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My home planet had two moons. The biggest was a gentle blue, the lesser being a light purple. Individually, they were both pretty, and paired together, even more so. A perfect duo. Complimentary.
I often found myself lost in their light. It was comforting to stare up at them. My world, and the world of others, the galaxy, was changing. Faster every year. Speeding up since I was born, but the moons? The moons didn’t change, and I knew they wouldn’t. Not in my lifetime. The morning of the day my city was attacked, I had no idea so much could happen in so little time. It’s barely been a month, and I’ve been forced to change too. To survive.
I shuffled my feet on the dirt, and slouched over on the ledge. It was late. I was tired in every way possible. The local bugs chirped in the distance, letting the world pulse with life even in the dark. Behind me, the makeshift base was quiet. Asleep. With my arms already gripped around myself, I rubbed, softly. There was only a slight breeze, and the temperature was nice. Ideal weather. I caressed myself anyway.
A soft voice called my name. I jumped. I wasn’t expecting company. I immediately stiffened. My head turned to search for the voice, while my hands flew to rest on the ground on either side of me. Someone had seen me curled over.
I found the voice, and my breath caught. Out of all people, it was a Jedi. The Jedi, the one who was stationed here to help my people reclaim our capital. She was a togruta, a species I had very little contact with in the past. She had orange skin, and white markings, her lekku blue and white. I was stunned. It took me some moments to recover.
She called my name again, seeming hesitant. “That… is your name, right?”
I swallowed, but nodded.
There was a pause. A sort of tension in the air.
She took a step towards the natural bench I sat on. “What are you…” Her eyes swept across the surroundings. “Doing out here?”
For a moment, I was stunned. The Jedi was talking to me?
I avoided eye contact. “I couldn’t sleep.”
Fearing I’d somehow disrespect a Jedi, I fought the instinct to turn away from when she came closer, though I couldn’t help the awkward shift of my shoulders. She stopped beside me, and casually sat down.
Expectantly, I stared, before snapping my gaze back towards the glowing trees. There was only the soft and constant chirping of the night bugs to bother the night silence. She didn’t say anything. I shuffled my feet despite not wanting to squirm.
I wasn’t sure how to treat a Jedi. I thought of everything I’ve heard of them. I knew some of my people didn’t respect the Jedi, because they didn’t believe they were really helping with the war. The Jedi was here though. To help? Only the next few days would tell. I silently prayed she was a Jedi like the stories, not the rumours.
I gathered the courage, and out of the corner of my eye, I studied her. She was looking beyond the distance, distracted as I was before. She had blue eyes, and darkened lips. Her face was soft, yet mature. She looked to be thinking thoughts I couldn’t have even comprehended, while seeming at peace. I stared, again.
Without turning her head, her eyes flashed over to mine. The connection was brief, half a moment. I instantly looked away, shame colouring my cheeks. My arms came up to hug myself as I racked my brain with anything to say, anything to move on from my embarrassment. Obviously, I would have never gotten away with spying on a Jedi, especially not one sitting five inches from me. I couldn’t believe myself.
Struggling, I got out, “H-How do you know my name?”
Fortunately, it was a good question. I didn’t remember giving it to her. I didn’t even remember meeting her, not personally. I had only seen her from afar. It’s not like I was high up or special, she had no reason to know me as anything other than a faceless victim.
I couldn’t see her expression, but her voice was natural. “Eban, he told me.”
I couldn’t help but furrow my brows. “Eban? Why would he…?” I trailed off.
Eban was a diplomat in the kingdom, or, he was. The man was retired, yet his popularity remained. When the separatists attacked, and left the people of Elyzin and our hope in tatters, Eban was quick to unite the survivors and organize our hiding.
“He gave me a tour, introduced me to some families.” I assumed she shrugged. “For morale, he said. Pointed out a few people too, you were included.”
I nodded, that sounded like him.
“He seems like a good leader.” She finished, then leaning back to put weight on her arms.
She was right, but I didn’t say anything.
After a moment, I spoke up again, “I’m sorry but, I don’t... I don’t know your name.” Thinking, I added, “Master Jedi.” It came out sounding stupid.
She hummed, amused. “I’m still a padawan. You don’t have to be too nervous. I promise I won’t bite.”
Bite? I blinked, thinking of the venomous rumours associated with togruta.
She laughed, sensing my thoughts.
“No, I promise.”
I snapped my head to her. Togruta must have gotten that often, after all, Jedi can’t really read thoughts, can they?
She shook head, amused. “No, I can’t read your thoughts either.”
Her head finally faced my direction. She held up a hand, and smiled, lightly.
“Ahsoka Tano.”
I blinked. Turning towards her, I looked down at Ahsoka’s offer. Hesitant, my hand rose, and gently, she gripped it. An easy grasp, with warm skin. My heart leapt feeling her fingers against my own. She had light calluses, assumingly from lightsaber wielding. She nodded them down once. Completely stupefied, I responded with my name. She already knew it, and I knew she knew it, but she nodded. The left corner of her lips rose, satisfied, as though she had heard it for the first time. She dropped my hand, and leaned back on her arms. I retracted my hand.
Thankfully, I had enough self control to resist staring at my palm longer than needed. I sat back and looked into the shadows in front of us. My hand tingled, and it felt cold without her spark. I silently sighed. Reluctantly, as though in a trance, my eyes moved, seeking her out. I took a slow breath in.
Ahsoka Tano. I flipped the name over in my head a few times like a credit. It was a wonderful name. It suited her. The curve of her nose, the feather of eyelashes, and the velvet of skin. Ahsoka’s eyes were focused on the moon, the light reflecting in her pupils. I let a slow breath out. Just like that, the world paused. There was no chorus of bugs, and there was no breeze.
“The moons,” she broke me out of my stupor, “they’re very pretty.”
I blinked, and looked back up at the two moons I myself was staring at before. Slowly, I smiled, the first genuine one tonight.
“Yes, they are.” Memories flashed by, and I hummed. “When I was a kid, my father told me the story where the two moons are lovers.”
Looking back at her, seeing her passive expression glued to me, I shrugged. “It’s an old tale, not a lot of people really believe it, but it’s a good story to tell kids, I guess.”
She prompted, “Can you tell me it?”
There was a few seconds of silence as I stared into her expecting eyes, but then I turned to the moons, and nodded.
I began, “When this world was very young, there lived tribes of people with limited technology, a society even younger. Among these tribes, lived two beings. Ora, and Aeso. They were happy together, in love.” I whispered that word.
I continued. “Unfortunately, there lived a beast who dwelled in the dark and thinned the population of people and animals alike. All were frightened, especially at night, for in pitch dark, the beast emerged from its slumber and rampaged, destroying lives until the sun came up.”
“Something had to be done. Not knowing what to do, the people of old prayed, waiting for an answer from Uroona, the old word for the one true god. Eventually, Uroona appeared. She was regretful, because with all her power, she could not simply cease the beast out of existence. Uroona explained that it was up to the people to deal with their own problems. However, Uroona, taking pity, compromised. She told the people that if they could give up something of themselves, she would create a solution out of their sacrifice”
“The people, not sure how to interpret Uroona’s words, whispered at what they would give up. Ora stepped forward. She would sacrifice her life so the people could live in peace, she announced. Uroona was pleased, and the people wept with gratitude. Aeso, her lover, stepped beside her. They would not let Ora go alone, they would stay with her til the end of time, not even Uroona could part the two, Aeso declared. Uroona, surprised, agreed with this. She would make sure they never part.”
“And so, Uroona transformed the two into the moons. Forever to rotate around the world. Their reflection of the sun's light kept the beast banished for eternity. And as Uroona promised, the two lovers, Ora and Aeso, never left each other.”
There was a moment of quiet after I finished telling the tale.
Shrugging, I added, sounding lame, “They say it’s also why a lot of plants glow at night.”
Hearing Ahsoka move, I watched as she propped herself back up. She stretched her arms above her head, arching her back. I averted my gaze, glancing at the trees ahead of us, alight with shades between blue and pink.
“You tell a good story.” She complimented.
I looked back at her, she sat with perfect posture.
“It’s a good story, yes.”
“Not what I said.”
“I thought you said you liked it?” My brows furrowed.
“I do like it,” she reassured, “but my liking it is thanks to you telling it.”
I swallowed, and chastised myself for getting flustered over a simple compliment. It’s not like a Jedi would mean anything by it. One would think a Jedi would be very encouraging, right? I sorted through myths and rumours I had heard about Jedi before.
“Thank you.” I managed to sound somewhat normal.
Ahsoka smiled. And for a second, I was taken out of my head. I smiled back.
The rebels had meetings almost daily. By meeting, I mean a gathering so Eban can address us. Another way to boost morale and keep us feeling unified. This would be the second gathering with Ahsoka present. Yesterday was when she arrived, and Eban introduced her late in the afternoon. I wish I had paid more attention. It was embarrassing to have to ask her name last night. I wonder what else I had missed, zoned out. Instead of hanging out in the back of the crowd, I would have to make sure to get closer. There weren't too many of us, slipping my way in without attracting too many disgruntled looks was easy enough.
"Thank you, for arriving so early when the notice was so short." Eban cleared his throat.
He gave us a short and tempered speech about hope, and gratitude to the Jedi. I made sure to focus on everything he said this time, but I noticed the hesitant aura the crowd radiated. There was still anxiety about what we would do as our capital remained a battlezone. Maybe his reminders were repetitive, but I felt as though the fallen community needed them. I needed them, that's for sure, and Eban deserved all my respect for keeping us together.
I came to his group about five months ago. I had lost my home and parents a year ago, and until Eban, I didn’t have anything. It was just drifting, barely surviving without getting in trouble with the battle droids. It was a far cry being here in a community, a place to sleep and food to share.
"The Jedi and I have come to an agreement." He paused, nodding to Ahsoka on the left. She gave Eban a subtle nod.
I admired her with the pause. She stood formal, her arms crossed in a way only a jedi could constantly pull off. She had a presence that demanded respect. I wondered if that was something that came with the Jedi training, or something Ahsoka was good at naturally.
She stepped forward. "The council doesn't think it's necessary for your help to retake the capital." There was tension in the air. Ahsoka used her hands while speaking. "However, they don't think it's a bad idea to train those who are willing, to defend against a sudden separatist attack."
The crowd around me stirred.
"For defense." She stressed.
I felt the bodies around me moving, an eager buzz replacing the anxiety. Taking on the separatist army personally was something the community had urged Eban on since we were all first in hiding. The arrival of the Jedi and Republic Army only spurred that desire. Ahsoka presented this information seemingly hesitant, but she must have known the effect it would have on our morale. It wasn't the same as preparing for war, but it gave the people something to set our minds on. Something to work with. It gave us hope.
When I fired the shot, I was optimistic it would hit. When it missed, I was disappointed for the fourteenth time in a row.
I sighed, and dropped my shoulders. I was turning out to be the worst shot around. Gunslinging wasn't for me. The scavenged droid head swayed in the wind, it hung ten feet away. I frowned at it.
"Not working out for you?" I almost dropped the gun.
I looked to see Ahsoka.
She wasn't watching the group of us train when we first started, yet it was obvious I had missed every shot.
"It's fine, not everyone gets it right away."
Ahsoka and that Jedi patience would always surprise me. I was expecting her to mock or discourage me, not comfort.
I made a face. "Not everyone can get it."
Ahsoka sighed, but she didn't frown.
"Take aim again." She prompted, coming closer to stand beside me.
I huffed, but did as she said. My posture stiffened as I got into the correct stance. I narrowed my eyes, aligning my sight with the target.
She stayed quiet for a few seconds. Realizing she was studying me, my cheeks warmed.
My nervous thoughts were cut off when I felt a hand on my shoulder, and a tickle as she leaned in to me. I stiffened. I lost my focus on the droid in the distance. Her other hand went to my own holding the blaster. Ahsoka adjusted them, the calluses on her finger burning into every splotch of skin she touched. I swallowed, my throat tight.
"Relax a little bit." She assured, her mouth close to my ear.
There was a hitch in my breath, and I struggled to keep my eyes from darting around rapidly, panicked. I focused on regulating my breathing. Taking a moment to calm myself, I tried to release the right amount of tension. Blinking my eyes shut, I told myself to let go. After a moment, it felt comfortable. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye.
She nodded, and stepped back. The loss was apparent.
"Aim, focus, take a breath in, and fire." She gestured to the beheaded droid.
I gave a subtle nod. Focusing back on the target, the world between us went quiet. I breathed in, concentrated, then pulled the trigger.
It hit.
My head raised, my mouth agape before grinning at last. I looked to Ahsoka, she was smiling too, her hands on her hips.
"See? So you can get it."
She looked very proud, just for someone else's minor accomplishment.
I lazily shook my head.
"Only thanks to you." I rubbed the back of my neck.
Ahsoka waved her hand. "You only need confidence, everything else will come naturally then."
I quickly turned my head to stare at the droid, now a blaster mark scorching it's right eye. I looked back at her. Ahsoka crossed her arms. Her eyes were playful.
Tilting my head, I asked lightly, “How do I know you didn’t just use your Jedi tricks to make me feel better?”
She rolled her eyes. "Would you blame me if I did?"
“Honestly? Probably not.” Shrugging, I smiled sheepishly at her.
Ahsoka huffed. “I didn’t, that was all you, you should be proud.”
I shook my head. “It’s only one shot. It’s not that impressive.”
“You’re right, it’s not.” She said, blunt, a bit of humor lacing her voice.
I frowned at her. There was a pause, and I caught a corner of her lip turning up.
“Aren’t Jedi supposed to be…” I struggled to find the word, “Good at teaching?”
“I just helped you land your first shot.”
“Only to take my ego down right after.”
Ahsoka rolled her eyes at my dramatics. "I'm sure you'll get over it. But for now? Practice . Stop getting distracted."
My arms flayed, exasperated. "I'm not distracted!” Gesturing to her, I reminded, “You're helping me!"
Ahsoka spoke pointedly, her arms crossing on her chest, a brow raised. "You were distracted while I was helping you."
My mouth opened, then shut. I looked away.
There was a satisfied smirk on her face as she let out an exaggerated, "Mmhmm."
I refused to meet her eyes as my face burned red. It was embarrassing to be so obvious. I cursed internally.
A soft laugh escaped her chest. “Come on, more training.”
It was another night of moon gazing, driven out of my bed by the uncertainty of war. I was sitting on the edge of the ground in my usual spot.
“Can’t sleep again?”
I startled. My body jumped, turning to see Ahsoka making her way towards me. I immediately relaxed, my shoulders falling. A small smile made its way onto my face.
“Ahsoka, you scared me.” I greeted her.
“Sorry,” She returned my smile, looking cheeky. “It’s a Jedi thing.”
“It is also a Jedi thing to stalk innocent citizens?” I raised my brow at her.
It’s been another day of training with Ahsoka. Two nights ago, this scene played out for the first time. Tonight however, there was no tension. I never would have guessed I’d get along so well with a Jedi.
Ahsoka plopped down beside me. “We only stalk the not so innocent citizens.” Pausing for effect, she then added, “I’d say you qualify.”
“Me? I’m as innocent as, well,” My mind went blank, “Um...” I furrowed my brows in thought.
She laughed. “Right.”
I brought my leg up, propping my elbow so I could drop my head into my hand.
“Do you ever have trouble sleeping?” I asked lightly, genuinely curious.
She bobbed her head back and forth, as though weighing her thoughts out. “Sometimes, yes.”
“What do you do?”
Without turning my head, my eyes searched for hers. Ahsoka was already staring at me, but when our eyes met, she turned to look ahead.
“Usually?” She shrugged. “I eat. Meditate.”
An amused huff of air escaped me.
We sat in silence, comfortable enough with each other not to say anything. A cool breeze ruffled the grass. The sky was clear, and the temperature perfect.
Ahsoka posed a question, first saying my name. “what are you going to do after your planet is free?”
Earlier today, Eban and Ahsoka had announced we should be able to return to our homes soon. Something about a decisive move being made two days from now.
I thought about it for a minute. I put my legs back in front of me, sitting properly, my hands together on my lap.
“I don’t know exactly.” I admitted. “My parents are gone now… They didn’t… When the separatists first came, about a year ago… We lived in a small village out of the capital” She softened in understanding. My eyes went glassy, but I shrugged and moved on, casting my head down. “I guess I’ll go back and find our house, see it for the first time in a long while.” Giving a sad smile, I joked, “Well, if there’s anything left of it.”
A beat of silence.
I looked up to the moons. I wanted to say something before she did.
“I’ve always,” my voice cracked. I swallowed, then I restarted, “I’ve always wanted to travel. To see other planets. There isn’t anything here for me anymore, but out there…” I brought my tone up, trying to sound optimistic. “...You never know, right?” I shrugged, then rambled on. “Galaxy is a big place. But I guess, it wouldn't be safe travelling in the war…” I trailed off.
There was a few seconds of silence as I figured out what to say.
I brightened up, “You get to travel a lot, rig-”
Ahsoka laid a hand on my shoulder.
I looked at her, paused. In her gaze, I found the words I needed to hear.
‘It’s okay.’
I bit my tongue, and my eyes, filling with tears and shame, tore themselves away from her.
With my throat tight with emotion, I didn’t say anything. Ahsoka didn’t either.
It was alright. It was alright not to say anything, not to do anything. It was enough for her to see I was sad, even though I didn’t want to be. She knew that. Of course Ahsoka knew. Her fingers brushed against my shoulder.
After a few minutes of silence, I felt better. My eyes dried, despite only a few tears managing to escape, tears I rubbed away immediately out of embarrassment.
I don’t know if Ahsoka could have said anything to make me feel better, but I was grateful for her silence as I processed and expressed the emotions for the first time in awhile.
Sniffing, I looked at her. She stared, patient as usual.
“Thanks.” I whispered.
Ahsoka nodded.
We sat together in silence.
After a while, I heard Ahsoka say my name, and I looked to her, expectantly.
It was then I got to see a side of Ahsoka I didn’t expect her to have. She fidgeted with her hands, her head fallen down. She was nervous.
I tried sounding encouraging. “Yes?”
Her shoulders lifted, taking a breath, and then relaxed.
“You… you don’t know I’m leaving tomorrow, do you?” She lifted her eyes to mine.
A pause. The shock had me stiffen. I searched her face, for the hint of a joke.
My distress must have been obvious. Ahsoka forced a smile.
My mouth opened for words, not knowing what to say. “N-no, I… I didn’t-”
“Yea. Time sure flies, right?” She sighed, her eyes fogging over as she turned her head away.
Stupidly, I said, “Really?”
Ahsoka gave me one slow nod. Her eyes looking at the moons again.
“A Jedi’s work is never done. Especially not during a war…” She spoke slowly, weighing the words on her tongue, testing her footing.
I stared at her. Studying her face, from her eyes to her lips, but I couldn’t really hear what she was saying. Her persistence to reason made me wonder if she was trying to comfort herself instead of me.
Ahsoka sighed, and finally slump down again. I did too, pulling my legs in front so I could hug my knees, mimicking her position.
Breaking the silence, I sighed, “No good news tonight?” It was all I had to say to express my sorrow, for both my parents and her departure.
Her reply took a few seconds, as though she really was trying to find something positive to say.
“No. I guess.” She shrugged.
I looked at her, letting time wash over us as I fixated on her face markings. It was becoming my favourite pastime to follow the lines over her forehead.
Eventually, her eyes flickered to mine. I wondered how long Ahsoka knew I was staring at her. I wondered if she knew I was constantly staring at her. She must have.
Prompted by her gaze, I confessed, “You’re not really like other Jedi, Ahsoka.”
She blinked, an unsure smile forming, “What?”
I smiled awkwardly, realizing how it must sound. “I don’t mean it in a bad way. Really, I meant...”
I took a deep breath, a part of me almost drifting away, wanting to escape this situation. But most of me knew this was important, and I had to tell her. I resisted grinding my teeth and stiffening.
Ahsoka’s head returned to resting on her knees, staring forward. I sat back and let my legs stretch out in front of myself. I could at least look relaxed when I told her.
Continuing, my voice softened, “You hear stories about Jedi as a kid. Almost all of them were too difficult to believe, and since this war…” I thought of the hesitation you could trace in the locals. “...there have been so many crazy rumours about Jedi. People are afraid. And some of them, they think the Jedi can’t help us with anything.”
Ahsoka was silent.
I leaned forward to catch her gaze. I wanted to look her in the eyes as I said this. Her eyes caught mine and I swallowed.
“Ahsoka,” I started, her name feeling heavy on lips, “you’re more than those legends. You’ve done nothing but surprise me, and everyone here too.” I poured as much earnesty as I could into the words I was saying. “You’re leaving us inspired, with belief in tomorrow and the galaxy.”
I breathed in and out, calming myself. I was tense, it took a lot of courage just to say a few simple words. Despite the anxiety it gave me, I wanted to soothe her, to try.
She stared at me, her mouth parted. That look of surprise, and of relief, it was worth it. No matter what voice in my head told me it was embarrassing, it was worth it.
She leaned towards my face. “And… you?” She whispered it. Hesitantly, quietly, as though she was afraid of her own words.
We stared at each other. My chest pounded.
Without realizing, I had risked a glance at her lips. My eyes locked back with hers, hoping she didn’t catch my peek. I noticed her throat tighten as she swallowed. When did we get so close? I was almost falling into her eyes.
“You, inspired me too…” I whispered like an idiot, trying to keep my tone steady.
Her expression shifted. Bemused, exasperated, charmed, something subtle between those. I blushed.
Voice as quiet as mine, she said, “That isn’t what I meant.”
Her eyelashes fluttered against her orange cheek. I gulped, knowingly.
I quirked my lip. There was bravery in me I had never recognized before.
“No?”
Ahsoka’s eyes bore into me, instead of scaring me away, they drew me in.
“Is that all?”
There was a challenge in those words, even with the soft tone she said it in.
My eyes had closed. I felt our noses brush.
The world had faded away by now. There was no war, no Jedi, no moons. It was just her. We were so close. So close to touching. I could feel my heart beating in my chest. Powerful and constant. Ahsoka’s breath soothed my ears, tickling against my face. Somehow, our hands had found each other, and just barely, I felt her pulse through her palm. It matched my own. Her callouses burned into me, igniting in me a warmth I didn’t fully understand. The heat of our bodies simmered against each other, and I controlled the instinct to fall closer to her.
“No, that’s not all.”
And we kissed.
Gentle, quiet. Just brushing, just barely.
We parted, only to lean in again.
We wanted to explore what we could do, both obviously new to this.
I hummed, and we parted again, resting our foreheads against each other.
The kiss was unpracticed, yet there wasn’t any awkwardness in the air. Somehow, I just knew that Ahsoka hadn’t kissed anyone before. And she probably assumed I hadn’t either. Not a good first kiss, probably, but ours.
My eyes flickered up, I met her gaze. I smiled, stupidly, and Ahsoka gave me a nervous smile back. In her eyes, I saw sadness.
“Ahsoka…” I whispered, tightening my grip on her hand. My other gripped the grass. She squeezed in returned, whispering my name in reply. My heart fainted.
I wanted to stay like this. Ahsoka did too, I knew.
“I’m leaving tomorrow.” She repeated, distantly. I wasn’t sure if it was a reminder to me or to herself.
“I know.”
Ahsoka dropped her head onto my shoulder. Her montrals pushed into my neck and chin, but I didn’t mind. I hugged her, my hands around her neck, stroking her back lek. She stiffened, and I stopped.
Instantly, she relaxed. “Sorry, they’re very sensitive.”
I nodded, my head gently butting the top of her montrals.
“Right.”
Cautiously, she lifted her arms around my torso. Her fingers grabbed into my shirt, unsure. I hummed, and went back to petting her, putting extra thought into how gently I rubbed.
Ahsoka and I stayed like that, lost in each other's heartbeats, with no one to be our witness but the two moons.