Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Kageyama we did it!" exclaimed Hinata all excited and joyful with a warm bright smile. 

"Yeah, we did it," Kageyama said with a smirk on his face, not as joyful as Hinata since it was his creepy smile and it made Hinata shiver. 

They had just graduated. Everyone was all excited with great smiles on their faces, Yachi laughing with her friends, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima walking away with their diploma in their hands smiling at each other like it was their first time meeting. Hinata went over to Kōji and Yukitaka they congratulated each other with tears in their eyes saying "goodbye" and "good luck in the future" as their little joke. Hinata saw in the corner of his eye, Kageyama walking over to a girl he has never really seen around but he didn't pay much attention to it until he saw them hug each other. "They must be really close" Thought Hinata which made him question it since he knew Kageyama was never really good at making friends, a family member perhaps? Doesn't matter. Hinata was closer with Kageyama...right?

  A few moments passed here and there with friends and family members leaving together or even going on their own separate ways. Hinata walked over to Kageyama seeing him alone as if he was waiting for him. 

"Are you ready?" Kageyama said with a serious but soft expression on his face. 

"Awe were you waiting for me Kageyama?" 

"Can you be any more annoying?" 

"Hey, since I'm senior how about I buy you milk? I have spare change!" Hinata sounded so cool saying that. Even though he had to look up a bit to look at Kageyama he was confident in himself. 

"Sure" 

They both started walking towards the closest vending machine, mostly the one that Kageyama goes over to. As Hinata puts in his spare change into the machine he could feel Kageyama was staring at him intensely it made his heart start beating fast. 

"W-What are you staring at!?" Hinata said with red cheeks. 

"I'm waiting for my milk, I don't have all day hurry it up dumbass" 

"I'm going, jeez hold your volleyballs" Hinata pressed on the white milk button and they hear a "thump" sound coming from the machine. Hinata reaches down to grab the milk then joyfully hands it to Kageyama.

"Aha! Here you go, your milk as I promised"

"You never promised you just said you would buy me milk" Kageyama snatches the milk out of Hinata's hand and starts drinking it as if it was his last thing he would ever drink. 

"You didn't need to snatch it out of my hands it's not like I was going to drink it" They both started walking again to the directions of their homes. 

"Ah, Kageyama before we go our own separate ways can I take a picture with you?"

"Huh? A picture? What for?"

"Just a picture for graduating since like you know we did just graduated. I already took pictures with Yachi, Yamaguchi, and even Tsukishima" 

"Fine whatever"

As Hinata got closer to Kageyama he could feel the warmth coming from him, and even how he smelled. Kageyama didn't smell bad at all he smelled like when it stops raining and you go outside and it just smells fresh, a beautiful smell Hinata could say. Hinata took his phone out and turned on his camera he saw only him and Kageyama in the frame, and again his heart started beating quickly. He took the photo and smiled at it for a while. 

"Thank you, Kageyama"

"Yeah, sure" 

"Well we should go now, I'll see you around right? We can hang out once in a while?"

"Sure thing tangerine" 

They both smiled at each other and went on their separate ways. 

As the night was gazing with beautiful stars, some big and small, and others were shining brighter than the others, Hinata had just got home and decided to go to bed since he was tired of having so much fun with the people he treasured and called friends, he took out his phone to look at the pictures he has taken during the day before finally going to bed and calling it a night. He was smiling the whole time while looking at the pictures, he has taken so many pictures with many different people that he treasured and has called friends. He probably took 20 or even more, he was swiping through every picture and smiling at each one with much love he even had a few laughs here but quietly since his mom and sister were already sleeping. He got to the last few pictures and those were with Kageyama, his heart started beating rapidly and he could feel a heartwarming smile start forming on his face, "Huh...my heart started beating rapidly again while thinking about him" thought Hinata. He kept looking at his phone and smiling at it like an idiot, he finally turned his phone off and tried to go to sleep. He kept trying to fall asleep but he couldn't since his mind and heart kept thinking about Kageyama. 

  He felt like his heart was going to explode inside of him. He was thinking about how Kageyama was such a great setter, a great best friend, and a great rival. Hinata never felt this way to anyone other than playing volleyball and playing against other teams. Hinata was trying to figure his feelings for Kageyama and why was he praising him so much. Then suddenly he realized..how could he be so blind? He finally realized that he was falling in love with Kageyama, he always has but he just now realized since he had so much time and evidence to realize his feelings for him. He could feel his cheeks starting to get warm. Hinata Shouyou was falling in love with Tobio Kageyama. 

~Next Morning~

Hinata woke up but still felt tired, he doesn't remember how long he stayed awake he probably just went to sleep without knowing it when suddenly everything he was thinking and feeling last night came back to him and he felt so warm inside as if the sun was shining brightly down at him. 

~Kageyama / Hey. Do you want to grab some drinks with me in 15 minutes? We need to talk, I'll send you the address.

As Hinata read the text his heart was beating rapidly. He was so happy that Kageyama texted him first. What did he want to talk about? Did something happen? Does he not want to see me anymore? so many thoughts were crossing through his head but he tried not to worry and instead of getting out of bed and getting ready to meet Kageyama. He was excited to see him it felt like he hasn't seen him in a long time when in reality he saw him last night before parting ways to go home. 

Hinata was ready to go, he went to his front door, opened it and he left going to the place Kageyama sent him to. 

He was almost there until he saw black hair through a window. He couldn't quite figure out if it was actually Kageyama since there are many people with black hair and he didn't want to assume. He tried to get a better view and saw Kageyama look up to see Hinata they both staring at each other until Kageyama singled him to come inside, which Hinata nodded and went inside without hesitation. 

As soon as he went inside he saw Kageyama sitting down looking down at his phone. Heart beating rapidly like never before, Hinata was sure of his feelings now for him since his heart always beating rapidly and fluttering just thinking of getting a text from Kageyama. These feelings meant a lot to Hinata and he was confident that he truly had feelings for Kageyama, always smiling, and always joyful with him just made him happy. 

"Hey! Kageyama!" Hinata walking over to Kageyma giving him a pat on his back and sitting in front of him. 

"Yo. What took you long?"

"Ah sorry I kinda got lost but I didn't take long" 

"Dumbass of course you would get lost since it's you it's no surprise to that" 

"Gee thanks. So what did you want to talk about?"

"Wait a while she's almost here"

"She?" Hinata questioned what he meant. Someone else coming? Then he heard a girlish kind voice saying "Kageyama". He turned to see who was calling out to Kageyama and saw a girl. She was the girl Hinata saw when Kageyama was embracing for a hug at the graduation ceremony. 

"Y/n, you made it," Kageyama said with a smile on his face. 

"Yeah, thank you for inviting me!" She said with a smile. 

Hinata turned to look at Kageyama but saw him having his full attention to the girl. His smile was not creepy as it usually is, it changed. His smile was real and it seemed like he was putting his whole heart into that one smile just for her. She sat down next to Kageyama. 

"Y/n this is Hinata my friend who I've played volleyball with since the first year, Hinata this is Y/n my girlfriend" Kageyama sounded so happy saying that she was his girlfriend, with such a big smile.

"Hi Hinata, he's told me so much about you, and it's finally nice to see you in person" Her voice was soothing, her smile towards Hinata was very kindly. 

"Hello y/n it's nice to meet you as well," Hinata said with a smile. She smiled back again and Kageyama was looking at her with such kind eyes that Hinata never saw this was his first time seeing those eyes for someone. 

"So Kageyama, when did you and y/n started dating?

"It was a few months back, around 3 months if I remember correctly" 

"Yes 3 months back that we started dating" They sounded so happy saying that. Hinata could feel that his heart was aching a bit, he saw y/n and Kageyama holding hands they were happy with each other. For once Hinata saw something else making Kageyama smile other than volleyball. He was in love with her. 

Hinata's vision started to get blurry, his heart aching, he could feel as if someone stuck a knife right through his heart, but he saw Kageyama laughing and smiling with her, and as much as it was hurting Hinata he knew he should be happy because that's what friends are supposed to do.

"Hey guys I think I'm going to leave early my stomach hurts and I need some rest" 

"Oh. Well it was nice meeting you Hinata, I hope we can be friends"

"Me too, let's be good friends y/n!" 

"Of course you still got stomach problems"

"Heh sorry, Kageyama you know it's a habit" As Hinata said that Kageyama smiled and he couldn't help but smile back. 

"Bye y/n, bye Kageyama" They both nodded and Hinata started walking to the door but before he went outside he turned to look back at them and when he did he wished he hadn't since they were both cuddling and laughing with each other, he shouldn't be sad he should be happy for them since they found each other to share love and affection. Hinata smiled sadly before turning the doorknob to exit.

It was still early in the morning but he didn't know what to do and he hoped to spend the day with Kageyama but he's too busy right now. With nothing to do, he decided to go with his other option, to go home since really that was his only option.

As soon as he got home he went to his room, he was lying down on his bed remembering everything he witnessed today he didn't want to but the urge to remember everything was strong and so he did. He closed his eyes and was seeing everything again and it hurting him so much that the next thing he knew he was crying, he was quiet about it since he didn't want his mom or Natsu to hear him crying. He sat on his bed, took out his phone, and decided to look at his photos with Kageyama, nor was a lot of pictures to look at since he didn't take many with Kageyama he could feel his heartbeat rapidly but aching at the same time, smiling but shedding tears, happy but heartbroken at the same time he couldn't help but cry. He then started coughing he thought with all the tears he was shedding that he was coughing because he choked on his tears, but that wasn't it since he was coughing out flower petals. "Flower petals?" was his last thought until his head hit the pillow and went to sleep. So early in the morning as well. 

As it was the next morning, Hinata woke up refreshed but could feel that his eyes shedding many tears. He knew it was the next morning since today was brighter than yesterday and the warmth of the sun was hitting his face. As he was laying down staring at the wall he remembered every pain and tear, Kageyama's girlfriend. She was beautiful, kind, and she looked like she really did love Kageyama, Hinata was happy for them but couldn't help but feel pain in his heart as he knew he was going to lose Kageyama little by little. 

As soon as Hinata was getting out of bed he looked down at the floor and noticed there were flower petals specifically daisy's and there was blood on the ground. Hinata now remembered that last morning he was coughing flower petals so then he looked up "Why am I coughing up flowers?" he then clicked on a website that had the title he searched up. 

"When one develops this fictitious disease called Hanahaki, a lot of things can happen. It is reported that people who suffer from this disease cough up flower petals. Now the factor responsible for this sickness is unrequited love. It simply means loving someone and not getting loved in return". 

Hinata has the Hanahaki Disease when he read that he could feel his heart stop beating for a quick second. He tightens his phone and placed his hand on his heart. He was hurting and he didn't know what to do because he had a disease that makes him cough up flowers and blood and it's all for him. Now he knew his feelings were getting stronger because he had a disease of one-sided love and he had to accept the fact that Kageyama probably would never love him as much as he loves y/n. That's okay because Hinata knew that with him coughing up flowers meant so much to him even though he could stop breathing. After all, all the flowers were filling up in his lungs. He decided to do more research about the Hanahaki disease, maybe there was a cure for him to stop coughing up flowers and blood since he didn't want his feelings to get caught. 

"Hanahaki disease is a disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. Hanahaki can be cured through surgical removal of the plants' roots, but this excision also has the effect of removing the patient's capacity for romantic love. It may also erase the patient's feelings for and memories of the enamored. It can also be cured by the reciprocation of the victim's feelings. There is no set time for how long this disease lasts but it may last from 2 weeks to 3 months until the victim dies unless the feelings are returned or the plants are surgically removed". 

With everything he read he knew this was serious. He knew that he only had to opt to keep on living in which are either getting surgery but never loving Kageyama and probably losing all memories about him or either Kageyama returning his feelings romanticly. Kageyama couldn't return his feelings because he saw how happy he was with y/n and how much he loves her so that's out..but he didn't want to get surgery. After all, he wants to remember everything he has gone through with Kageyama all the laughter, defeats, winnings, arguments, all the little things he has done with Kageyama he wants to remember it all and not lose one bit of it because that's what made then close and making Hinata fall for him. No matter how much it hurts he knew that he had to live through the pain Kageyama was causing him but he okay with it because loving him was all worth it. He knew that he was going to die and there was no other cure he could take without losing his feelings and memories. "Enough with the sad talk I should go to the park and practice by myself" Hinata decided to put a mask on before leaving just in case he would start coughing out of nowhere. 

He was heading to the park and everything was going great. He could feel the sun kiss his skin and it was nice out it wasn't too hot it was just the perfect weather to practice volleyball and try to get rid of some thoughts. He was paying more attention to his surroundings more than ever, is it because he knew he was going to die within 2 weeks or to 3 months? Maybe. He saw kids running around and he could hear the laughter it sounded very close and he could see the park not too far away. While still walking to get to his destination he noticed an old couple sitting on a bench holding hands and living their lives like a breeze because they knew they already lived their lives together and it was all worth it and now they're going to die together. Hinata smiled at the glance of the old couple and he wished them his best and to be happy, Hinata was the park and started practicing by himself and he could hear the volleyball hitting his arms every time the ball went up to the hair for a few seconds and then going down to hit his arms and kept doing that because he's always done that ever since the first year. He missed the ball when the ball went up the air and it rolled away from Hinata and rolled to someone else's foot. That person picked it up and Hinata walked over to get the ball back. 

"So your practicing I see" 

"Oh! Kageyama! What are you doing here?"

"Just went for a run until I saw a familiar orange-haired color in the distance and thought it was you and I was right"

"Yeah I guess you were right, you didn't hang out with y/n today?"

"I am but later in the afternoon, I'm taking her to a restaurant"

"Sounds fun. Anyways, do you want to practice with me a little? We haven't done that in a while"

"No thanks I want to finish my run and go take a shower to buy y/n flowers" 

"Okay no worries hopefully next time"

"I'm not sure Hinata. Maybe but I'm gonna go now"

"Bye" As Hinata was going to turn around to go practice Kageyama started speaking again. 

"By the way, are you sick? Why are you wearing a mask?"

"Yeah I'm sick but it will stop soon"

"Okay, see ya" Kageyama started running again as Hinata was looking at his back and deciding to go back to practice. He knew he was losing Kageyama because now he doesn't want to practice volleyball anymore ever since he started dating y/n. Kageyama didn't look worried about Hinata when he was wearing a mask. He didn't ask him questions as Hinata thought but it's okay because Hinata still loves him and his love won't stop growing, he feels like his feelings grow more every time he sees Kageyama or even thinks about him. He then started coughing and this time it was lasting longer than last time, he hurried to somewhere far where no one can see and he took off his mask and flowers started coming out he now could feel his lungs getting filled up by them. He saw how beautiful they were but he couldn't breathe and it hurts him seeing that he is dying from the Hanahaki disease a disease he thought he could never get but he did because he loved Kageyama too much and he was okay with it because he knew his feelings were true and he would die knowing his feeling was true. He decided to go back and practice a bit more before going back home since he knew he can't stay around too many people with his disease. 

Hinata started walking back home and he noticed that the sky seemed darker than when he first decided to practice so then he checked his phone for the time and it was past 3 in the afternoon. He must've fallen asleep when practicing because he can remember getting tired and sitting down on the bench enjoying his surroundings and that was probably the time he had fallen asleep. His condition has gotten worse than before and it's only been about 3 days since he found out about his condition. He noticed the little things about him whenever he passed a mirror, he noticed how dark circles had started forming under his eyes, he's gotten thinner, and he's been losing motivation even if it's the little things in his life. Even though he was playing volleyball he was using his strength to at least play one last time. Coughing flowers and blood has been a regular thing for Hinata and he wasn't surprised whenever it happened because he would always think about Kageyama. Even at times when he tried his hardest not to think about him no matter the situation he could still cough, he's been losing a lot of blood lately that he had to go to the hospital to see if there's anything they can do but they couldn't and he understood. While walking back he decided to ignore Kageyama because thinking keeping Kageyama away would make his death easier. After all, he couldn't be able to see Kageyama devastated or get depressed and he decided not to tell him about the disease. 

The more steps Hinata takes the more steps he's closer to home. A home where he can sleep and do everything normal like he once did and being able to see his family a few more times before it got worse. His garbage can in his room would always be filled with tissues that had blood in them and it would also have flower petals. When his mom took out his garbage for him once she asked why there are so many blood tissues and flower petals. The answer Hinata gave his mom was "Sorry about that I was using those for a project for volleyball and Yachi is helping me" What a terrible lie, he hasn't spoken to Yachi ever since the graduation but he had to keep his secret from his family as long as possible and that was the last time Hinata would let his mom take out the garbage for him. 

A few more days passed and Hinata was dying, he knew that he will not last more than 3 weeks and a week has already passed. He has been dodging Kageyama even his calls and messages but he knew he was doing it for his best. Y/n and Kageyama were still dating and happy with each other also none of them has seen Hinata. During the days Hinata decided to tell his family about his condition and they were devastated because they were going to lose someone they love. 

"Hey mom I'm going for a walk so I'll be back later" 

"Are you sure? You should stay home Hinata and take care of yourself" 

"Mom, I'll be okay" 

Hinata's mom nodded slowly and sadly, Hinata noticed that his mother has been very worried for him and Natsu was also worried they both didn't want to lose a son or brother. 

As a distraction, Hinata would take walks to think about his future with Kageyama, since there was no helping it he couldn't see or hear Kageyama anymore he would still think about him regularly. 

"Hinata!" That voice sounded familiar and as Hinata was turning to see who was calling out for him he noticed it was Suga. They haven't seen each other much ever since they left after graduating, a sad time for everyone in the Karasuno team. 

"Suga it's nice to see you"

"Same here, how are you?"

"I've been doing okay, how's the whole teacher thing going for you?"

"Well I'm seeing what I can do to become one, college could be an option for me" 

"Sounds boring"

"Yeah but worth it...Oh! We should get coffee together and catch up?"

"Sure" They started walking down to get coffee and saw the nearest shop and decided to get seats inside. 

"How's Kageyama"

"He's doing great with his girlfriend"

"Girlfriend? Wow. What's her name?"

"Y/n"

"How is she?" Hinata knew that talking about her would tear him down but there's nothing he can do. All for Kageyama.

"She's very pretty, very nice and she seems like she really cares about Kageyama"

"She sounds perfect," Suga said with a smile which made Hinata missed seeing his smile since he graduated before Hinata. 

"Ah, hold on Hinata I'm going to get us our drinks, and don't worry I'll pay"

"Thank you" As Suga started walking away Hinata could feel blood dripping from the side of his mouth. Flowers were coming out as soon as he started coughing and he tried to clean himself up before Suga could come any sooner. 

"Alright I'm back here you go"

"Thank you" 

"Hinata...Why is there blood on your mask?"

"Blood? Oh it's because I accidentally bit my lip"

"That's a lot of blood for a small bite on your lip" Hinata wasn't great at lying, he was the worst at it, he could never get anyone to believe him whenever he was lying.

"Suga, I'm dying" Hinata knew that he could trust Suga with secrets and he wanted him to know first before anyone else.

"What? How? Why?"

"Have you heard of the Hanahaki disease?"

"I heard stories about it but I never thought much about it because I didn't think it would exist" 

"Me too but I have it" As soon as those words left Hinata's mouth, Suga could feel his heartache since he knew for Hinata for long he couldn't imagine one of his friends die from a disease thinking it wasn't real. 

"Suga? Please I need you to tell everyone except Kageyma"

"What? Everyone needs to know and everyone includes Kageyma"

"Please Suga I'll explain everything"

"Are you in love-" Hinata started coughing and couldn't stop it was like he was trying his hardest holding in his coughs but that might've caused major things to his lungs. There was so much blood and flower petals everywhere, he took off his mask but he was still coughing uncontrollably. Hinata could taste the blood, he could feel his lungs getting full of flowers each time he would cough, he could feel the flower petals coming out his mouth. People around Suga and Hinata started to panic and that started to attract more people to look over their way. 

"Someone call 911 please he's going to die!" Suga yelled to anyone who had their phone out. Hinata could feel that he was going to pass out since coughing out so much blood and not getting any blood transplants. The last thing Hinata could remember was hearing the sirens and feeling Suga embracing him to a tight hug as if Suga was telling Hinata to hold on, please don't go, not right now. 

Hinata was waking up and he felt comfortable as if he was lying down on a bed. He started opening his eyes and getting clear vision and noticed he was at the hospital, he could smell the hospital and it scared him because he wasn't a fan of hospitals but he did have a room with his bed near the window and it gives him a beautiful clear view of the sky and the buildings. He heard a knock on the door. 

"Come in" 

"Hinata...I'm glad knowing that you are still here with us" It was Suga and he seemed relieved seeing Hinata alive even though he looked close to death he knew with the monitor checking his pulse and his heart still beating he knew Hinata was still alive. 

"Suga what am I doing here?" 

"You were coughing too much blood and flower petals so you passed out I'm guessing" Suga started walking over to Hinata and hugged him, he knew Hinata was going to die soon but he wanted all the time he could get with him. 

"Thank you, Suga for saving me"

"I didn't save you I just delayed your death and if you're going to die I want it at a hospital with you seeing a beautiful view"

"Thanks for caring" Hinata nodded feeling joyed that Suga did so much for him in a little time when they just met up not long ago. 

"I also told everyone about you and what's going on"

"Everyone? even Kageyama?"

"Not Kageyama, I'm going to let you tell him yourself"

"That's the thing Suga I don't want to tell him because I don't want him to see me like this"

"He has to know Hinata, you guys are like best friends from my point of view" Hinata wanted to be more than just best friends with Kageyama. More than best friends was a wish Hinata could have, a wish where y/n wasn't with Kageyama. Hinata started to feel selfish about his wishes but at this point, it didn't matter because he was soon going to leave this world and leave everyone behind, even his loved one Kageyama. 

"I'll stay here with you until nightfall so you won't stay alone"

"Thank you for doing all this Suga, maybe I was meant to see you today so I can live a little longer"

"Well, I'm glad we found each other because you need to live a little longer" They both smiled and it felt great to have a close friend around to keep company until death.

"By the way, you've been asleep for 2 days Hinata"

"I'm sorry-What? 2 days?"

"The doctors think that you haven't been sleeping much and besides you lost to much blood, which explains the dark under eyes" 

"They're that bad?"

"Pretty much" Hinata smiled in defeat knowing that he couldn't really hide anything when it came to himself, he tried makeup borrowing it from his mom to cover up his under eyes and to make him look refreshed but since he never used makeup he didn't really do a good job hiding it. 

"While you were out the team came over to check up on you even Tsukishima believe or not"

"Wow even tsukki, ha." Hinata could feel how weak he was and his strength was slowly giving up. He liked the way Suga said 'Team' because they were still a team whether they were on the court playing volleyball or outside doing regular stuff that wouldn't really involve volleyball. He did see that by him were flowers and notes from the team and even his mom and Natsu, they all wanted him to get better. Suga could see how much the letters meant to him and he saw him smiling at each one he would read and smell the flowers with much love. The thing is he didn't know how long that smile would last here on earth.

"The doctor said there was no cure. You have less than 5 days to live Hinata, but that can change if you take the surgery"

"Huh. So you looked into it?"

"The doctor said there was no cure but I knew there had to be a cure so I looked into it" Hinata smiled at Suga and just looked away to look at the window seeing how lucky he was to see a beautiful view of almost everything. 

"Hinata you need to live until your old! Take the surgery, please everyone else agreed that you should take the surgery I even went far to talk about it with Kenma and Bokuto and they agree as well"

There still was no response from Hinata, it was silent and the only noises were from the other hospital rooms, crying, laughter, machines beeping, and running footsteps of doctors and nurses trying to save a life. 

"Suga have you read into it further if I do take the surgery?"

"No, once I read surgery was another cure I stopped and called everyone"

"If I take the surgery my memories and feelings for Kageyama would go away and probably the possibility to ever love someone again" Hinata was still staring at the window trying to hold back the tears but they were overflowing his eyes, Suga didn't know what to say at this point.

"Do you love Kageyma that much?"

Hinata's heart starting pounding by someone mentioning him loving Kageyma and that's what made Hinata finally turn to see Suga with tears rolling down to his cheeks. 

"More than anything and that's why I don't want to lose anything about him because I love him and I will die with these feelings rather than living and forgetting everything"

"I see. Hinata I'm going to come every day to visit you okay?"

"Thank you, Suga" 

"I'll be leaving now, it's getting late and you need plenty of rest"

"Bye Suga" 

As Suga was leaving Hinata's room he stepped far away from Hinata's room and took out his phone. He knew what he was going to do was something Hinata told him not to do but he also knew it was the right thing and making them see each other was something Hinata would love even if he didn't want to admit it. 

"Suga?"

"Kageyama, I need to tell you something important and I need you to do something". 

Chapter Text

A new day has awoken and the timer starts now for Hinata which every second count because soon and no one knows when Hinata will say "Goodbye" to this world. Yesterday, when Suga left Hinata, started coughing blood and flower petals he could feel like if thorns and branches were growing inside him, the pain he was feeling was the pain someone should never feel. Then there was a knock at the door. 

"Hinata your breakfast is here, may I come in?" It was a nurse that would always check up on Hinata whenever it was necessary. 

There was no response coming from Hinata, As the nurse came in she could see the blood all over Hinata's gown and the blankets and seeing Hinata's mouth full of flower petals. The nurse quickly put down the breakfast and came over to Hinata.

"Oh my gosh, Hinata hold on!" Hinata stopped coughing, that was the longest cough Hinata had maybe because dying makes it seem it lasts longer than ever before. 

"Th-Thank you but I'm fine it happens v-very often to the point where I can't hide it anymore" All the stuttering made it hard for him to explain but seeing the Nurse's smile made Hinata safe, she understood everything since the doctors and nurses knew what was going on with him she knew how hard it must've been for Hinata keeping the secret for a while and hiding his feelings while the petals were coming out as a sign for his feelings. 

"Your food will be right here if you feel hungry, do you want me to open the window it's warm today"

"Yes please that would be nice"

As the nurse walked over to open the window there was a warm breeze coming in the room, many noises as well that you could hear cars passing by, kids and other people laughing, and the birds chirping. This made Hinata smile, it made me feel like everything was back to normal and everything would be okay from now on. The nurse was starting to walk to the door to leave Hinata's room. 

"Excuse me but from now on until I'm gone can we leave the window open? Please? I like hearing everything coming outside since I really can't go out anymore"

"Of course, click the button beside you if you need anything else" She left with a smile on her face.

Hinata looked at the food beside him but he didn't feel hungry. He has gotten thinner than before, he could feel his bones and he looked more tired than ever even if there wasn't a mirror in his room he could tell he looked terrible. He then heard a knock on the door and he wondered who it could be but then remembered that Suga said he would come every day to check up on him and leave before it gets dark so it must be Suga. Hinata smiled hearing a knock on the door knowing Suga was going to appear. 

"Come in" As the door slowly creaked open he saw familiar black hair, knowing Suga doesn't have black hair he knew it was Kageyama and when he saw Kageyma there in the doorway his eyes widen seeing Kageyama after awhile from not seeing each other. He could feel his eyes start to water but brushed them away quickly hoping Kageyama didn't notice. It was just them two looking at each other and none of them had said anything yet, Hinata seemed scared since Kageyama looked mad. 

"Kageyama what are you doing here?" Hinata was waiting for a response but Kageyama didn't say anything just looking at him seeing how hopeless he was and how close he was to die. He closed the door behind him and started walking to Hinata. 

"Y-yes? There's a chair beside you if you want to sit down?" 

"What is wrong with you?" Kageyama's voice sounded like he was in pain as if he wanted to cry. Hinata didn't know what to do at this point. 

"Kageyama It's okay"

"How is it okay if you're dying and it's because of me" Hinata's heart was beating rapidly, how did he know? Did Suga tell him everything?

"If you're wondering how I know everything Suga called me last night and told me everything that I needed to know"

"Everything?"

"Yes," Hinata felt hopeless now since Kageyama knew everything.

"When are you going to take the Surgery?" Hinata looked Kageyama in the eyes and shook his head, Suga probably did tell him everything but he probably left out the symptoms if he did take the surgery for Hinata to tell him himself. 

"What do you mean no Hinata? That's the only thing that can cure you of what's happening" 

"Kageyama you don't under-" Hinata started coughing blood and flower petals and he got used to them but now that Kageyama was standing in front of him and seeing everything that's going on he felt pressured and was praying for it to stop.

When it did stop Hinata took out some tissues and cleaned himself up but the blood had already stained his gown, he didn't want to look at Kageyama so he looked out the window making him breathe slowly for air. 

"So this is the Hanahaki Disease that Suga mentioned...everything that he said was true after all the blood, and the flower petals" Hinata didn't want to look at him but he could hear Kageyama sit down in the chair beside him. 

"You d-don't understand Kageyama if I take the surgery my feelings for you and p-probably my memories about you will go away and I don't want that" 

"Your feelings and memories will be gone? Suga didn't say anything about that" 

"He probably wanted me to tell you myself" Hinata looked at Kageyama and saw that Kageyama was already looking at Hinata even when he was looking away, this made his heart flutter. 

"Hinata I have feelings for you" Hinata widened his eyes, his heart feeling like it was going to explode even if what he said was a lie he liked what he was hearing and it made him happy but he wasn't sure if his feelings were true towards Hinata. 

"I still feel sick Kageyama, I don't think it worked" 

"No, I really do have feelings for you like romantically" 

"I don't feel it, I'm sorry" 

"But I do..."

"W-what about Y/n?"

"I broke up with her"

"Huh? Why? You seemed really happy with her and her with you"

Yesterday A Few Hours Before Suga Calling Kageyama

"Hey Y/n, thanks for meeting me" 

"Of course!"

"I feel like I'm falling out of love, but at the same time, I still like you" Y/n was quiet and Kageyama didn't know what to say or do but he knew he felt terrible. Was she going to cry? Was she going to slap him? Even if she does cry he wouldn't know what to do because he wasn't good at those things. Then she started laughing but not in a maniac way, in a soft cute way.  

"Kageyama, actually I wanted to talk to you about this today as well when you asked to meet up"

"You're not mad?"

"No! Don't be silly I could tell since our before our 3 months"

"What! Why didn't you say anything?"

"I wasn't sure! I didn't know if you were just like that or if you really were falling out of those feelings" 

"But I still like you" Y/n smiled at Kageyama seeing how he wasn't the smartest about his feelings and probably confused about how he was feeling.

"Kageyama do you love Hinata?"

"Love? I don't know"

"I see the way you look at him, when I first met him and saw you, you were looking at him with much passion"

"Really?"

"1st year when I went to see the games I would always notice how you would look at him and him at you and I promise you that he loves you more than I could ever love you" Y/n was having such a big smile explaining everything to Kageyama and how she could tell he loved Hinata and how much Hinata loves him.

"I swear I did have feelings for you and I still do" Y/n shakes her head no. 

"And I did too but maybe your feelings came back after not being around him for long so your feelings for me were truly real when we were together"

Kageyama kinda understood what she meant. He was happy that she understood. 

"Kageyama, you should see him, and let's stay friends okay?"

"Yeah. Friends." They both smiled and hugged each other one last time and went their own separate ways and now Kageyama needed to plan how he was going to see Hinata since it's been a while since they both spoke and seen each other. While walking back home Kageyama could feel his phone vibrate in his back pocket. 

"Suga?"

"Kageyama, I need to tell you something important and I need you to do something". 

"And that's all"

"Oh wow Kageyama I'm surprised she didn't call you names or slap you"

"Hey!" Hinata started laughing but then he started coughing again and Kageyama stood up and helped Hinata clean up.

"I'm o-okay don't worry" 

"Hinata, it didn't work"

"Your heart probably doesn't remember having feelings for me, but that head of yours does" Hinata saw Kageyama sit back down and bit his lip, seeing Kageyama look like that hurt Hinata.

"It's f-fine Kageyama"

"I know you probably only have 5 days left and I promise that in those 5 days I'll come every day to spend time with you"

"Kageyama.." Hinata could feel his eyes water but he didn't want to hold them back anymore, he cried and Kageyama smiled and took Hinata's hand and gently kissed it. 

"I will have my heart remember you under 5 days, I know I can do it and then I'll save you from this disease" Hinata smiled with tears in his eyes and he felt so happy and he finally had time with Kageyama, his feelings for Kageyama were overflowing with how much he loved him before. Hinata wasn't thinking about death any more or anything else he was just happy that Kageyama was there with him, holding his hand, and when he kissed Hinata's hand he could feel the warm breath of Kageyama.

"What do you want to d-do Kageyama?"

"Let's watch volleyball matches on my phone"

"Deal, but come in bed with me" As Kageyama got under the covers Hinata cuddled with Kageyama being the little spoon, Kageyama put his arms around him. As they were watching volleyball Kageyama could feel how thin Hinata was even as before Hinata was thin but now he was even thinner. Feeling like if Kageyama hugged him or did anything to him too harsh he could break him and with that Kageyama had a worried expression on his face, seeing Hinata like this made him feel terrible that Hinata is like that is because of him. Kageyama smelled Hinata's hair and the shampoo that Hinata uses the scent was still there but it was fading and Kageyama knew that soon enough his hair would smell like the hospital. He could feel Hinata breathing against him and it made him relax a bit knowing that if Hinata is still breathing he was still here. Kageyama wasn't ready to say goodbye. 

A few hours passed, Kageyama saw Hinata on the black screen that he was sleeping and he seemed peaceful but there were bloodstains on him and Kageyama. Kageyama probably fell asleep while watching the volleyball games and the screen shut off and Hinata probably coughing while he was asleep. He wonders how long has it been since Hinata had a good sleep. He checked his phone to see what time it is and it was past 8 o clock at night. Kageyama slowly unwrapped his arms around Hinata making sure not to wake him up, slowly sat on the bed, and looked at Hinata one last time before leaving. Seeing Hinata breathing and sleeping well made Kageyama knowing that Hinata was still here. 

"I'll see you tomorrow right Kageyama?" Hinata was still laying down on the bed with his eyes closed, half asleep but knowing that Kageyama was about to leave.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow" Kageyama saw Hinata smile before going back to sleep, Kageyama turning the doorknob and leaving the room to go home waiting to be morning to see Hinata again. 

End of Day 1 

Hinata woke up feeling like he slept for many years, it was a nice nap even though his dark eye circles were there they weren't as dark as before. Soon as Hinata woke up he sat down on the bed then started coughing up blood and flowers. Of course, he took some tissues that were beside him but could see his gown had so many bloodstains, he pressed the button for a nurse to assist him. While he waited for a nurse to come and assist he saw the door opening and it was the lady from before when she gave him his breakfast. 

"Good morning Hinata, I brought a new gown and your breakfast"

"T-thank you I was just going to ask if I could have a new gown"

"Well here you go, I'll be leaving now" She left with a warm smile on her face. Hinata got up from the bed and undressed to put on the new, fresh, and warm gown that the nurse has brought. They probably washed it and dried it since it smells nice and it's so warm. As he got done getting undressed he went to the bed and got under the covers, it was cold but not too cold for him to close the window. He was waiting for Kageyama to come and while he was waiting he remembers how comfortable and warm Kageyama was when they cuddled and watched volleyball games and he fell asleep while Kageyama was wrapping his arms around him as if he was protecting him and no harm could come his way. He was looking at the window and wonders when the faithful day will come to take his life away, he closes his eyes not to sleep but to relax and try to remember everything he's gone through not just himself but the people that were with him along his journey. He remembers playing against Kageyama for the first time, losing to him, and declaring that he'll become stronger, joining Karasuno Volleyball Team and meeting amazing people who he can call friends and seeing Kageyama again in the same team, winning against Date Tech, Aoba Johsai, and Shiratorizawa Academy. Then again versing their "destined" rival Nekoma High. He remembers all the new friends he made along the way and even crashing the training camp when he wasn't supposed to. Then he remembers falling in love with Kageyama. 

As he was smiling remembering everything, all the good, sad, and bad times. He wouldn't change a thing about it because those memories are something important to him that made him the person he is, volleyball and his team changed Hinata to want to become "The Little Giant", he remembers wanting to be just like the little giant but now he can't because he's dying but right now he didn't care because he was to busy remembering everything. Later, Hinata heard a knock on the door before slowly opening and he saw Kageyama standing there waiting to make sure it was okay to come in. 

"Don't worry Kageyama, you can come in" Kageyama walked in and sat in the chair beside Hinata's bed looking at him with a worried expression. 

"I'm f-fine I did cough and all but I'm still here it's okay" Hinata smiled at Kageyama to make sure he wasn't lying and made sure not to worry so much. Kageyama wondered how he was okay with everything going on and him knowing that he was going to die, but then he remembered that he was Hinata and he always seemed to have a smile on his face, he seemed like everything was okay but deep down he knew that Hinata was scared to die. 

                                                                                                ~COMMENT IF YOU WANT ME TO FINISH~ If I do I probably will do a few changes to the words to make it have more ~Feelings~    

Chapter Text

It was the third day already. Hinata had the same routine he had for the past 2 days, the nurse comes in to give breakfast and help him with any blood he has coughed during the night. Hinata looked so thin to the point where nurses had to come in every few 30 minutes to check on him and when they did he seemed tired, looking out the window hearing the outside while he's been inside dying, but there would always be tissues in his hands covered in blood. Nurses lost track of how many tissue boxes he had used, and how many gowns he had to change into. Hinata stopped eating much he would take nibbles at his food and say done with it but it would always look full as if he didn't eat anything. Family and friends would come and visit here and there but Hinata looked tired, dark bags under his eyes with a weak smile. Kageyama promised him he would come each day to spend time with Hinata still trying to figure out his feelings. 

Hinata heard a few knocks and the door opened quietly and slowly. He turned his head to see who it was but he knew it was Kageyama and he wasn't disappointed, he was the person he most wanted to see. The man who he has completely fallen in love with and got a disease. As if it was a curse for him but it didn't matter because he would willingly die for him over and over.

"Hinata"

"Kageyama" As Kageyama stepped into the room he looked at Hinata, he looked terrible but he was still the idiot who deeply cared about. 

"Kageyama what's that smell?"

"Oh yeah it's-"

"Pork buns"

"If you knew why bother asking, don't interrupt me" Kageyama took out a bag of pork buns from his sweater which seemed as he was hiding them from the nurses. 

"Were you hiding them?"

"I wasn't sure if you could have outside food so I didn't want to find out so I hid them inside my sweater"

"Ah... Aren't you hot with this weather?"

"It's getting cold actually, do you not feel it? Your window is wide open"

"No, actually I feel warm"

"People dying are supposed to feel cold" The room went silent with the pork buns in the bed, Kageyama was shocked at what he said soon covering his mouth with his hand almost slapping his mouth. Hinata was shocked at what Kageyama said but shook it off.

"I am so sorry Hinata!" Hinata shook his head.

"It's okay, I know I'm dying there really isn't no point in hiding it. You can see me dying" Kageyama sat down beside Hinata's bed, a chair that was always by Hinata's bed almost saying it was for him. He grabbed the bag and took out one steamy pork bun slowly handing it to Hinata.

"Thank you" Hinata grabbed the pork bun but he wasn't rapidly eating it like he usually does but instead he looks at it and smiles.

Kageyama tilted his head a little and just looked at him. In his pov Hinata looked terrible but for a glimpse, he has how healthy he looked with the big hazel brown eyes that make you feel warm all over and a smile that can make anyone stop in their tracks. Hinata mouthed something but Kageyama couldn't figure it out and that's when he snapped back to reality. The reality of his best friend having feelings for him causing him to have the Hanahaki disease and can't get cured until Kageyama returns the feelings... the reality that if he can't figure out his feelings Hinata will leave him behind.

"Kageyama don't daydream on-" Hinata started coughing blood but this time it seemed way too much than before. He couldn't stop, Kageyama froze in fear not knowing what to do but only to see Hinata coughing out too much blood and choking on flower petals coming out of him, the flowers were beautiful but who knew something so beautiful could kill someone who wanted to live. 
Nurses came rushing through the door. 5 to be exact. One of them telling Kageyama that he needs to leave early he cannot be here with the patient, the nurse grabbed his wrist by pulling him out the exit door he saw the pork buns on the floor one covered in blood. Seeing Hinata looking at him while coughing and choking, he still had the nerve to smile at Kageyama as if he was saying everything would be okay. 

Kageyama was outside the hospital. One hour. It was only one hour that he stayed with Hinata, his heart aching and racing. Hinata cannot die, please not yet it's too soon you can't take him from me yet. Give me more time with him I just want to see him more. That's all I'm asking. Don't take him from me just yet.

With that Kageyama having his head down looking at the floor with tears dripping down hitting the floor and leaving wet spots.

Chapter Text

I recommed to play 505 by arctic monkeys slowed (your choice)

[POV Kageyama Tobio] - It was the fourth day since I visited Hinata. Each time I came by to visit he would look terrible each time and all because of losing so much blood. It's my fault, I'm the one who did this to him just because I couldn't return my feelings for him. I'm sorry Hinata I know how much this is hurting you even if you don't show it, your hiding it behind that smile of yours.. that smile of your is something I truly adore because it helped me through so much but of course I never told you because I wouldn't dare. I try not to visit you me thinking it might help you to not cough all the blood and flower petals but it doesn't help. It just comes whenever because your thinking of me and I want to tell you to stop thinking about me but if your willing to die for me then how can I even stop you from thinking about me? It would never work. Today morning the first thing I was thinking was you, you looking at me with those eyes when they were pulling me away from you. I couldn't do anything to help and you were sitting there with all the blood and petals coming out of you. I'm afraid for you to leave... your the person who made me believe in myself and probably not just me that you helped but you helped the Karasuno team when we had it tough. 
I can't visit you today, that's what they told me. What if something happened and I'm not there? What if something is going on without me being there holding your hand and making sure for you not to be afraid. If you can make me believe in myself again can I help you by being by your side holding your hand? Is it okay for me not to be there? Do you not want me there with you...anymore?. 
Hours go by just me in my room thinking about you, laying down, staring at the ceiling, and no lights on just you on my mind wondering if you still here with me, even if I can't be there please know that you said you probably have five days with me not four. Four isn't enough I want more time with you. My mom asking if I'm hungry and to come out of my room when I tell her I'm fine and everything is okay but honestly, I can't eat without knowing your fine even if it's a heartbeat. Please give me a sign that you are okay anything will do just make it clear because I want to know it's you signaling me and not just anyone but you. Thinking about you 24/7 makes my heart ache a lot. Does this mean...I have feelings for you?

My phone rings. 

It keeps ringing.

Ringing. Ringing. 

I don't have the energy to pick it up or even see who it is but I check. Unknown is what it says. By this point, I don't care if it's a scammer I just answer. 

[Kageyama] "Hello?" My voice sounds bleh 

[Hinata] "Kageyama?" As the voice from the other side of the line, I sit up quickly. Knowing that voice it must be him. It has to. 

[Kageyama] "Hinata?"

[Hinata] "Yeah it's me, Hi" confirming that it's him makes my heart pound quickly knowing he's safe and okay makes my lips turn into a smile. Thank you for taking care of Hinata.

[Kageyama] "Are you okay? What are you doing? Can I come over to check on you?"

[Hinata] "Kageyama I-I'm okay! I'm sorry b-but you can't come over t-today" 

[Kageyama] "I need to make sure you are okay Hinata"

[Hinata] "Your hearing my voice right now so technically y-you can tell I'm f-fine" With those words coming from Hinata my heart beats faster than before and it aches. 

[Hinata] "Since you can't come over today can we talk over the phone?"

[Kageyama] "Yeah sure, by the way who's phone are you using because if it was your phone your name would've popped up when you called me"

[Hinata] "I'm using an extra phone they have stored" 

[Kageyama] "Alright, let's talk about anything, you talk and I'll listen and talk when needed I just want to hear you for the most part"

I could hear Hinata laugh from the other line. It's been a while since I heard his laugh, I'm thankful I could hear it and for now all I want is Hinata talking and all I will do is listen and talk when he asks me anything or when I need to. Hinata is someone I adore and glad I have someone to have around and now knowing that he's going to leave me..It hurts me.

We've been talking for about two hours now. I'm still not tired by hearing him talk, hearing him talking is letting me know that he's still here with me. There's been a few stuttering here and there but I don't care, him coughing and trying to cover the speaker so I wouldn't hear is something he would do while talking, even trying to cover it I could still here him cough and a few nurses coming in to help him, hearing him say "I'm okay, thank you". Then when it was over he would talk to me as if nothing happened. 

[Hinata] "Hey Kageyama are you tired of hearing me talk n-now? I feel like It's been t-to long for me to t-talk" 

[Kageyama] "No, everything is perfect Hinata I'm happy just hearing your voice right now"

[Hinata] "Kageyama you idiot...You know there was a something my mom told me when I was younger and I still remember it til this day"

[Kageyama] "I'll listen, go on" 

[Hinata]  "My mom said people who tr-truly love each other they w-will see each other a-again in another l-life. Being with the p-person you love the most is a d-dream come true that can s-seem like a dream, and being in another life with the p-person you l-love seems something b-beautiful don't you think so K-Kageyama?...Do you believe in another life? W-when I die I hope I get reincarnated in another l-life with you, of course when you d-die. In another life where this d-disease doesn't exit and I can just l-love you freely without there b-being a consequence. I still want to be a-able to play volleyball w-with you"

I never believed in being reincarnated. If it means being with Hinata and feeling the same things over again with him spoiling me with love and volleyball then I will believe in being reincarnated and being with you Hinata. In another life we can be together forever, you know grow old together.

[Kageyama] "I'll believe Hinata because if it means you being well then I'll try to do anything to be reincarnated in another life with you"

[Hinata] "Thank you...I really hope w-were together again. It will be so much f-fun playing volleyball with you, you s-setting for me, after practices, walking together home after practice, and m-most importantly falling in l-love with you all over again" 
With that I can tell Hinata was smiling excited to see what the future hold for him later on. In another life...huh..yes that would be pleasing to have. Dating Hinata would be nice. 

[Kageyama] "Sure, but you asking me over and over to set for you would be annoying"
There was silence for a while. I checked my phone to see if we were still calling 2:43:45 is how long we have been talking with each other. For a few seconds I didn't hear Hinata...

[Kageyama] "Hey Idiot are you there?... talk to me" 

No answer...but then I heard sniffles coming from the other line. That's when I realized Hinata was crying, trying to hold in his tears with all the strength he has left.

[Hinata]  "I'm sorry, so sorry. P-please Kageyama I'm sorry for crying. This talking with you is amazing and honestly the longest we've t-talked but realizing that it might be our last is terrifying me, I don't want to die. I'm not ready to say g-goodbye and leave you. I need you because I love you so much I really do and I'm scared because the Hanahaki d-disease is killing me for l-loving you and I'm angry at myself because I wanted you to love me back. I'm sorry...Please I d-don't want to leave you..I love you so much"

....

[Kageyama] "I crumble completely when you cry...that I love you so much and I'm sure of my feelings that I have feelings for you"

[Hinata] "It's okay...because no matter what happens I'll always l-love you"

I heard Hinata coughing knowing exactly that what I said it didn't cure him. Why? I love him so why doesn't it cure him? I'm not lying! Cure him.

Cure him

Cure him

Stop killing him

I confessed my feelings 

so...why?

[Hinata] "Hey I-I'm getting tired"

[Kageyama] "It's only 7:30pm" 

[Hinata]  "Weird right? I-I know it's still p-pretty early but my eyes are g-getting tired and my b-body is falling asleep I c-can barely keep the p-phone up to my ear"

[Kageyama] "Okay then... I'll visit you tomorrow"

[Hinata]  "Of course, goodbye Kageyama we'll m-meet again, thank y-you for talking to m-me even though I m-mostly did all the t-talking. I love you"

[Kageyama] "Bye, I'll see you tomorrow"

We hanged. 3:06:18 

Why did it sound like you greeted me with a goodbye? Not yet Hinata...Stay a little longer.

I love you Hinata

Chapter Text

Hello everyone, this is me coming back and I just want to say I’m sorry for leaving and not coming back after 1-2 years. I just want to say that I will continue the story but I do need your guys opinion if I should continue and please do say what I should add if I should continue.
Much love~

Chapter Text

The next day has passed, and I was ready to see Hinata, ever since that call he is all I could think about I was scared to let him go...I was scared that he was going to leave me. I knew that part of Hinata's disease is my fault because if I wasn't much of a coward and just tell him how I feel he wouldn't go through this, and he would be by my side. I was ready to go and visit him I went out my door I couldn't visit him during midnight since he did say he was tired, but I was scared of seeing him again. Hinata was the only person to believe in me and show me how much worth I have and why couldn't I see it sooner that I had feelings for him, and he had feelings for me? I'm sorry. I saw the hospital and while getting there I could feel my heart thumping with how scared I was. I need him. I want to love him. I want to cherish him. I want to hold him and tell him all the things he's done for me.

As I get in the hospital, I rush to Hinata's room number, but he wasn't there. The bed was made as if there was never a person there and no one used the room since the beginning, there was no blood where Hinata puked out and there were no flower petals seen anywhere. No scent of him... nothing was there of him. "Excuse me sir?'' I turned around and saw a nurse holding a box of flower petals and a letter looking worried.

"Ma'am have you seen a guy in here? he has bright orange hair, and he was really sick did you possibly move him into another room? I need to see him please I'm begging you"

"Sir...I' terribly sorry but the young man who was here last night has died"

As I heard those words my mind went blank. He couldn't have left he couldn't have died and not that easy he was determined to stay and being here with me. I was going to tell him I love him.

"No. He's still alive. Please tell me he's here and he told you to say something like that I need to tell him that I love him p-please"

As I said that please a voice crack came out of me. I was crying. My eyes were watering, and I couldn't control my tears as I sat on the bed that Hinata Shoyo once laid in. I was crying like I've never cried before, my heart was hurting, and it was aching because the one person I loved with everything in me has left me and it's my fault. Everything is my fault.

"I'm so sorry sir, but the young man told me that someone he loves was eventually going to come and he told me a good description of that person and he seems a lot like you. He told me to give you these flowers and this letter"

"So, he knew he was going to die?"

"Sir he was coughing up too much blood and was not eating, his skin was cold I don't think he would've made it past the night."

How could she say that so calming? She's a nurse. She shouldn't be saying that. I didn't dare look at her.

"He took a long time in that letter and I saw him shed a few tears. He really loved you, too bad he had a terrible disease... I guess it's not a happy ever love story"

I just sat there where Hinata use to lay looking at the flower petals in a box and the letter that Hinata wrote specifically for me, he probably walked to the bathroom that's in the right side of the bed to clean off the blood that he coughed into, the stains are there but hardly. I could hear the nurse walking away and shutting the door behind her, I was alone now. The windows were closed you could barely hear from the outside noises, and Hinata wasn't here. God, how I miss his laughter, his smile, his warmth. He was annoying but he gave me reasons to look at things differently and he believed in me while others looked in another direction not caring. I saw the letter and I reached out to it and it's in my grasp but I'm feeling hesitant but I know I have to open it because it was the last thing Hinata ever touched.

I opened it.

Dear Kageyama,

it's me Hinata. I'm pretty sure if your reading this letter you have gotten the news about me, and I promise if I haven't died I would throw this letter away but I'm coughing too much and I can hardly breathe with the petals coming out of me. I'm sorry I fell in love with you and I put you in a tight spot but if someone would take my feelings away from ever loving you I don't think I would want them too because even though it hurts it would hurt more knowing I can't love you. We live in a world where people lose their loved ones and It hurts me knowing that this will ever be my last ever letter I am ever going to write but if it's for you then I'm okay with that. This disease is very much deadly and it hurts a lot Kageyama...but I guess it's a curse for loving someone. I don't want you too feel any guilt about me dying please because it's not your fault and I wish I could hug you and kiss you and tell you everything is okay and it's not your fault and never will be. I have bloomed for you Kageyama because these flower petals show how much I love you and how much my feelings are real. I'm not sure if you like me back if I'm being honest but that's okay because I still love you and always will.

Did you know that my mom once told me this story when I was younger that there once was this couple who loved each other dearly which they would die for another, eventually one had a deadly disease and the other partner stayed with them till the end but before the person died they promised that they would find each other in another life time. Another life time where neither have a disease and they continue their love without a worry in the world, grow old together and die together. Later on another life happened and they found each other. They knew something when they first laid eyes in the after life and eventually they got married and neither had the disease that killed one of them. Another life in another time world does exist Kageyama and ever since that story my mom has told me I started to believe. I want to believe that in another life time I can be able to find you and tell you how much I love you without worrying about flower petals coming out of me and suffocating me, you loving me would make me want to marry you on the spot. Hey Kageyama, do you believe in another life time? Let's get married and live a happy life with each other. I love you always and forever. 

Hinata- 

I could feel tears start forming with my eyes getting watery but I didn't bother stopping them because I just lost someone who loved me unconditionally and someone who I love. I cried my heart out holding the letter to my chest, but I will wait for you Hinata shoyo because understand that there will never be anyone in this world as perfect as you are. If the afterlife does exist please i would like to be there to finally hold your hand and tell you how much I love you everyday because once I find you I probably would want to marry you. 

The End~