Lan Wangji’s desk catches her eye. He had mentioned in passing that someone had taken to watering it. It certainly looks rejuvenated.

She doesn’t know why she approaches the plant, but she’s glad she does. Because under it is a note with three job listings in their rival company.

She knows Lan Wangji is disturbed by the amount of times he is cajoled into speaking ill of Wei Wuxian, but this is a step too far. Insinuating that Lan Wangji should get a job elsewhere is over the line.

She crushes the paper in her grip. Lan Wangji doesn’t need to see this. She plans to deal with it on her own. Perhaps Nie Huaisang can help.

<>